219: Trip to the Edge.. Ft. Chris Klemens & Michaela Okland
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Okay, family. Are we seated? I'm like filled with vengeance right now. I'm like, I want to kill him. And you'll never know what I'm talking about. Maybe it'll be in the bloopers someday. No, you can put it in. I said all that shit with my chest before publicly on my own. He wants it to be in. I know. I'm like, put it out there. Chris is feeling...

Spicy. Spiceful. Stir the potty. I'm not stirring a pot. I just. You're knowing what the pot is and you're calling the ingredients what it is. No, I'm smoking the pot, but I'm talking about criminal activity. Oh, that's so true. You know, like I'm not stirring a pot. I am literally talking about what should be court documents. There are some influencers out there that should not have platforms. We'll put it that way.

Mikayla and I met some crazy ones on our trip. Stop. It was so... Wait. I've never been more exhausted after a conversation. Can we talk about it on Patreon? They were just like so awful in person. And then like I texted one of my friends about it. And they're like, oh yeah, he got canceled this year. Wait. For also being a pedophile. What? Many such cases.

Oh, I don't know who that is. I'm no angel. I'll tell you that right now. I'm no saint. I know it. I know I have downfalls. I can be flaky. Yeah.

But I care too much. I care too much. But I'm not a pedophile. Definitely not. I'm too generous with my time and my resources. Okay, Michaela's being my little hype girl right now. I can be flaky is the funniest thing. I can also not be perfect. We're talking about criminal activities. I will say like, I don't want to talk mad shit. I don't want to open like a can of worms.

But like some of the influencers out there that are like fan favorites, I'm like, no, they're genuinely like just not. They have dark spirits. No, if people fucking knew. One day when I like delete the accounts. You'll do a tell-all. I'll write a book. You'll do a tell-all. The shit that I motherfucking know. People are just cruel. I've done this shit for too long not to know everything. There's a lot out there.

But this is all coming up as Michaela and I just did our first like friend trip together. We went to London. Oh my God. I have a shirt. I have a souvenir shirt. I love London. I hear you love London. I was hoping Morgan would wear one too and we would match, but that didn't happen and that's okay. I'm here alone. Okay. But we had a good trip together, which is not the case for a lot of people. Travel can bring out the terrorists. The terrorists being me. That sounded bad. Yeah.

Travel can be terrible? There is terror in traveling at 9-11. Traveling does turn me into a bad person, for sure. What's the worst thing you've done on a trip? I mean, nothing, because I'm like a fucking people pleaser. But it's like all internal. Same. It's like on flights and like...

Ugh. Like when the middle seat is open and they're like, boarding is concluded and you're like, fuck yeah. And then all of a sudden a random bitch appears five minutes later and takes the middle seat. And I'm like, I thought the door was closed. Literally? Thought that door was closed. Literally all the time. All the time. Why? Where did they come from? And then they're in the seat next to me and I'm pissed. The most awkward is like you nux the person across. This was me recently. I nuxed him. I go, I just looked an hour ago and it was open. And we nuxed and then literally someone sat there. That happened? No, that was...

two flights ago. I brought it upon myself with the Nux. Yesterday was my first middle seat ever open. Yeah, thanks. Wow. I mean, I'm usually flying first class, so there is a middle seat, but I didn't last night, and I was brave and rewarded. I feel lucky if I get a win, though. No, honestly, though...

It is not as sexy as you like. I'm not saying that as a first class. Yeah, I just literally have horrible anxiety on planes. Same. And I just feel like I have a little bit more space. I can't even go into the I totally get it. No, I could really go off on like an hour and a half rant about airlines and how do you feel about Newark? Newark is the product we don't need. This is so stupid. No one's like tuning in for a current event. That's fine.

Travel today, guys. I've got some amazing guest co-hosts down here on the sofa. We've got Chris Clemons joining. If you didn't recognize that beautiful voice. And Mikayla Oakland. Hi. I know you guys love that. Not. But very excited. Chris has a new podcast. We talked about it on our episode with him just a few weeks ago. Chris versus the people.

Wow, not me clipping that and having a new intro. Can you imagine? Gavel. A gavel with like a bomb. I don't know why this is going there today, but like just like an explosion. Gavel, explosion. Yeah. And little Chris heads fly out of it.

Sure. Why not? I've smoked enough for that to be feasible. I know. I like this. Same. Michaela, amazing as always. Thank you. Thank you. I recently discovered the SheRatesDogs Instagram was banned. So if we have anyone out there that can help get that back for Michaela. Oh, wow. Yeah. I mean, that's been years, but that would be awesome. Yeah. Much appreciated. The dogs were men.

So true. And I did rate them, yeah. No, so true. And God, we need that page back. We need it back. So if anyone's out there. Bring her home. No, let's bring her home. Bring her back. But on that note, let's get into these terrible travel tribulations. Tales. Okay. Trials and tribulations. Yeah, we'll see. What a trip. These trips. Quadruple T. What a trip. Let's dive in. Let's dive in.

Okay, friends, before we get into the stories this week, I just want to let you know that this episode is presented by Duluth Trading from my very own hometown. Hot summer days got you sweating. Do not let your clothes add to the discomfort. Duluth Trading is your go-to for conquering the heat. They've engineered incredible summer tech clothing designed to help you thrive, no matter

No matter how high the mercury climbs. Think gear with moisture wicking, buck naked underwear, dry on the fly that takes you from wet to dry in the blink of an eye. And the innovative Armachillo gear with its built in jade coolness cranks cold where it counts. Find out more and gear up for summer at DuluthTrading.com. This first one, a little vintage. OK, coming from Am I the Asshole?

It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Abandoning My Parents at an Island in the Caribbean So I Could Get Back to Our Cruisin' Time? I graduated from high school back in December. As a gift, my parents got me a cruise. It was also for my 18th birthday. It was also a family vacation. We usually stay at all-inclusive resorts, but I have always wanted to go on a cruise. I told my parents it was different and that if we went on excursions, we had to follow the schedule no matter what.

Well, it was a week-long cruise, and they would not head back to the ship when I said it was time to go. They were busy shopping and bargaining with the locals. I finally said that I was heading back to the ship. My mom waved me off. They missed the departure. By a lot. Like 45 minutes. They got a hold of me through WhatsApp. They wanted to know why I didn't get the boat to wait for them.

I wanted to scream that they were not going to inconvenience 3,998 people because two could not understand what a schedule was. They ended up having to fly to the next port from there and it was expensive. They are pissed at me for leaving them behind. I don't know what I was supposed to do. They literally told me that they knew what they were doing.

I wish I had never asked for this. They're making me miserable because I left without them. I don't know what kind of power they're thinking. Like, you can stop the boat. But also it's like, okay, that person is 18 now, but they're still the adults in the situation. Like, I'm, are we kidding?

Also, you had to buy expensive tickets from the port that you got left at to the next one. Aren't you glad you only had to buy two and your kid got on the ship? Yeah. Because otherwise you would have had to buy three. They're adults. They should know better. I'm sorry. How is it your child's fault that you missed your own port time? Yeah, and who do you even go to tell on a boat? Yeah.

Stop the ship right now. I mean, you can't even stand in front of it like it's a bus. No, you guys, this is really bad too. I feel like when people fall overboard, they can't even stop it that fast. It just keeps going. I just don't know if they would. I do think it's the original poster's fault for wanting to go on a cruise. Hey, I fuck with cruises. I know it's like a floating petri dish and there are... No, I don't even...

Well, yeah, maybe a little of that. It's I just don't need to be like stuck. Like there's no exit strategy. Like I'm not rich enough to have a helicopter come pick me up. Like it's like you're committing to the people you're with. But if you go with like the right group of people, I think a cruise could be something so fantastic. Yeah.

You don't have to repack every time you go to a new location. Like all the food is included. Like you have a whole room full of stuff, but you're going to all these different countries. I don't know. I think it can be.

I get it. You got a pool on the deck? Oh, the pool, the drinks, the all-inclusive food, the dance competitions, the water slides. I want to be a cruise person. I just like am not that kind of person. I never thought I would. I've done like minier cruises that have maybe like 300 or 500 people on it. And like that was doable.

I just seeing the same people every day and like when they get on your fucking nerves, it's just like. See, I want to go on a big cruise where I make new friends every day. See, that's my. You'd be really good at that. I want Carnival to sponsor me. Oh, yeah. Virgin Atlantic. Whoever's got a ship. I will go on it. I will record an episode there. Delta does know. Delta has cruises. That's all you had to say. They've been emailing me about this giveaway I've been trying to enter every day.

I want to go. I want to be on a boat. I never thought I'd be a cruise girl. I thought it was my literal nightmare. And I've been seen really good promo. Put me on the boat. Yeah.

I'm a boat girl. Not a yacht girl. A boat girl. A cruise girl. Okay, period. Yeah, I think a lot of people, though, don't fuck with cruises. And I think, like, they recently just laid off a lot of people or something. There was some kind of article that came out recently about cruises, like, not having as much staff as they used to. And there are already so many things that happen on cruise ships, I feel. Yeah, yeah. But that wouldn't happen to us because that's not, like,

You know, what we put into the universe. I don't think it happens. And we wouldn't get left out of port. Yeah. No, we wouldn't. We would be smarter than that. Yeah. We would shop and make the boat in time. Not the asshole, right? Yeah. Where are we falling? Oh, not the asshole. Not even a little bit. Oh, that person's not the asshole at all. I can't believe this is even a question. No, didn't even do a single thing. His parents blow. Top comment. You're the asshole. What? I'm just kidding. Oh.

Top comment. I was about to be like, so I fucking hate you, Reddit. I was like, what? Like, are we missing? No, I really was like, so wow. I've never missed something that colossally. Top comment. Not the asshole. They seriously think the ship will delay for 45 minutes? Yeah. No. The docks and ship have a schedule to keep. They are adults and need to be responsible for getting back on time, which is something you have figured out in less than six months of being an adult. Absolutely.

At least you don't have to go on any more vacations with them after this. Mm-hmm. This, not the asshole. I've been on a cruise. They make it crystal clear that the ship waits for no one. Parents fucked around and found out. Oop. Oop.

Planes don't wait for people either. Like, I don't know why they thought anybody would wait for them to begin with, even if they're not used to cruises. All just to what? Pick out like some shitty blouse that has seashells on it that she'll wear like once to like her weird racist country club. I mean, we're all thinking right now. I don't know. I wasn't either. Shut up.

Jack Russell Terrier Yorkshire pudding thing that's my dead dog Holly oh well that's amazing I'm so glad I just had a conversation with her I always loved that picture I love the picture I wish I knew the subject I'm just kidding well it is fine you're fine sure this is a sinking ship

Just remember the Jolly Rancher story. Bitch, I'm trying not to. Okay. This next one, it's having quite the moment on Am I the Asshole? It's like one of the top trending stories for the past couple weeks. Have not read it at all. I'm going in blind with you guys. So here we go. Let me just wipe my tears here.

It's not like actually her. It looks like her, but it's a random off Etsy. Oh, you fucking... But she did die. I believe that. Oh my God. I need to go home to Delaware. I'm going to fly home. No.

Just kidding. This next one coming from Am I the Asshole? 16 hours old. It is titled, Am I the Asshole for booking my own Airbnb so I don't have to sleep on a couch for six nights? Oh my God. I mean, like, already no. I'm like, if anything, like, more power to you. Do you have a GoFundMe I can donate to? I support. My immediate and extended family have booked a vacation for later in the summer. My aunt, who found the place, knew the owner,

and they got a great deal. My aunt initially said there are six bedrooms, one room for her and her husband, one room for my parents, one room for my cousin and her husband, one room for my other cousin and his wife, and one room for their kids, who are both under 10. The last bedroom, you may wonder, is where my aunt made an innocent mistake in miscounting. There are only five bedrooms.

They told me that my boyfriend and I will have to sleep on a pull-out couch. I told my parents I would rather not sleep on a couch even if it does pull out. I also don't want to make my boyfriend sleep on the couch with me either for his own privacy. It's in the living room, which is in the middle of everything. I would rather not be woken up to people starting their day, and I would rather not have to change in the bathroom each and every time or even leave all of my stuff in the living room as well.

I don't want to change in my parents' room either because I know I would probably rush so that they can have their own privacy. I don't want to put my luggage in anyone else's room and fill their room with my clutter. Same goes for my boyfriend. I don't want to make him do all of that either. My family has never had this big of a vacation altogether in such a long time. I would love to be involved and whatnot, but I said I would rather not go if I can't have a room to myself or...

or I'll book my own place nearby and I will pay for my part for the main house everyone else is in regardless. My mom refused both options as I will ruin the trip if I don't stay under the same roof. If I get my own place to stay, it will solely be to sleep. I plan to be with my family at all other times and events. I don't care about the price of only getting an Airbnb just to sleep.

I want my privacy. Yeah. Haven't mentioned it to my cousins or anyone else yet that I'm considering getting my own place as close as possible, though. Am I the asshole? Easy no again. Like, what? Yeah, I'm like, this is the easiest test I've ever taken. Like, I'm like...

Yeah. It seems reasonable. I'm sorry. Maybe I'm the asshole here and have been thinking it since I was fed the information. Why are the fucking 10 year olds not sleeping on a couch? You don't even need to pull out the couch for them. They're 10. That was my question. They could sleep on the fucking hardwood and be okay. Hmm.

Why are you not getting a little blow-up bed to put in their parents' room? Yeah. Why are they coming? They're not going to remember it. Why will they be there? Chris is on that. Fuck them kids. I just don't get that. My first thought was they're both under 10. They're still like... They're little. Their bodies haven't gone into decline yet. Yeah. They are...

to sleep on the couch and again the floor outside on the beach kids fall asleep everywhere exactly have you seen like I feel like I've seen some crazy videos of like this kid falling asleep upright and she's like I want a popsicle oh yeah or like when you're little and you're sleeping over at your friend's house you will find anywhere to sleep oh my god I slept on a sleeping bag on the floor you'll find anything to keep you warm yeah you make it work yeah you like have vigor for life yeah and I

get like okay that aunt got the Airbnb and got a good deal so it's like oh well my grandbabies should have a room but it's like they're 10 they might find it fun to sleep in the living room and like yeah make a fort. Just tell them it's fun they'll think it is. Exactly. Just tell them this is such a fun exciting place for them to sleep. We wanted to save this just for you two. Yeah this is the biggest room in the house. Because you'll be able to build a fort. And it was the aunt's mistake. Exactly. To put

Two adult, like a couple. Yeah, if the aunt made the mistake, take her kids and put them down out back. I mean, I'm sure there's a spot for a blow-up mattress somewhere for these two. That's more private. They don't need a blow-up. They have a couch. I'm fine with a couch. I sleep on a couch. I just slept on a couch two nights ago. There you go. Yeah.

I mean, it was a very wide couch and it was very luxurious, but... A couch nonetheless. It was a couch nonetheless. Yeah. And I slept like a literal 10-year-old baby. I feel like you should always prioritize the adult sleeping. 100%. I just, I don't know why I'm like two 10-year-olds. You've earned that bed. You've earned that bed. They're more flexible. Have you guys ever had like weird Airbnb trips with friends where like you get the short stick and you're in a room that doesn't have blackout curtains? That's like quite specific. I'm just gonna say...

I was like, maybe. I was so ready to say yes when you started that question, but then you made it about blackout curtains specifically. I know. And then I was like, I don't need blackout curtains for the record. Like, I sleep with my curtains open. I do like blackout curtains, but then I won't, like, wake up. Yeah, it's like when I go to Vegas, I wake up at, like, 2 p.m., and then my day's over. You're both telling me you don't have... It just means when we travel together, you can get through them with the blackout curtains. But how...

I don't need blackout curtains. The sun comes up at like 5 a.m., 6 a.m. Right. And I ignore. And like I wake up naturally instead of having an alarm beep at me. Oh, I can't have an alarm wake me up. No, I would rather like take...

I think it's so like the Industrial Revolution did a lot of bad shit. But alarms is one of the worst. Yeah. Clocks and alarms is one of the worst. You have to find a better alarm sound. No, no. I just like don't need to wake up to an alarm. Yeah. If I know that I've woken up the sun. And if I know that I need to wake up at 8 a.m., like my body will wake up at 758. Oh, no. I mean, if I know I have to be up, if I know I have to be up, I'll set an alarm like that's.

That's the last resort. You two are crazy. Working from home, I just kind of wake up. And also my dogs wake up too. You do have a built-in alarm clock with them. I'm sort of usually up and out of bed at like 7.30. Pretty routinely. That's crazy. I need to be woken up by an alarm. I've become such a morning person. I mean, I'm still a dreadful person in the morning. See, I'm not at all.

Just wake up early, I guess. That's insane to me. It's kind of nice though because a lot of people are still asleep and no one can bother you. It's why I like working at night. That's why I work at night. Yeah, everybody's asleep and you can just like lock in. But then how do you get up at night? I don't know. I'm blown away by this. Thank you. If the sun wakes me up, I'm pissed. I love to be woken up by a peaceful alarm clock. What? A peaceful alarm clock is an oxymoron. Yeah, like how can that be? No, my phone has the sleep feature.

thing and it slowly gets louder so it's like this little twinkle it's like it could be any like lovely sound in the world but if i'm associating it with this wakes me up it will become the worst sound in the world exactly i'm terrible if a person wakes me up i get mean oh i punched my mom in the face before i wasn't awake to know i did like she was bought she was bothering me she was waking me up

I was like living at home still. My mom's being a bitch. No, she wasn't. She was like, Chris, wake up. And I guess I punched her. And I came down and I was like, hey, what's up? I mean, not that happy. I was like, good morning. My mom was like off. And I was like, what's going on? She's like, what do you mean? And I'm like, what do you mean? And she's like, you punched me in the face. And I was like.

Well, that wasn't me. That is so unlike you. Yeah, right? I would usually punch my, like, brother in the face. This is why you need to use alarm clocks, people. It's safer. Moving past this, I feel like I need to put a poll, though, to the people to be like, do you guys sleep with blackout curtains? And would you rather have an alarm clock? I don't know. I'm frazzled. What time do you wake up with blackout curtains?

I set my alarm for 9 a.m. So then why have blackout curtains? Yeah, you're going to wake up that time anyway. Because then you're awake and your room is dark, so you're like, I'm actually still asleep. It's very confusing to your body. The sun comes up so early and goes right in my window. Two hot takes, more like one hot take. Anyways, what are the top comments saying? I love it.

Ooh. Ooh.

It seems your aunt's whole family gets the main rooms. Maybe suggest to your mom that she might like to Airbnb with you and your boyfriend, where if they need quiet time, they have a place to do so. Mom is probably saying the trip would be ruined because she would be the only one from her part of the family if you do not stay there.

Yeah, get her in your Airbnb. I think that's actually a great idea. Yeah, threaten it and then you, your side of the family doesn't pay for that house and then all of a sudden the aunt's like, no, no, no, wait. I want to split it. The kids cannot come. Yeah.

OP does respond to this. My aunt, who has planned slash found this house, and the young children are her direct bloodline. So I guess they have the upper hand over me. My mom is sisters with my aunt who booked it. But the young children are my aunt's sons. So I guess that trumps my 24-year-old ass. LOL.

Per person pays. I will be paying the same as the adults. I don't mind still paying to keep the peace, even if I get my own place to sleep somewhere else. My mom's always been like that. Wonderful woman, but perfectionist, I guess. She always says how the family has to stick together and bullshit.

I don't know. I'm close with her, but it's annoying to hear LOL. I feel like because she planned the trip, she should be more likely to let someone else have the room. Yeah, be more hospitable. Yeah. I feel like it should be the opposite. She's not a great host. Well, everyone's paying the same, so it's like, why is anyone else more entitled? Especially if she's being too nice. 24-year-old adult couple. I would say, fine, I'll take the couch, but I am paying 25 cents. Yeah. Yeah.

I would get a little snarky, probably. I'd have a hard time with this. I'd be like, I actually bought an eight-bedroom house next door, so you guys have fun. Absolutely goofy. I just don't understand. That's like hosting a dinner party and not having enough chairs and then telling someone that they have to sit on the floor. It's like, no, if you're hosting that, you sit on the floor. And they have to pay. And they have to pay. The table price. They have to pay.

They have to pay for a plated seat. No update from OP. No update. Couple comments, but I cannot gather an inkling on what they are going to do. So OP, if you're out there, we would like an update. I mean, I'm assuming because of how big of a people pleaser they are, they are just going to sleep on the couch. Wow.

I just don't see it. I mean, yeah, them offering to, like, still pay the same thing, like, that just shouldn't be happening. But at that point, like, if you're already going to be paying for the house, just, like...

Make everyone regret making you have to sleep in the public room. Like I would leave my dirty underwear everywhere. I would maybe like rub some fresh shit on the floor just for effect. It doesn't have to be shit. It can be like pudding. You got to like scare the people into thinking like, wow, we really don't need them in a public space. Oh my God. You know, get them in the bedroom. Yes. Have gay sex on the couch. It could work. Just at seven in the morning.

You won't be sleeping on that couch anymore. Or maybe under that roof. So a win is a win. I mean, we had a stepmom and a cousin. Girl, I don't know why we have to keep bringing up that episode. That is behind us. Still fresh for me. Oh, it's... No, I feel like... Go get your own place. Yeah. Go get your own place. You're an adult. You're 24. Especially if you're willing to cover it. Don't let your mom guilt trip you. You got it. Yeah, 100%. Get your own spot. You're an adult. The aunt sucks, though.

Aunt's a fuck person. You think? Do you think it was malicious? No. It's just like thoughtless. I just think she's a bad host. But also like getting mad for them like not wanting to stay there is weird too. The mom? I think that, I mean that being the mom, but I wonder if this was the aunt being passive aggressive where it's like we don't want them to have sex.

Like, we're going to put them on the couch. Just because the aunt's not having sex anymore doesn't mean she has to ruin it for everyone else. Damn. Just because your husband doesn't want to have sex with you, that's not everyone else's problem. I could see this being a bit malicious. That's crazy. I could see it. Moving along. Oh.

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Michaela? Yes. You have some stories I hear. Am I up? Am I up to the plate? You might be. Guys, I'm so nervous. I've collected some stories today. And will they be okay? I don't know. Oh my god, wait, what? Was I supposed to collect stories? Yeah, you're up next. Yeah, you're the next one. But I'll go first. No, I'm just kidding. No, you're the cutest. Oh my god, I felt like I was in high school all over again. Jesus fucking Christ. That was so scary. I was like,

Oh, I totally didn't do that. I was probably told about that. Okay. Anyways, let's hear these. You guys, this is from r slash relationship advice. It's also a little vintage. It's a year old. And the title is my 33 female BFF 32 female ditched me on a vacation. We spent years planning after her boyfriend 30 male proposed on the first night of our vacation. Damn.

My BFF, let's call her Anne. She has a boyfriend, let's call Mark. Originally, we were supposed to take this trip in early 2020, but that kind of didn't happen due to COVID. We luckily managed to get a refund on the majority of things. This trip served two main purposes. Firstly, for a vacation we have both wanted to do since we were young. And secondly, she was going to see a big chunk of her mom's side of the family she has not seen in over a decade. It was kind of split 50-50 since this was supposed to be almost a two-month trip I personally have been saving for years now.

One thing to note is that Anne is fluent in the primary language of where we are vacationing, while I am not. I can talk to some city people enough to get by, but once I leave and the slang and dialect start popping in, I'm lost. It was just supposed to be me and Anne. However, a last-minute addition was made with her including her current boyfriend of three years. This was more or less dropped on me pretty much two weeks before we left.

I was really unhappy with this because, well, it messed up a lot of plans. But I begrudgingly accepted him after we reworked some stuff. However, I told Anne multiple times and her boyfriend that this trip is about us, not Anne and her boyfriend.

The first night we were there, Mark dropped to one knee, pulled out the ring, and asked her to marry him. Since then, I feel like a third wheel who is no longer welcome on this trip. This has changed everything. The trip is now basically about Anne and her new fiancé. Multiple times, we had a lot of plans, including some stuff that was already paid for. And instead, she ended up ditching me to go spend time with Mark.

Tomorrow we're supposed to catch a train and travel for the next leg of our trip and she wants me to go alone. Instead, she confronted me and said that she needs at least a week to figure out feelings and organize her thoughts. So instead they booked without telling me some fancy couples thing. Instead, she wants me to go on a trip alone as a woman in a country I can barely speak the language of. Even worse, I'm basically going to have to show up to some extended part of her family alone and ask to stay there. She said it's fine, but it's really not comfortable at all.

I tried to talk to her and she got really upset and told me this vacation isn't just about me. And that hurt a lot. Well, yes, it isn't about you at all. Oh.

Now pretty much I'm going to be spending Christmas alone in a country where I don't speak the language. I got pretty emotional and asked her, WTF am I expected to do? She got really defensive and said it's just a week and we're here until early February. She'll meet up with me on New Year's, New Year's Eve or the day after. My question is, how can I talk to her and make her understand that she can't just ditch me without coming off like a major asshole? I think you just say you're coming off as a major asshole.

Honestly, this is insane. This is crazy. Two month trip and on the first day? Just not even that, but like a two month trip and some days before you find out that you have a third? Two weeks. Yeah. Which is too late to cancel anything and get your money back at that point. I'd feel so bad. That's not your friend, honey. No. This is honestly, this would be friendship.

ending for me likely because it's like okay you added your boyfriend not what i agreed to this was a two month long friendship trip why did you add him he can't be alone without you he doesn't trust you is this a control thing weird okay let's evaluate that later or if he wants to propose tell him to book his own fucking trip yeah yeah don't capitalize off ours now it's an engagement like ceremony they're going like a stage yeah this is weird and it's just like

That's fine. He came. He proposed the first night, which, God, you couldn't have waited until the last night. Right. But, okay, here we are. You still should stick to the plan because otherwise you're leaving me high and dry. Yeah. And I've spent so much money. I've saved for years to be able to do this. And you're completely disregarding me, disrespecting me as a person, as a friend. Right.

And having to go stay with that friend's family being like, hey, how y'all doing? Not even hey, how y'all doing? The girl whose family it was hadn't seen them in 10 years. She was about to be like, hey, how y'all doing? What the fuck do you mean a friend is about to meet them when homegirl hasn't seen them in a decade? That's crazy behavior. I always feel so awkward. That someone doesn't see that.

Is like you dodged a bullet, I fear. Well, you got hit by it, but like you dodged the second one. I would say so. Yeah, the first comment is friendship is dead, my friend. I would accept that you need to rework the trip for yourself and take as a solo trip.

She doesn't care for you or your safety and comfort. It sucks, but how much are you supposed to take? Spend the extra money to be safe, and hopefully she doesn't owe you any money. If you owe her money, I would keep track of your extra expenses and then let her know you're taking it from the money you owe her. Please update me, and I hope your trip turns out wonderful. Pay the extra money and go home.

I would still... Like, no offense. I would talk to, like... I'd be heartbroken. I would be... Oh, my God. I mean, like, I would be so devastated. It's already hard enough when you're in, like, a random place you've never been. Yeah. And then to, like...

Go through that? And she wouldn't have, like, even chosen that area to begin with. It was for the friend. So now it's like, I was only going there for you anyway. I try to pivot as much as you can. Yeah. I think I'd just go home at that point if it was Christmas. I would be like, I think I'd just take the L on this. Some of the best places to travel to, though, like,

They have like Christmas markets. There's Christmas things. I know, but like to be alone on Christmas while going through the loss of a friendship. I know. It'd be heartbreaking. Like that would be so sad. Here's where I get goofy. Like I would almost do it out of spite. I would have the most amazing trip and it's like don't do it out of spite because that's not healthy. But like do it for yourself because it will. I know, I'm like what? Like what?

It will be so magical. Spite has fueled me many years of my life. But this is crazy. Also, what? They just got engaged and she needs a week to think about things? Yeah, wait. That was like, why'd you say yes to getting engaged? Are you thinking about your relationship or thinking about things with your friend? I think with a friend. Yeah, I think it was with a friend. What did your friend do? I think I caused her stress on her engagement. I don't fucking know.

I don't think this friend seems emotionally sound, but that's just me. Her saying like, this isn't all about you. That's like, that's so insane. Like instant bridezilla. But it's also like, you're right. It isn't about me. None of this has been about me when it was supposed to be about us.

That's crazy. And I feel like I would honestly tell the girl I'd be like, let's meet here. Don't worry. No hard feelings. Let's have fun. And then I would send her to some random smandom fucking place and be like, can't wait to see you there. I booked us a hot hotel. I would make a TikTok about it. Hope that the GoFundMe does amazing and then get another friend to come with me or something. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I like that. Don't you think if you saw like a TikTok of someone going through this, you'd be like, I'm sending them 20 bucks. Yeah. Oh my God. I absolutely would. And then I'd want them to book her wedding venue on her ideal date. Period. Yes. You say you want to play girl? Go fund me. Let's go. Signed Daddy Warbucks. Putting the war in Warbucks.

I like that. Thank you. Mikayla, as someone that did a little solo traveling yourself, Mikayla went to Portugal by herself. Yeah, I went to Portugal for a week by myself. And I did enjoy it, but I was like...

I could see why this would get lonely. Two months is a lot. Yeah, longer than this. I think I would get like friends sick. Like I'd miss having my friends to hang out with. Yeah. But it is fun for like a time. It's doable. It depends on where you're going to. Yeah. But also like I went to the place that I wanted to go as a solo traveler. Like I planned it based on the fact that I'd be alone and like looked up what other people liked doing alone. So cool. I give you so much credit for that. That's amazing. Yeah.

I it's like a little stressful, like traveling around by yourself. No, it's like crazy because there was like a train strike the week that I was there that I didn't know about until I got there. So like there were a couple of times that the train I was supposed to go on just didn't show up, but everything works out. Yeah.

It's fine. Everything works out. But I'm here. She made it to London and then we made it back to stateside. So it's all good. What? Did we get an update on this? Checking. I'm looking into this. Please tell me we got an update. I will riot. I just remembered. I will shut all these cameras off. The show will be done if we don't have an update. I don't think we do. Right. What? So the name of their Reddit account is like throwaway. Yeah.

And they're not like responding to any of the comments on the thing. She just won an event. They have. This is the worst news I've had all day. Yeah. That's their only post ever. Throw a R-A dash travel.

they just made its event what an i'm so sorry what a just horrific ending okay let's write our own ending um well let's see the girl who got engaged had nodule gonorrhea and the guy had to pull it out and bite it because it's stanky and he put it out and bite it with no context is crazy no the girls that know now if you don't you've got some homework to do and you've got some

THT episodes to catch up on. At patreon.com slash two hot takes. Patreon.com slash two hot takes. Thank you so much for including us in your dinner Patreon when Michaela and I were in London. Oh yeah. Olivia, I see you a...

Yeah, they invited us to a dinner in London. Patreon. Oh. Yeah, my family. Oh, my God. I don't know what just happened. I was like, wait, what? They took care of us. Oh, I thought you meant like your patrons gave you dinner. They dined us. I love when Patreon wines and dines. They had really good bread. They had really good bread. Good bread and butter. Good vibes. Wow. Good cups. They gave me a little cup, a tea mug. Love. It was good. A little mug for tea. Exactly. Yeah.

Moving along. Let's talk about another proposal real quick, okay? Uh-oh. This is also coming from a relationship advice. No, I'm sure it'll be great. I'm sure nothing bad is going to happen. It's going to be awesome. No, it's on Reddit. Only amazing things are said on Reddit. Hey, you had that palate cleanser on your last episode. You know it can be good and wholesome, too. That's not the spark behind your eyes right now. Yeah, but you usually sort of lead with that, and I didn't see that.

I didn't see you leading with love. It's 10 hours old. Oh, I love a same day delivery. It is titled, My 32 Male Girlfriend, 29 Female, Upset About Proposal. Oh,

Recently got engaged, and my girlfriend didn't find it special enough. We went over to Monterey, the first place that we did a road trip together, and went on a hike. It was loaded with people because of Memorial Day weekend, and my girlfriend actually gets a little nervous around people. I originally wanted to go up to Big Sur and go on a trail that overlooks everything, but when I mentioned Big Sur, my girlfriend said that might be a bit far, since we'd like to squeeze in the aquarium.

Instead of choosing another trail, I had her choose one with a walking distance that she was comfortable with. And we basically went on a random trail until I found a spot to pop the question. I gave a little speech and got on one knee and asked her. And she was extremely happy in the moment and said yes.

We walked back, and the rest of the trip went normally. When we got back home the next day, she asked, what did you plan? Just to see the details as she was curious and still happy. But to be honest, I didn't really have an answer. I booked a restaurant and wanted to take her to Big Sur. But what actually happened was we just went to Monterey and chose a random trail. No flowers, no poster, nothing but the ring.

To her, it didn't feel special. She had booked the Airbnb and randomly chose a trail, and it basically felt like every other trip we go on. To me, my only requirement was basically that we go to Monterey, the first place we traveled to, and propose at a hike, which was what we did on our first date together.

She spent the whole next day crying and said it was her one and only time to be proposed to, and it just wasn't special. It's not like she wanted people there or anything, but just wished that I had planned more.

In hindsight, I should have chosen the Airbnb and have been more adamant on going where I wanted to go, but I wanted to prioritize her comfort. Towards the end of the night, she said that she's not sad anymore and it's okay, but I feel terrible. I'm not sure what to do at this point. It just feels like we're not going to be okay and it's going to loom over her.

Has anyone ever redone a proposal or something? I'm just looking for some advice and to see if this has happened to anyone else before. Please help. I don't know. I'm like torn on this one. I am too. I'm kind of torn because like it sucks that she's having this reaction and like maybe he did the best he could, but also I could see being like, oh, you didn't like plan anything. Like no part of this was like,

I don't know. Like, as far as you got is just that we, like, went there? I mean, here's the thing. I think if she wanted it to be major, that's something you have no problem telling your significant other, I feel. Of, like, I want a really special engagement. Like, I want the... Like, I feel like friends have dropped shit like that that I know. Like, I feel like then you say that, but also, like,

He did try and plan, big sir. And she was like, no. But you have to push a little bit, I feel, in that situation. If you're the only one who knows that that's why you want to do something a little more special. Yes. She can be like, oh, I don't want to leave the hotel. I'm tired. And then you have to be like, no, we really should go. It's beautiful, you know? I guess. But the fact that there was meaning in Monterey.

And the trail like that to me is thought out. But like just because he used an existing trip, I don't think is a negative. No. Because like it kind of makes it fly under the radar in terms of like surprise. And it genuinely is a surprise. Me, I knew it was coming. I wish I didn't. I genuinely wish I was like thrown. But like I'm an inquisitive little bitch. Like I knew it was coming. I'm paranoid and I get reads on vibes quick.

I love that it was a surprise. I do think that he could have pushed him and like, no, I really want to go to Big Sur. Like, it's supposed to be really cool this time of year. Totally. Let's go to Big Sur. I do think he could have pushed more, but I've seen it where the boyfriend at the time did push and the girl was pouty and she was like, I don't want to go.

And she wore sweatpants and a t-shirt and that's what she got proposed in. And then she's sitting there after the proposal and like she made the TikTok video about it.

And she goes, when you get crabby and pout on your trip, and then this is your proposal outfit. And so it was like her boyfriend kept being like, you should dress up. You should wear those heels. You should wear that dress. And she was like, no, we're going to the beach. Like, I'm wearing my sweats or whatever it was. And it's like she got in her own way. She blocked her own blessing.

And that's what this girl did too. Yeah, I feel that I'm very underqualified to give an opinion on this because I can't even emotionally comprehend the headspace of getting engaged to somebody. No, totally. And like what comes with that. But also like, shouldn't it be about their love? Yeah. But was it? Like if you're in love with someone, they should be able to propose at home and you should be fucking stoked. Like-

Well, but I just feel like I just I mean, like, to me, I'm like, if it's not about it's not about how obviously it's great when you're like somewhere sexy and you're looking sexy and you're, you know, like, that's obviously ideal. But isn't it at the end of the day that like,

Someone wants to get married to you and you want to get married to them? Of course. But isn't it also nice? Yeah, you terrible people. Isn't it also nice though when you like make that life-changing decision to be like, wow, and like he did it in such a special way and he knows me so well and like it was such a magical moment and he really thought through like how it would feel for me and like, you know, X, Y, Z. Like there's also, I can understand, it's not just like totally materialistic to wish for like there'd be flowers or like written on the sand something or like something more like,

of a romantic... Totally, but it's not like it was lacking romance. Like, there was sentiment behind it, and, like... But if you always go on hikes with someone, and then they just, like, propose to you on a trail one day, is it, like, really that special? Sorry, never mind. I don't know. Like, if that's their thing, but if that's their thing... I know. It's a hard one. Yeah. It's definitely a hard one, and, like, I'd be curious to know what conversations they had about proposals before. Same. That's... I was just thinking that. Like, this is the ring I would like, and, you know, I really envision...

Getting engaged on like a really fun trip we take like in Paris or whatever. Or like, oh, this friend's engagement looked like so lovely and special. That's what I mean is like... What was the conversation before? If there was none of that, then it's like...

I don't know. You don't get what you don't ask for. I know. And that's what I'm like. I'm like, did she block her own blessing? Did this guy just kind of go AWOL and like went off script? Like, I am curious about more detail. The guy gives people pleaser just trying to make his girlfriend happy. I know. Well, he's talking at the end here. I'm not sure what to do. Like...

Has anyone ever done a re-proposal and redone it? He's not an asshole at all. And I think he's a nice guy and doing the best that he could. And it sucks that this happened this way. To cry all day. Yeah. Ma'am, you got engaged. Be happy. I think there's so many people that don't get the ideal proposal. Because it's not... But everybody has such a different idea of what an ideal proposal is. Exactly. And they're so...

One, I think a lot of us like we get in our own heads. We're kind of like overthinking it. We've made the proposal like more for Instagram and less about you as a couple. Like there's a lot going on there. And I myself can be guilty of that. Like I told Justin I wanted a photographer hiding in the bushes because I wanted to commemorate it. Like.

Am I feeding into that? Maybe a little. But you still said what you wanted. I said what I wanted. You like gave clues. Granted, some of them might have been just very direct. Right. But like you still like, I feel like you better have a photographer. When I turned 30, I was like, I want to do this. And I want to like, I just think like if she, if he had never heard anything about what she wanted, she can't really be mad then because she's

She never made it a big deal. It was never a big deal for her. For sure. So why is it now? Do you think she might already just be a little unsure about him? And like, that's what's at play here. Oh,

Because we're going to get into the comments. We're going to see that there's always like comments. Yeah. But I do want to say, like, I think proposals are one of those things that are really interesting for me because it's like this proposal is about the person that's getting proposed to. Right. So it should be what they want. But at the same time, it's also what the other person wants and how they want to show the love and the care for that person.

So I hate to be like, well, the proposal is only about her. She should have gotten what she wanted. It's about them and their love. And this was thoughtful. I wanted to be in Monterey where we first went on a date, where we first blah, blah, blah. Doing what we did on our first date. Like that feels thought out to me. Like, yeah, did he not pick the Airbnb? Sure. I know people are probably screaming. Like if you've been here since the beginning, there's a story that Justin and I had. And it was like this couple got engaged and it was like,

like in their apartment and set up candles everywhere. And that was their proposal. And I was like, an apartment with candles? Being on the other side of this now, I'm like more in like the hopeless romantic boat where it's like, do what you want to each their own. If a hundred candles in your apartment is what you want, do it.

Unfortunately, this isn't what she wants and I'm scared to get into the comments, but here we go. Yeah, I'm really interested to see what the comments say. So top comment. Oh boy. We can all speculate about the kind of person that would be upset for the kind of proposal she got.

Frankly, I agree with many comments that said that the real issue at hand is your lack of planning. The thing is, to be known and to be understood, truly understood, is the highest form of love. No, it's not being clairvoyant, but it is to understand and know a person. And understanding and knowing a person surrounding a significant milestone is a pretty big deal.

Your girlfriend isn't upset about the proposal. She's upset that you didn't know her well enough to know what she wanted, even if she can't articulate that. That's what she's expressing. That you didn't know her well enough to do something that she would actually like, or perhaps that you did know and just chose not to. The lack of knowing is leaving her feeling emotionally abandoned, and that is ungrounding and destabilizing.

When you think you know someone and have a good relationship only to have a significant milestone like a proposal come up and be slapped in the face with the reality that your partner either doesn't know you well at all or doesn't care enough to show you in the way you would like. That doesn't feel good at all. This is like intense. It takes that. I'm like, just a reminder, you don't know them. Like, what?

What? It takes what should be a very happy and monumentous occasion and causes you to reconsider everything, which I guess is what she's doing now. I highly recommend a relationship counselor. At the very least, take some time to reflect together about your mutual goals and desire. The fact that you care enough to make a post like this suggests that you're a pretty good person who cares about the relationship and your partner. I strongly recommend a couples counselor.

But this is where I'm struggling is because, yeah, he clearly fucking cares about doing right by her. And he seems, like, as shocked about this outcome as anybody. So it's like, was this just something they never talked about? I'm so... Because... I mean... Curious. I kind of, like, agree with the comment. Like, I think it's dramatic. I think the comment, like, words it very dramatically. Like, it doesn't need to be all that. But, like, it's...

if you've ever had, I don't know, like a family member, like get something for you, but it's something you're allergic to. It's like this feeling of like, oh yeah, technically you were doing something that you thought would be nice for me, but you don't know me. And like, you've forgotten things that I've told you. And I know we're doing like assuming by saying that, but it's like to feel not known in that person's thinking that they're just doing something so great for you is like, or like I've told you so many times, I hate that that flavor of

crackers and you got me that flavor of crackers. It's like, you think you're doing a nice thing, but it's actually like more hurtful than doing nothing. No, and I totally agree with like the feeling scene is to feel understood, but like, I know I'm tough because we don't know the couple. That's true.

We don't know what conversations they've had. I feel like there's a lot missing. I wish they explained what they, like the amount, to the extent they've talked about a proposal. Yeah, because he could have clarified. He could have been like, I had no idea that she wanted a special proposal. X, Y, and Z. Yeah, I guess I'm going under the basis that he seems like a thoughtful enough person to care. Yeah. So I feel like he would have picked up on things that she would have wanted had they had the conversation. I know. Well, this next comment

makes some interesting points that like kind of have my wheels turning to your original plan sounds nice in theory, but it seems poorly planned. You chose Big Sur on a very busy weekend, knowing your girlfriend gets nervous around people. You mentioned we wanted to squeeze in the aquarium. Why did you encourage plans to go to the aquarium when you knew you wanted to propose at a farther trail and had restaurant plans? So like, it does seem like it was kind of like this panic where it's like, I have to do today. And it's like,

like you could have maybe reached out to the aquarium and said I want to propose is there like a little private area or close to closing can we be the last ones left in front of the fish tank I also thought about the nervous in crowds comment and like that being his choice and it's like you know she gets nervous in crowds and like that she doesn't feel super comfortable in that environment already like someone saying I don't want a public proposal and then them getting proposed to in Times Square yeah

It's like there's clearly a disconnect in some way. But again, that doesn't make him an asshole. And that's why I think it's a hard story. Well, it's relationship advice. So not like just asking. Oh, yeah. Like real. So what advice would you guys give them? I honestly would. Redo it. I would redo it. Yeah, like just redo it. I think it's totally fine to redo it. I think he cares enough. Like surprise her with a redo and then just be like, that wasn't the real one this is. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And just like let her feel like, no, I do know you. I do know like what you would really enjoy. I can give you that perfect proposal. Like obviously she wants to marry him. She said yes. Like she had a moment about it, but like got back on board. I think they can just redo it and be cute and it'd be funny. Yeah. Like in hindsight. And we can all be our own worst enemy sometime. Like when it comes to like a super emotional event.

like a proposal like I cry on all my birthdays yeah I cry on like every birthday it's insane I think maybe she's like kind of having this come down to and it's like this is my only proposal like I only get this once and it's like it's not exactly what I would have wanted like I don't feel really listened to so just redo it yeah redo it there's only one comment from OP we have no update the only comment is in response to this

When you say you found a spot to propose at, do you mean you found a gorgeous view overlooking nature and you were standing there reminiscing about your relationship and then you got down on one knee? Or do you mean you found a level spot in clearing and suddenly got down on one knee in the middle of that? And OP says, top of the hill, looking down at the Monterey Bay, gave a little speech and got on my knee.

Well, what was the speech? Yeah, give us the whole speech and then we can figure out if it's nice enough. I would just love to get an update from this that's like, we redid it. We're so happy. We're in love. It was an emotional day, but we're better for it. I don't know. That seems like a really nice proposal. I'm trying to find what Monterey could potentially look like. Sure, but they go on hikes all the time. They're always seeing that. But if that's their thing... But clearly it's not for her. Gag.

But then you're saying they go on hikes all the time. So why is she going on all these damn hikes? But it's not like special. It's like, I don't know. What do you do every day? You need to update a little bit. Like the aquarium thing. If you have plans to go to the aquarium. Maybe I'm the problem. Reach out to the aquarium. People love. Is this a newer one? Yeah. Six hours old. Ten hours. Yeah. Six hours old is his last comment. Yeah. It's 11 hours old now at the time I'm reading it. But I think like.

People love being helpful when it comes to helping with love. Yeah. Like, Justin reached out to the hotel where we got engaged and was like, hey, I want to propose. Like, what about this, this, this? And, like, the girl there was so helpful for him and arranging it. And, like, I think...

Don't be scared to reach out. Shoot your shot. See if you can get a private thing at the aquarium. See if they'll let you meet a penguin. Yeah. I don't know. But like send the email, make the calls. Like it's the worst thing. No, you don't get what you don't ask for. And it's like I always say except for sex. No is like there's always a way around.

I like that. You know, like I want to make it very clear that like in sex, no means no. Yeah. But like finding solutions in life. No, there's no is the wrong answer. Yeah. I also think we can just if even if they haven't said it, assume people want their proposal to be special. Yeah. Like even more like do as special as you can even think of. If you're thinking about proposing to someone. You can get flowers like.

flowers I feel like are the bare minimum unless she hates flowers and have them in if it was the same thing and flowers had been spread in the area that he did it and like there had been something there I think that would have been enough and if you're gonna propose outside in nature please make sure they are real flower petals not some fake ass silk shit because that's not biodegradable

Yeah. But do do something like put a little thought effort into it. But like if you are going to propose to someone and you have no idea what they would like, you better start being a detective. You better send them a frickin quiz from BuzzFeed about best proposal proposal character I want. I don't care what it is, but you better start. You don't even need to go to BuzzFeed. Spare yourself going to BuzzFeed. In fact,

Just be like, yo, my dog is trying to propose to his girl right now. And like, he's asking me and I'm like, that goes based off of the person. Like for you, I know that you'd... And then just let them take over. How do you want to get proposed to? Me? I don't know.

Something so awesome. I want to be on a hike in Monterey. I want to be on a hike in Monterey. Yeah, apparently that's what I'm getting. Like, actually, you would love to be on a hike in Monterey. If I got proposed to on a hike, I'd be pissed because I don't fucking hike. If they hike all the time and she continues to go on them, I would assume that that might feel special. If it's their, like, thing. Chris is passionate. Probably some, like, fireworks and a blimp. I'm...

I'm pissed I didn't get fireworks. I'm kidding. I'm pissed I don't own a blimp. I keep joking with people. I'm like, send me up in a hot air balloon. But one of these days someone is going to say bet and put me in a balloon and I'm going to have to admit I don't want it. I'll put you in a balloon. I don't want to be in a balloon. Oh, why do you say it then? Because it's a dramatic. It's like a hot air balloon.

Oh my god, it's a hyperbole. Is it? What's it a hyperbole for? Wanting to get out of here? I'm like, what's that? When did this come up? What's the big word for exaggeration? You're like, um, hyperbole. Yeah. No, no, yeah, yeah. I guess, but like, hyperbole is more so like, I'm so hungry I could eat a lion, not I want to go up on a hot air balloon JK. Well... Right? It fits the calls I'm on. I...

It's for work. Oh, for marketing. You're like, okay. So when you're on a marketing call, you're like, put me in a balloon. I'm down to do anything. Put me in a hot air balloon. Oh, okay. We're missing a context. Yeah. You can't just say, I want to go on a hot air balloon and then someone would offer it and I'd say no. And then be like, that's hyperbole. I'd be like, no, I think that's you changing your mind. Okay. I understand that. Put me in a balloon. It's an exaggeration. Got it. No, then that is, I think. That is hyperbole. So we did it, guys. Thank you.

Thank you. I don't know what we just did, but something. We did it. Okay. Moving along.

This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. Between two-factor authentication, strong passwords, and a VPN, you try to be in control of how your info is protected. But many other places also have it, and they might not be as careful. That's why LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats. If your identity is stolen, they'll fix it, guaranteed, or your money back. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit LifeLock.com slash podcast for 40% off. Terms apply.

You got another one down there? Should I bring one out? This is like a shorter one. Okay, guys. So this one is also coming from r slash relationship advice. It is one day away from being a year old. Oh. And the title is. Wait, so it says 364. Yeah, three to 64 days. Oh my God. I've never seen that. I know. It's about to be a 365 party girl. Okay. My husband, 29 male, is upset that I, 28 female, bought a bigger fake ring for our upcoming vacation. What should I do?

I love this topic. Like, this is so... Ring sizes. I need a debate. Oh, my God. Take the fake ring and return it to him and say, I'm good with this marriage and run with the real one. Yeah.

We're about to go out of the country for a vacation. My real engagement ring is insured. However, I don't wear it to swim per our jeweler's recommendation. My husband and I are in agreement about me not wearing my real ring while we're at the pool at the resort. Since we would both like me to still wear a ring, I decided to order a last minute cheap one off Amazon. Admittedly, I could just wear my silicone band that I normally wear to work out. However, I thought this would be a fun opportunity to order a bigger ring in a different shape.

My husband is absolutely livid that I ordered this ring. He thinks I'm trying to pretend I'm someone I'm not by wearing a bigger ring. Oh, no. I'm someone who likes jewelry and flashy things, but I'm by no means trying to prance around passing off the ring as real. I have no qualms saying, oh, it's just a fake travel ring.

Plus, I would be wearing my real ring the rest of the time to dinner, etc. Again, I just don't see the big deal. I'm taken aback by his strong reaction and he snapped at me and is now refusing to talk to me. I feel like my only option is to return the ring and buy one identical same size and shape as my real ring. Am I overlooking how he feels? Should I just buy a fake identical ring? Whoa.

He's clearly feeling a little slighted, a little, well, damn, my ring I got her ain't good enough. But why are you thinking that about your spouse or your soon-to-be spouse? Like if that were, if you're engaged to get married, would you not be like, if they didn't like the ring, they would have told me? Are they engaged or married? And now this is... Engaged, I thought. They're married. Oh. My husband, yeah.

Does it say how long they've been married? I feel like it seems like they've been more recently married. That's just the vibe I'm getting. I'm sorry, if you're married, that's even worse to be like...

Yeah, it doesn't say how long they've been together. Why would you think the worst of your partner thinking like, they're so unhappy so they bought a fake one off Amazon. They were unhappy, babe. They'd tell you that they didn't like the fucking ring. I know. This is another one I'm torn on. You guys are really divisive ones today. I know. We're having like really intense conversations. I think she should tell her husband to suck it the fuck up.

I do see it being silly, right? Where it's like, it's a fake ring. I just wanted to have a little fun. Like, it doesn't take away the meaning from my ring you got me. It's like plain dress up. It's a travel ring. Yeah. You know, it's whatever. But I could see if this was like something like that he worked so hard to get her. Like, he spent so much on this ring and it was everything she wanted. And then she just goes ahead and buys this fake ring that's even bigger and more extravagant. Then it would almost maybe feel like

Like what I did wasn't good enough. Not if you're fucking secure. But he's not. There's some insecurity here. But why is that her problem? Like if he has insecurities, go to a therapist like a normal fucking adult. When people get a fake ring, do they usually get like an identical one? Because I guess my thought process is how hard would it be to always have an identical ring to your real ring? Like people probably all the time have like a slightly different ring. Two of my best friends got married.

And I'm going to ask them because she got a fake ring. I got a travel ring. So mine, I went a little smaller than my real one because my real one, like one, I had a friend scare the shit out of me. My friend Richa, I like went out. We did like a girl's brunch somewhere around LA, like shortly after I got engaged. And she was like, oh my God, your ring is gorgeous. But like, you cannot wear this.

traveling. You cannot wear this like going out certain places. And I was like, why? And she was like, my friend literally just got jumped for her ring. And so she really scared me. And so like, I ended up ordering a travel ring. And it was like a little smaller, different shape, like different. Justin didn't care. I don't think he would care if I got a bigger one either. But like,

I did something different and not so flashy because I don't want to draw attention. If I'm wearing a fake ring traveling, I don't want to draw attention to myself. I want to feel...

I don't want to get mugged or jumped. Yeah. So someone takes my ring because they're not going to know if it's real or fake walking past me on a sidewalk. They're going to punch and then ask questions later. Yeah. The one thing she says where I can see like that side is her being like, I thought this would be a fun opportunity to order a bigger ring in a different shape. Like that does kind of make it seem like she might like this other ring more.

or like maybe her attitude about it of like being so excited. I could see why that could kind of bother him. But at the end of the day, I'm just like, I don't know. I just don't think it is that deep. But again, I'm not like someone who... I can see both sides where I'm like, it's not that deep. It's dress up. It's her having fun. They both wanted her to get a fake ring. Okay. Let's say she got a Birkin. He gave her a real Birkin. A black...

silver hardware. Just a classic. And she's like, I'm going on a trip. I don't want to ruin this one. So I'm going to get a fake Birkin and she gets the Himalayan crocodile. But it's fake. That's not her saying, I don't like the bag you gave me.

That's saying I have the opportunity to get a fake one. Yeah. Why not? Have fun with it. Yeah. Why not be like, is it not just fucking dress up? Well, I think she wanted the fucking ring she's ordering. She would have asked for it. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I do think that that's exactly what her mindset was. She's just like, hee hee, wow, how fun it'll be to have a fat rock on my hand. Not I need a fat rock, but like, wow, how fun. I bought a fucking fake engagement ring off TikTok because I'm like, how fun to have an engagement ring. Just like, but it's just like, it's like buying a wig. It's like, I don't hate my hair. I just sometimes want to play around. No, and I'm fully on board with like. I texted my friends who. Did they respond? Yeah.

Uh, she said she got pretty much the exact same one. Okay. Oh. Um, but then I asked if you got a bigger ring, would you be mad or feel slighted to my friend who... Bought the ring. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. To him. This is good research. Um, I was like, I'm filming, they're putting their baby down to bed. Um, so one second on the second question. Okay. I will say like, I'm fully in the boat too of like,

having multiple engagement rings. Like, I joke where I'm like, I want to be like Victoria Beckham. I want 15 different engagement rings. Does she have 15? Yeah. Good for her. Yeah. And some of like one of her rings is worth like a million, which I'm not in that caliber, but like, I might want... Listen, she's posh spice for a reason. I know. But like, I think you can do like...

One, if your main ring was like five grand, that's insane. My main ring did not cost that. I went Moissanite. I was very reasonable. And I think you can like upgrade over the years or you can do like, hey, push present. Here's another ring. Yeah. Like I am fully on the board of you can have multiple and have it not take away meaning from the original. I'm trying to put myself in that headspace of like a ring being so, so special and like representing so much. And then it's like, would it?

mean something if I got like a like a bigger one as a fake version. I don't know. I don't know. My reaction is no. But I'm not. Have you seen the TikTok trend where like this person stops girls on the beach and is like, how much does he need to spend on your engagement ring? And some girls are like three months salary. And so it's like, OK, if I would be pissed, I'm putting myself in this shoe. If I spent $1,000

I don't know, 15, 20 grand on a ring for Justin, three months salary. And then he was like, I'm going to, I don't really, I'm going to try something new. I'd be like, but she wasn't saying I want to try something new. She's like, we're going on vacation. I don't want to bring my real one.

Like, essentially, like, I'm playing dress up. She's not like, fuck the ring. I don't want to be seen in public wearing that. That's true. You know, like if she was saying that, I'd be like, that's horrific. And this is where you need to have a conversation and ask him, where do your feelings really lie, babe? I also think his reaction of like snapping at her and now refusing to talk to her. Not talking to her is crazy. Like that's too much regardless about the situation. That is crazy. My guy friend just got back to me. He said, yeah, he goes, I bought the fake too, lol.

So it did not apply, but I don't think I would feel slighted or get mad because I know she doesn't really care. Obviously, she doesn't want a piece of sand for a diamond, haha. But she's not into having it be a boulder to show off. And I know... You can't read the rest? No, just because it's like a friend dynamic, but...

Yeah, I just... That's good insight. I just don't think... Comfortable, very secure in the relationship. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like, if you're married, this shouldn't bother you. It shouldn't. Because if it did bother any party, they would hopefully say something. Exactly. And you should be able to have a conversation and be like, hey, it hurts my feelings. It feels like my ring isn't good enough. Not even that. You should be able to have a conversation. Hey, do you like the ring I got you? Yeah, why? Oh, okay. I just thought you buying a bigger one meant you maybe didn't. Communicate. Done. Communicate.

Like, oh my God. Oh my God. I forget there's always follow-ups. Do we have... Well, I was going to read the top comment first. The top comment says, does he just think you're not impressed with your ring and is trying to mask his hurt feelings by acting angry? Yeah. I don't really understand why you need to wear a fake ring at all, but it makes sense you don't want to lose your ring. So they kind of just answered why she needs to do it in that question. Yeah. I know. I was like, what? Which like, I mean, also kind of like why...

I don't know. Like, that is a good question of, like, why do we feel the need for fake rings? Why can you just not wear it? For me, I like having a ring on. I like literally in the elevator at one of the places we went to in London, someone was like, are you trying to have a good time tonight? Are you single? And I literally just held up my hand and it was like, okay, done. Thanks. Leave me alone. It is such...

Totally. Leave me alone. People wear fake engagement rings all the time. It's very easy to understand why someone would want to wear a fake engagement ring. What's that big word? Hackled? Harassed? That's one. Heckled. Heckled. That as well. I was thinking of a much bigger word. So we don't have any responses from the OP. Are you kidding?

you kidding me but a jeweler weighed in let's go the jeweler said i am a jeweler that's how i knew that tipped me off um i've seen so many arguments over stone size lol op this is ego his feelings are hurt and he's not able to interpret that on his own so it comes out as anger also he's displaying anger instead of realizing that you didn't buy a bigger ring to hurt his feelings or point out some defect in the ring he bought it's not a jab at his income or taste it's just a silly piece of play jewelry and that's allowed

You're allowed to have a for fun ring to wear. I have a couple too, specifically for travel. But sometimes I just wear them because it's fun and sparkly. Who cares? Have a sit down with your husband. Give him a safe space to air out his feelings. No judgment. He's allowed to have his feelings and he can figure out why he's having such a negative reaction to something that doesn't mean anything to you. But just because it's not sentimental to you and your real ring is doesn't mean he knows or views it the same way.

If you made a big deal in his eyes about how nice your fake is, he might be hurt that you might have regrets about the genuine one. He needs reassurance that you're invested, but you're fully capable of being present while also enjoying sparkly temporary things. That you know the ring that's between the two of you is special and exactly what you wanted.

But that's like what I'm saying. If you were a body bag. This is like, I am passionate.

I'm literally, I'm just like, this husband blows. Like, what? She's having fun. If she's to dress up for Halloween for a character that has a big ring, is she only allowed to wear her engagement ring? Yeah. Like, that's essentially what she's doing is playing fucking dress up. That's a really good point. No, it's a really good point. It's like, just go to therapy. And that is, like, at the base of this, they need to just communicate. Like, this is coming from relationship advice. He needs to communicate. Yeah. Like, hey. He does. So true. And,

I think there's a lot of times in life where, like, I know myself. Like, when I am just, like, overwhelmed, I can get kind of snappy and shut down and, like, not react in the way I would ideally want to with a rational mind. But, you know— God, you're so flawed. You're pointing out so many flaws today. I know. I told you. I told you. I'm no saint. I am not a saint. She gets snappy. But, like, I think—

And this is a generalization, but a lot of men are not in touch with their emotions. A lot of men are not taught. It's okay. Who knows that? To be in touch and like...

Be hurt. So for him, it's like, I can't be hurt. I'm going to be angry and I'm going to ignore her. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? I had no idea. I know. I thought men were more in touch with their emotions than women. Technically, I just learned this recently. Men and women are equally as emotionally intelligent, just in different categories, which-

But some people train that shit and some people don't think they have to. I'm like, I don't think that's accurate, doctor. I will say, I don't know if this is on a Patreon episode, but Lauren and I get into it. It might be on a regular. I don't, you guys, I black out all the time on which goes where. She's wasted. She's so wasted right now. But I'm like, we can take her anywhere. I think, you know, this is a good lesson to be like,

What is the core feeling? Like we need to give men the feeling wheel and it's like you're acting angry, but like where is this actually coming from?

I know that sounds silly. Do we have to do that though? No. That's what I'm saying. We shouldn't. That's for fourth grade in the nurse's office. Not your husband. How am I feeling today? Move the magnet. I know. That's sorry. No. Men can fucking grow a pair, nut up, and take charge of your fucking life. It's not weird or gay to talk about your feelings or to wash your ass.

Grow up, step up to the plate and shut up. That was a recent discovery. Oh my God. What the men don't wipe their ass? Well, no, I've known that since starting this podcast, but like apparently wiping your butt doesn't, it means you're not an alpha male. No, it's crazy. Yeah. Like this is a whole thing in the alpha male world. Like you cannot wipe your butt. The alpha male world. I mean, just say you're a fucking loser and move on.

Wait, like, they must get, like, diseases or something. You would wish. I know. Or, like, some kind of rash. And yet they're still here. I don't know. There's no update on this one? No, I'm so sorry. I can't believe. You are fucking us wrong. I know. Dude. And I didn't even tell you beforehand. I know. Oh, I'm, like, sitting here like, what happened? I...

need something with an update. I need something with an update. Maybe on the 365th day, they'll give an update. You're so real. One year later. She's like, we're divorced and I can finally talk about it. Dude, I need an update. I mean, I feel like that might be a lot of the time why people don't give updates if like things have gotten really emotional. But I don't know. This doesn't seem relationship ending. He just needs to like

I don't know. If I were her, I'd get the fuck out. Oh, if he handles like every disagreement like this. This is how he's handling fucking cubic zirconium. We are cooked, dude. I mean, what's he going to do when she finds out she took plan B or something? I mean, God, he might. Yeah. I'm so tired of hearing about men. Well, I mean, you're like, well, here we go. Let me see what I have for you. Yeah.

Let me see what I have for you. Any dogs? Okay, let me see what I got. Okay, I think I'm going to give you guys a choice on this last one. Oh my God, we got a choice? A choice or a coin flip. You can put it to either. Option number one, am I the asshole for canceling the entire vacation when I found out that my stepdaughters deliberately hid my daughter's passport to get her to stay home?

Oh, my God. Option two. I'm going to have an answer. Am I overreacting? Husband says me taking a bath on vacation is unreasonable. I can't deal with any more shitty husbands. I really can't. Or option three. Am I the asshole for leaving my friends stranded during a road trip after they repeatedly disrespected my boundaries?

Honestly, the last two feel exhausting. I love the idea of the first one. The past part? That sounds really good. It sounds very special and unique. Okay, thank God. I mean, but do you agree or... No, I do. I do think they all sound great. Oh. I do think...

If you have a strong feeling about two or three and you want to hear those, I really defer to you. No, I like the passport idea. Like, I need some girl drama. I like it. Am I the asshole for canceling the entire vacation when I found out that my stepdaughters deliberately hid my daughter's passport to get her to stay home? Just like, no, already. Yeah.

I've been married to my wife, Beth, for five years. I have a bio daughter named Jessica. She's 18. And I also have two stepdaughters named Monica and Leah. They're both 25 and 28. Both are single moms and live with us currently. I've read Cinderella before.

There's been issues about my stepdaughters asking my daughter to babysit the kids. Jessica didn't have a problem with it at first, since this is what she does to earn money, but since her stepsisters don't pay her much, she would just refuse to babysit. We worked this out by having my wife take care of paying for the babysitting.

I planned a family vacation for three days and everyone wanted to go. However, both Monica and Leah suggested that Jessica stay home and watch the kids since Beth doesn't want her grandkids to come. She can't go to the ball. Sorry, just saying. They said it's because the kids are used to Jessica and hiring another babysitter would cause issues. And also said that Jessica isn't too fond of our destination. But it was obvious that Jessica wanted to go.

They insisted, and Beth offered to pay her double. And there was just a lot of back and forth on this until I demanded they stop bringing it up.

We were supposed to go last week, but when everybody had bagged their bags and was time to go, Jessica found out that she didn't have her passport on her. We searched her bag, then went home and searched there. Beth and my stepdaughters kept insisting that we go back to the airport or else we would miss our flight. They insisted that Jessica just stay home with the kids. They even told the new babysitter to go home because she was no longer needed.

I refused to go and kept searching for the passport until Monica admitted that she helped Leah hide Jessica's passport to get her to stay home with the kids. I was livid. I tried to get her to tell me where it was, but she said that Leah had it. Leah denied, so I threatened to cancel the vacation, and that's when they gave it back.

I decided to actually cancel the vacation and blew up at both of them and berated them. They stayed upstairs for a while and Beth refused to speak to me and said that I punished my stepdaughters for worrying about their kids and wanting them to stay with someone they know. I got told I overreacted and ruined the trip for everybody. Am I the asshole? No. That's like cartoonishly evil.

This is biblical. This is biblical greed and biblical evil. To also this line here, I find this so comical. I punished my stepdaughters for worrying about their kids and wanting them to stay with someone they know.

bitch they know you why they know their mother why aren't their moms staying home literally their moms don't need to go on a vacation if they can't bring the kids bring the kids or find child care they're comfortable with it's giving casey anthony and that's on that i talk about it on my podcast this week clues baby we did an episode on her period people need to be tuning in the clues this week

It's an insane case. It blows my mind. I'm sorry, what mom is like, yeah, I'm good leaving my kids at home. That is totally... I mean, like, I guess that's fine. I'm not, like, judging anybody who does, but, like, if your concern is them being around someone familiar... That's what I mean. Then why aren't you the one staying home? That. That's what I mean. It's like, obviously, moms can leave their kids. No, we're on the same page, baby. Yeah. We're on the same page. After the last couple of stories, I'm like, I have to be clear with my opinion. I'm like...

Like, what is happening? I feel also it's like a little symbolic that it's a family vacation and they're trying to push her out of it. Like, it's more weighted for them to try to remove her from this type of trip because they clearly don't want her on the family trip. Also, it's just crazy because aren't they grown? Yeah. Aren't they 25 and 28? Yeah. Like, okay, wait. What's the daughter's name? The biological daughter? Okay, if Jessica's minding her business and then...

Both stepsisters are also minding Jessica's business. Who's minding the stepsister's business? That's what I want to know. Those are moms. Oh my God, they have kids. They have kids. And they're acting like kids. Mean girls. Mean girls. To steal someone's passport and manipulate the situation so she can't come on a trip just so she can watch your kids. So she can do you a solid job.

It's nuts. Diabolical. Like Cinderella. And if grandma doesn't want her grandkids on a trip, that's fine. But Beth doesn't need to be the scapegoat that gets left at home. For them to tell the new babysitter, you can leave. Yeah. You can leave.

They're like, she's not finding it. We hid it really well. Yeah, it's in my pocket, actually. They were like creating this situation of chaos to the point where Jessica would be like, okay, well, if the babysitter's leaving and we can't find it, I guess I'll stay home anyways. This is an 18-year-old and you are going to have her watch two young kids by herself for days on end. That's irresponsible. I think you're being... I think we should call CPS. I think you're being bad. I think we should call CPS. I don't like it.

How old was this? Two years ago. Damn right. Ooh, did we have an update? Top comment? Not the asshole. To be honest, I would have kicked your wife and lazy, no good stepchildren out right then and there and ended the marriage. If they were 12, I might understand this level of entitlement and immaturity. But in their late 20s?

And what the fuck with your wife? She should have roasted them for pulling that bullshit. 100%. Because she clearly doesn't care about your daughter. Next comment down. There is no way the wife wasn't in on this too. She absolutely knew the plan. OP needs to ditch all three of them. Wait, that's such a gag because it's so true. She knew. It was probably her idea. Not Morgan stirring the pot. I have chills, Morgan. I have chills. It was probably her idea. Morgan stirring the pot and I'm smoking it. She probably blew.

Oh my God. The evil runs deep. Where did they learn that shit from? This is one. It blows my mind that some people are willing to put up with partners that hate their kids. Yeah. Like, yeah, that would be just like a non-negotiable for me. I see this all the time on Father Knows. Like my dad's show, the amount of write-ins we get like from you guys, the listeners, real people that are like, my dad picked my stepmom over us. He won't come to my graduation. He won't be at my wedding. Like it's like,

Oh, that's so sad. For what? That's so heartbreaking. This is your kid. This is half of you. Yeah. Okay, let's go to the account, see if we have an update. I don't even know my kids yet. If someone did that shit to them, I'd skin them alive probably. This... Yeah, my dad was a deputy, so... Is unfortunate. There's no way.

I did it to us now. It was me. There's no update? There's no update. What the fuck? This should just be called edging the episode. Oh my God, literally. Like, I'm leaving here with the bluest of fucking balls, dude. It literally is. Like, the Blue Man Group looks gray. This is bad. We have two comments from OP. I don't know why they caught us straight, but the Blue Man Group. Poor guys just out there beating on their drums.

Two comments from OP. One, someone says you should kick them out. Like, get them out of your house if they're going to act like this towards your daughter. I'm afraid this is not an option since my wife co-owns the house. Okay, we'll get a new one. So they've got, like, many families in that house. Right? Like, because both of the daughters also have families. Yeah. Oh, my God. Like, like.

There's a lot. Wait, are both of them single? Are they both single mothers? Single moms. I wonder why. I didn't put that together until now. Yeah, because they're fucking rotted. They were evil. They were evil. I'll give them that. They're rotted. Why can't the other parents watch them for three days? That's a great question. Curious about that. So the other comment we have from OP is in response to this. Not the asshole. You don't just have a stepdaughter problem, though. You have a wife problem. Morgan said

I would rethink your current family situation and how your daughter is being treated. Yeah. OP goes, you're right. After seeing where my wife stands in this, I'm beginning to consider some things. Beginning? What a cliffhanger to leave us on. I'm beginning to consider some things and then never returns again to leave another comment. To say what those things are that are being considered? Edgy. That's not very considerate. Wow.

Is edging, like, can you use that in non-sexual ways? Yeah. Is that okay? Yeah. You just fucking edged us. She edged us. We all edged each other. I haven't done anything except sit here and look gorgeous, so. Well, guess what? Next time. I'll look ugly. You get to bring a story. Really? Mm-hmm. I was, like, totally fine not having homework. I really just feel like it's, like, the end of class and the teacher just assigned homework and you're like, fuck, I thought she was gonna forget. I thought we were good. Ugh.

Edging? Trip. I don't know what title that could be. Trip to the edge of the center. Trip to the edge. Trip to the edge. It kind of is. On the edge. Because it's like a double entendre. What the fuck is that? You've never heard of a double entendre? I was trying to explain hyperbole. Do you think I've heard of that? So true. But you were right in the end of it all. Thank you. You just explained it horribly.

We were just a little lost, but then you found us. Two shots, one bird, double entendre. Two shots, one bird, I kind of stand by. But that's an instant classic. That's like an instant classic. No, that's like a banger from the start. What's a double entendre before we go? Oh, it has two meanings. So it's like on the edge, but then also edging, you know? I like that. Okay. Trip to the edge. Like Nicki Minaj uses so many double entendres. There's one song. Rah, rah, like a dungeon dragon.

I don't know if that... No, but I love that energy. I love that you came at it with such confidence. She can say all my shows sell tics like Boston. Sell tics, Boston. Sell tics like Boston. Wow. So that's a double entendre. Maybe that's not a double entendre, but that's what I see as a double entendre.

We all learned something. I don't know if we've learned fucking anything except communicate to your partner. My God. Crazy that that's just the common theme. Always. Thank you guys so, so, so much for being here with me. Where can everyone find you guys? Just Google me, Mikayla Oakland.

You can find me on Instagram and TikTok at Chris Clemons. I have my new podcast, Chris First the People, wherever you get podcasts. We have video episodes up on YouTube.com slash at Chris First the People. And I have a YouTube channel as well. But I guess I'll take your answer. You can just Google me, Chris Clemons. I didn't. I think I let you go first.

There was another episode, everybody. There wasn't, was there? I don't recall. That's so crazy. Sabotage. That's all I got. If you want to see a little more of Chris for free, we did an insane, insane story on Patreon. It's free. It's one of the most...

crazy reddit stories it's in the reddit hall of fame it is the jolly rancher story no it is free but the therapy that you will need afterwards will not be don't send me the bill other than that until next time guys bye