147: Division of Labor & Marital Bliss
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Me and the kids were always messaging. They LOL'd, I ROFL'd. But then I changed phone and the bubbles went green. But where there's a fill, there's a way. And I found a way to share what's in here. I'm tapping my heart. WhatsApp. The place to safely send messages between different devices. Message privately with everyone. Is everyone good? It sounds good in my head. Can you hear you? Yeah, I can. I can hear everybody. Can everybody hear me? Maybe I'll just do this. Can everybody hear me? That's way too much. Yeah, that's a lot. Whoa. Whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. Let's get this show on the road. Cheers. Cheers, everyone. Merry. Oh my gosh. Happy New Year. This is the first episode back after the holidays. And let me tell you. Hoofty. I did a horrible holidays episode to prepare for drama, to prepare for crazy. And well,

We got drama. We got crazy. It's, you know, it's something every year. Just some people can't contain themselves. Family. Family, right? But we are back. New year. New us. Woo! Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. And today, I'm joined by my brother and sister-in-law. And just say your names. I'm Matt. I'm Amy. Hi. You should be.

should remember them it's been a minute it's been a little while too long since they've been on but Matt and Amy are finally going to get around to their own podcast this year Midwest Married you know good things come to those who wait we apologize there was this thing called life kind of got in the way and a house building a house by ourselves so yeah there's going to be an episode on it we're still working it whooped our ass this last year there's going to be an episode on it

But you guys have been married for about eight years now. Yeah, just over eight. Yeah, you got two kids. You've been in the trenches. I thought it was seven. Oh my God. I was still in lucky number seven. 2015. No, but it's eight. Yeah, 2015. It's eight years. No, no, wait. Yes, no, you're right. You're right.

Math is hard. We are all really bad at math here. Yeah, it is. It just takes me a minute. The THT Mathletes, it's a brand. Yeah, we're not good at math here. 23 minus 15. Yeah, no. I just wanted it to be lucky number seven for as long as possible. All right, here we go. You know, yeah, that's good you look at it that way versus the seven-year itch. Well, bend together for 20, so. I know, that's crazy. Okay.

But because of your very extensive experience, I've been building this theme for quite some time. And then today I went through new threads trying to find the best of the best for it. So today's theme is all about division of labor. How do you split chores in your home? How do you take care of kids together? All the chaos that comes into dividing tasks, chores, and domestic happy married life.

Pure chaos. I don't know that we are experts on this. It's like you picked this topic to torture me. Do you feel attacked? A little bit. Just wait. No, just kidding. Yeah, there's some that you guys should really relate to. All right, great. This is a hard thing. It's a hard thing. Okay, let's dive in. ♪

Trigger warning on this one, my friends. We do talk about our favorite friend from the North Pole, Mr. Santa Claus. So if you have some young ones listening, you might want to skip it. Okay, up first.

These people had some tough holidays too. It's posted five days ago from True Off My Chest. It is titled, Husband Has Ruined My Christmas. My husband, 35 male, and I, 35 female, have been married for four years and have two children, three-month-old male and two-year-old male.

This is the first Christmas where my toddler understands a lot more about what's going on. And we've been talking about Santa, decorating the tree, wrapping gifts together, etc.,

My husband has been talking a lot about building family traditions for the kids, which I thought was lovely. My family has a German background, so we opened up gifts from family on Christmas Eve together with my parents and brother. I had a rough night with the baby, so I slept a little longer than usual this morning, Christmas morning, but not unreasonable, I thought. I woke up at 7.45 a.m.,

All right. The toddler had woken up at 6 a.m. and my husband had gotten up to him. I got up to discover that my husband had opened up the presents from Santa with my toddler already, which has left me devastated.

I felt so excluded and robbed of seeing the joy on my child's face opening up the gifts from Santa. There's other words in there, but I'm going to be considerate in case you're listening with a little one. He didn't wait until I woke up or wake me up if the toddler couldn't wait. My husband commented that it was a lovely father-son moment, which drove the knife in further. Clearly, I'm an afterthought when he thinks of family. I've been holding back tears all day for the sake of the toddler."

That is so sad. That is the saddest little Christmas story I've heard in a very long time. I know. That like breaks my heart. It's worse than Tiny Tim. I know. I feel that knife like just twisted a little bit more.

And okay. It's pretty bad. Even if I'm like thinking about the father's perspective and like, oh, we just wanted to have this nice moment. Open one present. Don't open all of the presents without your wife. We got to wait for mommy. Yes. We got to wait. Let's go do something else. There's so many things to do. Kinetic sand, Play-Doh, slime,

Toddler doesn't know what's going on. They don't. They've already waited for Santa to come for so long. What's another couple hours? Right. Come on. At two, they don't understand what the concept actually is. No. Asshole. It's super selfish. It's like, it's beyond justifiable. Like, I don't even know. Right. I can't even put myself in that position where I'd be like, all right,

Let's open all these presents. I just, I cannot put myself in a position where I could sit down with either of the kids and be like, hey, we're going to let mom sleep on Christmas. This moment where kids are generally very excited to open presents and they're having some of those first experiences of opening presents on Christmas morning are like some of my best memories with my kids. What a

douchebag. You can, we allow harsh language here. are there kids listening to this? I forget which podcast I'm on right now, right? All right. All right. That guy is a douchebag. Yeah. Simple as that. Like,

So inconsiderate. Like you go and wake your wife up like, hey, babe, kids are up. Like they want to open presents. Right. And I guarantee you she probably would have been like, oh, okay. Yeah. I'm still tired. But you know what? It's Christmas morning. That's what naps are for. Here we go. Literally. We would wake up early on Christmas being excited, ready to open presents. We would open up presents and my mom would take a nap.

Yeah. Like that's just the way our Christmas rolls. Yeah. We all take naps. Or at two. Come on. Again, do something else with your two-year-old. Watch cartoons. And I don't even know how she goes about addressing it other than like, hey, you're a fucking asshole. And I'm mad. I don't know. I'd be mad. I'd be mad for a long time. We wouldn't talk for at least two weeks. Two weeks? Or you could go the, hey, when you, I felt. We hold grudges.

I don't think we do. You're a very good grudge holder. Amy's like, I feel attacked now too. I'm just saying. Only when it's very warranted and I've got very solid reasons. No, just kidding.

Okay. And how old is a toddler? They have a, what are the ages? Two year old. Two. And like three months old. Brand new baby. And maybe that kid doesn't remember it. And mom's been up a million times. Oh my God. Maybe you rewrap the presents and like can like try to rework it, but I doubt it's going to be the same. And what do you want to bet that mom bought most of those presents?

I'm sure. And probably wrapped him too. Yeah. I think it's really sad too because she does say, I had a rough night with the baby, so I slept a little longer. 745 people is not sleeping in. That is so early. And it's like, she's probably breastfeeding to be, you know, having a rough night. She's taking one for the team there. Like,

I just think it's beyond selfish. And for him to not recognize what he did is pretty horrendous. I think to make it right, yeah, you got to tell him how you're feeling. Like...

People aren't mind readers. People are pretty stupid sometimes. And I would expect him to go to the store, find some other items and rewrap things and wake up the next day for a little bit of a do-over. Like that would be the bare minimum in my eyes to make this right. It's never going to be, you know, able to replicate it, but you know. The thing about it is like, it's a two-year-old

do they really know what they got? Do they really like, no, they'll just be excited to open presents again. And they'll be excited to open presents. Like take the presents, have him rewrap them and have the do over. Yeah. Like, but for sure have the conversation because right now you're setting the stage for like what you expect for years to come and be like, Hey, this is important to me. I want to be here every single Christmas morning. It's a, I,

It's just a thing that you do as a family. Yeah, you'd think that that would be the expectation, but some people are really dumb.

We don't have any comments from OP. Again, this was posted five days ago, but no comments yet. No update on the account. Top comment on the post. As far back as I can remember, my father would bring my mom coffee and toast in bed, and we'd have to wait for mom to be done before we could even go downstairs. We'd have a stocking with a few magazines, coloring books, candy, and a few small toys to keep us busy. I

As time went by, dad would bring me and my brother tea and toast, and we'd hop into their bed to eat and watch TV until mom was ready to go downstairs. Christmas is family time. Yes. Not father-son bonding time. Right. I'm so sorry, OP. Your husband sounds like an ass. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, bottom line. And we kind of have the rule, oh, coffee, we need to get our coffee. Yep, before you get open presents. I want my cup of coffee. We have to have our coffee in hand. So I can sip on my coffee. Yes. We don't eat breakfast before. No, not so much breakfast. All right, we're going to make a cup of coffee, all right? Let's go, Ty.

And okay, so this year... Get mom her slippers, go to the couch, hey, I'll pour some coffee. We go, here, here's your coffee. All right. And then we have the kids take turns like, all right, Emmett, go ahead, find one that's yours. Yeah. This year it was so cute too. I woke up briefly before you did, but I got up and I saw the kids, they were both sitting in front of the tree. It looked like this little hallmark moment. It was so sweet where they were just like sitting there and the like...

luminescence of the tree, looking at the small little pile of presents that we had underneath the tree. And it was so sweet and so cute. We actually forced them to recreate it and took a picture later. But I told Matt about it and I made sure that, hey, go get daddy. And they did. And we did. And it was great. And I feel so sad that she didn't have that moment. No. And every family has their own traditions, but it's

Family. It's not what you decide together. It's not one parent hijacking and sabotaging the day. Right. That's unfortunate. Yeah. Hopefully, you know, year three gets made up to her, but tough one. Really tough one. Right. Next story. So this one is titled, Am I the Asshole for Staying with My Parents and Refusing to Come Home Unless It Is in the Condition That I Left It In Whenever My In-Laws Come Visit.

My husband cannot control his family, or at least he refuses to. When his parents visit and give us shit for forcing our kids to do chores, he gives in and the house slowly becomes a mess that I've been left to clean up. When his siblings visit, we are expected to clean up after them. I never agreed to this, so now I leave. I lock my office up and go to my parents' house. I

I meet up with his family at restaurants or other public places. His parents have learned now that when they visit, they have to clean up after the kids or get them or my husband to do it. They tried saying that I was abusive for refusing to do housework while they visited. So I posted a picture of my home before they came and one I took during their last visit.

I asked them why the house was so messy and dirty and did they have anything to do with it. They said it wasn't their mess. I replied that the house was clean before they showed up. Once they started getting dogpiled for messing up my house, they threw the kids under the bus. They said my kids were uncontrollable and it was their mess. I

I pointed out that there was no mess until they came, so obviously my kids were able to clean up after themselves when there weren't people telling them not to. My husband's siblings have canceled plans to visit because they know I won't be there to clean up after them or cook, so they will have to cook or spend money on takeout and restaurants. Great outcome, in my opinion. My husband says that I'm being unfair putting all the work of cleaning up on him.

I said he has two children to help him as well as adult guests who should be able to not make a mess. I also told him he could just pay a cleaning service out of his discretionary funds if he wanted to let his family run rampant and not clean up after them. He said that I was being mean by not contributing and making him spend his money.

I asked how much he normally spends on cleaning the house. The answer is nothing, since the four of us keep the house clean and tidy when we are on our own. Am I the asshole? I guess what I'll say is like, I'm going to say a little bit in this instance. How so? Because why are you letting your in-laws dictate how you raise your kids?

Why are you feeling such pressure from your in-laws that you have to literally leave your own house because they're giving you shit about making the kids clean up? No, this is just how I'm choosing to raise my children and it's their responsibility to clean up because that's what I have decided to do as their parent.

So you're going to force your... You're going to go and stay at your parents' house because your in-laws are coming and you don't want to deal with their shit. Well, there's a bigger conversation to be had there. Like maybe then your husband needs to step in and be like, hey, we're not going to let your parents do this. And if...

you're going to let them do that, then they're not going to come here anymore because this is how we're raising our children and it works just fine without them here. Yeah. So figure it out. But now you're putting everybody in this really awkward situation. Let them be. Let them. You leave. Let them. Let them. I don't know. I feel like it's weird. I feel like it's weird that she has left and

And it's just like, she's still participating though in activities. She meets them out. I see Amy over here. I see the wheels turning. I don't know. It's so, it's a weird thing. And so maybe, maybe it falls on the husband then now that we've talked about it. There we go. At the same time. There we go. She should have, it's her children and it's, it doesn't matter what you're,

And it's not just the children because the in-laws are making the mess that they're not cleaning up. The aunt and uncle are making the mess that they're not cleaning up, etc. It's not just the kids who stop...

And I don't know the ages of these kids and if they're younger, if they're thrown off their routine, for sure. Like it all goes to chaos, right? I for sure think the partner needs to be stepping in and like having that partner's back a little bit more. I agree with that. I kind of feel a little bit of both ways though, because the people pleaser in me feels very uncomfortable with like laying that boundary of like,

I don't like this and therefore I'm leaving. Yeah, they're kind of participating, but they're also like not supporting their partner in a way. They're like, okay, peace. I'll see you at the restaurant.

So that doesn't feel great to me either. Honestly, the best thing that- Okay, so you guys are kind of aligned. You're kind of aligned on that one. The best thing that I could see is that the in-laws, the family should get a hotel. Yeah. Yeah. I agree with that. Like, don't let the in-laws stay. Have them stay at a hotel, Airbnb, next door, you know, wherever it is.

I know finances can be tough. Yep. You maybe even chip into their Airbnb if you have the means to it. But say it's just too disruptive to our family routine. When you've got kids, routine is so important. And when you deviate from that routine, like around the holidays, what have you, behaviors, cleaning, et cetera, a lot of it can just go out the window and it's so frustrating and everybody gets tired and tired.

Holidays can be so hard. So that's kind of where I feel like the best solution would be. Yeah, I agree. I will say, yeah, does it feel great? Like if...

my partner abandoned me and then it was like, or it felt to me like I was abandoned. Right. Like in this state, in this situation, it would be tough. Cause it's like, yeah, God, my family's sorry you guys, but you're fucking crazy. So it's like, if I had to then like not have a united front, it would be a little annoying, but she is giving him solutions like, Hey, let's just make the kids and everyone keep up with themselves and,

Hey, you could hire a cleaning person with your money. You know, this is your family coming and not upholding things. So there's ways to do it. Hey, sweetie pie. Hi, buddy. Come here. Oh, the light is so bright for a little guy. What's up? Hi. BRB, friends. Okay, we're back. Kids sleeping again. Brief interruption. Yeah, but I feel like I was saying something like I would...

Be a little sad to not have a united front, but I think like you guys have said, like this might be a time where a hotel becomes necessary and if they can't afford it, then your husband needs to start advocating for you as a family unit and say, this is just what we do. Get on the page or sorry, we can't host. We'll come stay with you guys. Yeah. We'll come visit you. Absolutely. That sounds great, doesn't it? We'll stay at grandma and grandpa's house.

Or maybe shorter time frames. They're not staying for a week. Maybe they're just coming for one night. Yep. And here's the other thing. Like when you're a host and you're hosting people, it's hard to do by yourself. Like it makes it much easier, in my opinion, when you're around. Like when we have people here, I would much rather have two of us than just one. Yeah. Yeah.

I will say, I don't think she's the asshole in this situation. I think this might be just one of those times. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. And this is the wake-up call that everyone needed, especially the husband, to get on the same page and now be able to stand up to his family.

and advocate for his family, his wife, their way of life. I don't think she's the asshole, but I think going forward, they need to find a better solution long-term. If he's not willing to step up and he's going to maintain this status quo, I don't want to confront my family, then sorry, she's not going to be there. Like, I think honestly, that does become fair if he's unwilling to make change. You said it. I like it. I agree. Yeah.

We do have a comment that OP responds to. What I'm curious about is what type of chores are you making your children do that your in-laws feel the need to speak up and tell them not to do them? Yeah, I'm curious too. And OP goes, rinsing their dishes and putting them in the dishwasher. That sort of thing. And there's seven? No mention of ages on this one. Oh, okay.

I mean, that seems pretty standard. I feel like if they can rinse their dishes, they have to be at least seven because our six-year-old can just barely, she can't reach the faucet quite yet. Yeah. And your plates are heavy. Yeah. But still, she's still putting the dishes. She could probably do it though if she had like the right equipment. A stool. Yeah. She's still putting her dishes in the sink and like. Yeah. Yeah. She's six. She's carrying her spot at the table. Yeah. Yeah.

That's not unreasonable. No. I don't think that's unreasonable. No, and I'm getting the vibe that they might be a little older and

Overall vote on this one was not the asshole. Top comment, not the asshole. Actually, your way of handling this is brilliant. The rules should clearly be that all adults pick up after themselves as a matter of course. They're human, not monkeys at a zoo. All children are in training to learn how to pick up after themselves. And of course, the training doesn't stop just because the grandparents or cousins come to visit.

It is to do with a certain grade of civilization. Non-civilized people may not want to pick up after themselves, but other people may choose not to associate with them on any level. Normally, it's the grandparents' job to spoil their grandchildren, so maybe the grandparents could pick up the slack and do some dishes. Yeah, I think so. Just a thought. Just a thought.

Yeah, I like the way this was handled. I think this is the blasting with the picture before and after is like just so satisfying. Like, what happened to my house? What happened here? Did she post those photos? You know, I was kind of confused if she posted them on Facebook or if it was just in a group text with all the family members.

But I'd be okay with the group text. Like, hey, here's for everybody who is involved. You know, I've made my position known and this is why. You don't want to be on blast in front of the world. Don't blast it on social media. I think that's maybe going a little bit like immature. They say here, so I posted a picture of my home.

Posted. Posted. She went the social media route. I think this sounds like a Facebook post. Good for her. Just stab that knife in. I mean, they do say that boundaries are all about saying how you are going to respond, but I don't know. Not the way you would do it. No, not the way I would do it. Yeah. But hey, maybe it'll work. There you go. Maybe it works. Okay, moving along.

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This one is 18 hours old. I'm telling you, you should be responding to these. Like, Atu Hot Takes has got this. Check us out. My people are on Reddit, and we have our own subreddit. So if people want me to see... I know, but wouldn't it be cool if you got the OPs to respond back? I sometimes message people. I get involved. Nice. So this next one...

Would I be the asshole for telling my husband I'm disgusted with him? I, 26 female, literally cannot take this anymore. My husband, 26 male, does not brush his teeth. Like he hasn't brushed them at all in months.

The last time was when he went out with a few friends. I hold my breath anytime he's near my face. I hold my breath every time we kiss. I'm laying here right now in disgust because I was facing him and the odor just slapped me so hard I almost passed out.

I've mentioned it a few times, and I feel like he gets really defensive. Initially, I was blaming it on depression, but at this point, it's been months, and I'm tired of giving him excuses. Would I be wrong if I tell him I'm repulsed by him at this point? We've been married five months, and I can't take it anymore. I take showers daily, and he can go days without one. I hate

I hate laying next to the odor. I've tried to be subtle and say, hey, let's tackle our hygiene and overall health together. And before anyone asks, I was not aware of these poor hygiene habits prior to getting married and living together. He seemed very well put together when we are around others, but they don't experience what I have to go through behind the scenes the rest of these months.

This is not a joke. This is not for karma points. I am at my wits end and I need to know how to approach it. I'm just not even attracted at this point. I want to know how long they dated prior to getting married. Like what on earth? Yeah, it seems interesting that it wouldn't have been an issue beforehand, but maybe it wasn't an issue. Maybe they were brushing teeth.

I do think if it's somebody that you love and you care about, you would be an asshole to be like, I am repulsed by you. Because that's kind of what I think that those were her words, right? Does she say, am I an asshole if I say I am repulsed by you? Yeah, that is an asshole. There's a move. There's a better way to go about it. Sometimes it's okay to be an asshole, but in this situation, if you were an asshole, you wouldn't be an asshole. Right.

Like you just need to make him realize that you're not in the wrong is what I'm saying. Like it's okay to be an asshole if you're not wrong. What? Do you get what I'm saying? No. Yeah, a little.

Should she say, I'm repulsed by you? I think that was the direct question. Oh, you think that she should? I think she should not. Yes, I thought that's what you were saying. I thought you were saying that she should. No, no. She should tell him. I think she should tell him, but in a more loving way. I'm going to tell you right now. If you stop brushing your teeth, if you stop brushing your teeth for months,

I will tell you that I'm repulsed by you. Nobody wants to smell your stinky breath. I get really self-conscious of tonsil stones because I know they sting. That's a real thing. And so for me, like I'm constantly looking in my mouth with a flashlight and my little mining tool to be sure, because sometimes I consider that I'm like, I don't want Justin to not want to kiss me because my tonsil stones stink. Like I don't get how he's not aware that,

And we do have some insight on her. People are very confused how she didn't know or realize. OP responds, we were long distance. I genuinely had no clue. And someone goes, and you stayed anyways?

Did you read the part where I said I had no clue until after we were married? So maybe arranged marriage. Maybe they don't believe in divorce. Or don't believe in living together before they're married. A lot of different reasons here. But I think like all of that aside, it's like, okay, here we are. How the fuck do we handle it? Here's my idea. I got an idea. Okay. You just, you're married now. Make him an appointment to go see the dentist and say, hey, I'm concerned about

about this. Here's the recommendation. Is there a reason that you're not? He's got to go. He's got to go. And bring him to the dentist where they will examine and find out if there's any medical issues going on that is causing this halitosis and take care of his teeth. Maybe it's pain. Maybe it hurts. So who knows? We're giving him the benefit of the doubt because it is not normal to not brush your teeth. Yeah. And like everyone...

like sometimes you fall asleep and you forget one time or, you know, you're depressed and maybe a week. It's hard to take care of yourself. Two weeks, a month. Like we all go through things. I think if you have very serious depression, like it could be months like this, but you got to address things

All of this. Like if it's truly, you're just lazy and you don't want to brush your teeth, let's find an easier solution. Maybe an electric toothbrush will help. If it's depression, let's talk therapy, medication. How can we work through that? Right. This not brushing your teeth, unacceptable. Like,

What is the underlying issue? It sounded like the teeth, that was like the major thing, but it sounded like there was like maybe some body odor type issues because he's not showering like regularly. Oh, I missed that part. So when they're in bed together, she can like smell either his breath or smell him. A lot of smells. A lot of smells. A lot of smells.

I would not do well in that situation. That would be... Here's the thing, though, Matt, you don't give yourself enough credit for how kind you are. I don't think that you would ever tell me that. I think that you'd be like, hey, come join me in the shower.

Hey, I bought you this new toothbrush. Hey, try this new toothpaste. I think it's great. That's probably true. I would use those tactics before I went to repulse. You would absolutely do that to me. You would never, ever tell me that you're repulsed by me. Ever. Never in a million years. Yeah. I think the repulsed word is pretty, it feels really like aggressive. I'm trying to envision it in my brain. Like, right? Like, what functions are you at where this is happening? Like,

And how long have you... How has none of his friends told him, though? And have you asked him, like, hey, I need you to brush your teeth? Yeah. I mean, she says she's mentioned it and it doesn't happen. Yeah, I would just be like, hey, I'm kind of... Your breath is really repulsing me. I mean, you got to have a really serious conversation. Right. I don't think you have to be mean about it. No. But if you have this initial conversation and nothing changes, then yeah, like...

There might be some tough love and like, hey, if you're in America, divorce is okay. How's everything else going in the relationship? Are you guys having fun together? Are you guys... Like, what's transpiring here? It sounded like maybe she's at the end of her rope a little bit. Divorce, babes. Divorce. Sounded like that's what she was implying there. Nothing to be ashamed of. I, you know...

Based on the comments, I read that divorce isn't a thing for her. So she's like, I'm at my wit's end. What do I do? And tough love. Tough love. Get him a toothbrush. Get him some toothpaste. Make a dentist appointment. Have a really hard-to-heart sit down. And I think you can be honest and say, I don't feel attracted to you when your breath stinks. That's a very fixable thing. Or when you don't brush your teeth. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Because you need to make it actionable. Yeah. There we go. Yeah. Keep us posted on this one. If you're listening, please give us an update. It's pretty fresh. So I'm going to be watching. I think it's salvageable. Like you guys put the D word on the table. I think it's salvageable. I think that you can have that conversation. I think that you can do those kind things with love and being like, hey, here's an issue. Here's how we can get through this together.

Like if you just brush your teeth, we're going to be good. We're going to be cool. Let's hope so. Yeah. I feel like we're missing a lot, but I hope that's all it is. Just brush your teeth. Yeah. If it's that simple. I mean, that's all the information we have. It is true. So that's what we have to go off of. Okay. Moving. Moving down the line. So up next, I feel like this one might need a trigger warning too if your kids are in the car because we do talk about deer, especially Bambi.

But based on the title, you'll kind of see where it goes. So if you have a kid in the car, you might want to skip this one too because we talk about Bambi. Oh, boy. Bambi, you know, blink, blink. Okay. So this next one is titled, Am I the Asshole for Telling My Wife She Can Work Overtime for Food If She Refuses to Eat Deer Meat? Here's your chance. One more time. Keep going.

As a lot of you know, food is expensive right now. I was lucky enough to get a deer. I ground it up for ground meat. Basically, when you cook it, you just think it is normal ground meat, especially when you do recipes with spices like tacos.

My issue is with my wife. We have two kids that are under seven. The oldest is fine eating it, but the youngest hates it now due to my wife. The first time I made some meatloaf with it and my wife commented that it's Bambi. She doesn't hate the taste just when she knows it's deer. I know this because she liked the tacos and then refused to eat them after my wife made another comment about Bambi.

She was two tacos in already. My wife doesn't like to eat it, but I would think she would see that this is to save money and the food is fine, that our kids need protein and meat is so expensive right now. I have talked to her before, but she keeps doing it. I want my daughter to actually have some red meat in her diet since we can't afford to keep buying it.

It came to a head today. I made some meat sauce and pasta. My youngest was already eating it, and my wife came in and made a Bambi comment. She refused to eat the rest of her dinner. I had enough and told her I expect her to start working overtime for food since she stops people from eating the deer meat. We got into an argument about it, and she thinks I am a huge jerk and disgusting for the deer meat. Am I the asshole?

I'm going to let you go first this time. Let's go, dear boy. What do you got to say over there? I'm going to say he's not the asshole. And I'm going to put an asterisk on that, okay? Here we go. Not everybody agrees with hunting and shooting animals and eating them. So, like, if the wife, like, truly...

doesn't like that because it's killing or whatever it is, that's fine. She doesn't have to eat it. Her like jumping in and being like, oh, you're eating Bambi. I think that's a little, that's, that's a little rude. Like you don't need to do that. Like your kids are eating, like it's good to like culture them, have them experience different types of things. Now let's get down to the

hard facts here. I also, one comment on that though, I also feel like her constantly being like, it's Bambi. It feels very emotionally manipulative to your kids as they're eating. I feel like that could long-term lead to serious issues with food, trusting what you're eating. I think like there's other ways to go about it if you don't agree with your child eating deer meat. Okay, go on. Yeah. So, yeah. All right, back to the hard facts. Yeah. When you take venison versus ground beef,

You put it in a pot of chili and you cook chili. You absolutely cannot tell the difference. Now, for those listening, Amy is sitting here shaking her head. I will give you this. If you put venison in a pan and a burger in a pan from a cow, ground beef versus ground venison, 100%.

They taste different. You can tell when you start adding spices and sauces. It is extremely difficult to tell. So unless you're a meat savant and can like decipher everything that's going into it, you can't. We might even have to do it tonight. I would bet a thousand dollars right now that she would

Would not be able to tell. I can absolutely tell 100%. You can't. Call me a meat savant, everyone. I absolutely can tell if it's in tacos or to the chili that I make. And this is how ridiculous it is because mine venison packages are 60% pork. And I can still taste the difference. No, you cannot tell the difference. Yes, I can. You cannot tell the difference in a taco. It doesn't matter, though. It doesn't matter. See, it doesn't matter that she can't tell the difference, but she knows what it is.

And mentally, it has ruined her. No, it hasn't. Let's go back to the story. Everybody's like yelling at you for like altering from the story. But no, some people do love deer meat. And I think if like, here's the thing. I...

I can't get my head around it. I don't know why. It hurts my stomach because I don't eat it very often. Obviously, if you have the enzymes and you eat it a lot, I think that might be different. Right. But if you look at someone like Matt, who goes out with a bow, he hunts very ethically, very fair. He actually gives the deer a chance versus my shotgun friends out there. Rifle.

Yeah, rifle, whatever it is. But I think like if you look at the way a lot of people get their meat, it's coming from a factory farm. Like if the wife is concerned about these animals, the deer is probably coming from a better place than a cow or your chicken or turkey or pig that came from a factory farm. Unless you're going to, you know, the Adolph store down the road that gets their meat from all these local farmers and

You're not really... You know what I mean? It's way healthier. The deer would be better. But here's... Okay, my turn. Go ahead. Your turn. We're also in northern Minnesota. This is coming from a very... I've had venison all my life. I have tolerated it all my life because of all of the arguments of it's ethically good. Did you write this? Did one of you write this story? No. Okay. So...

I get it. I understand it. But here's where I have issue with this particular story is that they are not allowing the child to explore their own likes and dislikes and to make their own decision, especially with food. I think that that's very healthy and very important. I have...

An offshoot short story where this is where I learned my lesson. Okay. So your guys' cousin, Mackenzie, I remember this day distinctly because it was the day your Aunt Dawn told us that she was pregnant with Madison.

and Matt and I had been dating a very short while. This was like we were dating probably six months or less. We were babies. We were like 17 or something like that. Oh, my God. This is like, what, 2003? Yes. Madison was like three years old, two years old, something like that. For some reason... Oh, you know, we must have been... Yes, Mackenzie. So we must have been 18. It must have been around like your grad party or something because we were outside, and for some reason, you had like a shrimp cocktail thing outside.

Like outside in the barn or set up in the, you know, whatever. Bread parties. And so I did not care for shrimp at that time. And I thought I was being silly and teasing. And Mackenzie went to grab a shrimp and to eat a shrimp and to have a shrimp. And Matt and I always teased each other about me not liking seafood, shell food, whatever. And Matt liking it. And I went to her, oh, that's icky. Don't eat that.

And then she like recoiled from it and was like, oh my goodness, no, like I'm never going to touch that again. And I felt so terrible that I made an impression on this little child's food palette and probably... Shame on you. I know, shame on me. She probably doesn't like shrimp because of you. She probably doesn't. I've never asked her. But like it made an... They're so young and impressionable at that age of like, oh, you're the adult. You are telling me what's safe and what's not safe. And you're telling me that what I'm eating is...

Safe or not safe. And so that's where I come to have a problem with this. The wife can like venison. She cannot like venison. That is fine. I agree. But if you don't have a moral or ethical problem with the meat, then you should allow your children to go ahead and form their own opinions about it. I mean, kids...

It's hard enough to feed them, period. I mean, chicken nuggets and mac and cheese. Hot dogs. Hot dogs. Can we please have our kids something other than that? Please? Porn dogs. That's a win for me. Which is so crazy because when you guys did baby-led weaning, they ate everything. Oh, they sure did. They ate everything. And secretively, I think they do still like everything. It's just easy. They just want the...

The mac and cheeses they want. I mean, Emmett was eating shrimp the other night, so you definitely don't have... Yeah, and they both still eat shrimp. Yeah. And they both still eat...

steak or honestly, whatever we cook, they will usually take a few bites. It's a little bit of their mood. Yeah. And that's all kids. I mean, I, with OT, I worked with some kids with food sensitivities or food tolerance issues. And once they develop those aversions, it's hard to work through them. So my issue with

meats or even food in general, I don't think you should ever hide what people are eating. And I think that's what you were saying. Let them know. Let them have that autonomy. But the wife doesn't need to have this bleh, Bambi. That's bullshit. You're creating issues with your kids. Be open. Be transparent. Tonight, we're having venison. This is a different kind of meat. Let's try it.

Hmm. What do you think? Like, and you can go through, you know, they're, they're a little older. I guess they're not that old. I mean, they're two kids under seven, no mention of the ages, but like, I think about the food, um,

the food methods I used with OT and there's, you know, there's certain steps you can do where you look at the food and then you touch the food and then you smell the food and then you lick it and then you actually eat it. Like let them go through that process to determine what they like and don't like, but the mom needs to rein it in and get it together because there's nothing wrong with deer meat. You want to eat it, eat it. But I don't, I agree. Like you shouldn't hide what your kids are eating. Like my uncle did that to me and he's like, I think it was

I don't know, it was tacos or something you could hide it in. And I was like, oh, you know, what is this? Like, what kind of meat is this? Oh, it's beef. Sure enough, I eat it. Find out later. It's not beef. It was venison. And of course, my stomach was upset. And he did that with all sorts of shit. He did it with bear meat. He did it with caribou. And I'm like, I just want to know what the fuck I'm eating. Like, don't lie to me. I just can't stand that. We do have a comment, though. Okay.

Someone goes, info, what exactly is your wife's problem with venison? Does she have a problem with hunting? Does she have a problem with the taste? Does she think that deer meat is low class and thus beneath her? Does she just generally dislike the idea of eating meats that aren't the standard pork, beef, chicken, fish selections in a typical grocery store? And Opie goes, she thinks it's disgusting. She thinks that about all wild game.

There can have a distinctive flavor to Wild Game, and if you're not accustomed to it, I definitely think that it's different. And there are people, believe it or not, who can tell the difference and are meat

as you would call it. But again, let that be your experience and then don't push that on your kids because they are looking to you for safety and for answers. And so, yeah, I think that her calling it, oh, Bambi, watch out for Bambi. I mean, that hits those kids on a whole different level. Not just like, I just like the taste of...

of this meet. Bambi was already traumatic enough. Now you've got mom throwing this in. If you watch that as an adult. Bambi's fucking sad. I have bawled multiple times watching that movie as an adult. I don't think I was affected as a kid as I am now. I think I saw it at a very, very young age. Yeah, we were like probably two. Who knows? Yeah. I don't think Bambi ever like stuck as far as like the entirety of the story. Yeah.

And then watching it later as an adult, you're like, whoa, all right. I know, there's this mom. Yeah.

Poor mom. Yeah. It's sad. It's an orphan. It's a tough one. But we, we also have a lot more comments from OP. If you guys want to, um, yeah, like not you guys, but our friends, I'll, I'll be sure Morgan, Morgan posts the link, but a lot of people asking like, do you actually save money by eating deer? And OP goes, yes, we saved a lot of money. We have enough for a few months. This is hundreds of dollars. And I will agree. Like,

grocery shopping is expensive. It's really gone up over the past couple of years. So if you're eating a lot of meat, I mean, how much meat do you get from one deer? It depends on the size of the deer. Generally, like let's just call it a medium sized deer. Yeah. 40, 50 pounds. That's a lot of meat. That's a lot of meat. Yeah.

I mean, here's the deal. It's like 40, like think about a pound of meat from the store. That gets you if you're meal prepping. If you are truly going to use wild game as your food source and that's what you're going to supplement, you're not going to buy beef, like yes, it probably is a savings. But if you're going to hunt as a hobby and you're going to just go out and hunt, you're not...

Not really save anything, but if you're like, I'm going to hunt because I need to fill the freezer and keep the freezer stocked because I'm going to use that meat. Yeah, then absolutely. It would fill it because you could get a deer, you could get a bear, you could get a turkey, you can get a bonus tag for a deer. So depending on where you're at in Minnesota, you can take up to five deer. Wow. So you're up to 200...

300 pounds of meat potentially. Yeah, you're eating good. So you're eating good, right? You don't have to ever go back to the store and...

- You're just buying your veggies. - Get cow and get steaks, 'cause you can make steaks and roasts and hamburger. - Amy's like, "Thank God we don't do that." - And hot dogs and brats out of all your venison. - It can be a cost savings if you don't spend all that money in all of your hunting accessories. - So for the record, for anybody that's listening, it is not a savings for me.

Yeah. And OP does get questioned like, oh, did a deer just fall into your lap? Hunting's expensive. It can be. Yeah. But you can do it on a budget as well. Like you absolutely can. I will give it him that. I don't know that I agree with him like, well, then you should work overtime to make up for that because, okay, well, what happens if you didn't get a deer? Then like, are you going to still have your, oh, I didn't get a deer. You got to work overtime. Yeah.

or maybe you guys can... Hey, if she really doesn't care for that taste, are you going to... You guys just eat separate meals. Right. Just eat separate meals. Done. Yeah. Overall vote was not the asshole. So...

There we go. Hopefully, hopefully they'll figure it out. But OP does say they are struggling financially and it didn't cost any money. Gunn was his dad's. So maybe it cost him a bullet. Meat processor was free. So that's a cost savings. If you do it yourself, for sure. Yeah. And a lot of people are struggling. So the wife needs to get it together. Hey, if he and his two kids like it, that for sure saves money. Yeah. She can go get some chicken nuggets. Yeah.

Moving to the next one. Who does the grocery shopping in your house? How do you split chores? I enjoy grocery shopping the most, but I think it's probably at this point, probably a 50-50 split.

When like we say grocery shop, I probably go to the grocery store more often, like pizza run, milk run. But if we're going to like shop and get groceries, Amy meal plans, she goes and gets those groceries.

I grocery shop and I buy the store. It's a matter of budget. Also a little bit a matter of health because you come home with like 10 different sugar cereals. I love cereal. Every single time. Not just like cereal, like sugar cereal. Like Lucky Charms. Fruity Pebbles. Delicious. Fruity Pebbles. Racist Puffs. Cocoa Puffs. Fantastic. Cap'n Crunch. So many. Tricks.

So many, all of those. I see. They're fantastic. Cookie crisps. It's like dessert. Don't forget that. It's like dessert in a box. It is. It's a little much. Who decided that that was a breakfast option? Marketing people. Yes, yes. Marketing. It's fantastic. Bright colors. You know, it's a perfect- And that's all my kids want to eat. And it's not a burger record, people. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Cereal, Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, all that jazz. Cinnamon, I forgot about that one. It's not.

A breakfast food? It's a 9 p.m. late night prior to bedtime snack. I'm for sure going home and having a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. Absolutely. Hard to hear first. Let's get into this one. All right, here we go.

So this is seven hours old. Can you feel the heat coming off? Can you feel it? It's fire. It's coming from relationship advice. So not am I the asshole, little different. Okay. It's titled my 25 male girlfriend, 26 female broke down in tears because I didn't get one item from our grocery list. Oh,

What was the item? That's what I need to know. We were supposed to have supper. Let's say spaghetti with cheese on top. Not really, but I don't want to get too specific. And I didn't get the cheese. Some might say it ruins the whole dish, but some might not care too much if it's there or not. So we were out shopping together. And as we were going down the grocery list, I asked my girlfriend if we want to get the cheese, to which she says no.

We finish shopping, go back home, and I start making the dish while she showers. She gets out. I let it simmer for a bit and I go shower. Once I get out of the shower and I'm about to serve it, she suddenly asks if we bought cheese. I look at her and say we didn't. I say I even asked her if we should get it and she said no.

She says she thought I was asking her about something else. To be fair, what I asked her and what she said she heard is different by one syllable in our language, and both of these things could go together with the dish I made. I assume she did mishear me.

At this point, she gets up and says she's not going to eat it. She got some leftovers from the fridge and went to the other room to eat. I figured it's best to let her be alone for a while. So I ate part of what I made for the evening. After some time, I go check on her and she's laying in bed crying her eyes out.

I was taken aback as this was not the reaction I expected at all. I tried talking to her, but she both refused to eat it without cheese and didn't want me to go and get it now.

She was extremely upset and still crying a lot. She told me she was very hungry and didn't eat much throughout the day, and now she feels even worse. Because we went shopping together, then she waited for me to put the dish together, but in the end, she couldn't even eat it. I know it sucks to not eat much throughout the day, so I kind of understand where she was coming from,

I decided that at this point in time, there's not much else I could do but go and get the cheese, which I did. I came back and found her eating some snack that we had left. I asked her if she would like to eat now, that we can heat it up, but she adamantly refused to eat the dish and doesn't want to talk with me either. She earlier said she's going to be sleeping on the couch tonight.

If she goes through with it, it remains to be seen. I'm wondering what I could do to try and remedy the situation.

Do I just let her be? I'm struggling to fully understand her point of view. As for me, it doesn't matter if a particular ingredient is missing or not. To some extent, I see where she's coming from, but not fully. Any thoughts? This is so silly. I have a thought. This is the silliest thing I've ever heard. How long have they been together? Like two months? You need to comment. Like three weeks? You need to comment now. It's only seven hours old. Like you need to comment. Like, hey,

found this at Two Hot Takes episode coming soon. Check it out. You need to like blast this. Anyways, go on. This is so silly. This is the silliest thing that I have. This is not made up. He seems so caring and being like, oh my goodness, I thought she didn't want the cheese. We didn't get the cheese. She said she wanted the cheese, but like it's not a big deal. And so I ate the meal. Like also it's just food. Like what happens when you've got kids? What happens if you like...

get married and are deciding on things for the wedding and heaven forbid they pick the wrong tablecloth color or something silly like that. This dude needs to run. Really? Over just the cheese? It's... Her reaction. It's her reaction. It's not about the cheese. It's not the cheese. Who... Okay. And...

Was it really not cheese? Was it a different thing? We're going to call it cheese. Are we missing something here? We're unsure. It's cheese. Fine, let's call it pizza. And he forgot the pepperoni. Or it was going to be macaroni and hot dogs, and he forgot the hot dog, but there's still delicious macaroni at the end of the day. He still contributed to the meal. It's still a small detail with a minor misunderstanding. Communication mishap. I'm going to give it one unless you're allowed to stay

If this meal was in some way very significant, like it was her father's favorite dish and he died tragically. Oh, man. And it was like his birthday and she really wanted to remember him and have this dish. By his recipe. By his recipe and something bizarre. Or maybe her birthday meal or-

Something ridiculous that was so tragic that she was looking so forward to this. I just don't get it. It's bizarre. If this was just a regular Tuesday night eating some

Lamb and tuna fish. Ew. That's weird. Have you seen Big Daddy? No. Adam Sandler. Check it out. You'll get the reference. If you know, you know. Okay. Gross. I don't want to know. So, yeah, this guy needs to run because for crying about the cheese.

We're going to be crying about a lot of other things. But we've all been there. Think about Shark Week, how emotional you can get. Think about a bad day at work. A puppy commercial can make me cry. Ball in bed and then annihilate, like alienate your partner. Yeah.

Okay, but then you always come back though, right? Like you have a nice sleep and then you come back and you're like... I'm gonna sleep on my couch because you forgot the cheese. Honey, sorry. But the thing is, I guess like I'm on his side. This is what's going on. I do like I see this as a little goofy. I'm wondering like my head kind of goes to like weaponized incompetence. But the thing is,

He did ask her, should we get cheese? There was a miscommunication at the store. He also made the dish. And he offered to go back and get it. That. So it's like, it's hard to like have...

kind of a devil's advocate for her because there was so much remedy for the problem. And then to still be upset and like, I'm sleeping on the couch. It just makes me wonder like, okay, like we said, I feel like we're missing something. We have a lot of comments, so we're going to unpack a lot. Okay. But as you guys said, like this is not about the cheese. This feels like a straw that broke the camel's hump. Like it just is. There's got to be something more to this. It can't just be the cheese. Maybe he forgets the cheese almost.

All the time. Yeah. And she's told him five million times. But he did ask. Yeah. So about the cheese. Top comment. The cheese is not the issue here. Yeah. But let's get into some of Opie's comments. Someone goes, she is pregnant. Not sure if she knows.

And Opie goes, she is. That did cross my mind. It did bind too. And Opie goes, she is 99% not pregnant, not safe for work warning. We use condoms. And on top of that, I always pull out and she finishes me off. I know that neither method, especially pulling out is 100% effective. But when you combine both, the chances are close to zero. I will keep that in mind, but I'm pretty sure she's not.

And I will say, I saw a really cute video the other day of this woman in bed and her partner went and got her Culver's. She's pregnant.

by the way. He went and got her Culver's, like a butter burger, and she was so excited about it. And then she opens it up and she starts crying. She's like, I don't want Culver's anymore. I want, like, she wanted something really weird. It was like cottage cheese and ranch or something random. And she's like, but I want the homemade ranch. And so he goes to the kitchen and

takes the culvers away, goes to the kitchen, makes her ranch. So that's why I was like, maybe she's pregnant. All right. If there's a medical condition that can explain the hormonal imbalance that's going on here, then that's the only, that's the second reason why. Do you remember when I, so I live and die by IUDs. I think they're fantastic. They're not for everybody, but they're for me.

Okay. However, there was one point in time where I was having some extra, this is after I had an IUD and I basically had spotting. Okay. That's a nice way to say it.

So I had some spotting that would not stop, right? And so I went and I saw my provider and I was prescribed oral birth control pills. And I had never actually taken oral birth control pills before because I'd always done IUDs or NuvaRing or et cetera, what have you. And they messed with my emotions so bad. Oh, my God. Birth control makes me nuts. They made me so irritable. Yeah. So anxious. So angry.

like... Birth control makes me want to die. Moody. Yeah. Moody. Like...

They absolutely did. I suffered through it for a while because I wanted to thin out the uterine lining, you know, make the spotting stop, et cetera. So I stopped it for a while and then it hadn't stopped. And so I was like, okay, well, I'm going to restart it and try it. And Matt, do you remember that day where we were legit in this kitchen and I snapped at you about something, something so small and so minuscule and you stopped?

And you looked at me and went, you restart those pills again? And I go, yes. He just knew.

But it doesn't matter because you did something wrong. No, no. So, I mean, yes, there can be some legit medical thing. Maybe she went down oral birth control pills and she's just not feeling herself. That is a possibility. Maybe it could be pregnancy or, you know, maybe it's something else that we don't know about that. It's like the other thing that we just don't have this information. It doesn't just have to be women's hormones, which I think also can be very highly like stereotypical.

Stereotyped. Oh, for sure. And unfair. For me, the shoe fits. Like this past week, it's Shark Week right now, and I've just been a fucking mess. But not everyone is affected so heavily. You guys are going to laugh. When you call it Shark Week, I was like, who gets emotional about Shark Week? It's the best time of year. It's one week of TV full of sharks. I didn't know what you were talking about.

Now you get it, buddy. I call it Shark Week. Now you get it. Yeah, you're kind of looking at me funny. I'm like, I didn't put two and two together that you didn't get. Jack loves Shark Week on Discovery Channel. I mean,

That's great. Now he's going to think about periods every time. Got it. Anywho. Moving on. What's the more info? So is there anything else going on in her life right now? Someone asked. Are things in the relationship otherwise good in general? OP responds, I would say we're fine. She's been stressed about work lately quite a lot, I would say. She has a lot of new duties and does OT pretty much daily.

daily. The first week of January is also going to be quite tough on her.

Which work alone can just, it bleeds into so many other areas of your life. Like I was just talking to someone the other day who works in medicine and they were talking about how they had to switch departments because the department they were previously in just didn't make them go home to their partner very happy. It affected their relationship. Sure. And so they switched departments. Better work-life balance, happier, happier life at home.

And sometimes that work can just, I mean, we're spending half of our time there. It can eat at us. It can bleed into everything else. So he needs to ask the question, are you crying and mad about the cheese or is there something else that's truly bothering you? And if it comes back, that's only about the cheese. He needs out.

Well, we do have a little more. So someone goes, she probably is just stressed out about all the other things the other comments have suggested. They go on, they go on, they go on. They do have another paragraph that says, judging by how she seems upset with you specifically, it wouldn't surprise me if you're leaving out a ton of details.

Maybe she's upset because you frequently make these sorts of careless mistakes. I don't know how many times I've sent men to get groceries and had them come back with the wrong shit and ruin dinner plans. Just a possibility. Stupid men. You won't find out until you talk with her when she's calmed down. And I will say it's commonly seen. I think maybe you guys don't have it like this, but...

The amount of women I've seen prepare their partners extensive lists, sometimes even including pictures. And then we'll make this video where it's like, I made this list with pictures. Guess who still got a phone call from the store asking which tortilla chips to buy? Well, we've only been buying the same chips for 10 fucking years. You know what I mean? There's some weaponized incompetence that happens a lot of times in relationships. And

I don't know what it is about groceries. It seems to bring it out. But OP responds. Well, there's food for thought. I am a bit forgetful. Even if I have a list, I can sometimes forget something. It's never major things. When making spaghetti, I would never forget the pasta. But I've had situations where I forget something minor. I got the brain of a goldfish. You know, we've all been there.

I like that he's owning up to it. Self-awareness. I like that, but still...

Like if that's your job, be good at your job in the relationship. He goes back and he gets what he forgot. That is good. How can you be mad about that? But does it delay supper by like an hour? He said it was close and close for us is 45 seconds down the road. So I'm going to say it's within five minutes.

It feels close. Close is five minutes. It feels five minutes. Maybe five minutes there. Maybe 30 minutes tops. 15 minutes. All right. Driving, store. Long line, 20. We'll call it 30 with traffic. Yeah. Okay. I don't know. It sounds like he's trying. They use an app.

You know, it seems like he's really trying to do his best. He does have another comment. So someone goes, is she the only one who eats the cheese on the spaghetti? It may have felt like in the moment that she's crazy stressed out, working overtime, still doing household work and has a bad month staring her in the face. And you went and ignored the fact that she's the only one who eats the cheese on spaghetti, i.e. you fulfilled your needs, but not hers.

And Opie goes,

fair, but he did ask and she said no. Miscommunication, misunderstanding, let's move on, let's be adults, it was an accident. Yes, I actually wanted to eat this. It's important to me. My father died while eating this and I want to remember him tonight. Go and get the cheese from the store that's literally right down the block. Go get it, come back, put the cheese on top. I don't need to eat funky leftovers."

I don't know. Just being a dog. It's hard. I think when it feels like World War III and you're having a meltdown, sometimes...

There are exceptions. You get to a point where it's just about the principle and you say, fuck the spaghetti with cheese. And that's why you need to ask, like, is this really about the cheese or is it like my memory and my dementia that, you know, is ruining our relationship? It's time for a serious talk. That's for sure. What's actually wrong? What's the actual problem? It's not the cheese. What's really happening here? Okay. Moving along. I'm going to give you a choice on this next one. They're both...

Kid related. So this first one is titled, am I the asshole for stopping helping my wife with our newborn's night routine because she disrespected me in front of our friends? Or am I the asshole for telling my wife that our lifestyle will drastically change when she starts working again? Positively? No, I feel like he's curious about the second one. I mean, I could go in on both. Like,

The second one is probably less juicy, I would say. Like your lifestyle is gonna change drastically if you start working again and have a second income. Yeah, Bowen. There's no second income. Maybe we get into it. There's no second income? Let's get into this one. I was gonna say, but listen to all the things she's probably doing at home and taking care of at home that you're not gonna be having done. Okay. Just wait. Go ahead. My wife, 32, and I, 36 male, had our baby boy two years ago.

When she got pregnant, we made a deal. She will stay with our boy the first two years, and after that we will swap, and I will be a stay-at-home dad until he starts school. Two years have passed, and I will keep my promise and will be out of my job by the end of July. Just to get that straight right out of the way.

My wife has found a new job, but here's where the problem starts. She will make significantly less money than I did, but she seems to be completely oblivious and in denial about it. Whenever the topic was brought up by me, she just shrugs it off. When I told her today that we have to reduce our running expenses by a good amount, she got angry and accused me of trying to make her feel guilty and miserable. I didn't do any of this."

All I wanted to do was make a mutual decision with my partner regarding our finances. We will have $800 less to spend per month, and that of course means that things will have to change. But again, she does not care and does not want to hear anything about it. She called me an asshole for bringing it up and literally said that I am forbidden about talking about it. She really thinks I want to guilt trip her into staying at home when I already quit my job.

I think she is immature and irresponsible. Am I really the asshole here? Girl, stay home. I wish I could hear her side because I feel like I'd get a completely different story from what we are hearing from his side. It sounds like to me, based on how you read that, like he is because he wanted to get out of the house.

Right away, he wanted to point it out that I am keeping my word. I am quitting my job. I am going to be staying home for the next two years and you are going to go to work. Well, that's fine. But at the same rate, like... Can't have your cake and eat it too. I just think there's some hypocrisy going on here.

where he's trying to then put the blame on her that their financials are going to change. Like this was his decision too. It was both of their decisions. It was apparently a mutual decision that they had made a few years back. And finances are hard. Yes. I hate budget. I hate budget day.

My biweekly budget meetings are horrible in our house. They're so good. I don't like talking about it. I don't want to hear about it. Some people hate that, sticking their head in the sand. I'd rather stick my head in the sand. I like to keep it out of the sand. So anyways, so does he want to keep the same lifestyle? Is that what he's trying to like?

Get at? We have some edits. Let me get a new one for you. Okay. Edit for info. My wife wants to work. I would have been happy to provide for my family until the end of time, but she is just not into being a stay-at-home mom. The agreement was her idea too.

First two years with the mother and then me until our boy can go to school. For the people asking why I brought it up several times, because she refuses to talk about spending cuts. And I don't want to know what would have happened with a unilateral decision. We have to live with our new budget in a few weeks.

Info two, I brought all of these topics up before quitting my job. My wife insisted on our deal. Why are you guys trying to find something to attack me on instead of dealing with the already given information? Because the world of Reddit knows something is missing. It's not adding up. Is it though or is she just a little delusional?

Maybe she doesn't believe in that. The budget needs to change. Maybe she feels like she's got it. Maybe she needs to see it happen in practice. I'll say this. Why is he so dead set on not working? Why doesn't he be like, hey, our budget can't support this, but we can support daycare. Like we'll do daycare for the next two years. We'll both go to work. Or if he's so worried about it, be like, you know what, babe?

I have decided that making that additional $800 a month is more important than me staying home. And I'd like you to continue to raise our son at home as a stay-at-home mom. I don't think any unilateral decision is great. I think they need to really sit down and talk about it. I think that she should be open to discussing the budget. Right.

Right? Having those bi-weekly budget meetings are so fun, right? They really are enlightening and they let you know how bad you did on saving because you're a spender. Ugh, just hurts. Every week. Every other week. Every other week, yeah. I'm a bit of a spender too.

So they should be able to have the conversation. But you're right. Money like hits people differently. People like to stick their head in the sand sometimes. Some people need to like be shown, OK, hey, this is true. We have like zero flexibility in our budget. We are now negative eight hundred dollars. Like now we need to come up with a solution for this. Yeah. Unfortunately, O.P.,

does like comment like have you both sat down with the current budget and identified the actual changes that will need to happen and that's the problem op goes she refuses to do exactly that so it does sound like she's kind of a stick the head in the sand type of budgeter she she doesn't care she thinks that their life can be maintainable maybe when he was working she just had a card and didn't really look at finances she did what she wanted to and that worked for then but

you know, you want this deal and changes are going to have to be made. It's nothing to be ashamed of that you don't want to be a stay-at-home mom. It's fine you're going back to work. But the reality is losing $800 a month is a- It's a lot of money. That's a big change for a lot of people. That's groceries, gas, maybe your car insurance. Like,

That's a decent chunk. And so maybe you don't get your Pilates membership anymore. Maybe you don't get your fun shopping sprees. Something's got to give. No shame, but it's got to give.

Yeah. She should be able to have the conversation about it and come to a budget that works within their means. Does it say what his annual income is? No mention. OP's account has since been deleted. Post has been removed. There's a lot of comments from people like they really did get heated. Some people are asking why stick to the original agreement if it's going to negatively impact finances. Yeah.

And people responded on his behalf and said, because maybe he wants time with his kid. It sounds like they can afford it. It's just a lifestyle change. Why did she stay off work two years when her income was more than daycare?

What a weird take. So people are going to bat fighting and I think finances is tricky. People get up in arms about it. It's hard. Really tricky. You got to find something that works for both of you. Yeah. And I think this is great to not have to put your kid in daycare and they get, you know, both parents for two years. That's really cool. Not everyone has the privilege of doing that. Yeah. So make the adjustment. It's two years, not forever. He'll be in school soon.

But if you can't work through this with your partner and you're just going to shut them down and not talk about it, you've got some issues. Yeah. Have you guys gotten a lot of fights about your budget being a little spender down there? How's that go for you guys? I am the spender in the relationship. I'm the problem. It's me. I'm the problem. It's me. Hi. Hi.

Yeah, I would say fights. I wouldn't say fights just because I knew who you were the moment I married you. And so I knew that this was going to be something that we were going to have to talk about and continue to talk about and come back and talk about it again every single time that our situation changed and our finances changed and our goals changed and our mortgage changed and our daycare bills changed, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. That's why we do it twice a month.

So, you know, I knew who you were as a spender when we got married. So it wasn't something that was surprising to me. I slapped myself on the wrist off and I'm like, dang it, man. You thought you were doing so good. You try to work on it and you do. Here's the difference, though, at least from this story, is that you are very willing to sit down with me and go through the numbers and at least acknowledge where we are and and

make a plan of, okay, with these upcoming two weeks, what can we do better? Where are we going to trim? What are we going to do differently? Or, hey, maybe we did awesome the past two weeks. Great.

I'm scared to tell you that. No, just kidding. But I think that's the difference. I think you just need to keep talking about it. And I have heard of people's relationships where they're like, maybe they grew up and money was always scarce. And so it's like really a triggering thing like, hey, I'm grown up. I don't want to have to –

feel like I don't have enough. Like I work a good job. I don't I don't want to know. I don't want to feel like this is bringing me back to my childhood where there wasn't enough. Like that's it can be a really, really difficult thing for some people. So being able to talk about it is the only way that you're going to be able to master it, though. So communication, as Justin says. You got to. I think this is communicate. I know he's in the other room editing.

But yeah, I think you can't when it comes to big life decisions and changes and budgets when you're sharing an income, basically, you can't ignore it. So I would say he's not the asshole. I think she needed a dose of tough love. Yeah. Just like the toothbrush guy needs. Fair enough. Okay. Next. Here we go. Two left. Two left. We got two left. I'm ready. Two left. Here we go. Two left. Okay. Okay.

We're moving away from Division of Labor a little bit. We're going to have a little spicy ending. So unless you view sex as a household chore, we're done. We're done with chores, Division of Labor, child care. I'm kidding. You're the worst. Things like that. I don't know. Do we have a child care story? I guess we really didn't have a child care. Oh, fuck. Well, I do have another theme coming up for you guys soon.

Next time I come home to record with you called parent problems. So we're going to keep childcare stuff like that. So this is nine hours old. Am I the asshole for not wanting to have sex with my husband right now? I 28 female just gave birth to our second child four weeks ago.

I'm happy in my marriage and have been feeling great postpartum. However, I'm the default parent for the baby since I am exclusively breastfeeding. I get up in the night by myself, change diapers, do naps, tummy time, all the stuff by myself. I'm recovering still from a fully spontaneous vaginal birth. And since I am doing all of the things for the new baby alone, while my husband, 27 male, cares for our oldest,

four female, and does the housework, I don't have much time to shower, do self-care, etc.,

My husband asked me if I could give him a blowjob or a handjob, and I said no. He seemed confused and a little hurt, not angry. I feel bad because I did make a face when I said no, and I didn't mean to, but after 24-7 nonstop newborn care, leaky boobs, vaginal bleeding, etc., the last thing I'm worried about is getting him off.

I feel terrible because the last time we had sex was about two months ago. We just have so much going on. I genuinely do not have it in me to have my face fucked or to give a handjob when I'm barely sleeping and showering appropriately. Am I the asshole? No. 100%. No. Absolutely not. Here's the kid stuff. Here we go. There we go. And if anybody needs to hear this, because I think that there's a lot of women who do need to hear this, it is not...

your fault or your job at this point in your life no not the asshole no never ever negatives five million the asshole four months too this is so fresh no four weeks four weeks you're not even allowed to have sex per your ob until you're six weeks so i was gonna say this like it's kind of sad that we're having like this conversation about this topic like

legit, like even the doctor is going to say, yeah, you have to wait at least six weeks, typically, right? At least. And granted, he wasn't asking for intercourse. He was asking for a blowjob or a handjob. So like pointing that out, but still, man, that's effort. And that's... And I guess like her making the face and like, honestly, you're not the asshole, but just explain to your husband if he wasn't mad about that, sounds like he's going to be

understanding and you can just have the conversation with like, hey, I'm doing a lot right now. I have a lot of body changes and a lot of things going on and I just cannot put myself in that mind state right now to get there. And that from an understanding husband's perspective, I would understand. I wouldn't hold it against you. I wouldn't be mad at you. Like,

It's ridiculous. Very good. And you probably answered it very much more kindly than I did, but I just put myself back in

In like that mindset of like having a newborn and bleeding from my vagina and having milk leaking everywhere and hurting and having pain from my vagina, having pain in my breasts, like and having this little baby who's not sleeping and you're not sleeping and you're trying the best you can. And your other child is probably like wanting mom and everything.

and like so many and the house is a mess and you're trying the best you can to keep up and do everything and then

And then that just aspect of your life, which may be a wonderful aspect of your life, it just might not be the most important at that minute. Yeah. And so you would hope to God that your partner would be understanding and would give you some grace and be like, yeah, I get it. Maybe go take a nap and let me do this next diaper change or something like that. Yeah. And I know everyone has different levels of support. Yeah.

you know, my mom and grandma and your mom and your family were helpful with other kids. But like, is this coming from people that have two kids? Is it normal for her to be doing every single thing related to the baby on her own? Because for me, I'm hearing this even and I'm like, a four-year-old is easier than a newborn.

household chores seem easier than responding to a baby nonstop. Like it seems like he could still take the baby for naps or tummy time while she gets some self-care. Like even though, yeah, he's doing the housework and all of the care for the oldest, you know, the four-year-old, it seems like it still isn't like ideal. And maybe you guys can pipe in on that. Like

How did you navigate that? I guess when it's that early, like I would wake up and I would go get... The kids slept in our room too at that point in time. Like I would wake up and like go sit with...

You and like while you breastfed for a while, but at the same way, like she was also like she was not working and I was like, I only got four days off. The brunt of the. Yes, total. Like that was your paternity leave. So sad. Four half days. Oh, my God. So get it together.

So a lot and a lot of it that we did was a little bit of divide and conquer. Like that part doesn't seem too ridiculous to me because that infant, especially if you're breastfeeding, it's tied to mom heavily. Yeah. Babies. Yeah.

Um, there's definitely things that dad can be helping out with, you know, diaper changes and changing and so forth. But especially with the nursing part, I mean, that is another full-time job. Like you say, well, you know, there, she's not working while she's working, but just in a different way, it's just unpaid labor. And, um, yeah. So helping with the four-year-old, uh,

especially a four-year-old who's adjusting to a new baby in the home, that might also be quite the job to do too in a different way. I mean, he's not bleeding from a vagina or, you know, adjusting to all the hormones that are fluctuating. And so he has a little bit more stability probably in those different ways. Yeah. But, and I think people do it different ways. I

For us, though, I think that we did kind of divide and conquer as far as I took on Emma and you took on Eloise a lot when our second was born. Yeah. Yep. Totally. So and that just kind of how the cards fell.

So him being understanding of where he's at, that's what I just really hope that he would be. And it could just be that he was like, oh, hey, I didn't feel like this would be a big deal and I miss you. Yeah. And I miss our relationship and I miss what we had because we are in the throes of it and I'm searching for some connection here. Yeah. And so it could be that. And maybe he's just like, hey, throwing it out there, shooting a shot. But I just hope that he doesn't make her feel...

Like that is another thing to do. Like, I feel like that's where the eye roll would come in. Like, oh my God, I have to take care of one more thing. It'd be tough. It'd be tough. I can't even imagine this like an exclusively breastfeeding. Like I, God, I hope like whatever kid I have, please take a bottle. Just take a bottle.

I just like Justin's. I got to be split. It's got to be split. I just saw a quote from Dakota Johnson and she's like, I sleep 11 hours a day. I prioritize my sleep over everything. And that is me. I need sleep or I will literally go crazy. I just can't do it. So I know not every baby takes a bottle. I know not every person wants to use bottles, but

God damn, I hope whatever kid I have just take a fucking bottle. And looking back, we talked about this recently. Looking back, we are like, I remember saying, you know, I'm okay with the baby getting up three times a night, but it's like four times a night when I was working. Well, you know, when I had gone back to work, like four times a night is too much. Three times a night I can do, but four times a night is too much. And now we sleep pretty well.

And if I get up once a night, I'm like ruined for the next day. So it's insane how... Your body and mind. You adapt. You do adapt and you... Your brain is a supercomputer. You're able to do things that you never thought previously that you'd be able to do. So...

I don't know, you guys. I don't know if I have it in me. My brain's not a supercomputer. Such a short period of your life. I'm a Toshiba from like 2004. I'm not a MacBook Pro 2023. At the end of the day, they're a lot of fucking work and it's hard, but they're the best.

And that's hard to explain for somebody who doesn't have it, but they suck, but damn, they're good.

They get their heads stuck in couches. Oh, my God. Yeah. Emmett, the little one that interrupted earlier, he got his head stuck in a couch over Christmas. A recliner that has a metal bar that goes up and down, basically like a guillotine. And so there was quite the fiasco getting him unstuck. We got him unstuck. All is well. But damn. I think I'm traumatized more than he is. Is that the mood for the night?

Yeah. Overall vote though, so far, I think is very obvious on this one. Not the asshole. Okay. Not the asshole. Top comment, not the asshole. He has a hand for himself. Four weeks is barely enough to heal or be in any routine. Even when giving a blowjob or handjob, both should enjoy. And someone goes this, both should enjoy it. I agree. Consent should be enthusiastic. Otherwise, it's not consent.

I like that. Yep. I do too. Get him a jar of coconut oil. It will make his hand feel magical. Tell him to use the other hand that he doesn't usually use. Coconut oil. You know, I've also heard if guys, if you sit on your hand for a while. Oh, the sleeper. The sleeper. Yeah. You sit on it. What? It's from the movie with, uh, Freddie Prince jr. Yeah. Um, and then it feels like it's not your own pitch. Perfect. Um,

Like until it falls asleep? Definitely not Scooby-Doo. That's Freddie Prinze Jr., but he's in a baseball movie. Summer Catch? I don't know. I'm not sure, but they talk about it in there. Yeah, there's tricks and honestly, coconut oil. It's magical. But yeah, not the asshole.

One last one for us. Okay. We are getting real juicy with this one. Real juicy. Not related to anything we've talked about tonight. But, you know, we got to have one really, really good one. All right. Here we go. 12 hours old. Titled, Am I the Asshole for Kicking My Husband Out?

I, female 27, and my husband, male 29, have been together since high school, and he has this friend, female 28, that I'll call Lily. They never really hang out, and she is engaged, so I never thought anything of it. My husband and I have a six-year-old daughter, and she is my pride and joy.

One day, my daughter had this sleepover at her friend's house, and I went to talk with the mom because she was cool, and we ended up drinking wine and talking all night. I ended up falling asleep, leaving my husband home alone.

A few weeks later, I come home from work and he and Lily are on the sofa waiting for me. My husband kisses me and says that he loves me. Then Lily says that she is pregnant. I asked her how far along and she said about four weeks. I, being the idiot I am, asked if her fiance knew. She said no because it wasn't his child. I got confused. Then my husband started apologizing.

Whenever I'm upset, I tend to get violent. I pushed him to the floor and yelled for him to pack his stuff, but he wanted to explain. Apparently, he felt alone that night that I went and had that sleepover. So Lily came over to watch a movie. She started talking about how her fiance couldn't meet her needs, and then she approached him, and they slept together. I then went upstairs and started packing his things, and he begged and pleaded with me. I kept saying, how could you?

I thought you loved me and stuff all along those lines, and he kept trying to hug me as I started crying hard. I felt betrayed because I loved this man. He was the man of my dreams, and yet he cheated on me. After I got myself together, he told me to take my time and think about all of our good times, and he said it was a mistake and that he will never make it again, and that I'm the woman he wants, not her, and stuff along those lines."

But I told him I wanted him to leave and that I'd call him if I wanted to make up. And he got angry but said, fine, you're making a huge mistake. You know we need each other. I spent the last few days missing him a lot. He came over for Christmas and gave me gifts and our daughter gifts. And I still love him and I want to forgive him, but I don't trust him anymore.

Over the time we separated, we have hooked up multiple times because he'd come over and hug me and stuff and it would just happen. Should I forgive him or should I just end it and get over it? It's been two months since he left and he is sleeping at his parents' house.

Unfortunately, Lily did have a miscarriage, but he didn't talk to her. I only found out from her fiance because she told him she was pregnant and so on. Also, only his parents and Lily know my husband and I are going through it right now. Also, sorry for the bad grammar and title. You don't know what my pet peeve is. People asking if they're the asshole when they're clearly not. It's not. Here's my pet peeve. My pet peeve is when people who cheat...

Somehow turn it around and be like, but it's your fault that you weren't there that night. I was lonely. I was lonely. It was lonely. It's your fault that I cheated. I accidentally stuck my dick in Lily because you were gone one night. She just couldn't be satisfied by her fiance and I felt very obligated for all of the men of the world. And she magically got pregnant after just one night. Bullshit. Pet peeve. Wow.

Yeah. Got some feelings about that. It's definitely not her fault. And she's not the asshole. No, no, no. Kick him out. The blame. Kick the fucker out. And that's fine. Right? Like there's clearly some, his excuse of like, again, to your point, like it was just that one night. It was this, like I was lonely because you didn't come home. Like there's something more going on there.

that needs to be addressed. Something's fishy there. I don't like it. So you're not the asshole. Kick him out. At the end of the day, like you don't need to trust him. At least, you know, not right away. Like trust is built and that trust is broken. So ultimately you need to decide like, am I going to give this person that I love or did love or whatnot? Am I going to give him another shot? Am I going to try it?

Can I get to the place where I can move past what transpired? Um, and that's hard to do. I would imagine like, yeah, it makes it more complicated when you have kids for sure. And, um,

That sucks. That's a shitty thing. Yeah, it does. And I, yeah, I, I feel really bad for her and anybody who's been in her situation. And really, honestly, only she is the one who knows if she can move on from this situation and heal or not. And that is her decision to make. If she really feels like, you know, I really love him and I think that we can work through this and move on and grow together, then I,

Absolutely go for it. I highly recommend getting a couples counselor and working through things together. He absolutely needs to acknowledge his wrongdoing and, um,

you know, not be not say, oh, it's because you were gone and I was lonely. Like, OK, I hate to break it to you, but in a marriage, there's probably going to be quite a few nights where like, you know, somebody who's on a trip or something and you still need to be able to trust your partner that they're going to remain faithful to you, even if you're not there. And then not be maybe I'm reading this wrong, but is it manipulative of him to be like,

you know you need me, you can't. I felt like that too. Putting myself in his shoes, holy hell, I fucked up. I'm trying everything I can to make it work and it's frustrating that you did this, but to then go back and be like, well, you know you need me, you have to stay with me. That's not the right answer. You need to own the mistake. It feels a little abusive. I don't know if it's like,

It's not necessarily the initial reason of him being like, well, I was lonely and flipping the blame. That feels gaslighting. But that just feels like emotionally abusive. And like she's reeling. There's a lot going on. Your friend's pregnant, like all this shit like that just, oh, it's just toxic. And I would say like if there's any hope of like truly coming back together in a healthy way,

At least for me, I don't think that if you're sorting through things, taking a break, especially after someone cheated, I don't think you should continue to hook up with them. Be good co-parents. Keep your communication really... Right.

good but give yourself a break like you don't reward him for bad behavior he gets to cheat on you and still have you no he's got to earn you back he's got to earn that trust back I just don't like I'm like don't don't give him the little honey pot keep him out of the pot Winnie the Pooh go away

I don't know. And some people would say that's manipulative. Like you're using sex like as a mechanism. I can see how it's easy to fall into that. Say like, we're not going to do it. And then it's easy when you have all this adrenaline running, like because there is such turmoil in that relationship. I mean, like you're,

Feeling a lot of emotions. I can see... I mean, hate sex too. I can see how it would happen. But yes, making that decision to kind of put up those walls and boundaries while you're figuring stuff out. One other thing, like this is...

like an advice that I would put out to everybody is that no matter what relationship you're in, you never want to be in a relationship because you can't live without the other person. I feel like that is a very highly romanticized, like,

movie plot or book plot that is honestly kind of toxic. It is. And I think it should honestly be the opposite. Matt, I could absolutely live without you 100 days of my life. However, I would never want to. I want to choose you every day. I want to be with you every day. But I...

I value myself and I know I am cool enough. Just kidding. That I, that I don't need you. I choose you and I want you. I agree. And so I, I think that that is especially for like our younger listeners. Don't don't because that's when you feel stuck in a relationship and that's when you settle for things that are beneath you and settle for things that you're worth more than and,

So don't stay in a relationship because you can't live without your partner. Stay in the relationship because you want your partner. Yeah, absolutely. That's how I feel about Justin. That's literally that quote came into my head. So I agree. Top comment on this one. Your husband couldn't go one night alone without having sex with someone else.

Do not go back there. Also tell Lily's poor fiancé he deserves the truth. And honestly, both you and the fiancé should get an STD test as they both fell into sex just this one time far too easily. The thing about it is they've been hooking up way longer than that one time. I think so. You don't just...

You don't just accidentally come over to watch. Like, no, no, no. That doesn't happen. And if it does, then seriously, fuck him. But I'm a little suspicious. Would you tell the... Oh, yeah. The partner? I'm a rat. Yeah? If it was truly platonic, right? Like, wouldn't she have known that, oh, hey, Lily came over last night. Like, you were gone. We hung out. We watched Guardians of the Galaxy. We watched...

hijack on Apple TV. It's fishy. Four weeks later, they sit them down together. That's a real early to know you're pregnant. Yeah, I miss that period. Maybe she's lying. Maybe she thought he would leave his wife. Who knows? Either way, it's fishy. It's wrong. It's suspicious. And you're not the asshole.

That's all I got for us here. That was fun. Thank you for coming on. Where can people follow you guys so they know when your podcast comes out and they can make sure they're ready to go? Coming soon. We're just waiting on some of the technical things, graphics, songs, things of that nature. But Midwest Married.

At Midwest Married on Instagram. It's coming to you. It's coming soon. It's coming soon. All right. Going to be good. It's going to be fun. Early January. It's coming. It's coming. All right. Here we go. Thank you guys for another amazing episode. I cannot wait to see what this year has in store for us. Be sure to comment whatever people you'd like to see come on the pod, whatever episode themes. And thank you to Heineken00 for being one of our partners.

Bye, guys. Bye, guys.