6: Cheating or Nah? Hard to Tell With Gaslighting
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Are you ready to go today? Yeah, let's fucking do it. Let's wrap up. I told you the topics that I was thinking about pitching to you and I said cheaters and you jumped. I jumped. I stretched. I was like, I've been waiting fucking years for this. Put me in coach. Put me in the game coach. I've been warming up and I am fucking ready to talk some truth. Oh my gosh.

Today, you guys, you have the pleasure of having one of my best friends, Miss Alejandra Nagel. Hey, guys. Join on this episode of Two Hot Takes. Alejandra and I have been friends since like, I don't know, 2014, something, six years. 2014, 2015. Yeah, yeah. It's been a minute. We've been through some good times. Yeah, some rough times. Yeah.

Yelling at each other in Ubers, but... Oh, shit. You know, loving each other at the end of the day. Exactly. We're still here. Still here. Still here. Good times, too. God, this girl... This girl... We just celebrated my 27th birthday, but I think it was my 23rd. She got me on stage at, like, this pre-Coachella concert, and Snoop Dogg was the headliner. Like, it was actually a pretty big deal. Yeah. And, like, she...

scoped us some tickets from the owner of like the Indio Polo Ground and literally like got us on stage. And I was like three feet away from Snoop Dogg, like in the back alley. Like it was, it was insane. We've been through it. We've been through it. We've been through it. But way more good times. So when I met Morgan, it was at WeFest. And if you are from Minnesota, then you know what the fuck WeFest is. And if you're not from Minnesota, then Google it. WeFest is like the country festival. Yeah.

It's like stagecoach, but like... It's like the Walmart of stagecoach. But I think it's 10 times more fun. It's crazy. It's like insane. It's a shit show in the best way. Maybe we should go back. Just say when. Post-COVID, let's do it. I will fucking go back. Let's go. But it is a humbling experience. And when I met Morgan, Morgan had the luxury of staying in a camper. And I was in a fucking tent, like a peasant. And I was introduced to Morgan. That's actually the first time we met. I don't know if you know that. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I remember. Like the very first time. My camper slash truck was like the charging port. That's 100% accurate. Everyone used to come to my truck and like charge their phones. Yeah. Because at WeFast, like I said, humbling experience, no electricity, you don't have an outlet. So I was like, I have to charge my phone. So somehow I get connected to Morgan and her...

fucking palace, which is a camper. It was not a palace, you guys. It's a palace. Like someone shit in my camper's toilet, which you weren't supposed to do. So the next couple of days of this music festival, we had to deal with...

Like a fucking just shit storm in our toilet. And that's probably the least of the worries because to me, that's how bad we fast is. We fast is terrible. Like people flipped over the porta potties while you were in there. I forgot. Yeah. Maybe we don't want to go back. Well, anyway, I meet Morgan. Morgan is pitching a horse trailer or she's pitching a truck to a camper. Yeah. She's pitching a truck to a camper, which Morgan is five, three, five, two and a half, five, two. Okay. On a good day.

And she's wearing like her wedges and she's pitching a failure to a camper. And I'm like, this bitch, I don't even know her, but I fuck with her. And so here we are. Here we are. It was like seven, eight years ago now. Oh my God. That was early. That was like 2013. Yeah, for sure. So yeah, we are, we're almost, we're almost eight years.

Happy eight years. Look at us. Happy eight years. But we're here to talk cheaters and all the things. So buckle the fuck up. Yeah. Buckle the fuck up. Our personal experience is about to just pop this topic off. We've been hurt once or twice and it shows. Yeah. But we're better, not bitter. Exactly.

Zach. Retweet. I remember that being one of my Instagram captions after a bad breakup. I probably tweeted that like more than once. If you follow me on Instagram, I'm sure it's still there. I'm going to bury that when I get home. Archive it. Okay, but let's dive in. All right, let's do it. Let's talk cheaters. Back to the cheaters. Back to the cheaters. My boyfriend shares our lube with his best friend.

Why? I don't know because lube is not expensive. No. At all. You can even go and buy my go-to favorite, coconut oil. I knew you were going to say that. For like eight bucks. You get a big jar and it can last you a year. Yeah. Depending on how much you like. It's dual use. You can cook with it. Exactly. There's a lot of things. It's the best of both worlds. Yeah. It really is.

So the fact that you're sharing lube with someone. Just right off the bat, why? Why? Why? Like, you don't know where your friend is. Do we have ages? Where he's been. We do have ages. Okay, let's figure it out. So today, I, 25 female, was looking for my boyfriend's 27 male's headphones.

Okay.

but forgot to give it to him. Changing his story real fast. So not only are you sharing lube, but you're actually acting as like door dashers for each other and you're bringing it to each other? Yeah. Like, hey, Morgan, I need the lube tonight. A little fishy. Like, why? It would be more convenient for the friend to just run to a CVS, Walgreens, Rite Aid. Yeah. They're on every corner. Yes. 7-Eleven has lube. Yeah, whoa. Every gas station has lube. Okay, so she...

This one's just really weird for a lot of reasons because even if he's cheating, like, first of all, why does he have a backpack? Second of all, at 27. Second of all, like, he's like loading up his backpack and like he's putting lube in the backpack to go cheat on her. That seems so like...

Maybe she'll get to it, but I just don't understand why you would ever share something that's so cheap with your friend and like a sexual thing. Like that's like, I don't want to say it's like sharing a condom, but kind of is like, it's a sexual thing or like sharing a sex toy. Like, yeah, it's like you're using that with your partner and who knows who your friend's sleeping with. Like granted, you probably do know, but like, where's that person been? It's the convenience for me. Like, like this,

They're making it harder than it needs to be. It's making it so much harder than it needs to be. Because most of the times, not most, but like an impromptu fuck at two in the morning, you're telling me that you'd rather text your buddy to bring you your shared bottle of lube instead of just running to CVS, door dashing CVS, whatever. Yeah, why? And getting lube. It reminds me of McLovin from Superman. Oh my God. Like, why would you share lube? That just...

It doesn't make any sense. If he's not cheating, we've got other issues. We've got other problems because I just, the sharing of lube is enough. Yeah. No, I think the fact that he's changing his story real fast though, like definitely cheating. Oh, um, I put it in my backpack because I was cleaning the living room. Why was the lube in the living room?

Did you guys fuck there? If so, okay. Maybe. Maybe it adds up then. Yeah. But otherwise, not so much. But poop, like you're cleaning up, you put it in your backpack? What? No, you just walk it back to your bedside drawer or wherever you keep it. Yeah. Why would you just put it in your backpack? Yeah, I don't clean up my room and be like, oh, let me put this sex toy in my purse. Yeah. No. Fishy. For what? Fishy. My next sex adventure, that's for what? Yeah. Yeah.

So she goes on to say he lied because I've gotten upset at the first time over a year ago that he gave his friend lube.

Girl, girl, girl, girl. So, all right. Just keep it coming. I didn't really get upset. I was just confused and weirded out that they share lube. Yes. Yeah. Rightfully so. Thank God. You see the light. It's weird. This is not normal. Like don't share lube with your friends. Super weird. Yeah. It's just like on. At 25 and 27. It's not expensive. Like I just, there's something off here. Yeah. My first thought was that they were using it together. Yeah.

Oh, I didn't think about that one. Like a threesome. Or he's just cheating with his friend. Like he's gay. Yeah. That would be such a plot twist. That would be.

This time, apparently his friend, his friend's girlfriend, and my boyfriend were having a convo about anal sex, and he suggested that they try our lube. And apparently, he wasn't going to let them keep it because it's too expensive. I'm so confused, grossed out, and weirded out. I don't know whether to believe him. I can't help but think that he took the lube to use it with someone else.

Yeah, no, I think he totally took it to use it with someone else. No matter how expensive the lube is, especially if they're doing anal sex, what are you going to do? Let them squeeze the lube out on their hands, use it, rub it all over her butt.

like his dick that's going in her butt, like E. coli, one. Yeah. First of all, we're in a panty. Yeah. And then what if they need more? Like you're letting her let poop hands then touch your expensive lube again? Okay. So she said it's expensive. Did I hear that right? Okay. So why, first of all, if I'm her, I'm Googling this lube. I'm figuring out just how fucking expensive it is.

Because if anything less than a hundred fucking dollars and it's not laced with gold, then I don't understand what the deal is. Yeah. Honestly, if I give you my lube and you use it, I don't want it back. It's yours. No. Happy birthday. I don't need that. Exactly. But if you really want your friend to try this, order him some for a present. And if it's expensive and you're worried about it, just say, no, man, you get your own lube.

Try this. It's going to be great. What? You'll love it. No. It's tried and tested. I've never heard of any woman like this. Lube is so incredible and it's so expensive that I need you to just borrow it. No. No. I do have like, so when I was trying to turn everyone on to the coconut oil. Yeah, I remember that. We were out one night in Manhattan Beach. I remember that. Oh my God.

Oh my God. I was, when you said that, I flashed back to that bar. I couldn't tell you the name in Manhattan beach. We're like in a booth. Yeah. Yes. I don't even remember who we were with, but you could probably refresh. Yeah. I was like me, you, Sarah and Lauren. Sure. But guys, we were with God. Oh, that guy. Okay. Okay. Not my bread. No. Other one. So we like went back to his place cause we were all like super hungry and they had just made chili or something. So we like went back to his place to get chili. Really? Really? That is not right.

And so like... On brand, but not ringing you bell. And so we're like, we're like going back to get this chili. And like, it was a short walk because Manhattan Beach, California is very like beach town small. You can walk to all the bars, whatever. And so... Pretty panty. I was like talking to Sarah and I was like, yeah, like, oh, like if you hook up with that guy later, like blah, blah, blah. Like if I hook up with someone later, like I'm going to use coconut oil. And she's like, coconut oil? What? And I was like, yeah, no, like try it. It's amazing. She's like...

I'm good. So I literally go and grab coconut oil out of his kitchen cupboard. Yeah. And I like start slathering it on Sarah's arm. Can I revise the story though? Cause for some reason I thought you did this at the bar.

No. Really? No, this was at his house. At his house. Hmm. Okay. Go on. Yeah. But I don't even know if you came with to get chili. That's where I think you lost me. I think we went- And I think I stayed behind. Really quick to get chili. And then I think we went back to the bar. I think you did. It was just like a quick little snack break. It was a quick chili run. Yeah. Nothing to see here. No. Quick chili run. And we were like back. And I think Neganee and Sarah walked in and we were just like-

Yes. I remember some weird shit happening. Like you guys left for whatever reason. Chili. For chili. That's why I don't remember the chili. I was like, I'm a chili fanatic and I think I would remember a chili run. Yeah. It was beef though.

You're right. I'm out. Maybe that's why I stayed back. I was like, I think it is. You weren't interested in the, in the beef. You lost me. Yeah. Um, okay. Yes, I do remember this night and you sold her on the idea. I actually sold her. She uses it for, to this day, her sexual adventures to this day. Yeah. And so it's like, I love the coconut oil, but,

I wouldn't give someone my bedside jar. Yeah. You would, if anything, go buy them a jar. Yeah. Put a little bow on it. Here you go. Really want you to try this. I know you're not going to go buy it yourself. Here's some coconut oil. However, I understand this is an expensive lube and you don't want to just buy them a bottle of it because they may not even like it. But really, like how much is the most expensive lube? How good is this fucking lube? Yeah. I'm starting to get mad that they're so obsessed with lube. Like just have good sex and you don't need it. I'm going to disagree with that.

I'm going to disagree with that. Because you love lube. I think good lube heightens the experience. One. Also, you've had a few drinks and you're a little dehydrated. Yeah. You don't got to whop some days. Can't relate. Just kidding. You know, it just... I'm not kidding. I just, I don't know. Old age has gotten to me. I don't know. You're not old, first of all. She's literally turned 27 two days ago. And third...

Okay, I'm not knocking lube. No, I just... It serves a purpose. I love my coconut oil. You're an advocate. I absolutely love it. I know that. Love that. See that. Top, bottom. I mean, use it everywhere. Maybe that's what I'm missing out on. It's incredible. So I'm not going to knock it. But...

I also think like the whole, the fact that this whole story hinges on lube is really getting to me because it shouldn't be that serious. No, he's definitely cheating. You think? Yeah. I would, I would literally just like, I would ask, I would literally ask his friend and be like, like awkwardly, like kind of catch him off guard where they're like all together. Oh, you enjoyed the lube, huh? Yeah. Like, Hey, did you ever, did you ever try that lube that we have? And he's like, what are you talking about? Yeah. Then it's like liar. Yeah.

I don't know, but then there's just, maybe I've gotten in too deep with like very severe lies, but like they can spend that later. Cause then he can be like, oh, he was just embarrassed. He didn't want you to know we were sharing lube. So there's way too many ways to lie out of it. I honestly think if you're looking at this, like I'm a pretty, I feel like I'm a rational person. If I look at this, are you, you're really going to break up with your boyfriend because he shares lube with his friend and you happen to find it in his backpack. And that was enough for you to jump to the conclusion that he's cheating. Yeah.

I just think it's too weird. I need more. It's weird. Weird flex. Yes. But I need more. I don't know. I think it's weird. The top comment goes...

It's normal that you think he's possibly cheated. I'm a guy and my thoughts went there instantly as well because who the fuck shares lube? And expensive? Total BS. You can buy decent lube for like 20 bucks. Yeah. Sometimes even 10. For sure. You get it next day Amazon delivery. Yeah. So yeah. This is weird. Yeah. I'm glad we agree as a community that...

Sharing lube is inappropriate. It's just weird. I've never heard of it. Yeah, it's inappropriate. We're in a pandemic. In any world, you shouldn't be sharing lube. But especially in this world today. Absolutely not. I mean, God, there's so many other things that... I just feel gross. I just know what happens to my lube. And it's just like...

You know where your lube's been. It just, to not go near anyone else. It really shouldn't. It's also just like, you keep your shit in the bedroom. Yeah. I don't know, that's...

I don't know. I don't know if he's actually cheating, but there is something weird. It's weird. 100%. Weird. 100%. Yeah. Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on personal care items at your local store. Now through August 27th, get extra discounts when you purchase participating items like Dove Beauty Bar, Dove Body Wash, Dove Men Plus Care Body Wash, or

deodorant, dove shampoo, trace of a shampoo and ax body spray. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. This next one is family cheating. Oh, okay. Which...

The title is very interesting. And I kind of relate to it in the sense that, like, if I tried to explain my family to anyone, I would need, like, a Venn diagram. An org chart. Whatever those fucking tree family tree charts are, like, that's what I need to explain my family. So the title is, Am I the Asshole for Telling My Sister She Was Dating My Biological Father? Hold on. Oh, my God. What? What?

I need time to process this. My sister, they must have not been blood related, right? I'm going to go if it's bio dad. I'm going to think it's kind of like my family where we all have the same mom, but different dad. Okay.

Okay. She goes, so my life's turned into a bloody soap opera recently and I could use some outside opinions here. I, 24 female, am the product of my mom having an affair. Fortunately, my dad decided to forgive my mom and keep me and I had a pretty good upbringing. But I don't really look a lot like the rest of my family. I'm the only redhead among other things.

And I did ask questions of why am I the only one with insert trait here? What is this trait that we have to be so elusive? Is it like too identifying or like, like why won't you tell us? Like, well, there's some like silly ones where like widow's peak is genetic. Yeah. But like how you cross your thumb, you're on Reddit and we're here. Yeah. Tell us what it is. Right. When I was 17, my mom took me out for ice cream and,

Okay. Okay.

Same, sis. Same. Love George Clooney. I know. He's so cool.

You just love his wife. I love his wife. Damn it. You caught me. I was just thinking it's really fucking a mall. She's such a fucking badass. Such a badass. World like human rights lawyer. Yeah. She works for the UN. That was my dream job. So I'm like, Ooh, and she's just beautiful. She's yeah. She's good shit. Yeah. Okay. So back, back to this girl, which by the way, we love a resilient queen and she is resilient. I know. Like I moved on like nothing. Just wipe the crumbs off my shoulder and just moved on. Yeah.

And two months ago, she shared a picture of herself and her new boyfriend. Oh my God. Who, to my shock, turned out to be my biological father. That's so fucked up. What are the chances? I literally, I thought my life was weird, but like. What are the, how? I don't know where you go from there. Like, what are the chances? Maybe it's a small town. Do they say where they're from? Okay. But let's just like, shut up.

She doesn't say how old her mom is, but if she's 24, let's say her mom was even like 24, 24. Her mom's 50 sisters, 27 dating a 50 year old. I've seen weirder things. Yeah. I guess there's, there's, um, there's worse. There's an age gap, but I've seen weird. Yeah. I mean, George Clooney movies really got, they really, yeah. Embedded something. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

I debated what to do for a couple of days, then ultimately decided she needed the truth and told her.

My sister did not take it well and dumped him, but she wasn't angry with me. Oh, okay. We fucking love her. Supportive. We love her. Yes. Which also, how could you be mad at your sister? Like... Yeah, true. I mean, okay. I don't think you'd be mad at your sister because you know your sister didn't do anything wrong, but it's almost like when someone tells you, it's like shooting the messenger. When someone gives you bad news, it just...

Automatic. It happens. Yeah, it happens. But at least she was composed and did it. So we love that. I'm very happy for her because imagine like... Yeah. Your sister turns on you and now you have to deal with the grief of your fucking father robbing the cradle who's also your sister and now your sister's mad at you. Or what if they ended up getting married because you didn't say anything and then your sister now becomes your mom? Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Your sister becomes your, like, mom. Well, yeah, because it's technically your biological dad. So it's like your stepmom. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah. So thank God she told her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God. Honestly, by now she's kind of amused. Says that since she banged my dad, she's my mom and has extra powers to boss me around now. She's being, like, nice about it. I know. We love that. Good sport. Good sport. Good sport. Also, it's so weird. She's Eskimo sisters with her mom. Her sister. Yeah.

Wait. Her sister is Eskimo sister. I'd rather pass away. I would rather pass away. Can you imagine? No, no. And I'm not even going to go there. Oh my God. I cannot, I cannot imagine having sex with anyone. My mom has had sex with. No, no, no, no. I want to throw up. I want to throw up so hard. Love my mother. She's actually a very attractive woman. And I'm sure a lot of guys my age would be very happy to be with my mom. But what if you are Eskimo sisters with your mom? I don't know.

But I know one ex in particular that I could totally see hooking up with your mom. I know one ex in particular. Actually, I feel like we're thinking of different exes. And that means there's two exes that we could see hooking up with my mom. I'm thinking when that starts with a B. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. Actually, speaking of which, I actually, yeah, no, for sure. I could see him hooking up with your mom. For sure. Yeah.

Actually, the more I think about it, I'm going to start to get angry because it actually seems more real. It's plausible. He has no boundaries. None. Zero. Zero boundaries. So she goes on to say, my mom, on the other hand, is furious. She says I divulged something that wasn't my secret to share.

What? Wait, hold on. Who got mad at her? The mom is mad at her because she shared a secret that wasn't hers. First of all, how is that a fucking secret? I don't think anyone else knows. Her sister didn't know. But the relationship should have, like, secret or not. Like, that relationship was weird. Also, how, like...

How is it not your secret to share when you're literally... It's my fucking father. Yeah, you're literally the product of that. So it's like, that's you. That's your life. Like, it's 100% yours to share. Yeah, this is 100% my life. This is, first of all, secret? Like...

It's not a secret. Not to either of them. It's an unfortunate coincidence at best. I don't think the sister knew that she... Yeah, but secret makes it sound like, oh God, we all know that she's dating his dad. Let's keep it on the DL as a secret. That sounds like it's collusion. Yeah. You know? Well, and that's like...

I don't know what the mom was expecting. Like maybe the mom was expecting her like relationship to not work out. But at the same time, it's like, what if it did? And on the off chance you now have to have your baby daddy that you had an affair with now be a permanent member of your family. Yeah. No, this girl did nothing wrong. No, absolutely not. She did a service, if anything. Truly. Yeah. Yeah.

So she goes, that since my bio father isn't related to my sister, it didn't matter if he dated my sister. And it wasn't like they were talking marriage anyways. It's been two months and she's still angry, still snide, calls me a traitor, and finds excuses to make loud comments about how I can't be trusted with anything private or important. This is the mom? Yeah. Sounds a little emotionally manipulative. Very, very toxic, manipulative.

That's really... That's shitty. So unfair of your daughter, too. Like, you're the one that made the mistake 24 years ago, 25 years ago. Like, that's on you. And if you're still unhappy about what you did, like...

That's something you should come to terms with. Yeah. That's not her fault. I don't know why the mom has so much skin in the game here. Like, did you like get joy out of watching one of your daughters? Fuck your baby daddy? Fuck your baby daddy? Like, I'm super lost here. You should be like, God, thank you so much. That was so fucking weird. I'm so happy you like...

dispelled this relationship. Like, that's really weird. The mom, it's so strange. She seems like emotionally manipulative. Definitely, definitely very manipulative here. And like, again, like, okay, they weren't talking marriage anyways, but like,

Like, can you imagine if they would have dated for two years and were talking marriage? And then it became a problem where you're like, oh, well, actually, you're dating my biological father. And she's like, you've waited two years to tell me? Yep. It's like damned if you do, damned if you don't. Yeah. Because in that instance, they're like, wait, you knew this whole time and didn't say anything? Exactly. You bitch. Then the sister would have recently been mad. So it's like, pick your poison here. Do you want mom mad at you or do you want sister mad at you?

sister actually kind of has a legit reason. Like if you knew this and sat on it for two years, I can see why the sister would be mad, but your mom is being very selfish for, I don't really know why. Like, I'm not sure how she benefits from this, but yeah, weird. She's not wrong. Super strange. I think she just probably feels super guilty and didn't want her other daughter to look at her in a certain light, which I understand like what she did, like,

She probably still has a lot of guilt over. Yeah. It's probably something that has like haunted her in a sense. But at the same time, it's like. Shouldn't you want that person gone then so that they aren't a reminder. Yes. Of the haunting. Exactly. Like you shouldn't want that person to continue to be in your life. But also it's not.

then your daughter's burden to bear. Exactly. Exactly. You clean up your mess. Yeah. It's selfish. It's weird. Yeah. So overall vote on the post was not the asshole. Yeah. Not the asshole. Not the asshole. Not all day long. Rightfully, rightfully so that you told your sister, like,

No, I would do the same thing. No. Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on all your personal care favorites. Now through August 27th, save up to $3 or more when you purchase participating personal care items like Pampers Wipes.

Gillette razors, Metamucil, Crest toothpaste, secret body spray, and a Swiffer power mop. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. I don't think I'm going to do this one, but my boyfriend cheated on me while I was undergoing treatment for cancer. I'm not emotionally stable enough for that one.

Okay, we'll move along. I mean, we can if you think it'll be good. It just seems like a Debbie Downer. Yeah. Her update though. Thanks guys for the well wishes. I hope to survive this illness and move past this chapter of my life. Oh my God. Nope. I'm already not well. She dumped him. Okay, good. Bravo. If anyone wants the link, let me know. Thank God. But like, I'm so sorry for that. I'm so sorry. That's really sad because cheating really...

It causes so much stress. And like for me, I've been cheated on. And what sucks about cheating is...

It really shatters your trust in like people. Oh, for sure. It's not like you get cheated on and you just hold it against that one person and you just are like, oh. You view everyone as like, well, if this person can lie to me, what about this person and this person and this person? And it's not good for you to just like doubt people like that. It's unhealthy. It's like a weight. You shouldn't be that person.

You're on edge. You're just on edge. Like humans in general. Like when I was lied to or cheated on, it was like fucking open season. I'm like, which one of you bitches is also lying to me? Like, you know what I mean? You just kind of turn on people for better or for worse. So I can't imagine you're going through chemo

You're sick. You're already like under low energy. You need all the support you can get. And it's like, okay, well, even if he was like, oh, I was scared I was going to lose you. Which probably was what he said. But like...

You shouldn't... Like, look at what this person is going through. You shouldn't then use your own, you know, emotions or lack of, you know... Yeah, that's fucked up. ...composure to then, like, twist it on her. Like, oh, it's her fault that you cheated because she has cancer. Right. Yeah, no. No. No.

Moving along. Not the one. Okay. Would I be the asshole if I go to my younger daughter's wedding? My younger daughter, Haley, 28 female, is marrying my older daughter, Jennifer, 30 females, ex-fiance. You really wanted to hit me where it hurts, didn't you? I respect that. Okay. So...

I literally had no idea. I still don't have any idea what you're talking about. Really? No idea. The concept of someone marrying someone else's ex that they're close to? These people are sisters. Sisters. Friends. Close friends. Tomato, tomato.

Okay, so their sisters, this is worse, of course. Is there more? Yes. Okay. Jennifer is mad at me because I'm going to Haley's wedding. She says that I'm, quote, condoning her sister's behavior as always, but that simply is not true.

When the wedding was called off and we found out it was because Sam. Who's Sam? Sam is. The younger one? So Jennifer's the older daughter. And Sam's the young one. Haley is the younger daughter. Who's Sam? Sam is Jennifer's ex-fiance. That's the man. That's the man. Okay. This is all about. This is the man's. Yes. Okay. So when the wedding was called off, we found it was because Sam and Haley were dating. I called Haley immediately. Wait. So she was the reason that her.

Are you fucking kidding me? You know where I stand on this one. Are you fucking kidding me? Bad news bears. Bad.

Bad. I called Haley immediately and I asked her to rethink the relationship, not only for her sister's sake, but also because, quote, if he could do it once, he could do it twice. Facts. And I didn't want her to get hurt. She reassured me that that wasn't the case, that they were meant for each other and had known this for a long time. So I left it at that. Cases. I spoke to Sam, too. He apologized for any hurt he may have caused. May have caused? Bitch, you blew that shit up.

You just destroyed someone's life. A family. A family, literally. Speaking of throwing a grenade at a family, Sam was very capable of that. You were engaged to this woman's sister. You guys were about to walk down the aisle. And the only reason the wedding didn't happen was because they found out, she found out, that you were cheating on her with her sister. So heads would fucking roll.

Oh my God. And I'm not even, like I just said, all bets are off on my not revenge. Like I wouldn't have a sister anymore. No. Should be done. No. I'm, this is like the most intense story we have had tonight. This one is terrible.

Because... You're not seeing the parallels here? Like, this one really hits home because it's like... It's putting... Okay, the dad's in a tough position because he loves his daughters, Haley and... Yeah. I mean, they're both your kids. Both your kids. You're going to love your kids at the end of the day. However, your daughter, the younger one, was a... She fucked up. ...chrysaline-ass hoe. You don't go after your sister's fiancé. You are supporting a relationship that was bred out of infidelity, betrayal. And yes, you are...

I think you are condoning that if you go to the wedding because that wedding shouldn't be happening. Like, no, it's inappropriate. I'm just speaking like I'm thinking about my family. My family wouldn't. They'd be like, fuck you. No. And as a younger sister, your older sister is like engaged to this guy. Yeah. He loved her enough to propose. Yeah. Why do you then feel that you're more entitled to that person? And he loves me. He's different. He's changed. He would never do this to anyone else. He would never do this to me.

He quite literally did it to your sister. Your blood. And he put you in that situation. Like, if it was meant to be, like, nothing should have happened before. Like, he should have... They should have called off the wedding. It wasn't like, oh, he was cheating on her. The fiance. Well, Sam has some balls because the fact that he has... Oh, my God. He can show his face to this family. Toxic motherfucker. This is all wrong. This is all wrong. Yeah. Like...

Haley or whoever the young one is should not be... She should not be marrying him. No, she screwed over her sister, Jennifer. No, she fucked his sister. Her sister. The sister, Jennifer, has every reason to literally burn the world down. Oh, yeah. I would be livid. If one of my friends was the reason that I didn't walk down the fucking aisle...

I'd be a felon. Let's just put it that way. I'd be a felon. And either that or committed to an institution. I would be probably a psych ward. Probably both. I'm going to be honest. A padded cell would be very nice for me. For sure. After something like that. I'd plead insanity. And let alone, okay, not only just your friend, it's your sister. How could you do that to your sister? Someone you love and care about. But

maybe they never were close. Maybe there was always jealousy and maybe I've heard of like, I mean, there's some people that like have,

never had a good relationship with their sibling and their sibling has always kind of terrorized them and yeah stolen something that was theirs and you know yeah no I get that maybe they weren't the closest but okay let's go back to the dad the dad's writing this so it's the mom that's actually writing this oh the mom is writing this it's the mom that's writing this so what is it the dad has nothing to do with it we'll get there oh okay

Okay. So Sam apologized for any hurt he may have caused, but said that it wouldn't be fair to marry Jennifer when deep in his heart, he knew that he was in love with Haley. They've officially been together for a little over a year now, and they truly seem happy and in love. My husband is supporting Jennifer. He's disgusted with the whole situation and doesn't want anything to do with it. At one point, he announced that he wouldn't be giving Sam his blessing or walking Haley down the aisle.

Retweet. Yes. Daddy-o. As it should be. Also, I can't believe her mom. As a mom. As a mother. Why would you want your daughter to marry someone like that? No. My mom gave Justin, my boyfriend, who is a saint, so much shit when I first introduced...

And like, she like interrogated the poor guy. And it's like, if I had like another, you know, sibling close in age that this happened with, my mom would kill that sibling for me. Literally the sibling and the guy. Yeah. Like,

I just don't understand how like as a mom, you're letting your daughter marry the scum or supporting it. My mother would be, I want to call her and ask her what she'd think, but I'm pretty sure my mom's Latina. So when you're in the, in that culture, dead, dead, dead, like no fucking chance. No, not, no, no,

Yeah, I mean, that is true. Yeah, that is true. Okay, so I'm thinking about the situation that I was in, and it's like...

You can sweep it under the rug and just be like, this is fucked up, but I'll move on. Yeah. But I also think like you don't have to, you don't have to subject yourself to that discomfort. So no, you don't have to openly support it. Like, no, if that's what they want to do, then that's what they want to do. But like,

your husband and your daughter Jennifer should have Christmas together. Like Haley made her bed. And have a different holiday with them. Yeah. If you feel so called to see them. But like... But also like what kind of... I mean, I'm not a mother, but if I was...

I'm thinking about it like that is not the daughter that I want to raise. I'd be like, you know better than that. Like, first of all, how could you do that? Respect relationships, respect a union, but let alone respect your fucking family. Yeah. Don't go after somebody that is taken, let alone by your sibling, your blood. That is not a daughter that I'd want to raise. And I'd be like, I love you. You'll always be my daughter. But I'm not supporting you in this decision. I can't support you in this. You're on your own. Yeah. And I think that's totally fair. Yeah. Yeah.

So she goes on to say, when my husband said that he wasn't walking Haley down the aisle, she was devastated. Okay, well, your sister was devastated when he fucked her over. Touche. I asked my husband if he was willing to risk his relationship with Haley by not walking her down the aisle. Jennifer accused me of trying to twist him to my side. I told Jennifer that it's not about sides. It's about learning how to forgive. Okay.

It's been one less than a year. Yeah. Like this was her life, her fiance. Forgive. Forget. Maybe in 20 years. Yeah.

At best. In this lifetime? Maybe. But also, I think that like, I guess we haven't heard little ho Haley's side. But like, I think in order to forgive, there has to be some type of like, I don't want to say remorse, but like,

Like, there has to be some type of like... Hayley hasn't even apologized. There's no like... There hasn't been any making amends. No. No making it right. So why the fuck should I forgive you? What? So I can sleep better at night? No, I actually sleep better at night. Like a baby back bitch.

Knowing that I did nothing wrong and you did everything wrong. It's definitely like not okay. Okay, forgive. Yeah, but like it's been less than a year. Like you're actively promoting her relationship then. Yeah. I've told her that it's been over a year now since her and Sam broke up and she's been bitterly jumping from relationship to relationship because she's so focused on Haley and Sam and that if she never learns to forgive them, she'll never be at peace. I mean, there might be some truth to that.

But to tell your hurt daughter, like, oh, you're jumping from relationship to relationship. Like, if my mom told me that, there would be a war. I know, but like... Don't hurt your daughter that's already hurting. Like, don't kick your wedgies down. Yeah, like, what are you implying? Well, okay, like... I don't think she's calling her a slut, but like, okay, my mother, first of all, has no filter. So my mom would absolutely be like, all 100 real the fucking. Yeah. But...

I mean, I think as a mom, you want the best for your daughter. And if you have a great relationship with her, then you're going to be brutally honest with her. And if you see her jumping from relationship to relationship to fill a void, then you're going to tell her, you're going to be like, Hey, listen, you're like doing the most. Yeah. And I need you to, I just think there's a better way to say it. Yeah. You're jumping from relationship to relationship. How much better does it get like that than that? You know, Jennifer, I love you. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Your sister Haley's a bitch. Yeah.

Your sister Haley is a trifling asshole. But I want you to find someone that truly does love you and respect for you. Yeah. And I think that's part of the conversation too. But I think it is worth pointing out like you are jumping from relationship to relationship because you're trying to fill a void. Yeah. And the void can't be filled because the reality is Mr. Perfect could walk into your life. But the fact is you're not going to accept that because you're so hurt over what your sister and...

ex-fiance did to you and rightfully so but the only way to hash this out is to deal with it head on and that doesn't mean she needs to forgive her or him right now but I think one day she does need to forgive them right yeah she goes on to say she says that I don't understand that Haley purposefully stole Sam from her and that she's been doing this since they were kids and I never noticed

I told her that she should have told me then. Okay. To your mom. It's your job as a mom to notice how your kids are doing. Yeah, I agree. She said that I should have been paying closer attention and noticed it. I told her that she had to learn to let go of certain things in the past in order to move forward. And that if Haley did steal Sam as she claimed, then Haley did her a favor. Which... Okay. So then more reason not to fucking support your second daughter dating this monster. Yeah.

She didn't want to hear that, but it needed to be said. I also offered to put in a three-way call with Haley, but she declined. This mom is nuts. Yeah, whoa. Then she gave me an ultimatum. She said if I go to the wedding, it means Haley was my favorite child all along and that she'll never speak to me again. I told her that I'm going to the wedding just as I would have gone to hers if she was in that situation. She said okay and hung up. Later, my husband calls me from work telling me she called him crying. That's a lot, but...

I stand firm. I think that supporting this daughter, like, yes, you should...

Maybe it's because I grew up with like a very strict mother who like would not let me be a piece of shit. My mom would not let me act like this. Yeah, my mom would be like, I love you, but I'm going to love you from a distance because I don't know who you are and I did not raise you to be this homewrecker. Yes, absolutely. And I'm not going to... Me attending your wedding and letting you just get by unscathed is not being a good parent. No, it's not fair to you. It's not fair to your sister because it's telling her...

Feel free to fuck over your sister and anyone at that for that matter. And no repercussions. No, absolutely unfair. Like, yeah, it's so, so, so terrible. No, I, I, I think I stand with the dad. Yeah. I think this is fucked up. The overall vote of this post was that she was the asshole. That who is the asshole? The mom. Oh yeah. Which is the one writing this. So yes, totally justified. Rightfully so.

um the comments eat her alive like let's get truly eat her alive yeah i mean absolute top comment with 13k upvotes like just like literally breaks down point by point it's just like it's like a novel it is like mla format it's a novel when you look at it

And it's just like one of those things. Like I told Jennifer that it's not about side. It's about learning how to forgive. So she like replied to what the mom said. And she comments, this is mealy mouthed bullshit. Forgiveness has never meant and things will go back to the way they were. And the first step of deserving forgiveness is to no longer do the shitty thing that caused the trouble in the first place. Not to marry the guy. Sounds like someone I know. This is where you like, I struggle because this is what I was saying. Like,

You can forgive people. 100%. Of course. In time. But you don't need to then uno reverse the relationship back to where it was. Yes. And like that's exactly what like I feel like I've been in a situation recently where it's like

You continued to do what fucked you in the first place. Why would I forgive you? No, it's... You've shown no remorse, no awareness, no sense of like, oh, moral compass. Like, I agree with this person. I...

I agree as well. You can't continue to do what you're doing and then be like, but like, that's like breaking the law and then trying to ask the like police or the law, like to drop the ticket, to dismiss the ticket because it was a mistake and you're cognizant of the laws and whatever. But then you continue to fucking speed or you continue to run the red lights. You think the fucking police department's going to look at you and go like,

Yeah. Okay. All right. We forgive you. No, you have to show that you've learned from your mistakes. Gotta go to traffic school. Exactly. Or pay a thousand dollars a day or whatever you feel like.

I think the other one that this person replies to in their comment, she goes, it was the point where the mom said, I've told her that it's been over a year since her and Sam broke up. And she's been bitterly jumping from relationship to relationship. The person comments, wow, low blow. You think that after a year, after her fiance fucked her sister, she should be in a solid relationship already? Right. Like, yeah. Retreat.

Yeah, no, I agree. And again, kind of right on, she says that I don't understand that Haley purposefully stole Sam from her and that she's been doing stuff like this since they were kids. Person goes, it's not your child's responsibility to call things to your attention when you are neglectful. It's your job as a parent to notice. Yeah, especially when they're younger. You're supposed to be cognizant of your kids' interactions. Yeah, last one. Mom saying, if Haley did steal Sam, as she claimed...

But the person goes, what other explanation is there exactly? Quote, as she claimed, literally no one is denying it. Right. Like that's the thing is like Sam didn't just like trip and stumble into Haley's lap. Like no, he was in a full blown engagement. Haley did something to pique his interest. Right. And fostered it because it takes two to tango. It does take two to tango. So,

it could have been on Sam, you know, maybe Sam initiated it. Maybe it was just Haley. And then he like turned his head towards her, like whatever it is. But at the end of the day, like if it was Sam, Haley shouldn't have pursued him. And if it was Haley, Sam fucked over the sister he was supposed to marry. But you know what it comes down to in this whole grand scheme of things is

Sam is clearly not a good person. Oh, not at all. And, and it, whether it's Haley, Jennifer or your other daughter, neither, none of your daughters should be marrying. No. You know, like, no. And like the mom saying like, oh, well, you know, Haley did you a favor. Okay. Rightfully so. Yeah. But it doesn't matter that Haley's still not right. Right. Right. Right. You shouldn't support.

you know, one daughter destroying the other's life. Like it's kind of insane to me that this is even a question. Like, yeah, I'm sure when you're in the thick of it, you're like conflicted because you're a parent and you're supposed to love and support all of your kids no matter what they do. But that is crossing a lot of lines. Oh yeah. I mean, I just think if you're truly want to be a good parent to them, you need to show them and set boundaries that you can't do that to your blood. You can't. And yeah,

At the end of the day, like, yes, that other daughter is going to be hurt and upset, but like she has no one to blame but herself. Like, sure. It's kind of like if you want to be with Sam so fucking bad, we're not going to stop you. Go ahead. Go be with Sam. But we're not going to sit around and sing Kumbaya at Christmas. And actively hurt the one. No. We still have to support the other daughter that you hurt. And rightfully so, we're supporting her. And go have your fun life with Sam. I hope he was worth it. Yeah. Like, oof. Yeah. Oof. Oof to that one. Yeah. Big.

Big oof. Well, that's all I have for you and your initiation into Too Hot Takes in this cheaters episode. Love that for me. Great brand. I'll be back for stalkers. Yes, seriously. Well, thanks you guys for joining us for another episode of Too Hot Takes. If you have any cheater stories or need any advice on cheaters, send them my way. This is actually a topic that I am a

a content uh expert on so send it my way or weigh in on the stories let us know if you think uh if you think this family is is wrong yes yes like connect on instagram tiktok like let us know what you think about these stories especially the last one with poor jennifer yeah if you're hayley fuck you until next time see ya bye

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