#509 - We Made A Country Song
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Welcome back to the Bay.

Welcome back to the basement yard. Tipped your cap. Thank you so much, you little fancy gentleman. You like that? A tip of the cap. Yeah. You know, don't know where it came from. And also, can you tip any cap? Or does it need to be a specific cap? Top hats. Those should come back, dude. Mm.

I fuck with top hats. I like... Only on, like, fancy occasions, not, like, down the street. Bro, people used to wear them to, like, go get the mail. Like, back in the day. And they would wear... You know what? You know what? You know what? Shut up. You're know what first. My know what first. That's... I don't...

I want to wear one of those top hats, like old-timey, like Road to Perdition top hats in the rain. I don't know what the middle part of what you mean. Road to Perdition? You never saw Road to Perdition? Have you seen Road to Perdition? I didn't even know that. What? Is that a movie or like a law? Yeah, with Tom Hanks. No, I've never seen that. He's like a gangster and he has like a little son. What year? 2000. Oh, wow. I thought that this felt like a 1980. 2003, 2004, around that time. Really good. You should watch it. Never seen it. Really, really good. I was going to say I want to ride one of those big wheeled bikes.

The old ones that the dumbasses... You could die falling off of those things. Yeah, because you're eight feet in the air. I know. Why would you want to ride that? Stupid, stupid thing. Who's the engineer behind those bikes? And also, how did you figure out that and not just figure out to make it smaller? Maybe it was an aesthetic thing. But why? If I'm in the olden days going down the street and I see someone on one of those giant dumbass bikes...

You're going to push him? To double hand. But if I saw someone on one of those bikes today, I'd kind of be like... Really? Because when I see... I think it looks cool. But you know what? It's a little nuts. It looks cool, but if you saw it in a practical form, like in daily life, like someone was going to their fucking job in Manhattan, you'd be pissed off. I hate everyone on a bike when I'm in my car. But forget it. Yes, I agree. But...

Like, everyone always came across someone in their life that, like, practically used a unicycle. I see. And it's annoying. And it's annoying.

Yeah, this isn't clown school. It's the street. Get off. Like, I think it's fine if you're, like, in a park and you're like, oh, I'm unicycling back and forth and whatever. You kind of look dumb doing that. But if you're, like, down the street and you're pedaling, like, down a hill. Yeah, like, it's like, all right, sweetie, on my way to work. Wait. Let me get on my unicycle and ride to work. Yeah, dude. I'll bring the gun. You bring the ammo. Let's shoot that person together. Bro. Some guy in my neighborhood, like, goes on that big bike. I see it sometimes. Really? Yeah.

Do you know the name of it? What it's called? Bike. Bicycle. Bicentennial bike. What is it? It's called Penny Farthing. Penny Farthing. Penny Farthing? Yeah. The name also sucks. Yeah, that sounds like something. If I... Bro, if someone... First of all, you live in Brooklyn. Yep. Chances are you're going to see some Brooklyn hipster out here with a hat that has just a foot on it and it says something like, stinky with a question mark. What does that have to do with this conversation? Because you Brooklyn weirdos are weirdos.

You don't even know what Brooklyn looks like. I do. I've been Brooklyn. You've been on the BQE. I've been on Brooklyn. All right? If they were just like, yeah, I'm going to get a couple Vietnamese spit IPAs on my penny farthing.

Bro, I would be so mad. You know what's crazy? As you said Vietnamese spit IPA, I was like, damn, dude, that sounds pretty good. Would you drink some alcohol if it was fermented in spit? No. Disgusting. Who's spit? Doesn't matter. Well, clearly it does to someone in this room. Why? I don't know. You would let someone spit in your mouth? Sure. That's fire. I would dap you up if you weren't so far away. Don't get up. Uh...

Sure. Penny Farthing. Interesting. What's worse? A bike, a unicycle, or a fucking hoverboard? For like legitimate like... Hoverboards are for like 11-year-olds 10 years ago. Yeah, that like just found out that like Mr. Beast is a YouTuber and all they talk about is Five Nights at Freddy's. I don't know what that is either. You don't...

There's a lot of stuff going on. Now that Miles is, oh, he's turning, as of recording, he's turning 10 tomorrow. Ooh. I'm, like, getting in on the cool, like, kid lingo and stuff. You know what I mean? So, like, he helps me. So one day I jokingly with him, I said, like, yo, like, who in here is Skibbity or a Maxis? And he's just like, no one says that anymore, dude. Yeah.

Yeah. I was like, what do they say? And he goes, do you remember when we went to Penn State and you tried to do that? And they were like, dude, we're not nine years old. Why are you doing this? I think Penn State was lying. That's based on nothing. I know. There was a crowd full of people being like, no, we don't use that word. Well, because I asked them if things were still skibbity. Right. And I think that is a younger generation. Ant is going to fall off his chair. He did do that. I believe it. And they said like, no, we're older than that.

But like, so they love Minecraft. So should I ask them about it? Who loves Minecraft? Herobrine? You know that one. It's a good reference. That's a great reference, yeah. Herobrine? Herobrine, yeah. What's Herobrine? I can't tell them. Don't tell them. Let him keep himself out of the loop. It's just like a lore in Minecraft. It's not that deep. Are you a Minecrafter? Yeah, I like Minecraft. He crafted. Do you craft? Do you mine? In the mine, yeah. You build houses and shit? Sometimes. Everyone goes to... Yo, I'm going to tell you right now. Yep.

That game sucks. I know it's like the greatest, like highest selling game of all time or something like that. Is it? Yeah. I'm pretty sure. What? It passed. It's so simple. It's like that, Grand Theft Auto 5, Tetris, Mario Kart 8. Wow. But bro, you think it's simple, but it's not.

It's mining. Bro, if you want to... Alright, so you literally get put in an ever-expanding world. Yeah. What are you going to do? Yeah, what was the first thing you would do? What's the first thing you're doing? Me? Yeah. Turn the game off. Okay.

I'd be like, oh, too big. Sorry, dang. Too big, don't want it. I would like to start with something. But seriously, all right. Well, no, no. You don't start with anything. So I guess you just start digging into the earth. Yep. And then? Trying to find oil. I'd probably live underground. Well, no, no, no, no, no. If you're going to find resources, you need to mine them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in order to mine them, you need a pickaxe. So I guess I got to find some rocks.

Sure, but you also need sticks, and then you need to find rocks, and you need to make a stick pickaxe, and then you can mine. Got it. And then they break. Yep. Well, then you got to go get more. Yep. So this is what the game is. So can you eventually work your way up to being like, oh, I built a car.

No. Yes. No. Yeah, on the tracks, on the Redstone tracks. Honestly, technically you can. Technically you can build anything. I'm sitting here with two crafters, aren't I? I'm not. I just see Miles playing it. Yeah, yeah, you see it, all right? He's told me that it is so intricate, like Minecraft as a world, that you can build functioning computers in that game. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's not simple. You can build a- I'm not saying it's- I'm saying you can build a fully working computer in Minecraft.

I'm just saying, I'm not kidding. Why the fuck would you do that? I don't know. Dude, I could throw a fully functional post route in Madden and score a touchdown too. That's right. Honestly. Everyone has their own thing that they like, I guess. I've never played Minecraft. I've seen videos of it and stuff, but I used to play RuneScape back in the day. Yeah, you were a RuneScape boy. That I loved. And part of that. Yeah, Keith was a big into RuneScape. He still liked that game. But I used to walk over to trees and I would just chop them down.

You were very big. I remember you were really big into like simulation games. Like you liked room scape. You loved red faction, like where you could like red faction, red faction or command and conquer. Oh, I still like that game. He loves games where you could delegate. He could be like, all right guys, go do it.

That game's fun because you build buildings and it's like a strategy. Do you like Roller Coaster Tycoon and The Sims and SimCity?

I've never played the Sims games ever. Okay. I played a version of Roller Coaster Tycoon on my phone for like four days, and I was like, I... Yeah, same. It was too much. I was like, the hot dog machine costs $10 million? The fuck is this game? Yeah, yeah. And it's just like, oh no, there's not a bathroom close enough to the fucking haunted mansion. Like, just walk another step, babe. I'm also like, it's right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, the park's dirty now. These people are shitting on the ground? Yeah.

Yeah. Animals? Yeah. And there's not enough trash cans. Trash cans I get. Trash cans I get. You got to have trash cans. I get the trash cans. You got to have trash cans. And it's got to be walkable. It's got to be walkable. That's what people say about Disney. Disney, everywhere you look, there's a trash can within like 10 feet or something. Yeah, something like that. Or in every line site or eye line is what I meant to say. There is a trash can. Line of sign? Your eye line. Line of sight. I'm saying the correct thing and you're...

Trying to come up with new ones. Correct. But the reason why I deleted that game is because there was an option to like, you could just build a roller coaster or you could create a custom one. And I created a custom one. The first time someone got on it, they fell off and it was like, oh, this is completely fucked up. I was like, fuck this game. I used to, I had a copy of The Sims for the original Xbox and I would like it because I would like to set up a house and then I'd like take the door away and then you could hear a robber coming and

And they'd break through the window. And then sometimes if you took their toilets away, they'd piss themselves. Right? Don't look at me. You know when you just made that joke about me? Like, oh, Joe likes games where we're delegating. You like torturing virtual people? When they are soulless. Yes. This is what's scary about playing God. Yeah. I think it's just being a bad person. Yeah. I don't think...

So you'd be the guy in the, in the USS Callister. That's like mean to the virtual people. No, no, no, no. Because like, it's different now. Now I hope AI doesn't become sentient. Cause you're very nice. I've been very nice. I've been very nice to computers. Okay. I've been very, very nice. Um, I, I've softened up. Like I, I can use it like a specific example. Like when we were younger, there was a game called Bioshock that I played. Great game. Highly recommended. One of the greatest of all time. And like,

There are like these things called little sisters in the game and you can either save them and you get a certain material or you can kill them. Basically kill them but you get more of the material.

But, like, the moral conundrum is that, like... Not for young Frank. More material? Thank you! See ya! When I was younger, I fucking... I took... All of it. All of it, all of it, all of it. And it, like, changes the outcome of the game. Like, you get different power-ups depending on...

I played that game a couple years ago. I saved all of them. I can't do it now. Yeah. I feel bad now. I played Harry Potter in that game where you could choose to learn the death spell and whatever fuck. Every single death spell. Every single one I learned. I was too. I was like, I'm not going to kill people in the castle, but I do want the option. Well, my way of justifying it is I only use it against trolls and spiders. Because it's really good. Yeah. Bro, it's a one-hit kill, but it takes a while to reload. Dude.

The reload. But it's like, you can kill kids in the castle if you want, and that's not good. And I wouldn't do it, but I like the option. I... That was a fun game. Just want the option. I'm with you. I mean, you're ripping their doors off and hoping people get robbed, and then also listening to it. That's crazy. ASMR of people getting robbed? Weird. Well, in SimCity, there could be monster attacks.

What's the, oh, Kaijus? Yeah, Kaijus. You could do like one of them. I think in like the Super Nintendo version, it was like Bowser came through the city and like fucked shit up. That's crazy. Yeah, it's fun. It's fun. I like creating cities. You like creating things. I do like creating things. And that was a Segway. Very good. That's how you Segway. That's the sinister Segway sir right there.

Okay. Spell segue really quick. Go. S-E-G-U-E. Yeah, baby. It's like segue. Segue. Segue. Is it a French word? It's got to be a stupid French word. They love having words that are just like they give up at the end. You know?

You know when things are like... It's pronounced like Shea whatever. Shea Monterrey or something like that. Yeah, but it's spelled C-H-E-Z. Yeah. It just makes me feel like... Chez. Yeah, you know? Because Chez just sounds like the dirtiest place in the world. Like, come over to Chez Joe's or whatever the fuck. Yeah, I can see that sounding pretty gross. I mean, it sounds like cheese, which if anyone were to describe anything as like... If anyone had like a nickname, it was like cheese something. Yeah.

It's probably because they're disgusting. Remember we used to call a girl cheese? No, we used to call her fish. We used to call her fish.

No, I don't know. Fish. But we used to call a girl cheese. I don't remember calling a girl cheese. Cheese. No, but you suppose, who was she? I don't remember. It was a girl cheese. I don't remember girl cheese. She was really upset, or you were obsessed with like string cheese, or what's the cheese that you could press out of the can? String cheese, yeah. Is it called? Yeah. Like a cheese whiz? Cheese whiz. Yeah, cheese whiz. You could call it string cheese. But there was a girl who like, there was something with you and the cheese, and then we started calling this girl cheese. I don't know.

I don't remember that. Who's cheese? Who the hell was cheese? Who is cheese? Oh, well, maybe she. A blonde girl. A blonde girl named cheese? A blonde girl named cheese. That's the right hair. You need to be called cheese. Or redhead. A redhead would be cheese. Redhead would make more sense, yeah. Who was it? Who was blonde, man? Oh, Brittany. Brittany. She's older than us. I'm not going to say her last name. But she was older than us. She's blonde girl. Rooftop.

Yes. Gotcha. Yeah, yeah. But we used to call her Cheese. Where is she? Goodness gracious. We were probably like 12 and we were calling her Cheese. It made no sense. Yeah. I had no clue. I'm glad we figured that out. You guys enjoy that? You guys have enjoyed... Anyway, for more pressing matters, Frank, you did something. Well, technically, I didn't do something. It was the aura...

It was the aura of somebody else. A lot of people know that there are characters on this show that are born out of my incredible genius intellect. A lot of people often talk about the three-time Slam Poetry of the Year winner, Francisco. I am not Francisco, but I can become Francisco. And I want to introduce everyone to a new character, a new man. It's just me.

It's me again. It's me again. Big Buck Alvarez. Big Buck Alvarez. I'm going to preface this entire thing. Well, we didn't even tell them what we did. Well, we're going to get to that. But like, so here's what happened. Last year we had a show in Nashville.

And Frank's like, I need boots and I need a hat. Like immediately. So we got to Broadway. We go right into the first store and this kid's walking around like, oh, dad, dad, we need a little dad. I'm like, Frank, they have, someone's going to shoot you. I will be honest. With a revolver. I will be honest.

I think I was incredibly lucky to have escaped Nashville unscathed. I thought there was going to be a six-shooter or someone who was just like, get that guy, bang, bang, bang. Yeah, because I also was doing it in a way that was a little playful amongst us. Right. But loud. Very loud. So, like, everyone's hearing it. And granted, there's not a whole lot of, like, actual, like,

Yeah, the guy that- Nashvilleians on Broadway. Yeah. It's a bunch of, like, blonde bachelorette parties for the most part. Exactly. And the guy that was, like, working there, he was like, yeah, I lived in New York for a couple years. Like, he was just- I was like, howdy, dude. See, that's what he's doing. And then he was just like, yeah, man, no problem. I'll help you find what you're looking for. And I was just like- Okay.

All right. But then Frank just kept doing it. And then one day he was like, yo. Well, hold on. We got to preface this also. Oh, let's preface the preface. Yeah. Preface, preface. Pre preface. We at our Nashville show. A lot of people don't know this. We did karaoke. We were in Nashville and we were like, yo, this is a fucking party. We love to do karaoke.

So let's do it. So we sang a song on stage. I don't know if legally if we could say what song we did. It was Wagon Wheel. It was Wagon Wheel. What's going to happen? I don't know. Darius Rucker might be in a bad mood today. He's going to kick the door down and sue us. He's going to be like, hey, he's coming with the blowfish. Oh, wow. I forgot. Yeah. He's hooting. And we enjoyed it so much that I was just like. Frank's like, how hard can it be to write a country song? Basically. Or it wasn't that. It was like, I can write a country song. Yes.

And I was like, we're going to see about that. So we jumped into the studio, a studio that we found. Yep. And we got instruments. We got this type of shit and we created a song. We did. Big Buck Alvarez created the song. Big Buck Alvarez. Yeah. He actually created the song. Um,

And we recorded a real song and Frank performed it in Texas. At all of our shows in Texas. So if you came to those Texas shows, you know what song we're talking about. You know what song we're talking about. It was... We only did it at the Texas shows. Yeah. And it was...

Ridiculous Because we didn't tell anyone We were doing this and we haven't spoken about it since Right We're like we have to release this song for real The only people that know About that song or heard it Were the people that were at those Texas shows And It kind of fucking hits Look at your face right now Just look at the way that you look You look like a sassy cat Or something like that And It kind of hits

You're frozen in time. I just want to make something very clear. When you do that. I just want to make something very clear. Yeah. I am beyond elated talking about Big Buck Alvarez's debut single. Debut single which, which is coming out on the 4th of July.

Because we want it to be the song of the summer, folks. It's the song of the summer. It is the 4th of July. Hot dogs. America. Texas. Yeah. Big Buck Alvarez. And when we were coming up with the song, by the way, it was birthed out of delusion and it was raised in the bosom of idiocracy. That's beautiful. Idiocy. What you're saying is... Idiocracy is not a real word, but...

Only felt right. It felt right though. It was. So when we were talking, we thought like, all right, how are, what are we going to do for this? How are we going to make this? Like, what should it be? And, uh, I'm a big fan of the office and I was watching the office at that time. And one of my favorite episodes is threat level midnight.

where Michael Scarn does the dance, the Scarn. Jump to the left and you shake that hand. Jump to the right, shake that hand. Meet new friends, tie some yarn. That's how you do the Scarn. Right, so you were inspired by this. And listen, the song, I will say, it's very good. And I will say this, right? Even if you listen to the song and you're like, what the fuck? I'm fucking guaranteeing you.

That four days later, you're going to be like, get this out of my fucking head because it doesn't go away. So we found that when we were in Nashville, I was just screaming, doot, doot. We found a team of scientists and researchers found that Frankie could not stop saying, doot, doot. So the song of the summer, Big Buck Alvarez's debut single.

Is the double duke. And it's coming out on the 4th of July. And I'm going to play a little snippet for you. A little snippy. A little snippy pippy. A little snip snap. A little snip slip.

Don't think that was nearly as cool as you thought it was. But I'll play the thing, and you can just perform it, mime it. You don't have to stand up or anything. Oh, okay, because I wasn't going to. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I'm just saying. All right, guys, so here it is. The world premiere, besides Texas, the world premiere of...

Of a snippet. The worldwide, I mean technically it was. The worldwide snippet premiere. It was the Texas premiere. Right. So now we're doing the rest of the world premiere. Yeah. And it's coming out. It's going to be on Spotify. There's a music video dropping on San Diego Studios on the 4th of July. All this shit coming out on the 4th of July. And if you go into the description of this, you will see there's a pre-save link. So you can pre-save it so you can be one of the first people to hear it. It's coming out on

midnight 4th of July by the way so the second that it is July 4th you will have the song and we need to guys listen this is the first time I don't this is the thing first of all this is the first time we're doing something like this and you guys have always been so incredibly kind and supportive so as Takas and videos you blasting that shit there's a dance to it

You're going to have to make a bunch of TikToks. I know. I'm going to be on it. Don't you worry. Me and the social team are on it, okay? There's a dance. There's a dance song. And it's a little difficult to remember, but if you listen. It's not difficult to remember at all. I can't not remember it. It's also meant to be a parody. Like, it's meant to be satirical. Frank, I can tell you this right now.

If I, God forbid, develop dementia in my later years, I will not forget this. Gotcha. I will not forget this song. And I don't know if that's good or bad. Well, like, in writing it... And I know we're talking too much about it. If you want me to shut up, just tell me. In writing it... In writing it, I was thinking of, like, making it a satire. Like, what is the most country-sounding thing I can do? Yeah. So... Ladies and gentlemen...

The world premiere of the snippet of the double dude coming on the 4th of July. Can we put in... Who's editing this? Josh? Why are we doing? Can we put in the music, like the MTV music video premiere thing right here? Right here, right now. That's what you... I'm like in the middle of playing the snips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Snip slip. All right, ready? Here we go. And then you take a sip, you go one, two, one, two, take a dip. A little bit of shimmy, a little bit of not jamming.

That's all we're giving you right now. That's it. That's a snippet. That's a snippet. Would you say you slip-snipped? Guys, listen. I'm not going to play it again. I'm not going to play it again. But you have the snippet. It's coming out on the 4th of July. All right? So be ready for that. Pre-save is in the description. We were in that studio.

Crying laughing And how just Like you go in with an idea And the engineer was taking it so seriously Which I appreciated And he was like Oh dude this sounds so fucking rad He was like Oh what we can do is We can put a fucking hi-hat right here brother Yo that That was also like

What he was doing was, like, incredible. Dude, the kid was a whiz. And all the musicians that helped out. Mikey, by the way, a huge part of this, too. Like, unbelievably talented. Those are live instruments on there. Yeah, there are live instruments on there. It's so stupid. But that's what makes it fun. Yeah. It's going to be a banger. Like I said, pre-save is in the description. July 4th is coming out. Music video will be on Santa Clara Studios. And, you know, Spotify. It's going to be a double. Revue.

It's going to be a double dupe summer. I'm looking out for this. TikToks? Yeah, I'm looking out for your TikToks because there's a dance and Frank, I know that Frank's going to, you should drop it to a split at one point.

You should train. Okay, well, then we've got time. Frank, if I can tell you this right now, if at any point in your life you just randomly dropped into a split in front of me, that would – I know. My life would be better. You brought this up before. Have I? Yeah, you've said this before. It seems like a challenge, and maybe I'll do it. I've got to get back into a couple things before I go straight into doing a split. I get close, though. I can get close as it is. No, no, no. I'll do it. Look, look.

I don't know if Frank is aware that no one can see him, but he's doing a split. It's not, that's not bad. You're about like, you're a quarter away. No, Frank, you are, you are pretty far away. Um, and it's trying to, you're great. Frank's grabbing his groin now. So that's over with. I got that. Um, that's over with. So Frank's in trouble. An out. That's what I mean. That's the one that you want.

Yeah, you're trying to do like a Van Halen split or something. I don't know why I went with that. Those are hard too. If I do a straight out split like Jean-Claude Van Damme. Yes, with chairs. I don't think. Logan Paul does splits. He gets splits. Bro, Logan Paul is a world class athlete. He splits his fucking balls or whatever. That's crazy. Yeah, I'd be a little worried about my stuff. Your shit ripping? Yeah.

What happens if I jump into a split? Do I rip my muscles off the bone? I think your muscles need the elasticity in order to get there. You could do it. You'll be in pain. I don't even know if that's possible. I think they would rip off the bone. Give it a shot. I'm not going to give it a shot. I'm not flexible. You know who might be a little flexible? Are you flexible? Yeah. Can you do a split? Snap, yeah. You snapped, yeah. So let me ask you a question. Don't fucking lie, dude. I would never lie to you.

You ever get folded into a pretzel? Why is that your first question? No. Why is that? Are you okay? Are you horny today or something? Bro, he said he gets his mouth spit in. You could get folded into a pretzel too. I'm not judging you. I'm just curious. The pretzel feels like a lot. Yeah. Can you put your leg over your head? I could get close, I think. Bro, if you put your fucking leg over your head, I would be astounded. I used to be able to do that. What? Say it. College? No.

Maybe around that time, but I wasn't. I feel like I've seen you do that. Probably. I had a few party tricks. That was one of them. You'd be at parties being like, hold on. Watch this, guys. Stop your beer pong game. Let me put my- Celeb shot. Everyone stop playing flip cup. Let me put my fucking- Yeah. Damn, I'm not flexible at all. Remember when you're younger and everyone thought it was so cool to be like, look, I'm double jointed. And they would put their finger like this. You mean like this?

Or that, but their finger would get mean. You know when people have a mean finger? Yeah, it's like the veins are popping out. Look, I'm double jointed. I'm like, you just look like you're pointing hard. I hated the one that people would be like, look at this, and they'd fold their tongue into a fucking doily, and they'd be like, cool, and I'm like, stupid. Yeah, and it looks like a, I don't even know what that is. It looks like a W. Like they can fold their tongue in itself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, bro.

What does this mean? I always thought that was stupid. I'm supposed to be attracted to this? Like, this makes you better at making out because you can fold your shit into a fucking wave? Come on. I don't think people were showing you in order to show that they were good at making out. People were doing that. It was like that and also tying a cherry stem. That one is the famous, the starburst and the cherry stem. We know those. We've gone through those. Yeah. But I'm saying that was like another one of those. But I hated the finger. It's like, look, I'm double jointed.

I'm like, bro, this looks stupid to me. The other one that freaks me, I think Becky could do it, actually, is when they could take their thumb and go all the way back to their forearm or something like that. I hate that. I really hate that. Are you double-jointed? You got any cool stuff about your body? No, nothing cool. Bro, I remember when I was a kid, I was so pissed because there was an episode of Figure It Out. Remember Figure It Out with Summer Sanders? Do I, dude? I fucking loved Summer Sanders. Billy the Answerhead is a god in my household. Wow. And...

She was on the show and her secret talent was that she could fit her body through a coat hanger. And I was like... Bro, I remember that episode vividly. And I watched it and I was like... And I did it. I was like, what the fuck, Summer Sanders? Get me on this fucking show with that dumbass fat head next to you.

Dude, just because of how angry you were, that F of beginning word felt so insane. I was like, where is he going? How mad is he right now? I was like, dude, chill. That was bananas. I could pick up a baseball at my foot.

Shut the... What are you, a fucking eagle? Bro, a baseball is... A baseball is crazy. I could pick up like coins and like a pen. I could pick up a baseball. A baseball. Can you pick up that water bottle right there with your foot? Yeah, but... Easily. I'd have to take off my... No, like long ways. Like grip the cylinder. If that fucking bottle was laid on its side and you picked it up with your foot, I'm firing you. What do you have on your feet, fucking talons? I just can kind of. I don't know.

I don't believe this. Well, I would have to take off my sock. My foot's not ready. How are your feet? One to ten? Not great right now. What's right now? When are they better? They could probably use a snip. You got a fungus going on? No, he's saying his toenails. What's the bottom of your foot look like? It's all fucked up? That's probably not great, yeah. It's all right. They're feet. No one needs to see them. What about you? You got good bottom of your feet? Yeah, they're fine. I don't hate them. You know, my toenails get a little crazy sometimes. Mine definitely get... My pinky toenail...

Shouldn't even be on my body. Should not be there. The pinky toenail is a joke, dude. Mine's like rectangular. It's just like... Mine, like, I guess because the way it cuts, and it's the only way I can cut it when I use the clippers because of how it's shaped. It's like... Straight across. Straight across. It's like a fucking mountain, mine. I'll tell you this. It's a what? A mountain. Like, it comes to a point. Oh, oh. My fucking big toenail... Yeah. Yeah.

I'm not kidding. I legitimately think I could slice someone's throat with it. Yo, that's a thick-ass nail. It's thick and it's sharp. You know what I do? I don't know if you guys have the same strategy as me, but when I cut my big toenail, I clip once and then I just peel. You're...

And you've yet to fucking, like, peel too much? No. Good for you. I've never done that. I clip the sides just to make sure it doesn't, like, get into, like, ingrown toenail situation. Yep. And then I go in the middle. Do you clip before or after the shower? After. I don't line that up. Well, after the shower, your nails are a little softer. It's a little easier to... Yeah. I mean, I'm not struggling to cut my... Oh, I've... Well, you're peeling them off, like... Yeah, like they're a fucking Christmas tree wrapper. If I...

Like a Christmas tree wrapper. What is that? Yeah, I don't know. My fingers, I do like... I'm like Edward Scissorhands with my fingers. But my toes, I'm just like...

Oh, I've since cut back a lot, but I used to bite my fingernails like... Frankie. No, I have. You can see my fingernails. They are mostly uniform in their shape. Your thumbs. I said fingernails, bitch. Okay. And also, I don't bite this. I pick at it like that. But you also bite.

You're a biter and a peeler. If there's something that's hanging, I'll go like this and I'll go... That's biting. Yeah, not that often though. Not as bad as it used to be. Frank, I can see a cut on your thumb right here. Where? Put your hand down. Put your hand down. Right there. I can see it. It's red. Where? Right there. Oh, right there? Yeah, that's not biting. That's just going like that. You destroy your thumb. And sometimes you gotta put band-aids on to stop yourself. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes.

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all right and last but not least i know i know i gotta do the checklist okay we're going back on tour friends oh yeah by the time this comes out uh if you're seeing this on patreon missouri we're coming for you baby kansas city st louis let's let's yeah so uh if you're coming to any of the shows first of all there are some tickets available for some other shows so go check it out at thebasemanyard.com um

And then if you are coming to any of the shows this year, whether it be the Missouri shows or any shows after that, go check out thebasementyard.com slash submit. A part of our show, we like it to be interactive. We like to talk to you, about you, with you, whatever. Submit some responses. There's some questions in there, some cool stories, you know. Submit.

And then we'll pick out if we're going to, well, we don't, but it gets picked out maybe. So go check it out. Thebasementyard.com slash submit. Thank you guys. We're excited to get back after it. We love you. We miss you. We kiss you. Not literally through this camera. We'll see you at the shows. You ever just start a sentence and then say like wherever it goes. I assume that's how you talk.

Most of the time. Not most of the time, but definitely some of the time. I would say. I think that's the whole podcast. Like you start going somewhere and you're like, I'm too far into the sentence. I have to end it. Well, why waste my own breath? Right. Commit to the bit. If I start saying something, I better finish it.

Yeah. So you're doing it now. Yep. Like you're trying to, you're trying to come up with like a, well, I'm not, I'm not a, uh, uh, uh, I'm not an intellectual tease. If I'm allowing people, what does that mean? If I'm allowing people to view into my brain, if you're allowing people to view into your brain. Yeah. I'm giving them the whole, I'm giving them the whole thing. What does that mean? Now you're not talking. That's contradicting what you're saying.

You know what I'm talking about. I have no idea. That's why I'm asking. I think you do. I think you do. So, see, you know what's crazy? Now you completely shut off. As you were like, oh, intellectually or whatever, this whole time, after you brought it up, you just started talking. And it happened. Every now and then I have a lapse in my brain just shuts off. Just shuts off. It shuts off. I would love to see what's going on in there. It shuts off. I'm also very tired. You're very tired.

Hey, don't do that, okay? You can stop. Nope, don't do it. But it's getting worse. Can we stop at seven? Eight. Okay, good. I wanted to talk about this thing. Are you drooling? I heard some noise in my ear just now. I don't know what that was. I heard that too from across the table, but I think he's drooling. I'm good, I'm good. Really? Yes.

Did you drool? Almost. You look wet. Your lips look wet. You know those kids growing up in school where their lips were always wet? What was with that? I hated those kids. Or they had the red ring around their mouth. This was my least favorite kid. That's who I'm talking about. They would have wet lips. Wet mouths. Always wet. Dry your mouth up, you fucking loser. Why is it so wet? And it's not like they were wearing chapstick. They were just wet.

wet lips yeah and those one kid i forgot his name but he had a red ring around his mouth yeah i don't know i don't know i will say this though those kids that had the wet mouth were always the ones that sneezed into their hand it was like i hate that i hated that bro sneeze like not a loser bro also so i don't know if this is just me but like whenever i sneeze and someone goes do you need a tissue it's like but i sneeze one time relax like i didn't sneeze like i'm sick like

It's like wet. Like sometimes you have a dry ass sneeze. Most of my sneezes are dry. I think you need to realize you're probably the outlier in terms of sneezing. Like sneezes are not as pleasant as you seem to make them sound. I'm not saying that they're pleasant. But like you do like a chew and then you're good. There are people that sneeze like shotgun blasts and they're wet most of the time. My father, yeah. Bro, my dad the other day. What is with fathers? They can't sneeze correctly? I'm getting there. I'm getting there and I hate it.

I'm slowly becoming like... Oh, you're doing like a... You're like that, though. You have performative sneezes. I do. I like to make them a little show. You like to keep your mouth open sometimes. You like to go like... And I'm like, dude. Yeah, my new thing... You're going to hate this. My new thing with Becca is if I have to sneeze, I'll like sneeze on her.

Yeah, I'm gonna hate it. Yep, I'm gonna hate it. You were right. I do hate it. Like, we'll be in bed and I have to sneeze. Where will you sneeze? In her face? No, no, no. Never in her face. I'll, like, go out. Oh, what a good guy. I'll be, like, holding her hand and I'll put her... Because, like, when we're in bed holding hands, I'll, like, bring it up to my face sometimes and I'll, like, kiss it and stuff like that. And then you just blow it. And then sometimes I'll bring it here and I'll just go... And I'll sneeze right into it. And she's, like...

Why? Like, please stop. It's a fun little cute thing I do. Yeah, but only you enjoy it. Yeah. That's the thing. That's the issue. If she said to me, I think a small... I'm sure she said that. No, no, no, no, no. I think a small part of her might like it. That you sneezed in her hand? But not like a... Like, she likes... Like, because it's just something I do. Like, it's like the idea of, like, when I'm gone eventually, she'll be like, that was something he did that was so him that's just, like, I miss.

Frank, I hope there's a laundry list of things before she gets to, he used to sneeze in my hand. Well, I'm not saying like that, but like it'll be triggered when she hears a sneeze. Is this your way of gaslighting me into thinking that this is a romantic gesture? That you sneeze into your wife's hand? No, I know. Oh, well, when I die, she'll remember that I did that. I know it's not romantic, and I'm very well aware that it is stupid, but it's just like... I feel like you've sneezed in my face. Well...

Another party trick I had after I put my legs. Yeah. As I would, as my fake sneeze. If that one didn't work. If that one, if that one didn't get him. There was a plan B and it was fake sneezing. Yeah. The fake sneezing because I'm a very good fake sneezer. So I would pretend. Hit him with a. Away from the mic, please. Oh, I got it. The windup is part of it. Good. I'm just like.

It's great. It's a really good fake sneeze. It's a really good fake sneeze. So like that was what I'd be like, I'd pretend I couldn't stop sneezing. Right. And like sometimes like I was going to sneeze in a person's face. And at that point there's no need for a plant seed because there is no way that you haven't captivated the audience with plant bees. If it ain't the leg, it's the sneeze. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. Whoa, dude. My hair is getting that long. Oh.

The way you put the hat on. My hair is getting long. Are you growing it out? I'll cut it soon. It's getting annoying. Really? Yeah. I like it. Thank you. I appreciate you liking it, but it becomes a lot of, it's just another thing to do. Have hair? Like have to like take care of hair. How do you take care of your hair? Well, like in terms of like, I have to wear a hat or a headband because if you see what it's like when there's not those things on it, it's crazy. Can't you just, I mean, I've seen you. What do you mean? When? I've seen you.

Like if I shower and I let my hair dry. Oh, well you have to put stuff in it. I don't always want to do that. Oh, I see what you're saying. You know. So you got to wear a hat. Exactly. Exactly what I said. Yeah. Do you have a night routine? Like the, like the oil and the face mask. Do you have that? Not all the time. I mean, I have face stuff that I put on. Like I'm wearing, I'm wearing like a serum. Good for you.

Because I don't want to, you know me. No, good. I'm serious. That's not like a good for you. That's like a good for you. I only started doing this like two years, three years ago. Joey, we need to realize we're aging. Oh, I realize. And I know you do. I don't mean to be offensive. I mean it that Frank thinks about we're all going to die one day. Oh, I wasn't. Time marches on and it freaks me out. I'm thinking physically like. No, I know. Like we're aging. I know.

We're old, dude. Yeah, but I didn't like the way that... I think you're backtracking. You should be like, Frankie means it like in a metaphysical standpoint. I think you meant... That's 100% the reason why. Like, you talk about how that's the scariest thing on Earth. Death? Well, no, just the fact that, like, you know, time? It just keeps going. Yeah, it's crazy. It freaks me out, and I'm like, I know. It's crazy. But maybe I'm closer to an intellect because I struggle and try to understand the concept of time, this seemingly invisible force that...

you can't see and it is so powerful. So me trying to go through that and understand it just makes me closer to godliness, I guess. I don't know. It's called just being self-aware. Yeah. I don't know why you want this godly, godliness is kind of crazy to be honest with you. I wanted to talk about this thing though that like you had brought up before the show where it's like there's a

A machine or something? Does it exist or it doesn't exist where it turns your dreams into videos? Yeah, so it's this machine where you can... It's real or it's like they're building one? That's a great question. I think it's in development. But the idea is that it sits next to your bed and it has a little screen on the front and you can talk to it or into it or with a microphone or whatever. All of those are the same thing? No, you could...

You can talk into it, add it into a microphone. The reason I thought I was different because I was holding it like this. Whoa, dude. And the idea is that you'll tell it your dream and it'll... Create a movie. Create it using AI. When you say that... I said that so weird. When you say that... When you say that... Originally, I thought it was like something you put on your head and then...

all of your dreams get made into videos? I wish that existed. No way. I have seen Batman Forever way too many times to trust something like that. Oh, the Riddler? Yeah. Remember he puts like the suction cup thing on the people's head and he like steals their intellect or something like that? I mean, whatever. Then fucking Jeff Bezos will own your brainwaves. You're cool with that? Can I still have mine? He'll have them. He basically has them now. Does he? Does. Does.

I mean, all the data points, like... If celebrities sold their dreams like that, like, you could... What do I give a fuck? I'm saying, I think a lot of people buying them. Oh, my God. That's the next... That's the next, like... If you sell your dreams, you are a soulless pig. If you... You can't even... You have to sell that? That's crazy. That's crazy. That's the next billion-dollar industry, and you're just shitting on it the whole way? I am. Listen. I think that's sickening. Hey...

I'm in. I'm in from the ground up, alright? He's the freak. What do you want? You're gonna sell your dreams? I'm not saying I'll sell my dreams, but there- That's what I'm saying. There are people that'll pay for it. What does that mean? You should sell it? Maybe. Nope. Maybe. Just because people will buy it doesn't mean that you should sell it. Well, people are buying and selling bathwater, so like- That's so different. Bro, you're gonna tell me if there was a dream company, and what would it be called? DreamWorks. That's already an animation company. Welcome to the joke, Frank! Welcome to the joke!

It is a great name for it, though. It is. Or DreamView. HeadView. That feels like a different kind of website. That's the one you type in by accident, and you're like, oh, God. Yeah, yeah. Head, Frank. Either way, yeah. Oh, gotcha. MindView. MindFilm. Whatever you're doing, I feel like it's not important to what we're trying to get to. And there are people that it's going to be like, oh, Sydney Sweeney. She just sold her bathwater. Right. She's selling her dreams. Right.

Bro, people are gonna be all over it. All over it. I'm sure they would, but I don't- And you could put it- you could do a different pricing, different tiers, like, this one is about nature, this one is about relationships, this one is about food. You kidding me? Copyrighted, by the way. You don't think there'll be someone that's like, okay, watch this movie first, and then go to sleep, and I want the dream after that, or something? You know what I mean? You guys are sick. I just know how the world works. You have a sick look in your eyes. You have a sick look. I'm not buying it. You know what I mean?

I'm like, all right, relax. I just want to be clear. I had nothing to do with that point. You said you're getting in the ground up. Yeah, you literally just said. Well, not when it became voyeurism, you sick sex freak. I mean, I don't think anyone would sell their dreams. You guys haven't watched Inception, guys? Come on. Well, they go into dreams. They don't sell them. Right.

They go into them because no one... It's your subconscious. It's the next sellable thing. It isn't. We are next. I would say it's the next. There's a billion things in between this and that. That and what's next. What are they? He's got you here. I don't know. It could be anything. You think the next thing that we're going to sell is Dreams? I think it's if this item...

becomes popular and refined and does well it's going to be like a subscription base where you could be like it's like only fans but for fucking buying dreams it could be like oh fucking joe sanagato had a dream last night let's see what it is and it's a minute clip of like so i'm going and then like someone sees my dog and kicks my dog and i turn into a robot and i like it's it's gonna happen one no one would want to pay for my dreams

All they would have to do is see one. The humbleness on this man. The humbility. First of all, it's not about that. I'm saying you would watch one and you'd be like, what the fuck was that? Sometimes I have dreams and I'm just on my couch. That's the other thing. People will say if you have a banana before you sleep, you have vivid dreams. I don't know if I believe any of that. Although I think when I'm really hydrated and go to sleep, then I have good dreams. Holy shit. We didn't talk about our recent trip.

Oh my God, dude. Speaking of having like a fucking vivid dream. You didn't hear about this. Yo, I didn't even tell you this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So me and Frankie had to go. We were on a trip. We're not going to say what it was yet, but we were on a trip and we were staying in an Airbnb and there was a slight time difference and we had went to dinner.

We got home. We had some wine at dinner. Yeah. But no one was like drunk. No, absolutely not. So like I went to sleep and then...

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I'll tell it, and then you can pick it up from when it's your experience. But I remember waking up. So we went to bed around 10.30 or 10.45 in that time zone. And I woke up at probably like 12.45. No, it was 12. I remember looking over and I saw 12.39. Oh. You guys were in the same bed? No.

No, no, no. We weren't in the same bed. You'll hear. But we were in separate rooms. So then I remember waking up and like to my defense, there was a ton of doors in this area. There's like a door to the living room that opens up and there's two doors here, bedroom, bedroom. So I went through and then eventually I ended up in Frank's room.

And what happened? So I take, when I go on these Airbnbs, for those that don't know, I am very conscious of security. Because in my head, I've seen way too many horror movies where like, this is just the next horror movie waiting to happen. And you've played The Sims and you've... Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So I put a rolly desk chair in front of the door to my room because there was nothing else that I could put there. Right. And I thought I locked it, by the way. Just want to make that clear.

So I'm woken up to the sound of the wheels on the floor. Now, mind you, I'm laying like this on my side and he's coming around the corner. Joey's coming around the corner this way. So by the time I hear it, I jump up and I'm fucking on my side in the most compromising position. And I see Joey. What do my eyes look like? And I'm like, yo, what's up? You good?

And he was... I remember you saying, the first thing you said was, is everything okay? Yeah, like, is everything alright? And he was flabbergasted that I, like, he had the tone of just like, yeah. He's like, yeah, I'm good. And I'm like, yeah, like, you fucking, why are you laying like that? And I'm like, what's up? And he's like, no, I went to use the bathroom. I figured I'd come out here, say what's up to you and peep.

There was nobody else! Pete's my cousin. Pete's his cousin who wasn't there with us. Yeah, he was not. I don't even think we spoke about Pete at dinner. It was not like he came up. Never came up. And I'm like, what? And you're like, yeah, what's up? And I'm like, dude, I think you're sleepwalking. And you're like, that's when I think it fucking hit you. You're just like, huh? Yeah, eventually I'm standing there and I start to realize, oh...

I'm fucking crazy. You know, like, and then I'm like coming too slowly because I think I was like slowly waking up, but I was moving. And then I remember standing there and I was trying to explain myself, but I was still confused. And I'm looking at Frankie, looking at me like I'm the dumbest person in the world. And I'm like, uh, I, yeah. And I just like walked away. Dude, when I got back to my bed, I was laughing my ass off. Yo, and then...

Again, remember, slight time difference. I get a text at 5.30 in the morning from him. Yeah. I'm so sorry. I feel insane. I was like, yo, it's fine. Don't worry about it. Because I felt like an insane person when that happens. You're like, yo, what the hell is going on? Yo, we laughed about it that whole fucking morning. Because, like, just the incredulous, like, yeah. Yeah, I'm good. What the fuck do you mean? I barged into his room.

And I'm like, yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? What about, you know, like, what about this situation makes you think anything is not okay? This is completely normal, Frank. What is wrong with you? And I think the funny, like...

Like, the funniest part is, like, I'm so aware of, like, when we're away on these trips of, like, thinking of, like, an intruder breaking in when, like, you could have done me in right there. Like, you could have killed me. 100%. You know, the calls coming from inside of the house type of thing. You know what I'm saying? Dude, God, that was so funny. I got back to my bed, and I started texting Frank, and I was like, I'm just not going to do this right now because I'd rather talk to him in person. Yo, it was so funny. But I literally was like, yo, I feel like a crazy person, but it was making me laugh because I was like –

I don't even know because I don't even think I went to the bathroom. To be honest with you, I don't think I went to the bathroom beforehand. I think I just got up and went right to your room. Was there a bathroom in your room? Yeah. Oh. So you just decided to take a trip? So, yeah. But, like, I remember also. Yeah, dude. What's fucking, what's wrong with you? So in my mind, like, right afterwards, in my mind, I was like,

Oh, like I was sleepwalking, like whatever. But what I thought I was doing was showing you where the bathroom was. So that was my story until I woke up and then I talked to him and he goes, you said you came into my room to say hi to me and Pete. I was like, I don't remember that at all. Well, no, you said you thought you were in the living room because you said I came out here to say hi to you and Pete.

Oh, okay. So you thought I was in the living room sleeping. I guess. I don't know, dude. By the way. So funny. He was coming to show me where the bathroom was. Guess where it was? In my room. Yeah. We both had a bathroom in our room. Yeah, I just like don't remember. The horror like velociraptor sound of the wheels. Well, bro, I heard it and I'm like, yo, like my first thought is just like, oh shit, someone is actually like...

Like, I am actually prepared right now because, like, when we go away on trips. You see me half asleep? I sup. Yeah. When we go away on trips, I don't sleep well when I'm away from home. I don't just because I'm hyper aware of the fact that, like, I'm just not in my own environment. We're in a stranger's house. Like, bro, I am in a stranger's house. Like, there's doors that are locked. I don't know what the fuck is behind those doors. Like, I don't know who can just walk in at any time. You know, it's just a weird concept.

The fact that like, as I heard it, I jumped up like, oh shit, it's go time. And then it's just fucking your noodle head around the corner. Just like numb. And yeah, I'm lucky you didn't fucking attack me. Well, that's the other funny part is that if there was someone that actually broke in, I was in such a compromising position. Well, also you said you couldn't like, it looked like the lights were on. Bro, can I be honest with you? Also, like now when I'm picturing this, it looks like you were laying on your back.

And that your feet were, like, touching the ground, like, in front of the bed. Like, when I'm picturing walking into a room, that's what I'm picturing you seeing. That's what I'm picturing. So, there was a light bulb in the room that I couldn't figure out how to turn off. Yeah. But it was one of those where it's, like, the light bulb, like, the bottom, like, two-thirds of it is, like, painted. It's, like, a chrome paint. Yeah, yeah. So, like, the light only comes out the top of it, so it's very dim. It's, like, it simulates, like, what I imagine, like, dusk.

You know, what I imagine. Like, I haven't seen a fucking sunset in my life. But, like, I couldn't figure out. So, like, it was still dark enough that I was able to sleep. But, like, there was light. Well, thank God. Because what if I came in and you couldn't see? Yeah, it would have been a problem. It would have been like... And I would have... I don't even know. As a person who's in a dream state, I don't even know how I would have reacted to that. Bro, it was so... We would have been fist fighting each other. And I'd be like, that's good. Say I do a beat. Yeah.

Pete, help me out here! Pete, are you gonna step in and say something? Pete, get in here and help me out with this guy! Pete, grab his neck! I got his legs! I'm just like, what the fuck is going on? I start wrestling like a chair. Give it to this guy! Have you ever sleepwalked? Sleptwalked?

I have. Sleepwalked. I have before. It's only happened like three times in my life. I'm glad I was on the receiving end of one of them. I've done this thing where like... You know when you're... It's not about like...

You know when you're like kind of asleep but you're having a conversation like maybe you're on the phone. Yeah, like you're here and it's like you're out but then you're back in and you keep like you don't want to you don't want to like leave the conversation or something. So it's that's the only times that stuff like that has happened to me where I've been like

I'll say something and then I'm like, wait, that doesn't make any sense. So, cause I'm in and out of sleep. So I guess that's what happened. I remember those days where you'll be like in a conversation about the weather and you'll just be like, but it doesn't matter because of cupcakes. And you're like, what the fuck is that? What are you saying? What is what? You know, when I was younger, my brother told me that like my brother Thomas walked into the room and he said that I sat up out of bed and I looked at him and I was like, I already recorded that.

And he was like, okay, and just shut the door. So weird. Yeah. That's a weird thing that happens. It's scary. I know there have been times where like, I'm like supposed to wake up and like whatever version of me is conscious of that time is just like a different human. We're like actually this morning, oddly enough, because I got to sleep super late last night. My alarm went off and Becca was just like, stay in and sleep.

And I remember being like, no, I need to wake up. I need to get stuff done. And then I rolled back over and went to sleep. It's so weird. You don't understand. I need this. Basically, yeah. Bro, there's been instances where Miles will walk into our room and...

I know how you are. If there was a middle-of-the-night child at the end of your bed... If I was sleeping over at your house and Miles walked into my room and was like, yeah, I don't know what's going on. I'd be like, dude, get away! Put a pillow up. He's been at the edge of our bed and like...

We'll be like, what's up? And let's be like, well, what? Well, and he like mumbles and we're like, Miles, you're asleep. And he's like, what? Like, again, like, what is it about sleepwalkers that like what you're doing and being like sane is like so crazy. Yeah. Like, why are you even suggesting something? You're sleepwalking. What? What?

Insane. Hysterical. Oh, my God. I can't believe we forgot to tell that story. Yeah, that was a good one. We also have some more sponsors here. We have Liquid IV. Okay, Liquid IV. This is going to keep you hydrated. Always keeps me hydrated. Always got that thing on me. It's in my – I should have had one when we were away because I have them in my toiletry bag just in case. But they are these little sticks. You open them up. You put them in some cold water.

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But yeah. Anyway, I'm a sleepwalking psycho. So back to the thing about the AI making the images of your dreams. Would you do that? Because you often... I would, but like... You wake up and write your dreams down. Yeah. Sometimes I have really funny dreams, but the ones that make me laugh are the ones I wake up and I start writing notes.

I went through a phase where I was writing down my dreams all the time because they were just psychotic and it would make me laugh when I would read them in the morning. And then sometimes I'd be like that in that in and out state and I would write stuff and then I'd wake up and read it. And I'd be like, this makes no sense. Some of the ones that you've told me, it was like someone was like chewing on a wiener, like a chicken wing or something like that. I was chewing on my own penis. I had a dream where I was chewing on my own penis and it was like, like I had my penis in my hands.

And I was, I would bite and I, God, I love chicken wings. Separate. Saying this out loud is so funny. But I was, I was biting into it and it would flake off like a chicken wing would. I imagine. And I was like, I, I know I woke up like, what the hell am I doing? That makes sense. Quick. Top five favorite chicken wing flavors slash sauces. Buffalo, garlic parm. Hell yeah. Uh,

Lemon pepper. I'm not a lemon pepper guy. Too dusty. Too dusty. I like a dust. I'm cool with a honey barbecue. I don't hate honey barbecue. I like honey barbecue. Like a sticky honey barbecue that's just like...

I will say I crush barbecue sauce. I literally had to buy a sugar-free barbecue sauce because I just realized how much I'm eating. High fructose corn syrup, man. That shit gets you. Dude, it was like two tablespoons. It was like 70, 80 calories. I was like, okay, this is insane. Then I got a sugar-free one that I have now. Two tablespoons, 10. Yeah. So I wrap my lips around the opening and I turn my head up and I let it go all the way in. You understand? Yeah.

That was insane. And I apologize. I just did a Trump point. I apologize. I apologize. That was so not gay of me. Big sorry. That's the straightest. You wish I was gay. You so wish. I don't wish. I wouldn't be very good. But if I was gay, I would be very gay. I'd be the gayest. Who's RuPaul? All men would come. So all that to say, barbecue wings. But I'm not crazy about barbecue wings.

I like barbecue, honey barbecue. It's just boring. Honey barbecue, I'm cool with. That's what I'm saying. Barbecue is just like, eh. So we got garlic parm. Honestly, a good garlic parm. But I'm not talking a dry rub garlic parm. Me neither. I want it a little wet, bitch. I want this thing to just fucking be an explosion of flavor in my face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will say, it sounds like I'm being insensitive by saying it, but any Asian teriyaki... You're bugging. They're good. Oh.

Oh, oh. I was going to say, like, it feels like I'm, like, being mean by, like, what wings you want? Ooh, let me get the Asian zing. Like, that feels like there's – it's not, like – we're going to, like, 20 years look back on that and be like, that was kind of not – that was weird. What do you mean? Like, the name of the soft? Yeah. Like, remember we had one that was, like, nuclear – like, remember around, like – oh, it was Hawaiian fire.

And it was like when all those fires were happening in Maui, there was like a chicken wing flavor that was like Hawaiian fire. When the fuck did I didn't have that? I'm not saying we had it, but it was like a thing that like someone posted on TikTok and it was like, uh, what's that? What's another flavor? Sweet chili. Sweet chili. That shit is fire. Never had it. All Asian. Mango habanero is so good. Mango habanero. That might be too hot.

I'm in for it. Yep. I'm in for it. I'm not a big dry rub guy. I like a dry rub. I like a Cajun. I like Cajun seasoning. I don't know about on wings, though. I need my wings to be wet.

Yeah, I'm on Buffalo Wild Wings' website right now. Thai curry sauce. I haven't had it. I mean, it sounds great. It does sound good. I love curry. Oh, there is an Asian zing sauce. That's what I'm saying. You think I don't know the Buffalo Wild Wings sauce name? Well, you were saying, like, I don't know. It's something like Asian zing, and you made it seem like it was, like, you made it up. That's the best flavor, too, there, pretty much. Is it? It's regular buffalo. Spicy garlic. Anything that has garlic in the name, I'm fucking down.

Yeah. 100%. Yeah. Anything that's like, oh, like a, or an aioli, bro. I'm a fucking whore for an aioli. I love that shit. I like an aioli. Love that. Honey barbecue, Parmesan garlic. Now we're talking crazy. Teriyaki, always good. Yeah, teriyaki's good. Mild sauce, grow up. Grow up. I mean, but like, I get it.

Sweet barbecue? Isn't barbecue just sweet already? No, that's like honey barbecue. Chipotle mayo shit is fire. Isn't that like one of your favorite condiments? Chipotle mayo? It's unbelievable. Salt and vinegar? I've never had a... A salt and vinegar wing feels like your mouth is going to be raw. It's awful. Like you got gang banged by like Pinhead's cock. Wow. I feel like that was so crazy to say. Um...

What were we talking about? The wings, the AI. Oh, so will you do the dream thing? What's a price point that you were like, all right, that's too much. If it was 300 bucks. Of course I was doing that for 300 bucks. If it's 500 bucks. Anything under a thousand, I would say yes. If it's a thousand. Wait, what is it though? Is it the thing that I'm talking about? So you talk to it. Oh, it's the actual one. So you talk to it. You tell it you're dreaming. It'll just be like, oh, so I walk in my friend's room with Pete, Joey, Frankie there. And it'll animate it and put it on the screen.

I probably wouldn't pay too much for that. I think anything under $1,000, I would pay for that just to see how it is. But I would pay more if it did it automatically. Because a lot of times, I don't remember the dream enough to be able to explain it. So you want to put something on or in your head? Crazy. I guess. That's crazy to me. These people that are like... I don't want to put anything in. I'm not saying put, like drill into my head. There's shit that came out recently that I think it was Meta is like...

Doing like the neural link thing like Tesla not Tesla, but Elon is doing where it's like they you could like operate a smartphone with just your brain Crazy, I'm this is some black mirror literally black mirror. I'm good, bro I get the version - you say that all the time because the first version always has bugs and glitches a big bang boom People will get the first one. I'll just get the updated one. It's fair. I'm just what if it came with a lifetime supply twisted teas I

No, it's my brain. Are you still on the Twisted Tea train? No. Twisted Tea lights came out. Those are nice. What if it came with a lifetime supply? That's Twisted Tea, brother. No, but I do like a Twisted Tea light. Bro, I need to send this to you. You ever seen those TikToks that are just like this incredible pull-up for my grandmother's fridge and it's like an old sauce jar or like your mustard bottle or something like that? It's like expired and gross? Yeah, but it's just like what the logo is. I have an old like...

2010 Miller Lite in my fridge. Because it just looks so cool. And it's the one that... It's the blue can with, like... It says, like, Miller Lite in gold on the side. Pull it up. Look at it. The old... Bro, beer, like, logos now. Like, I can't wait until we get out of this whole, like, minimalistic design era and we go back to being a little louder. Because, like, they're just not doing it anymore. I mean, I think that's a pretty crazy statement to make. I feel like, if anything...

At least with IPAs. Hell yeah. Look at that son of a bitch. That's the one I got, the gold can one. Yeah, baby. That's what's getting you excited? Tell me that doesn't look sick. It is cool. I can't. It's wet. It kind of looks like an iced tea, though. A little bit. You're not going to drink that ever, right? You're not going to drink that ever. No, no, no. I can't. That's going right into storage. It's been in my fridge since... Wait, hold on. You just moved into a new house...

What did you do with that? I took it from the fridge at my old house and I put it in the fridge at my new house. It's still, like, it is going to be kept. Forever. And ever. And ever, and ever, and ever, you'll be back like before. I will fight the fight and win the war for your love, for your praise.

Great. It's a great song. Unbelievable. But yeah, you know what the thing is? Like, I don't know. I feel like if I, if I, the thing that I'm talking about existed and then I watched a nightmare that I had that I would be like, why the hell was I afraid of that? It makes no sense.

Yeah, but it's different because when it's your nightmare, you're in it. You're experiencing it. It's the same with playing video games. There are people that can watch movies and be like, this isn't terrifying. But you play a video game, you're in control and it's like you're doing it. It's scary. I would pay money. Ant, did you ever play Outlast? I did. I would pay...

to see you play Outlast. Oh, that'd be a great video. That would be an incredible video. Is that one of those scary video games? The video, the game basically, it's a video game. It's like an eight hour story and you're stuck in an abandoned asylum and you need to get out. I'm good. Dude. He won't make it far. He could play the demo. That'd be long enough.

Fuck you. You won't. I'll do the asylum. No, you won't. Were you one of those kids growing up who was like, yo, there's an insane asylum. Let's go fucking stay in it overnight. Absolutely not. Bro, people do that on Long Island all the time. I know. Everyone talked about like, yo, I stayed in an insane asylum. Like it was going to get them fucking laid. Bro, there was this. Yeah. Like, oh, you know. Oh, you stayed in an insane asylum? Ladies, this guy right here. Also, aren't those hospitals? I don't know what that is. Well, they're abandoned.

I know, but like... Like abandoned ones. Are you aware of a building that there's just quote-unquote insane people in?

I'm not. A mental health... Like, no flow over the cuckoos and that type of thing? I think mental health facilities still exist. I know, but, like, are they, like, called insane asylums? No, because the term insane asylum is... I think it's, like, kind of not cool to say that anymore. That's what I mean. You know? Well, like, I don't... Like, I think when you're younger and you think... I think of an insane asylum. I think of, like...

For whatever reason, like zombies and shit. Well, they got shut down because they were like inhumane. That's what I mean. Because they would be like, oh, you know, a guy in the fucking 30s would be like, my wife is menstruating, but she's crazy. Let's throw her in the asylum. And they fucking lobotomize this poor woman and she comes out drooling. Yeah.

Yeah. Before they knew what like schizophrenia was, they were like, oh my God, this guy's a monster. Yeah. Put him in a jacket where he can't move. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She has the blues once a week. So I sent her for a quick fucking brain surgery. Blues. You know, like. She's got the blues, doc. And then you'd go into those places and they were just like shackles in the wall and shit like that. Those are the places that were shut down. Yeah, that's fucking terrifying. I would never do any of that. I remember there was a story where it was like,

My phone is ringing and it's in my ass. Sorry. That was crazy. He didn't hate it. That was the eighth time it rang. He let it go for a while. Oh, it rang five times already. Sorry, I just came. There was a story that I would hear when I was younger. It was like, there was a baby that died over here. Or there was something about an insane asylum. It's like you would drive and there was children who died, blah, blah, blah. And then I forget who, but someone was like,

What you do is you put baby powder on your back windshield. They had all that shit. You see handprints on your car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You drive by and I'm like, yeah, listen. One, I don't believe that. Two, if it happened to me, forget about it. Yeah. There's all those where it's just like you're driving down this like very haunted road and like...

Because like the owner of this house was killed as they were drowned to death. So in order to pass, you need to spray water out your car in order to not get the ghost. It's like, shut the fuck up. I'm just going to go to bed. Just like, I'm not going to go there. I love, bro. I love all those. Like, I'm so glad we are in the, like the age that we are. We're like social media and the internet is basically just taking these like ridiculous things from back then. And people just like,

Guys, that was so stupid. Like back in the day when like these urban legends would be like, you know, oh man, that's old man Rick. And he killed his whole family with a shovel. So if you see him shoveling, he's planning his next murder. And it's just like, or it's a fucking poor old man that needs to go help him shovel. Like Home Alone where like, yo, that guy's killed people. He salts the sidewalks with the...

fucking bones of other children is like it's a guy taking care of the neighborhood yeah he's literally so he doesn't get sued by all these incredibly litigious people in Chicago suburbs not to mention he is estranged from his family let's feel bad for this man yeah instead of making up stories he was also old as fuck though

He wasn't that old. He was young enough to beat the shit out of two robbers with a shovel. Beat the shit. They had their backs turned, and he hit one when they had his back turned. The other one turned, and he hit him. Bro, Home Alone has been on in my house the last three days. The kids are obsessed with it right now. He knocked them off their feet, Frank. That's a big hit. And one of them is Joe Pesci.

What does that mean? You could beat up 1990 Joe Pesci? Yeah. You today could beat up 1990 Joe Pesci? I think so. That guy would beat the fucking brakes off you. Ant's kind of hulkish. How tall are you? I'm 5'11". At least he's honest. Yeah. Well, I mean, because, yeah. Can't get away with six foot. He is hulkish. He's hulkish. He strikes me as someone that would be like pretty strong. What can you bench?

I hate that. Like someone's strength is relegated to like what they could bench. Curious. Sounds like someone who doesn't have a high bench. I've always benched pretty well. It's just, it's just such a, like a funny thing to be like, how strong are you? How much can you bench? I'm more impressed by squats. Really? Yeah. That's fair. Squats a little easier though.

Than benching? Yeah, your numbers could usually be higher on the squat. Well, just because your leg muscles are larger than your fucking chest and your pecs. So what is your bench? I think I could get, like, I can't do 225 yet. I get, like, 220. I'm, like, right there. Yeah. 220, you can get 225. Bro, that five pounds is, it feels like a mountain. It is, it is. It feels like a mountain.

Yeah, you strike me as someone that's like crazy strong. Well, I'm still talking about Joe Pesci. I'm not saying I could beat up. I feel like... Daniel Stern would have beaten the shit out of you. Who's Daniel Stern? The guy that plays Marv. Oh. Or Harry. That's why I said Joe Pesci. Yeah, I'm not going to... That guy has weird eyes, you know? Crazy eyes. Yeah, he's got some stuff going on for sure. Maybe you could. He's got stringy hair. Such a good movie, dude. So fucking good. Classic. Legit, one of the greatest holiday movies of all time.

What was something that you said recently that I was like, that is so, oh, it was the trilogy. I will go to bat for Jackass forever and ever. Oh, God. Jackass is the greatest trilogy of all time. I didn't say the greatest. Now you're putting words in my mouth. I said it is consistently one of the best. Yeah. Because what it tries to do, it does exceptionally well. You open the fucking door. Here comes the flood of stupidity. I'm done.

Wasn't much of a flood then. Anyway, that is all for this week's episode. Frank, where can they find you? Well, you can find me at Big Buck Alvarez all over the music places. And you can download the Double Dude, which is available on July 4th at 12 a.m.

AM, baby. Make this a song of the summer. Show us that you're listening to it with your friends, enjoying a nice cold beverage, alcoholic, non-alcoholic, however you choose to engage and partake. All right, ladies and gentlemen, Big Buck Alvarez is here for a whole fucking summer for you. So keep your eye out. That debut single, The Double Dude, is available any day. Well, hooked up to the bottom there. Also, you were like, keep your eye out. He's talking to the one-eyed fans out there, which we probably have a few.

Just numbers wise. It's possible. It's possible. We don't know. Absolutely. Shout out to you guys. We love you. Yeah, we do. But yeah, that is all for this week. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. Everywhere. Everywhere. Go. See you guys next time. Bye.