152: Might Be Their First Rodeo.. Ft. Hannah Berner
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I'm having a hot flash. You're also wearing a leather coat. I know, I look like Neo or whatever the Matrix person is. I love it. I'm having regrets about everything. I mean, if you take it off, you'll look good too. I might have to. Take it off. You also have... You're literally overheating yourself. You have a blanket. You have 70 layers. I gotta find my charger. It's just, you know, it's a shit show. Which makes sense for the whole theme I have for you today. Oh, I'm so excited. So...

Welcome back, Hannah Byrne! - This is my home, this is my second home. Thank you for having me. I love talking about potential assholes. - Oh my God, so I was trying to come up with a theme for Hannah and I was like, the only thing that could come to mind for me is like, this isn't your first rodeo because you've been on Two Hot Takes now, this is your third time. But it might be my first rodeo because I showed up to the studio yesterday

thinking we were recording and you know we had a 7 p.m start time and I text Hannah you know seven o'clock and I'm like let me know when you're here and you said it's tomorrow right because I have a live show tonight and I go you are absolutely correct you ever get that text from someone and they're like where are you and immediately your heart is in your butthole and

And I was scared and I assumed it was my fault. And then I looked back at the messages and I'm like, no, I think it was her fault. But then I'm a woman, so I have to say sorry. And I'm like, I'm so sorry. I think it's tomorrow. And then you go, I am so sorry. And I go, no, I am sorry. And then you're like, I'm sorry. But I am sorry that you came here and you were waiting. But I'm happy that we were making it happen today. I needed to meet my friend Carrie to do some stuff, so it's totally fine. But I'm just like, I'm feeling very...

Out of sorts lately. Is mercury in Gatorade? It might be. Maybe. It might be. I think I need to like. That's the only reason. I'm having like a burnout moment, which I don't know how you do it. Like you are on tour nonstop. Well, I joke that I'm not necessarily a hard worker. I'm just running from my thoughts. I'd rather be working than like sitting and like reflecting on my purpose and my life. But I will burn out weekly. And then I have like full days.

rotten bed days like just doing nothing and they're so important yeah I'm also like I'm either 150 or like out for the count I don't really have an in-between I think some people function healthily without mental illness like just always at 50 and what is that life how I'm just like I'm literally like padded room level I think

I'm not kidding. Like, I need to go... How peaceful would a padded room sound right now? Ideal. I feel like we should have spas that are padded rooms. We should. I don't want to get a massage. I want someone to be, like, sitting there for three hours and don't say a word. I want that for three hours and then a massage on hour four. True. Okay, I like this business we're building. Yeah, this is like a side hustle. Yeah, girls don't always need, like, a six...

day vacation to Mexico. It's like, give me like a mental health retreat. - That's what I need. - Yeah. - Mental health retreat. - Yeah. - Okay, well let's get into this. Are you ready? - This is our mental health retreat. - This is gonna help. - Let's go. - Okay, here we go. Let's dive in. Okay, starting off first, a little strong. This is two days old, titled, "Am I the asshole for refusing to do a portrait for my boyfriend, leaving him without a wedding gift?"

I do digital portraits, mostly as a hobby, but I've gotten a few commissions here and there. A while ago, my boyfriend and I were hanging out with mutual friends, and my boyfriend suggested in front of everyone that I do a portrait as a gift for someone's upcoming birthday. While it was a little annoying to be volunteered by him, I did think it was a good idea and went ahead and did it. The next time a birthday in the group came up, my boyfriend made the same suggestion. And as a result, quote, the birthday portrait has kind of become my thing.

My boyfriend will get something small as his gift since he views the portrait as being from us. The part where I may be the asshole is that I haven't told him explicitly to stop volunteering me for these portraits. It is my fault for going along with the birthday thing for our friends without saying anything, but I kind of assumed that he would at least keep these requests within the realm of common sense.

Well, his college buddy is getting married, and my boyfriend told him that I would make him a portrait of him and his bride as a wedding gift. I have never even met this person. To make matters worse, he apparently made this promise weeks ago, but only told me about it today, and the wedding is this Saturday.

Four day notice. I finally lost it at him and told him that I'm not his personal portrait sweatshop and that he only does this because he's a cheapskate and it gets him out of spending any money on a gift, even though it costs me a lot of time. He argued back that a bespoke portrait is so much better than just buying something off of the registry, that it's a generous thing for me to do. It helps build my portfolio and that I don't get very many paid commissions anyways.

For the record, I don't get many paid commissions because I don't charge peanuts for them. I have a full-time job, so I price according to what it would be worth giving up that amount of free time that it takes me. He told me that I put him in a really difficult position, that he hyped up the portrait, and they were both really looking forward to it. He said, please just do this one and I won't ask again. I said, no, I don't even know these people, so this is not my problem.

He looked up a couple of portrait artists online, but none of them were willing to do the piece on a short turnaround he needed at the quality he wanted and at a price he was willing to pay. He even tried using an AI image generator, which was a complete slap in the face to me as an artist. But all of the outputs were very obviously AI. He's begging me to just please do this one and he will make it up to me on my birthday.

But especially after he apparently thought my work was so worthless that it could be effortlessly reproduced by a machine. I'm just really not in the mood. Wow. It escalated. He started digging that hole. He could have just been like, babe, I'll pay you. I was about to say. I'll pay you. Be like, I'll pay you for your work since this is super inconvenient. You're right. You can't. It's hard for you. Yeah, you're right. This is the last time I'll ask. Let me just pay you, please. I get it.

I get it. I feel like it started where like, I didn't think either was the asshole. I was like, he's proud of her. He likes her stuff. He also low key likes not having to buy anything. Yeah. And then she was doing it and kind of worked out. But at one point I think she should have communicated to him like, can you just not promise people things without talking to me first? Yeah. Cause I've definitely been in that situation with family where people would be like,

oh, I promised like 10 people tickets to something. And I'm like, okay, you have to ask me first. And then I'm an asshole because I can't get it. And they're like, you're putting me in a bad position. I'm like, I never agreed to even be in this position. So I get how she feels 100%. But she should have had a little more boundaries with it. But it's weird with your significant other because it's fun to be like, yeah, we're getting this and he likes what I'm doing. But this whole last thing, the AI shit is wild. Um,

you literally thought you were going to create it yourself using AI versus just get down on your hands and knees and beg. Here's a pencil. Figure it out, sir. It's so funny. Like sometimes, and this is a people thing in general. I don't think it's sex specific. Sometimes it is, but like people will go through such extreme lengths versus just being like, I'm sorry, you're right. Will you help me? Yeah. Like,

Yeah, because she clearly could do it. It would suck, but she would do it in a short turnaround. But she felt disrespected and not heard. So it's like... And him being like, this is the last time. That's also a lie. Yeah. Let's be honest. That's also a lie. They need a new organization with it. Yeah. But he was kind of gaslighting her, being like, it's good for your portfolio. How? I've done enough birthday ones now. I think my portfolio is pretty stacked. Come on. Come on. Also, like...

he could get something in the meantime and then she does it later. Like there are ways to get over this, but I definitely think this is one of those things that if you don't communicate it early on, it will spiral and become like so much more complicated later. Or you'll snap and they'll be like, whoa, you're fucking crazy. And you're like, this has been months of disrespect. And they're like, I had no idea. I really thought you enjoyed this. Me, every day. Yeah.

this is why it's like you're afraid of a little confrontation but then it gets so much worse if you hold it in and it's just bubbling and finally you're like this is so you this is so everything you do all the time and they're like I don't even know you who is this crazy woman that's just Morgan having a bad day it's just girlhood well I literally such a tangent I just saw something the other day where she was like I wanted to kill myself once a month I just realized I was getting my period and I'm like

Oh, that's what that is. It's real. You're like, suddenly the world doesn't make sense and I'm lonely and scared and there's no purpose. And then I'm like,

Oh, tampon time. There we go. Yeah. So this was definitely her first rodeo drawing a boundary. Yeah. You know, everyone's got to get there. They always say, you know, people can't read your mind, which is true. Yeah. Which is true. And yeah, I don't think anyone needs to break up, but I do think better communication will be helpful for these people. And I don't think they're assholes. No. I have a hard time dating cheapskates, though.

True. Like that would drive me nuts. Like I also have a hard time dating people who are too wild with their money. Like if I feel like they're bad at just spending and they're being dumb about it, it gives me anxiety because I'm like, what's

Are we going to be bankrupt tomorrow? Like, I don't I like people being like in the middle. Am I cheap? Does that mean I'm the cheap one? No, I'm I would say I want someone who's good with their money. Yes. Yeah. Like responsible. Yeah. Like, don't spend it wastefully. I'm very frugal. Yeah, I'm frugal. I'm frugal. I'm frugal.

I have a scarcity mindset with money. But it is hot when someone is like generous with their money. That. But if they're just like, oh, I stopped by the store and I bought all this shit. I thought it was shiny. I'm like, oh, I don't like that. Literally, my dad, he'll show up and like he doesn't have a lot of money to spend and he'll show up with like $180 worth of shit from Marshalls that like we don't need. And I'm like,

Can you just bring it back? You're stressing me out. Yeah. And more stuff does give me more anxiety. You think it'll bring happiness and then you're like, why do I have so much stuff in my apartment? Literally, I'm purging right now. Yeah. So it's a thin line, but I don't love when you don't want to feel taken advantage of monetarily by your fucking boyfriend. No.

Top comment, not the asshole. It would be one thing if he gave you a month's notice. I suspect that he had a hunch you wouldn't want to do a portrait for someone you don't know and haven't even met. That's likely why he sprang it on you last minute. He's procrastinating. So that you felt like you couldn't say no.

He can go buy another present and apologize to his friend. The fact that he's trying to twist your arm to get you to do this rather than taking responsibility for his poor planning and rude assumptions is absolutely his problem. I would not back down, even if he won't let this go. I would seriously take a look at this relationship and evaluate how often he has devalued you and taken advantage of you at the same time. Ooh, this person went in. They were like, divorce. Done. Done. Burn him at the stake. I mean...

If it's flowing in other areas, yeah. But I think OP kind of did recognize like, I didn't necessarily tell him I had a problem with it. Yeah. And it's kind of one of those things where you do it once. Some people are goofy and assume that it's okay to offer you up.

as portrait sacrifice again and again. Yeah. This guy definitely was like, we're going to get a portrait and I'm going to try to figure it out. We're like, calm down. I don't know any couple that's like, if I don't get a portrait, my wedding is not worth it. Like there's so many, get them pots and pans like a normal person. Or like,

Or like do it after. Say, hey, your gift is going to be a portrait from someone. Pick one of your wedding photos that you love and I'll have it made. Yes, that's great. Better. Even better. Also, I'm not going to freak out over not getting a homemade thing by someone I don't even know. Yeah. Like I get it if it's like my grandpa made it, you know, this is not one of those situations. No, not at all. Moving along.

Okay. How do you feel about dogs? I love dogs. What about dogs going on vacation with you?

It's a lot of admin. Admin is the best word I think you could have used for that. Because like having a dog is like having a child. I do know like really famous people will have like dog handlers. How do I get that job? No, right? Oh my God. They will have people that are just like in charge of the dog and the travel, the dog, making sure the dog is handled the whole time. You can pay for anything, I think.

What the fuck? I got in the wrong business. Dog handler sounds fun as fuck. You're like just me and the dog in the private jet. Down. You're like, dog, are you hungry? I'm hungry. I just saw a TikTok for a puppy deliver person. She just flies around with puppies and delivers them to their new home. Oh my God. She's like a puppy babysitter. She goes and picks it up in one city and flies it to another. We're in the wrong profession. We fucked up. We fucked up. Now we're just reading Reddit. What the fuck is this?

Just kidding. I love you guys. We love, no, are you kidding me? This isn't a job. It's a privilege. It's a privilege. Okay, so this one is titled, am I the asshole for not wanting my boyfriend to bring his husky on vacation with us? That's a huge dog. That's a huge dog.

That's a human. Yep. My 34 female boyfriend, 35 male, and I have been together one and a half years, and he has a nine-year-old husky. I've been trying to plan a getaway slash vacation together since we started dating. At first, every time I would mention going away, he would either want to bring his dog with him or tell me he can't put her in a kennel or dog sitter, etc., because she wasn't spayed.

She was finally spayed nine months ago. I will be honest. I can't stand his dog. She doesn't listen ever unless you raise your voice at her, which he deals with. She doesn't eat her food and will let herself starve for X, Y, Z reason.

She runs away every chance she gets when let out. She will run away while next to her. She is horrible to walk. She pulls like there's no tomorrow. She also tries to jump on people in the street and run after dogs, cats, squirrels, etc. She jumps on you when you come in. Will sit on you if you let her on the bed or couch. So I no longer allow her on my bed.

You can't crate her because she's destroys the crate. You also can't have doors closed because she has destroyed door frames for all these reasons. I refuse to have her come with us anywhere, anywhere on vacation. I would break up with him over this dog. Oh, for sure. One of my exes had this like little Yorkshire rat dog and the

the dog would just nonstop bark and like hate it when I was with him. And whenever I was alone, I'd be like, I don't, I don't love you like he does. I'll put you in the fucking closet. Like this dog was so like, and with nip and just like would not shut the fuck, like we were watching TV and the dog would bark for like,

10 minutes and I'd be like, are we going to do something? And it's not hot when your boyfriend's just yelling at an animal. I'm like, this, is this the relationship? Whenever we hang out, just you yelling at your dog. Such an ick. Such an ick. Anyway, sorry. Continue. To me, that is not a vacation. It will not be relaxing. We will prevent ourselves from doing things and she may destroy an Airbnb or hotel room if left alone.

He, however, wants to do a pet-friendly vacation. He has no family or friends who could watch her, so the only option would be a kennel. They're available, they just don't want to, let's be honest. They're like, ooh, my grandma's sick. So the only option would be a kennel or dog sitter or some form of that. All of that makes him nervous, and he called me an asshole for not wanting to bring her along.

So am I the asshole for not wanting to take a pet friendly vacation? You know who's the fucking asshole? The dog. This dog has crossed the line so many times. This, I mean, and it's nine. Can't, can't really change this dog overnight. But then also he's the asshole for not fucking training his dog. Yeah. A husky. This thing belongs on a sled team. Yeah.

This dog belongs with the reindeer, with Santa, doing something like that. Delivering presents. And not being a cute pet. Like, what are you going to take to the beach? Like, what vacation? Vacation's for relaxing, not like fighting for your life with your dog. This dog's a terrorist. Wait, no, this dog...

I do have to say I grew up with cats, but I do love dogs. Yeah. And we'd like foster pit bulls and stuff. I know I'm an incredible person, but some some people talk about how much they love their dog. And then when I'm with them, all they do is yell at their dog to like, get off this. Stop eating this. And I'm like, is this fun? Yeah. Or do you just like like saying you have a dog?

I think there are a lot of people that like saying they have a dog. Yeah. And it's something I've noticed. It's like, if you don't take your dog for a walk every day,

I think you're a bad dog owner. Oh, for sure. Your dog should not sit at home all day, every day. No, it's a huge responsibility. You need to give your dog some sort of stimulation and hey, it's raining outside. You can't go for a walk. We were told get a puzzle three to four times a day, depending on the kind of dog. Yeah. Like we would with these people. Yeah. Four times a day. Yeah. Sleep well at night. Like it's a child. And then there's the whole like everyone wants a cute puppy and then puppies are

are crazy. They're humping everything, destroying everything. They're little red peckers everywhere. They're peeing everywhere. Like it's having a toddler. That's why I've always got a cat because I'm not

I don't want to walk a dog three times a day. So out of respect to the dog, I'm getting a lazy ass cat who doesn't care if I live or die. Just kidding. My cat butter loves me so much. Everyone's like yelling at us like the dog slander. I love dogs. I love dogs. I love dogs. But like my dog will be riding. Well, not riding. It'll be walking, but I'll be riding a horse and it's just going to follow me on the trail. Like my dog is going to get plenty of exercise. It's going to watch my chickens in the backyard for me. Like,

I'm not a bad dog owner. Like, I don't know. But this guy, this guy did not put his dog in the proper training. And now you have a problem. You have a problem. And now like it's leaking into your relationship. Yeah. Also, it's giving like you're prioritizing your dog who has issues and you're bringing the issues into this. Yeah. Yeah.

My thing with dogs too, now that I'm on a dog rant, some dogs, I feel like they're so nice that like I could kidnap the dog right now and the dog would be so happy. And that's why sometimes I do like love my cat so much because she loves me.

And now it took eight months, but now she loves my husband. Like, it took time for trust. But, like, if someone kidnapped her, she'd be like, I'd rather, like, jump off this apartment complex. She's loyal. Than be with you. So sometimes these... Maybe this dog...

I don't know. He can just be with her. Like go date your fucking crazy dog. That's like the thing. And leave me out of it. You got to find someone who matches your level. It's part, you are dating into a family and there is a dog that is unhinged. Well, and it's like, how long can you stick this out? Like, I know the dog is nine, but like, do you really want to have this be your life? She's Googling like how long is a husky's life cycle?

You know what I mean? Like not, you don't want the dog to die, but like the girl, like this is your future girl. Yeah. This is, this is your future. This is life. I would be like, I'll pay for the dog sitter.

if that's stressing you out. But again, you don't want him to be mad at you because you forced him not to bring the dog. But then you're mad at him if he brings the dog. So this sounds like maybe do a girl's vacation. Yeah. Get your girls. Yeah, absolutely. Have a bachelorette party. I also feel like for anyone that's like kind of in this boat though of like, I don't trust a dog sitter or like I can't leave her anywhere. One, there's Rover where you can pay people to come stay at your house with your dog. Oh, wow. I didn't know that.

do a practice run. If you want to try a boarding facility while you're in town, go put the Husky at the boarding facility for one night and like do a test run so you can make sure you're comfortable and like your dog is going to like it there. That's good advice because you have to still be able to live your life and like God forbid you have to leave and not have your dog. You want to know that there's a situation that you feel safe with. But also there are a lot of professional places that deal with

difficult dogs and that's their job and at the end of the day you just want to make sure this dog is safe and this dog does not need to be drinking pina coladas with you to be happy no no but it's true imagine i would love a pina colada right now oh i know holy shit imagine you go to dinner and the whole time you're stressed that the dog is tearing up the hotel room that you might have to pay for

Hell no. Goes through the mini bar that's like $500 for chips and you're like, God damn it. That could be thousands. Yeah. One little vodka bottle. The dog could get drunk. And die. Which someone does, someone else in the comments, they got downvoted six points. But someone goes, the dog is nine, a husky, which normally lives 10 to 12 years. So she's a senior and probably only has a few more years left.

So I'm just as deranged as this person. Okay. Um...

She was just stating facts. Yeah. And so someone's like, I think the person is like, he has to pick. And the OP is like, I don't want him to pick. Yeah. I don't want her gone. I want to spend a week away without her. He also walks her two times a day around the block. As much as we can claim he loves her, he didn't buy the appropriate breed for himself. She's inside 23 hours a day.

And it's one of those things that Husky was probably so cute as a baby. They all are. They all are. I was so cute as a baby. Oh my God. What happened to me? Yeah.

No, it's tough. Yeah. I mean, it's clearly acting out because it wasn't given what it needs to thrive. Yeah. And it's like, do you want to have children with that man? Is that too far? No, I think you could go down that. I could go that route. There's a lot you could like analyze. You could argue that everyone should break up with everyone at a certain point. Yeah. We could find a reason. Oh, yeah. Easily. If you want, if he wanted to, he would. Yeah.

So top comment on this one comes from a longtime Siberian Husky lover and former volunteer with a rescue. An expert. An expert. First of all, it sounds as if your boyfriend has not educated himself about this breed. For instance, it's a recipe for disaster that this dog is being left off leash in open areas. Siberian Huskies are runners and will bolt. Yeah.

They have no traffic sense, and so your boyfriend is endangering his dog with his reckless choices. Huskies always should be leashed. On harness, not collar, which they could easily slip. As for you, I understand it can be frustrating to be around a poorly trained, poorly informed husky owner. Still, you do not sound like someone who is suited to be around this breed long term. If your boyfriend is determined to keep his dog, and if he won't educate himself, frankly, the dog would be better off being rehomed by a rescue agent.

You need to think seriously about the suitability of this relationship. You two sound incompatible. Wow, people are wild. Break up. Break up. Break up. I do have to say it's also unsafe for the husky. Like what if he runs or she runs into a dog that is not good with other dogs and she gets bit or something. It's just fair to the dog. That's insane. Also, like as a New Yorker, no dog should ever be off a leash. Right.

They're probably not in a city, but like off leash is like real not cool. Especially when you have a big dog. Oh my God. Even little dogs. I literally was driving down. I was on my way to like the Beverly Center. So like West Hollywood, busy area. And these two little dogs.

run out in front of me no I have to slam my brakes and literally I look down like out my window they are literally just in front of my tire no I got so lucky with my reactions and being on top of it what did the owner do I literally they were like sorry and I go you got really lucky you should put your dogs on a leash what kind of dogs were they like a chihuahua mix

I love little Chihuahua mixes. I'm like, poor things. It's not their fault. No. But like, he literally was almost a pancake. No, that makes me so scared. I just don't like keep your dogs on a leash. Also, they're so little, someone could kick it. That, but even like big dogs, like people, I always get these videos of like dog park or like dog walking trail people. And like, someone's got their dog on a leash and they're recording and another dog like runs up on them. And they're like, can you get your dog? Oh,

Oh no, she's friendly. They're friendly. Mine's not. Mine's not. Come on. Honestly, people get dogs. I think sometimes thinking like it's a toy or it's like a cute doll. And it's like, there's a lot of effort and you have to make sure it's trained and protected and healthy. It's not just getting a cute little play thing. So anyway. Yeah. A lot of comments. A lot of everyone sucks here, including our writer.

Really? Yeah. They're just saying you suck. You're dating the wrong person. Like be realistic. They're saying he sucks. He's a terrible dog owner. Yeah. We've all dated the wrong person. I don't think she's an asshole for that. No. He might be really tall. Also, it feels like she's kind of getting maybe gaslit to kind of ask like this question in the first place. Yeah. Am I the asshole for not wanting to go on vacation with a terrorist of a dog? Yeah. Also, it's one of those things where maybe she's

a lot of things and this is the final straw. Yeah. But imagine their sex life. The dog. Sorry to bring that up, but like, the dog's definitely annoying. Just huskies. Have you heard them yell? Oh my God. Yeah, they like, they speak. They like say words. They'll be like, what are you doing in there? What?

They sing. They sing. I had this one guy where he'd shut the door and the dog would just like slam itself into the door until we opened the door. And then the dog hated if I was like touching him. And I'm like, are you guys dating? What's going on? You've dated a lot of interesting dog people. I know. I know. Well, it's yeah. What is it with these dog boys? I don't know. I don't know. And I love animals. I mean,

I mean, I honestly like fell in love with my husband because he like would train these pit bulls and he like was so caring, but also firm with them. And I was like, if he could handle a pit bull, he can handle me. If he can handle these like former abuse, scared pit bulls, I'm like, maybe he'll love me for my trauma. That's me. He gets me. He's like, sit, stay. Good girl.

Oh, you're one of us. Well, speaking of sex, I got one for us. Uh-oh. Have a question or need how-to advice? Just ask Meta AI.

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Coming from AITAH, am I the asshole for digging in my heels about sex in the prenup? I honestly can't believe I'm asking this, but my boyfriend has gone so mad that I'm feeling a little crazy right now. Both 34, he had a terrible marriage before me that ended up in a dead bedroom, and he's determined to never go back to that life again. Understood. I think that sucked for him to experience.

So now he wants a prenup and literally written in the prenup that we will have sex X amount of times a week or else I get absolutely nothing in the divorce. I'm divorcing him right now. I'd already agreed. I'd already agreed to a 50-50 prenup of marital assets. We keep what we came into the marriage with.

Now, that's not enough for him. He wants me to prove that I won't stop having sex with him in the future. I tell him that I can't prove the future and putting something in writing doesn't prove that. Now he says I must have a guilty conscience if I won't sign these terms. Because if I'm so certain it won't happen, then what's the problem?

But to me, it makes me feel like a sex slave and not a loved wife or partner. This is actually arguably the most fucked up thing I've ever heard in my life. This is really bad. This is making me...

so uncomfortable for so many reasons, but also like if they do stop having sex, then you get a divorce if you want to. You also can have a happy marriage that doesn't involve that much sex maybe. But this is like basically saying like whether you want it or not, we have to have sex or you're not getting money. Just marry an escort then if that's all you care about. - Get a blow up doll. - Also it seems like he's like not over his ex situation.

Well, and it's like, I get you had to go through a divorce and that is really tough. And you, you know, you lost your person in that sense. Like, you know, but a dead bedroom is not that serious. Like, no.

That's the last of the problems. Like you stop fucking because of other reasons. That's for women. Let's unpack that. Yeah. Like a lot of the time people say like, oh, if she starts seeing you like one of the kids that she has to take care of all the time and she sees you and she's looking at your clothes, she stops being sexually attracted to you and then gets annoyed with you. And then she doesn't want you to be the man having sex with her. Like he's thinking like really 2D with this. Like it's almost like,

a little too literal and like black and white. Also, I don't even know if legally that would stand. Like, I feel like a court would look at that as like,

sexual exploitation or something like that. - Yeah. - She should have posted this in legal advice because I'm so curious what the lawyers would have said. - I don't know that stuff at all. Above my pay grade, never came across my desk. - No idea, no idea. - So he's busy saying, if we stop having sex and you want a divorce, then you don't get the money 'cause we weren't having sex. But if she just decides that she wants to divorce him 'cause she hates him, but they're still having sex, then she gets the money.

Yeah. So then it's like, what? That doesn't even make any sense.

No, it's really. Also, I don't like him then like coming for her at the end. I'm over him. You must have a guilty conscience. A guilt about what? No, I'm just not a future teller, bitch. A guilty conscience. No, she's just saying like, I don't like the concept of you only want to stay with me if I'm having sex multiple times a week. What if she travels? What if she gets sick and has like a, I don't know, a health condition like cancer where she's not intimate?

Yeah. What if you have a really big chicken parmesan and then you have food poisoning for three weeks a year? Oh, like what if you're not in the fucking mood? No, that's crazy. The comments are crazier. Really? Someone goes, if sex twice a week is too much to ask, then you should probably just stay single.

- Also, where people who have like-- - Are you okay dude? Like whoever did this? - I'm someone, sex is very healthy to have. But like also with relationships, like there's times where you're like having a lot of sex and then there's times where you're like not. And sometimes like when you're working your ass off, 10, 12 hour days, when you have a really hard day at work and you come home, you're not always in the mood to like,

be sexy or to like get off he can jerk off whenever he wants

I'm blown away by this. There's so many reasons for couples to not have sex that has zero like connection with love and like if their relationship's going well. There's other forms of intimacy. Marriage is when like you're you want to have sex but you're actually too busy. That literally that is my life right now. That is so relationships and it's like I love you I'm so attracted to you I'm

I'm tired and I know I'm going to see you tomorrow. So like we can't get this done right now. No. Send me a Google calendar invite. Sometimes I need that. Yeah. I need to be on schedule. No, this man is projecting his past trauma on her, but it's giving like, yes, escort.

Yeah. Nothing against escorts, but like not for prenups. It's really interesting. And OP does respond to that comment. Who said twice a week? He's talking five times a week. Oh, like a full-time job. Full-time job. Five times a week. What? Oh my God. When...

I hope the sex is like incredible too. Why do I feel like it's definitely very below average? That's what it's giving someone that's this insecure. Yeah. And there's not a mention of how long they've been dating in this original post. And now I'm super curious because it is boyfriend too. It's not fiance. It was boyfriend.

But someone comments, does he even have a lawyer? I would think any legal professional would tell him that such a stipulation is unprovable and in fact undermines the entire prenup. Also, if you want a woman to have sex with you, the last thing you should do is force her to do it. Imagine him being like walk in the room. That has the opposite. We've only had sex three times this week and then being like, oh, perfect. I'm so turned on right now. Clock's ticking, lady. I'm so turned on.

oh oh the fights I would have also it's just like it's one of those things too it reminds me of like a challenge from a like a store or something where it's like shop three times in the next month for an exclusive discount and it's like you already have like there's like you've gone one time but there's only one day left in the month so you clearly can't hit the three if you get five coffees you get one free wait have you you need to do voice acting for like

promos because I just wanted to buy whatever you were selling. That was so charming. You were like, and then you get a discount of 10% up. I've wanted to do Calm, like a Calm sponsorship. Oh my God. Because everyone falls asleep to my voice apparently. Or just create your own sleep app with your voice. People love your pod because it puts them to sleep. Yeah, they listen to it to sleep or clean, which, okay, cleaning check-in guys. We love that. How are you doing on your cleaning today?

Is the vacuuming done? How are the dishes? We're so proud of you. You're doing great. Keep cleaning. Swipe on, swipe off, whatever that is. Swipe on. I don't know how to clean. Wax on, wax off. Mr. Miyagi. Okay. Yeah, this is crazy. And that person is right. I'm Googling if you can put sex in the prenup.

and you could like you definitely could put it in there but a court might look at it as not holding up to public forum yeah and so they would might they might not uphold the prenup entirely I heard a gossip that there was a football player who put in his prenup that she can't weigh over a certain amount yeah I'm like

- Pregnant? Are you counting pregnancy? - Oh no. Okay, do you want something really sad? - Okay. - Have you gotten onto the pookie side of TikTok yet? - I don't think so. - Pookie is looking fire today. I will introduce you after.

But there's like now I like I literally texted Justin. I was like, well, you call me pookie. Like, well, just like warms my little heart. You're cringing right now, but you won't. You'll get it in a second. Later. But people are coming out and they're like, it's not that great as it seems. Like I was an ex bridesmaid and he made her put like plastic surgery in the prenup. And I'm like, oh, so it's a relationship where they're acting cute online. Yeah.

That is the least surprising thing I've ever heard, that a relationship acting cute online is actually horrible. I just feel like I get gaslit every week on TikTok. Whenever people are doing something, you have to be like, what is, why do they need to do this? Like, what are they missing that they're trying to gain from? He just seemed a little socially awkward and I thought it was a cute, happy couple. Do it on your own. Call each other Pookie off camera.

- Damn, you'll get it. - Everything's fake. - I got Pookie a Birkin. I'm just like, fuck. - Oh, ew. Okay, well now I need to research it and get invested. - You, this might be your new bit. This might be your new bit. - Well, that's like the couple that did the, what's it called? The love surge. - Oh my God. It kind of grew on me. I made fun of it at first. - Now I'm like, maybe they're the only ones who are truly in love. - That's what I'm starting to think.

Yeah. But honestly, like couples content, it's the same as like mommy blogger content. You know, those kids are not happy. You know, those relationships are not happy. Imagine just being like, babe, we need to put out another video today. Our last one did not have high engagement. Can you do it again? Oh, talk about not having sex. No. How's it going? Having a podcast with your husband? Oh my, it's, it's not easy. Cause like,

Cause he'll be like, I have to pee. Like we talk, we talk to each other different than you would like, like just a friend. Cause we're so close. Yeah. Um, it is like honestly a good, like excuse to have like a date. Like it's kind of a fun activity to be like, we have to talk. Burn her phone time, baby. Burn her phone, check her burner phone.

The name. Thank you. Come on. I mean, I had to. Iconic. I had, that's the only reason I did the podcast because burner phone's a fun name, but it is like, it does feel like it's not just us. It's like people calling in. So we all got to have a good time. I love it. But we definitely have those moments where we're, we'll just like go into full couple mode where he's like, I thought we were going to talk about that. And I'm like, I thought we were talking about that. And the producer's laughing and we're like, Oh, sorry. We forgot where, where we were, where we were. Just start making out.

That's how we, that's our foreplay. I could see it, honestly. Okay, well this one. Yeah, always. Always. Well, we're really going to sauce you up at the end. You're like, just wait. Hannah has three podcasts. Hannah's going on tour. Hannah has a Netflix special coming. Hannah's tired. I don't know how you do it, girl. I say this every time. I'm just like, I need to curl up in a ball and cry. And here you are doing four podcasts. We'll curl up and cry after this together.

It'll be our bonding moment. No vote on this one yet. It's only 14 hours old. Fresh. But a lot of people are in the comments being like, this is a fairly common prenup stipulation. Shut up. It is really interesting. But it's like, also, don't you want your wife to want to have sex with you? Not just because it's a rule in some contract. It's so not sexy. It's interesting. I understand if you're like,

Maybe promise to have kids because that's like a plan you guys have maybe. Yeah. I don't know. I'm trying to think of really anything that I feel comfortable with. I don't even know what to think anymore. Break up with him. Yeah. It sounds like based on the comments, they did break up. Okay. But got back together. Oh. And now he's coming to terms with he doesn't want to ask or demand things that OP isn't comfortable with.

Okay, that's nice. That's so nice of him. Maybe he's coming around. There is a comment from someone. As someone who has...

slash is in a decade long dead bedroom I can 100% relate with his fears it's way harder on a marriage than it sounds in writing he is terrified but it's also like being just terrified that you're gonna end up with the wrong person that's called life yeah you can't write being like you're stuck to be with me and make love with me all the time and love me forever that's not a prenup no and that would be mentally taxing like I I did have a comment earlier like where I'm like it's not

That serious like yes, it can end your relationship. Yeah, but that just means your relationships done This person isn't right for you anymore. Yeah, there is someone else that is yeah, and also the most beautiful part of relationships is Like sex is one facet of so many parts of what makes a successful marriage Yeah, and sex is sometimes just like it kind of measures where you're at in the real part of it Yeah, so anyway, why doesn't he try talking to her more ask her some questions? Yeah

They need some couples therapy, I would say. I do like that she... What if she responded being like, okay, and you buy me a Birkin every time I have sex with you? Like she could have gone back being crazy. She could have. She could have. Oh my God, what is that movie? It's with Patrick Dempsey, Maid of Honor. And his dad's getting married for another time. And he's on the phone, like his lawyer, his new wife's lawyer. And it's like blowjobs three times a week. And they're writing it in the prenup. Literally, it's in...

That's interesting. And she's like, once a week. And then they go back, deal. So crazy. So maybe this is a real thing. And maybe some relationships are kind of transactional if it's like a money thing.

I mean, there's a lot of sugar baby daddy type stuff out there. And I respect the hustle. Yeah. Get your bag. I just watched the documentary on Anna Nicole Smith. Yes, I watched it twice. That was really interesting to me. It was very interesting. I honestly, I couldn't decide if I thought she actually loved him or not. I feel like a little bit of both. I feel like it was a little bit of both. And I feel like she had a lot of

dysfunctional relationships with people including herself but like that man they did have something special there was something there but I did feel bad for the son who was like dad could we just get a little bit of the trust fund I know you love this girl that you met three years ago but you're 97 oh my gosh it was it was a really intense documentary I know I just it was really really sad at the end it was she was such a she was such a

like interesting shining light and character she was so funny and pretty and yeah side out ended same same with uh Marilyn Monroe who like literally the two could have been like reincarnated like it was like I watched that documentary I watched American Nightmare American Nightmare is so good

- One of the best documentaries I watched in a long time. - Unreal, like so well done. - Unreal and had like a, sometimes you know when documentaries just like don't have an ending or they're like, and we don't know who did it. This one was so like, you went on such a roller coaster and I'm not giving you the ending. - No spoilers. - No spoilers, I would never. But you do feel at the end, like you understand a crazy journey. - Yeah.

I highly recommend it. Watch it. Watch it, you guys. It's so good. Oh, and my final one that people have to watch because I'm very into documentaries is the one about the woman of... What's the cult? With the woman who turns silver and blue.

What? This, it's called, oh my God. Wait, let me Google it. Wait, wait, wait. Is it the Robin Williams thing? Yes. Okay, I saw a clip. It is so good. You guys, everyone has to watch this. It's called Love Has Won. What is it on? It is on HBO and it's about a woman who is led by the spirit of Robin Williams and it is the craziest cult documentary I've watched in a long time. Oh, wow.

- My God. - These recent documentaries have so much footage 'cause everyone was like live streaming and filming the whole time. So like you really feel like you witnessed everything that happened. - Holy shit. - So if you're into cults and that kind of stuff. - It's on my list. - Yeah, for sure tonight, watch it.

Okay. Sorry about that tangent. Yeah, no, that was good. I'm just very passionate about documentaries. I love them. Any other good ones? Comment away. I'm on a binge like TV mode right now. Yes. I feel like I've gone through everything. So I know. It's like, come on, Netflix. Why'd you only put 400 things out yesterday? We need more. I feel like they've been struggling, honestly. Well, yeah, the strike definitely like they're just putting old new shit on. Slowed everything. It's like how many times we watch Friends.

That's not even on there anymore. Not the office is gone. New girl is gone. Why do I even pay? Okay, next story. After the end of a good fight, you deserve a nice cold reward. Medela, you put in the hours, the energy, the tough labor, because you know the bigger the fight, the better the reward. Medela, the mark of the fight. Trick responsibly. Beer imported by Crown & Port Chicago, Illinois.

This is four days old. This is a rodeo I don't think many people are going to ever experience, I hope, because it is scary. So it is titled, Amma the Asshole for Expecting My Brother to Pay for a New Phone After I Damaged Mine, Saving His Son.

My 19-male brother, 24-male, was watching his son, 3-male, when they were over at our parents' place this weekend. But he got distracted for a minute and my nephew fell into the backyard swimming pool. Thank God I heard it in time and jumped into the pool and saved him. We are all aware a tragedy could have happened. Everyone is still in shock. And my father already started working on gating the pool.

I did have another kind of financial loss though, because I had my cell phone in my pocket when I jumped into the pool and it is now dead. I told my brother I will look into buying a new one and send him the bill. He thinks he is not responsible for pain and says he cannot believe that's what I'm asking about after his son almost died.

So I said it was his fault that his son almost died. He should be down on his knees thanking God and kissing my feet for saving his son's life. And the least he can do is pay for a phone of my choice. My mother says to give him time. Am I the asshole for insisting here? People are fucking assholes.

I, if, I mean, it's crazy to put yourself in that headspace, but like, if my brother saved my child, I would be forever indebted to him forever. I'd be like, how can I thank you? Like getting you a new phone is not even enough. Like, and also the trauma, if he didn't save the kid and he was like fucking hero, he's a hero. Yeah. Yeah.

This is crazy that you have a problem. Who are these moms too who are always going against the people? Give him time. Give him time? I need to text people. I don't have time. I need to use my GPS. Give him time. No. How do you function? Also, I haven't had a new phone in like forever.

It's not like it's 30 grand. No. I mean, iPhones have gotten crazy expensive. Like I had an iPhone 8 up until like recently. Yeah. Like I just couldn't. I liked the fingerprint thing. Put him on a payment plan. Let's just like, I don't know. It should be the first thing out of the brother's mouth being like, oh, I got your phone. You got my son.

And I'll also get, I would give him my house. I'd be like, you can have my house. That's like, this is where it would get so hard because like you recognize like as a human. Yeah. Yeah. He's like dealing with like, wow, my son could have died. Yeah. But at the same time, like my phone is gone. I need to function. I need to go to work. I need to like have maps. I need to be safe in case of an emergency. Yeah.

Do you know how much a funeral would have cost you? Jesus Christ. Like a phone is cheap in comparison. But it's like, do you say that to someone who's like going through this? Like this...

probably like catastrophizing of like, I almost lost my son. Yeah. Like you couldn't, you couldn't say that. Also, if you're catastrophizing that you almost lost your son, why would you make such a big deal out of paying for a phone? Like you should, you should have life in such a different perspective now and just be so grateful and thankful. But also, yeah, you don't want your brother the rest of your life be like, remember when I saved your kid? But like, this is a great way to just be like, here's my thank you. And like, holy shit, that's so emotional. But like,

That guy, and maybe he's having, like, super financial problems, but if he's not having bad financial problems, that's just being a huge asshole. Yeah. Well, and he's 24. Like, had his kid young at 21, so maybe not the, like, most well-off. But the brother who saved the kid is 19. Like, he doesn't probably have money for a new phone. No. And, like, I don't know, my first thought wouldn't be, oh, baby in a pool. Like, let me take my phone out and empty my pockets. Like, just...

Come on, be a decent person. It's also like the perfect way to say thank you being like pick any phone you want. Yeah. Because my kid's life is the most important thing. Even if rent is a little tight next month. It's a good opportunity to like have a nice moment with your brother who saved your child. Yeah. I also like the payment plan idea. Yeah, I got a payment plan. And if mom says give him time. Hey, mom. Hey, mom. Hey, mom, you want to buy the phone? I know. Where's mom? Mommy.

It is hard, but you know what's harder? If your son was gone. Yeah. Sorry, that was really- Mic drop. Mic drop. Mic fucking drop. Well, thank God the kid was saved. Holy shit. Yeah. Not the asshole is the overall vote on the post. Top comment.

How much time does your mother expect you to give your brother? I'm assuming you need your phone on a daily basis like the rest of us and it can't wait. Your brother should absolutely cover your costs. Having you saved one of my children's lives, I'd buy you the most expensive version out there, not the asshole. 100% agree. Yeah. There's no comments from OP, no update. So we're going to have to wait on this one. Okay.

It's four days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Making My Wife Pay for Something She Gave Away?

My wife has a bad habit of giving away or lending out things that don't belong to her. I've lost count of how many times I go to look for something of mine only for her to say she lent it to someone. She also takes forever to get that item back. She once lent my stuff to a coworker and refused to ask for it back for a month. And I'll never forget the day my usually quiet, reserved son snapped at her for trying to give away his Nintendo Switch.

If I wasn't also fed up with her behavior, I would have washed his mouth out with soap. I've had countless talks with her, but she continues to do this. My son and I have resorted to locking up anything we don't want touched, which is something we shouldn't have to do in our own home. Last week, I won a $300 tent in a raffle. I had no plans on using it, so I was selling it. When I found a buyer, I went to look for it, and I couldn't find it.

When I asked my wife, she said she gave it to a friend of ours. I got mad at her and said she had no right to give it away. Her defense was, since I didn't spend money on it and I wasn't planning on using it, it made sense to give it away for free. I told her that wasn't her decision to make, but she kept on repeating herself. I've had enough of this and said she's either going to pay me herself or get the money from who she gave it to. And if she didn't, I'd get law enforcement involved.

Was this his wife? Uh-huh. Oh, he's pissed. He means business. He's pissed. Since she would rather die than ask a friend for money, she paid me out of her own pocket. The issue eventually got around to her family. While they did say she should have talked to me first, they also reprimanded me for asking for payment.

They reasoned that since I didn't actually buy the tent, I didn't lose any money, and it went to a friend who could actually put it to good use. I got several texts saying I should be ashamed for extorting my wife for money. I think I have every right to want to be paid for something of mine that was taken, but everyone keeps emphasizing the fact that I didn't technically buy the tent, and I didn't want it, so I have nothing to be upset about.

am I the asshole I have so many thoughts my actually biggest qualm with this is getting your family involved in your couple's drama the family doesn't know like all the things that led up to this point yeah I do think it was wrong of him to be like you have to pay me like I think this is one of those like if you ever do this again like this is gonna be a real problem yeah money didn't really have to get involved but I also do think like enforcement too law enforcement too that was a

That was a lot. Also, the whole, like, he did win it. Like, he didn't just, like, get it for free. Like, he earned it. He put his thing down. He tried to get it. It's more of the fact that she does this all the time. This reminds me of, like, when I accidentally threw away my husband's Invisalign. Oh.

Because like I was in a mode where I'm like I'm throwing stuff away with too much stuff and I guess I don't know how it happened I threw it away and I felt so bad but it wasn't like you have to pay for it now. Was it wrapped in toilet paper on your bathroom counter? I think it was. It was one of those things. It happens all the time. Literally this just happened to me and Justin. It was and it's like an honest mistake and we laughed about it and we joked he's like you never clean and now you throw my mind in his line but like and I would have paid him for it like I felt bad but again it's like

Clearly she is having a weird thing of like boundaries with like, also, why are you giving away so much stuff? At least sell it. At least make money for the family. It's like the opposite of hoarding. Like she has, it actually seems like this might be a mental health problem. Yeah. Because why would you give away your kids or your stepkids? Go on Depop. Like the Nintendo Switch is crazy to just give away. Okay.

I understand. It's crazy. Also, if you were just taking stuff and not asking and selling it, but at least I'm like, okay, she's making money. She's on the hustle, but that's still crazy. You have to ask people before you...

What? It's weird. So I think his thing is he was just in a snapping moment. I would snap. And he was like, okay, pay me that money. And it was less like he needed the money. He was just pissed. Yeah. So then like the parents are logically like, that's crazy. You're extorting our daughter. And he's like, no, this was like us fighting and being kind of an asshole in this fight. I think it's about the principle at this point though. And I think, was it a little aggressive to threaten law enforcement? Yeah.

Maybe, but it's clear. Like she doesn't understand boundaries, even though you've told her numerous times, don't give stuff away where you're at the point now of locking anything you don't want given away up in your own house. No, that's insane. It's like she's robbing them. Yeah. But also it's so funny. The opposite of hoarding that really is what it is. Yeah. I think there's something going on there. Um, but the way to solve it is not getting the police involved or charging her money. Like this needs to be like,

investigated by Sweden. I kind of like that he held his guns though and was like, no, I literally had this sold. So I'm getting my money one way or another because this might be the hammer that she needed. I kind of like it. Yeah, he's probably Scorpio. I wonder. There are some comments.

Info. Are you rich? Is she? Do you have separate finances? Yes, we have separate finances and I wouldn't call either of us rich. As long as we plan financially, we are able to live comfortably. Not the asshole. Does your wife give away any of her own things or just everyone else's? Her stuff as well. She will give away something of hers, then turn around and buy a new one for herself.

Yeah, there's something strange happening. That sounds like a disease. Also like- Or she's an extreme people pleaser. Yeah, like someone's like, I like your shirt. And then she just takes it off. But it's like, how many people do you see a day to have that many people to give stuff to? How many friends do you have? I literally feel like she's just like asking people constantly like, oh, do you need a new tent? Like, I think maybe there's something going on where she feels for people to like her. She needs to give them stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

I wonder what she does for people's birthdays when they actually do need something. And it's also weird. It's also weird just to be like regifting your whole house to people. Like, oh, I just use this candle once. Do you want it? I mean, it's really weird. Really weird. I mean, the whole locking stuff up thing. That's just getting to a point of like, I wouldn't want to live like that. But I do have to say if my husband got like the police involved or threatened, like that's that's giving divorce away.

Um, so overall vote on this one is not the asshole, not the asshole. She absolutely shouldn't have done that. What it sounds like is your family and friends don't understand the magnitude of the situation. Of course they think it's absurd because they don't know that she does this time and time again. You're just finally fed up with it and put your foot down. Honestly, sounds like you should have done that a while ago. How would she feel if her stuff just went missing? Tell her she stops. And if she doesn't, I would give her a taste of her own medicine.

They're recommending petty revenge. No, she's like, where's my mascara? That's the top comment though. I would take something of hers and just give it away. Well, maybe it's like to show her like what he's feeling, but clearly she doesn't feel the same way with that kind of stuff. Because she gives her own shit away. Yeah, she's already giving her shit away. But the difference is she'll go buy her stuff again. She's not replacing theirs. Yeah. Yeah.

I would love these because, you know, sometimes I feel like there are three sides to every story. I'd love the other person to be able to chime in with their perspective. It's like a documentary when you first see the first perspective and you're like, yeah, that other person's a monster. And then you hear the other person's perspective and you're like, how could I ever think that other person was not a monster? And then you hear the police perspective and you go, they're both monsters. I wish I would have known your fascination for this because I'm working on a theme that is two sides. Oh, it's a good one.

So someone posted and then the other person found it. Next time. Next time. Next time. Need new glasses or want a fresh new style? Warby Parker has you covered. Glasses start at just 95 bucks, including anti-reflective, scratch-resistant prescription lenses that block 100% of UV rays. Every frame's designed in-house with a huge selection of styles for every face shape. And with Warby Parker's free home try-on program, you can order five pairs to try at home for free. Shipping is free both ways too. Go to warbyparkers.com

Go to warbyparker.com slash covered to try five pairs of frames at home for free. warbyparker.com slash covered. Okay, this is going to be, I think, the last one. Oh, great. What do you think about spiders? I hate cockroaches. They're my number one enemies. Here we go. I can't do cockroaches. Spiders, I don't hate that much. How do you live in New York?

They're everywhere. Spiders or cockroaches or both? Both, but cockroaches especially. They're huge there. No, I know. They're huge. No, I know. I feel like spiders, my mom would always be like, daddy long legs, they're good for their environment or something. I don't know. But cockroaches, they're just...

once a cockroach crawled down my arm and I immediately just like took all my clothes off like I was so disgusted and ran into my room shut the door but obviously the cockroach could find me called my friend who I was living with and I was like you have to kill I'm not killing a cockroach they have bodies that's like a murder yeah I'm not crunchy I cannot kill a cockroach it's a it's like a torso I'm not there's like blood I'm not oh there's blood

I imagine, I don't know. I'm grossing myself out with the questions. I guillotined one once. I guillotined it. With what, a knife? Yeah. Because it was like, I was like in the kitchen. You're fast. Underneath this thing, it was coming out and it popped its head and I just went, and then I cried. Oh my God. Anyway, I don't fuck with cockroaches. There's something, I just sent this to my

like future mother-in-law, but if you're allergic to shellfish, there's something you shouldn't be eating because cockroaches get into it. Oh, it's pre-ground coffee. So if you go to somewhere like a grocery store or your local coffee thing and they're pre-ground,

coffee beans, there's a chance that cockroaches have come in contact with that. And so if you're allergic to shellfish, you can sometimes have an allergic reaction to the ground coffee. Because a cockroach is like a shellfish. Yeah. There's some similar protein. And I can handle a beetle. I can handle ants, cockroaches. Yeah. No. Yeah. You guys might have to fact check me on that. But like. I believe you. So they say. I believe you. Okay. So this one.

Two days old. Am I the asshole for saying my sister's family can't temporarily move in with me and my wife due to their pets? No, don't. No. Don't do this. I, 30 male, have been married to my wife, Naomi, 29 female, for three years, but have been together for over 10 years, and we are expecting our first child together.

Naomi is currently six and a half months pregnant, and I'm not going to lie, but her pregnancy is considered high risk, and our doctor advised her to avoid any stressful situations because of it.

About six months ago, my sister Kate, 38 female, bought a new build house with her husband Bob, 40 male, so they can accommodate all my nephews who are 17, 15, 7, and twins that are 14 months old. Their house is six bedrooms. Extra bedroom is used for Bob's hobby room.

Bob is a lot into insects and spiders. So he has a few tarantulas, cockroaches, etc. Hobby room gives me an ick. If a guy needs a hobby room, like, that's creepy. If you're not into man caves? Man cave I think is different than a hobby room. Okay. Hobby room means you're into some freaky shit. What?

The only time you should have a hobby room is if you have a playroom and you're six years old and you're playing with Legos. As a grown man, you don't need a hobby room. But are you okay with a gal having a sewing room? Yes. As a hobby room? Yes. Okay, so we're- Because she's creating. She's a woman of the arts. So we're just sexist here. She's an artist, okay? He's a bug boy. Okay.

He's breeding shellfish, okay? - Now onto the issue. - Oh, that was, okay. Oh yeah. I was already, okay. - Last survey discovered that Kate's house is not safe to live in due to some construction issues. I don't know why it hasn't been picked up earlier, but now they have nowhere to live and have started a legal battle against the company responsible for building to get their money back.

Currently, they cannot afford to buy another house or rent as prices for the places for rent are way too high in the area. Due to this, my sister has asked me if they can temporarily move in with me and Naomi. Since Naomi inherited a large house from her parents, it is an older Victorian house that still requires a lot of work.

So far, we only have replaced all the windows to keep the warmth in. The house does have enough space for my sister and her whole family, and I said they can move in with us as long as they didn't bring their tarantulas and other insects with them, as my wife is terrified of spiders, to the point of passing out or having a severe panic attack, and Bob has them escaping frequently. Bob refused."

This resulted in a massive argument where I was called an asshole for not providing my sister and her family with accommodations at the time of need over some spiders. Am I the asshole? Okay, this is so messed up, but why did I envision him just like going and stepping on a spider and be like, we're done here.

And I literally hate killing insects because I do believe that they're... Yeah, spiders are nice. That they're nice. But this is the thing. You are not being an asshole for not letting the family stay there. You're letting the family stay there. You're not letting the cockroaches and the spiders stay there. And I feel like, why can't they leave it in that house? It's clearly in the same area. They're saying they need to be in the area. Go visit your spiders and...

And the spiders should be fine. I mean, I don't think they need to be fed eight times a day. Like...

You drop some crickets in the bins and you leave them to be. Yeah, the guy with the dog earlier spends less time with his dog than this guy with his spiders. And ain't that the truth. Why don't we put the dog and the spiders in a house together and let them figure it out and everything will be solved. This could bring world peace. Honestly, it sounds like he needs to just keep them at that house. I don't know, obviously, if the house is going to fall down on itself. But if it's just like a lead problem, I think the spiders would be fine.

- Just lead. You know what I learned today? - What? - That the increase of lead in like paint and in sort of like stuff led to an increase in serial killers. That's what Chris Clemons told me. So if it's wrong, go fight him. - Wow. - Yeah. Lead, real bad. - 'Cause I used a lot of pencils when I was younger. Number two. - Oh my God. Isn't that graphite? - Fuck knows. You're so smart. - No, no, I am not.

Yeah, I'm also we're not even talking about how the pregnant woman, it's not that she's scared of spiders. She has like actual physical reactions. Yeah. So I'm protecting my wife at all costs with her unborn baby. Come on. And I'm choosing my wife over your insects. And I do respect him like that. He loves something. Yeah, that's beautiful. And I love that for you. Everyone should have a passion, even if Hannah doesn't think so. Even though if I think it's stupid, but like.

There has to be another way. Yeah. Even if we want the spiders to live, put them somewhere else. I mean, I think this is really generous to find a place you can move into. So there's Kate, Bob, 17-year-old, 15-year-old, 7-year-old, and 14-month-old twins. That is a mini cult. Like, that is...

- That's Mormonism. - Did you hear me or not? Did you hear me? Did you see me trying to count my fingers just now? - I got confused. - Well, 'cause I usually did, I do this and I'm like, I know this is seven, but like I held up two random ones. - And I just called you so smart and you just lost track of your fingers. - I literally could barely count just now.

That is concerning. We've had a day. We've had a day. But this is my thing. People will rehome like animals that they love because like the kid is sick or they can't take it with them or the it's like horrible stories. So I'm pretty sure he can rehome a spider.

Put it in my basement. I mean, I'm sure he's got a spider buddy that could babysit. Like, usually you get into spiders and snakes and like stuff like that because of someone. I don't know. There's like a community. Or maybe you have a group, like a community. Yeah. Maybe you could post or again, just keep it at your house. Imagine your family on the verge of being homeless because your dad loves his spiders.

Yeah. And like them trying to sue the builders, it's not like they're moving in for a couple of weeks. They are going to be there in a long term process. I mean, it sucks for them, that situation. I'm glad they're getting out. And what are the chances that their family randomly has a massive mansion that they inherited? But like, if you're already encroaching, no pun intended-

I don't know how the... It sounded like a cockroach. Encroaching on their space. Mm-hmm. And cockroaching on their space. I'm so stupid. Then, like, you don't need all this extra stuff, too. No. I would be just so thankful. What's that saying? It's like, um...

- Beggars can't be choosy. - Exactly. - Yeah. - That is wild of him to the, and then to call her an asshole. I'm like, oh, you want to call me an asshole? How about you're not staying at the house? - I would be like, fine. Okay, I'm an asshole. I tried. - Why would you want to live with an asshole then? - I tried. - Put on your parka and tell him to fuck off. - The top comment is not the asshole luckily.

If Bob's priority is his cockroaches and not his kids, that's on him. That's true. And you said that. Literally. You literally said. The cockroaches are the kids. You provided an option. Tell your sister that she and her kids can still move in if they want, and Bob can sort him and his bugs out on his own. Also, his name is Bob. Well, it's probably fake. Oh. It's probably a fake name. Maybe. Bob. I love how we're like, Bob's definitely a fake name. But we have some edits from O.P.,

Oh my God. As this has been mentioned a few times, I have asked my wife and have spoken to her about my sister staying over and it was her choice to agree as long as there was no spiders. I haven't made the decision myself without asking her opinion first.

Good husband. Number two, I have seen a lot of people recommending my wife go to therapy over her fear of spiders. She is in therapy for it. However, it is a bit complicated as one of her family members passed away due to complications caused after a spider bite while they were on holiday. I hope this explains why her fear is as severe as it is. It's literally her biggest nightmare for someone to be walking with spiders. That's insane.

Like that can cause like serious trauma. - Yeah, well we have like so many crazy spiders out here in LA, like brown widows. - Yeah, they're like mussels. - And black widows. And then have you heard of a brown recluse? - No. - If you get bitten by one of those, it like causes your skin to like rot, your muscles and flesh. - Yeah, I'm out. - Yeah. - I'm out. - I had a friend get bit by one, but she caught it early.

Oh my God. Yeah. Really crazy. But I hate how people are even commenting this like, oh, your wife should go to therapy. It's again, blaming the victim. Like it's her problem. Yeah. It's again, like why doesn't she just not have a ton of spiders in her house when she has a phobia of spiders? Also, it's not something where like she she's scared of planes and she has to fly all the time. She doesn't have to deal with spiders. Literally, this is a non-issue for her. She's just trying to like have a baby.

Leave the pregnant woman alone. She's six and a half months pregnant. Come on. Oh my God. Come on. Oh my God. Or maybe you give them money. I don't know if they have money because it's an inherited house, but give them money to rent and then do a payback system. No, this ain't their problem. You're too nice. This ain't their problem. I agree. Bob just needs to get over the spiders being unattended.

Bob needs to get his priorities in order. Bob needs to stop being so fucking in love with spiders. Why doesn't Bob go to therapy for how obsessed he is with spiders? Yeah. Also, they could ask their lawyer if given this lawsuit, if anything they spend towards rent or staying somewhere can be

be reimbursed wow i like that thinking i like that thinking i just also don't love that bob like literally called her an asshole no like again beggars can't be choosers if you're trying to get me to do a favor for you don't throw the a word around no be nicer to a pregnant woman disgusting

Pregnant women can't make mistakes. Pregnant women can do anything. I feel like people- I can't wait till I'm pregnant. I was like, sorry, I'm pregnant. It's going to be my excuse for everything. They're like, you kicked a chihuahua. I'm like, I'm pregnant. I didn't see it. Sorry. God. I didn't see it. Put a leash on your chihuahua. Oh, just come on. Leash your dog.

Do you think people are going to be able to tell we're kidding like 90% of this episode? Oh yeah, I'm a comedian. Go to my website, hannahburton.com to go to shows. Everything is a joke. Literally. I actually do love chihuahuas. I don't think people can tell when I joke sometimes because I say it so flat and dry. Yeah. I'm just like, no, I'm not serious. Asterix, we support the chihuahua community. Yeah, unless they're really annoying. Unless they're really annoying.

Then break up with your boyfriend. I have, okay, so I have this thing. I have like an ear, it's like sound issue. It's like a part of my neurodivergent problems. But if loud repetitive noises are in the same space as me, I go insane. Oh yeah, it's like how people can't do chewing. Misophonia. Yes, misophonia. Mesothelioma. If you or someone you know. Mesothelioma.

My husband also can't do typing, which is crazy because I love the sound of typing. And then I'll come into bed and be like doing some work. And he's like, nope. Nope, you gotta go. And I'm like, I just want to lie down and type. And he's like, nope. You gotta go. That's divorce. Yeah. I'm like, mom's working. Gotta bring that money home. Yeah, mom's working. Also, I did lie. I have one more story I need you to respond to. No problem. Okay, I'm so sorry. No, it's okay. I'm so sorry. It's okay.

You lying bitch. Okay, last one for real. It's 14 days old coming from our very own Two Hot Takes subreddit. It's titled, Am I the asshole for telling my husband he gets no say in how I give birth?

I, 25 female, am seven months pregnant with our first child. My husband, 27 male, and I are both incredibly excited. My husband is a good man, but is kind of stubborn and is a know-it-all at times. We were discussing my birth plan with my nurse, and I plan on giving birth in a hospital-based birth center. I've had an incredibly easy pregnancy and would like a more relaxed, homey-feeling birth, but would like medical care available in case there are any complications.

While discussing, my husband kept interrupting me and answering for me, saying what he thought was best. I told him to stop and that this was mostly a conversation between my nurse and her patient, aka me and our baby. He stopped but got huffy and annoyed the rest of the appointment.

In the car, he got mad at me and said he was just trying to help and that this was his baby just as much as it was mine. I told him he's right. We are equal parents, and the minute the kid is out of me, he gets just as much say as I do. But until then, he gets no say in how I give birth.

Because I am the patient, and this is a medical procedure at its core. His job during labor is to be my support person, advocate for me if needed, and to watch our child come into the world.

He told me that was fucked up and I'm being selfish for saying that. That this pregnancy isn't about me and I'm not more important of a parent than he is. This is not the first time we've had this conversation, but it's the first time I've been so blunt about it. He's now giving me the silent treatment. So am I the asshole? Okay, silent treatment is so immature. How old are we?

He's walking around the house just like ignoring her. I hate stonewalling. I think it is one of the most toxic things in the world. Yeah. And it's not helping anything. Like I understand if you're like, hey, can you give me a day or like give me an hour? I need to cool off. Yeah. That's one thing. But you just being a dick. Oh, I want to fight that man. Um.

And also, what is he so passionate about in the childbirth process that he needs her to, like, do? Because, like, at the end of the day, it's about the baby healthily coming out of her and...

She did say he's being a little know-it-all as in like, what does he know? And like talk it out with him and be like, why do you think this is best? Let's agree together. And because you clearly he's having this weird like feeling like he's not being heard or being valued in this process. But like if anything, his only job is to make sure she's feeling supported. And that's how you are a good parent. Yeah.

It's really interesting. There is a couple comments from OP and an edit even. I think a lot of people weren't really reading the post. So the edit is some of you don't read and I'm not going to argue with you. Shut the fuck up. LOL.

He wants me to immediately get hooked up to Pitocin in a hospital room. And if it doesn't speed things along fast enough, then get a C-section, which is the exact opposite of what I want. And so far, there is no indication I will need to be induced or need a C-section. Yeah, that's insane. He like read something on a, no offense, Reddit and was like this. No, she's listening to her doctor. That's crazy. Yeah.

Okay, this is where my head goes. And this could be so far from the truth. Obviously, I haven't popped out a baby yet. But anytime a guy is like going for a C-section and he's like, you need a C-section. He's like really trying to push that. I feel like the dude is scared that his wife's or girlfriend or whoever's vagina is going to change. He's like, I don't want my pussy fucked up. Like you got to get a C-section.

Like that's what it's giving. It's giving like lack of knowledge. Lack of knowledge. On how vaginas work. Also like pelvic floor therapy, things like that. You can't make someone take their insides out and put it on the table next to them because of your own. That's what happened. Yeah. Like that's crazy behavior. Oh my God. That's crazy behavior. I would like be like, I appreciate it.

Thank you. I would lie and tell him I did. I'd be like, yeah, that's what I'm doing. But no, you should never have to lie to your significant other. And also, I think that's just that's crazy when drugs get involved, bad things can happen. Like it's just about your wife's safety. Yeah. But he's just sounds like delusional. He read one thing and was like, this is a conspiracy theory and this needs this is how it should be. Something's going on to give him this thought that like Pitocin. Someone scared the shit out of him.

From what I know about Pitocin, it's actually like... I know nothing. That sounds like... I have no idea what that is. It's like a drug you get through an IV and it can cause you to go into labor or speed up contractions or things like that. And my sister-in-law got it and she said it was brutal. Like it did not feel good. It made it worse because she had one birth without and one birth with. Yeah, like there's so many things that could go wrong in pregnancy. Like...

Yeah. And I haven't been pregnant either, so I'm not really knowledgeable about it. But I tell you one thing, he's not knowledgeable about it. And again, these are always like bigger issues. Like clearly he's been a know-it-all in other situations and she's been like fine, but now it's her own body and she finally snapped and his reaction is ignoring her. Another divorce. Another divorce. I know.

Something's off here for sure. Top comment. I'd address the silent treatment. It's not acceptable behavior. If this is how he's going to parent, it's not acceptable to a partner and really not to a child. You have a bigger problem here than just a birth plan. Like if you're, if this is how he's dealing with this disagreement, you're going to deal with so many more disagreements with how to like,

Clearly parent your kid and he's also in this weird like power dynamic thing where he's like keeping score of who's more of a parent already. So that's I don't love that. They always say that like people want kids to feel like you're closer, but sometimes kids will just exacerbate the current issues that you have.

yeah that was a big fucking word but that's what they say yeah so like if you're doing well kids will make it like a little worse because it's any problems will be bigger and if you had problems they're not getting solved because you have a wild toddler running around no and there's like a common misconception that babies fix things or people do try for a baby to fix their relationship like you said and I don't

know in what world that would ever make it better. Less sleep, more attention. Like that just evolves more. And then you have to communicate more because you actually are doing something together. Like you can't ignore each other. You need each other's help. Yeah. It's complicated. It's a lot. Don't get a husky and not train it and don't have babies with

Guys who want to tell you how to have birth. I think this is a really common thing too. And you don't know until you know. And it sucks. Oh, that was so Midwest of you. You don't know till you know. It comes out sometimes. I love that. I try to bottle it up, but.

But sometimes these intense life moments is when you realize like, oh, fuck, I'm not with the right person. And it's so scary. But like, it's OK. You'll be fine. Don't force yourself to be in something that's wrong and you'll be great. And that is it. And it's positivity. And on that note.

Thank you guys for joining for another episode of Two Hot Takes. Thank you, Hannah, for being here. Thank you so much for having me. My frequent flyer. Oh, it's an honor. Where can people find you? I know you have a big tour going on, Netflix special. I mean, you're like... I haven't filmed it yet. You're like on... It's cooking. Cloud nine, like...

You did something with Hailey Bieber. I mean, you're just like, you're fucking huge. Oh my God. So are you. No, no. You're crushing it. But where can people find you? How can they go to your shows? Oh yeah, hannahburner.com. Also, I'm trying to YouTube. I'm putting all my comedy on YouTube. Yes. So check out my YouTube. Yes. Hannah Burner. I'm doing, putting...

interviews, comedy, check it out. And yeah, TikTok, Instagram and hannahburton.com to see if I'm at a city near you. I'm traveling a lot the next like five months. It's going to be amazing. Thank you, babe. I will be sure to put the link for Hannah's site in the description. So it's easy for you all to find. Catch a show, you guys.

Thank you, babe. Stand up, crowd work queen. I saw the most hilarious video of yours the other day, your crowd work. What was I doing? It was like the guy and it was like his wife died or something. And I was just like, oh my God, you really walked yourself into that. But you got out. That's crowd work. You made it. That's crowd work. And the whole place started chanting Steve. It was wild. It was so good. You never know what's going to happen in one of these shows, but you'll forget your own problems. That's for sure.

Hit her up. Hit her up, guys. Okay, well, thank you. And until next time, bye.