158: Not Very 'For the Girls'.. Ft. Girls Gotta Eat
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COVID-19 and flu viruses disguise themselves to fool your immune system. That's why COVID-19 and flu vaccines are updated to protect you. Stay up to date on COVID-19 and flu vaccinations. Sponsored by Champions for Vaccine Education, Equity, and Progress. Are you guys ready? Yeah. We're rolling. It's one girl circus, just like you guys do. Except there's two of you. I'm so jealous. Do you want to co-host?

I, you know, I tried. Well, that's why you're here today. Oh, you can be our friend too. To be my co-host. But I started with a co-host. Yeah, I thought so. And it just, I wasn't meant to be. It's hard to work with another person. I mean, we've been in business together for six years. And every day is not a dream. Ashley is a nightmare. Honestly, we're open talking about our relationship that way. She's like, this is tough. Why are we friends again? I don't know.

All right, let me back up. Ashley is like my family and my best friend. We run two businesses together, but it's not easy. It's not. Totally, I guess. Every day it's your dream to work with another person. You don't want to just make every decision by yourself. Wouldn't that be fun? Get to there. Thank you. Making her accountable. I mean...

I don't know where to go from here. I love you so much. I love our business so much. I mean, we talk a lot about... Yes, I'm like... I like to do things my way. I've never been able to have a boss. And I've always wanted to work for myself and everything. I had trouble... Ashley has problems with authority. I've been told my whole life. But... Oh, same. It's really nice to have somebody... Especially when shit's going badly to like go back and forth with. And we tour together. You know, I kind of... There's... I don't really find...

all the negative things like I guess right it does I never said it was negative being in business with anybody for six years is hard and we socialize together we spend holidays together I actually don't find it that hard I actually love it I love being in a partnership and we I don't know what's happening here we spend Christmas together we are best friends we're like family I've been struggling they're gonna take this one on reddit they're gonna take it away run the tape I said nothing bad it is

I stand by it. A lot of people break up and we haven't. I will say, we have a great- Six years is impressive. We have a really wonderful business relationship, allegedly, but people-

In my opinion. No, I'm kidding. Okay. It's I get to Raina's point. It is hard. Like I've worked with other people before. Yeah. And it didn't really men specifically, you know, it doesn't really work out. You need someone that like pulls their weight that you share common goals and all those things. Absolutely. Podcast world, touring world. It's a tough gig we got going here, but it's a privilege. We love it.

For those of you listening, I'm so bad about introducing my guests, so you might have recognized their voices, but today we are joined by Raina and Ashley from Girls Gotta Eat. What?

My little DJ horn. We're so excited to be here. Yeah, we're so excited. I've been trying to get you guys for probably years. Do we have a date? And then there was some AC issue, which thank God you didn't bring us here with no AC. That was in the middle of the summer. It was terrible. It's one thing after another. You guys are having studio trouble. I have studio trouble. It's either the AC doesn't work or now after all the rain in LA, it smells like

Everything's damp. It's not good in here right now. But yeah, I originally, I feel like you guys were, when I started podcasting, just like the people I really looked up to, and I was like, these girls are fucking crushing it. They're bringing dancers on at their tours. Like, what are they doing? This is what I

want to do with my life. So thank you so much. And we're going to have you on our show. So we're excited to have you and everything you built here is wonderful. We're just going to gas you up too, but we love it. And you've had really fun guests too. But yeah, it's, it's, it's hard having your own studio at home, but we love it. Yeah. It looks great here. Luckily it's not my house. I used to do it there, but I'm really excited to have you guys on today. Your podcast is, it definitely gives the vibe for the girls. Like you talk about relationships, sex,

everything under the sun. Like I've listened to the episodes that you have with psychologists, psychiatrists, you have experts on talking about narcissists. That's like the most recent one I got into today. So you're very for the girls.

So today's theme, what we're working with is people that appear to not be very for the girls. I was hoping you'd do a theme for us. I'm excited. I know. I was listening this morning to an episode. I was getting like all fired up. I was telling you, but I was like, I wonder if we're going to have a theme. I was hoping for this. This is the theme.

the theme and we also encourage like couples to listen and we think that anybody that dates women should also listen um a guy friend of ours was saying um that he he was like i listened to you guys recently and i think more men should listen we're like yeah we we think so too we think that it's really important information to learn how to date other people yeah it's like a serious hack honestly like you you give an inside look into women's heads and also how to have like

It feels like have a healthy relationship, friends, family, partners. Thanks. Come one, come all. Yeah. Okay. Well, you're definitely going to get fired up again today. So let's dive in.

Okay, so up first, this is coming from 2HotTakes subreddit, but it was originally posted in Am I the Asshole nine days ago. Okay. Thank God for screenshots because the moderators of Reddit removed it. Oh. So it is titled... This must be dirty. It's People Hated Him. Yes. Oh, okay.

Am I the asshole for going on a hiking trip with my pregnant wife? Over the weekend, my wife and I went on a hiking trip with some of my friends. We've always been active people, but it kind of seems like my wife, who's six months pregnant, has turned into a couch potato in recent weeks.

It's caused her to gain a bit of weight and become moody. So I figured some exercise would be good for her and me. This feels like a joke. Like, have you ever heard of pregnancy? She seems a little moody. Yeah, you try strapping a watermelon to your body. She seems a little tired, moody, and is gaining weight. Could she be pregnant? Shocker. Like, if you told somebody, I feel really tired and moody and I'm gaining weight, they'd be like, you're pregnant. It's literally the definition of pregnancy. That's the number one symptom. He's like, I can't even think why. She's just being a bitch. That's insane.

Well, I thought I picked a pretty easy hike. It's a trail that's close to our house and not that long, about three miles out and back, but it can be a bit steep in places. She's done it before, so it couldn't have been too much of a surprise. Well, we were about one third of the way done when my wife started huffing and puffing. My friend slowed down to accommodate her, so I decided to slow down too.

After half a mile of huffing and puffing, my wife looked pretty bad. She got really pale and was hunched over on the side of the trail. I was sort of shocked to see her in this state.

She had let herself go recently, but I didn't think she would lose her fitness this quickly. However, a few minutes later, she actually started to throw up. And it was at this point that we all decided to head back. He knows she's pregnant, right? I just, right? He does know she's pregnant? It feels fake. It feels so wild. She let herself go? What are you talking about? She's making a baby.

I'm fully aware that she's going to deliver a baby in three months. Thank you. But I can't help but think that she wouldn't have embarrassed me in front of my friends if she had kept up with her exercise routine. We both ate the same food at breakfast and I never got sick, so that couldn't be it either. We got back to the parking lot and I apologized for my wife's behavior to my friends. I thought I was out of earshot, but apparently my wife heard the whole thing.

When I got back to the car, she went nuts. She told me that I was an idiot for thinking she could keep up at our normal pace and that I was a grade-A asshole for insinuating that my wife had thrown up on purpose.

I listened to her rant at me before politely asking if she thought she would have felt so sick if she hadn't been a couch potato recently. But she refused to engage with me at all. I wanted it to dawn on her that she was at least partially to blame for this, but she refused to take any responsibility. This happened on Saturday, and even today has been really tense. It's as if she's holding a grudge against me, and I don't know how to get her to stop.

She's making me really sad with this horrible treatment. Am I the asshole? Straight to jail. So we don't like to overuse this word, but he is a narcissist. I mean, full blown. Like this is one of the main things we talked about on our episode this week with Dr. Romney about someone else's struggle being your inconvenience. Like to not be able to even understand

understand what she must be dealing with, that it's just like a problem for him. It's like top level narcissism. And I really feel for her. Well, I don't know. She married this guy, but I feel for her to be having a kid with this person. Absolutely. Let me reframe this for this guy. This woman has probably been hearing from her husband for a while. I think you've kind of

overly let yourself go. We're not doing as much activity. And so she says, I'm going to try to do this for you to make you happy to maybe get myself back in shape. She did this for him. It certainly wasn't for her. Nobody that's six months pregnant wants to take a three mile hike. So what a pleasure to be married to somebody. What an honor to have a partner that wants to do that for you. But

you're right. Somebody who's like such a narcissist would never look at it like that. Well, and you sometimes don't know or you don't encounter something this extreme until something like this happens. I mean, you know, we were talking about how you can really be in a relationship with a narcissist for quite some period of time, depending on the type of person you are. If you're someone that's a little more agreeable and amenable and just gives them all the compliments and bends to them all the fuel that they need. And it's when something inconveniences them that you see the side of them. And it's

I mean, I feel very confident in my assessment of this. Like, that's a crazy thing. Like, it's also... It's like every woman experiences something different. Like, does he not have any women in his life? Does he have a mom? Like, a woman friend? Like, anybody that's been pregnant. Like, some women are bedridden from five months on or whenever the fuck. You know, like, some women have such struggles. Like, the fact that she is even agreeing to this at six months means she's, like, pretty healthy in her pregnancy. Totally. It's just crazy. I'm not expecting...

a man to understand everything about a woman's pregnancy and body, but enough to be like, this is a huge deal. Absolutely. And like another mark of a narcissist is they really can only see the world through the lens of how it affects them. So he is embarrassed by how she acted. He wants her to apologize to him. He wants her to apologize to his friends. He's apologizing to the friends. He's not even going to save face for his partner by saying she's obviously pregnant, guys.

Like that is the only way a narcissist can see the world is how you have affected them and not what you have done for them. Can you imagine like any normal, stable, non-narcissistic, decent partner would be like, babe, I'm so sorry. I pushed you too hard. I feel terrible. You know, they would be just like telling the friends like, you guys, I feel so terrible. I can't believe I put her through this. She's obviously wasn't in a good place to be doing this. Like, it's just, it's

actually the complete opposite of what you want in life. Like the other farthest end of the spectrum of what is like a decent partner. Yes. And if I'm making a baby and I'm sick all the time and I'm swollen and I'm gaining weight, all I want for my partner is to remind me how beautiful I am all the time, how important I am to them. Like you have lost control of everything your body used to be.

And all I want to do is be reminded of how great I am and how thankful you are and how beautiful I am. It's such a vulnerable state. I mean, I feel like this guy is on a different planet. And I think you both are very spot on with this. To find...

yourself inconvenienced by her pregnancy. Like, what did you expect? And I think it's really scary because a lot of people don't find out their partner is like this until something like pregnancy or immediately after the wedding when they're locked in. And it's not easy to just like break up and move on. Yeah. Like, that's what's fucking terrifying about this. But all it takes is a quick Google search. Like, what does a woman's body look like at six months? Because

I don't know. Like, I don't, I haven't looked at these a lot, but where the fuck is her diaphragm supposed to fit? Right. She's huffing and puffing. It's insane. I huff and puff walking up a flight of stairs. Yeah. She's six months pregnant doing a three mile hike. I know this morning coming back from getting coffee voice noting, I started to get a little short of breath. I parked up the hill next to your studio. I'm not even looking forward to going back to my car. I'm going to carry rain.

And I will have sympathy for her. No, but this is just, it's also so textbook about her body changing. So we also discussed this recently with Dr. Romney, kind of like,

they need you to look in a certain way for their self-image. So he doesn't really like that she's been gaining any weight at all, even though it's due to literally having a baby grow inside of her. But so that's a whole nother thing. So he also feels super embarrassed and inconvenienced by her body changing in the first place. I can see a world in which a couple, she's pregnant. And for six months, the wife says to the husband every single day, I hate my body. I feel so disgusting. I can't believe all this weight I've gained. And the husband's saying, let's take a walk.

every day let's try to take a walk two days a week and then the husband saying like she says she doesn't like this and she says she feels bad I'm trying to help and nothing is helping because I'm just suggesting some like light let's take a stroll around the block that is the only scenario in which I can see somebody being a little bit frustrated this is psychotic this is absolutely so crazy

Yeah. When you're pregnant, listen, anything goes. Women go through hell. I mean, some women have nausea for months on end, migraines, the hormones, all the things. And also just as soon as you have that baby, oh my God, the hormone drop. I mean, the postpartum. It's just- It's not easy. It's not. You got to be ready for that shit. And a narcissist will never be ready. Top comment pops off on them. All caps, all caps.

Right, right.

And then that's it for the caps. Well, we were about one third of the way done when my wife started huffing and puffing. My friends slowed down. They like quote and all caps again. You thought she should be able to keep up normal pacing. You're the asshole. You seriously owe your wife a huge apology. She didn't embarrass you. You embarrassed yourself with your own behavior. Also, she's really making you sad with this horrible treatment.

Do you have any remorse for how you treated her? No, they don't. And all these comments are futile. This is just a full-blown narcissist that nothing would matter. Even if you scream this in his face, he would find a way to like misdirect and be like, like not hear it. You know, there's no... Well, anybody that starts from this stance, like we always talk about like, there's no reason to like...

If you look at a person's stance on something and you're like, this is a crazy person. Yeah. Then you already know you're starting from a point where you're not talking to somebody that's rational. So you can't like give them normal examples of how like behavior should be because they're never going to see your side of it. Anybody who would write this to begin with is not a normal functioning human being. Yeah. You will never win. Is anybody defending them? No. God, no. No. You said some stuff got deleted? Yeah. So the moderators removed it. They have a bunch of reasons. Like what?

Keeping the community safe, civil, and true to its purpose is the main one. That's what they attach to this one. Yeah, there's... It's so anti-woman and it's, like, so anti-pregnancy and, like, health. Yeah, it's just, like, kind of... They could remove it because it's just such utter bullshit or, like, our OP didn't follow rules. Like, each subreddit has such a variety of rules. So it's, like, be civil, accept your judgment. So OP, like, might have gotten these comments and then went to, like, fight people in the comments. Oh.

Oh, account has been suspended. So I can't directly search for any comments from him. That guy will definitely fight with people in the comments. Like there's no way he's going to be like, I see your side of things. Right. Yeah. But luckily I don't see any, not the assholes. It's all, you're the asshole. People tearing him apart. Um,

So I think we're safe that we're sane. Yeah. I think we know we're sane. Totally. I think there's a lot of men that would be really honored to be with somebody like her. And I hope she gets away from this guy and find somebody else. I can't imagine anything worse than.

locking in for life with a child with a person like that i just co-parent like co-parenting is so much easier than being married and raising a child directly with someone like this right yeah my mom co-parented with some fucking crazy assholes really yeah and we all turned out okay so co-co-co-parent yeah oh no poor thing i know i want an update i mean i'm a very well-balanced individual you're just saying just saying

Okay, moving along. This one is 14 hours old.

It is titled... It's very fresh. Steaming. It's titled, Am I the Asshole? for upstaging the bride with an outfit that was approved prior to the wedding. This is Kendall Jenner. Did she write this?

It was my first Western wedding, so I was careful about avoiding cultural gaffe. I'm friends with the groom and asked him for the dress code. It was dressing up to our nines in neutrals and pastels. I have this lovely sari that fit the bill. I sent him a picture and he said it's perfect. Five months before the wedding, I met the bride with many other of the groom's friends at a bar. I showed her a picture of the sari to ask if it was appropriate.

I also told her I'd be happy to buy a new outfit if it wasn't. So whatever she says will go. She said it was delightful and she'd be glad to have some culture added to her wedding pictures. LOL, I know, right? I don't love that comment.

The day arrived. Friends stayed in the back for the ceremony, so there weren't many eyes on me. For the reception, the bride changed into a gown that could be described as grayish white. It was the same fabric as my outfit.

The majority and outer layer of her gown was still white. Only the embroidery was the same color as my sari, and the underneath fabric had a hint of the same gray as mine, thus making it grayish. The groom, his mother, and our friends complimented me for how nice I looked. The groom's mother especially loved it, as she kept coming up to me to compliment me more.

She's half Indian and was brought up in the country. She too had worn a sari for the special day and seeing someone else in it seemed to be sentimental for her.

The bride and her bridesmaids, though, were a different ballgame. The bride gave me a stank eye. A bridesmaid tried to spill her drink on me. Another commented if my outfit was going to turn out white in the pictures, we're going to have a problem. When we showed up to get group pictures done, I thoughtlessly ended up standing next to the couple. The bride made moves so that I ended up at the very corner by the time the photographer started clicking."

As we stood in a group for the bouquet-throwing thingy, the maid of honor asked if I'm going to try to catch it, like I haven't gotten enough attention for the day. On our way back, I asked my friends if my behavior or outfit was inappropriate. They didn't think anything of it. But am I the asshole?

Oh, my gosh. Well, she got it pre-approved. And if it was just the groom, I'd be like, that's your fault for asking the man. Totally. That's where I thought it was going. I thought she only got the male approval. And I can also... I mean, I can see the bride being like... Doing a little mental gymnastics. Being like, I don't want to tell someone not to wear something. I don't love it. I guess I'll just say it's okay. She's not going to be in a lot of photos. But like, she said it was fine. It's her wedding. If there's any day to like pull rank, it is your wedding day. It's that day. Well, so...

She, the OP, is that the term? Yeah. You're fitting right in. The OP made this, she had a lot of details surrounding the colors were the same with the gray and all that stuff. Was that part of it? Or was that just kind of like...

additional information we didn't need. I feel like was it that they matched too closely or everything just looked kind of white in the photos or in the night? I think she's just trying to give as much context as possible. She actually did share a picture of her sari. Oh my God. Can we see it? Yeah. Because you said... I didn't catch the part where she said it was the same color. You just said fat. Oh. I mean, it's lightish, grayish, baby blue. It looks baby blue to me. Yeah. Then like...

It was a West. That's gorgeous, by the way. It was a Western theme. So were they supposed to be in neutrals? You know, like there's only so many neutrals you can rock. Honestly, that's a good point. The fact that the groom said neutrals, I think that's risky. Neutrals for people is cream. Yes. Like a lightish. Throw on an ivory. Otherwise, what is it? Just brown? You know, like what are you supposed to do with that? That's it. Brown. Because you really like I do like bright colors.

to a wedding, you know, especially if it's like a spring or summer wedding, you want to like, I like to have like a pop and you're so far from white. Yeah. Neutrals, I'd be kind of like, what am I supposed to do here? Neutrals is this room. Also, when I'm shopping, if I've never had a wedding of my own or been to like events in a long time, I'm not thinking, is this gray or light blue going to appear white in photos? Like most people are not going to take the extra step and say like, how does this going to look at a photo? As long as you're not in the bridal party, you're not staying next to the bride all the time. Like, and she ran up by the bride. Yeah.

Yeah, she brought the culture. That's what I don't get. I feel like that was such a weird thing to be like, we would love to have you spice things up for the wedding. Ashley, when she said Western wedding, be honest, did you think cowgirl? I just got that. No, I was picturing like fancy, like Jackson Hole, you know, like American country Western.

Wait, like that party Sydney Sweeney threw for her like MAGA dad. Do you remember that party? Sydney Sweeney was like being dragged. She threw this like very MAGA party for her dad. Everyone's wearing like a red hat and like someone had like a Blue Lives Matter shirt on. It was like country western. You said upstaged a bride at a western wedding. I thought she wore chaps in Jackson Hole. Her ass out.

Yeah. She's like, this ain't Texas. Ain't no hold'em. I fucking love that song. I can't get enough of it. Oh, yeah, we love it. Also, I will say that outfit, and you guys can't see it, but it is a lot of fabric. Like, I can see also a bride getting upset that you look half naked at their wedding. That's why I said Kendall Jenner. No, but that's the best thing about Indian culture, like, is a bra top.

Like, their culture... It's beautiful. It's the best. I've only been to, like, one Indian wedding. My boyfriend is also Indian, so, you know, you never know. But it's like, you're supposed to wear a bra top. I'm like, this is amazing. But that is not it. That's a lot of fabric. So, you're not showing anybody up in that much fabric? Here's the thing. I probably wouldn't have chosen that. It was, like Raina said, it's so big. It's really...

kind of ostentatious and then it is giving white vibes. But she loved it and she was wanting to go with this neutral theme and then she ran it by the bride and groom. So you can't really go. Where can you go from there? I don't know. I have so many issues for this one. And I think that comment was so backhanded. I'd love some culture at my wedding.

First of all, ma'am, your mother-in-law now is also Indian. Well, isn't the groom's Indian? Half or something by the sounds of it. I'm very confused about the wedding. So it's like your mother-in-law was also in a sari. That's why she kept coming up to our writer here and complimenting her. I think it's because of that. I think there's some weird dynamic behind the scenes. And O.P. was just kind of like,

the one that got the heat because the mother-in-law was so nice to her, complimenting her, took attention away from the bride. You don't think it's color, but you don't think it has anything to do with the color of the outfit. I don't even think that. I think it's kind of this like novelty thing where it's like, if it is a Western wedding, you're not used to seeing saris as a part of wedding attire. Like everyone's kind of like fawn and gawk over it. Like I would like,

Indian wedding culture is so beautiful. We love it. Top tier. My friend Richa is Indian and like she always goes back for weddings and like

her outfits, I'm just like, I just, I'm so jealous. It's the best. People are breathing down my neck to have like a traditional Indian wedding. I want her to have it so bad. I know so many of our friends are Indian and we had a bunch of friends that just went to an Indian wedding in India and the outfits are just wild. They're unreal. The jewelry. Also the brides like don't usually wear white, which I like, I love. And so like you as a guest can wear white.

It's like not an issue. Yeah. I've seen when they were like red. Red. I think you're really onto something with just the amount of attention she was receiving. So it was clearly that this bride approved this beforehand and then she something got under her skin at her wedding. Yeah. And then she started popping off to her bridesmaids and then everyone just ganged up. Like there's something underlying there for sure. I mean, just the sheer amount of like anyone else getting attention at your wedding. People get all weird about it.

Yeah, I think that like... Have another drink, girl. I do think also in this case, like people say like intent doesn't matter, but like intent in this case really does matter. And her intention was to respect the culture of the groom who that is her friend, right? Like she's invited because of him. I think she's like, this is an Indian wedding. I want to respect the culture of the Indian wedding. I asked both people involved. Like her intent does matter. I don't think it was an Indian wedding. Western wedding. Western, like...

Western. I feel like I feel like that's kind of just like Western medicine, Western culture. I feel like that's what they mean about like people. Yeah. In the States here. I'm just like traditional. Yeah. West American wedding. I'm so I really hope Western. Well, she said the the the Western to her meant just my first Western wedding. The group. Right. She's in it. Sorry. I'm all fucked up now. OK. She just meant like her first non-Indian wedding, maybe.

Got it. Yeah. This whole time, I really was thinking. Are we okay? Wait, what? The groom's mom is Indian. He's Indian. No, I know. Right? I just. We just fucked ourselves up so bad. Can we start again? Tessa, can you restart the camera? Okay. Sorry. I've got. You know, you hear something for the first time and that's what you think it is and then you just can't change your. It's her first wedding that's not an Indian wedding. Yes. Yes.

I hate myself. American white people wedding. Just traditional. Yeah, I'm just double checking if there's any comments from OP. Because I would be really pumped if it was actually a Western wedding and people had cowboy hats. It's definitely not. I think I'm going to do that, though. That whole thing about the neutrals was completely out of pocket.

When you said Western the whole time, I'm thinking cowboy hats. And then you said, sorry, and I've been fucked up since then. The chaps. That's where you got the chaps from.

Well, this is just us being stupid. You know, like we're in our heads. We didn't hear American wedding. So we weren't thinking like we should have known. Yeah. And yeah, apologizing. I apologize, too. I think you're right. I think the bride did not anticipate that this girl would get so much attention. She got a lot of positive affirmations for what she wore.

to the Western wedding. And I think she just didn't like it after the fact. And then the bridesmaids got really catty, which feels just like kind of mean and like gang mentality. I feel like I need to walk back everything at this point. Like, it's just... You're changing your mind? This is someone who...

doesn't understand how extreme people take this, like, can't wear any shade of white thing. So that's why she ran it by these, the bride and groom in the first place. Like, I'm not saying that it's silly. Of course, if you want to wear white at your wedding, you don't want anyone else to, but people get really in the weeds with like anything having a touch of white on it, you know? So I feel like she was just like, I've heard about this thing that like, you know, American people care about and I'm going to run it by them. And it would have been so easy for them to then say, okay,

So here's how we kind of do it here. And maybe just, I don't know. I think it's totally on her side. Yeah. They had an out to tell her not to wear it. Yeah. Two. Not just one, but two. Absolutely. And I'm not really a like, I'm going to tell people what to do. Like, I wouldn't tell people what to wear to any event except for my wedding. And then I would feel perfectly comfortable saying like, this is my day. Yeah. This is my day. I'm paying for this.

No. Yeah. One, I'm definitely having cowboy hats at my wedding because it's going to be on a farm. So it's going to be great. Oh, perfect. But the top comment does pick up kind of like the mean girl vibes you guys did. It is not the asshole. You just met a school of mean girls. There is no telling what such people will get up to. I think you had taken every possible precaution with your outfit. In fact, much more than most people would have. And OP does respond to them and goes...

And that was such a cultural shock for me. Hospitality being one of the highest virtues is an idea that's hammered into us as kids. Not even exaggerating, we're taught, quote, guests are akin to God. So it was unsettling to have the host and her friends be so obvious with their disdain. That's half the reason I didn't even react to any of it.

The other half being the cultural commonality of it being inappropriate to get confrontational and create a scene at a wedding. I really feel for her. She's in this outfit at this wedding and people are just being mean to her. I feel so bad for her. Yeah. Okay. And now I just feel so much more confident that this had to do with like an attention thing. I think so. And the mother-in-law and she really stood out and, you know, she's...

has a connection to the groom just being like culturally that the bride doesn't have. Yeah, maybe there's an insecurity there. Yeah, there could be it too. And I think, you know, you get all these girls together in a room doing hair and makeup, drinking. It can get really catty. One girl says something, another girl starts gassing her up. This feels racist. No, I could see it. Could be? It could be an undertone, like some...

internalized racism. But it's like, again, like if you had a problem with the sari, the color, you had your out. Your mother-in-law is also in a sari. There's no excuse. Like you're also marrying likely an Indian man. Like, yeah.

Get over it, girl. She did nothing wrong. She did every single thing right. No. And there's lots of comments from our OP clarifying the color is a medium blue gray, not close to white or any shade of cream. Sure. Well, can we also say people see dress colors differently? Let's never forget. Black, gold, blue, black, blue, black and gold and white. Color theory is she could just tell them like you're seeing this the wrong color. Yeah. You're not even seeing this for what it is. This dress is purple. Yeah.

Maybe the bride is colorblind. He's gaslighting everybody. No, but for real. His dress is brown. Yeah. A lot of other comments like, I'm Indian, born and brought up American, and I approve of your sari. So this bride just is an asshole. Yeah, and it sounds like her friends were just also like gassing her up and being kind of mean. I don't really, I can't relate to it. I don't have friends like this anymore that like are just like mean girls want to tear other people down. I don't like it. Like I just, it's not for me. Well, it's so crazy because

Unless the bride was lying to her friends that she had approved this. You know what I mean? I think she did. Right. Definitely. Like as a friend, like you're in the wedding party. And my first question would be like,

Did you know she was going to wear that? You know, she just probably totally omitted that information. Yes. We hate her. Yes. You're so right. If the bride was like, I didn't know anything about this. She lied. All those girls are sitting around. Yeah. Well, and she like, I don't even know what there's a reason to be upset about either. It's like she's maybe in a couple pictures and you put her on the end. If you want her out of the picture so bad, there's a fucking crop feature. Yeah.

I went to a wedding with my ex and the photographer asked him to stand on the end just in case people broke up. I love that. Non-married couples. You got to do that. Family gatherings. Yeah. And we were all making fun of my brother's girlfriend at the time. We're like, you got to get on the end too. And they've been married for seven years and my ex and I broke up.

We were like, you got to get on the end of the photo. You're probably not going to be here. I want everyone in my wedding to wear white and like beige. And I want to wear red. Like the way to stand out to me is just like everyone is in beige. And I'm like, bam. I mean, that's personal preference. I love it. I respect people that want to do the whole white thing. And I'm considering putting my bridesmaids in white. You are? Where are you getting married? In Minnesota.

Is that where you're from? Yep. On my family farm. What? Like actually a farm, you guys. So like the cowboy house. I have a family farm. Yeah. I'm not like my family, like my grandfather's a farmer. My parents live on one of the farms now. Just a big, nice 300 acre farm. Okay. You got it.

You got land. I know. I want everybody to come there and build houses. Like I picture it like Margaritaville. I'm going to do like a swim up bar. And I feel like we could really pitch this. Yeah. Like a commune to get everybody there. Yeah. And we just all grow old together. Family compound. So you and your fiance are so cute. I was looking at your photos. Thank you. Yeah. So it's going to be on the farm. I'm going to have like carnival games and rides. What?

It's going to involve hats. What? Yeah. I joke like I want a hillbilly hoedown. It's this Western theme. That is amazing. She's like, as somebody who is part of the culture of Western weddings. Look at Sidney Sweeney's dad's party for inspo. I'm kidding.

I definitely won't go that way. You should get a Ferris wheel. I'm going to. What are you saying? Yeah, or either a Ferris wheel or that one ride. It's called the zipper. It goes up and down and just kind of like catapults you. That's insane. People are going to be throwing up at your wedding. You're throwing a carnival. I'm going to hit the open bar. You know some like uncle is going to be wasted and throwing up on that carnival ride. Definitely. Just keep me out of shot. Somebody gets fingered on the merry-go-round. Yeah, totally. That's my goal. I want a lot of people to like celebrate love in every way they find appropriate. Can we?

That sounds so fun. You guys can come. Literally, everyone's invited. I'm just making it crazy. We missed this.

likely fall of 2025 okay yeah you got to set the carnival it's gonna take some time i gotta build my venue what kind of um farm does your do they have animals or they just we i grew up with horses okay so it's like a smaller hobby farm but like there's gonna be a petting zoo so you'll meet some ponies oh my god maybe a camel so it's gonna be a thing that's so fun also we like performing there we could be the entertainment at your show okay there we go that might upstage the rock brain is like we

It's like we would love to headline your wedding if you don't mind. Maybe I'll consider it. Now I'm scared. Also part of the rider is that we have to wear white. I would love to wear white. I'll see what we can do. Okay. This next one is coming from the best of Redditor updates. The original post is pretty vintage. It's coming from 2014. Oh, we love a deep cut. Where were you back then?

I lived in New York in life. Yeah. I was my second year of college, University of Minnesota. Feels like forever ago. Oh, I was like a full grown adult. Like we're so much older than you. I was in Atlanta. Okay. And 2014 was the year I started this Instagram account that like totally blew up and it was called Bros Being Basic. And it was just like, it's still around. It's just kind of defunct, but it got to like close to a million followers. And it was like

I just, that year is very special to me. It's like when I hit something big, you know, like I'd started doing standup and I was blogging and I was doing social media. I was like an influencer for lack of a better word. That word wasn't even really a thing at the time, but that was like towards the end of 2014 is when this thing like took off. And I was like, I have the thing, you know, and that was able, um, we were able to leverage the podcast and promote it on that account. I need this account to make a really hard comeback. I know. I've thought about sometimes I go back and look, I'm like, damn, that was

It was pretty good. In 2014, I can't remember if it was 2013 or 2014. I worked for Groupon. I worked for a startup that Groupon purchased. So I worked in tech and I was engaged. I was going to get married. That 2014? I can't remember if it was 2013 or 2014. I was engaged. My wedding was happening and I had never met Ashley. I didn't even have an Instagram account yet. And

And Beyonce and I split up. I started this food Instagram account, which like I was one of the first and biggest because it wasn't really big food on Instagram at that time. Now everybody on earth is a food Instagram. Right. But back then. Mine was a meme account. It's the same thing. There was like three. It was like fuck Jerry and Fat Jewish and Betches or whatever. But anyway. It was weird to like take photos of your food back then. I remember everybody was annoyed with me all the time. And I was like, you'll see.

I just read a story about a girl who's like taking pictures of food and got her first invite from a restaurant and her boyfriend was hating on her. So, you're a success story. And that's, we met through having these accounts. Exactly. And we met on an influencer trip we were invited on because of our accounts. Yeah. Oh,

Thanks for asking what we were doing in 2014. I love that. Holy shit. That's crazy. 10 years ago. Yeah. Maybe I'll research Bros Being Basic 10 years, 10 years later. It's a 10-year anniversary. It's time. I would love this. I love that title too, Bros Being Basic.

It was funny. It was like guys mimicking girls. So Basic came out in 2014. That word, I know it's like so common now in our language, but that was like the first, you know, this was back 2014, BuzzFeed ruled the internet. It was the seventh most popular site in the whole world of the internet. That's so crazy. And like that whole Basic started with girls and their PSLs and the Uggs and-

the scarves and all the things. The hunter rain boots. Yes. So that was like, I did basically had guys kind of like doing all the basic things girls do. And it just kind of like morphed into a meme account. And I worked with brands for years and all that, but it was like, that was the start of it. I absolutely love that. That's so cool. Okay. We're getting, we're getting a little weird with this one. Okay. So it is titled my boyfriend's sister filled my yard with gnomes.

I got rid of them after two months. Boyfriend's furious. So me, 26 female, boyfriend is 27 male, and his sister is 28 female. I'm not sure what to do. My boyfriend's sister, Chrissy, pulled a prank on me two months ago. She left about 50 gnomes in my front yard. No warning. They were just there. I called people up and asked them, but no one would tell me. I guess this is a part of the prank.

I fucking had no clue what was going on. Eventually, the kids in the neighborhood started picking them off one by one. So I brought them inside of my garage.

Two of them were pretty cute, so I cleaned them up and put them in my house. I waited for someone to come clean, but no one did. After three weeks, I decided I was just going to donate them. A few friends asked if they could have some, and I let them. I started giving them to people who commented on one being interesting or cute. I told my boyfriend about my army, and he laughed. I thought he might have done it, but he said he honestly didn't, so I believed him.

Well, he went on a four-week trip with his family to Europe. I got a few emails from him, but we were both busy. I went on a trip myself for work and for pleasure. So when he got back, he asked how the gnomes were treating me, and I let him know that most of them had found new homes. She rehomed the gnomes? Not the rehomed the gnomes. He got really silent.

He got really silent and asked how many I had left. I told him 10. He asked who took them and said we needed to get them back. I was confused. It had been two months and the gnomes were kind of a funny story, but I don't remember everyone who took one, let alone the kids who picked off about 10 from the front lawn.

He then told me they belonged to Chrissy, who thought I had just stored them in my garage, which is why she didn't pick them up before the big trip. Chrissy is his sister. Apparently Chrissy has been pulling the gnome army prank for years, and I am the bitch who gave away her army.

My boyfriend is furious with me and asked why I would do that. I told him he should have come clean and I would have just kept them in my garage for her to pick them up later. He said it wasn't how the prank worked. He said he needs to rethink the relationship now. She needs to rethink the relationship. Do not get into this family. I'm so mad. He wants me to get them back.

As they are dear to Chrissy. Fuck Chrissy. Chrissy. Chrissy, suck my dick. Chrissy is psychotic. I cannot. Chrissy should be with the hike guy. Fuck.

Chrissy doesn't know yet. I'm not sure what to do about this. I had a few people offer to return their gnomes, but the rest of the people said they gave them away to so-and-so and didn't know where they were now. This is such a surreal situation. I have no fucking clue what to do about it. I don't see how I was wrong, but I feel bad. No. What can I do? I am furious. I feel so mad about this. Like, if you prank someone with...

Like 24 hours, get this shit out of here unless someone fesses up and tells you to keep it. That is so crazy. As much as I remember, I also like New Yorkers at heart. We hate fucking stuff. Get your stuff out of here. The fact that she even put them in the garage. Now you're taking up my space. Like,

It is such an offense to put all that garbage on... No offense to the gnomes or whatever, but to put all that garbage in something and expect them to house it for two months, for anything longer than a day. I don't understand this fucking prank. That's charge rent worthy. Right. Why...

they tell her before. This is so bizarre. I've never heard of this in my life. You're just going to trash up my front lawn and you think this isn't going into garbage bags and into the trash tomorrow. It would never even occur to me to save that longer than 24 hours. Like under any circumstances, I would laugh. I take a few photos. You have junked up my whole house and you have to fess up in 24 to 48 hours. I'm throwing this away. I can't even imagine having like an actual conversation about this. Like once I threw that away, if my boyfriend was like, I can't believe

That was my sister's. And I'd be like, you take it up with her then. Don't even talk to me about this. Is this a test? Are they testing her? Like, what is this weirdo fucking family? Like, the gnome thing is whack as hell, but it's fine. Raina and I were talking about this. Like, people do different things. They like to prank. They like to play tricks. I hate pranks. Right. But like, you find your partner that does. You find friends that are into it. It's like, whatever. Live your truth. But,

If that was like my boyfriend's weirdo fucking sister and she, this is what she does. Fine. And it's, I'll play into it, but to expect me to keep them, this is honestly so unhinged. And I would absolutely be like done with that relationship. The only way that this relationship could be saved is if my, if my boyfriend was like, she's a fucking nut job and I feel you on this. And he was like on my side about it. But if he's taking her side and he's like, you got to do the legwork now to get these gnomes back. I'd be like, this is over. I,

I totally agree with you. I don't even know what she's being accused of. Do you know what I mean? On the grounds of what? She is wasteful. She's an asshole. She's not a hoarder and he would like her to be more of one. What is he mad at her about? On the grounds of what? I think giving away the gnomes without permission. But the thing is with this...

There was a timeline when it was appropriate to notify like, hey, this was a prank. It was definitely the 24 to 48 hour window before they started disappearing or it became a big issue. But two months later, that's when this becomes like, hey, you abandoned your property after a certain number of days. It is now mine to like get rid of. I'm not sending one text message on behalf of this prank. I am not asking one person for the gnomes back.

You know me. I like my house to look like no one's ever lived there. I want it to look like I moved in today. It's a hotel room. Also, let me... It's a hotel, not a house. Her and her partner, I would assume, you know, most...

Talk about what's going on in your life. Like, there's absolutely no way they didn't have conversations about these fucking gnomes in those two months where the boyfriend could have been like, Chrissy, listen, I think she's trying to get rid of these gnomes. You know, like, she had to have been telling her boyfriend they got these gnomes in the yard. A couple kids are taking them. Now they're in the garage. Like, all these opportunities for her brother to step in. Yeah. Sorry, for her boyfriend to step in on behalf of his sister. Yeah. It also sounds like they're not that communicative. He went on a month-long trip to Europe with his family, which they sound ridiculous.

rich and can you imagine spending a month with your family it's so weird this is so weirdo rich people these fucking gnomes all of it also if you can afford a month-long trip with multiple of your kids in Europe you can afford more gnomes so just this isn't a money issue but she said that she didn't hear from him that much like over the mind a couple of emails like I like I need so much attention it's unbelievable I'm

dating you it is text message text message we're laughing about the gnomes like it sounds like he's not even that communicative with her in the first place that and even when he was approached and said hey like you know these gnomes are disappearing from the front yard kids are stealing them did you do it like seriously like did you do it yeah he said i honestly didn't yeah

If you knew that your sister pulled this prank and was going to want them back and was going to want them back and it was like a recurring thing so she needs her gnomes. Right, it's like a thing. You better come clean right now. Yeah. Hey, I really didn't do it but Chris,

Chrissy did. Just don't tell her. It's a part of her thing. Just put them in the garage. Chrissy did. Like, this is your partner. Have their back. The OP is so far from the asshole here. Like, just she tried so hard to get to the bottom of this. She has gone above and beyond with these fucking gnomes.

Like, this is crazy to me. Rainn and I would call a fucking garbage disposal person after 48 hours, get this shit out of my yard, take it to the dump. Like, get it out of here. It's so crazy to prank someone where you are creating work for them. Yeah. Where they have to clean your shit up. Totally. You know? You know what I just discovered recently that I love?

curb alert i have posted so many curb alerts to get rid of the craziest shit i had like a drawer a drawer for an ikea packs from like ikea okay and i didn't want to throw it away it felt wasteful so i posted it on offer up said curb alert here's the address it disappeared in 20 minutes you just put outside oh i love that put it outside and then it's going to like good homes but you're not throwing it away she could have curb alerted a hundred percent totally and that would have been fair but you guys we have an update oh my god

We have an update. 10 years later. I'm so excited. By the way, can I say one more thing? Yeah. I would just be at an impasse with my partner. I would just be like, this is going to be a five minute conversation and this is the end of it. Okay. So I'm very excited for that. Just wait. For the update. What? Just wait. I'm not ready. I just got chills. I'm so excited.

So the top comment on the original post, they have no reason to try and hold you accountable for not following the unreasonable rules of the game you didn't even know about. Give back the gnomes you have, but don't feel like you have to act. Oh, my God. This is such a big word.

acquiesce. Acquiesce. Acquiesce. Thank you. And go out of your way to try to recover the gnomes that are lost. That's not your business. They left a bunch of stuff on somebody else's property unannounced and unidentified, and you shouldn't be blamed for cleaning up your property. Same rational thought we had. Rational, yeah. OP goes, I am willing to give back the ones I have and have gotten three back from other people. I cannot believe it.

So the update is coming about 12 days later. I decided to bite the bullet and talk to Chrissy. I brought the gnomes I had to her house and knocked on the door. Chrissy's mom answered and asked me to come in. I was tired of the immaturity and mind games. My boyfriend had been sending me threatening messages

quote, get me more gnomes, bitch type text. I could see a lot of red flags or red hats if you are so inclined. I wanted Chrissy to have her gnomes back and just get it over with. When I handed Mrs. Mom the open box, she asked where I got these.

She seemed really upset I even had them. I told her the story, pretty much what I said in the post, but with some more detail. Her reply was, Joe has been telling a totally different story. Joe's the boyfriend. Chills.

She seemed really hurt about the whole thing. And while I wanted to make a quick getaway, I was fucking curious. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah. Mrs. Mom told me a little bit of the background. I'm not going to repeat everything she said because some of it is sad and pathetic and a little too dark for a post about a gnome invasion. The gnome army belonged to Chrissy's late boyfriend, Steve.

Steve and Chrissy used to put them in people's yards and then demand another member for their army. So the gnomes came from people Steve and Chrissy knew over a period of about five years. Steve passed away. Chrissy stopped the gnome pranks and put them into storage. She has not pulled the prank in almost two years now, but freaks out if someone mentions getting rid of the gnomes or even moving the box.

I felt like an asshole, but Mrs. Mom thanked me for bringing some of them back. She did say the annoying line, you should have kept them even if you didn't know who they belonged to. She did say she was going to replace the gnomes in the boxes with other ones and hope Chrissy didn't notice. Not sure that was a smart idea. She said she wanted to believe me, but that this is likely the last time she would want me in her house. Gee, thanks.

the more reason for the boyfriend to have stopped her from throwing this is all his fault but Chrissy did do the gnome prank right she just kind of she got back in the game after two years no no the boyfriend do the gnome prank that's what I'm saying yep what Chrissy didn't do it Chrissy didn't do it I said that was fine I had no intention of staying in a family who pulled weird pranks then blamed the victims one bridge burned

I mean, I understand she's likely upset because Chrissy apparently doesn't handle any mention of Steve well. She is likely going to be upset and never speak to the person at fault again, which is likely me. How I got them out of storage unit three hours away? The mystery will likely haunt their family for years. As for my now ex-boyfriend, I went to his house and asked him why he pulled the prank. His answer was stupid and telling. I don't know.

Oh, okay. This is so weird. Yeah.

Jake agreed to this and said Joe's story was bullshit. I guess Joe told people I got the gnomes out of storage and put them in the yard to get attention. That totally makes sense, right? I guess it was spiteful to do, but I sent Chrissy a message on Facebook saying,

Chrissy, I don't think we'll be friends after this. I know you want to believe your brother, but I did not take your gnomes. I did not know that they were in my yard or even that you had them. Please understand, I would never aim to hurt, steal, or take from you. Your brother admitted to putting them in my yard, though I have no idea why he did it. I got an okay back, and then she blocked me. I blocked Joe and his family. I'm not sure what to do now, but it has been a really interesting few weeks for sure."

Where is Netflix with this documentary? I am riveted. Joe is a fucking psycho. This is crazy. If he turns out to be a serial killer, I would not be surprised. That is sick. Like, it's so sick because, like, those were sentimental to Chrissy's late boyfriend. And he just was all willy-nilly with him in the first place when he took him out of storage. Like, I am so...

sickened by this this is like the only thing she had listen it's stupid because we're talking about no no no no it's not what she had left of her relationship and the person that she loved and he created a situation in which his girlfriend gave them away and he could have stopped her at any point yeah

At any point at all. At two months. Like this guy's really scary. Yes. And really fucked up and has like issues. I think that he did this. He thought it would be funny. On what grounds? It's so crazy. It's so sick and so weird. I don't know why he thinks this would be funny, but like he thinks it'd be funny and he's already made up the lie. As soon as it came out of his mouth that it was Chrissy that did it, now he's like in the lie, can't back out of it. And to keep doubling down is so sick and so crazy. And when I found out that somebody had given these away, I would have to be like, I gotta come clean. Yeah.

Well, it's so nuts to even tamper with something that sentimental. Like Raina, you know me. My heart dropped out. Like I'm literally thinking if my boyfriend died and like we had these things, you know, and like they don't, you can't touch them. You can't touch those gnomes. Like that's so crazy. It makes me feel sick that somebody would like touch anything of mine that was a sentimental thing that somebody who passed away in my life had given me.

Well, and- I feel like sick about it for this sister. And then she has this shitty fucking brother who she believes? They're so- But hold on. But like, what-

What do you mean believe? Like, how else would this girl have gotten the gnomes? Like, Chrissy has to know the brother did it. I don't think Chrissy believes our writer here. I think Chrissy genuinely believes that this person was out to hurt them. That's why she gave the gnomes away. They were in a storage unit? They were in a storage unit three hours away. How would this girl have gotten into... even known of its existence without the brother? She didn't even know about the gnomes. Otherwise...

you would have known who the prank was done by. Well, all I'm saying is Chrissy has to know that the brother did it. Like, how else? She didn't break into the store. I don't know. That's what I'm saying. Like, how else would she have known about the existence of this, where it was, or how to get her? Yeah, like, the brother is still at fault for touching him and doing this in the first place. But I don't know. The brother definitely has a screw loose. And, like, here's what's so sad about this. He knew the background. Yeah.

He knew that this was Chrissy and Steve's thing. They dated for at least five years because that's how long they collected the gnomes, but they could have been together longer. After five years of being with someone, you probably plan on marrying them. So she lost the love of her life. He then, knowing this and how sentimental they were, broke into the storage unit, put them out on a front lawn,

People's dogs get stolen out of front yards. What about a fucking gnome that's not chained or tied up or anything? Right. And it's very ostentatious. You see 50 of them. You're stopping. You're looking. I mean, the kids started running off with them. Like these are uncontrollable external variables that you didn't account for, that you didn't even like rationalize. Like,

hope for the best but expect the worst dude so you just intentionally hurt your sister no matter how funny or fun you wanted this to be I'm just trying to even envision like a mother son relationship in which the mother is just like I don't basically I don't believe you and get out of this house yeah like how would this girl have come by this box of gnomes without your son walking her to them come on come on let's put two and two together mm-hmm

It's crazy. I was not kidding where I said Netflix should cover this. We know the guys who made Tiger King. And so honestly, we should stick them on these domes. Yeah. Well, I just hope this gets back to Chrissy. Like granted, this is 10 years old now. But what if Chrissy is still out there thinking that

her brother didn't do this. What if Chrissy is listening right now? Chrissy, if you're out there, I'm sorry about what we said before where I told you to suck my dick. You didn't know. We didn't know, Chrissy. We didn't know. We didn't know. But now, obviously, I just... What she dealt with, like...

things like that like keep me up at night like I don't think there are many things worse than like losing a partner that you were like you lose your whole you know the life that you thought you were gonna live so I mean what if you lost me I think about you dying all the time I think about dying daily

I never use the word struggle. I knew this was going to come up again. It's hard to be in business with anybody for six years and I stand by it. Except Ashley is what you should have said. Except Ashley. I am really blessed. It is tough. Totally kidding. And I do appreciate every day. We're going to have a fight as soon as we leave. No, you guys are so close. No, we are. We are so close. I don't care at all. She's a dream business partner. No, I'm a bitch. That's good sometimes.

All right. Anyway. Everyone needs the good cop, bad cop. So you balance. I like when I get to be bad cop. No one sees a bad cop more than you think because I think people think it's coming for me. You seem scrappy. I looked the team up yesterday and I felt good. I was like, don't explain it to me now, but Monday you will. No, I think if this girl, if Chrissy was so willing to not

I think if Chrissy thought this girl was lying then, she's going to think the girl's lying now. The girl, like, nothing has changed, essentially. Like, seeing it on Reddit is not going to change my opinion if I am so sold on the fact that my brother is honest. But, like, Chrissy's dealing with a lot, you know? Yeah. And she doesn't want to believe a solid about her brother. You know, a lot of it's just like, I can't handle this right now. Like, I don't want to, well, I don't want to think that my brother would do something this dangerous

disgusting. I don't know why. Like, I just got to not, I, I, for me to move on, like I've lost my partner. I don't want to lose my brother or, you know, the image of him. Like I, she's probably just like, I can't fucking deal with this. And I, yeah, it may, it might not even be that it might not even be like, this girl's a liar. I'm blocking her. It might just be like, I don't have the capacity to think about my brother doing something like this. Right. And I remember the he's 27, right?

In this scenario, I think he was like 26, 27, 28. So if you told me that like this was a 16 year old boy who didn't really understand like the ramifications of their actions in the world and they're just doing shit to do shit. I could I couldn't understand it, but I guess I could be like, ah, more. I see how maybe this can happen. Yeah.

But and then, you know, you know, when you're in high school, you're like, oh, my God, did this thing. My life is over. I do not know how to get out of it. I'm just going to lie to get out of it. You know, but these are adults that 27. They understand the ramifications of their actions at this point. Yeah. There's no excuse. I hope she's doing better now. But I think that was probably mental preservation. Like, I just can't take one more thing. Yeah. So, like, it's done. Yeah.

I can't hate my brother the rest of my life. So like, I'm just, you know, ignorance is bliss. I'm going to blame this girl. And honestly, that's like a totally understandable emotion is like, I cannot hate my brother. I am going to hate you. And I think a lot of people would go that road. Yeah. So unfortunately. Moving along. Okay. We're going to lighten this next one up a little bit. Okay, good.

Do you guys ever fight about who the it girl is? I mean, we've talked about having to make decisions 50-50, but... Between us? Yeah. Is there anyone that maybe gets 51% or is it... I think we both are it girls in our own right. Okay. Yeah. Here we go. We don't... People don't even compare us. We're like a foot apart. I'm a foot short of her. We have huge boobs. She has long legs. Yeah. I think we each have our own thing. We've never been like attracted to the same guy. Oh, yeah. That's what keeps us best friends. I mean, I find her boyfriend really attractive. He is a very handsome man, but we've never been attracted to the

Well, here we go. Here we go now. We have completely different tastes. I honestly think it's like the number one quality of best friends. The cornerstone of our relationship. Never wanted to fuck the same person. I like that. One time. One time, but we didn't really. Listen, that's just from afar. But I did fuck him. She did fuck him. And I've never gotten over it. And that is why today, it's been really hard being in business with her all these years. Because she fucked some guy in February of 2022. And I'm still mad about it.

Oh my God, it's the two-year anniversary. Can you imagine? It was like right now. It was around Valentine's Day. It was around this time, yeah. Oh my God. I had some other tail though, so it's fine. Not the tail. It's all good. Okay, so this next one is titled, Am I the Asshole for Telling My Sister She's No Longer the It Girl? Sister-sister relationship. I don't want it. Are you, what are your siblings? I have an older brother, a younger brother, and younger sister. Oh my God.

But we have like a weird household. Like my sister's from my dad and my brothers are from my mom. Got it. We all have different dads and it's just like a clusterfuck of a family tree. How much older are you than the sister? Eight years. Okay. I think, you know, you have that, those issues when you're really close in age. My sister-in-law and her sister are like two years apart. Oh my God. I would not want that. We don't have issues.

No! I'm sure that's not true. Yeah.

When people saw us together, they would get really surprised. They would often ask us whether we have the same dad or not. On top of that, I always felt like my sister was ashamed of me. She never wanted to take me anywhere or wouldn't like being seen with me. She even told me it's because people ask her questions about me. The thing that really annoyed me was when her friends would make fun of me. They would often call me the little goblin and my sister would never stick up for me.

She's really describing her ugliness like a disability. I mean, she's really like, this is hindered by life. Like, I'm so ugly. You guys wouldn't believe it. I gotta see a picture. Like, was it that bad? I don't know yet. Like, the sister won't even blame you? That's bad. If she has some love for life, is she a comedian now? I bet she's funny. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyways, since I knew from a young age people wouldn't like me for my looks, I always worked hard on my grades. I went to a good university. Then I worked on my looks. I gained weight, got a hair care routine, got a nose job, and got braces. Oh, my God. Now I look 7 out of 10.

My sister's life, on the other hand, didn't go so well. She went to university, dropped out, got married and divorced, and moved back at home and works in a market. She also gained a lot of weight because of the stress. This summer, she called me asking whether she could come and stay with me and my fiance for a while. She told me that she cannot live with my mom anymore and there is nothing to do in our small town. I agreed and she started living with us.

The issue is, whenever she gets the chance, she talks about our past. She says how much I changed myself and tells everyone my looks weren't always great. And the other day, we were out with my friends, and she did it again. But she also showed the most unflattering childhood picture of me, and people started laughing. Oh, no. I don't know what happened, but I started seeing red.

I told her she also looks really different now, like 40 pounds heavier. She is also no longer the it girl, so she should stop acting that way. She is the girl who lives at her sister's house rent-free and tries to embarrass her. We are currently not talking. So Reddit, am I the asshole?

I like feel for the sister so much because like so much of her confidence was tied to having this identity and it's like no longer there anymore. And then you have this person, the closest person to you that like has assumed that identity almost and like has a fiance and you're divorced. Like I get it, but that you have to go to therapy and understand that other people can't be the target of that. No, that's karma.

Fuck this. She wouldn't claim her all the time? Like, when they were sisters when they were younger? No, this is exactly what she gets. I love this story. I don't feel for her at all. Like, this is what you get. You should have been a better sister. But, I mean, all of it tracks, you know, like, every single thing about this. Like, that's all she has left. She's so...

she's got to be so jealous of the younger sister. And so all she has when they're like out with the friends is to like embarrass her and remind people that she used to be ugly and remind people that she used to be the hot sister. I mean, it's giving very like, you know, person who peaked in high school energy, you know, it's giving Uncle Rico, like I could throw the ball over those mountains, you know, like I used to be hot too. And now I'm just like,

you know, loser who lives with my younger sister. Yeah. Not that it's like a losery to have to move back in with somebody and get divorced. That's not what I'm saying. But clearly that's how she feels about herself. Yeah. So she's projecting that onto her younger sister. And I just I want to give props to this younger sister. I mean, it's so sad to go through life, you know, being bullied for your looks and when you're younger and it affects people in such a way. And for her to be like,

Where she is now and she's feeling confident and she's engaged or married or whatever. I mean, it's just I want to give props to her. And she probably I'm sure she has.

she's smart and aware enough to realize like what's happening here yeah I think so but you can tell there's still like a little bit of a chip on her shoulder like she's still very self-conscious like to say like I'm a 7 out of 10 yeah like that's still sad yeah but like I I would see red too like I think this is so frustrating when you move to a new city you create this new life this new identity for yourself you're trying to embrace your confidence and all of these things

And then your sister pulls up the most grotesque, unflattering picture and your friends start laughing. Yeah. You're right back to where you were. Right. It's re-triggering from when you were a child. You know, it isn't like some random person doing it, in which case I'd be like, I don't care about this. It's your family. They're supposed to be protective of you. And I'd be like, I see what you're doing here. You're only embarrassing yourself, by the way. You look stupid by trying to make me look stupid. You're just hanging on to like how you used to look. Well, joke's on you. You don't look like that anymore.

Go off. I just, I can, I under, like they say when you are really heavy and you lose a lot of weight that you're still always that fat person. You never lose the feeling inside of being that like ugly girl when you were little. And so this is probably very triggering for her. It made me sad when she said she was a seven because also looks don't matter. And on top of that, like it sounds like she built a great life for herself. Yeah. And I'm not trying to have the person supposed to stand up for me trying to humiliate me to other people. And you're shopping this photo around. So,

Then what? People are supposed to think what about me? I was an ugly kid. Who cares? Well, so I don't care about stuff like that. Like people pull up ugly photos of me. I think it's like very funny, but clearly it was so traumatic. You know what I mean? It was also meant to. The intention. Yeah. Like if, you know. You must not have very many ugly pictures of you. I do. Oh, we both do. I just don't.

I don't, I don't, I knew that I was like, I talk about all the time that I was like an ugly kid and like, well, all this stuff. And I think it depends on who's showing that type of thing. Like my brother will pull photos of his wife, um,

because he thinks she's the most beautiful woman in the world. But she has had a glow up. So he'll be like, look at Steph. And he's like making fun and Steph's laughing too. Like I think looking at people, because also the time we grew up, we just didn't have the things that kids have the luxury of today. Like we were all so busted, you know, and like I'll show pictures of my old face, my old nose, and I'll be like, oh my God. And then my friends are like, it wasn't that bad. I'm like, well, you can say it's bad. Like I'm making

I thought of myself too, but I wasn't that traumatized. Like those old photos are so re-traumatizing for her. They're not like a funny thing to laugh and joke about. She clearly does not have a good sense of humor about it yet or if ever, which is also totally understandable. So yeah. And the intention is to embarrass her. Like when your brother is showing those photos of,

his wife who is a smoke show. It's out of love. It's funny. Everyone's in it. She's in on the joke. You know, this is meant to make me feel bad. And you're using something I already feel bad about to make me feel bad. Yeah. I mean, if I got called Dobby and Goblin and my sister didn't defend me and then is then like bringing it up with old pictures, like I got some really bad old pictures and I'm like, I'm a horse girl. So like,

I was a weird child. So, like, if that got brought up now and people started laughing, I'd cry. Like, this is not a safe space to, like, laugh together. And it's clearly coming from a place of ill intention. Well, and it's crazy that the sister is doing this knowing how she treated her when they were younger. You know? Like, she...

It's just doubling down. Like you think when you know you treated your sibling so poorly when you were younger, like you'd always be trying to make amends. You know, this is like the exact opposite of what you'd be doing. Yeah. I know these two girls. The sister is two to three years younger than the front. My friend is two or three years younger. She is by all accounts prettier, more likable, has a great marriage. The older sister is

Not those things. And the older sister, I see her pick on her all the time. And she takes the bait every single time. But I think it's just like really triggering from like how they grew up. Because I'm just like,

who are you taking the bait from this bullshit for? Yeah. It's crazy, but like these family dynamics are hard to stray from. And if you've like been in this for your whole life, it's hard to like act like you don't care. And it's so easy to take the bait when it's right in front of you. Well, in your family. Yeah. Like they just, family, I feel like gets to you in a different way. They trigger you in a whole different way. Like we always say, there's like,

someone could say something or do something to you and your family member or your close friend would do it. There's hits completely different. Oh, yeah. So lots of comments on this one. I want to see what people are saying. Obviously, overall vote, not the asshole. Yeah. Did get some you're the asshole comments though, but

People were quick to chime in and just be like, you're doing your sister a favor by letting her stay with you and your fiance. For her to make passive aggressive comments and try to belittle you in front of your friends is completely out of line. You are completely justified in calling her out and putting her in her place following such remarks. And to be clear, OP, I hope you recognize that your sister is only saying these things because she is jealous of you. Yeah.

How attractive or popular you were or were not in adolescence has absolutely no bearing on your life now as an adult. Your social status in high school only matters while you were in high school. For your sister to even care enough to bring that up now as an adult is nothing short of pathetic. You were right to call her out on that. And I hope you are enjoying living your best life as an adult, which is what really counts. Yeah, and I hope she knows that.

I hope younger sister knows that it is out of jealousy and can get to a place where she just feels bad. You know, you feel sympathy for those people because you know where it's coming from and you know you would never act like that and you get to pat yourself on the back and be like...

you know, how far she's fallen from grace, you know, and have some sympathy and almost like some pity actually. And just know that it has nothing to do with her. It has everything to do with her sister. Absolutely. I do have sympathy for the sister and what has happened to her. I don't have sympathy for how she's behaving. Like, yeah. What's that quote? How you are is not your fault, but it is your responsibility or what's happened to you is not your fault, but it is your responsibility. Like,

I feel bad for her that she's like a lot of my currency in the world revolved around how I looked and I don't have that anymore. And I understand being bitter about that and feeling really bad about the hand that life dealt you. But anything past that being unkind to other people because of that, I don't understand. Yeah. And Opie does make a comment. The thing is, my sister is not ugly now. She's still very pretty, but just chubbier.

And I think there's what, like probably the majority of us out there. I'm not as tiny as I was in high school. Do I let that change how I treat people? Do I belittle people? Like, no. Gaining 30 pounds or 40 pounds. Honestly, I've probably gained like 50 pounds since high school. Like-

That doesn't change who I am as a person unless you make it your whole identity and then you are just a bitch to everyone because of it. Yeah. And to me, like, I kind of didn't even... The weight thing was less on my radar as the divorce, having to move back in with your little sister. You know, as, like, she's clearly... Got some chips. Even take the weight out of it. She's just...

feeling so down and down on herself and so insecure like all around. Definitely. Well, hopefully she gets over it.

gets over the hump, gets back on her feet, doesn't live with sister. I get so invested in these and I need updates. I know. And I want to stay, like, I won't need to, this is almost why I don't like, I can't handle some, like, mysteries and true crimes if they're, like, unsolved. Like, Reyna will tell me, she's like, you're not going to like it because they don't, like, button it up at the end. Unsolved mysteries? Remember when they re-released that? I was like, this is bullshit. Yeah.

I can't do the unsolved ones. I like need to have a conclusion. I'm the person though. Like I skipped to the end of the movie or like the book sometimes, or I'll Google it mid movie because it's just like, I need to know. I feel like I've not found like my soulmate in this world like this before. And like, I'm reading this book, it's called 20 years later. And I saw that the last two pages, they like explain how the murder went down and I know I have not. And it has been the hardest thing for me to do in my entire life because I will read the last page of a book

All the time. Morgan, she's your Reina soulmate now. She hadn't found it until now, even though she told me it was me. Television soulmate. I never, we are not television soulmates. And you know that. You don't like The Sopranos or Batman or The Office. Oh, television soulmate. No, I don't like it. Reina loves a spoiler and I don't.

I like, I think there's not a lot of surprises left in life. So I really do. Tessa, our assistant, what did you say? Was it love is blind? We were all texting about love is blind the other night and I texted Ashley and I go, don't read what Tessa just said. She sent a spoiler. Well, and Tessa's also like, so she knows everything. She's a spoiler.

queen. So she has them all locked and loaded. So if you want to know anything, she's like, I've already checked the marriage licenses for this state. She knows every... And she knows The Bachelor. Oh, they're kind of a little smooth. Yeah. I think... Different generation. So Reina can go to her if she needs... You don't need to read the gossip blogs. You just go to Tessa. I do just go to Tessa. I'm like voicemailing her about this stuff. And I'm like, do not talk about this in front of me. Incredible. I accidentally give a lot of spoilers. So I try not to do that. But another one, if you really want to test your ability to

not guess everything that's going on and be surprised at the ending. Don't skip ahead. Do not skip ahead. Fool me once on Netflix. Wait, did I see that? It's a little cheesy. It's like... I stopped watching it. The husband kind of like comes back. She sees him on the camera. I stopped watching it after one episode. Did you like it? It gets good. It was cheesy. It was a little corny. It's definitely like a cheesy...

production editing. Uh-huh. But like, you get into it. I like a thriller. Yeah. Well, you were talking with Hannah on your episode about American Nightmare, which was like, we were obsessed with. So good. And they really did button everything up. And they even, you know, for lack of, clearly what happened to these people was like a true nightmare, so traumatic. But there was like a little bit of a happy ending at the end. Like that was actually my, I don't really do a lot of crime. That stuff kind of keeps me up at night. I live alone. So things like that scare me. But they were able to kind of

really package it in a way that felt like palatable and not like too terrifying. And I like ended it on feeling like more positive than, than most. And then also it was completely all wrapped up and like what happened. So that's like where I can do that. Only three parts, I think. Right. Yeah. It was pretty short. I watched it at night by myself, which I would not recommend. It was terrifying, but they do button it up really nicely at the end. And then what is it? Um,

lover stalker killer on Netflix that just came out. Wait, am I going to like that? Isn't the woman like a stalker? She's a stalker. It is so scary. It's scary even though it's a woman? Well, here's the thing. I started watching it. I'm so scared. Women can be scarier. Yeah, this guy is getting stalked. I think they're smarter. But I'm not scared of them. I get scared of stuff that I feel like could happen to me. That's where I get. She's breaking into his home. She's slicing his clothing off with a knife. I'm not scared.

That wouldn't happen. Like I'm saying, if I can't put myself in those shoes. It could happen to you. I think it could. With a woman? I think it could. You never know. Okay. One last one for us. It is a cause and a stir online. Okay. Everyone has been telling me to read it. Okay. I was, I'm just really baffled by this one. Are these the best ones you've ever done? I'm. What?

one has been so i'm like they're so good they're all so good you do a great job like your show's amazing but like these i don't know thank you this is really fun i really stress over the stories i pick for my guests especially like because i only get you guys usually for one episode and it's like i gotta really pack a punch in and like bring the heat you do a great job thank you yeah this next one it's it's really i think it's gonna okay be the icing on the cake okay oh

So it's coming from A-I-T-H, another version of Am I the Asshole? 11 days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for kicking my wife out after she punched my mom in the face? For some reason, like... What'd your mom do? My immediate gut reaction is no. My immediate gut reaction is the mother-in-law deserved it. But let's see. Let's see. Let's see.

My situation went from bad to worse in a matter of a week, and I don't know where else to turn. I need to know if I was wrong. Possibly a validation thing because life is fucking dumb right now. My wife and I have been together for eight years, and she just gave birth to our first and last baby two months ago. Up until my wife got pregnant, my mom loved her.

I'm not sure what the fuck is going on with my mom or why the switch happened, but after my wife got pregnant, my mom started being very clingy to me and started avoiding my wife at all costs. Told everyone she wasn't excited about the pregnancy, etc.,

I threatened to go no contact with her when my wife was about seven months along, and after that, she snapped out of it for the most part and stopped being so ignorant. The comments 100% stopped, at least, though she was still clinging to me.

Now, a week ago, my mom, my sister, my sister's husband, and my sister's daughter, 12, came over for dinner. I prepared the meal. Before my wife could eat anything, our daughter got fussy, so my wife excused herself to go feed the baby and get her down to sleep. I thought I prepared enough, but apparently not, because my niece was still starving.

Parentheses, she's 5'5 and 190 pounds. I haven't seen her in a year and she was not that size then, so I didn't exactly portion in an extra three helpings for a child. So that's on me. Is that just like a snarky remark? I don't know what the fuck that was. I apologized and told her that I hadn't made any more and offered her crackers as I was putting my wife's portion into the fridge.

After that, I just went outside with my sister's husband to smoke a cigarette and shoot the breeze. Didn't think anything of it.

But then I hear yelling from inside. When I walk in, my wife and my mom were screaming at each other. Apparently, my mom, who saw me put my wife's food away, gave my niece my wife's portion of food. As I was walking inside, I heard my mom say, quote, looks like you can afford to skip a meal and slapped my wife's stomach.

Right as soon as I get ready to step in, literally fast walking towards them, yelling enough. My wife winds back and punches my mom square in the face and drops her. Where do these people live? It's getting Florida. This is in Florida or Texas. I know it. It's certainly not Connecticut. The whole house went silent outside of my mom crying and holding her face.

I tell everyone to get the fuck out. Immediately, everyone leaves and my wife just turned towards the counter and leans with her hands on the counter, face down, eyes closed. I look at my wife and say, you too, leave now. She says, really? She's crying at this point. I say a clipped, yep. She packs up her and the baby and leaves.

I text her that night and say, I just need space. I need to decompress and come to terms with what just happened. She doesn't respond. The next five days I'm texting and calling and I get nothing. She shows up here today. So now eight days later and hands me divorce paperwork and my baby and says, here, you have a bit to hang out with her while I pack.

While I'm breastfeeding, we can work out a visitation schedule that is either at your place or my mother's until she will take a bottle. I told her that's not what I want. I don't want to separate. I just needed time to process her punching my mother in the face.

She said, quote, you needing time to process gave me time to process the fact that I refuse to be in this situation any longer. I defended myself. I initially felt bad and remorseful, but you making me leave when I needed you made me see more clear. I'm done. I'm sorry for what I did, but there's no fixing this.

She refused to speak to me at all the rest of the time she was there. My house feels so empty and I don't know what to do. Am I the asshole for making her leave after she punched my mom? I just needed some fucking space. That's why you live in a house with separate rooms. I mean, this is so loaded.

Or you go get a hotel. Well, you, yeah, she's breastfeeding with a fucking baby. Go get a hotel. I mean, this is really loaded. This is like so loaded and I think that this is not about, I mean, yes, you could definitely split up over this, this fight here and be like, this person's, I assaulted this person's mother and like, we're never gonna get along. This is the end of this relationship. But it's probably

Probably about a lot of years of situations with the mother and a lot of issues with the husband for a long term. This was just the camel, the camel, the camel, the other camels back. You are like me. I can't get one single saying right. Oh, my God. Like it's about this situation, but it's like not really about the pasta. You know, it's about other stuff.

If you need to remove yourself from a situation, which I probably would, if my spouse assaulted my parent, I would need a little bit of space. But here's the thing. Here's the thing. Well, it depends what my mom or dad. Mom assaulted her first. The mom started this. Don't start no shit. Won't be no shit. That's my whole life mantra. Like, you start it. I will finish it. Oh, because the mom smacked her stomach? It looks like you could skip a meal. A person just gave a meal.

Hit her in the stomach. Yeah. So she has a newborn fat shamer and then slapped her stomach. Again, like there, I don't know the severity of the slap versus the punch. Like, yeah. Senior partner assault your parent, the parents older, most, you know, obviously. So I just don't, I'd have to be there to know, like all this was fucked up. She gave her food away knowing, you know, the niece did not need it. Yeah.

whatever that removed him making her leave is it's a hard pass. That's totally crazy. Like you can shut yourself in a room. You like, you said you can leave. Like, I understand being like, I cannot look at your face, but the wife also just went through something too. It's not like she's some violent person that wanted to assault the mom that, and also this had been building up like this. I really hated all the stuff early on about the mom, like really clinging to her son and not being excited about the pregnancy. Like that's a whole nother like can of worms, but

I'm not saying she was justified to punch her in the face, but to make your wife with a newborn leave, that's crazy. In the middle of the night or late at night? Another whole level of even asking someone to leave, but with the child, like absolutely not. This is literally grounds for divorce. Yeah. Absolutely. And listen, you can't- At eight days. You can't by the-

you can't assault my parent. That's like not an acceptable way to behave in the world. But like, there's so many other factors here and you leave, but the safety and comfortability of your baby is paramount to all these other things. Like she's going to leave with the baby. And yet no point where you like, let me go instead of you. Yeah. You stay here with a baby. It's crazy to me. And I would absolutely want to serve that person. Yeah. Like, like,

where are you going? Like this, this was so telling of how you even feel about our child. Like where did, where do you expect me to go? I go to a hotel with my baby, you know, like that's crazy. This is a really stubborn man. And I've had fights with people where I like get really mad. I walk out the door. I disappear on purpose for hours. They don't check in with you. And the next day they're remorseful. They're texting you there. And you're like too fucking late, buddy. You know what I mean? I understand. She like stayed away to like punish him for his behavior. And I would too. I,

I don't even know if it's a punishment, though. Like, I truly think the minute she walked out that door, she was done. I think having that build up, like if I had a mother-in-law who was calling me fat and who basically from the minute I got pregnant was hating me, felt threatened with her relationship with her son because I'm now pregnant. It's giving weird enmeshment vibes. I don't want to be a part of it.

The fact that he hasn't set a boundary, he hasn't gone no contact, he hasn't really, you know, got his mom in line and said this is unacceptable. She acted this way tonight, gave the niece the food and slapped her in the stomach because she's been enabled. The minute she walks out the door, I'd be done. Women are so often like emotionally checked out before they physically leave. And this is a great example. Like, I think she was over it the minute she walked out. And

And I'm very impressed how quick she moved. Eight days to get divorce papers. I did not see this coming. I actually was pretty impressed at first when you said that like the wife and the mom were having issues and that the husband actually like had, he drew a boundary. He said, this is not acceptable. You can't treat her like this. And that he did it to the point that the behavior did stop. So I was surprised that this is the turn it took. It took such a turn.

Yeah. And it's like, I think it speaks a lot to the mother-in-law and her level of derangement. But you're right. He enabled it. He made it clear that this is acceptable. To a certain point. Like he should have cut her off and said, you know what? Like we're not doing this. Time should have been more supervised with the mom or something. I don't even know because the minute he walks out of the house just for a quick cigarette break, that food of hers in the fridge, gone. She comes downstairs. She's standing in the kitchen for five seconds, hits her in the stomach. Her punching the mom

self-defense. Right. I don't think violence is a good answer a lot of times, but damn, did she deserve that? That was insane. This is insane. She has got a story to tell that she is about punching her ex-husband's mom in the face. I honestly, I don't know if you guys can hear my stomach growling, but like this would, I would start swinging if someone gave my food away. Oh my gosh. And this is so like, it reminds me all the time of

my sister-in-law when Christmas. Well, she'd always have to go take care of they if they have like two babies now, but like always have to go take care of Jay. Like when we're eating and we like felt so bad, but like, you know, it was that was the time she had to put him down. And so we would have to eat. You know, she's like, you guys eat. I don't know how long this is going to take, whatever, like when it would line up in those times and we would feel so bad. And of course, like Matt would like put her food aside and all that stuff. So I can like picture the scene and then

my mom coming in and giving Steph's food away to like the overweight niece because she's still hungry from dinner and then I like I can when you were telling it this is not on my family rolls at all but I was like picturing in Matt's home like I was remembering Christmas at your house a couple years ago and Steph made dinner and went upstairs to breastfeed and came out she missed Christmas dinner oh my god yeah right she would have to press feed and all that stuff too but yeah I don't know how I'd feel if I saw her punch my mom that would be that would be tough I honestly might laugh a little bit

Then I would jump in. But it's like, I can't even think about it because my mom, like a nervous, the sweetest woman. She wouldn't instigate it like this. Of course not. Not even close. Like your brother would not make anybody think that it's acceptable to be not nice to your wife. Yeah. Your mom. I mean, I can't even put myself in this family. She's like, we don't. If my sister-in-law hit my mom though, I would laugh a little bit. Right. This is what you're thinking of. If it's my family, I'm laughing a little bit before I jumped to the defense of an elderly woman, which I would. Yeah.

But I might have a nervous laugh. I think your mom's brawling. My mom would go. Adriana swings at your mom. Your mom. Something is going to take over. She's going to tackle her to the ground. Adriana's going to tap out. Your mom's going to have her in some like UFC hole. Chokehold. Bring out the chair. Oh, my God. I think that would be mine. That would be my mom. So top comment on the original post.

Your bitch mom is the one who got physical first. You're the asshole. Yeah, because she was defending herself from your bitch mom. They kind of quote like, my wife is a lot of things. Violent is not one of them. So this completely came out of left field. Like Opie says that. And again, because the wife was defending herself. She punched her or she slapped her? Punched. Later out.

Next comment down. And instead of thinking, quote, holy crap, how have I let it come to this? He booted his wife with his infant out onto the street. I can't see that there's any coming back from this. Yeah, you lost. We have some edits. A little update. Mm-hmm. Haven't read. I'm a little nervous.

Okay, for the record, I am team wife. My mom deserved it wholeheartedly. Oh. And I've blocked her completely from my life. I literally just needed time to process what happened. My wife is a lot of things. Violent is not one of them. So that's where that came from.

So this came completely out of left field and would not have happened without her being provoked. After it all happened, my mom sent me a text saying, quote, See, I told you she was crazy. That fat bitch doesn't belong in our life. Oh, my God.

Our life. Right. Me and you as a couple. That's what my mom would say about my sister-in-law. I'm willing to bet she purposefully tried setting my wife off. So now I'm on my wife's side 100%. I truly just needed to process what happened. And my wife took it as me giving up on her, not defending her, and throwing her and our baby, which did essentially happen because I knew she had to take the baby with her when I kicked her out. The reason why I needed...

time to like process everything. My dad was stupid abusive. I was beat. My sisters and brother were beat. My mom was put in the hospital multiple times. It took years for police to enforce restraining orders and he finally died in 2013.

We took a really dark turn here, guys. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of trauma in this family. Totally. Yeah. And abuse. You know, I don't like the tone of I kicked her out of my house. We are married. We are a team. This is our house. This is our house. Yes. I can't even imagine a scenario where she has, by the way, been conditioned to think that that is even an option. Yeah. This is our home.

You are never going to let me, you're never going to kick me out of our shared home. But she's been conditioned over a lot of years to think that this is his home and he has the right to do something like that. Even more so now.

I have like a shred of sympathy for him. Like, I don't know. He's got some self-awareness. I do like that he early on really tried with the mom. Like he was, it seems like he was on his wife's side even back then. He recognized the mom for what she was doing. He wasn't able to really enforce those boundaries, obviously. But like, he's not the worst as some of the other people we've heard on the show today. Yeah.

And then you hear about his traumatic past and he's operating out of like a different mindset than someone who hasn't experienced something like that. So I don't know. I have a little bit. Still, it's not okay, of course. But I wish the...

I don't know. I wonder if the wife would have been like, I'm not fucking leaving our house with our child. Like, we can go in separate rooms and you can take your space or you can leave. Like, I wonder if she would have just completely put him in his place. He'd be like, you're right. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Like, I was I'm seeing red right now. I don't even know what to do. You punch my mom. You know, like, I wonder if she would have held her ground or communicative. But I'm wondering, like,

I don't know. Is he trying to get it? Like I was worried I was going to be abusive too. I don't know. So I'm trying to, the baby changes things for me also. Like if, if somebody assaulted my parent, I do see a scenario in which I'm like, you get the fuck out. You know, like it's a baby for me. It's the baby. That's what I'm saying. The baby changes things for me. Cause it like, it endangers the safety of a child state. I do see a world in which like my partner assaults my parent and I'm like, you need the, I'm not, I'm not leaving. You're leaving.

Well, yeah, exactly. It's the baby. Yeah. And here's like the other side of that, too, where this is such a vulnerable little baby. If you're so scared and frazzled by what just happened that you need space, you need time to think you need to kick your wife out. Your wife is like in this crazy state. She just punched your mom.

Is she able to care for a little baby right now? Like mentally, she might need a reprieve as well. And now you're throwing her out, putting the baby with her on top of it. Like,

You're a fucking... Like, what? I think that also, like, trauma brain is not something I understand. I came from a household where I felt physically safe at all times. I was never at risk of losing my home or my safety. So I don't really understand, like, the brain of somebody who's been traumatized like this physically their whole life. Yeah. So, like Ashley said, I do have sympathy for him because it's... You just go into this, like, fight or flight mode. Yeah. And you're like, I have to not be in this situation. Well, and he does go on to say...

Violence scares the fuck out of me. I clam up and get anxious around violence of any kind now. My wife knows this, and she too grew up in a violent household.

stepdad and she gets just as anxious and panicky around violence her punching my mom in the face triggered an anxious response and i needed her gone in that moment i needed it far away from me i don't know why i just didn't leave i could have but in that moment i just let my emotions and fear run the whole fucking circus and told everyone to get out her included my mom did slap her first i guess for some reason i was seeing my wife's punch as being worse than the slap it wasn't a hard slap i

but my wife did kind of wince. Looking back on it now, she was fine following, but my mom was bleeding. Split her eyebrow open in good shape. I don't know. Damn, she's got a right hook on her. She's got a mean right hook. Thank you for all the responses. I'm the asshole. I'm going to try to go kiss ass now. So maybe they didn't follow through with the divorce? I don't know. I like...

You know, you can really feel the remorse and, you know, the owning of the mistake. So the wife has to run the tape on the relationship up until that point and keeping everybody's trauma and aversion to violence in mind as well and assessing the relationship and just...

you know, think if she wants to give him a second chance, I wouldn't be mad at it. I would be fine with either. Yeah. Not knowing these people. He sounds like really more so. And we always talk about people that are like master apologizers and they sound like they know all the right things to say. I mean, he does seem like he understands his behavior, where it comes from. He's taking accountability. He's not defensive of his behavior, to be honest. He's like, this was gross and I'm embarrassed by

Yeah. And I had a traumatic childhood, so did she. You know, he doesn't seem defensive of his own behavior, which I like. I do like his response to this. But some people just are good at apologizing. Yeah. And so, like you said, she has to just kind of take stock of what has happened in the past and can we afford therapy? Can we use some tools to kind of work through this, figure out how to communicate? Yeah. I think a couple sessions would be, like, non-negotiable. It's like, that's got to be, like, you save, you prioritize that. We do have a lot of comments from Opie, so...

Morgan, post the YouTube link, please. A lot of them do bring up the attachment with the mom. Maybe it's

you know, emotional incest. The wife actually does text him and says, please look up emotional incest with no context. But the father was physically abusive to the mom. So his son felt really protected. And then the mom clung to him. A lot of trauma. They're both enmeshed. A lot of trauma. Describes what my mom was doing. I did completely block her, but it won't help my case. And then info. What other comments did your mom make about your wife?

that she was stealing me away, that she wasn't good enough, made a few comments about her baby trapping me, never said it directly to me or my wife, but it got back to us quickly. She tried denying it at first, but later confirmed she said it.

I just think there's a lot of really traumatic bonding that happens between like a mother and a son when the son is seeing the mother be physically abused. Especially if he's the oldest son. Absolutely. I mean, there's just, there's so much context here. So it's not that I don't judge it the same way. I judge just like some kid that had like a normal upbringing that has like a weirdly too close relationship with their mom. Like I understand why he's so protective.

over her. And it makes me even more impressed that he did take the step in the beginning to be like, let's draw the boundary. You can't talk to my wife like this. Yeah. I mean, that was the first thing that I felt positive about because some people will not do that at all. Like they will always, the mom will always be the person that wins. You know, they'll never do that.

No. I really hope they work it out. We have no official update if divorce papers have been rescinded. Nothing along those lines, but this is definitely one to keep up with, I think, because he's commenting a lot still and providing more info, so...

maybe we'll get an update update eventually. And also, I just want to give the wife a little bit of props that like she was like, this situation seems dangerous for me and I am going to take the steps to remove myself. So if she really feels like that for her and her child, then that's great, too. Absolutely. That's a tough one. Definitely a tough one. I am really excited to see what everyone else in the comments on YouTube says about it.

But thank you guys so much for coming. Thanks, it was so fun. And we can't wait to have you on our show. No, we can't wait. I'm really excited. I'm trying to like strategize it so we release like similar times. But where can people find you? How can they listen to your amazing podcast? You can find Girls Gotta Eat wherever you listen to podcasts, Apple, Spotify, wherever. And we have full episodes on YouTube as well. And that's easy to find, just youtube.com slash girlsgottateat. And you can follow us on Instagram and TikTok at girlsgottateatpodcast.

I'm Ash Hess. Raina is Raina.Greenberg. And we didn't mention this, but we do have a line of premium sex toys. Our company, we brought you something. Can I give it to you? And that is, Raina will hand it off, but it's vibes only. Oh my God, I love presents.

And so you can go to vibes only.com and they are incredible life-changing premium toys. They're all Bluetooth connected. So you can control them with the app. Someone control them long distance. There's a battery estimator. So your vibrator never dies on you. You always know what, what, what juice it has left. So we really thought of it all. And, um, yeah, we have lubes and blow gels and all kinds of things. So we brought you two things. Um, so we brought you a flavored blow, second blow gel. Um,

it's vulva friendly as well so yeah that is our vanilla frosting it's our best seller so you or your partner can use it on each other and then we brought you the reina which is a it's our number one toy it's a sucker on one end and just a vibrator on the other it's just two motors you can use them at the same time it's our best seller we sell it time and time again it's really really fun and like ashley said it pairs with the app and you can have your partner control it okay that is really really cool so pairs with

the app though and you said long distance like they can be out of state yeah anywhere anywhere the app's available you know I think there's a couple countries where it's blocked blocked because this is how you heat stuff up if you're long distance guys that's our new color of the rain of the rain it's incredible oh my gosh look at this bad boy we can't keep it in stock

There's a charger and a pouch for you in there too if you want to travel with that. Do you have one named after you too, Ashley? Of course. Yes. So we had the original Ashley and I think she is sold out or like really close to it and we're releasing a new Ashley and it's going to be bigger. Bigger and better. Yeah. I want to call it the Ashley Pro Max but I don't know if Apple would send a seasoned assistant. Let's just look up the trademarks even if it's there. So,

So yeah, just it'll be big. It'll be powerful. And we're so excited. That's probably going to be in the spring. You're going to be exclusive on the mega Ashley. We haven't told anybody about it yet. No one's brought me presents before. Oh, yay. We're so excited. I love this. You have to taste it and let us know what you think and then try it. I mean, on your man or whatever.

It smells really good though. Yeah. Through the little lid. It has made me just love sucking dick, which before I wasn't enthusiastic, but the peppermint patty, which we've sold out, that was a holiday flavor. The peppermint patty blowjob was just the best gift I gave my boyfriend for Christmas. Yes. It's the gift that just keeps on giving. It makes your mouth really juicy. It makes you like salivate and it tastes good and it makes your breath nice. I love that because I use coconut oil to like really speed it up.

and make it easier. So now this. That'll be great. It's like a loop. My best friend. Sugar-free, gluten-free, paraben-free, sulfate-free, I don't know. Cruelty-free. You guys are just so considerate. I will be sure to put all of Ashley and Raina's links. Girls Gotta Eat, the toys, everything will be in the description on podcast and YouTube side. So check them out. Thank you again for coming. And for my present. We'll see you soon. Until next time, guys. Bye. Bye.

So