Decisions, Decisions | "The Right Thing to Do" (S1E11)
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Today we're talking about episode 111, The Right Thing to Do. Kate wrestles with her feelings following Toby's heart attack. Randall feels conflicted about his father's relationship with Jesse. And Jack and Rebecca find out they're having triplets.

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- Welcome back. - Welcome back to That Was Us with your hosts, Chris Sullivan. - Sterling K. Brown. - And Mandy Moore. - 1:11. - Yeah. - 1:11. - Did you guys do like a back-to-back screening of the Christmas episode and then like same? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - But like we said last episode, in the real world,

Episode 10 happened before the NBC Christmas break. Right. And 111 comes back when? Mid-January? Something like that. Yeah, we had like a six-week hiatus. That's right. It was one of those times for six weeks. I'm like, why do you guys do this? Why do you like, when is it coming back on? And then it's like, we told y'all before. It's going to go away for six weeks? Yeah.

And even then, it's just the little secret we have to keep of what's going to happen with Toby on the operating table. What is going to happen with Tobias? And the episode opens with Kate with the bad finger song without you playing. Yes. And sort of like the chaos of the hospital and people are coding and nurses and doctors and everyone's sort of running around and we're obviously led to believe that like

She's there at the hospital in the midst of Toby's crisis. And it just turns out that she's holding some coffee and she's like, sorry, which direction is room 420? Everything's good. Like the curve. But we opened, go with the flashback, right? We opened with young Jack witnessing his mom and dad in the midst of

of his dad's hand around his mother's throat. - Yes. - Pushing her against the wall. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And I was like, we're on NBC. - Mm-hmm. - Okay.

And then you see young Jack just sort of like stand his ground. Does he say something? Does Jack, does he say something to his dad? I don't remember exactly. I can't remember exactly. Hats off to casting because that little dude looked a lot like Milo Ventimiglia. Yeah. Right? I bought that. He stood his ground. And like you see his dad say like, you two deserve each other. Yep. That moment right there is enough for...

-a lifetime. - Yeah. -To change a child. - Sure. -Just the visual of that. - Yeah. Right, I had friends recently who had taken a couple of kids in because there was an investigation going on about abuse in this household. And it turns out there was no child abuse, but there was abuse going on between the husband and wife. - Okay. -So Child Protective Services was like,

so there wasn't any child abuse. I'm like, that is child abuse. To behave that way in front of your children is child abuse. And so it's another piece of the Jack Pearson puzzle. - He is one of the most wonderfully enigmatic characters, I think, in television history.

Truly, because he unravels like an onion. I feel like, I mean, all of us do to a certain extent, but I think like everybody else is a bit more forward and sort of 2020, 15-ish or whether or not. Jack Pearson is like still waters that run real, real deep. And if our suffering or our trauma is kind of what forms us on a core level, we can't

get that quicker with the rest of our characters. And Jax, like you're saying, and maybe Rebecca's too, like they unfold slower through flashback over the seasons. But do you think that's just in part because of the modernity? Like we're living in the modern world and it's easier to have these conversations and it's not in vogue, but like to be able to talk about our feelings, to be able to not...

compartmentalize things. Like Jack and Rebecca were from a different generation and a time. And I mean, Jack, especially it's like, there's so much kept close to the vest. There's so much kept from Rebecca. There's so much Rebecca keeps from Jack. Like, I think that's just more of an understood idea. And I just, and I mean, for our audience, as it unfolds, like when you're like, how did this person become this person? We get these little, yeah.

snapshots of there. And then later we get a whole, you know, Vietnam storyline or whatever the thing, thing is that make this man who, who behaves in a certain way, whether it's with alcohol or, or, or the flip version of it, how much he loves his family, his children, how much he appreciates a grand gesture or, or all of these things. It's just, it's just interesting how the different speed at which

These characters unfold. Yeah. And he is just a slower burn. Yeah. And you get these little moments. Let's talk about this because his mom says to him in the moment, like, promise me you'll never be like him. Right? She says that. And he's like,

I got the lesson. Right? And you see him, we fast forward, there's a six, a delightful little six floor walk up two bedroom that they were going to start their family in. Rebecca is happy as can be. She can see it all. It's great. Like, look, I'm only 20 something years old. I can take six flights. It ain't no big thing. Yeah, one baby. I got this. Happy as a clam, you know? A baby. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Then,

They go to the doctor's appointment. And who's your doctor? What's his name? Dr. Schneider, I want to say, or something. Dr. Schneider. Dr. Schneider is like, how would you guys react if I told you that you were having twins? And you know, Milo's got his mouth. He's like, what did he say? Like,

I would laugh or tell you you're crazy. He's like, good, because you're having triplets, right? And it was like, we as the audience got a chance to be ahead of that moment for the first time. Just be like, oh my God. And we knew that this doctor's bedside manner. It's like, come on, man. What's with all the jokes? He really like twists that surprise a little bit. And then walks into the break room. There's like, it's never easy telling people their stories.

having more than one baby and there's Dr. K. - And there's Dr. K. - And I was like, I don't know Dr. Strider, it seemed pretty easy. - It seemed like you had a whole script. - Also like, thank God you don't end up delivering the kids. - Seriously. - That's what I thought when I was watching that. I'm like, I don't like him very much. - He wasn't the best. So we go through and like now there's a real reconsideration of like, oh dude, we're not prepared.

for three babies. - Who is? - And this is coming from Rebecca. - Yeah, who would be? - She's like, "This is insane. We gotta find a different place." And Jack recognizes, even though they already put down the deposit and everything, they're not gonna get their money back. So Jack goes and talks to his boss and is like, "I'm gonna need more money." And he said, "Look, man, I'll bump you up to 17K." - Thousand dollars a year. - You're already the highest paid formula we got, man. Money's back, thanks, right? Rebecca,

Moms, moms are like, and it's real. The nesting is a real thing. Yes? Correct. I'm going to mansplain nesting to you. No, no, no, no. You've witnessed it. Women are like, no, bros. Something is off and we got to fix this thing now because life is coming. Yeah. Right? So she goes and talks to her mom.

Shout out to Perkins. I think I got to meet Perkins one time. What? Of all the times that she was on the show? Well, because different time lag. And so one day when I was at work and you guys were finishing off something, I got to go, I love Elizabeth Perkins. I love Elizabeth Perkins. Man, when they told me, casting told us, this is who's playing your mom, I was like, yeah. And she was so good.

Yes, because she is truly one of the kindest, most likable people. And just to be able to play that like deeply biting, discerning, disapproving mother. And we quickly learn in this scene like there's been allusion to like Rebecca and her mom. Obviously, she told her parents off on Thanksgiving and didn't want to go there and whatnot.

We understand later in life her mom's relationship with her children and with Randall specifically. There's a lot of animosity there. But it's like even in this stage, pre-children, we learn she's disapproving of Jack. Totally. And there's just a lot of trepidation, I think, on Rebecca's part of...

you know really steadying herself before she goes and has lunch with her mom and has to break this news of like wow i'm not just having one baby i'm having three like how is this going to go over with my mother who's clearly going to be you know have much to say about this and she does it's like she predicted it she has some things to say yeah some ideas and like in in your space of not really one like you know things are complicated you still have to like hear it

because there's a part of it that might make sense. - Yeah, she's not wrong. Like, how are we going to make this work? - So you go home, talk to your husband, who's like, you know, doing the bills. Oh God, that scene of like just watching Jack go through bills sort of gives me, I was like, oh, I don't want to do any more bills. - Men go through a form of nesting too. - Yeah. - Did you notice, like when Bear, except mine was different from Rachel's. Mine was like,

All right. This table's a little wobbly. I got to fix that table. The door squeaks. There was a list of tasks. The honey do list? That needed to be accomplished. Mine is sort of like looking at my wife's Amazon history and being like, I have to make more money. Ha ha ha!

I was like, we getting a lot of stuff. I gotta make some more money. That's pretty much what my mind is. - Very perceptive. - But so then you float to Jack. You're like, my mom suggests like maybe we go live with them for a couple of years, save some money. They have all that space. And he's like, what'd you do with my wife? What'd you do with my wife? You know what I'm saying? Bring her back. And this is one of those Mandy Moore moments when you're like, all right,

I know he's probably going to try to dismiss me, but like, I don't see another way right now. Like that's like in the back of the head is like, my husband's not gonna like this. - No other options. - I don't see another way, right? And so then you sort of get that he's not ready to hear what you have to do. And you're like, I need,

some mint chocolate chip ice cream. And he's like, "There's my wife." This was one of the... I love this moment in relationships because I think this is something that I could do better. So Jack goes to get the ice cream and you asked him to go because you need a moment. - Yeah. - And you weren't ready to have that moment in front of him. - Yeah.

And then he forgets something, he comes back and he bears witness. He can hear that you're in the midst of dealing. Doesn't say anything. Walks back out, makes a noise opening the door like, "Hey, I forgot my wallet." We can clearly hear in your voice. He can clearly hear in your voice that you're not right, but you tried the best to put on a good face. And he gives you that space. - Space, yeah. - I could do better. I'm always immediately like, "What's, are you?"

Let's talk about it. You know what I'm saying? Like, honestly, when I watched that, I was like, okay, Brown, that's something you can incorporate. Yeah. Because sometimes people just need space. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she did. I think it's like she was barely holding it together. I mean, this is the worst possible prospect. Yeah. The idea of having to live with her parents is the last thing in the world she wants to do. But...

In an effort to take one for the team, like, there really are no other options. Like, they don't have enough money. They don't, like, a sixth floor walk-up with three baits, like, that's just, it is truly not going to work. They're, they have to figure out something, and, like, this is the only thing that's presented itself. And I think she's allowing herself the space to reconcile that and not, it's like, I don't want to burden him with this. I need to digest this myself. Right.

And we will, at a later date, discuss this. And maybe get into the nitty gritty of like, yes, this is not what I want to do, but like, what other options do we have? Kind of idea. And I think like, in not confronting you, but in knowing what you're going through, and knowing that you don't, that the brave face is just a brave face. He goes and asks you,

the last person in the world that he'd want to ask for help. Yeah. If Rebecca was willing for us to live with her parents, which is the last thing she wants to do, he's like doubles down on, well, the last person I want to ask anything from. He goes to see his dad and asks him for some money. Pockets his wedding ring? Pockets his wedding ring. Yeah. Right? Doesn't say he's about to have kids or anything. His dad goes like, what'd you do this time? You know, it's girls, it's gambling. Gambling. Gambling.

- Right. - He'd rather throw himself under the bus than let his dad know that he is married with kids on the way. - Yeah, 'cause I think he doesn't want him to be a part of his life. He's just like, "That's what I need. So you wanna help me or not?" His dad helps him out. He's got the car. He goes and sells the car. Now this is the thing about Jack and Toby, and I'll say later on, this is season six, I think.

Quit buying houses without talking to your wife. It's not the move. It is not the move. Please talk to your wife before you buy a house. It's a giant purchase. Yeah, or a boat. Or a boat. Randall. Or a boat.

- I think this is the writer's room mea culpa too. Just people in this writer's room are just buying things without talking to their partners. Like this should be in the show. This seems to be in all of our lives. - But the good thing is he's able to get the house that he's working on and his wife,

thankfully can see it. She walks into the space and you can see the space being transformed. - And again, she has to see it. There's no other choice. - There's no other choice. - Again. Yeah.

But like, this is our first, this is our introduction to what becomes like the Pearson home. Yeah. Like their childhood home. Yeah. Like the scene of pretty much like every major thing that happens in this family's life, including them losing the home. So it's, it's, it's pretty, I remember that feeling of like, wow,

they stripped everything away from the set and made it feel sort of like it was still a construction site. And which again, kind of to borrow your phrase, Chris, like not ever having done television before, I was like, "Whoa."

I was so like floored at watching them sort of like piecemeal the set and then have to put it back together for later scenes. It was crazy. I'm still floored. What they do in production in terms of like set design is stupid. Yeah, yeah. Wild. Stupid. Yeah. I wonder how often that happens. Sorry, going back to the first house, right? I wonder how often that happens where there's –

it's tumultuous at first around this thing. And then over time it becomes like a family home. Like I'm trying to think about like,

Like, I think the childhood house I grew up in, there was kind of some conflict in the family for moving there at first. And it was kind of in the middle of nowhere, no friends, no blah, blah, blah. And then it becomes-- it grows into this thing. I wonder how often that happens, especially since it happens when people are young and they don't have any money. A bit of a side note here, too. The house that was originally, like, the original outside of the Pearson home ended up getting changed.

Because of the geography that we needed for the Super Bowl episode. Explain. It used to have a porch and it didn't have a porch by the time we got to... Well, no, there was a porch. It's just like they... I remember them moving houses simply because like the placement there... I want to say like it wasn't too... There was something, something that made it not possible for us...

It was, there was either an upstairs, I believe there was like an upstairs balcony. Yeah. That would have made it a lot easier for us to escape the fire. Oh.

that Dan realized in the Super Bowl episode needed to be eliminated that we just like left and like got on the roof from the Pearson bedroom. So I just was clocking that in this episode a little bit too. I was like, oh, this is before they made the transition of, because it was like we were shooting in,

South Pasadena before, and then we switched to Eagle Rock for like the outside of the house. And then that's where we stayed for the remainder of the seasons. But it was just something that I remember clocking like, oh, wow, that can happen too. And shifting like that without the audience being completely aware. Until you said it, I would not have even clocked it. Of course, yeah. Just to funnel inside. That's good. Should we talk about- Yes. Kate and Toby? Yeah, Toby and Kate at the hospital. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Realizing he's alive. He's alive and he's drinking coffee. He's alive. And I told Chris Sullivan earlier today, I was like, man, you stuck your foot in this joint, man. Yeah, truly. That dude was acting his ass off. Yes. Because you are such a charming, affable, warm, generous human being. And that still comes across. And you also, what comes across is terrified. Yeah. Like, oh, okay.

wait, they can give me a pill or you have to cut open my heart. Give me the pill and that'll be the best part because I don't want nobody to cut anything open. And it's interesting after Kate having just gone through, well, I guess it would be elective surgery. And I guess it's elective still to a certain extent, but it's like, if there can be a permanent fix there and it's just like,

I was laughing and frustrated with you like at the same time. - Yeah. - Same. - Both of those things. And when you can do that as a performer, I go. - That's very good. - Agreed. - I remember being both relieved and stressed about shooting this because I was like, "Oh, good. I lay in the hospital bed for this whole episode."

I don't be comfortable, especially in the suit. Like I was just like, but then the stress was like, Oh, I got to do all that. Just laying in a hospital bed. So it was like sick. All those scenes, all the connecting, like, yeah, I can remember a couple of times. This is my sidebar.

of Chris walking around before he put on his, sometimes he'd just have on the suit before he put the wardrobe on. - I remember that too. - 'Cause he was just looking for like air. - Coolness. - And I can remember just seeing him walk around and I was like, this man looks miserable. - It's a lot. - I said, how you doing big dog? He's like, ah, hanging in there. - It's just like a constant like low hum of panic.

i was like if i need to get out of this thing it's gonna be it's gonna be a minute like like like let's hydrate enough to stay awake but not that i have to go to the rest does it come do you have to like go it was a lot like yeah yeah for season one for season one it was it was an upper suit and pants that had padded legs and so it was just like it was a lot it was a lot very good um but yeah the luckily the the episode

Toby dealt with, like I was saying previously,

With humor, which is how I get in those situations. I'm just going to make light of this. Sure. To calm myself down. Yes. I have that. Do you have a note? You're looking at your notes. I have Toby still wants it. Yes, he does. Toby. And any given opportunity, he wants Kate to climb on top of him in the hospital room. If Kevin is a love addict, Toby is a sex addict. Let's not. Let's not.

- It feels good. - This is another episode where I walked in and did all my work in one day. - Is it really? - Yeah, yeah. 'Cause it was all in the hospital bed. - Sure. - That's a full day. - And I walk in to another

famous to me director Tim Busfield. That's right. Who is famous, obviously. West Wing. West Wing. 30 something. But to me, being a Sacramento boy, we have the B Street Theater, which was started by Tim Busfield and his brother. Get out of here. And when I was in elementary school, the B Street players used to come around to all the schools and do a show.

performance to kind of get kids interested in theater and bring people down to theater. No way. And so I think I talked to him about, he showed up on set and I was like, no way. And I was like, I'm pretty sure. Did you do those? Like, did you go around? He's like, yeah, I did some of those. It's highly possible that you are the first professional actor I ever saw that made me realize like, oh, this is a job. Wow. Acting is a job. Acting is a job. Yeah. The B Street Theater was just

- That's amazing. - And then he ended up being this one day on set for me and Chrissy, he came in and gave me two bits of advice that I had never been given 'cause it was very early in my television career. - Never leave a hit show without your DGA card? - Never leave a hit show without your DGA card. - He told me not to. - Wait, did he really say that? - Oh yeah. - Oh wow. - He said that. - And that was when I was like, oh, I guess I'm gonna have to do this.

I guess that's something I should think about. DGA for those is the Directors Guild of America. He says, make sure you direct an episode so you get your DGA card before the show's over. And the other thing he said, he said it to me and Chrissy because he knew that we were both new at this, is give a director one Hollywood take.

And I was like, "What is that?" He goes, "No moving, no blinking." - Ha! Michael Caine. - And I was like, "I don't understand." And he was like, "It just gives them a base to edit around."

- Wow, interesting. - And so you do one take where if you're doing all this with your head and your hands, you just do one take where you stay perfectly still and you say the lines and you don't blink. - It can cut into that take a lot easier. - And I was like, really good advice. I forget to do it a lot. - I loved working with him. - Yeah, I did too. - He's also deep, deep, deep old friends with Ken Olin, our producer, director extraordinaire on the show. - We will just keep teasing to you, our audience,

Ken Olin, because you may or may not know who he is. God, we've got to have Ken on the show. But let us tell you, you can't wait to have Ken Olin. You cannot wait for the episode when we have Ken in here. He won't be able to complete a sentence. He doesn't speak in full sentences. We might not even be able to air it, depending on what he says. But it'll be fun. It'll be fun, for sure. Maybe we'll start a Patreon that's private just for that episode, where people can go.

What dawned on me also in the midst of this Katobi section was I didn't realize it was the first time that you said I love you.

- It was. No, no, I clocked that as well. - You clocked it? - Yeah. - I didn't realize, I thought you'd said it before. I was like, through his actions, this man clearly loves. - He says, there's one thing I can't live without and that's you. - Right, that's what he says on the- - In episode 10. - Right. - But- - To say I'm in love with you- - I'm in love with you. - Is different than I love you too. - Real talk, real talk. Okay, I got you. - Yeah. - She's like, I'm just letting you know. - If I were to hear that,

It hits my ears differently. Yes. I can say to you, Sterling, I love you. And you can say, I love you too. I love you too, big dog. If I said, Sterling, I'm in love with you. I have to be like, I need a moment. See? Different. I also, my favorite was the line, when you do decide that you are going to go ahead and have that surgery, and they just like jump right into things. And you're like, whoa, what's in that needle? What's in that needle? He's looking at the needle.

"Oh, that's big." - Yeah. - All of that was, yeah. I'm pretty sure I was making things up at that point. - Of course you were. - It was great. It was great. The arrhythmia joke earlier was great. The whole thing was great. And then to see her come in thinking that you haven't come through surgery yet, haven't come to from surgery yet and telling you like, "I love you too." So Chrissy. It's so Chrissy. She's like, "Just so you know." You know what I'm saying? And you just listening to it.

And then she's like, how long have you been up? I'm like, about an hour or something. It's, Katobe warms my heart. So easy to root for them. Truly, truly warms my heart. So that's what happens there. And we know that Chris hasn't died. And so we're very, very happy. Very, very happy. More That Was Us after this short break.

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Well, let's get into Randall. Randall is really sort of like bugging over whether or not, like he's having this sort of reaction to Jesse in William's life. Yeah. And he's like, am I a homophobe? Yeah.

Like, am I homophobic? Well, it's a delicate conversation. Very. Right. Because why is he so bothered? Why is he so bothered? Why is he so bothered? And the first thing that pops in his head is like, am I homophobic, right? Also, Kevin's teasing about it at the beginning of the episode. What's the movie that he- Beginners. I love that movie. He references beginners. Yes, hilarious. And he also, as he talks about, is this where he talks about artnerships? Yes, I wrote that down.

- You would have done too, Sterling.

That he and Sloan are in an artnership. They're in an artnership. They're not boyfriend-girlfriend. Again, this is another thing. I think that the Black Pearsons are very accommodating about people knocking boots in their house that are not them. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Because it's like, hey, gang, look, I'm giving you a bed and a place to stay. You ain't got to be like... Yeah, they come up out of the basement all... Disheveled. You know what I'm saying? Like, in this house. Yeah, there are children under this roof. In the middle of the day, I'm like, can we ease up off of that? So he's...

So trying to figure it out because Randall's awkwardness gives me sort of just giddy because- - The soup dumplings? No soup dumplings for you? I was like, wow, we're going back to a Seinfeld joke. Okay. - It's a perfect like Randall dad pull. - It's a total Randall joke, right? And so he later on, he asked his wife, he's like, why am I bugging? Like, what's the thing?

She's like, "Am I homophobic?" And she's like, "No, you're not homophobic." And she says, "Well, how do you know?" She says, "Because you're kind, right? Like, that's just not who you are."

And he's like, "Then why am I having such a problem?" And she says, "Well, maybe you just need to get to know him. And maybe you'll feel better once you know who he is and his place in your dad's life, et cetera." And then she lovingly, oh, Sue's just the best. She's like, "You know what I need to do is get in this bathtub. I can't just turn it on like that." And then I'm like, "Okay." - And then Sterling gives the people what they want. - Try to give the people a little taste. - Takes his shirt off. - That's right. - It's a little taste. - I was struck. I was like, "Oh wow."

oh, wow, I forgot this show can be sexy sometimes. It's like, like that kind of like moves the needle, especially for a network show. I was like, wow, their relationship is just so beautiful. Again, you root for them. You just like, when the two of you guys are on screen together, I'm like, I can't get enough. Like,

And I love too how she sort of explains it to you of like, you thought you knew who he was and this is like a huge curve ball. This is a huge new piece of information that you weren't equipped with before. And so like give yourself some grace to digest it and get to know Jesse. And maybe all of that together will help you feel a little bit better about who William is. - Absolutely. - And also nobody believes that you can't just turn it on.

Please. Yeah, please. Come on. Jesse comes to the crib and they have a nice little moment. Sidebar. Dennis O'Hare is somebody who I've had an acting crush on for as long as I can remember. Same. When I was living in New York at the Public Theater, the original production of a play called Take Me Out appeared there. And he plays this baseball journalist who sort of finds himself sort of enamored with the sport of baseball. I'm not a huge baseball guy.

But I watched him in this play and I'm like, oh, I get it. I get it. Like his love for this game was so palpable. And then he started popping up on all of like Ryan shows and the horror story and everything. I was like, this guy deserves whatever he gets because he can act his ass off. So it was a joy to just be in a scene with him. And he's such a lovely presence. It was so much fun to be around him. He's incredible. He's a powerhouse in the New York theater scene. Like I have yet to be able to see it, but he does a one man show every,

That is the Iliad. What? What? Yeah, yeah. Does the entire thing. Wow. I mean, he's a boss. He's a boss. I want to see that. So I get a chance to do a little scene with him where Randall's sort of just like,

Randall and out. Yeah. It's like offers him something to drink. And he's like, you're an addict. That wasn't what I was supposed to do. Just going through like sticking his foot and like foot and mouth disease over and over again until William comes in. And William's like, I'm staying with Jesse. See you later. And he's like, will you be back tomorrow? He's like, I don't know. We'll play it by ear. And you see Randall just sort of being like, oh,

"All right, you used to be here and now you're somewhere else." So when William finally comes home, he's like, "Hey man, you think we've bonded?" He's like, "Because I thought we kind of bonded and you kicking him with the family. Why is it so easy then for you?" 'Cause I think Randall's always just sort of fearful of being not enough. - Abandoned. - Abandoned, whatnot. And so they have this conversation

And I don't like, I'm saying this as an audience member, truly, I got moved watching these two men saying like, the end is real, right? I can feel it. The medicine's not working anymore. Jesse's gone through these things before. He can help me find an assisted living place to where I can finish this. And he's like, whoa.

"What are you talking about? This is your home. Like, this is where you'll be." And he's like, "I don't know if he's like, I can take it." And you see him sort of like, it's not about me per se, but it is about, we're going to be together. Right? Jesse can be with us too. We're all going to be together.

And it's interesting, and quick sidebar, and I won't take too much time, because my mom lives with ALS, which is also Lou Gehrig's disease. She's lived with it, diagnosed in April of 2018.

and lost speech around October of 2018. So for a long time, I had these interesting thoughts of like, will my mom be around to see the end of the show? Will she be able to survive and she's still with us? But like being able to bear witness, it is something. And I think about this with Rebecca too, to be in the presence of someone as they're slowly sort of drifting off. Not everyone has the constitution for it. I can see different people in my family who have a tough time being in the space.

But sometimes you just, and as we kids, if we fast forward to season six, you can see us also sort of like figuring out exactly how to be in the presence of that, right? And you just cherish what is in front of you while it's in front of you. Yes.

- That's it. - Yeah. - That's it. However it shows up, however they show up, just cherish that you get a chance to spend that time with them while you can. And I think I was seeing Randall say that to his father, like, "I love this. I love you. However you are, it's gonna be okay." And see him sort of like almost be kind of Jack, like, "It's gonna be all right." Even though it's not gonna be all right, but it's gonna be, we're gonna be together through that thing to the end, man.

It hit, it hit. It hit in the real world. - Yeah, that was an echo of Jack Pearson's son for sure. - Yeah, yeah, for sure. So that was that one. Do you wanna hold off on talking about Kev? - Yeah, we'll talk to- - In this section, because we're gonna have a special guest on. Milana is gonna join us so we can talk to her about life outside of selling cell phones and her time on our show, which was pretty awesome. We'll be right back. Guys, we're back.

That was us. This is episode 111, and we have a special guest today.

I'm gonna mess up your last name, so you have to help me. It's Milana, but I... That's fine. Vintrub. Oh, Vintrub. Vintrub, who you may know from many, many phone commercials, but before all of that, well, actually before and after all of that, she also came and played with us on This Is Us. How are you doing, my dear? Hello. Hi, I'm doing so good. I'm so happy to see you all. Yeah, good to see you too. It's great to see you. All grown and changed so much. That's right.

I think so. You look the same. Yeah. You do. You look absolutely stunning. Thanks. Thanks. I'm just very sweaty. I think that's it. Listen. That must be it. It's a glisten. It's a glisten. A dewiness. We're well hydrated. That's what's happening right now. We're all parents, so we have a low undertone now of exhaustion, which leads to kind of a laissez-faire attitude. Exhaustion and elation. Yeah. Makes us seem...

- There you go. - Yes, we're very French, but like no cigarette. It's the same vibe. You do it. - I'm very happy to, how you say, be here. - Be alive. - Yeah, be alive. It's a wonderful thing to be alive.

It's fine. I'll take it or leave it. Le joie de vivre. I like it. I like it. Sully, how old is your kid? I have a three and a half year old son and a one and a half year old daughter. Yeah. Wow. Mazel tov. Congratulations. How old is your boy or girl?

- I got a boy who's three. - Who's three. We've been rewatching the show. As you know, this is a rewatch podcast. - Yeah. - We've been checking you out and how you do in this show. - Again. - And you're absolutely delightful. How many episodes did you wind up doing with us total? Four or five?

remember because I'm also re-watching with you guys so I'm at episode 11 now oh great that's where we are too I want to say 7 yeah that sounds about right because I'm like we have all of the play yeah yeah yeah stuff to be into that has yet to be explored in the last episode we talked about uh

the Hanukkah celebration. - Yes. - With you and Kevin. - You're fantastic. - So fantastic. - It's so charming and so sweet, but it's like, you don't miss any story points and also just like, well, that's history. You know what I'm saying? Like who gets to write it? Probably had some sisters and daughters too, but you know, history. - But it was written by men. - Yeah.

That was really fun. I kept like being like, I just want to make sure that I say all the Jewish words right. And there wasn't like a resident Jewish advisor on set. Wow. Yeah. So I ended up having to call like a cousin who teaches. I'm like, I mean, I really...

I'm representing a lot of people right now. - Gonna have to phone a friend. - I really wanna do this, right? - You did better than that. - I'm gonna have to phone a friend. - I did a reading of a movie with the Douglas family, Michael Douglas, Kirk Douglas, his son, Cameron Douglas, okay? And they are Jewish. And I did all the stage directions for this movie. And in doing the stage directions for the movie, I kept coming across a word that I didn't know. And I just said, Yarmulke.

And I said the word Yarmulke, I can't tell you how many times. And everybody watched me go through this thing. And like Audra McDonald, who's in this movie as well, like at the end of the movie, she goes, good.

- Good job. - No one corrected you? - Nobody corrected me. - Oh, Sterling. - For the whole dang thing. And I was like, "Yamaka don't look like how it's spelled." In case you ever encounter it, it don't look nothing like how it's spelled. - It's true. I'm sure everyone was trying to be nice by not correcting you, but actually, the long con of it is quite cruel. Yes.

So you're an established voice actor. You had had your own show. You also early on started online. Did I read that about you? I did.

Yeah. Wow. You're doing your research, Sully. Thank you. And so you did all of this. And so where were you in your life when This Is Us came around? Oh, that's such a good question. I think I was like boy crazy and heartbroken and just, you know, like in my late 20s, just...

figuring out myself. I don't quite remember where I was in my career. I just remember where I was emotionally. Hey, no, I feel that so far on the rewatch podcast. That's about all I have to, which is just like a whirlwind of being on this show. When you auditioned for this show,

It's hard for, we talk about the bubble that we were in making it, like not really realizing until we ended up out at the Critics' Choice Awards, was our first time like being out in public as a group, that This Is Us was a thing, like a bigger thing maybe than it was. What was it like auditioning for it? Was there a vibe around this or was it still kind of under the radar? It probably hadn't even started airing yet, I would imagine. How many episodes did we get before it started airing?

How many did we film? We had about six under our belt before it started to hit the air. Yeah, at least. So you were, the show itself was not something you had heard of. No, I don't think it was. I think maybe I had just shot when the trailer came out and that had a lot of big buzz. Right. Okay. Do you remember? That trailer went totally viral. Yeah. And everyone was crying at the promo. Yeah.

So I remember then being like, oh, this is really special. I'm a part of something special. Yeah.

And when you auditioned, did you know the sort of like breadth of like the job, like what the character was going to be and how long you were sort of like signing yourself up for? No, not at all. I was totally in the dark about what the trajectory of the character was. I actually think the piece that I auditioned with wasn't in the show. Really? Oh, wow. Yeah, I think they were just like, we want somebody who's a certain type of...

who can deliver these lines kind of naturally. So I think they cast probably a wide net and settled on me. Settled? I doubt there was any settling. Yeah, there was a real settling factor. First of all, how did you know? Everyone else is unavailable. Everyone else, yeah. Everyone else knows it was unavailable. I guess we'll go with Milanova.

No, but it is like we talked about for my character in episode 10 has a heart attack. And so in the episodic world of television, you never know how this is going to go. Is it going to go up or down? Especially when it comes to Kevin Pearson. Yeah. Will he, won't he, this egomaniacal? No, not this. This man of a certain fame. Yeah.

And a certain. He's like, yeah, he's like ego broken. I mean, like in this episode, they refer to him as a failed sitcom actor. That's right. You know, who's like just trying to matter, trying so hard to matter. And I think in looking at the time, because I was so invested in my character, I was genuinely heartbroken about,

when she was heartbroken. - Yeah. - Sure. - And I was genuinely mad at him when I was mad at him. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And now looking back with some compassion, I'm like, oh, of course he wants just like the more famous woman. Of course, he's just in this ego feeding frenzy. - Sure. - Sure. - You know what, it's interesting that you say that. So talking a little bit about that storyline, 'cause we haven't really addressed it in full. We open up this episode on your storyline with Kev,

and Sloane in the midst of rehearsing and they're like finishing off the play. - Yeah. - And there's this gorgeous scene. I need to know who plays Ron, the director, because this dude- - Oh my God, is so good. - Is hysterical. - He's hysterical. - Like he just sits there and is like,

- Waiting, and you guys are waiting with bated breath. Like, is this good? Is it bad? Did you like it or whatever? It's like, you know, when I first heard that you, this failed sitcom actor was going to like turn into a vanity project and the playwright was going to replace like a Tony nominated or Tony winning actors or whatnot, I, you know,

I don't know how he ends it, but he ends it like on an ellipses where Kevin's like, is that all you have to say? Is that it? Is that what he's like? - Is there more? - He's like, oh, there's more, there's more. And he says, and I actually see like you guys are really winning together. There's a charm, a connection. You guys seem really beautiful. And there's a really cute, just lovely moment of seeing you guys be connected with each other. - Yeah, embrace and you're excited. - And seeing something that could have like potential for Kev after,

Olivia was such a see you next Tuesday. Like the last time we saw this chick, she invites her ex-boyfriend up to my cabin. Right? Yeah. After they have this kiss, like what's wrong with you? And steals Sloane's rental car. She's on her way to visit her pregnant sister. Yeah, who's having a baby. I mean, it's just like the level of selfishness. The degree of selfishness is just out of...

- This world. - And wide. So the fact that you put up with all that and that you guys wound up together. So at the end of the cabin, we see you under the covers. You're with my brother and you're like, "Hi, Kate." Da-da-da-da. I was like, "Okay." - Knockin' boots. - Kev can't really be alone, right? But we're hoping that maybe something good can come from it. And I think after watching the Christmas episode too, and that scene with your family, who is just giving you all kinds of delightful shade,

But you have somebody sort of have your back and be like, hey, people don't believe in us. People discount you. Discount you. They discount me. Let's take a bet on ourselves. And you're like, hey, maybe this ragtag bunch will figure it out, right? And so then at the end of the thing, I think there's also one of the first walk-in talks where we have like,

You and Kev go through like a space. The backstage. Which is kind of cool to see like a little, with Busfield as the director. Yeah. Director was a West Wing director. That's what I'm saying. With Busfield as the director, we have our first little walk and talk around the corner. I love that nod. I'm like, look at that little throwback. And then here she comes again in her blonde wig.

After her ayahuasca experience. Where she's like howling with the wolves. Ahead of her time. Ahead of her time. Yeah, with the ayahuasca. Where she talks about howling with the wolves. She does like seven different things that she's done. And Kev goes, wow, you did all that in a month? And you can see...

There's an automatic like, oh, where do I fit now? That Sloane sort of translates like, all right, this chick is back now. What does that mean? Sure. So I think what's the next thing we see is that, is he talking to her? Is he talking to Olivia? The director comes up, the play director, and he's like...

-Thank God you're back. -Right. I didn't know what I was gonna do. After he just said that we might have something quite magical, he takes it all back. Takes it all back instantaneously. And so, I'm trying to-- What's between-- Is there anything between that scene and watching Kev talk to Olivia?

that's the next thing that happens. Also in that walk and talk, I'm sure this, I'm sure so many actors can relate to this, but anytime you have to like comment on yourself as less than you have to like, cause there's a part in that dialogue where I say, and I can't imagine why a guy like you would want to be with a person like me. I'm a little bit like as Milana, I have to take a hit being like, yeah, cause I'm garbage. Uh, sure. I can, I can buy that. I'm garbage. Yeah.

welcome to the first five seasons for me on this show yeah yeah yeah it's awful you just have to do it anytime there's like a comment on yourself you have to like lean into like no no no this is just a insecure person regardless of the appearance would feel less than but but then olivia walks up and i'm like oh right no that makes sense she's stunning

But then as I'm rewatching the show, I commented in episode 10 that I'm like, of course, Sloane is the person that Kevin should be with. Be with, yeah. Which is why he won't be. Right. Because he makes weird decisions.

- And they kind of deserve each other. They're both kind of egomaniacs at this point. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I think also there's a certain thing that like we haven't yet discovered about Kev too, in terms of like the torch that burns for him. - Oh, yes, yes. - You know what I'm saying? Like, I feel like they're, I don't know, like he's sort of just like constantly in flux

and is happy to sort of just go where the wind takes him. - Sure. - Because sort of being rooted is something that scares him. - Sure. - Because without saying too much, because he'd been rooted before and it was unsuccessful. - Sure. - Right? - Yes. - Does that make sense? - It does. - Information we don't-- - If you guys will tease. - Information we don't know yet as the audience. - Yeah, things that we don't know yet as the audience. But so listening to you listen to that conversation between Kevin and Olivia,

where like the first part of it is good. Like, yo, I'm gonna go with Sloane for a play. She didn't abandon it. She wrote it. She's really great in it. - Yeah. She's committed. - You know what I'm saying? Like, that's like, I feel like that's the way that I need to go and I need to honor the fact that she's sort of honored us in that way. And Olivia's like, okay. - But what about you and I? - But what about you and I? And he's like,

I'm going to keep James Long. He says it almost like, hey, you know, it's the right thing to do. Even if it's not what I want to do, it's the right thing. And I was like, why does that caveat have to exist? Why do you have to say that out loud? Like, it was so icky. Well, here's the thing. He wasn't. Well, this. Okay. No, no. What's the thing, Sterling? Yeah. What is the thing? Tell us the thing.

It wasn't meant for her to hear. - Sure, but it just didn't need to be said. - Yeah, I agree. Okay, I just love my brother and I'm trying to find something to like lift him up. He didn't say it right, did he? - No. - If we are giving him credit, he's almost saying it to make Olivia feel better.

Like he's saying like, of course I want to be with you. But this is what I have to do. This is the right thing to do. That is highly generous. That is way too generous. This person is, in my mind, I was watching it. I was like, she is so undeserving. Like the fact that he was like, I'm doing the play with Sloane because she didn't leave us. She's committed. She wrote this. And then Olivia has the audacity to be like, okay, okay. Well then what about us? I was like, what an icky question. And then how does this see you next Tuesday end it?

I'm going to go off and have sex with like the first random person that I see and drink my, I was like, yeah, that's why we did it. Yeah, go enjoy your life. But this is also, this is the scene as an actor when you've been asked to be on a show that you read it and you're like, God damn it. No, I want him to profess his undying love for Sloane for three to four seasons. Yeah.

Well, what was particularly cruel, I think, for Sloane is that she never really got to tell him off. Yeah. Like, you know, again, I'm kind of going into the future and I'm not going to do that too much. But like, I just I want justice for Sloane. Hashtag justice for Sloane. Yeah. Let's do it now. Yeah.

- Yeah, what would you, if Sloane had the opportunity, what would she have said that the writers did not give us an opportunity to tell that man? - Sweet Kevin, what an idiot you are. - Yeah. - Look at these perfect breasts. No. Look at what you're passing up. - Period. - Consistently. - Period. - You are the problem. Everywhere you go, there you are.

- Thank you for doing my play. - Excellent. - That's it! - That is it. - And Kevin would have said, "You're not wrong." - Perfect impression. - Thanks. - You are-- - Artnerships. - Not wrong. - That's it. That is quintessential Justin. - That is quintessential Justin Hartley. - This gesture is my favorite. - When you were on this show, did you,

people, did it change the way you moved through the world? Because people always had questions for us when the show first started about like, what's going to happen? How's it going to go? Did you have any of that? I don't think so. There was one time where I was asked to present at some event and they introduced me as the star of This Is Us and I came out and I could feel everyone being disappointed that I wasn't Mandy Moore. And so my first part was...

I'm so sorry I'm not Mandy. Anyway, I'd like to present this award for... So, like, if anything, it just created hype around me that was probably undeserved. That is not true, Milana. That is hilarious.

But no, if anything, I think, you know, it was at that time I'd pretty much only done comedy and really since. And so from like as a creative person, it's such a good exercise in being present in this way that doesn't have a punchline. And I actually found it a lot harder than comedy. I feel like, you know, people usually have their lane. And I yeah, I mean, what a trip. Like what? Also for that episode, for the

Christmas episode to be directed by Helen was like so magical to have that as our acting coach. Yeah. That was really, I think when we talk about like, how did it change our lives for me, having her guide me in scenes was profound. Oh, that's true. That's really cool. She's kind of awesome. Yeah. She's amazing. She's amazing. And, and, and just, she's one of those,

We talk about how on the show that we're not sure if they did it on purpose, but they insert all of these personalities who are from our television past. Yeah. Like Dr. K and even Milo is from two other hit TV shows. You know what I mean? And there's like all of these that make it feel familiar. And Helen Hunt is one of those. Like the number of episodes of television I watched her on, you know. Yeah.

I had a crush. I did have a crush on Helen. Of course. Who didn't? It was a special occurrence. And then Tim Busfield, of course. That's such a great... I've never thought about that. But yes, the show is so much about nostalgia that they bring that into the set. Yeah. Yeah. How cool. In kind of a sly...

of just like these people are stars. - Yeah, we've had Brad Garrett, Katie Segal. - Yeah, yeah. - Pop up. - Just in the first season. - Perkins. - Yeah, yeah. Just these first 10, 11 episodes. - Jamie Girtz. - That's right. - Yeah, there's been quite a few. - Milana Vayntrup. - Milana Vayntrup, you know what I'm saying? - Just adding to the litany. - From your youth. - I remember the first time I saw Milana on YouTube.

Dude, your phone empire, it feels like it's been... Has it been 10 years? Has this...

The gig been going for, it's been going for a minute. The commercials? The commercials. Which you also now direct, don't you, Milana? Yes. Yeah. Oh, I know. We're Instagram friends. I'm always like, yes, ma'am, a real boss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not just in this. I'm going to run this now. Yeah, I'm going to run the show too. It's a real gift. I mean, the best part, as you guys know, on any production is that you get to work with people that you love. And so when you get to hire the people, it's,

It's all you can ask for. That's so cool. Which is why we brought you here. If I could be in one of those commercials. This is the long game. We're all looking for a gig. To try to get in a commercial. It's hard out here. Things are slim. We are doing podcasts now. Just remember us next time you're casting a commercial. You're all hired. You're all in. Yes! I need a gaffer.

You heard it here. I do craft service. You do craft? Perfect. I could see you with the snacks. I do the best snacks. I'll do like hair and makeup or something. Sure. I don't think I have any other skills. I'm sorry.

You're worthless. Thank you so much for coming and talking to us. Oh, what a dream. Thanks for having me. You are so incredible on the show. Your energy, your presence, like everything you brought, it's so understandable why Kevin would fall in love with you and choose to be with you. And then change his mind. Even if it was short-lived, we were all rooting for you. For sure. Thank you for joining us.

My pleasure. Thanks for having me. Anytime. Thank you. Have a good day. We'll be right back with more That Was Us.

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♪♪

All right. Welcome back. Welcome back to our favorite part of every episode, our fan segment. And today we have a Q&A, a straight up good old fashioned Q&A. You guys got the Qs? We got the As. That's right. Perfect. Come on. Let's do it. Let's see what people ask. Let's throw some up here on the screen and we will see what y'all want to know. Wow. This is something I feel like that comes up just about every episode. I'm curious about

for you, Sterling, because when we started the show, you did have your two boys, but Amari was a teeny tiny little baby. And for those not watching on YouTube, if you are listening...

And you're like, that sound. The question from Chris Funko Pop, first of all. I know about Funko Pops, Chris. Don't think I don't know. How has re-watching the show changed your view on parenting? Changed my view on parenting. You know what? I think I was...

sort of in the pocket of how I felt about parenting. - It's not gonna change. - No, I'm pretty stiff and rigid in most things that I do. - Some might call it fossilized. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Calcified. - In my ways. - I think of anything, it sort of has given me permission to be more forgiving with myself. - There you go. - I think that's like,

even if your best efforts, mistakes will happen. Mistakes don't mean you haven't done your best. It's just part of life. Everybody makes mistakes. So the same grace that you would give to a co-star, to a friend, to your child, you have to learn to give to yourself as well. - Sure, I love that. - What about you guys?

I think as you've brought up many times, Chris, like this show is a manual for how to live life. And I feel like as a parent, it does just that as well. Like there's so many times during episodes where I'm like, wow, I haven't even thought about that chapter or that juncture of being a parent and what childhood must feel like. We're so far away from that, but like this is such a

great example of how to handle it. I have found myself saying that about Beth and Randall, obviously in later seasons with Toby and Kate and with Jack and Rebecca, obviously, it's really, that's been illuminating to me. It's like, wow, this is, when we do find ourselves in these kinds of particular situations, this is the perfect way to handle something.

Yeah. I feel like it's reminding me to slow down and to not just to appreciate the moments for myself, but to allow these moments to sink in for my children, even if they are pre-memory or whatever. Like just this morning, Ifo wanted to be held and she wanted to be held in a way that was

Like a baby. Like she's now a toddler. But she like laid in my arms. And a lot of times these days, like I'm rushing around, I'm trying to get out of the house. You need to eat. Get dressed. And I need to just remember just to stop and just let that moment be. And just let her lay there and just gaze at each other.

Because I'm not going to get to hold her like that for much longer. No, you won't. And I really think that the show is helping remind me of that on a daily. I love that. And also, have you guys seen, I feel like I've seen this like,

meme on Instagram a lot lately. Like, yes, it's your children's childhood, but it's also your parenthood. Like stop to appreciate that as well. - That's right. - So I feel like the show is also in that same vein, like a great reminder of like, this is our one and only chance of being a parent to a toddler who still wants to be held like a baby on occasion. Like, man, yeah. - Amen. - Crazy. - Okay, what's next?

- Yeah. - Yeah. - This is from OliviaRA13. "What was everyone's favorite couple/ship on the show? I'm a Kevin Sophie girl all the way. LOL."

I guess you can pick a favorite Kevin ship because he had so many of them. I don't like to compare and contrast like the other couples on the show unless we're talking about Phillip and Kate versus Toby and Kate. I mean, all love to Chris. We already know, big homie. I'm like, all love to Chris here, but, you know, come on. But, I mean, it's really hard to beat Randall and Beth.

It really is. It's really hard. Even as incredible as the romance between Jack and Rebecca is. Why do you say that? I'm curious as to why you say that. And if you believe that. I believe that. Do you? Yes. You guys have to tell me why. Because I think we, I love it because we get to see both really in depth, get to see both sides of the relationship. The before. Uh-huh.

I hear you. And the after. So like we were just talking about parenting. Like we could see the way they were parented and the way they are parenting. Sure. And there's something about that, the fullness of that, the telling of that story and the way they're doing it and the attitude they have towards each other and the love they have and the sexiness that they have towards each other. Yes, all of that. That I just...

I want more of. Yeah, I agree. And it's like, it's so very different than Jack and Rebecca. Like, I just, I can't get enough of the two of you on screen together, even when there is repair to be addressed. Even when we're in the phase of, you know, Randall and Beth just sort of like missing each other, like two ships passing in the night. I don't want to say I love seeing Beth be mad. I do want to say I love watching Susan be mad. Watching Susan be mad.

- I think there's so much comedy too, to what you guys are able to bring to the characters. That's not really a part of Jack and Rebecca's gig. Like that's not who they are. It's just not, it's not who I am. It's not the way those characters were written. Yeah, exactly. But you guys got to have so much levity and so much fun with each other.

-A lot of lessons there. -Yeah. And the way you parent, like, it's just so interesting, again, like, watching this sort of, like, delineation between, like, who Randall was

where he came from, what Jack and Rebecca instilled in him, and then how he translates that into being a parent that I think is just really illuminating as well that I love watching. Yeah. No, that's all good. That's good stuff. I love them too. I'm biased, so that's why I had to ask you. We're going to leave it at that. We're going to leave it at that. We don't need to get into anything else. On to the next. R&B.

This is one of my favorites. Now, does Mandy Moore exist in the This Is Us universe? Did Kate sob through Walk to Remember like the rest of us? This is a valid question because a Walk to Remember, or just Walk to Remember, Walk to Remember would have been a Kate Pearson movie. Sure, but I am absolutely saying she does not exist. I do not exist.

In this weird sliding doors? No. I think there's just like. It would have been a nice little nod to be like, you know, watching them rock out to it. Oh, no, no. Kate was an Alanis Morissette girl. Probably. Mandy Moore was like way too dorky for her. She's pretty emo. Yeah. She was like not watching TRL. Yeah. Alanis in public. Mandy Moore in her room. I was watching TRL. Reading Bop magazine. What's the next one? What do we got?

Debbie! Biggest insecurity and how you find peace with it. Also, favorite thing quality about yourself. Oh, Lord. You're giving softball questions. Yeah, exactly. That I'm not good enough. I feel that. For anyone. Yeah. For my children, for my wife, for my friends. I need...

I need a lot of reinforcement from those people. And I try very hard not to put that on them. Yeah. Children, friends, wife, family. Sure, I hear you. While still trying to get it, which is a tricky balance. Yeah, but it is.

Because I also, so how I find peace with it, I haven't found peace with it. How I try to handle it is I try to be honest about it. Yeah. So that if family, friends,

Not so much children. I don't need to put that on them just yet. That's to come. But I will say when either one of them just walks up to me and puts their arms out and wants that hug and comes in for that big squeeze, I hold them and I just go, thank you. Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm just honest about it. As you're showing right now. It's the best way that I can come to peace with it. What about a favorite thing or quality about yourself? My ass. I'm not going to argue with that. No, it's a flatter buttocks. It's still... That's something for me. It's a flatter buttocks. I've told you this. I might...

being in the gym my back when I catch myself from the rear my back is always bigger than I think and my butt's always smaller which I'm very disappointed in uh my favorite thing or quality about myself um yeah that's a hard one for me which is also probably one of my big insecurities um

So insecurity, this is real, I didn't anticipate going into that. If you say your abs, I swear to God. No, but it has to do with just being physically attractive. Because growing up, I did not feel attractive at all. I had very few people who, in my opinion, that were checking for your boy. And I have very low self-esteem with regards to my appearance. I think

Being in the Midwest, being a dark skinned black guy where like folks who are fair skin sort of got more attention were called the pretty boys or what have you. Like I did not feel attractive until later in life. And then sometimes when people say like, hey man, looking good. I'll be like, right on. And sort of like dismiss it to just keep it moving on. I think it's one of the reasons why I probably started working out was like, well, I want something to look good on me. And at least I can have control over that.

All right. So that's that. Biggest favorite thing about myself is that I truly do believe that I try to elevate the energy of whatever room that I'm in and make it a more positive experience for myself and for anybody else that's in it. I just feel like life is too short to be...

not striving or trying to be a beacon of joy. It just feels good. It doesn't always mean you're going to be happy, silly giddy, but like you can hopefully know that you're in the presence of warmth and love when you are in my presence. So that's,

To affirm you on both cases, first of all, I want you. Chris is in love with you. It's a come full circle. You're one of them. Go on. You're just like, cut it out. You're a very attractive person. Thank you, sir. And I mean that on all levels. Thank you. You do elevate the...

charisma of the room. All ships rise when Sterling is in the room. - Yes. - I appreciate that, thank you. - I often like refer to you in my mind, I'm like Sterling for president. Just truly, I'm like if anyone couldn't unite this crazy world that we live in, it's Sterling K. Brown. Everything you just bring to the planet. - Remember that. - Yeah, it's like at all times. - Thank you, Amanda Lee. You have to answer now too, come on.

I kind of feel in line with Chris about the insecurity of feeling like enough, feeling deserving of all of the incredible gifts that have sort of come my way in this lifetime. How I make peace with it, just working in therapy, talking about it, being honest, being vulnerable, not shying away from it, not feeling like the work is ever sort of done.

And recognizing like this is something that I will carry around with me probably forever for the foreseeable future and that's okay. Like I think it informs the way I move through the world and the choices I make and I'm okay with that for the most part. When I can like dig a little deeper and start to like excavate where does it come from? When did it sort of first sort of show up? It definitely has roots in like

and being a young person and things sort of coming to me in a way that felt, you know, seemingly easy. Yeah. And so like there's a lot wrapped up in that. I hear you. I would say my favorite thing about myself

It's hard to talk about what my favorite thing is. Maybe the kind of friend I am, the kind of partner I am, like hopefully the kindness I try to show to the people that I love in my life. That's something that matters to me. That's true. I think it's very interesting what you – these things are kind of –

It collides with what we talked about in the last question about this is our parenthood. And we're not only parenting toddlers, we're reparenting ourselves through the process of parenting and trying to work through these things. Because even if these are, insecurity is one thing.

And to acknowledge it is helpful for me anyways, to be honest about it. It only becomes problematic when it leads me to mistreat myself or someone else. Yes. Right? If it informs the way I behave towards my children or my partner. Yeah, it's like I don't want to model that to my children. Right. But also to realize how old a feeling it is. Yeah. And that these feelings...

don't belong to us anymore. Yeah. But they still exist. Like, they still-- we still remember. Sometimes I think it's just me remembering what it felt like to feel that way. -Yeah. -And I don't actually feel that way. -Sure. -That is profound. And to, like, let it go. To let the feeling pass and to realize that

Feelings aren't facts. - Yeah, and you don't have to take that on. - They come, they go. There's ups, there's downs. - You can just take notice of it. - Yeah, let it wash over you. Kind of like in meditation or something. - And let them go. - Let me say, so just to affirm you, Mandy Moore, I remember I was having a conversation with Mark Duplass and I did this movie with him. This is, he goes, "Who do you think in your cast, "what I'd be surprised about, "I would wanna work with "that I don't know that I wanna work with?" And I was like, "You wanna work with Mandy Moore?"

And I said, "Mandy Moore is one of the hardest working people I've ever met." And like the thing that I think about when I think of you, and maybe this comes from this, the feeling of the things coming too easy is because no one's gonna outwork you. So like you don't show up like a diva or what people would call a diva. Like you show up prepared, ready and locked in. Like, and I describe in terms of the way in which you love and care for the people who are your tribe, there's a fierceness about you.

Mandy Moore Brooks, no nonsense. Let it be clear. Brooks, no nonsense. The cuteness of the cheeks.

The beauty of the face. Don't let it fool you. Mandy Moore don't take no mess. And it's not a difficult thing. It's just like, if somebody is out of pocket. I remember that. I remember the first time I saw the switch where Mandy was like, you out of pocket. You're out of pocket. There's a shift. You're out of time. There's a shift. Yeah. We're not doing that. Yeah. We are not doing that. Moving on.

Moving on. Thank you, Sterling. You're welcome. That means the world. Real talk. Thank you. That was a little Q&A. I didn't realize that fan segment was going to go so deep. I didn't either. I was like, oh, we're going there. Yeah. But that's kind of the magic of the show, right? It really is. The magic of...

the kinds of questions that our show elicits from people and they they're curious about with us and i'm happy to have the opportunity to be able to answer them and if you want to go there with us come on send us your emails at that was us pod gmail.com we want to hear how you relate to the show we want to hear your questions we want to

know what you want us to talk about so we can have this discussion with you. Or you can call us on our emotional support hotline at 412-501-3028.

Leave us a message. Maybe we'll call you back. Yeah. Have a little conversation. We've been known to do that. Yeah. We look forward to connecting with you. Hope you guys are enjoying re-watching the show and watching us talk about re-watching the show as much as we've enjoyed doing it and sharing it with you. And really, if you want to support the podcast, rate, review. Subscribe. This is the way. Subscribe. Yeah. This is how the podcast, we spread the word. Help grow the show. Grow the show. Tell one person to subscribe along with you. Yeah.

And you can also support our sponsors. That's right. There's a great way to support the show. Amen. So thanks for tuning in. Thanks for tuning in. Good to see you guys. We'll see you next time. See you next week. That Was Us. Baby. That Was Us is filmed at The Crow and produced by Rabbit Grin Productions and Sarah Warehunt. Music by Taylor Goldsmith and Griffin Goldsmith.