Sometimes a Break is Best.. Ft. Father Knows Something
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Nice to meet you. Or maybe we've met before. I'm the COVID-19 virus. I use disguises to fool your immune system. My buddy the flu virus and I make thousands of people sick every year. But updated vaccines make it a lot harder.

Don't make it easy for these viruses. Stay up to date on your COVID-19 and flu vaccinations this fall. Sponsored by Champions for Vaccine Education, Equity and Progress. CVEEP.org. Hi, friends. I know, I know. You're like, when's the Too Hot Takes episode going to start?

I am taking the week off for my mental health. But of course, I can't leave you guys hanging. So first of all, live show tickets are on sale. We've sold out in a couple cities and shows have already been added. So check it out. And now on to what we're doing today.

We, as you can see, just celebrated 100 episodes of Father Knows Something. This is a little labor of love, love child between Justin and my dad. And it has been a magical journey of taking listener write-ins, only listener write-ins,

and just kind of giving our advice and responding to people. And for our magical 100th episode, we did all updates. So if you are one of those people that you love hearing a story and then getting an update, this would be a great place for you to start. But today's episode, get to the point, get to the point, Morgan.

We are taking some of the best Father Knows Something stories we've had. Ones that have made me cry. There's a lot of them. Ones that have enraged us. There's some amazing, amazing write-ins we've had. So we are giving those to you guys today, all piled up, smushed together. It's going to be good. It's going to be really good. So come watch. Come join us. Enjoy this episode. Let's dive in.

My 23-female boyfriend, 25 male, just got asked to be a groomsman for his best friend's wedding. The couple getting married have been friends with my boyfriend since they were all in high school together. The bride's bridal party includes a woman, 25 female, who my boyfriend used to date in high school and remains friends with now.

When she was asked to be a bridesmaid, she said yes and asked to walk down the aisle with my boyfriend at that part in the ceremony.

This is where it's a good time to say I've had to work on my attachment issues throughout my relationship with my boyfriend because I have had very emotional reactions to situations like this in the past. About a year ago, I saw a 25-female flirting with my boyfriend across the room at a party. I bottled it up until I had a breakdown one day, went through my boyfriend's phone, and questioned him about any texts with her that seemed suspicious.

At the end of the day, I don't trust 25 female, but I trust my boyfriend. So how do I avoid reacting like that again and ultimately help this wedding be a good experience for everyone? Ideal outcome, stop freaking out, enjoy the wedding, and not do or say anything that would stop everyone else from enjoying the wedding. Additional info, the bride and groom are having their bachelor slash bachelorette party together also.

In the past, my boyfriend told me he doesn't have romantic feelings for 25 female, and when they dated, he realized she wasn't his type. I trust my boyfriend, but am more worried he'll get put into a situation that I feel some way about. We've had stories like this in the past. This is a juicy one. I got some feelings. Let's go back to the basics.

The more flung you start flinging in the air about this thing and start showing your insecurity, the worst problem you're going to have with your relationship. And if there's any cause in your real mind to think there's something really that's going to be a problem, then maybe you should rethink it. There's too many people who go down the aisle and when they get there, they finally say at the wedding, they either say, I do, and they should have said, I don't. Or they should have said, you know, we need to call it off.

The reality is you're going to have to be able to have trust. And if you trust him, and the more that you trust him, the better it's going to be in reality for your relationship. Should I have a question for you? Sure, go ahead. So let's say our writer does truly trust him. She's saying she trusts him. It's the girl she's worried about.

You can trust your partner, but do you feel that they should have a certain level of respect for you to maybe not engage with certain people that are being disrespectful to you? Well, let me ask her a question because I missed one part when they said, can she be a bridesmaid? She said that she wants to walk down with her boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend. She wants to go down with the groom-to-be? No, he had it right. He had it right. He just mixed the him and hers. He was saying...

To walk down with her boyfriend saying the writer is her. Yeah. Yes. You had it straight. So our writer is the current girlfriend of this guy. Is she the one that's getting married to this guy? No. Okay. Oh. Yeah, he's confused. So our writer is writing in, she's just a girl dating this guy. Okay. This guy has friends that are getting married. Okay. The bride is friends with his ex.

ex-girlfriend. The ex-girlfriend is a bridesmaid. And they're going to walk down the aisle together. She said, can I walk down the aisle with him? And then she flirts with him all the time. So our writer is being like, I trust my boyfriend, but I don't trust her. You can't control. You can't control the people in life. You just can't. So yeah, you want to go back and say, should she have respect and all this other, she, if she wants to be an immature person and be disrespectful, she,

You're not going to be able to control people. It's not reality of life. She's still got to be confident enough that in him that he is locked. Look, I can take this guy anywhere in the world. I know one thing. He's locked. He isn't budging. He's resolute in what he wants in his life. Strip club. Let's go tomorrow.

I can guarantee that it's not an issue. And nor if he went to a strip club, would you be bugged by it? One of my best friends went to a strip club. His wife would forbid him from doing it. She walked in one time. She took him by the back of his hair and she pulled him out. Some people have their boundaries. And there you go. Was he doing anything wrong? No, but he certainly lost some hair that day.

You got to trust who you're with. It's the end of the story. If you do not trust them, then move on because there's something tripping there. Go ahead. I was going to say, I have a question for you now. I have the biggest question of all. Okay, let's hear it. If she truly trusts him, would we have a write-in? Maybe not. Because there's something...

It's I trust him, but there's a little asterisk with it. And then down below it says, but there's this girl. There's a there's a burr, isn't it? Because if you trust someone 100 percent ironclad, you would trust them to a point where you expect them to put up a wall for all this. And it's not going to be an issue. So here's my question. I was going to ask you. Go ahead.

If this were me and one of my friends was getting married and the guy that I was going to walk down the aisle with was an ex-boyfriend who still flirted with me and was asking, can I walk down the aisle with Morgan? If I had seen for the last five years of you, this person flirting and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just who he is and whatever. And there's nothing going on. And I truly trust you.

I'm like, all right, it's gonna be fun to watch. You know, like it's- I got one for you. Let's just bring it. Because I would believe in my heart truly that you would not play into any of it. Yeah. And if you're not going to play into any of it, what does it matter? But don't you think just like to respect our relationship, don't you think I should have gone to my friends and been like,

It's kind of weird that we would walk down together like we're all friends in this group, but like we're not together because a lot of times in weddings, you do see people that are married or together and friends with both people and they walk down together. These

These two aren't associated anymore. Why is she asking to walk down the aisle with him? I mean, in a perfect world, she wouldn't. She would respect it, but she's not. She's just whoever, what she is. But why can't he go to his friends and be like, hey, you know, this is kind of weird. What if you don't want to stir the pot? I don't understand her reasoning, and I really don't care. The bottom line really is, is that

Do we trust him? It goes into my world. I love this saying. It's binary. It's black or white, no gray. Do we trust him? Yes or no? You absolutely would. You could walk down the aisle with anybody and you'd be fine. You're not going anywhere. You're not drifting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it. Okay. Amy...

has a guy that she dated years ago. The two of them who I know, both of them, the bottom line is she can be very cheap. He can be very, very frugal. And they go once a year to a conference looking at jewelry because that's their business. The point is they go to the... She goes, do you care if I share a room? I said, I could give a shit because I trust her. Here's where I'm getting...

I think you can have all the trust in the world for your partner and truly mean it and believe it.

But I think there comes a point where you also don't need to keep getting shit on by someone. And I think there's a thing here where maybe this isn't the time to stir the pot. But if there's someone that keeps disrespecting your relationship, you get to a point where you're tired of getting shit on. And then you need to ask yourself if he's not willing to advocate for you and there is this level of disrespect,

One might interpret it that way. One could say, Morgan, you're being crazy. This isn't a big deal. But for me, this would start to feel a little purposeful.

She's trying to wiggle her way back in. What's going on here? And it doesn't matter. Like, there comes a time where there should be a basic level of respect. You're now dealing with this friend group. Everyone's in it. Don't keep shitting on me. Don't keep trying to weasel your way in. But make your life an ideal world. You can't control her. But you can control your... What happens if she's really not shitting on him? Wait a minute. What happens if she's really not shitting on him or shitting on her that the...

That this is just her interpretation. Why does she want to walk down the aisle with her ex-boyfriend? Who knows? They might be friends and they may have some fun. Make friends with a new groomsman. This is where we're going to agree to disagree. And I would love... I don't know. Like, I just... For me, this feels... This feels a little purposeful. And maybe it's because I know women a little better than you guys. And I think girls can be a little malicious sometimes. And this feels too...

This doesn't feel like an innocent, I want to walk down the aisle with Charlie. Okay. Let me help you. I don't like it. Let me help you with your argument. Okay. Here's your argument. I know there's people in my life that would, that accepts the fact that I have a girlfriend, but in their own, they always, there's a little cynicism in their comments to me and I don't like it. And I point blank have said, I don't like it.

So I've stepped up and said, not interested in that behavior. So I get what you're saying. Yeah. Okay. But it's also, I, but I myself can tell when that's going on. I don't know from her view, what she's seen to what he has seen. Okay. So, so, I mean, a lot of this is, we got to really find out from him. She's needs to ask him, does he, does he see it as just,

fun and play, or does he see something that's really being disrespectful to me? Because if you see that she's being disrespectful to me, I would hope that you would, you know, not allow that to happen. If you care for me, that part I get. That's what's like annoying for me. And the bottom line, if she can take him, you don't want him. Like if something happens on this bachelor bachelorette trip, you don't want him. Like truly, if she can take him,

letter. You don't want him. But if he's kind of just like turning a blind eye to disrespect, that's where I'd kind of get annoyed and be like, hey, like this is your friend. I would appreciate if you would just say like, hey, I'm with my girlfriend. I really love her. Like, could you cool it? Like, it's just kind of annoying. Like, I just like it would bother me if Justin had a girlfriend, like truly a girlfriend and

And even if they had never had a past, if he had a girlfriend that was super flirty and touching him all the time, no matter if I trust him, it's still annoying and feels disrespectful to me. Now I got a question for you. What happens if...

She's really not behaving to the limit that she has seen, but she's interpreting it as that. Anybody else would say, you know, because I don't want her to be a jealous girlfriend. No, and our imaginations can sabotage and get the best of us. Because if her imagination is sabotaging her, she may have just screwed up from her own insecurity. A hundred percent, self-sabotage, yeah. A great guy.

So you need to weigh out really, is she really being disrespectful to you? Or is she just being a friend that they've had history? They're friends. They can enjoy each other, but not have any future together. And that's really where you kind of have to make your own determination. But I would not be...

Don't be the paranoid, jealous girlfriend, but at the same time, you can have these open conversations with your partner. Yeah, you can look at him and say, I just want to ask you a question. If you at all see it where it's disrespectful to me, I would hope that you would step up and say, this is disrespectful to Andrea. Yeah, I think that's totally fair. And I think...

that's the best way to proceed forward probably without stirring the pot. And you know, if he doesn't want to ask to walk down the aisle with someone else, like let them do what they're going to do. Do I think it's weird? Yeah. But that's, that's, can we, can we agree that we agree on something besides disagreeing? I think we agreed on that to have the conversation. Yeah. I don't know. I really want to hear other people's opinions because I'm sitting here with two boys and I'm

Excuse me, I'm not a boy. I am a man. Sometimes dudes don't get it. I'm your freaking father. As soon as it was flipped, it would be like, oh no, it's all fine. No, no. If I had an ex-boyfriend, like if I had this situation and my ex-boyfriend was like, I want to walk down the aisle with Morgan, I'd be like, why? Hi, Papa Jerry, Morgan, Justin,

And sweet little Holly. Oh, we have Oliver today. We did. What happened? He's probably peeing on the rug again. No, he's at the door. Don't be giving him a false. He already peed on the rug. He's been here for like an hour. Okay. I'm a 15-year-old girl and my dad died in a car accident when I was eight.

i was an only child and me my mom and my dad were very close i still miss him every day my mom struggled for a while but she is the strongest person in the world she finished her education two years ago as an electrical engineer i think that is pretty badass girl power and i'm very proud of her i was the center of her world after my dad died and she had no interest in dating for a long time

After finishing her education two years ago, she got a new job. I noticed soon after that something was off. She was suddenly on her phone when we were watching movies, etc. And that wasn't like her. I had my suspicion and after about a month she told me she met someone at work, but she wanted to be sure it was serious before she introduced me to him. I was okay with that. After about six months, we invited him to our house so the two of us could meet for the very first time.

He seemed like a really nice guy and I could see he made my mom very happy. He has a son who is five at the time. These last 18 months, all of us have gotten to know each other better and better.

My mom and her boyfriend are very happy together. I now refer to my mom's boyfriend's son, now seven, as my little brother. He is an amazing kid and despite our age difference, we have a lot of fun together and we get along really well. My mom and my brother have gotten really close and he more often than not calls her mom.

For context, his biological mother left when he was a newborn and hasn't been in the picture since. Then there's me. I have to admit, I've been pretty closed off towards my mom's boyfriend. Sort of a he's not my dad and will never be a replacement mentality. We have always been nice to each other, but I haven't gone out of my way to make him feel welcome in our family like he has done to me. For the last few months, I've been caught up in the feeling of my mom replacing my dad.

She's all happy again and of course I'm happy she's happy, but we talk less and less about my dad and I'm afraid she'll forget about him. She has a new man and her boyfriend has a new woman and my brother has a new mom. Me and my mom are usually very open about everything, but I don't want to tell her about me feeling left out because I don't want a replacement. I just want my dad back.

but I can't. I don't want to crush her and their happiness. Last night, though, at dinner, my mom's boyfriend asked me a couple of questions about my dad to know what he was like, and then he told me I look like him. I mean, I know I do, but the acknowledgement from him about my dad's existence absolutely means a lot. After dinner, I went upstairs only to realize I forgot something downstairs, so I went to get it.

I know it's wrong to listen in on other people's conversations, but I got caught up when I heard my mom and her boyfriend talk about my dad. Long story short, I heard him tell her that he has all the respect in the world for my dad, and he realizes that he will never replace him, nor does he want to. But he's worried about me not having a dad, uncles, or granddads at 15, a very vulnerable age."

He would love to step in, not as a replacement, but as an extra father figure to love and support me in life. But he feels like I'm closed off and he doesn't know what to do. Me and my mom love Christmas and we have a thing for what we call silly socks like Papa Jerry has. Oh my God, I'm going to lose it. And our tradition is to wear Christmas silly socks every day in December.

Since this is the first Christmas the four of us live together, I went shopping last week and found three new pairs of Christmas silly socks for my brother in addition to my old ones that are too small for me but still in perfectly good condition, so I gave them to him.

I explained our tradition and he was so happy about the socks and is looking forward to December so he can wear them. The thing is, my mom's boyfriend is more of a boring black socks kind of guy and he laughs at our silly socks. Not in a negative way, though. I don't think he would dare as he knows the seriousness of silly socks in our home. LOL. I'm thinking about buying Christmas silly socks for him and surprise him with them on December 1st.

It could be my way of including him in our family tradition without telling him that I want him included in our family. My mom's boyfriend has been really nice since day one and has told me countless times that if I need something, I can always ask, etc. I think he has done everything he can do to reassure me that he is a safe space without pressuring me.

And I fully acknowledge that the issue is on my side. Even though I know it's wrong to listen to other people's conversations like I did, I needed to hear what I heard for me to even think about breaking my defense wall. I think I'm ready to open up a little, but I have no idea how to approach this. Do you have any advice? I'm going to let my daughter go first. No. Yep. No, you can go. I got to get my shit together over here.

I am going to tell you that your mom hit a second home run. This is insane. No one gets this lucky twice. So let me start with you on this one. Because when I first saw the story, and remember I picked these stories, and I saw your age,

I was hesitant because, you know, sometimes when we give advice where there's a minor involved, I don't know how much, you know, exposure that we really have. But your story to me was a story that had to be read and you had to be answered. And you are blessed. You have had a gift from heaven with a man that is so special, so wonderful.

so giving of heart and compassion and understanding. And I think you realize it. I think you see it. You just don't know how to deal with it. So I'm going to start with number one. No way, no how will you, your mother, this man, everyone in your life will ever forget who your father, your biological dad is and was.

That love, that specialness that you have, no one's going to forget. So we don't know how people come in our lives. And it could have been your dad that found this person or somehow there's a deal made in heaven that this guy was brought at the right time and when your mom was ready to move on and go forward and to find happiness. You guys are a new family.

And it doesn't mean he's replacing your dad, but he's certainly going to bring everything that your dad was there to give you. He wants to step in and be a part of that and honestly give it to you. I've been there. I'm not talking about Morgan and I'm not talking about Matt and Taylor. I dated somebody that had a child and that person never had a father. Father

conceive with the mother and he disappeared. That was the end of it. And I opened that door, but there was so much confusion in that person that it was hard. It was difficult, but I was relentless to be there when that person is ready. And even though I'm not a part of his mother's life anymore, if that one day that young fellow calls me up and says, can I ask you something? I will still be there.

Because that's who my character is and that's who this guy's character is. So allow it, enable it. Let him be a part of your lives just like you want. And don't think for a second that all of you are not going to celebrate the life and the memory of your biological father because all of you will give him that much more love and respect. Yeah, this is, oh, it was really tough for me to listen to. But I think like first and foremost, yeah,

no one is ever going to replace your dad. And it sounds like this guy is great. He's so inclusive. He's respectful of your boundaries. He wants to just be there for you when you're ready. And you kind of say in this, you know, right? And you're like, I get it's me. I get it's my fault. And you're not at fault at all. Like this is

I imagine such a natural feeling and it is scary and you don't want your dad to get forgotten. And

you know, hearing him ask questions about him and acknowledge him is meaningful. And I think the sock tradition is amazing. I think you should, if you're feeling comfy, get him some fun socks. I think he would love that. But I also think you guys should have a new tradition. And maybe it is lighting a candle one night and talking about your dad.

It will happen naturally, too. I think you can bring it up, though. You're at an age where, you know, things are progressing forward and people are moving on. And I think starting one of those traditions could be really meaningful. Yeah.

And you also have a little brother that doesn't really have a mom. And while he's, you know, growing up now with your mom, he might be feeling some things he wants to talk about. So I think having, you know, a little, you know, intimate night where you light candles and talk about your feelings or do something to acknowledge the people that aren't in your life anymore could be really meaningful and draw you guys closer together as a family. But

I think you're going about this the right way. Healing and growing up and moving forward in life is not the same for anyone. And you've gone through a lot losing your dad at such a young age. So don't put too much pressure on yourself. You are a family though.

Yeah. It sounds like one wonderful family. It does sound great, but you don't have to feel any pressure to, I need to embrace this. I need to be a family right now. Like there's no pressure. He's there. He's ready when you're ready. So just take it easy on yourself. I think, you know, trying to hop into it and play house too fast can kind of maybe not be right for you. And it's been going on for two years.

Could take 10 for our writer. It could take 10. You know, there's no linear process in this. And I think you, you know, don't feel bad for overhearing the conversation. I think, like you said, you needed to hear it. And now you know, and you can move forward slowly, however you want, just knowing that he is a good guy, which is really, really important because

I mean, you listen. How many stories have we gotten with step parents that suck and are just terrible even after the loss of someone's, you know, other parents? So you got a good one. Don't stress about it. I'm a strong believer in the universe and what it brings us. Let me add the additional here. Okay. I can show him with Christmas silly socks and other ideas forever.

but for me, it's important to talk about things as well. I think I need to hear what he told my mom, but him intentionally telling me. I need his assurance that he's okay with me having my dad's picture in my room and me telling stories from my childhood to refresh my memories of my dad. I would like for him to become an important part of my life and be able to introduce him as my stepdad with

without losing everything I have left to my dad. I think that's great. I'm like, are you sure you're 15? The whole writing? Oh, it's crazy. This is too well written for 15. She did a beautiful job in your feelings, your ability of articulating. And yes, I really do say when you ask him, can I share stories of my dad with you so I don't forget? He is going to jump at

at the chance of trying to always keep that alive with you and be a part of it with you and also be a man in your life that can guide you and give you love as a parental person. Well, and I think it's totally okay to tell your mom that you are scared of forgetting your dad. I mean, this is your mom. You guys sound really close. I think if you guys, you know, you go to your mom and you say, can we go out to lunch or can we go to dinner just us two one night? Yeah.

it is totally okay to tell your mom this because your mom also loved your dad. Your mom might be dealing with the same feelings of like, I feel guilty for moving on and I don't want to forget him either. So you guys both could be feeling this, but you're too, you know, nervous dancing around each other that you haven't acknowledged it. So go to dinner with your mom and tell her and talk to her and then say, can we do something to remember dad? You

You know, if it's on his birthday every year or around the holidays, whenever you may even find it that you're, that this fellow will be glad to go to your dad's gravesite with you and be a part of that. I have, I have a sister who lost her love of her life and the man that raised her children. And she thought she would never be whole again. And my niece was on an airplane guy sitting next to her.

started talking and before you know it she fixed them up and within a couple years they were married and i will tell you that he is the most understanding guy he toasts every year at a holiday table he's the one that gets up and toasts the man that loved her before he got to love her

And it sends chills in your body when you see the love that he and the respect that he had for my sister's husband that was before him. Because I have to tell you,

The husband that passed was a jealous guy. He would kill anybody that looked at my sister. And that's love. I mean, I think this is a great example too. This is love. And this guy gets up and he just says, I respect the love that you have and I love her. And

And we remember you every, every, every, and we, we, we make, we, we, we raise our glasses to you and we toast you. Yeah. And, and, and when it comes time for them to be buried, he didn't put himself right next to me because he knew the jealousy. He's actually respected to put his parents not far and that he'll be buried not far from her. There you go. But it was, it's interesting to see the respect level. Yeah. Yeah.

So I guess for our writer, please keep us posted how this goes for you. Use our update form when you tell us so we are sure to find it. And I think moral of the story for everyone out there listening, there's great people out there. Kind people, compassionate people, empathetic people, people that won't judge you for your past. They'll respect your past, honor your past. So don't settle for shitty fucking people.

Right. And treasure the ones that are good when you find them. Exactly. And your mom is a badass because she was able to. Mechanical engineer. She was able to. Electrical. Electrical engineer. Crazy. She put everything in perspective and wait for the right timing for whatever came in her life. Great. Yeah. And brought, and brought, brought wonder and beauty. Yeah. Don't, don't stuff your little feelings down. They're, they're okay. Talk about them.

Okay. Thanks. Thanks for that. Right. And I'm really glad that I got to find that one. Yeah. Okay. Let's go to the next one. Nice to meet you. Or maybe we've met before. I'm the COVID-19 virus. I use disguises to fool your immune system. My buddy, the flu virus and I make thousands of people sick every year, but updated vaccines make it a lot harder.

Don't make it easy for these viruses. Stay up to date on your COVID-19 and flu vaccinations this fall. Sponsored by Champions for Vaccine Education, Equity and Progress. CVEEP.org. Okay, so up first. Hi, Holly, Morgan, Justin and Jerry. I've, 26 female, been with my husband, 26 male, for 11 years. Married for five years.

We have one dog who is an angel. Her personality and mine match perfectly. She can be lazy when she wants, but also wants to play. We recently got another dog because my husband wanted one who matched his personality better, a dog to go hiking and fishing with. I was very on the fence about a second dog because I had a feeling I would be the one taking care of him, but he talked me into it. And who's taking care of the dog?

Now we have him and he's so full of energy and I don't really have much energy myself. We go camping and I want to lay in the trailer for a few hours and take a nap. I have to take both dogs with me because, quote, he doesn't want to deal with him right now. It's his dog. It drives me crazy. Driving me crazy. Because I have him almost all of the time and my husband almost never has him alone.

I love this dog. He's very sweet and I'd never want to get rid of him. I just want some alone time. I just wish my husband could spend time alone with the dog he wanted. He signed up for this thing. This is his deal. He signed up for it.

Get them on the line with us. Bring them on in. Any advice? Yeah. Ideal outcome for my husband to realize on weekends, he needs to spend time with the dog he wanted. Additional info. My husband is great. He is so supportive in everything else in my life. I just don't think he realized that a high energy dog was going to be a handful.

I'm working on training the dog and he has been getting better, but he is never going to be low energy. And I am. I need my high energy husband to spend time with him. This is not your dog. I've tried telling him this and he says he'll work on it and it just doesn't get better. I end up tapped with the dog and then I feel bad. I don't have more energy to give him. All right. Here's the drill.

What? You've just been waiting. You can't even hold it in. I cannot because he signed on for this. This is all his gig. And I'm sorry, you are enabling this behavior. Number one, in order to train your husband, forget training the dog, we've got to train the husband first.

And just with that, and I'm totally real with that. He's got to take the dog to training. He's got to be the one to teach this dog to be the dog that he wants. Today, we went for breakfast, right?

Yeah. Yeah. And, and a guy walks up with a dog. And my comment to myself was, he's not on a leash. We have a leash law here. Your dog has got to be on a leash. And the dog was wearing a t-shirt and that got to you saying, God, it's too, too hot outside. That dog can't be here. It's 95 degrees. This was a double coated golden retriever and he's in a t-shirt. Right.

Absolute bad dog owner. Morgan was going nuts with that. And he didn't have anything on his paws and the concrete was so hot. Okay. I was pissed. All this is going on and the guy comes into like this outside seating area on the street and the dog stops dead at the curb next to me. And I'm thinking, oh, the dog wants to hang out with me. Trying to get away from the guy. But it was not the case. That dog was so well-trained that he had that dog

knowing exactly what to do. The dog did not step off the curb until he got permission to do so. And sat there. So the point is, is that, look, your husband got obviously some kind of retrieval, treaver.

Or a Springer Spaniel. Something to go hunting and fishing with. So he got a dog that typically is pretty bright. And if they're trained, they're amazing. So this is really up to him. And you got to put the onus on this guy to say, this is your dog. You bought into it. I love you, honey. But this is your gig and you're going to follow through on it. And don't put it on me because I got enough of my own shit going on. I'm

energy. And you can tell your husband point blank, I got my own shit going on and I didn't sign up for this one. I love you, but oh well, you're going to deal with it. This is your dog, not my dog. You know what I wonder if what it is? I wonder if he got this dog

because he was kind of jealous of the relationship that she has with you know her favorite dog and i wonder if he got this dog to like oh i want a dog that loves me more not my problem and this dog though because he's not investing the time in the dog doesn't love him more the dog is drawn to her because she's the one putting in the time and then he's just even more mad so it's like you take the dog i could see it and it's like i think people need to understand

put the time in, give him a shit ton of treats. Dog's going to love you more. Just put the time in, dude. Don't keep pawing the dog off. Dogs love to be trained. They love to work with their trainer. They find their love, their allegiance. Listen, putt. Oops. Listen, buddy. Putts? I was going to say putts. What's wrong with putts? For the husband. I don't think putts is offensive. Oh. A stupid or worthless person. It was a putts. Yeah.

Listen, buddy, your dog, dad has spoke. Yeah. And I know something. Well, given your experience, I've brought home a lot of animals in my day. Yeah. And you didn't want them. Yeah. I convinced you. So this is kind of the same vibe. He really convinced her. Given that hindsight being 2020, yeah.

If she doesn't put her foot down and keeps kind of enabling him. It's going to happen. It's her dog. Yeah. This is, I'm not telling you, I mean, this is all in love and fun with the way I'm saying it, but that's the way, but it's real. It is real. This is his dog. Do not accept this. Let him know. I'm not telling you get rid of the dog. You just make sure that he realizes he's got to go.

Go find training. Even if he doesn't find the training, hand him the piece of paper. Here is Sunday training every Sunday at the park. You and Bonzo are going there and you're going to go bond, do your thing. Go fishing. In the morning, Sunday morning, first thing, or I think it's Sunday mornings, we have the doggy show that's on.

I think it is, yeah. What show? The agility course. No, it's on CBS. There is a show about training, you know, matching families and training the dogs. Oh, that one, yeah. Yeah. The only way this is going to work, he's got to recognize that this is his best friend and he's going to take this dog and really follow up with what he is. Or he himself is going to have to go get rid of the dog.

Yeah, I think you got to realize the time commitment that comes with a pet like a dog. This was not your gig. This is his gig, and I would hold him accountable 100%. Well, another idea, too, for someone that... You got another one? Well, for people that are low energy and might have a dog that they rescued from the shelter and is crazy high energy and it just doesn't mix their vibe, but they don't want to get rid of it, there are things that you can get for your dog that one...

Just like do all the work without you doing it. One is a treadmill. Those can be expensive. But two, there's this like little thing and I don't know what it's called, but you set it up in the shape of a square or a rectangle and it's this little like flag and you can you can control the speed on a remote and your dog chases it.

He's got to spend time with the dog. Yes, he absolutely should. But if he's not going to and the dog is going to get neglected. He's got to give the dog away to a home. He's got to find a home for the dog. This is his deal. Some people don't believe in that though. This is his deal. I agree, but some people don't believe in that. I'm sorry if I'm yelling. This is not her worry. He's the one that did this. Put him online with me.

Bring him forward. Let me have my way with this guy. It's very interesting because a lot of times you have the dads that are super opposed to getting whatever the pet is. And then they become the pet's literal best friend. It's literally, it's like the opposite of this. This goofball brought me Holly. I kept saying, no Holly. I did.

Oh, so this is personal. It's not my dog. Okay. I think at the end of it, it's about the, it's the, it's the commitment. You got to realize getting a pet is a commitment. It's not getting a fish, which fish are still a commitment, but there's a different level of commitment with different pets. And a dog is a big level of commitment. It is huge. Because,

Yes, you can spend the money to always have it be with other people or be at doggy daycare, but be fair and get it for the right reasons, not for some weird insecurity that you have with your girlfriend and her dog. How many times? I don't know. I'm talking. I know, but I'm just theoretically. I'm talking. No, you're not. I'm totally speculating there. How many times has the love of your life

come to me and said, dad, I'm going to foster a dog. I'm bringing home a shepherd. We're going to foster a dog or another dog. And I looked at her and said, there's no way it ain't happening. You can foster all you want, but you're not living here and doing it. You're out. These are things for me to inherit. This is all yours, you guys. Okay. Enough of you. Enough of you. Move it along.

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Hi, Jerry and Co. I firstly want to say congratulations to you for gaining a son-in-law soon. I've been obsessed with Morgan and Justin's relationship since the podcast started, and it's been amazing to watch that grow. My write-in is about my boyfriend, 27 male, and my, 26 female, relationship.

We have been dating for seven years, and I thought I was starting to get serious. He came out as bi last year, and this changed nothing for me. I'm bi myself, and we have started a bond over cute guys together. My problem lies with his best friend. Let's call him John. John is a douchebag and has always gone on my nerves. He gives the energy of one of these podcast mic guys you see on TikTok, and I've urged my boyfriend to distance himself from him.

My boyfriend is reluctant because while he thinks he can be insensitive, they've known each other since they were babies and have always said he was more like family to him.

Since my boyfriend publicly came out, John has constantly made the same weird jokes about the three of us having a threesome. At first, I thought it was weird, yes. Inappropriate, yes. But not in any way serious. But lately, he has been going into specifics. He will describe in vivid detail what our threesome would look like, and I've had to tell him several times to stop.

My boyfriend thinks it's John's way of accepting his sexuality and seems to be taking it because he feared he would be outwardly homophobic. I just think it's incredibly strange and I'm not sure what to do. I love my boyfriend so much, but him being so close to John and allowing this behavior is making me question our relationship entirely. I would love if a third party with no bias could look at this situation and tell me what they think. I love you guys loads and keep making that quality content.

Look, I may be right off base here, but I have a question. Do any of us have the thought that maybe John and the boyfriend are lovers from the past and it's just been in the closet? It's a thought. She has not been aware and that they're trying to set it up for the threesome?

Either that or John is using this as an excuse to sleep with our writer. He's always wanted to. And this is just his excuse. He's trying to kind of tokenize his friend's sexuality a little. Yeah, but the boyfriend is not saying, John, cut the shit out.

I think the boyfriend doesn't really have the strongest of spines and was so scared of losing his friend that any non-negative homophobic reaction is a positive. I totally feel like that's the case. Even though it's still negative and really derogatory towards her and disrespectful. Yeah.

towards her, I think in his eyes, it's like, well, John is like embracing me. He wants to have a threesome with me. This is positive. Right. It's not, he's not even thinking about his partner at all. He's thinking that his best friend who is like family isn't shutting the door and closing him out. My thought. No, I think her bringing that up, it makes it make a lot of sense for sure. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. This is a tough one. I,

I think this would give me pause in my relationship because bottom line is by your partner allowing John to disrespect you in this way, your partner is also kind of disrespecting you. Yeah, and you could take it out of the context of any of the sexuality. Any person out there who's in a relationship with another person, when that person has certain friends that disrespect you directly and just kind of

you know, color the whole thing in a negative way, friends, family, a lot of those external factors surrounding a relationship can greatly affect your relationship. Absolutely. And so I think bottom line, you got to have, you got to try and talk to him to see if he can have that spine and not let this guy walk kind of all over him and disrespect you.

And see if he can make a change. Because then if he can't, then we kind of know what we're signing up for long term. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Because it's not just about the sexuality. It's not about being bi. It's the disrespect. It's pretty simply just you have a friend that's not nice to me and kind of is just

Yeah. Creepy. Yeah. In fact, can even be scary. Well, and that's kind of the part I think it's getting to. I mean, him describing what he wants to do in vivid detail. Yeah.

I know. And is it like, is he laughing the whole time or is he like dead serious staring? Is he looking at his chops? Is he getting off on it? Just describing it to her? Probably. It's very uncomfortable. It's creepy. Yeah. How would you move forward? Like if your boyfriend isn't willing to stand up for you, what would you do in this case? I think you have to get to the part realizing that this is not a safe place for you and a safe person to be with.

Yeah. Your partner has to have your back. I mean, the one thing, I mean, if you guys want to, you know, involve yourself in other relationships and polyamorous, you know, lifestyles, great, but you're doing it together. And this guy is letting someone in the door of your house that is not respecting you. And his number one thing is you're, you're his mate. You're the person he's going to live his life, you know, his, this life with.

You got to make sure that it works for you and that he's got your back and he will keep you safe. Right. And there's a certain minimum of that I would expect in a relationship. Yeah. Right. If someone catcalls your partner, your partner shouldn't expect you to run up to that person, punch them in the face and make sure they never do that again. It's like, choose your battles, right? But when you have one of your friends blatantly disrespecting your partner,

That's different. That's where, yeah, that's where you make a move and you say something to be like, yo, that's not cool. Like, this is my girlfriend. Like, what are you, why are we talking about this right now? Yeah. Because you may know she may like a lifestyle. Doesn't mean she wants that lifestyle to involve you. 100%. And so it's just, you know, it crosses that line for sure. Absolutely. So you got to address it.

Mm-hmm. Not you. You have to have your boyfriend address it. Right. And then that kind of sets the stage for what we do next. Mm-hmm. Hey, I've been watching both podcasts for a while now, and I enjoy hearing the advice and what to take from it. But honestly, I wasn't sure how to even write in, but I figured it out. Anyways, I'm 23 with a five-year-old. I'm in college for my LPN, and I'm sure Morgan understands the stress that comes with that.

My issue is I'm living in a women's shelter with my baby girl and I'm exhausted. I feel like I'm going and going every day and it never stops. My heart breaks for her because she's going through the worst of it with me. Sometimes I feel like my mind is cut off and I'm not fully here. I need some advice on how to keep going and it kills me to hear it'll get better. I know that sounds awful, but it's something smacking me down.

We have until January 15th to get out of this shelter and have our own place. I have no money or a job right now because of school and my daughter also being in school. The advocates are amazing and they really do try to help me. I owe $400 at a place we used to live that will not let us come back until I have two years of renting at another place. Where I live is very small and we have no options really.

With Christmas coming up, I feel like I've let my baby down while at the same time trying to better our life. I need some kind of words and maybe some advice if you guys have any. Additional info, it's just been me and her since she was born. I've struggled before, but not like this. Mentally and physically, I feel like I'm losing it. I'm the person who picks everyone else up, and sometimes I wish someone would do the same for me. Her adopted dad, not really adopted, but had taken her in

I will start by saying this. Congratulations on getting out of the abusive relationship. Absolutely. Number one.

That is the thing that is the healthiest thing that you did for your five-year-old child. Number two, your five-year-old child eyes look at one person, you. And she is not going to judge you one way or the other at the age of five. All she's going to know is that you are her mom. You are the one that she loves and you have only proven you are the one that's always making sure she's okay. You're doing your job. That

All the other stuff is life testing us. And it happens. And yeah, you're going through a tough test right now. And you have found the amazing help with your advocates to solve some of your issues. I've never had to go to the part where I had to have advocates that helped me. I've had family that has helped me.

which is in some ways maybe the same way. But I think to me, going to my family to help me and that they were there to help me was fantastic. You have found resources that the average person would give up. You have nothing but to be proud of what you're pulling off, how you're working to figure it out to get through the situation. You got pregnant at the age of 16 and a half or 17 to have a five-year-old.

Oh, 17. My math, yeah. Yeah, somewhere in there. And she had nine months of pregnancy. So this was a decision and a choice that you stuck out and bless your heart, you have really done well.

So have no reason to be down on yourself. I'm impressed on the kind of person that you are in resolve. You know, Morgan's mom had her young and I will tell you that she had her, her brother Matthew when she was young. And I will tell you that the one thing that woman has always done is make sure she took care of her kids. And up to today, she's still there. She is an amazing person for the resolve that she has had for her kids.

And that's all that she's ever been about is her kids. And that's the kind of woman that you are. So Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and stick with it. You're making choices. You have a final coming up this month or next week. That tells me that you're making decisions and choices and direction to get somewhere. You're not just sitting around floating. Again, I am very impressed and you're on the right track. It sounds like you're doing all of the right things.

at least from people I've known that have really struggled in certain times. It is interesting how something will come up almost right when you need it. It's weird. It's weird how right at the moment when you think it's all going to be done or you're not going to be able to find a place or something goes really south, it feels like something steps in. I don't know where it comes from or what it is, but I hope it happens for you.

I just think, like Jerry said, you just got to keep doing exactly what you're doing. I can't imagine what toll it takes or how much strength that takes to keep going. But I know for you and for the sake of your daughter, if you just keep going, that's the best thing you can do. I think as soon as you, because your biggest concern is, you know, you don't want to let her down.

I think the best way to not do that, as hard as it is, is just keep doing what you're doing because you're making all the right steps. Do you see this leaf? Do you see this branch? The world, the universe, God, call it whatever you want, keeps doing this to us, keeps pulling us back a little bit more every day. And you're thinking at this point, I have been pulled back to where I'm going to break. And then the universe looks at us and God or whoever it is looks at us and says, yeah, you got a little bit more.

And it makes us stronger. It makes us resolute that we're going to get through it. And you are correct because there are times where I've always thought that I'm done and I don't know how I'm going to get to the next day. And all of a sudden something pops and it happens and magic. Morgan might've been on a path for her with her doctorate, still struggling.

She had bills. She had this. She had that. And COVID. And COVID. And the next thing I know is we're doing TikToks and falling on the floor, having fun and playing beer pong. And all of a sudden, between you and her and then working out to take that little extra effort, and it popped and it turned to magic. Yeah.

I'm sitting here, not because I planned this out. Something happened. Yeah. You, you said, let's do it. And next, you know, so go with your,

Keep going with your direction and don't despair. Don't give up. Just keep doing what you're doing. Find the ways to do what you need to do. And don't give up on finding the ways because it's succeeding. And you will finally get to the part with your education when you're done doing whatever you're doing in school, that something magic will happen for you. It will. Yeah. You'll never know. You just, you just don't know when, but it's going to happen.

And that's not to say it's not going to fucking suck right now. I mean, you are under the weight of the world. And I think, like you said, your daughter is just happy to be out of that home. I mean, kids are so intuitive and you made the right call getting out. The reason he's treating you the way he is is because he's lost his control, his power. He's trying to get it back. He's going to continue to belittle you until you...

feel that that's your only olive branch, your only path you can take. And it's not. No, he's out of here. He's done. And luckily the adoption papers were never signed. You know, your little one's five and this is a blessing getting out of this, this bad situation. So,

It is going to be a grind, but LPNs are in a big demand. They are very needed. You're going to make some good money after you get done with school. It's, you know, the light is at the end of the tunnel and it's going to be brutal until you get there. But there's, you know, amazing resources and you have a good advocate right now. So, yeah.

There's hope. It's going to get better. And it might not feel like it. It never does. It fucking sucks when you're in that pit of despair. But it does get better. I would also say for the holidays, if you want to look into... I know Walmart does angel trees. And those are going so viral right now on TikTok that I think there's been a huge influx of people going to Walmart and clearing out the angel trees online.

So maybe check out your local Walmart and see if you can get on that. Essentially, you have your little one create like a little list of things they want. Someone goes and like picks the list and goes and does the shopping. And so there's things like that. I know Salvation Army does big toy drives. So just make sure you're applying to get her on those lists for things because as long as your kid is safe, fed with you, she's going to be happy. But if you can provide a little extra,

I cried when I read this one the first time. Well, when Justin read it to me and I'm like, I kept it together so well. I'm so proud of myself. But you're doing amazing. And the best, best thing is that you are safe and healthy. And you're going to get through this. It's going to get better. But you made the right call. And the struggle will be worth it in the end. I have one sentence. Keep the faith. Keep the faith, sweetie. It's going to work out.

Period. Also, if there's any listeners out there that can relate to our writer and have gone through this struggle as a single mom and maybe been in a shelter, please, please, please go to the comments and help this listener out because I think that boost from you guys would mean so much. And some of you have had experience in this where we have not. Exactly. That's where the community comes in. Justin's favorite part. Yep.

Okay, moving along. Keep us posted. Please update us if you can update us before next week. That would be even more amazing because we're recording our 100 episode and I know people would love to hear how things are going for you. Okay, moving along. My brother stole 100K from my company and I don't know what to do. My brother, 33 male, came to work for my 32 female company at the beginning of 2020. He was a

He had just quit his corporate job because he was burnt out and asked to be a salesman for my company. My company is located in Dallas, Texas, and he lives four hours away, still in Texas. So we decided to open a branch of our company at his location, and he could sell our services down there. Our agreement was to split the profit 50-50, as my husband would drive to his location multiple times each year to train him and monitor the services.

We did this without any hiccups for two years, 2020 and 2021, and we both made good money. Now jump to December 2021. My brother told us that he wanted to become a partner and profit off both locations. We told him we would not share our main location, but we were open to talking about partnering for his location.

We then agreed to table the conversation until after the holidays. Come January, his wife was pregnant and had a difficult pregnancy, which led her to deliver early. My brother was going through a lot, taking care of his wife, newborn, and learning how to be a dad. So we gave him time to figure out his new life.

A few months passed and he never mentioned business or partnering, so I just left it alone, as I know his life was a little hectic. Then in May 2022, I was having issues with our emails and had to log into everyone's emails to make sure every email account on my server was working.

That's where I found that my brother had been selling jobs under my company's name all of 2022. He sold and warrantied $120,000 worth of work. I was livid. I confronted him and he acted like it wasn't a big deal and he was, quote, going to bring it up but couldn't find the time. Note, we text weekly.

He doesn't think he owes us any money because he, quote, did all of the work. But I disagree. Everything he did was under our company. I told him the only way to possibly allow me to get over his betrayal was to at the very least pay us our portion, roughly 30K. As of now, he has paid nothing. And this incident has destroyed our family. My family wants me to just leave it alone to keep the peace, but I can't.

I have contacted a lawyer who says legally all of the profit is mine and I have a strong case if I want to pursue a lawsuit. But if I sue my brother, I know it will put a huge rift in our family. I don't know what to do. I don't think my relationship with my brother will ever be fixed. I can't fully forgive him for his actions, but I could at least recoup the money he stole from me. But it will possibly split my family apart.

I've talked to my family about it, but their opinions are biased.

I'd like some fatherly advice on what I should do. Thank you. Wow. Now, it took everything that I had to shut up as you were reading this. Not interrupt me? It took a lot of discipline. Is this one triggering for you? No, no, not at all. Okay. No, no. This isn't triggering. What's triggering me is that there's criminal act here. First of all, he went and sold jobs under the company name. Where did the check go to?

Was the check going into the company and how did he get it out of the company? So this is one thing that's bugging me. He knowingly sells the job under the company invoice. They write a check to him.

Where do the, there's questions I don't get. I'm sure because he opened his own base in that area. He's usually handing sums, handling sums of money. He probably has a company bank account with his name on it. So he has that freedom. I think our writer here probably trusted their brother and wasn't monitoring their bank account. There is fraud going. This is pure fraud. This is, this is everything with the intent.

to, you know, fraud is doing something with the intent of doing something wrong. That's not ethical. You know, this falls, this is purely intent. So she, he's done a criminal act. My answer is, if you want to keep, you want to keep the family peace, you literally fire him, forget the money. That's the best deal, the best deal you can give him.

is, I'm not going to worry about the money, but you're out of here. I can't trust you. He can't be trusted. He has totally said by his action, I'm going to steal from you. Yeah. You know what I think the best solution would be? I'd love to hear your idea. Obviously, she has a case and you're stuck in this place of, do I do what's right and get my money back? Or with that action, I tear apart my family. I think you can have the best of everything. You'd only get about 30K.

The best case scenario you could do here is have a lawyer draft a non-compete so your brother cannot start his own company in that area for X number of years. And you'll say, hey, you know what? You fucked me over. You stole from me. As long as you sign this non-compete that you can't work in the same industry and sell the same product we've been selling in this area.

of 500 miles radius, whatever it is, I'll forget about what you did and stole. You won't go to jail. You won't do jail time. You don't have to pay me back, but you're not going to steal my business. Well, and I got one more for you. They said,

We want to be, we're going to give him a partnership in that location. You had a partnership in that location. You already given him 50% of the- 50-50. So what, I mean, what's a partnership in anybody else's mind? He wants a stake in all of the company. We know what he wanted. But he's not, he's not adding to that other area. So it was-

Crazy from the get. You're right. But you're getting away from where I was going. They were discussing a partnership just on that one thing. They had the partnership. He got 50% of whatever that deal did. It was done. He cannot be trusted. He tripped on his D and she can either go file a claim of fraud against him and theft and go after him criminally, where that would be on his record. Or she can say, keep what you got.

and sign this, you're non-compete, and you go on your merry life. You want to go to a different town and start a different business and a different thing. But this town was mine. I got you. You worked it. But you were compensated for that. And now you took more compensation for this. So this is it. You're going to jail or something. You're going to have to go deal with this battle or take the money

Go somewhere else, start a new business and good luck to you. You may have learned this business and I, but you're out of here. Well, that's the other aspect of it. It's like, oh, if he tries to argue, I did all this work, you know, I, I made you so much money, but it's like, these are skills you wouldn't have had without us. My husband drove down and taught you how to do all of this. You got paid for it. You got paid 50% of the profits. It's big. It's big.

You know, it's really big. We own the business. You got paid for it. You were compensated. You have no argument. Yeah. I'm done with this. So my answer is do whatever you need to do to get your leverage in place. Go to him and present to him the real hard fact. You stole from me. I can't trust you. Good luck in wherever town you go to go start your own business under your own name, under your own thing and go. Good luck to you. And I just don't want, I have to cut my exposure to you because you are dangerous to me. Yeah. Yeah.

I find it very interesting that within families, there are certain members of those families that are ultra protected by everybody. And I think it's really annoying because now everyone's saying to her that

you're going to tear our family apart. That is very true. Is it really me? They're manipulating. And the reality is she's not doing it. He did it. Right. Absolutely. He's the one that put himself in this position and he's having everyone try to fight his battle. Fuck that. I would go to court. I'd get the money back. I'd fire him because it's not on you. That's right. It's.

It's on him. It absolutely is on him. The family's not being torn apart by you. No. This is not your decision. And I hate how if everyone else in the family is looking at you and saying, if you do this, what did you do? I think it's so stupid how certain members and families are so heavily protected no matter what they do. And then all the blame goes to other people. It's interesting you bring that up because in additional info,

They go, my brother was the golden child. He was a rule follower, good grades, good with money, and literally did life by the book. A lot of people, especially family, can't believe that he did this and think I'm exaggerating. Did life by the book until now. Integrity. This is all about integrity. Release the receipts.

Send a family email documenting. Here is the jobs he did. Here is all of what he stole. I mean, maybe give him the chance to pay or then say otherwise. He's not doing it. Well, then go to court. It's time. But I think there's more. If you look at the long game, like let's play the long game here. She's going to get 30K in court or she could have him sign a non-compete. Take over that area with someone she can trust. He's going to go to jail. He's going to go to jail. Otherwise,

It's either jail time. He's not going to sign it. Well, here's his options. Jail time and paying me back. Fraud. Because fraud. Or I'll let you off the hook by signing a non-compete. Do you really want to leave your wife and newborn baby at home alone while you're in prison? I don't think so, sweetie.

Sign the thing. And then you get the long game of that area for X number of years and you make even more money than the 30K you would have got. And by the way, the 30K to me is nothing because let me tell you what it costs to go file a suit. And not only does she have to file the suit, he has to file the suit now to go defend himself.

The best deal for this guy is we're going to wash the money. I'm going to sign the non-compete for this area. And I'm going to go do something somewhere else. Yeah. And he's being let off. This is like getting pulled over for a speeding ticket and being let off with a warning. This is the best thing for him. It really is. And the fact that- I'm not worried about him. And the fact that he takes- It's the best thing for her too. Right. That's what matters. It's the best thing for our writer. And by the way, the fact that he takes this deal

It eliminates everybody else. And he puts in that agreement that he can't bring this up to anybody else. This is a sealed agreement. Yeah. We're done. So the answer is, is this, this is the play. This is not a rock and a hard place to me. This is, this is the only answer.

And go on and let that, let this take him down a different road. Yes. It will affect his life. He made that choice. Yes. The moment he took money with the idea and the intent, not, not to surrender it to the business. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting too. He says, I was going to bring it up, but couldn't find the time. No, you just wanted the money.

And he warrantied these jobs under the company. So if anything did go wrong with him, he did shitty work because it was under the table. He was trying to get them done fast. Then she's out that money as well. She didn't make any profits. And now

to maintain the image of her company, she's out that money that it's going to cost to warranty those items. I will say one thing. We don't know the mechanics, how he did this. So take that, take that, you know, into consideration. We're giving our advice, thinking more of the, imagine how he did do it. We don't know really the mechanics that he pulled this off, but I will say it's not, nothing here was done with integrity, period. No. Okay. Okay.

Well, I guess we tore this one apart. I know. This one got us a little heated. Okay. Moving along. Yes, ma'am.

Hi, Jerry, Justin, Morgan, and Holly. I'm a first-year graduate student in a speech-language pathology program. I joined a couple of Facebook groups with other SLPs in my area, and I'm feeling really discouraged. A lot of the people are complaining about low salaries, high caseloads, and feeling burnt out from this career. I've wanted to be an SLP and worked really hard after changing career paths to get to where I am.

I'm in an online program and take classes part-time while working. But honestly, I feel exhausted doing this, and I'm really questioning, is it worth it? The thing is, I don't know what I would do otherwise. My fiancé, let's call him Dan, recently lost his job, and it's been a stressful time trying to support him while he navigates a career change because he wasn't feeling fulfilled.

I guess what I would like advice on is should I go through grad school and have speech as a backup option or should I pick a new career completely? Ideal outcome, we both feel fulfilled in our careers and get out of debt. Additional info, my fiance went to college but dropped out his final year and didn't get a degree. He's recently been vocal about regretting that decision but doesn't want to go back to school.

I go back to saying, make sure what you're doing, you're doing it because it's a passion for you and you feel the, the reward, not of the money, but of the experience.

The money will always come. If you, if you master what you're doing and you love what you're doing, you're going to be really great at what you're doing. And people are going to notice that. And that's going to help drive your income. It may not be there in the beginning, but it will eventually, I do believe we'll always get there. So,

And even if you're, you get into a fixed area where your incomes are locked, if you love what you're doing, it's not going to really still even matter. You'll learn to live, you'll learn to live within that budget, or you'll find some other ways of, of doing additional work or the guy you're, you know, your boyfriend will, will, will flourish in what he's doing. You guys will make it, you'll build a life, but never do a job because of the money. Do a job because you'll love it.

Yeah, and I will just say, as someone that has joined many, many OT Facebook groups and, like, alternative careers for OTs, I feel like I'm really glad I didn't start looking at those Facebook page until I was, like, done with OT school. Because it probably would have really fucked me up mentally, too. Because...

You know, you have a lot of people on there kind of saying what I said about the lawyer stuff where they're like, the golden age of rehab is gone, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you're going to find that. But I think you have to ask yourself, why did you want to be a speech pathologist, speech language pathologist? Like,

Because you wanted to help people. Because it's rewarding. You know, you got to ask yourself the why. And you're already a year in. If it's a master's, you have another year left. Granted, you wouldn't take on another year of debt. But I look at the speech...

therapists that I worked with at the hospitals, and they loved their jobs. If you want a really good area of SLP work, you go work in an acute care setting in a hospital. You're going to be doing stroke, swallow evals all day, every day. It's fun. You get there at eight. You leave at 435. You don't take any work home with you.

And if you want to just do it lightly, you go work per diem, but that's if you determine you want to be a speech pathologist. But don't let the Facebook groups scare you because, yeah, there's low salaries, but there's high salaries in certain areas. And if you work somewhere for a year and then you're willing to do travel speech, you can make a boatload of money there.

And looking at how the health care system is going to change, we already don't have enough workers to replace what we need. So the demand for health care workers is going to shoot through the roof. Like it's it's going to be.

pretty drastic. So... And you also have to look at, I mean, there are so many different areas in speech pathology and therapy. There's so many. I mean, you could work in pediatrics, working with kids with stutters or, you know, autism and finding alternative communication methods via like technology. There's so much to do. My...

My favorite is acute care. I think the swallow studies with barium are the most interesting thing. And like watching all the mechanics of someone swallowing on an x-ray, insane. I really, if I could suction trachs, I would have gone the speech route, but suctioning trachs, I couldn't do it. So that's, it made me throw up. So it's a really cool career though. And I think. So the one thing that you said that I really grasped

And I really absolutely agree with you on don't let everyone else drive what you're doing. No. If you wanted to be a speech pathologist because you loved it, do it. Pay no attention to the crowd. Well, and they even say here, I'm really questioning if it is worth it. The thing is, I don't know what I would do otherwise.

Well, that's now she's settling. Well, it's like, but are you settling or was your heart set on this? And now because you're an overthinker, maybe you're letting all these other people psych you out. Is it wouldn't or couldn't? Because I say I couldn't do anything else, even though I'm in a very unpredictable, vital, like,

I'm in an industry that most people would tell you never to get in, but I couldn't do anything else. Because this was your passion. So it's not that there wouldn't be anything else for me. It's that, no, I just, I couldn't go change and do something else. Yeah. So when you find that, that's when you know, like, this is what I'm here for. And I have done, you know, job pivots. Very much so.

I mean, from what I originally started doing to what I do today, there's a pivot or two. I think it's like... But you can connect them all. They all fit in the same little bubble. I guess. But like, they're all you being creative. They're all you...

Like you're running the show. You can make the big decisions and control where to take it. And you're not answering to anybody. And I think you've always been in a similar world. Though what you take and do with your creativity has changed over time. Because I think we all think of the classic American dream. And of course you're going to have the people that like, I have to get a Ferrari. I have to have a house with 20 bedrooms in it. And I need like a hundred million in the bank. And that's American dream.

But really, I think if you figure out what you want and love to do and you can live comfortably doing that, I think that's the American dream because you'll be so fulfilled by what you do. Also, not struggling financially, you live a comfortable life. If you can marry those two and figure that out, that's the American dream. I agree.

Yeah. Did you know the number one place to achieve the American dream is now in Denmark? Yeah. Really? Do they call it the Denmark dream? No, they still call it the American dream. But yeah, it is. It is really interesting. I, I would determine is speech your passion. And if it is, don't let the Facebook groups get you down. Also, I will say as someone that did their grad program in person, um,

I cannot imagine the challenge of doing a program like this online. So if that is also getting to you, like try meeting up with classmates and get yourself a good study group and other people to interact with. But yeah,

You should start doing like your internships at various places. That's what I was going to say. Really aim for acute care if you can. I would do acute care and PEDS. I think you'll get the most broad experience and overview on the career. And then watch the movie, The King's Speech. Yeah. Yeah, that one. That one was a good one. But yeah, determine if you're going into it for the right reason. And then if not...

Screw the debt. Screw the student debt. Don't do it. Nothing's better than personal reward from a job. It's amazing. Okay. We're going to have number five. We're going to squeeze one more in here. There's one more. Number five. Number five. Hi, Jerry. Hello. I've been dating a man since October 2021.

At the very beginning stages of us talking, he was diagnosed with gastrointestinal lymphoma. We tried very hard to make it work and have seen each other when we could, but through treatments and everything else, he has moved home to live with his parents. Good news. What we do know is he will get better. Good.

Bad news. We've worked so hard to try and make us work, but it just seems like it's getting harder and harder. He's not able to show up for me like he wants to. I know that's difficult for him, and obviously doesn't always feel fair to me. Because of this, we've decided to call a timeout on us, and it's quite possibly the worst heartbreak I've had in my life."

People always say if it's the wrong time, it's the wrong person. But what do you do when it's this circumstance? We both so badly want to be together, but life is just not lining up. We still talk and are trying to figure out boundaries that are safe for both of us. I want to leave the door open, but I also know I can't wait on him forever. Do I stop talking to him altogether? Well, it sounds like you guys are friends. You care for one another.

Cutting yourselves off from your friendship. You know, I don't know, you know, your guys are going to have to decide if you can, you know, conduct yourselves and enjoy your friendships and not worry about the intimacy side or if that if you guys date somebody else.

you may find out very quickly that the thought of being with somebody else is not your interest. And you get there and you say, this guy is just not this person, and I don't care if I'm married to this person or not, but I definitely want to have this person be a part of his life every day, and that's where I'm at today. So I say, go organically. I mean, everyone hates when I say that. Yeah.

don't penalize yourselves. If you guys can, can respect each other as friends and you can have your friendship, I don't know why you can't. It might take some readjustment. I mean, especially if you are going to actively date, it might take a period where you guys can kind of heal a little bit and just not talk to each other as much. But you know, it sounds like you guys really do love one another and yet, and you have a, a strong bond.

So that's something that only you can figure out. I can't tell you that one. Yeah, it's tough because when in a relationship, do you transition from life being able to take you apart with certain circumstance? Or at our stage, even pre-being engaged, I would say we had transitioned into the part of life where

one of us would change for the other in a good way. Like something, some health thing or life is where life would pull you apart. I feel like we would stay together and move together with whatever happened. Because you were bonded. Right, right. But so, you know, at what point in relationship does that happen? Because this seems to be happening before that. And so when you're before that transition,

How do you make these calls? Because there's nothing here being like... There's no clear like, yep, probably time to break up. Or I would fight through it and stay together. So is it kind of like a, let's keep seeing how it goes? Or is there a way... You know, it's... Yeah, what's interesting too, it's like if... You know, because they dated a decent amount of time. So it's like if they would have been married, would this have caused them to get divorced? Like, you know, we have...

Life happens. We're going to get sick. We're going to lose family members. Things are going to happen where we might, as we've put it, you might have a season where you need more support and the other person falls to the side a little bit. That's just life. That's kind of how this stuff happens. So if you guys would have been married, would you have not been able to help? And this would have teared you apart in that way. It is interesting to me because...

When you think about a partner and, you know, not everyone takes those vows and says the same thing, but it is kind of like in sickness and in health. Like, can you handle the lows? Well, because that's what a long-term relationship is either way. Or is she looking for a reason to get out?

It doesn't sound like it, though. It sounds like she's trying to find a reason, like a way to make it work. No one's forcing her to walk away. Ideal outcome, we find a way to be together at some point, if not now. I guess I'm just kind of confused, like why they broke up. And I know there's one line here where, you know, she says...

He couldn't show up for me the way I needed. Right. Well, one, what were you asking of him? And two, he's fighting gastrointestinal cancer like cancer fucking sucks. So, no, he might not be able to show up for you right now. It might be the season where he needs the time, more energy and love. Yeah.

And like, did you then like that? You couldn't recognize that? Like, I guess I'm just kind of confused why it went so south. Yeah. Because health is number one. Yeah. If you have a health problem, if you don't take care of your health problem, your relationships and everything else doesn't matter. Well, yeah, because you're dead. I'm looking at how deep this relationship really is. How deep is the relationship? Yeah. Because if it's a shallow in relationship and you're in the shallow in right now because he may need you.

and it's not something that you really want to do, then it's time to really allow it to go its separate way and move on. Look, relationships are timing for many reasons, but this could also be the most amazing relationship, even if he should not make it in future years. It may be the most important relationship or

impact of relationship of your life. There might be a message here or something very special here that you're supposed to experience. Otherwise, maybe you've experienced it already and it's time to move on. We can't make that decision for you. No. Only you can. Yeah.

I guess like I for me, I'm like, I just I need to know a little more. But for sure. Otherwise, it's like, yeah, I mean, this is the reality you're faced with right now. You kind of have to ask yourself, like, if this is the level of attention and effort I'm getting put into me, like, am I OK with it? And if you're not like, yeah, you can be friends. But I wouldn't blur any lines. I would say you're there if you need to talk. But it might be best to limit yourself.

move on with your life. I need to move on with my life, but if you need me, I'm here for you. I care for you greatly. Yeah. It could be like he isn't doing enough

And she does a ton for him. And there's something he could have easily made that had nothing to do with his health. But, you know, he chose to not call and say, like, check in, or he chose to not do this. And he's pulling away. It may not have to do with the health thing. That could have started it. But we just don't know these little intricate details that would make this answer so much easier. He could also be pushing her away because of the fact that he's sick. Tough to respond to without...

Yeah. Okay.

I, 23 female, just graduated undergrad and I'm going into grad school in the fall. My partner, 25 male, just graduated grad school. We got married earlier this year. We have been dating since I was 18 and it was sooner than we would have planned, but due to some extenuating circumstances, we decided to get married earlier than we planned. Note, we were planning on getting married after I graduate grad school, so it's only about a year earlier. I, 23 female, just graduated undergrad and I'm going into grad school in the fall.

The last two months of his final semester in school were very busy. He barely had time to talk on the phone or text, and he couldn't come up for my birthday. This frustrated me because it was my golden birthday. During those two months, he made new friends. His closest friends were a grade below him. Since he has graduated, though, he said he doesn't know if he has feelings for me anymore, but needs to process it more.

However, he is currently on a trip across the country, staying at one of his friends' house. The thing is, he is constantly texting that friend when we are together, and now he is barely texting me now that he's on a trip with them. I'm trying to let him enjoy his trip, but our dog just had surgery, so there are some important things I need to talk about.

We had a heart-to-heart the other night, and he says he wants to try and figure out his feelings for me, but he also said that he enjoyed hanging out with his friends more than he does with me.

Things sometimes change. People grow. They don't grow together.

And the thing that you have to do is realize it and recognize it and do the appropriate thing for your, for you going forward and to make sure that you have a, your fulfilled life. So it is sounding like it's on the, it's on the decline that it's time to move on. And look, you can move on and he may have a, one of those moments that he says, Oh my God, look what I did. And then you can make that decision and,

where you are at that time, if you're over it or you want to give it a shot. But in the event that it doesn't, at least you've moved forward and you've opened that door. He's not asking you to keep the door closed for him. He's really inviting you to open it.

It seems that way. This person's ideal outcome is staying together. I see that. And so it's hard. I mean, they're married. They're not just dating. I mean, they got married. So they were making that commitment to each other. So this kind of turnaround from him, I mean, if I were this person in this, I would feel like I just got whiplash. This is a very quick change.

flip of a switch by the sounds of it. You know, but some people say you have to just stay married and grin and bear it until you can't bear it anymore. It might just be time just to call it what it is and move on and take it with the less pain and not waste this time that you'll be wasting.

to spend with someone who really wants to be with you rather than somebody who'd just rather be with us with, with these other people. Yeah. So I, I think that you're going to have to follow, you know, follow your own gut in this one to really know where it is and what to do about it. And if you say, look, you know, let's, we realize we shouldn't be together anymore and I, you know, let's make an easy divorce.

let's see what his reaction is. When you bring up that word, he might just say, sure, great, let's do it. Otherwise he may say, what are you talking about? Right. So don't be afraid of the word. I think being proactive with the word might work better in this circumstance. Would you consider that a little manipulative though? No.

It's not a threat. No, I think that you're going with the full intention of saying... Yeah. Well, and I think I just want to make sure our listener gets, divorce is not a threat. No. You can't use it as a threat. You have to mean that and just say, I'm willing to get divorced. We're not happy. You're not happy. I'm not happy. But in all reality, it might bring out the truest truth. Yeah.

It will make everyone actually reveal their hand. And you'll see everyone's cards for real when you actually start to go down that route. So yes, you're not using it as a threat, but it almost operates as a threat because it will force him to show his cards. And this is actually like my biggest fear. I think I've said that on this show before is

someone just falling out of love with you because you can't do anything about it. You can't be mad at anybody. You can't control it. Like there's no, it just happens to you. You instantly end up in your worst nightmare just cause and there's nothing you can do about it. You can't be pissed. You can't be like, you know, you cheated on me. You did all this and you took this down. Literally it's just done and you have no control over it. And that's the scariest part for me about being in a relationship. Mm-hmm.

By far. Yeah. When do you know it's worth giving a second chance? I mean, Lucy kind of put this theme as like giving people in your life a second chance and second time around. Do you think, you know, if she wanted to give this a second chance, it would be smart to go in the other room, have separate rooms and maybe go back to like the first steps of like, let's see if we like each other. Let's try, you know, dating again, even though we're married.

you know, you can date. You should, if you're married, you should always be dating your partner. But let me ask you a question. When she goes to him and says, look, this is what's going on. Do we need to do this? I mean, this is what I'd like to do. And do you have anything to say? Do you have anything to offer this conversation before we do it? That's his opportunity to say, you know something, I would like to try something along this line. If he doesn't speak up,

What is she dicking around for? It's really... Well, yeah. And I think a living situation is a consideration. She can't live on her own. They do have a two bedroom. So it might... You fade out. You might... Yeah. It might be good to split up. You each get your own room. Go back to just being friends and maybe ask to see other people. And if that is preferred after you guys start seeing other people...

You realize your marriage isn't going to work. I was seeing Carla. When we decided to move in, I said, look, there's no guarantee on anything where we're going to go. But I'm willing to try to see where it is. I'm letting you know, I do not want a roommate should we not work out.

This is, these are the rules we have to kind of go into. And we, we did try a relationship and it did not work out for us to be a couple. And she says, are you just, you're going to throw me the street? And I said, of course not. I mean, I, I was very clear in the beginning, but I understand where you're at. I want you to, to go to another room and let's see, you know, get yourself on, you know, where you can get to the part of moving that. I don't want to have a permanent thing here.

but see, you know, how it works out for you. And within about six months, you know, she had met somebody else. She dated quite a few people until she met somebody else. I was totally, you

you know, understanding as a friend that she is dating, she's going to be intimate with somebody else. I even said you could be intimate with him in the house. I don't care. This is your room. This is your door. And I think these two could get to that by the sounds of it. Maybe. And it worked. So yeah. And that works. It could be healthy if done very adult, you communicate very open up front. And I think that

And unfortunately, like the ideal outcome is staying together, but that might be the best first step is to, you know, take some time apart. It will bring change one way or the other. The change of you getting close again and getting to the part where you won't want to have a marriage or to where you guys are friends and realize that we're not really the couple that we thought we were going to be ultimately. And, but get, but with no hostility.

Because no one lied here. There's no, the problem when people get hostile is because there's deceit or insecurity. If you're totally open and totally direct about everything, you kind of get rid of that, you kind of get rid of that pin. No lying that we know of. There's three things sticking out. He missed a very big birthday. Right, he could be lying. He said he is questioning his feelings. Mm-hmm.

He texts this other person all the time and now he's staying with them for a long period of time and won't text her. He's showing all the signs that he's just too scared to end it and hoping she does over all these things he's doing. He is being weak. Yeah. I mean, when you read through the lines, it feels like these are all signs. Like he's trying to not have to be the one to pull the trigger. Yeah. Which is what a lot of guys do, unfortunately. Yeah. Yeah.

Keep us posted. We wish you the best. It's going to be tough. I mean, they've been together since our writer was 18. And that I think is hard. Moving on from your first big loves is hard, but it gets better. And what's really interesting, I remember having a lot of these same things with my first love. I had a discussion with you about this the other day. Yeah. I did. And I said, you know, I wish it was, a lot of it's timing.

I said, at the end of the day, would I have been happy ultimately with a life with her? I believe I would have been. I would have loved to have had that life because I think we were really suited all the way, you know, except for my immaturity of being 24 and wanting to go explore the world and have sex with the world. And that would, the relationship never would have survived it. She probably wanted to have sex with the world too.

And in some modes, we did. I mean, we certainly had alternative partners, but I wanted to just go. Yeah. Sow your wild oats, as they say. Yeah, it was weird. But as I got older and I realized that we are friends and we have a connection and there were certain things that were there.

So I definitely later on in life questioned it. Did I make the mistake or not? And what would have been, but you just can't live that way though. You don't know. And with that, I do think like there are some people that do come back together, you know, they find each other again. Yeah. I look at my brother and his wife and they broke up and we're done for a long time. And, you know, they came back together. And I think in order for someone to,

To find you and come back to you though, you need to start respecting yourself and knowing what you deserve. And I think you deserve better than what you're getting right now. And I think that goes for a lot of people out there where they might be holding out hope for their partner to change and become better for them because they love them. But you're accepting a level that you don't need to. And maybe if you respect yourself more and your time more,

the right person will come along or that person's going to realize they can't keep walking all over you. Sometimes walking away is the best thing you can do. Well, just think how refreshing it would be to all of a sudden have someone that's just obsessed with you. And you're like, oh my God, why did I hold out so long? Why was I holding myself back from this? Yeah. That is like quite the reality check is like, I look at my past relationships and I'm like,

Honestly, compared to now, I don't think those people even liked me. Compared to how Justin is just obsessed, loves me so much, makes me feel so good, comes to my rescue whenever I need it. Like,

that level of love and respect is something I've never had. And you look and like in hindsight, you're like, wow, why did I put myself through that? So it's all perspective and context. And also that's why it's so good to have a lot of these experiences before you find your person instead of, you know, some people do find them right away like this and it works out.

And then you just had it on the first try. But going into further relationships, like if you go into ones after this, you'll now have the context of this. You'll be able to pick up on red flags really quick. The more you date, the more you start to find like, oh, I didn't even know this existed, but I like this. This is what I really wanted.

It's kind of like when you are scrolling on your phone and things pop up that you would have never thought to buy ever, ever. And then all of a sudden you're buying them. It creates a need. Yeah. It'll all work out though. One thing I have learned so far in life is that everything does work out. It does. So just trust your gut and follow your path and protect your heart and know your worth and it'll all work out. I agree. Okay.

Hi, Morgan, Justin, Holly, and of course, Jay! Dad. And happy autumnal equinox. I've been a longtime listener and a lover of both this podcast and Morgan's Two Hot Takes. When I heard you were looking for spooky stories to read on the podcast, I had to become a patron so you would see my story. Okay. It's a bit of a doozy, and in my opinion, what you might find in the movies minus the dramatic ending.

I have to preface this as it's not a story that has much of a conflict, and unfortunately, I cannot do anything about what happened or what we found. But I would love to know your thoughts. All names on this story are aliases, so frill... All names have been changed to protect the innocent. Exactly.

On to the story. This all happened when I, 22 female, and my two best friends, Ann, 22, and Margaret, 21 female, were all staying at Margaret's grandmother's house to watch her dog and house sit while she was out. This was around the beginning of fall. As typical young adults, we love to have a good time with alcoholic drinks, some good snacks, and our favorite movies. She could be a friend of yours. And of course, witchcraft.

She will not be a friend of mine. We're all itching to stay overnight here alone since Margaret's grandfather, John, died in the exact chair that resided in the living room a few years back.

Margaret has had a hunch that her grandfather hadn't passed on since she felt his presence frequently there, especially when you sit in that chair. A little optional backstory. Back in those days, the three of us would participate in practicing Wicca, having several Ouija sessions and collecting crystals for their various property. We even went as far as recording our Ouija sessions and evaluating them after.

We always made all the spiritual precautions to protect us from the negative spirits and burned our boards after every session. Yes, we made our own boards out of pen and paper. Don't ever get the fancy store-bought ones since they are hard to dispose of if you plan to use it to communicate with spirits.

Disclaimer, I would never recommend participating in any Ouija sessions if you don't know the basics in protective spells and precautionary actions before and after asking them questions. They are no joke and you could potentially cause yourself or people close by harm.

Trust me, you are safe or I am safe of this because I will not go near a Ouija. Yeah, she goes on to say, Morgan, you are right to not fuck with them. There's not a chance. I stay far away from this shit. Once the witching hour struck and the night was quiet, we started our Ouija session, albeit a bit tipsy, but still with our wits about us.

Sitting by the very chair where Margaret's grandfather had passed, we asked to speak with him. At first, nothing really happened, and we encouraged John to use the energy sources we put out around us, mostly water and crystals. Eventually, the planchette moved to the yes position. After about the fourth or fifth time we asked, are you with us?

Exhilarated, we asked the following questions. What is your name? How old were you when you died? What is your birthday? Where did you graduate college? Who was your wife? And more.

The basics. It's important to ask number-based questions and ask specifics that yield short but accurate answers. There are common red flags if you are dealing with a negative spirit or demon, where the answers would be scattered and nonsensical, where the vibe would be off and they say zero for their age. These are all signs to terminate immediately.

We did not get this feeling, as the spirit we were speaking to answered with intelligence and poise, and Margaret stated it was the same feeling she got when she sensed him before. Prior to starting our session, we had gone around the house to do some research on her grandfather John. We knew the answers to our questions exactly, and when asked, the spirit spelled them out nearly verbatim.

We asked John Spirit more about his life, and as he answered, it was as though he was sitting beside us having a normal conversation through a series of letters and numbers as I recorded them in our books of shadows. I no longer have possession of this, otherwise I would have provided pictures.

Margaret had needed to tell her grandfather something very personal, and once she did, it brought us all to tears as John's spirit spelled out her nickname that only he called her when she was a child, followed by, I love you, VM. Once we got to that point where we had to say goodbye, we asked one final question. Is there, oh, I just got chills. Is there anything you need to help you pass on? He answered with, bedroom.

envelope, and sorry. We promised we would look into it and do what we could, and we slid the planchette over to goodbye, releasing our link to John's spirit. I have the constant nonstop chills. Oh my God. Immediately, we went into the grandmother's bedroom and tried to find something that John would feel the need to apologize for. How long has this been since John has passed and they're doing this? Couple years.

Trying not to invade her privacy too much while putting everything back in its place, we mostly found typical things that would be in an old woman's bedroom drawers. Except one thing. Found in the side where John used to sleep at the very bottom of the lowermost drawer. It was an unsealed envelope with John's name on the back.

As we opened it, we found a printed photo of a woman in lingerie smirking at the camera with, quote, Miss you written in pen on the back of it with nothing else. Margaret, looking at the photo, said, That's not my grandmother.

Putting two and two together, John must have cheated on the grandmother, and now John's spirit cannot pass on without her forgiveness, allegedly. Margaret was torn on this news and pleaded that she cannot tell her grandmother of this, that it's too personal, and she feared she would be meddling into a relationship that she has no place in, not to mention rubbaging through her private possessions.

But Anne and I didn't feel it was right to break this promise to John's spirit and potentially never allow him to pass on. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. So, but he just said find the envelope. He didn't say what to do with the envelope. He didn't, but they did ask, is there anything you need to help you pass on? The envelope. Bedroom, envelope, sorry. So yeah, it's up for a lot of interpretation. Yeah.

I mean, I would say they got to go back and talk to John. All right, keep going. Unfortunately, this is where my story ends. Margaret never told her grandmother about the session at all. And after several years, the grandmother passed away peacefully in her sleep at a retirement home at the age of 88. So, fam, what would you have done in this situation? Was Margaret right?

Additional info, I want to say that this occurrence is a rarity. The spirit has to have strong ties to people, location, item, and have the ability and strength to use the energy around itself to physically move the planchette to the degree that John's spirit did. In most cases, you would get one or two letters or numbers per question. Then eventually the spirit would deplete itself over time if it were a true human spirit.

In my experience, most sessions last about 15 to 30 minutes. John's answers and participation was detailed, intelligent, and our conversation went on for about an hour and a half. I cannot stress enough how uncommon this is. And please, those at home, do not attempt to use a Ouija board with someone experienced in spiritual ways. And to be honest, Ouija boards aren't the end-all be-all for connecting with spirits.

You can all take this how you like, and I'm sure people would just say that my story is fake. If I hadn't lived it myself, I probably wouldn't believe it either. I hope John passed on. Hopefully they found each other in purgatory. Thank you for reading this story. And for the record, I have not used a Ouija board since. What's really interesting is it was all there.

Everything came true. What John said, go find it, it was there. Yeah. So, John, this is real. We're going to go along. Oh, fully believe it was real. We're going to take this that it's real. Why did they not go back and talk to John?

I'm not sure. That is a good question. I guess like, oh, our writer here asking, so fam, what would you have done in this situation? I would have gone back and talked to John. And said like, hey. John, what do you want me to do with it? You need us to tell her or you just needed someone else to know. That could have been a good way to proceed. It is interesting that like, okay, the grandma probably didn't know because John felt that he needed it to come out, like the truth to come out. But

I find it hard to believe like the grandma, when he passed, wouldn't go through his drawers and maybe find that herself. I don't think it was for the grandma. What do you mean? I think that it's something else. He just needed someone to know? Maybe the girl and the woman in the picture. Maybe there was a message for the woman that's in the picture. I don't know. It's unfinished business. Well, and you don't know if it was like an affair or like,

I mean, granted, depending on how old the woman was, like it also could have, well, then he would have had to have an affair. It could have been before he even met grandma. We just don't know. Yeah. Like I said, it wasn't really, I mean, she's thinking, you know, the worst regarding for her grandma, but she's not really thinking it could have been something totally different than a relationship that didn't work out. Mm-hmm.

And he feels bad that he abandoned his true love, who this person could have been. Yeah. And wanted to say, I'm sorry to her. I mean, we just don't know. It's powerful though. It's just amazingly powerful. Well, does that make you like knowing, you know, this person's experience? And granted they say like, I haven't touched a Ouija board since, and I don't recommend touching a Ouija board unless you know protective spells, but yeah.

Do you find them super, like as dark, I guess, if you are taking those measures and working with someone who knows how to protect themselves? This doesn't sound dark to me. Yeah. You know, my fear of all this stuff all came from Krista. Krista burned into my brain that this is witchcraft, this is bad, you don't go near this stuff. But not all witchcraft is bad. But this is what she professed.

And being that, you know, we had a relationship and we loved one another and she wanted to protect me. She just said, do not go near this stuff. And so I, in respect, and we've been friends ever since. I mean, Krista and I will always have a certain love for one another. I mean, she can come on the show and everyone would meet her and would love her. Yeah. And she's got that kind of great energy.

But she might be interesting on this topic. Next year, next spooky season, we'll have her on. We'll get her on. But it's interesting. It's pretty wild. I mean, I'm open-minded enough to not condemn everything and try to look at everything with an open mind. This definitely sounds innocent. Yeah. Yeah.

I think they made the right choice though, like not telling the grandma. I think the only thing I probably would have done different is try to communicate with him one more time. That's it. And then see if he would have wanted her to be told and then maybe tell her. But like, honestly, like I feel like it's really hard because it comes up a lot in my Reddit stories too, where it's like my husband passed and I found out after he passed, he cheated on me. He's got a baby on the way with a coworker. And it's like,

It almost just like robs people of that

that person they thought they knew. And it, it, at that point, what good is it going to do except hurt grandma who has to then grieve and deal with this on her own. Totally agree with that. I totally agree that she didn't tell grandma. And I think that is perfect. But well, because he wasn't defined enough to say, yep. Tell grandma. Exactly. And granted, like this did go on for an hour and a half, but,

But he was still able to say bedroom, envelope, and sorry. I think he just needed to get it off his conscience. And I think you're right. Like, it was very unclear. It wasn't tell grandma or sorry, sorry.

It wasn't anything like that. So I get why they were conflicted because they felt they owed it to him. But at the same time, he didn't really specify. So I think like your conscience can be clear in that you did everything right too. Crazy. You know, I hate to say go back to the damned board, but...

You know, it seemed pretty innocent at the time. You could go back and say, hey, did you ever get released? Are you still hanging around? Yeah, I wonder. I wonder if Margaret still has the house. Eternity is a long time. Yeah. Woo-wee. Hello, THT and Father Knows fam. I'm here with a 100% real spooky story for you, and I hope you all enjoy. So as Morgan would say, let's jump in. Jump in.

In 1839, the Whitehall Mill was established with the purpose of producing cotton and woolen products. In the 1830s and 1840s, the company built a mill village along Whitehall Road, adjacent to the mill. Thinking that one of these charming little historic homes suited me, I opted to rent one when I finished out my degree. The place had been renovated, but it still had the beautiful old floors and much of it was preserved.

Well, our story starts on day one of the lease, when my fiance was helping me move in. We'll call him Nick as a homage to my favorite Backstreet Boy. There were two little bedrooms upstairs that I didn't plan to use. I was only moving into the master downstairs. So when I heard the distinct sound of heavy boots on the floor above that night, I called out to Nick, thinking that it was him and that I should remind him to not carry stuff up there.

You see, Nick wasn't a small man, probably 5'11 and 200 pounds, and he almost exclusively wore boots. So this sounded like Nick. But it was really Nick. I called him up the stairs asking what he was doing, but his reply came from where he was laying on my bed to rest after a long day of hauling furniture.

Of course, this was odd, but I brushed it off without thinking too much of it. In hindsight, the house was built for mill workers, so the heavy work boots made sense. Needless to say, I always knew that my ghost was a man. Anyways, the next day, more spookiness continued when Nick was in the dining area.

Off this room was a door to the back driveway. Being an old, heavy door on a house with a settled foundation, you really had to push it shut or it would swing open. But once it was shut, you knew that it was shut. I came into the room just as the doorknob peacefully turned on its own and the door slowly swung open. Nick and I stared at each other in disbelief.

But so began the string of wild events. Once, while laying in bed with Nick, I heard something land on the floor above that was so heavy that it shook the ceiling above my bed, waking me from a dead sleep. Mind you, upstairs was empty, not a single piece of furniture. At night, I almost always felt watched by some invisible spectator if I was alone. So sometimes this meant that I struggled to sleep.

One night at around 1 a.m., I finally built up the courage to turn off the lights. After about two or three minutes, the lights came back on. So I decided, fuck it. No clapper. I'll sleep with the lights on. Until they turned my lights back off a few minutes later. At this point, I knew someone was fucking with me. It wasn't an electrical surge or bad weather. The lights didn't flicker. It turned on. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. It turned off.

It felt very purposeful, and I almost felt that whoever was there sensed my fear and was having a bit of fun with me. So I decided that he was an asshole. I would turn off the lights to go to work. When I'd come home, the hallway light would be usually on again, with a dead roach in the dead center of the hallway directly under the light. It was weird. Again, probably just trying to mess with me.

My dog would refuse to go upstairs. The stairs were old and creepy as hell. Something just felt wrong about it. Further proof to me that he was upstairs. When I would take my dog to go visit my fiance or family, she'd try to avoid getting back in the car. She would hide and tuck her tail. She hated that house. To this day, she still hates car rides.

Well, one evening, I was letting my dog out to go to the bathroom. She ran around a bend in the gravel road that kind of doubled as my driveway and led around to an old Baptist church. So I followed her around the curve and found that just beyond some trees was a whole damn graveyard in my backyard.

I can't figure out how to add screenshots here, but I have photos of the house as well as the Google Maps view of the graveyard. Now, based on the sound of the boots upstairs and what felt like a very male presence, I still believed that my fellow resident was a mill worker from the Whitehall Mill. And to be honest, I didn't really investigate whether or not any mill workers were buried there. In hindsight, I wish I would have.

but I did try talking to him while standing by the stairs, since at this point I knew he preferred to hang out up there. I told him that I meant no harm, but I'd prefer it if he could stop trying to mess with me. I asked if we could please just live peacefully and respectfully live together. I never heard from him vocally or saw him, and after that, I no longer felt his presence in my room. However, this is where the story takes an even creepier turn.

I had only needed the house for one semester, but I'd signed a year lease with a promise to the landlord that I'd find someone to take it over for the remainder of the year. I found a nice girl that was a bit older than me and had a young son. I think he was around four. I was honest and gave her a heads up about the odd happenings around the house, but she brushed it off and said she didn't believe in such things.

After they moved in, my roommate carried on with her regular routine of putting her son to bed. Upstairs, around 8pm, and then she'd come down for a glass of wine in the living room with me. Some nights he'd begin crying and begging for his mom, saying that there was a man in his room.

She always said that he was just being a kid that was avoiding his bedtime. But, I mean, I kind of think there was a man in his room. Damn. I have to wonder if maybe this entity's fascination with me was replaced by a new target. The kid that was in his room. I felt bad for that little boy and I hope he's not traumatized. Poor kid. I want to know if he died in the house. Like, was he a mill worker and then like...

Did he die in the house? Like what happened? Yeah. Oh, I need to see pictures. So hopefully we can send her stories really fast and say, Hey, can you send the pictures? Poor kid just being put up there like, Hey, you're good. I wonder how old the kid is. Probably pretty young. Yeah. Young. No, someone's in my room. I don't want to go to sleep. No, you're just, no, just, you're just trying to avoid your bedtime. Yeah.

After all the stuff that happened before. Oh my God. I'm curious how the sounds are made. Like the loud boots or the loud dropping of some heavy object. How does it manifest itself into a physical... With no physical object. Good question. I'm always like, I want to know more. There's always middle energy. It's powerful. I just sent an email asking for pictures. Nice. Yeah. I'm really...

Oh, it's really scary. The door flying open is one thing because I just actually heard about this syndrome. It's called exploding head syndrome. And I had no idea about this until recently.

And exploding head syndrome is a sleep disorder. Although it sounds painful, you feel no pain. You hear a loud noise or explosion in your head. The sound isn't real or heard by others. It happens as you're falling asleep or when waking up during the night. I'm practicing that now to see if it works. Yeah. So you're saying that it's all just created in the mind. That's, but like it can be explosions, doors banging, gunshots, whatever.

Some people hear ringing sounds like bells, screams. It goes back to my very first thing that I said. How much of it's really physical and what's really their ability of getting in our head and having to pull our strings? But is it pulling our strings or is our mind pulling tricks on us? Or is this real? And this is like science's way. But like you think about exploding head syndrome and sleep paralysis, right?

What if that's just science's way to explain away these other things? Like a bunch of people have seen sleep demons. Oh, must be sleep paralysis because the paranormal isn't real.

So is it observable? Can we observe it during a sleep study and we see the brainwaves during times where patients report this happens? Or is it uncorrelated? Like, we got to do some research. Question. Guy in the back. Yeah. Guy with the bat. Yeah.

I just don't understand why it can't be a way of communicating electronically. We say that everything is through electricity. Energy, yeah. Energy. No energy is created nor destroyed. Why can this not be a mental...

connection. Why cannot travel be mental connection? Why are we so limited that it has to be physical for us to physically have been there when we have the ability of taking the telephone line and moving that energy?

Why do you love someone that is dead or that died before you were even born? How can you love something that's not in front of you? What's the social utility in that? Maybe it's not love. Maybe you're using the word love differently. Maybe there's still a strong connection. That is a fit that...

that manifests itself to say, I am real. I am an energy. You're an energy because you inhibit a physical body doesn't make you any more real than me. Well, that's what I'm saying. I'm saying love can transcend our three dimensions because what's the social utility of loving someone that's no longer here? I don't know that. And I never understood why they say love until death do you part.

Who came up with that great line? I don't know. Because it goes beyond that even a lot of times. It is interesting. Great stories.