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cover of episode #498 - The Morning Routine

#498 - The Morning Routine

2025/4/14
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The Basement Yard

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Welcome back to the ba- Welcome back! Welcome back to the f*cking basement yard! Yeah, exactly. I had a- I had a- Yeah. You know. You haven't done the accent in a little bit, now that we've been back. Well, no one cares if I do it at home. Right. You know? I think I probably annoyed my family with it at this point. See, that's shocking. Why? Because I didn't think that you ever could annoy anybody. You heard that shit, right? I heard a gasp over here. You heard the gasp?

And gasped. I am gasped. Gasped? I don't know if that's... I am aghast. You are aghast? Aghastly. Don't make this about Pokemon. I'm sorry. It's always about Pokemon with me. We just got back from Europe two days ago, I think. Yeah. Why are you saying that? Really, like a day and a half ago. Yeah. I don't know. By the way, what time did you walk into your place? Straight.

I don't know. What time did we land? Like 4.30 or something? No, we landed at like 3.20. Oh, then I probably got home. I got home in an hour and 10 minutes. That's not too bad. Yeah, we're back. The boys are back. We had a really successful... The boys are back in town. The boys are back in town. The boys are back in town.

Thin Lizzy, I think sings that. Thin Lizzy. Thin Lizzy. Who is she? Who is she? Why is she so thin? She's clearly made an impression. Is she okay?

Get her a fucking pint. Yeah. So what Joe is referencing is while we were in Europe, we had several shows in three different countries. First stop was in Glasgow. Glasgow, Scotland. Scotland, Scotland, Scotland. Yeah. You know, and then we went right over London. Fucking...

Diving in. Fuck off. Yeah. And then. We had three shows there. Had a great time there. And then we ended up in Dublin, Ireland. Yeah. I'm still working on that one. That's the only one I. But. It's tough. You scared me. Joey scared me into practicing because as soon as I practiced the Scottish accent and I think I got it pretty good. It's good. You know, just like give me something to say. Hey, how are you?

See, but like give it like something with like, hey, how are you? Like it's not great, but like while it was there, it was better. I think. Okay. It's the air. I think the air and the ground. Blame the air and the ground. You know, but like Scotland, how are you? Yeah. We had a fucking proper time in Scotland. How many Guinnesses do you think that you had? We also had a baby Guinness shot for the first time. Those are delicious.

Those are delicious. And the reason they call them baby Guinness is because they look like a... Little Guinness. Baby Guinness. I would say a couple dozen. He's gasping over there. He's all over.

Love it. Listen, I've always... I love this stuff. You know, it's so fucking funny. Fucking funny. Yeah. Frank, why does this upset you? I didn't like Guinness when we were 19. Let it go. It was over 10 years ago. But even a couple years ago, when we were recording episodes of the Basement Yard podcast, which you could find everywhere, you would openly say, I don't like Guinness. It's gross to me. And you know what?

I'm not gonna give you too much... What do you want out of this interaction? Nothing. I'm not... That's why I literally was just gonna say I'm not gonna give you too much shit because I understand our palate changes as we grow up and we experience more of the world. Clearly you don't. I do. That's what I'm saying. There's no need to bring it up. I brought it up, bitch. Now what? I said I liked it and then you're like, oh, you didn't like it 10 years ago. I think it was just... A decade ago you said you didn't like it. It's... Joey, you and I need to hold each other accountable. So as we grow up in life and we like things that we previously had not liked, we're gonna bring it up. So...

You've done this to me too! You like the same things that you've liked since 2009. And then there's some other stuff that I've also liked too. Which ones? Uh, watches. I like watches. I used to make fun of watches. It's true. I used to make fun of them, but see, I grow. I blossom into this beautiful butterfly that you see in front of you. So you're allowed, but I'm not. No, you are. That's why I just said I'm not gonna

gonna give you too much shit but you gave shit we gave handed me shit on a platter well so we took the red eye into Edinburgh am I saying that right because it's not pronounced it's not spelled that way it is it is spelled Edinburgh Edinburgh yeah I think the GH is just like yeah it's not like girl Edinburgh and then some of us it was a little tough on some of us you know I can't sleep on planes you I barely slept so we were pretty tired mm-hmm

Best way to stay awake was with a couple Guinness. A couple of Guinness. And seeing a castle, too. Loved the castle. There was a big bitch there. Dude, I can't even. We went to the Edinburgh Castle, and there was a chapel on the grounds, and there was a sign outside. This was built in 1130.

Yeah, that's old. How is that even a real year? You know what I mean? Oh, and then when we were in Dublin, we saw the book. They're like, this book is from 800. I'm like, that doesn't even sound real. It doesn't make sense because like before like 800. I'll be really honest with you. It's hard for me to conceptualize things before the year 1900. Like before 1900, it's like,

This is an ancient relic. I mean, yeah. But like, it's hard for me to realize that and conceptualize that. Now you're going another 1100 years prior. The year 800? That's a joke. And who's keeping track of years at that point? There were people like scribes or something. Yeah, but I don't think they were just like, oh, welcome to year 801. I think they probably can like carbon date some of the things. No, they had calendars.

The Mayan calendar was like old as hell. And the Mayan, amongst the Mayan people. Yeah. I don't think they were like, in Scotland, they were like, what are the Mayans saying? So you're saying no one was keeping track of the days? I'm sure they were, but they probably were all scattershot. They were probably like, over here was one day, over there was another. So they've had to kind of try to loop it all together.

I don't even know what you're trying to say. Are you saying like the years are completely off? I'm saying they might have been off like the way that they had kept time and like tracked it. But like now because of like, oh, this happened. They say this happened in this year and this happened this year. So it probably happened in this year and they can use carbon dating. I think that you're just trying to like make yourself understand it. So you're like, there's no way they got it right. Yeah. Which is not fair. But for 1900, everyone was stupid in my opinion. Like there were no smart people.

How many are there now? A good amount. You know, us. Well, what? That was a hot start. Us? I think there are smart people. But you've never thought of if you were put in the Wild West, you wouldn't rule the town?

Because of how smart you are. We just talked about this. Oh, like today if you put me in the Wild West? Yeah, if you time-traveled back to the Wild West. Or like the medieval times, dude. No way, Frank. Are you insane? You in the medieval times. Well, you're just the smartest guy in the world. What are you going to do? Dude, these people fight each other with swords. What are you going to do in that situation? I mean, you give me some time. I think I'd be... Also, they had poison back then. People were getting poisoned. Well, because they had food testers.

Right. So they'd be like, "Chew my food. They don't die. I'm good." You know? Also, I prepare my own food. How do you plan on taking over the town in a medieval village?

Well, I would have to be a good fighter. I would bring a lighter with me. You would bring a lighter? I'd bring a lighter with me. Oh, so you're walking into a time machine. So yes, that's what I just said. You like your time machine displaced. Okay. And I'd bring some stuff with me. I'd bring a lighter. Yeah. Uh, I would bring, they'd probably kill you as a witch immediately. If you showed the, no, because I'd be like, yo, you're crazy. I'm hexing all of you guys. Watch this fire from my hand. Yeah. But you can't hurt anyone with a, with a lighter. Yes, I can. How? I burn them.

Frank, if I have a sword and you have a lighter, I'm cutting your head off. I don't think. You don't think that? I don't think so. You're like, oh, I have a lighter. I could just. Oh, a bow and arrow. You didn't even ask me what else I was bringing. I'm bringing a handgun with a good amount of ammo. With a good amount of ammo. But you don't have a handgun. I'll go get one. If I know, like, oh, tomorrow I'm going on this time machine, I'm bringing a handgun with me. Okay. You know, and I'll bring a backpack filled with ammo, a couple lighters.

So you're just going back to Ray's hell. Yeah. Okay, good. This is so good. They'd be like, yo, oh yeah? Bang. Now what? I wouldn't even want to take over a village. Like, if I had a time machine, I don't think I would go back to like medieval times or... Oh, I wouldn't either. But if I had to, I would. Would you rather go in the past or in the future? Past. But where would you go?

So here's the question. There's so many questions I have right now. Well, there's one question that came from the question person, the question asker, and then you're supposed to give an answer. I have questions that will dictate my answer. Am I in my current form and is my at the time version of me there? Or is it just like I will take the version of whatever time I am in?

So like, that's a good question. So like, am I going to, if I go back to third grade, you're not going to look like this. Okay. So that's my question. Oh, your brain will be in your body. So like, so you would go back in your timeline. Yeah, I would, I would, I would do that a hundred percent, a hundred million percent. You wouldn't do that at all.

Go back to like when I was like 16. Yeah. I mean, 16, six, whatever you want. You can 20, you know, like last week you could go back, you know, like it doesn't matter, but like, right. But you could also go like way back and like, I don't know. Yeah. But then I'm just like a normal person in like the 1930s. What is cool about that? So why, why would you, so where would you go? I'd like to, I'd like to hang as myself, like as like a six year old.

You want to put your 33-year-old brain into a 6-year-old? Yeah. And then do what? Have a really fun time. All your friends are 6, Frank. This is weird. I don't care about hanging out with other people. So what are you going to do? You're not even allowed out. I'm going to play with my toys. What do you mean? You're going to put in a 6-year-old so that you have a bedtime, and then you're going to play with your toys? I would like to do that, yes.

I have all my toys, play with the toys. But you won't even have the nostalgic effect. Like you're, you're, you're, I would be like, I remember this. These are like, yeah. Cause they still have my current day brain. Oh, you want to live deja vu? Just like live for like a couple of days. Not, not too long. Okay. You know? And then I would tell my parents like, first of all, dad, come home. Right. Let's talk. There's this thing that's coming out called Google called Apple.

Apple had been out at that point. So was Google. We were six? I think so, right? I would say Google, Amazon, Apple. Bitcoin. Yeah. Well, that's in the future. I would tell them about that too. I would tell them that above anything. I would say all of those. Amazon, Google, Apple, Bitcoin, Uber maybe because Uber blew up. I would say put money into those things as soon as you can.

Don't fuck around. Do you think... Don't fuck around. This is coming from the body of a six-year-old, by the way. Yeah, I think my dad would not take me seriously. I don't think anybody would. You think your mom would be like, yes, six-year-old. And I'll be like, I can tell you things about yourself that you don't know that I know yet.

So I'll fuck with her But you can make that up A six year old could say that to you Like your daughter could be like No but like it would be real It would be I'm not saying like In the future But like at that time Be like by the way I know What's currently going on With you I know you haven't told us But like I'm I'm showing you I'm wise beyond my years here

You've watched a lot of movies. I have. Too many. I love how that's, that your plan is to play with your toys when you're six years old. That's so funny. You could do that now. It makes sense. Yeah, you could do that now. No, it's weird if I do it now. Okay. I mean, you'd still be you now in a body of a six-year-old.

I just think it would be cool. And then I would tell myself... Are you in school at six? Yeah, right? Yeah, you're in first grade. And then I would tell myself... Damn, we missed DeFilippi's class. Yeah, it was last name out there now. I would also tell myself, or my parents, I would say, like, go buy as many Pokemon cards as you can. Go buy as many, like, inbox Pokemon games. You realize you probably did say this at six, and they didn't do it. I can't...

They did not do it. They're like, okay. I would just like, I would really like, I'd come out a bajillionaire. Yeah. I would. How old? So this is 1998 you're saying you go back to? Yeah. I think, I think we would do pretty well for ourselves. I mean, I would, I would definitely, you know, tell my parents and stuff like in three years, stay out of Manhattan. There it is. Yeah. That one, I would probably, I mean, your parents weren't in Manhattan. True. So I would say spread the word about the island. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean then it was so you think that people are not gonna listen to me about Apple Google uber Amazon and Bitcoin Yeah, but they're gonna listen to you about an oncoming terrorist attack that kills 3,000 people. I'll be honest with you first of all I'm not going back to 1998 if I had a time machine. Oh, let me guess. Let me guess you're going back to 2013 so you could see 21 year old Joe and just be like hey stop shaving your head Let's talk about the future

Also, Young and Restless is not a good clothing brand investment right now. You should probably stop wearing it so much. Reckless. Did I say Restless? Yeah. Soap opera. That's a soap opera? The Young and the Restless, yeah. Do you watch soap operas? Is that a thing? Oh, okay. I was going to say that's bananas. But...

I wouldn't go back in my life. I would go way behind that. To do what? See what it was like. I mean, you can read about what it was like. Why do you need to see it? Frank, you already lived this. You can just remember it. But I forgot it. Your fault. And I'm setting myself up for the future. So are you going to be like, hey, young Warren Buffett,

Let's talk about like who I am to you and like how I can like once I'm born in 1992, how we can work together. No, I think if I had the choice to be like, you can go back to any time in life and experience that for a certain amount of whatever, like I wouldn't pick shit I've already experienced.

Why would I do that? Crazy. Because you want to re-experience it, re-solidify the memory in your brain, the feeling, so you could pass that along to future generations, whether they be your children, your grandchildren, or whatever. Instilling that sense of love and playfulness and childlike wonder, remembering what that is, reconnecting with your roots, and then give that to the next generation in order for them to maintain that is something that is wildly valuable. You don't think you could do that without a time machine?

You can remember everything. You remember your childhood. I remember a lot, but there's a lot I don't. Frank, you remember everything. I remember a lot. Yeah.

But there's a lot that I don't remember. And that's okay. I just think that it is exceptionally more important. Back at a time, by the way, when companies were way more playful with their marketing and stuff, there is a way to go back. Maybe I go back and I buy some green ketchup. Maybe I go back and talk to Robert Downey Jr. and I give him the push to accept the Iron Man role. Maybe I go back.

And I lend a helping hand to a young Christopher Reeve before he rode on that horse. You know, just do as much good as I can. These are all before you were born, no? Christopher Reeve, I think that happened in like 95. Oh, so when you were three years old, you're going to help him off the horse.

I would just say, hey, don't get on that horse, Mr. Reeve. All right. There's so much that I could do. The opportunities, the possibilities are truly endless. And we started talking about this because we were talking about a book from 1,400 years ago. Nope, that's not right. 1,200 years ago. Would you go back in your life or would you go back a different time or in the future? I mean, you wouldn't go back before Twisted Tees existed. Right, right.

I think it'd be cool to experience something that you have, like just sitting around looking. Oh my God, the first time you went to Disney? Dude, you're fucking... Actually, yeah. I mean, think about it. I don't know why that's not interesting to me. I mean, I want to go see pyramids being built. All right. Yeah. I mean, that would be super cool. Like, imagine... Whoa, they're being built. But yeah, but... Now what? You're going to come here and tell people and no one's going to believe you? It would be cool. Yeah, but we're going back to the same thing. You can make the same argument that you're six years old and you're like, oh, invest in Uber.

And your mom's going to be like, what the fuck is that? It's a car. It shows up and it's on a phone. She's like, I don't know what any of that means. Ant, am I in a...

Like a bubble and I could watch? Or do I have to be on the phone? Sure. Yeah, sure. If you want. You're in a bubble. Like the time machine. We're talking, what was that word? Westworld here. We got Westworld technology. You can kind of do whatever you want. If you want to pay for the service where you're just like a silent watcher. How about this? You can go back, but you're like your body, but no one knows that it's you.

You understand? Yeah, I get you. So like you could theoretically see yourself in whatever you go back to. Or you can go back and be like, mom, dad, I'm your son from the future. Yeah, I don't want to ruin everything. Let's talk. Guess what happens. I wouldn't do, I don't think you would get a lot out of that. But imagine you could go back and just know these questions that people have been wondering for so long. And you can go back and like actually figure, not figure out, but like witness something. Like that would be cool. Yeah, I don't really care.

All right. That's fine. I don't really care. I don't know how we got from Scotland to here. Because we were talking about how old those places are. And that's the thing that is so cool about Europe, too. Like, and why, you know, I guess where we grew up is kind of like, eh. Because things get torn down and built up all the time. So everything's, like, relatively new. Everything in this... Not everything, but, like, a lot of the stuff in those cities are from hundreds of years ago. Yeah. And they're very pretty. Yes, they are. But also, they're...

infrastructure is also clearly based off of things from hundreds of years ago because the plumbing and electric out there was not great. It's not perf. It's definitely not perf. We lost power in three straight Airbnbs. Bang, bang, boom. Three days in a row. No power, no power. Just because someone plugged in. By the way, not like plugged in like did a dumb American thing and plugged an American plug into something. It was a legit Scottish plug.

Yeah. And they fuck it went. We lost power. And then Mikey filmed it. I imagine it'll be available in some capacity, but like it was not fun to lose power. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, we didn't lose power for a long time. It wasn't that bad. We went through the blackout. You remember the blackout?

Would you go back on a time machine and go experience the blackout again? Why? It was kind of fun. I mean, from what I remember, I was actually in Connecticut for most of it. I wish I was older for that. So you'd get into trouble? No, get into trouble. I'm saying I wish I was like 19. That would have been dangerous. Why? That's like a thing. Ruby says that. No, no, no. I'm saying why would it be dangerous?

Being a 19 year old in a blacked out New York City for a week. Dude, you would have, you, us, would have gotten into trouble. I think that would have been cool. We played like soccer or something, didn't we? I was in Connecticut for most of the summer. Oh, okay. But yeah, during the day, but like bro, at night, remember there were like, I remember the small amount of time that I was here, there were like cops on every single corner because like, it was, bro, Astoria had no power for a week. Yeah. Yeah.

That was crazy. That shit was nuts. I was taking naps in the middle of the night. Naps. But my dad would have the car on so that we could sleep with AC because it was hot as hell. Yeah. Oh, wow. I didn't even think of that. Yeah, it was so hot. That is crazy. I remember when I was sleeping in the middle of the night. Then the lights came on. I was like... I mean, remember everyone thought it was another terrorist attack. Yeah. When was that? 2005, I want to say. Oh, so not that far away. Yeah, I would have been scared. This is such a weird...

thing that maybe has it doesn't add to the story at all but i remember hearing like a loud noise outside which i don't know if that's like real or if i'm making that up now because it's been so far or so long since this thing and hey arnold was on the tv and it was helga pataki and she was like confessing her love for arnold or something and the tv shut off and i was like

What the fuck? Like, who turned the TV off and then everything was off? Who interrupted my Hey Arnold? Who interrupted Hey Arnold? Great show. That was a pretty good show. Great show. Sick bedroom that kid had. Let me tell you, not many bedrooms I wanted to have that weren't mine. That was one of them, 100%. You loved your bedroom that much? I liked my bedroom, yeah. Which one? Because you've had three bedrooms. One, two, three. I actually had four in that house. So which was your fave?

I mean, my fave was when I was older, like in high school, and I had like my own little space. The basement? Yeah. That was fun. Go down to the right, you mean? To the right, yeah. I used to have the one to the left before that. Right, by the back door. Good time. I used to sleep with a knife under my pillow. Yeah. Which people apparently think that's crazy. Yeah. No one was breaking into your house. But we had a great time in Scotland. We went over to England. We had some proper... We had some fucking proper points. Yeah, we did. Bangers and mash. Yeah.

I didn't have any bangers in MASH. I had some sort of banger. What's a banger? A banger is a sausage in your mouth. Yeah. Yeah. There was just bangers in your mouth? People were banging your mouth? I see what you're doing here. That wasn't happening at all. We saw Buckingham Palace.

Buckingham Palace, which was super okay. Yeah, it was all right. I was expecting more, to be honest. Big Ben blew me out of the water. Big Ben was huge. Big... You listen. People talk about how big this thing is, and they're right, but no one talks about the girth of it. No one talks about how wide and thick Big Ben is. Big Ben's a big, thick Ben. Dude, like... Big guy. And shiny, dude. Shiny...

How do they keep it so clean? Bro, I don't know what is going on over there. It probably has a lot to do with, like, the crown and stuff like that. They're cleaning that clock. They're cleaning and polishing. All, like, the gold over there was, like, polished, brother. It was shiny as hell. And also...

Big Ben. Big Ben. Big Benjamin. I will say, from a distance, you're like, that's just a big clock. You get up close to this thing, and it's just like, That's a big clock! It's a big fat Ben. Yeah. That was a big old one. Oh my god, dude. The London Eye, saw it from afar. Yeah. I get it, it's a circle. It's a circle. When you're looking at the London Eye,

The best part about The London Eye is that if you turn around, you can see Big Ben. Big Ben right there being Big Ben right there. He's pretty big. That's the best part. He's pretty big, yeah. He's big. And there's also just like a lot of just old shit in that area. Spiky fences around Big Ben. You remember that? Big spiky fences. I'm like touching it. I'm like, dude, these are a killer person. Well, because they had to keep out intruders just in case someone wanted to scale Ben, but

But like you touch it, bro, you fall on that thing. It's done. You legitimately, if you took someone and threw them on it, they'd be impaled. Yeah. Dead. They got to keep Ben safe. So maybe what they're doing is they're polishing the gold. Yeah. They're looking up at big Ben and they're like, whoa. And they're just like, oh, keeping the, the, the,

What are you doing? They're keeping the fence pointy. Yeah, they're like filing it down and stuff like that. And they're just like, no one's going to get to our friend Ben. No one's going to do it. It's a very spiky fence and a very big Ben. They used to kill people by just like throwing them on spikes, right? Yeah. That was crazy. Yeah.

It's not. I wouldn't want that to happen. No way. I like touched the fence and I was like, oh, my finger. Can you imagine being impaled, bro? If you're falling from Big Ben, you're not living, dude. No way. You land on that. Like maybe if you land in the water because there's the River Thames right there. Yeah, but you. Maybe. No way, dude. But like you land on one of those pointy fences. I got to be really honest with you. Be honest. I'm off a pointy fence.

Like an iron pointy fence. A dangerous fence. Our fucking elementary school and my high school had those. What? It had a pointy fence? Yeah, yours did too, right? A lot of old schools in Queens have pointy iron fences, dude. I remember our fences, but I don't remember them being pointy. Hell yeah, they were pointy, brother. Do me a favor. Look up on Google Maps our elementary school. Oh, okay.

What? Just to prove a point. I know what it looks like. I'm just saying I just don't remember. Yeah, there were pointy fences up there. I do remember I pushed a kid named Demir, one of our friends, into a fence at a certain point. And they had little kind of spikes on him, and he chased me. Demir famously, by the way. Never got his paws on me. We said, like, hey, Demir, let's reconnect and talk. Messaged him, left on red, brother.

Absolutely. Big bang, boom. Yeah. I tell you what, you know who didn't get left on read? SeatGeek. Okay? SeatGeek is where you're buying all your tickets, okay? You're going to a live event. You're going to go see a team, an artist, a band.

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SeatGeek though, been using them for years, like I said, and you can save some money. So we're going to save you some money. You want to buy tickets to something? Let's go. My sister just used my code the other day. She went to a comedy show. Yeah, so go download the SeatGeek app and use the code BASEMENT2025 for 10% off of your next set of tickets at SeatGeek, okay? That's any tickets on there, 10% off with that code BASEMENT2025. Okay, so go enjoy that, folks. And we also have FitBud.

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TheBasementYard.com slash TheBasementYard backslash. It's definitely not a thing. TheBasementYard.com slash TheBasementYard? No. What would that even be? Head on over to TheBasementYard slash TheBasementYard.

Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Let us join you and hang out. We tell you guys about Patreon all the time, so make sure you go check it out. You join that first tier, you get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance. And in that second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single week.

Friday. They're kind of all over the place, just like I am right now while doing this. So go check it out, patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. And if you can, make sure you actually go to the patreon.com website and sign up because Apple is on to something and I don't know what it is. But go to patreon.com slash TheBasementYard on your web browser, sign up, and come along for the party. It's going to be fun.

Come along for the party. Basementyard.com slash The Basement Yard. That'll bring you right to the basement. All right. I have a question for you. Did you have a proper English breakfast while we were out there? No.

No, but I did the last time I was there. And it was great. Beans on toast, dude, is good. I said that. I had an English breakfast and an Irish breakfast. I think the only difference is, like, the whole, like, pudding situation. What kind? One's a black pudding? Well, I think they call it different things. Like, I don't want to get into it, and the Irish people will fuck me up. But, like...

There was also white pudding on the Irish breakfast. White pudding? Yeah, it's like... Rice pudding? No, it's white. So there's black pudding, which is like pig's blood and stuff. And then white pudding, which is just like fat and animal balls or some shit. And I gotta say... The balls were good?

They were not the balls, but like the puddings that were presented. The presented puddings were delicious. Yeah. I really liked them. They figured it out, dude. Love beans, too. You know how I feel about beans. Dude, beans and toast is good. Why do people shit on it? Well, I think they shit on it because it's just like it's such a strange combination. You know, like beans are and I know we're speaking as filthy, dumb people.

you know, Americans. I mean, if you put beans on a hot dog, that's bread and beans. But the hot dog is the star of that. Yeah. Like, the hot dog is the, the hot dog is the guardian of the galaxy. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's not a side player in the movie. Okay. Like, the beans on top are meant to accompany the hot dog. Where the beans on toast, it's just like beans on toast.

Yeah, but that's like a side. It's not like that's your full breakfast is beans on toast. Like, that's a big part of the breakfast, dude. Those are both very filling. I think everyone gets to shine, though. I agree. They have like it all spread out. It is also just like a random like assortment. Like who in their right mind would have been like beans for breakfast?

I don't know. Again, I don't hate it. I like it. I love beans. Yeah. But just with everything else, it was just like, all right, this is a strange. And then there were bangers on there. There was puddings on there. Eggs on there. You know. Eggs. How do you. Was this your first fish and chips that you had? Proper? No. But fish and chips is good. I don't know. What kind of fish is that? I don't even know. Cod, I think. Right. And have you ever had fish and chips? Yeah, I don't like it. I will say the chips out there are better.

I think so. Well, because there are potato... Everything of our food over here is trying to kill us. I wish I had a dollar for every time you said that while we were there. It's true. Frank, you would eat everything and be like, this is so good. You know why? Because there's poison in American food. I mean, there is. There is. Let's be honest. I'm being... But like, it just... Everything was just better. And the Guinness...

The Guinness was great. And we learned how to pour it. Split the G a few times. We didn't split the G a few times. Joey split the G a few times. You split the G. Once, but you were on a roll for a sec. I don't know if that's good or bad. It's probably great. And then we got an insight. We went to the Guinness factory, which was amazing. If you guys are ever out in Dublin, go to the Guinness factory. It's like Willy Wonka and the Guinness factory, basically. Yeah, it is. It's very colorful. There's screens. There's things moving. We walked into one room and

I thought we were in lumen. Like, it was like... Yeah, a little severance. It was white. Yeah, everything was white. Very white. Very white. And then there were just, like, little things to smell. Remember that? There was, like, these pillars. Yeah. And there was smoke pillowing out of them, and then you smell them, and it's like, that's yeast. And then... So... There was, like, this is yeast, this is that, and then there was this other shit, and he's like, this is, like...

There was a word for it that I can't remember. Barley. No, no, no. Pops. No. It was the thing that... This is what the guys smelled like. Oh, the guys would come home. It was like the sweetened something, and they'd come home, and they were like, sweet. Yeah, and like, oh, their wives loved them because they smelled like this. And then at the end of it, he was like, which one was your favorite scent? And I was like, the guys. Oh.

I like the men. Yeah. And then we went and then we had a Guinness and then, and then they, they do your picture on the, Oh yeah. I forgot about that. They do your picture on the Guinness. I just got to say this. We did have a competition on who had the better Guinness for Frank and Mikey, Mikey, Mikey and I won. Yep. And, uh, I, I was fully ready to concede. I thought my poor looked like shit.

The expert, though. The expert, he knows, but I also, like, before that, I was just like, say it's mine, please. I don't know if he actually listened or if he, like, legitimately, you know, I guess he's been tampered with. There was a camera around, so he probably felt like he had to say it. Yeah, he might have been tampered with. You tampered with him. But, yeah, no, the Guinness factory was a really good time. And then they have a bar on top of the factory. Oh, yeah. It's like a panoramic view. Awesome. Yeah, it was really cool. I had, like, a moment, like, looking out and just being like,

I'm in Dublin. We're in Dublin. Yeah. I will say, just as a whole, pub culture out there is very different. Like, Americans, like, in America, when you drink, you drink to go. You know what I'm saying? Like, you drink to get drunk. Over there, it's, like, very casual. Like, for lunch, they'll have a pint or two and then go back to work and just be like, let's do the rest of our day. I also just love how, maybe this is like...

I thought it was interesting that there were so many women also outside the Irish pubs drinking beers. Because I feel like that's not something you really see. Yeah, because Americans were just like, you're a lady? Here, I have this skinny little mini binti teeny teeny beeny beeny for you. Yeah. Where it was like, man, you want something? Drink this fucking beer. Yeah. And also there's a lot of guys out in suits and stuff in the middle of the day or whatever, and they're just outside. I'm like, this is so awesome.

It was like, it is crazy. Just like not of a party atmosphere. It was, you know what I mean? Like, bro, we were there when we landed in London. It was like Monday afternoon. Yeah. Pubs were filled. Like, and like not afternoon, like 4 PM. Like people might've gotten off work early. It was like two, one. Yeah. And like, I'm not even talking filled. Like inside was filled.

Inside was filled and then the street and across the street outside. That we need to bring. We do. Because we had it during COVID, but then it's gone where it's like you can go into a pub, get a pint, and then stand out on the sidewalk. And they make all the pubs with like a shelf so you can put your beer right there. And not even just like immediately outside. Like remember that one we went to before the London show? People were across the street.

Yeah. Down the block on the corner and then they bring their glasses back. Yeah. This is, you know, Americans. We would have taken that shit so quick. Have you ever taken a glass from a beer place? I'll tell you someone who has. My mother. Oh, I stole two of them. Bro. I was like, what the fuck are you doing? I know an old white woman that also steals like glasses and wine glasses from bars. Like it's just like a. Who? Not like often, but like has done it. Who? Becca's mom. He's trying.

Becca's mom, dude. Her mentality. I think it's just like a thing. She's done it I think like twice and she's just like, I paid for this. I'm taking it. And it's like, that's the wildest, most American. You paid for the thing in the cup. Yeah, no. My mom was like, oh, these are really nice. And it had like the brewery's logo on it. Yeah.

I was like, taking one. I was like, taking two is insane. Yeah, I think after the second time, Becca's mom was just like, I probably shouldn't do that again. We walked outside. I'm just hearing, cling, cling. I'm like, what the fuck is that? Did you steal glasses? She's like, yeah. Old people love taking stuff and just saying it's theirs. My dad, when we would go to Cracker Barrel, would steal, without exaggeration, every time, at least 12 or 13 of the mini bottles of the Cracker Barrel syrup.

Like pancake syrup? Yeah. What is he going to do with that?

Put it on pancakes, brother. Really? Have you ever been to a Cracker Barrel? I'll be honest with you. I've never been there. I don't know what it looks like, and I always get it confused with crate and barrel. Yeah, that's fair. I used to think that you would go buy furniture, but there was also food there because of the way people talked about it. Well, that's Ikea, and it sounds great. You've been to a Cracker Barrel? Never. It's called the Cracker Barrel Old Country Mill. It's like southern...

style food where it's just like, you know, fried chicken, you know, chicken fried steak. Pulled pork? I don't know. I haven't been in quite a while. I don't think my body can physically handle going back. Is it like fast food? Is it buffet? It's like IHOP. It's like a chain like IHOP. But like not as bad as IHOP. But like IHOP. You know what I mean? IHOP does pancakes well. No, they don't. They do. I won't say. I've never walked out of an IHOP and been like,

That was yummy. I've walked out and said, like, what is happening in my body could only be attributed to, like, Robert Oppenheimer. There might be something going on with you. I think that pancakes are just pancakes. There definitely is something going on with you. You've had a pancake that tasted different than other pancakes? Of course I have. I feel like pancakes taste the same. No, I've had better pancakes, better, like, whether they're buttermilk or, like, people do, like, whole wheat pancakes. But that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying, like, just a pancake, a regular pancake. I've had—there is definitely a hierarchy to pancakes. Right.

Really? I've never felt a difference in pancakes. They look... The way they look, yeah. You definitely... Then you're not having enough pancakes. I'm not having enough pancakes. So then you need to up your pancake game. Because a good pancake and a bad pancake, there is like a fucking kilometer difference between the two. Oh, I don't even know. But...

I forgot what I was saying. I did that. Crack and barrel. Crack and barrel. Cracker barrel. Cracker barrel. But like the front is like you could get like, you know, like little trinkets and stuff like that. Like you could buy like a flamingo pot for your front porch or you could buy like old timey 1920s bubble gum. Like it's just weird. And then it's a restaurant in the back. They sell merch at this place? Yeah. And then like in the back, it's like Hard Rock Cafe.

In the back. I've also never been. You just gasped. That was crazy. I've never been in a rock hard. It's like Rainforest Cafe. Rock hard cafe. Yeah. Hard rock, brother. You've probably been to a rock hard cafe. Might have been there. The rock hard cafe. Maybe after you saw Big Ben, you went right to the rock hard. Honestly? Maybe. And you've been through a hard rock. I almost went with rock hard too. I got you. We went to the rehab pool party in Vegas. Yeah.

Oh, you didn't went to rehab pool party in Vegas. Yeah, I wasn't ever been to rehab. I know. But yeah, no, I don't think so. But like, so Cracker Barrel's known for their maple syrup. Okay. And we would go. So all the times we like drove down to the south to see my family, when my dad would drive us, we would stop at every Cracker Barrel on the way. Which, guess how many Cracker Barrels there are on the way to Jacksonville, Florida? Hundreds, probably. At least...

15 and without exaggeration breakfast lunch and dinner we would stop at Cracker Barrel because my dad was obsessed and he would get there and he thought he was running like a Lufthansa heist level fucking racket where he's going in and they're like he orders pancakes and he's like bring me five bottles of your syrup you don't need to you know we know we already know about my father five bottles we already know about my father they're like nips they're nips and then they would go

And he would, they would bring them and he'd put them in his like jacket. And my dad was wearing like Adidas track suits that had like the jacket, like the pocket in here was like mesh on the inside. So the fucking waiter or waitress would come, they drop the bottles. And then my, my dad would put them in his pockets and they'd come back and be like, how's everything doing? Everything okay? He's like, I never got my bottles of syrup.

And they're like, "Oh my God! I'm so sorry!" And they'd go and he'd do that another, like, time. Why does anyone need that much syrup? My father is clearly diabetic! That's so weird. And he would- Would he just drink 'em?

No, he would put them on his pancakes. But like why would you but you're in the place where they have the syrup? I don't know! Why would you need more? I don't know dude. And like you don't have pancakes in your car. But then he would leave with them. Right. So at his house, we would open his fridge and there was on the fridge door dozens of nips of Cracker Barrel syrup. It's so unnecessary. So stupid. How much money did you save? And then next to it, he would have

A regular sized jar of it that he would buy. So he would basically get a two for one special. How much money does he think he's saving by robbing these places of syrup? My father. Come on. It's unbelievable. We would walk out and he would be giddy. Got him again. Because he would think like, get in the car, get in the fucking car.

I pulled one over on them. And the wool over your eyes. And these fucking pockets were so heavy with these glass bottles of maple syrup. They're glass? Yeah. Bottom, like, the last fucking track jacket. This guy would think, like, I got them. And they would just be like, all right, see you later. Like, they fucking clearly knew. That's so crazy. It was. Also, they're probably just like, dude, you're not. Like, we will give them to you if you want. They're free. Jesus.

Just ask them. Just ask. And we will give you this free maple syrup that we're offering. Oh, man. I've never been there, so I don't know. Save yourself the time. I love syrup, though, dude. I know. I do, too. But if you had a bowl, like a regular bowl.

Right. Of like a cereal bowl. But it was filled with syrup and you had a straw. How long is it taking you to finish? Oh, I'm dying before I finish that bowl. Let's say. Let's say there's no health repercussions. No health repercussions. It's still very sweet. Yeah. I put like real maple syrup sweet and like, you know, fake, you know, like old county mill or whatever it's called. Old. Oh, Pearl Milling. Something like that.

That is like, I can't have that. But like real maple syrup, I could probably get a cup or two down. That's so crazy. I mean, I'd hate myself immediately afterward. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever see videos of people just like chugging like a bottle? Well, that's what I, a bowl of maple syrup is what is in my morning routine now. What? I shove my face into a bowl of maple syrup. Oh, I see what you're doing. I was like, what are you talking about? Can you imagine? Thebasicyard.com slash thebasicyard.

Don't forget to go to TheBasementYard.com. Well, everyone is talking about this whole morning routine. Ashton Hall. Hall. Thank God I wasn't going to say what I thought the real last name was. Kutcher? No, I was going Tate. Ashton Hall. It's been everywhere. We haven't gotten a chance to talk about it because we were in Europe the whole day. I don't mean. Yeah.

released his morning routine. He's been doing it. I've seen this guy. Josh always sends me his videos. Why? I mean, first of all, the guy is shredded like a bag of mozzarella. The guy's shredded huge like Big Ben. Bringing that back. He wakes up. He tapes his mouth. Have you done that? No, I have not.

Have you done anything with sleep before? Like a mask or... I mean, I've had to do... There was like a summer where like my snoring was bad. So I had a mouthpiece. A summer? Yeah, honestly. And then it just stopped. Okay. And I had a mouthpiece. But like all these like get slim quick schemes of like sleeping with tape over your mouth or something like that. Bro.

There's this thing on TikTok where people have like, it's the TikTok shop. So they make a video and they talk about a product. And if people buy through their link, they make money. So people just make up the wildest stories. And there was one I saw where it was like they picked a random celebrity. And it may have been, it probably wasn't Tom Hardy, but like they'll be like, Tom Hardy is saying that people are getting uglier.

And this is why. Wait, hold on. Can we? If you tape your mouth, then your jaw, like they'll show people like a before and after where they're like this. And then the next photo, they use tape. Like this is just after two weeks. And they're like 100 pounds lighter. Do we know for sure if Tom Hardy is calling people ugly? No, we don't. So how do you know that this marketing technique is not based off truth, Joey? Because the whole thing is a fallacy. That's why.

I'd be afraid to sleep with the pigs. Tom Holland's out here and says, all you guys are fat pigs. Yeah. But like... I spoke to Jimmy Kimmel last week and he said, everyone is disgusting as hell. Have you ever worn one of those nose straps? When I was younger, like the sticky ones, but not the magnetic ones. Those are amazing. They just like... Didn't you say you wore one and you could like smell the earth or something? Bro, I've literally... I've never had the most... I've never had the most...

I've never had that much oxygen. Why is it so hard for me to say? You still fucked it up. You've never had that much oxygen. See, you got to pause. Much oxygen. Much oxygen. Much oxygen. I've never had that much oxygen. There you go. There we go. In my nose. Like, I had, like...

There's like a bendy thing in this thing and it sticks your nose and it opens up your nostrils like this. Yeah, but like I don't – like you don't get that thing where like when your nostrils are too like unobstructed. And then it gets cold. It gets cold up there. Yeah. And it's freezing. And I want warmth back in my nose. I agree. But it's not like that because it only opens up like this part. It doesn't open up like your sinuses. Yeah. So it like –

But I like it a lot to have that. Well, yeah, so he's taping his mouth. He's waking up. Waking up at like 321 a.m. Listen, I don't know Ashton at all. I think he's a former NFL player, if that's not mistaken. I have no idea. I know that there's a lot of discipline that comes with being a professional athlete. If you don't need to wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning, don't wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning. And if you do...

Shut up about it. 4 a.m. wake-ups? Just like, the only people that tell you that they wake up early are the people that wake up early. You know what I, like, that's not what I meant. How? That's not what I meant. The only people at thebasemeyard.com slash thebasemeyard at thebasemeyard oxygen the only people that like

I'm just going to stop. I feel like you were going to repeat the same thing. The only people that talk about waking up early are the people that do it for no reason. You know what I mean? It's just like, I get up every day at 4 a.m. now. It's just like, way to go. Way to fucking go. 4 a.m. is a little early. He also says he goes to sleep at like 8 p.m.

Crazy. Yeah, it's just kind of wild. That's what I was gonna say. The same people that say that usually go to sleep at 6:30 p.m. Like Mark Wahlberg's another one. He's like, "Yeah, I'm up at 3:10 getting it." And he's just like doing pull-ups. Bro, he wakes up that early to just pray. He does have some prayer. He stays prayed up, as he says. Stay prayed up. Yeah. There's a video of him praying in his house and he turns around he's like,

Stay prayed up. It's like, come on, Mark. Dude, it's 4 a.m. No one's watching. I mean, it's better than what he used to do back in his old days. There was some stuff there. There was some stuff. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I don't know. But anyway, this guy wakes up. He does the face cold plunge thing.

I've never done it. Okay, and it's with Saratoga Water. Yeah. Have you ever had Saratoga Water? No, I've never heard of it until these videos. Oh, I've had it. It's good water. It's expensive water. If I'm this dude, I need millions.

I mean, I can imagine off of this video alone, this guy got... If some company has to be coming in being like, yo, use our water, we'll pay you this much. And it would be worth it for them. I mean, I think I saw something that was just like Saratoga Water, their sales skyrocketed after this. Yeah. Hey, everyone... I mean, all the people parroting... Parrity-ing. Parrity-ing. All the people...

parodying all the people doing a parody of this bought all the people doing a parody of these videos bought a lot of Saratoga water in it so my god yeah it's tough but yeah so he wakes up and he goes to the pool and he just like and then he just does sprint workouts and he's just sprinting but he also has like a bodyguard

That he has with him? God damn. Bro, if I... God damn. This guy is yoked with a capital WOAH. Whoa, dude. We just found out Frankie's type. No. No, I mean, dude, look at this guy. I mean, clearly whatever he is doing is working. There is a level of discipline that comes with that morning routine. Like, he's also probably eating only, like, kale.

You know what I mean? Like, he uh... I just don't get the whole like... Oh, and the banana thing at 8:43 in the morning. Doesn't he rub his face with it? He rubs his face with the banana peel, which I don't know... Why? What's the science behind that? Oh no, is this being marketed as like an alpha male thing? Have the alpha males taken this again? No, I don't think so.

I think it's just this dude doing his morning routine, and it's just like that. It's like ASMR, too. Is there science behind the rubbing of the banana peel? None that I'm aware of. I didn't look into it. I don't know. Because, honestly, the cold water in the face thing, that's just an ice plunge. That's just an ice bath, but just for your face to tighten up your skin. Right. See, I didn't even know that.

Oh, yeah. Well, that's what the cold water does. Hot water... Uh-oh. Here we go. So, apparently, rubbing banana peels on face, it creates glowing skin, reduces wrinkles, acts as a moisturizer, hydrates the skin, helps in collagen production, treats acne, treats sun damage, and reduces under-eye darks. Also, by the way, what website is this from? Yeah, this is just a photo we're seeing. I'm good on rubbing a banana on my face. I mean, if it were to, like, help, it is said to...

sagging skin, brighten complexion, and reduce wrinkles. I mean, it's not impossible. I don't think it's impossible. I don't think that rubbing a banana on your face does nothing. I just wouldn't want to smell like a banana all day. I mean, I imagine, because doesn't he do this, and then he goes and works out and then showers and stuff and has a day? Oh, yeah, maybe. So it's not like he's just like, before I leave, rubbing a banana peel on his face. Yeah. Here's my thing. Clearly, it's working for this guy. Good for him.

Would you ever get Botox? No. Because society has not placed a standard on me as a man to get Botox. Because aging as a man is different from aging as a woman. What does the aging as a woman thing have to do with what you just said? Well, because there's more pressures on women. I feel I am blessed. My male privilege has provided me with the opportunity to not feel a societal pressure in order to get Botox. No, I'm saying would you get it? No, I don't want to.

Now I'm asking how those things are related. I was making a point. I was, yeah, I was on my soapbox, babe. I, I, yeah, I know you were up there. No, but like, seriously, like I, I don't, I don't want to, but also there is because there is less pressure on me as a man to age. Uh huh. So like, that is a real, that is a real thing.

I don't even- but I'm like, I'm legitimately confused by what you're saying. What is confusing about what I'm saying? You're saying no, but your reasoning is like- No, because I don't want to. Right. Because I don't feel the pressure to have to look younger. Oh, oh, that's what you're saying. I was like, I don't know what you're saying. How are you not- 2 and 2! 2 and 2, brother! 2, 2, 2, 4! Frank, I asked you if you wanted Botox, and you started talking about women. Yeah, because of the societal standard and shit like that. I'm not even talking about that, I'm asking you! My reasoning is because I don't feel pressure!

I want to. That I'm understanding. But when you started being like, well, there's pressure on women. And I'm like, you're a man. You saw how high I got up there? That was actually impressive, honestly. You sound like Elmo. I'm just, here's the thing. What if we get to 50,000 patrons? Will you get lip injections? No way. What about a BBL? A BBL? Will you get a BBL? Absolutely not. Also, I heard that's a dangerous procedure. People have died. Really? Yeah. All right. What about this?

You know, people get Botox in their pits so they don't sweat. Would you do that? No, because I don't really sweat much. Me neither. I'm not a big sweat man. I think if I had a big issue, I would do it. Yeah, I mean, I know people, well, you don't sweat much? No, no, my pits. Oh, yeah, your head sweats like crazy. Can you get Botox on your head to stop? See? I don't know. I would be afraid to, like, not have a moving head, you know? I knew a boy that got Botox and, like, he literally was just like, hey, I'm not a big

Just like that. Hey. If you found out, like, if there was, like, legit signs to come out, there's like, yo, by the way, this banana peel thing is legit. You gonna start? Yeah, why not? I eat bananas pretty regularly. So you just eat the banana and then just kind of... Bing, bing, bing. But I do, like, moisturizing. I don't like the feel that bananas leave on your hand. It's like this. You know what I'm talking about? It's like... It's a little... It's a little, like, slippery, but, like... Grainy, too. It stops. It stops.

I don't know that I've had... I don't know what you mean by that. You know what I'm talking about. Where, like, your hand, like, kind of, like, starts to glide, but, like, it's like... You know what I'm saying? I do. Thank you, Ant. I got you. Unbelievable. We do have some more sponsors before the...

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The thing that pisses me off about this, because it's clearly working for him, good for him, is now, like, all the companies that are, like, posting images and videos of their morning routine. Like, McDonald's, it was like a bowl of McDonald's Sprite. And, like, they're... Just, like, it's just, like, it's... What would happen if you stuck your face into a bowl of McDonald's Sprite? I'm coming out looking like...

A fucking skeleton, like Creepshow. I feel like my hair on my face would turn orange. Do you think you could really tell the difference between McDonald's drinks and non-McDonald's drinks? Absolutely not. Oh, okay. I thought you were going to say yes. You? No way. Any other drink? Probably not. No, no, no. But like a regular Coca-Cola and a fountain McDonald's Coca-Cola. Oh, for sure. Fountain's different. Don't they also, they put like water in it. Oh, my God. Well, yeah, because you'll see like the fountain, they'll do like half of it will be like the syrup and the other half will be just seltzer.

Is that what that is? Yeah. If you look really closely, that's why on... I've seen a video of someone like separating them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, basically. That's why like also on a lot of soda machines, they have a button that's just seltzer water. You know, which crazy. I got to tell you, one of the greatest inventions of the 21st modern century has been that big machine that has like hundreds of sodas in it. Oh, the digital one? Where you're just like, I want Coke and there's 80 different types of Coke and it's just... But like who's...

Who's having like peach Coca-Cola? You know what I'm saying? Is that a flavor? It's got to be up there. They have a bunch of those. Were you a vanilla Coke guy? So good. Vanilla Coke? Disgusting. Oh, I think I've had vanilla Coke. What are the other Cokes that's been out? There was like Coke Twist. Black Cherry Coke. Or Pepsi Twist. Black Cherry Coke is the best. Black Cherry Coke is good. It's basically just Dr. Pepper. There was like lime or lemon.

Let's see. Oh, we're at the official Coca-Cola website. Cherry Coke. Yeah. I don't think I've ever had that. Coke Vanilla. Disgusting. Get it out. I'll kill someone. Zero sugar. Come on. That's it? What the hell? Yeah. No, there's way more than that. I can look up the big magic machine. Yeah, look up the big magic machine. But, like, I was just a classic Coca-Cola guy. When they started throwing, like, lemon and, like, fucking, you know, stuff in there. You know what I hate?

The Tostitos chips that have like a lime zest? Gross. You know what's the grossest chip I've ever had? They used to make, they were like guacamole flavored ones.

Tostitos? Yeah. They made a guacamole chip? They were disgusting. Why do I need to be- Look at all those sodas, dude. Pib. Pib is just- That's- Isn't that- So we have- Okay, so cream soda Coca-Cola. Joey would probably fucking cum in his pants for that. Oh, there is a peach. I told you there's a peach. What is tropical Coke? What is tropical Coke? All right. They're not even trying to hide it. They're trying to kill us. Orange Coca-Cola? Is it orange soda? Yeah, what are we doing here? Like, why not just go with the classic Fanta? Or what was the other one?

Crush. Crush. Dude, Slice. Remember Slice? Slice! Slice was a good one. I liked Slice better. Yeah, I don't know. So, all right, go back. All right, you're... Go back again. I hate soda. One more fucking time. I'm trying. All right, so, Joey, you're going to the movies, because this is where I've seen this most recently. I haven't seen this at, like, a restaurant or anything. You're going to the movies. First of all... I'm not getting soda. Give me...

Play around what I'm telling you is that around Joey what I'm telling you is that I'm getting a slushy Disgusting what because those are the airy slushies those aren't the good ones you want them you want the you gotta let it melt a little bit before I go slush puppy You don't want the slushy icy ones. No, I don't I don't mind that you gotta let it you gotta let it Whatever all right, so you can't get that because the machine is broken and I would shoot you in the back of the head mm-hmm

Which one of these am I getting? So you order. First of all, you go to the front. You get pretzel nuggets. Duh. And you get a popcorn. And knowing you, you'll get like snow caps or something. Snow caps? What am I, already dead? My grandma loved those. All right. You'll get cookie dough bites. Cookie dough bites. Yeah. Or Mike and eggs. Or Mike and eggs or peanut M&M's. Peanut M&M's. Yeah. All right. We're free, honestly. So now you have your salty. You have your sweet.

What are you getting for soda? You're going to this machine. You got to press one of these machines. Let me see. Scroll down a little bit. What do we got here? I'm going Coca-Cola. What the fuck is Mellow Yellow? They call me Mellow Yellow. It's basically a Mountain Dew. Yo, Minute Maid Lemonade, the ice pops are good.

Yo, Minute Maid lemonade is more sugar than I think sugar is sugar. Does that make sense? I've never tasted something so sweet. I think, all right, I'm going to guess. You already know what I'm going to guess. I'm going to guess here. This is easy, Frank. I'm going to guess here. It's easy. I'm going to give three answers. There's only one and you know it. Scroll down then, please. I'm going to say it's going to be, you said you're not getting soda? No, I mean, if you're making me get soda, I'll get soda. I'm making you get soda. Scroll up.

I think Joey is going with a Barks. Yeah, I am. I knew it! I'm getting that root beer. He's getting that Barks root beer. Scroll up, I said. Now. Oh. You just want to look at the logo? There it is. Yeah, I'm getting a root beer. But they have like different flavored vanilla root beer. Not vanilla, no. I'm getting like classic root beer. If I'm not going with Coca-Cola, and I decide to be a little playful and fun and naughty, what one do you think am I going with? Naughty. Scroll down? Sure.

Would you get a Dr. Pepper? I'm not a giant Dr. Pepper guy.

It's not naughty enough for me. Not naughty enough for me. I need something filthy. Oh, you'd get a Hi-C. I might. Yeah, you would. I might get a Hi-C. I've watched you get a Hi-C. A fruit punch, baby. That straight red 40 into my veins. Yeah. What the hell is pineapple Hi-C? I don't know, but that sounds delicious. I love pineapple stuff. I will say this. I don't like pineapples. Yeah, vanilla Hi-C is crazy. That's disgusting. Oh, I love pineapples. I don't like love them, but I love pineapple flavored things.

See, that's so funny you say that because that's how I am with bananas. I love bananas. I don't like banana flavored things at all. Same with orange. Actually, orange is the exception. I love oranges and I often like orange flavored things, but like or green apples.

Oh man, you get me going, I love a good green apple, a nice little tart, you know, and crisp and refreshing, but the moment you have green apple flavored something, I'm gonna take my head and I'm gonna put it into a lawnmower and I'm gonna have it going full speed. You hate green apple. I know that you absolutely hate that. Well, like, the flavoring is just like, it's not actual gle- peep? It's not actual- It's not actual-

It's not actual green apple flavor. It's just sour. That's it. I just don't like it, but... Yeah, I think you're right. I think I'm going high C, high C fruit punch. I've gotten a high C at like a Subway before. Eat fresh. What did you say? I do like Sprite a lot. Strawberry Sprite probably fucking kills me. What is lemonade Sprite? Strawberry shit is so good. Yeah, but it's not... Again, this is America.

None of this is actual strawberry flavoring. It's just chemicals. It's like made of like, yeah, it did. Duh. But like you go to other, bro, did you ever see when we were in London, we stopped at like a convenience store. Have you ever seen what like real bottled lemonade looks like and what American bottled lemonade looks like? No. Dude, look up England, like London bottled lemonade or any other country for ours is like yellow or like opaque lemonade.

And theirs is like clear because that's what it is. Like it is – ours is just sugar water. Lemonade and like they're selling lemon water? Is that what you mean? No, no, no, no, no. Like real lemonade is not – Say, that looks opaque to me, Chief. No, no, no, no. That's not the one I was talking about. I guess we're not going to be able – it's going to be too niche to find. So it's not even worth like looking up. Gotcha. But yeah, dude. Everything here is just fucking dumpster fuel. Second time.

Got him. Second time what? The Americans are poisoning us, which is happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're getting poisoned for sure. Yeah, it's all right. It's fine. We'll have a fun time while we're doing it. Yeah. We'll eat our... Just rub a banana on your face and you'll be good. We were told that people, when they go to America, it's like they want to try the American fast food. Which is interesting. I feel like that would be the last thing that I would want to try. Bro, when we were at the hotel in Dublin...

We asked the concierge, like, oh, like, what should we try? And he was like, oh, spice bag, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, also, you need to try Irish Burger King. We were like, what? He's like, yeah, it's, like, incredible. I'm like, huh? Burger King? I don't know. Didn't make any sense. Dude, Dublin also, like, when I was there and then getting home, like,

I've been seeing shit on TikTok. It's like a very underrated city for food. Yeah. All the food that we had there was great. I tried my best to just get as much traditional Irish food as I could. Yeah. Stews and pies and... Big fat pie. Oh, my God. That shepherd's pie I had was crazy. What's up? How'd you feel about the London food? Because when I went, I didn't really like it. We went to a really nice Korean barbecue place that was good. Yeah, that was good. And then...

We had like two or three times like Lebanese because everything close. Lebanese food was great.

When we were there, it was like stuff legitimately was not open to eat past like 9.30. Yeah. So the options were super limited. The shows are tough because it's like you have to order shit to the green room and you can't really find anywhere to eat afterwards. You can do it in the States because things are open later. I will say that salad that we had before one of the London shows was – I'm not even kidding. One of the best salads I've had in my entire life. It was unbelievable. I don't even remember the name of where it was, but it was a big –

Fatty yeah, well it was and had a lot of shit in it. I had goat fantastic goat cheese hell Yeah, uh Dublin that's where we had the good cheeses. Yo, I couldn't believe I Could not believe how good these cheeses were I ate

maybe a pound and a half of cheese before I went on to stage. Like, not... That's crazy. Bro, I couldn't... I had to remove myself because I was sitting right next to the cheese. I had to remove myself because I was like, I'm going to eat this whole thing. It's like, I got to get out of here. I had to remove myself. The cheese was so good.

I forget whose idea it was to put a charcuterie on the rider, but that was such a good idea. I think it was like you and I were just like, let's ask them for charcuteries. So good. Unbelievable stuff. Jeez, man. Anyway, just want to say, you know, this is our first episode that we're recording, you know, after we got back from Europe, but...

honestly, super crazy to, you know, kind of do that. I know for me, when I like walked through my door and then I was like going to sleep that night, I was like, what the hell did we just do? Like that is, it was so crazy to, I don't know. I think even now, like if we're going to like do a show or something, it's still scary to be like, oh, do people still care? Or like,

Are they going to show up? Or they bought tickets so long ago. Like, do they remember that the show is tonight? And then going there and getting such crazy support. And it was just like in every city, there were people who were recognizing us and being super nice to us. Everyone at the Guinness factory was like super nice to us too. Like it was just, it was just a wild feeling. And I, and it's, it's one thing for it to happen where you're from, but then to have it happen in a completely different way,

And then also driving through towns that are not, you know, giant cities or whatever, and then people recognizing you there, kind of. That was also weird. It's like, I don't know, it just kind of put everything into perspective of how...

out of control and big this thing has gotten, you know, I guess with the help of the internet, because everyone has access to that. But yeah, I just wanted to say, you know, it's, it's, it was really cool, you know, getting all that support from people and all the crowds were, you know, super nice. And yeah, everyone was just super fucking cool. I, it's, it's hard to even imagine or not imagine it's, it's hard to put into words of,

you know, what that felt like. It's a crazy feeling, honestly. And I just wanted to say thanks. It was really cool. But I got nothing to add. Nothing to add. All right. And yeah, just wanted to say thanks. And that is all. You guys can go follow Frank, the Frank Alvarez. Everywhere. You know where to find us. You know where he is. Go check it out. And guys, go follow the show at The Basement Yard. And like Frank was saying earlier, if you're going to sign up for the Patreon, do it through like a website, not on your phone, because there's like a

30% not through an app. You can go to the browser. You can go to the browser on your phone, but okay. So yeah, do, do that. Um, and then download the app after that. But yeah, so that's all. And we'll see you guys next time. Bye.