25: Petty Problems.. They're Like Icebergs
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Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host Morgan. And I'm Lauren. Petty problems. The petty ones sometimes end up being the fucking worst. Usually brings to light a lot more of issues going on in the relationship. What do you think our pettiest problem has been? Ours? Yeah. Like what's our pettiest fight? I don't know. You've had a lot. Yeah.

Have we not? Like, I feel like all of our fights are petty. Like, or, like, any argument or disagreement we've had is usually, like, not that big of a deal. Yeah, I think we're both very sensitive people. Yeah. And then we're just like, ha, ha, ha. We, like, bottle things up and then it, like, all comes out. What do you think our most petty fight is? I don't even know if I want to know it. It might start another petty fight. Well, I was, like, thinking about asking you this question and I was like, I honestly can't think of one because I think...

Like my pettiest fights I've had with friends, you're typically like the one to back me up. Like the episode with Josh, I talked about how I took an Uber from San Diego back to LA and you came with me. Oh. And it was all over the fact that someone ate my Taco Bell food.

That was kind of a shit show of a night, though. Shit show? I think that was, like, your last straw. It was. Because, like, you were fighting with Sarah, I think. Yeah, I was. And, like, everything was just going down the drain. And all I fucking wanted after trying to be a mediator was my Taco Bell. And we, I don't know if, like, half of us just assumed that no boys were going to get invited over. But, like, boys were invited over. And we were just, like, it was. We were over it. We weren't on the same page. We were over it. Yeah. Yeah, but I can't think of a petty fight we've really had. Yeah. Yeah.

Honestly, maybe me being mad at you that you twisted your ankle on our road trip. I was mad at you for being mad at me. See, petty fights you guys. How could you be mad at me? I was struggling. I wanted to have a good time. I was in pain.

You were like, she's faking. I was like, oh, my ankle is huge. No, I didn't think you were faking your ankle. I thought you were being dramatic about your wrist at WeFest. Yeah. Yeah. That one honestly might have hurt even worse. But I was just like drunk the whole time because we were at a country music. Oh, my God.

What do you call these things? A country music festival. Oh, okay. Yeah. I kept wanting to say country music fest, and I was like, that doesn't sound right, though. Same thing. Same thing. Okay. Yeah. Apparently, my petty fights are started when you injure yourself, and I'm apparently a big bitch, because fuck, that sounds terrible. Those did really hurt. Both of those times did. Sprains hurt worse than breaks sometimes. I remember I was trying to shave my legs, and oh, God. Yeah.

It was because it was my right hand. So like trying to shave your leg with your left hand. I don't know. I challenge you all to do it. No. So we've talked about this before. Unless you're obviously left-handed. So no, but we've talked about this before because I work with neuro patients a lot and I will practice shaving with just my left hand like just in case. And like I think everyone should do this. Like practice shaving your legs, eating and masturbating with your opposite hand.

I did not expect the last one. You got to be able to be a little ambidextrous. Yeah. That's

No, it is funny. Morgan says that like so seriously. I'm 100% serious. Yeah, she's said this for years now. She's like, I, you know, have dealt with like stroke patients. So why not try to make sure I know how to use both hands in case I have a stroke and something. You guys, it's just showing you how big of a fucking hypochondriac I am. Yeah, but I mean, you make a good point unless it's like taking over your life and...

Maybe not that great. But if you just once in a while are masturbating with your left hand, I think that's fine. Once in a while. I think that's healthy. Try it out. It might feel even better. It might feel like – I've heard guys have actually talked about this. This is not the sex episode, Morgan. Like, Morgan, what are you doing? But I've heard guys talk about this where it's like, if you want to feel like it's not even you, use your opposite hand. Oh, I've never heard that. Yeah. So try it out, ladies and gentlemen, if you haven't already. Yeah.

But petty problems. Let's dive in. Let's go. I have a feeling, though, like I read one already because I responded to her. OK. But I have a feeling that just based off of like that one and the titles, like they might sound petty, but they're going to be like anything but.

And I'm sorry ahead of time if I sound like a fucking goofball because I've had a lot of caffeine today. Too much caffeine. And I'm just going to apologize ahead of time. You sound fine to me. We'll see how this goes. So up first, we have a listener write-in.

Did they respond to your Instagram post? Is that what you're getting this from? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So I put out an Instagram post being like, has anyone have any like petty problems that have like really impacted their lives? So, well, they're labeling it as petty then. So I don't think we should worry too much. Yeah. Fingers crossed. Yeah. So up first, a listener write in, am I the asshole for refusing to pay for my friend's expensive dress, which I ruined while I was drunk?

I feel like I want to say yes based off that title, right? We'll see. I don't drink alcohol at all. No health reasons. I just choose not to since me drinking has resulted in a lot of very impulsive, very bad decisions in the past. So I haven't had a drop for three years. My friends know this. They also know the reason.

Now, one of my childhood friends is getting married, and on her bachelorette party, I specifically requested that I only be served virgin cocktails. Nobody objected, and my friend said she covered it with our waiters. Turns out, she didn't. And she specifically chose drinks where the juice and energy drink would mask the taste of alcohol.

After the fourth round, I realized I'm pretty well buzzed, and she fessed up, saying she just wanted me to be my old, fun self for one night. Sadly, my old, fun self decided this was reason enough to be impulsive again, and I emptied my red-colored drink on her expensive white dress, which is now ruined.

Now I'm uninvited from the wedding until I apologize and pay for her dress since I'm always the one saying that, quote, being drunk is never an excuse for your own bad decisions, which is true. And yes, ruining her dress was a heavy overreaction. But since she took the decision of not getting drunk away from me and out of my hands, I really don't feel this applies in this situation. All of our friends are on her side.

Am I the asshole if I don't pay and just skip the wedding? That's so ridiculous. You don't just get your sober friend drunk. I don't.

I mean, yes, if I were her, maybe I would just pay for the dress anyway because I would feel bad. Yeah, it wasn't like the best decision to pour a drink on someone. But like... No! I just can't believe that all of her friends would be on this other person's side. Like what that person did was so wrong. She should be the one apologizing. What that person did? Was horrible. That was horrible.

That was so awful. What that person did is illegal in many countries. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, that would make sense. Putting alcohol in someone's drink unknowingly. Yeah. That's like that's the same as like roofing. Yeah. Especially when she said, I have a problem with alcohol. I don't drink.

And I think like- That's reckless. So reckless. And I think the decisiveness between her saying, I just felt like I made bad decisions with alcohol. Like that was her conclusion. She didn't feel like it was like true alcoholism, which I'm not saying it is at all. Like I don't, I think if you, a lot of people come to this decision too. Like I don't like the way alcohol makes me feel. I don't do the best with alcohol, whatever. So I don't drink.

But if she would have like been a true alcoholic, would her friend have acted the same way? Right. Like disrespected her and her beliefs and what she wants? Insanely disrespectful. I can't even imagine. I mean like one of my friends, she was not drinking. She was sober and I gave her – it was like –

I made her a drink. It was a sparkling soda, like a sparkling lime soda water. And then I put like a little bit of margarita mix that had no alcohol in it because I was like, oh, this is like, it tastes really good. A virgin margarita. Yeah, it's a virgin margarita. And she was like, are you sure there's not any alcohol in it? And I was like, no, absolutely not. Like I would...

I would not do that to you. I would do that to you. Like, I promise you. So I just – I remember even her asking me made me feel guilty because I was like, well, was that a bad idea to, like, offer, like, a virgin margarita? Because it's – You know what I mean? Maybe it would trigger something. Like, maybe it would just make her – I don't know. But, like, so even that, I felt bad in that when it was actively a virgin drink. And I just can't believe that this girl is so –

I just don't understand how her focus is on her drink and not the fact that what she did was completely betraying someone. Yeah. You know? I think it's so fucked up. Like, she crossed so many lines. And it's like, she went out of her way to get this person drunk. And like, oh, I just wanted you to be your old fucking self. Yeah, what the hell? That's mean, too. That's a slap in the face. That's just not fun anymore. Yeah.

I'm not fun without alcohol. Yeah. So, I haven't been drinking for three years and you haven't liked doing drugs with me for the past three years? That's reckless. It's fucking so disrespectful. I think if I was her, though, I would honestly just be like, hey, I'm gonna pay for your dress. Because I would just not want it on my hands. I would just be like, I'm gonna pay for your dress, like, and you... And I'm gonna go my separate ways. Like, what you did... No, because then now she... Now her friend... What is her friend mad at her for? Now her friend can focus on what she did was so wrong. I would be like...

Here's your money for your dress. I'm not going to be friends with you anymore because what you did was awful and I'm not going to your wedding. I think paying for the dress. How much was it? It was $200. Like whatever. If it was $200. Oh, okay. Yeah. So it was right on my line. Yeah. If it was more than $200, I'd be like, nah. But if it was like $200 or less, like I'd be like, just whatever. I'll...

I think paying for the dress though is almost like an admission of like you were wrong. Like it's admitting that, yeah, I fucked up. I shouldn't have spilled the thing on you versus the actual problem is no, you shouldn't have fucking put alcohol in my drink.

If she kept, like... I think, like, oh, if you want to keep bringing this up, let's file a police report. Yeah. Let's file a police report and actually identify the problem that you got me drunk unknowingly after I specifically said I do not drink and I want virgin cocktails. Yeah. I can... Fuck paying for that bitch's dress. Yeah. I guess...

I guess I kind of saw it a different way. I mean, that makes sense too. But hey, that's okay. Yeah. Two hot takes for a reason. I just saw it differently because I saw it like instead of an admission to guilt, it's more of like, hey, yeah, I ruined your dress. I'll pay for it. And then you can sit and think about what you did

Because now you're like right now she has a reason to be like, you screwed me over. Now if you pay for a dress, she has no reason to be like, you screwed me over. So she's only going to be focused on like, what did I do to make my friend not want to go to my wedding anymore? Well, I tricked her into getting drunk. Like, you know what I mean? Now she can't just be like, fuck that bitch for ruining my dress. I don't think someone like this, like someone that's willing to do this to their friend. I don't think she'll ever see it. Yeah. Fuck this friend. Don't go to the wedding. Move on. I see. And that's the thing. If you want to pay for the dress, just so like,

You ended on good terms. Like not good terms, but you ended on your terms. You keep your side of the street clean. Exactly. And it's like, oh, if you want to pay for the dress, just so. It's like, here, I paid for your dress, but what you still did was so fucked up, I'm done with you regardless. Yeah. Then, okay, I could see that. But like me. You wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't waste my money on that fucking terrible, terrible friend. Yeah. Fuck that. Flip a coin. Yeah.

You could. You could. Bad vibes with that friend. I wouldn't, God, I wouldn't trust her at all. I'm like, I've been roofied in the past and like,

it's alcohol versus roofing it's like it's the same concept like if you're knowingly putting something in someone's drink or like alcohol in someone's drink and they don't want it but like doing that to someone like fucks them up like how's she gonna ever trust to have like another drink with friends ever again like a virgin one but like oh it's just the trust issues and like rufalin like getting roofied fucks with you like can cause lifelong health effects

Yeah. I do not think she should waste her time being friends with that person anymore. No. Not at all. Cut her out. Okay, another listener write-in. So when I posted the prompt, I was just like, tell me a petty story, blah, blah, blah. And she goes, my old roommate's boyfriend left a bag of urine on my desk when I went away for the weekend. I don't understand how that happens. What? So it's kind of a long story. I was living with my sorority big for the past year, and our friendship turned to shit.

Frankly, I realized how toxic and manipulative she was, so I didn't want any part of it anymore. It was probably sometime in March when I came back to our place one weekend after staying with a friend. I didn't realize that a TJ Maxx shopping bag that I had sitting on my desk had a suspicious yellow liquid in it until hours later, so I put my car keys on top of it. Well, I went to grab them a couple hours later when I realized they were wet.

I checked the ceiling, walls, and desk to see if anything else was wet.

But absolutely nothing. I held up the bag and saw it was a yellow liquid, and it looked to be more than eight ounces of it. I'm currently in my school's nursing program, so I know what urine looks like and the smell. It became very clear to me that it was urine after the smell got worse. So I took the bag and put it in the kitchen sink. The smell became even worse, so I had to dispose of it. My dad came down to my apartment two days later and put locks on my door. When I went to move out...

Of the place in June, my dad saw all the damage on my doors of them trying to break the lock and get into my bedroom. I have more crazy stories if you do an episode on roommates again. What? I want to hear if she confronted him or her. She doesn't say? Doesn't say. That's all I got. But that's not petty. That's fucking like... That's malicious. That's so malicious. That's like... That kind of reminds me of... I won't say names, but... Well...

We have a friend who has a certain ex-roommate. Oh, you know. You know what I was talking about then. She put bleach in people's shampoo. I don't know why I didn't think... Or Nair. She put Nair in their shampoo, right? I thought it was bleach. It was either bleach or Nair. She put bleach and she... And not like... It's not like they thought maybe she did or they started realizing. She admitted to it. She goes, yeah, I put bleach in that bitch's hair. Or sorry, in her shampoo. I think she like fucked with their food too. I don't know. I don't know. But...

She was clearly going through some shit because that is so fucked up and dangerous. Like, you don't... That's assault. That is completely... Honestly, if the person got sick and died, that would be murder. Exactly. 100%. It could be attempted murder. A one million percent. Like, for sure assault. Bleach is so dangerous. Like, you don't just put that in something that you're, like, washing or near your mouth or your...

face or you know what i mean like that that was that was crazy and so this to me obviously bad this obviously isn't isn't as dangerous but like that's a malicious thing to do that's not petty petty is like making some like backhanded comment like not yeah peeing in a plastic bag and like trying to break into your room and like terrorize you i just don't understand like we i

Is it so Elsa? Like, oh, he was marking his territory. Like, this was her... Like, the sorority big house. Like, I don't get the point of peeing in a bag and, like, leaving it in someone's room. Like, what point are you trying to prove? That's a good point. That is a good point. Are you just, like... Like, does that make you sleep better at night? What? Like...

What type of damage are you trying to cause to this person's psyche? So weird. People sometimes are just so weird. I don't get it. Yeah. Like this one, I'm like, this is beyond. It's petty, but it's also like we've said, like very fucking malicious. This one baffles me. If you've ever left pee somewhere, let us know why. Let's dive into these Reddit stories.

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Visit Safeway.com for more details. Moving away from the listener right end. Okay. What? I don't know. I feel like people are going to come for me on my take for this one because it's a horse story. And we all know I'm a horse girl.

Am I the asshole for not telling my boyfriend I took out a student loan and now want to buy a horse? Why would she be an asshole? It's her boyfriend. Her money, technically, too. Yeah. I, 27 female, and my boyfriend, 25 male, are in medical school and law school, respectively. We lived together for two years in one apartment and this year moved to our new city where the cost of living is higher than before.

In the old apartment, I was an undergrad and he was working as a mechanic. We agreed that I would move in and pay him what my parents gave me for housing and that seemed like a good situation. This ended up in about a 60-40 split in the apartment. He had already been living there and this was more of a windfall than a detriment to him. When I graduated and was accepted into medical school and he in a law school in the same city, we were thrilled that we would be able to continue to live together so we could build a life together.

When he asked about my living arrangements and how we would split the new place, I told him that I would have significant debt from med school and didn't want to take out any more.

he seemed upset but his scholarship and military status meant he wouldn't have a lot of debt coming out and we would sacrifice in the apartment and where we lived but he agreed when i started med school and took out my loans i took additional money out as a nest egg in case i needed it i did not tell him about the loans the arrangement ended up that my parents paid my rent the same as before and he paid the rest now more along the

the lines of a 70-30 split with the increases in costs. Now that the school year is over, I still have my nest egg. I want to use it to buy my first horse as I'm a professional horse rider for others. This horse is about $10,000 and I have arrangements for low stable fees.

The horse's lineage could mean that this would be a great investment long term, as well as achieving a lifelong goal. I told this to my boyfriend and offered him to buy into the investment, and now he's very upset with me and wants to talk later. My boyfriend paid the majority of the bills over three years, so I wouldn't take out loans for room and board for graduate school. I took out loans without him knowing and want to buy a horse for them since the school year is over.

Asshole. Yeah. Asshole. That's different. I mean, once you start mixing finances like that and when someone's covering for you and then you just go off and do your own thing, like that is very clearly like kind of manipulative. Like it's just it. It's yeah. I don't know. I don't even know the word for it. Like, I don't know if it's manipulative, but it's just like you let them kind of cover for you this entire time. And he's like unknowingly. Yeah. And yeah.

I don't know. That just doesn't sit right with me. And especially if she made this decision without kind of talking to him about it. You know, like if she was like, hey, like I know that you've done this for me and that for us. And like, and I really appreciate everything that's been happening and la la la, whatever. However, this is a lifelong dream.

And I hope that you can understand why this is so important to me and kind of like a conversation like that. But because she already was like, so I'm getting a horse. Do you want to come in on it or not? Hey, do you want to buy in? Yeah. Might be a good investment. Yeah. And also, it might not be. What if, depending on the riding you do, what if it's a jumper and it breaks its leg? Then your boyfriend and you are out your investment. There's one thing I've learned about animals and this, again, like,

not viewed this way by all, but like horses, like people buy and sell horses. They're not like dogs where you keep the dog the whole entire time.

or like you're supposed to keep the dog the whole entire time but horses like you buy and sell horses you buy a horse train it use it for what you need if it's not working out or if it's not competitive enough for you you typically sell that horse like that's how horses work some people don't do that they keep the horses for life like I have one pony that I've had since I was five he'll die with me like literally so there's that there's always going to be another horse

finish fucking medical school. You're going to be a doctor. You're going to have, you're going to have this money. Like granted, yeah, you'll have debt, but you'll have this money and you can do whatever you want with it then. But to put your boyfriend, like just because he's not leaving with as much debt as you, like to put him in a bad position, like how are his finances? Like you're taking advantage of him to buy a fucking $10,000 horse.

If it was a thousand bucks or like two, sure, buy the horse. Ten grand while you're still in grad school? You don't know what's going to happen down the road. What if you two break up and then you have to find your own apartment? Yeah, I mean, I think just because of the fact that he was actively covering more of the expenses so that she would not have to take out loans. And then she turns around and was like... Takes out the fucking loan. Took out the loan to do something selfishly while you supported...

you know us or me more than like a 50 50 you know like that that yeah that just that just doesn't sit right no it rubs me the wrong way did uh did the rest of the internet think so too yeah top comment you're the asshole your nest egg is just extra debt and you deliberately withheld it from your partner who together with your parents have been paying your way for years yeah

Spot on, the next one says. Nothing needs to be said further here. And that's the other thing. How does she not, like, sorry, but how does she not think that she's being the asshole? The way she writes it out at the very end, she's like, am I the asshole for it? It's like, what? Aren't you spelling it out for yourself? Clearly, clearly.

But that comment is also very interesting because like, okay, if you took out an extra 10K in student loans, student loan rates, like the interest on that shit is high. So yeah, okay, you're paying 10,000 for this horse. But realistically, by the time you pay off that loan, maybe you paid 30,000 for that fucking horse. Like, cause you're paying interest on it. Like, is it worth it? No. Do it when you can afford it. That's so true. Cause she's saying, she's like,

Saying that it makes sense because it's an investment, but it's just like it's not really an investment when you have to. Yeah. However much she has to end up paying for it because of the interest rates. Yeah. Also, this is probably by the sounds of it, her first year of medical school. And there's a lot more after that. There's a lot more. There's a lot more after that. So don't get too comfy yet. Don't get too comfy. Don't get too comfortable. Up next.

My 30 male wife, 32 female, gave away my dinosaur toy. My dad, I don't know if he still does this or not. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but he used to save like, what was it? I think he broke off his entire big toe toenail and he saved it. No. And my stepmom was like, I'm throwing this away. My dad was like, no, you're not. So he hid it.

my god I might be saying this story wrong but it was something along those lines I was younger so like I forget I should ask him next time I see him but that was a whole ordeal of like I remember my stepmom was like your dad needs to get rid of his toenails oh my god that's that's a little disturbing but I guess like I it's not that weird but

It was like parents like save their kids teeth. But my own father saved his own toenail. Yeah. Why did he do that? Now I'm like saying it out loud makes me actually like cringe. Dad, why did you do that? Now that I'm like hearing it more, I'm like, oh, it wasn't that bad. But like now that I hear it a little more, it's like, okay, like a toenail, like toenails grow back. They're not like teeth where like you only get a couple sets.

I don't know. Yeah. Now I'm, I'm really, maybe it was a tooth. Like I know, I feel like there's something I'm missing from this story. Your dad's a dentist. Like he comes in contact with teeth enough. I feel like he wouldn't, he wouldn't like save that that much. Like I think the toenail, I think you're probably, probably right.

Oh, I need to ask him after this. But anyway, sorry. So the dinosaur, toy dinosaur. His wife threw away his toy dinosaur. Me and my wife have been married for six years. We have known each other for 16-ish years. I have had my toy dinosaur for 29 or 28 years. My grandpa gave it to me when I was a baby. My grandpa has sadly died.

Also...

I should have started this story, like, take a shot every time he says toy dinosaur.

My wife and I got into an argument because I didn't make food for her because I was tired after taking care of our kids. She got really angry and went to our bedroom and left. I keep my toy dinosaur in my bedroom. It's on the top shelf so my kids don't take it. When my wife came home, she brought burgers and had the biggest grin. She said to me, quote, I got rid of that stupid fucking toy dinosaur.

I then ran upstairs and saw that it wasn't on the shelf. I looked everywhere in our room because she could have hit it, and I looked in her car. It was nowhere. I started crying a lot, and I went into our bathroom and cried there for 10 minutes. My wife came, and I asked what she did with my dinosaur. She said she gave it to a homeless shelter.

My wife told me how it's, quote,

This happened a few hours ago, and I've been crying because this toy dinosaur means so much to me. She went to her friend's house, and she has been texting me and calling me saying how I'm overreacting. I want to know what I should tell my kids because I've been crying, and they have asked me why I'm crying. I also want to know what I should do about my wife. Do I let her come back home? Do I forgive her? That's so mean. Yeah.

so fucking malicious. That's so fucking mean. So fucked. Like any... Again, even with my dad and his toenail, it's just like...

That is a stretch. But if someone has sentimental value to anything, anything that isn't harming someone else, you know? Yeah. I mean, it's like if someone – like if my dad were to be displaying it above their bed, that would be different. But if he keeps it in a little chest or whatever and just doesn't and that's his thing, then who cares? It's weird. But at the end of the day, if it's something that's a sentimental value to someone, who are you to throw that away? So –

And this sounds like it goes way back for him. Whereas like my dad's toenail probably like wasn't actually a big deal. It was probably just funny. His whole life. But this is like. He's had this thing his whole life. Yeah. And it's from a grandparent who has now passed. So fucking mean. Yeah. What really fucks with me too is the fact that they've known each other for 16 years over half of his life. And she still did this.

What a bitch. Like, that is so mean. I hope that she's lying because that's, like, fucked up. And even if she was lying, that's still fucked up because she watched him cry for, like... Hours? Yeah. And then to lie to him, like, after she saw the reaction? That's so mean. I guess... Ugh, I don't know. I mean, I think that...

obviously he could forgive her, but if this is what she does in other aspects of their life, then that's not okay. And if she can't realize why what she did was wrong, that also is a huge red flag. Big fucking red flag. I think it's really fucked too because he was like, she got mad, and this whole thing is all over the fact that she got mad that I wouldn't make her dinner after I got done taking care of the kids. He sounds like... Abused. Abused. Yeah. Very...

Very manipulated, very gaslit. Yeah. I just, well, I just think that no matter what the fight was like, and that's the thing too, is that even if, even if let's say he cheated on her, which is one of the worst betrayals you can do in a committed relationship. Um,

It's still malicious to go and take something that is so rooted, like that he puts so much sentimental value in and throw that away. Like that is still malicious no matter what the argument was. To deliberately hurt him that way. Yeah. It's like, I mean, I don't know. I just think that's so mean because she knew what it meant to him. So it doesn't matter that it's a stupid toy dinosaur because to him it's... It's everything. Yeah. I agree. When I read the part where he was like...

I want to know what I should tell my kids because I've been crying and they asked me why I've been crying. Mom's a heartless bitch. Just kidding. I have something similar. You can't say that to your kids. No, no, no. But I have something similar where it's like, well, me and your mom are getting a divorce because this would be like relationship ending for me. Like granted, okay, some people are going to look at it like, oh, it's just a toy dinosaur. But this is like something he's had forever. It's a sentimental piece from his grandparents. Like,

Picture, and I have a stuffed animal from when I was born. Like I still have Mr. Lambert. He's a little lamb. Like I have friends that sleep with their stuffed animals from their childhood still. And I look at stuff like that, like pick the most important thing in your life and then have someone who is supposed to be your partner and love you unconditionally, support you, take that thing.

Well, you know, the worst part for me about this story is actually not the initial act of her throwing it away or giving it to whatever goodwill. The worst part is that she's like rolling her eyes and saying, you're overreacting and stop, like stop crying. You're overreacting. I just think when you see someone in so much pain that you love, that's crying, that is literally hurt. And just to completely like devalue that,

how they feel yeah and just make them feel even worse and just like I don't know how can you do that how can you look at someone you love who's crying because of something that was so important to them and just be like you're overreacting like she's still sticking to her guns yeah and that's the worst part for me like if she were to go back and be like oh my god like I I didn't realize it was that big of a deal I'm so sorry let's try to go back and get it and like but no she's just like ugh

Like she sounds so mean. Overreacting. She sounds so mean. So cruel. So cruel. Well, top comment. You could start by trying to figure out which shelter she gave it to, if at all. If she gave it to a shelter, it's possible they haven't tossed it yet and you could get it back. Give them a call and just ask. If it's all been the same day, you may have lots of time to get a hold of the shelter before they inspect it and decide to get rid of it. Get your property and hold your head high, my friend.

Add on, this will help OP keep a calm thinking process and maybe help him feel in control of the situation by having the dinosaur back. And a lot of people suggest the same thing. Like try to find it.

Well, because it's like after that, like you said, you think that this is relationship ending. I think there's still a chance depending on how she acts and other avenues of their relationship. Because I don't think if this is just a one situation, like you don't want to like end like a marriage with the kids and everything like that. But like if she does this to him and all other like avenues of their relationship, then obviously that's just not okay. But at the same token, it's like even if he got it back or even if he didn't, like

Would you even trust her again? Would you even want to tell her if there's something that meant a lot to you because now you don't know if she's going to get mad and throw it away? And that sucks. You don't want to have a relationship where you feel like you can't tell someone this means something to you because they're going to use it against you when they're mad. Yeah, it'd be a malicious bitch. And I think I like, okay, yeah, don't divorce over a toy dinosaur. Like, okay, yeah, the title's petty as fuck. Like, my wife threw away my toy dinosaur.

But she clearly doesn't respect him. She doesn't value his emotions or how he feels. She's trampling over him on like every fucking aspect. Yeah. Psychologically damaging him. Is she going to is, you know, he going to trust again, emotionally damaging him. This is a fuck from all directions. Yeah. Other top comments.

I truly doubt she bothered to find its shelter and that they accepted a used toy in that condition. It's most likely in a dumpster behind the restaurant she picked up food from. One of the other ones, she viciously targeted what would hurt you the most. That's abusive. She needs to find it and bring it back or I'd consider divorce. And it's got like 10 awards, almost 3,000 upvotes. Damn. Yeah. Yeah.

This is so on point. It doesn't matter if it was a toy or a letter. She thought about what would hurt you the most. So true. Exactly. This was calculated. And, okay, go back to the story, too. Remember, she was all smug and smiley? That's literally what the next comment said. Exactly. This was calculated. It's such a red flag that she came home smiling. Yes. Yeah. Okay. We don't know if there's hope for her because...

Retract. Yeah. So up next.

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on personal care items at your local store. Now through August 27th, get extra discounts when you purchase participating items like Dove Beauty Bar, Dove Body Wash, Dove Men Plus Care Body Wash, or deodorant, Dove Shampoo, Trace-A-May Shampoo, and Axe Body Spray. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary.

Visit Safeway.com for more details. Am I the asshole for causing drama during an important football game? Last weekend, I, female 27, ended feeling a wee bit poorly with what turned out to be appendicitis.

We were away for the weekend with my partner, male 39, so I had surgery at a hospital three to four hours away from home. I had a small complication during surgery, so I had to stay until Wednesday, yesterday. But my partner returned to work on Monday, but he came back to pick me up. The timing was bad because there was an important football game yesterday, and it was really important for my partner to watch it. I am not English, so I don't quite...

get the importance but it's a big deal for him and super important I wanted to make sure he'd see the game I suggested booking a room near the hospital so we wouldn't miss it due to the drive but he wanted to see the game at a friend's place he said he'd make it

While we were waiting to get me discharged, he was getting agitated because it was taking so long. He had to wait outside, so he was in the car the whole time because of restrictions at the hospital. After a couple of hours, he sent me a text that he had to leave or he'd miss the game. I begged him not to leave and reminded I could book a hotel, but he left without me and luckily made it on time to see the start of the game. He said he'd come pick me up tomorrow instead.

The hospital wouldn't let me stay over another night or leave alone. Luckily, one of my friends came to get me in the end. She didn't get to the hospital until late and we got back to London around 2 a.m. The whole time I was trying to call and text my partner, but he only said we could talk about it today. The whole evening I was texting and calling my partner ever since the moment he left me at the hospital. He only sent me one what's up back and

I hate him. Bye. Like, bye. Bye.

I think I might be the asshole for not understanding the cultural significance of football and asking my boyfriend to do a completely unreasonable drive to pick me up. But, on the other hand, we could have watched the game in a hotel room and I wouldn't have been left alone in a hospital in another country. Am I the asshole? No. No? And you need to fucking run. Literally. I... A gaslighting bitch. Oh my god. It is so concerning to me. Some of...

I don't want to say it because say it, say it. People are going to be mad about this. But like, I just think it's so concerning with like sports are fun and great and awesome. But when it gets to the point where you are putting that above like actual like human things, it's so concerning because I'm like, first of all, you don't know these people that are playing the sport. You like you. Yeah.

They're like celebrities to him. Yeah, right. They're celebrities. I get that. But like they're not your friends. They don't care about you. And also people switch around in sports all the time. People get traded. You are literally to a logo, to a brand name. You are putting like the people that you love in the back burner to a logo. And so that's why I'm saying I know people are going to get mad at me for saying that because I know sports like are very – there's a lot to it. But like I just think –

I don't know. I think it's really awesome to love sports, but when it gets to the detriment of the people that you love, then I just think it's ridiculous. Yeah. I don't know. I think... You said it really well. He's putting his partner's health and safety, his partner, someone he's supposed to love and care for, above everything.

He's putting football above it. So it's super, super concerning. And the fact he drove eight hours, it was a three to four hour drive away from where they live in London. He drove eight hours round trip for nothing. Like drove there, drove back, left without her. So he'd go catch a fucking football game. Your partner just had major surgery. Like any surgery is major surgery. And she had a complication like, oh, it's just your appendix. Like it's easy, blah, blah, blah. Like, okay. People die from appendix surgery. Any surgery is risky. Yeah.

And dangerous. I would like leave him so fast if I was her. That would be the absolute last straw. Like if you... So fucked up. Yeah, that's... That... No. And the fact that he calls her selfish. What? You are selfish, sir. Like... Yeah. How do you... She's not... She's in the hospital. Like it's not like she's like...

I actually want to watch, I don't know, something else that she really wanted to watch. This is not like The Bachelorette. Yeah, and she's like blowing him up and she's like, fuck you. You should be watching this with me. That would be selfish because it's like, no, he likes The Bachelorette or like he likes his thing more than whatever you're watching, whatever it is. But it's like, no, she's in the fucking hospital and she needs somebody –

To help her leave the hospital. Well, and that's the thing about working in the hospital. As an OT, we're a big part of discharge planning. And someone cannot be discharged from a hospital, like an acute care setting like that. You cannot be discharged without a safe discharge plan. Whether that's someone picking you up or a medical transport to your home where you're then going to have 24-7 support. You can't be discharged without the proper plan. So her...

being ready to go like discharge takes some time the nurse has to process papers you have to have a bowel movement before you can leave like there's certain steps and boxes you have to you know tick but him just leaving her there like

That whole discharge plan is then fucking thrown out the window. And like it puts her in a really, really bad and unsafe position. Yeah. She just had major surgery. I just think it's so crazy how much people will – like again, like I said, I love that people love sports. Like I think that playing sports growing up is an amazing thing to do. I think that watching sports and like – And getting into it with all of your friends is really awesome as well. But fuck this dude. But yeah. But when you – it's just like –

I don't know how true this was because it was just an Instagram little like meme. So you never know. I didn't look it up, but it was basically saying how much domestic abuse increases after the football soccer game with England and Italy. They were posting these and they were saying that domestic abuse increases by X amount of percent after these games. So you just see like you would assume from that. I didn't look into it, like I said, but that some people,

People are going home and hurting their significant other because they're upset because of a game that has nothing to do with that. I mean, obviously people bet money, so like, but whatever. Lives are ruined over sports betting. And you know, alcohol is probably involved and alcohol increases domestic abuse as well. It's just like, it's just a fucking shit show. And it's not the sports fault. It's just that people need to get like their priorities straight. Like get it together, people. I'm blown away.

Top comment, get out of this relationship now. Yeah. You are not the asshole. You're part of the asshole.

partner, however, is a world-class giant asshole. He put a game over you. A game. He wasn't playing in it. He wanted to watch other people play a game, leaving you stranded at a hospital, and then he had the audacity to be mad at you for interrupting his watching a game. Dump him now. You mean nothing to him, and he has proven that. You don't have a partner, you have a monster. Ha ha ha.

I like that ending. But she put it very well and I completely agree with her. I love when you read the comments off and I'm like, yes. Yes. That's exactly what I meant. Go off, sis. Yeah. This comment had like over 150 awards, over 45,000 upvotes. Like, oh, wow. Yeah. Okay. This was a big one. How long ago was this post, by the way? Was it recently? Six days ago. Okay. Today's date is July 14th, 2021. It was six days ago.

So would that have been the Italy and England game? I don't know. Maybe. I mean, London. Yeah, she'd bring up London. I don't know. Footy is a serious game over there. Also, the fact that he didn't answer any of her calls. He literally could have just answered and been like, hey, I'm watching the game. I'm really sorry what I did. I'll call you tomorrow. Or like, I'll see you at home. But granted, he's still a fucking terrible person. I'd still be like... The fact he didn't respond to her at all. Ugh.

I'm trying to see if OP commented at all throughout this. All the comments, she's defending him and she comments a lot. So I'll be sure to share this one. But this one's really fucked up. My friend who picked me up took a train from London, then a taxi to the hospital. Then we took a taxi together to London because she doesn't drive.

This fucker drives. Had a car ready to go for her. This fucker drives. And he fucking made her take a taxi and a fucking, her friend a train. I'm sorry, can we please make merch out of that? This fucker drives. I want to fly to fucking London and fuck this dude up. Like, do you remember that fist you just made? It's the Arthur fist. Yeah. No, but do you remember that fucking movie where, oh,

Oh, God, what one is it? I don't know. But there's a guy and a girl that start hooking up and they go to get revenge on this guy that screwed over their friend. And he gets out of the elevator and she immediately just punches him in the nuts. And he goes, why? And she's like, you know why. And that's what I want to do to this dude. I have no idea what you're talking about, but I will support you. Someone tell me what movie it is. Ugh.

She literally is so like, I'm so sorry, OP, but like you're defending him in the comments is so bad. Like I think most helpful would be answers from English people or people from countries where football is a big deal because I think I not because I think I may not be culturally insulting to my partner. I get like sports as a culture, like to a lot of people, but insulting. No, your partner left you at a fucking hospital after a major surgery. I don't think you can say anything else.

Thank you. I think he may be a little insensitive, but it's just kind of how he is. One of the reasons he says he likes me so much is because I don't give him drama. No, run. And now he feels like I've broken that trust because...

Because I've reacted so badly to this. Even though I knew this game was so important to him. Also, his friends think I am a massive drama queen and that he deserves someone who doesn't give him so much grief. Ew. Fuck him. Fuck his friends. They can literally fuck him. They can have sex. Bye. Bye.

Like, if you're friends, like, if that, I'm sorry, but like. He deserves someone who doesn't give him so much drama. Exactly. Then you deserve your friends. Like, then, like, you guys can hook up and love each other. Like, no, you, when you're in a partnership, you take other people's feelings.

feelings and thoughts and needs and anything into consideration. He's not doing that. No. He's literally manipulating her to make her think that she's only so cool because she doesn't bring drama. So now she feels like she can't have a voice.

So she can't speak up when something's hurting her or bothering her. Yeah. He's like, he's praising her. He's like forming her to not have any opinion. Like to not like speak up. That's what he's doing. Yeah. By being like, he's trying to shape her personality. Yes. Yeah. Spot on.

Here, I'm just going to keep reading some OP comments, you guys, because they're just like my head. I want to bang it against my wall behind me like this, like, like, fuck. He cares in his own way. I was giving him a lot of drama for this while he just wanted to relax and watch a game with his mates.

Which is fair.

You can't be in a relationship and have zero drama. Like, it just doesn't work. That's how, I mean, you can call it something different. It doesn't need to be called drama. This isn't even drama. But that's what I'm saying. Like, that's what I'm saying. It's not even drama. It's just like, you can't be in a relationship and not, like, have, like, sometimes where you kind of, like, come to...

an area where you're like... You're going to have tiffs. Yeah, you have tiffs. You're going to have fights. You don't exactly agree on this or that. So just the fact that she's like, no, no, no, he's really great. He just wants a drama-free life. It's like, well, I get that. A lot of us want a drama-free life. But however, you also have to be able to be there, be open-minded, and hear your partner. And if you think that is drama by listening to your partner's concerns and needs...

then you shouldn't be in a relationship and you should be single and that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. You should just be single. You can't make her feel... I get it. I know that I'm being all aggressive and freaking out over this and I do get it that it was an important game to him and that he was like, why can't you figure out someone else to get you like you're okay, you're safe. There's always going to be an important game though. Yeah. There's like, I get, oh, it's a fucking rivalry game.

Derby Ziga. Like I get it. I really do get it. I love sports. I'm big into stuff like that. Like Vikings Packers. I'm fucking there. I'm invested. But if Justin was like in the hospital and needed me to pick him up, I would do that if I had a fucking game. I would do that if I had a friend's wedding. Like my partner is what comes first. Like that's my partner. That's supposed to be who I'm going through life with.

There's always going to be another important game. Okay, well, actually, that's a good point. So let's switch it, though. What if it was my wedding and you were in it and Justin asked you to pick him up from the hospital? I would really try to time crunch and coordinate things well. Lauren, let's walk her down the aisle a little bit earlier because then I got to bolt to the hospital. But I mean, I think the fact that...

I think the fact that he was already there and then left is what really, really pused me to. And well, I think the part that bothered me is that she was like, we could have watched it together. Like she wasn't just like, fuck the game. I'm turning it off. Like she was just like, yeah, she was like trying to accommodate him. I'm so mad. I had a lot of caffeine today too because I'm kind of like wild and feisty. I know this is probably the feistiest I've ever been.

This comment too, we are not married, but hopefully one day. I hope the fuck not. I'm sorry, OP. Like I'm really going at you, but like, I feel like you've been gaslit a little bit to the point where you're just not seen that you deserve better. Yeah. But I mean, I, like I, I do, I can see the other side of it. Like I do understand like

If this is something that's so important, like if this if he looked at this the same way that you would look at my wedding day, then it's like, yeah, that is kind of difficult. But I don't think he handled anything well by being like, you're dramatic. Yeah.

You're overreacting. Also, like, football game, wedding, like, in my eyes, they're different. Right, but, like, I'm just saying, I'm putting it in perspective. For example. Like, if that's how he looked at this, you know, if that's how important it was to him. And, you know, like we were saying in the last one, whatever people really put their sentimental value and importance into, it's like... That's their decision. Yeah. So it's like maybe that really was...

at that level of like his best friend's wedding. Yeah. So, you know, I can like sympathize a little bit, but I just don't think that he treated her well by being like, you bring drama into my life. And like, the only reason I like to use, cause you didn't bring drama. So like, what's going on? Like stop having an opinion, which, Hey, there is quite a bit of an age gap here. And he probably went for someone younger that he could manipulate based on this. There's always the chance, always the chance. Two more comments that really pissed me off.

He wasn't angry that I had appendicitis, but I texted him maybe eight times. And that evening I tried to call him even more as I was really upset. To be clear, I wasn't angry because I understood it was an important game, but I was sad and crying. And I even left some voicemails and they made him feel awkward as he listened to some when his friends were there and they could all hear I was crying. It wasn't fair on him. He would have picked me up just on another time. And then he

There's she responds so much you guys I can't emphasize that enough. So like i'll post the link on the youtube for sure um Another one we have always valued having a drama free relationship His ex-wife was really jealous with him and he felt caged in And he often tells me how much he values that I don't do that to him Now he says I acted exactly like she did all he wanted to do was watch a game and he says it drove me quote fucking batshit

Wow. Comparing her to the ex, that's low. That's low. Low. Yeah. Just so, so many. I just can't get over the fact that she really doesn't see the issues and just continues to defend him. It's just like, and I get being in love and having those blinders on and your partner does something really shitty to you. And I feel like-

I feel, you know, what I think is probably happening is that when she first wrote this post, she was feeling so down and so sad. But she also wanted people to be like, no, like, don't feel bad. Like, you know, it's really an important thing. It's going to be okay. And then when she got all the answers being like, leave him, she's just like, wait, no, no, no, no, but he's a really good guy. Yeah. You know, so I almost feel like she was looking for an answer for people to tell her that she was like, that she was crazy for being hurt.

She wanted to hear you're overreacting. Yeah, exactly. And then when she didn't hear, no, you're not overreacting. Then she's like, let me paint more color to this. She tried to fix it. And there was absolutely no fixing this one. Like, this dude sucks.

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on personal care items at your local store. Now through August 27th, get extra discounts when you purchase participating items like Dove Beauty Bar, Dove Body Wash, Dove Men Plus Care Body Wash, or deodorant, Dove Shampoo, Trace-A-May Shampoo, and Axe Body Spray. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary.

Visit Safeway.com for more details. So, boyfriend is insanely jealous. Deleted my characters and threw my PC in the trash. Advice, 25 female, 25 male. Characters.

like gaming characters oh we have been dating for a year recently he lost his job and his brother died due to covid and he hasn't been doing too well mentally i've been playing an mmo a lot and i really love taking the time to customize my characters i prefer playing as male characters and my boyfriend recently noticed this him oh i notice you only make male characters me yeah i like playing as male it's different him why do they all look like that though

Why do you customize them to all look like that? Me. I just pick whatever I personally like. Ooh, that cut him deep. Me. I just pick whatever I personally like. Him. Oh, so this is what you like? That's what I was saying. That's what I was saying.

That's going to cut an extremely jealous boyfriend deep. These guys look nothing like me. They look more like your exes than me. Be honest. You fucking hate how I look. Oh, wow. Of course, I denied this and told him I love him for who he is and how he looks because it's fucking ridiculous.

Wow, what? What?

I take my computer out, sanitize it. Okay, it was safe though. Not broken. Okay, that's good. And upon logging into my game, I see all my characters deleted. I'm beyond angry. I spent so much time creating those characters and I feel totally disrespected. I know he's been going through hard times, but I still find this crazy. I haven't said anything to him yet. How should I approach it? I mean, it's definitely a little crazy and a little aggressively jealous, but

So jealous and insecure. This is a fake gaming character. Yeah. I'm just trying to think that if Jeff played video games and created characters and every single one that he created was like six foot tall, blonde, skinny with big boobs...

And then I'd be like, wait, why do you keep doing that? You know, like I could see myself being like, that's kind of weird because I don't look anything like that. And like, why is that your go to character that you create? Yeah. So I could see myself having like kind of question marks. Like, why are you doing that? But like he absolutely took it to another level. Justin does have female characters. Like he plays Call of Duty and this other character.

like game those bitches in ancient greece but like no this was not a thought that ever crossed my mind i was never like oh why do you play as female characters like the female characters sometimes have badder weapons they have more skills or like depending on the game like each character in real life too yeah so i'm just like i'm just like i never this is like not a thought that's ever crossed my mind like to be jealous of a fucking fictional gaming character yeah

Yeah. Like this character in the game is not going to fuck him. Right. He definitely took it too far. But like I said. It's not like she's jerking off to these characters. Well, maybe he thinks that she is. True. You know, like who knows what he's thinking. Because maybe he jerks off to his. Yeah. Exactly. Okay. Okay. That's another. That's another. If it's, you know, if that's actually a thing. Yeah. I mean, it's. Just kidding. I'm not going to confirm. Okay.

But no, now I'm really curious like why – I don't know. It's just not something that crossed my mind before. Like I don't know. I used to play like this one online horse game.

Of course you did. Of course I did. It was called like Equiverse and then there was another one called Horseland. Like before it turned into a show, it was an online gaming platform where you'd like breed horses, train them, make their characters, blah, blah, blah. Did you ever play Farmville? No. But I get the importance of like investing in your characters because like I was like an original owner on this Equiverse game. And so like my horse –

was like super important and worth a lot of fucking money in this fucking game. So like to have someone just delete your character that you've put so much time and energy and like potentially money in because like sometimes you have to pay for upgrades and whatever. Like,

That's so terrible. Yeah, that's mean. I think that's what I'm saying. He took it way too far. Like, I could see the initial question mark, especially if they actually have similarities more to her ex than him. I could see him being like, why do they all look like that? And it looks like your ex, if that's true. But he took it too far. He took it too far. Way too far. Top comment.

Put in a service ticket with the company that runs the MMO. Tell them your account was compromised and your characters were deleted. They can probably restore everything. Oh. Oh, you meant how should you approach the situation with your boyfriend? Yeah, dump his crazy ass. I would. I think... And here's where, like, what he did has different levels to it. Okay, deleting the characters...

He's hurt. He feels threatened. He doesn't feel confident in the way he looks. He's hurting. Okay, deleting the characters. Okay. Not the worst, but the bad. In the trash can. Throwing her computer in the trash can. Last time I bought a computer, it wasn't cheap. Yeah. I wonder if he just did that...

To make a statement. But what if someone would have poured like a liquid in the trash? Like what if someone would have. Wasn't it just her trash can though and it was like right on top? It sounds like it was outside. So I don't. She doesn't mention where she lives or what you know the trash can really is. But if it was a shared trash can like that's really fucked up. Yeah. I agree. Final note for the video game story. We took a little break and got some more wine. Took a you know a bathroom break whatever. We asked Justin about his female characters. Yeah.

So if you tune in on the YouTube, you'll see a video of Justin responding why he has female characters and me feeling very dumb and silly. Okay, so up next, would I be petty if I, 21 female, gave nothing to my boyfriend, 21 male, for his birthday after he gave me nothing for mine?

As the title said, my birthday was June 19th, and my boyfriend hasn't gotten me a gift yet. At first, it was because he, quote, hadn't found the right gift. Now, it's about money. I'm not exactly spoiled. A $10 book would have done the trick. A snack. Well, first of all, she's a Gemini, so that's not true. Just kidding. Gone. A snack, a little card or something. It's not about the gift. It's about the lack of effort, to be honest.

For sure. Why would a Gemini... Why would a Gemini want a gift? No, but like what did you mean by the Gemini comment? I was saying that it's not true. She wants like something extravagant. Oh. Yeah, that's me. That's me as a Pisces. I'm just annoying. Your love language is for sure gifts. Yeah. And so gifts and like quality time. And so like I just...

I just really appreciate presents. But I'm like kind of in the boat with her where it's like just anything, like a little book. Just the thought that counts. The thought that counts. Flowers. Flowers and a car. But back to this thing. Now, July 20th is going to be his birthday. Would it be petty if I showed up with nothing?

One side of me thinks that I should give him something because I want to, not because I expect something in return. But I don't know. The lack of effort makes me pretty sad. We've been together for four plus years. This has never happened before. Yeah, that hurts. That hurts. Which I get like, what did he say? Oh, he hasn't found the right gift. Like that was his excuse at first. And then he goes, she goes, now it's about money, which COVID has hit everyone really hard. Like,

my family included so I get it if you don't have money to like buy a gift but you could have made like a homemade card or like something but if it is truly about the money and like he's feeling embarrassed about it and something like that like I get it but

But at least just like still do something to just show like an exchange of that you're thinking of them outside of just when they're in front of you. Yeah. You know, because I think that's what it is. I think that's where the love language is. For some reason, like the whole idea of like gifts as a love language almost just seems like, oh, that's materialistic. No, I don't think it is at all. It's the fact that you are on your own terms thinking about someone.

And so you were actively getting something because you're thinking about them when you're not with them. Hit the nail on the head. Yeah. This reminded me of you. I got it for you. As big or small as it is. It's a little succulent. It costs a dollar. Yeah. But like I thought of you when I saw it. Yeah. When I wasn't with you, I was thinking of you. Exactly what it is. I put in this amount of effort, like any amount, like I put in effort to go and get you this. Yeah. When I wasn't in front of you, I was thinking about you. Yeah. Yeah. I hit the nail on the head.

Yeah, I personally, I would still, I would do a card. I'd be like, happy birthday. Love you. Like, you've been together four years. Yeah. And like,

Fighting pettiness with pettiness. It isn't petty if it's truly about money. If he's just doing this because he doesn't care for her. Yeah, but it doesn't need to cost money. It doesn't need to cost money. You can literally find a flower outside and I think that's what she's saying. Yeah. But her not getting him a gift in almost retaliation. When is his birthday? July 20th. So almost a month apart. He's a cancer. Yeah.

Again, no idea. Actually, that might be Leo. I'm just figuring it all out. No, I don't think that's Leo. It's cancer still? Leo's later in July because it goes late in August. Oh, you're right because my stepmom is a Leo and she's July 25th. Yeah. Well, Justin's Leo and he's August 20th. Okay. So we still don't know. Someone else will. We'll get corrected. It's fine. Yeah. So top comment. Just say you thought y'all weren't doing gifts this year.

Another one, although this sounds pretty good as a comeback, I feel as if the response will just cause a lot of issues in the relationship in the long run and probably won't work out. And I agree. Yeah. I get like fighting petty with petty. Okay, fine. Maybe you'll win in the short term. But like who? No, no one's winning for the sake of your relationship. Like whatever reason he didn't find something, he couldn't afford it. You know, whatever it is.

You still care for this person. You've been together for four years. Just get him a card. What I would honestly do is I would ask him if we could talk for a little bit and just be like, honestly, your birthday's coming up and...

And my first reaction is that I want to get you a present. And then my second reaction is that I'm kind of bitter that you didn't get me anything, even the smallest thing. I understand the money issues, but that you didn't get me something just to show me that you were thinking about me and that you wanted to make me feel special on my birthday. And so...

I have this like urge to not get you anything because I'm upset by that. And I just want to talk through those feelings with you because I don't want to feel like that. I don't want to fight petty with petty. Like I want us to be good. I want us to be happy. But like these are the thoughts going through my head. So I just want to have an open like dialogue with you. Look at you in that open, healthy communication. Yeah.

I love it. Well, because if you think about it, if she doesn't get him a gift, what is that doing? Yeah. Then it's just like, it's like, okay, does that make your relationship better? No. And if it doesn't make your relationship better, then are you going to be happier? No. So like there's, it's not even like, who is it helping? You know what I mean? No one. No one wins. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, you said it really well there, which this next comment actually says something similar. Yeah.

which would be amazingly telling. Either way, he needs to know that forgetting your birthday hurt your feelings. Yeah, agreed. And you said, you literally said the same thing. I think it's honestly the spot on response. Like, talk to him. Yeah, you would be petty if you didn't get him something. So, you know, for the sake of your relationship and

being an adult in a happy, healthy relationship, you do need to address it. Like as silly as that might make you feel. And at the end of the day, like those are your feelings and you're entitled to your feelings. And so again, partnership, like

you should be able to openly talk to your partner about your feelings and if for some reason you can't and you feel it's not safe to talk to your partner about your feelings or it won't be received well that's a red flag yeah and what helps a lot too is just always asking questions so if she went into it being like why I know I understand the money but you

It doesn't really have to cost a lot of money or anything to be able to get someone just a little gift to show that you're thinking of them. A little something. So I'm just curious, why didn't you do any of those things? Why didn't you get me anything? And then see what his response is. If he's like, honestly, I just felt so insecure and embarrassed that I couldn't get you what I wanted to get you, so I just didn't even want to think about it. Then you have way more closure on the experience that you had. Yeah.

And if he's just kind of like, you know, because I don't give a fuck, bye. And then it's like, okay, well, if that's how you're going to respond to me, like maybe we don't have as strong of a relationship as I thought. Yeah, because at the end of the day, like it is kind of a small issue, but it is like this person said, like it could be very telling. Yeah. And it could be like a bigger reflection on the relationship and their communication. Agreed. Next one? Next one.

You weren't going to do the circus song. I know. You deviated from it. I know. I changed the beat. That's hilarious. Am I the asshole for pretending to be Christian?

To pretend to be any type of religion is a really interesting concept to me. So I'm just curious, you know? So here we go.

Gillette razors, Metamucil, Crest toothpaste, secret body spray, and a Swiffer power mop. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. So I'll jump right into it. My parents were loaning me their car while mine's in the shop. Their car has a sticker on the back window that says, Jesus loves. I'm not Christian, but it's not my car. So c'est la vie.

I don't know how to say that, and I'm sorry if I butchered it. C'est la vie. C'est la vie. There you go. C'est la vie. Well, I was going to the store with my mother, and we just got back into the car when someone knocked on the window. I rolled down the window because I thought I might have dropped something or another. Apparently, this elder couple saw it. When I rolled my window down, they started with the usual jargon. God is good. Jesus saves.

that kind of stuff. Now, like I said, I'm not a Christian, but I don't want to start arguments about this kind of stuff. My personal ideology is you're religious. Good for you. I'm not going to disrespect that unless you disrespect me or my beliefs first.

So I just put on a smile, conversed with them a bit. It was easy since I was raised in a Christian household. Shook their hands with a God bless and left the parking lot. Well, my mother started reaming into me. I don't want to go into the whole conversation, but to sum it up, she essentially said, quote, if I'm not a man of faith, I shouldn't act like one. It's disrespectful to the faith and you're just lying to them. To say God bless? Yeah.

I kind of understand where she's coming from, but in my eyes, it didn't hurt anyone, right? I mean, what did she expect me to do? Flip them off, say, hail Satan, and speed off? Jesus. I feel like that would have been more disrespectful. I think it's the fact- That's a petty sentence. I just think that might have been a little bit more disrespectful. Yeah. I don't think he really, it sounds like he just said, God bless, but like conversed with them for a little bit. I'm sure they were like, oh.

Like they said, what did they say first? Like, God bless. Like Jesus saves. Like they kind of went in on it like really deep versus being like nice bumper sticker. Because that's how this all started. It was over a bumper sticker. And so they kind of went in and I wouldn't.

like correct them like oh I'm not religious yeah I don't think it's a big deal I don't think it's a big deal at all like who is this gonna hurt her mom the mom yeah like oh you're lying so like the mom's really religious then or yeah it's the family it's the parents car so it sounds like she's just bitter because she wants her daughter to be more aligned and so when she sees her daughter doing that she's just like well don't act like that if you're not gonna like be on my page yeah don't you think yeah and I don't

They never mention what they are. Oh. Like, no genders, no ages or anything. But, like, yeah, I think you're kind of probably spot on where, like, my mom is very, like, oh, you need to be saved because it's kind of the same boat. Like, I grew up in a very, like, Christian household, but, like, my dad is Jewish and I feel like I align closer with that. And so I feel like I have a Jewish soul and will, like, pursue whatever conversion looks like down the road when I get to it. So I get that.

And it's probably – you probably are spot on where the mom is like very offended. Like, you shouldn't be lying. And like if you don't believe, like you're disrespecting the faith. The mom probably feels like they're making light of it or making fun of it with these people. Yeah, that's probably true. I kind of sympathize. I mean, I didn't lie and none of us did. But so I grew up Christian and –

I'm not Jewish. I think it's an awesome faith. I love that I've learned so much more about Judaism, especially through you and your dad. And they've taken me to temples and it's really cool. But I am not Jewish. So when me, Alejandra, and our other roommate, Sarah, we moved into our new unit, everyone in our neighborhood – well, not everyone, but there's a lot of people that are – You live in a very Jewish neighborhood. Jewish neighborhood. Very Jewish. People in our unit specifically, they're –

They were so excited. We're moving in and they were like, you girls should come over and have wine with us and like, la, la, la, whatever. And then they're like, are you girls Jewish? And we just all said to each other afterwards, we were like, we obviously didn't lie. We were like, no, but like, it was like we almost because they were so excited. We just wanted to be like, yeah, but we were like, no, no.

just every wish i wish like i just want to like you don't even like you want to like relate you know to the people that you're talking to that you're having a good time to and when they were so excited like oh come and have wine like are you girls jewish yeah so then afterwards when we went we were like no we're not we went back into our apartment and we were like did you guys kind of want to just be like yeah just uh say good travis to him on fridays and yeah you can make up for it yeah you can you can come to my jew activities thank you

Yeah, I think like sometimes what's that little saying where like a little white lie never hurt anyone like sometimes that's not the case. But in this one, like you're never going to see them again. Yeah. As a random encounter in a parking lot, you're going to make more of an ass out of yourself if you say, oh, I'm not religious. Right. Fucking atheist. Yeah. Whatever, whatever your religion or what your beliefs are now.

Top comment on this one? Not the asshole, but I do support the hail Satan approach. Oh, wow. Jesus. That's a top comment. What? Yeah. Who found this post? Like, I'm sure they probably just like all thumbs up it because they thought it was funny. Reddit humor. Yeah, exactly. It's a little dark. Exactly. I feel like it's humor. Hopefully. Jesus Christ.

Well, there is like the Church of Satan, like which is not like Satan the devil. I've never heard of that. Religion is very – it's such an interesting concept and to each their own. I don't like that. Truly to each their own. I think of Sabrina, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, but like the new Netflix series. I remember you saying – I was a little dark. I remember you saying you won't even watch that because she like talks about Satan and stuff. No, that's not why I don't watch it. Oh. It's just dark.

Because of Satan, though. No, just the overall vibe. Because of Satan. Yeah.

I didn't think that was why I didn't like it. Well, I don't know. I watched like a few episodes and after you said that to me. It was just dark. Because it was fun to watch during Halloween. But after you said that to me, then I started getting freaked out every time she would talk about Satan being like her Lord or whatever. And I just like, I couldn't finish it. That's not what got to me. I don't know what got to me. But like just weird movies like The Conjuring. Yeah, fuck that. Like very dark feeling movies. I'm just like not into. I don't want to bring that energy into my life. Yeah. If that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah.

The next top comment, if I'm not a man of faith, I shouldn't act like one. They were like quoting what he said. And they go, hmm, I think your mother is wrong. You are a man of faith. You have faith that people need to mind their own business and not comment on your bumper sticker. Someone else goes, not to mention having faith in just being a decent human being. I feel like they shouldn't be reprimanded. I can't even say the word. You got it. I feel like they shouldn't be reprimanded when they were just trying to be nice. Yeah.

Yeah, they were just trying to be nice, trying to be decent human beings. They weren't like, oh, yeah, I'll meet up with you at church on Sunday. You know, they were just like, God bless. It just wasn't that big of a deal. The mom is making way too big of a deal with this. There's something else going on with the mama. That's what I'm thinking, too. Yeah. On to the next one. I am the asshole for shutting off the movie halfway through and making my boyfriend feel bad.

My boyfriend, Wyatt, and I always watch movies together every time we have off days that end up on the same day, especially since the pandemic.

And we go back and forth on who picks the movie. But I've noticed he's usually talking through my movie choices, either pointing out plot holes or just talking down about the movie in one way or another. I never act this way when it's his turn to pick the movie, even if I don't care for it. Like the last movie he chose, The Fountain. I was confused until halfway through and then bored the rest of the movie. But I didn't talk during the movie or constantly dump on it either.

And even at the end, when he asked what I thought, I said it was all right, even though I thought the movie wasn't good. It tried to do a bunch of different things all at once and ended up doing nothing. But he seemed really fond of it, so I didn't want to hurt his feelings. But he doesn't seem to have that mindset when it comes to him watching my picks.

I've told him to shush and to just watch the movies, but he just sighs loudly and says they're boring. If I tell him to stop, he gets all huffy and goes totally silent and usually takes his phone out to play a game or scroll the internet, totally ignoring me and the movie. It really hurts my feelings. And yesterday was my turn to choose again. And I picked a movie that really hit me hard as a kid. I bawled when I first watched it and still tear up to this day.

and I told him this movie was special to me, but he barely got 10 minutes into it before he started up saying it was boring and childish. It is a kid's movie, but that doesn't make it boring. I was getting upset, and before the big part of the movie even got close, I just couldn't take it anymore. I felt like him acting this way during a super important part would ruin the movie for me, maybe forever. So I just got up and turned it off.

He asked what I was doing and I told him I didn't want to have the movie ruined for me. So it was better off if I just turn it off. He said I was being a baby and to turn it back on. I refused and just told him to pick something to watch instead. Then I sat on the couch. He got mad and said if I was going to be dramatic like this, then he didn't want to watch anything with me and got up and went to his room and slammed the door. That's fine. Bye, bitch.

I completely sympathize with her because it's like when you have something like that that's like touching to you, you don't want to taint it by some negative asshole. You know, like your memories of that are so special and sacred. Like, fuck you. You don't want to like the next time you watch this movie, remember how like the person you loved was being an asshole about it. Yeah. So like, no, I would turn it off too. Like, fuck you. Completely agree. Yeah.

You don't know. Like she said, it hit her really hard as a kid. Yeah. You don't know what she was going through at that time, how this resonates with her, how this has like maybe gotten her through tough life events. You don't know. She goes on to say, this happened the other day and he's been giving me the cold shoulder. And when I asked why, he said he wants an apology for making him feel like dirt. Should I apologize? No. Did I make a huge deal out of just a movie? Am I the asshole? No, not at all. No.

Not at all. Like when someone ruins something that you find enjoyable or special, like I don't understand why people shit on stuff for no good reason. Like, okay, maybe it's not for you, but you don't have to shit on it and ruin it for other people. You're just going out of your way to be callous and mean. Yeah. Why? That doesn't make you any better. Like, I don't know. Like just what the fuck are you trying to do? Like, what are you trying to do? Yeah, I can. I agree. I just think

I completely support her decision. I do not think that it was petty because she was protecting her own... This is a movie that really...

her feel special that brings back amazing memories that like touches her in an amazing way and now this guy who she loves is bringing it down painting it her favorite movie yeah making it making it pointing out things that like could have been better or that are wrong with it and making it like a and like just

just manipulating the whole way that she's my view of the movie. Yeah. And like, hopefully she's, you know, anyone is kind of like can see through that and just be like, well, fuck you. You can have your opinion, but this is mine. And I like this movie, but like, you still don't like, it's just still sucks. You don't want to have that memory attached to something that's so special to you. Yeah. So like, I don't think it was petty for her to turn the movie off. I think absolutely she did what was right because it was like,

He's not enjoying it. He's being annoying about it and not appreciating things that are special to her. Like, it's not about the action. Or it's not about, like, the movie or not. It's about the actual, like, respect he's giving her. And that just wasn't there. No. And there's something to be said, too, about when you like something or...

like watch a certain movie, but then someone points something out, like you can't unsee it. You can't unhear it. Yes, exactly. And that's all you're thinking of. That's what I was, that's every single time. It's like, yeah, I was, I didn't have words for that, but yes, that's well. And what you said, I was like, oh my God, yes. Like this is exactly that because I've had things where it's like, oh, I really like this. Like I thought this looks cute, blah, blah, blah. And then someone points it out. Oh, you look like, you look like fucking Blair Waldorf in that headband. I'm like,

That's a bad example because I like Blair Waldorf. But like one of those things where it's like you just they pointed something out and then it ruined it for you. Like you can't unsee it. Well, OK, so this was an innocent thing, but it annoyed me. But Jeff, when I was on my way over here, I was planning on returning some stuff and I tried on these pants that I was really iffy about.

And so I wanted to see what his thoughts were because I was super iffy. So I was actually like, what do you think about these pants? And I'm FaceTiming him. Those? No, no, no. And he was like, I love them. They're amazing, whatever. And then I have this shirt from like the same place that I was for sure going to keep because I loved the shirt. And I was like, what do you think about the shirt? Yeah.

And one of the questions was like me actually wanted his advice. The other one wanted, I wanted him to validate what I already liked. Do you know what I mean? You phrased it wrong. You should have been like, I love this shirt. Don't you think it's great? I said something like, isn't the shirt cute? And he goes, yeah. You left it too open-ended. Yeah. He goes, yeah. And then I go, you like it? And he goes, yeah. I go, you love it? And he goes,

I like it. Two out of three. Exactly. He got two out of three. And I think it's like I got to be like – I got to give him this because like – He was honest. Yes. He tries to stay very honest with – Yeah. Or he stays very honest with everything. And so even when it's something where I'm like, why don't you just say you loved it? Like I'd rather him be honest just in life than, you know, whatever, than do little white lies. So I appreciate that. But at the same time, then after that, I was like, well –

Do I love this shirt? Like, maybe this does look weird. It makes you have doubts. And I kept looking at it and being like, well, do I want to keep it? And then I'm like, no, I do want to keep it and I like it. I have my own opinions. But, like, because someone I care and love about is looking at this shirt and... You know what I mean? Then I'm like, now I have doubts. And I just...

I just think that there is something to be said with like protecting things that you really care about and being like, if your opinion is so far-fetched from what mine is on like a sentimental video, then like I don't want it because I don't want to change my opinion or see things in it that make me question whatever. Morgan finally got a bug that she's been trying to get. So she's distracting us. No, I was listening though. I think –

If something is super, super important to you and there's a chance that someone's going to ruin it, maybe like, but that's not fair either. You should be able to share what you're happy and obsessed with and in love with like,

It's not fair. So fuck him. Yeah. His reaction to like, oh, I want you to apologize because you made me feel like dirt. And it's like, yeah, she shut the movie off because you were making her feel like dirt. There's a clear miscommunication, but his reaction is kind of a red flag to me. Yeah, I agree. I agree. And I think if. OK, so if he did this with all the movies, then it sounds like he's been doing it with all.

it with all of her choices. No, no, no, but I'm saying with all of movies in general, like, if he was just one of those people... A movie buff. Yeah, then it's like, okay, that's annoying, and, like, even if I was her, like, with that movie, I would still be like, okay, I want to keep this movie sacred, so if you're gonna, like, have, like, comments about it, like, please, like,

Like, let's watch something else because you're kind of ruining it for me right now and I really like this movie. But it sounds like he's only doing it to her choices. Yeah. So it's like now it seems like you're actually criticizing her specifically by doing that. Yeah, especially if he has not one comment about his choices. Exactly. Exactly. So that's why I'm like, I don't know. I think this could be like a potential petty like get over moment they can figure it out. But there's also some question marks like, well –

Who is this guy and why is he acting like he's so much better? Yeah. Like only my movie choices are good. Yeah. Especially The Fountain. I'm going to have to look at what The Fountain's about. Same. Top comment. Not the asshole. Major red flags I see and he definitely is the a-hole and owes you the apology. Next one goes, I just love how he throws a temper tantrum about her being too dramatic and

You calmly explained he was ruining it for you. And in his attempt to tell you how you're overdramatic, he acts like a toddler. So true. Hypocrisy like that makes me laugh. And I would have probably done so in front of him. You won't fix or change anything. Just make yourself tired in the end.

And someone goes, he reminds me of the guy that yelled at me for being a drama queen and putting on a little scene for everyone when I talked calmly and he turned red and pounded the table. But you know us women, always full of drama. I saw on TikTok, I think a lot of people have been saying this, so it's probably common, but there's been this trend where they're like,

If he tells you that you're too much, tell him to go find someone that will give him less. I love that. I absolutely love that. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, that's similar to the saying like if you can't handle me at my blah, you don't deserve me at my best or whatever. Other comment that I really like.

Not the asshole. I dated someone like this one time. And you know what ended up happening? We ended up only watching the movies he wanted. And it wasn't just with movies. The dude never, ever wanted to do anything he didn't want to do 100%. And if you are with a partner, you have to compromise sometimes. So basically, it just ended up me always doing whatever he wanted.

whether it was picking a restaurant to eat or going on a walk. So glad that relationship ending, not saying you have to do the same, but the sounds like a personality flaw in your boyfriend that might be difficult, if not impossible to change. And at any rate, it's not your job to change him. Yeah. She nailed that one because that's exactly what I was saying. Like if this could be just a petty situation where like, it's just like blah, blah, blah, whatever, random movie stuff. But like, this sounds like it's a

It's like built into his personality. Yes. By the way that, I don't know, but who knows? I know. It'd be interesting to hear how it comes out to play in other situations. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well. Is that it? Are we done? It's over? I do have one more. Okay. But it might get a little deep divey. So I think we send it over to a deep dive on the Patreon. Okay. So as far as the regular episode goes, we are done. We did it. We did it.

I'm so glad you're back. I'm back. We're here. Reunited at the desk. You should know something, though. I am leaving for a week. What the fuck? On Wednesday. Why did you do that to me? I know. I was so excited. We were in the same place. I know. Why? I don't know. Where are you going? Arizona. Yeah. Well, and Minnesota, too, actually. Oh, my God. This is terrible news. I'm just kidding. But thanks for joining us, you guys, on this episode of Two Hot Takes.

We hope these problems, they weren't petty. They were worse than petty. Agreed. We might have to change the whole title. No, because I think from the very start, that's what I said. A lot of times petty occurrences, like petty. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like it actually, it's an iceberg. A lot of them were deal breakers. Yeah. Oh, I kind of like that though. Petty problems. Petty problems. They're an iceberg. They're an iceberg. There's the title. Yeah.

There's the title. Until next time. Until next time. Bye, guys. Bye.

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