137: Engaged and Enraged..
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COVID-19 and flu viruses disguise themselves to fool your immune system. That's why COVID-19 and flu vaccines are updated to protect you. Stay up to date on COVID-19 and flu vaccinations. Sponsored by Champions for Vaccine Education, Equity and Progress. So I'm not sure if you guys have noticed, but Justin and I are engaged. Yeah.

Oh, it's such a weird thing to even say. Such a different transition going from boyfriend, girlfriend to fiance. Yeah. You always ask people, most commonly, I think I ask people at their weddings, I'm like, does it feel different? Do you feel different? And they're like, no, it's just like yesterday and tomorrow. It's kind of the same. It's just a different thing.

I don't know. It did feel different though. It does. It was interesting. It does. Like nothing is different. Yeah. It's not like we moved and we're in a whole different world or whatever, but it just has a, I don't know. There's an elevated like connection. I don't know. It's weird to explain. It is interesting. You only can feel it once you do it, but yeah. Yeah. Wild. I haven't really had an opportunity to use it yet.

I think when you told me to text the dealership when you were coming. Oh, yeah. I said, my girlfriend, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then a little bit later, I was like, wait, no, that's not right. Okay, you know what's funny, though, is I was picking up your car from the oil change and the guy goes, oh, yeah, your boyfriend said, and I go, what?

He didn't say fiancé. I thought about it. It's a weird transition for sure. It is. I mean, we've been so used to boyfriend-girlfriend for four and a half years. It's, you know, overnight things change. Well, that's the common term. Like a lot of people don't usually... You're in the fiancé...

period for so short. Yeah. Usually. You really better use it. So it's kind of a blip of time where you're either really used to saying boyfriend, girlfriend, or you're used to saying wife, husband. But I think the fiance thing, everyone kind of just as you get used to it, then you get married and you're like, oh,

Then you're like, my fiance... Wife. Yeah. But then after that, I think you're in the clear. It's so funny. Well, we are so, so excited to share about our engagement with you guys. If you're watching on YouTube, you will see a little snippet of me walking out to, like, greet Justin and him about to go down on one knee. But we didn't want to put our whole, like, engagement video we're making into this. Um...

So we have it linked in the description. There's going to be a whole video with the proposal, some friends takes on it, things like that. And that's going to be on our THT Unsupervised channel.

But you'll see the video on Instagram and on YouTube if you're watching. But he did such a good job. He actually proposed at the spot that I said yes to being his girlfriend at. So it was really this full circle, amazing moment. And you put a lot of thought into it. A lot of time, a lot of stress, a lot of thought. I know. How long have you been planning?

A long time. I think the first time I told someone the idea was probably like 2020 or 2021. Oh my God. Yeah. You sat on that for two, three years. Well, it changed a lot. And the original idea I'm going to use for something. It's hard to explain. Okay. But I'll see it when I see it. The proposal just ended up needing to be

just get Morgan to the spot so that it can happen and make sure everybody's there. And then it can happen and go the way I'd like it to.

And it did. It was beautiful. So check that out, you guys. It's really cute what we're putting together. I just want to say like it feels weird talking about something so exciting and so happy for ourselves with so much going on in the world. I do want to just acknowledge, you know, how many people are being hurt and killed unnecessarily.

And there's so much violence going on. And as someone who is Jewish, half my family is Jewish. That being said, I don't agree with what's going on. I think it's tragic what's happening to Palestinians. Everyone deserves to live a happy, healthy life with freedom and basic needs being met. And I don't think anyone should have to live in fear of terrorism or being controlled by another government. And so...

It's one of these things where like I don't want to hurt anyone with what I say. I don't ever want to share misinformation. And I think there needs to come some crazy, crazy change and just people just need to be able to live their lives. I hate all of this right now.

And it's a very sad situation and scary times we're all living in. I mean, it's this. There's still ongoing issues in Ukraine. There's massive earthquakes in Afghanistan. I feel like we're kind of being bombarded with terrible things all around us right now. And I'm just thinking of everyone involved and affected by this. And I hope that things get better. All we can do is try to

Try to make it better. Well, and hopefully this episode's a nice little mental break. Yeah, I think a mental break for all is needed. So shall we get into this? Let's do it. Let's dive in. Okay. Do we want to get just kind of rowdy off the get-go? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So this one is six months old. It's coming from Am I the Asshole?

It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Bringing a Raccoon to My Sister's Wedding? Nice. So this happened last weekend and I'm still getting angry texts from my family. So let me explain. I have a pet raccoon named Pebble. He is very friendly and well-trained and I love him like a son. He goes everywhere with me and he has his own harness and leash. He is also vaccinated and has all the necessary papers.

I was invited to my sister's wedding, which was held at a fancy hotel. I asked her if I could bring Pebble. She said no.

She said it was inappropriate and disrespectful to bring a wild animal to such an important event. She also said that some of the guests might be allergic or scared of him. I was hurt by her response, but I didn't want to argue with her. I decided to respect her wishes and leave Pebble at home with a friend. However, on the day of the wedding, my friend called me and said that he had an emergency and couldn't take care of Pebble.

Convenient. I panicked. I didn't have anyone else who could watch Pebble, and I didn't want to leave him alone in my apartment. I also didn't want to miss my sister's wedding. So I decided to bring Pebble with me. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal. I put him on his harness and leash and put a bow tie on him to make him look more formal. I also brought some treats and toys to keep him entertained.

I figured I could just sneak him in and keep him in a corner where he wouldn't bother anyone. Boy, was I wrong. As soon as I arrived at the hotel, people started noticing Pebble. Some of them thought he was cute and wanted to pet him, but others were horrified and disgusted.

Damn.

I tried to apologize and explain the situation, but she wouldn't listen. She told me to get out or she would call security. She also said that I was no longer her brother and that she never wanted to see me or Pebble again.

I was shocked and hurt by her reaction. I felt like she was overreacting and being unreasonable. Pebble didn't do anything wrong. He was just sitting quietly in his harness looking adorable. He didn't bite anyone or make a mess or cause any trouble. I decided to leave with Pebble, but not before telling my sister that she was being a bridezilla and that she owed me an apology. I also told her that Pebble was more family to me than she ever was. Now, my family is mad at me,

They say I was rude and disrespectful to my sister and that I should have left Pebble at home or found another solution. They say I should apologize to my sister and beg for her forgiveness. But I don't think I did anything wrong. I think my sister was being unfair and cruel to me and Pebble. I think she should apologize to me for treating me like dirt. So, am I the asshole?

I just want to say, first off, Pebble was not involved in any of this. Pebble is an innocent victim. And I really want to see the picture with the bow tie. I know, me too. A little raking. Oh, I just love raccoons. I like little raking. I like pet raking. I wonder if anyone listening knows what that's from. Raking. But anyway, I would say...

Based on your decision to really not try that hard to find somebody to take care of Pebble, and then leading up to what you then chose to say to her, I would say, yeah, you're the asshole because first of all, you asked, she said no. She's in the place to say, this is my day and this is how I'd like it. And yeah,

I appreciate you asking, but the answer is no. Yeah. And at that point, the answer is no. That's first and foremost, because if this happened with every guest, you ended up with like a, just a circus of a wedding. Yeah. You know, with all like, oh, can I bring my random friend from over here? No. Can I bring my dog? No. Can I bring my two-year-old that's going to be very misbehaved potentially? No. If all those are no, then.

And all those people show up with these additional beings. Circus animals. Then like that's on those people because you have to make those choices going into a wedding. Totally fair. But then so showing up with him, Pebbles him? I don't know. I think so. Well, okay. Showing up with Pebbles is wrong.

So that's on you from the start. Now, the rest of the stuff that happened, like what she said to you, like, you're not my brother anymore. Where is that coming from? Because someone who just makes it, I can't even call it a mistake, makes the deliberate choice to go against what you wanted and bring an animal to your wedding. I don't think is grounds to say, you're not my brother anymore. And I don't want to see you

Or Pebbles. Pebble. Ever again, that's a little extreme. Yeah. But you can also be under the pressure from the day. She was engaged and enraged. And just freak out. But that's a little too far. So that's a little asshole-ish move on her part. Yeah. Even though he was in the wrong to begin with. And then the second aspect of that is then looking back at her and saying...

Pebble was always more family to me than you ever were. Yeah, he popped off. I feel like there's either they're very reactionary and they take things way too far, or this is a very deep-rooted problem between them. It does seem like Pebble has maybe ruined other family events or interactions. Pebble always comes first. I mean, it doesn't sound like this wedding was like a flight away. Right.

You know, with dogs, you can leave dogs home alone for four or six. Some people do eight hours while they're at work. I'm not sure what is right. I just know there's people that do a variety of things. It doesn't sound like you can even leave Pebble home for even just like going to the wedding. So it's like, I don't know how you're functioning in your regular life, but...

I think if like you tried to make these arrangements, the arrangements fell through. Like, sorry. Like at that point, you text your sister right then and there and you say, hey, my babysitter for Pebble fell through. I either can bring him or I can't come because I know you said, you know, you don't want Pebble there. But like you can give her the option. Like you did try. So he says to find arrangements. Did he though? No.

I mean... Like, canceling day of, I get, is super annoying, but... Maybe he only has, like, one friend, though. Yeah. I mean, it's tough, but I... In that situation, I would do anything to not miss that wedding, and I'm probably still not showing up with Pebble. Yeah. You know? Like, you find somebody. Yeah. Someone. Anyone. Even if it's a random coworker you're not that close with. Listen, I'm in a pinch. I need...

help i really need your help i wonder if someone off rover would like come watch potentially it just feels like all the options weren't explored it's like option a fell through all right i'm bringing like yeah no matter he's he's coming no definitely the asshole in this situation i will say though like if you're someone that gets invited to our wedding and you have a raccoon i might consider it

I'm down. I'm so down. There's already going to be the donkey. There's going to be horses. Okay, this is what I was just going to ask you. So my mom's friend has a camel. Would you be okay with a camel? Dude, let's get like a giraffe. Okay, I don't know about the giraffe, but the camel is very accessible. My mom's friend owns a petting zoo and she's got a camel. What else does she have? I think some llamas and stuff. But I envision the ponies in the Carrot Corral, so our wedding venue that we're putting together. Yeah.

at my family farm we're having like this little carrot corral so the horses can stick their heads out and if you want to pay to like have carrots for your guests at the wedding you can we're calling it the carrot corral so the horses would be sticking their heads out and then all of a sudden you just see a fucking camel yeah would they get along yeah you think yeah i think her camel lives with her horses so perfect i know i think it'll be really cool

Okay, we need to just... If we're going down that, we got to really dive in. I want... I, like, really want a carnival for a wedding. See, but now picturing that scene at the farm...

Even if a rake in came, you could there's so many it's acres and acres and acres. Yeah. You could find somewhere to hang with the like I get how it's different in a smaller. It sounds like a bougie like hotel type venue. Yeah. But like even when we've gone to friends weddings at these types of venues.

There's not as many places to stash a little raccoon. No. Versus like at the farm. Oh, you can't find anywhere? Sure. Like over there by that patch of trees. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like it's so easy. Yeah. But God, no, we'd have them close, especially with those little bow tie and just sitting there like, I'll support you guys. What if we had a raccoon be our ring bearer instead of little kids? It...

It's got to be like trained. Like that thing's got to walk straight down and hold up the little rings like that. I kind of want to see if we can find one. They have raccoons trained for movies. I think we could easily find one. I am down for anything that flies in the face of like tradition and expectation. Yeah. I like that video many years ago with the couples dancing down the aisle.

to the song. Yeah. And it was so informal. I just like things that the super classical traditional people would be like, duh!

what? Like this is an atrocity. Like I love things that's just kind of like that happened. So you're down for the carnival. The carnival vibes. I'm down. Yeah. Food trucks. Rides. Carnival. But safe ones. Yeah. They kind of sketch me out a little bit. Maybe a ring toss. Or like the scrambler. Does anyone know the scrambler? That's a good one. Yeah. Yeah. But I think...

We're different. We're a different breed with this kind of stuff. We're definitely weird. But back to her perspective, I just don't like what they said to each other. Yeah, they took it a little far. I'm just like, it's gotta... Even if the deep-rooted problem isn't pebble, pebbles...

Pebble? Pebble. It's coming from somewhere because that level of aggression out of nowhere is kind of crazy. Honestly, though, when you get engaged, sometimes you get enraged. The top comment on the original post is anyone else come in here reading the title and being like, well, we're in for a good tale today.

Someone goes immediately thought of the first new girl wedding episode and ain't no prank like a badger prank because a badger prank got badgers and it's dangerous as hell. Oh my God. I forgot about that. I did. That popped into my head about Winston and the air vent with the badger. It's so good. I thought about it. We got to watch that tonight. Yeah.

So OP does respond to a few of the comments from people. Basically, someone's like, you're the asshole, bro. It might be slightly less of an issue if this was like an outdoor woodland wedding or something, but you were indoors at a hotel. Do they even allow dogs in the hotel? You can't just bring a dog to a wedding. Why would you think you could bring a raccoon?

It is very clear that you need to develop a safe way to leave the raccoon at home in a crate or something when you need to be out without it. That said, I do love imagining a little raccoon wearing a bow tie to a fancy wedding. I wish I was a guest watching this go down. Yeah, I'd go pet him for sure. Same. Opie responds, I thought more people would think along the same lines as you. That would make it not an issue. Also, I'm pretty sure dogs aren't allowed. Pebble isn't a dog, though.

A pebble's more extreme than a dog. Yeah. If dogs were allowed, I would be like, okay, it's not that much of a stretch. But the fact that dogs aren't even allowed. Yeah. Bruh. Are raccoons closer to cats? Or where do raccoons fall in the tree of life?

I know they're neither, but... Are raccoons related to cat? Only distantly. The raccoon family is a separate branch on the carnivora tree. It's far closer to the canids than to the felids. I think that means dogs. Maybe. I don't know. Raccoons are actually not closer to either cats or dogs. Oh. Fucking family animal trees are crazy. Gosh, I'm just picturing Airbnb people and people that rent to...

You know, whoever. I know. And you have to start putting on there. No raccoons. Dogs allowed, but no raccoons. No this, no that, no this. Like, no squirrels. I feel like you have to say no and like list everything because if someone's like, well, they didn't say no turtles. Right, like pets allowed. Yeah. But which pets? Yeah. Okay, moving along. Okay, so I know we talked a little bit about dogs with our raccoon story just now.

So... No raccoon over here. No. We have some really cute crocheted animals, though, from our friend Charlotte in the UK. She came to our London meetup and brought a cute little rainbow cow and capybara. Are any of these in the next story? No. Oh, okay. No, it's about a dog. Okay. Um...

So this next one is titled, Am I the Asshole for Leaving the Engagement Dinner Due to My Fiance's Obsession with the Dog? Hmm.

I, 28 male, proposed recently to my girlfriend, 27 female. We are planning the wedding to happen next year. My fiance has a five-year-old golden retriever mix. I had a few bad experiences with dogs as a kid. Her dog is very friendly and he gets all the attention from my fiance. She denied some jobs that won't let her work from home as she is worried about the dog. I work from home three days a week and she only texts asking how the dog is.

I planned this very nice trip last weekend to celebrate our engagement. I booked a nice hotel and made reservations at a nice restaurant. One of our close friends stayed with the dog. My fiance asked her to text with an update every two hours, and I did my best to make it a wonderful weekend.

We had reservations for 7 p.m. at the restaurant. My fiancé didn't get ready until 6.40, as she hadn't heard from the dog sitter. When we arrived at the restaurant, we had to wait 30 minutes for a table to open. When we sat down, my fiancé spent the entire dinner on her phone trying to get a hold of the friend. I paid for the meal and got up from the table, telling her that I was going to wait in the car.

She came out about 20 minutes later, screaming at me for leaving her at the table alone. I yelled back that she ruined our engagement trip for putting the dog over us. We sat in silence all the way home, and she's thinking about going to stay with her parents. I'm now being called an asshole for leaving from the restaurant. Am I the asshole? Maybe. Maybe. Maybe not. It's tough because...

There are some people that are dog lovers. And it's like, my dog is almost my number one. And I have nothing... I'm not going to like cast shade at that. To each their own. You know, like if you love your dog that much, I love that. Because any dog that has a great home and isn't out suffering or going through all the terrible shit that a lot of the animals we have in this world go through, then I think that is great. It's a win. A win is a win. Like I love...

dog animal shelters and rescues and all that it's so beautiful and that's why we follow all of them on Instagram yeah we donate because I think that's some of the most amazing shit you can do in life but I also can get the side where it's like you have someone you're like we're here to celebrate this and make this a moment for us and when it's all the energy is directed somewhere else it's kind of like well could this have been figured out beforehand and

somehow, some way to, 'cause I know how defeating it is to really try and plan something special. And it's supposed to be you and I focused on each other and there's nothing in the world, barring like emergencies and things, but there's nothing that'll take us out of this moment. And this is for us and let's just celebrate us. Let's put the phones away.

nothing is here except for us in this moment. And it's almost like it's just you two in the restaurant or it's wherever you are and whatever you're celebrating. It's almost like everything else fades and it's just you two because those moments are so special. I know. And someone, they had a sitter, like the dog was very well taken care of with a friend. Enjoy the moment. But, but that's what I was unclear on. Like the friend showed up and confirmed like everything's good. Yeah. This was, it sounded like this was later and like,

The friend just hadn't updated, you know, once every two hours. Which, come on, girl. Like, I need an update about my dog once every two hours. Okay, I thought the friend never showed up. Get a fucking home camera that you can look at your dog and check in. Well, your dog's going to be fine. But like... Your dog is going to be A-okay. Especially for a dinner. I mean, it's when you're gone. It's one dinner. It's the people that leave and are gone all day at work every single day and their dog lives its life out in a crate. That's a different story. Yeah, it's tough. But being gone...

For a dinner? Yeah. That is a little extreme. An engagement dinner your fiance put a lot of effort into. I don't think he's the asshole. I think like he's at his wits end dealing with this competition between him and the dog. And to be honest, I'm surprised they've even made it this far. Yeah. Well, see, now I'm getting additional context here with the fact that the dog was well taken care of and it was only...

however long X amount of time, then yeah, it would be like, what the fuck are we doing? Yeah. Like who, who are you in a relationship with actually? Well, and I get like you committed to the dog, I think before, I don't know. It doesn't actually mention when she got the dog, but we know that he's proposed. It doesn't even matter though. And the dog is five. So maybe he came in to

to her life after she already had the dog but regardless like it's not like kids no but at the same time like you know that this dog is your girlfriend's fiance's life she loves her dog this dog is a fucking big priority for her

And you had bad experiences with dogs. You're not really even a dog person. You don't give the dog attention. Your fiance gives the dog all the attention it needs. It's a division that's just brewing right in front of you. Well, and this would be like someone like me. Oh my God, remember that documentary we watched on Disney Plus? It was about the guy that like free climbs all of the crazy rock walls. How could I forget? Insane. Insane.

I would not ever want to date someone who that's their passion. My anxiety would be through the roof. I don't want to ever have to get a call that my partner fell off the face of a fucking cliff. I wouldn't date someone like that. So you're kind of like know what you're signing up for? Know what you're signing up for. And like, yes, you can get upset that she couldn't take a break from this dinner. Like give me one moment to celebrate with you. Yeah. You're not focused on something else. And I would say like this is a preview of what the future entails. Like,

Like, this is a dog, but like, how is she going to act if you guys have kids? Is she going to be able to leave the dog at home for your honeymoon even? Or is she going to be checking up on the dog every one hour? That is true. Like, this is a preview. And I think if you're not happy with the preview you're getting, this is something that I wouldn't

advise moving forward on. Which is fair. It's just incompatibility. Yeah. It's not like... But the thing is here, it's not so much like you did something terrible and wrong and you did something terrible and wrong. Not at all. We're just a mismatch. Yeah. Like if someone else

You know, I could almost see someone else matching that energy. Like, oh yeah, let's pull up the video. Let's see what he's doing right now. Someone would. Yeah. There is someone for both of these people. And like, I think about, we went up to the Poppy Fields, like up in California a couple of years ago. And we ended up seeing like a big influencer dog when we were there.

Most annoying little fucker. Cute. Really cute. Poofy white Samoyed. All looks. Oh my God, did he cry the entire time. And they didn't let him touch the ground. Spoiled. Like just...

I think it's their bit where they carry him everywhere or something. And that's that dog's life. But he just cried. And I'm trying to enjoy nature and the peace and looking at the flowers. And I just was like, this was brutal. So there's people out there that are that vibe. And they literally don't go on trips that their dog can't go on.

And teach their own. Like, I'm really happy if that's the life you want, but I think she should find someone who's on that page.

then I'm not really interested because you're showing such a lack of care for me and what we have. And there's people who will fit that too. Like that's normal. So it's just a mismatch. And I...

Time to move on. Yeah. And it's kind of one of those situations where you think like, you know what you're signing up for. Yes. And also when you're going to think about proposing, you can't propose with the hope for change. Like, oh, yep. You know, they're obsessed with their dog. They're something that you see as a problem. And you're signing up and thinking, well, okay.

Okay, I'm going to propose and I just, you know, if that changes, it's all going to be great going forward. What you see is what you get. Any relationship you're in, you can't evaluate based on potential. Imagine what you have is what you're going to have for 10 years, 20 years, 30, with kids, without kids. And imagine it's at the best.

Because you can't assume, oh, like right now everything's great and it's never going to get worse than this. No, you got to know shit's going to hit the fan at some point. Yeah. Whether you're both getting two hours of sleep at night with kids, whether you hit financial stress, whether there's a great loss in one of your families or something. Yeah.

You got to know that it's not going to... This isn't the bottom. You're not signing up like, great, we're at the bottom. It's only going to get better from here. It's like, you got to assume they're at the... Pretend this is the best and have a threshold to go way down and come back up because it all flows in life. Life has seasons. I will say one last thing about this before we get into the top comments. Yeah. It is interesting that he even said to her like...

I paid for the meal and got up from the table telling her I was going to wait in the car. She came out 20 minutes later screaming at me for leaving her at the table. She was so focused on trying to get the dog sitter to answer that she didn't even hear him say like, I'm going out to the car. And then she got into the car and screamed at him. Like, this is not a screaming match problem. This is a, hey, I didn't appreciate you leaving me in the restaurant. And then he could have been like, babe, I told you I was going out in the car. Didn't you hear me?

See, I wish that was more explicitly said because when I first was like, maybe, maybe not, I was thinking like, it's...

I'm not one to ever leave someone sitting at a table by themselves especially if I'm thinking about you like I'll never leave you behind and just be like well fuck it I'll be in the car that's just that that to me I think he told her I think he told her that's different you know if if you are so if we're just so misaligned that how can you be so distracted too by like

How many times has she called the sitter? This friend. This friend is never going to sit again. Never. Like you didn't even hear him say, I'm going out to the car. He paid and said, I'm going to the car. Like, girl, come on. Top comment on this one. Call off the engagement. She's already married to the dog, not the asshole. Yep.

Okay. No comments from OP. No updates on this one. None needed. That's all we got. I don't even need an update. I don't know. I'm kind of curious what happens. I'm kind of good at that one. I'm kind of curious. Next! Pull the lever, Kronk! I've always wanted to be in a position in life where I can yell that across a room. Really? You know, where you're working somewhere and you're like, next!

That kind of thing. OK, yeah. Because at certain stores are really nice and wave flags. Next customer. But I would be like next. COVID-19 and flu viruses disguise themselves to fool your immune system. That's why COVID-19 and flu vaccines are updated to protect you. Stay up to date on COVID-19 and flu vaccinations. Sponsored by Champions for Vaccine Education, Equity and Progress. OK, moving along.

So this next one is two days old. It's coming from A-I-T-A-H. Am I the asshole, basically? Am I the asshole if I call off my engagement because of a comment my fiance made about my late wife?

For some background info, I, 43 male, have two children with my late wife, Kayla. Sam, 21 male, and Liz, 16 female. Kayla passed away when our kids were 15 and 10. I won't give specifics about how she passed, but she was struck by a drunk driver when she was on her way home from work. She really was the love of my life, and to say that her passing hit our family hard would be an understatement.

I promised myself that if I got back into the dating game, I wouldn't date anyone for at least a couple of years for the sake of my kids. Three years after my wife's passing, I met my now fiance. We'll call her Amanda. Things went slow, and I didn't introduce her to my kids until we had been dating for about a year at that point.

Now we've been together for three years and are engaged. Amanda and my kids have always had a good relationship. Neither of my kids are super close to her, but they've always been friendly and welcoming to her. And Amanda has never overstepped any boundaries my kids have, like trying to replace their mother. At the beginning of Amanda and I's relationship, she was a bit insecure of the fact that I was a widower.

During the first few months of us dating, she would constantly ask things like, if Kayla had never passed, would I still be with her right now? I always kept my answers brief and told her that I didn't like thinking about the what-ifs and that she was the one I was dating now and that was what mattered.

Eventually, she stopped making these comments and I stopped worrying about it. Now onto the issue. My parents were hosting a family dinner to celebrate my fiance and I's engagement. It was my mom and dad, my late wife's sister and her husband, Sam and Liz, and me and Amanda. Dinner was going well. We were all making small talk with each other and talked about wedding plans.

About halfway into dinner, my mom made a comment about how she was so happy I was able to find the spark I had with Kayla in someone else. I don't think anybody really paid much attention to the comment, but then Amanda laughed and said, quote,

The tone of the dinner immediately shifted and everyone got extremely tense, especially my kids. Amanda noticed the shift and started awkwardly laughing like she was trying to play off her comment as a joke. I was honestly just frozen as that was the first time she had ever made a comment like that.

My kids looked disgusted, and Liz got up and walked out to her car. Sam waited a bit longer, like he wanted me to say something, but I was still in shock about what Amanda had said. To make a long story about the dinner short, the dinner was kind of ruined. So I said my goodbyes to everyone, grabbed my fiancé, and we all drove home. My daughter hasn't spoken to me or Amanda since, and it's been three days.

I got tired of it and pulled my son aside to ask him what I should do. He said something along the lines of, quote, I'm a grown man and don't care who another grown man marries, but I don't want a woman who speaks like that about our mother around my sister. Sam's comments stuck with me, and now I'm considering calling off the engagement entirely.

She's never made comments like this before, but I'm worried if I let it slide this one time, it will become more frequent and it will affect my daughter. I need some advice from outside perspectives and just want to do right by my kids. Would I be the asshole if I called off the engagement because of the comments she made? I mean, no, that's your choice. You're not the asshole no matter what decision you make here.

But there's no letting it slide, as you say. That doesn't exist in this situation. Letting it slide is kind of the same as turning a blind eye to me. This needs to be addressed. One million percent. I don't know.

I don't think I've ever heard of a bigger fuck up in my whole life. That seems like kind of a Freudian slip, like something that like was just subconsciously eating at her. And there's not right. I'm not trying to justify her, but like what a fucking dumb ass to say something like that. Her sister was there. Well, especially in the arena that you're in. Come on, lady. Talk about someone who doesn't think before they say. That's the definition.

Because, but now that you know, as the guy, now that you know that that thought is spinning in her head. I wouldn't be able to say this. Let alone the fact that she just said it in this arena. I'm like, yeah, I am questioning everything. And it is, you know, calling off the engagement is such a giant term. It's more like, and I know it's the same, but this is where you consider breakup.

Uh, potential because it's just like, yeah, it was the worst moment for it to possibly be said and it, and all of that. But just the fact for me in my head right now, the fact that it's even a thought, let alone being said, um,

is what's concerning. And yeah, I think you forever changed the dynamic between you and those kids. I know as a kid in that position, you probably would never come back from that. I wouldn't be able to. You would never respect this person because forever from there on, you're going to think, well, I'm glad you are sitting there so happy, pretty next to my dad. And you're happy about it because my mom died. And that's what really gets with me.

There's other ways she could have gotten this like message across oddly, whatever she's trying to do, like in a different tone. Right. Like she used the words, I'm happy she's dead. She didn't say something like, you know what?

I'm so sorry that everyone had to go through losing Kayla. And I don't wish, you know, I wish she was still here. But yes, I'm really happy that I can also make him happy. Yes, but... But she's happy she's dead. And there is some element to this that I think people don't realize when if you're going to step up into...

It's unavoidable. When you start dating someone that has lost a partner, a wife, who you have two children with, you are stepping into a role that is kind of, there's gray lines on where the expectations fall within that role, but you're almost stepping up into a role to where you're not a replacement. You're an enhancement on the situation. And yes, it was tragic.

And things can move on and grow again after something tragic happens. It's kind of the world we live in and the life that we have is figuring out how to deal with adversity and getting past some of the most challenging things. And he did that. He found himself dating again. He opened himself up because it's commonly said that

Like, oh, if I died, I want you to find someone to be happy. I don't want you stirring over me the rest of your life and having that take you down. Like life short, you get one shot. Go live it to the fullest. But you still find, and this will circle back to my thought, you still want to find someone that has respect for what you've gone through and for the history of what your relationship was, especially considering you have two kids there.

Yeah.

Yes. Yes. And if you can't handle that, like, I understand dating a widower would be really tough. They didn't break up. She died. She was taken from him and they would still likely be together. 100%. Had she not been killed. Yeah.

So if you're not equipped to handle that mentally and you're going to be jealous of a ghost and insecure and threatened in your relationship from someone who is no longer present, don't date that person. Realize before you go down this path. Which honestly, now that you're reminding me of it, the questions about would you still be dating her if she hadn't died? Yeah. Coupled with the...

I'm glad she died comment. She's been hiding this for a long time. I think that for me gets me to the break off engagement place. So the top comment on this one with 6.7 K is not the asshole saying that she is glad that somebody passed so they can be happy is pretty fucked saying it at a family dinner with the person's family and kids there is beyond fucked.

While it is true and they wouldn't be in this position without their passing, it's not something one should be thinking about and definitely not talking about. Yeah. I mean, just be you. You would be thankful for the fact that you found someone that you love and they have this in their history.

And sure, yeah, if she hadn't died, you wouldn't be here. But that's not it's like she's in this kind of for the wrong reasons, it feels. And that insecurity is taking over. Well, and so the next comment says kind of something what I was saying. I mean, she could have said something like, quote, it was an unfortunate event for all of you. But I think she was the one who brought us all together to be there for each other.

Yeah, like you can say what you're what you're feeling like you are you are feeling insecure and like, oh, God, it's just so fucked. I there are people like this, too. That's like, I'm happy they died. I'm a bubble. It's like, what the fuck? Like, just so good. It's like, I love all of you so much that I'm so sad. You all had to go through this and.

I could never see myself stepping in and replacing what you all had. But I am happy to be here. I'm happy to continue the story forward in her honor. And I'm so excited to be part of this family. Like that to me feels like

It's what someone who's in it for the right intention would say. Yeah. So we have an update on this one. Okay. Wow. I didn't expect to get this much advice so shortly after posting this. Nonetheless, thank all of you for the advice and even the people calling me a bad father. I think your guys' words are what I needed to pull my head out of my ass. I will try to talk to my kids alone tonight before speaking with my fiance and we'll see where it goes from here.

I'm pretty sure my fiance and I are over though. I'll update late tonight or tomorrow on how the talks with everyone goes. Yeah. And update number two. This is an update post for those who've read my initial post.

I promised I would update everyone after I talked to my kids, so here's the update. It's kind of long, so I hope that doesn't go against the rules of this community. I'm also going to use this update as a way to clarify some questions. Did my fiance apologize to everyone at the dinner party? No, she didn't. I honestly didn't think it even registered or has registered to her that what she said was wrong.

Does fiancé have social anxiety? Not to my knowledge, no. In all the time I've known her, she's never shown any signs of social anxiety and doesn't have a history of it. How old was my late wife? She was 37 when she passed, and we were the same age. Amanda is 41. A lot of people were asking for clarification on the timeframe of her passing and when my fiancé and I met.

At this point in time, Kayla has been gone for about six years, and I met Amanda roughly three years after Kayla's passing. I didn't mention either of their ages, as I didn't believe it was important because we're so close in age, but I understand why a lot of you guys wanted to know.

While I'm writing this update, it's the day after I talked to my kids. So last night around 530, my fiance left for work. She works nights most days of the week. So I was able to call my son and ask if he could come over so I could talk to him and his sister. He goes to our local college and lives in an apartment near his school. When he started college, he wanted to move out, but also want to stay close to us. So he settled on an apartment a few blocks away from his college.

He came over and I called him and his sister into the living room to talk with both of them. When they were both seated, I told them point blank that I didn't think the wedding was happening anymore and that the comment she made was unacceptable.

I then, by the advice of the comments, apologized to them. I told them I was sorry for not saying anything for so long and letting the tension thicken in our home. I told my daughter that I understand why she hasn't spoken to me and that I was sorry for allowing her to think that I was even remotely okay with what she said.

I felt pretty spineless after we had gotten back from dinner that night, so I wanted to do everything in my power to make it right with my kids during this conversation. My daughter told me that she felt disgusted at the comment Amanda made, and even more so when I didn't defend her mother.

She then told me that the past two years that she's known Amanda, she felt like she's been gradually trying to push her and Sam away from me. One of the examples Liz gave was when my son moved out. He moved out when he was about to start his sophomore year of college. And when he mentioned the idea of moving out, Amanda was the one who took that and ran with it.

According to Liz, Amanda was the one encouraging Sam the most to move out. To be clear, I was never against Sam moving out, but I was clear to him that he was welcome to live at home for his college years and even after until he found where he wanted to be. I asked Sam if he felt pushed out by Amanda and if that's why he moved out. He said he hadn't felt pushed out before he told everyone he wanted to move, but after he put it out there, my fiance kept pushing for him to move out.

Liz cut in and said that every time she brings up college, Amanda keeps encouraging her to go out of state college. Liz doesn't plan on going out of state, and she's been open about wanting to go to the college Sam is attending right now. Liz said she feels like Amanda is waiting until she graduates high school and goes to college so she can move out.

A lot of the comments were right about the subtle comments eventually turning into Amanda wanting my kids pushed away from me. Liz said that she was scared that by the time I eventually noticed the way Amanda was acting, too big of a wedge would have already been driven between me and them. I told my kids that I'm sorry it's taken me this long to notice and that I was also sorry they've been walking on eggshells for so long. I hugged my kids and told them that no matter what, they are my top priority, not Amanda or anyone else.

A lot of the comments pointed out that even though my son is grown, he still needs his father. And I made sure to let my son know that I will always be there for him and his sister, even when they're well-grown. The entire conversation lasted about two hours. We covered a lot of bases we wanted to, and I got emotional on all sides. In short, Amanda and I are done.

I've made it a point to tell my kids that none of this situation is their fault and that Amanda is the grown woman who said what she said. My kids and I are okay right now, but they aren't 100% with me and probably won't be for a while. I'm completely fine with that and just want my kids comfortable in their own home. Amanda has tomorrow off from work, so I plan on talking to her tomorrow. I also plan on calling my mother to ask her why she thought it was okay to even bring Kayla up at the dinner.

Thank God she did, dude. Thank God she did. I don't want my daughter here when it all goes down, so she's staying tonight and tomorrow night with Sam. So that's where I'm at right now. Okay. Update three. I think update two is great. I think this is a genuinely good guy. Yes. Amazing. And everyone makes mistakes and everyone gets caught up in things, but-

To come back to it and be like, yes, this is the right decision for me and you guys. But really, you guys first is big. Yeah. I haven't read any of these updates, but I get why a lot of people were picking up on her kind of trying to separate him. But I wish there was more context. But I feel like it's kind of sad that the kids couldn't talk to him about it.

But also like in a lot of stories we've read on Father Knows, a lot of our write-ins do have bad relationships with a step-parent and their parent doesn't often believe them. Yeah. So I get it. Yeah, yeah. So his updates are very long. I'm going to try to condense a little. A lot of the comments told me not to bash my mom for the comments you made. Me. Like your mom brought this all out into...

clear vision. So I appreciate that. Yeah. Now thinking back on the situation with a clear mind, the comment my mother made towards Amanda was most definitely a compliment towards her. And that was confirmed in the call I've had with her. My mother, bless her heart, felt extremely guilty for the entire situation. She fully believed the situation all stemmed from her one comment.

I assured her that none of the situation was her fault and that I've never blamed her for one bit of any of this. We talked for a bit before I let her go. A lot of people in the comments suggested to secretly video the whole thing. I thought that was extremely smart, so I had my phone set to record in my back pocket the entire time. I didn't think she'd try to do anything drastic, but I would rather be safe than sorry.

The talk with her went about as well as anyone could imagine, so not well at all. I told her I needed to talk with her, that I was serious, and we sat in the living room. When we were seated, I began unloading at her about the comments she made about Kayla at my parents' house, how it made my kids feel, how it made me feel, her lack of an apology of any sort of acknowledgement to what she said, and so on.

I told her I expect her to give an apology to my parents, my in-laws, and most importantly, my kids. During the entire time of me unloading on her, she didn't seem to show any bit of emotion other than her eyes, which were slightly wider than normal. After I spoke my truth, she straight up asked, quote, so if I apologize to everyone, we'll go back to normal?

I told her point blank, no. I told her that the comment she made at dinner was not the extent of my problems with her. I then told her that I know she heavily pressured Sam to move out when he wasn't even sure if he wanted to at that point, and that I also know she is now trying to do the same with Liz.

I did my absolute best to leave my kids out of the situation, but told Amanda that the way my kids described her treatment towards them was the main reason I didn't see a future with her anymore. Amanda was stone-faced up until I told her we were done. I think that's when the panic set in for her. She kept saying that she'll apologize to everyone, that she'll make it right with my kids, etc., etc. I told her that if she apologizes, I will certainly appreciate it, but we were still done either way.

She was full on crying at this point and asked me, why wasn't I willing to try and fix our relationship? I told her that even though I loved her, and I will be honest, I still love her very much, I was not willing to take another chance of my kids being hurt against the way they were. Damn, yeah.

I was frustrated and shot back at her asking her why she was trying to push my kids out of their home. And I got back an answer I was not at all expecting. I was completely shocked at her response, but a lot of you guys won't be. A lot of commenters actually hit the nail right on the head with what Amanda was truly like. Amanda responded with, quote, "'Well, I didn't know you expected me to house somebody else's kids for the rest of my life.'"

Terrible fucking person. I mean, that's this is the responsibility that comes with going into that role. And if you can't handle that, don't fucking date people with kids. Yeah, it's not the situation like when you meet someone and you don't want to hear about their ex. You don't want to hear anything about all of that. This is a whole different ballgame.

You need to acknowledge, respect, and be part of that family. Even though she is not here, she is still part of the family. I'm sure there's like not even pictures of the mom up on the walls. Like just so bad. OP does go on to say, I immediately saw Red and after about a minute, I told her to get out.

Um, I told her my kids can go wherever they damn please, especially in the house that I own and pay for. She tried to retaliate, but in the end ended up packing a few bags and going to stay with one of her friends. I emailed a copy of the phone recording to myself. It only lasted about 25 minutes, not nearly as long as the talk I had with my kids. So if anything ends up coming of the conversation, I have all that I needed to, to keep my name clear.

Yeah. My daughter's coming back from her brother's place in the afternoon, and I still have phone calls to make to my parents and in-laws to apologize. Amanda is out of my house, but keeps blowing up my phone for us to try to work things out. I'll be honest and say that I am a bit devastated. Despite everything Amanda did, I still love her, and I probably won't stop loving her for a minute, but I'll be okay. I'll update if anything else happens. Yeah. We haven't really talked about that side, but you do feel bad for him because it's hard to lose someone that

I mean, you're engaged to, you're ready to take that next step. You've healed enough from losing your first wife

to heal and like, it's so amazing for you to get it back out there, date and find someone that you're this serious with and for it to end this way. It just sucks. I mean, and it, it was coming it with the, with the situation with the kids and with the underlying tone and the comments and just, it was, it was, it was going to happen still. It's heartbreaking regardless of how it happened and everything. And you're mad and it's still hard to get over somebody. Yeah.

It's tough. I hope, I hope he can do it again. I know. And find someone that is okay with kids. Which will be so refreshing. Yeah. You know, it'll be so refreshing. You find someone that instantly is like, yep, I have full respect for everything you've been through and I want to keep celebrating her and everything she was in this situation and continue that. Like that. And if you find that, that'll be so refreshing to where you're like, holy fuck. Like this is, this is great. Yeah. Yeah.

Wish him the best. I'll be sure to try to link the story. So if you guys want to follow the account for updates, you can. But moving along. I gotta go pee. Oh, wow. COVID-19 viruses like me change to fool your immune system and make you sick. But updated vaccines help protect you. Stay up to date on COVID-19 and flu vaccinations. Sponsored by Champions for Vaccine Education, Equity and Progress.

Do you want to get a little mad for someone? Love to get mad. Do you also want to be engaged and enraged? Me? No. I'm fine with engaged, but I don't want to be enraged. No, but you are engaged. And now you can get enraged for this next person. Okay. Okay. So this one is titled, Am I the Asshole for Not Giving My Engagement Ring to My Dead Fiance's Family?

Like, give it back? Deleted account because my new job friends know my usual account and they don't know that I used to be engaged. Dead fiance's name is John, and I'll start at the beginning, about four years ago. I was engaged to John after dating for four years. When he proposed, the ring he used was two sizes too big. We went to the store that he bought it from two weeks before proposing, and he kept the receipt.

gotten the right size, and kept the same style. We did plan to have a wedding, after three years of planning and saving. Ten months after the proposal, John passed away in a car accident. I used the savings for the wedding to pay for his funeral. The day after the funeral, John's brother came to me asking for the ring. I asked why. His response was that the ring had been passed down their family for five generations.

told him that was bullshit because I have proof of the ring being bought for me less than a year ago. We argued for a bit and he then stormed out. Then I get calls from John's family saying I'm a liar and demanding the ring. Then I got a letter from their lawyer saying

In the letter, they also demanded that I reimburse them for the cost of John's funeral. So I got myself a lawyer, showed the proof about the ring and the fact that I paid for the funeral in court and I won. I thought the madness was over until John's sister recently messaged me.

She and her boyfriend are engaged, but haven't gotten a ring, and she wants John's ring. After I said no, she went crazy and messaging me nonstop demanding. I have blocked her over and over, but she finds a way around it. I was having brunch with my friend. My mobile was on the table. A message from sister popped up, and my friend saw it. My friend knows about everything. Before sister's first message, I explained about her messages, and

And friend believes I'm the asshole and I should give her the ring. She told my other friends and they are all saying the same thing. Now I'm doubting myself. So am I the asshole? So is it passed down or no? No, the brother was lying. No. We have some edits. I feel like we should just read them to get into it. But right off the bat, not the asshole. I fully, fully think she should keep the ring.

Yeah. That was her ring. What's all the shit about passing down? And like, no, that's ours. Like, I'll take that for our engagement because I'm his sister and that like belongs to us for some reason. They're clearly conniving con artists, lying pieces of shit. They also tried to go after her for funeral cost reimbursements, which first of all, she paid for the funeral with wedding money that they were saving.

Why wouldn't his family help pay for the funeral? They're not married. She's not obligated to pay for this funeral. But then they lie and not only come after her for an engagement ring that isn't a family heirloom, they come after her for fucking funeral costs that they didn't even pay for. These are pieces of shit. And I get their grieving, but they are fucking conniving assholes. Because what that tells me is they either...

Are so deeply affected and just going through insanity because of this loss that they're making these weird decisions and claims or they really don't care. I think they're just like because trying to get away with it, but like not even stepping up to and it wasn't mentioned for it wasn't mentioned that happened, but it wasn't mentioned that they didn't do it.

Did they offer to come and do this? I assume not, because otherwise you wouldn't have paid for the whole thing. So I'm in an awkward, weird position in between like, obviously, yes, they have a big loss. But are they really taking that loss so hard that it's making them do this? Or are they just like this? Let's get into some of the edits. The top comment, which...

I'm not sure when it came in, before or after the edits, but the top comment is, talk to a lawyer. You are being harassed by the greedy, lying, litigious family of your deceased partner. None of them deserve a damned thing from you, much less your engagement ring your fiance bought you. Yeah, that's fucked. His sister can get her ring out of a gumball machine for all you care. It is not your problem or responsibility to provide her with jewelry, not the asshole.

And you need better friends. If they are siding with the sister, your ring was important to you. It is yours. Why would you ever lose it? Where are the friends coming from? That was weird. I don't get that. That was so strange. I don't understand that at all. Because any normal friend would be like, what the fuck? No. The family heirloom thing would be one whole different story. Yes. Yeah.

Completely different. And that's where I could see the friends like, yeah, you should probably like, you know. If it's a family heirloom, give it back. But. But even that, I don't know. It's tough. I would probably think give it back. Regardless. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. The friends. Yeah. I literally don't know what to say. I know. This one's baffling. So OP goes, thank you. I have contact at.

Fuck. I hate when life puts people in those positions. After she's already gone through so much. Yeah, now you have to feel like unsecure in your own home and...

God, I wouldn't want to fucking move. Yeah. I'd be like, I'm out. So, Edit, thank you all for the support. The typical yada yada. Extra info about The Ring. The Ring is part of a company that designs jewelry based on movies and mass produces each style in different sizes. This company started after 2000. When we went to the store to get the right size, John asked for Ring 1 to be swapped with right size and same style. It turned into Ring 2.

If he did modify ring one with any family diamonds, he would have asked for ring one to be resized after the swap and when telling his parents about the engagement.

I showed them the ring and John told them about where he brought it and about the size swap. Parents never said anything about an heirloom ring or family diamonds. It was after the funeral when they started saying their great, great, great grandparents were the ones that brought this ring and it's an heirloom. But you have a goddamn receipt saying you just got it from this place? Liars.

Extra info on funeral costs. John's parents messaged me about not being able to afford the funeral. My thoughts at the time was the reason they couldn't afford it is because sister is about to start college and put the wedding fund for good use because the wedding isn't going to happen anymore.

I paid for everything for the funeral. The parents didn't pay at all. I guess during my grief slash shock of John's death might have made me forget that his family owned most of the business and housing accommodations in our town. It was during court that I found out that he had a life insurance policy. That money went to his parents, and it was two times the cost of his funeral.

Extra info about court. When I received their lawyer's letter, I thought it might be fake, but I called my friend who is a lawyer. I explained the situation to him and asking him to check if this letter was real or fake. He told me to meet him with the letter and all the documents for the ring and funeral. He said the letter is real and he will help me.

I did think that after their lawyer saw my proof, that might be the end of the madness. But next thing I knew, we were in court. Most of the time, I was confused, but I just spoke the truth and showed all of my proof. The judge awarded me to be reimbursed for funeral costs, legal fees, and emotional distress.

Nice. Good judge. Nice. The reason why John's sister wants the ring. In her first message asking for the ring, she said that John would want her to have it. It would feel like John is a part of her next step in life and let his spirit know he has not forgotten. Sister knows that the ring was bought by John because she was at the engagement party. At the party, we told everyone how the proposal went and about swapping rings due to size issues.

I should have mentioned that the ring is Lord of the Ring themed and we were planning on a Lord of the Ring themed wedding because we met at a Lord of the Rings event. Oh, that's cool. I recall Sister telling John to change the ring to Disney theme. Her protest of our theme idea and saying Disney wedding instead during engagement party. Because that's what I want. Why does she want it?

To explain why my friends think Sister shoved the ring, the friend from brunch who saw the messages from Sister and told others about it read Sister's first message asking for the ring. Friend believes these are good, valid reasons from the sister. Friend also believes that the ring should actually be used, not stuck in a box somewhere or most likely lost. I pointed out that I do use the ring. I wore it during engagement, court madness with his family, and kept it on for a year after I won the case."

Now, I wear the ring on his birthday and anniversary of our first meeting, when he proposed and when he died. Friend called me a sad, selfish asshole and stormed off. Okay, bye. Bye. Are you kidding me? Next thing I know, my other friend started messaging me about me being an asshole and sister should get the ring. Time to move. Seriously, that was my gut feelings. Just move. I would move. Yeah. Yeah.

Just fucking madness. What the fuck? Why is everyone in your life all of a sudden against you? What's that about? It is interesting. OP does mention at the end of the post, like, I'm in contact with my lawyer friend again. I'll update if anything happens. This was only posted eight days ago. We don't have an update yet. There are some...

comments from OP basically saying be strong Frodo obviously not the asshole F these golems it's yeah I got it okay I didn't I didn't know if you've seen Lord of the Rings um no but I'm aware didn't you read The Hobbit in school

I think you've asked me this. I'm not sure. I read that in eighth grade. The Hobbit. Great book. Potentially. Good time. I don't think so because I'm not. My precious little ring with Gollum. Yeah, no. Crazy. Yeah. Hey, before you, I hadn't even seen Star Wars. So, you know, we make progress. That's also, yeah, kind of sad. There's lots of comments from OP, but I feel like

A lot of her comments are actually kind of included in that update. There's just a lot of clarifying. I feel really bad for her. I do too. We can be friends. Yeah, if you need new friends, for sure. Fuck these people. I like that she wears the rings on those special days. The ring on those special days. Yeah.

Yeah, you should be fully entitled to do that. Yeah. And like, I can't imagine like, I just don't even like thinking this way. But if something happened to you, your family would never, ever ask me anything.

No fucking chance. Ever. No fucking chance. Ever. Like it's... And they would not not pay for shit with the funeral and whatever. Doesn't like... Doesn't matter what financial position you're in. No. You would do something. You would do everything you can to... Like, come on. That's why I'm like... It's baffling. That's why I'm like, do they care? Yeah.

I feel like these people, like, knowing the context of the fact that they own, like, all these apartments in their town, they just seem like rich assholes that think they can fuck with people. Like, oh, we lost one, but we got others. Like, that's what I'm picturing. I'm just like, what? Or just like, I mean, I don't, the thing is, it is interesting. Like, this was a very personal ring. It's a Lord of the Ring themed engagement ring.

Which I want to find. I am curious. Yeah, I want to see these themes. There's a couple from Brilliant Earth. There's some from a couple different companies. I would want an emerald ring if I were proposed to. An emerald one? If you had proposed to me, what ring would you have chosen? More of like a wedding band, right? Yeah. Yeah. But I would probably do like an emerald buried into it. That's what I was envisioning.

But there is one that's a sleek, elfish engagement ring that's just kind of yellow gold. Okay, let's see. And it's got like elfish kind of written into it. Look at that stone. I know. It's a really pretty little diamond in the center of it. But I understand wanting it.

If like the fiance didn't want it, it was too painful or whatever. It is a nice token to have of your like your brother's intention, but it was never meant for you guys. It was never your brother's ring. It was bought for his fiance. And it's like if you were shitting on the Lord of the Rings at the engagement party, why do you want a Lord of the Rings ring? And if you want it,

Go buy it. It's mass produced. Go buy it. And every time you look at it, it'll remind you of your brother. It doesn't have to be that same ring. Screws loose. A lot of screws loose. You know what? The girl from the last story, she needs like some kind of ring shaped like her dog. 100%. Oh, wow.

That's what you would have to do. It'd have to be a diamond shaped like a dog. Or it'd have to be the dog's birthstone from the dog's birth month. That's so aggressive. It would have to be. Yeah. But I think OP is going to pursue the right path. Again, working with her lawyer friend by the sounds of it. No, OP's got her shit together. Yeah. But we'll have to watch out for updates on this one. For sure.

hey if you're in la let's be friends yeah not be friends not the asshole at all keep holding on to your guns and hold strong because god i can't imagine feeling like you almost like if a family's attacking you this much and like taking you to court and yeah you're like on an island and your friends fuck the friends come on but you almost start to feel crazy where you're like am i wrong am i wrong for not giving the ring back which is why she wrote in which is so sad like

No, it's a beautiful token. But like nobody's saying that, right? No, no. On Reddit, the overall vote was not the asshole. And there are 2.5k comments full of support. I like the Reddit people.

I do like my Reddit people. I'm searching right now and there is not. I like my Reddit people. There's not one you're the asshole from what I'm finding. Yeah, you're ready. You're ready. Yeah. No, no, you're the asshole. Everyone I see. And I just went I went pretty far down.

All not the asshole. Good. And rightfully so. Yeah. Okay, moving along. Yes. Need new glasses or want a fresh new style? Warby Parker has you covered. Glasses start at just $95, including anti-reflective, scratch-resistant prescription lenses that block 100% of UV rays.

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It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Calling My Fiance Delusional for Wanting Me to Let His Mom Pick My Makeup Slash Look for the Wedding. My fiance and I are getting married. He comes from a conservative family and his mom has been up in the wedding planning posing as supervisor to oversee and to, quote, catch and eliminate anything that could be seen as offensive.

After the wedding dress fiasco, I was told to get a dress that wasn't showing too much skin. Next came the makeup issue.

I showed my fiance some looks I wanted to choose from, and he gasped and said his mom would have a stroke if she saw these. Dude. I, in frustration, asked, what should I do? And next thing I knew, but did not expect, was for her to send me looks of models with almost no makeup or very light makeup. No eyeshadow, no glowy lipstick, just dot, dot, dot, plain look.

I refused to choose from any of her suggestions, and we had an argument. My fiancé came home and argued about how I'm planning on humiliating him and his family at the wedding by wanting to look like a, quote, clown and make a joke out of both of us. I snapped and called him delusional to think I'll let his mom get a say in what makeup I should wear since it's my face.

He said there's no such thing as mine and yours in marriage and that I'm clearly too immature for it. He has been avoiding me while saying, quote, you know why I'm avoiding you. And his mom sent a text about how she has my best interests at heart. Am I the asshole? 100%. Are you kidding me? No. Not the asshole.

Girl, you gotta run. Do we even need to say anything? Isn't this just common sense? So obviously just... There's three people about to be married. Her, him, and his mom. No, there shouldn't be. There shouldn't be. You know what I'm picturing? That's what it will be, though, if she chooses to move forward.

You're getting a preview. Oh, yeah. Imagine this is makeup for your wedding. Imagine kids. No, guess what? This, all of a sudden, we're transporting back to the Marie Antoinette days. And I'm picturing you waking up

And the mom's right there, ready to get dressed for the day. Oh, my God. That's what the movie was. Yeah. She couldn't dress herself. Like, might as well move into the castle. Here we go. And guess what? I think everyone's going to stand around your bed the night after your wedding and make sure it's consummated. Consummated? Yeah.

It's very close to constipated. It's weird. But that, I think she's going to be there. She'll be there the night you consummate your wedding. She'll be there the next morning to make sure you dress in the right attire. She'll be there making sure your kids have a proper breakfast. And you know what? She'll be there making sure your kids go to the right school. She'll be there during your child's birth. She'll have financial problems and move into your guest room. She'll make sure you're giving birth the right way.

No epidurals. Natural way only. Oh, she'll have her face up in there. She'll be like, I'm making sure this baby comes out right. This is scary. She won't miss it. Like with the camera, like Jerry did. She'll be zoom the fuck in. I think it's time to break up. She'll be standing across the room on 15 times zoom. Just kidding. She'll be like face first. She is nuts. Listen, is this like a question of...

This should be like a question of should I proceed? Not am I the asshole? This is like, should I proceed or do I get the fuck out of this crazy shit? Yeah. And I think it's it's kind of a big, big glaring red flag of him being like, there's no such thing as mine and yours in marriage. You're clearly too immature for it. And then he's punishing her by stonewalling her and avoiding her. And yet when he sees her being like, you know why I'm avoiding you, you you know why?

No, this guy's a child. Obviously still very much a child. This guy's a puppet. He's a puppet. He's doing everything to please his mom. Every single aspect of it. Oh, that would disrespect me and the family. No, it would disrespect my mom. It would make my mom mad. I mean, you're right. Yeah. I just think it's weird. Again, you kind of look at these people and it's like, how did you guys get engaged? How'd you make it this far? Yeah.

Maybe. Well, but... And stuff comes out after. Yes. A lot of times, you know, you get that commitment, they get locked down, engagements, marriage, pregnancies, and once they're locked down, then the abuse can start. I get that. So after we got engaged and you... Because so many stories have been like...

uh, yep. As soon as you get engaged or married, the guy changes, everything changes. And it's not always the guy, but most commonly I'd say. And I'm just like, after we got engaged, like after I'm like, am I changing? Am I different? Nope. I'm the same guy. I'm still the exact same. I don't, I don't know. I don't get how you would change. Like I'm picturing a

You know, when we're married, there's no difference. We'd still be sitting here recording the same episode, except it's going to be like marriage stories. And I'm still going to be the exact same. And I feel like 10 years in, I'm still going to be sitting here like, oh, still the same. Who changes? A lot of people do, especially abusers. Like there's one story I read recently, and I don't know what theme I put it in.

Which is kind of scary. It wasn't long ago, though. No, and it was this one where... Maybe it was a comment on the post. But it was about how this woman got married and the wedding night, the door shut on their hotel room. And she goes immediately. His mask came off. What a fucking nightmare. And he was just the most terrible person. And he literally openly admitted, like, well, everyone changes after they get married. Like, I...

I don't have to try so hard anymore. And immediately was just a crazy, terrible person. But this isn't fucking Bridgerton where you make the choice for your partner and that's your duty. And now you're locked in no matter how you feel or what happens. You are locked in. We don't live in that world anymore. From the guy's perspective, like, ha, I got you locked down now. Now I can do whatever I want. No, you fucking can't.

Not in 2020 fucking three. What are you talking about? It's just as like, I don't care if your boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance, fiance, husband, wife, husband, husband, wife, wife, whatever combo you are, no matter what level your relationship is at, you can still easily walk away. I get kids make it complicated, but it's still, you can find the, there's,

There are things in place today where you can leave and get out of a bad situation for yourself and you can still find the right way to co-parent kids. You can still find the right way forward. Usually. It depends on obviously where you live, what country. Yes. But hopefully you can because no one should be stuck in something that they absolutely dread every day and they're in an abusive, toxic, horrible relationship. Yeah. Especially in modern times.

And especially with the story we're talking about here. That's what I see the future being. I agree. So I would love to go do this for my 40th or my 50th. Whatever big birthday or milestone you guys hit, it's like...

It's going to be only if the mom approves and if she's involved or doesn't want to be or it's going to like every decision you make in life. Like, oh, I think we should get our kid this stroller. Oh, let me call my mom real quick. Let me see what she thinks of it. That's going to be every single decision in life for him is going to be. Well, let me see what my mom thinks. Yeah, I just got really sad because I just saw a comment.

And I went to go look at OP's account to see if there were any updates or comments from OP. Account has been suspended. The top comment on this one, though, not the asshole. Do not marry this person. Do not marry this person. Do not marry this person. All caps. Unless you really want to marry his mom, because that's who's calling all the shots here. But seriously, don't marry someone who would call you a clown and an embarrassment. You deserve better.

Edit to add, even more so because you're pregnant. Pregnancy is difficult. Child raising is difficult. Doing those things with a gaslighting husband and toxic mother-in-law is actual hell. You really deserve better than that. She's pregnant? I did not get that part. She didn't include it in the original post at all. And it must have been in a comment from OP. No. I'm not seeing comments...

from OP anywhere. Okay. So what I was saying really holds true here. Like there's ways to get out. There's ways to do this. You'll be fine. Yeah. And if you feel like you are in an abusive relationship, there are many shelters and resources in place where you can call and

you know, get help. You don't want to confront them. A lot of times if you, especially if you have children, you want to just try to leave when they're gone. But there are resources out there. And I think you can attempt, which sounds very far-fetched in this case, but I think you can attempt to draw a boundary with him and his mom. But it's

I don't know what's up with this. Yeah, well, I did find the comment that Opie shared the info on about being pregnant. And so someone goes, info, why are you two getting married? You don't seem to be on the same page about anything. Opie responds, the wedding wasn't supposed to happen anytime soon. But since I found out I was pregnant, his parents wanted us to get married as soon as possible. I'm 24 and he's 27.

don't get married. Having a baby is not a reason to get married to someone they don't want to be married to. But it makes sense why they're pressuring because they're conservative. They're very religious or what did he, what did she call it? Conservative family. And so having a child out of wedlock is a no-no. It's an embarrassment. And so now they're pressuring them to get married. It's also funny. She's 24. He's 27. Three-year age gap. Not a bad one. And he's being like,

Oh, you're clearly too immature for marriage. Yeah, that's stupid. Buddy. And like, this isn't medieval times anymore. Or even like, I mean, it all came up until probably the early 1900s. All that just like... No, recent.

I mean, my mom, she had my brother at 19 and she got a lot of pressure to have an abortion because she got pregnant right out of high school. I think she was pregnant her senior year and wasn't married. And my mom did almost marry Matt's dad. And that would have been the worst decision ever.

Worst mistake of her life. Yeah, it's like she was pressured by so many people close to her to have an abortion and not just with Matt, but with me, too, because she was also still unmarried. The world I got called like a bastard in school. Like people said, oh, you're a bastard to me when I was in school.

I went to school from 99 until 2012. Like, that's really recent. Oh, it would be so shameful. It's just so stupid. Get over it. Like, grow up. Move on. The world is changing. People are evolving. We're not stuck in the medieval times. It's really bad. So, ugh. Okay, moving along. Moving along.

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Go to warbyparker.com slash covered to try five pairs of frames at home for free. warbyparker.com slash covered. Okay, I think this is our last one. Okay. Okay. Wow. This one is titled, Am I the asshole for refusing to pay for my sister's wedding dress after she ruined mine? Hey Reddit, long time lurker, first time poster. This situation has been eating me up and I'd really appreciate some outsider perspectives.

So my 28 female sister, 26 female, and I have had our ups and downs, as most siblings do. However, we've been really close the past few years, and I was so excited to have her as my maid of honor for my wedding last year. Flashback to my wedding day. I had this beautiful dress that I spent a fortune on. After the ceremony and during the reception, I noticed some red wine had been spilled on the bottom of my dress. I was devastated.

I later found out from a bridesmaid that my sister had accidentally knocked over her wine glass when she was trying to take a funny photo. She didn't come forward about it and didn't even apologize when I confronted her.

Fast forward to now. My sister is getting married and she's fallen in love with a dress that's way out of her budget. She asked if I'd help her pay for half of it as her wedding gift. I flat out refused. I brought up how she ruined my dress and didn't take responsibility, and I feel like I shouldn't have to contribute towards hers. Now my family is divided. Half of them think I'm being petty and that I should let go of past grudges. The other half think I'm justified. I'm not going to let go of my

So am I the asshole for refusing to pay for my sister's wedding dress after she ruined mine? I think really what the problem is here is I think you're entitled to choose your own gift. Yeah. I don't think it should ever be. I mean, maybe there's some situations like, oh, you could just make that my gift. But this is is a lot bigger than that. It feels where it's like, oh, well, you could just, you know, pay for half of this ungodly expensive dress.

And that's your wedding gift. It's like, well, what if I had already had ideas or I wanted to get you something specific and meaningful that wasn't necessarily half of your dress? Also with the context that I'm still offended about what happened with mine. I know. And it's the fact that she didn't even apologize. If she would have been like, I'm so sorry. I was a little tipsy after the day. That happened at the wedding? I spilled.

Yeah, it sounds like based on the post, it was after the ceremony and during the reception, I noticed some red wine had been spilled on the bottom of my dress. Got it. Got it. It doesn't say when she accidentally knocked over the wine glass trying to take a funny photo. It doesn't give more context of like, was this during getting ready or and it was like it was on there all day, like including your pictures. Yeah. Or like, did this happen after? Yeah.

For me, here's where I'm like hyper analyzing this one. If it was while the dress was hanging up, then I'm like, holy shit, she should have said something because people could have tried to get it out. People could have tried to fix it. And then she would have known the photographer could have maybe wrinkled the dress in certain ways or placed the veil in certain ways to hide the wine. Sure.

then, you know, you gotta come forward. You gotta be the bigger person in this and you fucked up. It's your fault. Admit responsibility. Apologize. But otherwise, if it's a mid-event... If it's a mid-event, it's still really, really shitty. She still should have done all of the same things.

But I don't know if anyone else has noticed this. I noticed it for the first time really bad during my friend Kate's wedding when I was a bridesmaid and my dress was cream. And after all day and night walking through to take pictures, walking through this venue that was like an industrial kind of venue, like

I looked at the bottom of my dress and I didn't even want to put it in my suitcase to go home. It was black. Yeah. From the dirt and dragging. And I feel like a lot of times people's wedding dresses kind of get really, really dirty. Like my friend Kate's dress got really dirty from the same place. Like, so shit happens. You might spill. People might spill on you as they go to hug you. So...

I kind of get like certain things kind of come with the territory. Like someone could spill red wine on the ground and you walk through it and you're just you didn't have your your thing, your dress. I'm forgetting what it's called when you latch it up. So you take your train. Bustier? No, no.

bustle. So you bustle your dress. And so essentially you like take the long train and you can like elegantly pin it back on the dress. So it isn't so long and dragging, but there's so many things that can go wrong. And I think the bigger thing here for me is the fact the sister wasn't accountable and didn't apologize or come forward. The bridesmaid had to come forward and tell her

And I think that's the bigger problem. Yeah. But absolutely not the asshole. What you choose to do with your money is your choice. And if it's that out of budget, like she should probably just find another dress that's similar and fits. And I have a question for the class. Okay. Just being that I've never thought about, you know, wanting a wedding dress and thinking about that purchase in my future. Yeah.

So when I buy clothes or shoes or anything that gets used over a period of time, I buy really expensive quality items when I'm like...

I absolutely love this. And the quality means it'll last for a very long time. If I spend a lot of money on something that isn't going to be used continuously for the rest of my life. Yeah, like a wedding dress. Because my thought is this. If you have money or if you don't have money, if you want to spend your money in a certain way,

100% your choice. But when you're faced with a problem of, God, I love this dress, but it's way out of my budget and it's going to put me in a very bad position, then you start to look like, yeah, it's probably not the smartest choice. Can you not find a similar look

for way less than the price. Because I know with most clothing items I've ever seen, whether it be dresses of yours or clothes of yours, can you not find one that may not be that name brand, may not be made out of the super nice, perfect materials that the super expensive one is, but gives you the same look and the same feeling? You definitely can. And there's also sample sales. Like a lot of even the big designers still have sample sales. So you can get a dress anywhere

In the sample, it might have been tried on, but you're saving thousands. And I get that's not necessarily available for all sizes that, you know, plus size women might have a harder time with that or people that want to wear the dress.

Right. But there's dresses in all categories of expense. I mean, I've seen videos on TikTok recently of like, if you want a beautiful custom wedding dress, don't even bother looking at American designers. You should be looking abroad. There's places abroad in Turkey or other areas that you send your measurements, you pick out what dress you'd like, and it's custom made, shipped to you.

So there's other options out there. Because the reality is the dress never gets put on again. Yeah, it represents the day and everything and it looks great in the photos and the photos last forever. But when it comes down to like the material of the dress, if you have not nice materials and very expensive like silk, whatever, crazy materials, but they look the same.

The dress is going to hang in a closet the rest of your life unless it's like one of those passed down situations, whatever. But more often than not, I think it sits in a closet forever. I've seen a couple of people shorten and wear it again. That's fine. But I don't think it's... It doesn't justify to me that...

like one of those choice pieces you choose to spend a lot of money on because you know it's going to last a lifetime and you're going to use it for all these different things. It's not an investment piece. Like for me, I have a jacket I bought that I would never usually spend this much money on a jacket. It is outrageous. I fully get that. It's stupid, but it's great quality. I've worn it a lot. And it will last forever. It'll last forever. And it's applicable.

applicable to things. It's honestly, if I take good care of it, it could be an heirloom piece, which is what I'm getting. Like I have, I've taken so many clothes from my mom's closet and they're mine now. And they're still an amazing condition because they were such quality pieces. So it's kind of like that. Yeah. Well, don't get the dress. I mean, unless your child wants to wear it, but that's the thing. That's what I'm about to say. And don't get mad at me. Like if I'm, I, I've, I know nothing about this world.

But I feel like we're kind of in a time where the hand down the wedding dress isn't super common now.

I'm not sure. I think it depends. I've seen... Because I feel like styles change so quickly. Styles do change, but I've seen a lot of people modify the dresses to fit more modern. But either way, like... That's still a shot in the dark. You can't anticipate that. Exactly. Shot in the dark. And don't put yourself in a financially risky position... For one dress. For that potential of, oh, maybe my kid will want to wear this, right? You know, that's just where I'm at. Like, logical. I honestly think if, like...

budget is a really big consideration for planning your wedding. There are amazing dresses on Facebook marketplace. Like search the name of your dress, the size you need. I'm sure you can find it on Facebook marketplace, eBay. Like if there's, if they took good care of it, like you're good. Like I've seen so many people get a great deal on that.

The top comment on this one, not the asshole. The whole background of what happened to your dress at your wedding is irrelevant. You are not obligated to dress your adult sister. Yeah. And then you hit that with like people shouldn't determine their gift. Well, yeah. And I think with that, it was assumed it's not the asshole because what I really was saying is you can choose your own gift.

for this wedding. It's not to be said, you know, forced into that. That's your gift. That's your gift to me. Perfect. But I've done that like with people. I've done that with my mom where I've been like,

She's like, let me know what I can get you. And I'm like, well, I do need a new vacuum so you can buy the vacuum and that's my gift. But it's understood like you're solving a problem for them. Right. It's very clearly like. Which is what OP would be doing. But does she know if her sister had an idea?

Yes, her sister has the dress picked out. I'm not seeing it as, here's a convenient way for you to get me a gift. I'm seeing it as, I know I can't afford this, so why don't you just jump on and get it with me? That's true. And also, wedding gifts are typically for both people involved in the wedding. You understand the distinction, right? That's where I'm seeing it, is it's not just like,

Oh, well, just make that the gift, like make it easier for both of us. I'm really hitting the mic. But this is very much like, no, come do me this big favor. I don't know what you had planned, but also, yeah, just come over here and pay, you know, just jump on thousands. It could be a lot more than originally was going to get spent. One thing I do want to point out in the comments, and it's something I thought of in my head, too.

This person goes, here's a message, quote, I want to thank the half of the family that has effectively volunteered to help my sister pay for her dress. I will forward your names to her so she knows you will support her in this.

And someone goes, I'd be petty, but for every person who gave me crap about paying for half of the wedding dress, I would Venmo them asking $50 contribution to sister's wedding dress fund. I love that. Yes, please. Someone goes, why just 50? I'd ask for 100.

Yeah, I was thinking that. I was like, you guys have a lot of big mouths. And I was like, if you think she should pay, why aren't you guys chipping in? I love. That could be your gift. Chip in. Oh my God. I love how everyone jumps in on shit like that too.

And then if it were coming to them, they'd be like, oh, no, I can't. I can't. No, it's like we get so many stories where it's like, am I the asshole for not letting my brother's wife and 20 kids move in with us? And the mother-in-law is like, yeah, let him move in. Let him move in. Why isn't he living with you? Well, you have a house that's empty.

Why have him move in? Oh, no. I couldn't possibly. Oh, we don't have room here. It's just like, come on. Even though our house is way bigger than yours. Talk a big game. Put your money where your mouth is. Yeah. Are you feeling good? Are you feeling like our wedding might go off a little smoother than these people? I mean, yeah. I mean, I hope a rake-in shows up. Oh. And... I want a raccoon. What other weird animals do you think we could get at our wedding that, like, would...

Be attainable. Right. I don't want to like have animals like the kings and queens used to and then they're very mistreated. It was for the people and the animals suffered. I want animals that want to be there. So maybe any birds. Like if an eagle came by and just landed on the barn in the middle of the wedding, that would be sick. Like you're definitely, any eagles are welcome to attend. Do you think they're listening right now? Yeah.

I hope so. I mean, potentially, right? Like if someone's out camping or someone's on their boat or in their car and the windows are down and they're playing this really loud. I think you have to speak in eagle. I don't know about that. Ah!

No, but we just saw that video where AI will allow us to start communicating with the whales and the birds potentially. I think that's, I feel bad for them. So if that technology develops enough to where I can just send like an AI message out and put really big speakers out at the farm and it blasts out to all the birds, especially the bald eagles, you are welcome. I will get that message sent out to you, hopefully. You're going to make our wedding like an Alfred Hitchcock movie. Have you seen that one?

All the birds start attacking? I don't want all the birds. I want the eagles. Just the eagles. Yeah, I like the eagles. Okay. And then, you know, maybe some blue jays and things like that. Those are cool too. The pigeons aren't welcome. But the other animals, I guess. I think I would personally like a zebra.

Yeah, but that gets into the questionable territory of like, does a zebra, are they that out of place? Is this an environment where they're happy? The camel is the same vibe.

But the camel already lives in Minnesota and it's like already happy up there. That is true. And it's just taking a little field trip for the day, which I like. Okay. I think the animal I would welcome is a moose because I've always wanted to see a moose my whole life and I never have. They're huge. And I would die. That and a bear and a wolf. Okay. I got some fun questions for you. Okay.

Do you want to see my wedding dress before the wedding day? I'm sure. Yeah. I'll even help you pick it out. No, I don't want. That's not going to happen. Would you consider smashing my face in a cake? Fuck no. Fuck that story. That story pissed me off. That was stupid, that story.

That's like some weird control, like I own you type shit and I hate that. Would you pull a prank on me on our wedding day? Fuck no. Oh my God. We would be split up. I feel like if I pulled a prank on you not on our wedding day, we would break up. Do you want children at our wedding? That's a very complicated, loaded question. Yeah, I feel like we do know babies, but I'm reevaluating the kids definition. I seriously...

do not care how unhinged the wedding is. Like if there's a bunch of animals and kids, I don't care. You know what? That day can't be ruined for me. It just is. It's the wedding day's happening. It's our day. No matter what, fuck, even if it pours rain, even if like something, some crazy shit goes down, I don't care. It's like,

Well, that was our wedding day and we have a damn good story to tell you about it. I know. It doesn't need to be all prim and proper and oh my God, someone dropped their fork on the floor and everyone looked and how disrespectful to our wedding day. You drop your fork on the floor. I know. All of that is so pretentious and so stupid. But for some people, it's important to teach their own.

I've really evaluated though, like recently, what color dress for bridesmaids. And I think I'm going to get so rowdy and put them in white. We'll see. Whatever flies in the face of tradition. Let's go.

Yeah, it'll be really fun. No, no being engaged and enraged for us. I'm not enraged. No, we're not going to do that. We're going to have a nice, happy, calm wedding planning process. And that's going to be good. Unhinged. The unhinged wedding. Ours. Yeah, it's going to be carnival on steroids.

With a wedding on the side. We should have a ring toss. That's what I want. I want carnival. Do you think we could hire some of the guys that go to the state fair? I don't know. We can do some research. It'll be good. I get unlimited throws though. I don't want to pay any more. I don't want to pay tickets. It's my wedding day. Okay. Thank you guys for joining on another episode of Two Hot Takes. We have some amazing bonus content coming this month.

Lauren, Jess and I recorded a couple of stories last night. Jess and I recorded some really good ones the night before. We've got spooky. We've got engagement. We've got crazy chaos. There's some really good stuff. Sounds like a movie trailer. I know. We've got some good stuff, though, on Patreon for October. So head over there. Also, the coconut story. Shut up. Don't talk about the coconut story.

The Coconut Story is also over there for free with shits and gigs giving their take. So no need. Patreon has free content too if you don't want to pay and you just don't want to miss out and you want to be a part of the fun and see bloopers. Those are always free on Patreon. So head over there too and just join and be in the know and take advantage of the free shit. Everyone loves free shit. Yeah. But until next time, guys. Until next time. Bye. Bye.

Bye.