#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
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Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the basement yard. How's it going, Francis? Doing well. Ah, Coe. Francis Coe. Don't, don't do, don't, don't do that. I don't like that. I'm very, I like my name, so I want you to make sure it's fucking proper. Francisco? Yeah. Does anyone call you that? I don't think anyone calls you that. Oh!

No, my mom, like, you know, the typical, like, when my mom was mad at me. She would say Francisco? She'd be like, Francisco! I think I've heard your mom call you that. My mom also called me Cisco for a while, which, you know, in 1999, I was pumped. Yeah, because you loved the thong song. Hold on.

You loved the thong song. Don't say that pointing fingers. The world loved the thong song. I didn't know what a thong was at that time, so I just liked it because it was a catchy tune. Frank, we knew what a thong was. You think in second grade we knew what a thong was?

Was that second grade? Yeah, 1999, the Thong Song. Probably. I don't think I knew what a thong was. Bro, we knew Lita. And we knew Lita had her thong hanging out of her jeans. Well, Lita wasn't really popular until like 2001, Joey. At the time in 1999, if she was even there, she was with S.A. Rio. So it was who she broke into the WWE, WWF at the time with. Right. And then she joined in with the Hardy Boys. Did I tell you? I didn't tell you, but I recently watched...

The TLC match from WrestleMania 17. And it's still great. And Lita pops out. I totally forgot that she shows up. Oh, yeah, Lita. And I was like, look at her. She's got her thong out. Oh, yeah. Bro, that's all it took. Just a little piece of underwear. But the thong song, it's an American staple.

Yes. You know, he was in... Sisko blew up. He was in movies. Remember, there were other songs on that album, too. I don't remember that. Y'all people gonna make me unleash the dragon. Y'all know I don't really wanna unleash the dragon. He loved dragons, Sisko. I think that he liked Sisko more than a lot of people. No, that was like the only two good songs on that album that I remember. Whoa, sorry, Sisko. I mean, oh...

Yeah, he might be watching. Is Cisco still around? Of course he's around. Is his hair still silver? It's not. Can we look up a... I think it's blonde. I love how we're looking at the TV as if Anne thinks we're not asking him subtly. Anytime Frankie has a question or says anything or goes like this...

He's asking you to write it. I know, but also, it's only like when we're looking up stuff. Like, I just want to see a recent image of Cisco. Yeah, Cisco Systems, by the way, Wi-Fi, you fucking ruined an American staple. Hip-hop artist, Cisco. Have you never heard of Cisco? I'm having trouble. You've never heard of the thong song? I've heard of that. I didn't know who sang it. You didn't know? So, who do you think sang it? God? No, also not that. How'd you get there? I don't know.

Hip-hop Cisco you spent Cisco like an idiot first of all also. That's not Cisco Yeah, who the fuck is this is that clay Thompson in the first picture? I don't know who that is type in that's love and hip-hop sisqo right think so yeah I think there's a queue in there. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, Cisco could give me a thousand tries well Is that actually wait if that's actually Cisco what? Type in thong song Cisco 20 25 go bro if that's Cisco today. Why are you typing it?

There he is. That's Cisco, bro. That's Cisco. That was like a Hispanic, man, it looked like. That was a, yeah. I think that's Francisco. Cisco Thong Song, but type in 2025. Cisco like that, 2025. Cisco Thong Song 2025. Do we have, what is happening? Never gonna find it. Oh, that's a. Maybe he's off the map. Oh, there he is. This is 2025. Wait, teams up with the New York Philharmonic? He did not.

That can't be real. That can't be real. I don't even know. What is that? The Philharmonic? It's like a group of like... Harmonica? No, but they're like legit musicians. Like you've never heard of like the Philharmonic. Whoa, dude. You ever hear Cisco hit those notes? He's a legit musician. I know. That's a great song. Is that Maya?

Is that Cisco? Frank, this is also an audio show. I think we should ditch the Cisco. All right. All right. All right. I mean, wherever Cisco may be, I hope in a good place, he's doing well. And I hope he is surrounded by donk donk donk donks. Right. You know,

You loved that, though. Who didn't? Don't sleep on Cisco. I'm not sleeping on Cisco. Don't sleep on Cisco. No, I'm saying, like, everyone liked the thong song. It was a very popular song. I feel like you liked it a little bit more. Like, you were like, yo, I love thongs. Well, I think I felt cool because I watched the, like, making. Remember when MTV was about music and it used to do, like, the making of the video? Mm-hmm. And it was just, like, a 25-minute video of. Women in thongs. Of, like, we're making something groundbreaking here. And it's, like, Cisco playing, like.

The drums on a butt on the beach. Yeah. What's better than that? And then at the end, they'd be like, the worldwide debut of the thong song video. And that shit came out and rocked my world as a little seven-year-old. Let me tell you. Wow. Wow. I can't believe we were seven years old that came out. I felt like I was older. Maybe because you were like reading Playboys at that age. I wasn't reading Playboys at seven, was I? There was the one in like that alleyway behind your house.

I was seven? I'm pretty sure we were seven years old when we were looking at that. First of all, no one's reading that. I was looking and analyzing. Okay, I just wanted to see a boob. Then you probably did at that time. Weird, the things that you do, you know? That was a weird time. And then we've obviously told these stories before, but for people who don't know, new viewers or whatever the case may be, there was a Playboy stuffed into the crack of an

old garage at the top of my block that I would go and I don't know how it got there. I think my neighbor put it there, but we would go and be like, oh, and then we'd look at boobs and we'd shove it back into the crack. We were very, we didn't want to take it. It was a communal playboy. It literally, anyone else wanted to go and get their, there was an urban legend. Oh, there's a playboy in the crack of the old garage at the top of the block and you can go get it.

Like, it was like being able to play with fossils of dinosaurs. And then around the block, there was a, the pay phone that I would call 1-800, like, boobs piss. Boobs piss. And then they would be like, Too many numbers, but you know what I meant to, you know. But it'd be like, oh, welcome to 1-800 boobs. And you just heard, like, a woman saying something sexy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. We called one of those once on an episode where it was like 1-800, like, shit butt. Frank, we called a hundred of them. Oh, have we? Yeah. And it's just like, oh, you wanna fucking do it? Give me your credit card.

I was like, whoa, dude. 1-800-PISS-GIRL. That's how people in the 80s and early 90s used to get off. Phone sex? It was like they had like chat rooms for fucking phone calls. I'm sure that still exists. Is it like a big industry, like a phone sex operator? I don't know. Bro, you used to spend a million hours a night with your girlfriends on the phone. You get it.

We weren't doing fucking like we weren't talking I was talking about like oh man my fucking this chapter Catcher in the Rye really sucks You think we were going you think we were doing like oh so like what are you wearing and I'd be like Frank Scooby-Doo boxers Frank I know that you've done No I will tell you that like when I yeah when I got older Yeah But like when I was like at that age where it would be like we stay on the phone all night it was not that it was just like let's just sleep and keep the phone there Oh

I don't know. I think you're lying. Why would I have to lie about that? I don't know. When did you get a cell phone? I was at least 15 when I got a cell phone. I can tell you when that whole stay up all night on the phone thing was. It was after I'd had the phone for a couple years at that point. Phone sex.

Phone sex. No, if we did, I'm being very honest. You've never sex on the phone with words? Of course I have. Of course I have. That's all I'm saying. But I'm saying at the time, that's not what the, it was just for like comfort. I agree. I'm just like, you want to, you know, I just want to know someone's there on the phone. And like, if I roll over and it's like, you can hear someone is, you know, they're there. Breathing and snoring and stuff. And is looking at us like we're psychotic right now. You've never stayed up all night on the phone with your girlfriend? No, I have. I have. I just don't believe he didn't ask for like a kiss or something. Oh,

Of course. I'd be like, give me a good night kiss. Yeah. And then he begged. That's not a good one. Give me another one. Something like that. Or dial three if you like me or some shit. I don't. I mean, it's honestly, it's not impossible, but I don't think that you.

You, did you, I know I'm acting like you're 11, but like, did you do that thing ever where you have your boy call another girl, but on a three-way, but you're quiet to find out if she likes you? No. Bro, three-way call, he's 24 years old. You think they were doing that at that time? Three-way calls is like- How old are you? 28. 24, exactly. Yeah, you're right. It's too far away. There are the good old days of being able to just like go up the block and look at a porno in a cracked garage. Back in the day.

As a child, I probably shouldn't label it that way, but like the atrocities of the world were so out of our mindset. We didn't, you know, had a sight out of mind. We didn't care about that. That was like all the way in Manhattan. All the way across the river. Yeah. But in Queens. But in Queens, all we cared about, baby.

Just a... Is the souvlaki guy in the corner? Because I'm hungry. Hell yeah. Is Babalu who drives the ice cream truck coming around because I want some ice cream. Babalu and also got in trouble for cocaine, but we don't talk about that stuff. Did he? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, I mean, listen, I don't know what was in that great white shark popsicle, but it was delicious. So I'll take a hundred of them. Yeah. No?

That sounded like a little crazy, right? Because you always talk about how we went into the ice cream truck. Yeah. And then you were like, yo, I don't know what was in that great white popsicle, but I had 100. Chill. I mean, everyone remembers great white shark popsicles. Those were whack. You like the wackest stuff. They were delicious. They were lemon.

You were- you were- they were actually. They were lemon. Those are much better than the- the- the Ninja Turtle ones that you love so- Fuck you! Oh no, the Tweety Bird. Also fuck you! Wait, which one's grey? Bugs Bunny! Delicious! I still get it! No, that one's the wackest one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. They're all the same flavor, I think. The people that hate the episodes where we're screaming are a little upset at us right now. Fuck yeah. Yeah, fuck you guys. We're talking about ice cream here. We love you. No, I- I- the- the Ninja Turtles, they've butchered my boys. Old Ninja Turtles were huge.

Can someone explain how hard it could possibly be to put the gumball eyes in the right place? It's not because a person is doing it. It's a machine. I know, but we don't care anymore? I think, yeah, probably. I think that they probably don't care anymore. I hate when I open it up and it's like, oh, we got an eye here and an eye here. What is this? I mean, honestly, I am fully on board with just replacing those gumballs. They're not gum. I don't know what they are. It's dust. So just take them out entirely and just put...

Something in there, you know, a blueberry flavored eyeball or something. Yeah, yeah. Or like the eyes in a rabbit, a chocolate bunny. Those eyes are good. Oh, I thought you meant. No, not an actual rabbit. Thank God you went chocolate bunny. Question though. No. Do you remember back in the day where it was like your key chain, it was good luck to have a rabbit's foot? Yeah. That wasn't a rabbit's foot, right? I think it might've been, brother. A real rabbit's foot? I think it might've been.

And also, why is that good luck? That was so popular. I had one that was red. Yeah, I had one too. Well, yours was probably fake because rabbits are not red. I remember... They could die. Well, I mean, maybe. I mean, Frank, I don't think anyone has... Due to a superstition that originated from folklore, with some theory suggesting it might be linked to Hand of Glory, a severed hand of a hanged criminal, which was believed to bring luck in European tradition. So this is what we were walking around with on our keys? Yeah. Yeah.

Type in a rabbit's foot keychain. We had these back in the day. And it was like a cool thing to have in your keychain. And my sister had a bunch. Yeah. It looked like that. Yeah. That was hanging off my keys. Where were they just? Oh, man. But they weren't real. They were like plastic. Some of them look like they might have been. The conviction. No, no, no. Some of them look like they were real. Maybe. I don't know. Possibly. Possibly.

But yeah, see, I had like a red one or a pink one. I had one of those. I had one of those too. Or I mean, at some point, I don't remember exactly what. I think I won one at a fair. Yeah. Listen, the amount of stuff that I had from fairs, they were giving out goldfish, rabbit's feet, Xboxes. They gave out a... It was a lot. When the carnival or the fair or festival, whatever you guys called it, feast someplace is called it, rolled into town. And that was a lawless...

of the community at that point in time. My mom hated that because me and Keith would come home with some animal and she'd be like, what am I doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Came home with a hermit crab. That sucks, dude. Named it Miss Crab Tree and Keith wanted it to like run around and like open the thing and then it just ran away.

How fast could it have gotten away? Yo, honestly, now that I'm thinking about it, maybe my mom just fucking tossed it. It's like, oh, it ran away. I was going to say, these things, have you seen a hermit crab how fast they move? They're pretty slow, brother. Like I owned one. Okay, then you should know that it was probably bullshit from the start. Well, Mrs. Crabtree, Frank, I was a child. Top speed, four inches per second. That's what Joe measures in. First of all, that's very fast. Four inches per second? One, two, three.

Whoa, dude. Four inches is not... I think four inches is like... Probably, right? Something like that. Yeah. Yeah, no. Yeah, no. Your mom probably got rid of that thing and crushed it in the back alleyway or something. I didn't even tell you. I had a dream about you. Oh. Yeah. No, it wasn't bad either. Oh. You were just in it. Okay. Nothing crazy. Okay. We were in a car. That means you're thinking about me. I think so. Oh. Well... Let me tell the story. Okay. Okay.

But we were in a car and I was in the back seat. I don't remember if there was anyone driving, but you were sitting in the passenger seat. Okay. And then I was just going... I was trying to talk, but I couldn't. Oh, no. Like, it was like, I'm trying to talk. Oh, what were you trying to say? I was trying to get your attention so that you'd shake me and I'd wake up. Okay. So I was going...

I hate that part of the dream. But you wouldn't hear me. Oh, no. Because eventually I'd get it out, but it would be so low. So then the next time I'd try to yell, but it would be like, break. No, no. You'd never fuck me up. Now, if I am a dream expert. Are you? Right now, it sounds like it. I bet. I think this sounds like there might be something that you want to talk to me about, but you may not feel. What's up?

Oh, that I don't know. But that sounds like a good explanation. Has there been something on your mind? You want to air it? We'll air it out right here in front of just me and you and whoever's watching. Yeah. What is it? I don't know. I hate that when it's just like, or like the one it's like you throw a punch and it's like, bro, I hate that. Or like you eventually throw it and it's like, oh, this is so, it's not going to hurt anybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like the worst feeling in the world to have that. Well, if you want to talk to me, brother, I'm all ears. I don't really have it. I think I got it all out in the dream. Oh, you got nothing out? Right. Okay. Speaking of dreams, I saw this thing, and by I, I mean Ant. And it's a collection of 24 different... By the way, I couldn't even have told you 24 different ways to sleep. Yeah, I didn't. And, I mean, I think we know what yours is, Joey. Joey's sleeping in 10.

I do not sleep that way. There's almost no doubt in my mind. Can I guess how you sleep and you guess how I sleep? All right. Okay. I'm going to guess that you sleep. I already see mine, and I know you're not going to get it. I think this one's a thumb up. I would say 22. That's how you sleep. No. No. Honestly. No? Close. I'm a 21. Definitely a 21. What? It looks like you're in the middle of throwing a curveball. I know.

I literally was like, you're winding up. Fucking El Duque. Yeah. You have to throw something. No, no, no. That's what I do. I bring my leg all the way, one leg all the way up, one down. I like to stretch it out so there's like a real difference between my legs. I like that too. And then I pull one arm under the pillow and I bring it close to me and the other one stays like right here or right here or right here. You know, something in this area. Gotcha. Gotcha.

Who in God's name is 10, if not you? I don't know. That is like a crazy way to sleep. I think, because I've watched you sleep a lot lately, I would say that you're probably... I'm kidding. I would say, knowing you, you're probably... I don't hate...

I don't hate it. I three. Not all the time, but I've done three. I see a three. I see a three. I also see a 17. I was going to say 17. I told you. I told you. The only thing is. 10 is like you've been through and seen some stuff. 17 I do, but I think mostly I'm like a two. Oh.

Two is pretty standard. I would imagine. What's your fall asleep side? Because everyone has one side that they fall asleep. I sleep on my right side. Okay. Or on my back. Oh, no. I always wake up on my back. So like 13? What is wrong with you? No, I don't wake up with my hands on my side. But I'll tell you this. When I go on trips and I usually share a room with Espo, he fucking sleeps like that. Like he's in a coffin. Yeah, he does. And he doesn't move. And he's like, I think I'll go to sleep now. Yeah, he always does.

And I'm up. I don't know who sleeps like five except for toddlers. That looks like you got shot in the head. When you sleep, do you have an arm underneath the pillow? Yes. At all times? Yeah. Doesn't your arm fall asleep? No. Your arm never falls asleep? Sometimes it does, but not always. How do you get the blood back in your arm if it falls asleep? You just shake it? I shake it and I watch, I look at it.

You can look at it. Bro, looking at your hand when it's asleep, my brain is just like, I know it's my hand, but I can't feel that it's there. So whose hand is this? Do you like it? I love it. A little bit. When my arm's asleep, I hang it off of the bed so that it's like, I can feel the blood just like, but then you can feel it.

It's like lubing up. Like coming back to life. Jesus, you're horny. No, it's like filling up my arm. And I was like, oh, and now I can move it. And now you can, what, throw an old-timey punch? What the hell was that? No, I'm just like getting the whole movement back. I could sock it to you right now. It is weird to feel like I can't make a fist. I love whenever, seriously, like whenever my hand falls asleep, I look at it and I'm just like, what is this? You know what I mean? Like I know it's my hand, but I guess just the way that my brain works.

Just it can't compute that it's mine. You ever try to hurt yourself. I do I do not what I want I know you're talking about. I've had like my hands asleep, and I bite my hand. Oh, I just do a pinch I don't know I bite it. I'm not a rabbit animal. I do a little bite. I remember though. Would you be afraid? No, I remember when when we were kids We'd be at the lake house. He's bringing up Espo his brother He would I don't know how cuz oh I remember how he would always sit on

crisscross applesauce style and play video games and he would sit for so long that his one of his legs would fall asleep and i vividly remember this kid standing up and taking one of his legs and hitting the wall as hard as he could because his foot just had no feeling in it it was the craziest thing that is weird yeah it was pretty nuts but all right 10 b

What did you fall asleep doing? 16 is kind of crazy. Putting the pillow over your face. I have done that. I know. I have done that too. I do that only, but like it needs to be a pillow sandwich. It needs to be cold pillow sandwich. I need to be the meat in this pillow. Right. You know? I only do that if like it's very sunny in the room. I also... Do you sleep with a sleep mask? No. I might want to start doing that. Give it a shot. I mean, I'm sure there are companies out there that are going to see this and be like, we need Joe. We need him for sleeping. Would you do it?

Yeah, but like I don't feel a specific way about it. Do you wear pajamas? Pajamas? Sometimes. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't. What are your pajamas? It really depends. Like I have like pajama pants.

So you wear like Star Wars pants? See, you know, this is a way... I'm like, that's usually what pajama pants are. You're asking, this is a very leading presumptuous question. No, I'm asking. No, I don't have any Star Wars pajama pants. So what do they look like? I do have a pair of Ninja Turtles ones. I do have a pair of like... Why are you getting angry at me if this is what you... Because the way that you just assumed that I had them... Well, I asked you a question and you're like, it depends. So I'm trying to get you to answer me. I have like the classic pajama pants. It's like the plaid...

Plaid. You know, plaid. And then I have a pair from... White Family on Christmas. Is that what you're... Well, we have some of those around like Christmas and Halloween. We have like pajamas, like sets for the family. Do you have like a shirt that sums up? I don't sleep like a fucking, you know, like Archie Bunker. Yeah, yeah. You know, with like a button up, you know. I don't like... That's too much for me. But I have pajama pants. I also sleep... I don't know. Do you do this? How many pillows do you sleep with? And I'm not meaning like on your head. Two. Okay. How? How?

So they're stacked, but... This doesn't hurt your neck, brother? Yeah, so that's the thing. Well, if I'm sleeping on my back... Yeah, like not charade. They're kind of stacked that way. But then eventually, I just have like a... One of them is just by itself, and I'm laying on that when I wake up.

Okay, so I sleep with a pillow here, and then I do a perpendicular pillow that I kind of like put my leg over and I grab sometimes. You put your leg around it? Oh, yeah. Do you and Becca sleep opposite ways? Yeah, pretty much. I mean, she is like – pull that image up one more time. It's right there. She is a full-on like – she will sleep like – I'm trying to find it – like eight hours.

She is out. Jesus. She is out, brother. She like face down, out cold when she sleeps. Okay. I am a little more like, I like to like, I have like my whole setup. You like a little, you have a little. I used to sleep with like a ton of pillows. I used to have a body pillow. Loved that. I have a, like a king size pillow that kind of has taken that place. Pillows come in sizes? Yeah, of course they do. What's a king size pillow? A longer pillow.

Oh, it's like this? Yeah, because king-size beds... Oh, I see what you're saying. So, like, a standard pillow is like this. A king-size is like... Got it. You know. You would put that between your legs. I put it between my legs and, like, so, like, I have something to, like, wrap around, you know? Cuddly little guy. Yeah. But, like...

I fall like Beck and I will fall asleep holding each other. But then like once we're asleep, it's, you know, time to sleep. We turn around and we do our thing, you know? Right. Then it's a pillow's turn. I love all these people that are just like, like, oh, me and my couple, we cuddle all night. And it's like, shut the fuck up, dude. No, you don't. Too hot. Not only too hot, but just like you sleep well as an individual.

Maybe. You know? Like, I understand, like, I'll roll over and, like, I'll put my arm on Becca and, like, you know, like, something like that. But, like, the people that hold each other and fall asleep? I don't think anyone really does that besides those old people in Titanic who ended up dying. You know who those people were? No. Those were the Macy's people. Everything seemed to turn out fine for them. Well, no, they died.

Yeah, but they're... Yeah, but they were like... Have you heard about this? The old people in the movie. In the movie Titanic. That movie, that moment in the movie where it's like the old man is lying on the bed with his wife and they're crying as the water's filling up. Heartbreaking. Can we talk about that though for a second? Get out. Get up. Get a shot. Try. Get up.

Get out. The water is pouring into this room. You don't try. Yeah. I know it's like a noble thing. Noble. You're not the captain. Dude, I know. Well, that was crazy. But yeah, so that moment in the movie, it was the co-owners of Macy's.

Yeah. Wow. Him and his wife Ida died on the ship when it sank in 1912. So that's what that was. Damn, AC. If only they had seen what happens to their store. Right. There's a big one. I think that was the one. And then a big one.

built out from there. Wasn't it the original Macy's? The one in New York? Is that? The big-ass one? I believe so. It's a massive one. Did they see... When was the first... Who gives a shit if it's the first one? Jesus. Did they ever see the parade? Bro, if they never saw their own parade, that's crazy. The Macy's Day Parade? Thanksgiving Day Parade. I mean, they just sponsor it. It's not like their parade. No, dude. It's their parade. So those are their... They blow those up? I don't know if they're blowing them up, but like they...

It's their parade. Like, this is your studio and I am my own individual. You don't own me, bitch. But, like, Citi Field isn't, like, Citi's Fields-like thing. That's an interchangeable thing that's like a sponsor. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's a good point. I think this is different, though. I'm very well versed in parades.

Are ya? Yeah. I would like to be in the fucking parade. What do we gotta do? Absolutely not, dude. You don't wanna be in the parade? You wanna wake up at 2 AM and start walking- 2 AM?! Bro, they start prepping that shit in the wee hours of the morn. We're not prepped. Well, if you're gonna be in the parade, how are you gonna be in the parade? Perform? I just wanna wave. You gotta do that stuff. Like, you need to get there early, dude. No, not 2 AM. Yes. No. Do you think I'm an idiot? Yes.

Frank, look at me. NSYNC that's performing at the Macy's Day Thanksgiving Parade isn't up at 2 a.m. rehearsing with the people blowing up the balloons. They might be. Honestly, they might be. They might be as insane. They might be. It doesn't even make sense to do that. Why? Because the parade isn't until 11. No, the parade starts at 8 a.m., Joey.

Santa doesn't come until 12:00. He comes at the end because he's the big attraction. Exactly. But they have to do the whole thing. I know people- 2 AM is insane! Even if it's 8 AM! You better stop. Six hours? You better cut it out. No, because now you're wrong. I know people- No! I know people that have done- Do you know parade people? Yes! I know people- 'Cause you could volunteer 8:30 AM. Okay. I know- First of all, crazy- That's what they use to promote it. What the hell is even that? That's terrifying. Is that from Outlanders? It might be. Yeah. I don't even know what that is. Don't tell them. Um, I-

Don't tell him. He really wants to know. I know people... So you can volunteer to be a person that holds the balloons. That's so different than a performer. If anything, those people would need to be there later than the performers. Wait, volunteers are holding the balloons? Yeah. Yo, that's crazy. That's a big responsibility. Bro, and they're big balloons. Bro, what if you just as...

A crew let go of it? You're probably in. If you were just like, yo, just on the count of 10. 10. Way too many. On the count of three. On the 400. We're going to let go. Just let it go. It's crazy. They're told by trucks. Trucks are driven by members of the union. But like the people that are walking, you can sign up to do it. Oh, I'm an idiot. Yeah, you are. The strings are probably bullshit at this point. No.

I don't think those people are holding them down. They're towed by trucks. That makes way more sense. So I think it's like trucks, and then there are people that are literally holding a string, and they're waving. Yeah, yeah. But I think that's more for show than anything. It's not like you could let it go. I don't know the inner workings of the balloon management at the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Really? Because you seem to know the itinerary. I mean, yeah. So I know people that have done it, and they're like, oh, it's 3 a.m. I have to be on the west side of fucking...

Central Park because they're blowing up all the balloons now. Yeah. Him and Justin Timberlake are over there. He's warming up his vocals. He's holding the string. I think that you are vastly misguided. Yeah. On what the, uh, the inner workings of a, you know what? The Macy's, why don't we host next year?

What? The parade! How do you even host a parade? I think, well normally it's, uh, you know like the Good Morning America or Good Day New York people and they do like "And now coming down the street" Oh wow! 26 years, 26 years of memories! Pikachu is now joined by his nice little friend Eevee Crazy, I just completely misgendered Pikachu But like that's who does, it's like Hoda, Codby and the other lady

Hoda and Jenna. I don't know. My mama loves them. Of course. They talked about us when we did the Pop-Tart thing, and my mama lost it. Yeah, remember one of them was just like, I like the unfrosted chocolate. Psychopathy. Psychopathy. Absolute insanity.

Well, regardless, we do have sponsors right now. Oh, okay. Let's get to the first sponsors for today. The first one being SeatGeek. How you doing? All right. SeatGeek is where you're going to get all your tickets. You want to go to a Broadway play? You want to go to a basketball game? You want to go to a football game? You want to go to a hockey game? Any sports game? You get where I'm going with this? You can get it through SeatGeek. Okay? I've been using them for years. I love their...

Interface I should say you go on to their app and you can see tickets. They are color coded So if they're dark green that means it's a really good ticket if it's dark red probably just stay away from that You're paying a little too much for your ticket there. So I like that. There's that transparency there You can go download C key right now. We're gonna save you some money on your next batch of tickets. Okay? go to

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And this podcast is also sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. It's customizable. You can talk to a therapist, you know, once a week or once every other week or once a month or whatever it is. You can do so with BetterHelp. They have licensed therapists in, you know, all over their app. 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. You can find the right fit for you. They make it very easy to switch from therapist to therapist so that you know you're finding the right fit.

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You're welcome. And whatever journey you're on, let us come along that journey with you. And how do you do that? Well, patreon.com slash the basement yard. We thank all of our, all of our people that have loved and supported us and continue to push us to be better versions of ourselves, right dad? Uh, that have brought us to where we are today. And in addition, we want to thank our patrons over at patreon.com slash the basement yard. If you sign up for that first tier, you get weekly episodes one week in advance. And then that second tier you get

exclusive, triple exclusive, if Joe's on it, episodes. I'm kidding. Maybe we'll get ants feet on there. You never know. Every single Friday at 7 a.m. So you could start and end your week with The Basement Yard. We thank you guys so much for supporting us. We are really having some really cool opportunities because of everyone, not just our patrons, but Patreon is a way to support us directly. So again, patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. And folks, we're

For any of our friends that are coming to – first of all, we got back from Vancouver, had an awesome time. Penn State, you guys were really great. We had some really, really, really cool times so far this year at those shows. And we're getting ready for those Europe shows, okay? So Scotland, London, Ireland, we're coming for you, okay? And if you're coming to any of those shows, go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit. There's a portion of the shows that we like to be interactive. We talk with you guys. So if you go to that link, you tell us what show you're coming to, you answer some –

questions. There are some prompts on there. You answer some of them and then maybe if they're fun or interesting or whatever, we'll pull them out. We'll talk to you about you, whatever. If you want to be kept anonymous, that's fine too. Or you can just not do it if you don't feel comfortable. So go check it out at the basement yard.com slash submit. Uh, those shows that are there, we added a third London show. That's it. Those are the shows that we're doing over in Europe. Uh, so, uh, go check it out. If you haven't gotten those tickets, that third London show, try to grab them, snag them before they go away. All right. We're,

Really excited to see you guys. And yeah, let's rock and roll, baby. Let's rock and roll. I wanted to check in on you because, well, you had your dream where it sounds like something that you wanted to say, get off your chest, but you can't. Again, safe space. You can tell me and talk to me about anything. I did want to check in with you and ask if you're okay, though, because I know this has been a pretty tough time.

What's the joke? There's no joke, dude. I know you openly speak about how just from top to bottom, experience the moment you walk in and out, Hooters has been one of your favorite establishments ever. And that's the joke? First of all, you've been in Hooters way more times than I have. I just, I'm, well, first of all, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Hooters. Hooters. Oh, no, I'm not. Ha ha ha.

You love Hooters. First of all, love is a strong word. You're one of those guys who walks into it, you're like, give me the atomic ones. Yep. Yeah, I was. Absolutely, I was. I mean, hot sauce is hot sauce, bitch. You get hot sauce wherever you go. You were trying to impress the Hooter girls. You think, hold on. Yes. Okay. I'm going to withdraw what I was going to say. That's why you wore your finest XXL football t-shirt. I could understand. Football t-shirt. Yeah, you're an idiot. Kick me in the front teeth.

Hard to miss. You're running with this thing. I don't know why. You have great teeth. Can I say? That's crazy. Can we say something? I didn't even know they served shrimp at Hooters. If anyone has ever gotten anything other than chicken wings at Hooters, crazy, right? Shrimp.

What? I don't think I've ever gotten anything other than chicken wings. Like, forget about even burgers. Like, it's crazy to me. Who goes to Hooters and is just like, let me get a burger? Yeah, no, you got to get the wings. Well, right now, it doesn't look like you're going to be able to get anything because I wanted to check in because apparently they filed for bankruptcy. Are you okay? I'm good. What does, what does, I just realized that the O's are owl eyes.

Oh, I was going to say they look like boobs. Oh, well, maybe that too, but also they're the eyes of the owl. Right. No, that I knew. The Hooters mascot is not the women being objectified for your money. It's an owl, brother. No, no, no. That's of course what they're doing. Yeah, we know that. Do you remember when we were younger, it was like, oh, no, it's fine. Now, like this was progression back in the day. It was like, no, it's fine. We don't, you don't even need big tits to work here anymore. Yeah.

Good for you. That's right. They were just like, we're now allowing anyone to apply. Any hot girl. Massive tits. Big tits. Just like regular tits. As long as you're willing to wear the underwear that's riding in your ass. We don't care how big your tits are. Also, I think at a time, didn't they? And this is funny that I know this, but like, I think that they like, it was the women that worked there wore short shorts. Yeah. And then they added like leggings to it.

Oh, I... Like brown leggings? Well, like, yeah, they were like nude... Like nude colored leggings or something like that. Yeah, I mean, I don't know that I've been there and it was like raw leg. I'm sure we have at the time. I can't remember. You think in 2008 they were that progressive? Where they were just like, you know what, ladies? Put some leggings on. Hooters is going to throw you a bone here. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to speak ill of the establishment Hooters. We don't know... It's because you love it so much. No, no. You love Hooters. I'm just saying.

We are so far one for one with successfully reviving a popular restaurant chain. One for one for taking credit, for sure. I mean, if it's the American way, that's the way I'm going to do it. That's taking credit for something you talk about once on a podcast. What does bankruptcy really mean? It means they start liquidating their assets and figuring out ways to stop losing as much money as they are spending. I know, but that doesn't mean that they're going away. I know. So there's different types. There's different...

filing there's different chapters i believe i remember looking this up when i was looking up chapter 11 chapter 11 is just like we are not like going away completely but like we're gonna start restructuring pay all our bills well bro look at red lobster they're doing well they're kind of a success story thanks to us not their new ceo not that

Yeah, not the progressive new CEO that's like trying to find ways to like... So chapter 7, discharge in chapter 7 releases debtors from their personal debts, whatever. What's 11? Why do they not have the most coolest type? 11. Oh, it's a repayment plan. So 7 is like... Wait, yeah, I don't know.

Whatever, dude. Bankruptcy. Yeah. So do we commit to helping Hooters? You'd love that. Let's go get atomic wings. It's not even spicy. Listen, my time at Hooters is long gone. I haven't been to one since like 2016. I mean, maybe, honestly, probably before that. Maybe like 2014. Now that we laughed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 2014. Let's back it up a few years. Those two years are massive for me. I think the last time that I went, I was with you.

I've only been to Hooters like twice. I've been several times. And I think I've told this because my fraternity used to do an event at Hooters. Right. It was all you can eat wings. And it was like, if you think you're rushing, come hang out with a bunch of guys eating wings at Hooters. Did you go to like ever? Like, I guess that's a stupid question. Was it ever like a hangout spot? Like, did they have TVs?

I think they did, yeah. I don't remember it's possible I have. Just being like, yo, bros, what are we doing tonight? You want to go crush some wings at Hooters and watch the game? If you had to go eat wings somewhere, where would it be? You're going to make fun of me for this, potentially. You've never been. Buffalo Wild Wings. A lot of people talk shit about their wings, myself included. Their wings are not the worst I've ever had in my entire life. And you're a flat...

Or a drum. I prefer a flat over a drum. Yeah. You know? Me too. It's just, dude, Buffalo Wild Wings, like, it's not awful. Like, it's not the worst wings I've ever had in my entire life. They're usually very big places, right? Buffalo Wild Wings? Well, yeah, because they do what it's like. You know, it's like bro culture. It's like, there's wings, there's beard, there's sports. We don't have the tits like Hooters, but come on in anyway. Yeah.

Yeah. That's their whole thing. You know what gets me every time? Tits? No. Well...

But a beer tower. I am a slut for a beer tower, dude. Dude, if you put beer in a giant cylindrical shape. It doesn't matter how much it costs. I'm finishing it. This is a challenge. Yeah. Bro, there was like that. It was like 2012 to like 2015. Every place was just like, we have beer towers now. Got me. I was in. I'm in there. I was super in. I didn't hate them. I haven't been to a place that's offered a beer tower since we, I think you were with me when we were in Vegas and got it. Were you there?

Yes, I was. Yeah, when we went to the pizza place. The pizza place. We got like, and they were like 30 bucks. It was like, you can get a beer for eight bucks or you can get 10 for 30. Do you think people do beer towers at weddings? No.

But fill it with like champagne! DOOOM! That's genius. That's so geni- Forget a centerpiece! OOOH! Champagne towers! I like this, I like this. I'm gonna get married all over again. Let's get champagne towers in the middle of every table. Where we were supposed to get married, they had built into the walls, they had beer taps. That sounds pretty cool too! I will say this is cooler, when you can see your beer.

Yeah. I like beer, like, that I can see. I like when it's, like, labeled. It's like, at the top, it's like, oh, you're kind of fucked up? You're super fucked up? Where's my keys? Where's my keys is not what I meant to say, by the way. I'm pretty sure, yeah. That's not what I meant to say.

My keys should be way higher to the top - No, we had like we had my brothers had that mug from like Spencer's and it was like a giant mug that held like eight beers or no, no Maybe like four beers and it was just like I know you're gonna tell we'll get to that soon and the first one was just like You're a novice

Keep drinking! Woah, look at the dress on you! Really just really being fucked up to people that decide they want to wear dresses from other genders. Genders are so- It's all over the place! And then the last one was just like, "Sorry drunk, I'm not an officer." Or something like that. Yeah! Dude, there was- Just go ahead, go ahead. Maybe two summers. Two? Four?

I don't know how many. Try like 10, 10 summers where Frank refused, refused to drink beer unless it was in a boot glass. Yeah. And you, and or,

wear the helmet. The helmet? You loved gadgets. I had a lot. It was a thing for birthday. My sister would get me a beer gadget. I had a ton of them. You had so many gadgets. Inspector Gadget! I had the hat with the two straws that came out. In concept, a great idea. In execution, piss poor because then I had to like

I couldn't like, I had to turn around very slow. You know, a drink out of a boot all night. And so I saw beer fest and I was like, this is my whole personality. This is the coolest thing I've ever seen. The coolest thing I've ever seen. So someone, I don't even remember. And I, I know my, I really pray that my father, I don't know why I pray that he still has it. You pray that he has your boot. Dear God, dear God, please, please tell me daddy has my boot.

Anything, anything, I'll do anything for my glass beer drinker. What? Yeah, but it held three cans of beer, and it was legit. Like, the whole turn it thing was legit. Because if not, the bubble would fucking smack you in the face. Dude, just insane. Insane. It was crazy. You wanted me to get started?

We lived in the prime time of like Spencer's Gifts drinking paraphernalia. We had the Bongzilla. The beer pong table that lasted forever. We had the beer pong table that not only lasted forever, we brought it with us to several dozen places. It may be still...

leaning against your house in Connecticut. It might. Honestly, knowing my dad, if it's there, he's kept it. Also, knowing me, it's probably covered with my urine because I've peed next to your house a billion times. Oh, yeah. I will say this thing was built basically out of cardboard. I don't know how, if it's still around, there's no way it opens up and operates. Yeah, no. That thing was something else, man. It was like the professional beer pong eight-foot table that in the middle had like the...

Yeah, there was a guy like this, and you're like, alright. It's like the NBA. Ah, good times. Good times. What's better than a couple of drinking games? You know what? Let's do an episode where we get two beer towers. Frank. And we do a beer tower race. It holds like six beers, Joey. We will be okay. Frank. Maybe not in a full episode. Maybe that's more of a standing out of studios thing. Frank. Greg, do me a favor. Can you expense two beer towers for me, please? Frank, can I say something? Six.

Can I say something? And I want to be... This is being... I'm breaking down the wall right here, okay? Break the walls down. Like Chris Jericho. Don't interrupt me real quick. I just want to get this off. Frank... You want to get off? Yeah. You just did it. Frank is not an idea guy. Admittedly, right? Yeah, fully admit. Most of the time, I will say that his ideas are next level bad, right? Just unbelievably horrible. Like what? That beer tower idea...

May have erased your entire past. That is an incredible idea. Yes! Get two beer towers in here and we should just crush them. That would be amazing. I would love that. Jokes aside. And we have to write stuff on it. We have to write stuff like, this is the levels. Look up the drinking beer levels. Look them up. We should have like...

Look up, uh, drinking glass, big drinking glass that has levels that are insulting. Hey man, just look up beer tower. That are insulting. Because they're like, like almost like borderline homophobic, like the old ones. It'll just be like, you swallow. I think go to Amazon and type in beer tower. I mean, no, no, no. Beer tower. We could get, that's easy. Okay. But we have to like, Frank wants to be degraded. Drink your beer. You whore. Yeah.

Oh, what is this? They think he's alien. They think I'm a god. Yeah. Well, while we're doing that, we have some more sponsors for this week. I'm so excited. I'm sorry. I'm so excited you said that. I had a good idea. Interruption. Okay. We have...

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Get the beer towers. That's going to... What's going on over there? Serious talk now. Oh, you're... Well, first of all, can you just look up big beer mug with comical things written on it? Sure. Just look at that real quick. You're so adamant about being degraded by your beer mugs. But also, it's time to talk about something serious. Go ahead. There... We don't have to do this now, Frank. We'll do it eventually. What are you upset about? What's that one say? I always... What's it? Titties and beer? To the right? I don't always...

To the left. Down. To the left. Left. Yeah, no, we have a show. That one. What's it say? I don't always think about titties and beers. Oh, wait. Yes, I do. Such a sick. Are you satisfied now? You're satisfied? No, it's time to talk about something serious. So you guys have asked. We have listened.

Are you talking about me? The Beef Boys are back. Joey and Frankie, the Beef Boys are back. A lot of people often love our coverage of beef. Hal, you're all over beef. Anytime there's beef... We both just ate a beef stick. Separate beef sticks, let's make that very clear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they came out of a box. Yeah. Okay? Joe's beef stick, you ate yours in the bathroom for some reason. I will say... I don't even get that joke. Oh, you thought I was shoving a beef stick in my ass. Got it, okay.

The Beef Boys are back, and this one hits close to home now, Joe. So look at some of the other beefs that we've covered. We've been all over the Haley Bieber, Selena Gomez beef. I remember that. You remember that beef. The Rizzler and Baby Gronk. Yeah. Quite the thing going on there. Yeah. Now we've got Boy Meets World Beef. Got it. Beef Boys meets Boy Meets World Beef.

I see what you're doing. Okay. Have you heard about this? I heard they're up to pangas, like upset about something or some shit. I don't really know what it is now. All right. So in summary, basically, so, so summarize, that's what I was going to do. I was going to do it. Okay.

So if you had a popular like kids show or Disney show or whatever in like the 90s or early 2000s, like a lot of them have podcasts now. Remember there was like Ned's Declassified. Chrissy Carlson Romano has one. She just got shot in the face. Now there's the –

What? You didn't hear about that? She was on- I'm glad she's okay. She was on a shooting- She got shot in the face? She was on a hunting trip and she got shot in the face. She's okay, thank God. With a gun in the face? Like a shooting gun. Like a- They're all shooting guns! No, like a hunting one. The ones that spray. The one that Dick Cheney got- he shot someone with. Oh, like pellets. Pellets, yeah, yeah. They hunt whales. Dude, still. Yeah, dude. It was scary. She posted a picture. I was like, holy shit. Is she alright?

She seems okay. She posted a picture saying, like, I'm good. Okay. You tried to glaze over someone getting shot in the face. You can't say glaze and then shot in the face, Joey. That's really out of left field. You can if you don't do that. That's really out of left field. But so there's a Boy Meets World podcast, and it's three of the heaviest hitters on the show. You got Topanga. You got Hunter.

What was his name? Will Hunter? Ben Savage. Nope. No, that's Corey. His name is... Ben... Something Hunter. Hunter... Hunter... Hunter. You know who I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah. The guy that was in Cabin Fever. The cool hair. Yeah. The one whose dad didn't love him. He's like, I'm poor, but I wear leather jackets. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Very expensive leather jackets, may I add. And then he's like...

He got adopted by the teacher who drives a Harley? Sean Hunter. There we go. Rider Strong. Great name, by the way. That's a sick name. And then Will Friedle. Friedle? Forgive me if I'm butchering the pronunciation. Oh, and the older brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they have a podcast where they just talk, you know, like life, happiness, joy. I love it. I'm all about it. Okay. Another one of the stars from... I don't know about stars. A woman that was on the show with them. They had her on and her and Topanga just started fucking beefing, dude.

Who? Which one of the show? There it is. Maitland Ward. I don't remember who she played in the show. Scroll down. She was... Oh, the redhead. The redheaded actress. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who was with the other guy? I don't remember who she's with. The guy who looks like he's, you know, just the other guy. Who's the brother's roommate. I don't remember that.

But so she gets on and she's just like, they start going back and forth. Why? So the story is that Maitland Ward was like upset. She thought that the other people from the show were upset because she was getting a lot of attention. And Topanga's like, yo, let's fucking, let's like verbally brawl right now. Let me say something. Yeah. There are a few things in life that are just American and beloved to their core.

Okay, I'm not a fan but apple pie apple pie. Okay bald eagles bald eagles sparklers Spark fireworks. I mean there I think we got them from the Chinese but we did all right sparklers that maybe they're ours now I meant like these sparklers not the club sparklers. They're not the ones that come out with bottles You know and it says a sign that says like you're 32 oldie. Yeah, you know oldie

Okay. Other things. Ant, anything. Anything American that you can think of? A really dumb looking USA hat. Okay. He's wearing one. Hot dogs.

Hot dogs. Very American. How do we glaze over hot dogs? Here's a question. Clowns? Is that an American thing? I think the... I think... Did we invent clowns? No, no, no, no. Mimes. France. Those were the first clowns. Those aren't clowns. Are they? Who invented clowns? Mimes aren't clowns. Those are very different. Who invented clowns? I think that we invented... Ancient Rome, ancient Egypt, and other cultures. Hmm.

Those are jesters. Nope, that's a clown. Yeah, that's a clown, brother. Full on clown. Damn. Few things that are just to their core American and beloved. Topanga? Really? You think Topanga? Bro. I love Topanga. Exactly. One of my first crushes. Exactly. Did you have a crush on Topanga? Of course.

I had a crush on Topanga too. She's beautiful. You know, like it was at the time. And she's so mature. She was always like, she was always like, she always had her head on straight. You know, like Corey was being an idiot. Yeah. He was such a bastard. He was such a little bitch. He was a bitch. He was a bitch.

He was. He was a bitch. He was. He was. And she was there to be like, dude, quit being a bitch. And Sean's in the corner with a leather jacket. Like, my dad hates me. Yeah, he was. Well, he doesn't even know. I don't think he knows his dad or whatever. Well, if your dad doesn't know you, chances are they hate you. Yeah, he had a lot of more stuff going on. Corey was a bitch because he had a loving family, a great house. Great house. What are you complaining about? Massive. Massive house. And a lovely lady. What are you complaining about? What's there to complain about? Your fucking best friend's...

basically homeless, dude. He was on the boom and bitch too, but he has more stuff to complain about. It's just, you know, Topanga, you don't go after Topanga. That's the rule. I agree. That is the rule of life. It's also a fun name to say, Topanga. Topanga, Topanga. If you go after Topanga, this boy... He's pointing at himself. ...is going to make sure you meet the afterworld. Just kill? Yeah. Okay, got it.

You don't attack Topanga, dude. What did she say? She said like, you know, like, oh, like, why don't we talk? So Topanga was just like, yo, be in Topanga. She's like, let's talk offline so we can squash any beef. Right. Topanga. That's maturity. Very maturity. Yeah. Mr. Feeney would be proud. Very maturity.

And Maitland Moore was like, nah, save it for the fuck. I'm coming to the podcast and we'll talk there. Oh, she wanted to air it out. She wanted to air it out. And she was like, it'll be good for ratings. And Topanga dropped one of the coldest lines I've ever heard, dude. Oh, fuck. So Maitland was just like, yo, you were upset because I was getting all this attention in 2014. And Topanga goes, I was on the cover of Maxim in 2014. That's crazy. But can we say this? No. No.

She wasn't wrong. It did do good for ratings. We're talking about it. That's right. That is what it is. Maitland knows what she's talking about. Maybe cut her in on that deal. That is right. She's not incorrect, but you don't go after Topanga. Yeah. That's just like we are. Maybe they should fight on the undercard of a Jake Paul fight that no one wants to watch. I'm just kidding, dude. Topanga is very maturity. So like, I feel like she's probably taken boxing or like Taibo or something like that. What is Taibo? Taibo.

I think it's a fun mix of working out and dancing. Tai Bo. Yeah. So what's Tai Chi? Tai Chi is different. Energy movements. Yep, yep, yep. This kind of thing. Yes. Also, isn't this so weird that growing up, everyone had that one dude in the neighborhood who would randomly be like, is that the guy doing Tai Chi over there? They'd be at the park and they would just be like...

Yeah, I don't... Did you guys have a Tai Chi guy? We did, we did. Everyone had a Tai Chi guy. Is it Tai Chi or is it H? We also want to be careful that we're not offending anyone that may or may not practice Tai Chi, Tai Bo, or any Tai... I'm not offending Tai Chi at all. I think it's awesome. ...Kwando or anything. They might fuck us up. Might? How hard would that be? Everyone knew that one Tai Chi guy that was just like, now try to push me.

You know what I mean? I love those videos on the internet of guys being like, oh my... They'll be like standing still. They'll just be like flat-footed. They're like, try to push me. And you push them and be like, see, I have completely centered my chi and like I am immovable right now. I love the videos of the guy who's like, clearly he's the guy. And then there's people just sitting down. They're watching him and he's like, it's just like this.

See that's all you have to do it's about energy. It's about balance you just Knocking some guy over and they're all just like yeah, and so how can you sit there? Yo, have you ever seen like this Steven Seagal like him performing in like North Korea or Russia? Someone will come at him and he'll just like grab their wrists and be like watch this

Yeah, like, what are we doing? And, like, in slow-mo. I agree. Those are... It's like we're, like, sharks. Where people, like... You know how they... You ever seen people hypnotize sharks where they do that? Where they're just like, sharks are big puppies. Watch this. And there's a great white and they, like, put their hand on its nose and flips it upside down and, like, scratches its belly and shit like that. Apparently that's real. Apparently it is real. Yeah, but... Yeah, but... I would love to see...

I'm riding a wave right now, so... Okay. Do I quit while I'm ahead? I don't know what you're saying. For a Sanagato Studios video... Here we go. We get someone like a Tai Chi master in here to do those moves on us. Because I also know someone... Nah, I'd be so embarrassed. I also know someone that went to school for massage therapy, and they were just like, "Oh yeah, no, there are parts of your body that if I touch, you'll shit your pants."

Dude. I'm not kidding. This is what this person told me. I've not asked them to go for it. I'm open to that being real. Make me shit my pants. I would need to experience that. Like you're telling me someone could just touch this thing and I would just fill my pants. Fill your shitty pants. That would be unbelievable. And you've been wearing bigger, more looser pants now, so you could probably fill a lot of crap in it. A lot more crap. A lot more crap. Not only that, but I would argue that's cooler...

Than like a card trick. Well, yeah, because one of these make it's being done to your body, bro. Vegas. This is a great thing. Get like an ex Navy SEAL and just have them be like, come up to the crowd. I need I need a volunteer and just make them shit their pants. That would be so awesome. Can you imagine that? I think it's possible. And I'll go one step probable.

If we had a guy in here who was like, if I touch a part of your neck, you will shit your pants. You wouldn't touch it? Not me. Not me. No, no, no. Really? I don't need to. What if I got you pants? I don't care what you get me. It's not. First of all, there's no shower in here. Okay. But all those questions are answered. You can get me whatever you want. What it would do to my confidence. To shit your pants? Yeah, brother. I don't think I'd come back from that. Why? It's traumatic. An adult man shitting his pants on the internet? We don't have to post it. I'll just talk about it. What?

Worse! Would you let him make you shit your pants? Sure, but he would have to teach me how to do it at least. No, no, no. A good magician never reveals his secrets. That's right. I think that's the thing because you love talking about how often you almost crap yourself. No, you talk about me doing that all the time. Because offline you talk about it. No, I don't. Yes, you do. How often does he talk about almost crapping his pants? Frank, you're a manipulator.

And you tell lies on the show, and you create narratives, and then people just believe them because you create narratives and you make it up in your liar gaslighter. Get Topanga on my side. Topanga, you hear how he's talking about us? Projecting, projecting, projecting. You hear how he's talking about us? Hooters, hooters, hooters, hooters. Oh, is that? Whoa. Is that Topanga now? I believe so. She was at like a WWE event recently. Look at that shirt. That's a Frank shirt there. Oh, yeah, it's a Frank shirt, baby. That looks like a sick shirt.

I'm sorry. That's a sick shirt. I like that shirt. That is. That's the redhead? Wow, that doesn't look like the girl I remember at all. I honestly don't even remember her from the show if I hadn't looked up this article. Yeah, she was always with the brother and the roommate and then her. And it was like this weird love triangle, kind of.

Do we have to go back and watch all of Boy Meets World? No. Oh, okay. We don't. All right? We don't have to do that. I mean, honestly. What episode stands out? When you think about Boy Meets World, what stands out? Hmm. Ask me again. You tell your answer, then I'm going to drink this water because there's something caught in my throat. Got it. Two answers. One, there was a Halloween episode that scared the shit out of me, and I remember seeing that specifically where the lights go off and the lights turn on. Yes. And the guy's got a pencil through his head. Yep. And he slides down the wall, and he goes, I'll always remember he was this tall, and I was this tall.

Terrifying. Yeah, any time like a show is like kid shows did a Halloween episode, that's when they were like, we're going to scare the shit out of the kids that are watching this. It's crazy. I think Kenan and Kel did one that fucking petrified me as a child. I was scared of everything. I recently rewatched. Oh, man. I tweeted about this, but I recently was like it was up one morning and it was just Miles and I up and I was like, yo, you want to like watch Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Yeah. And he was like, yeah. In the morning? In the morning. And he was like, yeah. At night it's too crazy. It's scary. Because I loaded this. I loaded it up. I was just like, dude, this show, like as a kid, it scared the shit out of me. Like it was really terrifying. There was one episode in particular, Tale of the Ghastly Grinner. I've spoken about it. And I was like, yo, you want to watch it? He's like, yeah. I was like, it might scare you. He's like, I'm good, dude. I'm fine with it.

Like, let's put it on. I ain't a bitch like you, Kiki. And we watched it. And boy, oh boy, did it make me look like a little baby because it was not scary at all. Really? But come on. You could see why as a little kid, I was terrified of this. Yeah, I didn't fuck with that at all. You know what I'm saying? And he was just like, you found this scary? Damn. Yeah, he hit me hard.

Then you gotta show him like Insidious or something Now I was thinking Now next I'm gonna have to show him Something crazy But Becca might be a little upset About that one What? Like a If you had to show someone What's the scariest movie You've ever seen? The Strangers Is that the one Where they knock on the doors? Yeah Where it's just like Why us? It was like You were home Terrifying That's why? That's what they say Well that's why You're barricading all those doors Damn right baby

Yeah, I don't like home invasions. I don't like that at all. Who does? I don't like haunted shit, though. That's like, I can get past the strangers concept. Once you're getting into like haunting, like I don't know why that gets me. See, I'm the opposite. Things that are real freak me out way more than things that are like supernatural. Yeah, but like, I agree, but I just feel differently about like,

and like religious shit. Cause I'm like, oh, I don't, I don't know. I mean, yeah. I mean, you all, you were also raised more religious than I was. So like, I can understand. Becca's like that though. But that's not why it's like, there's, there's,

of exorcisms. Like, there's people who do that. Yeah. And it's like, what is that? Like, what's going on with this person that they think there's a demon? Becca's like you in that regard. Like, a sci-fi or like a horror movie about just like a person that's scary. You're okay with the moment it's like supernatural or like religious. Yeah.

Or like demonic. She's just like, I'm out. I'll watch them. The only thing that gets me out of movies is jump scares. I hate them. You've said this before. You do the whole like, who's texting me right now? I do that all the time. Or I get something in my eye for like 10 minutes. I'm like, the fuck? No, I love horror movies. Love them. You like being scared? I do. I like it. Like someone going, hey! And you're like, oh! One of my favorite...

TikToks is like that. It's like a compilation of people scaring other people like they're like there's like this kid that like scares his grandmother and he just like runs up there and he's like and she like fucking like freaks out. I'm terrified of scaring old people. I feel like you could. Yeah, they're they're one step in. Yeah, dude. One foot in one foot out. You know what I'm saying? I feel like when you scare someone like that feeling in your chest, your heart has to like do something. When I was when I was a kid, my sister scared me once so bad that I started crying.

Yeah, dude, are you kidding me? I used to cry all the time for stuff. Yeah. Being scared, that was the least of it. I've cried for numerous reasons, dude. I love a good scare. 90% of the time it was girls. Yeah, we know that. You cried about girls too. What up, bitch? I didn't. Remember when you cried? Don't, don't. You cried on a piece of paper and you circled it and you're like, oh, there was a tear. No, it wasn't a real cry. I know. Yeah. Oh, wait, yeah, no, you just licked it.

Yeah. First time I remember crying for a girl was when I told the girl in second grade that I loved her. Not loved her, liked her. And it was the day after I watched the making of the video of the Cisco Thong song. Full circle. Wait, what? Full circle, baby. It was the day after? Yep, full circle. That's how zoned in you were on Cisco that you remember the next day. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was a traumatic time. Wait, what was that, second grade? Yeah.

Same year you stopped talking to me because Kelsey said I was her friend. Best friend, bitch. You know that... This girl, Kelsey, she gave me a thing on Valentine's Day. Like when you're a kid, everyone gives stuff out to each other in class. She gave me this thing and Frankie was just standing next to me. Or I had like a bunch and I was just like going through and one of them said, Kelsey, it's like, from your best friend, Kelsey. And then he went, what? And I looked at him. He looked at me like I stabbed him. And he was like, I thought I was your best friend. And I was like, you are. She wrote that. I didn't write that. He was like,

Two weeks, bro. Two weeks. Oh, wait. It was about you being the best friend? Yeah. I thought it was about Kelsey. Like, he liked Kelsey. Listen. No! We've established that I am a dominant Leo, and one of my traits is that I am loyal. I'm ride or fucking die for my people. That's not loyalty. That is loyalty, bitch. How is that loyal? Because you were being disloyal. I wasn't being disloyal. Your best friend cheated on me. Your best friend cheated. She said I was her best friend. Yeah. That doesn't mean she's mine. Why would she say that?

Why would she assume that that relationship is there? Can I be honest with you? Yeah. I have no idea. Do you remember me and Kelsey being best friends? I think... I did have a crush on her, though. There you go. She moved away at the end of the year. So she might have been... This might have been the basement yard with Kelsey and Joe. But it isn't now. I won, bitch. Bro, do you remember... Do you remember when Kelsey moved away? It was... She...

I remember the next year. It was basically she went to Japan, dude. She moved 15 minutes out. And I remember the next year at the end of the school year, she came back. Remember the end? The last like three weeks of school and elementary school were just like toss-ups. No one gave a fuck what you did. Like what are we doing today? We're watching a movie and eating Gushers from morning to afternoon. It was an ice cream party at Miss Pogerman's class. Yeah. And she like showed up and people like made a big deal of it.

Like the teachers and everything were like, we got a surprise. And it was the kid you haven't seen in a year. You would think LeBron James. Well, at the time it wouldn't have been LeBron James. It would have been like Derek Jeter or Lisa Leslie. Jason Kidd. Yeah. Jason Kidd. I don't know. But yeah, I remember she showed up and I was like, what are you doing here?

Yeah, it was like the last episode of like the season finale of Dawson's Creek where it's just like things are going to happen. And it's just like the ex walks in. It's like, what? But you're supposed to have died in a sailing crash. In a sailing crash. That's what it was. But yeah, so that, but you probably weren't happy about that either. No, bitch. I mean, I don't remember. Get out of here. I got rid of you. No, I had a one at that point in time. I had one.

So she can come back as many times as she wants. She can come back right now. Get her on the episode. It ain't gonna fucking matter. I wonder what she's doing. I don't care. Hope no one finds her. Even though there's very random names. There's a thousand million Kelseys in the world. Uh, but yeah. Her last name was Kelsey. It was Travis. Oh, I get it. It was Kelsey, yeah. It wasn't Travis Kelsey. Should we end the episode on that incredibly... Over the roaring laughter. Alright guys, we gotta get out of here now. That was unbelievable.

Dude, you know what I would love to do? No. Go through our yearbook in fifth grade, just like our class, and just point people out and just remember stuff about them. Let's do it. I mean, we'd be invading people's privacy by doing that. Just first names. Okay. But that's just an us thing. We should do that me and you. I don't think people are going to want to watch an hour of that. I think they would love to hear about these stories. I think only if we got to 35,000 patrons, they'd really...

I remember one time I pushed a mirror into a fence and he chased me. Yeah, I remember we were trying to come up with cool nicknames for all our friends. So our friend Eric, we nicknamed him EXM. What is that? You were Joe Mudd. I was Fax 2. He needed one, so he became EXM. I remember one morning we were walking to school and I was wearing a headband. Not relevant to the story. Yeah. Completely superfluous. I was wearing a gray headband. And you wrote Fax 2.

into the concrete and I was too afraid to write my name in it. Sometimes you live dangerously. And that was me. See? Sometimes you live dangerously. I remember we went... I was Ben Savage. I remember we went and we played Spongebob Uno at your crush's Gillian's house and we didn't know why it smelled so weird. Hindsight...

Reeked of weed. Reeked of weed. Her parents were big potheads. They were like hippies, kind of. Yeah, they were like hippies and like... We played Spoons! We played Spoons and we played SpongeBob Uno. And they were like, why don't you guys have to be home? And I'm like, our parents do not give a shit. Yeah. I was like, I have to be home at 7 o'clock for dinner? As they were saying that, they were like, why don't you guys...

Have to be home. They were nice people and they had a new apartment. Yeah, it doesn't mean the smoking weed doesn't mean they're bad people. Very, very boomer of you, Joey. Wow. No, I just didn't want anyone to think that we were doing that. Also, I went to middle school with her. Yeah, they weren't rolling up joints in front of us just so we're clear. Yeah, yeah, that was not happening. But like, I remember I went to middle school with her and her dad drove us home one time. In a station wagon? Yeah, something like that. Really? But I'm in the back seat and then he starts going off about graffiti.

And then I remember being like, I don't know. I think it's like pretty cool. It's like art. Never saw her again. It was like never. I legit never got a ride home again. But I don't know if that was because of why. Yeah. We just stopped being me and her stop being friends. He might have gotten like in trouble for like, you know, rolling doobies or something. Nah, he was just like, no, it's disrespectful to people's businesses. And I was just like, nah, I feel like bubble letters are sick.

You definitely love bubble letters. Bubble letter Joe. Bubble letter Joe. You're the one who got in trouble. You always bring that up, but you forget that it was actually you. I got in trouble for it, but no one got in trouble. No one got mad at Joe because he was a bubble letter kid because he had cool bubble letters. That's where we're going to end it. Sorry for the last five minutes. We're just reminiscing. That was just for us. But we will get some beer towers in here, and it will get a little crazy. I think that we should definitely do that. The beer tower boys. Get on the one. The beer tower basement boys bring...

The Basement Yard Beer Tower Bash. Basement Boys Beer Tower Bash. Yeah. Yeah. Guys, go follow the show at The Basement Yard on TikTok and Instagram. Go follow me at JoeSanagal. Frank, when can I find you? Yeah. And that is all. We appreciate you guys so much. Don't forget to go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit. If you're coming to shows this year in the UK or in Ireland, hit us up. TheBasementYard.com slash submit. Submit. Submit. Submit. See you next time.