Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
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Hi, and welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan, and today I have another deep dive for you. While Lauren and I were doing the Second Chances stories, this one brought back some memories. And so, fair warning, this one is pretty gross and includes vomit, drinking tobacco spit, and...
It's just not good, you guys. So there's your warning, but let's dive right in. Drum roll, please. Oh, that was really good. Thank you. Yeah, okay.
Feeling annoyed because I just drank my boyfriend's pee. I'm scared. Hi, Reddit. I'm slightly frustrated and confused. I bought a bottle of wine about two days ago. I, 23 female, went to grab a glass of wine while I was cooking dinner for my boyfriend, 21 male, of one year in my small one-bedroom apartment. I drink some of the wine and notice it has a funny taste. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. It's pee.
The entire thing was pee. Or did he pee in the wine? I mean, how do you not notice that right away with the color? Well, if it was like some bottles like are colored, like you can't tell what the wine is because the bottle like the glass is colored right out of the bottle. She didn't put it in the glass first.
I mean, if it was white wine, I'm such a red wine person that like for me, this just like did not compute. But I guess white wine, that makes more sense. Yeah. It's already a yellow, especially if it's a Chardonnay and kind of buttery. Yeah. You got a little yellow tint there. Okay. A little yellow tint. How did that pee get in the bottle? You ask? Well, last night at about 1 a.m., I headed to bed and my already drunk boyfriend mentioned the bottle of wine in the fridge.
I said, no, thank you. I'm going to bed. I also reminded him that he had to be awake at 7.30 a.m. for class. So he decided to stay up until 6 a.m., continue drinking last night, and also ended up drinking the entire bottle of wine. Then peed in the bottle of wine and set it on the counter. Why?
I mean, like he was it funny? Was he blacked out or did he just not feel like going to the bathroom? Because honestly, I'm lazy. I will say if I was a guy, I would utilize the fact that I can just pee anywhere so much more often. The convenience factor of having a penis would be so nice sometimes. Yeah, I was actually doing a U-turn yesterday when I was driving back from your place.
in a really random area and there was a man that was just clearly peeing but I'm like in like it's like it was right around West Hollywood yeah um so there was a lot going on so he's probably at one of the bars but I felt so bad because I was in a neighborhood where it was really dark and quiet and he was like by the bushes and I turn around and I just stop and my spotlight's right on him as he's peeing and you could tell he's just like I'm talking on the phone laughing
Pretends to talk. That's not as bad, though. Like, the amount of people I've literally seen just shit on the sidewalk living in L.A. Well...
Yeah, but I feel like that's probably someone who's homeless. Yeah. That's probably someone who's homeless. I know. And with the pandemic, a lot of those public bathrooms have been closed. So I feel like, I mean, depending on the homeless person, they might not be as aware of their settings. So this guy was definitely aware. He was aware. He was definitely aware. Yeah. Oh, my God.
Anyway, continue. So we don't know exactly why he did it. Craziness. Drunk. Probably blacked out. I mean, he's drinking from 6 a.m. He pulled an all-nighter and drank until 6. And he had class the next day? 7.30 a.m. So he's in college. Yeah, 21. Probably junior or senior year. What an idiot. Boys. It's now, like, when I hear stuff like this, I just feel that I'm thankful. Oh, wait. I did have a boyfriend in college. What am I thinking? Yeah.
I was about to say that I didn't have a boyfriend in college, but no, I had a boyfriend for two years. So I don't know what happened there. I just like malfunctioned. Blocked that one out. But I was just thinking about myself when I was the most savage of a drinker, which would probably have been my freshman and sophomore year. Oh God, no, I was a late bloomer.
Oh, really? Yeah. Like my junior year, I was, well, my junior slash senior, because I graduated a year early. But my senior year, then I was becoming good friends with my friend Jordan. And we would always go to all the hockey games. And so we... Hockey house. What did they call that again? The swamp. Ugh, the worst. It was disgusting. So we were like always like hanging out with our friends that played hockey or like going to the hockey games. And the hockey rink didn't sell alcohol. Yeah.
So we would like take water bottles, smush them up and then slide them in our boots or like our pants. Yeah. Like sneak booze in. I feel like I've done this with you before or maybe. Probably. Yeah. Whether it was with you or another group or whatever. But I've definitely had it before where I put it a smushed water bottle in the back of my bra. Yeah. So like I used to have those little clips where they clip your bra together so it pulls it tighter. So then you have cleavage. It's great. Yeah.
And but it was actually perfect because then it held the water bottle in really well. Oh, my God. So even if they like patted you down. Yeah. Like they usually don't do your back. Do they? Not at hockey games. No, it was pretty. It was pretty chill there. But anyway. Yeah. Getting drunk cheap at a venue. Oh, my God. Yeah. Well, then you just go buy a smoothie and you mix that. You go to the bathroom and it's just rip shots. Yeah. It was great. You had to warm up somehow. The hockey rink is cold.
How do we not have a billion dollar business with this idea? I don't know. Let's come up with a new flask. Okay. So she goes on to say, after waking him up in the morning, I get up, walk into the kitchen and see the bottle of wine sitting out. I placed it in the fridge and fast forward to now. I decide I want a glass of wine while making dinner and I end up drinking it. Okay.
How much of it did she drink? Just a sip? I don't know if she says. Shortly after I drank his pee and I'm continuing to cook us dinner, he leaves to go to the bar with his buddies. He may or may not come back tonight. So I'm just sitting there kind of not sure whether to laugh or be mad. It's weird, you know? On one hand, it's a funny, stupid mistake. I should have been more careful. This is not the first time he has peed in bottles.
So dumb. But again, like I said, I understand. But I would not pee in a bottle. I can't, I guess. Unless I buy that female WeGo thing that attaches on you. I've thought about it when I'm in traffic living in Los Angeles and I have a water bottle and I just think about the fact that guys can just easily do that. I get envious there, but I've never just been at home like, God, if only I could pee in this bottle.
No, but guys do that, especially like extreme gamers. They don't want to get up in the middle of their like damn their games of water bottle. That's intense. Yeah. I've never known an extreme gamer. So I just don't I've heard of them. Yeah. I've seen them. It's a thing. Never known one. I don't know. So she drank it. And then what'd she do?
Basically, she's just saying that she doesn't know what to do. It doesn't even sound like she said anything to him. She's like, on the other hand, I live in a small one-bedroom apartment. The toilet is not far and neither is the sink to dump out a bottle of pee. How do you think you would feel slash react? I'd be annoyed because also I'm concerned wine bottle openings are not that big. So how did he fit his penis up to it to even pee in there? It must be small. Second...
Yeah, your face. You're just... It's because there's something... The minute that you told me this headline, there's a story that I wanted to tell you. However, I've buried it so deep in my memory. Did you drink pee? Like, I don't know if I want to disclose this or not because I feel... Disclose it. I feel so guilty that I blocked it out of my memory. But when I was probably like, I think...
seven or eight years old. God, I don't think I've ever told this story before. I think the only person that knows this is the person who was in on it with me. Oh, wow. But we were in a bottle. So someone would drink it. It's even worse. Oh, my God. Okay. So shut up. Should I? I don't even know. Oh, my God. Okay. So yes, we were big into lemonade sales.
I know. Okay. I know. You got to finish it now. So it was just, it's one of those things where I try to tell myself that like, no, maybe my little kid memory's fuzzy. Maybe this didn't happen because I feel so guilty about it. Oh my God. But basically we were super big into lemonade stands, lemonade sales, whatever you want to call them. And we would always genuinely sell lemonade. Yeah.
One time, me and my friend, when we were – I forget if we were seven or eight. I know we were just – we were really young. Yeah. But we were like, oh, I dare you. Wouldn't it be funny if we peed in a cup? It would look just like it. You sold someone your pee? Yeah. And we like sold lemonade in like little Dixie cups. So they're like a quarter. So it wasn't – It was like a shot glass of pee. Yeah. But anyway, I just – the reason I know it's real is because I'll never forget his face.
And he was our neighbor and we handed it to him and he sipped it in front of us and he goes, mmm. And we just were like giggling to ourselves and –
I am so sorry. Like, I'm just going to say I'm so sorry. I feel so like I don't even know to this day if he knew. I think how could you not know? But also he didn't say anything. But if you've never drank pee before. Yeah. Oh, like, do you really know what it tastes like? Plus, her and I were so coked on on lemonade that it probably was just like lemonade. Yeah.
Like all we did was drink lemonade. So hopefully it was, I don't know. The only reason why I don't like actually hate myself for this is because I learned years later in sixth grade that if you're stranded out in the woods or something like that, you can actually drink your own pee to survive. Obviously it dilutes so you can't just keep on drinking it. Yeah, you'll die eventually. But yeah, but it's sanitary. Right.
I learned that it is sanitary and... Pee is sterile. It's sterile. Until it touches anything. Once you pee, whatever it lands on, it's no longer sterile. But if you pee in a cup, it's sterile? If the cup is sterile. Oh, okay. Okay. Anyway, so I really feel like that OP and my old neighbor should start a support group. Yeah, well, I mean, I could join the support group. So I didn't drink pee. But again...
Those fucking hockey players.
I don't know what it is like in Minnesota with like sports and just like I think athletes in general like chewing. And so I was like talking to this one hockey player and he ended up like coming back to my apartment after like bar close. And I had this bottle of smart water next to my bed. And I don't like drinking water. Like sometimes the taste of water in me just we're not friends. And so I always used to pour these like crystallite packets of like Arnold Palmer or whatever other flavor. This time it was Arnold Palmer. Okay.
So I had this smart water next to my bed and we ended up like going to sleep. I wake up the next morning and I'm hungover. I just want water so bad. And so I reached next to my bed and I grabbed my smart water bottle. Well, it wasn't full of Arnold Palmer anymore. He had decided to use it as his tobacco spitter. No. And I didn't even hold it in my mouth. I just gulped it. And immediately after I'm like, ugh.
like choking on tobacco cud like spit and he's like looked at me he's like did you just drink that no I'm like
At least he wasn't trying to be an asshole because I had that happen to me in high school where I thought it was like rum or whatever dark alcohol that people drink in high school. Captain Morgan. I don't know. And I was at a party and there was this guy who I always had the biggest crush on. I thought he was so cute. And he's like, hey, Lauren, want to drink this? Do you want a shot? Oh, what a dick. Yeah. And so he handed it to me and I took it and I was like, sure. And I thought like...
such, why are guys such assholes? And all the guys around him were like, no. And so now looking, and I didn't really understand, but then afterwards, one of the guys said it's his spit. Oh, and rude. Yeah. But it's so funny because now that guy that I had a crush on the same one who did this, like, I don't know if he has some type of issues, but he'll randomly just try to hit me up on my social medias and he'll be like, God, you're so sexy. Like, oh my God. Like I was,
He was probably going to get off on you drinking his fucking chew spit. Honestly, I don't know. Or maybe he was just such a dick in high school. And then just, it's funny how now all of a sudden was like, I don't know. But anyway, it almost, it almost was satisfying that I'm like, no, thank you. Ew. Yeah. And after what he did. So I'm like,
Yeah, you get on your hands and knees and crawl for me, bitch. Yeah, fucking bow down. God, what an asshole. Well, I think with this girl, one, I would be really fucking annoyed if you drank my entire bottle of wine. Like, no. Like, I'm very protective of my wine. And two, like...
Small apartment. Like you literally couldn't get your ass up off of a couch or wherever you were to just walk to the bathroom. And then you leave the bottle of piss wine on the counter. At least like you already brought it all the way to the kitchen. Just pour it out.
So does she follow up with what if she confronted him? Because this is something that if this was a theme or a trend, then it's just like absolutely not. But if he's just being a drunk college kid, it's like, I mean, you know what happened to me in college? No, what? This didn't spark a story of yours or of mine at all? No. Really? No. Now I'm like...
Where are you going with this one? What? I've never heard this story. See, I used to never tell anyone at all. And then one day I told people I was drunk and I told people this story and everyone just loved it. That it was like now like made me feel a little bit more comfortable, even though it's like messed up. Yeah. But OK, so basically one night when I was with my college boyfriend of two years, so that I did have sex.
We were both drunk. We came back from the bar, and I went into my room – or I went into the kitchen to make food. We had a really big apartment. I had multiple roommates. Like, I went to the kitchen to make food. Then I went to the living room. I'm talking to my roommates. I go back into my room, and he's sleeping, and he has –
a bowl with a spoon and like some type of like porridge thing that he made. And so he, he already passed out, but I was like, what did he make? Cause I was just curious. Cause I was making whatever I was eating. I don't know, toast or something. Oh my God. So anyway, I take a huge spoonful and I eat it and I'm like,
what the fuck? That's disgusting. What the hell did he make? No. And then, so then anyway, like I put the spoon back in there and I'm like, whatever. Then I pass out right next to him. Like just, did you swallow it? Oh yeah. I swallowed it. I was like, that was disgusting. I mean, I was also drunk. Like, and so, and then anyway, I wake up the next day. My gag reflex is so triggered right now. You have no idea. So I woke up, I just told this story a handful of times. So now I'm over it, but I woke up the next day and he woke up and he looked at me and then he looked over at the bowl of food and he goes,
Like that face where it's just like, oh. Oh, fuck. And I go, yeah, what did you make last night? I tried it and it was really bad. And he goes, no. You ate that? And he goes, I puked in there. And I laughed.
And I literally just instantly like. Threw up? I ran to the bathroom and I was gagging the entire time I was running to the bathroom and crying. Because like something about like and I was staring at it as I just knew that I in my soberness like that I ate it. I was just disgusted. But that smell alone too. How did you not know from the smell? I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I was drunk and like, I don't know how I didn't notice. Like maybe it wasn't like that bad. It was like, it wasn't as stomach acidy as some can be. So, but yeah, I think it's like really, really disgusting, but you know, maybe it brought me closer to him and our relationship. I don't know, but I'm like, literally, I just can't even imagine. I, I just, I really never tell you that story. I've never, I've never heard this story. No way. Never.
ever telling you this before. I've never heard the story about you eating your boyfriend's puke. Wow. Yeah. Well, so anyway, moral of the story is that
Or lesson learned, I should say, is that I had cereal that morning. So I ate my cereal and I left my bowl and my spoon empty there right next to my bed. Yeah. So... He didn't want to go to the bathroom to puke. So he threw up in the bowl and I thought it was like he made this new dish. And because it's all set up with a spoon. Like, how often do you see throw up in a cereal bowl with a spoon in it? Like, not often. So I just want to like...
I'm just going to try to block this memory out of my brain. Anyway. Steer this one out. Lesson learned. If you eat cereal next to your bed, put the dishes away. Just put them away. It won't happen. Yeah. I...
I don't know what it is. I recently came across like a Twitter post. Like, is it just me or does every, every family have like a puke bowl that you always use? And I'm like, Oh, actually, yes, I did. Yeah. It wasn't a bowl. It was a bucket. Yeah. So everyone in the thread was like, yeah, like this old, like stainless steel kitchen bowl. Mine was purple. Oh,
Well, I like I've always thrown up in a stainless steel bowl. And literally like everyone in the comments was like, what is wrong with you white people? Because it was only white people. Everyone else was like, have you guys never heard of a toilet? Blah, blah, blah. You do both. But sometimes you're just like so weak and you're in bed. You can't. As a little kid. And your mom just puts it right next to you and puts a towel underneath it. And then she takes the bowl and then dumps the bowl out in the toilet. Yeah. Yeah. I would like to know if this is a common thing. Like, did everyone grow up with a puke bowl slash bucket? Yeah.
Or were you normal? What is normal, though? It's fake. It doesn't exist. It's a social construct. Literally, it is, though.
I've never finished Sapiens, but I've read quite a bit. I've always like I'll start Sapiens and then I stop reading it and then I forget it. So I read it again, but I never get to the end. Oh, my God. But it really just makes you think you're like, wow, our entire world is just social constructs. It is. That's all we are. Yeah. No, totally. All brands are. That's all companies are. LLCs are. It's crazy. Yeah. 100%. Yeah.
So, OP goes on to say,
But to be honest, I really thought guys pissing in bottles was normal. But this thread I'm seeing that it's 100% not. I feel so disgusted, grossed out and disappointed. I feel like I'm supposed to laugh it off because I thought it was normal, but I just got mixed up. Early in the day, he returned from class, said he wanted a nap for a few hours. I asked him if he was eating dinner with me and what time he wanted to be up. Later in the day, I woke him up while making dinner. The wine incident occurred. And then he told me he was going to drop by a bar to have a beer with his buddies and return to have dinner very soon.
I was frustrated and told him I was feeling annoyed about him not dumping the bottles he pees in and that the kitchen counter was a horrible place to put a pee bottle. I did not have much else to say and was also annoyed because I was cooking us a pretty extravagant dinner and he was just leaving to the bar.
Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on personal care items at your local store. Now through August 27th, get extra discounts when you purchase participating items like Dove Beauty Bar, Dove Body Wash, Dove Men Plus Care Body Wash or deodorant, Dove Shampoo, Trace-A-May Shampoo and Axe Body Spray. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary.
Visit Safeway.com for more details. I would break up with this one. I don't think he... Yeah. Why? I don't think he warrants a second chance. Like, first of all, your girlfriend just drank your pee and it sounds like you, like, granted, I know you're in college, but it sounds like you might have a little bit of a drinking problem. Well, true. Yeah. It's...
Just, oh, yeah, she goes on to say he left about three hours ago and he just told me he was going to play poker with his friends. So he's out for the night. He just doesn't really care. Yeah. He's just no, no effort given. It's just kind of to me. I'm just like, no second chance. I would. I mean, honestly, it's like until she really explains to him, because right now it sounds like she's just trying to get.
her thoughts in order and talk to Reddit, which by the way, Reddit community is actually very positive, surprisingly. Like a lot of people are so, I don't know, they really give good advice. They're not there to just tear people apart, which it's like I see some TikToks and people are just like tearing people apart. So when I look at comments on Reddit, I'm like, wow, this is so nice. But I feel like she's just trying to gather her thoughts and then from there actually have that conversation because, I mean,
Yes, it sounds like he has a drinking problem. However, like you said, in college, a lot of people did stupid shit. So it's kind of like, is this going to be how he's always going to act? I just don't think it's worth it. This comment kind of says how I'm feeling. What are you getting from this relationship that you can't get from any other guy on the planet?
Literally. Any other guy. I just don't like how he reacted at the end. Like how he's just kind of like, ha ha, whatever. Like, fuck you. I'm going to hang out with my friends all night. After you just made this super nice dinner and you drank my pee. Yeah. Rude. That's the part that I don't like. But, I mean, if...
Maybe I'm biased because I really hope the lemonade sale guy forgives me. You just have so much repressed guilt that you're like, it's okay. It's not that bad. Heads would roll. He said he was going to be home for dinner. You were cooking something extravagant and he's literally ditching you and that's okay. Heads would roll. Yeah, that's fucked up. I hate that. I'd be pissed there. Yeah, no, I would...
But I, yeah, but I mean, it's like, cause that's something when I ate my boyfriend's throw up, LOL, that sentence, but whenever I did that, um, I, like I was mad at him because of, I was mad that that happened. Yeah. But,
I mean, we were able to laugh about it later. He wasn't like, well, that was like, you deserved it. Yeah. No, that was a total accident, but it doesn't sound like this. But it still was him being drunk and throwing up in a bowl next to my bed. You know what I mean? Like, it's still kind of as long the same. But did he like kind of make it up to you? And like, he didn't go and go out to dinner with his friends after I cooked him dinner. So yeah, like, I mean, yeah, it definitely, that's what I'm saying. That second part is where I'm like, fuck this guy. But the first part, I'm like, come on, just a little pee. It's sterile. No, no,
No thanks. So you're next in him. Yeah, this isn't the first time he's peed in the bottles. She said she's always pouring out his piss bottles. Ew, that's disgusting. Yeah, like this sounds like just a lazy boy who's walking all over her. And I'm not about it. I didn't know she was the one who actually cleaned up after him. She said in the comments she's been, typically she just pours out his piss bottles. Ew, that's disgusting. That's not cool. That's not normal. That's weird. That's not normal. Yeah, not normal at all.
Don't pee in bottles. Okay, fine. I'll next him too. You convinced me. I mean, I don't want to sell you, but... But you did. You're such a good saleswoman. And that brings us to the end of this deep dive episode. Short, sweet...
to the point full of grossness. I hope you guys don't look at us any differently, but you probably will because that was absolutely disgusting. But if you have any personal submissions, feel free to reach out to hot takes at Gmail or connect with us on Instagram. We would absolutely love to hear your own personal stories and just kind of what you guys think about the podcast. Until next time. Bye.
Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on personal care items at your local store. Now through August 27th, get extra discounts when you purchase participating items like Dove Beauty Bar, Dove Body Wash, Dove Men Plus Care Body Wash, or deodorant, Dove Shampoo, Trace-A-May Shampoo, and Axe Body Spray. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary.
Visit Safeway.com for more details.