The Glory In Your Story w/ Monique Rodriguez
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In order to be a doer of the word, you have to have a belief. There has to be something that you believe that drives what you do. I want you to begin to examine what do I believe and how is my belief keeping me from doing? I can sleep well at night knowing that I'm rooted in my faith and I will focus on those that support me and know my character and know that I wouldn't do anything to sacrifice black woman's hair. And like I said, I can sleep well at night knowing that I've done what I needed to do.

Hello, hello, hello. This is Sarah Jakes Roberts and you are listening to the Woman Evolved Podcast. How are you? What is going on in your world? Did you all enjoy last week's episode as much as I did? I really, really enjoyed it.

Getting to know this side of Erica Campbell, I feel like I don't always have an opportunity to dive deep with people who I follow online. And so it was really heartwarming to understand what stage of life she's in, the lesson she's learning. And I felt like it was a great segue as we go into Mother's Day. How was Mother's Day for you? It is not lost on me that Mother's Day can be complicated.

Some of us have amazing mothers that we cannot wait to celebrate and love one. Some of us are doing the best we can as mothers and can't wait to have a moment to reflect on all of the ways we're showing up for our people. And then there are other scenarios where maybe you weren't mothered in the way that you needed. Maybe your mother has gone on and you miss her tremendously. Maybe she has gone on and you didn't get to know her at all.

I recognize that Mother's Day can bring up all types of feelings, whether you're maybe battling infertility or even questioning whether or not motherhood is right for you because it hasn't happened yet.

as your life environment and circumstance hasn't yet allowed you the opportunity to even weigh that outcome. That's a lot when you think about it through that lens. One of the things that I enjoy about the work that I get to do is that I get to hear about different women's perspectives and experiences, and it informs the way that I look at holidays like Mother's Day. And so I just want to say, I'm thinking of you. I'm carrying you in my heart.

It is not lost on me that there are a number of feelings and emotions that could arise right now. But I also know that we have a God who wants to meet you right in the middle of where you are, not to force you to be anything other than truthful. And from that place of truth and honesty and transparency, you can experience his goodness, his love, his comfort, his grief, his

because I fully believe that God grieves the things that breaks our heart because it was never his intention for us to experience some of the depravity that we're now exposed to. So I'm thinking of you. And for those of you who had an incredible Mother's Day, I hope I'm in that number. I'm recording this the Friday before Mother's Day weekend and I have no idea what my weekend holds, but I do know that my daughter Ella was home from school and she made me breakfast in bed

and she made me tea and she told me she's got other things planned for me. So who knows? My Mother's Day is probably going to be top tier. We're doing Hey You tonight and then Saturday I'll be studying so that I can preach on Sunday. So Sunday afternoon slash Monday morning is going to be...

When my Mother's Day celebration fully kicks off because I get to serve others on Sunday morning, which I'm looking forward to. Y'all pray for me. God's giving me a little word, a little word and a little energy. So we're going to see what he turns that into. I've had a really good week. I've had to go through some growth as an entrepreneur over the last few weeks.

really. And in the process of doing that, I am finally beginning to see some structure and cultural changes take place within woman evolve that I feel like reflects not just, um,

our productivity and outcome, but God's heart for what we do and how we do it and how we take care of those who do it. And so, man, one day I'm going to do a podcast about all the things I have learned in entrepreneurship slash ministry, the intersection of those two and my desire to keep my heart pure and to create safe spaces. It is a task that one that God must feel like I am up for the challenge.

Last thing I want to say is it's Teacher Appreciation Week, at least it was last week. And I just want to send a shout out to all the educators who are out here literally doing the Lord's work. We thank you for your heart to serve. We thank you for the ways that you are spending more time with our children during the day oftentimes than we are. And the way that you are guiding their future, pouring into them, correcting them, challenging them. I know you tired.

And it is a thankless job, but one that I am still going to say thank you for because I am grateful for the educators in our lives and the ones who have been a part of shaping me. So, okay, so let me mind your business. I feel like I've been talking a lot. Let's get into this week's podcast question. Hi, Sarah. This is Lisa. I guess my question would be, how do you position yourself to...

grow in your relationship with God by feeling like you don't have to do things out of obligation, but appreciation. If that makes sense. If the question made sense. Because I find myself sometimes, well, a lot of times, backsliding. And it's like, if I'm being told, okay, read my Bible, talk to God, a lot of that stuff is out of obligation.

And then like the more I grow into doing it, I guess it turns into appreciation. But I still end up feeling like I'm not appreciating God the way I'm supposed to because I end up going back doing the same thing. So if you could just help me to understand like or give me some advice on how do you stay in a position to be centered to God?

I really feel like this is such a phenomenal question because

Many of us desire to live right, to do the right thing, but you can't just do it because you want it, right? The whole point of woman evolve is sometimes we know better, but we don't do better. What is the connection between knowing better and actually doing better? And I think it has a lot to do with us properly positioning why we're doing what we're doing and understanding why we want to do better or why we want the things that we want.

And so my first suggestion to you is to think less about how do I do the things that I know I'm supposed to do and more about what is driving my desire to want to do this.

A lot of times when we have grown up in families, contexts that applaud achievement or productivity, we find ourselves being doers. And I'm reminded that that's scripture. Don't just be hearers of the word, but doers of the word. In order to be a doer of the word, you have to have a belief.

There has to be something that you believe that drives what you do. And so if you aren't able to do the thing that you are feeling like you should be doing, my question is, what are you believing about that thing? Do you believe that it's hard? Do you believe that it is impossible to do it? Do you believe that eventually you'll fail? Do you believe that it's not worth it?

I want you to begin to examine what do I believe and how is my belief keeping me from doing? Because you can't just leap over that mountain of belief. You want to run through it. You want to make sure that you have the strength and the tenacity to overcome whatever obstacle is keeping you from showing up in the world the way that you feel like you're supposed to show up.

Which leads me to my next question. Do you feel like this is how you're supposed to show up? Or do you believe that for some reason, this is what God wants from you? Because if you are just doing this because you think it's what you're supposed to do without a real conviction, it's going to be easy to fall in and out of the action. And so I want you to examine your belief. And then I want you to examine why you are doing the thing that you believe.

are hoping to achieve. You don't go into much detail. So I'm going to use an example that, you know, I'll use my example, French fries.

I should, if I want to stop eating french fries because it's bad for your health, it's fried food, it's not good for you, it's one thing to know it. And maybe for a few days I can do it. But when I get overwhelmed, when I've done really well on my fitness journey, I can convince myself that it won't be bad this time. Does it become a slippery slope and I start...

all of the time going through the McDonald's drive-thru and closet eating in my car? Absolutely. Because there is something that has shifted in my belief. My belief said at first, I shouldn't do this. It's not good for my health. But then I began to believe that I have earned the right to do this. I believe that it's not as bad as I initially thought.

thought. And so when our belief begins to vacillate, our why then changes. And so remembering your why, why is this important to me? What am I in the pursuit of? I shared on tour and I think I'm, oh, I was going to say I shared it on this podcast, but I wasn't recording this podcast at the time that we were on tour. But I was trying to get to this space of forgiving someone who had wronged me or I felt wronged, whatever.

I was trying to get to this place of forgiveness, but I just couldn't do it. And I knew all of the things, oh, but the Lord has forgiven you. I knew all of those things, but in my estimation, this person was just not worthy and I did not want to put the mental, emotional, and spiritual energy connected to forgiving them into play in my life. And so I just settled. And this fact that I am not going to do it. The only problem with that is

It's as I settled into this state of, I'm just not going to do it. I could feel that my heart was becoming numb and desensitized. And guess what? I really didn't care about that either. So we start this fast. I go on this fast and...

I start reading through Romans again and I open up Romans 2. Let me pull up my Bible. I open up Romans 2 and I got red for filth. Okay. Romans 2 slapped me right in the face and says, therefore you are inexcusable. Oh man, whoever you are who judge for in whatever you judge another, you condemn yourself.

for you who judge practice the same things. So then I got to thinking like, is it possible that this person who I refuse to engage does something that I actually do myself? And so I started looking for hypocrisy in myself. And then verse two continues is, but we know that judgment of God is according to truth against those who practice such things. And do you

think, oh man, you who judge, those practicing, those very things that you're judging about and doing the same, that you will escape the judgment of God if you are showing up in a way that reflects what this person is doing in any way. I just want you to know that God's going to judge you

as well. And so for me, forgiveness became less about the other person deserving it, less about it being something that I had to do because I'm a Christian and this is the right thing to do, and more to do with me wanting to really be able to stand before God. I do desire to be one of those people who don't live by the flesh.

that has the Spirit of God leading them in everything they do, even the things that I don't want to do. I want my heart to be pure as I'm creating this podcast, as I am ministering. I want to have a pure heart. And in having a pure heart, I know that it's going to require that I do the hard work of tidying up. And sometimes forgiveness is tidying up. With that in mind, I am wondering...

What is your why? Why do you want to live a certain way? And is it a heart conviction or is it something that just lives in your mind? Because it has to start from your heart to transform your mind. And if it starts from your heart and it transforms your mind, in those moments where you mess up and you slip up, you know how to get back on track without feeling obligation, but rather gratitude. The last thing I will say is,

We feel a sense of obligation to people who we see as taskmasters. And if you can ever see God as companion, partner, friend, father, if you can ever experience the true love of God and not just...

desire to fulfill the will of God or to escape the wrath of God, then what we do for God is a reflection of the love that we have for him. I don't know if you got a boo, but if you ever got that boo that's just so good to you, you start doing things like, I will run your path or I will learn how to cook. I will

I will give you a pedicure. I will massage your feet. Not because I have to, but because I just love you. You are so good to me. I appreciate the way you show up in my life. Our obedience is not slavery.

Our obedience is the natural byproduct of the love that we have for God and our desire to please and desire Him in the same way that He pleases and desires us. If the Lord has disappointed you in the way that He didn't intervene or the things that you feel like He allowed in your life, then it can be difficult to love and trust Him fully. But one thing I have come to know is that

Oftentimes my perceived disappointment in God is a reflection of my limited perspective. And time has always revealed to me that even the things that I thought were within God's power to control or keep me from experiencing, He's always made a way for me to survive them and come out with more wisdom and strength on the other side of them. You got to remember, not everything is something that God has created.

for your life. There are some plans that the enemy has allowed to play out in the way that other people interact with you and the thoughts that have been embedded in your mind. But the promise is that the Lord can make all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose, not that everything that we go through is going to be a good thing.

We lost that opportunity in the garden, but we didn't lose access to good. So that's a long answer. Hopefully something stuck like spaghetti. If it didn't, girl, wash it down.

They say don't judge a book by its cover. And if you have ever heard Monique Rodriguez's story, you know there's so much more than meets the eye. You might know her as the founder of Miel Organics, but today she's pulling back the curtain and sharing something even more powerful. Her brand new book, The Glory in Your Story.

It's a heartfelt journey of activating fearless faith and child. Let me tell you one thing. I am here for it. I recently watched on social media, maybe like many of you did, as we saw her fearless faith on display in the face of the threats of success, which not many people talk about the threat that comes with success. But I saw her...

Dig her heels down and continue to trust God through it all. And we get to dive into that, but also so much more. It's a heartfelt journey of activating not just fearless faith, but authenticity and vulnerability. I know that we've had her on the podcast before, but this is a conversation that dives deeper into what I know about her as a woman and what she's coming to understand about who she is in the world. I know that she's coming to understand who she is in the world.

I am here for all of it. Help me welcome my girl back, then lean all the way into this episode because a word is coming.

I'm so glad you're back because I don't feel like there's ever enough of you that we can get as it relates to your story and the different like twists and turns your life has made and continue to make. But the way that you continue to respond from a place of faith and courage and vulnerability, I think is so inspiring. You're telling your story, which is a big deal. It's one thing to kind of share it in little pockets.

But I feel like there's something about putting your story in a book for the world to see that just makes it that much more amplified. How are you dealing with, you know, your story being out there and getting feedback and opinions about your journey? Yeah, putting my story out there for me, it was a very cathartic feeling, right? You know, I felt very vulnerable.

and nervous, afraid of just putting basically like my business out there in the streets. Yeah. And, you know, just expecting people to read it and to be inspired by it. And honestly, that's what's been happening since it's been released is that, you know, I've been getting so many messages. I've been reading the reviews of people that, you know, are just so inspired by my testimony, by my journey. And ultimately,

What's really special about this book is that people are saying they want to pursue their relationship with God. They want to be closer with God. This book has renewed a sense of faith in them. And that's ultimately the purpose of this book. This book is to inform, inspire, educate, motivate all while glorifying God.

So there are so many different facets that you can relate to from my stories. I tell my stories from when I was a child growing up in the South side of Chicago, all the way to being a nurse and going through my tragic loss with my son and my

stepping out on faith into this journey of entrepreneurship. And then what it's like on the other side of being an entrepreneur, the ups, the downs, the peaks and valleys, and showing people that it's not always the glory that you see on social media. You know, there are a lot of trials and tribulations, but I really wanted to use this book to testify that our story matters because

And that it's important that we own our narrative and we use our voice because even the messy parts of our story, everything matters. God says that all things will work together for the good. He didn't say all good things. He didn't say all bad things. He said all things. And this story is just going to bring hope to those that are wondering how they're going to get from

their circumstances to the other side? How are they going to get to the promise? But they have to know they have to go through the process. And this book is a living testimony of the glory on the other side of that pain, no matter what you're going through in life. Can I ask you, there are people who ask me all the time, like, I want to tell my story, but there are people in my story who may not look like heroes. There are moments where I was maybe victimized. And in order for me to tell my story, I

I may have to make other people seem like a villain. And so they don't tell their stories because they're afraid of how it could make other people feel or how other people could be portrayed. Or they're still ashamed. They're still grieving. They're still angry about things that have happened in their lives. How do you get to a place where you're free enough to tell your story without fear of judgment?

Well, you know, I went through that as well because, you know, I told my story of growing up with my dad being addicted to drugs. And I was very cognizant of, you know, I don't want to make him out to be a bad person, but I want to tell my, like, this is my story. This is my experience. And it takes having a conversation with God of like, you know, what direction should I go in? Give me the discernment, give me the wisdom and the words to speak to

that will glorify you, that will bring light to this situation because other people will be going or may be going through that situation. But also I'm not here to bash anyone. I just want to share my experience and sharing your experience is a part of that healing journey.

in order for me to do what I'm doing, in order for me to lead, in order for me to be a CEO, to show up as a whole woman that I am, I had to heal first. And as a part of this healing and dealing with the grief, you have to deal with it. You have to go through, you have to acknowledge it. We cannot continue to sweep things under the rug and act like it didn't happen. And I grew up in a generation where

That was kind of what went on in my household. If we didn't talk about it, it just didn't happen. But that's not healthy. That's actually pretty toxic. And...

I would just encourage people to just share your story because we overcome by our testimony. God has put us through certain things so we can comfort others the way God has comforted us during those dark times. And so for me, I had to deal with it. I had to acknowledge it because I couldn't move forward in the purpose and the plan that God has designed for me without revealing and healing the issues that I was going through. And to pick up on that,

piggyback off of like what I was talking about with my dad, it was also freeing for me to talk to my dad and he basically gave me permission to tell his story. Right. And, you know, I'm sure that he's probably read it. He attended my first book tour launch and he was there and I

talked about the struggles very openly, and I've never talked about that in front of him, but I made sure that I let the world know that he's not a bad person. He just dealt with an addiction, a sickness, and it was a stronghold over him. And we have to pray for those that are dealing with the enemy. We all have some way, shape, or form that we deal with the enemy. Some

People's enemy is a lot bigger. But our job is to pray for them as believers and not condemn them, but to keep them uplifted with God and know that God will take care of them. And so that was also healing for me is to share my story in front of him because he never really knew how I felt growing up.

Don't you think there's something to be said, and I hear this in the way that you're speaking about your father, that if you're going to tell your story, but you're not at a place yet where you see your villain as a child of God or the source of your pain, the source of your trauma, because I feel like villain is such a strong word. I want to rephrase that. If you can't tell the story without being able to see them as a child of God,

God, then you may need to do a little bit more processing because at the end of the day, no matter who hurts you, no matter what your trauma is, when God's looking at them, sure, he sees all of the, you know, pain their actions have inflicted, but he also sees why they inflicted that pain to begin with. And I think part of healing, part of forgiving is being able to see those who have trespassed against us as children of

God. And if you see them that way, when you tell the story, don't tell the story exclusively from your lens, but tell the story from the lens of someone who sees them as the child of God. And I feel like it makes you more gentle in telling that side of your story.

Yeah, I absolutely agree. And I think in order to get to that point, we have to forgive them and we have to forgive ourselves. So just as we ask God to forgive us for our sins, we can't ask for forgiveness if we are holding on to grudges and unforgiveness in our hearts against the person that we may feel have wronged us. Because then that turns into bitterness and then it turns into anguish.

anger. And then it turns into, yes, you want to bash that person or say something negative about them. But if you are coming from a place of forgiveness, and I had to get to that step first before I can say, you know, my dad is not a bad person. I had to forgive him for what I felt was his neglect to me as a child growing up.

Because I know that, again, to your point, God knows his heart. God knows his soul. And I know that if he did not suffer with that addiction, a lot of the decisions he probably wouldn't have made if he didn't have that stronghold over him. So I had to come to a place of like, I accept you because I see your soul.

not you in the flesh. And I see beyond this addiction and I forgive you for that. And now I'm on a new trajectory of now I can talk openly about it because I'm not harboring bitterness inside of my heart.

You know, I was recently sharing about an experience I had where I felt like the Lord was dealing with me about forgiveness and I just did not want to do it. Like I knew I was supposed to do it. Like I know all the scriptures, I know all the reasons, but I was like, God, I just don't feel like doing it. And so I was on a fast and, you know, true enough to being on a fast, like God's going to bring up

all of the areas where he wants to see you grow and become more like him, made in the image of God. And I opened up Romans 2, which before I intro this podcast, I may have to dig a little into Romans 2. But it basically talks about the way that you're judging other people is the way that you're going to be judged. But for me, forgiveness came down to

who do you want to be? Not what did they do, but forgiveness is like, what kind of person, what kind of believer do you want to be? And if you truly believe that you are made in the image of God, it can't be just so that you can have power. It can't be just so that you can be all knowing and courageous and confident and bold, because we like those attributes of being made in the image of God. But if

you really want to be made in the image of God. We're talking about long suffering. We're talking about patience. We're talking about being forgiving. And I really do want my heart and mind to be transformed to become more like Jesus, which means that I couldn't afford to stay in my bitterness no matter how much I wanted to. Because I was like, this person does not deserve forgiveness. And God was like, you don't deserve forgiveness. I was like, I'm not Jesus. We don't want to be like Jesus. As long as we can like

You know, don't cast the first stone and my haters is my haters. That's when we want to be like Jesus. But when Jesus is like, you need to forgive like me, like we log off. Like, no, that's not me. But there's something to be said about really making that our number one goal and then the forgiveness required to do that. Yeah, absolutely. And the thing is, we have to give ourselves grace. Forgiveness takes time. If someone has wronged you, you know,

I don't think that God expects us to forgive overnight. He knows that we're human. He knows that we have emotions, right? He blessed us with emotions. So just know that it's a process. And you're right. Forgiveness is not for the other person. It's for you and for you to live a freeing life. I cannot be chained to my dad's sicknesses or his

his issues that I had growing up, I refuse to be chained to that for my entire life because I don't want to pass on those generational curses to my family. I want to be a whole heel woman for my husband and for my kids because how can I break generational curses if I am holding on to unforgiveness of generational curses?

past trauma. Yeah. Okay. So I have to ask you, and I don't know if you have talked about, I know I've seen it on social media. So if this isn't something you're comfortable talking about, I'll edit this whole part out. It'd be like, it never happened. But I want to know about forgiveness as you have moved into the face of entrepreneurship, because you posted a little while ago about like someone, some entity placing these rumors about your products into the headlines and

and how it wasn't a reflection of truth and it wasn't a reflection of your product, but you still continue to move with integrity, move with class. Like, how do you forgive not just what like someone did to you, but now someone who's trying to impact like your livelihood, your reputation on a mass scale? What does that process of forgiveness look like for you? Is it the same?

Yeah, I mean, obviously I don't know that person and I have no emotional ties or connection to that individual. But what I do know is that I had to stay grounded in my humility and my faith and knowing that with success, the bigger you are, the higher you climb, the more eyeballs that are on you and the more criticism you will face.

And I say this all the time, like if you don't want to be copied, if you don't want to be criticized, then don't do something great. And that was a constant reminder of that when I sat in my alone time, in my still moments, and I had a conversation with God. And I was reminded of when, you know, they cheered Hosanna for Jesus one day and then the next day that they crucified him. So it's just a reminder that

People are fickle. People are emotional. And one day they will clap for you. And the next day they will crucify you. And, you know, not to that, not to be so like,

to that detriment, but it's the same type of analogy of what was happening because that year prior to, the same oil that people were praising and talking about, soon as someone put out misinformation, they took it and ran with it and it spread like wildfire. And that's the thing with social media, misinformation can spread so much faster than true positive information.

And so I had to stay rooted in the fact that, you know,

I know that I did not do anything wrong. I would never put out any products that was damaging or harmful to people's hair. I understand hair challenges because I've suffered with hair shedding and issues myself. That's the reason why I created Myel. So women can have a safe space and a platform to share healthy hair tips and have great performing products. This is my passion. This is what I love. And I operate with integrity and transparency. And I feel that

people that have been following me for the course of the 10 years that I've been building this brand, they know my character, right? And I think that my character and my integrity will always outweigh the rumors and the misinformation and the lies. You know, I had to have a conversation with God, like, God, I know you did not bring me this far to let one person tear my brand down. And I stand on his word,

This is this company, this vision. It came from God. And I know my purpose and I know what I've been assigned to do. And I know that what I do is to glorify God and hair care is just a vehicle and a platform that allows me to do so.

So I know my God-given purpose and I can sleep well at night knowing that I'm rooted in my faith, that I haven't done anything wrong and that I will go public to try to inform and educate people of what the truth is. And I will focus on those that want to understand and those that support me and know my character and know that I wouldn't do anything to sacrifice myself.

Black women's hair and those that are set to misunderstand me I can't focus on those people because I don't want to focus on negativity because that will continue to grow I want to focus on what's positive the support that I do receive and the millions of women that use my l Products and don't have any issues and love using the brand So that's what I choose to focus on not necessarily the misinformation We'll continue to put the facts out there

And, you know, we'll just go from there. And like I said, I could sleep well at night knowing that I've done what I needed to do.

I went through a hard time once and people, there were rumors and stuff on the internet and I started feeling nervous. Kind of like you said, you went to God and was like, God, now I know you didn't pull me out of this, pull me out of that, put me in this situation for things to just fall apart. And I really felt like the Holy Spirit told me that if this can come down because of this rumor, because of these stories, then I never built it. But if it,

it doesn't come down because of these stories and these rumors. And you will know that anything I start with, you cannot be destroyed by man. And there was just something about this revelation of like, if it can come down, I didn't build it and I wasn't in it. And you needed to come down so that you can get to what is solid and cannot be shaken. But I am telling you, if I started this thing with you, you sit back and you see the salvation of the Lord. And that has been my testimony as we've gone from seasons to seasons, because, um,

there are so many eyeballs, there are so many opinions. And I think depending on your experience and your worldview, your opinion could be right for you, but wrong for someone else. Yeah. And giving people this space to say, you know what? I don't have to campaign for everyone to like me, for everyone to get me to your point. Those who want to understand, that's who I'm going to lean on to. I feel like there's so much wisdom in that. I want to talk a little bit because someone would look at your life. I follow you on social media. You're

First of all, ma'am, you better put them clothes on. You better put them clothes on. The feeling is mutual. The feeling is mutual. You are putting these clothes on. You are jet setting. You're all around the world. And someone would think to themselves, oh, my gosh, I wish I could have her life. I have a sneaky suspicion, though.

that people do not understand, that it looks like you have more freedom because of all of the things you're doing and all of the places you're able to go. But because there's so much weight, so much responsibility, so many people watching you, that is not as free as it looks. I want to talk a little bit about how the definition of

freedom changes over time. Someone may have once said that when I get this amount of money in the bank, then I'll be free. When I get married, then I'll be free. When I get children, then I'll be free. How do you define freedom now versus how you defined it maybe 15 years ago?

That's a deep question. So when I first entered into this entrepreneurial world, freedom for me was being able to live a life that was not attached to someone else's dream.

Because I did grow up and I became a nurse because my mom had always instilled that in me. And that was her dream. She wanted to be a nurse. She couldn't be a nurse for financial reasons and couldn't go to college. So ever since I was little, she would always be.

push that dream and that narrative on go to school, go to college. You need to become a nurse. A nurse is recession proof. And that's what I did. And I did that for eight years and I felt tied to her dream. I didn't feel a life of freedom because I was not fulfilled in working as a nurse. I don't regret

my decision of being a nurse because I felt like it has allowed me certain skill sets that I've carried on into this entrepreneurial journey. But I knew from the very beginning when I stepped foot on the nursing unit floor when I graduated that this was not something that I wanted to do for the rest of my life. But I felt chained to having to do that because I grew up in a

a household of you have to survive and not thrive. It wasn't encouraged to pursue your dreams and your passions. And so the freedom that I felt when I started this brand, it was the freedom of doing something that God had called and assigned me to do and doing something that was not my mom's dream.

This was something that I wanted to do. I wanted to pursue this beauty space and I wanted to serve women. I wanted to be impactful and inspiring to Black women that look like me. And when I started, it was just like,

I didn't even think about like, oh, the money is coming in because when you are starting a company, the money doesn't come in right away, right? You have to grind, you have to work, you have to get out there, boots on the ground and engage with the community. So the money wasn't the primary motivator of why I started my Yale. It was really like, now I'm finally living out my purpose, right? Now I'm finally pursuing my passion. And that was a freeing feeling when I first started. And then-

Now that I look back 10 years later, because it'll be 11 years in May, and we've done the acquisition, I'm still leading the company, but this is a different type of freeing because now I feel that I don't have to be tied to social media as much anymore.

as I had to in the very beginning stages of building my company. I felt like I had the pressure to show up and post on a regular schedule. I had to stay on top of things. I had to make sure that I was being relevant of things that was going on in the industry. And I still do that to a certain extent because I just love the industry. But the pressure of having to show up, having to be perfect or having to

portray, or I won't say portray, but having this image of being this respectable businesswoman and

And sometimes deep down inside, I was crying inside, not even knowing how I was going to pay the bills or not even knowing that the company was going to sink or swim. But I still had to show up every day like this boss that people looked at me as on social media. But I wanted to be vulnerable and real and show that like, you know, yeah, I'm the CEO, but half the time...

I really don't know what I'm doing, right? And I think it's okay to say that we don't know everything. But, you know, when society looks at you as this image and they want to put you in this box and you feel like you have to show up, that is a lot of pressure that comes with that territory. And that's another reason why I wanted to write this book because I wanted to, like,

show and evoke the emotion of how I was feeling in different situations while I was building the company. And even when people saw me and I was smiling,

That there was a backstory behind it and i'll give you an example My daughter called me yesterday because she actually just finished the book And she read um an excerpt in the book where I talked about when the banks were knocking on our doors And they were trying to threaten us to take our home because we had a line of credit and our line was called due because we were in debt And she told me she said mommy

Me and Mackenzie, we never knew this because you always had a smile on your face. Like you always showed up. So we didn't know that you guys were going through that. And so just having the pressure of that weight of, you know, still having to show up and knowing that, you know, you may not know how you're going to pay your next bill or if the bank is going to come and take your home because of X, Y, and Z.

And that was a lot of pressure that was tied to building this company. So now, I feel the freedom of not having to always show up and not having to conform to the pressures and the standards of...

the community and the world, right? I feel that, you know, I've done some really great things. I've accomplished a lot over the course of 10 years. And now I just want to inspire. I want to share my story. I want to show that it's not always easy, but just because you go through painful moments, it doesn't mean that you're kicked out of the game. You're still, sometimes being in pain shows that you're still in it.

Right. And that you will come out on the other side of it. But you got to go through the process. You know, every successful person that I have met that I've known has not became successful without going through trials and tribulations. It's how you show up and you respond to those trials and tribulations that shows how you will come out on the other side.

That, okay, the pain being a sign that you're still in it, that's like bar mic drop moment because I think some of us feel like pain is a sign that we're losing and it's really the sign, I think also that we're being developed, but I've never thought of it as a sign that we're in it because sometimes we're so focused on losing or the idea that we, are we going to quit? That we miss out on the fact that, hey, I'm still here and if I'm still here, there's still opportunity. There

There's something you said about freedom is for you, or at least it was when you were first starting off not being tied to someone else's dream and shared a little bit about it being your mother's dream for you to pursue nursing. I am wondering how did your experience with your mom in that particular aspect change the way you are parenting your girls? I see there are teenagers or one of them may be.

20 ish. I don't know. They seem like 19. Yeah, I know. I remember prom. You know, I'm talking to you like the rest of the world. I remember prom. But I'm just wondering, how does that change the way that you support them as they figure out what their dream and purpose is?

Yeah, it's so different because I parent them so much differently than how I was parented growing up. My kids literally walk to the beat of their own drum. You know, I don't pressure them. I really try to nurture them. And I feel that, you know, as a parent and even like,

with my employees, I like to see potential in people. Like, I like to look at people and pull out qualities of like, oh, you're like really good at talking. You're really good at journalism. Like, maybe you should pursue like your passion in like journalism. Like, because I can see you, you know, as an anchor on the news. Like, I love

love pulling out those little nuggets that I see in people that they may not even see in themselves. So I do that to my kids. And, you know, sometimes they're like, oh, mommy, I don't want to do that. And I'm like, okay, that's fine. But I see that in you. So I'm just going to plant that seed. So even if you, you know, when you become older and you're still trying to like figure your life out, you can remember those seeds that are planted inside of you that pulled out certain characteristics or qualities or skill sets that you can reflect back like, oh, mama,

My mom did say that I was really good at taking pictures. So my daughter, my oldest daughter, she's in college for marketing, business and marketing. And she loves content creation. She's a content creator. She wants to like build her career as an influencer. And I support that. I want to nourish that. And I know that like if that was me when I was a teenager, my mom probably would have said, no, you need to like that. You can't find a career in that. That's not a stable job.

You got to go this way because you need to have a backup plan and it has to be recession-proof. You have to be stable. But I'm like, if that's what you want to do, go ahead and do that. But she also has different talents that I pull out of her. And I say, Mia, you're really good at taking pictures. She's amazing at taking pictures. And I'm like, you don't want to take a film and photography class? And she's like, no, I don't want to do that. I want to focus on my content creation. So I don't push.

I'm not pushy, but I make sure that I call out those key things that I see in her. So she'll just have plants of seeds that have been planted. And I want to just nurture that so she can grow. So both of them can grow into the women that God has created them to be. My youngest daughter, she loves animals.

And so I try to present options of like where you can go. You can be a veterinarian, you know, you can, you know, have a farm. We need more black farmers. So I try to like just plant seeds of like, these are the options that you can go into based off of your passion that you love now as a child. Because I do feel that

A lot of the time, the things that we're really passionate about are things that we did as a kid, that we did effortlessly, that we wasn't paid to do that, right? Go back to those moments. So I really like focus on those childhood talents and try to nurture that as they grow and get older.

That's amazing. One of the things that I love is that you're also exposing them to the world. So I love it. Like I always see you guys on amazing trips and I feel like that's important because as much as you can expose your children to the world, that's one thing. But what I hear you saying too is like you're exposing them to themselves because sometimes our teens are like so distracted by the world and taking in the world and figure out where they fit in the world that they don't see who they are. And it feels like you are exposing them with intention. Yeah.

what you see inside of them. Absolutely. And speaking affirmations over them is big for me. Like I send them and we, sometimes we have to meet our teens. I have teenagers, got to meet them where they are. They're texters, they're on their phone. So I will send them a scripture.

I will send them a word of motivation and encouragement because I know that they're going to read it and it'll digest versus sometimes when I'm speaking to them, they always say that I lecture them. So they may not receive it sometimes. I think they're always listening, right? But I just like to meet them where they are. So if you are always going to be on your phone, I'm going to make sure that I send you something that's going to meet you where you are, that gives you that word of encouragement so

speaking that word of affirmation, speaking life over you so you can receive it where you are. And I ask you, I want to know if you look down the road five to seven years down the road, what is one thing about who you are now that you hope remains true? And what's one thing that you hope changes a bit? One thing that I hope that remains true is that I remain open to

meeting new people and not being closed off or guarded. And that is a work in progress that I am on. I've been on this journey for a while because I did grow up very guarded. And I realized that being so guarded can put a wall up where I'm blocking out people that can be potential blessings in my life.

And that guardedness came from the mistrust that I had grown up in my household with my dad. Living in a house where you can't even trust the parent that you're living with. What makes you think you can trust the world? So that is something that I've worked on. And, you know, I have changed the narrative of saying that, like,

I don't trust people to, I'm going to trust people until they give me a reason to not trust them. So I pray that that continues to remain the same. And because you will come across people, you know, one of my friends told me the quote is rare, fine air. The higher you climb, the air gets thinner and not everyone can understand, you know, your journey.

Because not everyone has experienced your journey. Not everyone has experienced the level of success that you're at. So the more success that you have, the thinner the air gets because the higher the altitude is, right? And so when the air is thinner, people will fall off, right? Because people, for whatever reason, jealousy, envy, they're afraid of success themselves, right?

They don't feel like they fit in and there's rare fine air. So people will just remove themselves from the situation. And the notion is it gets lonely at the top.

And so because of that motto or that saying, I don't want it to get lonely at the top. I don't want to cut people off. I want to be open, but I want to surround myself with the right people, right? God aligned friendships. And that is something that I pray for. So I pray that I continue to remain open, continue to be able to receive the blessings of the people that God sends into my life. And the thing that I would want to change is that

I want to continue to own who I am. And what I would want to change is that don't want to deal with the labels that was placed on me as a kid. I want to change those labels. I don't want to walk in that space anymore.

Because those childhood labels and traumas of things that people may have put on you before you even knew who you were as a child, as a woman, I've carried those labels with me into my adulthood. And I want to change that. I want to own who I am. I want to walk into my purpose and who God has called me to be and remove the labels of you're not going to be anything. You are insecure or you are not good enough.

I am good enough. I'm more than enough. And I'm more than a conqueror. And I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And no matter what anyone says, their words cannot affect me. And I pray in my prayers that God, any word curses that has ever been spoken over me, I rebuke it, I cancel it, and I bind it in the name of Jesus. So I don't want to wear those labels.

And I know that those people tried to put those labels on me because they saw something in me that I didn't even see in myself. But now I know who I am and I see that in myself and I want to remove those labels. So that's something that I would change moving forward. Okay, so your answer is,

I'm going to have to marinate with because I think that I struggle with being open to new relationships, but I always chop it up to like, I'm busy. You know, I've got so much on my plate. I don't have time to really invest in a friendship. Friendship requires time. But also I just feel like people don't feel safe to me. They just don't feel safe. And,

And so I feel like if there's something that I need to do, I'll show up and I'll do it. But just like being amongst people for the sake of being amongst people, like that doesn't feel strong to me. Yeah. No, listen, thank you for that vulnerability because it's so real. And I've been there. Like I am an introverted person by nature. Like I am, I don't pull my energy from people necessarily.

But if I have time, I just want to give you an example. When I first started my company, we were selling in like these mom and pop beauty supply stores and

And the beauty supply owner, she was a black lady. It was a black owned store. And she was calling me and she's like, your products are like, this was like a year into our business. She's like, your products are selling and they're flying off the shelves. They're selling so well in my stores. And I want to introduce you to this lady who can, she could be your mentor. She can get you into all these retailers, Target, Sally, CVS, everything. Like that's what she does. I'm going to give you her number. You call her.

She gave me her number. I didn't call her because I didn't want to be open to that relationship. Because in my mind, I'm like, people always talk a good game. You don't know who's telling the truth. Like, I don't want to have her come out and get in my business. And I don't know nothing about her. And I'm supposed to just believe that she can get me into like, that is a dream. And that's,

That doesn't happen to somebody that looks like me, right? I'm getting it in my own head. Never call the lady. The beauty supply owner, she calls us back a couple of weeks later and she's like, hey, did you call...

I'm gonna, her name is in the book. So people will know this story. She's like, did you call such and such? And I said, no, I didn't call her. And she's like, you need to call her. Like, she's going to get you into all these stores. And I'm like, okay, now lady, you're selling me a dream. Like, I don't, I didn't trust it. So I still didn't call her. So then we get on the phone. Couple of weeks later, my husband's on the call.

And she's like, hey, you know, I wanted to know that you guys called this lady yet because I've been telling Monique, you know, she's a great mentor. She knows the industry. She's been in the industry for like 30 years. She can get you in all these stores. My husband goes, I'm going to call her.

So he calls her and she flies out. She's super impressed with our company. And she was really a legit mentor. And she's still my mentor today. And she was very real. She was one that assisted and helped us get into our first retail partner, which was Sally Beauty after only being in business a year.

And then we went into all these other major retail stores because of that partnership and that relationship. So to that point, if I would have continued to stay guarded, if my husband hadn't stepped in and jumped in to say, you know what, I'm going to call her, would my AL be where we are today? So-

I get it. And that's why I said, like, I want to stay pure. I want to stay open. And what we have to do is we have to pray that God gives us discernment. So when we see people, we see their spirit and not them in the flesh. And we have to lean more on our discernment more so than our feelings of I can't trust this person because people don't feel safe.

But what I can trust is God that you will send me the right people that are safe because I know that they're sent from you. And if they're not safe, then you will give me the discernment to recognize immediately. There will be something in my spirit, something in my soul that will be a...

or an alarm that's going off to say, you know what? This person is not safe. I'm not gonna open up, but I have to lean on God for that and not my own flesh. Because there have been people that I have let in that have burnt me. And I talk about this in the book, but God let me know very quickly.

So, you know, there's two versions of me. That's like the whole podcast theory. There's like, there's the Eve side of me. She knows better. She doesn't do better. But then there's that Mary side that's like, I'm going to partner with God and we're going to produce divinity. The Eve part of me, what she took from your story is marry well. And then that way, even if you don't trust people, you're going to marry someone who will balance you out. But what I hear you saying...

That is even more important is really trusting the Holy Spirit and discernment. I think especially for me, I think the pressure and the anxiety of moving even into senior leadership at the Pontiac Dallas is the reality that like I'm going to be even more vulnerable towards people.

right? And I think there's like, you know, rejection sensitivity and like, oh my God. So it just feels like being vulnerable to people. But even this morning in my worship, I heard God say, fix your eyes on me. Like if you fix your eyes on me, I'm going to give you wisdom. I'm going to give you strategy. If you fix your eyes on the room, you will talk yourself out of it every time. If you fix your eyes on headlines or blogs, you will talk, you have enough

reason to talk yourself out of it. You will find an excuse and you will take that excuse. Yeah. But if you fix your eyes on me, if you are like Peter, you will walk on water. I will call you into the deep and I will not tell you. So I feel like what you said certainly echoed what God told me in my prayer time. So thank you for taking the time to share that story. No problem. No problem. Okay. I want to ask you, fill in this sentence. Freedom requires what? Freedom requires faith. Hmm.

Yes, faith, because I may not be able to see the whole staircase, but I know I have to take little small steps to get to the top. And at the top, there's the freedom on the other side of that. But I won't get to that freedom. I won't get to that promise if I don't have the faith to just take the first leap. So freedom requires faith.

Thank you, Monique, so much for your time, your wisdom. I really enjoyed this. The more I spend time with you, the more that I enjoy you. So thank you so much for just continuing to have these conversations with me. Of course. Thank you for having me. It's such an honor. I don't know. You could probably edit this part out, but my husband and I, we want to, you know, come to your church. We want to visit. We want to support you and your husband. I don't know if you knew this, but my husband and your husband, like they connected at, um,

the last, your dad's last men's conference, I want to say. Oh, okay, okay. I didn't know that. I'm not sure. Yeah, he went to lunch with your dad and everything. And so him and your husband and my husband connected. So just know that we support you guys. And again, I understand your...

your thoughts because you are in rare fine air as well. And when you are an influential person, you just don't know if people are trying to attach themselves to you because of who you are and not because of your spirit. So like, I get it. I understand, but just know that you have a sister all the way in Chicago or Florida. Cause I live both, but we are supporting you. We're cheering for you. We're rooting for you. And we're also praying for you. Most importantly.

And we're coming to the church. So I will text you when. Okay. Thank you. Thank you so much for those words too. Yes. And I can't wait to see you at Women Evolved. That's exciting. I know. I was literally getting a report from one of my team members. I was like, this is amazing that this worked out. And she and I haven't even talked and connected about it. I know. Right. Yeah. So God's timing. So beautiful. Okay. Thank you so much. All right. No problem.

Monique, I honor you. Thank you so much for giving us the behind the scenes look at what it truly takes to walk in purpose and to lead with impact. And to everyone listening before you go, I want to leave you with this. Don't minimize your story just because it carries pain. God can use even that. If this episode stirred something in you, don't let it end here. Grab your copy of The Glory in Your Story and let Monique's journey keep fueling your own journey.

Lord, I thank you so much for this opportunity to serve what you're doing in the lives of women. God, I thank you that no matter how successful our stories may look on the outside, that you know all too well the struggle, the pain, and the victory that was required in order for us to become who we are.

God, I pray that you would continue to allow us to hear our own stories, to make peace with them, to understand your hand and provision throughout all of them, that we may share them with pride and courage and joy so that others may be healed.

If there's someone who's listening right now and they feel like their story is never going to have a happy ending, maybe they feel like they just can't get it right. And for some reason, you'll turn their back on them. God, I pray that they are reminded because of today's podcast that you see them.

that you're patient with them, that you're loving and kind towards them, and that they don't have to know you as one who was waiting for them to get right. But you died before they even saw right, because you just love them as they are. And God, as they encounter that love, I pray that it transforms them and changes them to become powerful women and fellas of God, because I know we've got a few fellas listening. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.