209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
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Okay, you ready? Let's do it. Okay. We're starting off today with some rock, paper, scissors. Oh, I'm ready. Because you're really good and I'm like, I

I thought I was pretty good. But you start off and you're like, I need to put this on my resume on Traders because you were so good. And then I proceeded to lose every match after. Did you really? I thought I saw you win. No, I played against Danielle twice, I think, and I lost both to her. So that's why I didn't get to see Tom sing. I was on the other team. Oh, God. To see him sing in person, too. I know.

I missed my chance. So we're kicking it off. Rock, paper, scissors, okay? Do you do rock, paper, scissors, shoot? Yeah, so rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Yeah, that's right. Let me just think for a sec because you came prepared. Okay. Okay, ready? Yep. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Okay.

I'm two for two on podcasts. Okay, there we go. Have people been doing it with you? Yeah. Okay, I love it. I love it. I wanted it to be like, I need to post this on social, but if you see me on the streets, I'll take a photo and everything, but just stick your hand up. Let's get right into it.

I think what people need to do is like, not like, Hey man, can I get a picture? No. Immediately just walk up and start dueling. Exactly. Duel me. If like, regardless, maybe you beat me and I just walk away. That's, that's, that's our interaction. Yeah.

How iconic would that be? Yeah, I would love that. I love that. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. Today, I'm joined by the amazing Dylan Efron. I'm going to say some spoilers, but you might recognize Dylan from Traders. Skip 15 seconds.

winner of Traders. I mean, your season, this is the first and only Traders season I've watched. I love it. It's fun. I love it. You started on a good season. I also, I need you to go on like 10 more shows though. Like when are you submitting your Survivor

Yeah, they still do it that way, huh? You got to like submit your audition tape. Yeah, your little casting tape. I kind of just send them my Instagram. I'll be like, hey, like, just look. I like adventure. Jesse Tannenbaum, if you're out there, right here. I feel like you do so good. You just had such a good game on Traders where you were yourself, but you also had like, you just had...

such an eye on like people and you were so intuitive and it was a really fun season to watch. I appreciate it. Yeah, no, I've definitely played poker as a kid and I watched a lot of these shows. So I have a big competitive streak in me. It was fun to kind of be myself and just be friendly with everybody, but also be like,

thinking. A lot of people didn't know who I was and they were like, this guy, why is he here? And they didn't know I might be thinking a lot. I know. Well, I didn't realize, were you a big game super fan before this? Because you actually did watch Carolyn's season of Survivor. Yeah. So I watched Survivor as a kid and

And then I went to college and didn't have cable. So I didn't watch for a while. But then I went back and watched a bunch of ones I missed. But one of the more recent ones that I've watched was Carolyn's season. I just went back and watched it. It's actually so good. It was. I love her. Yeah, no, it was a great season. So they have like that new era versus the old era. So I was very much like a viewer of the old era. And now I've started to rewatch things.

some of the new era stuff. And it's a lot different than it used to be, but Carolyn's season is very much like the summary of the new era. Okay. Did you watch Boston Rob's season as well? So I was just with him in Florida yesterday, and we were, like, talking about it. I've only seen, I think, one of his seasons of Survivor. Okay. I didn't see the one he married Amber, because that was when I was really young. Yeah. I watched the original season,

villains versus heroes that he lost. And then I watched the one where he was like, had a statue of him on the island as well. Okay, I didn't see... I think I saw...

I think I might have seen the second, his second one, because I don't know if I saw him in Amber either. But I did watch him on Amazing Race. Oh, with Amber. With Amber. Yeah. Unreal. I need to watch that too. I think that could be another one you apply for if Survivor is not your thing. Because I know, you know, eating only rice and coconut pulp, like, might not be it. No, that's easy to me. Like, it's Survivor. It's like, it's not Alone. Alone would be tough for me. Like, I know enough that surviving Survivor

three months in Alaska would kill me. So, but Survivor, you're in Fiji. Have you been to Fiji? No. Oh, I went to an island that was just like Survivor in Fiji. And I was like, oh, like I could do this. There's no, there's like not a lot of bugs. Okay. Fiji is paradise. So it really, I would enjoy every minute. I truly think I would. Okay.

Well, I was going to say you could do Amazing Race. Yeah. Get Rob back. I need to dig into that more too because that's right up my alley. It's so good. And the way like – I think Survivor was so big at the time that him and Amber did it. Everyone recognized them. So they got so much help. Yeah.

Yeah, that's cool. To like get bumped ahead in like everywhere from like India to... That's cool. It was really, it was a cool season to watch. Yeah, Amazing Race would be fun because you'd see a different side of me. Like I'm very much down for the challenges and that stuff's super fun, but I'm also pretty aloof. So like directionally...

I thought I was good at directions. It's because I grew up in a hometown with a beach and a mountain on one side. So it was like, I could always know where I was. You put me in the middle of a city and I'm, I'm the guy that just turns left. No matter what, I turn left and I end up lost. So like I would get into trouble on that show and it would be really funny to watch. I just wouldn't be able to do the eating challenges. Oh, that's easy. Yeah.

Did you? Okay. I think it was on Rob's season. Maybe a different one, but they had to eat. Have you seen those ginormous like martini glasses? Oh, wow. They had to eat a whole thing of beluga caviar. Oh, God. So much salt. It was, it was disgusting. What's beluga? I don't know. That's whale. It was fancy. It was fancy.

It was fancy. I don't know. I'm not a caviar gal, but that's what they said it was. And people were throwing up. Yeah, that's a lot. It was too much. So you might have to train. You might have to train. Yeah, food makes me gag too. Like if it's a really slimy consistency, I'm going to gag. So it would make good TV. I'm not afraid of it, but it does gross me out. It's good that traders didn't have any eating stuff.

Yeah. No, I would have. They should have. That's season four. They need to add. Imagine Carolyn eating like a slug or something. Yeah, that is so fun. No, the bugs. I was surprised they even did the bugs. Yeah, the bugs were. That was chill. The bugs was insane. No, like Sierra, like had them going down her back like it was the bugs would I would have tapped out.

I wouldn't have been able to do it. You would have done it. I don't think so. When you're there, it's like... I don't know. Like, even the helicopter, it's like even if you don't want to do it, you're going to do it. Like, you know that this is a production. You know you're on TV. You know that, like...

If you say no, it's like you're quitting and no one wants to quit. So it's, you're going to do it. The helicopter, I would have no issue with. Like I did. It's just the bugs. Yeah, just the bugs and the eating. I'm a texture person. I'm like. Yeah, I'm a texture person. I can only eat bananas.

Like one day out of their lifespan. Yeah, I'm kind of the same. If they're too hard and too soft. Yeah, the speckled brown banana is like my favorite food. And every other side is the grossest thing in the world. Disgusting. You can't do it. Some people eat them green. I know. That's the grossest texture. It's gross.

Jail. Straight to jail. You're probably the same way as like your favorite foods have a lot of texture. Like I love a good crunch. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like good texture is the best food in the world. But bad texture makes me gag. Nope. We're in the same boat. So coming off of Traders, do you feel like Traders might have made you a little paranoid? No. Really? I can honestly say no. Yeah. Okay. I give you so much credit because I was...

And I think a lot of us out there, if you watched, I was really nervous when Carolyn gave you her emotional spiel and you still, you didn't get sucked in. But then Danielle's was like,

I was sitting there and I was like, that is the most manipulative thing I think I've ever seen on TV. And you still, you stuck to your guns. But if that were me, I would come out of the show so paranoid. Like who's lying to me? Yeah. So I knew at that point that Danielle was a traitor. Like remember the round table before was the one where she was on the ground and hysterics. Like I knew then that she was a traitor. So like once I was tapped in and I could tell she was acting like,

By this point, me and Danielle are truly friends. Yeah. We're friends even though she's been lying to me. So now I know like I know her tell if that makes sense. I know she's lying. So I'm like I'm not going to go console her when she's crying on the ground because I know it's an act. Okay. But when she's

doing that emotional like Dylan please like I trust you type thing like it hurt like it does hurt but it's not going to change my mind I know it's a game and I know she's a traitor and I know I'm voting for her you did such a good job I was like please please like get her out of there and you did such a good job I would have crumbled but I think because of your experience I think you'll do a great job today with the theme I have for you I'm ready

So we're going with paranoid or perfectly executed. Okay. So these are people writing in and they're like, I think a lot of times with Reddit, people will write in like, am I the asshole for this? And they're just kind of paranoid about it, even though they're not the asshole or they're paranoid about it. And it's justified because they are the asshole. So.

We're going to get into these ones and see if you think what you think about it. I like this. And one quick question. Yeah. Is your username public on Reddit? Yeah. Wow, that's scary. Yeah, it's THTMorgan. I don't really... I've posted about car issues. My old car was making a clunky noise and I recorded it and put it on Reddit. Or I was trying to find my fiance an ancient coin. And so I went on the coin subs to like...

Talk to the coin people. I'm a big Reddit user since I was in college. So over 10 years of Reddit sleuthing, I've never liked. I've never commented. You've never even upvoted? Nope. You're like, no trace. No trace. I want no trace. No trace. But I love Reddit. Let's get into these stories. ♪♪♪

Okay, starting off. This one is three hours old, coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for humiliating my sister's fiance at a family gathering after what he did to her?

My sister, 28 female, has been with her fiancé, 32 male, for three years. She's always been the more reserved, quiet type, while he's loud, extroverted, and sometimes a little over the top. We tolerated him, but recently, he crossed a serious line. A few weeks ago, my sister came to me in tears because her fiancé...

That's messed up. I love that you're just like in the zone. Yeah, I'm a big audio guy. It's like a bedtime story. I have to visualize it.

Okay, 32 male. Yeah, prank. Okay. That's how I play Jeopardy too. I can't look at the screen. She didn't. Well, we got more. Oh, wow. Okay. We got more. Close my eyes. She didn't break up with him, which I think she should have, but she was heartbroken. He later gave her some half-hearted excuse about how he actually had a proposal planned soon, and this was just a joke gone wrong.

Fast forward to this past weekend at our parents' house. We were having a big family dinner and he was there, acting like nothing happened. While chatting, someone asked when they were getting married. And before my sister could answer, he smirked and said, quote, Guess she'll just have to wait and see, huh?

That was it for me. I smiled sweetly and said, quote, Oh, is this like how she had to wait for that hilarious fake proposal in front of all your friends? That was so funny, right? Let's all have a good laugh about it now.

The table went dead silent. My sister looked mortified, but my parents looked pissed at him. He stammered something about it being a joke, but my dad straight up told him, that's not a joke, that's cruelty.

He left shortly after, and now my sister is mad at me for embarrassing him and making things worse. I told her he embarrassed her first and deserved to be called out. My parents are backing me, but my sister says I ruined things for her. Am I the asshole? Oh, no. She's a good friend. She's a good sister. Good sister. That's what I'm thinking. I feel like he really...

Took this too far for it to be just a prank. You said in the beginning their ages. How old are they? She's 28 and he's 32. Wow. Yeah, because that joke coming from him feels like a 22-year-old. So immature. Yeah. So a 32-year-old that's doing that prank...

Yeah, it's a pretty big flag. It's huge. Like, how old are you? 33. Okay. And, like, look, I understand, like, maybe he really didn't mean anything by it because I am that kind of guy that loves getting people's emotions. Like, my sense of humor is, like, I love to get emotions out of people, so I'm always doing little pranks to try to get emotions out. Are you really? Yeah. Okay, what's, like, one of your... I'm a hater on pranks, so you're going to really have to convince me of, like,

what's a good one you've done no like my my favorite one that I do to my girlfriend all the time is like I just lean into whatever it is like let's say she's in the other room and she says something like 10 times and I said like what like a few times but then she's like after like the sixth time I'll just lean into it and be like like what and like like like I didn't hear her again and then she screams it and I'm like I just laugh so it's like stuff like that like I love like

But if I see people growing frustrated, I lean into them getting more frustrated. Oh, my gosh. So I like little pranks like that. But when it's like that's serious, a proposal, that's messing with your relationship. So it feels like the –

She's not standing up for herself, the girl in the relationship. And I'm happy your sister spoke up for her. Yeah. Honestly, it's kind of crazy they didn't break up after that. Because of how elaborate it is, right? Like, if it was...

I don't know. I feel like a proposal isn't something you should ever prank. Kind of like a divorce too. Yeah. Like I've had a Reddit story where this guy or this woman was like, oh, I told my husband I wanted a divorce because all my friends were doing it with their partners and they just, they got more attention. They got showered with gifts. And so she did a divorce prank. And it's like, I feel like this is kind of in the same boat of like one of those things you probably shouldn't

prank people on and just not at this age like we're 32 and 28 like this is the age you get married this is like you know she's having thoughts about that and like wants it so to dangle that fruit and as a joke to humiliate her like the the person playing the joke i like getting emotions out of people i like building their frustration stuff i don't want to humiliate the person that i'm

playing a joke on that's a mean sense of humor so yeah I'm not a fan I think the answer to the question is she's not an asshole and there's some red flags but I also feel like her sister the girl that this happened to

Is ignoring some major red flags in this relationship. Huge. Huge. If she's taking his side, not taking her sister's. Yeah. It doesn't sound good. No. And even like you have your sister sticking up for you and now you're like, hey, thanks, but let's tone it down going forward. Instead, you're like, well, you made it worse. You made it worse. Like you don't you shouldn't be begging this guy to want to marry you. Exactly. You shouldn't be like.

putting yourself down for the sake that he wakes up and gives you a ring. Yeah, the fact that she's feeling insecurity by how her sister acted and that it's going to affect the relationship when really he's the one that did something bad. Yeah. Something's not right in that relationship right now. Something's not right. Tough comment on this one. She should not marry this asshole even if he asks. He is cruel and a very small man to do that to her. Your sister needs to know she can do so much better.

And yeah, a little round of applause for engineering. OK, 1885. OP does respond to that and says, facts. Dude is a walking red flag. If this is how he treats her before marriage, imagine how bad it'll be later. She deserves way better than a guy who thinks humiliating her is comedy.

You know what? This reminds me of another Reddit story, which you might know. Okay. Do you remember the one where it was a girl was pregnant and then the husband held like a knife up to her pregnant belly? I lost my mind at that one. I think it actually was, he was a police officer. Yes. And he held a gun to her stomach. You're right. That's what it was. I was so nervous about that one. I actually read it on our Patreon because I was like,

Yeah. It's, it's too much. It was insane. That, that was like similar red flag. She's like, can I ignore this? And it's like, no, you can't. That's, that's yeah. No, that was, that's, there's no ignoring this. No, God, you're so right. And it's like, okay, gun proposal, maybe a little apples to oranges, but like truly like it's giving just like

odd, screw loose, something's not right here energy. Yeah, it just shows he's playing around. He's not as serious as she is in this relationship. Yeah. He's joking about that stuff. Especially in front of his friends, his boys, and everyone's laughing and she's sitting there like,

Probably cried. Yeah. Because I'd be bawling my eyes out. I'd be distraught. I feel for her. I'd be distraught. There's a couple other comments from OP. Yeah, dude is pushing 33, not 13. He knows what he's doing.

And last one I'll read. Yeah, that's the frustrating part. She's still choosing to stay and there's only so much I can do. At the end of the day, it's her life, but I'm not going to sit around and play nice with a dude who treats her like a joke. Just hoping she sees the red flag before it's too late. That's good advice. This is why I love Reddit. I know. Great people on there. Reddit's coming in clutch.

Being on Reddit as long as you have, have you heard the coconut story? Give me a little context because I'm sure I have. I'm so sorry, everyone. I'm so sorry. This guy lives in Africa, Mozambique, maybe. And he has a mom who's on a health kick.

And he's feeling a little sexually frustrated. And so he borrows or takes one of her coconuts because she's got a big supply of them and cuts a hole in the coconut. No, I haven't heard this. I'm just kidding. I think my audience would actually kill me if I read it again. I've read it four times on the podcast. Yeah, no. If you want a good reaction, listen to the episode with Chris Clemens. Okay. He uses this coconut for quite some time. No.

Oh, God. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to gag. Yep. You will gag. You will 100% gag. He was storing his juice in there. Yeah, he didn't empty it. Didn't wash it out after each use. Just...

And he used butter, I think, as lube. Oh, my God. Yeah. This can't be true. See, there's stories like that. And then there's one that actually was verified by the moderators. And the moderators actually talked to this person's psychologist. But this is another story I read where it was coming from the Ask Me Anything subreddit. And the guy was like, I broke both arms and ended up having a relationship with my mom. Ask me anything.

Yeah. Yeah. Instantly scarred. I broke my toe and I had a relationship with my mom. It's like almost too, they're so unrelated. It's like, wait, what? And so the moderator is like verified with this person. So it is a 100% real story. Wow.

The things we find on Reddit. That's what makes it good. Another thing we are finding on Reddit is this next one. It's coming from AITAH6DAYSOLD, titled...

Am I the asshole for sleeping in my car because my wife won't stop playing whale sounds at night? Whale sounds. All right, let's get into it. Okay, so this is weird, but I need to know if I'm in the wrong here. My wife, 32 female, has recently gotten really into whale sounds. It started as something she played while working from home, and I didn't mind.

Then she started listening to them while doing chores, cooking, and even during dinner. Again, fine. I figured it was just a phase. But then she started playing them at night. I mean, full blast, speakers on either side of the bed, deep ocean whale calls echoing through our room like we're sleeping at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. She says it helps her relax and feel, quote, connected to nature.

The problem is, I can't sleep through it. I've tried earplugs, but I swear I can still hear them. I wake up to haunting, eerie moaning sounds, and I feel like I'm in some sort of deep-sea horror movie.

I asked if she could at least lower the volume or use headphones. She refused, saying the sound needs to fill the room for the full effect. I even tried playing my own relaxing noises to balance it out. Rain sounds, white noise. But she said they, quote, ruined the purity of the ocean experience. After weeks of this, I finally snapped and just started sleeping in my car.

I parked it in our driveway, reclined the seat, and I actually got my first full night of sleep in weeks. Now she's furious, saying that I'm abandoning our bed over something trivial and making her feel guilty for trying to create a peaceful home environment. I told her I'd happily come back if we could compromise on the whale sounds, but she says I'm being selfish and refusing to understand her needs.

So am I the asshole for choosing my car over the call of the wild? I wish I could hear the whale sounds. I'm going to pull up what he put here. Deep sea ocean whale sounds. Because have you been in the ocean with whales? You hear them from so far away. Yeah, it is beautiful. Like,

It's one of the most, like when you're underwater, it sounds, they can be miles away and it sounds so loud. And it's just the, it's like spiritual how cool it sounds. So I understand. Are you team whale sounds? No, trust me, I'm not team whale sounds. But I understand the theory on it. Like it is a cool sound. I honestly, I don't know if I've heard any whale sounds outside of Finding Nemo.

I'll be honest. I'm like, okay. Whale calls and underwater ambience. Two hour sleep ambience. It's going to be loud. I don't know, guys.

I don't like the bubbles. Yeah, I bet you there's some without the bubbles because that's someone on a scuba tank and you hear their breathing, I think. I'm going to be honest. It's not as bad as I was expecting. It's also not as good as I was thinking. When I've heard them, maybe that's the difference of deep sea whales. When you're in the water, I'm normally on the surface in the Bahamas and I can hear dolphins or whales and it is really cool, but it doesn't sound so deep and unnerving.

ominous. Like that actually is like nightmare fueling, like, hmm.

What did he say here? And now it makes sense. I feel like I'm in some kind of deep sea horror movie. Yeah, that sounded like it. That wouldn't relax me. I'd just be like, and the bubbles, the bubbles are really annoying. Yeah, I'm sure, look, she's doing this every night. I'm sure she's found some good ones. Hopefully. But I have a few questions. Like, why did he go straight to the car?

Is there not a couch in the house? Not a couch. Probably can still hear him though. If he's blasting them on two speakers, surround sound in their bedroom. Why does it need to be so loud? I think she needs to take a trip to the local aquarium.

And just get it out of her system. But honestly, it sounds like she's almost like Pavlov'd herself a little bit here because she's listening to them when she works from home, when she cleans. So it's like now she needs whale sounds 24-7. Yeah, she's going to turn into a whale. She's ready. She's ready to transform. Have you seen? This is such an old time movie. Is it Walrus? Oh. No.

Where were you going to go? The one where the, what's his name? I think it's called Walrus, but a guy gets turned into a walrus. Okay, similar premise. It is the oldest movie I think I've watched, and it's with this guy. He was in The Andy Griffith Show. Is it Transformation where he gets turned into a cockroach? It's like Mr. Lippet or Mr. Something. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Mr. Lippet. We made it into a movie, I think, when I was working on Warner Brothers.

The something case of Mr. Limpet? The incredible Mr. Limpet. Yeah. Limpet. Yeah. He turns into a fish. Yeah. That's what this lady wants to do. She wants to just turn into a little whale. Oh, man. Look up the walrus one real quick. It was the actor from like, he always played like a geeky guy. He's in like Freaks and Geeks. Is it called Tusk? Tusk, yeah. Who's that actor? Wait, is it a horror movie? Yeah.

Oh my God, it looks terrifying. It's a Kevin Smith movie. Justin Long. Justin Long, yeah. Justin Long turns into a walrus. Okay, the movie poster for it is actually terrifying. It's such a weird movie. Terrifying. He gets sucked into this weird guy and the guy starts putting stuff in his drinks.

And he'll wake up and all of a sudden he's got like a, is a tooth missing. And then like, you'll have a tooth implant and pretty soon he turns into a full blown walrus because this guy's doing like doing a science experiment on him. No, no thanks. So weird. Pass. Hard pass. Wow. We went on a tangent. Um,

Back to this one. Am I the asshole for sleeping in the car? No, it's actually really mature of him to do. I mean, he's not threatening divorce. He's not giving her an ultimatum. He's like, hey, I'm just going to go sleep in the car. Yeah, like this guy's got some patience that I don't have. I think day one, if someone was doing that to me, I would have been like, get the fuck out of here. Like, what?

What are you doing? Yeah, I would have freaked out before I ever let it get that far. So the fact that this guy is willing to go sleep in a car, which I don't know if you've ever done, but it hurts your back. It's not comfortable. The fact he's willing to do that to be in this relationship, you got a winner in that guy. I know. Very, very emotionally mature. Top comment has since been deleted by the user, but on the thread,

I listen to white noise sometimes to sleep. I use earbuds. Others aren't quite so considerate. My ex used to be uncomfortable and raise her arm and drop it on the bed repeatedly.

Just for that person listening to white noise. Until the white noise stopped or something? Apparently. Like, that passive-aggressive, like, ugh. Yeah, it's like when someone snores and you kick them to keep, yeah. Which, like, this is becoming really popular. People are starting to sleep in separate bedrooms. Yeah. Like, a lot of couples do because of snoring or, like, sleep apnea and CPAP machines. Yeah. I don't have a stance on it. Like, whatever you got to do to keep a relationship happy. Yeah. Yeah.

So I feel like, no, not the asshole. Maybe just separate rooms. She gets her whale. Maybe they have to soundproof it, though. Yeah, they need to sign up for therapy ASAP because it's not healthy to be listening to whale sounds on full blast. So they got some, that's like six therapy sessions at the minimum. Get a Groupon 10-pack.

But they got some stuff to work through. Groupon 10 back. There's only one comment from OP, and it's someone... It's in response to someone saying, like, oh, this story is fake. And OP goes, I wish it was, man. So... Yeah, no, he's not the asshole. I don't know. I think...

Because like listening to white noise when you're falling asleep, that's totally normal. Very. I listen to audio books. Like my girlfriend listens to podcasts. That's how I've heard of this show. So I think listening to white noise and you can always play it quietly. So like she can have her whale noises quiet and it probably wouldn't annoy him. He could put in your plugs, put in some AirPods. Full blast. But full blast whale noise is great.

crazy. That is unhinged behavior. Unhinged. Okay, moving on to this next one. This is coming from Emma the Asshole, 27 days old. Titled, I'm at the asshole for making my boyfriend's mom cry because of a petty rule.

So me, 20 female, and my boyfriend, 24 male, have been together for almost two years, and we live together. His mother is very involved in his life. Some might say overbearing, but I try to be respectful. She's nice, but has this way of pushing boundaries while acting like she still means well. So the issue. I have a no-shoes-in-the-house rule. My boyfriend is cool with it. All of my friends do it, no problem. But his mom refuses.

She claims it's rude to ask guests to take their shoes off and that it makes her feel disrespected. I've tried explaining that it's just a cleanliness thing, but she won't budge.

Last weekend, she came over and, surprise, surprise, walked in with her shoes on. I very politely, I swear, said, oh, can you take them off, please? She kind of huffs and is like, you are really going to ask me to do this? And I just stood there waiting. She sighed dramatically, took them off, and then spent the whole visit sulking.

Then, later, I get a text from my boyfriend's dad saying I made her cry and she feels like I'm trying to assert dominance over her in her son's home. Our home, actually. My boyfriend is on my side, but now his parents are acting like I've disrespected the Queen of England. Am I the asshole for standing my ground on a very normal rule?

Wow. Nothing like a good mother-in-law drama. Over shoes in a house. That's going to be fun. A fun relationship. I feel like that's kind of a, it's a hard dynamic. At least it was for me to like get over that. Like I'm 18. I have a boyfriend. I can't really, you know, talk back or like assert myself with their parents. But now it's like,

okay, I'm 31. I should be able to like tell my mother-in-law how I feel. And it's kind of hard getting over that. But like, she's also not telling her something unrealistic or unreasonable. It's like, hey, can you just take your shoes off when you come in my house? Yeah. This is the first one that I'm like, I'm actually borderline on the, it's not as clear cut for me. Really? Because. Are you a shoes in the house person? No, I like, so I, the,

My issue is that we're hearing from her, right? Okay. So in my opinion, like she's probably like, I swear it was respectfully that I said it. Like there's probably an underlying riff going on between these two that the mom feels like she's getting pushed out. She's trying to get him away from the mom. So there is something probably more behind the scenes that this is like,

an opportunity for them both to double down if that makes sense it's like it's the hill that they're both dying on yes it's like they they have issues they don't like each other this girl's watching her son with a girl that she doesn't like and now she the the girl's being protective of her new boyfriend being like god your mom's such an asshole like and so when it's like

Like, I can just so envision it. Like, the mom's, like, walking in. She's already uncomfortable and, like, knows that she's in this person's house and stuff like that. And then the first thing, she's like, can you take your shoes off? And it's, like, kind of a slap in the face to her that's, like... Okay. Like, she singled me out already. So I just don't know. Like, I want to hear the mom write and see her version of the story on this one. I love when we get two sides to the story. We do do that sometimes. I don't know, though. I'm like...

I get, like, this is definitely their power, like, struggle coming to light. Yeah, that's what... You just nailed it. Which is so funny because, like, the mom is like, you're just trying to assert your dominance over me. But aren't you doing the same thing by wearing shoes in the house? Mm-hmm. Like, do you know how much...

stuff is on the bottom of your shoes yeah i do i do i have that rule in my house too but what i would say is like if i have a guest that comes and they and they don't take off their shoes it's not the end of the world to me you're just gonna swiffer after yeah it's like what's the big deal like they tracked in some dirt i don't have carpet but like if i like white carpet maybe okay yeah it's hardwood and if they walk around in shoes it's like i don't care you're a guest in my house do what you want like

So, so that's where it's like, that's me. And when I have people over, I'm like, oh, like they, they're taking the time to come into my life and like spend time with me. Do what you want. Okay. If you ask to take off your shoes, I'll say, yeah, we normally do, but it doesn't matter where I feel like this girl might be like,

Hi. Will you take off your shoes? Yeah. Well, no mention of like culture was in this story. But like I know like certain cultures like you take off your shoes. No ifs, ands or buts. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. But there's no mention of that here. So it's giving just cleanliness issue. Yeah. Cleanliness. No, it's a power trip. This is there. This is the hill they're both dying on. I've just seen too many people shit on sidewalks.

You're taking your shoes off. And dogs too. Like, gosh, I've seen the people that live with dogs in New York City. I'm like, that is so like having Bowie poop on the sidewalk every day is like not, not right. No, it feels wrong. I was, I was in New York a couple of weeks ago and this pug just like strolled out and just pooped right in the center of the sidewalk. As like, people are like, it's a full sidewalk and it is sad. Like,

I think those people, like you need to buy your dog. They sell it as like a subscription even. It's like a patch of grass. It's like a piece of sod. Yeah. And you just put it in a tray. Yeah. And you can like literally rinse it. I heard of a dog that was trained to poop on the crates in New York City. So like it knows when it passes a crate to poop. One of those like, yeah, crates that are underground. What about its little paws? I know. But it's like the dog, it's a little golden retriever. Does it have boots? Yeah.

I don't know. This is a friend of a friend. I think my girlfriend was telling me this story. This feels wrong. Yeah, but I'm like, that is so sad that like a golden retriever is trained to poop on a crate because it's not seeing nature. Like, or like a sidewalk crate. I don't love that. I don't know.

Great? Is that what it is? Great? Great? Yeah, what are those called? Those vents? Yeah, great. Great. Yeah, great. G-R-A-T-E. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's super goofy. Buy the patch of grass for your dog, people. But I think this one. Overall vote, what are you going for? Overall vote...

I'm not strong. I think she very well could be an asshole. I think we need more information. Oh, okay. So you might be on the boat of everyone sucks here. Yeah. I think it's because like I'm saying, like if someone were, especially my, I guess it would be my girlfriend's

Yeah. If she walked into the house with shoes, I wouldn't care. Are you kidding me? Like, I'm not going to, like, tell her to take off her shoes and make a big fuss of it. Like... See, I'm like, I think not the asshole. I'm like, your house, your rules. Yeah, it's asserting dominance for sure. Yeah.

I mean, you got it at some point. Yeah, maybe they're not there yet. After two years, I'm like, they're living together. I think there's asshole traits on both ends right now. Okay. I mean, they both need to give a little. Yes. Maybe if she really doesn't want to take her shoes off, maybe she buys those. Oh, yeah. Those little booties. Yeah. I was just on a set a couple weeks ago and they had like,

They look like painter booties and they just pop them on people's shoes to not get backdrops dirty. That'd be great. Just get her that. Get her one of those and that would be funny to see the next step. Okay, that's actually a really fair compromise. And then if she refuses to wear those, then we know it's more about her trying to control. And you know what else is a good option is just go out to dinner. Don't let her in your house. If you know it's going to start a fight, then don't even let the situation start. Top comment.

Not the asshole. If your boyfriend is aligned, how is he handling the situation? I'd expect him to call them and shut it down. The dad shouldn't be attacking you, and your boyfriend should be standing up for you. It sounds like he agrees, but what is he doing to solve the issue? And that is true, the dad texting her being like, you made my wife cry. Yeah, it sounds like the family doesn't like this girl. I don't think so. Or...

Have you ever heard the term enmeshment? No, I love it though. They're a little enmeshed. Like their boundaries are kind of blurred. Maybe their relationship is closer.

Than it should be. Yeah, I could see that. Mom's really trying to insert herself in his life. And that's, you know, that's her darling little boy. And he's trying to, he's, yeah, I know I could, I could see that for sure. He's trying to start his own new life and get away from them, but they reclon back. Yeah. OP does respond to that. He's pretty nonchalant about it. Understands that she's being overbearing and rude, but annoying and doesn't share my frustration with her attitude.

Someone replies and goes, then you need to make it his problem as well. Wow. So they're really taking this girl's side. Yeah, they're popping off a little bit. I'm less quick to do so. You're giving it a little more grace. But that's why a middle ground wouldn't be a top comment. You know, the top comments either going to be like, you got to take a side in these things. And I guess I didn't. I'm leaning towards the mom side, though.

Believe it or not. I just love you. Yeah, I am on the girl's side. I'm not the asshole. Not the asshole. But okay, moving along. Okay, this one is coming from The Vault. Six years old. Coming from Am I the Asshole? Titled, Am I the Asshole for hiring a private investigator to catch my husband cheating?

Over the past couple of weeks, I've noticed my husband acting differently. He's been coming home later, taking more frequent trips to conferences, and just overall being more distant. It's probably been a month since we've had sex, and not for a lack of trying on my part. He always says he's too tired or he's not in the mood, which is fine, but it's just been all of a sudden and not very like him.

One of my friends suggested I hire someone to see where he's going and if he's actually being truthful. She said I was well within my right to be concerned. I hired a young woman through a company to follow him. He had a surgery conference in a city about two hours away. He told me exactly where the conference would be. After thinking the decision over for several days, I decided to go through with it.

I told the woman I hired to go to the hotel and see if he is actually cheating. I gave her pictures of him, pictures of his car, and even told her what he would be wearing. I was constantly having second thoughts of whether I'm insane for even going to such lengths. She says he wasn't doing anything suspicious the entire day, just sitting through lectures and going to different workshops. But after the conference, he didn't go back to his hotel room. He went to the bar and ordered a drink.

She said that my husband saw her and walked up to her and started a conversation. She said he was pleasant, not super flirty. She said he respected her boundaries and was just making conversation. She told me that most guys she's been hired to follow are usually much more forward and flirty, but it's not out of character for my husband to be more patient and a more methodical guy in the room. Anyways, she went to the bathroom and called me to tell me what was happening.

After describing their conversation, it didn't sound like he was trying to get with her, but she said she could be more flirty if I wanted her to be. I reluctantly gave her permission to try and get my husband to cheat. And a couple of hours later, she said she convinced him to go up to her hotel room to fuck.

This happened yesterday. I was shocked. I'm still shocked. It was that easy? All it took was some woman in her 30s to be flirty and he would throw away years of marriage? I'm numb. I'm not sure how to feel. I don't even have to know if any of this would have happened had I not hired the private investigator in the first place. Was I out of line? Am I the asshole here? What does this say about me as a spouse? Did they fuck?

Edit to add, she didn't actually go through with it. That would have been, I mean. It's a movie. Yeah, like get the script ready. But I mean, you have your answer. Yeah. But is she the asshole for hiring someone? I don't think so. I feel like if you're that paranoid, you have reason to be. And I don't know where you fall on this, but I feel like

not the asshole for hiring the PI, but now that you did and have this answer, like you have to kind of call it like the relationship clearly isn't working. I don't know. No, that's where I was at. Like to get to that point where you are going to hire a private investigator to go stalk your husband at a conference to get to that point, your relationship's not good. Like

Like there's something going on there. So like I think she just needed confirmation. She already knew she needed confirmation. She got her confirmation. So I don't think she's an asshole. No. But yeah, that's a wild story. It's literally a movie. Like I want this private investigator's job. That sounds so fun. Okay. Top comment on the post though.

What escort service did you hire this PI from? Yeah, I know. Like when I was visualizing, I had my eyes closed. I'm like thinking a private investigator. And then it's like he's flirting with her. I'm like, oh, she must be like attractive. I'm like, who is this? Like how did you get a hot one? I was envisioning a guy in like a trench coat and a little hat. Maybe she wasn't hot. And that's even more of a flag. Like maybe it was like he just is looking for anything. Oh my gosh. Okay. Well, I mean, this is six years old.

There is only one comment from OP. What'd he say? So someone goes, you're the asshole for doing this at all, but telling her to tempt him is really the asshole move. I suspect, though, you already know this. And OP responds to that and goes, all he had to do was say no.

Yeah. Which is true. Yeah. Like, hey, I'm married. Sorry. Yeah. No, thanks. Like, it's one thing to sit at a bar on a work trip and have a conversation with a stranger. But then, you know, she's seducing him. All he had to do was say no. Yeah. Versus, okay, let's go. What room are you? And it's like, I can be more flirty. It's like, it wasn't like...

I don't know. It didn't seem like it took a lot just based on the story for him to be down. Yeah. So I think it was a right read on all parts. It's like, look, he didn't do anything wrong. He's like talking to me. I can tell there's like interests and stuff, but it's not like he did anything wrong. And she's like, that's how he is. Like that's she. Yeah, she knows it's her husband. He's like, that's how that's how he operates. I know this is how he would go about it. Yeah. I don't think the asshole. I'm.

Oh, I'm really torn, though, because someone does say everyone sucks here. The relationship sucks. Yeah. I think that's the key. The relationship sucks that it even got there. So it's a situation, again, this is why movies are made. It's like a situation that shouldn't happen. Yeah. But it worked out for her. She got the answers that she needed to be able to cut ties in this relationship. Yeah. But the fact that it got there, they both suck. I'm with you. Overall vote did end up being everyone sucks. Yeah.

Yeah, which is fair. I think that's fair. But see, I'm going back and forth because now I'm like, I honestly, I don't know, because there's so many stories to where someone's like, hey, are you cheating? And they do the thing that you're supposed to do and talk to them and communicate and confront them. And then the person just lies.

I, it's, it's not more that the OP is, is an asshole for doing it. I really don't think so. I think she, she, she's, it's more the relationship sucks. It shouldn't have got to that point that she needed to do that. And then once she went down that, that path, the relationship was over. If, if, if he didn't cheat, the relationship's still over at that point. Yeah. You're hiring a private investigator. Yeah.

Like the fact that she got her confirmation makes her less of an asshole because it proved she was right. Yeah. But if she was wrong, she's an asshole for even trying. So it's like the relationship is done. Yeah. It was doomed. Yeah. You don't think there's any couples therapy to save that one? No. I don't think so. I don't either. I don't either. But...

Six years old. OP if you're out there. I would love an update because we don't have an update on this one This is how we got left. No chance. They're together still no chance. Honestly, though. I don't know Because yeah hiring a private investigator to follow your spouse is wild I'm you

I would have to be done after that because then my radar, like my sense of trust in that person, it's shattered. Yeah. There's no coming back for me. No. No coming back. But I've got one more for you today. Let's hear it. Okay. This one is coming from AITAH. It is five months old. Titled, Am I the asshole for calling off my wedding because my fiance wanted to invite her ex?

My fiance wanted to invite her ex to our wedding. From what I know, he was a dick who always put her down and told her he was the best she could ever do. Naturally, I asked her why the hell does she want him at our wedding? She said she wanted to shove it in his face that she did amazingly for herself, and she got someone way better. While I appreciated the compliment, I asked her, are you really so hung up on him that you're going to make our wedding about him?

Honestly, once I said it, it was like someone else told me. I didn't even realize what I was saying, and I didn't understand until I even said it. I told her that she shouldn't bother to invite him because we weren't getting married anymore.

She was stunned and eventually apologized and told me to forget about her ex. I felt angry and almost told her she's the one who needs to forget about him. I don't know. She spent the day telling me that she's sorry for even bringing it up. I'll be honest, I'm even reconsidering the entire relationship now. Am I the asshole?

I don't know why, but that one made my heart hurt a little bit. Yeah, I was like, because that feels like a lot of these are outlandish. This one feels like it's like, that's something that I feel like a lot of people could go through. Yeah. Yeah.

But just do what everyone else does and see if they're watching your Instagram story. I don't like, don't invite them to your wedding. Yeah, I would not invite to the wedding. Like, I honestly, I'm so on the guy's train on this. Yeah. Like, I don't think he's an asshole. I think he was just putting clues together and then.

started to confirm like he's like oh my god I've been overlooking this stuff like is she even in love with him or is she just using him to make that ex jealous and like truly like look what I got like look I got better than you now and I'm assuming that's what he meant when I was rethinking my whole relationship was that like who knows if that other relationship was even over yeah like that could have been happening this whole time

Oh, that sucks. It's bad. I can't even imagine if my fiance was like, oh yeah, I'm inviting my ex. What's funny is when it first happened, I'm like, oh, that's cool. Like I thought they were all friends. If they're friends. Yeah. Yeah. Like that's something that would be different if like, if you had an ex that like you dated in middle school or high school or whatever. And like you've since just remained really good friends, like family friend or whatever. Like that's so different, but this is purely emotional.

Out of spite. Yeah. And again, putting your marriage on the spite to be like, look, I'm married. Like, you sit in the audience and see what you could have had. That's psycho. It's kind of unhinged. Yeah. It's bad. It's really bad. I think he figured it out. Put this guy on traitors. Oh, my God. Is this breakup worthy? Like, he's, like, calling off the wedding right now. But, like, would you even move forward with this relationship? Yeah. Like, I...

I think it is breakup worthy, but it's also he has to hear out. Because at this point, it is...

It's his suspicion. Yeah. He hasn't confirmed it. He hasn't hired the private investigator. Hasn't gone there. So he needs to hear her out at least. You can't just make a decision. If you were going to get married, that's a big decision already. So you can't just make this decision alone based on theories. But I think he has a good idea that this happened now and they need to have some real conversations. For sure. Do you find it kind of weird that this...

this ex might even say yes to coming. Like, why even invite him? Like, he's probably not going to say yes. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's kind of embarrassing that you'd invite him. Yeah. Yeah. Like, are you not embarrassed you're inviting your ex? That's why I was like, they have to be friends still. Like, he's going to think you're kind of

He's going to think you're a loser. Would he go? Would he go? Did they say that he was he invited or was it just that they were thinking of inviting? She wants wanted to. Yeah. Which I'm like, if he said yes, then I'd be like, oh, there's some funny business going on. Yeah. And then we would need the P.I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Oh, God. This one is so like that's so realistic for this to happen. I know. It's so realistic. Yeah.

It's really bad. I wouldn't want to be in his position. You're just cringing on the inside. You're just like, oh. Because it's just the worst. He's like, yeah, I don't know. It's so clear that she has feelings for the ex. That's all it is. It's like there's no arguing that. The fact that she's even contemplating bringing him to the wedding, there's feelings there. Even if it's to laugh or to show off. Yeah. Yeah.

There's something there and he can't ignore that. I think so. The top comment on this one, not the asshole for calling off the wedding. If her fixation on her ex raised serious doubts about the relationship, the fact that she wanted to invite him to shove it in his face shows that she's still emotionally tied to proving something to him.

Yeah, I agree. Oof. She's wrapped up emotionally for this. And who knows? Like, if it was just to show on the face, it's got to be more than that. Like, she's not over that past relationship. No. Next comment after that, the...

This, at minimum, she is not prepared for marriage. At worst, she still has feelings for him. I'm not saying to end the relationship, but at least postpone the wedding for several months until you have more time to clear your uneasiness and feel again she is the one. Don't take unnecessary risks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're on the same boat. Yeah. We're of the people on this one. We have an update. Oh, yeah. We have an update.

So we are going to try some premarital counseling first. Our wedding has gone from being called off to being postponed indefinitely. My fiance tried to explain why she wanted to invite her ex, but not only did she keep changing her answers, each one made it way worse for me. First, she tried to explain that she just wanted some payback. I told her, and if he doesn't care, are you going to rub it in his face with our first child, our first home?

She said she didn't mean it that way and that she just wanted to prove her worth, which I then told her that I guess her ex is the only one who can determine her worth. Ooh, that one...

That one hurt. Dude, this guy's good. We kept going like this for a while, and there wasn't a single answer she gave that didn't boil down to she cares what her ex thinks, and apparently she can't be happy unless her ex felt some sort of way about it.

She denied it, but honestly, I find it hard to believe her. I don't want our marriage to be only worth something if her ex is the only one who can determine it. I refuse to be with someone whose happiness revolves around her ex's feelings. I decided to at least try some counseling. We have been together for years now. FYI, she was with her ex for about two years. Three years later, she met me, and we have been together for four years.

I figured I should try, so at least I can say I tried. Was that seven years, though? Was with the ex for two years. Oh. Three years later met me. We've been together for four years. She hasn't been with this person for seven years? That we know of. There's no way. There's no way. Yeah, there's no way. There's no way. Yeah, I think there's some involvement still. Call me paranoid. Yeah. Call me paranoid, but there's...

Something going on there still. And props to this guy for being, this guy is very emotional. Like his emotional intelligence is very high. Yeah. Because even like the easy thing to be is like, go run. And he's like, no, I'll go through therapy. Like I'll try to save this, even though I have such suspicion. So he's trying, he's doing everything right. I give him props all around the board, but I think he knows the answer.

I think so. It seems like very emotionally mature, like a self-aware king, like really pulling his ego out of this and just being like, I'm going to give it a shot. Try some counseling, which...

Is it necessarily the wrong answer? Like I know a lot of us like that sunken cost fallacy. Have you heard that before? I know what sunken cost is. Yeah. So it's like you've committed so much to this relationship already. Yeah. It's like I don't want to back out. Exactly. And lose what we started. And I'm like maybe he's there with it. But like I honestly I'm like kind of perplexed. I'm like seven years girl. Like you said yes to marrying this person. You didn't even get ring clarity. So like once he proposed and you're like.

Like, I'm not over my ex. Like, I should call this off. Like, no, you're still going through with it. But like seven years. She needs to go to individual therapy.

Yeah. And get off Instagram because I'm sure she's sleuthing that. She's got a fin stuff for sure. If it was seven years ago and she's still that obsessed with the ex, you know she's looking at his stories every day. A hundred percent. Yeah. A hundred percent. And then I would just start thinking about everything. It's like, oh, now do you want to go with me on this vacation just to like post that you're happy and shove it in your ex's face and all these things. Like I would be questioning everything.

Now that you mention it, I think I would be too because I'd be like, was any of this genuine? Or am I just a prop to make the ex jealous? Yeah. Am I always going to be your B, plan B? Oh. Yeah. I feel like...

I feel like, yeah. I don't even know if counseling is worth it. Yeah. I don't think – I think he knows his answer. But look, at the end of the day, nothing bad is going to come from therapy. Like he can still voice out all this good stuff. That's true. It sounds like he owns her in every argument they have. Yeah. So the therapist is going to take his side. That –

Oh, you're so right. God, what you just said there, like there's nothing bad that would come out of therapy. Like it would truly all be good one way or another. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. I think it's just going to further what he already knows and believes that she's going to keep digging herself in holes and it'll just be even more clarity that he needs to get out of there. I mean, he absolutely read her when she was like, she just wanted to prove her worth and

which I then told her, I guess her ex is the only one who can determine her worth. Like that is such a read. Yeah. Oh, I'm telling you, this guy's great. Top comment on this one. Not the asshole. After seven years broken up, four years out of the seven with you and sounds like she is still not over him. I wouldn't dare marry her. And that's a mic drop.

Exactly. If the ex were to show some interest, she'd drop OP in a hot minute. Oh, yeah. And like that's like the thing is she's trying to get to that moment.

Like with the wedding, it's like her goal is to make him feel like, damn, I missed out. Like I made the worst decision of my life. So he might be like, I want you back. The one that got away? I can't know. Yeah, that's that's her goal. She wants him to still like her. Well, and inviting the ex to the wedding. I wonder if she wants that I object moment.

to like finally be back and be like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, like the movie scene. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like stop the wedding. Stop. I can't let you go through with this. I bet you it is. She's living a fairy tale. There's no other reason to incite this kind of drama. Exactly. That's what, that's really what it goes down to though is like by show, inviting him, sending

seeing his look of despair like oh my gosh she's inviting that moment where he's like i'm so i fucked up yeah i fucked up i you're the you're the most gorgeous person i should have stayed with you

But then it's like, okay, you got your response that you dreamed of. What's your answer? Where do you even go from there? It's like, well, I always loved you too. Or is it like, well, you missed out. Now I'm saying goodbye for good. It's like, no, you're not going to do that. Oh my God. Why would you even want that on your wedding day? Yeah. That and then that proves like, no, she needs it. She's so insecure. Like she's...

Oh, that sucks. Like I'm debating even if I can give certain people plus ones for my wedding because I'm like, they're too much of a liability. And this girl wants to invite her ex. Crazy. Yeah. Absolutely crazy. Look, therapy props to this guy because you said you called it. He's a self-aware king or so. Yeah. Self-aware king. Yeah.

But I don't even think you need to do therapy. You know what's going on. I think you do. Seven years. When I heard the years, I'm like, no, no, no.

Yeah. She needs to go to therapy and then report back to him. And I'm like, wait, how old are these people? But there was no mention of age in the post. Like that's what I would need as the guy in that relationship. I would need to know that she went to therapy. She is off Instagram. She is worked on herself and like is committed to this relationship. That's what I would want to hear. That's the only thing I would want, like would hear. Yeah. Because otherwise I wouldn't believe any of it.

I just tried to find some comments from OP just to see if there's anything else for us. There's no mention of age still. We're 15 and 14. Oh, I know they're right. No, but I mean, at least it's been seven years since she dated the ex. So I'm like, at least they're in their 20s, I would assume. But OP goes, they aren't fucking friends. He was abusive and they haven't talked in years. So like we get that context.

Yeah, I think he, look, they've talked in years. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. People were like trying to like shit on him and be like, women just can't win, can they? And OP goes, right, because I'm the one who wanted to invite him to the wedding. What? Do you think if I was a woman and my ex a guy, I'd magically be like, hey, it's okay. Invite your ex and make her an important part of our wedding. Yeah. Yeah.

People got a little goofy in the comments. Yeah, they took her side on that. Some, but like mostly overall, people were saying and saying, hey, not the asshole. Don't marry this gal. I think, I wish there was an update. Well, I mean, OP was, I keep shutting my computer. I'm like, open it again. OP was commenting as recent as five hours ago. Oh, okay. So this is new. Yeah.

I'm invested. We got to call this guy. Okay, wait. Last comment five hours ago. We have talked a few times, mostly about finances and property. I picked up my stuff from our old place. She lived in our apartment before I moved in, so I moved out. Good. I think it's done. It's done. I think it's done. I think he got the answers he needed.

At least done or at least he's really taking space and is like, let's go back to dating therapy and really sort this out. Yeah, that's that's where it's at. And I don't I again, I don't even think it's couples therapy. Like this guy sounds like he's got a good head on his shoulders. I completely agree. She needs to figure it out and come back to him. I think that's where that relationship's at. Yeah.

Thank you so much for coming on. This is what I do every night. So it's like, Hey, you're welcome back anytime. This is great. Bring your girlfriend. I'm like, if she knows a thing or two about Reddit, we can always use some good quality takes. She always makes fun of me for my takes too. She's like, you're so like problematic that you always are like, this is the, she's always like, you need to like go extra and be like, no. I think you did good. I think like, I feel like you had very like,

actually reasonable attainable takes which is like a part of the battle here on the show it's like okay everyone's gonna jump to divorce but like

Is that really what people are going to do? Practicals are a very practical. Yes, there you go. I was like, wait, is there a way we can all get along? Just a little kumbaya moment here. But where can people find you? Anything exciting coming up? I know people need to go and watch Traders for sure because it's truly some of the best reality TV I've watched in a while. If you haven't watched Traders, you can watch that on Peacock. It's so much fun. Even if you don't watch a lot of reality, it's like...

Like I used to watch Survivor was the only reality show. Yeah. And it really is fun. It sucks you in. It really does. It's like it's a gamer show because there's strategy, but there's also like the reality TV type fix with it too. Totally. Like it made me more of a Bravo fan just by watching it.

I know. I know all the Bravo people. So now I'm like going down Southern charm and all those things. I'm like, I've been sleeping on this stuff. I know. I saw the Southern charm and then I'm like, people are like, okay, we got to get Gabby on like housewives or something. Oh my gosh. You on summer house or something fun. I'm like, they're all, they all,

like Southern Charm is my favorite because you can tell they're all genuine friends. Like they've been friends their whole lives and it's real drama. I don't think I've ever seen that one. It's fun. Especially, I saw some of the old stuff and the old stuff's wild. It's a different world when you're born in California looking at that. I'm going to have to, I have no idea what the culture is over there. I'm like, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna have to dive in. But,

All of Dylan's links will be in the description of this episode. Go give him a follow. Watch Traders. But thank you again. Thank you. And until next time, bye. Bye. Just kidding. Who would I be if I left you with an episode that was only an hour and ten minutes? That's not us. Oh, that'd be terrible. Terrible. Heavens. Heavens to Betsy. Please, no.

So here we are. I've got Justin for a couple more stories. And we're keeping on this paranoid or perfectly executed theme. I'm subbing in. You're subbing in, yeah. It's his eye. Yeah. And I'm dealing with some crazy allergies, everyone. Go to your local farmer's market. Get some local bee pollen because when these allergies start hitting and you're not getting ahead of it, whoo,

It is rough out here. Rough out here. Yeah. You're doing better today, though. I have been on a Sudafed Claritin Flonase cocktail. And let me tell you, after five days of struggling, feeling okay right now. I'm surprised you're not just, like, wired, amped up. Um, I took my Sudafed early. Because I was, I mean, knowing that, I'm kind of surprised you were taking a nap. I...

Because I feel so terrible. I'm tired. I'm just tired. Those allergies are, whew. Yeah. It feels like an aggressive cold, but I don't know. Allergies. I'm sneezing nonstop. I just can see the pollen in the air. You can actually. You can. It's just blowing around out here. But without further ado, let's get into these stories. Also, for our audio listeners, just in case, who is joining me on these stories? JT. JT.

I don't think you've ever called yourself that on the show. Justin Time. It's Justin. Okay, this first one. It's ya boy. Ya boy, Justin. This is coming from True Off My Chest, posted eight hours ago. It is titled, I believe I may have caused the end of my friend's marriage. My buddy, 42 male, I've known since middle school, and his wife have two kids. They've been married for 16 years.

Apparently, he's had very low sperm count for years, and they were quite lucky to conceive twice. Regardless, this past Saturday, they're over at our house with another couple for dinner, and we're all laughing and the conversation is light. And then his wife asks us a hypothetical question. Quote, say your husband asked you for a paternity test. Would you give him one?

Well, I know my wife's stance on this. She is strongly against accusing women of infidelity under the guise of these tests. So I beat her to it and said laughing, quote, if I ever asked, and I never would, she would probably get me positive results within a day or two stapled to divorce papers. And that would be that. But I would never ask because I love and trust my wife. And no, there's never any doubt.

I think if you're the guy asking, your marriage is already probably screwed and you're killing time till one of you finally starts the ball rolling on divorce. Okay. Damn. Well, guess who didn't realize that was not a fun, harmless hypothetical, but in fact, a shotgun loaded question pointed right at me. Yep. Yours truly.

Turns out my buddy's wife is nine weeks pregnant, and he, knowing his count is very low, quote, just needed to make sure, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Big mistake, man. She was willing to give him the confirmation. Upset, he would question it, though. My comments were like gasoline on a bonfire, and from what my wife just texted me, they may be separating over this issue.

I texted them both to say I was so sorry and didn't mean to imply anything and every situation has nuance, is unique, etc. But I doubt it helped at all. Guys, why are you asking this to your wives of many years? Just sad all around and now their third child may be born into a one-parent household. He could have started with the urologist to find out if his count had improved. So many options before accusing his wife of cheating.

Well, I don't think really OP had anything to do with this. No. They may feel like they did, but really it was already in motion. The wife clearly brought it up in this type of environment to start a war. Yeah.

Or honestly to commence the next battle in the ongoing war. Or just to be like, hey, here's other people that aren't us. You're making me feel crazy for being offended you asked for one. And this is your friends. Like, listen to your friends, buddy. I guess because she probably already went to her friends and was like, guess what Dave asked me. Or it's just like...

He's asking. He's like, he's like, babe, my sperm count is really low. How are we having a third kid? And she's like, I don't know what to tell you, but we are. And then in his head, he's like, well,

My sperm count is so low. It's not mine. I want a paternity test. Did he just find out the sperm count thing after? Because I would assume. Why is it an issue now? I would assume he is known. So they have two kids. There's no context of how old those two kids are. You're kind of curious. Are there age gaps between the kids? Did they struggle to have those kids? Like just because it's low sperm count doesn't mean they're not strong swimmers. It's not like he's.

sterile. Like he has some. Yeah. So maybe his wife is extremely fertile to make up for his, you know, infertility. The only thing I can think of is he saw something, read something online or in some other form, heard a story from someone else and was like, oh, when you have low sperm count and your wife gets pregnant,

it must mean she's cheating. Like there's gotta be some rhetoric that all of a sudden is starting to infiltrate his mind to have him jump to that question. And I don't know what it's like being married for 16 years. I don't know, you know, how comfortable you get with someone, but I can't imagine you're comfortable enough that all of a sudden after two kids and now on the third, you're just going to be like,

Can we double check? Well, and that's where I'm at because you can put yourself, think about us and our relationship right now. We're six years in. If I found out I was pregnant tomorrow, you wouldn't jump to, oh, paternity test. Right. And they've been together 16 years and have two kids already. So what's, what in his head made him paranoid to where he thought, oh, well, the third one

You only get lucky twice, not three times. Third one, definitely not mine. He was being a bit paranoid. Right. And I wonder why. And that's why I wonder if it's like something he saw recently or is there something else he's spiraling about? Because there's also the reality that there could be marriage struggles happening.

At 16 years. And there could be some other things he's maybe catching on to potentially. I'm not choosing sides. I'm just curious because it seems very weird to jump from zero to 100. Yeah. But honestly, I don't know. I feel like I feel like he could just be paranoid. Like he's just spitting out of control. Yeah. Like my sperm counts low. OK, well, you're not sterile. Like you still have some.

And you clearly have two other kids like or he's projecting. Yeah. Or he's cheating. And I don't know, like people project and say and do crazy shit when they're the ones that are guilty. Yeah. Well, and the other thing that's interesting about it is how OP is feeling like they caused it, that they caused additional turmoil in this relationship. But then you would you could say that about, you know, a lot of people comment about our relationship.

And some people at live shows and the comments and all these things have told us, I've, you know, because of the podcast, because of you guys, I left my partner. I realized we weren't right. That doesn't mean we're sitting here causing all these breakups. We're just exposing things that people may not see themselves. Just reading Reddit stories, man. Which is what OP did in this sense.

They said, like, here's the reality. Yeah. She asked the question. I answered. There's no fault. No, there's no fault. And I think OP responded perfectly. I think that was a great execution. Like, if you're asking for a paternity test in your marriage...

It's already got issues. That might be the straw that breaks the camel's back, but it doesn't mean there weren't 10 already there, 10 other issues. And that paternity test is like, how did he get there? Is he projecting? Is he paranoid? Is there issues with them? Either way, he asked for it. Kind of inappropriate. If you have doubts, why do you have those doubts? Evaluate those versus like,

I want a paternity test because that's not ever going to have good results. Or typically it hasn't in a lot of these stories we've read. I know. Is it somehow feel like he's not accusing as much when you ask it that way versus just saying, are you cheating? Is it not my kid?

I mean, it's the same thing, but maybe somehow it's like, oh, let's do a paternity test. Doesn't sound so attacking, but it is. Yeah. Just in his mind. If you more approached it from a you standpoint, my sperm count is really low. This is a big surprise that we would have a third kid. I should look at my sperm count. And OP does get into this a little bit. So there's a comment from someone saying,

And they're kind of attacking OP a little bit here. You're looking at it through rose-colored glasses, OP. Try to be in his shoes. I highly doubt you wouldn't have had these thoughts as well if you were in his situation. It's another to speak it out loud and accuse.

Yes, the whole issue of cheating wives and raising someone else's baby has been blown up on social media and overblown, a little over-exaggerated. And your friend probably looked a little too deep into it. Doesn't take away from the fact it does still happen enough to be a topic. Just look over at the subreddit of 23andMe, Ancestry. Fucking shitshow because of exactly this.

Adding to him very likely being insecure about his potency and already having two miracle babies and now a third on the way, who wouldn't be confused, surprised, and a myriad of other emotions? Of course it got into his head. It's another issue how he handled it poorly. Should have gone to the doctors again, rechecked, etc. Sometimes sperm count are affected because of stress, diet, and various persons' environmental influence.

I'm anyways in the camp mandatory paternity and DNA test at birth, not only to determine paternity, prevent switch at birth, but also to check for gene defects, inherited illnesses, et cetera. And that is a hot take. Mandatory paternity tests at birth. The thing is, a paternity test is different than a DNA test to check for illnesses. So you can do a DNA test and not look at paternity at all.

Yeah, I don't know. Hot take. Hey, listen. They can choose to do however they want, and as long as they find a partner that's on board,

Yeah. You guys go to your thing. I mean, the switch to a birth thing is a big fear for a lot of people, especially if the baby gets taken out of the room for tests and stuff. I know, that was so common. That was so common for a while. I feel like they, didn't you say they kind of tightened that up? Yeah, they've tightened that up a little bit. I think they've changed how they, at least at a lot of hospitals, like the hospitals that I have family members that have given birth at,

The baby doesn't leave the room. Right. Like they have a bassinet in the room versus going to a centralized nursery. So that's nice. But I mean, we've had stories in the past where the husband thought the wife was cheating, did a DNA test on the kid. Kid was switched at birth. Like that has been a story on one of our episodes. Is it wrong to be paranoid about

No, but it's kind of how you approach it. And that's what that comment said under all the muck of what

Word vomit was in there, but OP responds to it, okay? OP says,

Less likely as time goes on, but even if it's 1% or 0.1%, there are 300 million people, many of them snipped and having sex. Failed vasectomy pregnancies are happening every single day, but it's never people's first thought. It's always, ah, has to be she cheated. Guys can start with themselves first and not point the sights on her at all. Well, and how would you ever actually know, though?

Because as long as there's a 0.1, 0.0001, there's still a number there. It's not zero. There's still a chance. Yeah. Someone wins the lottery. You know, it happens even though the odds are extremely low. So it's, you never can be conclusive. I mean. You'll never know. I mean, I guess, you know, in the sense of eternity test, there's no denying, but it's

I 100% agree, start with yourself and don't go for the accusation. Yeah. But for someone who's already that paranoid, you'll never have a concrete yes. Unless you do the paternity test. Or unless you did it secretly, which people also have done. I think we've read things on that. Which I'm curious what people would prefer. And this is an interesting one because it's like, I think for me,

I would... Oh, it's so hard. It's so hard. But I would almost rather prefer not knowing. Like, if my partner, if you had doubts and you're like, God, this kid really doesn't look like me. Let me just be sure. I would almost rather not know. And, like, if that's a weird thing you have to get over, then I'm like, but there are a lot of cracks. Like, if you get that far, there's obviously a lot of cracks in our relationship. But...

I'm thinking I'm going to make this one the poll.

of would you rather have your partner talk to you about the doubts, talk about a paternity test, whether it's, hey, I think our kid was switched at birth. It might not be just, oh, you cheated, but would you rather them talk to you about it or secretly do the paternity test and then life goes on and you never have to know? I'm sure that's happened. And I'm sure there's people who have done that and have never said a word, been happy and all buttoned up from there on out. Yeah, I'm curious.

Leave it to the poll. Leave it to the poll. Put it to the people. I'm excited to see what you guys think. But top comment on this one. Their marriage was over long before you opened your mouth. Came here to say this.

Next comment, he could have a low count, but particularly modile, spunky boys, or his wife produces loads of eggs and it's pretty much permanently at breeding temperature. It's far more complex than low count equals unlikely. He's an idiot to jump to this, and it signifies a bigger underlying trust issue.

possibly he could have been depressed about what he thinks low sperm means for him a good while but he should have talked about it it could be his own shame lashing out but even so he's an idiot um this next comment also

Thank you. Infertile does not mean sterile. Infertile just means it's harder to get pregnant or make someone pregnant. Not impossible to get pregnant or impossible to make someone pregnant. If they haven't been using any birth control, it's very likely that he is the father of that baby. Next comment. Exactly. Low count doesn't mean no count. And it only takes one. That's right. Yeah. That's right. Yeah, there we go.

Moving on to the next one. All right. This one is a very peculiar problem. It is coming from AITAH, 12 days old, titled, Am I the asshole for refusing to let my cousin name her baby after me because of a family prophecy? Prophecy.

I, 23 female, have a cousin, Lila, 25 female, who is very into family lore, spiritual omens, and old prophecies that have been passed down through our great-grandmother's side. Most of the time, I just go along with it because it's harmless. Stuff like, never plant rosemary on a full moon, or our bloodline has a connection to the ocean. Weird, but whatever.

Well, now Lila's pregnant, and things have gotten intense. Last week, she announced that she wants to name her daughter after me. I was flattered at first and asked why she chose my name. That's when she got all serious and said, quote, because you're the chosen one. Uh, excuse me?

She explained that according to a family prophecy, a girl born into our bloodline with my name would have a great spiritual awakening, unlock ancient family powers, and become the protector of our lineage. I laughed, thinking she was joking.

She wasn't. She said she felt her baby was meant to be the true heir to the prophecy, and by giving her my name, she could absorb my connection to whatever mystical forces our great-grandmother supposedly tapped into. Then she got weirdly intense and said, quote, I need you to release the name to her.

I asked what that meant, and she said that for the magic to work, I needed to stop using my name and let it fully belong to her daughter. I was like, quote, Lila, you want me to give up my own name? She nodded and said I could pick a new one, something neutral and mundane, so I wouldn't compete for the energy. I thought this was absolutely insane and told her, hell no, my name is my name.

She got really upset and said I was being selfish with my spiritual destiny and that I should be honored that her child was meant to fulfill the prophecy. Now, some family members, who are also into the whole mysticism thing, are saying I should at least consider it because this is bigger than me and the prophecy has never been wrong before.

I honestly don't care if the kid gets magical powers or not. I'm not renaming myself just so her baby can have full access to the family spirits or whatever. Am I the asshole for refusing to give up my name? No. But before the name change part, I was thinking, oh, just own it. And I would look at her and be like, you found out. I am the chosen one. And I would have walked around like I was just...

one like i am here you have found me really yeah oh yeah yeah and like i don't even know maybe start wearing a crown of sorts but really play into it yeah and who knows okay this is way out of my wheelhouse but maybe they're tapped into something or maybe they're nuts

It's one or the other. There's really no in between. But no, I'm not changing my name. You want me to legally change my name? You know how much of a pain in the ass that is? That's what everyone knows me as. That's what is on all of my documents. Imagine changing that. Yeah. And doing it. People would be like, why are you doing this? Oh, well, hang on. It's because I'm the chosen one. It's because I was meant to do this. But if I'm the chosen one,

Why am I changing my name? So then again, I would play into it some more and I would be like, I am the chosen one. I am more connected than you are. And if I change my name, it'll cast a spell on all of us. And we're all going to start crawling on the ceiling in the middle of the night. So it's funny you, you amp this up because the top comment does play along the lines of this.

not the asshole. Tell her you are indeed the chosen one. And if she tries to steal your power, you will curse her and all of her descendants. Yeah. Yeah. Play the game. I honestly, you might have to, it might be the only thing she buys into because it's like,

You already said my name. There's a prophecy. How am I not the chosen one? I am the chosen one. How dare you cross me? You can't just... Listen, I don't know how these things work, but I imagine if I was writing this story...

I would not – it wouldn't make sense for the character then to change their name and the new baby to gain the name. It doesn't work like that. That's not how this stuff works. I've never seen a story or a book or anything where that's the case. You can't just become the chosen one because you took someone's name. I mean, yeah, it's also a name. Yeah.

I don't know. So many families have the same name passed down throughout it. People bow down to kings for millennia because they're born as children of that king and queen. Not because the sister of the king had a kid and then was like...

That's my name. Then they had to kill some people to get there. So that was, I mean, that was dark. I know. I mean, I'm all for changing your name if you don't vibe with it. Sure. Like if you want to change your name. Yeah. I also love that you point out, oh, it's so hard to change your name and all the paperwork. It is. And women, people that get married and take their partner's name. Yeah, it's a pain in the ass. It's terrible. And it's like you have to change it on things you never even thought.

It's everything. Everything. There's accounts that come up that you're just, you never even knew about. Everything. So there is a comment here I find funny. Someone goes, can I please have someone make the same announcement in my family? I hate my name. I always have, but I would look foolish and immature to change it now just because I hate it. First of all, I'm 42. Second of all, my name is Karen.

Oh, so did you hate it because of the context? Probably. Dang. When did that start? Was that definitely like last 10 years kind of thing? Yeah, I think so. It hasn't been Karen. That hasn't been a thing forever. No, because I have an aunt, Karen. I think Karen. Karen was a really popular name. There are some Karens that are definitely Karens though. Yeah, for sure. Where the shoe fits. For sure. Yeah.

But I don't know. I feel like I put this one in the theme because I'm like, honestly, wouldn't you be kind of paranoid that your cousin was like going to fuck you up for the name? Yeah. I'm like, I'm kind of scared. I'm like, I get she believes like some people would be like, hey, the cousin's going through something.

Others are going to be like, no, she believes in what she believes in. What's the difference believing in this versus believing in a God or a higher power? So I'm not knocking the prophecy stuff. But I would just be paranoid that like she really wants this damn name. People have done crazy stuff because of their beliefs. I know. Or even not beliefs just because they want something. Think of the crazy wars. I'll never forget this true crime story.

This woman was pregnant and her best friend pretended to be pregnant the whole time to do at the same time. And her best friend came in, killed her, took the baby. When? Tried to pretend the baby was hers. Came in where? Not to the hospital. To her house. Wow. She didn't get away with it. I bet not. But just people are fucking crazy. Crazy. I want to read more about that one. I don't know.

I don't know. I think I'm covering it on my new true crime show. I know. But yeah, we don't have any comments from OP that I see. So that's all I got. Damn, this would be an incredible one for an update. I would love an update. I want the story to continue. I would love an update. Hey, maybe if you start embracing the chosen one, maybe your powers will come. I don't know. I'd like to find out. But moving along. Okay.

Okay, this one is coming from Am I the Asshole? 11 days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for withholding pregnancy information from my mother-in-law? I, 25 female, am currently 14 weeks pregnant. When we found out about the pregnancy on New Year's, we shared the news with my mother-in-law.

We called her. She was on speakerphone when my husband broke the news. He told her we are pregnant. Great news for us. His stepdad didn't hear what was said and nagged her to share the news. I could hear him on the call. And she said, quote, she is pregnant again with a lot of disappointment and dissatisfaction. Later, she explained to my husband that she was just worried about him. So now to today and why I'm writing this post.

I'm withholding information about the pregnancy since that phone call. She continuously asks how far along I am, if I will find out the gender, and when my due date is. Very harmless and normal questions.

But from my experience with my son, 21 months, she was asking in the last month of pregnancy every week if I went into labor, then every day in the last week leading up to the due date, and every day past the due date. She kept insisting she needed to be informed ASAP, and it's very important to her.

Then she insisted to be in the labor room. I said no. She insisted to be in the hallway. I said no. Then she pulled the card, but your mom is going to be there. Why can't I be? I won't get in the way. My mom was nowhere near the hospital when I was in labor. Neither did I ever ask or mention her potentially being there. I only wanted my husband by me. My husband told his stepdad that I went into labor after I asked to keep it to just ourselves.

because of his mom's shenanigans. So he broke my trust while I was vulnerable. I was in labor for 32 hours. I could hear her call him every hour, and he would constantly leave the room and leave me alone. He was highly distracted. When he stopped answering her calls, she started spamming his phone with texts. And apparently, she was bugging my mom for any information about the labor.

Currently, I avoid topics of pregnancy. I hide under oversized clothes when I am around her, shoot her down when she brings up any pregnancy-related stuff, act stupid like I never got the due date, and that I am not sure what gender would be. No point guessing that I don't care about the pregnancy and I'm busy with work. I feel like I'm an asshole, but I want to have some privacy and go through labor and have my husband's attention on me.

And I want to have a few days after the labor where I don't answer calls or I'm expected to send photos or allow people to visit. I don't think I'm asking for a lot, but am I the asshole? I'm withholding information from my family too. And my father-in-law, husband's bio dad, even though they never wronged me. They don't pester me to tell them anything and they respect my decisions. Yeah, as do I.

I don't think you're being an asshole at all because with any story that relates to giving birth, being pregnant, whoever it is that is pregnant and giving birth, all decisions are theirs and that's final. Yep. It's their birth plan. It's what they want. I mean, it can be...

traumatic. It can be dangerous, life-threatening. There's a lot of shit going on. It can go smooth, even smooth. You're still giving birth. Well, but you don't know it's going to go smooth until you're done. You know what I mean? So you're always ramping up. You never know what's going to happen. And the last thing you need is to be dealing with all this external stress from your partner's family. No. I mean, really.

Yeah. And here's where I'm like, I think I think right now she is executing this perfectly. I don't think she's being paranoid because the mom acted really goofy the last time. Like the proof is in the pudding. Yeah. But here's the other thing with this one. And I think you need to get a little paranoid about how your husband's going to act.

Your husband went against what you wanted, told stepdad. She went into labor. Stepdad told mom. That's when all the pestering happened. Okay. Mom's calling husband. Mom's getting crazy. Mom's overbearing, crossing boundaries, calling every hour. Which why also? What's the fascination? Insane behavior. But you know who the bigger culprit in this is? The husband.

shut off your phone, don't enable your mom, quit being a mama's boy. You have a wife in labor and you're answering your phone every hour on the hour for 32 hours. Oh, I would have not let him come back in. I would have fucking tossed that phone out the hospital window. I would have gone crazy. And I know I'm not blaming her by any means because she was quite literally giving birth. It's not what she should have to worry about.

But God, the phone ringing off the hook like that. Has she had the baby yet? Has she had the baby yet? And then he leaves every time. Kind of like, you'll know. You'll know, bitch. Get over here and hold my hand. You would know. I don't know why people pester people for things. I ask people to when it's like, hey, can you do that at this time? And I'm like, yes. And if I forget, please remind me. Please bug me until I do it.

But there's also situations where we'll let you know, we'll update you. But now that you've shown you go this nuts and I don't, I don't get it because of the tone. Like I'm still thinking about that initial thing, the reaction to the, to them. And I'm, she's pregnant again. I'm trying to figure out why. Yeah.

And was that all because of her not being able to be involved how she wanted the first time and knowing she'd have to go through that again? Or like, I mean, the mom said like she was just worried about him, like the husband. But in reality, like she could be worried about her son being even busier with another kid and not having any time for her.

Like, this is clearly a mom that oversteps boundaries and is enmeshed with her son. So she wants to be overly involved, like from the moment with this kid. That's the vibe I'm getting. Okay. Because it's just kind of strange. Yeah. I get people being excited, right? Families get really excited. But I also know that once you set that boundary, you know, I just can't imagine being a family member who would...

cross those lines to be just like, how does she not understand she's being too much? Well, I'm looking at OP's account, okay? I wanted to see if there were any other comments. OP has been on Reddit for over two years now. The first couple posts on her account do shed some light. First post in r slash baby bumps, excited about pregnancy, but irritated because of my mom-in-law.

I did not know this existed. This is so fun. Was that referencing the first pregnancy or this one? The first one, two years ago. Yeah, two years ago. This is first baby. I'm a 22-year-old female, currently 16 weeks pregnant. My first trimester was very frustrating due to a lot of negative results while I was pregnant, both home tests and two blood work plus ultrasound. I lost 10 pounds due to the continuous nausea and vomiting. I bring up the subject here because I definitely feel a bit guilty about it.

My family took the news calmly and once in a while bring up my pregnancy and don't make a big deal about it. But on the other hand, my in-laws' family, especially mom-in-law, are overly excited about it.

It'll be her first grandchild, so I understand the excitement, but it's also my mom's first grandchild, and I can't help but get annoyed by it. I'm not sure if it's due to the pregnancy hormones that I get so irritated about their excitement, or it's because of the approach that my mother-in-law takes. For example, she just stated that she will prepare her second bedroom for the child ASAP and told me not to purchase anything because it's too early for that.

Next thing she stated that she would do the baby shower for the baby in March. I didn't ask for it. While I do understand the goodwill behind it, I'm genuinely irritated because of it. Did anyone have any similar experiences or frustrations like that? Am I the asshole for being irritated by happy people? See, but is it goodwill, right? I think we're finding out it's not. I think people can mask real intentions under the guise of things that

are, you know, generally seen as goodwills. Well, and I think that's one thing to be super excited and throw a baby shower. That's normal. But when the mom is saying, oh, the second bedroom in my house, it's going to be a nursery. I'm going to put a crib in there. I'm going to get everything. You, it's too early for you to shop for your house. You don't need anything. And maybe there's a language barrier. Maybe something's getting lost where it's like, wait until your shower, get all your gifts at your shower. Don't buy anything. But most people,

in-laws, most grandparents don't set up full bedrooms for your baby. That's where it's kind of like, my baby's not staying at your house. It doesn't need its own room. Like when you babysit, we can bring a little fold up crib. It doesn't need to be crazy. Right. Because if you're going to the lengths to do that for your own place, why not make sure that they're set up first? Yeah. You know, and like you were saying, it could be

You could even do it earlier. Like you don't have to wait for the shower if you have good intention. But if you're going to go to the lengths to set up that at your own place, I mean, baby's not going to be at your place for a while. At least I would think. Yeah. Don't you keep the baby home for like a good amount of time?

Before they venture out to like grandparents house. Well, typically a lot of people now are doing that. I think it, it obviously depends on the family and like some moms have to go back to work right away. Their parents will pick up the slack and, you know, help. But typically like people are really nesting like maternity leave here and

but like three-ish months for the moms I know. And so they really kept their babies at home because they don't have immune systems and they want to bond and blah, blah, blah, blah. Because we've seen babies in public and you're like, that baby's way too young to be out here. There was, and I teach their own. Like I'm not going to judge a mom. Like maybe that's what she needs to prevent postpartum depression, whatever. But for the immune system? For the immune system, I was very surprised. There was like a literal...

It was fresh. It was fresh. No more than a week or two weeks old. Like there's no way it's the smallest baby I've ever seen in public in my life. And it was headed into a bar at Disneyland. Yes, that's where it was.

You know, who knows? And like, again, like maybe that baby, the mom needed that. So she's mentally better. Like, I don't, I don't know the situation. I was just surprised given how little it was in immune systems. That's, that was fun. I was like, whoa. But I have seen like drama in the hockey community recently. And, um, someone I follow from like her being in Duluth the same time I was there. Uh, her name's Lexi Lafleur. Um,

Well, socials wise, she just wrote her first book. Like, so, so cool. But she is married to a hockey player that played at like my college in Duluth. And

There was this mom being shamed for taking a newer baby to watch her husband play hockey. And all these people were like, how dare you bring a baby to a hockey game? And the thing is, like, if you're a wag, like you're going in a private room, you have a catered meal, gourmet food that chefs prepare, like that might be the best place for her to go. Her whole community is there. And that's kind of what Lexi was talking about.

So you got to do what you got to do. I don't know anything about it. No. And moms, I mean, you got to do what you got to do. Like that is just it's tough. You can only do so much like kids pick up RSV from I don't know. It feels like everyone's getting RSV right now. It's just so scary. But whatever. So then there's drama with another post titled Wedding Slash Pregnancy Drama.

I, female 23, currently 31 weeks pregnant. This weekend I got married to my husband, 25, after two years of being and living together. I know it's a random post from usual pregnancy stuff, but I can't figure out what I'm feeling. My husband is lovely and I love him a lot and of course would love to have his whole attention, but we got married four hours away up the mountains.

His childhood friend couldn't afford to come to the wedding, hotel, food, etc., and I didn't have an issue with helping cover the costs. But due to not having a car either, we had to also let him join us, and my husband kept running to pick him up and drop him off everywhere, even when family suggested they do it for him.

His friend is amazing and I enjoy his company, but I feel so jealous that my husband barely paid any attention to me throughout. We had a short ceremony, photo shoot, and then dinner, drove home the next morning. His friend was even there when my husband helped me take off my wedding dress. We didn't have a wedding night because we were so tired. I feel upset about it and I can't bring myself to tell my husband. His friend is still around the day after."

His friend was there as you were taking off your wedding dress. What's under a wedding dress? Sometimes a corset, sometimes just underwear, lingerie. But not a full cover-up? Not something that you're...

typically is seen beyond an intimate partner yeah and that's also supposed to be a really special moment like well it's not like a bikini at the beach you know what i'm saying you're taking off a freaking wedding dress well and it's like your new husband is taking off your dress like that's that's meant to be like a really special moment for a lot of people like hey john i've just got to take off this dress real quick hang out for a second yeah so i think it

It's just kind of proving like her husband doesn't prioritize her again and again and again. Yeah. And the mom is just one other thing. Like it's not. Well, the mom's taking full advantage of that for sure. Yeah. Especially with how crazy she is about the babies. Yeah. We do have some other comments, though, in regards to this specific post.

Sadly, fighting her back is not an option. We tried that. She victimized herself and makes my life harder. There's a lot of drama way beyond just this part. So someone does go, I'm not sure I understand. Have you told her that you are not giving her any information because she's an annoying pest that gives you stress and anxiety and you refuse to have that during your pregnancy? Time for brutal honesty. If you piss her off enough, she'll leave you alone, not the asshole.

I don't think that's this lady at all. Piss her off. She's going to hound you harder. We all know one of those people. Like, pissing them off only makes it worse. Oh, this home is not fit for the baby. I'm going to take the baby. I already have a perfectly fit room. Then you get into that kind of crazy stuff. Yeah. So someone responds to that and goes, bare minimum, I'd tell her a due date way past my actual due date, LOL.

OP responds, I was thinking of that. My husband disagrees, saying it's an asshole move. Whose side is this motherfucker on? Because it's not hers. I'm still stuck on the wedding dress thing. My mind just goes so many places because of all the stories we've read. I'm like, is he into his friend? But she's pregnant with his baby, so he is into her in some way. But like, maybe he is into the friend. And like, I don't know, like.

Or is just that oblivious to his wife's wants and needs and actually being her partner? Because that's kind of where the pattern, that's the pattern here. I'm perplexed. I'm just curious about their daily life now. I want to get into their, you know, who does the chores, who takes care of the kid, who does this and that. Yeah. It just makes you, you want to just know the whole situation. I know. OP just goes on to say, like, I can't really tell exactly

father-in-law or brother-in-law because they'll tell the mom. There is one last comment I'll read that is almost, it looks like a bit of an update. Oh, wow. I did not expect so many comments and so much support. As the post has a limit of word count, I was not able to add extra information. So I'll update you now. My husband is actually not the asshole.

Huh. Extending? Extending?

He took it upon himself to tell her the due date two weeks after the actual one. It was his idea. And we agreed that he would tell her about the baby after the baby is born, not during labor. Thank you everyone for the support. I'm hoping this birth would be quiet and peaceful for me. I am positive my husband won't make the same mistake. I did forgive him for the last one, just a bit salty still. I just, I'm still not even comfortable with it.

I don't feel like... She's got to get more paranoid. I don't feel like he will... I don't think it'll work out that way, the two-week thing. And I'm wondering if he even actually truly did that. Yeah. Because I don't trust him. I don't trust him now. I don't either. I don't know. I mean, this person is somewhat active on Reddit. Obviously, there was a two-year span between the wedding drama and this post, but maybe we will get an additional update soon.

I'm hoping so. I want nothing but a smooth and easy pregnancy labor delivery. But I really would be making sure like aggressively that you and your husband are on the same page, because I think like even where he was like, oh, you know, he went and gave her a fake date two weeks out. Why not a month? Why not two months?

Hey, send her on a little vacation somewhere. Oh my gosh. Make sure she's out of town during the week before and after your due date. You guys want to go on a cruise? We won this cruise. It came early, but we just want to, you know, we're not able to go right now, obviously, but we would love for you guys to go enjoy this. Guess what? She gone. Smooth, quiet, peaceful.

Just crazy. Crazy, crazy, crazy. I think she should get more paranoid, to be honest. But so far, perfectly executed. Wish her well. Yeah. Okay. That is all I got for this episode. I hope you enjoyed the additional stories to make it a little longer. Gosh, that last one was like a three for one. I know. I didn't realize those were going to be there. Sometimes it's a surprise when I go digging.

But we are headed over to record some Patreon now. So come on over. We're getting into more paranoia issues, wedding drama, some mother-in-law drama. There's one that's like really, really going to be good. It's titled, I caught my husband having sex with his mistress in the car with our baby in the backseat. Nice.

So we're getting into some tea. So come on over. But other than that, until next time. Until next time. Bye, guys.