62: Updates and Do-Overs..
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Hi friends, this is a little bit different of an episode this week. We do a lot of talking and not so many Reddit stories. So if you come for the stories...

Check us out. We're getting into a deeper dive type version of ourselves and really sharing some vulnerable, vulnerable stories.

that have shaped our opinions over the show. And we're really nervous, excited, mostly nervous to share them with you. I think this kind of offers a deeper thought process into our minds and where our opinions come from on this show. And we can't wait to hear what you guys think about it. Enjoy. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Soft Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. And I'm Lauren. Just kidding. Justin's giving us a hard time for doing this episode. And...

He thinks it is going to go very, very poorly. And I think it'll be an interesting conversation. And...

We'll see. It's either going to make you see where we were coming from on some of our takes or hate us. So we're taking a risk here. Yeah, Justin said there's way more risk than reward. He literally said don't do it. He's like, don't do it. Okay, but the thing is that the conversations that we're going to have is we're going to go through the past stories that we had a lot of heat from. And I think there's kind of part of it is...

We want to be able to discuss with you guys, grow with you guys, grow with each other and have an open mind. We also don't want to get into a pigeonhole where we are changing our opinions because other people are telling us to. That's not good either. No, and that's not what the show is about. Exactly. It's nice to have a little spicy take here and there. Like, yeah, no one wants to agree all the time. Cause a little bit of controversy. Yeah, just a little, just a little.

So we're going to start off with the updates first because there's some juicy ones. I'm really excited. So let's dive in. Let's do it. ♪♪♪

So I had you look at all of these so you are familiar with the stories if you weren't on the episode that it came from. Correct. Which is good. So we had one on an episode two weeks ago with Teffy and it was am I the asshole for eating at the same restaurant as my husband's family?

And so this story, she had a weird dynamic in her marriage where her husband had this tradition to go like to monthly dinners with his family and his partners and his brothers and his brother's partners. And the wife that was writing in was constantly being left out. Like she only got to go 50% of the time to these dinners. And her husband was always like cagey about the answer, all this stuff, like nothing.

wouldn't like really tell her why she wasn't invited so she decided to show up at the restaurant and eat while they were there and like this big fight ensued like mom said she was an asshole for interrupting their dinner husband came home later and was mad at her all this shit it turns out she was mixed she's half black and

And a lot of the commenters were like, this plays a part in your dynamic. I bet that's the reason. And so me and Taffy talked about how like this is divorce worthy for us. Like this is not okay for your partner to do. Like that's supposed to be your ride or die. Like when you pick someone and you find your person, you marry them. Like that's your new main family unit. It shouldn't, your loyalty shouldn't be to where you came from. Like your vagina unit, like what vagina you came out of. I don't know like what's a good way to put it, but.

That.

So for the update, wait, before we begin, I actually want to say I did watch that episode with Taffy. First of all. Oh, we'll get to another one. Yeah, but I loved Taffy's episode so much. It's so fun. And I was pissed at this story, like pissed at the husband. It's ridiculous. It's so ridiculous. I would not stay with this person. No, no. Which she isn't either. Good. Update. I left my husband. First.

First, I want to say thank you to everyone who commented on my post. I wasn't expecting it to get as many comments as it did. I'm trying to go through and read everyone's comments, but obviously that has taken some time and I'm still not done.

This week has been a bit crazy, but I feel like I made enough progress to justify an update. Here's what happened. Your comments gave me the confidence to confront my husband about why I wasn't invited, and I wouldn't settle for a cagey answer. So I asked him about it calmly, and he said something like, quote, Oh, it's just a family decision. So I said, I'm your family, though. I deserve to know why.

He said some very vague stuff like, "Well, you just don't fit in as well as everyone else." And I asked him what that meant. He couldn't really explain it. I was thinking about how a lot of you were concerned about the racial dynamics of my relationship. Personally, I had never thought much about it. No one in his family has ever made a racist comment towards me or towards anyone else. But I wanted to cover my bases, so I asked my husband if I was excluded because I was half black.

My husband said, and I quote, no, it's not because of that. You know, I don't care about that. The way he said it implied that someone cared. So I asked who cared? He said, nobody. I asked if it was his mom who cared and he hesitated and said, maybe. Wow. After a long conversation of prodding him, here's the story I eventually got.

His mom is not a fan of me. My race might factor into it, but he said it's also my personality and my political beliefs and the fact that we went to my parents' house on Christmas Day the first year we started dating. His mom told him that he should think about finding someone who, quote, suited him better, and she encouraged him to take some time away from me. She said the family dinners would be a great opportunity for him to be with his family where he, quote, fit in.

I was invited sometimes because the dinners weren't always an excuse to get away from me, but some of them were. I was obviously devastated after hearing that, but it also felt good to finally hear an explanation.

I asked him if he thought he needed even more space from me. He didn't even have the time to answer before I went into the bedroom and started packing some clothes. Good. I've been staying at my sister's house for a few days now. I haven't contacted my husband. I'm giving him his space. We'll probably end up separating or getting a divorce, but right now it's too early to tell. This was so hard to type out, but everyone was so supportive. I felt like I owed it to you all. Thanks again for your kindness. I...

It makes me so mad when I hear stuff like this. That mother, get over yourself. I know that you want the best for your children, but if he's happy, she wants to date her child. That's what she's upset about. She's upset that she can't date her child. Especially if it has anything to do with race. That just boils my fucking blood. It's weird. It's weird because it feels like I think obviously race is probably playing a factor in this and...

I have, again, like a very different context. Like, clearly, if anyone watches on YouTube, I'm white. So it's... To me, this feels very much like a mama's boy situation. And maybe there are some racial undertones that are, like, impacting where the mom, you know... And obviously, he kind of implied it. Yeah, he said maybe. He said maybe. So maybe there's something there. Who knows? Because he's being a cagey dick. But...

I think this is a lot of like enmeshment and mama's boy syndrome where the mom is just so overbearing of her son and like basically raised her son to be the perfect partner and then she doesn't get to reap the rewards. And so she's upset that he's with anyone. But then maybe the fact that he's with someone who is mixed or a black woman is

that he is it's not good enough for him like find someone who understands you it's a better fit for you but I really think because of the fact that she's held something from Christmas day over their head Christmas day the first year we started dating we went to my parents house

And I think that's something that comes up in a lot of people's relationships where it's like, or it just like, it pisses like your in-laws off so much that they like, it constantly comes up then every time you have a fight or every time something's wrong. And it's like, that's not, that's not fair. Like, like it was Christmas one day, the first day they were dating. Like, and when you start meshing families together, you do have to make compromises on how you spend your holidays. It's hard.

Justin and I have like five different Christmases we have to go to. Yeah. Especially with divorced parents. Yeah. It's hard. His mom, his dad, his grandma's house, my mom, my dad, my grandma's house. There's six Christmases. Especially because you guys are both from Minnesota. So it's like you're not and you're living in Los Angeles. So they don't get to see you all the time. So when you come back for the holidays. It's a nightmare. They're like, we need to see you. It's a nightmare.

All of you. It's an absolute shit show for us. It stresses him out to the point he's like, I don't even want to go home anymore. I don't blame him. That is tough. That is really tough.

I also. It drives me. It just like, I love going home. So like it really, I always tell him, I'm like, it shouldn't be like this. Like I love going home. So like if this is what it's like for you, I'm going to come up with a better solution. Yeah, definitely. Because they're like, again, meshing families does come with compromise. Well, when you and Justin get a house, you guys can host it at your place and make everyone come out here. And just if the family dynamics are a shit show, fuck them. Just kidding. Yeah.

Yeah, it's going to be. But no, I mean, I had that too when I was dating Jeff back in Minnesota because obviously his parents are divorced. My parents are divorced. So holidays, we yeah, we decided to dip out one of the years. So yeah, but but no, it's I the thing and like with this story, too.

I actually have a really hard time with the idea of dating somebody whose family doesn't like me because to me family is really important. So if I'm going to marry into a family, that's like heartbreaking to me. If I were to have my husband's family just not like me and I like that, that is enough. I know obviously love, it can trump everything. La la la. But if I were her, I would just not even want a part of that. I don't want that negativity in my life. Life's too short. Well,

Love can trump if your partner is willing to stick up for you and draw solid boundaries between the family that doesn't like you. There's so many people, especially like you search mother-in-law hashtag on TikTok. There's so many people that go through mother-in-law drama. I think it is a really hard relationship for a lot of people to navigate. And so it can work if your partner is willing not to be a little pushy.

pansy i don't know a little goofball a little goofball i'm like i gotta search every word i say now i i always give morgan so much shit because she says goofy for everything like it could she could mean like actually just goofy or she could mean psychotic she's just you'll never know i love it i told her i was gonna start using goofy and she was like that's mine dibs uh yeah but

It's just bad vibes from him. She can do better. Someone that's like not going to not put her first. Yeah. Well, I hope she gives us an update again. Now I'm really curious. I know. So one of the top comments, there's only like a couple of comments, like the top comment on here has 41 upvotes. Like there's not much yet.

And so they go, if he's even willing to entertain his mom's idea of, quote, he needs someone who suits him better, then he doesn't deserve you. He should have called her on her bullshit, but he didn't. Unfortunately, none of them will learn anything from this. But teaching them how to not be terrible is not your job. Someone else goes, you go, girl, and fuck that racist family. I know. And I don't I don't want to say they're not racist and try to argue against that because clearly there's

there is an issue there. Like he implied it. Yeah. But I think, especially if that's what he's saying to his, if that's what he's saying to his wife, I feel like there's so much more. He's not even like telling the truth. He's like, he's still being PG about it. When he's saying maybe, I feel like his mom probably said a bunch of shit and he's just like, I can't. Yeah. I can't tell her. Yeah. I think this is like, just like one of those layers things though, where it's like, there's like, or like a pyramid. Like it's like that Abby dance mom's like audio where it's like,

blah blah blah you were great but not good and like she keeps doing the pyramid layers or whatever like that's how this feels to me where it's like racism enmeshment mama's boy like blah blah blah it's like like husband's a weak ass like well it's just like it just like keeps going in the layers and i'm like i don't know what layer is greater what one's on top the pyramid like maybe racism is on top because that is like by far the bigger issue and then maybe there's enmeshment and then weak ass man i love i love that last one weak ass man

Pussy ass bitch. Yeah. Okay. Moving along to the next update and probably Lauren's favorite. I'm scared. My favorite? Actually? Do you remember? Or sarcastically? No, no, no. So do you remember the story we had about a woman who ended up developing appendicitis?

And she ruined the big football game, soccer game for her partner. Oh, my God. That episode. Uh-huh. It was titled, Am I the Asshole for Causing Drama During an Important Football Game? No. So this woman ended up developing appendicitis when her and her partner were on a weekend getaway about four hours away from their house. She had to have emergency surgery, had complications, all this stuff.

She needed to be picked up, but there was an important football game the same night of her getting picked up. And so he drove all the way up there, three to four hours away to wait. She wasn't ready to be discharged in time because, you know, whatever reason. And he got tired of waiting, didn't want to miss the football game with his buddies. So he left and she was stuck there.

After an emergency surgery. Yeah, because she couldn't even be released without somebody. Without anyone. Yeah, that's like discharge rules. And so she called him a couple times and was like, hey, like, what do I do? Where, like, are you coming back? Like, why don't you get a hotel? We can watch the game at the hotel right next to the hospital. I won't let you miss it, blah, blah, blah. He called her dramatic, said he ruined her life.

He said she ruined his night. Like all this bullshit. Well, it was embarrassing in front of my friends. Yeah, just a bunch of stuff. And so it clearly was not a good relationship. I'm just going to go back. I was hard on him. If you can't tell, I'm going in. Yeah, well, and it's like he left her there. Like that's just ridiculous. So the top comment that was left on this one at the end of the day was 47,000 upvotes about

Get out of this relationship now. You're not the asshole. Your partner, however, is a world-class giant asshole. He put a game over you. A game. He wasn't playing in it. He wanted to watch other people play a game, leaving you stranded at a hospital. And then he has the audacity to be mad at you for interrupting him watching a game. Dump him now. You mean nothing to him and he has proven that. You don't have a partner. You have a monster."

the end yeah i wasn't expecting the monster comment yeah well and like he was like i feel like she got gaslit a little bit where she was like i know i don't understand she did feel really bad understand football culture and like this is a really big deal and it's like no like my partner is in music if he had a music performance that night and he was actually performing but i had emergency surgery you bet your ass he would leave that show would be canceled

Yeah, and this was in, I forget where it was. It was in Europe somewhere. I think the United Kingdom. Yeah, and I remember seeing some comments that people were from UK and they're like, this actually is not even surprising. People are go, people lose their minds over these games. Yeah. Well, and like, so there's like a bunch of comments on this post too. It's like you moved it. Someone comments, you moved in with him after six months. He doesn't let you see his friends.

And then like some other stuff. And she's like, I see my friends though, just not his. And they reply back. Sounds like he has a side girl since you aren't allowed to meet his friends then. That's not true. He would never cheat. That's what OP said. So does she have an update? So yeah, this is obviously why I'm bringing this up.

So she ends up posting this post. The original one was nine months ago and she ends up posting around the holidays during Christmas time four months ago. And she says, am I the asshole for making Christmas all about me, me, me, fiance, male 40 and I female 27 spent Christmas with his family, mom, dad, sister, and her husband and three kids.

Also, did you notice that he's a fiancé now? Wow. No, I missed that. He was partner last time and now she's been upgraded. Wow. Fiancé.

I am an expat, and where I'm from, we celebrate on Christmas Eve. So fiancé and I exchange presents at home on the eve. Christmas Day at fiancé's family's place started with breakfast and stockings and presents. I had gotten everyone something traditional from where I am from. For the adults, I'd gotten animal skins. When Jane opened her present, she didn't say anything and just put it aside. I felt a little bad, but I know she is not vegetarian."

I didn't mind there was nothing for me because they had invited me to their house and they did not know me from before. But I was the only one not opening presents that morning. So fiancé mentioned we had already done that the night before.

Sister asked lots of questions about how we celebrate Christmas, so I told them all about it, and I told her kids some folklore. I had also brought some traditional pies and dumplings I made with me. During the late lunch, Jane at some point mentioned that she had always seen fiancé with a nice English girl, and that, quote, this one is certainly quite different. And I thought she rolled her eyes at me, but maybe I was a little self-conscious."

Boxing day, I was first up and so I got started with breakfast because Jane had worked so hard for dinner the day before. Jane walked into the kitchen and so I said, good morning. And she said, there's nothing good about this morning and that she had planned something else for breakfast and I should go wait somewhere else. I asked if she was sure I couldn't help and if everything was okay, but she did not say anything to me.

Joe and I were left in the kitchen, which is partner. That's the first time we've heard the name, I'm assuming.

Joe and I were left in the kitchen and he said Jane was upset over the quote stunt you pulled and that I should give her some time before apologizing if I planned to stick around. I was really shocked because I didn't understand what stunt that was and because I am engaged to be married. So of course I plan to stick around.

Oh my god! What is with this dude?

I didn't even say goodbye or thank you and I am now embarrassed by this. I told fiance about this and he said I was a bit over the top with trying to take over with my cooking and doing presents beforehand. Again with the gaslighting. Fiance said he wanted to stay away from it and doesn't want to take sides. I feel so unwelcome to my new family and I did not mean to make everyone upset, especially on Christmas. I really did not mean to be the asshole here, but I have offended people and it seems that within family.

this poor girl am i the asshole for making christmas about me no why didn't you listen to us last time why are you still there i hate you just ah oh sweetie what did you click the first time and i feel so she just sounds through her writing she just sounds so innocent and sweet and it makes me so mad there's a lot of

naiveness here. How old is she? Naivety. Naiveness. She is 27 and he is 40, which I know age gaps can be good, but this one speaks a lot. Like, especially since he used you're younger. So you're going to have to understand. No, shut up. You need to accept British culture or go back to your country. Sounds like there's a little bit of racism in this one too. Yeah, literally. I mean, what? Why? Why would you just say that to your fiancee?

or leave. That is just such a, that's such a toxic way to deal with a fight. Why are you letting your fiance get bullied by your family? Yeah. She was trying to do a nice gesture. And if you can't recognize that, that that was a nice gesture and you're automatically assuming the worst of your partner that, oh, you tried to make it about you. You brought gifts and tried to make it about you. If you're assuming the worst in your partner, be with them. Yeah. Why'd you propose? Yeah.

And so she does edit because he knows that he can manipulate her and that's and he likes the power and he likes the control because he's a little bitch. This is what this is. So she goes edit. Please don't call my fiance the asshole because of my previous post here. We have resolved. Too late. Sorry. Sorry. He fucking sucks. Sorry, girl. He deserves to fall in a sewer. We have resolved an old argument, moved on and gotten engaged since. He is a good man for me.

Top comment on this one. Your fiance is going to be the asshole husband if he lets his family treat you this way for normal culture misunderstandings. Yeah, OP, do you want a man who says stay out of it? Oh, yeah, OP, do you want a man who stays out of it and lets his family treat you this way for possibly the rest of your life? Why be with a man who doesn't have your back? Agreed.

And OP replies to that one. He goes, I think you were just saying this because you saw maybe a post I made here before about an argument we had about football. But try to judge him based on what he knows. He is staying out of it because he doesn't like arguments. And that is okay. He is a good man. And someone goes, we are judging him on this post alone. Letting racist family members treat you badly is not what a good man does. Mm-hmm.

Hold on. You're engaged and this is the first time you're meeting your fiancé's family? Also, what the fuck is that stick around comment? This was the first time I was meeting his sister and her family. Third time I was meeting his mom and dad. Sorry if it wasn't clear about that. They aren't super close. Someone goes, the British way? The country that colonized most of the world? That's such hogwash. Uh...

These comments, they're pretty good. Yeah. Pretty on point. I know. I'm trying to find something. I feel like there was another thing happening here. He's a good man for me, but just doesn't like arguments. No, he doesn't like when you try to stir the pot or have an opinion or have feelings or have a voice. My fiance voted Brexit, but it was before we met. We really don't talk about it, but sure, it does bother me a bit.

He is pretty proud to be British though, and he is quite a traditional conservative. So I think he voted Brexit because of British values and not because he doesn't like foreign people. So when I was traveling, I met a French guy, and I also met these two guys from the UK. And the French guy was just notorious for talking shit about everyone. It was hilarious. It was in a humorous way, so it was great. He would always joke that he knows English better than I do, and it's his third language. Yeah.

So just as an example. So anyway, he was saying to the two guys when he met them, two guys from the UK, he's like, Jesus, I feel so bad for you guys because of Brexit. And they're like, you know that it's bad when a French guy is feeling bad for somebody from UK. You know it's bad. Yeah. I was dying laughing. I know. Well, it's like...

We don't typically get into politics in the weeds of things here, but I know a lot of people make comparisons of like Boris Johnson and Trump and how like Brexit was kind of the same thing as like make America great again. And it's like, okay, I see what the underlying message is with both of them. So here's the kicker.

Not the asshole, but wow, are you really, really sure about this relationship? Most people have some asshole relatives, so I'm not judging your fiance based on his sister and her husband's actions, but his avoidance of the situation and then trying to turn the blame on you is a major concern. I'm afraid that if you continue this relationship, you will be facing a future of giving up your cultural identity and not getting to pass your heritage on to your possible future children in the name of keeping the peace.

His lack of support for you in this situation seems like a harbinger of things to come. And OP responds, I am actually pregnant. My children will learn to speak my language, but I do want them to also learn about their English heritage. I think it is best for a girl not to come between a man and his mom. I wouldn't want to cause an argument between them. First of all, you're a woman.

a girl to come between a man and his mom second of all your man needs to be able to have boundaries with his mom like what's not clicking sweetie well especially now that they're starting a family of their own yeah this is very sad very very sad to me i just think like it's one of those things that she is deserving of being with someone who treats her nicely who values her who doesn't

like squash her and who she is if I had a different culture than the person I was dating I would hope that we could mesh our lives together and include everything like my mom and my dad kind of did that where like my dad was Jewish my mom is not and so we grew up doing it all we grew up lighting the menorah still but we also had a Christmas tree so it's just very unfortunate because I think the more you know and the more you let into your life and your heart like

There's so much to enjoy there. I just don't understand why she keeps writing in because it's almost like I feel like she knows that

Everyone hates him? Well, I feel like she knows that she's not the asshole in this situation. Why is she asking us? What is she looking for? I don't think she has anyone to turn to. But she wants to be the asshole. That's what's confusing to me. She's like, am I the asshole? And everyone's like, no. And she's like, no, no, no, I am. I am. And it's like, no, you're not. Because that's what gaslighting and abuse does to people. You start believing it. And I think, you know, I don't know where she's from. I don't know what her culture is. And a cultural thing could be where...

In some cultures, women are more submissive. Women don't rock the boat. Women don't have a voice. They're just homemakers in some cultures, in some areas of the world, whatever. And so I think maybe that's a traditional norm for her where she's like, no, my husband, he's nice. Like, it's fine. He is a good man. He just doesn't like to argue.

So I don't know. And I think... I guess, what is she looking for, though? Does she want people to be like, you're the asshole, and then she can feel good about being the asshole? Yeah. I think she wants someone to, like, put it into perspective. I truly think she's one of those girls who doesn't have...

a lot of friends like she sounds very closed off to me because she's turning to reddit and i bet the friends that she does have have probably already told her you need to leave this man and so she can't go back to them with these the same problems because they're just going to be like we told you yeah before you were pregnant but now now reddit's doing that she should have created a new profile yeah she should have done a new throwaway yeah she really but just ridiculous

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Visit Safeway.com for more details. Moving along. Moving along. So there's a couple of stories we have tried to get edits on that I've messaged these people so many times. Two of which, am I the asshole for calling out my kid's future stepmom for treating me like a surrogate? That was the story about a woman who was dating a guy for a little bit. She got pregnant with twins. He went and got back together with his ex-girlfriend, Kim. Cuckoo Kim.

And Kim was treating her like a surrogate, even going so far as to post on Facebook and being like, we're welcoming twins via a surrogate. Like she was bonkers. And so she ended up like on the last update she left us at.

she was going to um leave the state and make sure she didn't have her babies in the same state and like try to stay away from kim and joe yeah the guy and um it was just bad like kim showed up at her work screaming at her like saying she ruined her life like all this crazy shit and a lot of people thought that um kim went so far and joe went so far as to like do this on purpose and

But this was posted a year ago now. I've messaged three, four times and no response, no updates that I've seen and no new comments on the post either. Like trying to just like maybe be OP, like can't post a new update, can't edit. So here's blah, blah, blah. So nothing like that. So that's one. The next one is, of course, the infamous post.

And I've messaged both box stories, the olive box story where it had to do with the fridge and the new tampon box story. And neither person have replied. And I, again, messaged an obsessive amount. And so I feel really weird. They're like, now that you're putting out a podcast, God damn. I know. I'm like going to the tampon one just to make sure because I checked last night and it still wasn't there. But...

Yeah, last edit is I've read a few comments. I don't know why people assume there aren't tampons in the tampon box, which now that I'm thinking about it, I don't think I read the tampon box story on the show. I think it was the live show. And so this was, it was a story called, Am I the Asshole for Touching My Wife's Tampon Box? And so this man was cleaning stuff. He moved the tampon box from like a closet to like a bedroom or something. And the wife flipped out and was like, don't touch my tampon box. And so people were like, what's in the box?

There's not tampons in that box. Like what's in there? And so no response, no comments, no message back. We do have an update on the story. I found out my partner has been putting slugs in my food. I don't know how to forgive him. That one was wild. That one was terrible. Yeah. Absolutely terrible. Especially what...

what slugs can do to a person they can kill a person like so many people were commenting on the youtube on that one just being like this is so dangerous people can literally die from eating slugs they have died like some i think it was a man that ate a slug as a part of like a challenge and he ended up dying wow we have an update though we do have an update

So I think we left off about he kind of came clean. Like he admitted to all these things. He swapped her vegetarian sausages with real meat. He put one of her giant African land snails.

into a smoothie she assumed it had escaped but he said he it died so he scrapped scraped it out and put it in my curry he also rubbed my toothbrush on the toilet and then washed it as he thought it was too far it felt like it was all a dream and it just feels too dramatic to be real i'm unsure what is happening on the legal front he says he didn't know why he did this and that he does love me truly and that he felt compelled to do it which i understand as i suffer from ocd and get compulsions slash impulsions

and that he really loves taking care of me, and he feels it's his purpose, and he didn't mean to cause serious harm. He promises he never did anything to our animals. I think he could just be stressed as I have mental health issues. That could have caused something in him to break from too much stress. I'm really, really sad and sorry for those who I cause concern. What did he say the reason was that he did this? Did he give a reason? He was just like... Impulsions. But why did he even tell her? Did he have an impulse to tell her?

If she wouldn't have ever known, then why did he decide to come clean? So he didn't come clean. He was telling a friend and would send a friend pictures of like the slugs and all this stuff. And so the friend came into her work and said, hey, I have something to tell you. And this girl, I mean, it went so far as not only was he putting slugs in her meals and her own pet in her curry, but

But he went so far as to switch out an important heart medication with like salt. Oh my God. So he was causing life-threatening harm. So I don't think I read this, but it goes on to say, just found a jar of four slugs under the sink. My partner must have forgot about. I think they are dead, so can be old ones, but I feel physically sick. And then she actually posted a picture of the slugs. Oh my God. The slugs are...

are the most disgusting thing i've ever seen and he was putting those in her food yep what the fuck this is this is not just compulsion impulsion this is this is like serial killer serious stuff this is serial killer yeah so that was it it was just that title i feel physically sick and then a picture of the slugs um op please update us tell us you dumped him and went to a doctor and op goes i have left him at the doctor now it's very busy so i haven't been seen yet

Oh, she's real, real uptight or real updates. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just real time updates. She was very in it. In the comments, many are asking if she had gone to a doctor. She has and has revealed that he did more than feed the slugs.

And then people are just like, please stop blaming yourself, this and that. So in the comments somewhere on that post, OP says this. Hi, he was diagnosed with ASPD yesterday and admitted everything to me and how I was his way of looking normal to the outside world. He manipulated me by giving me everything I wanted as a bipolar disorder sufferer. Love, affection, compliments. ASPD for those that don't know is antisocial personality disorder. Got it. I actually didn't know, so I was going to ask.

He began testing me emotionally at first with cheating to see how I would react, but I forgave him and then began with food and stuff to see how long until I got sick. I'm still baffled. The person I knew, I never really knew at all. He is a psychopath and he gives ASPD sufferers a bad name. He knew I was vulnerable due to my mental and physical illnesses. He became my carer, but...

Oh, that is so scary. And that is actually a good point because, red flag, if you are in a really abusive situation and you meet a guy who you feel like rescues you from that...

Be weary. Just that's all I got to say. Put your guard up. Put your guard up. And I get like being in a bad situation and needing help. But like someone coming in playing a white knight like

Yeah, like rescuing you and then like instantly having like, yeah, like romantic love bombing. You're my soulmate. Yeah, just be a little weary. It could be real. It could be totally true and everything could be great, but it could be this slug situation. So keep your guard up. Keep your guard up so you don't eat a fucking slug. Yeah, this is so crazy. So next post was titled, I'm struggling to eat fear of food slash no appetite. I recently left a weird relationship was with

where my partner was contaminating my food, etc. Anyways, ever since I've struggled to eat. I moved into a ground flat and sometimes I will find slugs around the house. I am terrified of them. I keep throwing food away because I don't know what the slugs have gone on. I'm scared of getting sick. I can't cope or breathe right now. I've tried everything to stop slugs getting in. Copper tape, salt, non-toxic pellets, but they still somehow find their way into my flat.

I feel like nature is tormenting me. Any advice, please? I have tried speaking to my doctor, but they won't really listen. And the doctor I see said it was a good thing as I was overweight anyways. I was just discharged from the mental health team I was currently on. The fuck? Did the doctor just say? Fuck that doctor. What the hell? Drop the clinic. Let's go. Oh my god. We ride at dawn. I hate when medical professionals...

that are supposed to be super trustworthy say some bullshit like that. Absolute assholes.

Absolute assholes. No one should get fat shamed at the doctor. Absolutely not. If anything, it's like he should be like, hey, like there's healthy ways to do X, Y, Z. That's great. Healthy advice. But don't be like, oh, you can't eat because you were tormented by slugs before. That's good. Good for you. Well, I'd be happy about that. What the fuck? I just watched an episode of or a clip of it's the show about the two sisters, like

my 600 pound or like thousand pound sisters or something it's about two sisters and they're just they're very overweight and unhealthy and they were at a dietician's office like trying to get advice or get an opinion whatever it was and the dietician goes how much water do you drink and they go water we don't drink water

We drink pop. Our mom told us water was bad. Oh, no. And the dietician was very surprised. You could tell she was surprised. But she didn't them, like, shame them. She was just like, oh, well, okay, well, you should be drinking water. Like, water is not bad for you. Like, we need to get more water. It wasn't like... I also love the pop reference and not soda. I know. People are going to be confused. In Minnesota, we say pop instead of soda. Just so that we don't confuse people with thinking we're talking about Minnesota. Yeah.

yeah that was a that was a joke it was a really bad one yeah i didn't get it no we don't say soda because it sounds like minnesota oh people are people use soda as talking about minnesota you don't hear that no i've never heard that one you've never heard people say soda as minnesota yeah like oh yeah okay it's a clothing brand there we go yeah so i'm saying that's why we say pop but it's it was a bad joke so i'm gonna run that back all right let's move along so next post is i am alive

hello everyone sorry for those who i didn't get to message back my messages have been so full i am alive but have been sick with coronavirus thank you for those who reached out to me you all made me feel less alone i hope everyone is well and then her account is super super super active so as of yesterday they're still commenting on different posts throughout reddit very engaged in other things um

and commenting their advice to try to help other people. So it's really great to see like they're good, very active in mental health communities. It looks like based on her comments, very active on the Glitch in the Matrix community, just all good things for her. So happy update. Hopefully, you know, with a diagnosis, he can get the help he needs because, you know,

When you date someone, you're putting a lot of faith in them and you're trusting them. And he was able to play it off like he was a good guy taking care of her and lo and behold was poisoning her. I'm not very familiar with that diagnosis. Antisocial personality disorder. So I'm just going to do the Google definition because my brain won't do it justice. Okay.

People with ASPD may not understand how to behave towards others. Their behavior is often disrespectful, manipulative, or reckless. Management of ASPD can include medication or psychotherapy. A lot of people show symptoms in childhood but may not be diagnosed until adolescence or adulthood. They tend to lie, break laws, act impulsively. And this is WebMD. So obviously this may be the exception and not the rule.

but lack regard for their own safety or the safety of others. I can't believe I've never heard of this before. People with it often struggle to develop or maintain meaningful relationships, and they may cause emotional harm to their partners, but it's still possible for people with ASPD to feel love and empathy, often for a select few people, such as children, partners, or close family members. I don't know a lot about it either. It's not something I've really worked with. I've worked with mostly bipolar and schizophrenia. Mm-hmm.

But that's that one.

And then we are ending.

on for the update segment. These are not the updates you told me to look into. What? These aren't the updates you told me to look into last night. I did. I gave you Slug Boy. I said Slug Boy was with Drew. Slug Boy, that one. Yes. And then the next one you should know. Okay. So this story started with a post called I keep meeting my birth mom, but she doesn't know it's me. Okay. And so this was a story about a person that was adopted and

and when they turned 18 ended up tracking down their birth mom or like finding out where she was and they're 24 now and so they found out where their mom was their birth mom was working and they would show up to this diner and eat at the diner and like interact with you know their birth mom and

the birth mom obviously had no idea. And so they kept wrote it like they wrote the post and was like, and it's like she knows me already because I'm there once or twice a week for the past three months or so and always says hi with a big smile. But man, but man, if she only knew. And so people really, really encouraged him to tell her. People were like, I reconnected with my daughter. I gave up for adoption and I used to sit at the park she played at.

All the time hoping I would see her. And guess what? She actually played at that park and grew up five minutes down the road from me. And so, so many birth moms wrote in with their stories and were encouraging him to reach out. He reached out.

He showed up one night when she was leaving with the letter. And all he had to do was, like, pull up the letter. And she, like, knew instantly and started crying. Oh, I'm going to cry. They just, like, talked for hours. She, like, opened the restaurant back up. They went in and talked for hours. And they ended up, like, having plans to, like, have dinner and, like, get to know each other more. That's so sweet. And she ended up, like, contacting...

his birth father and was kind of going to help arrange a meetup. So the last we left off was people writing in and saying, please update us if you meet your bio dad, like we want to know. And he met his bio dad. So the title is met my biological dad for the first time ever. And I'm very happy about it. Lots of you asked and I,

Lots of you asked to let you know how it goes meeting my bio dad and to say it was emotional is an understatement. I've been feeling so many things since this all happened. We met a few days ago. Was originally supposed to be almost two weeks ago, but shit kept coming up. Work and then I got sick, not COVID, for days, but we made it happen.

To be honest, this was more nervous for me because I didn't know anything about him. With my bio mom, it was different because I watched her from afar and got to know her a little before it came out. I asked my bio mom if she could be there too, just because she knows him better. So it was the two of us waiting for him at this park.

He was already crying before we even got to him. This guy is strong too. So he pulled me in for the biggest bear hug and crying. He told me he wants me to know that they loved me so much and he loves me.

I lost count how many times he'd come back in for one more hug. This definitely got to him, and he kept saying, "Thank you, God," a few times, looking at my face. The feeling man? The feelings? Dot dot dot? We had so many of them. Hearing him tell me how much they loved me even back then, it meant so much to me to hear that, and not gonna lie, that had me holding him tight too.

i'm sure to everyone at the park it was weird seeing three people crying lol now four my bio dad saw my bio dad said he cried so many times just driving over here he didn't think he had any more tears until he saw us when we were all sitting down it hit me that my bio mom was not lying when she said we look alike obviously he's older but holy shit the similarities

he brought gifts too which was a surprise it was really nice he told me i didn't have to keep them if i don't want it but he felt weird not coming with anything and he's wanted to give this to me for a long time

One was a teddy bear holding a picture frame of him at the hospital holding me. He was 15 years old. It's crazy to realize that. And then the other thing was a journal. The journal thing was stuff he said he started writing me years after I was adopted. He was in therapy and that helped him to cope, thinking he would give them to me one day.

His way of still feeling connected to me. I haven't read everything yet, but some of the pages were his thoughts and like if he's talking to me. How he felt when they found out she was pregnant, then the adoption, everything going on in his mind when he first got to hold me as a baby. I didn't even know he was at the hospital too.

It was not what I was expecting. It really got me. I read some more of what he wrote last night that really got me crying. I'm sad to think how much this affected them emotionally for years. Also think it's pretty sweet he wanted to write this for me. We talked about his own life, which was pretty hard, his struggles with home life, and the feelings he had about giving me up. Then, he wanted to know everything about me, basically with the same questions my bio mom had.

I made sure they knew they made the right decision because my life was pretty great. He looked like he wanted to cry when he knew that because that's all they hoped for and it was something he always wondered about for years. My bio mom left a bit after. We were more comfortable so we could talk more in private once it didn't feel too awkward between us. From there...

He told me stories about how he met my bio mom. Sometimes he'd point out stuff he'd notice about me that reminds him of her or me and him having similar likes. Example, I love eating mangoes. I can eat them all day. And that's what I brought when we bought snacks at the park. He told me my bio mom was obsessed with mangoes since before she got pregnant. While pregnant, she craved it even more. Oh, wow.

Just cool info to know, even if it's random stuff, lol. It's still stuff we have in common and we both have lots. We both love hiking, playing pool. He was a swimmer in college and I was on a swim team in high school. We both love rock music, especially 90s. My bio dad was really open about sharing everything. Like he really was getting ready for this meeting. He hoped it would happen and he prayed every day to see me again because he had so many things he wanted to tell me.

Overall, really good first meeting. I'm glad how it went. He's open to the idea of meeting my parents. After I told them about all of this, because they definitely want to meet my bio parents again if I'm comfortable with that. Obviously, my bio parents are too. Let's see what happens. I don't know how it's going to feel for me. They've met each other before I was even born, but I never had them at the same place. So it'll be interesting. LOL.

Me and my parents met up yesterday to have breakfast so I could tell them everything. My mom was so happy how it went. She actually cried too when I was telling them about both of their reactions. My dad was proud because he knew how hard it was the months after finding my bio mom and not really wanting to make the contact yet.

I'm really happy to have their support because it's hard to not feel guilty about wanting to know more about my bio parents. They gave me a really good life. So for a while, it's felt like maybe to them, I'm showing them that wasn't good enough for me and I'd rather have my bio parents. But they told me many times they want me to do this for me and they know how much I love them. And I really do.

Finding them and meeting them was hard, but it was so worth it to me. And seeing their reactions made it feel even more worth it. I still can't believe it sometimes. I'm just realizing this turned into a long post. My bad. Writing this has been therapeutic, to be honest. Kind of thinking back to everything that's happened, feeling really grateful. Again, I want to say thank you to everyone who has been on this journey with me. Everyone who sent me their own stories, their love, their encouragement. You guys have been

Oh, God. It's the last line that gets me. I was doing so good.

I wasn't the entire way through. Oh, no, there's one left. I can't even get to it. Oh, God. It's because of you. There are kids out there like me who got to have a great life with loving parents.

That's it. Oh my God. This is the most beautiful story that you have ever read on the show. I know. It was so, so remarkable. I was not prepared for that at all. Like I wasn't prepared to cry, but it was just so sweet. I think like hearing stories like that when it's just everybody all around is just, just a beautiful heart. The parents, the bio parents. Yeah. The kid. It's just beautiful.

Yeah, that really choked me up. It's amazing. And it also is so interesting just when you hear the similarities, like the mango and stuff like that and like the 90s music that they like. I've told this on the show before, but I had a CPA who's found out that he had a brother on the East Coast. And he also was a CPA and he also loved to write on his free time.

And so it's just really, it's really interesting to hear how, you know, the nature versus nurture and what kind of comes out when they have had nothing to do with each other yet they still have these similarities. It's really cool. I think it's like, it's so much of both. Yeah. And hearing stories like that, like that, the guy didn't even know his brother, but yet,

they're the same type of people to pick the same type of career they both like to write and i think there was something about the with a felt pen they only write in felt pens yeah which is like he's like i don't know anyone who writes in a felt pen besides me like that's just so specific yeah it's like i think yeah okay you could be like oh it's chance but like no like i think there's so much that like our genes can encourage us to do and be but i

This was amazing. OP is like super responsive in all of the comments and stuff. It's just it's amazing. That's incredible. I'm looking at one post and like OP goes off on someone. They go I'm adopted. Honestly everything you've said so far is total BS. What? Yeah they're like they're commenting on another post on Reddit titled am I the asshole for refusing to let my ex visit my son anymore when I found out her husband wanted him to call him dad and

And so OP is very, very engaged. Of course. Yeah. Very engaged on Reddit. This is like their actual account. I misunderstood. I thought you were saying that somebody commented on OP saying that. No, no, no. I was like, what the fuck? No. So this is just, they're very engaged on Reddit. So I could- Aw.

I could see an update coming down the road. So if you do want to follow along on their journey and like see if any other updates come up, the username is NoDinnerInvite and you could always follow along on his journey. Beautiful. B-U-T-F-L. Beautiful. B-E-A-U-T-F-L.

Okay, moving on to the second half of this episode because it is titled Updates and Do-Overs. And this is where things could get a little dicey for us.

And I don't know, I'm like kicking myself. I'm like, why did I offer this? Like, why did I volunteer as tribute? Well, because people requested it from you. And then I also like a week ago, I was texting Morgan and I was saying that there is this take that I had that I'm still kicking myself over.

I think one of the things that I realized with this show is that I don't know if people forget, but this is a blind reaction show. So sometimes initial reactions, knee-jerk reactions are coming from our own traumas. And then when we take a step back,

look at it from another perspective, then we might have a different take. I also think with that too, what's hard for me about these Reddit stories, there's so much detail and so many issues with them. And so I think, you know, stories that I think about where my take hasn't really been

with what everyone else thinks or with the majority I think a lot of times I pick out one problem of the whole problem right because there's so many many problems in this whole in these stories and so I will pick out one problem and that's what I kind of fixate on while forgetting about the rest or not like acknowledging it in the way that I should agreed and so it is hard it's a it's a lot of pressure coming on this show and like even doing the live premieres with people like I

depending on who you have on and sitting next to you they might say something that then triggers a thought or a new opinion for you so like even watching the live premieres that we do on youtube with you guys i'll comment along and be like oh my god like yes that makes so much more sense or oh wow like yeah now that you mention it i think this it's just like

feedback and learning and getting feedback or comments is like how we come to these conclusions or opinions so it's interesting i mean the whole premise of this show is yeah it's super interesting and that's one of the things too is that this topic that we decided to do but i was like i said i was texting morgan i was like there is this one take that i had that i just feel so

guilty about. It haunts you. It haunts me. So the story Lauren is talking about, it came from our holiday Reddit stories. And it's the story about the mom...

who had a husband or a partner that stole her money or money that was being saved for her kids to have a good Christmas. And he took it and gave it to his brother so that his brother could pay his baby mama child support. And so I think you and what's interesting is you and Justin had a similar take, but you were the one that got the flack for it.

it's because I went in and that's why after I said it's funny because I in in my little rant I was like and I stand by that and when I listen back I was like no you don't take it take it back bitch back yeah but no it's it's because I went in like on one focus and that's the thing is that when we say for example when she says am I the asshole for yelling to my kids that their father ruined Christmas

Well, she is specifically asking this one question where it's like was the dad an asshole? Absolutely. Like all these other dynamics. What did she work her ass off? Was she a superhero mom trying to provide for her children and she had one moment of just like she could have maybe Communicated it a little bit better Sure, so like I fixated on the question, right and I felt so bad because within that I was like Oh, that's so selfish of her and I went in on that and the thing is is that

I was reacting. My knee jerk reaction was from my own inner child. And my I've had these experiences when I was younger where I had adults yell at me or to me about another about another adult.

And it really hurt me a lot. This was your two parents, wasn't it? Your parents basically like talking shit about each other? Yeah. And I love them. They're like, they're amazing. They're incredible. And they've done so many amazing things. Parents are still human. Exactly. And I don't think that... I don't think this woman is a bad person at all. I just think that in general, there's a better way because I know how much it hurt and affected me. And that was just from a very young age that I...

really was triggered by being yelled to about other people. So... So, when it comes to this story and the mom and all of this, like, your opinion hasn't really changed. Well, I... I mean, what I would say is that my... I know what I was trying to say, but my... The way you said it probably... The way I said it, I think, was really wrong because what... The thing is, is that this mother was under so much pressure. She was...

trying to provide a beautiful Christmas for her children. And I don't blame her at all for snapping. And I don't think that she's a bad person. The only reason that

And that's why I regret using the word selfish because being a mother in itself, all you do is be selfless. All you do is think about another person. And so I think that's where like it really like it killed me is that I was just going in on calling her selfish when it's just like, no, you're literally a selfless person. You're all you're thinking about is giving your children like the happiest Christmas and you got wronged. Somebody robbed from you. Yeah. And he really did like rob your children's Christmas. Yeah.

So, but I think what I did is that I fixated on just like my own experience of being hurt whenever I was yelled to about another adult when I was a kid. And instead of like looking at the bigger picture and acknowledging that this mom is a badass and that she should leave her husband now. Yeah, I hope she did. That was probably one we should have looked for an update on. I agree, actually. Because I messaged her too. I messaged and I was like,

Hey, is there any way we could... She probably hates me now.

No, but that's right. We were talking about sending Christmas presents to yeah to them and her children I know and even like I know obviously your your opinion is kind of like she shouldn't have said it It could have been better Well, I and honestly, I think she still should have told her children like your dad did this and I don't agree with it And this is why like we're not gonna have the same Christmas that I was planning on and i'm so sorry about that I'm gonna do everything to still make it exciting and happy for you

but this is going to be between me and your dad. I'm going to figure it out. And like, that is like, and who knows how it came across when it was actually going down or like how the kids interpreted it. So, well, they started crying and they ran to the room. You don't remember that? Did they? I have, so I have the story pulled up now. But like I said, it doesn't make her a bad person at all. I probably would have done the same fucking thing. I'd be so pissed dealing with that. So,

The kids came in and I just told them that unfortunately, I can't afford Christmas this year. And it's because their dad who took it away from them by taking the money I saved. There was utter silence and my husband glanced at me in disbelief.

He told the kids to go to their rooms and screamed, asking what the fuck is wrong with me to spout this kind of bullshit in front of the kids. Oh, wow. Okay. I was wrong. I was also, that was the end of an episode and that's when we were drinking more. So it is hard. The drunker you get, the little wilder like we all get. Definitely misinterpreted that story. Okay. That actually is not that bad then. No. It's kind of what you just said. Yeah. That's exactly what I just said. I thought she like screamed at them.

so basically i'm the asshole yes moral of the story is that lauren is the asshole on that take but i'm asshole we're we're just getting started this is the first this is the first one we got but wrong i'm sorry you guys honestly though please forgive me i really did kick myself for that take but lauren what what's the name of the show it's two soft takes

I know, basically. It's too soft takes today. No, I just think it's interesting. And again, this is why I didn't want to do this portion of the episode because some of my opinions really haven't changed. And yes, maybe our opinions don't always change. But we try not to get too in the weeds with comments because we want to keep it... I don't want to let the comments affect my head going forward. Exactly. We want to still be ourselves as much as possible. And we know that we're not always going to...

fit everybody's liking. Palette. I think what's good though is to like, sometimes when we see what you guys say, it's good to reflect. Like that's how we grow. That's how we think. And we're like, okay, I could see that perspective. Another one that's really, um,

feathers or like surprising people, I should say, because it was a somewhat shocking take was another story from Teffy's episode. And it was the story about the dad asking, like, am I the asshole for making my wife think our son was kidnapped?

And so this is a story that the dad had been with the mom and their little baby and they were driving to a subway and he was like, pick the subway with the drive through because then, you know, we don't have to take the baby out of the car and blah, blah, blah. And the wife turned to him and said, no, like you can leave the baby in the car. We're just running in quick. It's fine. And he confronted her and said, don't leave the baby in the car. Not OK. OK.

Sure enough, a couple months or weeks later, he's driving home and he happens to spot her car at a gas station. And he's like, oh, great. Like, I'll pull in, get some snacks with them. This will be good. He walks past her car or up to her car and finds the baby in the backseat with the car unlocked. So he takes the baby out of the car, puts the baby in his car and sits there and waits for his wife to come out of the store.

It takes about six minutes and she looks around, starts absolutely panicking, reaches for her phone. And at that point, he drives up, opens the back, you know, back car door to show our child is right here. Fight ensues. She immediately goes on the defensive and starts playing the victim. You shouldn't have done that to me. Blah, blah, blah, blah. That was that was abusive or whatever she says. And he's like, no, like this is not OK. I've told you before.

So he gets on Reddit to ask if he's an asshole. Majority said not the asshole. Majority were down for this. Update comes out. He confronts her. Turns out she is struggling with some postpartum depression, postpartum issues. They're going to get help. Until then, she's not going to be allowed to run errands or be left alone taking care of the baby. So Teffy, which I feel bad doing this one because she's not here to like explain her take or where her head was at.

But I will say, after the episode stopped recording, her manager was like, Teffy, like, what the fuck? Like, no, you can't leave a baby in a car. And Teffy literally said, no, I know. Absolutely not. You cannot leave a baby in the car. But...

I think what she, and again, this is kind of what we said, where we hear these stories and we pick out one part of it. She was upset over the treatment of the mom. And again, this is where people are back and forth where some people are, no, that was fair. Like she needed a harsher lesson because just talking to her hadn't worked. But I think in her head, she looks at that and it's like,

That's why she made the ultimatum comments. She was like, I would rather him give her an ultimatum and say, you do this again, we're getting divorced. She would rather have that than, again, she's not here to defend herself, so I'm speculating, which is probably unfair. But I think she looked at it as, that's not how two partners should treat each other. And I would rather him give her an ultimatum and say, you know what? You do this one more time, one more time, and we are getting divorced.

versus kidnap the baby and make her panic. And that's why she mentioned the comment about her cat being like, I lose my cat for 15 minutes and I panic. I think I put him in the dryer. Like, I don't know where he is. So I think she really was stuck on that. I'm back and forth on this one myself.

And I didn't really get to say much because off camera and something that got cut, we were interrupted right before I read this story. And we got told by someone, hey, you have five minutes left and then Teffy's got to go. So and I also had seven other people in the room watching us. It was probably the which we never do. It's so funny. There's no one here. Like we're sitting in my office in the middle of the day by ourselves. Like we don't have an audience. So I think having guests come on, it's really fun to get other takes because

but it's meant to be like a one-off like they just come on for one episode they're not meant to be recurring like sarah shower was kind of um an amazing thing that she did come on twice but guests are hard for me it's harder to like bicker or like kind of fight not fight banter back and forth with someone you don't know like i try to create a really comfortable environment for guests and

That being said, going forward, I do want to find a way where I can still articulate my takes and not feel like it's confrontation and not feel like it's going to make the situation uncomfortable. But I'm working on that. I have a hard time with this because I just like want like I want to make friends with everyone that comes on. And so it's like it's just it's hard for me sometimes. I'm going to work on it, though. I'll fucking fight the next guest. Don't you worry. But so with this one, that being said.

I go back and forth. I do think if like that's the way you want to handle things in your life, it's justified. Like you're not the asshole for doing it. A baby shouldn't be left in a fucking car unless it's like you're at the gas station pump pumping gas and you leave your baby in a car or like I guess if you're like a lot of people in the comments were like if you're running in for 30 seconds, that's one thing and you lock the door and blah blah blah. But like obviously not on a hot day. Babies die really fast in hot cars. Cars get hot after like

I don't know what the people were doing the study for dogs where they would like shut the car, put all the windows up and within like three minutes, the car was 120 degrees or something crazy like that. So obviously not on hot days without AC. Like I guess like moral of the story, don't leave your baby in the car. But yeah, I don't know. But I go back and forth with how he handled it because obviously,

immediately after this, she's playing the victim. She's being defensive. She's like, did she learn anything? Because when we're like, she's in fight or flight mode now. She's not in a rational place where she can intake information and be like,

You're right. I fucked up. I was wrong. She's in fight or flight mode. Our brains and our cognitive thinking parts of our brain really shut down. You're in survival mode at that point. She's not even thinking clearly to interpret that information of what just really happened. And so for me, I feel that if he would have taken the baby out of the car, she was in that store for six minutes. I would have like parked the baby by the counter and watched her in the store. And then when she got up there, Ben like,

Do you know how fucking easy it was for me to get our child out of the car? And I've been sitting in here watching you lollygag around this store looking for a fucking snack for six minutes. Six minutes. A person who could have kidnapped our kid could be on a highway 10 miles away by now.

Yeah. And he's gone. And do that in front of people. Embarrass her. Yeah. But she's not then immediately like panic mode, fight or flight, can't interpret information. Right. And so I think that's like where my head's at. Yeah. Not the asshole if that's how you want to do it. But I think there's a more powerful way. Yeah, I agree. And like we've we've talked about that, too, with when we were talking about Will Smith, like it.

what Chris Rock said, like he was being an asshole, right? But like Will Smith, could there have been a better way that you addressed that?

And could it have been more impactful? Could it have taught... It would have embarrassed Chris Rock more if he went up and said like some like witty little like fuck you comment in the microphone. And it would have instead now like Chris is like the victim, right? Yeah. So it's like, but however... Chris has a learning disorder. Oh, yeah. Right. Like Chris actually has a learning disorder that doesn't... It doesn't allow him to tell when people are like upset with him. It's almost like a...

Like similar to with autism where autism have like difficulty interpreting other emotions sometimes. It's a similar thing where Chris Rock has a hard time telling if people are like actually mad at him. Right. But there's a bunch of shit coming out with that. And it's the whole situation is fucking messy. Yeah. But but my point in that is just that like knee jerk reactions when you're panicked, when you're in pain, when you're whatever it is, you know, like Will Smith, he went up and slapped Chris.

somebody in the face and then the next day he felt horrible and like came out with this apology because he's like violence is never what i want to never what i want no that was assault yeah so like with this this story specifically was the husband's way of doing things the best possible way no no it wasn't the best possible way but some people it is well and that's what i loved it what i was gonna say is that i i

I can't lie. I would honestly, if I was, if my husband did that after I told him not to and then I saw that happen, I would probably do the same thing. But I like, but like just, I would be like, he was probably fuming inside, right? Like he's probably shaking, like seeing that and then he takes the baby and he's just like, he can't even think of anything. Kind of like what you said, fight or flight, what she was, what she responded to is how he was responding to seeing the baby. So his, his action wasn't the most like thought out, best possible way to get through to her maybe. But,

I could see myself a hundred million percent doing that if my husband did that to me. Yeah, I mean, if you want, like, there's a bunch of ways to look at all of these issues. If you're going to look at it like black and white, not the asshole.

If you're going to look at it like an actual like real world person because nothing is ever black and white. Like there's a lot of gray area. And yeah, he's not wrong. But could it have been handled better? Right. Most things in life can be handled better. Yeah. It's really hard for us as humans to be able to just handle it perfectly like every time. Not going to happen. But some of the comments like Sam Oyen said, I agree with the dad. A child's safety is never negotiable. Sony.

May commie. Sorry. If I butcher anyone's names, I keep, I completely disagreed with Teffy with the baby in the car story. I don't even leave my dog in the car, let alone baby. I support the father on this. Uh, KT, even though the dad could and probably should have done it a little different or better, uh,

ig go in with the baby or wait outside holding them something tells me the mom wouldn't have actually changed her behavior without feeling that fear because she acknowledged the risk and agreed to her husband that she wouldn't do it at the end of the day the dad is just removing the child from an unsafe situation in any other scenario i hate quote teaching a lesson to people like this but a child's life was at risk and there was no sign of reasoning with her

Well, and that's the thing is that like it's one mistake and you might you might lose your child and that's terrifying. So it's like you don't really have room to be like, this is a little bit of a learning lesson, you know. So, yeah, I it's it's a tough one. It's a tough one.

There is one comment here that's not related to the story, but someone goes, I'm here to ask one more time for a pick me girls episode. And me and Lauren were talking about this last night. We were. And I want you guys to comment on the YouTube or our Instagram posts and tell us if we do a pick me girl episode and we're talking shit or like hot takes about pick me girls. Does that also make me pick me's? Because the whole point of a pick me girl is they put other girls down to pump themselves up.

So that's a question y'all need to answer. Honestly, that and when Morgan said that, I was like, whoa, because I'll see TikToks making fun of pick me girls. And it's like, wait a minute. You're right. Does that make you? But but I think the pick me girl is a little bit more complex because it's like a girl who's like trying to be a cool girl and just like putting other girls down or making herself look better compared to other girls. Like that's kind of what the vibe is.

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on personal care items at your local store. Now through August 27th, get extra discounts when you purchase participating items like Dove Beauty Bar, Dove Body Wash, Dove Men Plus Care Body Wash, or deodorant, Dove Shampoo, Trace-A-May Shampoo, and Axe Body Spray. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary.

Visit Safeway.com for more details. So the next story on the list that I have came from a marriage episode with my brother and sister-in-law. And the story that we got wrong was a story about a man who he wrote into the subreddit, surviving infidelity. And it was a story about him saying,

And his fiancé. And the fiancé ended up having a male stripper at her bachelorette party. Unbeknownst to her. Like, the friends planned it. Fiancé didn't know. However, prior to that night, the fiancé and the man that wrote in had already set a boundary. No strippers. We're not going to do strippers. It's a boundary for us. It's a line. And so, he got told by...

the boyfriend of one of the girls. So like the fiance had a girlfriend, girlfriend told her boyfriend what they were planning to do. The boyfriend told the fiance, but he didn't say anything about it. And so we kind of got lost in the sauce of this one, like quite a bit, like me probably specifically. But I think what a lot of people are upset with

Is the fact that he had a boundary. And the boundary was crossed. And we kind of like didn't give a fuck about that. Because what I fixated on in this story. Is the fact that he considered a stripper at her bachelorette party cheating. And so for me that's like what I kind of went in on. I think like my opinion has like...

grown to like recognize the whole story and not just that part so like yeah if that's a boundary for him that's that's fucked up that's a boundary if she truly didn't know that that that stripper was going to be there that's shitty yeah because her friend sabotaged her totally and if she did know then that's even shittier because she had the boundary i'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and say she was completely surprised she wasn't the one that told him

He got told by, again, the boyfriend that was at his bachelor party because one of her friends sent him a picture of the strip dance and the dick being close to her face.

Which is shitty. That person would not be my friend anymore. Yeah. But she wasn't even the one that got the chance to tell him, which, again, sucks. But I don't think that says anything about her so much. Like, I feel like she maybe would have told him, but he found out before she even had the chance to. Yeah, I agree. I think that, um...

It was just a shitty situation how it played out, especially because they had a conversation beforehand, no strippers. But like you said, if the girl didn't know that the stripper was going to be there and they show up, was she going to lock herself in a room? No, you're just going to hang out with your friends, have fun. It doesn't mean anything. You're not attracted to this person. Or maybe you are, but assuming that you don't want to pursue a romantic relationship with this person. However, going back to boundaries, I do think that that is one thing that's interesting is that

With romantic relationships, it is a social construct in the terms of like what the terms are, right? Yeah. It's so different based on each couple. It's so different for everyone. Yeah. So for some people, looking at porn...

in a romantic relationship is cheating. And that is a conversation that they should have in the very beginning and then move forward. And if they both agree, that's great. If two people love to have threesomes, they love to go to sex parties and hook up with a bunch of different people and they still are romantically in love with each other and they agree upon that in the beginning of the relationship, that's not cheating, right? So it's like, it's all about like the terms that you have with your partner. And so...

If they discuss beforehand strippers equals cheating, then it's like, yeah, he thinks that she's cheating. But at the same time, she didn't have a say in this. She didn't go to a strip club on her own. And that's what's not fair to her. Yeah, I would agree with that. Unless she was like, it's strippers and like... Then that's shitty. Yeah. But yeah, no, I think there's, again, there's so much to unpack with these problems. So if you're going to like try to like separate it or like understand this thing overall...

Yes. Wrong. You set a boundary with your partner. It got crossed. It was crossed. Unfortunately, maybe was her fault. Maybe not her fault. But boundary was crossed. And you have a right to be upset. You're entitled to your feelings on that. However, again, kind of with what you said, some people think porn's cheating. Some people think strip clubs are cheating. If he's going to look at a stripper as cheating...

That's where I have to... Like, that's where I'm still on my take. I don't think going to a strip club or having a stripper at your bachelorette or bachelor party is automatically cheating. If he views it as that, he's entitled to that. He can feel however he wants to feel. I mean...

Me and Justin, you and Alejandra, we just went to a strip club in Austin, Texas when we were there performing a live show. Shout out the girl. Yes. One of the guys, this is the craziest experience we've ever had. It was so cool. We've ever had. It was amazing. And hello out there. I don't want to give your name and like...

put you on the spot. But so we're sitting at the strip club. It was Justin's first time. He was so excited. I was so excited for him. It was just like a magical, like, I love it. I don't look at it. I don't, I guess like my thought process of it. These women are so talented that like the athleticism that they have to have to do this. Like I look at it as like, I'm going to a Cirque de Soleil show.

And like some people go a little further and they get private lap dances. But if you're just sitting around the stage watching the main show, it feels like Cirque de Soleil to me, my head. I don't know. And so we're sitting there. It's like Alejandra, me, Justin. I think you were up like grabbing a drink or doing something. And so all of a sudden the dancer changes and she's dancing and she looks at Alejandra and she goes, oh my God, are you Alejandra from Two Hot Takes?

all 100 like the way she said it she was still twerking as she moved over to the she was she was dancing it was incredible and then she looks at me and she's like oh my god morgan hi and then her head finally goes to justin she's like johnny like oh my god like i watch i listen to father knows something too like i love you guys and so it was just like this what are the chances moment

And then they brought her over after her dance. They brought her over to me and she goes, Lauren, I go, you know my name. And they go, she knows all of our names. I was like, oh, my God. Yeah, we got a picture together after I got to ask like all of our crazy questions about like strip clubs and like what it's like dancing and stuff like that. So it was honestly the coolest. I haven't been to that many strip clubs. It is the coolest one that I've been to. It was so cool. The manager, she handed me her business card and she's like, come back. Come back anytime. We'd love to have you.

Bring all your friends. Yeah, it was really fun. But I think there were people in the comments that were like, me and my partner have a solid boundary. We don't go to strip clubs. And that's fair. However you want your relationship dynamic to be, that's how it should be. I'm not the one in the relationship with you and your partner. So at the end of the day, what I think about strip clubs or what I say doesn't really fucking matter. No, doesn't matter. So this guy, yeah, a boundary was crossed.

And that's sad. And I hope he can get over it because it's an unfortunate situation. And... Yeah, I would be sad if he let that be the reason that he stopped the marriage. Like, that would make me sad. Yeah. I just look at it as, like, your... I would be pissed, too, to be honest, though. If I was him and my fiancé did that, I would be pissed. Yeah. But, like, I...

I wouldn't be like you cheated on me but that's just again my own personal opinion. And that's how you view like whatever. Yeah. I think there's a fine line though and it depends on like what happens. Like are you going to a strip club and just getting a dance and having someone shake their ass in your face? Yeah. Or does it go further? Yeah. Like

And that's where, again, people need to have these conversations because it's like if you got, if you, if a guy, like if Justin went to a strip club and got a blowjob from someone, yeah, that'd be cheating. Suck on a titty, cheating. Yeah, like you can't put any body parts of theirs in your mouth and vice versa. Right, I agree. Like it's gotta be like, it's gotta be something, I don't wanna say, it's gotta be something you could do with oven mitts on and like, because you could probably still do a blowjob with oven mitts on. But I'm trying to think of a way where it's like,

it's it's just a dance yeah just a dance like we we both don't see it as cheating but like some people do some people do yeah totally 100 and like i said i'd be fucking pissed if i if that was if i was in that situation i'm mad agreement beforehand yeah i'd be pissed there's another story i was actually over it yeah there's another story i was actually gonna pull up um

And it was, oh God, what folder do I have it in? It's titled, my groom's party doesn't want me to tell my significant other that they're planning a private bachelor party for me that involves strippers. And so it's a really cool story about this guy who's like going back and forth. His fiance's stepdad is helping plan his bachelor party.

And they want to do strippers and like all this crazy shit. And he feels uneasy about it. And he's like, I don't know how she would view it. They're telling me not to tell her. I should probably tell her. So he ends up not telling her and says, you know what, guys? Let's just cancel the whole... Like, no strippers. Let's just cancel that. And so he ends up... Something happens where he does end up telling her. But he says like, I canceled it. I didn't know how you'd feel. And she goes...

I kind of knew about it. Like, no, go ahead. Oh, wow. Go ahead. And so he calls his stepdad, future stepdad back up and he goes, okay, it's back on. Because his wife was like, yeah, have strippers. Like, absolutely you should. That sounds like a good time for you guys. So moral of the story is,

A boundary is a boundary. Yeah. You're entitled to your feelings. Yeah. But talk to your partner about all of these potentials because I think it's good to have an understanding of where you guys are at in your relationship and what are hard lines for you before there's even an opportunity for something like this to happen. Yeah. And then there's no argument after where it's like, I didn't know how you'd feel, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, because you already had that conversation. So I actually, there's a story, one of my friends,

had this situation happen where they were going to go to a wedding and the bachelor party was like a few days before the wedding or something or like a weekend before the wedding. And basically the guy...

was marrying a virgin, very, very Christian woman. And he had this past of just kind of being wild. She obviously was a virgin, so didn't hook up with anyone. And during his bachelor party, he invited a bunch of guys who also had wives or who had fiancés. They were in committed relationships, right? He himself...

got strippers to his own bachelor party and he ended up taking one into the back room oh yeah and all of his friends were like what the fuck bro so anyway they outed him they went to his fiancee and they were like he brought this girl into the back room like what do you think like yeah and at that point if it's not if it's a group activity getting a dance a little different when you take someone off to the back room absolutely not

even if they just even if they did just dance which i don't agree i don't i don't i doubt that they did just dance but even so that's just still you're crossing a line especially when you're dating someone who you know is like that is so far from what she would be okay with you know that's so far from it yeah and so anyway um they his friends aren't friends with him anymore there was like they were like that was shitty that was crossing the line and they told his fiance his fiancee

Broke off the wedding a weekend prior. My God. Wild. That's crazy. Yeah. Don't be an idiot at a bachelor and bachelorette party. Moral of the story.

What is left on our little list? Because I know you got to get to work here shortly. So what's left on our list? Maybe we can just like rapid fire. Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on personal care items at your local store. Now through August 27th, get extra discounts when you purchase participating items like Dove Beauty Bar, Dove Body Wash, Dove Men Plus Care Body Wash, or Dove.

deodorant, dove shampoo, trace-a-may shampoo, and Axe body spray. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. What's left on our little list? What's left? What's left?

There is, okay, there's either like this surrogate one. Wait, yeah, we didn't go through that one. No, this is the do-over section of it. I know, but you got in trouble. Oh. You got people angry about the... I know. God, it was another episode with my brother. I can't do any more with Matt.

I forget what it was, but it was like... I know. Oh, because you said that the guy should suck it up. And people are really mad about that comment. Yeah, they didn't like to suck it up. I use suck it up a lot. I don't mean it like as literally as when it comes out of my mouth. So the story that we're talking about here is from the siblings episode. And it's a story about a man who has a sister that is gay.

And his sister and her wife wanted to have a baby. And so the sister asked him, hey, we're going to use my partner's egg. Would you be down to donate some sperm so we can have a child that is parts of both of us? And he goes, yeah, of course, like no problem. So he donates his sperm to his sister.

The wife gets inseminated with her egg and the brother's sperm. They have a beautiful baby. They want another child. So the sister asks him again, hey, we're thinking of having another child. Will you donate your sperm? And he goes, yeah, no issue. But the wife had problems with the birth and was not able to carry the next child. And so it was still going to be the wife's egg and the brother's sperm.

And the sister would carry it. So that's where the brother was like, it feels wrong. It feels really icky. I don't want to have to tell people that my sister is carrying my baby. Again, it's not your baby. But he was tripped up about that. Yeah. And so I said, like, first, I did say, obviously, it's his body. It's his choice. I did say that, you guys. Yeah.

I just said, I was like, I think he should suck it up and like get over his weird thing he has in his head where it's his sister carrying his baby. You're offering to give your sperm to that couple. It's not your baby. You don't look at your niece or nephew that you have right now as your child. Phoebe did that for her brother. Yeah. And friends. Yeah. Well, and so what, what came up and this comes up with a lot of the surrogate stories, this is something that happens a lot in the LGBTQ plus community.

And just because you're a part of that LGBTQ plus community doesn't make you any less like worthy of having a child or any less likely to want a child. So it's very common for that community to use surrogates and sperm donors and things like that. And so...

Obviously, if that's a boundary for him, don't do it. Don't do it. But I think it would be I get what you're saying. It'd be nice if he did like it would be convenient for everyone. And like and it is something where it's like it seems he doesn't have a problem with it. So it seems because he already did it. But he's just getting more in his head about it being gross that his sister is carrying his sperm.

um which like i mean i don't i mean it is it is a unique it's it is unique so like i don't blame him for being like uh it makes me feel kind of weird but um but at the end of the day wow i haven't said that one in a while um at the end of the day it's his choice yeah it's like it he has every right to say no if it makes him feel uncomfortable it's it's like it's still like his dna being passed down you know so it's like

And I wasn't discrediting the fact that it's his choice. I just think he's being silly. And I should have used like, I think he's being silly. I think he's being goofy instead of saying suck it up. But I do. Like, I think he's being a little silly because there's so many stories about people's moms that have to be their surrogate. Like, I don't know what is up with my Instagram like discover page, but I literally just saw a post recently about this girl and her mom was her surrogate.

And it's like, well, technically, like for her, her husband's jizz is in her mom. Oh, my God. Going back to explore pages, by the way, this guy asked for my Instagram the other day and I and I he like gave me his phone and I went and typed it in and it was on like the discover explore page. Yeah. All butts. All butts. Yeah. You know what he's searching for. I was like, wow, I couldn't not call him out. I did. And he's like, I don't know how that happens. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So again, it's kind of that same argument. Like if it's his boundary, he's entitled to it. Yeah. And that's that. And people like I think people were also commenting like just because he did it once doesn't mean he has to do it again and again. No, no, absolutely. Right. It's his choice. Right. But is he being silly in his brain? Yeah. Maybe. The last one we have for this whole episode was on my dad's

My dad's episode, it was a dad's and father-in-law story one. And it was a story about a man who was already planning on getting married. His invitations had been sent out. And then lo and behold, it turns out he has a son.

The mom had been hiding it from him for however long and he was trying to determine if he would be the asshole if he did not invite his son to his wedding. And so my dad and I had the opinion that he should invite the son to the wedding and we felt it was wrong not to because

I don't think my opinion has changed on this one, but I might be able to shed some light like where I kind of came from.

I was looking at the timeline for this one and he was writing in months and months before his wedding. Like there was, I think, a six month or seven month gap before his wedding was even about to occur. And so a lot of people in the comments were like, no, that's not fair. It's not a great first meeting. It's not a great first meeting to do at a wedding and stuff like that. But in my head, I was thinking,

But it wouldn't be the first meeting. He's got seven months or whatever the gap was to go get lunch, hang out, get to know his son, and then have him at the wedding. Like there's enough time there where he has enough time to build a relationship with his kid. Yeah.

And then invite him. Yeah. And I and also it's like I know because I reviewed it as well. And I noticed that people were like, he just doesn't like you can't just like tell him that he's a dad and he turns into a great dad overnight. You know, like it's he didn't know. And yeah.

I totally feel for that too. Like that's a hard place for that man to be. It's just like he had no idea and now he's a father. Like how do I act like a good father? But like, I mean, you guys, if you are watching YouTube, you saw I was fucking crying at that story that we had about this guy meeting his bio parents. And I just think that for me, it's like, it's really, really touching when...

you hear stories like that when it's like they didn't know each other, but they are going to give them love, right? And so I think that like in that story, it would have been really beautiful to hear that he was just like,

wow like I never I can't believe I didn't know you like I just want to show you love and like I want you to feel included in everything and that would be this like beautiful fairy tale for like me and Morgan I think absolutely and I think that's what like I was hoping for with this story I wasn't hoping for a man that was trying to justify leaving his kid out and I think like we kind of talked about it last night you know prepping for this episode I look at a lot of these as the long game

This the wedding is the short game. That's one day of your life. That's it. And then it's over. But you now have this son and you're going to have this son for the next 40 years. And how solid of a start do you want to have for your relationship? And it's your wedding. It's your day. You get to pick the guest list. So pop off if that's, you know, do whatever you want. But this is your kid for life.

And I look at, you know, things that have hurt me as a child that my parents have done and excluded me from or just whatever that's happened during my life. And I think this is a moment that can be avoided. And it's a moment that's going to set you up to have start having a really solid relationship with your kid for the next 40 years. He's not going away. He's your kid. And what relationship you have with him.

is determined by you. He's trying. He's reaching out. He's looking for you to be his dad. He's hoping to be invited. He asked to be invited. So for me, it just felt so not fairytale and just disheartening. And no, like one of the top comments is exactly what you said. You can't just expect him to be a dad automatically. No, you can't. But you just hope. You hope. You hope that, you know, he'd want to like,

bring a kid under his arm. And I think, you know, my dad, my dad is not my dad. Jerry is not my biological dad. Jerry took me and took me on out of the goodness of his heart. He didn't have to, he doesn't have to be my dad, but he did it. And so I think my personal experiences and his as well really shaped our opinion on that one, because we just see as like, life is too short to not like start that relationship. Like you just found out, like,

Start working on it. Go out to lunch. You got months before the wedding. And I'm sure there's a coworker or someone that like... Someone's not going to show up on the date. You know that. Like people get sick all the time. Especially with COVID. Someone's going to be sick. There's going to be a spot. Yeah. Or pull up one chair. Like it'll be okay. But if that's his wedding list and that's his invite list... Then that's that. That's that. And I think that you and I both have so much respect for...

caretakers, anyone who is just raising a child. And that's kind of, that plays into our feelings about this. It's like, it's so beautiful because for the most part, it's like,

Parents are superheroes. You know, like they, like I was saying earlier, they spend every single second of their day thinking about another human. Yeah. And so when we hear stories like this, it's just, it makes us a little sad. Well, and there's one comment here from Rushreen. Rushreen.

I believe is how you pronounce your name. I don't think the dad who couldn't invite his biological son was an asshole. I think his son's biological mom and the grandmother were assholes for treating him like that when he was so desperate to be present in his son's life way before they even knew it was his. Which I think this is one of those, like, this isn't a black and white situation. I don't think he's the asshole. And if I called him the asshole in that story, I do take it back. Like, it's his choice. However, he wants to do it. He's not the asshole for his choices. Right.

Not the asshole. Mom and grandma, assholes. They manipulated the situation and hid this child from him. They are definitely assholes. But I do think he's not handling it in the best way he could. Not the asshole because however he wants to handle his day, it's his day. But again, could it be handled better? And I think yes.

Could it have been a story that made me and Morgan cry? Yeah. Yeah, it could have. You ruined it. Of happiness? You ruined it. A fairy tale? We were looking for a fairy tale. We were looking for one. But I mean, like we said, we are all human and that's okay. We all have our boundaries. We all have our choices.

Um, we can always, there's always a way to handle something better. It seems, you know? Absolutely. So, and I mean, look at like how people build Ikea furniture. Let's break it down on a simple level. There's a right way and a hundred other ways that are harder to build, to build Ikea furniture. Wow. Beautiful analogy. And that's how we handle life. That's how we handle life. There's sometimes there's not even right ways.

Morgan loves going to Ikea. I fucking love Ikea. I could live there. I could. With the Swedish meatballs. Oh, yeah. The cookies. Swedish fish. Yep. But this was an interesting one. I'm sorry if you hate us or like, I don't know. I'd like to have people who like disagreed on those stories, maybe comment and like see if we've evolved or like evolved on like where we were coming from in a good way, I should say.

I don't know. It's complicated. Opinions are hard. Yeah. Especially when you put them online and they're cemented there. Yeah, right? I know. Why?

Why do we do this? Online is dangerous online too. And that's why I try not to look at comments just because even if there's a million great ones and there's one mean one, like it just doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good to have people criticize you, especially when we're so self-critical ourselves, like just as humans, like we are very self-critical. I fucking am so self-critical. One time I got in trouble at work when I was in college. I did something wrong. It like cost my company like $2,000. And I...

my colleague told me to go talk to the manager and he was like a brother and he's like, was always getting in trouble and he was like, haha, you're gonna get so in trouble by our boss. And I go in there and I started bawling. I was like, I'm so sorry, Denisha. I like, I can't believe I did this. Like, what can I do to like make it better? Like, just let me know. What is my punishment? Like, well, and she was like, oh my God, you need a hug. And she gave me a hug and she's like, you are punishing yourself enough. I'm not going to say one more word. Oh,

And we do. I think that's literally us after like some of these things where we're just like, oh, God, we really...

Kind of missed it or like just didn't articulate our feelings well enough to have other people understand them in the way that our brains are. Exactly. Because our brains are working a thousand miles per hour and our mouse can only keep up so much. Yeah. Well, and I know that you've talked on the show about dealing with ADHD. And it's rough. I don't think I've said anything. Mostly because I usually am a little bit more private about that for some reason. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 12. Yeah.

And I was really shameful and embarrassed and it was in denial. I would throw my medication away every single morning and I was just like, I'm a normal kid. But it's like as I've started to learn more about it, even just stuff on TikTok, it's like I know that I deal with ADD and it comes out in conversations sometimes. Sometimes it's like I'm trying to articulate something and it's just –

it's not, it's not happening the way that I want it to. Yeah. So, or like we said with that story, I thought that story was different. The, the Christmas story. Yeah. And, and then you reread it to me and I'm like, well, fuck, I'm the asshole. Why did I even react like that? Yeah. Yeah. But that is it for updates and do-overs. Yeah. So, updates were good. Hope you guys liked it. It was a little different of an episode, but. I'm scared. Yeah. But,

But it's okay. We have each other. I love you. I love you. Okay. Well, that is it. So until next time. Until next time. Bye, guys. Bye. Hey there. It's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on all your personal care favorites. Now through August 27th, save up to $3 or more when you purchase participating personal care items like Pampers Wipes, Gillette Razors,

Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous two-year contracts, they said, what the f***?

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