Table Talk w/ Anthony O’Neal
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Guys.

- I can't bless who you pretend to be or who you compare yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no edge entity, you need boundaries. What? I don't need your likes, I don't need your validation. All I need is a God fighting for me that says all things the same. Child.

So, you know that scripture about God doing a new thing. Well, something pretty revolutionary is happening at the Woman Evolved podcast. This month, we're inviting men into the chat to get their perspective on life and just all of the things, okay? Don't worry, it's still girl time. We're putting the men in the hot seat and it's always and forever a safe space for us to learn and grow. And what better way to revolutionize our perspective than to communicate with others that may be different from us?

I can't see you, but I feel like you're nodding in agreement. And I love this for us. Okay. Last year, I was on my book tour. I did an incredible interview with the homie Anthony O'Neill. Check it out on YouTube if you haven't seen it. We had so much fun. I knew we had to have a part two, but on my turf with my homegirls. Let's go.

Anthony O'Neill, true or false, you are afraid of what's going to happen on this podcast. You can tell me. You can tell me right now. Absolutely. Your boy is nervous. This is woman evolved. This is not brothers evolved. This is woman evolved. A man is going to evolve from the woman evolved podcast because we are better when we come together and exchange thoughts and ideas. Do you agree with that?

I agree. Sarah, I watch your podcast just so I can learn better. You know, when it comes to ladies, I'm like, yo, I'm rocking with Sarah just so I can learn. So listen, some of my answers, you may be shocked because I may just repeat what you would say because I've been watching your podcast. Okay, so I have a question for you. What is one thing

What stereotype, what's one belief that you held about women maybe growing up or for most of your life that you feel like you're beginning to shift or change as you are exposed to more women or do your own work and research by listening to the Woman Evolved podcast? She's starting off hot. Yeah, I think that...

To put myself out there now that I'm changing, that the definition of a woman sitting at home and not really doing nothing has evolved, has matured. That, listen, we are both—we may have different roles, but we're just as equally as important. So it's like we both are going to bring something to the table that may be different, right? But we're both just as equally important.

And I've always thought that a woman should just stay home. And, you know, the old school tradition of the Baptist, the Baptist way of growing up, that a woman can't lead, a woman can't do this, a woman can't do that. It's the man's responsibility. And as I'm evolving from listening to women evolve, I've learned that, no, absolutely not. You know, ladies can come to the table and lead. Ladies can come to the table, lead,

And then learn how to work together with their husbands. I've always thought strong ladies who are leaders can't really love their husbands because they come to the table with this mindset. But as I'm evolving, as I am maturing, as I've watched you grow over the last year since we've met and just seeing what you and your husband are doing, seeing what my parents are doing, I'm like, yeah, I need to I need to let that go.

I will tell you, when I first met PT, he told me that the hardest part of our marriage was going to be him knowing how to lead me and me learning to be led. Because when we did meet, I had bought my own home. I had a career path. I was taking care of myself. I had a vision for my future.

And the difficult part about marriage and relationships, especially these relationships that are like foundational to your identity, right? Like I'm not talking about someone you're dating, but when you begin to merge a life with someone, there is a level of collaboration where you do have to take on a person's strength, which may mean that you don't have to show up as strong in certain areas.

And that you also have to make up the difference with them. And I had to learn to allow my husband space to lead me. And it would be simple things that I never even thought of, like walking ahead of him in the hall. Like he would be like, if I open the door, you don't just take off, wait for me to get in front of you. And I was like, oh, let's go PT.

Yo, let me tell you something, Sarah, that PT taught me and you taught me. I don't remember where it was. I wasn't there, but I logged on to watch you do something online, right? And one thing I learned from PT was I've learned how he knows he's still the man. He's still the husband, right? And he lets you in.

You did something that was so small, but I was like, yo, son, when you got done preaching, PT came on stage. You ran to your man to embrace him, to hug him. And I was like, yo, son, she just ripped the house. But the first thing she did was she loved her husband. She loved her man.

She didn't go to the audience to love them. When he came on stage, she embraced her husband and he sat back and watched you win, watched you inspire. I was like, yo, okay, PT, let her win. Let your wife win. Set her up to where she can do what God has created her to do. Let her shine. But then also, ladies, learn how to make sure that your man knows he's still the love of your life, that he is still a partner of yours, right?

And watching y'all two, listening to women evolve, I was like, okay, yeah, I am evolving because I'm watching PT, who is a monster, right? Really step back and help his wife win. And then I watch you step back and I'm like, yo, okay. Yeah, so y'all keep evolving over there because y'all evolving all of us. It is. It's such a dance because in those moments—

I'm showing up strong for other people, but my husband is intimately aware of my own vulnerabilities and insecurities in that moment. And so when we get finished and it's like, okay, that message went over well, like we were able to like really allow God to flow through me in that instance. For me, running to him is like taking my cape off and saying,

Man, we did that. It's our celebration because we know exactly how much that moment costs. And it's difficult to be in partnership with someone who doesn't see your win as their win. And instead they see your win as competition or your win as another reason why they don't have worth or value. And I think the only way that a couple, especially a power couple,

can come together and see one another's strengths as equal benefits to one another is if they also know the cost of that strength, the weakness and the vulnerability connected to it. And that's where a lot of power couples end up having friction because I only want you to see my strength. I don't want you to see my vulnerability. Sarah. Sarah Jakes Roberts. I'm just saying. No, but that's real. It's because men, we've...

I think it's because, man, we get around each other and we don't really teach each other how to be vulnerable with each other. And so then when we get with our spouses, when we get with our partners, all we want to bring to the table is just strength. And then pretty much what we're doing is lying to ourselves. And we're lying to you all. And we're teaching our partners that our feelings don't really matter, that our weaknesses don't really matter. And I think

That's false. And that's something that I'm doing. I've embraced my vulnerability side, but I'll be honest. That is hard. It is hard to be vulnerable, especially with a woman.

Because let's be honest, when I am dating, most ladies are attracted to what they see. They're not attracted from the weakness, from the things God, he's still working with me on. So when I expose that, the very first thought I have is, are you going to judge me? You're going to run from me?

And so, but now I'm starting to do that just even with my team, you know. Just the other day, I was a little emotional because I moved to D.C. And I'm like, yo, I'm just, oh, this is weird. This is different. And I was like, yo, we never seen you soft before. I said, but we love it. And they felt like they can get closer to me as a team because now they see a side of me that I've never exposed before. And so now as I'm practicing it, I'm looking forward to finding that one that I could be like, yo, hey, I feel a little weak over here. I feel a little...

a little soft, a little vulnerable, but still be the man. Don't get it twisted. What is... You were doing so good. I was so proud of you. Sarah, well, hey, I still got to be the man. You can't be like, you know, you can be, you know, be vulnerable, but hey, listen...

Listen, I'm a man for a reason. Okay, listen. First of all, you've said a lot here. Let's break it down. I need to take notes. You've said a lot here. Let's start with number one. Okay, the idea of just showing strength in relationships, I think, is something that women can relate to as well. And the fear of, if I let you see this other side of me, will you judge me? Will you still see me the same way? I think that women can totally relate to that.

But you know what I find interesting is that when we show up in relationships and we only give our strength, we also become resentful because we feel like the person takes us for granted because they're only drawing from our strength and not looking out for us and protecting our energy, our emotions, our resources. But we never give off the energy that we even need those things protected because we're only showing up in our strength. And so I'm wondering...

Have you ever found yourself resentful with someone else for the lack of your vulnerability in putting up another version of yourself that says I'm not an unlimited resource of wisdom or joy or resources or whatever? Like I need my cup filled to absolutely say what?

Oh, Jesus, Sarah, this she's going deep. This is not no regular conversation. Sarah, absolutely, Sarah, I have, you know, and I think part of that is my fault because I didn't I didn't set the stage up front. I didn't come to the table up front saying, hey, here I am. But here's all of me. Yeah, I've led with yo, I'm this guy. I have this. I've done this. I've accomplished this.

But I've never led with the like, yo, but I'm still fearful about this. I'm still a little nervous about this. I still have some concerns over here. God is still working with me on this side. I did that one time, Sarah, and I won't say I regretted it because I learned how not to do it again. But I've also learned when I went to therapy, she said, hey, listen, you just did it with the wrong woman. That's it. Right. Don't stop doing it because the right woman will see that.

And she would do exactly what she was created to do to protect that, to nourish that, and to help move it forward. But she was like, but you got to accept that fact first. But Sarah, I mean, I think men in general, this is why I listen to PT, because PT just be so strong, but it may be breaking it down. It's like, I lead with my strength. I do not bring up my weaknesses until I know for a fact I can trust you with those weaknesses, right?

And I do that not just in relationships, but even with my team. Yeah. Even with my family. I cry alone. I cry with the woman who I pay to be my therapist to be quiet. I don't cry with someone who can eventually expose my tears. And I'm in this season to where I'm like, yo, I'm just going to start being emotional. If I feel it there, I'm just going to be there with the people who I can trust and give them the opportunity to

Take it.

and nourish it and protect it. And if they do something wrong with it, then I just know that's not the right person to be around because I'm getting old, Sarah. - Well, I already know that like your DMs are going to be flooded with a lot of, "I am that woman" when this podcast air because everyone is trying to shoot their shot. - No, no, no, Sarah. What they're going to do is they're going to go back to the last show when you was on my show. They'll be like, "Oh, that dude don't want no woman who got legacy. Nah, I don't want you." - They're going to unsend that DM.

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You know what? I love your therapist and that she's teaching you how to open up because I will tell you, PT and I have been married almost eight years and we still struggle with vulnerability in our marriage because it's not like you establish vulnerability and it's there forever because we have to learn to be vulnerable as our life changes. So who I was when we first met and what vulnerability was to me then has shifted and

I think there's this embedded fear of like, if you knew that I was struggling with this, like, could you accept it? Like, I'm going through a depression. Can I tell you that, that I think I'm depressed? No, it's work. That's why they say marriage is work. Cause it's like, you're constantly having to reintroduce yourself to someone in hopes that they will still keep the same worth and value and intimacy that you had to begin with. And I told PT,

PT likes to think out loud. I like to process and then share my thoughts. And he's like, it's like negotiating for me. Like we can go back and forth. We can say whatever we want to because when we get to the bottom line, it's the bottom line. And I'm like, but I don't want to go through all those changes. I would rather just share the bottom line. And I told him, I'm like, babe, when something happens that is really emotional for me, it's like a tornado hits this room of my heart and I have to close the door in order to show up.

And I feel like you're kicking the door open right now. And I'm trying to keep it guarded. And I can't keep it guarded if you keep poking at me. Like, I can't keep showing up. And he was like, let me in the room. I can help you clean the room. I can tell you what the damage is in the room. And I'm like, the room is closed, my man.

- That's a man, no, we want, but that's him trying to protect you though. - I know. - You know what I'm saying? That's him trying to get to his queen, get to his wife, get to his best thing and say, babe, let me help you. You know, I want the door back open and I know how to get it open.

But you're right. We as men, we have to be like, okay, let her just keep the door closed. But please believe we'll be on the other side of the door like, yo, hurry up. Or you got to learn to open your door. Teach me how to open the door while opening your own. See, this is my issue with y'all is that y'all want to put on y'all's cape, but y'all don't want to be rescued and you be over there drowning. Let's talk about black men and mental health. Hmm.

Yo, let's do it. Let's go there. Let's go there, Sarah. Let me tell you why men have a problem with that. Why I have a problem with that is because when I did it one time, she brought it up every single time we got into an argument. So when I let her come and rescue me emotionally, and then we got into another argument down the road, I was there when you went through this, and I did this for you, and I did that. And that breaks us. That puts us back in a corner. And I'm like, for example,

2000 when i was with um bishop mckissick right i got i was put in ebony magazine top 30 under 30 influential black men um in the spiritual world right in the youth world i came home to the young lady i was dating she was 11 years older than me sarah and when i came home to her i was emotional because i was shocked i was like yo and i was a little fearful a little like yo how is this going to like i was i was i was like yo happy but i was a little emotional you know what she told me she said

I expected that from you. So grow up. And I was like, yo, I led with my emotions. And then you come and you do this. So then moving forward, not saying it is right, Sarah. I already know you. I already know what you're thinking. I already know what you're thinking, Sarah. Don't cut me off and I ain't even started. I ain't even said nothing. I'm just saying, it's like, that's why, man. So now it was like when we tried to open the door to invite you in, you all took that door in.

and slammed it closed. - You all say she, say she took that door. - You're right. - Thank you. - I was just about to say that. I felt that in my spirit 'cause I was generalizing. So this particular young lady in my life shut that door. And so then now I know I need to open that door back up, right? But I'm a little nervous because I'm like, if I open that door back up, are you gonna walk in and help?

Or are you going to take that door and shut it again? And that's more so of the pride and the masculine side of men. Because we were created to protect, right? And so to have you all come in and do that side with us, it's a little weird. Yeah.

I already know what Sarah's about to say. Go ahead. - No, I'm not. No, no, no. I'm just hearing. I'm hearing you out because you know what I asked God to teach me when PT and I were like, we had probably been married a year or two.

And when a woman's about to be vulnerable, she says, I want to tell you something. And it's going to be hard for me. When a man is being vulnerable, now I'm using generalizations, cisgender relationships. Like I am making some assumptions here, but, you know, go with me. When a man's about to be vulnerable, it's already happened. Like your voice doesn't change. Let's go, Sarah. Let's go. Wow.

There's no introduction. It's just you're already here in vulnerable. And so a woman doesn't always know that she's dealing with your fears or something that cost you something to say because you just say it. And then we're just maybe fumbling with your heart because we didn't know how much it cost you to say what you said. What's the cash out? I'm sending you a love offer?

I'm like so serious right now. I went, I had, it's so small, but it wasn't small, but it was so small. Sarah, I'm a grown man. In December, I had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled. I've never been put to sleep. And the doc was like, we're going to put you to sleep. And I was like, no, no, no, you're not putting me to sleep because I want to wake up on earth, not in heaven. And I was nervous. And so...

I remember texting someone and I told her. And Sarah, she was like, I was expecting her to be like, oh, it's going to be okay. You're going to be all right. So I went through the whole surgery, came home.

And I was thinking something nice, right? I was thinking she's going to be nice. She's going to be sweet. And I was like, I woke up, texted her. She was like, oh, I was like, I'm in pain. This stuff is hurting. This is crucial. She said, well, dang, make sure you brush your teeth. Keep brushing your teeth. Keep flossing. And I was like, what? I was like,

I was being vulnerable. Where are you shopping? Like, where are you? It's not them, it's you. Where are you shopping? Who are you talking to? I wasn't shopping. I wasn't shopping. This is just a homie, right? And she was a homie and I'm like,

yeah, you're going to stay single. Because I was expecting you to be like, yo, man, do you need anything? Are you okay? But she was like, yeah, man, dang, you best. Well, just keep brushing your teeth, keep flossing so you won't have this problem again. And I'm like, dang. And so here's the thing. This was so awkward to me. My dad came with me because, you know, you can't drive home after you go to sleep. And I told my dad that and the softest person, the sweetest person in my life during that time was my father. And I was like, dang, how come

How come I can't find a woman

That I could be that vulnerable with, that soft with. But also my therapist told me, Anthony, you're the problem. Because you lead with strength. You lead with all of your accomplishments. And you don't lead with Anthony Bernard O'Neal Jr. And so that is something I'm starting to do now. I'm Anthony Bernard. I'm not A.O., what people call me. I'm Anthony Bernard. And I want you to get to know that guy. That guy who is a little kid, loves to laugh, loves to...

you know, travel and just go jump in the pool like he's 15 years old, who loves to read books. He's just become a little crazy nerd. And in the middle of nowhere, I would just scream in the middle of my house like a little kid. And I want my woman to understand that because for the most part, I am always on. I'm always serving people. I'm always helping people.

And so I want the woman to be like, "Yo, Sarah, I still sleep with my door locked and a little nightlight outside of my door." As a grown man, I said it on the Women Evolve show. I don't know why I just said that. Vulnerability. This is a safe space. Yo, listen. So I'm like, I want my wife to be able to say, "All right, cool." It's not that I'm fearful of dark. I'm just fearful of someone breaking into my house and I don't know where they are. I can't see them.

I want to be vulnerable like that with her. But I do know it starts with me. I can't blame it on her. I have to lead with vulnerability somewhat for her to see that I want to be vulnerable. I was going to ask you, did you have a good childhood, like a healthy childhood? I had a very good healthy childhood, but I did not. Because my mama watches your show all the time. Let me say this correctly because I don't want to get in no trouble with my mama. I didn't see...

My mom was the strong one. My mom was the one who worked three to four jobs. I didn't really see love between my parents. I didn't see my parents, as far as in expressing love. I know they love each other. I didn't see them being vulnerable with each other. I didn't see, yeah, I didn't really see them holding hands, Sarah. I just saw my mom and dad working to provide. And so growing up, I was like, all right, cool. I need to work. She needs to work. We need to provide.

but I didn't really see each side being vulnerable. - My bonus son, Isaiah, told me one day when I was driving him to school, he said that when his parents were married, that he always saw them as mother and father, but it wasn't until his dad and I got married that he saw husband and wife. And it's just crazy how our experiences really shape you

how we define relationships. That's why I asked that question because I just wondered, has that been modeled for you? My parents were really loving growing up, but because they both came from homes where there was abuse, they never argued in front of us. They never had any conflict. They just would sweep things under the rug, it'll blow over, whatever, and then we'll dance around in the kitchen and be fine. And so I've had to learn to...

to express myself when it comes to conflict instead of letting there be this divide that can create bitterness and so we're all like learning and unlearning what we've been exposed to so i think it's great that you're doing the work yeah no i have to and that's something me and my i like how you said bonus son my other father so i have two stepfathers i have two step parents and two biological parents and both i love all four of them equally right but my father

I get my strength side. I get my never show weakness side from my mom's husband, my other father. He never, never, never showed emotion. Never, never. When he was nervous, we never saw it. Everything was, it's going to be all right. Let's get it done. They never argued in front of us. Sarah,

I'll be honest, I don't even know how my sister and my brother got in life because I never seen them like love each other. You know what I'm saying? Like they never snuck off to like it was it was just straight less work. And that's it. And I'm like, wow. And so I've learned a lot of great things from my family. But then I also learned a lot of things that, you know, I just I don't want to bring that into my marriage. Yeah. Yeah.

One thing I love about Woman Evolve is the community and safe space we've built with one another. I receive countless messages with personal stories ranging from experiences with anxiety and depression to advice on how to settle family conflicts or work through self-esteem issues. I don't have all the answers, but I refuse to leave y'all hanging. Your mental health is too important to me. I

I want you to start living a happier life today with assistance from BetterHelp. As a listener of the Woman Evolved podcast, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting betterhelp.com slash evolve. A safe and private online environment, BetterHelp assesses your needs before matching you with one of their licensed professional therapists. It's also free and easy to change your counselor if you need to in the future.

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Again, that's betterhelp.com slash evolve. Okay, I have an advice question for us because I don't want to run out of time and I know you're going to have something to say. Are you ready?

I think so. I'm from the Caribbean. I've been listening to your podcast and sermons for a while now, and I'm thankful for having such a great woman breathing life into my faith. I've been a Christian for about four years now since turning 19. For the most part, it's been really familiar to me. I say familiar because from a very young age, I've always been different. I looked at the world differently, and I never really did what the world expected of me.

Some part of me knew there was more to life than what I was experiencing. And I guess I didn't realize then the call of God on my life. But I'm just not sure where I am going or what I am doing, honestly. I know for a fact that I love God and I want to live my life glorifying Him. But I just don't know what that looks like, to be quite honest. I grew up singing and dancing for the most part out of the church and very recently in church.

But I'm not really sure where to go from here. I haven't figured out my purpose in this life. I would really appreciate some advice on how to serve God properly in my youth and how to deal with the loneliness and uncertainty in this season. And come on, Ebony, 30 under 30 youth inspirational leaders. I'm going to let you kick this off. How old is she, Sarah? 19. And she's, did I hear this correctly? She's with someone? Okay, she says thankful for four years now since turning 19. So she's probably 23 now.

And did I hear she's dating someone already? No. Okay, go, go, go, go. Great, great, great. Yes. Yes. Hallelujah. Amen. Yes. Amen.

Yeah, it's simple for me, Sarah. You know, I think one of the things that I'm really teaching on right now when it comes to like my tribe is let's focus on the vision. Write your vision for your life, because here's what I learned. When you have a clear vision, it sets you up for alignment. And it's an easy yes or it's an easy no. So when you have a clear vision for your life and you really understand where God is taking you in life, where how he is shifting you, where where is he? What's your assignment?

then everything else is real easy. You could be like, yeah, I'm going to do this. Or yes, you could be in my life. Or yes, I can be in your life. Or no. And the no is so easy because it's like, hey, it doesn't align with the vision God has given me. And so what I would recommend to this young lady is,

is to really sit back, right? Cut off all your lights, cut off all of your, cut off all the social media, get off social media for a while and really just get before the Lord and just really say, God, I am in a place of, I am lonely. I desire whatever you desire, whether that's friendships, relationships, networking with other like-minded people, whatever that is, just be honest and vulnerable with God, but tell God, I need a clear vision. Mm-hmm.

What is my purpose on this earth? Why did you birth me? What do you want me to do? And then when he gives you that, focus on that and surround yourself with people who will help you accomplish that vision. And people who are distracting you from that vision, who's taking you away from that vision, they don't align with where you're going and simply say no. And so just hearing that, I would definitely say spend some time

I had to do that. Just recently, I made a huge transfer in my own personal life. And I had to get off social media for a while. I had to stop dating for a while. When I want a wife, but God said, I need you to get back closer to me. Because now you need to redefine where you're going. You need to really better understand what's my purpose for you in your life. And Sarah, when I got that, man—

I would definitely say loneliness doesn't come up because I know that I'm on an assignment, but I'm still, I'm content with where I'm at because I know God is taking me somewhere and I know he'll bring me my wife and we'll put her in front of that path.

Even friendship too. Yeah, friendship. Because I think sometimes when we're lonely, we think the answer is relationship, but we are communal in nature. And so to be able to just have good friends is powerful. I think one of the most dangerous questions that we ask ourselves repeatedly is where do I go from here?

And I think that's a dangerous question to ask because we end up discrediting what here could be trying to teach us. And if every time we arrive, we're reaching for what's next, how can we ever come to a place of contentment? Perhaps a more powerful question to ask is what is here? What is here for me? Who am I in this here?

There is so much to discover about where you are right now to say that what do I do next? Where do I go from here? It's putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. The very nature of God is progression. The very nature of God is evolution. Your body is changing right now. The earth is moving right now. So if you get stuck here, you're still going to make progress. So the goal is to max out here so that when I get to there, I'm

all of who I need to be for that next stage of life. And so at 23, I don't know that I would be asking, where do I go from here? I think I would be discovering what here is trying to teach me about who I am. Steward this season well. That's it. Steward this season well. Every season, 23, 24, 25, wherever you are, you said it. The key word you said was maximize here. And then when you maximize here, when you steward this season well,

Then what you're doing is you're setting yourself up to be successful in the next season God has given you. And God is going to see, okay, I can trust her with this. I can trust him with this. All right.

Here's the next level. You can handle that well because you steward and you maximize every opportunity, every season, every relationship, everything in this season. Then go to the next. Sarah, you're teaching good, man. You're taking words out of my mouth. I'm so proud of you. Do you have any questions for me? Anything that I can answer or not and grilled you and gone to your childhood, your futurehood, your presenthood?

Oh, this is so good. Yeah, this is so good. What is one advice that you've learned over what the last few years you've been doing Woman Evolved that you would tell men? So you had your life and you have all these ladies that you've talked to. You've done all these conferences. If you can come back and give us one secret from all the single ladies out there, not the married brothers. God bless them. We're talking to the single brothers like me. What is one advice you would give us?

We're not looking for a hero, we're looking for a partner. If I could give men any piece of advice,

as it relates to what I've learned about women. It is that we don't need you to be our hero. We want you to be our partner. We don't need the business to be fully successful. We don't need you to be in the mansion. We don't need the fancy car. What we desire is partnership. We want to work with you to get to wherever we are headed. And the idea that you have to arrive and then you can come get us makes us feel like we're a trophy.

And what we really want to be are collaborators and partners here on earth. That's the one piece of advice I'd give a man. Yeah, so I need to bring you back on my show. Let's do it. Because that answer, I would say, where are you shopping with those ladies? Because those ladies are not the ladies that are coming to my show. Really? Oh, yeah. Because those ladies are who men want.

Right now, I'm having to convince men

to be men. Like, focus and live in your space because most ladies are saying, hey, if you're not coming with six figures, if you're not coming with at least a nice car, we don't want you. Oh, yeah. I don't know those. Let me rewind. Let me rewind. The ladies that my brothers are encountering within my tribe. Yeah, yeah. Because I'm going to say every day. So let me change that. Because what you just said is so refreshing. Like, I'm telling you, brothers in my tribe, you'll be like, yo, where...

Where are they? Because we're coming. I do think that, I think you're a strong personality. And I think that you likely attract very strong personalities to your brand and platform. And the only thing about a strong personality and a person who's not fully developed, male or female, is that that strength is seen as something that you need to compete with.

And so I can imagine that a lot of women approach your platform ready to tell you off, ready to prove that they got it together just like you got it together. And it doesn't necessarily breed vulnerability. And so I do think that balancing the strength with the vulnerability, with the growth like you're doing now, I think casts a larger net for people who can say, okay, I can be strong in this area too, but also need to talk to my therapist about what happened to me when I was a kid.

And I think that as we balance the narrative that hopefully we'll see more balanced relationships. But almost every woman I know has told me that she had a man who told her, I can't really date right now because I need to focus on my career. And she's like, I want to help you with your career. Like, I'm not asking you to not focus on your career. I just want to make sure you ate lunch. I just want to make sure that you feel like you have somewhere set that we can go to the movies and we can kick it, that you take a break and not put so much pressure on yourself. Like,

I've met a lot of women who want to support your dreams, but they also do want to receive in return, but they don't want to take away from your momentum. And I think that honoring that could be very powerful. That's good. Because what I heard you say was, it's not that she wants to get out there and

work 100 hours like you. It's like, hey, we want to partner. And how do we partner that's best for us? Yeah. And I really do like that. That's strong. All right. Yeah, Sarah, I'll reach out to your people. All right. I'll bring you back on the show. I would love that. And for those who are listening who want to reach into your DMs, we're going to put it in the show description.

Don't do that one. Don't do that one. You don't get me in trouble because, no, I'm serious, man. I'm looking forward to, I really am looking forward to marriage life. I'm like, man, this is good. I'm 38 this year and...

You know, I'm looking forward to it. You're going to be an incredible husband, an incredible father, if that's what you all desire. And you're still going to be an incredible leader and businessman because you're doing the work. So I have no doubt that when the right woman comes along, that you guys are going to inspire us all. Goodbye. Good night. Thank you so much. Thank you. Say that one more time. Say that one more time. I'm going to send you the clip.

Yo, listen, Sarah, you met me when I was 22? I'll never forget that trip. And I was like, oh my gosh, barely speaking anywhere. I think you were like one of the very first places I'd gone to speak. Listen, I've matured so much and grown so much since then. And literally, Sarah, I just got to say, what you're doing with Woman Evolve,

Absolutely amazing. I'm sitting there like, wow, I met Sarah when she just started. And look at what she has evolved into. And look how she's using her message and evolving all ladies. One request, though. Okay. One request. I asked this to your husband three years ago. Uh-oh. We need a version of the men involved with the involved. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Because I think that...

As you all are evolving, so do we need to evolve so we can best serve and best partner. So the next time you do a Women Evolve conference, you know, grow, get one evolved. Let's all evolve together. Special edition. Special edition. So we can all come out there and really just evolve and grow together. I love that. I think it'll be a great, great, great idea. Because I'm like, dang.

Sarah J. Roberts is true. And I'm just like, yeah, brothers, we want to get around Toray. Like, how do we get around that and get that kind of wisdom and grow? And man, listen, I'll be right there in the front row. Okay. Y'all hold it here first. If y'all don't see Anthony on the front row, then we have to charge him up because we're going to do it.

Listen, if you allow people at the Women Evolve, I mean, men at the Women Evolve conference, we would be there on the front row trying to learn. And listen, there are a lot of men who are really like, yo, we're not trying to come to Women Evolve to holler at the ladies. Let's be honest. We're coming there so we can get the wisdom and knowledge so that when we do see the woman, because we've been around other ladies, we've learned something and we can apply that wisdom and knowledge. So if you allow men...

I'll be sitting right. Actually, I won't even sit in the front row with you, Woman Evolve. I'll just be up in the balcony taking notes and I'll peace out. I'll just, you know, I hit you and Tori up and say, thank you so much. Learned a lot. I feel equipped now. Okay. I'm holding you to that. No, for real. Best of luck in your new city. We're praying for you.

No, thank you so much. Yeah, I need it. Yeah. DC is... It's different. I used to live in DC for, yeah, it's different. For real? Yeah. I lived in Virginia right outside of DC, but the, I mean, I was in DC all of the time. So the energy is, is different out there. I'm in PG County. Okay. You know what PG County stands for? Prince George. No, wait, what is it? Prince George. Right. But were you going to say it stands for something else? Yes, ma'am. What? What?

Pretty girls. Pretty girls. Yes. And let me tell you, Chocolate City, the DMV got some baddies. DMV is like one of the strongest woman evolved markets and them girls be coming out. They bad. Listen, Sarah, I went to the gym day one and I literally text my assistant. I said, hey, when will my gym equipment be here for the house? Yeah, can't do it. I,

No, I could not do it in the... My eyes, I'm going to be honest, my eyes work harder than my actual body. I said I can't work. Good night, rest well. I'll work it out from home. See you later. Take care of yourself. Love you, Sarah. Bye. Peace.

Okay, be honest. You enjoyed having Othella in the wee cave, didn't you? Thank you for trusting me on this one. I promise I'm not going to steer us wrong. Single ladies, look out for Anthony's new course, The Singles Blueprint, at the beginning of March. Anthony, thanks for kicking it with me and the delegation. Our mailbox for advice, questions, or questions

or to be my next co-host is always open. So shoot your shot at podcast at womanevolved.com. Also drop us a line to let us know what you enjoyed about this episode or previous episodes. We love hearing from you. Y'all take care. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed GT.

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