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cover of episode #492 - We Took The Substance

#492 - We Took The Substance

2025/3/3
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The Basement Yard

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专注于电动车和能源领域的播客主持人和内容创作者。
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主持人: 我想讨论一下最近在社交媒体上很火的深海鮟鱇鱼视频。这些鱼类长相丑陋,令人恐惧,它们用头上的灯吸引其他鱼类,然后捕杀它们。这让我思考人类对自然的看法,我们是否应该干预自然界的生存法则? 我看到一个女孩因为深海鮟鱇鱼的视频而哭泣,这让我感到困惑。她为什么哭泣?是因为她同情这种生物,还是因为她对人类对自然的干预感到担忧? 深海鮟鱇鱼的生存方式很残酷,但这是自然界的规律。我们人类是否应该干预这种规律?如果我们能够选择性地消灭某些物种,例如深海鮟鱇鱼,我们是否应该这样做?这涉及到伦理和道德问题。 此外,深海鮟鱇鱼的发光机制也让我感到好奇。它们是如何产生光的?这与萤火虫的发光机制有什么不同? 总而言之,深海鮟鱇鱼的视频引发了我们对自然、生存和人类干预的思考。我们需要认真思考我们与自然的关系,以及我们应该如何对待自然界中的各种生物。 Joey Santagati: 我也看到了关于深海鮟鱇鱼的视频,它们确实很可怕。它们长着锋利的牙齿和一个像灯泡一样的发光器官,用来吸引猎物。 我小时候看过《海底总动员》,当时并不知道深海鮟鱇鱼是真实存在的。看到这些视频后,我感到震惊和恐惧。这种生物的生存方式如此残酷,令人难以置信。 有人建议用核武器消灭深海鮟鱇鱼,我认为这是不可取的。核武器会污染海洋,对人类和其他的海洋生物造成巨大的伤害。 深海鮟鱇鱼的发光机制很神奇,但我们对它的了解还很有限。我们需要进一步研究,才能更好地理解这种生物。 总的来说,深海鮟鱇鱼的视频让我对自然界的残酷和神奇有了更深刻的认识。我们应该尊重自然界的规律,而不是试图去改变它。

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Welcome back to the Basem- Welcome back to the Basemanyard. I don't know why I lifted up my microphone, but welcome back to the Basemanyard. Frank, you're all in light blue. Show your muscles. That's why you were doing it. I don't know why I picked it up like this. Oh, you're golden out today. You're goldy locks. What do you mean? Gold to gold. The shirt is gold. This is called beige. I know what it's called, bitch. It's not gold. But I'm saying, like, everything, like, you got the gold on the watch. I mean, you're all light blue.

I mean, I... Old, old merch. Old merch. You see this? Old, old, old. Do you know that... Oldie logs. I cut that with a knife. That's what all those cuts are? Yeah. That sucks. Why would you do that? Why are you wearing it if it sucks? That's a stupid question. Touché. Touché. Yeah. Actually, I don't know if that's true. Wait, why is it a stupid question? Because I wear other stuff that sucks? Um...

Wait, wait, wait. So hold on. So this was just a normal denim hat, which is a crazy thing to say in the year of our Lord. Yeah. And you just like, you know what? I want to make it look tattered. So I'm going to take a knife to it. That was the idea with it. Yes. So every one of these hats that went out, you did that too. Now I can't remember. I feel like there wasn't a lot of those that actually went out.

But I'm pretty sure I did it. So if anyone has this hat in the world, just know that the Lord and Savior over there, Joey Santagati, took a knife to it. Yeah. Like held a knife. Did you hold a knife to it like British style? Or was it a fucking kitchen knife? What's British style? It's like the...

Like a butterfly knife? Not the press the button and it pops out. And they press it to the neck and they're like, oh, you got tiny, tiny. Like one of those? Yeah, I don't know. And if you don't start that timer, I will come over there and I will kick you in half. Kick it in half is crazy. Yeah. What kind of knife did you use? Whatever was in my kitchen. Not a butter knife, like a knife. Like a serrated knife? A knife that I've used to cut food with.

So, if anyone has a hat that is... This is old. It was a clean hat. I mean, it was a clean knife. This is extra Joe. That's what the X stood for. Yeah. Extra Joe on top of the other parts of Joe that they got. All right. This is more Joe. There were people that probably were hoping that extra Joe meant something else. Triple X. Triple X. X. X. X. Extra Joe.

No. What, realistically, have you ever even thought about doing, like, any form of, like... Porn? No. I wasn't going to say porn, but just, like, showing your balls, showing your... Porn. Is that porn? I think porn is the act of sexing. No, it's not. Like, the sex. What's Playboy? Is Playboy porn? Showing your boobs on a magazine. What is the definition of pornography? Is it just naked? I can't Google porn. Pornography sounds like magazines. Porn sounds like digital stuff.

Pornography is so like... But I think they're frogs and toads. I think that like you can have video stuff that is pornography and have pornography that's not video stuff. Like frogs and toads. Do you remember that? Do you remember...

Frogs and toads? Yeah, it's been beat into my head, so I remember it. Can you just look, just Google the definition of pornography. Who's gonna get in trouble? Who's gonna get in trouble here? You think HR is coming through and they're gonna fucking save us? It honestly is weird. What is the definition of pornography? That says photography. It does. It is kind of weird that like porn has the same...

It's like, you know how geography has graphy? Well, yeah, graphy is, I think, it's just the study of it. So this is the study of porn. Is it the study? Printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs. Yeah. All right. So printed. So technically, Fifty Shades of Grey is porn.

I, uh, soft core. Well, no. I mean, who cares about the core? It's just porn. I mean, the core matters. And we have, we have, by the way. Yeah. It's so quickly been demonetized. Yeah. You know, it's over with. Um, but I think, uh, yo, did I ever tell you? I may have told you, but I found a play girl in my neighbor's house.

And it was just like dudes in jeans with their dicks out. And I was like, what? I swear to God. Bro, you know, do you remember the wrestler Shawn Michaels? Yeah. He was in Playgirl. Before. He probably had his thing out. Before, you know. Before what? Before the eyes went their own separate ways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, before his eyes got divorced. One of his eyes, yeah, they came, one of them got off the leash. So technically, like, fanfic is porn. I don't think words is porn.

It just said printed. Printed could be magazines. Go back to that. It says printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display. Description. Yeah, I guess maybe, yeah. So this is, if I were to just like describe. Like, oh, I'm doing, I've got my thumb in here. If I were to describe your penis, that would be porn. Right. You know, that'd be great. Two inches. Don't bear. Don't do that. Barely what?

Oh, what should we say for you? Oh, just so big and hairy or whatever. He said it, not me, you know. You got a big hairy dick?

You've got to get off of this topic. This is crazy. We've got to get off of this topic. This is absolutely crazy that we got here. You can't do it. But yeah, extra Joe. X, X, X. Yo, by the way, I knew I wanted to talk about this with you because it was big on social media. I watched one video and then every single video was this. But the story about that angler fish just like getting to the surface and dying and shit. Dude, these things are fucking terrible. What was the first movie? Finding Nemo. Remember that shit?

Finding Nemo? Finding Nemo, of course. Yeah, that's where they first saw an anglerfish. You think I saw them before finding Nemo? I didn't know those fish were real. And then even seeing the videos of this thing, why does it have a mouth like that? It not only has a mouth, like, bro. Severe underbite. If you, yeah. Insane. If you had asked me at the age of nine years old to draw a scary fish...

And this is not even a joke. That is what I would have drawn. A million teeth. Just the sharpest teeth that are coming out of nowhere. And it's got a light bulb in its head. Well, that's because it needs to see where it's going. But how much does that work down there? Frank, that's not what it's for. What is it for? It's to attract other fish so they can kill them. Yo, those are such hideous animals, dude. It's crazy that an animal like this exists on our planet and we're just like, cool. Why haven't we nuked the oceans yet to get rid of these fuckers?

That wouldn't be good for us. Nuking the oceans? No. I mean, you want to pollute the ocean with nuke? I mean, if we could... All right, hear me out. I'm hearing. I know J. Robert Oppenheimer's family watches this show. Do you? That's the first I'm hearing. If they could figure out a way to just target an animal like this one. Yeah. And then, like, release...

It only takes out these. Got it. We can add ticks in there, too. We don't even know how many there are. I don't even know if we know that, but I assume we do. How many anglerfish could there be? Apparently, this was the first one that they...

Have seen like near the surface These big little fuckers I hate them I saw a video of a girl like crying About this Why is she crying? She's upset? She was upset because it was like It was like they Of course Romanticized the story And made it so like

you know, this angler fish, they use that light on their head to attract other fish. And then I was reading these comments. I'm not kidding, bro. I got a little choked up. Really? Like, it kind of, like, fucked me up a little bit. Wait, how does this thing just produce light? That I'm not even going to even think about. Because them and lightning bugs, this is all... Wait, how do they do that? Bro, lightning bugs have lighting up their ass. Yo, they literally have light bulbs in their asshole. They literally, and they're like... And they're like...

They're like, oh, take a look at this. What do you think about? Bro. And you ever kill a lightning bug and go like that? Yeah. You're. Wait, hold on. There's problems there. Wait, no. There's problems. No, I feel bad, but I've killed one. I was on purpose, but I like killed one. And but it's like the lights. Like, it's like. Yeah, bro. It's like a fucking. It's like.

It's like a... It's like a juice. A glow stick. A glow stick. It's like that. What the hell is this shit? They have a glow stick shoved in their ass. Do you remember glow stick parties in college where people would break them and, like, put them all over their face and shirts and shit like that and they would dance and it'd be like, this looks... But they knew what they were doing. You're gonna skip over that? Yeah. Your little fucking glow stick parties? I mean, I was... Also, putting glow stick on your...

body is probably bad for you. I don't know. What the fuck is it? What is glow stick? It's, it's like neon. What is glow stick? What is neon shit? Why does it get activated when I crack it? I imagine because it's like a bag of like an ice pack. Like there's like chemicals and water. And then when you mix them together, it makes it. So the plastic tube is filled with a chemical mixture, including diph...

Diphenyl Diphenyl Diphenyl oxalate Or a similar oxalate ester Oh I Okay so a similar To oxalate ester That's now like Oh to ester Got it Gotcha Yeah Oh so a separate glass vial Inside the tube Holds hydrogen peroxide Yeah

Nothing was cool. Bro, and also, why the fuck did we put them in the freezer after? And they were like, if you want them to last longer, put them in the freezer. When am I going to use a glow stick again? I mean, glow sticks were pretty cool. Now you can find them anywhere. But like back in the day, you can only find them at like dances, school dances and like Fourth of July firework parties. You know, I'm sure they were everywhere. But like my family protected me from them enough in order to feel joy when I saw them. I feel like I've only been around glow sticks around your family.

Probably, honestly. I mean, I used to like making them one for like... Pretty cool family. Yeah. I'm a glow stick family. Oh my god. Do you remember at like Remy, the like guidos that would get the glow sticks and put them in their hands and they would frolic? You know you brought this up not too long ago. I know. It's so seared into your brain. Bro, because... Because they would be like, you know, like the most like hyper masculine, like, oh, I'm sorry, you like to fucking...

wax your eyebrows gay like they were so like hyper toxic masculine and like then they would put glow stick in their fingers wearing skin tight puma track suits and they would fucking and like dance with their boys be honest have you ever done it in front of the mirror and try to be good at it no have you ever tried to learn a dance oh yeah i've told i've i've have i not told you this story which dance

So, as you know, for those of you that don't know this, you might know this story, but there might be people, you know, every show. I get it. Every show there might be a first-time listener. We don't know. Well, that's why we need to pretend as if this is their first time. But which dance? You may have told us. So I gatekeeped. Gatekeeped? Gatekept. Gatekept dancing.

From who? When I was in middle school. Oh, yes, you did tell me this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what I did is when I was in middle school, so for those of you guys that don't know, I went to a different school for sixth grade and then a different school for seventh grade. And when I got to seventh grade, I told people, like, I don't dance anymore. Yeah, that you're retired. I retired from dancing. Because you're so good. Because I was so good at dancing, dude. That included grinding. Oh, you didn't ground? No.

It took... I took a wild, but... Oh. But the real story... You went on a grinding hiatus. The real... You're like, yo, chill, chill, chill. I just ground so much. My shit is like mashed potatoes right now. Yeah, like sixth grade was wild. I'm off the grinder. But the real... The truth was that like...

I had done it a few times before, but I looked stupid doing it. So I didn't want to keep doing it. You were scared because you were like, oh, I'm not good at this. I was scared because I was like, what if this is not a good ground? What if it's not a good grinding? What if I'm not a good grinder? Exactly. So then I gatekept it. I told all the girls, I don't dance. And...

It made them want to dance with you. Supply and demand. Economics 101. If I remove the supply of me grinding, the demand for my grinding abilities was through the roof. So people were just desperate to grind on you. I wouldn't say desperate, but they were clamoring. Okay. You know? Yeah. There was a clamor out there for grinding on me. Right. And I really put it out there like I was...

A world-renowned grinder. I mean, obviously. If you saw me in seventh grade, would you not think, like, this is someone that knows how to dance? I would think that. Yeah, and I would think, why is he wearing four shirts and they're all XXL? I think the most I wore at a point is three. That's too many. It's a lot. The most I wore was three. And the biggest shirt I had was a 5XL.

No, you didn't. Yes, I did. You had a 5XL t-shirt? Yes, I did. Was it covering your shoes? It was quite big. It must have been. It was quite big. I don't know if I've ever seen a 5XL in person. I've seen up to 7. I've seen a 7XL. 7XL? Yeah. That's a lot of shirts. So as I gatekept grinding, I knew that I had to reenter the market.

The grinding market. Market reintegration. So who was your first one back? Economics 102. I don't think that's how that works. I think it's 201. Yeah, I don't know. You don't know because of college. Right. And you probably should know because you were a business major, weren't you? I took all these classes. Okay, so you know, understand that market reintegration for grinding. The supply chain. Yeah. You remove the supply of grinding in economics 101. Mm-hmm.

Reintegration into the market. Naturally. Naturally. Who was your first grind? I'm not going to say their name. Do I know them? You might have met them, but they were from my school. Okay. But in order to properly reenter the market, there was a whole business plan behind it. I needed to make sure as I reentered the grinding market, I didn't go in. Right.

Looking as a novice. You needed a good product. I needed a good product. So you, wait, hold on. So you were in your mirror, like getting ground on? So I started the reintegration process joking around, saying like, I'll go and I'll like dance behind people like that. Just to like joke, like what is he? You were testing the market. That's what it is.

Yeah. Dipping my toe into the market. Right. That's your finger. But yeah, I can't show my toes. People will. Yeah. Yeah. Run away with that one. Yeah. Triple X Joe. Okay. So in order to make sure that I didn't look like an idiot, because that was of paramount importance to me. Of course. You know, I would dance like that in the mirror and I did it once. And I said, wait, you would like, you would be like, Oh, I'm getting grounded. I was, Oh,

Like that in the mirror. Wait, if someone's grinding on you, you're doing that? Well, that's how I started the reintegration into the market. Right. No, I'm talking about... You know, the reintroduction of the grinding market. Right. Making sure I moved into a place of comfort and confidence...

This is market testing 101, Joey. Economics 301. Now we're in economics 301. This is more college experience you've ever had in your life. Yeah, it is. I am trying to picture this. So that first time that you came back, you un-retired.

I probably had put feelers out into the market to understand what the demand was and said something along the lines of like- Where was this first grind? It was at a school dance or a bar mitzvah. It's very difficult to tell the difference between the two. That I feel like should be easy.

I went to a lot of bar and bat mitzvahs growing up. Right. So chances are it was at one of those. But like I said, I was just like. What made you be like, yo, this is the moment. I'm coming back. A girl. But did everyone be like, oh, yeah. Stop it. There was a crowd of people being like, Frankie's grinding. Look at it. Look at it. I can't believe he retired this. Look how good he is. Economics, my friends. Economics. Okay. Understanding the market. And you just pulled up your 5XL shirt and you were like.

I mean, no. I was probably, if I was at one of those, Barba Mitzvahs wearing a shirt and tie or something like that. And like a disposable yarmulke. You had a bunch of those. I have. Yeah. They weren't disposable. I only have one left. It's a real yarmulke. I don't know if they just gave you like... Yeah, we'll give them one. Oh, yeah. I mean, maybe. I'm not sure. Don't they have clips now? Some of them. Mine doesn't have a clip. That's why I said...

I mean, it's like a very— Disposable is probably not what I wanted to say. It's like a good quality. It's like felt. Okay. Does it say, like, fucking Jonah's 16th birthday or something? You know, I don't know if it does. I don't think it does, but I'll check. Jakob's Bar Mitzvah. Who's the bar and the bar? I don't remember. Forgive me. Yeah, we don't know. Our friends. Have you bar mitzvahed? Barred? Never. Yeah, me neither. I've been probably to more bar and bar mitzvahs than I have sweet 16s. I only went to two. And weddings.

Okay, that's bananas. Bro, because I went to that camp on Long Island that was all Jewish kids too. And I went to a ton there. Wait, you were 15 back then? I thought you were way younger than that. No, I was younger. Barnabas ministers are like 12 and 13. Oh, I thought it was like 16. I thought it was like a sweet 16. No, no, no, no. It's younger. Oh, okay.

I didn't know that. Bar and Bar Mitzvahs and then quinceañeras is 15. Well, that I know. Sweet 16s is 16. I've never been to a quinceañera. Neither have I. Really? Yeah. Frank Alvarez? Francisco Alvarez? You've never been to a quinceañera? You think just because I'm a Hispanic man that means that I just go to quinceañeras? Yes. Yeah, that would make sense logically. You would have family that has fucking... No, no, no. I can't remember ever going to a quinceañera. Do you remember the Sweet 16 show growing up?

My super sweet 16. Oh my God. And these girls would be like, fuck. Like their dad got them. Yeah. I'll tell you right now. If fucking the yin yang twins are not at my sweet 16, you're fucking dead, dad. Yeah. It would be like that. Like legitimately. Oh my God. Looking back on them. It was like some of them where they were just like, did he better be here? And it's like, Whoa. Yeah. If all that porn talked into it, that did it. Uh,

There we go. D, Monica. But I remember on that show there was like a girl who was like upset because her dad got her like a Range Rover and it wasn't white. So she was like, what the fuck? Can you look up craziest moments on my Super Sweet 16? I remember they had all those shows back then. There was like- What do you think? We're just going to sit here and watch a video compilation? I don't know. That's not going to happen, Frank. No, I don't tell you like something and like it'll be like, what happened? This is what happened. I'm just saying like-

The Lexus. Extravagant over the top. You're just reading the description of the show. Without the videos, you're not going to know what any of these mean. It's fine. We can make assumptions. Do you remember... Off, completely derailed this episode. Go ahead. Do you remember my ex-girlfriend's Sweet 16 that I got uninvited from at the end? Wait, you were already there and you got uninvited? No, no, no. Can you remember... Have you been to Sweet 16s? Yeah. How many? Like two. And you're going to one next week, right?

Absolutely not. I went to... Oh, wait. You went to one last week. I did. Why? I did. It was his family member. Still funny. But...

The thing that they do, did they do it at yours? Do they still do it? It's like the candle per, like, this candle is for. Did you get a candle? I did not. Fucking loser. What a fucking loser. Fuck you. Did you get a sweet 16 candle? Your cousin hates you. And his own family, his own flesh and blood, they don't give you a fucking candle. That's crazy. Crazy. Have you ever gotten a candle with a sweet 16? I have gotten a candle. Whose? My sister's.

Which one? Which candle? It was very far down the line. Damn! That sucks. That's crazy bananas. I don't know if it's good to be first to last. Have you gotten a candle at a street season? No. No. I did not. I've gotten two that I can remember. It's like, this is for the boy. Yeah, like, this first candle is for my mom and dad. Mom and dad, you're, like, so important to me. I wouldn't be here without you. Like, yeah. I'm becoming a woman. You're 16. Great.

Gross. Let's make that very clear. What are we doing? What Sweet Sixteens and Quinceañeras. And Bar Mitzvahs. Now they're saying, you're becoming a man. 13 years old. But I think Bar Mitzvahs have a religious meaning, so I don't want to touch that. I don't want to make fun of that one. But like the Sweet Sixteens were just like, now you're a woman. It's like, no. No, she isn't. That is gross. Pretty gross. Why is she in cheetah print? Yeah. Oh.

Everyone was in cheetah print at Sweet 16. No, but a girl that you know and I, we were dating. You were dating at this thing? So we were on and off again leading up to her Sweet 16. And she told me, she was like, you're getting a candle. And I was just like. You found out at the thing? No, before. Okay. I was like, really? She's like, yeah, you're getting a candle. I was like, all right. And then I found out a bunch of shit went down between her and I didn't end up going. To the Sweet 16? To the Sweet 16. A bunch of our friends did.

And she had obviously not given me a candle. But she said you? No. But someone made like a slideshow of pictures, you know, like over like fucking, you remember all, well it was 2008. People did the lowest lift for like, it was like a slideshow of pictures and like Windows Media Player played in the background and it was like vitamin C. Of course. You know, like, you know. Yeah.

And anytime a picture of me and her popped up, the whole place booed. Shut the fuck up.

I wasn't there though, but a bunch of our friends told us like yo like every time I figured you popped up. It's amazing I wasn't there. I know you didn't go. Oh, I would have booed so hard. What? It's hilarious. You would if you would have booed me that would have been grounds for fighting I would have listened to whatever like Rap I was listening to that week and I would have fought you that week. Stunt 101. Yeah, I would have fucking like yo, that's it. You know what honestly us no pussy Joe.

Damn, they started booing you? They started booing me. So, that's awesome. Who am I? Wait, did you not go? Or she was like, don't fucking come. No, I said, like, I'm not going. Oh, okay. You know. Did you guys date after that whole thing? On and off again. On and off again. Even after the booing? But, like, it was all, it was all. The public shaving. It was all. So, you know me. Right. You know me. I do. Yeah. I called her. And I was just like, hey, heard about the Sweet 16.

Thanks for making it more about me than about you. Click. You didn't say that. Did I? What day did you call it? The day after? I don't remember what day. It was after, though. Knowing you, you didn't let it breathe. And let me let you know something. A lot of IMs? Boy, oh boy, was I in trouble.

She didn't like that. Oh, no, she didn't. But you guys were still together eventually after that? Not like together, but like, you know, just like as young teenagers. It's like, we're going to work it out. You said, thanks for making that more about me than you. Bang. Bang, bang. Or more like this. More like. Yeah, yeah. Oh, and it felt good. Wow. You know? What are you going to do? Just take your battery out of your phone at that point. Just lay it down. And I remember when I would do that, I would watch it ring.

Yeah, you're a sicko, I think. I was a sicko. I'm no longer. That's awesome. It's either laughing or fucking having a...

A stroke. Yeah. I don't know what's going on over there. A fucking mesothelioma attack. A hoot? Oh, mesothelioma. Right. What's Mesopotamia? That was a place. Right, but what is that? That was like an ancient place. Like Atlantis? I think it was where like Iraq and Turkey, that area was. Oh, I thought this was like a fairytale place. No, I believe Mesopotamia was a real place, Joey. What?

I believe so. Can you look up... Atlantis wasn't real, right? No, a lot of people believe it was real too. Can you look up where was Mesopotamia? If you're right, I'm going to be so... I'm going to have so much respect. Located in the Fertile Crescent area between Tigris and Euphrates. Iran, Syria, and Turkey. Yeah, Iran, Syria, Turkey. I was right. That's why a lot of people, like the ancient city of Troy, because the only talks about it were in ancient...

like texts and a lot of people thought they were myths, but a lot of people believe that Troy was Turkey. So like the whole, like they're coming with a horse. Let me be very clear about something. If I'm at war with a country and they just drop a horse off at my front gate as a gift, what?

stupid do you think I am? Also, what am I going to do with this giant horse? Yeah, and also, I don't want this. Like, it was a big one and you wouldn't hear the people in it like, shh, shh, shh, shh. I mean, maybe you wouldn't, but like, also, what am I going to do with the horse? I would, honestly, I would be like, you know what, fuck this thing. Set it on fire. I would have burnt it and sent it back. This guy's looking up Trojan horses.

Trojan horse diagram? Yeah, how big was this horse? Bro, I don't give a fuck how big it was. Yo, can I say this? If I'm at war with a country and they're like, yo, here's a big wooden horse, I know something's up. It's hollowed out and not filled with Trojan men. Well, the Trojan army was like the Greek army. Yo, honestly, this is genius. Whoever did that, whoever was the guy who made that call, what a good call. What a stupid call. Whoever was the one that was like, you know what?

This looks pretty cool. Yeah. Bro, bring the giant horse in. I'm telling you right, if a package shows up at my house and I don't know what it is, I'm terrified. You think of a fucking giant wooden horse shows up at the gates? I'm going to be like,

Get the fuck out of here! I get a phone call from a number I don't have saved and I'm like, no way I'm picking that up. I'm not wheeling in a giant horse. Zero. Less than zero percent of a chance am I fucking accepting that. Who wheeled it up to the gate? Idiots! Well, no, I guess the people that did it were smart. So the Trojans got there and they're like, yeah, we just want to get you something nice, you know, some wooden horse. What does it say here? Greek mythology. Yeah, see, it was mythology. Trojan horse horse.

Why do you say horse like that? Horse. Horse. Said to have been used by the Greeks during the Trojan War to enter the city of Troy and win. Time out. Wait, the Trojan horse wasn't a real thing? No, that's what they just said. That all the mentions of the Trojan War were in, like, the Odyssey, you know, like... Wait, wait. You didn't know this? This isn't real?

There is some evidence to suggest that it was but like mythology I think of Zeus throwing lightning which didn't happen. Well as far as you know come on but no so like the the the What's it called the Iliad and the Odyssey? That's what is like the story of the Trojan War bro. This is baffling and and a lot of people believe like they're like, oh, maybe it was fake but then there's like oh wait, maybe it wasn't fake and

Ancestors diving in. Was the Trojan horse real? It was not real. Google says no. It might have been, though. Bro. It might have been. No. That's what we don't know. Do you also think that Hercules can pick up the sun? Relax. Let me ask you a question. Relax, Peter Pan. It didn't happen. First of all, Hercules wasn't picking up the sun. Whatever the fuck happened. Second of all, you're talking about Apollo holding the world on his back.

His name was Atlas, dumbass. That's him. Damn it! Damn it! And Medusa. Snakes for hair? I don't think so, Medusa. Fuck that shit. You turn me to stone when you look at me?

That's like you can look through a mirror. What was that bullshit? Yeah, that was who was that guy that did that? The ancient Greek like mythological. What was his name? Stavros probably. Stavros. Yanis. Yanis. Stavros. And Yorgos. Dimitri. Dimitri. Yorgos. Stavros. Stamatis. Who killed Perseus. I knew that. Fuck. Perseus? That's fucking. What's his name from Troy? Brad Pitt. Isn't it? Brad Pitt. Bro, that's not. Is it?

Who's Brad Pitt? Oh no, he's Achilles. You told me Brad Pitt got real! He's Achilles! Yeah, he's Achilles. Because of the Achilles heel. But the other guy was Perseus. He was shot with an arrow. The other guy was Perseus. Perseus was the bitch. Perseus was the other dude. The other dude who was like a bitch. Who was that? Who? Braceus. Nope, that's not right. Braceus? Briceus? Braceus?

Rose Byrne was Perseus? No? I don't know. That's Briseys. Yeah. Was there just no Perseus and Troy? Probably not. Just go to the IMDB, look up the movie Troy. I mean, the cast is right there. No, it isn't. Well, whatever. Amy Louie Wilson? Hold on. While you're looking that up, we do have some sponsors for today. Good call. The first one, How You Doing? We have, and I don't have it up.

How's it going everyone? I'm just- I can talk, I can talk. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, Achilles is back, bitch. Paris is Orlando Bloom. Whoa, there it is. We got it. There's no Percy. We called the kid Agamemnon growing up, remember that? We is crazy. You did it. No, we. Stop, stop doing this thing. It was you and Danny and it wasn't me. Read the ad. I'm gonna pee. Read the ad and then I'm gonna yell at you for that. Okay. Uh, we have-

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extra joe well maybe you'll get it at patreon.com slash the basement yard thank you guys for all your continued support whether you're a patron or not but listen we want to give you guys a little more extra bit of us so go to patreon.com slash the basement you join you sign up for that first here you get these weekly episodes one week in advance you get that second tier you get exclusive episodes every single friday monday friday you start and end your week with the basement yard

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So if you're coming to any of those shows, go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit. Okay, there's going to be some little question prompts. You submit a response if you feel so inclined. Let us know what show you're coming to. And a lot of the show, not a lot of the show, but a portion of the show, we like to talk with you guys, to you guys, about you guys, about whatever you guys put in those responses. So maybe we'll pick you. Maybe we'll talk to you about you, whatever. So go check it out, TheBasementYard.com slash submit. Let us know the show you're coming to. And there we go.

Back to me and pissed at you. What'd I do? You called him Agamemnon too. You called him Agamemnon. You called him Agamemnon. And you do this where you're just like, you did the thing. No, you did it too, you little bitch. I don't even know who we're talking about. It was that kid that told Dennis that he had a wide back at the gym. Oh, yeah, that's right. And we're like, crazy thing to say. I will say that this all, Danny started that.

He called the Maga Memnon first, probably, but we were all there when he told them he had a wide back. I did hear that, and I was like, that's a crazy way to describe somebody. That's a crazy way to describe anyone. But yeah, I didn't know. I knew that the Trojan War was from mythology, but I didn't know it was just like... I did not know that. I thought that was a real, well-documented thing. I mean, so there are documents and murals of it and shit like that, like...

Yeah, but we're talking about mythology now. I mean... Myth. Technically, every war is mythologized. Did you just make a word up? Mythologized. That's a real word. Is it? Yeah, of course it is. That's shocking. But, I mean, that's not true at all, by the way. Yeah, it is. Technically, all things are mythologized in one way or another.

Because at the time they just thought that there was a big guy shooting lightning bolts with a big white beard, that it was more fake than stuff now? Yeah. That's right. That's exactly it. Yeah, see, mythologize is a word. Yeah. Make the subject a myth. Yeah. Like...

Like what you did with your grinding. I mean, that's right. I did mythologize my grinding and it worked. Yeah. It did work. Also, I just watched this movie the other day, so we're gonna definitely get into it. The Substance. Did you watch that movie? Yes. Beck and I watched about three quarters of it and then we turned it off. Wait, hold on.

By the way, there's going to be spoilers. So if you're like, what the... I'm going to talk about the movie. Like, you can skip ahead. So it came out last year. Big Oscars push for it. Massive. Demi Moore, Margaret Qualley, both in the conversation. Demi.

Is it Demi? I believe it's Demi Moore. It's Demi, I think. Is it Demi Moore? Oh, I always heard it Demi. Demi Moore? Honestly, that's where I heard it. Demi? Can you look up the proper pronunciation? Is it Demi? It might be Demi Moore. I have no idea. Demi or Demi? Like, what is it? I think it's Demi.

Duh me. Yeah. Duh me. Wow, he's right. Wow, look at me. Wow. I'm right. You're the duh me. I'm right. That's all for this week's episode. But for those of you guys that don't know, I know Joe's going to spoil it. I'll give some background. Basically, I really want to know where you stopped watching.

Quitting before the end is bananas. Yeah. Becca was tired, and she's like, I'm going to fall asleep. And I was like, do you even want to keep watching this? And she's like, not really. And I was just like, it's just a little much for me. But Demi Moore's character is like Elizabeth Sparkle. And she is like an aging actress in Hollywood. And in order to, I guess, reenter the spotlight, she takes this substance that...

Things happen. And I don't... You know, like... I mean, I'm perfectly fine with saying what happened. I'm not gonna give, like, details of everything, but here's a detail. It's a fucking shot that you have to give yourself, and then your back splits open. Yeah. And a person crawls out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And... I mean...

These pictures are crazy. Yeah, I mean, it's... A lot of people said that they couldn't watch it because of the gore, but I think a big part of why they couldn't watch it was the whole needles of it all. There's a lot of needles. Frank, I'm telling you right now, the worst part about this movie, for me, it wasn't the needle per se. It is the giant...

pus pimple on this woman's spine. Yeah. It gets progressively worse throughout the entire movie and there's a needle like this big that goes in it and I'm like, I cannot watch if they go back to this pimple again. I just, I can't. You gotta be, see, the movie, so here's the thing. Why I stopped watching it. Where did you stop watching it? I don't remember honestly what part I stopped watching it at. Did you see that? I don't remember. Did you see that? Why did you have to do that? Back up! This kid's googling pimples.

Do you see that over there? I don't think I saw that over there. Well, they, you know, that's Demi. I know who that is. I know. Yeah. Why did I go Christopher Walken there? I know. It's Demi. Who is? It's Demi. More or less. By the way, a story is finest. I know. You like that fucking impression. I ate at his deli, by the way. You ate at his deli? Yeah. Christopher Walken? Yeah, he had a deli, the Walken Delery. Delery. The Walken Deli on like 30th and... Was he in there?

I don't think he was there when I went. Was it like him or like his family? His family's deli. His family owns a deli. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was 2009 when I went, so forgive me. But... There you go. I mean... So much. The messaging is not subtle. Yeah, I get the messaging. Like, that's the thing. I think people when... Because I'm not saying I disliked the movie. I just felt like it was just a little too cartoony for me. Like, it freaked me out, but I get that's the point of it. I also get that I'm not the fucking...

audience for it. The messaging is very clearly around what Hollywood and entertainment forces women to have to do in order to be relevant. But it was like the way it was shot and the close-ups on some people. There's one scene in particular where Dennis Quaid's character has a bunch of people around him and he's talking in the camera. And it was just like

Yeah, back up. You know what I mean? Yeah. But... I'm sure that guy exists by the thousands. Well, I'm sure that the real version of him is way worse than that movie version. That guy was such a piece of shit. He was such a dumpster bug. One of the worst parts of that movie for me was in the beginning when he's at a meeting and he's just eating shrimp. Yeah. And he was just dipping it. It was like, this is fucking gross. And again, I get it. I get it. It was just like...

Do you think, honestly, because this movie's getting a lot of Oscar buzz, do you see why? Because I think that the most grounded part of it was Demi Moore's character. And, like, I could see why she deserved the Oscar. I thought she was phenomenal in it. Yeah, Best Picture it's nominated for. Holy shit. Best Actress in a Leading Role. It won the Palme d'Or last year at Cannes, which is, like, their best movie. It's, yeah, for the top three, essentially. Right? Best Picture, Best Actress.

Yeah. And she won best actress. She was amazing. And bro, by the way,

She's fucking 62 years old and looks insanely good. Yeah. And she's just naked the whole time. Well, I think I... So, anytime I watch a movie, I go on IMDb and I read the trivia. It might not be real, but I think I read that her and the other actress in the movie used body doubles. Oh. Well, yeah, I'm sure they did. But... Unbelievable, though. I'm not going to sit here and... Bro, insane. Like, it was a crazy movie. But again...

Spoiler alert. Here's your spoiler. You want to know how it ends? I think I kind of know. She turns into like a big, like goopy doopy monster, right? That's a good way of putting it. Have you seen the movie? No.

Ants going home and watching this tonight. If you... So when you do the substance, like you put the substance in your body, this other hotter, younger version of you pops out. Literally crawls out of your back. And she had to get her back stitched. Which the fucking younger one did it in a bathroom. And it's like a week.

That, like, you're the younger version, you're the other version. You're the younger version, you're the older version. And, like, they just are, like, asleep in a bathroom for that week. So, yeah, the younger one, they, like, hook you up to an IV so you, like, get fed. But, like, the younger one starts booking gigs. And is like, all right, I'm just going to do an extra day. So, like, takes a little bit more fluid. Because you need, like, this fluid from your fucking spine or something. So, takes a little more fluid. And then that makes the older character...

get really fucking old and like her finger just gets old and crusty like a dragon's hand right and then and then so then that's what happens and she's like what the fuck my finger has a dragon foot and then she's like

And then she's calling a number and the guy's like, you got, I don't know. You guys got to figure it out. They were no help on the other end, by the way, the entire movie. Oh, the shady people in the back alley that give her this thing only called the substance or no help. Shocker. They're not helpful, bad customer service. But then, so then they started getting into a battle and like, then the younger one is like, yo, fuck this. Like I need to have like weeks at a time. So it takes mad fluid. So when she's taking all that fluid,

It ages the fuck out of Demi Moore. And then when she finally gets awake, because she runs out of the spinal fluid, she finally becomes awake. And she looks in the mirror and it looks like the hunchback of Notre Dame. Yeah. And like her no hair, all fucked up, blah, blah, blah. And she's just like all fucked. Right? And old and like hunch. And then there's all this shit. Then...

The young one starts beating the shit out of her. You're just really spoiling everything. Yeah. I said, I said. Beating the fuck out of her. Right? Disgusting beat up. And then fucking...

I don't even know if she's alive or dead. I can't remember. But then at one point, they wake up and they're one. There's teeth and a face on the shoulder. And then they put on a dress and they try to look nice for a New Year's Eve show. And then she melts. On her walk of fame. She's just a face and a pool of blood and muscle. And then that's it. Man. Cinema. Cinema.

If anyone needs me to describe more movies, I'll be here, by the way. We should do an episode where we get you hammered and ask you to just describe weird movies. Bro, that movie was so weird. I was like, what am I watching? And then I was like, now, now, like, I get the messaging. The messaging is not lost on me. But the rest of it is like, how did this even get greenlit to do this? Well, if I were to tell you that it was made by a French director, would you believe me?

Nothing about the movie stood out as French to me. Man, pretty French if you ask me. I don't know. I've never seen another French movie. Honestly, it might not even be a French director. I think it is though. Yeah, it was just like – it was so – I don't know. I've seen people talk about it and they're just like, it's the best movie of last year. And it's like – it seems like a bit of a stretch to me personally. But I get it. You don't know all the other movies that came out? Oh, you still haven't seen Wicked, which is bananas. Well –

Was that? I guess that was last year. Yeah, this was last year. There was, but like. Yeah. It was interesting. Yeah. Would you take the substance? No. What would the younger version of you be? I know mine would be. What would it be? Well, my older version would be me looking as I do now. My younger version would obviously be Zayn Malik. Okay.

No? We've never seen Frank and Zayn Malik in the same room, so it could be true. That's all I'm going to say. Check his spine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Check my spine. You never know. Yeah. Ugh. Oh.

I heard that a lot of people had to leave the theater because the needle stuff was really, really bad. The needle stuff was pretty intense. It was the pimple for me, though. It was the pimple for me. I was like, oh my god. The pimple wasn't the worst part. I feel like the needles was the worst. And Dennis Quaid. Yeah, fuck him. What? When did you turn it off? I don't remember. See, how does he turn it off before all that? To his defense...

It's like a 30-minute block where it's like just all this shit is happening. I'm like, how do you even know what just happened? Like I said, bro, watching TV with Becca is a coin flip because she's either all in and then she'll literally – we'll literally be watching something and I know just from the sound of her breathing like she's falling asleep because she'll just turn over to me and I'll just be like, I'll turn it off now in the middle of this fucking incredible episode. Like a long breath. It's like –

And you're like, well, that's it. I know. And like, I know. And she tried once. She tried once. Listen, she's a mom, a fucking stay-at-home mom. She has a very hard job and it's exhausting. I get that. She tried once and she was just like, well, when we watch TV, I'm laying down. So my eyes are already closed. And I was like, nice try. What does it have to do with a stay-at-home mom?

Well, she's exhausted at the end of each fucking day. Oh, but she's trying to make it. It's like, yeah, you're not a cabbage patch doll. You like turn them sideways and their eyes close. Yeah. That's funny. Oh, you know what you should do? You can get her one of those, a pair of glasses. That's like, you can just lay it like this, but it's like. Oh, no. Well, I mounted our TV on the wall now. So it's not like, it was previously sitting on our dresser. Oh. And I mounted it on the wall. So now it's higher up. You were about to say you mounted it on the wall. No, it'd be cool. Can you imagine?

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Basement. Okay? There you go, folks. You got saved by the ads because I was ready to yell at you for something, but I don't remember what. You're doing your anime face. No, don't do that. Don't do that to me. What? That's what you do. And you do this thing. I was just like, I don't do... Stop! You know, these people probably think that I'm a monster.

Because I say you did an anime face? No, because you just make up stuff about me on this episode. Frank, you made up that you retired from grinding. I made up that at the time... You mythologi... What was it? Mythologized. Mythologized. Genius. Not genius. I mean, it worked. It was business Frank. That's what we get. That's why business Frank...

That's economy 401, dude. Now we're up to 401. No, just like recognizing that at the time I was a young entrepreneur and- With grinding. I mean, today's grinding is tomorrow's Bitcoin. You know what I'm saying? Like these all- Do you have Bitcoin? No, no, no, no. No Bitcoin? None whatever. None whatsoever? None whatever. Okay. You have no crypto? No. Because-

Because you just like, I'm not. I just don't have any. I mean, do you? Yeah, of course. Of course. Yeah. I don't have like a. You do? I mean, you should definitely diversify a little bit. Yeah. I mean, maybe I do. I just don't know. I'll probably have to ask my finance guy. He's not going to buy crypto for you. I don't know. I mean, I probably. Those are personal purchases. I'll be honest. I'm a little upset I didn't get into Bitcoin when it launched at a dollar a coin. That would have been so crazy. I would have.

If you had told me what it would have become, every penny. Doesn't work like that, obviously. I know. How many times have you ever thought about that where it's just like, if you can go back and make any investments, what would you invest in? Yeah. I mean, obviously, the big three. Apple, Google, Amazon, right? People are like, I would have invented blah, blah, blah. I'm like, bro. I love when people bring that up because...

I can go back in time and show them an iPhone, but that's pointless because they'd just be like, this is still magic. This is nonsense. Magic. This is still nonsense. I don't think I would go back that far. When? Like, realistically, have you ever thought? Within my timeline. What have you thought? What am I saying? Like, you're Loki? Like, I wouldn't go back to, like, the 20s. Like, what am I doing here? Would you ever, like, have you ever thought, like, I would go back and invent this and be a billionaire? No.

No, the only thing that I think is like a smart thing to say is like you can invest in stuff. So like the day I heard about fucking like Apple, Tesla, Google, Amazon, I'd be like, we have this new company that's coming out. It's called Google. You know what I would do? I would Google Jeff Bezos's address. And just go make be buds with him. And just like walk by his garage all the time. Be like, oh, dude, I love the bookstore that you're making. Whatever the fuck.

I would love to work here. This is really dense and crazy, like the Amazon jungle, and see what happens, you know? What do you, what was that? Just like drop hints. About Amazon? Oh, I would go while he was building it in like the first few days. And be like, you know what? I really love books, and I think like we can sell these online. You'd walk by like the garage in San Francisco where they came up with Apple?

Yeah. That'd be a cool one. Didn't they like buy computers from like IBM and then they just like created their own thing or something like that? I don't know, possibly, but I know that like Apple was in big time, big time fat trouble at one point in time. For what? I think not for like being bad people. Maybe. I don't know. Oh, documented. Yeah. Documented. But like they like had no money. They like were almost bankrupt. And then Steve Jobs had to come back because he like left the company. And I think that at that time he invested in Pixar of all people.

Oh. Yeah. I mean, that was... We got Toy Story because of Steve Jobs. That's cool. Yeah. I love Pixar. Nothing gets me more hyped than that fucking lamp jumping on that eye. I fucking love it. You know, and it looks at the... You know what I'm talking about. I know exactly what you're talking about. There are some new Pixar hits that you haven't watched that you are flat out missing out on. Really? Am I going to cry?

Some of them might get you a little bit, but maybe not as much. The Pixar movies, just that type of animation in general, like could get me to cry. I watched the one, the first one with that old guy playing chess. That one would make me cry. That was a, that was like before a bug's life. Yeah. Yes. Holy shit. I'm very good at this. I'm very good at this memory. I watched that and it's like, he's playing himself, right?

No, I think another spoiler. I think no, he's like playing chess. You're spoiling a 25 year old Pixar short. I'm pretty sure people are more okay with that three minutes and the movie that's up for best picture this year. Yeah. Um, I, I, yeah, I watched that and I was like, that's so sad. Like an old guy playing. I think it's like, he starts off, he thinks he's playing with someone and it shows you like someone else. But then as time goes on, you see, he's just playing by himself. Makes me upset, dude. What makes you more upset? Old people.

Like, not like mad, but like when like, like up, like what makes you cry harder up or something like toy story? I never cried in toys. Oh, that's not true. I cried at toy story when he gave all the things away. Three, the toys away. I was like,

You fucking idiot. Now you get it. Yeah. Now you get it, Joey. Yeah. I mean, it's because there was a movie that I just watched. I gave away all my... I didn't give... I literally put them in the garbage and probably threw spaghetti on top of my toys. No. Mine were ripped from my fucking hands by my mother.

I can picture you like, no, no, no, no, no. She didn't do it like that. But we did like one day they were just gone and like not realize it because we were just like out playing football or something. Dude, I honestly, now that I think about it, I can't remember like how that, how they, how your toys go away.

I'm sure my mom donated them knowing my mom. Yeah, but like I didn't even know. You know, like I can't remember with my like thinking like where are my toys? And I'm being like I gave them away or like I threw them out. Like I don't remember that ever. Yeah, I don't until I asked. It was the day I saw Toy Story 3. I called my mom as soon as I walked out of the theater. I was like, hey, Frankie. What? Look up the year Toy Story 3 came out. 2010. 2010.

Was it 2010? Yes, and I'll tell you why this was such a pivotal moment. Don't look it up because I know the answer. It was because I saw it right before I was getting ready to go to college. Just like Andy. Just there. So that's the story. That's why it hit so hard for me because Andy was getting ready to go to college and grow up and he had to give his toys away. And it hurt. So you called your mom when you got out of the theater and you're like, where's my toys? And she's like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. Yeah.

Basically, I was like, hey, what happened? Ma, hey, just saw a toy store. Yeah, it was cool. What happened? Like, where are my toys? Oh, they're long gone, Frankie. What? I wouldn't have even dignified it with a response. You're 18. I was 17 at the time when it came out. Well, whatever. Still a child. And you were just like, yo, where is Polly Pocket?

He's giggling. It's real funny over there, huh? Real fucking funny, Ant. I loved Polly Pocket. I loved Polly Pocket too, but I was more of a Mighty Max kid because if I was young... I don't even know what that is. It was the boy...

Joey Mighty Max. It was a boy version? It was a boy version of Polly Pocket because if I was seen as a young boy playing with Polly Pocket, people pointed me and said gay. Well, I was playing with the Polly Pocket. I used to put the Polly Pocket in my pocket. You put Polly Pocket in your pocket at the Polly Pocket Inception? I would put the Polly Pocket in my pocket and I would walk around with it. And then I would pop it open and I'd be like, look at this. There's a little world in here. Do me a favor. You know this. Look up Mighty Max Castle Doom.

You know this shit. Ricardo had it. We'd go play with it at his house. What the fuck is this? Yeah, there it is! No, you brought this up to me before. I never had this. Oh, well, um... $230! Yeah, and that might not even be... Is it complete? Near complete. Joey, if you're looking for any birthday gifts for good old Frankie... Your birthday is in six months. So... It's in five, but who's counting?

Oh, look at those sets. You do every year. Look at those sets. Oh, my God. Have we ever brought... Shut up. All right. Thank you for coming to Benjamin Yard. Thank you for coming. Frankie started this thing, and I don't know when, but he does it every single year. I don't do it anymore. His birthday is July 30th, and on the 1st of July, he would start a countdown. But the countdown would start... How would you do it? Like...

30,000 it would be. Or like 3,000. And then it would be 2,900, 2,800. And then it would be up until his birthday. But it would be a countdown. So he would post like on MySpace or on Facebook, all his statuses. He would do a countdown every single day. But why would you put like 2,900 when there was 29 days left? So I'm pretty sure the first year I did it was 2008. And...

I love that you're pretty sure. We know. And then you did it every year after that. Well, one of my favorite musical acts is Andre 3000. Andre 3K. So you were Frank K? So my space name at the time, I changed it to Frank 3000. And it just so happened to be on June 30th when there was exactly 30 days until my birthday. So then I was like, wait a sec.

2900 Frank with 2900 was the next day and just to piss off Joey to this day I'll text him on random days before my birthday and to be like 1800 1300 I don't care Yeah, it happens He would count down his birthday bro like he's the queen I

That was bananas. First of all, fuck you. Second of all, who the fuck are you? How did I get first fuck? How is fucking King Disney over here? When's your birthday? January 16th. We missed that. No, we didn't. We said happy birthday to him. I'm saying, yeah, we did. January 16th? Here we go. Don't make a joke. I'm not.

What's your sign? 10 days after Joe's favorite holiday. I knew you were going to make a joke. It was a funny joke. Capricorn. Oh, the fact that you had that teed up because you know so much. Is that a horse? It's a seashell. Sea goat? Sea goat. Sea goat? Yeah. What's a sea goat? It's a goat with a mermaid's tail. Yeah, something like that.

More mythology. That's what all that shit is. What does it mean? What kind of guy are you? It means like you're going to be horniest on this moon and like you're fucking, you're shy until you break out of your shell. What are you, Leo? Yeah. That's cool. That's cool, man. Yeah, what are you? Something stupid like a- You know what I am. You know me. You know what I am. Libra. Capricorn. Frank. Pisces. Yes. Okay. What is Capricorn? What does it mean? Just cool guy.

Yeah. Wrong! Look it up! Wrong! Let's find out what kind of guy you are. What does Capricorn mean? Cool guy. Fucking dweeb. Sorry. Capricorn. Oh, I thought it said termined. I was like, what's termined? The Latin word for horned goat or goat horn? This kid is horny. I told you, this horny bastard over there. Oh, he's determined, disciplined, and ambitious. I don't know about... To drink as much twisted meat as possible?

He was just honest before. I pack a bag of bottles to bring to my hotel rooms. Disciplined. He's determined to fucking chase alcoholism. I want to see what else they have here. We'll see what kind of guy you are. You're getting into, Joey, you're getting into a workaholism. Just take, yeah, well. Seriousness, definitely not.

No, he's so serious. I would say from the amount that I've gotten to know you, I would say you're pretty determined. Oh, there we go. Let's turn it around now. Relentless, determined to overcome obstacles. Look at this. Saturn is the ruling planet. Go to Leo. Let's find out who Frank is. Hold on. Hold on. Before you look anything up, I've had people when they'll be like, what's your sign? I'm like, Leo. They're like, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Let's find out what a Leo is.

Constantination. A name and a police term? Ooh. A police term. I don't know what the hell that means. Born under the sign of the Leo said to be strong. Law enforcement officer. Okay. Strong, charismatic, and hot, and brave. Frank, you're making things up, I think. Here we go. Confident. Yes. Passionate. You got it. Natural leaders. What the...

Where are you reading this? Look at this. Leos are known for being dedicated friends and lovers who put their hearts into every relationship. So true. I, I, I, I. Look at that. Barack Obama, Madonna, Daniel Radcliffe, Lawrence Fishburne, Jennifer Lopez, Helen Mirren, Jennifer Lopez, Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, Neil Armstrong.

fiercely loyal you damn fucking right bitch yeah dude I'll fucking oh this all sounds like great stuff leos are often described as having a regal air and a commanding roar hell yeah show us your roar what a commanding roar I feel so commanded right now do you feel commanded? no if you want a real roar uh yeah you want a real roar? yeah give me a real roar alright hold on let me take these off

Yeah, yeah, we can roar. Well, don't make me laugh! Oh, what am I do- You want a real roar? You can't- you can't roar either. I- I'm just a little Pisces fish! You are, you're a little fish, you're swimming like a little bitch. Show me your roar. Don't look up at me! Okay, okay. Alright, no, I need to get in the moment. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Come on, guys! Find your inner lion. I'm trying to find my inner lion so I can command this roar. Okay? Yeah.

Are we gonna roar directly into the mic? Is that a bad idea? Yeah, why not? *whistling* Did I try to get you? You only get one shot at it. One more! One more. You want more? I'll give you one more roar and that's it. Alright, alright, alright. Send us off with one more good roar. Oh no, we're getting going. Yeah. Yo, you- You were like this. I need to- What is this show? I don't know! My head hurts! This is wet with tears, dude. Oh no.

Why are you crawling? You're freaking crawling. I'm gonna watch that a thousand times dude. Immediately putting up that footage. Why did you do that? Oh my god. You're so easy to get. Don't punch it. Oh fuck man. Can you roar? Can you roar? Come on. Just call him up. Let him know. Oh god. You're

So stupid! Oh my god dude! I wish you could even see what I saw! This is gonna... This is gonna... Oh god. Oh my god dude. Yeah. So stupid. Yeah. Well, I think that's it. Yeah. Thanks for coming. And uh... Oh lord. The last thing is... We've just been laughing...

He's going to get them. He's to gag. It's crazy how easy you gag. It's insane how easy it is to get you gagged. Oh, God. Hey, thanks. Thanks for... Check out The Basement Yard everywhere. If you're coming to the Europe shows, go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit. I have a laugh headache. Yeah. And go check us out everywhere at The Basement Yard everywhere. And that is all. We'll see you guys next time. Bye.