66: Not So Positive Parenting..
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Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. I'm Morgan's brother, Matt. And I'm Amy, Matt's wife. And Morgan's sister-in-law. Yes, you're not going to get me in trouble today, right? Oh, I'm going to rile the people. That's my job. No, no, I'm just kidding. I put my foot in my own mouth the last time anyways. And you know sometimes we don't always get them right. It happens. True.

Just like parenting, you know, you take it one day at a time and... You learn from your mistakes. You bounce back. Yeah. You come back stronger. How would you describe parenting? Kids are the greatest joy and like you will never find like such a deep love and affection for someone else, like beyond your spouse.

But at the same time, it is also the most infuriating, stressful thing you can possibly do as a human being where you want to just... So I'm home in Minnesota visiting. I came home and surprised my mom for Mother's Day, which if you're watching on YouTube, I'll include the video of me surprising her from a closet. That was fantastic. It's hilarious and it's kind of a jump scare for those watching because she screams her head off. But...

I also got to go to my niece's dance recital. So Matt and Amy's kids are five and three as of today. We're recording on the youngest's birthday. But we went to Eloise's, the oldest, her dance recital. And Emmett, you know, he's three. He's just a little guy. And he was just not having it. It was two hours long. He was at his wit's end. And I think, Matt, you were at your wit's end too because you look at him and you just go, dude, no.

I'm about to lose it. Yep. And he almost knew, though. He was like, okay, I better, like, I gotta go easy. Settle down a little bit. Yeah. You're like, I gotta go easy on my dad now. Well, they always pick the most opportune times to act up, right? Like, Eloise, of those two hours of dancing, danced two songs that were, like, one-minute songs. And, of course, that's exactly when he decided to...

Throw a fit. That's when he was the worst. It didn't matter how many snacks we bought, popcorn, Sour Patch Kids, Twix, Reese's, popcorn, pizza, it didn't matter. Nothing would make him happy. No, and that's just sometimes the way the cookie crumbles. So today is Parenting 2.0, and we'll see how it goes. I feel like this should come with a disclaimer, though. We are not professional parents. We're just trying to figure it out. So...

Yeah. There we go. Just some takes. It's going to be okay. I'll rile them up. Okay, let's dive in. ♪♪♪

So up first, husband is jealous of our new baby. I think my husband is jealous of our three-month-old baby. Since the baby was born, he has completely changed. He complains all of the time now about everything. We went for a walk and made it halfway down the block before we turned around and went home. It took us maybe three minutes. In the meantime, my husband is jealous of our new baby.

In that time, he managed to complain about the weather, the mosquitoes, our two dogs, how I walk the dogs, and how I should do it his way, and how I'm too hard-headed because I won't do it his way.

This happens with pretty much everything we try to do. We got into a pretty big fight about money. He said, I'm spending too much on groceries. That $400 a month is insane for two people and that we order out too much. I double checked this. I ordered out once a month for the past three months since our daughter was born. One of those times was for his birthday dinner.

Then he told me that he misses his friend who I asked him to stop talking to five years ago. I had asked him to stop talking to her after she tried making out with him and then sent him a three page long text about how I'm to blame for their crappy relationship.

I told him to go ahead and talk to her again. I don't care at this point. Now he's complaining how sick he is. He said he's depressed. He can't work. He needs to take medical leave and he feels dizzy all of the time. I made appointments for him for a doctor for the dizziness, a psychiatrist for the depression, and a psychologist for some talk therapy. He was prescribed a bunch of different meds and he's saying none of them work.

On top of all this, he's complaining that I'm breastfeeding too much. She needs to start on solid foods and I should switch to formula. Three month old, right? Three month old. Okay. He says that we need to get a babysitter, even though I'm a stay-at-home mom. He said she bores him and all he does with her is sit in front of the TV and

I think all of those things are for my attention. He's done things like this in the past when I wasn't giving him 100% of my attention, but never to this extent. These past three months have been so much drama that I feel like I'm losing it. Trouble. There's some big red flags here. Lots of red flags. Holy smokes. All right. Matt's ready to dive in. Go at it. Go at it. I don't know. Like, did this person...

uh, OP, did they have a conversation about like actually wanting to have kids and like, do you not know what you're signing up for? A baby is not going like, how can you be bored like with a baby? Yes, they don't do anything, but seriously, you have to know what you're signing up for. And it sounds like overall, like, I don't know if he thought that his life was just going to stay the same, but when you have a kid from that moment,

your life is not yours anymore. You need to basically sacrifice for your child and your spouse, and it's not the same. You're not going to be going out doing all the things that you wanted to do. You're not going to be going out and partying and going out to dinners. This guy is ridiculous to think that his life was going to stay the same. And because he's so distraught about his life change, I feel like

call it what it is, may not be an affair, emotional affair, some sort of emotional connection with the other lady where he is trying to find a piece of what he had with that other, not even with that other person, but just with somebody that is not his wife and kids because wife and kids right now equals not fun, work, sacrifice, and this dude needs to wake up

It's reality. So I feel like Jerry right now because I'm like, I wonder what his relationship is like with his mother. Because it sounds like he was flipping rays to be the center of the universe. Yeah. Like everything has to revolve around him. And when it stops revolving around him, he throws a little tantrum like a little three-year-old.

So, yeah, your world is going to flip upside down when you have kids. And honestly, like what I noticed and what I picked up was that the wife made the appointments for him. You know, she got him the appointment to go here. She got him the appointment to go there. And where in the world do they live that $400 a month on food is like a ton. That's actually insane. $100 a week on groceries for two people, that's like...

That's some boss ass budgeting. I know. That's really good. She's using some coupons. Coupons. 100%. Absolutely. 100%. And she's breastfeeding. Like, holy camoly. Which people breastfeed, like, I think the normal minimum these days is about a year is what I see people talking about on TikTok. It's like, I breastfed for at least a year. I know everyone's parenting journey is so different. And some people go to five. We went two years.

Yeah, some people longer, some people shorter, and it's whatever works for you. But that's a lot of work. So I hear that she is putting in a lot of work, and I'm guessing she's exhausted. And yeah, your husband at that point should become more of your teammate and maybe look for ways to support his wife as they are raising their three-month-old and not complain that she's not exciting enough. Like, come on, she's three months old. It's so weird. It's so weird. Girl, I'm Peter Pan.

Yeah. Well, and the fact that there's actually like for moms out there that are using formula right now, there's a crazy formula shortage. Yeah. And formula is expensive. And he's already bitching about the fact that they're spending $400 on groceries. Add in formula now, bitch, because I saw one woman on, um, was going on Facebook marketplace to find a special formula for her baby. A hundred dollars a canister. Yeah. A hundred dollars. It's insane. I just can't imagine. So,

I don't know. I think just based on a Google search though, because I'm trying to find the actual story and not just my screenshots, and Reddit after Reddit, husbands being jealous of baby. Did your husband get jealous after the baby was born? I, 30 male, am jealous of my wife's relationship with our new baby. I think my husband is jealous of our baby. Wait a minute though. It's a really common problem. I think, I'm just going to throw this out there.

Like you can't, you can get jealousy confused with like the inability to bond with that child right away. Like typically, right, a mother and their child bond right away. And they form a bond. Not always. No, not always. And you feel potentially left out. I could see that happening where, oh, they have such a great relationship and I just have this baby and like,

I just can't do it. I can't get to the same level that you're getting to. So, yeah. I guess you could call it jealousy. I don't know. It's a bad word for it, I guess. Yeah, but also it almost does... I don't know with him because...

I think it's more about the fact that he's not getting the attention or being pampered. And the fact that she says he's done things like this in the past when I wasn't giving him 100% of my attention. And so it's not so much to me about the baby. It seems like he's just an insecure dude that needs 100% of his partner's focus. Yeah. I mean, especially with this story, I'm going to throw it back, but this guy's a fucking clown. Simple as that. This story is ridiculous. Yeah.

And especially you have a three-month-old baby, and he's like, there's this whole other layer of him and this other chick. That's so weird to me. They basically had, I don't know, some sort of affair sort of situation. They probably are banging. Let's hope not. Let's hope not. Yeah, that just becomes even more messy. This story does not exist anymore. I'm sleuthing.

So I cannot find it. The username was diligent tumbleweed 96. And even that account is gone from what I'm seeing, but it's a really, really common issue with, with people. And I think, I think I could see the bonding being a really relevant problem for a lot of people, maybe not so much him, but like other people that go through this, because it is hard because you also want to bond with a baby. And so maybe that's why he said formula. So he could have that feeding time and,

But at the same time, it's unfortunate but fortunate moms are so tied to the baby early on. Especially if you choose to breastfeed. And you can pump for your partner if you're the one doing the breastfeeding, but that's a lot of work too. The story still said that he specifically said, you're breastfeeding too much.

Not, hey, I'd like a chance to be able to feed the baby. Yeah. It sounds like he felt like he had a little bit of ownership maybe over her body. And now she, you know, now maybe he's feeling like that.

And honestly, she probably feels too that her body is no longer hers even than that it does belong to that baby. Yeah. I don't know. I felt like I had kind of some of those feelings after giving birth, especially with breastfeeding. Like this body is completely different. It's completely foreign. And it's, you know, there's fluids coming out of all of these orifices.

Oh, my gosh. I didn't even know that. Anyway, we're going too far. You didn't know what? We're going too far. I'm already scared of pregnancy. So, yeah, I don't know if I want to know. So, but definitely, like, at that time of your life, you're not like, ooh, I feel so sexy. Like, come here. Yeah. So...

That's a rough, rough problem. I mean, maybe some women are, but I definitely wasn't at three months postpartum. No, she's still healing and going through hormone changes still and trying to just get back on track. And he's making life very difficult. And she doesn't have one new baby. She's got two. And that's not what any... I don't want a baby for a partner. Bye. I miss that part. She had two babies? Basically, the guy is being another fucking baby. Oh, got it.

I was like, what are you talking about? What are the myths? Yeah, no, just another one popped up there. Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on personal care items at your local store. Now through August 27th, get extra discounts when you purchase participating items like Dove Beauty Bar, Dove Body Wash, Dove Men Plus Care Body Wash, or

Okay, moving along. This one is also probably going to pull at heartstrings. I think parenting kind of comes with some heavy territory sometimes. It's a big job. Yeah, so this one's a little crazy and...

You know, we've talked a little bit about mother-in-law and boundaries today. And so here we go, all in one. All right. Let's go. Take a deep breath, Matt. It'll be okay. Yeah, we got this. Am I the asshole? I had my mother-in-law trespassed after she entered my home and fired my babysitter.

I am a widower. I lost my wife, Ann, 34, just minutes after she gave birth to our first baby, Sammy. She had a difficult pregnancy, so I took an indefinite leave three months before she was due. Sammy's four months old now, and before I went back to work, I told my mother-in-law, Sandra, 56, about my plans and if she can recommend a nanny to take care of my daughter when I work. She offered to do it.

Nanny, that is, for free. I told her she's free to come by any time during the day if she feels uncomfortable with a nanny looking after Sammy, but she insisted on doing it herself. So I said yes and gave her a copy of the house keys. She comes 30 minutes before I leave to go to work, and when I come home, she stays for dinner and leaves after putting Sammy to sleep. Everything was fine for the first couple of weeks until I noticed that Sammy's not feeding as much. Her formula's barely touched.

I asked Sandra about it and why Sammy's not feeding well. She said she's trying to breastfeed my daughter. Wait, what? Yeah, I forgot about this one. Mother-in-law? Yeah. At first, I thought she was joking. Then I realized she wasn't. She said Sammy needs to latch for a few minutes every day to activate her milk production. I almost lost it. I told her she cannot do that and she needs to stop.

She said she will, but I caught her again when I walked in my daughter's room and she was forcing Sammy to latch. I confronted her and told her she's no longer my baby's nanny. I didn't ask for the key back as she's still welcome to come visit anytime. I asked for a one-week leave from work to care for my daughter and find a nanny. I found one, but two days after, she never returned.

I called her and she said my mother fired her the day before. I asked her to describe the woman and I was livid when I realized it was Sandra. She came into my house using her key and fired my nanny. I was about to call her when she showed up and said a convoluted story like how I hired an incompetent nanny, etc., etc. I told her to leave but she refused and told me she's calling CPS because I'm endangering my child.

Ow. Nah.

No. So I will say, I actually have had another story in the past and I did not even know breastfeeding was a component of this. I remember that one. And I'm like really taken aback that this is happening to me again because this story, it was the same thing. The grandma was trying to breastfeed the baby or not trying to breastfeed it per se, but trying to get the baby to latch on her breast and

to comfort the baby and try to get it to calm down. So a little bit different, like this is a little even more unhinged. Well, because the baby's not even, you know, drinking as much formula. She's not getting the nutrition that she needs. No, I'm sure she is like dehydrated, malnourished. That's so bad. So bad. Wow. It's kind of like the audacity. Yeah, boundaries for sure. But she is like stomping all over those boundaries that he is trying to set.

I just, I wouldn't feel comfortable. Like, I get the whole fact that your daughter died and you're like trying to do the best things you can. Yeah. Like, poor grandma trying to do the right thing maybe, but you have to recognize when you're out of line. And I would flip shit if I found out my mother-in-law was trying to breastfeed my kid. There's just a line and that's a line that

I just, I can't get behind. That's a line. At that point, like they're not, she's already demonstrated that she's not following your wishes because you told her absolutely no. And then she came over and didn't say that. She tried to do it again. Yeah. And so she's like completely disregarding your wishes for your child. Like she had her time as a parent.

And yes, it is so sad because they're both grieving the loss of that baby's mother. And maybe she is just not in the right headspace, I mean, clearly, but-

Like, until she is in the right headspace, if it were me, I would be taking that key back and I would say kind of like supervised visits only. Like, you are welcome to come over, but like, this is going to be when we are... But she's probably made... He needs to change the locks. Absolutely. She's made a copy. She's made a copy. If she's this cuckoo, she's made a copy. Like, I don't know. He did call the cops, which...

is an extreme step, I feel like. Maybe he couldn't get her to leave. It doesn't sound like she was leaving. Right. I don't know. I'm all about de-escalating a situation. Just how I would work is I would fucking wait until she left and then I would go like,

all right, now we're changing the locks. Now I'm doing this. Now I'm not going to have my kid here. I'm going to bring that kid to a daycare facility or I will bring it to a different nanny's house. And when my mother-in-law shows up next time or tries to get in the house, too fucking bad. No one's here. You blew your shot, lady. A daycare center because then you can really like have like, hey, if this person shows up, she's not allowed. I know. I feel like

I know. I just, age-wise, maybe. I don't know. Well, the nanny's house, too. No, no, no, no. The baby's aged for daycare. I'm like, oh, she's still a little. Oh, four months. Yeah. Little baby nugget. Immune system's just kind of getting rolling. But they usually have, like, babies, like, quarantined in their own room. Yeah. Especially, like, where we go. Age-separated. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I, like,

I literally just Googled it as we were kind of talking here, and I was like, can a 56-year-old woman even produce breast milk? That's also my question. I know nothing about this. So according to Women's Health Today, a woman who is postmenopausal can still produce milk as long as you have a functioning pituitary gland. It's all about the prolactin. And so if you stimulate the nipples enough, it'll get the prolactin going. And actually a lot of moms who adopt,

If they pump enough prior to adopting their child, then they can actually nurse their child. That is so wild. Which I think is really cool. I think it's really cool. I mean, there's so many benefits of breastfeeding antibodies and stuff that get passed to your baby to help their immune system. But it is definitely not happening if you're just coming over and nannying and latching here and there. No. Come on. And also...

Yeah. It's crazy to me. It's possible for a woman who has never been pregnant or hasn't been pregnant for many years to relactate and produce breast milk. That was my next question. Yeah. You don't even have to have ever had it. You don't have to have ever been pregnant to produce breast milk. Women's bodies are fucking weird. That is so educational. They're amazing is what they are. Blow my mind.

Yeah, this is really cool. I do think like if you aren't, I know some people like if you truly do want to do just formula, like it's your own choice. But I know like a lot of moms who produce a lot of excess milk will donate to like milk banks. And I think there's so many like just get some antibodies, get some good antibodies going. We had some really great friends that donated garbage bags full of breast milk to us. I was not a super producer. I tried so hard, so hard, so hard.

And we did nurse for a really long time, but like the amount matters until they're one year of age. And then like as they're one, they're eating more foods and whatnot. So like after one, the amount matters a little bit less. So towards the end, because I'm also a working mom, I wasn't pumping enough while I was at work. And so, yeah, we had some really awesome friends who donated their breast milk and, you

You know, I would trust them clearly with my life and my baby's life. And so that was just like the best gift that I was able, they were able to give both of

both of my kids, Eloise and Emmett, because they had kids like at the perfect time. Like just a little bit before Eloise and just a little bit before Emmett. So it was great. That's awesome. Thanks, Liz. Yeah. If you can donate milk and you want to help out some other moms, look in the milk banks in your area. I know Facebook is like a big, like there's so many Facebook groups for that. It's great. You just, you do have to be careful like going through, like if you don't know the person. Yeah. Well,

Well, so my friend Allie, she kind of had the same issue. And so she did get it through some people she knew. But there was one of the groups she was thinking about going through, they actually tested the milk for stuff. Well, that's good. Now, Alyssa's probably way healthier even than I am, so I had no qualms. Yeah.

So there is an edit on this one. Okay. Thank you for everyone for your advice and showing concern for Sammy. I called CPS to tell them about the situation. My mom is coming over to help look after my daughter and look at our options. She's a retired family law attorney. I do have a doorbell camera, but reading some of the suggestions here, I decided to up my home security system. Brother-in-law and sister-in-law know the whole story. And they also think that forcing to breastfeed Sammy was wrong, but...

They are angry at me for calling the cops on mother-in-law and having her trespassed. They said it was unnecessary and cruel to do to a grieving mother, which is kind of in line with what you said, Matt. If there was any way not to involve the police. When you say...

having her trespassed what does that mean exactly like are you charging her like it sounds like it at this point doing the whole deal or was it just like get the cops over and then like all right now i'm not pressing i'm not going to press charges but i just need her to leave yeah there's like a huge difference if you're that's pretty ballsy to charge your mother-in-law if you're going to actually charge her because at some point

It's a bad situation to begin with and you want your child to have a relationship with their grandparents. Absolutely. And it's tough because I look at, yes, she's crossing a lot of boundaries. She's going against him, what he wants. And then when he found out, she's continuing to cross that boundary. But she's almost like, in my head, I'm like, this is kind of like a consent violation for this child.

Little baby. I don't know if this- It's a huge violation. This whole thing is just like so backwards. But I think one thing too, it's like he noticed his daughter wasn't eating well. Right. And like babies need food. Like they're at such a vital part of development, growing, their brains growing like crazy, all this shit. Like you can't starve a fucking baby just because you hope that your breast will start producing milk. It's almost like, is she a little psychotic? Right.

With this grief? Not like in the, oh, wow, she's sick. In the medical sense. Could be a form of psychosis here because I think about it too with this baby and trying to get this baby to latch. This baby's never been breastfed and I know a lot of today's nipples are shaped very similar to breast nipples and all that, but this baby's also never breastfed so I'm sure this is just a shit show trying to get this little one to latch. Yeah.

It's a little delusional. How soon did it start? Nobody knows, I'm sure. Like, yeah. How long has she been watching the kid by herself? I don't know. It seems... Maybe it happened right away. Sammy's four months old now and before I went back to work. So not really a super clear timeline, but she's four months old now and no mention of like...

They took an indefinite leave three months before their wife was due, but then just said before I went back to work. So not really sure if she had this kind of access to the baby before. Such a sad story, though. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah. I feel really bad for him. I know. Like to be under all this stress. You're grieving the loss of your wife and then your mother-in-law just kind of fucks it all up. And you have a baby to raise. Yeah. Holy camo. I'm getting educated tonight. So like, I just have one last question. Okay. Does this happen a lot? Do women still die giving birth often? Ooh. Is it like a thing? Yeah.

The U.S. has some of the, for a developed country, the U.S. is the worst with mortality rates. It's one of the highest maternal mortality rates. And I plug this constantly on like every show I can because I'm trying to bring awareness to it in every way I can. If you're a woman of color, you're over 240% more likely to die during childbirth than a white woman. Yep. It is so bad.

It's so wrong. It's terrible. So it's scary. It's scary. I mean... It's just insane to me. I just feel like we're living in an age where like the medical care is top notch and I don't know, that shouldn't be happening. I feel bad for the guy. Should be. There's still a sexism in medicine though, unfortunately. A lot of medical bias. It's tough. I even think like your brother literally just gave birth...

Well, not he, his wife did. But like they just had their little one yesterday and she had a lot of hemorrhaging. And it's like, I've seen so many women on TikTok where they were like, I was hemorrhaging and like I literally, the doctor told my partner to say goodbye to me.

And there's another woman who her TikTok keeps going viral where she flatlined and was dead for 20 minutes. I saw that. And like. And I had to have, and wasn't that the one where they had to do like that emergency C-section? Like it was like the, basically a post-mortem C-section to save the baby. And they ended up bringing her back. Amazing. This is depressing. We got to move on. Okay.

I don't know. All of these ones are going to be... Okay, let's just get this one out of the way because it's more boob related. I can talk boobs all day long. They're amazing. Yes, they are. I don't mean it like that. No, I wish Justin was here to pipe in. He'd love this. Who doesn't love boobs? Some people are butt people. They don't care about what's up top.

Nah, boobs are like Coke or Pepsi. You prefer big, small Coke, Pepsi. You prefer one, but you'll take either or. They're fantastic. I need to do a poll on this one. Okay, so up next, am I the asshole for suggesting that my friend wears a bra or thicker shirt before coming over?

I have a six month old and just started allowing visitors. My best friend came to visit and I texted her suggesting she wears a bra or a thick shirt if she plans to hold my son because he grabs nipples very hard. And my friend has hers pierced and has told me they're super sensitive.

I explained this to her and she ignored my messages, but she came over anyways. Nipples poking through shirt and my six month old was staring hands ready. I offered to give her a sweater and she looked at me sideways and suggested I was sexualizing her breasts and she is not covering up.

I explained that wasn't the case, but she didn't want to hear me. I respected her decision and asked if she still wants to hold the baby. She grabbed my son from me and within five minutes, he had a death grip on her nipples and she jumped up, screamed in pain and pulled him off her. I said, quote, that's why I suggested a bra. This made her even more mad. And she said, quote, no, you suggested that because you're a misogynist.

I was so confused and she left abruptly. She keeps telling our mutual friends that I was sexualizing her breasts and was trying to make her wear a bra or that I wouldn't welcome her, but that isn't at all what happened. Am I missing something? I feel like her reaction is really uncalled for. This was just a miscommunication. Where is Justin? This is a hilarious

hilarious miscommunication. I'm not going to lie. At least in our society, I'm a guy, so I'm just going to say this. Your boobs, they're a sexual thing. No. Disagree. That's the problem. You're going to learn today. No. Guys are attracted to

like, right? It's a sexual thing. It can be. It can be. But it isn't always. Why, if she's just walking around in a shirt, why do you need to sexualize her boobs? In a bedroom? Sure. Like when you say you're sexualizing them,

I'm not sure. Like, like attraction is attraction, right? Like you see things, you like things like some people like booties, right? Yeah. So like you see a girl in tight jeans and you like her butt, like what? Sexualizing her ass. I mean, I just don't. Okay. Let me ask you something now. Do you find your mother's breasts sexy?

No, I'm not looking. Well, exactly. I shield my eyes. Grandmothers? Your sisters? Like, there's a way to not sexualize breasts, and breasts don't have to be sexual. Especially, I mean, think about like a boob feeding a baby. Like, if you're walking through the airport and you see a mom breastfeeding her baby, are you also checking out her tits being like, that tit in that baby's mouth is hot. Hot.

There are situations where they're not sexual. Here's the thing. I bet her friend has gotten this perspective before elsewhere. Especially if they're pierced. I think there are a lot of men out there that will give unsolicited comments to women about their boobs. Obviously you have eyes. People have eyes. We all look at people and, oh, they're attractive. Oh, I like their hair. We're constantly making these

But I think for women that have their nipples pierced, it's kind of like a more like, oh, and like, I think there's a lot of guys that give unsolicited comments. Like my friend, I have two friends that have their nipples pierced. And when they would go out to bars, like people would come up to them and talk to them about their nipples.

I just, that's just rude. It's gross. Yeah. It's so gross. So how people like choose to express themselves should be up to them. And so to me, it sounds like she's like kind of been on that end of the spectrum where maybe she has had uninvited friends

comments or whatever. And so that's like where her defense mechanisms jumps to. It sounds like the OP could have been a little bit more like, hey, you might want a bra or a sweater because my six month old will for sure grab your nipple piercings.

I mean, you do you, but it might hurt because, I mean, those little hands, they hurt. They're strong. Oh, they're strong. Babies, yeah, they love like... Hair. They love hair. They love like...

With the other nipple with like, I mean, that's why they have those little blankets with the little tags on it because they like to like fiddle with something as they're like nursing or whatever. I just saw like a little like draping thing where you drape it over you as you're breastfeeding. It's got a fake nipple on it so they won't pinch your real one. Oh, that's so smart. Yeah, it's like a little like. Because that shit hurts. Yeah.

Well, and it sounds like she did try to explain to her. Yeah. She said, you should wear a bra or a thick shirt if you plan to hold my son because he grabs nipples very hard. And she ignored my messages but came over anyways. Well, then it's just on her. And here's the thing with people. I don't think the friend was wrong in any way.

I think the friend, honestly, she was being very considerate. She knew her friend had very sensitive nipples. I don't think she was being misogynistic or sexualizing her. I think she was honestly just trying to be like, here is the situation and here's how you can avoid some pain. And so her friend is taking it this way, which I think kind of plays off what you said. She's been in this situation a lot and she's tired of it. And I'm kind of in the boat where...

Sometimes people need to learn the hard way. Yep. And this is one of those situations. She should not be bad-mouthing, though, her friend and saying, you know, telling everybody, I don't know, they need to talk it out. That's weird. It's not that serious. Like, are you embarrassed now and that's why you're running your mouth to all your mutual friends? Maybe. Because that's, like, this...

Communicate, people. Communicate. So there is an edit on this one. Okay. In the midst of our arguing, she suggested that I should teach my son to not grab nipples. But he is just a baby. Top comment. Not the asshole. You explained why you're suggesting that. So it should be clear it has nothing to do with sex. And she's the only one sexualizing the situation. She sounds like a drama queen. Is she always like that? Must be tiring for everyone involved.

And so Opie goes, yeah, she is. I love her. But even at my baby shower, she kept bringing up about how she had a miscarriage. I feel for her in that situation because it's devastating, but it felt like she was trying to shift the focus on her. So yeah, that's tough. Yep. No comment. No comment.

OP goes on to say in another comment, she's a toxic friend who I can't help unless she helps herself. Unfortunately, it looks like cutting contact might be the best thing for the both of us right now. And I hope she seeks therapy because this behavior is not acceptable and I refuse to tolerate it anymore. Basically just responding to someone being like, has anyone told her? It's not always about her because it seems like OP is kind of sharing other details throughout the comments that her friend is not the best of friends and tries to turn every situation into like her being...

So she's lashing out because she's still dealing with her own situation and she hasn't addressed it appropriately. It sounds like there's some unresolved trauma here for sure. Yeah.

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Visit Safeway.com for more details. Moving along. Getting away from the nipples. All right. What's next? Free the nipple. Free the nipple. So, am I the asshole for making my son shower at school?

Saves water. Come on. My son is in the sixth grade and showering is not a big deal to him anymore. To make matters worse, he has sports after school, which is at his school. So when I pick him up, he stinks. He will promise to shower but doesn't or doesn't do a good enough job. Yesterday, I went to pick him up and handed him a bag with shampoo, body wash, clean clothes, and deodorant. He asked me what that was for. And he said he's going to take a shower in the boys' locker room.

There were a few older kids in there who shower. He refused and I said he's not coming home until he does. He said he'd take one at home and I said, nope. I also told him to not bother calling his mom. He did shower and was fresh and clean, but had tears in his eyes.

That guy's a fucking dick. Too far. Way too far. How old are you in sixth grade? At what age? Twelve?

I hear like 10. 10. 10, 11. Especially when you're sharing a locker room, probably for both young boys and girls, it's intimidating to strip down, get naked in front of an entire class or whether it be older students at the gym. I don't know this specific situation, like how many different teams are there. There's bullying, there's things that...

At 10 or 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, a lot of people just aren't comfortable with their bodies at that point in time. I'm still not now. I know. Like gyms with showers like this, like, oh my God, no. Like...

Yeah, it's an intimidating thing to get buck naked and go into the shower with a group of people. And I can vividly remember in school, 7th, 8th grade, you go to the pool and then you're supposed to go shower after before class. And you're sitting there, hands as you walk to the locker room, and you just have your own little shower. Not easy. And if this kid is so...

worried or nervous about it, you're an asshole, dude. Yeah. It's not something that you, oh, grow up, get over it. Like, it's fine. If he wants to shower at home, let him shower at home. Oh, he stinks. Go fuck off. All young puberty age little boys stink. Yeah. I feel like it's a part of the territory. It comes with growing up.

I mean, he came home with tears in his eyes. That boy had trauma in that locker room. Like, come on. And, like, teenagers aren't nice. They're not nice. Kids are mean. It's not easy being a kid. The stuff I got bullied for in school was, like, a cakewalk compared to the potential you're opening yourself up to by, like, showering at school. Did you ever shower before?

At school? I never did once. I don't think I did, honestly. It wasn't the norm. Even after the pool days, I think I just sat in my chlorine hair. Or maybe rinsed stuff in your swimsuit and then went and changed in a stall or something like that. But I even remember trying to change because you obviously have gym from when you're young, you don't change at all. You just do floor activities in your clothes. But I think you start changing in middle school. And even then, it was kind of one of those things where it's like,

You do it so sneakily or it just felt, it was scary. You felt gross. Everyone's kind of like looking around like, oh, like as fast as you can. Yeah. Well, and like some girls weren't wearing bras yet. Some girls were wearing bras and it was just like, it was just so uncomfortable. I think from a generational standpoint as well, like our generation versus like our parents' generation to our grandparents' generation, like

Our grandparents, like seventh, eighth grade pool time. Guess what? You were swimming naked. What? Yeah. And that was like the norm though. That was the norm. You grew up from like being little and like everybody just did it. And it was like the norm. Everybody just has the same thing. Just get in the pool. Like it's not, it wasn't like this thing. And it. So crazy. Has and how we've been raised has put this.

whatever it is, feelings behind it or stigma. Right. So like, yeah, it's just different. I just think we're more conscious of like, I don't know, like some of this shit where our older generations went through, it's super traumatic. And I think we're, we're one, we've, we've become more politically correct and all that. But I think we've also looked at like, okay, that was not right. And we shouldn't have been putting kids through that trauma. Yeah.

Right. I don't know. I'm mad at this dad. Yeah. There's much better ways you could have gone about this, dude. Like, you could have, like, no kid wants to stink, too. You could have just sat him down and be like, dude, you know, you kind of smell. Yeah. Here, this is, like, some really wonderful Axe body spray. Old Spice. I don't know. I want to know if there's an update. Like, do we find out why this kid had tears in his eyes? Like...

No. He wasn't ready for it. Like he was forced to do something he wasn't ready to. Yeah. Like having your dad be like, don't bother calling your mom. You're not getting into my car until you go back in there and shower. He's 11. 11, you're still a little baby. You're a little baby. That's like your kid's five times two. Like you're still a baby. And so I don't know. OP's comments are. Sixth grade or 12. I counted it out.

So I was born in 1994. In 2006, I was in sixth grade. So six to get to 2000. So you're like 11 turning 12. Yeah, 11 turning 12. So, ugh, just shitty. But what is that, eighth grade then? Eighth graders. Middle school. So, yeah. So OP comments, like, older kids were in the bathroom, eighth graders or 13-year-olds. So he's, that's probably what, sixth or seventh grade?

Yeah, 7, 13, 8, 14. Yeah. It's a lot less serious for boys to shower. He's seen and been seen naked with the same kids who shower at school. Why is it a lot less, and this is my question, it's a lot less serious for boys to shower? Like, there's a big stigma about, you know. That's some toxic masculinity. The downstairs, like, comparison, right? Yeah.

Yeah, I think guys get it really hard. I think I just look at, I had a high school boyfriend who was uncircumcised. And I found that out before I even hooked up with him from his friends bullying him for it. And it was like a running joke at their school. It was bad. But that's kind of, you hear it from size, you hear it from that. Or boys that mature early or late, you know? Well, at...

11, 12, like it's just starting. Right. It's not even, I don't know. It just makes me so sad for that little boy. Yeah. And so OP comments a shit ton. Like someone must have commented like you should have talked to your kid, have a, you know, a nice conversation saying where you're coming from. And OP goes, been there, done that. Peer pressure works fine.

That is not a good parenting mentality to have. That is a very authoritative. Mm-hmm. Tarian. It almost feels like he's like. Control issues. I don't even like that response. Like, it just sounds cocky. This guy's a.

He's a tool bag. Yeah. He has that whole I'm big, you're small mentality. Exactly. You do what I say no matter what instead of, hey, you are your own person who is growing and my job is to facilitate that growth and bring you up in this world. Yeah. And hopefully you become like... It should just be a conversation like, hey, if you're not ready to shower with the rest of the guys, you can shower at home. No big deal. You're an adult. I think too, the not showering at home, it's like, okay, well, are you even paying attention to your kid? Like,

why aren't they showering at home? Has something happened? Because like, I mean, there's so many things that can point to like trauma, abuse, and like, I don't know if it's dad or what, but like maybe he's gone through something. Maybe he's having mental health issues. Like what's the underlying cause here if he was showering and just stopped showering? Because yeah, young boys, pubescent boys sometimes don't shower or have more BO, but like where's all this coming from? And I don't know. I think there's a stage as you're growing up where like,

baths and showers are fun and you go and you hang out in the bath and you play with toys or you're like taking showers now and like that's cool and then at some point it becomes just a thing you have to do. Yeah, it's work. And as a young kid

Who wants to go and do work? Like, I'd rather just, like, you a lot of times probably don't smell yourself at that age. Yeah. Or you go nose blind. You just get accustomed to it, right? Nose blind. Nose blind. Right. And so you're like, I don't need to shower. What do I need to shower for? I'm just sitting here playing video games or I'm just hanging out in my room. Like, I don't need to. But also. It's just not important to me. But as you get older and you start caring about what, you know,

the opposite sex thinks or whatever. Or the same sex. Or the same sex. Like, you know, you start thinking about what other people are thinking of you and then, oh, I need to shower. Here's my thing. What's the worst thing that could happen from this kid being a little stinky? Nothing. Maybe he gets fewer dates?

I mean, he's 11. He's got time to figure it out by then. And he's 11. He's got six months to a year to figure it out. What? People start dating in seventh grade. No way. People start doing the deal. My first little peck on the cheek was eighth grade.

So top comment on this one, which has over 20,000 upvotes, you're the asshole. Forcing him to get naked in a place where he's clearly uncomfortable doing so makes you not only an asshole, but an absolutely terrible parent. Next comment down goes, this traumatized me. Shouldn't even be a thing anymore, period. Too many coaches caught peeping, et cetera. I mean, there's been some bad shit that's happened in locker rooms. Yeah. Yeah.

Why subject your kids to that when he can just shower at home? Yep. Yep. I think we've covered those. We've covered it. Yep. Let's go. Hit the nail on the head. Is there anyone else that agrees with OP? Is there like one person on there that's like, yeah, obviously you should be showering at the school or like...

So this one goes, you're not the asshole for wanting your son to shower. However, you are the asshole for how you went about it. If he's refusing to shower at home after he said he will, that's a parenting issue. Have consequences at home for not keeping his word. Don't force him to go and shower at school in a public locker room.

He's 11 slash 12. This is the age where body issues, body conscious is brought to the forefront. Get to the root of why he's not wanting to shower. For real. That's like the age where you develop lifelong issues. Yes. So you got to be careful. You're so vulnerable. So vulnerable. Yeah. That one only got 170 upvotes. So like it's, it's, I just searched the keyword, not the asshole. And it's, it's literally the very last comment on the page. Moving along.

Am I the asshole for refusing to stop calling my nine-year-old son honey? The situation is a bit silly, but I'll let you guys decide. I, female 36, have been dating my boyfriend Joe, male 38, for a few months. He has met my nine-year-old son, and they both get along pretty well. Joe started staying longer during the weekends, and days ago while he was visiting, he heard me call my son honey. He stayed quiet during the entire breakfast, then brought it up with me.

I asked what was wrong, and he said that I shouldn't call my son honey, especially because I call him that. And he thinks just this term is used for romantic partners. I laughed it off because I thought it was a small and silly thing to comment on, but he got offended by my lack of care for his concerns and asked me to stop using this word with my son since he feels it's misplaced.

I told him, no, this was not a valid argument by him. And in my opinion, does not deserve consideration. We argued for a few minutes. Then he decided to go out saying, we'll talk about this again later. But I firmly told him there's nothing to talk about and I will not stop calling my son honey. End of story. He got upset and went out. He then sent a long text about how I keep disregarding his thoughts, opinions, and input and brush them off, not caring about how it makes him feel.

He said it'd only be reasonable to use my son's nicknames when referring to him, and we can be done with the issue, but I refuse to stop. He's gone silent now, save for a text here and there. Am I the asshole for not compromising and flat out refusing to stop calling my son this word? This is a boyfriend, right? Yeah. Even if it was a husband or whatever, I just wanted to clarify for my own thought, but no, lady, keep doing you. Like, I call...

My daughter, I'm like, she's five. I call her babe. Hey, babe, what you doing? Like, I don't think what you're doing, calling your son honey, is, that's not wrong at all. The kid is nine years old. You don't mean it in a romantic way. Like, honey has nothing to do with

Being romantic. It's a standard term of endearment. Oh my gosh. Okay. So I, that, and that is one of my favorite terms of endearment of all time. I think it's so cute. With my kids, I call them honey so much. I don't even realize it. So to the point where when Eloise and I play Barbies, she's like, okay, mom, you can be the mom and I'm going to be the honey. AKA the honey is the child. That's so cute. Because I call my children honey, both of them.

So much. That's adorable. Honey.

So there's, I think that the boyfriend needs to get over himself. Come on, find your own pet name if this is like that traumatic for you. And then also, if you think about it, what message is it going to send to that son if your mother all of a sudden stops referring to him with this term of endearment and only refers to her boyfriend with this same term of endearment that she used to call her son, her beloved son? Yeah. So, mm-mm. Yeah. Not the asshole.

I think it's weird that it almost feels like he's jealous in a sense to me. Yeah, insecure. Insecure. Yeah, I would say that. He just hasn't found his place in that relationship yet and he's insecure over that. And I just think that this is not the type of person you want in your life, especially as, we'll say a single mother, right? You want somebody who is confident and confident

supportive of you and your relationship with your son. Yeah, support your relationship with your children and complement that relationship, not be the one to be... You don't want somebody to get in...

the middle of it, I guess. It does feel like he's almost competing or looking at her son as competition. He's that insecure about it by basically saying like, you need to stop calling him that, which I think with what you said, Amy, it would almost make her son or could potentially make him feel like his relationship with his mom is not as secure. Right. My mom is picking this guy over me.

My mom stopped calling me honey because he didn't like it. My mom still calls him honey. Because at nine, you don't know that like honey has romantic implications potentially, but like it's not being used that way. So don't make it something it isn't. It's just like, like you said, a term of endearment. Also, I'm just gonna throw this out there. Like there's nothing romantic about honey. No, I think it's a neutral. I feel like honey is a neutral for me. I think you call it, it's a term of endearment.

Like you care about that person. They're like, hi, honey. Like, how's it going? Not, hey, sexy. Right. That's different. Like they're way more romantic type terms. Yeah. And we've already established that this guy's a loser anyways because he's what, ghosted her basically for the most part. Yeah. Minus a few texts here and there. For something ridiculous. If this guy was in it for the long haul, he would work it out and he'd be like, hey, this is how I feel. This is why. Yeah.

And they can have a conversation about it. And then ultimately, like you said, he could have his own pet name. Feeling Justin vibes again. Communicate. Yeah. And he's not doing it. And you know what? I think any man or woman who dates a single parent, they need to realize that that child should be number one. And they need to support and be there for that relationship forever.

And I'm sorry, but until you get married, like you, I don't know. And even then, like as far as status goes, you're not number one, dude. No, her son comes first. Her son comes first. Her son should come first. Like you have not earned that honey title. No. A lot of the comments are kind of picking up what we said. Like someone was like, not the asshole. I would stop calling him that.

him being the boyfriend. Like he sounds extremely insecure. Um, someone else goes, not the asshole. Here's the list of people who have a say on what you call your son, you, your son, end of list, end of list. Yeah. Uh, someone else, not the asshole. In my experience, honey is not reserved for romantic partners. He's being very silly.

Yeah. And OP responds, no, it's definitely not reserved for romantic partners. Like what? I really don't know why this is bothering him so much. Like he has never heard a mother calling her kids honey. People just get goofy. Take him to the curb. On to the next one, babe. I would agree with that. Okay. Two more quick ones and we're done. All right. Here we go. Am I the asshole for not punishing my daughter for ruining her stepfather's briefcase?

I, 34 male, have a 10-year-old daughter, Ava, with my ex-wife. We were together until she was seven. We each got half custody at that time, but it currently is every other weekend at her mom's house. She remarried to someone I'll call Rob, who has two sons, who he clearly favors over our daughter, who he seems to hate.

I've expressed concern at the way he seems to feel about her, but have been shut down. Last weekend, Rob and my ex went on a weekend trip where they had to drive for three plus hours each way. On the way back, Ava was sitting in the third row of their minivan and got sick. She ended up throwing up over Rob's new fancy briefcase that probably cost about $200.

He was mad because they had given her something to throw up in and she purposefully threw up on his briefcase. He said that he didn't think she should be able to see her horse or take lessons until it would pay for a new briefcase for him. And after I picked her up, texted me that.

Her mother boards a horse at the same barn Ava goes to, and so she saw her and was very upset that I wasn't, quote, honoring the agreement. I don't think it was reasonable, and I didn't agree to co-parent with some idiot who hates my child, so I have no reason to enforce his punishments. Her mother says I'm undermining her authority and being an ass. Am I the asshole for not punishing her? Hey, most 10-year-olds...

You know, when they get sick and they got to throw up, they think about it and they purposely try to like throw up to fucking ruin your shit. Like, didn't you know that? What the fuck is wrong with people? These fucking stories are pissing me off, Morgan. My God. I know. I picked really good ones for you.

Why? These are kind of some like just, we're kind of picking on the dad though. Cause like. What is. No, this is the mom. Oh. This is the mom. And her, her new husband, the stepdad. The stepdad. The stepdad's an asshole. But this is her, the mom too.

advocate for your fucking child. Right. Are you that insecure in your ability to attract a good man if this one decides to leave you because you're going to pick your kid over him? See, I heard this differently. I thought this was... Oh, fuck yourself, mom. I thought this was a dad. The dad's writing. The dad is writing. Yeah, he's trying to co-parent with the mom and this asshole Rob, the stepdad. Yeah. So the stepfather, the mom's new husband. Yeah.

He needs to go fly a kite. He needs to go fly a kite. Thank you for saying that because I was going to take it. No, he can fuck right off. Yes. Go stub your toe on a bed 20 times. Eat a fucking can of rocks. I don't care. You suck. He's a terrible human being. Seriously, a $200 briefcase? Come on. Pretentious asshole. It's probably leather too. Wipe it off and give it some saddle soap. No, I'm pretty sure that at $200...

It's not real leather. This guy is cheap as fuck. $200? $200 doesn't buy you a nice briefcase. How much are they? I have an Oakley briefcase that's like $280. For an Oakley? This is why we have separate finances. That was 10 years ago and I worked at the Sunglass Hut. I had a 50% discount.

Google Shopping has them starting decent ones around $300. I see $900. Those are expensive. $475 for genuine leather. Coach has one for $500.

I'm sorry. Wipe it off. Kids get sick. Kids get sick. And like the places I've seen kids throw up, like I feel like when kids get sick, it just like, like for us, sometimes we get a warning like a little bit, but for kids, I feel like it goes from zero to 100 and they're just throwing up. Yep. Yeah. It just happens. I feel like your kids don't throw up that much, do they?

I haven't seen, I haven't heard or seen anything. I mean, they have, right? They've gotten just the stomach bug. They've thrown up on the floor or on the couch or on the bed. Like, whatever. It happens. Like, it just happens. They're not vindictive. No. This kid is terrible. Poor little girl. Yeah, poor Ava. Oh. I feel bad for her. Being bullied from her own parents. She has to feel that. It's ridiculous. She should. It's absolutely ridiculous. Ride that horse every day of the week.

She needs to, like, get extra writing time or something to make up for her jerk of a stepdad. I've been in that situation, too, where a stepparent hates you. And you know, it's really uncomfortable, too. And I was probably the same age, 10, at one point. And it sucks. Like, ugh. Because especially at that age, you just want to please, like, the adults around you, you know? Yeah. This is crazy. I just...

Disciplining a kid for throwing up, it's crazy. But I do want to say, even tonight, or just from my interactions with you guys, you guys stick to a very positive parenting model.

And you're very good about disciplining. Oh, thank you, Morgan. That makes my heart so happy because I try so hard. Sometimes I feel like it just doesn't work. Your patience definitely gets tested. You guys do a great job keeping it together. We try. Nobody's perfect. We screw up. We have moments where we yell. We try not to. We try not to raise our voices. We try not to instill the fear in ourselves.

No. Like, that's not our take, but... Fear-based parenting. Yeah, nobody's perfect. It happens. We rebound. Mm-hmm. But... What's nice about, like, I don't know, when you have a good partner, at least for us, like, we know each other so well that I am about to lose my shit. Yeah.

Matt knows it. And so I can tell like, okay. Go take a walk, Amy. He just takes it over and he like turns on the like the self-control and like he's got it. And when same like we like take turns almost and like, okay, yep, I'm going to take over here. Let's like it almost like gives the other one more patience in a

way, it's really weird. It's like this little parenting dance that happens. And so that's why I like parenting together for us is so much easier and lovelier and nicer and why I hate hunting season so much. Yeah, because you lose your partner. Hunting widow. Someone does comment though that I do like

And they say, please start documenting these incidents of disproportionate punishment slash treatment. If this is a glimpse of the way they treat her constantly, you need to evaluate a custody agreement. Living with them, she will grow up to have many emotional issues. Speak to your lawyer, discuss the situation, check what is needed to be done for you to gain custody. This situation will only escalate. Please, please fight for your daughter. I like that.

Because, I mean, we've talked about it, I think, a little bit throughout all of these stories. But, like, I think the locker room one and showering, especially because, like, things like this shape you. Yeah. And this is... It matters. It's like your most important job in the world is to parent your kids. Do some research. Find out, like, you know, don't just do it the way that your parents did it. It's just because your parents did it doesn't make it right.

Sorry. Soapbox. I completely agree. I shot my computer and I'm smiling. I have a shit grin on my face right now because I saw Matt reading the next title. Matt! I'm just going to throw this out there. I have a hard time following this. Hearing comprehension, yeah. As Morgan's reading it, I like to also read it. I'll print out stories next time. So I can see it at the same time. It gives me better comprehension. Not totally an auditory learner. The last episode...

I... You miss details. I miss some details. It's very easy. I do too. I have noticed like...

this is going to sound like the biggest self-flex, but do you remember when we had to take those standardized tests, like the ACT or SAT or whatever the heck it was? I think it was ACT in Minnesota here. My reading score was the best one. My reading comprehension is really, really good. So when I read these stories, I can remember all the details and even recall them in future episodes then. But when I'm getting a story read to me, it is very hard to sit there and you're like,

okay, I'm trying to stare at the wall. And I'm like, focus. Focus. Yeah. It is really, it's difficult sometimes. People roasted me last time for details I miss. It's okay. I gotta be on the ball. It's okay. I'll open it back up. But I do agree. We've talked about that too where it's like, I got a wooden spoon on my ass. And that's not something you guys parent with. So...

It's great to see how parenting evolves, but it's also hard reminding our parents, like, I got this one. Sit back. Sit back. Gentle parenting. Gentle parenting.

Gentle parenting. Yeah. What did I call it? Positive parenting? Positive. Yeah, I called it positive parenting. Yeah. I'm going to show you an awesome TikTok later. Okay. You're going to love it. Okay. Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on all your personal care favorites. Now through August 27th, save up to $3 or more when you purchase participating personal care items like Pampers Wipes.

Gillette razors, Metamucil, Crest toothpaste, secret body spray, and a Swiffer power mop. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. So last but not least. All right, here we go.

Am I the asshole for describing my wife as fat to our young children? Yes. Yes. 100%. Yes. You don't have to read anything else.

Woo! You wouldn't have to read. We could just go. My wife, 41, and myself, 44 male, both work in education and believe in properly explaining things to our children. Four female, five male. We have agreed to never use, quote, because I said so, reasoning with them. My wife is unfortunately around three stones overweight. Her weight has crept up gradually since having the kids, and I don't think she has ever

Oh, she was aware. You didn't have to gently raise this. Okay, thank you for that. Okay, but she was aware. I think a lot of people are very sensitive to their own bodies, yeah.

She agreed she needs to remedy this. Since then, we have worked together to shift the excess weight and I'm proud to say she's lost around 10 pounds, but she still has a lot of work to do to reach her target weight. She is best at sticking to her diet if there is no temptation around. So for Easter, I got her flowers instead of an egg.

She seemed happy with this. Then yesterday, my children were arguing over a missing Easter egg, each accusing the other of eating it. I knew instantly what had happened. I asked my wife to tell the children where the egg, which was quite big, had recently gone, and she admitted she had eaten it.

My son, whose egg it was, was very upset and confused and asked his mom why she had eaten it. My wife replied that she would replace it, which would be impossible as it's now after Easter.

I pointed out... It's on clearance. Kids care. No, it's on clearance. It'll be even cheaper. I pointed out that she has not answered the question our son had asked. He was very upset and kept asking why she had stolen his egg. I felt it was unfair she hadn't properly answered this as he was getting more distressed. My wife completely threw me under the bus here and said, quote, because I wanted a chocolate, but daddy didn't get me an egg.

Oh, my God.

I used the word fat because my sister is fat and always says it is not a shameful thing and she prefers to be described this way. She says to not use the word implies there's something wrong with being fat. I probably was an asshole to presume my wife would feel the same way about this term and I wonder if I should have said overweight instead. My

My wife hasn't spoken to me since this and has seemed very upset. I feel terrible for upsetting her, but I think she was wrong to have taken our little boy's Easter egg without asking and wrong to have blamed me for her actions. I regret upsetting her and possibly using the wrong terminology or

But I had run out of ways to explain to the children why I hadn't bought my wife an egg. I wouldn't have had to explain why I hadn't bought an egg if she hadn't have told them this fact, or indeed, if she hadn't eaten the egg to begin with. But I do feel I might be an asshole for upsetting my wife. Oh, you are, bro. You are an asshole. Oh. How about...

You know what? I forgot. I completely forgot. It's my fault. I thought your mom would really love flowers more. You know, she really likes flowers. So I thought that she would really like flowers more than a chocolate egg. Yeah. Or I forgot. Because he didn't want to take any responsibility. He wanted to be on her. She was responsible for eating the egg. Your mom's fat. She shouldn't have eaten your fucking egg.

That's what he wanted to get across. He wanted no blame or accountability in this. Agreed. What an asshole. She birthed your children. Also, I feel like 30 pounds, if a stone is 10 pounds, 30 pounds, I feel like I can fluctuate between 20 pounds really quickly. 30 pounds doesn't seem like that much after having two kids. Nope.

Nope, I don't think so. I don't know why you would want to set that tone or example for your children saying that, oh, mom's fat. Overall, regardless of what your sister thinks, that's just ridiculous. You could just say, yep, you know what? I forgot mom ate the egg because she didn't get one, but you know what? We'll get you another egg. And who cares if it was after Easter that you went and got your son another egg? Yeah.

You can still find the candy. That's a cop-out. Kids don't care if it's Easter. They love candy Monday through Sunday, people. Just ask our son. He's the candy man. I will just say, I think there is, like, the sister isn't wrong about,

There are a lot of people that are pushing for the word fat to kind of like reclaim it. It's so different than like gay. Like gay used to be a slur, like in a sense where it's like, oh, you're so gay. And it was like, even look at Taylor Swift using it in a song. Like I'm a big Swifty, but like gay has shifted now. And so-

I think fat and like people who are fat are trying to like take back their power where it's like, you're not going to call me fat. I'm okay with being fat, but that's not something his wife has been okay with. So to use it in this negative context, it's like, it's the context that it was used. How look at Lizzo. She is amazing. Like she is the queen and she is somebody who I think is such a positive example of someone who just like brings her light in my opinion. But,

But it's all the context that this man is bringing to having gained 30 pounds after birthing children. And you know what? If that is her goal because she wants to be healthy, maybe she doesn't feel as good as she used to. Maybe she feels like...

You know, the extra weight is getting in the way of her being active and feeling good. Then great. I love a good supportive husband who is like, yeah, girl, get it. Like if this is your goal, I want to be supportive of you. But then to turn around and he was the one that brought it up. She didn't even say, babe, I want to try eating healthier. He's the one that said, hey, you've gained some weight. Asshole. He body shamed her. Yeah.

And then did it again in front of his kids. Yeah. I think that is huge because then they're going to take that and they're going to apply that to themselves. And they're going to say that when I gain weight, that is wrong and I am less than. When that is the furthest thing from the truth. You are more than and you are enough just the way that you are. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I agree. Yeah.

I may have some feelings about this. Well, it's tough. No, it's just not something that we even say about ourselves. No, on purpose. Yeah.

Like, I don't know. I've put on a few LBs. I could lose some pounds. Like, I'm not sitting around saying... I fell off the wagon. I feel it. Or like, I try not to say that in front of my kids, right? Instilling healthy body images. You want to instill healthy body images. Yes, you want to instill healthy eating habits and be healthy. But guess what? There's candy out in the world. People like candy and...

If she wanted to eat an Easter egg... She should be able to eat that goddamn Easter egg. She should be able to eat whatever she wants. Yeah. How many times have you guys stolen your kids' Halloween candy? Oh, we throw it away. Yeah, we throw it away. What? We throw it away. Why? Because they get so much. It's too much candy. Yeah. Like, when you have a five-gallon bucket full of candy...

Like it would last years. It's too much. I had a Halloween candy for a year once. They would either eat candy all day for a week. Yeah, it's just too much. You just throw it away. They don't miss it. They don't miss it. And they don't miss it. No. But here's the thing. Like how you see yourself, like that teaches your children. So I make a conscious effort. Even if I'm feeling on the inside, I don't like the way I look in this, this stress. If my daughter's around, if my son is around, I'm like, Mommy is beautiful. Like I –

Like, I will never talk myself down in front of my kids because I don't want them to feel, again, less than. Because I felt that as a kid. My mom was always on a diet. She was never good enough in her own skin. And I don't want my kids to have that. I want them to, like, just feel beautiful no matter what the weight that they're carrying. Yeah.

Things happen in life. You slim down, you get heavier, you go through puberty. It's normal. It's normal for women in their 20s to gain a little bit of extra weight. That's normal. I know. I just like something I'm hearing about recently that's kind of being talked about is like women having a second puberty. Yeah. And like we like go through another like weight gain in our 20s and all of this. And I'm like...

Uh-huh, yeah, okay. It's the math is math and it all makes sense. And also weight is a really complex issue. There's family history. There's your genes you're born with. There's environment that you were raised in. There's your emotional health. There's your cortisol levels. There's your thyroid. There's like, there's so many things that contribute to,

to the weight that you carry, it's not just a person's willpower. And I feel like that's the stigma that society has placed on carrying extra weight than you carried in your teens or your 20s. It's their fault they're overweight, which is so not true. That's not the case. Right. And so I really take this...

to heart, I think, because I think I struggled with body image growing up. And like, that is the worst fear as a parent for my kids to struggle with that as well. Like that, like if I can in any way shield them and protect them from the filters, from the like societal beauty standards, we just had magazines when I was growing up. Like now they have like

Instagram, TikTok, everything.

And in fact, my kids have brought up in public even, oh, that person's really big. And you know what I say? Yes. You know what? People are different. We come in all different shapes and sizes, and that's what makes us beautiful. You guys are doing such a good job.

You really are. Parenting is fucking hard. I mean, look at all these stories and what people are going through. This one just, this one, this one was it for me. Amy's fired up. Yeah. So there are some edits. Okay. Let's hear them. My wife said she didn't want anything for Easter. I felt uncomfortable with this. And so I got her the flowers. I don't care about her appearance. She has a family history of heart disease, including her older brother who died of a cardiac arrest in his forties. I worry every day about her health.

I'm just going to throw this out there.

But maybe be a little selfless and recognize that maybe because you've had these conversations about your wife's weight that she was ashamed to a point to admit it in front of you or in front of your kids. Maybe you should be selfless and just take the blame. Again, I would have just said I forgot. I don't understand why he feels the need to bring it up and make her admit it. Why does she have to own up? Why are you making her...

Yeah. I'm not buying his excuses. Now he's backpedaling. Oh, it's about her health. Isn't that what they all say? It's about her health. 30 pounds. Granted, we don't even know her size in general, but 30 pounds from her baseline is not... Again, it's like people fluctuate. That's not... People are human. Even if she is 30 pounds overweight and she said, yeah, she wants to work on her weight. It's not something you bring up with your kids. You don't bring it up with the kids. And what's one...

I don't know, like what kind of Easter egg we're talking about here. Probably a fucking, this is, they sound British. He said mummy and sweeties. They're probably British. It's probably an amazing little Cadbury egg and they're good. Like what? I get why she wanted one. But also, I don't know, but- 500 calories? 1,000 calories? The Cadburys aren't that big. No. But like they do also, like I'm thinking about the big chocolate bunnies we have here. Maybe it's a big egg. But I think here's the thing, like-

Kids are also easily like changed. Like Emmett today was having a meltdown. I go, Emmett, do you want the present Gigi brought you? Instantly stops crying. Yeah, they're upset. Yeah, they're crying. But can't you kind of like divert them and be like, mommy just wanted a taste. I'm so sorry. I'll get you a new egg. You know how you handle the situation. They follow your lead. Right.

Right, and that's how they're going to deal with the stuff in there. He didn't have to do it. He's backpedaling. He's in the wrong. Well, and it's like, but why? But why? We promised our kids we would always tell them the truth when they asked us. I mean, I find that I have that value also, but the truth also can be, I thought your mom would want flowers more. That is also the truth. Yeah. Yeah.

He didn't have to throw her under the bus and almost embarrass her. He was trying to be right and kind of rub it in her face. He's the asshole. And everyone agreed, you're the asshole. A massive, massive asshole.

Does OP ever respond? Do OPs ever respond once they're called out? I've read a couple. The swimming dad was like, there's probably 40 or 50 comments from him. Do they change their tune and change their mind? They're like, oh, geez, thanks, internet.

Or do they double down? But not usually. There is another comment, though. People just need to learn. But there is a comment here that's interesting. They go, why is everyone excusing the wife's behavior? She literally stole from her own child. Let her other child take the blame for it until OP came in there and then tried to throw him under the bus. She's a grown adult and pathetic. Hmm.

Scroll up. That got 11,000 upvotes. There are some terrible people in this world. Rainbow underscore. Maker. Maker. M-A-K-3-R. You are not making rainbows. Bro. 11,000 people agreed. You're a douche. Seriously. Someone else goes out under their comment. I'm with you. Letting her kids blame each other and fight over something she did was an absolute asshole move. Which I get. I get like, yeah, okay, your kid's going at it.

But still the bigger issue here is the way the dad acted in all of this and calling your wife fat. And just you don't have to be right. And are you giving your kids license to call other people fat? Like, yes, like way to go for his sister for embracing that terminology. But in this point in our culture, it's not widely accepted in society. I would be very offended if...

An 11-year-old called me fat. I would be very offended if a 50-year-old... I would cry. I would go home and cry. It's not the social standard, like way to go for his sister for trying to push those social norms, but it's not socially accepted yet. I'm not there yet for myself. I don't think Rainbow Maker or the other person here that's agreeing has really any parenting experience whatsoever.

Have you ever been in a household? Maybe it's 850 square feet. You got two adults, two kids, two dogs. Things are crazy. Kids are fighting. You're not listening. You don't know what's going on. You have one adult taking care of a situation. Shit's going awry. And then it all comes down and you're like, hey. Just both the kids are screaming. What happened to the egg? Hey, wife, like admit it.

Like, who knows what the situation was leading up to that? Regardless, as an adult, you learn to handle situations and de-escalate, especially with five and seven-year-olds or five and six-year-olds in this case. Five and four. Five and four. Yeah. Like, de-escalate the situation. Figure it out. You don't need to bring the other person down. She's clearly feeling ashamed or she doesn't want to admit it if she's involved in the conversation of what's happening. So...

All you people that are agreeing with the asshole man, you can go pound sand and... Oh, God. I thought this was like your redemption tour. Matthew, you're supposed to not cause fights. I'm just saying. Like, it's ridiculous. People need to have compassion and empathy for other people. And like, especially when it's your spouse. Like, own up and...

I don't know. You just don't treat people like that. No, you shouldn't fat shame your partner. Positive intent. This feels like he's... And this is what's annoying, I think, to a thousand percent...

don't like shame your partner don't belittle your partner you're supposed to be on the same team and this almost feels like he's fat shaming her in the moment yes like this feels like a like a subtle dig to fat shame her and to almost like alter her behavior well embarrass her enough to keep on her diet and her healthy eating like this feels like or to induce an eating disorder it just feels wrong you know feels wrong feels wrong feels wrong what else yeah we're still no no no that's it we're two hours deep

Two hours deep. So that's all I got for you guys in parenting. Well, thank you for having us, Morgan. I'm so proud of you. Like you have like done so much and come so far. And I'm just like really, really proud of you. All thanks to my little family. But thank you guys for coming on. Yeah. Thanks for having us. When are we going to release the Married in the Midwest podcast?

To be the truth. I don't think that the viewers want to hear more from us. I don't know. Let the viewers decide. You're not everyone's cup of tea, potentially, but you're some people's. I just think, you know, I just got off on the wrong foot with that last episode. I know, Matt was really feeling that. I have positive intent, people. Like, I mean everything, and...

I took a take. I went with it. I took a hard edge. It's okay. The stripper stories get the best of us sometimes. It's hard. I can be soft. I can reverse. The next theme I have you on, I'm going to call it vulnerable. And we're going to see how vulnerable you can get. Let's do it. People are going to be calling you Charmin. Ultra. You're just so soft. He's like, I don't know about that. Until next time, guys. Bye. Bye.

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