The Crown Connected to the Man w/ J. Bolin
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God can't bless who you pretend to be or who you compare yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no edge entity. You need boundaries. What? I don't need your likes. I don't need your validation. All I need is a God fighting for me that says all this. Child.

If you've ever taken a trip and been super tired, so tired that the moment you got into your airplane seat, you fell asleep and then woke up and realized you were already in the air, then you might know a little bit about how fast life can change. And before you know it, you're higher than you ever thought was possible. And in that moment, you have an option. You can choose to feel pressure, stress, and look for the nearest place to land or

Or you can take a deep breath and try to find the lesson in the elevation. That's what happens when we start reigning under pressure. It's when we make a decision to say, hey, I'm up here now. I'm going to keep this crown, but I'm also going to learn the lessons connected to this pressure. It's like the moment

when you realize like, hey, I'm in this relationship and this relationship is going to require that I take inventory of some of my toxic behaviors. Do I let the relationship go or do I find a way to reign under pressure? I'm building this family. I'm building this business. I'm here now. What do I do? This desire for us to reign under pressure is our ability to tap into what the Holy Spirit is saying in any given moment.

I have a friend here with me who knows all about reigning under pressure. He has seen his life change and evolve in a way that I don't even think that he could have calculated. Though he recognized he was putting in the work, it's a different thing to look up and see that the work actually worked. And so my friend, Stylish J. Bolin, I call him Jason Bolin. Mama call him Jason, mama call him Jason. Stylish J. Bolin is one of my friends

Great friends. He is someone who I admire, someone who I am inspired by. His creativity and innovation has already been all up and down your timeline, but his heart, his passion, the vulnerability behind being an entrepreneur and a family man is something that you may not have had access to. So today, let's get ready to go a little bit deeper and understand the crown connected to the man, Stylus J. Boland. Friend.

I have a question for you. How has your definition of pressure changed over the last 10 years? Like what did you used to think was high pressure versus what you think is high pressure now?

I think it's completely different. I will say, I feel like if there was a higher dose of medicine that I should be taking right now, it's definitely staying in my world a lot more than what I used to. I think there was like a baby word that I was in then, kind of in and out the Bible, in and out devotion, in and out my time with God. But now with the pressure of life, you got to literally stop

and take out time to be intentional about, you know, your day and about life and about your thoughts and gaining your thoughts. I don't know if I had as many thoughts run through my head as much as they're running through now. Yeah. Like denim is growing up. Denim is 15 now. And now I have a three-year-old. Yeah. So even what I'm, my,

the pressure of having children and being able to communicate with a three-year-old and then also trying to communicate and learn the language of a 15-year-old

I've never been here before. It's different. It's different. It's real different. 18 years with the wife. Right. We've never been here before. Yeah. So all of us pressure. Okay. So do you think that it is more pressure? Cause you share your story all the time. Do you think that it's more pressure grinding and trying to accomplish something or having achieved success and trying to determine what

What does growth look like from a place of success while still knowing that there's more that you want to accomplish?

Like, do you understand what I'm saying here? I feel you. I think that the grinding hustle becomes really old. Just over time, like it starts to become played out and you start to realize that you're like in this rat race of really getting nowhere. You know what I mean? Because you can have money one day and money's out the next day. And that's really what a lot of us are hustling and grinding for. It's money. You know what I mean? A little bit of fame, a little bit of money, a little bit of know my name. But at the end of the day, I think that

For myself, I have learned that get in and just get in the cycle of life because one minute you'll have it, the next minute you won't. One minute you'll be in one zone with God and whatever place he has you in, whatever career path. Like I was literally doing fashion styling when I first started out. And now things have completely opened up, you know, from...

television to creative direction and all these different journeys now are completely different from when they were then. And that grind and hustle have been in the fashion industry and an entrepreneur in the beginning. It's just like going, going, going, going, going. And now I have to learn how to go, stop, build, go, stop, build. The balance of that and creating an infrastructure that really works

Because I felt like I reached this peak of success at one time. Honestly, during the pandemic, money was really good. Things were going really good. Business had popped off. I was able to bring in and hire a crazy amount of people and things were thriving. After the pandemic, we took a really big hit with the company and not really knowing which way things should go.

And I really believe that it was because I was on the grind so much and just kind of like in this fast-paced, like moving world. Like, let me make the money. Let me get on my grind. Let me get to this place. And I got to this place and I got what I thought is what I needed. And then it wasn't standing on a solid foundation.

And so it was no real structure there. And so now I have the opportunity to really stand back and see in this season, where do I want to build? How fast do I want to move? How fast do I want to go? And I thank God for being able to strip and take all those things away from me because it kept me on the grind because it felt like that's

That good place I was in felt like if I continued the cycle of what I was doing, would help me to maintain what I actually had, which felt like a really good place to be in. But now I'm at a place where I don't have that anymore. And it's at a place where now I can really stand back and say how fast I really want to grind, how many days of the week do I really want to be going for my family. Wow.

How much time do I really want to invest into business? How much time I really want to invest into other things in life? And it helps me to balance things out. I never knew that I could get to a place where I could really see the light of day again on what my future can look like. And me being able to take control of

of what God lets me be in control of. You know what I mean? Like, obviously he has his plan and we never know what that thing is going to be sometimes. But I do have some vision

of what it's going to be like. But now I know how to handle that vision. So you're reinventing yourself. I am reinventing myself. That's why we're on a couch right now. Right. Look at that. That's why we're on a couch right now. This is a reinvention. I am reinventing myself. And I never thought about it being a reinvention, but it really is. I think I have the capacity and I have permission. Yeah.

from God to really reinvent myself. And I think the permission from God is God saying, "You're ready." - Wow. - Like, "Now you're ready. Now you're ready for what I really have for you." And in the beginning, like I said, I was just on the grind, on the move, going five, six days out of the week and just thought that maybe that one day at home would be just enough for me to come in, be daddy, be husband, and be all those things. And it's kind of like, God's like, "You gotta slow down, bruh."

You can't just keep being on the grind, being on the go and then supplying family with financial things and not necessarily just being there. And so now I'm at a place now I'm like, okay, cool. I can be at my son's soccer game. I can be at his basketball game. I can be at Chloe recitals, whatever it is. I could be with my wife and go out on dates.

We can do all these things, but I would have never done that if all those things had not been stripped away. So that's really funny because though you are in the fashion industry and you obviously do a lot of work with women, you still have this going somewhere like a patriarchal perspective on parenting. And that as long as you were provided

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

create discomfort for you or does it come easy? You already know this. We've had this conversation before about my level of giving an emotion. Yeah. I think as a child, I was brought up in a way of like emotion doesn't matter. Yeah. Like boy, get out here and get it done. Yeah. Nobody owes you anything. If you need something, you know exactly who to come and ask for that particular thing.

So changing my mindset and being able to communicate and open up and talk about the way that I feel like I allow my children to see my flaws. Mm hmm.

I let the world see my flaws initially, like in the entrepreneurial world, like I'm very transparent about like when things are good, when things are bad, but I never really let my children in like that. And most of the time I never really let my wife knew a lot of the things, but I never let her know everything. And so now that I'm able to go home and talk about my insecurities, I'll talk about when I had a bad day and not go home and feel like I have to be successful in my

my audience eyes and be successful at home. Like when I go home, I can be just as vulnerable and like really, you know, take my hat off and take my shoes off and lay in the bed and talk to my kids and talk to my wife about what the day was like

And then also talk about what my insecurities are and what my failures were, what I want to see better, and then disconnect from all that. Like, I don't even want to talk about successes at home all the time. Right. Sometimes I just want to be at the house with family and just chilling. But we don't have to talk about anything. No goals. Yeah. Just being family. Right, just being. Okay, so you and I have been working together almost 10 years. Yeah, my God. Okay, well...

Say it with a little joy in your throat. Put a little joy in your vocal cord when you... Put a little joy in your vocal cord when you're talking about me. Put some respect on it, man. It's weird, though, because...

We definitely have a working relationship. Yeah. That is like up and up on the books. Like your team talked to my team. We get these invoices paid. The hookups are not hooking up. The things are not happening. I love it. But it's very like black and white. I think...

I think we've done a good job separating like professional from personal. And yet we do have a friendship dynamic. Like our kids hang out. Right. We have become really good friends. What do you think you attribute the ability to have a friendship and a professional relationship with me to?

While keeping respect and honor for both needs that those relationships require. Well, you know, that took some work. It did. It did. It took some work. It really did. It took some work and I think it was worth it.

The work. Because now look at it. Now we do have children that are able to hang out and understand both of our worlds. You know what I mean? And then are going to children that are just like being kids and just loving each other in general and hanging out. And I know that we share, you know,

same morals and values for how we like to raise our kids and what we expect of our kids. I told you, I ran into Kinsey at the airport one night and I went into Uncle Mo like, where's your mom? Where's your dad? Like, do we need to call anybody? And I think that over the years, you and I working together, I, what I do love is that you taught me how to really develop

healthy boundaries, but boundaries that didn't make me feel unwanted. Yeah. Like it wasn't, you didn't build a wall. And sometimes I think people get it misconstrued on what's a wall and then what's actually boundaries. Like you still allowed me to be a part of your world and in your personal world, but only if I was willing to do the work of, of, of,

Making sure that I abided by those boundaries and you abided by my boundaries. When I came in, I didn't learn how to have boundaries. And then you as a friend was like, yo, I respect your boundaries. I'm not just going to be hitting you up and calling you, you know, whenever I want to. Like I have boundaries to them. We also have our friendship where we're just like, OK, whatever.

We do have some boundaries, but when I need you, I need your friends. You know what I mean? Like, I'm a wreck right now. Can you help me out? Say something positive to me. I have nobody else to call. And I think that that's the beautiful thing about friendship is that obviously there's a lot less boundaries than they are when it comes to work. I think work just, you know, you develop whatever kind of boundary you want to put in place that's needed. And you've helped me out a lot with that. I learned that from you. And then let's just go back to the past, you know, where...

Remember when you fired me? We broke up. Mic check. Mic check one, two. We broke up. Jay and I had a breakup. It was hard for me. It was harder for me. I think it was harder for me. I can't speak for you.

But what I will say is that I think it was probably one of the most saddest moments in my entire life. Actually, not even just career, but my life, because I knew that there was a divine connection there. But I was too immature to handle what was actually in front of me. Well, OK, so it's going to go deeper. Is it? Yeah. But I think I mean.

I mean, we just barely we're going to be real. Well, what's the rain? I got to tell you how I was raining under the pressure and now how I can rain under the pressure. Like now I can take the pressure of being told the truth and you can take the pressure of being told the truth. And there is no offense to it. There is pure love behind it.

There's pure love behind. There's pure heart behind it. I mean, let's just be real. Like there are moments you tell me that a dress is ugly. Yeah. And I have to take it. You know what I mean? That's not easy. But you don't take it because I still end up in the ugly dress. So let's keep it 100. Like you don't take it. And that's what I'm trying to figure out is you don't take it.

You continue to put things on me. Do you want it? So I thought we was going back, but now we in the now. Yeah, let's. OK, so we'll go back a little bit. So when you did say, Jay, I think it's time for you and I to not work together. It hit me in a place because I didn't know how to handle it because I thought that.

What seemed to be like, you know, when you see like Oprah, you see Oprah has been with her stylist forever. Beyonce and Ty have been together. So you see these relationships and that's all you see in my industry. The goal is to find your muse and someone that you can dress and slay and make them look good. And you build this relationship with them. And I knew that there was another relationship with them.

like outside of that. Like I saw Ty and Bebe friends. Yeah. And I was like, I long for having that, but I wasn't mature enough to handle the both of them. Honestly, like when I say mature, I wasn't, I was not mature in it at all. I knew how to give myself, but there were no boundaries in place. You know what I mean? Like friend, I'm going to send you your invoice in two weeks. Like, no, like you have to send, you have to do business when business needs to be done and you have to be a friend when it's time to show up and be a friend.

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Okay. So yeah, I mean, we struggled because I, but I, the way that my mind works is I do like clear rules and clear boundaries. So I understand like, this is what I can expect financially. This is what I can expect communication wise. Like I want to know like what I'm getting when I'm getting used and whatever it is, just tell me what it is. But when there's a lot of like changing and switching up,

I think that it makes me feel unsafe and unpredictable and I like stability. But I will say that I think part of the reason why we ended up having our breakup is I think it was less about that and more about the fact that I think we were both in honestly like catalyst moments together.

For our destiny. And I think that had we not had separation at that catalyst moment, that what was a divine connection would have become codependency. Oh, wow. Yeah.

You are absolutely correct because let's just be real. I'm going to keep it 100 on the table. I had started to depend my career on you. Yeah. But I think likewise, though, because when I first started, we were like doing a book tour and like going to like wave events.

during announcements at other people's churches. Like there was no preaching, there was no talking. We weren't talking to other book deals. There was no woman involved. And so I think we were trying to like make the best of the moment because we were not sure there would be other moments.

And I think that as I started speaking, I started feeling like, I don't know how much of this is actually me being impactful as a speaker or me just looking good when I speak. So I didn't trust that I had anything outside of just looking good when I speak. And I think that it started to feel like if I don't work with Jay, then I can't speak. If Jay doesn't dress me, then I don't have anything to say. And I think that I needed the separation of...

Girl, and there were some major misses. Like, I could pull up some YouTube videos. But where, don't go that far back, okay? But where did you find that we, like, you were able to come back and communicate? Because you didn't communicate that, and I didn't communicate that. So where did you find the communication when you came, when the circle came back around? To re-engage? Well, to re-engage and to be able to communicate better.

Boundaries, what you do like, what you don't like, because I would have never known the way that you actually felt in that moment. I never knew that you felt...

that, uh, maybe this is too much. Maybe I'm not doing, you know what I mean? Maybe this is not as impactful as, as we think it is. Maybe it's more vain than we think it is. Well, I think that's where I kind of came to the place where like, we want to look dope. We want to look fly, but I don't want to look like I'm performing or that I have on like a costume. Um,

Okay, now you're right. There were some moments that were... Which ones? I can think of one. Oh my God. I know one time I had put you in so much African print. Was it with the head wrap? I had you in the big old earrings. I'm talking about a mean head wrap. Big old skirt. Big skirt. Turtleneck. Turtlenecks. Whatever I could, I was like, she's flying, she's saved, and I want her in every print that I can put her in.

I think that if I could look back at our worst jump off the bridge moment together moment.

Oh, I got two of them. The one I can't really, I can't really hardly talk about right now. It hurts to even talk about it right now. Which one? Which one was for you? It can't be in the past three years for you. No, no, no, no, no. I'm talking like 2015 maybe. Yeah. There's one where my hair was up in this thing and there was a purple scarf around. Oh my God. I thought that was so cute. I didn't know that was one of the bad ones. No.

I didn't know that was one of the bad ones. I thought that was actually one of the good ones. Your hair was wrapped up and pulled up in a nice bun. So you was going through your natural phases too then. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Don't have the ancestors. Don't. We will not take any slander against the ancestors. You was going through a natural moment and I was like, okay, cool. She want to be natural. We're going to.

Black pride. We're going to black pride it up. And then I think at that time, honestly, I think that you were in Los Angeles. Yes. And so this is after we had kind of started working together a little bit more. No, I think this was right before I'm break. And you were in Los Angeles and living your best life. Which one are you talking about? Well, no. So the one that I'm talking about was, and forgive me, I put you in this really short dress.

In Atlanta, Georgia. Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about. And it wasn't that it was bad. I was not conscious about who I was dressing and the actual moment. I just said, this is fashion. This is fashion and let's make it happen. And I just had no conscious to what I was really doing. I never think about that. But you know where we was really tripping? Was the Trumpet Awards with that black crocodile thing. Oh my God, I'm talking about...

crocodile dandy. Okay. Listen, I had you dressed in a crocodile dress that was snatched up. It was. It was cut past the bus. It wasn't like a little peekaboo. Okay. But that I think also we have to speak to that as well because I do think that people here, you know, pushing the boundaries and pushing the envelope

in this market and representing God and doing what we do. And at the same time, like knowing when to pull back and when it's not about you. You know what I mean? Like when is it dope and when do you need to like, like bro, like just relax just a little bit. And I think that those are the moments where you're dressing and you're like, I know this is going to make them mad, but I'm going to wear it anyway. Like you probably need to pull that back. You probably need to pull back a little bit. Because you're doing it with this spirit of,

forget them when you put it on versus I really like this. I know some people may not enjoy it, but I really like it versus dressing to say like, hey, I'm not going to fit in your box. Expect the unexpected from me and you probably going to be pissed when I put something on, but you're going to get over it. I think that that's when you've crossed into a line of your dressing to offend versus dressing to be authentic. And that occasionally causes offense. Yeah, it does. And we've I've had quite a history of offense.

Oh, yeah, you do. Not just with me, just with plenty of people. Just with plenty of people in the Christian market and me just doing it and not necessarily knowing. I mean, some people just got something to say on everything. But then there were some things that I knew that I look back at it now and I'm like, you was wrong. You was dead wrong. You could have done a little different. I should have had you covered up. I should have gave you like a little scarf or something put around your neck for the...

For the little trumpet thing? Yeah, because I had you all low and tied up and boostied and pushed up all over. That's when that drug dealer came at me. Remember, did I tell you about that? He was like the CEO of some record label who had just got out of prison, and he was like, I got to have your number. Look what I had drawing of you. Yeah.

Lord, my God. Toray. This was pre, this was pre Toray. And I was like, what's a drug? Like, what's a little drug dealing? It's fine. What's a little,

Little drag deal. I cannot. I thank God for Toray coming along. Oh, me too. Me too. But I also remember dressing you for your first date. Do you remember that? And? I do remember dressing you for your first date. And like probably the whole situation. The whole transition. That was a time. That was a real good time. We're both nodding right now. How far do you really want to go? Yeah. No, but this is really, I think that

The real the real conversation here, Sarah, is that I have to say as a big brother slash like friend, all of the above. I think you played a role as a big sister in my life and it helped me to be able to walk away and go and do the work outside of you being there and learn how to do business.

I mean, you grew up in business. You know what I mean? Like your world, you come from a world of, you know, being able to do an invoice and, you know, know how to set boundaries. I came from a family of, you know, you go to work and you get the job done. And my parents taught me excellence too. But there was just certain business things. Like I didn't really know the entrepreneurial world and how to really operate in that. I just...

I found out by chance that I had a gift. - Well, what I knew is that you were very talented and I understood that there's this threshold when someone's very talented where they start to rest on the fact that they are gifted alone and they don't take on the responsibility of making sure that this gift is able to translate in any arena. And I knew that with your talent and for the opportunities that could be presented to you, that you could get in the door

and then get kicked out of the door because there wasn't the level of accountability and responsibility that makes major people continue to work with you? I did. I ended up like, as soon as you released me, I went to work for other people and I didn't realize why I had been released. Hmm.

I didn't realize when we first when I first got released from, I didn't really know what the actual deal was I needed to work on. Well, I went to other people and then I started to get fired from them as well. And so as you continue to cycle, you kind of like, OK, now, wait a minute, something is wrong.

Sorry, you have to be. There's a little bit of an issue with you. There may be a little issues with other people as well. But the majority I have to focus on is the issues within me. And so focusing on doing the work and then not leaning and depending on people to make my career thrive or make my gift shine or make my gift be able to push forward.

And then do what I love to do without it having to be about a person. Just do what I love to do because God has called me to it. Like my goal in working with you is now, now my goal for you is like, I want my friend to shine. My friend gonna kill it. I want her to be great in whatever she do. I want her to look amazing and feel amazing. That's the goal now because we're family.

But initially and now for clients, I always want everybody to just feel their best. Yeah. Like it's not about you going in a room slaying the next girl head off. Yeah. The goal is to go in a room feeling your best because if you go in the room whole, then you'll be able to walk out whole.

You go in the room halfway, you're going to walk out insecure, a little bit of broken. I was wondering at one time why I hated going to networking events and going places. This is because I wasn't going in the room whole. Right, right, right. I was going in the room looking for something or looking for something that someone else had to offer in hopes of walking out of the room whole.

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I love that because I think it speaks to the reality of when someone takes a step like you did into an unknown territory, an unknown land without the experience or community that allows people to gather wisdom and advice to set themselves up for success. We're talking about someone who has a target to reign in the pressure of not having experience.

So like, what do you do when you have a desire to make it to the top, but you also recognize that you don't have anything to climb with except for whatever is within reach?

And I think that what you have done is make the best out of whatever is within reach at any given moment. Not only have you made the best, you have made whatever is in reach become its best too. And I think that that's why God continues to see you accelerate and be promoted, even when it looks like the math shouldn't be mathing.

because it's never been just about you. It's always what can I use that is within reach and how can I take what is within my reach and make it its best, even if I eventually have to release it to grab the next thing. And I feel like your heart posture and your desire to really see God glorified in all that you do is what positions you to be trusted with more and more. So I look forward to the moments where I see what?

No, I was just going to say thank you for that because this has been a season of releasing and helping others to grow at the same time. It's like, okay, God, do you really want me to be transparent about what's going on in my life right now? Will they really look at me? I am supposed to be the guy who teaches masterclasses on fashion, teaches masterclass on business.

And like, God, am I worthy of really doing that? Like, can I teach people along with the things that I learned along the way or that I'm actually currently in? Like I'm under pressure right now, but I'm still teaching people in this very moment all at the same time because of my, you know, of the transparency. And recently I had to literally let go. I had this beautiful office space that was probably about maybe 5,500 square foot.

And Sarah...

You saw the place. It's huge. And I absolutely loved it there myself. And my parents came and they were like, boy, like, what is this place? This is huge. Blah, blah, blah. My family was like, we love it. We're so proud of you. And the community, everybody that I showed it to, the very thing they said was, we're so proud of you, man. And so for me, I never really heard, I'm proud of you. So that automatically gave me this thing of hold on tight to the office, do what you can and make it work.

in order for the office to still be there because that's the one thing that everybody told you that they're proud of. So for me, it was symbolic of you made it, you did something great. And as of recently after the pandemic or just for the economy itself and just business itself. Like everything in and on the economy, some things on...

Everything is not inflation. And so just from like learning and going through things, one day I saw a vision in the back of the office and there are two people that are next door to me, other businesses. And so their businesses are thriving and doing great. And so gosh, gosh, I'm a vision of an actual of a door on business.

their wall on one side of the business office and another door on another wall. And what God was telling me is that I need you to minimize so that you can help the next person maximize. It's time for someone else's business to grow. Wow. And it's next door to me. I'm like, so you want me to... Me to move? You want me to give up? You want me to give up?

half of my space to give to my next door neighbors in order for them to thrive and in order for them to grow like what about me I worked hard being here then I'm an African-American man I gotta give it up to a Caucasian male I'm just like what is the deal there was something symbolic there that needed healing as well right and so I needed to be able to heal in just that conversation and all of it and then um I let my pride down yeah I let my ego go

And I said, "God, whatever you says is what I'm gonna do." And so I remember reaching out to the landlord and they were okay with it immediately. And they said, "Well, let's see if they want it next door." I hadn't even talked to the people next door. I never knew they wanted to grow or they needed my space. So I invited the gentleman over, they came over and the next day they said, "We want it. We want the space." And I thought that it was me letting go of something that I had done that was just wrong,

But for me now, I feel more free than I've ever felt in business. Wow.

In my business journey, I feel more free than I've ever felt. And I was dancing in the office last Friday. I'm talking about just like jigging and dancing across the office. And the team was laughing. Like, what's going on? I was like, I am happy. And I haven't been in that place in a long time because it's always been about the go, the grind, the go get, the grind. And never a place of, man, I'm happy. I've released some things and I can just like live.

abundantly from day to day and not have to have in order for people to look at me like I'm successful or me need people's permission in order to call myself successful. Okay, so this is so good because I honestly feel like when

We talk about reigning under pressure. I think we also need to qualify the pressure we're under because some of the pressure could be alleviated if we made some tough decisions. If we decided to end some things that we've maybe had for a long time. Yeah.

And decide that this is a season where I am going to only have the pressure that is assigned and not the pressure that I have acquired in a pursuit that may not even be ordained anymore. So I feel like I just want to commend you. I know you've made some tough decisions. I know that anytime a leader makes a tough decision, that there's casualties.

And there are most of the time people on the other side of it. And it's difficult when you love people and you care for people to make the type of decisions that you know are going to shake up their life.

And yet you found a way to trust that God would provide for them and that God would provide for you. And it takes a lot of wisdom and maturity to do that because not everyone accepts the answer and they don't always accept the decision. But to come to a place where you can trust that you did what God told you to do and trust that God's going to take care of them the same way he's covered you, I think is the greatest gift that you can give anyone. Keeping them would have not been a gift. Keeping the building would not have been a gift.

The gift is in the obedience. The gift is in the obedience. I'm learning. Yeah. Period. Period. Exclamation mark. Okay. Well, thank you. Thank you. Do you, are we, what was the time? Are we good? Yeah. Okay. All right. So I have a question to ask you. You ready? Yep. Who is the most, okay, now I have to make sure I ask this properly. What woman is,

Has possessed the most iconic style, past, present, future, that has shaped the way that you see fashion. That has shaped the way that I see fashion. Yeah. Or influenced me. Yeah. There is...

It's a young lady. Her name is Sarah Jakes Roberts. Good night. No, real talk. Are you serious? Why? Don't say this. Well, you gave me a chance to develop. I wasn't able to just dress you, but I was actually able to. You didn't know I was going to go this deep. But like literally it is where it is. Like you were, you have intent and you have, you're very straightforward about everything.

how you want to be seen. And it's never done in a vain way. And I always laugh at you and say, well, I'm supposed to be the vain one here. I'm the one that's vain. So I'm going to tell you like I see it. I'm not here to be churchy with you in any kind of way. Like I'm here to tell you what fashion is for me. And so I think that you've helped me to be able to develop that. You've helped me to be able to develop my sense of style, my sense of edge, and my sense of doing things out of the box.

And you allowed it, even in those moments of, eh, maybe a failure here. Eh, it may be okay here. And then, bam, we had some and have some amazing moments as well. I have to be honest. I'm not just saying that because I'm on your podcast and this is real behind us. I'm saying that because I mean it. You have been the client that I've been able to, like, walk through this fashion journey with. Yeah.

and I'm appreciative and it's fun. It's fun. I'm like, yeah, you give me a hard time. Yes. But I do love it because those hard times, my team and I were just talking about how we have to strategically think about everything. Everything that we put you in, there is a strategy behind it for us from a fashion perspective because we want to make sure that we're one, making you happy. Two, that it's not offensive to an audience. Three, that it's not distracting. Four,

Four, that it's covered great. And five, that it's extremely stylish. And people think that it's so easy to address someone that's in the Christian market or in a woman that has your morals or that has your values for when you take the platform, when you take the step forward to speak to all kind of women, regardless of where they're from or whatever their religion is, whatever you say to them, you want to be seen and should be seen a certain way that people can understand

People can listen and they can take it in and be receptive by just looking at you. And I think that you have done a great job by just allowing us to do it. But it takes a lot of strategy behind it. It does. It takes a lot of strategy. It is not easy at all, but it's fun. And you make it fun even when you're nodding your head saying, uh-uh, I don't like it. I'm like...

somebody grab her bob we're gonna bring a bob out you know one day we were in a fitness there i was like i think this would be cute with like a ponytail and i was like um can you guys grab the bob i'm like no no you said you go uh-huh i do too can y'all grab the bob and i'm like wait a minute because you said uh-huh but then you didn't uh-huh properly and and then i and then i like to say this um

Help me see it. Help me say it, God, the way that I see it. Good night. That was my moment that was happening to me right then is that I saw it a different way. I could see it in my head. And I'm a visionary. I'm a visionary. And I think you're a great, you're a dope visionary as well. But I think that I could see it in that moment past what you can see. And that's my job is to really concentrate on

on the visuals to make sure that you're dope and to make sure that, you know, it's received in a really dope way. Well, I'm supposed to ask a follow-up question that I don't want to ask because now I know you're talking about me and I don't like it. Who cares? Let's go. What do you hope she knows about her life?

I hope that she knows that she has definitely played an influential role to women and men across the world. How have you played fashionably towards men? Is that men now, one, they see what a wife can look like.

a dope wife can look like, like how she can be Christian, how she can be saved, how she can be fly. And it really gives guys like some, it gives them hope. And I'm not just saying that I have, I've had other females that have told me that, um,

They have said they've heard guys talk about how dope of a woman you are and how it gives them hope into life and what what women and what young women can look like, dress like, feel like and be in the Christian market like. And then for the women, we already know where it is. The ladies are like you help them to develop and it's OK to be like.

vulnerable, you show women what it's like to be a mommy and feel like, listen, I don't know all the answers. You know what it's like to be a fresh to death and still be dealing with something at home, you know, raining while under pressure. Sometimes you're under pressure. I remember dressing you one morning. Can I say this? Yeah. I remember dressing you one morning and I think you were in Los Angeles and I was, I sent you a box of clothes and

And there you were going through quite a bit of things at that moment and you just didn't know how you want to be seen. And you were really trying to see your way out of that moment. And the very thing that I told you, I was like, that's going to be amazing. Like you need to wear that. That's going to be really dope. It's going to it's a fierce moment. You know what I mean? But I think it's definitely it definitely reads like serious and you're like, it's too bold. I don't know. This is too much. How am I going to do it?

And then my other style friend, Torrey, came in the room. And Torrey came in. He was like, oh, that's fire right there. That's fire. And he was like, what?

And when Tori came to her, she was like, what do you like? What is it? What you like about it? He was like, I really love it. And I was like, I thank you, Tori. I'm on FaceTime. Like, thank you, Tori, for that, man. I told her to rock it and wear it. And he was like, why don't you want to wear it? And he was like, I just think it's it's so bold. I'm not sure if this is the message that I want to give off. But he and I help you to get dressed and to reign under pressure, right?

And you were in the middle of pressure and you took that moment because you made a decision because you could have said, I'm going to walk away from this. I don't care about what you or Torek has to say. I know how I want to feel, you know, but you took you. You said yes to seeing yourself in a better light than what you could like literally see in the mirror at that very moment.

And so I applaud you for being able to take that step because then that look became like this incredible, crazy look that everybody talks about across the world. And it also...

was taken very nicely with the message. I never know what your messages are going to ever be, but just so happened, the Holy Spirit just like, God just ties it all together every single time. And I think that the message blended very nicely with the look. And I think that you are such an incredible example of being a young woman. And I mean, to be able to talk to young, middle-aged women

more mature ladies across the world and have them all know that there is something better for me. You give them something to aspire for, whether it's a new wig, whether it's new lashes, whether it's a better relationship with God, whether it's finding dope friends to be around, whether it's finding a really cool way to be a better mom, whether it's being fly. I just think you're doing an incredible job at that. Yeah.

I give you the crown, ma'am, of saying, you know, you do so well at reigning under pressure. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you for doing this podcast with me. Thank you for having me. Are you? Are you really? Yeah, I'm like, thank you. Thank you for having me. I had to fight you. You had to fight me. That's all right. Sarah loves to.

Put me in places that I never knew I'd be. Returning the favor. I love you, friend. I love you, too.

She needs someone who's going to fight for her. If we don't follow the right plan, we lose. The hit series Reasonable Doubt, now streaming on Hulu. She was defending herself against a monster. Starring Emma Yatze-Corinaldi. I'm the best lawyer you have ever worked with. And Morris Chestnut. I'm not gonna stop. I think I love it, love it. Never underestimate.

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Who doesn't love a sports story? The rivalries, the feats of strength and stamina. But these tales go beyond the podium. There's the team table tennis champ, the ice skater who earned a medal and a medical degree, and the sprinter fighting for Aboriginal rights. Listen to Womanica on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.