142: Deliberately Obtuse..(?)
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COVID-19 viruses like me change to fool your immune system and make you sick, but updated vaccines help protect you. Stay up to date on COVID-19 and flu vaccinations. Sponsored by Champions for Vaccine Education, Equity, and Progress. Something smells like a... A boy? Yeah. I don't know how to explain it, but... It could just be in my head, too. What do you mean? Like, the mic cover smells like a boy? Yeah. Oh my gosh.

It's a boy mic. Ah, my feet are showing. No free feet pics. I always give free feet pics. With socks. Actually, without socks, too. Okay, so approach Lauren if you would like feet pictures. She is willing to give them. I mean, I just have so many photos on Instagram where it's like, I'm not wearing shoes because I'm on the beach or something like that. Yeah. Well, those are kind of like tasteful ones. Oh, yeah. No, I'm not just like sending...

photos of my feet out on Instagram just every so often. I think it's so funny that people will have to be a subscription. Honestly, maybe you should do that. Honestly, like a good time. I would have no idea where to go, but only fans or Patreon. You can do Patreon. Maybe Patreon. Yeah. Only fans is kind of because isn't Patreon sounds a little better. I feel like once you

you know, go on to OnlyFans, like, you don't go back, you know, you just keep on going forward. I don't know. Well, speaking of purchasing things, our new merch is finally here. Yay! Woo! We have been working on this for so long and...

It's been such a labor of love trying to, like, get this right. I wanted it to be, like, a travel poster vibe with the surf and the little saying, let's dive in. And it's been such a labor of love. And it's just so cute and fun. It is fun. So we have a tan sweatshirt. There's also a tan T-shirt, black crew neck. There's little sticker packs. This one has a little hood. Yeah, Lauren's in the hoodie. Mm-hmm.

There's also going to be socks that literally say no free feet pics. There's hats. And there's going to be a blanket eventually. I'm working on making that right. I want it to be like really good because I don't like shitty blankets. I need like good blankets. Yeah. So the link for all the merch is going to be in the description. I cannot wait for you guys to check it out. If you are on Patreon, you also get a special discount code. So head over to Patreon if you want that.

But I'll be making a Patreon account soon for her feet. It's going to be great. Just kidding. But other than that, we are ready to jump into this theme today. I'm excited for this one. I'm really excited. These are some of the juicy, juicier stories I think I've read in a while.

Just kind of like out there chaotic. I wanted to call this like deliberately obtuse question mark because like some of them you're like, are they really being that obtuse? Like they're being that annoyingly insensitive. It's just such a funny word. I love the word obtuse. Okay. So you're so obtuse. So it's actually such a burn. But I was looking at the definition and it

Are you referring to it more as on the sensitivity side of the definition or the stupidity side of the definition? To be determined. Okay. I would love the listeners to chime in. And some of the stories are question mark too. It's like, wait, are they that stupid? Or like, are they gaslighting? Like, what's going on here?

So we'll see. Okay. Also, this tree keeps hitting me in the head. Wait, I want to look at see what the definition was. I looked at it like. Oh, I pulled it up. I have it on my first tab. So obtuse, annoyingly insensitive or slow to understand. Literally in the sentence, he wondered if the doctor was being deliberately obtuse. So that's the theme today. Perfect. Deliberately obtuse.

When you type it in. Is obtuse an insult? Yes. Yeah. Okay, cool. Well, I'm excited. Okay, let's dive in. Let's do it. Are you ready to start this episode off a little fiery? Yes. Okay, so this first one.

It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Not Letting My Husband Buy a House for His Ex and Kids? Hmm. His ex and kids hate me, and I'm not fond of them either. They all think I'm the reason they can't get back together, even though she's the one who cheated and I didn't meet him until he was in the middle of their divorce negotiations.

His kids are rude to me, and when I was pregnant with our first child, they told me I should hurry and get an abortion before it's too late. Anyways, during the divorce negotiations, my husband voluntarily gave up the paid-off house so that his kids wouldn't have to move schools. He agreed to pay child support beyond what the courts would have imposed, and his alimony amount is more than her salary.

In return, she agreed to not sell the house or move until the youngest is 18. Something happened and she sold the house and moved into an apartment. This past weekend, he came and asked me if I would object to him buying her another house because she's missing out on time with the kids. They refused to stay in her cramped apartment. I said no and that she needs to live with the consequences from her bad decisions. He begged, but I stood my ground.

I reminded him that we have a child together and another on the way. Any money he spends on his ex is taken away from their future. He argued that his kids need a home, and I countered that they each have their own rooms in our house. Even though I can't stand them, I can be an adult and tolerate them if it means he doesn't buy his ex a house.

He said it'll be in our names, but I countered that interest rates are high and the housing market in our area is crashing, so we'll lose money if we buy a house now, which in turn will affect our children's future. His ex reached out to his parents, and now they're on my case about making their grandkids homeless. It feels like everyone is making me out to be the wicked stepmother, and I'm the crazy one. I can't be the only one who thinks it's crazy for a husband to buy his ex-wife a house.

Wow. Well, I don't blame her for being pissed. I would not be happy with that proposal. He already gave her a house and she decided to sell it. What? It's like, okay, I hate this situation because the fact is, is that like these kids don't get along with their step parent and the step parent doesn't get along with the kids. So she's like, I can tolerate them and they can live in this house, right? However-

That doesn't sound like a happy home for them, you know, like being like living full time with somebody who tolerates them. So that's where I'm having a hard time with this because I absolutely would be pissed if I was her. And I also wouldn't like them either. I mean, they told her to get an abortion. Like, what the fuck? Everyone sucks in this one for me. Yeah. Everyone sucks. Yeah. But there are some people that are a little more obtuse than others. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I just like, I don't, how do you move forward with this one? So the kids, they don't even have room in their mom's apartment or they're just cramped? I think they're just cramped. I mean, there's not. He just wants them to like grow up full time in a house kind of thing. Yeah, there are, there is like a kind of like a little update. Good morning. I saw several common questions, so I'll answer them here. One, no one is sure why she had to sell the house. My husband and her argued for weeks after it was already done. I

I've heard several reasons, but I didn't include them because I don't know which is the accurate one. All we know for sure is that she doesn't have much left after the sale. Again, crazy. Okay. Did she, like, does she... Yeah, like, does she have a... Did she gamble it all away? Like, what's going on? Two, the house was fully paid off with no liens. That's what I was going to ask. He transferred full ownership to her, so she was solely responsible for the taxes and maintenance.

Yeah, there's just no chance. His kids have been living with us for a month and we've settled into a silent routine. I don't try to mother them and they ignore me. We provide them with the same food we eat and whatever else they need. My husband parents them. The low end price of a house in our area and within their schools is about $300,000 right now. I can deal with the situation until they're all 18 and out of the house if it means we're not spending at least $300,000.

There's no mention of how old these kids are, though. Like, is 18 10 years or is that two? Like, yeah. Well, it sounds like the mom, given this information, doesn't sound very responsible. So it actually might be better that the dad is parenting them more often. I mean, as much as I like the idea that the dad is so wanting his children to just be in a happy and peaceful

comforting home. That's the part that I do like, but it is absolutely insane to buy this person another home when they just, when they had that home, you said it was all paid off and then she sells it. And that's against the agreement. She's already, you know, that he doesn't owe her anything else. And it sucks because it's like, she's attached to the children and he wants to provide for the children, but it's like, then they should just live with you.

Most of the time. And there is another point that they do live with them full time right now. And so he's not paying child support since they are. And she's not arguing about that. A.K.A. the mom. He can't sue her for the house or money she doesn't have. So let's just say the house was 300K. It was paid off. Where did 300K go? And is she just hiding that money? But like, I think it's it's really frustrating when like she had

like this golden goose, right? She had a house that was paid off, just responsible for taxes and maintenance, which can add up. However, if she's not spending any money on a mortgage or things like that, that should be pretty doable if she budgets. So, or even if it was too big of a house for her to maintain, sell the house, but buy a lesser one with the money. Yeah. I think bottom line is that he should not buy her a house and OP has a right to be angry. Right.

And I just I hope that the kids are happy and feel comfortable in the home that they're in. And I think that's pretty much all you can do. Yeah. I would be really mad if this were me. I I think like not the asshole. And I'm also kind of like, well, what happens if you two get divorced? Is it going to buy you a house? Yeah. For you and his kids? Yeah. Because then you'd be an ex, too. So maybe that's the solution here. I just don't get it. I'm just this is crazy.

Yeah, I would not be happy with my husband at all. And it's so true, too, because even when I'm dating somebody, like, in my head, I start thinking, I kind of future trip, and I'm just like, wait, they're just blowing money on XYZ. I'm like, what if one day when we're married and we have kids, would they blow their money like this, too? Like, future trip like that in my head, just, like, randomly, even when I'm dating somebody. So I think that if, yeah, to be in...

a marriage and then have that it's just like well we have we have a kid on the way like that needs to be your focus right now and they already have one yeah i'll have two kids with him too right like instead of i mean the kids right now that we have like they have a happy home to come to i hope i mean i hope op is not mean to them it sounds like she's not but like um

It sounds like she just like recognizes there's not a mutual liking and they're just kind of like, you do your thing, I'll do mine. Right. But yeah, that does suck. Like kids still pick up on that too. Yeah. But top comment, not the asshole. So the ex had a fully paid off house, a job in alimony, which was more than her salary, but she still sold her house and now wants another one. Fully paid up too, I assume.

What happened to the money she got from selling the house? Why is it your fault when she's the one who sold the house? Also, your stepkids are not homeless. They have two houses. They just don't like either one of them. Yeah. Next comment. What really worries me is that the husband is so focused on a house for his kids that he's lost sight that his ex may not be a suitable person to raise these kids. And that's, I think... That's what I was thinking when I was talking it through. Yeah. Just like, I mean...

She doesn't sound very responsible. X's actions are definitely suspicious. I can't even imagine giving up a fully paid house in the current economic situation. And according to OP, not much money left over. Yeah, the fuck? Next comment. Makes me really wonder what she was spending it on. Literally the next comment. The money went somewhere. Also, like, how are these other people made of so much money? He's buying houses like it's a cup of coffee.

You get a house and you get a house and you get a house. Or is he? You know, maybe that's part of it. If this if this guy is like a multi, multi, multimillionaire, whatever. And so he's like, come on, it's not that much skin off of my back. Like, that's the same, right? I actually didn't like that. Yeah. Phrase.

Or is it ass? Skin off my ass. I don't know, but I don't like either of those. No. That's not a good image. But... I have to find something different. But, yeah, if he were to be doing... Sorry, I lost my train of thought. Like, if he was a big millionaire. Yeah, if he was a big millionaire and it meant nothing to him, then I could see where he would be like, come on, it doesn't mean a lot to me, and I know that it'll mean a lot to my kids, but...

The fact that she's like, no, you have to think about the future of our children that are toddlers slash not even born yet instead of giving more to your ex, which, again, it would be nice that it's still in their name. But like she said, because of whatever state they were in the economy, like she's like, we would lose money on it. So just dumb decisions. Just dumb.

Craziness. Yeah, I think everyone sucks here in general, but like, no, you're not the asshole for like not letting your husband buy his ex a house. I would not be happy with that at all. There's no other comments from OP, just like kind of that little update we read. So moving along. Moving along. Okay, you ready? Yeah.

Okay. People might have seen this. You might have even seen this, but it was something that my boyfriend sent to me and I just felt like it was really fitting for the theme.

Um, but this is from Reddit, but it is on the fantasy football advice Reddit, which is not our usual. Yes. Interesting. But the title is guy in my league is offering Pollard for CMC and I get to bang his wife one time. Oh my God. I mean, Christian McCaffrey, that's who I assume it's about, is a pretty good one to pick up, but

Does the wife agree to this? I guess so. Oh, God. Okay, read. Let's get in. It's a pretty short one. That's what I was telling you. But I was like, I just need to share this because it was too funny that Brian just sent this to me and then this theme. So Guy, my league is 3-5 and desperate to turn his team around and needs more consistency with RB. He sent me a text saying he wants CMC, but there's not really anyone on his team I want. I am currently 7-1, so I don't need to make any changes.

He said I could bang his wife one time if I accept the trade and it goes through. No. Honestly, it's pretty tempting since she has huge tits and I've always fantasized about her.

Oh, my God, dude. Is it worth throwing my chances to win the ship out the window for a chance to bang his wife? Question mark? Yeah. Because he's three and five. He's messed anyways. He's not going to win the league. There's no chance. There's no comeback. So you're saying it's worth it? He should have sex with his wife? I'm saying, like, there's no chance the dude's going to come back anyways. But, like, he might need...

I'm assuming it's Christian McCaffrey. I think so. That's what I think CMC is. I'm big into fantasy. My team sucks this year. I think I'm three and five or I'm like four and five. I don't even know what I am. But like, dude, this can't be like...

Why are guys so weird? People are just... And the comments, too. I was like, oh, maybe it'll be, you know... No. It's... Because it's boys. These are boys. Yeah, I know. Top comment. Bang first, then back out of the deal. Just terrible. And then...

bang wife then get leaked veto they're all just I want the wife to find it so bad I wonder if she agreed to it like I wonder if it was an open relationship because I don't understand how he could make he can't make that bet on like on her behalf unless she's yeah like if he tries he might do it in reverse you know and be like oh my god he really wants to sleep with you I think it'd be really fun like you've you've always wanted to

play around, right? You know, like if it's something like that. Or if they do have a very flexible relationship and it's like, hey, babe, I really need help with my fantasy. And you've kind of always thought John is hot. Like, would you be OK having sex with John? So I get Christian McCaffrey. I can't imagine being in a relationship like that. But if it works for people, then I think he's marrying one of the Culpo sisters.

Yeah. Didn't you see her like her engagement party or her bachelorette party? He like sent her fireworks. They were all like dressed up and like someone from the hotel walked up and was like, here, hit the button. And she hits the button and fireworks goes off. I saw the proposal. But other than that, I don't really keep up too much.

I just, it's my TikTok algorithm. I get a lot of like bachelorette bridal stuff. I think I actually follow her on Instagram, which is why I saw the post. Okay. And you have another one? Yes. Yeah. Sorry. None of these comments. I was trying to look for one comment that like had some type of legitimacy. Rationale. Yeah. No, they're just all fucking stupid. Sorry. They're all just obtuse. You can say fucking stupid. I'm trying to not as much because I realized that I...

use swear words so much to like as exasperation you know and so I don't even use them that much to be angry in a fight you know whatever it's usually just to be like are you fucking me and I'm like I need to just think of different words because it's just are you pulling my leg yeah are you my leg Morgan I'm gonna start doing that

Okay, next one. Let's see. Hey, small businesses. Sentara Health Plans has a team dedicated to answering your questions, leaving time for other business thoughts like... How did an action figure get stuck in the air vents? Or... What is the ideal human-to-goat ratio for my yoga class?

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Okay. So if you came across it, there's that chance. Okay. Let's see what you think. Am I the asshole for choosing my boyfriend over my family's tradition? I, 29 female, and my boyfriend, 41 male, have been together for almost three months. My family doesn't like him due to his history with my sister, 35.

But that was years ago, and we both have moved on. Their hatred for him skyrocketed when he tried to get full custody of his child. We have a trip that we do every year when we go to New York City. I was invited but was under instruction not to bring my boyfriend. I thought this was unfair since both his girlfriend and his child would be there. They said it's to avoid drama, but he went the last two Christmases despite already being divorced to my sister."

What's happening here? I know. Okay, does that child he have, is that shared with the sister too? God. I think so, yes. My sister is already engaged to a great man, 40, so she's clearly over it. I told them if he's not allowed to come, I won't. And they said that they'll give my ticket to my sister's future stepdaughter, 19 female.

Cool. Yeah. Great solution. I blocked them on everything. I love my family, but I don't think I should put them over my boyfriend. That you've been dating for three months? Yeah.

That's your sister's ex-husband is what I think is what she's saying. This girl's so stupid. She also, well, she said, edit, I try to fix my grammar. I don't speak English while I'm from Spain. So maybe, I think maybe like the girlfriend part like was like, I'm his girlfriend. I'll be there. I'm not, I don't know. But like it just kept on twisting and turning to, it's like, okay, wait, so.

He had history with my sister. They were married. They were married. They have a kid together. They have a kid together. He was at the last two Christmases because he was probably there for his kid. Sweetie. Yeah, and she's been dating him for three months. And now she's saying, I shouldn't put my family before my boyfriend just for this tradition. Oh.

Complete loss for words. She is deliberately obtuse. Holy smokes. Three months. I know some people like when you know, you know, and I know there's some people that literally are like, oh, I met my partner and like 11 days later we got married.

But then I'm like, I literally didn't even know if I liked Justin after three months. So for me, I just find this so crazy that you're willing to throw your entire relationship with your family away over a guy that was married to your sister. Are there no other people out there? You had to go to that one. I know. What is it? Well, I think the part for me that really gets me too is that

I know sometimes love happens in really odd ways that are unexpected and non-traditional. How are you not aware that your family wouldn't want him to be there? It's weird that you're dating him now. It's your sister. What do you mean? Why are you confused? Like, my family was so mean. I blocked them on everything. Like,

You just dropped a bomb that you're now dating your sister's ex-husband baby daddy and you want him to come to the holidays and just pretend like everything's normal. Like, how are you? How are you confused? That's my concern. There's definitely some screws loose here. It's very interesting. And I think the comment, too, that kind of threw me off. It's like, oh, she's engaged to a really great guy. So, like, clearly she's over it just because she's moving on and like,

starting a new relationship and like a new chapter of her life doesn't mean that's a green light to go sleep with her ex-husband and father of her child. Yeah, that's weird. Well, it's not adding up to you. Yeah. Oh my God. The top comment too is funny. You're the asshole. You've been with a guy for three months and then comment right underneath there. To be fair, she's known him years. As he used to be her brother-in-law.

Oof. I know. Any comments from OP? I know this is old and the account could have been deleted, but I'm so curious. I'm not seeing it. Oh, but yeah, the fact that he's trying to get full custody too. Did you hear that part? No. Their hatred for him skyrocketed when he tried to get full custody of his child. Yeah, no shit.

Like, why are they going to be, oh my God, yay, you're trying to take our granddaughter away from her mom. Yay. Oh my God, we love you.

And now I'm going to date your sister. These two deserve each other. They are so delusionally stupid. Odd, weird, yes. They're so, so obtuse. Do you want to see? I couldn't see if the OP responded. A lot of comments. Oh, my God. It's just never ending. It's a big post. Like, the top comment had, like, what? Like, 26,000 upvotes? Yeah. Well, and there's, like, an original post that...

is titled I'm Dating My Sister's Ex and that was on relationship advice and flew like super under the radar there's only 314 upvotes on it okay

I, 29 female, and my half-sister, Alicia, have never gotten along. She's pretty jealous of me because her mom and our dad divorced, and my parents are happily married. She began dating Kyle, male 41, during her sophomore year of college. Kyle is a great guy, and I don't think she appreciates him after she gave birth to their child. She got really bitchy and needy to the point where Kyle hated coming home.

He began having an affair with his assistant, female 22, after she found out they divorced. That was two years ago. I've maintained a relationship with Kyle because I'm helping him with his custody battle. I'm in law school. Oh, no. And one night, we both got really drunk and slept together. At first, we thought it was a drunken mistake, but we soon realized we had feelings for each other. We began dating, and after a month, we told Alicia, and she walked out of the room without a word.

But she's clearly fine because she's with another guy. So like she's clearly fine. That's just so annoying that she said that. Like you don't know. The next day I got a text from Alicia's mom that I'm an awful person and should be ashamed. I replied that Kyle is single and Alicia has already moved on and is happy in another relationship. My dad said I'm wrong and I've been uninvited to Thanksgiving. I don't understand the big deal. They both have moved on and she treated him terribly.

He also cheated on her with an assistant because he hated coming home, probably because his wife needed help with their new baby and he didn't want to step up. Honestly. So wait, so this was the same person telling it in a different, more elaborate way in a different form? This was the first post and then came the post you read. She essentially, like there's comment after comment.

Was your boyfriend who told you these things? OP. I was there for all of these things. When it's your sister's ex-husband, it's bad no matter the age. You don't act like an almost 30-year-old, so the age gap seems even bigger. The age difference alone is creepy. OP. Stop infantilizing grown women. OP said that? Yeah, because their age gap is 12 years. There's another post after. It's titled Logging Off.

Okay.

She's physically assaulted me multiple times. When her child was born, she became an even worse person. I didn't mention my sister's abuse because I wasn't looking for validation for my relationship. I just wanted to know about the trip. Now I'm getting death threats because of this. You guys are all awful people who use any story to harass everyone. Holy shit. But like, why do you, don't go on the trip then. Yeah, that's, that's why like it doesn't even. Why is it coming out now? It's so convenient. Like,

Oh, man. This was a good obtuse one, though, right? This person is really goofy. This person is pulling my leg. I really don't have a lot of words. I'm just kind of confused how she's... Okay, moving along. You don't like my comedic callback? Yeah, you're pulling your leg. It was good. It was good. At Leidos, a brilliant mind is smart, but a brilliant team is smarter.

A ship that finds enemy subs is smart, but an autonomous fleet, that's smarter. Defending against cyber attacks, smart. Stopping attacks before they start, smarter. And using AI tools is smart, but integrating trusted mission AI into your technology is smarter. We're not just making technology solutions and national security and health. We're making smart, smarter. Leidos.

Okay, this next one is getting patched in. We read this as our first story and it does get a little heavy in the update. So we figured we had to move it. So here's the next one. I kind of like it as the start, though. I think we're going to go easy on the people. Hmm.

Okay, so up first, we have one coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit. Nice. 11 days old from SpiritedWillow3110. My pregnant sister's husband wants me to cheat. I'm not sure exactly where to post, but my friend recommended this sub as she listens to the podcast. Throwaway and fake names. My sister's husband won't leave me alone. My sister refuses to see reason because she's pregnant.

Me, 29 female, and my husband, 30 male, recently got married in early October at a beautiful ceremony. My sister, Stacey, 22 female, walked me down the aisle as my father sadly passed of cancer and couldn't. Stacey was unhappy in her marriage to Jack, 32 male, who tried to convince me to let her remarry him during my ceremony. I had posted on AITA on this account if you want more details from that.

Stacy came to me a few weeks after my wedding and said she was going to divorce Jack.

I fully supported her and offered her a room in my house. Fast forward to her 22nd birthday. In me and my husband's backyard, during a barbecue, she announced she was pregnant. Me and my husband were dumbstruck, and after the congratulations and hugs, I pulled her inside to my bedroom. I asked if she was still on her birth control, and she said she was. Then I asked if she was going to keep the baby, and she said yes.

I asked about her divorce, and she said it was a sign to tough things out. Fast forward to last weekend when Jack texted me. I unblocked him to help with the pregnancy. He sent me nudes, asking me to meet up at a hotel sometime. I immediately showed my husband and asked my sister if she could meet up with us tomorrow.

My husband was enraged and threatened Jack, to me at least, but I calmed him down. I took pictures of what Jack sent and blocked him for the hundredth time, it feels like. When my sister came over, we showed her the pictures and she was silent before she burst into tears, yelling that I was a homewrecker and jealous of her child. Oh my God. I tried to calm her down and so did my husband, but she stormed out.

Since then, Jack has been sending nudes daily, using fake numbers, emails, even Stacey's phone as he knows I won't block her. Wow. I'm at a loss. My sister refuses to speak to me, her husband Jack is harassing me, and my husband is on the verge of becoming a criminal if Jack doesn't stop. Okay, that last one's a joke. My husband is a saint. What do I do? What? Wow. Yeah, that is...

What, like, what is going on here? It just, it also breaks my heart because this sister, I don't know how lost you are to not see what's right in front of you. And it's just like, it's such a different type of delusion. The deliberately obtuse. Yeah. Like...

I'm also, all of this too, I'm like, I wonder if he found out, the jack guy, the one going off the fucking rails, I wonder if he found out she was going to divorce him and I wonder if he started tampering with her birth control. Yeah, that's why when you said that, I was like, that's interesting that she's still on her birth control yet. It happens, but like... The timing is... It's suspect. Yeah, because the fact that they were already wanting to leave each other and...

Or she was, at least. Yeah. And then took that as a sign to stay together. That is definitely some question mark. I mean, this guy is not okay. That's not even a question. Like, this man needs help. Serious help. Yeah.

I don't know what OP should do. Like, I don't know how she handles that with her sister because if her sister's not willing to calm down and listen and see it for what it is, then I don't really know where she goes from there. Low contact. Yeah. I'd be pressing charges, though. Yeah. I feel like you could press charges for harassment easily. Oh, absolutely. With, like, all of these unsolicited dick pics, like, no one needs to see that first thing in the morning or last thing in the day. Like,

You just have to wonder what is... What's wrong with that guy, too. Like, what is going on with him that is making him think it's okay to do that? It's like when... Is it that he's getting off by the fact that he's harassing her? Like, why is he doing that? It's so concerning. I just... This is...

The story has me speechless. He's got quite a few screws loose. The top comment on this one is, I'm fairly certain in most Western countries you can get him arrested for constantly spamming your phone with nudes. That has to breach into sexual harassment at some point. You should go that route. Not sure you can do much about your psycho sister. Which, okay, a little aggressive. I think, like, she's clearly going through a tough time.

I can imagine like you're trying to make this marriage work after like finding out you're pregnant. And then he starts doing this. And if I were in this and pregnant, I would feel so trapped. Like you've got to feel trapped. And it's like she definitely has options. I think her sister would still let her move in. But I can imagine like all these feelings of like you're trapped. You want to stay together for the baby. You don't want to be a single mom.

Yada, yada, yada.

Like, I think that both can be true. You know, logically, you know that you deserve more, but emotionally, you just, like, you don't feel like you do to the point that you're ready to let go. But this is, like, even more difficult because now it's, like, not only emotionally is she...

feels like this is what she deserves. This is the partner she deserves to be with. But also, like, she's convincing herself logically that this is, that the world is what it's not. You know, that her sister is a homewrecker, that, you know, everything's gonna work out, that this was fate, that she's having a baby with this guy and now they're not gonna get divorced. So...

It's like I don't even know where to start with advice on this sister. But for OP, it's like she doesn't really have a choice besides to go low contact. And like if she's... If her sister needs something, be there for her. And I know that she loves her. She said she'll never block her sister. That's why she's getting messages from the guy from her sister. But yeah, I would say like low contact until you can...

Until she kind of... And that's so hard to say, too, because it's her sister, and I know she probably wants to help her, but I don't really know what she does. You don't have another choice. I just went to OP's profile to try to find comments from her, and I found an update. Ooh, okay. There is a little bit of a warning here, though, like a trigger warning for the update for violence and sexual assault. So if that...

applies or you feel that you can't handle any updates that contain that please skip ahead

Today has been an absolute whirlwind, but thank God I'm safe. So is my husband and our dogs. So I met with my husband's friend who works for our local police department and spoke about how to go about the situation. He said he can help us get a restraining order and start a paper trail. In the middle of our meeting, I got a text from Stacy who said she desperately needed me to help her along with a location. She wouldn't reply. So me and my husband, along with his friend, drove to the place.

It was the most sketchy, run-down, creepy building in the middle of nowhere. But I took my pepper spray and went to find Stacey. My husband and his friend waited outside in case there was something wrong. Of course, it wasn't Stacey who was waiting for me. Jack was there, without my sister. He grabbed me and tried to take off my clothes. Yeah. And he said he was going to rape me like he did my sister years ago. What the f...

And the two men were still there, too? They're outside. Oh, my God. But with me screaming and trying to spray him with pepper spray, he let go. My husband and his friend ran in, and both of them punched Jack and yelled at him to leave. We quickly left, and I went to the police station to write a statement and then went home to pack up some bags. Our police friend went to Stacy and Jack's house, but they couldn't find her or her car. They're starting an investigation.

However, we did check our house cameras a bit ago and Jack was trying to break into our home. We called the police, but he wasn't there when they arrived. We're currently in a hotel in a different nearby city, but still terrified from the situation. There are people looking for Jack and Stacey, but we don't have any idea where they are. Our mother also has no idea and Jack's parents aren't in his life, so we doubt we're there with them. I'm just terrified for Stacey. She never told me about any of that, nor do I know if it's true.

I'm unsure if this will be my last update, but I will try to all let you know when we find Stacey or if anything else changes drastically.

My husband also wanted to speak a bit, so the rest is on him. Thank you all for the kindness and support and advice. Basically, the husband goes on to just be like, thank you for the support. My wife has several issues with her sister, one of which she feels the need to be her caretaker. Her mother was emotionally neglectful, favored Stacey, and told my wife to take the high road and keep family first.

If it wasn't for all of you, I don't think she would have had the courage to seek help and find a way forward. Hopefully Stacey is okay and Jack gets arrested. Oh my God. Yeah. And we do have people like reporting this one like, oh, they think, you know, it could potentially be fake. But I will say like there was a Reddit story a long time ago and I think we read the first part of the story, but we never read the updates. Yeah.

And it was a story about a guy who found out his wife was cheating and Reddit, you know, encouraged him to leave. He deserved better. The wife ended up going crazy and murdered all of their kids.

Oh, my God. And this is you can verify it. There's news articles on this now. And this was a Reddit post that everyone at this time thought, oh, it's creative writing. Oh, my God. Like real shit, crazy shit like this does happen. So, I mean, it's it's wild. And like some listener sent me a stat the other day that like and I can just fact check it right now.

They sent me a stat, though, that homicide is a leading cause of death in pregnant women in the U.S. Women in the U.S. are more likely to be murdered during pregnancy or soon after childbirth than to die from the three leading obstetric causes of maternal death. Wow. So... That's so horrible. Just bonkers. Absolutely bonkers. And, you know, looking at OP's account, too...

I mean, the original post about the wedding, that happened five months ago. Like, there's an account with history. You know what I mean? It's not like they created a fake account and then posted these crazy stories for clicks or karma. Right. So...

I don't know what's going on, but... That's terrifying. And you said that one was only from 11 days ago, right? Yeah. And so the update is 10 days ago. The update was, you know, the day after. And I'm not seeing any updates about Stacey. That's so scary. Yeah. That does not sound like she's in a good spot. Missing and then the guy goes and tries to rape her sister and has her phone. Yeah. Yeah.

And then the sisters is gone. I don't want to say what it sounds like, but that just it's it's crazy. I literally just saw a TikTok today, too. And it was like it was all these people like women that had been murdered from their partners. And it was all like imagine if we lived in a world where like these people just broke up instead. And it was like victim after victim after victim. It's just like, oh, my God.

Like, why can't people just get divorced or break up? Yeah. Why? Like, fucking weirdos. It's crazy. I was actually listening to Attached, the audio of the book.

You heard of attached? Oh, yeah. The book on attachment theories. And then they quoted. I can't remember exactly how the quote went. I was actually listening to on my way over here. But they quoted somebody who was talking about how humans will be only as happy or lack of happiness on attachment.

the relationship they decide to put themselves in and what they decide to attach their love to. So like if you're in a really horrible relationship, like you're not going to be a happy person. And it's like it kind of stood out to me because people are always just like, oh, your happiness lies within like you got to, you know, it's you like individually first. And this is true. It's true. But once you attach like your deep love for someone and

then your happiness is also attached to that person. And so when that person treats you really poorly and if somebody is in a very abusive relationship, then it's like it can completely alter the character of that person. Yeah. Yeah. I and we we do know how hard abusive relationships can be to leave.

I know we've talked about this before, but like it on average takes a person seven attempts. Yeah. So now knowing what we know about the sister, like I didn't know this update existed before we went into this story. Well, and that's what it sounded like, too. That's why I was saying it's so tough because it's her sister. She doesn't. I know she wants to be there for her. But if her sister is going to call her a homewrecker when she gives her plain as day evidence that she is with somebody who is not good for her.

And she's still choosing. Yeah, choosing to act that way. Then it's like, well, there's not that much you can do. Everyone's grown adults. You can't just like force her into, you know, anything. You like have to let her come to you, which is why it's hard to like go low contact when she spent most of her life. It sounds like caring for the sister. So that's so, so scary. And how long was that update? 10 days. So no further comments. I'm hoping we...

I'm hoping we find one. And it's like, it's hard because you can't search like, Stacey missing pregnant woman because like, obviously that's... It just, it went from so, I thought it was just going to be so weird and shitty, like kind of like, what an asshole, to just so dark. It got so fucking dark. Yeah. Yeah, sorry guys. I didn't know, God, I am, I'm going to rearrange this and like, if for some reason the episode feels like,

a little goofy. Like this is going to be moved to number two at least. Okay. So I can't start us all off like this. So we got to keep looking for updates on this one and I'll try to reach out and message our OP here real quick and see if we get anything. Okay. Message has been sent. Moving along. Moving along. Okay. This next one.

This is coming from the subreddit called Dusty Thunder. It's 16 days old and titled, Emma the Asshole for Putting Shit on My Fiance's Copycat Baby Mama During Her Wedding.

I, female 32, got with my fiancé, male 40, about two years ago. My future husband has three kids with his ex. For context, fiancé and I have been engaged for a year, and I've been having fun looking at all kinds of wedding and wedding ideas, from themed weddings to small and intimate weddings.

I even looked at destination weddings and weddings outdoors. Now, bio mom, female 37, is jealous and evil. Like, super villain level evil. Why do I say this? Because she cheated on my fiance not once, but twice, and gave him STDs for her efforts.

Somehow, I magically cast a spell on her and made her sleep around before I even met her. Because she says I'm the reason there are problems to my three stepkids. Male 7, female 12, female 16. But luckily, the oldest of my stepkids knows her bullshit and tells the other kids to ignore her. Oh, that's good. Now...

Baby mama found her fabulous husband on Bumble. And while I normally try to stay away from baby mama and her bullshit completely, I took issue with her telling the kids that this joker is their real daddy and to call him as such, which the kids told me and future husband made them uncomfortable. And she then commanded them to start calling my fiance by his first name. Nope, not on my watch.

I confronted her about it when she came that evening to get the kids and told her it was inappropriate to demand these things of the kids. How would you feel if fiance did this? Bear in mind, this woman is high conflict on steroids, so I was ready for a fight. Instead, she smiled sweetly at me, although it didn't meet her eyes, and told me I was absolutely right, and then thanked me for helping her to see the error of her ways.

She shifted some as I stared at her like she had 12 heads when I noticed behind her that the car I had recently told my fiancé and my stepkids that I wanted was parked behind her with the hazards on. It was even in my favorite color, green. Baby mama hates the color green, having stated at one point or another that it makes her think of rotting food or the Wicked Witch of the West.

I stared at the car and she noticed, and that's when the most sadistic grin came across her face. I kept my cool and tossed my head up at the aforementioned vehicle, asking, new ride? Her smirk never left her face as she told me that her fiance got it for her as a wedding gift, as he insisted his new family ride in style.

Mind you that the car is a Land Rover, and that is well above the financial capabilities of this woman and her fiancé combined. That's not a shot. That's a genuine observation. My fiancé and I helped out Biomom last year with taxes, so we know exactly how much she makes. About two months ago, there was a period of calm with Biomom where we weren't friends or even really friendly, but cordial.

She started telling me about all the wedding plans she had coming up and wanted an extra opinion. I was a little taken aback, especially when I know she knows the kids, my fiance and myself, though I haven't publicized my opinion, not my monkey and not my circus, but

I'll think them getting married after going on three dates over three weeks, suddenly moving in and now getting married after a max of barely three months of knowing one another and being involved with each other is a terrible and possibly dangerous idea.

Baby mama doesn't know this guy. What if he's a serial killer or hurts kids? The safety of the kids is the responsibility of every adult that is in their lives. And this seems psychotically irresponsible to me. But again, I step back and keep my thoughts to myself, allowing fiance and my stepkids to voice their feelings. That being said, instead of asking if she lost her mind, I nodded politely and said, sure thing.

She asked what I thought of dark blue for bridesmaids' dresses, and I shrugged, asking in response if that's what she wanted.

She said she wasn't sure and was curious what colors I was planning on having. Quote, so we don't have the same thing. Oh my God. I do know my colors, wine, emerald, green, and gold, but I wasn't about to make the mistake of telling her this. I saw the trap laid before me as soon as the lies were out of her mouth. And without missing a beat, I said, brown. Just so everyone is aware, I detest the color brown. She stared. Brown?

I nodded, brown. I feel like I want a very earthy and nature-based wedding, like complete with a soil bonding ceremony. For the record, soil bonding is not a thing. I totally made it up. And I told her, that's where you stick your hands in a freshly dug up and fertilized pile of soil, touch your hands to your significant other's cheeks, and vow to return to the earth with them.

Oh, bio mom looked at me and made a face saying, oh, interesting. Fast forward to two weeks ago and her wedding came. I hadn't forgotten about what I'd said, but I didn't really think about it. And it didn't really matter what baby mama chose in the end as fiance and I weren't invited to the wedding, nor did we want to go.

Jumped to last weekend, and my oldest stepdaughter called me and asked me to come get her and her siblings from urgent care. I was flying out the door when I asked what happened, and she explained that her mom and stepdad had gotten ringworm and brought home a couple of other things from the soil-slash-manure combo they used at their wedding, and didn't know about it until they became very symptomatic. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

I told my fiance about what happened and he laughed hysterically until he cried. He called his brother to tell him what happened. His brother and my fiance's ex hate each other. But to my shock, my

My future brother-in-law said this was absolutely not funny and people could have been seriously hurt or worse as a result of my shenanigans and petty behavior. Oh, please. My fiance stood up for me saying that high conflict baby mama decided for herself to do this and who in their right mind would smear fresh manure on their faces.

Oh, my God. I cannot believe that the brother said that that was crossing the line. Brother-in-law called me a schmuck, saying I was the asshole in the situation and even went so far as to say this could be classified as attempted murder. What? Is this guy okay? My fiance said not to worry about it, but now I'm actually wondering if I did something wrong. No. Am I the asshole? What the fuck? What?

attempted murder he's what that is i cannot believe he's saying that okay it doesn't matter if it was dangerous like if somebody said yeah for my wedding i'm gonna cut my fucking finger off sorry i'm gonna cut my finger off for my wedding um and then somebody else did that they have no responsibility for that like what do you mean like just because someone said that

They're not telling that person to do it. She's not. She never said you should do this. So she didn't do anything wrong. She was just literally like if. OK, I get really confused in terms of the law and stuff like this, because I think there's like like I don't know, like cult leaders that like get their cults to do things on their behalf and can still be held responsible.

So I get really confused by this, but I have seen like she didn't tell her to do anything. No, she just said, this is what I'm doing. Yeah. The lady copied her and she could have. I mean, what year is this? She could have looked it up online. Is this a real thing? How do I do it?

It's not like she was like, oh, you know what you do? You take the most dangerous stuff and you put it all over your face and then you'll be cleansed and you should do that. Please do it. You know what I mean? Like she was just like, oh, I'm just going to rub dirt on my face because, you know, like that is so harmless and it's so funny and so...

No, it's... I find this whole thing hilarious. Like, this lady is so, so dumb to think this was a real thing. But I have seen at a wedding, and I really loved this, like, you know how there's, like, the candle lighting ceremony where people light one candle? Or there's, like, sand. They'll combine two different sands. I've seen people, like, take dirt from their own homes. So, like, I would take dirt from my farm. Justin would take his from his house, and you combine them.

So maybe in her eyes it wasn't that far-fetched. Yeah, and it's really not that crazy of a concept either. Like, if... I wouldn't be like, there's no way that's true. So I get... But also, you can make a choice not to smear shit on your face. Yeah, I don't think it's that far-fetched, but it's completely on... The lady. Yeah, the baby mama to...

do her research and do what she actually wants to do for her wedding. It at this point seems like she's doing thing, doing everything out of spite for this woman. Like she meets a guy after three dates, she's getting engaged. And then she's asking her, well, what are you doing for your wedding? And she's like, oh, your favorite car. I'm going to get your favorite car. So it almost feels, and the, especially since she told her kids all these awful things about her, like

You know, all the contacts given, it feels like this woman is going out of her way to track OP down and copy her just to get under her skin, just to piss her off. So OP just did something very light and.

You know, OK, you're asking. I know I know this game. You've done this before. You're asking just so you can like spite me so you can get it first. You're getting married first. Take it from me, whatever. I'll just tell you something that I'm not actually going to do. And then I love it. Yeah, I love it. I love it. Not as a brother for like saying all those things to her. Yeah, that is weird. Like, oh, you're a schmuck. You could be charged with attempted murder.

Ringworm? Ringworm? No. Come on. Top comment, not the asshole. The soil binding thing. Did she tell her to eat it? A bit over the top. No. But she's the asshole who just had to copy your idea. All she had to do to avoid giving everyone ringworm was not copy your idea. And next comment down picks up on what you said, Lauren, or look it up and find out it's not a thing.

Like, if I really hated someone who brought this up to me, I'd just be big, like, eyes motion their stupidity and have a normal thing like sand or a candle or, like, nerf gun each other. Well, you would think, too, that even if she believed that it was a real thing, she would look it up to make sure she knew how to do it correctly for the wedding. But then again, there probably is something like that online somewhere. Probably is a real thing. So goofy. Okay, moving along. Okay.

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Highland, intelligent content solutions for innovators everywhere at highland.com. Okay, so this next one is two months old. It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Asking My Wife to Think About the Long-Term Implications of Her Birth Plan? Throw away because my friends know my mane. I know dudes get ripped on in here for posting their opinions about birth, but I think this is an important opportunity for my wife, and I'm posting because I believe the situation is nuanced and she's not hearing me out.

My 34-male wife, Beth, 28 female, is 33 weeks pregnant. We're both very ready for this baby to come. My mom is super hands-on with my entire family. My two brothers' wives are very close with her, but Beth has just never really clicked the way the other two did. I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me that my wife seems disinterested in getting closer with my mom and my sister-in-laws.

For all five of the births that my sister-in-laws had and my mom's three births, they were all unmedicated. It is clearly a point of pride for all of them at having done it naturally. My mom said she chose to do it because she didn't want me and my brothers born doped up, and she wanted to experience the full spectrum of becoming a mother. Beth, on the other hand, is very fearful of birth and has talked to our doctors about being medicated.

I don't love the idea of the mother of my child being loopy and out of it at such a critical moment, but those concerns fell on deaf ears when I raised them. I felt very excluded during the discussion around pain management, and neither Beth nor our doctor were receptive to my ideas.

My mom was asking me about our birth plan the other day, and I don't know why I did this, but I just sort of panicked and told her that Beth was going for it the all-natural way, like she and my sister-in-laws have.

To say my mom freaked out with happiness is an understatement. She was thrilled that Beth was open to experiencing the full range of motherhood. And this might sound crazy, but I think if Beth shared this rite of passage with my mom and sister-in-laws, they might finally gel. I told Beth about my slip-up to see if she'd be open to changing her mind, given how this could serve as a critical bonding experience for them to share. And she lost her mind.

yelling about how she wasn't going to compete with my mom and sister-in-laws during her birth. She emphasized that it was her birth again and again, which I don't think is fair because we will both be experiencing and going through it just differently. I was just trying to get her to see that there was an opportunity for her to create some sisterhood with the women of my family. I wasn't dictating or even pressuring her. I just thought she would want to know how happy it made my mom.

She said she didn't give a fuck about sisterhood, which was very intense because Beth does not swear. I wasn't trying to upset her. I just think she would be wise to see the potential long-term implications of not having this shared experience with my mom and sister-in-laws. But Beth has been furious to the point of not speaking to me for several days. And I'm starting to wonder if I'm in the wrong, even if I was trying to help. Am I the asshole? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yep.

Oh, God damn it. Her birth. Her birth. She keeps saying her birth. It is her birth. Yes. Are you pushing something out of your butthole? I am so completely like, I think that when somebody is giving birth, that is, it's their experience and they get to have it how they want to. You know, like I've talked about this before where,

I know people who haven't wanted their in-laws to be in the hospital. Like they just want, you know, their own mother and their husband and that's it. And that's up to them. I just, I think that like that whole process is completely up to the person without a question, without a doubt that is actually giving birth. So yeah,

I do also want to say that I like the fact that there are men that are so excited about being so involved in the process. Like hearing OP talk like this, like it's,

It's like, even though I don't agree with what he's saying, it's like he still is so excited about having his wife bond with the other woman in his life and like sharing an experience that the other women already bond over and share and say how wonderful and beautiful it was. So I do like that he is so excited about being involved in the whole process. You know, you hear about people that are like so like deadbeat. They don't even fucking know when their child's

being born. They're doing something else, like, whatever. So that's, like, the one little piece I will give. But I do truly believe that that process is full, like, through and through for the person who is actually giving birth. Yeah. I also think he's just kind of, like, misinformed. Like, I know in olden days, I think they used to give the moms, like,

chloroform. Like they didn't have like they didn't like well, he is how old? How old was he again? He is 34. So my brother like they didn't they had spinal blocks and like epidurals back then, but they weren't like as good as they are now, I think is what it is or what my mom has kind of told me, because even between like my older brother's birth and my birth, there's an eight year age gap and things had changed like a lot during that time.

But in the olden times, olden days, in the olden days, it's like it's like only 60 years ago. They had like very like it wasn't great forms of pain control. But there's other methods now. Like I know you can get laughing gas.

like if you want like nitrous oxide and I'm like hell yeah I'm gonna get the laughing gas I want to be giggling my ass off I want to be in a pool when I do it like I want to be so pruney and loose in the water birth thing that it just falls out like it yeah it I don't know what it is yeah I don't know it so I don't know there's so many different ways to do it so him being like oh well I don't want her to be loopy and but like I think you're a little uninformed and

It does feel kind of like a competition. It feels like this weird, like, cult initiation. Like, for you to really fit into this family, you have to go through childbirth without medication. Well, that is what I don't like. Because if OP would have approached his wife and just said something like...

hey, I've heard really great things about this. I'd really like you to consider it because I think it'll be so magical for you. And I want you to experience, you know, it all. Those type of conversations. That's awesome. That's beautiful. That's great. I think what really pisses me off is that he lied and then got everybody like cheering, like little cheerleaders being like, she's initiated. And now it's like now he just ostracized her because now when she tells them, no, that's not what I'm going to do. They're going to be like, oh,

She doesn't get it. She didn't do it. You know what I mean? Like stuff like it opens up opportunities to just cause this unnecessary dynamic. So true. Yeah. To shame her, too. And like, I think that's something people need to consider, too, is like a birth plan is just like this is your ideal world.

Birth plans don't always go according to plan. Sometimes you need an emergency C-section. Sometimes you decide you want the epidural. Like, it's just like a best case scenario, but like it's also okay to change your mind. Yeah, he's really goofy. I also, this reminded me of someone that we know who literally said like they think that having pain like prevents the mom and baby from bonding or something crazy like that. Do you remember that? Wait, say it offline right now.

We were sitting around a fire one time.

Yeah, so like I'll bleep the name. So we were sitting around a fire at Justin's house and this guy that was there, we were talking about like childbirth and like all of this stuff. And he literally said, I don't think women get to bond with their babies if they get medicated. Like I think women should have to go through it naturally. And I go, I was just like looking at him. There's no way that he said have to. Yeah. He wouldn't say have to. They should. They should. And I was sitting there and I'm like,

This dude's fucking nuts. I go, that's really convenient for you to say when you don't have to push it out. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. Speaking of. Actually, sorry, I finished. No, I just I I was blown away. Yeah. Oh, so funny. Me and my boyfriend were driving the car the other day and I just was like.

You were driving the car together? Well, at the same time. I was, you know, morally supporting him on the side. Okay, passenger princess. But we... Okay, so just a side note. We've been watching this show called Upload. And in it is this...

opportunity for men actually to carry the baby. So someday. Yes. So I was asking him, I was like, hey, I was like, if if it was an option, like if either of us could carry the baby, would you carry our baby? And he goes, no.

And I was like, no? What do you mean no? At least think about it. No, no, I grilled him. It was so funny. I was like, what do you mean no? And he's like, I just feel like it's like a woman's body is able to, you know, handle that. They're like built to carry babies, you know, like my body's probably not built for that. I was like, well, the idea in this scenario is that your body is built for it. And he goes, oh, yeah.

Yeah, no. So no. So this is something that is very common right now. And it's a big conversation about why guys are nochalant. Like a lot of guys, yeah, I want kids. Yeah, they want kids because they don't have to do anything really to have the kid. Well, to be fair, my boyfriend, I don't know if I should call him by his name or my boyfriend. I don't know. But to be fair, Brian actually said that he didn't want kids ever.

until he met me and then he wanted kids. So it's not something that he's always been like, you know, whatever. But then this is where it's funny. I want to fight him. At least lie. At least say yeah. Well, no, then wait for it. So then I press him again and I'm like, no, in this scenario, you would be able to hold a baby just the same as I would be able to. And he's like, oh, okay. He's like, yeah, no, I don't think I'd like that. And I was like,

I was like, why? And he's like, you know, just do weird things to my body. Like, I just he's like, I don't you know, whatever. And I was like, what do you mean? Yeah, I was like, what do you think you're going through that? Yeah. And then he's like, oh, damn, you're right. He's like, wow. And given he's driving, he's probably like in a different like zone when I listen to music. But he's like, oh, you're so right. He's like, wow, wow.

I really just walked myself into a corner. Now it makes sense. He's like, he's like, yes. Okay. I changed my answer. Of course I would carry the baby. I think I'm literally going to ask Justin this. I think a lot of people listening could ask their partner this. Like, like, cause I think it kind of is in a lot of relationships, like hat relationships. Like it's very clear who the, who would be the one carrying the baby. But in others, like, like lesbian couples, like they're, they have a conversation about this. So,

I literally think a lot of people could ask their partners this and be like, if you could carry our baby and it's the same consequences or potential consequences as what I would have to deal with, would you do it? I'm going to ask Justin this. And honestly, his answer could start probably our biggest fight. So mad. Really? I don't know why. Because it's like, it is such a sacrifice for...

people to have a baby. And so like, I think a lot of guys do take that for granted or just like, don't think about the risks and the consequences and you know, all this stuff that happens. And so it's like, like, it's like, no, I wouldn't. And I'm like, I'm going to, if Justin says no, I'm going to fight him. Well, it was just funny. Cause I kept, I don't remember the exact wording, but I just kept kind of like being like, well, and he's like, wow,

damn you're so right he's like okay i would carry the baby like he came he came back down to earth and was like okay i would do it but it was just so i don't know it made me laugh because he was like he's like oh because it would do weird you know do weird things in my body and i'm like yeah yeah and i'm like and who are usually more criticized for their bodies i was like dad bods are in all the time i was like

I want him to like physically do it now no matter what. I literally want. He honestly, he probably would. I have seen. He was answering very just like kind of like, no, no, no. Like it wasn't like with conviction. Like I actually think that if it was an option, I do think that he would

actually be like, okay, I get one, you get one. I saw this video of this couple that they strapped, like they duct taped or strapped somehow like a watermelon to this guy's belly and he walked around with it for a day. And I'm to the point now where like,

If I have to go through this, like I want Justin to experience my pain. I want to get a suit, like a weighted little belly suit for every single like month or whatever. I want it the whole time. I'm like, if I got to get big, you got to get big. You got to you got to have this extra weight. You got to puff your ankles up. Like I literally do not want to be pregnant. Like, yeah, if it happens, it happens. I don't want to be pregnant. I'm the same way. Like at all.

I'm the same way. I want kids, but like, I know, I know there's a lot of people that are really excited about the idea of being pregnant and they talk about how like magical of an experience. Like my roommate has talked about that too. Like you're glowing. Like she's like, I can't wait to be pregnant. And that is just never where I've been. So that is like, I think having a baby is magical, but or the idea of it, I haven't had one.

But sounds pretty great. Sounds magical. Yeah. But I just don't. I'm too. I already have enough like weird stomach shit. And like, I have so many. I'm so restless already when I'm like sleeping. So I just can't imagine being pregnant and being like, OK, I don't like that.

Yeah. Yeah. It sounds I already have to pee all the time like in the middle of the night. So like I just your bladder is going to be fucked up after. Yeah. I know. And we don't even get pelvic floor therapy automatically here in the States. Like

You have to like ask for it or like really pursue it. And like meanwhile in France... Should we start taking classes? I wanted to get pelvic floor certified. Wow. I really want to look into it. And then my brother actually had pelvic floor therapy because of some issues he developed from like long haul COVID syndrome. Oh, wow. So he went through pelvic floor therapy and then... Okay, maybe I'm not understanding what pelvic floor therapy is then. So like we all have... I honestly thought you were talking about Kegels. So Kegels is a part of it for...

Women are people that have, you know, those organs. But men also have pelvic floor muscles too. So like if you want to like feel what your pelvic floor is, as you're peeing, stop the flow. Like you clench, that's your pelvic floor. And so guys have those muscles too. And so like if you have like erectile dysfunction or like issues with your prostate, that can...

be a part of like pelvic floor health. And so my brother had like this crazy thing happen to him after having COVID. And so he had pelvic floor therapy and like it was really interesting hearing about his process. And so I wouldn't want to do pelvic floor therapy on men. We'll put it that way. Okay. It's interesting. I'm kind of interested now. I'll tell you offline. Okay. It was very interesting what he had to go through. The poor guy.

So there are a lot of comments from OP. Someone comments, you're the asshole. Your complete and utter selfishness is so overwhelming that I had to take a break while reading this post. You and your wife will be experiencing this birth differently because you'll be sitting on your judgmental ass while your wife's body is forever transformed. You are a full partner in parenting, but regardless of what mommy told you, the hours you spend laboring aren't even close to the full range of motherhood. So take a seat.

Oh, he goes, I appreciate that we will have very different roles and experiences of the birth. All I meant was I'm seeing the holistic experience as something we create together because we made this child together and we'll love this child together. Certainly we have different roles in the process. She's more the quarterback and I'm more the coach. So I know she's the one working while I'm the one strategizing.

A different commenter responds to that comment from him and goes, you're not the coach. The coach has experience and knowledge. The midwife is the coach. You're the cheerleader. Smile, nod, wave your pom poms and say, yes, babe, you're doing amazing. OP goes, I have done extensive reading on natural ways to control pain and ensure the baby makes it out with minimal damage to my wife.

So I don't think it's fair to suggest I don't have value to bring to the experience. Do you know what a fourth degree tear looks like, buddy? I think you should check it out. Also, for those that are giving birth, about to give birth, olive oil, perineal massages, baby, you do that.

What is that? You like, you know the area in between your vagina and your asshole? Okay. You're supposed to like massage that. Whoa. And it reduces the risk of tearing. Holy. How do you massage that? Massage with like oils. Like I was picturing like this. So like a fourth degree vaginal tear is the most severe. They go through the anal sphincter and in the mucous membrane that lines the rectum. It needs to be repaired in an operating room rather than in the delivery room. So like...

I want to find a picture for you. I don't think you can handle it after seeing it. Oh, this you can handle. It's just a nice image. Okay. So this is like a fourth degree tear. So this is your vaginal canal and that all tears completely down through all the layers. So do the massages, people. And then if you do, apparently water bursts can help as well. Reduce the likelihood. I'm going to be trying everything.

My mom got cut. They sometimes do episiotomies. And so she got cut. I remember learning about that when I was really young. And it just like when I was in human growth and development class, what I think they used to call it. And I just remember cringing. Just that does not sound pleasant. Yeah, there's a lot of annoying comments from OP. There's another one that's just like, I know I'm not giving birth, but I will be experiencing it in a sense. So I feel my opinion is valid.

It's not. You're the asshole. This is akin to her saying you should go through major surgery without any anesthesia. She's giving birth, not you. You are not equal partners in this. You are a spectator while she's doing all of the work. So you get zero say in how she chooses to do it. Agreed. At this point, you should consider yourself lucky if she allows you to be in the hospital room at all.

Opie goes, I don't think that's an accurate analogy. Women have been giving birth for thousands of years unmedicated. Pain management for surgery is a count for something unnaturally occurring, i.e. opening a chest cavity. I know she's the one doing the work. I just feel like we are better off approaching as a team effort, so we should be aligned. Shut up. Did you see the video? Give it up, buddy. I know. Did you see the video of Travis Barker playing his drum set in the delivery room? Literally sitting there with a drum set.

while she's in the hospital giving birth wait what's his name travis barker like the blink 182 drummer yeah married courtney kardashian right i would murder for some reason i thought it was parker so i got confused yeah barker's such a funny last name yeah um yeah i would not be able to handle that i would be kicking my partner out of the delivery room

Did she want it that way, though? I think she's just so in love. I could see her wanting it that way. Oh, yeah. Like, she's like the first thing that our baby will hear is you, you know? Okay. Bless her soul, though. Bless her heart. Yeah.

We're going to get real weird here. We haven't gotten real, real weird for a while. I, 21 female, want my father, 51 male, to be the sperm donor for my fiance, 22 female, and I. But she thinks this is wrong. What could possibly be done?

I mean, that would be your sibling then. My 21 female fiance, 22 female, and I have been doing some future planning lately. We're set to get married in the spring next year, and we know we both want kids. So we sat down and talked about how we'd like to make that happen.

She's okay with adopting, but I'm not, for a variety of reasons. And we determined that the option that makes us both the happiest is getting a sperm donor. It's extremely important to me that the baby be genetically related to both of us. Since she's not in contact with her family, homophobic, the only way that the baby would be related to both of us is if she carries the child and the sperm comes from my side of the family.

I'm an only child, and I have no uncles or male cousins of an appropriate age. The only way we could do this is if my dad, 51 male, is the donor. I figured he would be excited to help us have the family we've always dreamed of, and I talked it over with him, and he was totally on board. He said he'd let my mom, 52 female, know we were planning on adding to our family. Everything is ready to go on our end whenever we decide to start trying.

I thought it was a really beautiful way to unite our sides of the family, and I know my dad felt the same. But to my surprise, my fiancé was really against it. She laughed at me at first, which confused me because we were having a serious conversation. And then she asked if I was joking. When I said I wasn't, her face immediately dropped. She literally looked disgusted.

She said that would be really weird, as our baby would be my sibling, and that she wasn't comfortable with that in any way, shape, or form. My dad has stepped in a bit for her because of the aforementioned homophobia in her family, and has become a secondary sort of father figure for her, which she brought up. She said having his baby felt wrong and incestuous, and that he was a little bit of a

She said it wouldn't feel like a medical procedure or fertility help. It would feel sexual. That's insane. I don't see how it's different from any other donor, other than actually meaning something to us.

I'm honestly kind of insulted. This is a rejection of my family as well as me, and the fact that she refused to even consider it made me feel overruled in something that's supposed to include the both of us. I can't see myself having a connection to a baby that isn't related to me. It wouldn't be my baby, just a baby I'm taking care of. Even if she says she doesn't feel the same, I think she'd have a hard time with it if it was the other way around and the baby wasn't related to her.

This feels like our only option, and she shot it down without considering my feelings. This is really important to me. I'm worried we won't be able to compromise on this and we'll never have kids, which would be a deal breaker for me. Additionally, this is also the cheaper option for kids. We wouldn't have to pay for the sperm donor, which can cost a lot, and we wouldn't have to do expensive IVF stuff either, since if we get it from my dad, it can all be done at home.

What? It's... What? I hope you mean turkey baster and not sex. Oh, yeah. Wow. Sorry. I just... I'm just registering the fact that she said it can all be done at home. Wait, so...

What? I don't know if she means like it can be done at home. Like a doctor comes in and does it? Like, I hope she means... That even feels way more sexual. Like, the dad just thinks of something hot and like jizzes and then hands it over. Do you know what I mean? Like that even like without a professional there, that feels even more... Sorry, is there more? No. Well, and the thing is, is that like...

It's her body and her choice. She doesn't want to do it. It really does work like that. She really can shoot it down. End of story. So unfortunately, if that is a deal breaker for you, then you guys might not be the right match. And although it is really strange, I do understand that OP is at a place where she wants to have sex.

the child be both her and her partner's genes. But it's also like, well, it wouldn't even be your genes because it's, I mean, yes, it's your genes, but it's like, it's, it's your sibling. It's an, yeah, it's an interesting concept. And I don't like blame her for thinking like that. I mean, I was just, um, I was watching sex education, um,

So good. But one of the guys, his parents, they're a lesbian couple and one is his biological mom and the other one is not. And one time when they got in a fight,

he said something along like offensive to his non-bio mom. And she kind of broke down and was like, this has been my worst fear since like the day we had you is that, you know, you would, you wouldn't look at me as much as a mom as you look at your bio mom. Oh, damn. So I do understand that there's probably a lot that goes into those type of decisions. And so I'm not, I don't, even though it does feel weird, I'm not, I don't think that

OP is like gross or anything for her thought process. But it, you know, the reality is, is that her partner does find it gross and is not okay with it. And that's just the reality. So, yeah.

You shouldn't try to force that onto somebody who feels like it feels sexual on top of it, you know? Well, especially because she starts to look at him as a second father because the relationship with her own family is strained. Exactly. So that's where it's like, it's a really weird position to put her in. And I also think it's strange that she didn't talk to her fiance before going to the dad. Right. Like, this is a really big conversation you should be having with her before anything. Yeah.

And like, I feel like it's kind of weird where it's like, I feel like this is our only option. And she shot it down without even considering my feelings. You went and talked to your dad about this without even considering her feelings. And this isn't your only option. Like, yeah, if you feel like you can't love a kid that's not genetically yours, then you're the one that gets to carry it. And she you use a sperm donor. Right. Yeah.

Like, it doesn't seem like she's got an issue with that because she considered adoption. So it's not your only solution. Exactly. But I would say maybe she doesn't want to carry the baby. Maybe she doesn't want to. Yeah. I don't want to. I'm going to find a way for Justin to. But sorry, you will say what? I will say, like, I think saying that is kind of kind of a caution flag for me. Saying what? Um.

not loving the child is... I can't see myself having a connection to a baby that isn't related to me. I was going to bring that up. Yeah. It wouldn't be my baby, just a baby I'm taking care of. Technically, that baby with your dad's sperm isn't your baby. Yeah.

It's your dad's baby. You're babysitting for your sibling. If you want to get technical. I know that there's a lot of people that get their family to donate. Yes, that is your child. I don't want to invalidate that. But I'm trying to out-logic her. Exactly, yes. It's a logic game. No, I totally get it. That's not the reality of it. But if that's how she's thinking about it, then let's get nitty-gritty and really get logical. You know what I mean? Because the reality is that, and I've talked about this before, but we have a friend who has said to me,

that if she were to find out today that her two children somehow are biologically not hers, she said it would not change a single thing. She was like, having children is about raising them, truly. And I think that that kind of raises...

questions to me it's like okay yes i totally understand that you want to have a biological child to you that's so fair i understand however if you think that you genuinely can't love the child if it's not biologically yours are you sure that you want to raise children

Do you know what I mean? Like, that kind of, like, makes me question. And, like, the fact that... Did she... Are you sure she didn't say that she had fertility issues? Was there something that... Why she wasn't carrying the baby? You know, I do... I'm on the original post, and I do see some comments from OP. Let me see if I can go to the account. There was an update. Unfortunately, it's been removed. Oh. And thanks to Reddit being very...

asshole-ish themselves. They don't allow certain plugins anymore, so I can't even use the Wayback Machine. If someone has figured out a different way to do it, please let me know. There are some comments from OP, none mentioning fertility issues. Someone did point out you should have talked to her first.

I only talked it over with my dad first so that my girlfriend and I wouldn't get our hopes up and then find out we couldn't do it. That makes sense. I didn't think it was going to be a huge issue. I just didn't want her disappointed if it didn't work out. Someone must have gotten weirded out with the comment like, oh, it's cheaper because it can all be done at home. Yeah.

And they have like a long thing like, hey, honey, dad's in the bedroom. Get ready. Yeah. And so Opie goes, I would never in a million years ever want or expect her and my dad to actually touch each other. That's actually disgusting. And it turns my stomach. How many people have jumped to this conclusion in the comments? I didn't set up or arrange anything. If she vetoes completely, it is a veto 100%. But I was just hurt by her reasoning. Hmm.

Well, it sounds like OP's logical. A little bit, yeah. Like, not maybe as obtuse as we thought. I mean, like, overall logical if she can kind of look at it from different angles. Yeah. I guess, right? Yeah. I'm so curious what the update said. It must have got removed pretty quickly. It looks like OP tried to post it a couple times and still just kept getting taken down.

Hmm. Yeah, nothing. I can't find it. Maybe maybe somewhere in the world there are screenshots of it. I'm really searching for this. How would you feel if I'm trying to think of who I want you to put yourself in the shoes of? How would you feel if Justin asked if his dad could donate? Yeah, throw up.

So you would say an absolute no? If Justin couldn't have... Absolutely not. No. I would fucking throw up instantly. God, that's just so disgusting. No, I honestly have never thought about if we can't have kids of our own genetic material. I've actually never thought about this, about what we do next. I honestly...

I don't know. I have a lot of questions to ask him tonight. Yeah, you do. So many questions. Well, I don't think I'd want a sperm donor. Well, did you ever see the Friends episode where Monica and Chandler... I know. First time I've talked about him since...

Just so tragic. So sad. Okay. Not going to get... Weren't they going to use Joey's sperm or something? Or what were they going to do? I don't remember. It's been a long time since I've seen it. But I just... I do know that they were... It was Chandler, I believe, that couldn't have the kids. Yes. And then, yeah. And so she was trying to... They were trying to figure out who they wanted and they were going around trying to find like this...

star athlete type of guy. They had like a co-worker come over. Yeah. And it was like, do you have braces? And like weirded him out. Yeah. And then they ultimately decided that they wanted to adopt because she's like, I don't want to have kids with anyone else besides you. So I'd rather... I think like that's probably how I would feel too. I don't know. I've never, like I've said, I've never really thought about it, but

Yeah, this one is weird. If anyone finds the update and can track it down, send it our way because I'm curious. But yeah, this is I think she's being a little obtuse to like not see the partners like ick in all of it. Yeah. Yeah, it is interesting. The only redeeming part, though, is that she did comment back and say, no, like, I understand it's her choice. I was just hurt that she didn't even like

you know, have a conversation with me, you would just shut me down or whatever she said. So that's what I was saying. At least she understands that she can't like force her to do this. Absolutely. Yeah. A little redeeming. A little bit, yeah. Redemption in it there. Redeeming qualities. Okay. Well, that's all I have for the regular episode. We're headed to Patreon for one more from this theme. Oh, shit. Okay. Yeah. It's going to be good. Just a reminder to check out the new merch.

There is some free content on Patreon already, and there's going to be one other bonus story this month, as well as if you join, even the lowest tier, you get a discount code for merch. And there's so much fun stuff over there, so come join us, even if it's the free tab. We love connecting and talking to you all, so it's a good time. But yeah, check out the merch, you guys. I'm absolutely obsessed with this. I love it.

I love it. I'm already working on design number two, too. Super cute. It's going to be like a whole theme of like travel-ish type poster art with Let's Dive In. Love it. It's so good. Since I got the large, I know Brian's going to...

Try to steal it. I know. I'm wearing a large too. I like that the tan, if you're a girly with hips, I think the tan is better because it doesn't have that band on the bottom. The black has a little bit of the band, but I've been sitting here all night stretching it out. And I honestly might just cut it off. We'll see how it goes. I have a problem with cutting my stuff. I love cutting clothes. We also, we kind of like the more straight...

vibe straight bottoms yeah yeah so like i'm like i love stretching out my bottoms on sweatshirts so then they just like flatteringly like hang down yeah they don't like hug you yeah it's more flattering i don't know yeah i completely agree yeah so if you like that fit go tan um but everything is like really like thick like it feels like it's good quality it's not like a gildan sweatshirt you'd get from walmart um

I wanted to like make sure everything was really nice because like why spend your hard-earned money if it sucks? Yeah. So everything is great. But obviously there's lots of options. T-shirts if you just want a T-shirt. So head over there and check it out. The link is in the description. Yay. But other than that, until next time. Until next time. Bye, guys.