"Dancers" Would Drop Me Off At School w/ That Mexican OT | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
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100%. I am here with the Peruvian OT and that Mexican OT. This is awesome. You guys want to do some Spanish real quick? Oh, fuck. He fucked me up. Tom's mom's Peruvian. That's beautiful. Yeah, man.

How long have you been over here? You've been over here your whole life? Whole life, whole life. But I used to go down there for my summers. So I used to spend summer there and go to school and stuff, yeah. Is it like you and the Sticks over there? What kind of... No, we're in the big city, Lima. So we're in the city, city, like 20 million people. Okay, sick as fuck. Yeah, big, big, big city. But then we would go... You know, I got to travel a lot. Because in Peru, you have the jungle, the Andes Mountains, you have the beach because it's coastal. So you can like...

travel all over and it's amazing. Does it look new? Like Houston is huge but it look old. I feel like Austin look new.

Austin looks new. It does. Houston does look old. It does. You feel like it looks old? Yeah, I mean, yeah, hell yeah. When you're in the city city? Yeah. It's a chaotic city. Houston? Yeah. Oh, it's too much, bro. I feel like it's chaos. Don't get it fucked up. I love Houston. Yeah, I do too. But it is chaotic. Oh, bro, it's too much. Yeah. Yeah. I do love my boys out there, though. Shout out to the H, man. Yeah. I just can't do it. I like being quiet. I like fucking being able to do what I want to do.

Houston is the rap scene in Texas, correct? Yeah, I mean, we got Dallas too. You know, Austin even got some cool shit, but definitely Houston is like... It's more OG for it because you have to give like... A lot of OGs come from that.

from now yeah i mean like scarface right like he's a houston guy man slim zero the whole suc the whole abm uh everybody yeah oh yeah it's houston yeah all that you said something on rogan when you're on rogan which was one it's my favorite appearance i love when people show

exactly who they are on Rogan. Yeah. And you can tell, and you know I love Joe, but Joe sometimes doesn't know how to handle super, super realness because he's in control. You walked in and you were like, my dad's a huge fan.

And Joe's like, well, I'd love to meet your dad. And you go, you just met him. And he's like, I did. And then you went off. You started talking about your mom and what a gangster she was and how you lost her at eight and how you've been a man. And, man, it was so fun to listen to you because you could tell you were a fan of Joe's, that you were excited to be there, that you got this persona, but you dropped it and you were just Virgil. Yeah, man. I mean, shit, first of all, I don't know what else to be, but I just, I know he's a brilliant mind.

And I didn't want to look like a dumbass around him. I don't even know if you noticed, but I didn't smoke the whole interview either. Really? Yeah, I just wanted to be on point with him. I just wanted to. Because I know he fuck with my music. I didn't want to give him anything that was less to make him be like, I don't like this dude. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? I just wanted to be on point. You wanted to be more in control too, right? Yeah, that's all it was. Yeah, yeah. I fuck with Rogan though tough, man. He got some cool shit, even from Fear Factor.

Fear Factor was fun, dude. Those days, when he was just on that show, I think that's probably when he was... That's not long after he... See, he used to not fuck with weed. People don't know that. He was what they call a drip. He was square. He was not into it. And then

I think when he was really progressing through jiu-jitsu. Now he's all mushroom and cheese. Now he's all in. But one of his closest buddies, Eddie Bravo, who's a jiu-jitsu savant, loves weed and actually says that it helps you in jiu-jitsu. Wow. And then so Joe got into that, I think, in that era, in the Fear Factor era. And you could see like...

footage of him before he smokes weed and then after yeah no definitely yeah cause I think he would be pretty high in those broadcasts towards the end who was hosting it after him it came back was it Tracy Morgan no no no it was him it was him and then they had then they had like a third return yeah maybe it was a third return somebody else I think it was Tracy Morgan right shit I don't know that'd be a perfect host for that fucking show I think it was Tracy Morgan it might have been

Dude, let me ask you this because I think about this shit all the time. Because I lived here 19 years before I moved to Austin. And there is such a difference in Mexican food. Oh, yeah. It takes place. And Cali, like here? Well, first of all, I think they use goat out here a lot. Goat? Yeah, we eat it with brisket. Like biryani and shit. It is goat. Out here it is. I think I've been cooking it wrong.

You use brisket, right? Yeah, I use brisket. Nah, that's the cool way. Yeah. I mean, to me, that's the right way. Yeah. Some people like that goat meat, though. Really? It's too something for me. It's too much of something. Have you done tacos here and then in Texas? I don't think. Yeah, of course I have. They're so distinctly different. Have you had a chimichanga?

That's some Tex-Mex ass shit. That's where it's like. The burrito deep fried? Yeah, deep fried. Yeah, I have. Yeah. But I think just at Whataburger. What the fuck? A chimichanga at Whataburger? I fuck with Whataburger. I fuck with Whatabeezy too, but a chimichanga? Yeah. That boy is different. You were fucking with Whataburger probably in Tallahassee? Oh, in Tallahassee. Yeah.

I don't drink and drive. No? I don't count drinking and driving to Whataburger. That's the only exception. Yeah, like if you got pulled over and you were like, I'm just going to Whataburger. He's going to be like, oh, bet, I'll let you go. Yeah, it's like, remember when Charles Barker got pulled over and he was like, let me explain something. I'm like, yes, I am drunk, but I'm going to get my dick sucked. As if the cop was going to be like, no, I get it, man, go ahead. Fucking dickhead. Yeah. No, I ain't going to lie, you know what's killing Whataburger to me, though? Whataburger and In-N-Out.

The Five Guys, bro. Five Guys? Oh, my goodness. Do you put them at the top? I definitely put them at the top. For me, personally. For you, yeah. I smack that shit down. Basket of fries, the whole bag of fries and shit. I just like that burger because it melts. Like, that shit just, it just, it tastes and feels like a burger's supposed to taste and feel. I'm biased. Like, I have a lot of love for In-N-Out, but when Shake Shack...

with those smash burgers. Something about a smash burger, like the simplicity of it and that griddle they use to like, you know what I mean, for that meat. I fucking love a Shake Shack smash burger. There's a burger they have in an airport. I think it's in Cincinnati where they put so much cheese on it, it like hardens and it falls over the side.

Y'all ever had Fuddruckers? Remember Fuddruckers? Yes. Fuddruckers was the best. It was. And they have like 45 options of burgers. Yeah. There were two places in the world where my dad would tell me that he'd be like, dude, my dad would shut it down at Fuddruckers and at Bennigan's. Whenever I saw fajitas, he'd like fucking forget about it, buddy. What's Bennigan's? Oh my God. That's, oh my God. Is it Cali Day? No, it's like,

old school 80s thing it's like the first place to introduce fajitas to white people yeah and then but fudruckers they let you build your own burger yeah and man my even as like a 10 year old i'd be like i need one pound burger i need big bun i need extra cheese my dad's like buddy fuck it you're 100 pounds oh i know can y'all cook yeah fuck yeah i can't cook for shit you love to cook i love cooking really i have a cooking show yeah that's why we bought this house to do my cooking show here

Damn. I love to cook. What's your favorite thing to cook? I mean, honestly, I made fucking lasagna yesterday or the other day for Black Eyed Keys. The Black Keys? Oh, the Black Keys? Yeah. You talking about? Oh, no, I made them shrimp and grits. It was fucking crazy with caviar on top. I put sugar in my grits. I don't know if I'm tripping or not.

That's a little spin on it. I like it. Cheese and butter. You might be related to my wife. No, maybe. Maybe it's just a Southern thing. That's a Southern thing for sure. I've always wanted to. I wish I could cook, though. Really? Yeah. When I was a kid, I learned how to make eggs, but then I forgot. Yeah.

Please cut that out and use that as a promo. I forgot how to make eggs. We got to do a tutorial today. What's your favorite way? I love eggs. What's your favorite way to have eggs? Man, I got to have it as an omelet. An omelet? Yeah, I think I got to have an omelet. Dude, we should do an omelet. Hold on. French omelet. Have you heard of French omelet? No, James. So French omelet is like the perfect omelet, but they make it a certain way. There's a certain way to cook it, just like French scrambled eggs. It's like a French omelet.

Soft. Are super soft and super runny. I don't think I've ever had anything French besides toast. You got to try French style. Also, you like salmon? Do you like fish? Actually, I do love salmon. My dad, he used to make me salmon, and he would eat cranberries and shove them in the patty and then cook it like that. Dude, the traditional French way of making a salmon filet is so simple. It's the fucking best thing ever.

the best way to have salmon? I ain't gonna lie. Like steak, mashed potatoes, any barbecue. Yeah. I could survive off that shit. Yeah, sure. I love steak. The only thing I do like regularly still. Oh yeah. I do steak a lot. I'm a big steak guy. I made Leanne a Wagyu New York strip with mashed potatoes the other night. Yeah.

The thing, dude, that- Hey, please tell me you agree with this, bro. So I seen this dude and he had a fucking undercover camera on him and he snuck into a cow farm. And, bro, the way they treated these cows was horrible. Oh, have you ever seen- Like, people like that deserve, like, you need to go to hell. Yeah, that's bad. You know what I'm saying? Because, like, when doing a human crazy, it's like, all right, you, like, sometimes people deserve to get slapped the shit out of them. Yeah. That animal, bro, what the fuck happened here, man? Animal abuse, like, in some of those, it's gross. Yeah.

Hey, that shit is brutal, bro. So anyways, like, you know, that energy is real. I think it goes into your body. And they fucking mass produce. So this fucking animal, full fear, full fucking just being, you know what I'm saying? Like anything that's just bad. Yeah. And then it dies and it has that energy still. Then they feed it to us. I want them. Oh, you know what I want them to do?

I want them to, I mean, I kind of like the idea of what Joe does where he hunts his own shit. I wish that you could source that through a group of friends. Right. The three of us could go in on an elk. Yeah. That's a business. I would do it. If you told me like, if you said like the three of us within a year are going to eat two cows, two pigs, two elk. And we just put our money in for the year and we know it gets shipped to us and we know that it was hunted or it was killed humanely. Like,

Like, I would be into that. That's why I don't eat octopus anymore. Do you like hunting? I never hunted. How the... I need to take you hunting. How do they kill... Bro, I'll give you... We'll get, like, five pounds of tannerite, put dog food on that shit, and then let fucking, like, a family of 30 pigs get on there. Poof.

We got to do that. We do. Dude, shooting Tannerite is fun as fuck. I'll have you in a helicopter shooting motherfuckers. Really? Hell yeah. Those are the invasives. We have those in Florida. Those boars that just fucking ruin. Bro, like, I mean, imagine for five years you and your boy growing this garden in the night. You know what I'm saying? And one night the whole family of like 50 pigs just take it all out. Holy shit. And they took your dog.

If you like to hunt, by the way, go to Australia. Australia? Yeah. What are you catching out there? Well, first of all, there's any time of year you can kill a kangaroo. No shit? Yeah. Are you serious? Hunting kangaroos a thing? Oh, you can go up to it with a knife and just slit its throat, and they're like, good. Because they see it as like a rat infestation. Oh, so it's like the boars. Yeah, yeah. You can just go up and kill it any time. That's insane. For real? Yes.

What the fuck? A kangaroo? Yeah, it's a problem. How tall does a kangaroo get? Some of them are fucking pretty big. A fucking seven foot, right? No, I don't think that tall, but... Can you Google that? Yeah, it's... Do y'all remember Kangaroo Jack? The movie? Yeah. That was my shit. How tall here?

With the fucking Twizzlers? Six feet. Six feet. I mean, that's still tall. That's pretty big, man. Yeah. You ever see the shaved kangaroo? See the jacked ones? They're jacked as fuck. Yeah, same thing with the bears. You know what they'll do, too, right? Like a really aggressive one. They'll sit back on their tail. The tail will hold them up. And then the tail, they can disembowel you. They can split you right open, dude. Yeah.

Bro, look at that fucking monster. Looks like Rogan. Ain't no bullshit. When I went to give him a hug, I was like, bitch, you're fucking stiff. Yeah. It was like holding a cinder block. He's a fucking lunatic.

Yeah, he's never been out of shape. That's the thing. He's just never been out of shape. And then, bro, I saw the interview where he was talking about those narrow gums or the mints. Have you tried those? Yeah. I've been wanting to get on them. They're great. Yeah, you fuck with them? Yeah, yeah. They really work? Yeah, they're great. Man, bro, because I'm high all the time, and I like being on point.

And sometimes I just be high. Do you have a show tonight? Nah, no, sir. Were you just out here partying? Nah, hell nah. I don't really party too much. I fucking...

but I just came out here to promo. Oh, really? I got my project Reset's coming soon, so I just been fucking with that shit. I love your style because you have what you call traditional rap, and then you have, what is it, Cowboy Killer? Yeah. It's a little more fun, and you just kind of take... I got to send you the projects. The new one with Lil Wayne's awesome. Thank you, bro. I got one called Weed Eater. You got to jam it. God, man. It's just, it's like...

The thing I love about comedy is when, you know, look, there's certain guys that have a certain angle and they do it a certain way. And then there's guys who just fuck around. You just have, everything's funny to them. They just want to laugh. I got an ass tray. Thank you, cousin. But that's what I love about your style. Thank you, bro. Is it's, it is, it's just what you find fun. And it's exactly what it is. Like I've been meeting up with all of these labels and shit and they're like, well, why are you calling the project Recess? And it's,

I still feel like I'm a kid. I still feel like homeboy beating on the table. And we're at the lunchroom and we're just going in. My dad's a personal trainer. And when he trains people, he tells them all the time. He tells them all the time. Excuse me. You stop working out when they took recess out of your life.

You know what I'm saying? So when you come in here, don't look at it like going to the gym. Just be a fucking kid. Just come in here and have fun. Dude, that's a great perspective. Yeah. That's great. And it's great for fitness, health stuff, but it actually is something that as adults I feel like we should embrace for our kids.

creative shit too like have fun you know what i'm saying like man like i it's working for me because i'm still being a kid with this shit you go on that stage and you're still being that fucking kid you know i'm saying and i think that's why i work and that's why i feel good i think that's what like when i did the the show bad thoughts this is a show on netflix called bad thoughts so nasty have you seen it no it's fucking hysterical and it's it is just

It is his sense of humor. Yeah. I've been on trailer park, bro. They're great. But my thing is that like, I, I think I had more fun making that show than almost anything I've ever done. Cause it was just, just feel good being a kid. Yeah. It was recess. It was recess. Exactly right. Summer's here. Set those legs free with the line swim collection from chubbies.

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It's exactly right. It was so fun, man. I look at what, like, I know you're friends with Ralph. Yes. Oh, Ralph. Shout out to Ralph. I love Ralph. Did you know Kenny Flores? The Ken, the one that passed. Yeah. I didn't know him too much. I definitely was seeing his shit and thought he was fucking funny. Yeah. He was...

Hysterical. I believe it. He was hysterical. Rene Vaca and like, I love, I love. I fuck with that whole circle. Yeah, I love that whole circle. So fun when I see you guys because you guys, and it's interesting. We were talking about Ralph. I know Ralph doesn't like this being brought up too much, but white people wanted to put Ralph in a box and be like, so you're a Mexican comic.

And then Ralph's like, no, I'm a comic. Yeah, he's like, I'm not like this or whatever. And white people couldn't understand it. And when I see you guys and I see what you guys are doing, you're so authentically you and you're not what Hollywood or the music industry wants to put in the box. When I saw you fight that fucking bull,

That's my favorite thing I've ever seen on the internet. Dude, the baddest motherfucker. Motherfuckers thought that was AI. I was like, bitch, no, I earned that shit. You sure did. Dude, that's, like, you had fucked around like that before? Yeah, for sure. Matter of fact, if y'all can make it February 7th, we got our own. I threw my own bull riding in Bay City. This one's going to be in Rosenberg this time. Bussing, bull riding, bull fighting. So you've been doing that your whole life? Come on, been around it my whole life.

My little cousin Jack, 15, he be bull riding. Really? My Uncle Joe. I really, I watched my Uncle Joe do that shit growing up. Is my Tia Sonia a husband? Bad motherfucking white boy. He cold. Grew up on the grass. Hey, pull up me fighting a bull, if you could. What? You never saw mine? Are you fucking shitting me? I'm being dead fucking serious. Oh, no. It's a little different than yours. I believe it, right? It is.

February 7th, I will never get near another fucking bull as long as I live. Well, check this out. We're going to get some pigs and put them in baby oil and let you try and catch them. This is when I was 27 years old. Look at how young I am. Bird versus bull. So I'm the, here's the bull. No, so you've been on this shit. That's me in those suspenders. Dude. Wait till you see this. I wish you would bring this show back. You've been doing shit. Oh, buddy. Here we go.

Go! Broke my ribs and broke my foot. Oh, that quick? Oh, that quick, it was over. Holy fuck. It was over, look at me. And then they're like, whatever you do, don't get by the railings. And I go, how do we get here? Oh, shit.

So when I saw you do that, first of all, I know how scary that is. Yeah. I know how... And I know... As soon as I saw you do it, I go, he's been around bulls before. Right. Because there's a certain way to fucking... So obvious, man. The most gangster shit is you start on the ground and let him go over you. Yeah, right? You saw that? Oh, I was like...

But I'm not going to lie. You're a beast, though. That was a full-grown bull. The bull I was fighting was about eight months. Really? Yeah. That looked like... My favorite one is the football one, though. Let me see. Let me see. Let me see. Dude, the football one is fucking awesome. Dude, I got fucking... Damn, so what is this? What's this called? This is called Hurt Bert. Hurt Bert. Hurt Bert. He was just doing it all. He couldn't pay me to bring it back. Really? Oh, shit. Oh, buddy, this is... Oh, shit. Bro.

My favorite. Look how young you are. I like how he's like, what's up, guys? And they're like, what's up, man? That's me in the red. Nice. Boom. But it's crazy because even the bull, they don't look like they're hitting you hard. They're hitting your ass hard. They're stepping up, too. Scoot to the, you just got to see the one. Fucking dickhead. Okay, go back. Go back.

Okay, scoot to the one big hump right there. And these boys... Where do you see this hit? These boys playing. This hit was the one that fucking I got a concussion from. Watch this. Watch this.

Oh, blindside? Oh, he's a hoe. I was some straight hoe-ass kid, bro. Boom, boom. That's fucked up. And you got a real concussion from that. Yeah, I fought a bear during this. I was a dominatrix gimp. I swam out of the cage of great white sharks. What's a dominatrix gimp?

Just type in dominatrixgimp and you'll see it. I just shot a porn, basically. Oh, nice. Yeah, they put like 10-pound weights on my balls and shocked my cock with an electrode and fucking nipple clamps. Yeah, they wanted to put electrodes inside the head of my dick.

Yeah, but I wouldn't let him. That's probably a good line. Hey, I was a kid and I watched this porno and fucking... It was like they were showing behind the scenes and shit. And this dude, he goes to this dude and he's like, kids, don't smoke. And it goes down to his dick and he has a cigarette in his cock hole. That shit fucked me up. Some of the stuff you never forget that you saw as a porn. Yeah, but I... I remember we were in like 10th grade. No, it was...

I must have been in college, and someone was like, yeah, put in a porn. You know, you just kind of watch it on the side, and I remember the one girl put her foot in another girl's pussy, and I went, whoa. And I was like, what the fuck? And I was like, why is that turning me on? Hey, no bullshit. When I was watching those porn stars and the behind the scenes and shit, I was like, I respect that shit, because there was this one scene where a homeboy was hitting a homegirl, and the director was like, and hold it, hold it, and...

Climax! And they're like, ah! It's like, damn. Yeah, it's a beast, bro. You really got to be in there fucking. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? I can think back to strippers. I have one stripper that I think about. Wow. If I ever think about strip clubs, there's one stripper. Nice. It was Jason Nash's bachelor party. It was in the valley at a place called Valley Dolls.

and she had cholita tattooed across her stomach and i was like she's gonna ruin your life i was like i bet this girl would trash me right god i don't know man those strip clothes they too much i'm getting trouble there uh i don't i don't usually get you know so funny i when i was younger i did when i got married and i knew that i was allowed to go i kind of was like i tried and that i think my wife's older so like we were talking about it i got a lap dance the other day

And I was like, this doesn't feel like what I'm used to. Like, where are her moles? Oh, shit. Skin's too smooth. Skin's too smooth. Like, what is this, a fucking volleyball? Last time I was in the strip. I need a fucking football, something with lumps. I was with fucking Ralph, and I was talking to this girl. I'm so fucking trash. I'm talking to her. I pull up in the trash can and fucking pick back up and keep talking to the bitch.

I was like, I got to get the fuck out of here because I thought that was smooth as fuck. Like, I thought I couldn't cut that off better. I puked over here. What's up? Yeah, no bullshit. I mean, shit, I got the numbers, so it didn't matter. Hey, it worked, man. Yeah. I want to ask you about rapping because, like, in comedy, when you're –

starting out coming up we like you know we bomb sometimes right and it's so fucking you're like yeah i'm good at this right and you go and you just eat shit and it sits with you you're like fuck it's like the dirtiest feeling when you're like trying to get started do you have moments where you were like whatever whether it's a freestyle or some shit and you just eat shit like as a rapper

I don't think I've had that moment yet. No. Well, you're not going to have it now. I meant like when you're like trying to figure it out. No, I don't think so. Damn. So it was always just working for you. Yeah. I mean, well, you got to understand. Well, maybe when I was trying to look like a rapper. Okay. It wasn't working. I threw the J's on, had my jeans, you know, whatever, you know, trying to look like a rapper. Yeah. And it just, it didn't even feel comfortable. You know what I'm saying? Uh,

Because you weren't being yourself. You know? And then one day I just showed up like me and it just took off. Yeah. That's awesome. But as far as like the rap wise, like the rapping, fuck no. You got to understand like the way Mayweather was walking and he was in a boxing gym. As soon as I was talking, I was in the studio. Seriously? Yeah. He's been rapping since he was like four. Yes. My mama gave me my first rap name and she was the one that wanted me to be a rapper. Wow.

You know what I'm saying? Hell yeah. And then, you know, I would go to see my dad in prison and I would go rap to him through the glass and he likes that shit. So, you know, my uncles and my cousins were doing it. So you were training at four? Literally. Not even knowing though. Right, right. Just doing it. It's just part of life. I was with my kinfolks doing it and I felt grown because they was grown, you know, and I'm talking about some grown shit. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It just felt cool and it just kind of worked out for me. Man, I'm grateful.

Your mom moved to San Francisco? I can't remember. Your mom... Your dad went to prison. Your parents split up, right? My mama told my dad she was on birth control, I think. Oh, for real? Yeah, I think so. She was 18 when she had you, right? Yeah. And then she moved...

He went to prison and she moved. Did she just move to where you live now? Nah, she's still in Bay City. Bay City, okay. I heard Bay City and I immediately thought San Francisco. Oh, no, yeah. That's the Bay area. Yeah, yeah, Bay City. So she moved to Bay City and your mom was a gangster. Yeah, 1,000%. Like, still to this day. Like, I remember a lot of... I go back to the hood, a lot of dudes be bringing her up and like...

I don't want to hear that shit because in my mind, you was fucking my mama. You know what I'm saying? For real, because my mama, you know, man, my mama, she was living. And so I didn't ever want to hear that. But one day my buddy Boom sat me down and he was like, bro, these people really respect your mama. He said, I just don't want it. He's like, I see you feel that way and I don't want you to feel that way because you shouldn't. I ain't trying to tell you this to make you feel good. I was just left alone.

This is the best vodka in the world. You're talking to a man who's put 10,000 hours into a couple things, eating pussy and drinking vodka. I'll bring my wife in if you want. I'm pretty good at the first one too. But this is better than pussy. This is the best vodka you're ever going to have. It's clean. I sleep court. My sleep scores through the roof because of it. It tastes clean. Everyone I've given it to loves this vodka. Tom, tell them. It's absolutely fantastic. We have a proprietary distillation process. And listen, we are winning competitions. We have gold medals. It's a great thing.

in various competitions. And honestly, you, the people, are the ones telling us how great it is too. This is not just smoke that we're blowing here. We're telling you because you're telling us this is now your favorite vodka. So thank you. And if you haven't tried Poroso's, get out to the store. If they don't carry it, tell them you want them to carry it. Tell them, request it. When you go to the bar, you say, hey, do you carry Poroso's? And if they say no, you go, you should. It's pretty freaking awesome. And then walk out.

You know what I do? I go, do you carry porosos? And they say, no. I bring out a bottle and I give it to them. I go, now you do. Can I get a bottle, a glass of porosos? That's awesome. That's awesome.

Like your mama was solid and a gangster. They didn't look at my mama. To them, she was black. You know what I'm saying? Just in the hood every day and just with them thugging. Just cooler than a bitch, man. I'll show you some pictures of my mama. I couldn't find a picture of your mama online. Yeah. Because you describe, you say every time you hear high heels, you think of your mom. Yes, man. He knows. I used to be in daycare, and every time I heard them high heels coming, I knew it was my mama.

There's nobody else mama wearing high heels. It's crazy how those memories sit with you. Yeah. You know, like a sound, a smell, something takes you right back. Yeah. Man, I wish I remember her perfume. I remember when she passed, I remember her smell for a little bit. About two, three years later, it went away. But I remember...

I was in Walmart one day and I was in the aisle and I smelled it and I was like, what the fuck is that? And it's fucked me up ever since then. I've always tried to remember what her scent was. I bet you could figure it out based on the year and what was popular. Right. Like I know for a fact I had the same thing with

The girl I lost my virginity to had a very popular... I had a smell. Nice. And I smelled... Well, it gave me an anxiety attack when I smelled it. So I wasn't really good at having sex. Yeah. So I smelled it, and anytime I smelled it, I'd have an anxiety attack. That's good. And it was crazy. And then I was like, I just need to stay away from that smell. And then some... I think it was my little sister was like, what smell was it? And I was like, I don't know. 1987, whatever was popular. And they were like...

Colors. Was it colors? Colors. But man, when I smell it, I mean, I get pulled back. It's funny. I shouldn't be telling this story because it's only about me, but when I met my wife, I was allergic to cats and I wouldn't go to her house because I had allergies. She broke up with me and she goes, you know, one of the reasons is I need someone who would be able to live with the cats. I got to live with cats. So I got on allergy medicine.

For the first time, I'm 26 years old. Yeah, 29. Damn, she left you for the cat. Yeah. That's crazy. And we have cats to this day. We have two cats in our house. Sick. But I got on allergy medicine, and for the first time in my life, I could smell things. Yeah. The first thing I smelled was jasmine. The second thing I smelled was lilies.

So now, every time I smell jasmine or lilies, I think of Leanne because I never smelled a flower in my life because of my allergies. Really? Yeah. And so every time... But it smells so fucking wild. Yeah. I bet you can find your mom's scent. Nah, I'm sure. But remember, I was telling you earlier, I already got a fucked up nose. I got to get some type of surgery to get it fixed. I got into a fight with this kid named Jack Tarr. We used to have the boxing gloves in our locker room and we would just...

fucking go hard. Really? And Jack Tarr, you know, I was strong and a lot of people didn't want to fuck with me because I was just icy and shit. And this one dude, Jack, he wasn't really good at fighting but just corn-fed ass motherfucker. Talking about fucking legs like tree stumps, you know? And we're fighting and I'm going hard and I'm eating him alive, bro. And then he caught me with this lucky ass punch.

Bam! Hit my bitch ass. And I remember I was dazed. You know what I'm saying? If he would have followed up with another one, he would have knocked my ass out. You remember Dante, bro? Dante steps in. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. He talks like he's fucking inbred. But you know what I'm saying? He was like, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, right now, no. And he saved my life. But ever since then, my nose has been fucked up. So I got to get that done. Yeah. Yeah.

That's going to change the way you feel completely, man. No, I believe it. Even remember I was telling you earlier about the gag and trying to inhale a lot? I think it's because I just got so much gunk in there. It makes my ears feel fucked up. I get bad ear infections. You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. Bro, I'll shower and get an ear infection. Yeah, that shit's bad. But I think it's because I'm just already all clogged up. Definitely it's all connected. Yeah, yeah. He's Captain Surgery. Really? He goes to a doctor. If he feels something wrong, he goes to a doctor immediately. You been getting those IVs?

I got one yesterday. That's why I'm so bloated. Yeah, me too. I got one yesterday. I love that shit, man. Yeah. Stem cells, too. I get stem cell injections. What? Like a stem on black ops?

And, dude, this week I got three different kinds. I got stem cell IV. I got direct inject stem cell. And then they put stem cells in like this inhaler. So like the vapors go in. Yeah, all three. That sounds good. It's great. Do it at Ways to Well in Austin. You can come to Austin. I'll set you up. The place is amazing. Hey, what's up? I've been trying to go to Tony so bad. He wants me there. I just be busy with my bitch ass. Oh, yeah. I bet your schedule's crazy. Yeah.

Well, it is coming up now, too. You know what I'm saying? Are you going on a tour right now? In August. I'm finna drop Recess and then follow up with a tour. Oh, nice. Yeah. Nationwide? No, not yet. I like, I don't know, man. I'm kind of scared leaving. Yeah? Yeah. I got my passport and everything. I'm ready. I'm supposed to be going to Berlin to do the Wee Cup with my buddies, and I really want to go to Japan. Japan? Let me tell you something, man. I went for the first time last year. Sick. In all, I've been to like, I don't know.

50 countries everywhere. That's the most amazing place that I've been. Is it true that it's just so clean and nice there? Dude, dude. Like, I heard a story. Somebody was fucked up, and he fell asleep in the street, and they woke up with a bunch of water bottles around him. I believe it. The Japanese culture is incredible. It's quiet. It is, like, you get on the subway. No one's talking. Everyone gets off the subway. No one's talking. And then you go to, like, Vietnam, Vietnam.

totally fucking different yeah vietnamese vietnam is so fucking loud and then it's like it's japan no one's touching each other and vietnam it's like they're putting their fingers in your mouth did you pick on me what the fuck's going on the traffic's chaos japan's out of this world fun and the food is crazy it's a list dude everything you eat there everything yeah a tomato

A grape, a strawberry, lettuce, crab, whatever you have. I swear to you, you'll be like, this is the best tomato I've ever had in my life. Like everything. They got steak out there or they not cooking like that? Oh, their steak is outrageously good. Not horse? No. No. Wait, wait, can I, could you do, could you tour like Mexico and do, and wrap in Mexico and would it have the same translation as it does in Texas? Yeah. Yeah.

That's so much fucking money. Have you done, have you performed in Mexico? No. I did Mexico City. That's hard. It was awesome. Yeah. I was kind of scared to go to Mexico too though, you know what I'm saying? Cause like, it's just, it's, bro, it's, I mean, I love Mexico. I used to go there as a kid all the time, you know what I'm saying? But like, it's just getting ugly, bro.

I feel like it's getting ugly. And you're the guy that like, I mean, I'm not, I'm just saying like, if you're a cartel leader and you're a fucking gangster, he's going to look at my tattoos and be like, that's not us. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. I didn't even realize that. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

- Oh, that is crazy. - Yeah, it's deeper, you know? - Mexico City is so bilingual. - Yeah, no, I believe it. - Yeah, so like the show, like I did Buenos Aires, I did Argentina, I did Santiago, Chile, and then I did Mexico City. Mexico City was like, it was just like you're performing in Houston.

Like, it was... You wouldn't know you were out of the country. Nah, believe it. That shit sounds cool as fuck, though, man. It was rad. I got a song with Lefty SM, and they shot his shit out there, and it looked cool, and I was like, fuck, I wish I went, but like...

i just be living in fear with that i feel like i heard so many stories there's a lot of crazy stories bro because that is real that's real yeah that is completely real well not if you're white like me it's not real at all i walk around mexico city mexico city with a rolex on like what's up fellas two tna cigars nah but it can't happen though oh i know i mean i you gotta understand you got that go home and look at that grandma's stomach touch they back every day don't give a about that i need what you got you know

I don't even know what you said, but it scared the fuck out of me. I was like, touch your grandmother's stomach. No, I say you got motherfuckers that go home every day and watch their grandmama's stomach touch their back like they starving. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. You were in a cold house. I liked it better the way you said it, the way I heard it. Just dudes going home, touching their grandmother's stomach, and then touching their back. I'll be back, grandmama. I'll be back, grandmama. I also had zero understanding of what you said, but I was like, yeah, that does sound scary, man. No, for real, though. These people don't care.

God, your perception of the world is so different than my perception of the world. I look at it, I really am not just glass half full, but glass overflowing. I see opportunity everywhere. And I think sometimes the problem is

is you don't realize, like, that, yeah, I guess the world doesn't see that way. Not everyone's given just, like, opportunity after opportunity. Yeah, and then some people, like, they, some, like, because I've been in this game long enough to where I can, I've said my beliefs and I've had my ways and people don't like it and agree with it. So I feel like I've lost a lot of my miskins, but...

Shit, I'm not going to. Really, they're not, like Mexicans in general, some of them are just not fans because of your beliefs? Yeah. Really? Because of who I like, what I'm into. Who do you like?

You know what I mean? I mean, shit, it can be anything. Like they might not like what I think politically. Oh, right. You know what I'm saying? But the other side of that is. Or religiously. Or anyway. There's some people who probably hear what you say and they go, I love this though. Yeah. I mean, some people are like, I don't agree with them, but I fucking love them. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, I mean, just because you like to eat or fucking cook or whatever the fuck, I'm not going to not like you because you like that shit. Yeah. It's what you like. Yeah.

It's what you're into. It's your belief. It's so funny. The thing that might rub people wrong is the thing that draws me in. Yeah. I just like that you're really authentically you. I thank you, bro. I mean, every part about you is like just it is not manufactured by an industry. It is just you. It's, you know.

That's so interesting. - No, I like it, man. I think it's cool, bro. And anybody that's still on my boat, I'm grateful, man, 'cause like I said, these people don't have to like me. - But that's who you want though, man. You want, like I think everybody, you want people who are fans that are fans because you're being yourself. If you're trying to be something else and they're fans, it's not gonna work. - And I mean, bro, I keep it real with my members. I keep it real with my people. And most importantly, I wake up every day and keep it real with myself.

I'm not going to not be me to make you happy. You know what I'm saying? For sure. And I don't know you shit, bitch. In reality, I don't even give a fuck if y'all like my music because at the end of the day, I do this shit because Sophie wanted me to do it. I used to be broke and on drugs, laid out in the middle of the street, happy, still doing this shit. I like, that might be cut out, but I like being on drugs. Yeah. I love acid. I love mushrooms. I love weed. I love sip and drink. I love getting fucked up and cocaine.

I like doing all that shit. You know what I'm saying? Tom likes everything you just said too. No, that's what I'm trying to say. Have you tried DMT?

Tom is really in love with DMT. He's been doing it, what I would say, almost too much. I ain't going to just necessarily say I do it too much, but I like it and I'll do it if it's right. I think I've been doing it an excessive amount. Yeah? What are you doing? Before he goes to bed. Yeah, yeah. No shit. Yeah, fully hallucinating. It's fun.

Tom's like a low-key drug addict. Yeah, no, I like this shit. Everyone goes, oh, Bert's an alcoholic. Bert's fat. It's like, are you not looking at the guy next to me? Yeah, right. I say all that, though, because I was given when I was broke. I'm happy. I'm okay with being broke.

You know what I'm saying? I'm cool with being nobody. I like being a nobody. All these motherfuckers coming up to me and want to leave me alone and shit. Yeah. Like, don't get it fucked up. I love my fans. And I go above and beyond with making them know that it's obvious that I'm grateful for you. I love you. But some people just want to fuck with me because, like, they need to know me as the dude holding the chicken. You know what I'm saying? Fuck all that, bro. Like, I want to talk to the people that are the reason why I'm living different. Yeah. And you also get something we don't get. You walk into a room...

And you kind of pop. Like when you walked in a NASCAR, it's like every fucking 50 year old white woman in a sundress turned and was like, who's that? And by the way, I was the first one to come up to you. I was like, oh shit. I know. I flip shit when I seen you. I done that shit a brick. I was like, no way. I didn't think you'd be a NASCAR fan.

And then immediately I was like, of course he's a fucking NASCAR. I was like, there's no way he's going to be at the Indianapolis 500. He's going to be a fucking NASCAR. And dude, I came up and I was like, I'm going to give you space because I knew you were going to get inundated. So I was like, dude, I love you, man. I'm a huge fan. You're real as fuck.

And then I was like, we got a podcast together sometime. And then I was like, I'll come find you in a little bit. And I went down and I'd just shown you fighting that bull to my whole team at NASCAR. I just showed it to them. And Kyle was behind me. You met Kyle downstairs. And I go, Kyle?

He just walked in. She goes, what? I said, I'm Mexican OT. He just walked in. She went, shut the fuck up. And everyone's like leaned up. We were in the front row. They're like, where is he? And then I think Kyle came back and maybe introduced himself to you. And then, and then I was like, all right.

He's had time. I'm gonna go talk to him cuz I'm bad with celebrities And so I walked up and then you were gone. I was like fuck I started going booth to booth going. He's got to be right next door. He's got to be right next door But and then I was like, oh just DMM Yeah, but uh, but you what you do pop when you go into a room So in you know, listen to fancy they give you they come after you but then also you get you get what I get sometimes is like

some annoying older white woman going, I don't know who you are, but everyone seems to know who you are. Who are you? Yeah, and it's like, bitch, move around. Yeah, get out of here. Like, just leave me the fuck alone. I don't like that shit, man. But I mean, but I don't like it because, like, already before, I was already that type of person. Yeah. I used to just be mean, man. I had a lot of hatred in me. Felt like everything owed me everything because I was just taken away from everything. But then, you know, I just got older and just realized shit like that.

grown up at eight yeah yeah i mean that's from when you said you said at eight i was a grown up i remember you hearing hearing you say that on rogan and i was like i didn't learn how to jerk off until i was 10. yeah i was like man i yeah bro i ain't gonna lie my mama she used to have them dope heads around i feel like i remember one time there was these two motherfuckers in mind and my cousin bunk bed i walked in on that you know mom but you gotta understand my mama was still young yeah yeah

You know what I'm saying? Like, she was still having a lot of shit going on. She still wanted to live her life. So I love my mama. She did great, you know, but she was just too gangster. Yeah. But no, yeah. I mean, shit, I remember looking at my teachers in the first grade. Like, I don't know what fucking is, but I'd fuck you.

For real. So it's deeper. I remember stealing blue flags from Walmart, feeling like I was gangbanging already by the time I was 10. Really? Yeah. Is this in Bay City? Bay City area, Lake Jackson, Freeport, all that shit. My mama was always in Lake Jackson and Freeport, but I stayed in Bay City a lot.

Or West Columbia. That's where my grandparents were. And that's still home, right? Yes, sir. Nice. It's just a bunch of small country towns. Matagorda County, Bezoria County. Bezoria was actually supposed to be the capital of Texas. Was it really? Yes. And they ended up making it Austin. Stephen F. Austin got land out there. They got a statue of him out there.

Yeah, his family used to walk that land, Jones Creek. Wow. I think like 1,800 acres out there. Texas is pretty fucking badass when you think about it. Yeah. It really is. It's beautiful, man. We got Greenland. We got Flatland, the desert. We got mountains. You could drive like 18, 19 hours. Is that area with all those towns, is that pretty mixed? Is it like white folks, Mexican folks? Is it all? Oh, yeah. A lot of black motherfuckers, a lot of Mexican motherfuckers.

A lot of whites. Yeah. Pretty much. We don't get the motherfucker at the end. White sons of bitches. Nah, I mean, it's a pot of gumbo out there. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. That's cool. I like it though, man. It's quiet, it's slow boogie, I can do what I want, river, you know what I'm saying? Dude, they're going to fucking love you in Japan. I just realized, have you ever seen Japanese cholo culture? Yes.

Yes. It's fucking awesome. Holy, bro, it fucked me up when I seen they had lolos and shit out there. It's fucking, I mean, it is like. Matter of fact, I met a Jap Chicano over here, Japanese Chicano over here one time. Really? Yeah, he had a shirt that was all white and it had the two flags and it was a Japanese flag, Mexico flag. I was like, damn, you're hard, fool. Hardcore. Fucking cool ass mud. That's crazy. No, yeah. There's like such a huge hip hop scene.

Culture there? Yeah, I was going to say, my buddy, Ellie, he punched me in with a dude named Shu, and he has like a whole DJ screw shop out there. Wow. Yeah, shit's fucking sick. They got a slab out there on Swankers. Really? Yeah. You got to go, man. No, matter of fact, y'all got to come to Texas because I want to put y'all in a helicopter. We need to go shoot some shit. I'd do that. We need to go fucking. We need to do all that. You would definitely do that. I would love to do that. Love to do that. All that.

I don't know if y'all like getting dirty, but I fuck with those ATVs and the four wheelers. Oh, yeah. Man, we'll go out there to Crosby and get muddy. That'd be fun, man. I'd love to do that. Yeah, you're doing Texas wrong. And now I need to get out there. Y'all got four wheelers? What's that? Four wheelers? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I got an Outlander.

fucking bad motherfucker dog it's like the Cadillac of those bitches and I be riding and like those Polaris fucking things too yeah but I like the four wheeler cause you can dog that bitch you know what I'm saying the Polaris is just some cool shit to vibe with like you got homegirl with you or something but if you got somebody like who like I went in Australia I went to Daniel Ricardo's ranch the F1 driver nice and he drives a Polaris like fucking sideways like it's ooh

Nuts. And then also another thing, the turbo on that bitch, when it hits, I feel like I'm breaking it every time I hit the gas. Like, it just sounds ugly. If anyone else had been driving, we for sure would be dead the way he was doing it. But he's, like, so proficient. You're just like, yeah. I mean, like, the whole way. Like, 60 miles an hour sideways all over this 1,000-acre ranch. It was fucking insane. They do it in sand dunes in Michigan. And you go fucking flying.

You know, it's so funny. A long time ago when I was working on Birth Conqueror, we did four wheelers. It was four wheelers in mud. It was a big contest in Texas. And they had a big fucking mud pit. And the whole idea was you and a partner got on your four wheeler and you had to make it all the way across. You'd haul ass in. You'd get stuck. You'd be leaning to one side. And I was like, man, this is going to be redneck as fuck.

And there's something about redneck. Like, there's something about... There's some... Look, I'm not gonna talk shit about my own people. Man, I'm a brownneck, fool. Well, I got out there...

There's something about rednecks that make me unnerved because I know them. My wife's family is the entire thing. And they always think, ain't no one getting hurt today. And I'm going to really take this city boy for a ride. And I got out there. There were no white people. It was all Mexican rednecks. And I was like, what the fuck? And man, I was like, same fucking same. I had this dude on my thing. He was like, he was as fat as I was. We were both pretty big at the time. And he was like, we get stuck in the mud and he'd be like, get in there.

get in I was fucking covered in mud and dude and we had but I was like there is not one white they're all Mexican rednecks really where were you I want to say like Katy Texas oh yeah yeah you was in Crosby yeah I forget you can find it online I'm sure but there was like

Parts of Texas, man, I think... Is El Paso the one right on the border? Yes. El Paso is not really Texas. It's really kind of just a little bit more Mexico. A little more. Oh, no, you could be at a house. I'll be on the roof of a house and just be looking at Mexico. Oh, yeah, in El Paso? For sure. I'll fuck with El Paso, too. Doing stand-up there is a blast. Yeah, yeah, it's a really fun stand-up. And then, you know, you're in El Paso, and you're like...

You can spend most of the day not speaking English to anybody. Yeah. It's like a Mexican town. Y'all ever been to the Valley? I don't even know what that is. The 956 of Texas? Like Laredo, McAllen, Pharr, and all that? I don't know. Maybe done a show. I've done so many smaller town shows in Texas. I may have been there. Mercedes, West Lago. Maybe done Laredo. West Lago. There you go.

I don't know. I grew up over there, too. It's kind of like El Paso, though. Really? Yeah, fuck yeah. I really dig a border town like that. So my tio Chuy used to take us to Mexico, and they would take us to these bars and shit. And I remember there was this dude, and he was, I don't know if he was simple-minded or what the fuck he was, but he was some thought off. Yeah. And he couldn't do much.

But he would, you know those old school boom radios with the two speakers and the fucking knobs and shit? He would bust that bitch down into screws and fucking springs and then put it back together. Really? Yeah. That's all he could do though. All right. What's the best Mexican name? Chewie's pretty fucking great. Chico. Chico? I like Guillermo. Guillermo? Guillermo.

I love that. There was a guy that rushed our fraternity when we were in college. And they're like, ladies and gentlemen, this guy's badass. His name is Guillermo. And everyone's like, oh.

And then a fucking Cuban guy in the back goes, his name's Willie. I go, what? He goes, it's Willie, just so we're all clear. That's what it is in English? Yeah, it's Willie. Sounds like a fucking warrior in Spanish. Sounds like a fucking guy with an uncircumcised cock who knows how to cum. And then you meet Chili Willie and you're like, what's up, buddy? Damn, bro, I ain't gonna lie, so you're a bad motherfucker and you're tough, bro.

You've been doing this for a while. You fucked me up with that shit. I think that's cool as fuck, bro. Get him, bro. Chewy's a badass name. A lot of Ernie's. Yeah, but you, though. Like, you in general. What? Like, you're just a bad motherfucker. Those videos you were showing me earlier? That shit's cool, bro. I was hungry for fame and money. I was a fucking idiot. It worked, bro. Dude, I've done some stuff.

Like, I was the first person to jump off Stratosphere. What is Stratosphere? In Vegas, you know, the big spear, the big, like... Mm-mm. It's the tallest building in...

east west of the mississippi nice and so it's like a 1100 feet i think up well the crazier thing is that you hate heights i hate heights that's really wild i got this show called birth conqueror where i would do crazy like jumped off stratosphere did a rope swing of like in new zealand like 500 foot free fall jumped off the tall stadium in africa crazy but the whole thing was i fucking hated it yeah and it was like and i'm really regular so like i i

I'm not like a thrill seeker. So it was... Man, you know it's a big fucking fear of mine, but I've been wanting to do it. You know who Brian Gaffey is? He's in the industry with this music shit. I didn't think so. Anyways, he be fucking instructing scuba diving. And I want to do it so bad, but I want to do it because it's one of my biggest fears. Yeah. The unknown of the water...

You know what I'm saying? I don't know, but I think there's aliens in the water. They are. They're called octopus. Yeah, right? Wait, why won't you eat octopus? Hold on. Did Rogan show you the picture of the octopus with the claws on it? No, show me. There's an octopus with claws on it. Either that or he dreamt it. Okay. Why don't you eat it?

Because I really do think it's a life form. Oh, you were saying that earlier. I think it's a different life form. You think it's a different life form? Yeah. Have you ever seen the way octopuses can change into the rock? Yeah, yeah. I mean, octopuses, I dreamed it. Is it octopuses or octopus? Octopus with claws.

Do not have claws. Oh, fuck. He dreamt it. I must have dreamt it. I was an octopus with crab claws. Anyway, scuba diving is interesting. Have you ever scuba dived? I've never scuba dived. So scuba diving. I've only snorkeled. You take the lesson. You do it in a pool. Very fun. Very fun. Very, I think I got this. And then you do an open water dive and.

And you have a moment where you... Maybe the weather isn't perfect. Maybe it isn't beautiful. Maybe it's a little way... But scuba divers don't give a fuck. They're underwater. But if you're a regular person, you're like, but it's raining. And there's thunder and lightning. And they're like, we'll be fine. We're going to be 40 feet below. And you're like, but it's getting dark. And they're like, that's when it's the best. And you're like, hold on. And then there's a moment where you hit your BC and you start to sink. And you have to realize...

Am I excited for the stuff down there or the stuff I love, is it all up here? Yeah. Because I got to pick one. And man, that is when panic sets in, when you start sinking. For the average person, just dropping and remembering to breathe. And it's dark. And being cool. And it gets dark and dark and then cold and it changes.

And then it's pitch black and you're just going down and you're waiting for an animal to come by you and you don't say anything. And you're looking for the ship that they tell you, you'll see the mast at 60 feet. And you're like, I don't see shit. I don't see shit. I don't see shit. I don't see shit. I see bubbles. I don't see shit. And then all of a sudden a ship and you realize this ship is

The day those guys left it was the worst day of their life. Yeah. And now I'm going to go check out someone's biggest tragedy. The day they were like, fuck it, I love my kids. I want to just live. And now I'm down there going, ooh.

Dude. Spooky. And then you see a fish come around the corner and the fish is like, what the fuck are you doing here? I don't know. Do you like it though? I have liked it. I went swimming with whale sharks in Japan. Man, I want to, bro, but I feel like I watch too many movies. No, no, no. This is what you do. You got to be very specific with what you want. Set your intention to the dive instructor and say, I don't want to go deeper than 20 feet.

That way you're never going to run into the problem of getting the bends. You can go around, do it when you're in like the Bahamas and just shallow scuba diving. It's not the thing that people fucking love. People want to go down 90 feet. They want to go down 130 feet. That's where atmospheres change. That's where all of a sudden it's a different world. That's where the aliens are. Yeah, that's where the aliens are. Bro, I seen a video of this dude. He was in the water and he was...

His hands were like, you know, on the fucking floor and something came out the sand and wrapped around his hand. And it looked like that. You seen Life? Yeah. Yeah. It looked like the fucking alien from Life. Remember how it grabbed the old black dude's hand? Mm-hmm. It looked just like that. And, you know, I don't know if it was real or not, but. There's some really fucking weird, you know, every year they. Bro, there's fish out there that create light.

Every year they discover new species at a different depth, and every time you see them, you're like, that looks like it's from— It's a fucking anything. Yeah, it definitely looks like it's from— You have to go scuba diving. You have to go scuba diving and film it. I'm only doing it to conquer it. You can get certified at a local YMCA. They teach it at places like that. Or what you can do is indefinitely in the Bahamas—I've done this in the Bahamas—

You can get a day certification where you go into the pool and they teach you what you kind of need to know. And then you'll swim. An instructor will be by you, which is great. You want that anyway. And you can go scuba diving. You can go scuba diving. It's shallow scuba dive, but it's fun. You've seen that pool where they teach you how to scuba dive? It's like the deepest pool in the world. Yes.

You know, it's like a cylinder going down. I want to do that. That's it. Just because I know there's nothing in there. Well, I hope not. How deep is it? It's deep enough to look down and fucking have a panic attack. Really? Pull up the deepest pool in the world. I know exactly what you're talking about. And you see the dude's free dive? Yeah. And free dive down in it. Hey, but it's some cool shit, though. Because like I say, you're going down like this, but there's different shit on the walls you could do. It's in Dubai? This is in Dubai. Wow. Look at that. Click it. How deep do you think?

Look at that. Holy fuck. What? 148 feet? That's crazy. Dubai, man, they just got crazy money. Yeah, it's stupid, man. I bet you'd kill in Dubai. You think so? Fuck yes.

I had to try. What you do is you put on the fucking whole chic outfit, right? And like they don't see any of the tats and you put on the fucking hat and then you just rip it off and everyone's like, oh, shit. What the fuck is this dude? Surprise. Damn. Bro. I don't know though, bro, because I'd be in the airport like, I'd be trying to be incognito and then they just always know it's me. Yeah. It's like, oh, I know that ass anywhere. Yeah.

That's wild, dude. That pool is insane. Nah, that shit's sick, bro. And you know what's fucking crazy? As a kid, I loved Poseidon. I loved the water. I loved everything about the water. Then I got older and started watching movies. Yeah, it starts to fuck with you. Well, the deep ocean is a terrifying place, man. I also think it's the most beautiful place on earth. Both, yeah. It's both, though. Ocean or mountains? If you had to retire right now and you had to pick one, ocean or mountains? I like mountains more. I'm oceans.

My wife will pick mountains. My wife will pick ocean. I would want to, but like I said, that fear. I don't like sharks either.

I don't do that shit. Can I tell you? What? You have to swim with sharks. Do you remember when you were a kid? I have to. Pull up. I did it in the Keys. Oh, you can do it in the Keys out of the cage. Just bring them up to you. You saw the one where the fucking shark went in the cage? Yeah. See, nah. Hell no. No, we did North Shore. It's North Shore Shark Adventure in Haleiwa in Hawaii. Wow.

And they bring you out, and they have Galapagos sharks. There's probably 40 around the cage. Just see photo. And you're sitting in a cage, and I'll tell you, it's like going to church and getting it. It's like, remember when you thought you got a chick pregnant, and you went to church, and you were like, God, just help me out this one time. Oh, I was going to say this earlier, but we got talking about something else, but it made me think of it when you said that. I remember I was in sixth grade, this girl sucked my dick, and I thought I got her pregnant. Yeah. Yeah.

Which grade? Sixth grade. Just some kid shit, you know? It sucked me up. I thought the bitch was pregnant. I remember when I was in sixth grade. That was so far from my sixth grade year. I can't even tell you. I remember the first blowjob I got, she was sucking. And I was like, I think you're doing it wrong. And I was like, never mind. I like your way better. Oh, fuck. It's a blowjob. You're supposed to be blowing into it. I know a lot of them. My dad, like I said, he went to prison. And when he came out...

He had used my computer and it came back with every virus under the sun.

And fucking, you know, like, bro, grandma and grandson, neighbor pounds fucking neighbor while, you know, husband's at work. Just stupid shit. So I just was, you know, and like I said, man, you know, I was being a kid walking in on my mama fucking, you know what I'm saying? Listening to my dad fuck, you know, like, yeah, I've just always been around it. So. Is it like, I was saying to Pete today, I go, it's got to be tough being like a rapper.

And then having to always be tough and always be, like, on point and be, like, manly. Like, I'm a bitch. No, I dig that. But, like, you ain't got to be that tough. Like, there's different type of tough. Like, yeah, go fucking fight that bull. It's tough. You know what I'm saying? It's some cool shit. But, like, my dad always, like, growing up, like, tough guys get hurt. They're the first ones to get hurt.

You know what I'm saying? You ain't got to be a tough guy. Looking for a fight all the time. Be a fucking smart guy. Yeah. Yeah. I was the dude when we were in college and guys were like, hey, we're about to get in a fight. You got my back? I'd be like, oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure. And then I'd just walk out. Oh, shit. You ain't shit. Good luck, Chadwick. You ain't shit. Boy, he looking mad. What the fuck is... I had... I think I still have one of the most punchable faces in every fight we ever... Well, your beard got trimmed today. I like it. Shut up.

What? I over trimmed my beard in an accident. I had the ones on. I went, oh, motherfucker. Yeah, I like it. It looks good. Yeah, I look very cherubic. It's nice. How many fights have you been in in your life? A lot.

Let's I don't know rephrase that how many times I've been beaten up Fuck like I mean I fights when you decide you're gonna fight out also right damn So these motherfuckers would be coming up to you. Oh buddy. I will I also happen a long time I haven't gotten punched in the last fight fight I got into At the Starbucks with the guy that looked like Louis CK why? This is the worst

I was trying to get my bathing suit. It was when we were doing Reality Bites Back, and my sisters lived above the Starbucks. So I pulled... I just want my fucking bathing suit. How long ago was this? Hold on. That's exactly what I said. I double parked, and he got angry. He was in a teal BMW, and he was like... And then as I pulled out, he pulls in, and then I'm at the light.

And he's like talking shit to me. And I thought it was Louis CK. So I was like, hey, it's Louis CK. So I rolled down my window and I'm like, that's not Louis CK. I go, and he's really upset. I turned on my radio and he goes, we're not a park fucking asshole. And I said to him, I was just getting my bathing suit. And then he was like, huh? And then I was like, and then I put it in park.

I said, you talk like a tough guy, act like a tough guy. Oh, fuck. And I got out of the car. So you fully, you fully like, come here. Yeah. Yeah. And then everyone, and do you know who, do you know who, and I can't say he was there, but do you know who was at that Starbucks every day, every day at that time was Freddie Roach.

The boxing instructor. Yeah, yeah. He was always at that Starbucks. I don't know if he was there that day. This is the Valley one? No, this is on Detroit Street and Wilshire. Watch your ass fight. He's like, fuck. Wait, so...

Does he get out of the car too? No, he's already out of the car. He's walking into Starbucks. And I put my car in park and I got out of the car. I was like, what are you going to do? And he was sitting there. I go, come on. And then I walked around to the other side of the car. I was like, let's go. What are we going to do now? And the guy just walked into Starbucks. I was like, that's what I fucking thought. And then I got in my car and I was like, why am I doing that? Yeah, I was going to say, you were on one, fool. No, I had that. I don't have that anymore. That is not in me anywhere at all. But there was a lot of times in college that like...

Oh, this was a while ago. This was a long time ago. This was when, yeah. I don't have any, like, inclination to punch anyone. Yeah. And I don't want to be hit at all. My dad, he fucking, I remember seeing people get in my dad's face, and he'd be like, hey, roll up a joint, get some shots over here, you tripping.

Like, be my friend. Really? Yeah. He was able to de-escalate things. Yeah. Now he's like, he's just fucking walking up to you and he's like, what the fuck you gonna do? I've seen him be fucked up, grab somebody's drink, drink it, and sat it down and looked at him.

You know what I'm saying? That's a pretty hard move. Yeah. No, my dad, he's a bully now. Was he... Wait, he got more bullyish as he got older? Yeah. As he got older, he just... He's like, fuck this shit. That's hilarious. And you guys jacked, right? Oh, bro. Fuck it. He's always been like that. The way Rogan, like, he was just always in shape. That's how my dad was. Yeah. My dad, he would... Bro, so...

He would have all the strip clubs jumping. And, you know, the owners loved my dad. The bitches loved my dad. So he would bring the house party home every fucking night, Monday through Sunday. What? And I'm living with him in the seventh grade. And he would wake me up 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning. Son, you ready to get down there and whoop ass?

What the fuck you talking about? And he would have a house full of women and a few dudes there. And those dudes are there because he met them at the club. And he's like, oh, you rap? Man, watch this. Come on. And he'd bring them home. And he'd fucking have me rap out of these grown-ass men. And I'd eat them alive. And then one of his hoes would take me to school. Or I'd take the city bus. I mean, to a taxi, not the city bus. That is...

such a crazy upbringing story. Yeah, it was crazy. I mean, it was fun. It was cool though. Sometimes I wouldn't even go to school. He'd be like, son, make me oatmeal. I'd go down there and make him some oatmeal, come up, he's fucking, and we'd fall asleep all day. I'd fucking wake up, come out of my room, the oatmeal's still sitting there. My story is like, one time I got to watch a rated R movie that year.

Like, that's the craziest shit that happened to me in seventh grade. There was no strippers and fucking rapping. Like, that's wild, dude. But my parents were kids when they had me. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I dig it.

So when's Recess come out? August. I want to drop it in August. Have you recorded everything already? Yeah, it's all done. It's all done. That's what I'm saying. I got to send it to you. I want you to listen to it. I'd love to. I'd love to. This is like 17 tracks on there. Nice. Wow. And do you have, when you make an album, it seems like everyone's got guests on it. Yeah. Nah, yeah. I got some features on there. Features, I'm sorry. Features.

Yeah, I love my Texas artists, though. I just love working with the Texas artists. I feel like the Power Rangers whenever we fucking hang together, you know? But I got Denzel on there. He's not from Texas, but Denzel is one of my favorite features on there. Of course, Wayne is on there.

What's it like working with Wayne? I wasn't with him in the studio. Oh, you weren't? No, I wasn't, but it was cool as fuck, you know, having, because like, bro, if you're rapping from 95 to now, you or your favorite rapper was influenced by Wayne. Oh, 100%. Yeah. 1,000%. I mean, that guy's fucking amazing. Bro, for like 10 years straight, he got my whole childhood in a headlock. Yeah. Drake, he brought out Drake. What the fuck? Yeah. Drake's one of the greatest, you know? Yeah. And then I'm going to also say this. Wayne considered the greatest of all time.

Wayne? Right? Yeah. And he's reciting Big Mo lyrics. He's sipping drank.

That's all Texas. You know, you got Drake coming from Canada talking about, oh, Houston Strippers, candy paint switching colors in the light. I'm in love with syrup. Like, that's all Texas shit. That's all Texas shit. You know, like, for the longest, Texas has been the shit. Nobody just wanted to give us our flowers, and now you got people like Big X to plug in. Yeah. You know, me, and I don't know. I guess that's what it took to get the recognition. Yeah. But it's like, we've been the shit. Is it possible...

that you will be the biggest Mexican rapper in history. Who's got the title right now? I don't know. There's some hard Mexican rappers, though. Yeah. But I fuck that. I'm just going to go down in general hard. Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm shitting on a lot of the whites. I'm shitting on a lot of the blacks. I'm shitting on a lot of races that are rapping. Oh, I thought that was like Thomas' act.

Oh, fuck. Have you seen movie 43? No. Fuck. What's homeboy's name? Movie 43, I was just showing you the scene where he was giving them the speech. Yeah, Terrence Howard. But there's the white dude. Fuck, man. Find it, someone that works for me. The white dude, right? From the bear? Yes. Cool as fuck, bro. Anyways, there's a skit in this movie where the girl was like, I love you. I want to get serious with you.

And he was like, okay, let's do it. She was like, I just need you to do something for me. And he was like, what? Anything, babe. I love you. She was like, I want you to poop on me. Cubs right there. Dennis. Dennis Quaid. Yeah. Anyway, she was like, I want you to poop on me. And he was like, what the fuck? He was like, all right. He was in this fucking movie. Everybody. Everyone's in this fucking movie. Please watch it.

I will now. Justin Long. All of them, bro. All the greats. Shout out Justin Long. I would love to smoke and meet you, dog. I think that's attainable. Apparently he's a really cool dude and he just fucking hangs. I love Justin. Movie 43. You know who you got to get? Go take a piss. You know who you got to rap with? It's Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy? Do you know Tom Hardy? Yeah, he raps. Pull up Tom Hardy rapping.

Tom Hardy, apparently, his whole thing was he was going to be a rapper first. What? Yeah. But I think he does that like... Are you fucking cheating me? Yeah, Tom Hardy's a rapper. You know who's the hardest rapper that's not a rapper? Who? Shia LaBeouf.

I heard that. He's the fucking nastiest, dog. I was talking to Yellow Wolf, and he was trying to get him on a song, and he was like, nah, man, it's just a hobby. Did you ever see him on Sway? Shut the fuck up! Here, put headsets on. You can hear it. There are headsets right next to you. What the fuck? Fucking, what the fuck? Vino.

Hey guys.

Yeah, to the beginning. Is he talking about God? I don't know.

He's an amazing actor. What do you think about British hip-hop?

I don't know. I'm not shitting on British hip-hop. Yeah. I love, what's my favorite guy? Pounzy? I don't know. Pounzy? I don't know enough to answer that. Yeah. But I'm going to tell you what I do know, and I'm not too much of a fan of it. Yeah. From what I do know. I mean, you know, of course I know Central C. Yeah. You know what I'm saying, but...

Other than that, I ain't really just did my homework into it. I'm not a big fan of it. There's some of it. I mean, I like all rap. I feel like what's interesting to me is just the same way that like

Atlanta has its sound. Memphis has its sound. You can know where they're from. Yeah, and then I think that Britain's just a different place that just has one sound. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I've always said this. It blew my mind when I moved from, because I listened to hip-hop growing up. I was in Florida. Florida, everything was about having a car with bass. A dunk. Yeah. Yeah, y'all had dunks. Well, I had a Volkswagen Fox, but I had bass in it. And when I moved to New York-

I was listening to Wu-Tang Clan and I was like, there's no bass in this. Yeah, it's all boom bap. But it's all because everyone's got headsets on. That's how they take in their hip hop. And I was like, oh shit. And so one of my favorite rappers ever, two duos, is MJG and 8-Ball. What? Fucking love them.

That's sick. I didn't know that. When my daughters were little girls, I used to play alcohol, pussy, and weed all the time in the car. That's cool. Yeah. That's hard as fuck. MJZ, Orange Mound, Tennessee. Yeah. Swab house. Dude, I fucking, that was like my favorite. Yeah. Oh. I love that East Coast rap, though. Yeah? Hell yeah. Yeah. I'm big. Tom's really into hip hop. I mean, that era, too, is like, you know, everything from like,

Rock him, Kane, Gangstar. I'm going to say Busta, 50, and Big L. Yeah, Big L. For the reason why I'm dirty, fast, and player. Those three. Yes. Yeah. And the East Coast, as a student of the game, the East Coast is what made me an animal.

I'm from the South, so I'm forever going to have that swagger and that cool shit. You know what I'm saying? But as far as being complex, shit, the East Coast made it. They made it, yeah. Yeah, for sure. Bro, the way they would manipulate words to rhyme but still make sense. You know what I'm saying? Being able to rhyme the whole bar and not just the last word. You know what I'm saying? That shit was sick. Some of those guys have inimitable styles. There was a time where you...

you could and then the way they're animated yeah they're animated but like you know it's so like it's so hard to emulate Busta's style because it's so specifically him and it's complicated yeah it's complicated like it's not easy to to hear it and like say it back you have that too where I feel like it's complicated it's not you're not easy guy to mimic thank you you know which is I think a huge compliment yeah but like yeah I feel like Busta was one of the ones where you're like

Fucking nasty. Did you ever jam the Worldwide Choppers? No. Tech N9ne. It was Tech N9ne, Busta, fucking Twista. Had all the fastest rappers on there. Yellow Wolf was on that bitch. Yeah. I remember jamming it. Crazy little bitch.

I love that we're both fucking barefoot. Can I tell you, I knew you were my guy when you rolled into my house barefoot. It's such a Burt move. I am fucking barefoot. I'm a barefoot motherfucker. You can do that? Oh, nice. It's wild. Hey, I opened a soda can at Mike Boosie's house on my toe. You can do a soda can? In Orlando? Yeah. Are you shitting me? Yeah. Are you serious? Yeah. We need to go. Oh, we do. Yeah.

That's where you can shoot some guns and some gators. Oh, yeah, in the fan boat? Yeah, bro. That shit is sick, bro. Gator hunting is crazy down there. Yeah. The first place I ever had gator was Orlando. I didn't think that was legal doing it there. Oh, yeah, they do it. I mean, you can go on the 520 and stop on the way to the airport and get fresh caught gator. Nah, it's sick as fuck. Amazing. The best is all the people catching pythons.

Fuck that. You know what? I want to hunt iguana. You can. They're fucking invasive. Yeah, that's what they were telling me out there. I want to do that bad. I think we have some hunting trips planned, guys. I think we do. We do, bro. We got to wrap. We got to get to that thing. We got a bottle signing. We got to go sign bottles of our vodka. Do you drink? Yes. Well, we'll get some vodka for you. Do you like vodka? Yeah.

I like tequila. Okay. That clear shit get me mean. Okay, can I tell you, this is how the liquor business works. Let me tell you. I was talking to a beer guy, and I said something, and I said something like...

I said, you know, I think he worked for like Corona. And I was like, you know who you should get? A really great comedian. I don't know if you know him. Steve Trevino from, he's in Texas, but he's a Mexican guy. I go, he's really big. He's a beer drinker. You should get him. And this guy said to me, man, man.

We already got the Mexicans. I need a white like you. I said, really? He goes, yeah, man, you go against brand. So if I'm selling tequila, I don't try to get a Mexican guy to sponsor my tequila. I need a white guy like George Clooney to sell tequila to whites. Tommy, what we need.

Tequila? Is a Mexican to sell our vodka. Oh, I got you. I got you. If we can break into the Mexican culture and just go, hey, it's not a tequila night. Come on. It's a vodka night. Come on. Yeah. We could do that. We could do that. Are you looking for some liquor without the taste of tequila at all? What you chasing for, you guy? I use pickle juice. Oh, you do? Yeah, I've been pickled back that bad. You got to try this vodka. It's great vodka. You got it right now? I got it right now. Yeah.

Pull the bad boy out. Let's take a shot of vodka. Let me smell it. Can we get a Forrestus in here? I would like your taste. As an artist, you are a person who...

Picks what they wear, and I got to tell you, your style is unquestionable. Thank you. You design your albums. You fucking write your raps. Everything is yours. It's your thumbprint as an artist. I'd love to see this is our thumbprint. We picked everything from the label to the styling to every aspect of this bottle we handpicked.

Well, I already know I'm going to fuck with it because it's coming from your brain like that. I hope you like it. And then actually, I know this is going to sound like bullshit because it's what you have to say, but the truth is we had about 15 flavor profiles that we had to pick from, and me and him landed on the exact same two.

And then on those two, we tasted them a couple times, and we chose one independently. We didn't tell each other what we picked, and we picked the exact same taste. We've won how many contests in our— We're gold medal in, I think, three now. Damn, bitch. So it's legit. And all I have is bottles of this fucking vodka in this house, and I'm waiting going, where? How about where I keep all of them? Yeah.

I got two things. I saw 15 on the way in. There's 15? I don't know how. Is it Sandra? She just learned English, so she gets lost. All right. Hey, Sandra, ask someone if you're having a hard time. We need glasses, too. Good luck, Tom. I'm going to go need glasses and show my readers. Oh, these not ones? Today's Peter's last day. Oh, shit. All right, here we go. Sandra. Sandra.

Cool, we'll just drink out of our palms with our hands? Okay, good. Oh, nice. Oh, shit. I told him you just learned English. Thank you. Oh, shut the fuck up. She's the best actress in this entire fucking company. Do you like it here? Do you like America?

Nice. Nice. We did a read where she spoke in Vietnam because there's a lot of Vietnamese in Houston. Thank you. Okay. See, there's a lot of Vietnamese people. Corpus Christi, Texas? In Houston. A lot of Vietnamese people. Oh, is that Corpus Christi? Oh, yeah. By the way, this is distilled right outside of Houston. Let me see this. Oh, by the way, hey, hang on. Would you be interested in a tequila? Because I think we're going to... Yeah, yeah. Sick.

I love the whole bear thing, too. Yeah. Sucks you can't eat bear. You can. It's got mercury. Uh-oh. You gotta eat it slowly. Shots. All right, come on, man. Let's do this. Let's do this. Cheers, boys. Bottles of 10 out of 10, man. Hopefully it tastes good. Thanks for coming here today. Hey.

Congratulations on recess. I can't wait to hear it. Yeah, Project Recess. Congratulations on all your success. Man, thank you. You're a fun person to end up in my scroll. Whenever I see you, I get excited. You bring a smile to my face. Keep being you, man. Man, thank you, brother. Blessings, baby. Cheers, brother. So many more, cousin. Oh, I got to top your glass. Let's go. Here we go. Oh, what the fuck? Nice. Hey, that's a good review. Whoa. I'll take that.

Holy shit. Do it. It's a good way to start the day. This is dangerous. Yeah. Yeah. Holy fuck. This is sick shit, bro. I can take this? Absolutely. I bought it. Fuck yeah. We need to sell this shit.

I bet you say it better than I say it. Yeah, you want some fucking vodka? Come get it from the Mexican, dog. Porosos. For real. That bitch is bad, bro. I hate drinking. Yeah. I hate it. Yeah, me too. It has... What the fuck? That fucked me... Yeah, right? That fucked me up. I hate pussy. I hate drinking. I hate cake. I mean, french fries piss me off, too. CJ, please try this. Yeah.

Holy fuck. We got to wrap. Let's wrap. Thank you, guys. Again, boys, blessings. Y'all have a good one. May God be with everybody. We love you. Peace. Peace.