Kate and Toby Get Married | "The Wedding" (S2E18)
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On today's episode of That Was Us, we'll be discussing Season 2, Episode 18, The Wedding. As Kate prepares to marry Toby, she struggles with the absence of Jack and embarks on a journey to find closure. Meanwhile, Randall and Beth navigate days of shifting attitude. Toby confronts his parents' doubts about his marriage. And Kevin, Randall, and Rebecca try to give Kate the perfect wedding she deserves. Mandy. Chris.

How are you, Sterling? What's going on, fellas? Everybody? Hello, hello. I said fellas. I know. Fellas and lady. Fellas and lady. Fella, lady. Rach and I were out to dinner the other night and the server called us both men. What can I get you two blokes? I can't remember what he said, but it was like clearly he thought we were both men.

She has a very short haircut. She does. It's all shaved on the side. And she's looking at the menu. We're going to get you gentlemen. If he saw the face, there's no way. Come on. No way to tell. That's when he was like, lady, lady, lady. I mean, lady. Gang, we're at the end. Of season two. Of season two. Can you even believe it?

How did we get here? This is, you know, we take some breaks or whatever to go do little TV shows, have some babies, all this kind of stuff. But we're already at the end of season two. Flying. It's moving. Yeah, we're a third of the way through. A third of the way through. And we keep coming up with like special episodes for guests just to do stuff. And we're still a third of the way through. That's right. And at the end of this episode, something really beautiful happens. We finally get a chance to make Katobi a

That's right. They're coming together. It's Kate and Toby's time where they decide to get married. At the family cabin. How does Toby feel about getting hitched at the family cabin? I mean, he feels all right about it. He's good. Yeah, he's good. I think we've learned so far. Toby's kind of good. He's kind of a good guy.

- He's agreeable. - He's agreeable. I think the biggest thing- - For better or worse. - Is that he wanted to have the wedding. Like I think Kate at some point in time was like, let's just keep it simple, small. And Toby's like, this should be something to be remembered. - Yeah, a thing. - Yeah, and celebrated. - Let's make it a thing. - Let me ask you guys. - Yeah. - Was that a wedding, one of your weddings? - Yeah. - Which one was your favorite? - Yes, we can clarify. We had a small,

ceremony at our house with a few people. And then we opened up and had a larger reception with more people. And you guys were lovely enough to come to the reception. And that's really felt like the wedding. Like, was it always how you imagined in your mind? Were you and Taylor of one mind going into it? Or did you guys have to like find the compromise together?

I think we were kind of of one mind going into it. We knew we wanted to get married at home and keep it small, but then we also had a lot of people that we loved that we wanted to celebrate with. So I feel like we found a good middle ground. I got you. What about you? It was beautiful. We had two weddings. You did? Like almost two full weddings. Wow. Really? Oh, that's right. Yeah, I think I told you. I remember. Well, we had like 180 people at our wedding. Whoa. Big wedding. In Chicago. Okay. Yeah.

And we had to cap it because Rachel's family is like hundreds of people. Sure. She's lived in this one town. Her family's lived in this one town for like four generations. Were people upset? Boy. Oh, bro. When it comes to that guest list, yeah. Let me tell you, some people were upset. Yeah. Some people were upset. So we had essentially a whole nother wedding in Rachel's hometown. Rachel put the dress back on. We went to a hotel convo.

conference room, had a whole other meal, had dancing, had all these things. How close were these two weddings together? A couple of months. A couple of months. Yeah, a few months. But it was just hard. Yeah, it was hard to do. Like, did people know that they didn't make the first wedding? Of course. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

- Of course they did. - They felt slighted. - Yes. Oh yes. - So much energy to contend. - I can think of one family member on Rachel's side who I don't remember his name, which is why you're at this. - You're table 92, sir. - Who spent the entirety of that one reminding us that he was not invited to the first one. And I of course thought it was hilarious. I was like, this is hilarious.

I mean, what's your name, sir? Yeah, yeah. Let me figure out why you weren't there. Well, who are you? Yeah, so it was an interesting-- they were all interesting. They were beautiful. Our first-- both weddings were beautiful. Sure.

I loved our first one better. We had two. We sort of eloped in the back of a friend's house, two dear friends of ours from undergrad who married each other, just so we've known each other since we were freshmen. They had a lovely ceremony for us, and then we went to the Montecito Inn for a quick little getaway, and then I tested for a pilot. I think I tested for numbers. Oh, okay.

That's how long ago I got married. And I had tested for like four characters and didn't get them. Come on. But it was cool. How pissed is numbers? I was going to say, they're checking themselves. We couldn't figure out one part for Sterling Brown. But it was lovely. And then, as you guys know, I think it was 14 months before we had...

The larger ceremony or whatnot. But the 14 months in between, my wife gave me a mandate not to tell anybody. Sure. I think you've mentioned this a little bit. There are some people who did not like the elopement.

Yeah, I think that was Ryan's biggest concern was that, you know, her family would not have been a part of the whole ceremony, et cetera. And so we had about a hundred at, and it was at the back of her parents' home, her parents' 14,000 square foot home, right? That overlooks like this reservoir. And it was really beautiful and pretty. And it was a great party.

And I remember as the groom, I remember because her parents had people that they wanted to invite. And there was a certain number that I had to sort of trim back my list, thinking that the fellas would understand. I can't tell you how many dudes would be like, hey, man.

"How come I didn't get to come to the wedding?" I was like, "Yo, bro, honestly, that's on me. I'm sorry. I was trying to accommodate all these other sort of things." But I didn't think the wedding is a thing. I thought dudes would be kind of like, "Oh, no big deal. I'll go watch the game." They're like, "Hey, man." Yeah. Yeah. So it was a tough one. At this stage of my life, I just want, I'll put it on the record right now, anyone who's thinking to me about cutting me off the wedding list, that's fine.

Chris is okay. Not getting that invite. I'm okay. I'll send something. I'll send you something nice. I'm at this place now where I look forward to them because there's not as many to look forward to. Sure. We're at an age where, yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? We're at an age now where it's either happened or hasn't happened or whatnot. Now I actually look forward to young people. Like I had an assistant for four years, Haley Garrison, who I absolutely adore.

Like, I want to go to her wedding. I want to see how that plays out. I'm excited for it. A wedding is an interesting thing. It is a microcosm of your life together. Yeah. Right? It's the really first and maybe only time

That all of your family will be in the same place. Sure. Only time, probably. Both families will be in the same place. It's a practice in negotiation. It's a practice in boundaries. Yeah. It's a practice in financial planning. It's like all of the little things that you need to be a successful couple are crammed into one pressure cooker of an event. Yeah.

if it ends up being a pressure. Sure. It doesn't have to be. Yeah. And then you just see how the day unfolds. It is really true. I mean, there's so much. I remember Rye –

I was wondering, I was like, are you having fun? Because she has in her mind exactly how she wants it to go. And if it doesn't go. And inevitably, it never goes exactly the way that you want it to go. And I think I was like, everybody else was having the greatest time. She had her ode to her first Thanksgiving, and then we'll get into the episode. So she wanted this outdoor long table where everybody sat down. And it was like- Family tale, family table. It was like 50 on a side. Yeah.

Table going all the way down. Family style. We got up to dance our first dance to Donny Hathaway's Love, Love, Love. And as we're dancing and I'm dipping her, I think God shed a tear or two and it deluged. Gang.

Not a sprinkle, a deluge. Everybody had the caterers were like clearing the table, doing all this because the house is 14,000 square feet. Like we were able to go into like the downstairs of the house and everybody was cool. The waiters and stuff started hanging out, played some, and it became a house party.

And it was great. I'm sure. Oh, that's so cool. Great story. It was great. I don't know, thinks, if it was great. Sure, sure, sure. But everybody had a wonderful night. That sounds so fun. It was cool. It was very, very cool. We made our wedding cake out of wheels of cheese.

We didn't, we're not big cake people. We had dessert, but instead, so we had our, our, our ceremony and then we did like a little cocktail hour with wine and stuff and cheese. And so we got, I went to, uh, to whole foods and bought like whole wheels of cheese in descending size. And then the caterer decorated it with like flowers and ribbons. And then the first thing we did as husband and wife was cut the cheese.

That feels very appropriate. That's on brand. Yeah, that's part of the reason they did it, so I could tell you that today. That's on brand. I dig it. Okay, so we're talking about their wedding and whatnot. But the whole episode starts off with...

a wedding, but it's not the wedding. This is interesting. So you know what? I watched this episode with my son, with my youngest son, Amari, who's nine, and he's watching it, and he's seeing Jack in this wedding. And he's watched a couple episodes with me before, and he goes, "Wait a minute. Is this real?"

And I said, "I think it's a dream, buddy." He goes, "Cause your dad, he..." Like, it took him a second to be like, "He's not supposed to be there." I was like, "No, he's not supposed to be there." So she's imagining what it would be like, right? - Yeah, Kate has been having these dreams leading up to, as we'll find out, leading up to her own wedding. - Of like a vow renewal for her parents. And I believe it's the, is it the,

Their 40th? 40th. Yeah, it's their 40th anniversary. And they're doing a vow renewal. And then we quickly sort of jump, as you were saying, into present day. It's sort of day before the wedding. Toby just wants Kate to reassure him that she's not going to pull a runway bride on him. Yeah, don't runway bride me. Please don't runway bride me. And Kate gifts him...

with Leslie Nielsen's bow tie from Naked Gun 33 and a half. 33 and a third. And a third, yes. And a third, please, yeah. Sorry, sorry, not a half. Please, please, madam. Yeah. 33 and a half. Third. 33 and a third. Leslie Nielsen, comedic god. If you have not seen his super cut of him farting on talk shows, please look it up. Oh, I will. Right after this. Pause the podcast. Right now.

Go find it. And Google Leslie Nielsen farting on talk shows. I got to find this. That's it. Okay. Me too. Moving on. More That Was Us after these words from our sponsors. You know, something I've been thinking a lot about lately, especially doing this podcast, is how important it is to hold on to the moments that matter. Shutterfly believes those moments deserve a photo book, and I honestly couldn't agree more.

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Welcome back. I hope you enjoyed that video of Leslie Nielsen farting on podcasts. You are... Wait, come on. You guys have to help me out. I think Brown's a struggle with that. Everybody's getting ready. Everybody's getting ready for the wedding. Everybody's getting ready. And including... Kevin comes in. Kevin and Randall, who we...

Kevin comes in yelling at someone on the phone. Yeah, about the gift bags. Correct. What do you mean? Don't give me excuses. Just fix it. All right? And then it's a throwaway at the end. All right. Talk to you later, Randall. Yeah. And he's been talking to his brother. Just fix it. Yeah, fix it. This is his gesture. Oh, I love... You're so right. And...

And we've come to find out that Kevin and Randall are the wedding planners on the day of the wedding. Which I kind of, I knew all of the story plot points, but I'd forgotten that plot point, which brought me so much joy when I was rewatching this episode. Because it was also one of the only times that we see you two like playful. Sure. Yeah. Like not just getting along, but like.

Pointed in the same direction. Yeah. Witty banter in the writing. Yeah. Really fun. It was fun. Yeah. It was a lot of fun to do. And then we see...

Randall is getting ready at the house still, getting the bags together, but they're having a little bit of an issue with Deja. Deja's back in the house. Yes. Her mom has left, right? And now I think there's some sort of announcement that like all... Parental rights have been... Parental rights have been transferred to us, right? Yeah. And she's not super happy. She's a little moody about things.

doesn't necessarily want to go to the she talked about how stupid the cabin is etc etc but we're just trying to figure out like how to keep things it's a very different color for deja it's like you have this like very thoughtful quiet reserved but polite girl normally and to see her so like outwardly angry yeah rude yeah it's just like oh i can imagine as a parent it's like

What did I do? And Beth, I think, is she the one who says it? Like kind of, we're being held hostage by this attitude. Basically. So we get up there. We learn a couple things real quick right off the bat. Toby has parents. Yep.

And they're coming. And they're coming to the wedding. Oh, yes, because you leave at that scene with Kevin's like, "You need to go pick up your parents." Like, keep things moving along. And we quickly also learn that we have misplaced

This all kind of happens up front, right? The t-shirt that she wants to tie. Everybody's little missions are starting. But can I also interject this one thing that I feel like is part of the distinct fabric of our show? This is the invention of worst case scenario. Yes. Right?

Yes, don't skip it. It's the very first time, right? Yes, it's Randall and Beth playing Worst Case Scenario the first time, and it is genius. And it comes back in this episode with Randall and Kevin. That is correct. But it's great, because you guys basically... I'm like, this is...

an incredible it reminded me I'm like this is something to employ in my own relationship yeah do you think it is of benefit of ultimate I don't think it ever works out for anybody that plays the game I think it's just like voicing your like the biggest deepest fear that you may have about a certain situation right just like calling it out yeah and

It's quite funny because the two of them just go real dark real quick. It's therapy adjacent, right? We were talking about it the other day where it's like,

well, if I don't take care of this, what's the worst that could happen? Well, everything will fall apart. Everything. Right. And maybe just saying it out loud. Yeah, maybe just saying it out loud so that when what does unfold is not nearly as bad as what you talked about. Sure. Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah. Yeah, it was the intro for Worst Case Scenario. It was good. Because we were talking about her ending up on the pole like both of our children did. Yeah, both of us. Yeah, which got a little spicy there for a second. I was like, this is getting...

- This should be the end of this game. - I was like, yeah, let's end it right here. - Let's stop talking about this. - So you go to pick up your parents. - Yes. - We make it to the house. We find out that she can't find the shirt from Florida. - Dad's Daytona t-shirt. - Dad's Daytona shirt. - The t-shirt that he gives her at the pool. - Yeah. - Right. - Which was gonna be her something old. - And there's a flash to that. - Oh, right.

Okay, so she can't find it. So she's a little, you know, off center. Did you have anything blue or old at your wedding? Oh, that's a good question. I didn't. No? No. Did Rach? I don't think so. Did Rye? I don't know if my wife... I'm sure she did. I'm sure she did. So let me say that before. I don't know what they are. Okay. So she kept them to herself. Ryan, if you're listening, let us know. Let us know. I'll ask her for an answer. Get them.

So they start to find all the stuff in the house that they can that belonged to dad. And it's a lot of hard metal. There's hammers. A baseball bat. Right? Like we start talking about, we've got a lot of good options. Yeah. And she's like, you know what? I came up with something else. I'm all good. I'll see you guys in a minute. She's actually kind of cool. Yeah. About this whole thing. A little too cool. Given that she could have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she winds up going out, leaving the house and going to the ice cream shop that she used to go to with her dad. Yes.

And she's looking for butterscotch, is that? - Banana cream. - Banana cream. - Yeah. - Banana cream. And it's under new management. - Yes. - Is the ice cream shop. The sort of quaint place is now- - One of these fancy spots. - Yeah, it looks like they do some sort of fusion and all kinds of stuff. - They're putting blue cheese and stuff in the ice cream. Let's vote.

No. Are we into it? We like classic flavors. I mean, I love a little Jenny's and Salt and Straw. Yeah. Okay. You guys can feel her in some. I like a unique flavor. Okay. I'm not going to. How unique? Well, I would try.

- I will try the blue cheese. - Sure. - Like blue cheese and pear or something. That sounds good. - Sure, okay. - Yeah. - That doesn't sound terrible when you say it. - No, no. - Do you know that around Halloween that Salt and Straw puts blood in their ice cream? Have you heard about it? - What kind of blood? - Like blood, blood. - No, they don't. - Look it up. Pause the podcast, Google it.

Look it up. Sam, Google it. Salt and straw, seasonal blood ice cream. Look it up. They have a blood ice cream. Blood orange ice cream. Pause the podcast. Google it. Welcome back. Pretty fucked up, right? Chris, I'm going to make us have coffee before every episode. They did have some coffee right before the show. Chris and I just had some coffee after lunch, and man, we are buzzing. This is fantastic. There are some...

Salt and Straw's Dracula blood pudding ice cream is made with real blood and oh my God. Welcome back to the podcast. I am Chris Sullivan. I only speak the truth. You can't know it's not real blood. You have to read first. Pause the podcast. Stop! You can't put blood in ice cream! Anyways, she goes to the ice cream. Yes.

Pig's blood. What is this, Carrie? I'm just saying it can go too far. That's all I'm saying. That I agree with. Where's the cookies and cream? I guess we eat flesh, blood, ice cream. Oh my God. Listen, all I'm saying is she goes to this ice cream shop and it's now fancy. They didn't have the banana pudding. It's fancy town. He's got banana and coconut. She gives him two middle fingers and walks out. Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's exactly right. Then we...

Toby's parents. Toby's parents. Let's do that. Yeah. Let's do that. Played by the wonderful- Wendy Malick and Dan Loria. Yes. You and Dan have history, yes? Dan and I have history. We both made our Broadway debuts together. Yes. In Lombardi. That's right. A play about the famous football coach. But Dan was also the lead in Dan Fogelman's

That's right, Pitch. Or not lead, but one of the leads in Pitch when we started this one. And then Pitch didn't make it. And when this role came up, I was like, you know, you should get Dan. You should get Dan Lorre. And can we talk, I mean, I don't like to, I want to make it as comfortable as possible.

but Wendy Malek is a smoke show. - Yeah. - Oh yeah. - That woman is just gorgeous. - Beautiful, yeah. - Absolutely insanely gorgeous and a lovely human being inside and out, right? And it's, Toby is not, you see that there's not 100% comfort. - We're getting new context. - Yes. - We're getting new context for Toby.

through which you always get when you meet people's parents or their friends or their sibling or whoever it is. And you get to know him a little bit better through the dynamic between the two of them and the way they talk to each other and it's not going swimmingly. - You had set up before we see them in the car that like my dad is always asking my mom to marry her boyfriend so he can stop paying alimony. - I was like, wow, that says a lot.

Okay. And one of the first things he was like, why don't you go ahead and marry the guy that's costing me a fortune? Dan Lorre is the best curmudgeon.

And for those of you who don't know, who don't want to pause the podcast and go look him up, he's the dad from The Wonder Years. He is the dad from The Wonder Years. So he's a classic, another classic television parental figure who has been sewn into our fabric. And Wendy was never a parent. Like, she's just shooting, right? No, yeah, just shooting. But yeah, another television legend. That sort of thing. And then just to continue with you and your parents for a hot second, right? Because they wind up on your wedding day.

Sort of expressing...

Concerns, doubts? Concern for the person that you've chosen to marry. Yeah. What a hell of a thing to do on the day of the nuptials. Yeah. We have concerns. We're a day and day. We have concerns about you marrying. But here's to their credit, right? Because we know a little bit about what happened with the last marriage and how it caused one of the lowest points in your life where you had sort of

Suicidal ideation, right? Like there was contemplation about it. And they just, like as a protective parent, didn't want to see you going, bending yourself over backwards for somebody to make them happy that didn't seem like they wanted to be happy. Like they were saying she had issues that she needed to work. They were identifying the same kind of codependent patterns that they had witnessed before.

Right. Which is why it's not terribly out of left field. Exactly. But I love that Toby sort of calls them out like, my whole life I've wanted you guys to agree on something. And this is that thing. You both come together to like, on my wedding day, tell me that you don't like the choice that I'm making. You gotta be more specific about your wishes, Toby. Exactly. There you go. You gotta be real specific when you wish for that stuff. If we jump to, Kate goes in the car. She takes the urn with her.

And she winds up going not to the tree, but a tree that she and her dad used to go to when they would come to visit. - This family has real affection for trees. - I think we like trees. I think Dan must like trees. - He must. - I think it's an easy location for location scouts.

They're like, here's a gray tree. There's a tree. There's a stomper. Except for that one tree. That was a little too easy, huh? They're like, well, that's a tree. We could shoot at that tree. Maybe we should wait two minutes, see if a plane flies over. What does she say? She says some things in this conversation with the urn. I mean, I know that she basically talks to her dad about how she's been holding on. I can't find it, but how she's been holding on to him and not giving space for Toby. And she's about to, he's a wonderful guy and-

She's got to make a little room. She's got to make room for him and she wants to apologize like kind of in advance and let her dad know that it's not because she doesn't love him, but like she's found this guy and it sort of flashes back to Kate asking Jack if...

he'll marry her when she was a little girl and him basically saying like, I can't do that, but I know that you're going to find a man who's ultimately deserving of you and your mom and I will be there and I'll walk you down the aisle. And so it's, it's a really, and this is us fashion, just beautiful juxtaposition. My favorite.

That scene where she asks if they can get married one day is so sweet. Yeah. And we're starting to even have at four years old with Bear, him being like, I'll be married someday. I'll be a dad someday. And Rachel just being like, what do you think married is? Yeah. Are dad and I married? Are we married? Yeah. And he said, yeah, you're adults. That's true. That's true.

And it's just so sweet to watch a little soul start to identify and try to define these things that are kind of undefined.

Yeah. Or they change. Well, my favorite thing is Gus and Ozzy have this like really bizarre thing where Gus will say like, hey, Ozzy, say wife. And you hear Ozzy's like wife. Like they don't know what it means. And so Taylor asked him, he was like, well, do you understand what a wife is or who a wife is? And he was like, yeah. And you were like, do you understand what a wife is? Yeah.

And Gus was like, yeah, I do. And he said, Louis is my wife and that's his best friend. And I was like,

Yeah. I was like, Louis could be your wife. But I was like, I'm, you know, dad and I are married. Like we tried to explain it to him, but I was like, but yeah. Like just watching them start to form these, like you just, you don't think about how these concepts start to like be shaped in their little minds. It's very sweet. As we were talking about the marriage thing with Bear, Aoife was overplaying and Bear turns to her and goes, Aoife, one day when you're older, you'll just, you'll get older.

And then you'll die. So then there's that conversation. Took a real left turn. You're like, wait, what were we talking about there? Here's the thing though too. That's what I've heard marriage end of your life. He's not wrong. So wait, I want to give a shout out to another podcast that Sully turned me on to that sort of sometimes partially recontextualizes the things that children say. The telepathy tapes. Oh gosh. It's really great. If you guys get a chance to check it out.

And it's about sort of non-speakers having the ability to communicate through mentally. Non-speaking autistic community. Yes. But one of the things that it sort of got me into is like,

past life regressions and stuff, and I don't want to get too deep into it, but I do feel like there's something to when kids say things like, "Oh yeah, I'm married to my best friend." Where you're like, "Maybe he was married to his best friend." Soulmates that have found each other again. They keep kind of recurring in different incarnations in different lives. Bear comes out with this... Rachel writes them all down. We have a shared note, the things that he'll just turn to her and say.

Sometimes I try to talk to God, but I can't see him because he lives too deep in the woods, riding on a heart. And you're just like, yeah, I have to go. Yeah, yeah. I gotta go. What is happening? Things that I take ayahuasca to say. That's right. That's right. They're just directly tuned into. While we're on this subject, just for, you had mentioned this podcast to us last time we were recording. Yeah. And you had also brought it up in the context of your

Dog. It made you appreciate your dog more. Was it more with the being able to communicate with your dog? Yeah. There's a later episode where this woman is communicating with horses and the horse...

This one horse is getting particularly freaked out anytime its rider takes it on long distance trips. And so the therapist who's able to communicate telepathically with the horse says, the horse doesn't know when you're going to hit a bump and it gets very dizzy. So if you can just let the horse know when a bump is going to come or turn or something, if you give it a heads up, then she can brace herself and you'll be fine. So they go on this 12 hour trip. They take it. And the whole time she narrates what the trip is going to be up, making a left, making a right. There's a big bump coming, got to the end of the trip. The horse was fine.

right wound up taking second place getting the silver trophy uh on the way back home completely forgets to do it the horse is like shaking in the corner because it was so nauseous or whatnot so i was i think for me instead of like minimizing the dog is just a dog but it is a dog but a dog has a soul and um i can communicate and let the dog know what's happening and if i do that i actually find that the dog can actually i say dog i don't like it when you jump on me

It's not my love language. So if you could sit patiently, I will pet you all you want to. Just don't jump on me." And the dog has actually gotten much better with just sort of being like, "All right, that's not SKB's love language." So just narrating for your dog. Yeah. Or even just saying like, "Hey, man, I'm about to be gone for four hours. Mom may be home a little bit sooner than I am, so you're going to be on your own. Please stay out of the guest bedroom. You make the bed stink when you jump on the bed."

I'm trying. I'm trying to figure it out. -And it actually-- -It does help. It does help. So, yeah, thank you for redirecting me on that one. Sully and I were like, "We gotta know what the dog's story is." Yeah. More That Was Us after these words from our sponsors. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you have been rewatching This Is Us with us, you know it can bring up a lot. Family dynamics, personal growth, grief, love, it's...

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so beneficial. To me, I feel like the sessions that are most beneficial are the ones where you come in with nothing specific to talk about. They end up being like just the most revelatory in my experience. I love that. If you hear a little squeak in your car, you go see a mechanic, right? Yes, you do. So if you got a little squeak in that brain, come on, man. Go see a professional. After you, man.

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♪

So Kev and Randall are looking for their sister. They come close to finding her a couple of times. They're trailing her just behind the ice cream shop. They decide to have the ice cream. It's pretty damn tasty. Then as they're driving to find her, I think this is like one of the last practical things of us actually driving the car. 'Cause you can tell when we're driving the car versus when you're in that soundstage. And they sort of play worst case scenario and they start to feel really bad about like, yo, did we drop the ball? Right?

They recognize that Kate is a sensitive soul. And I think it's a very easy thing to do because both Justin and Sterling and everybody here recognize that Chrissy is a sensitive soul. So it's like when the actor and the character sort of line up in that way, it's like, you know what? Like this person needs special attention and maybe we didn't give them the attention that they needed. Yeah, exactly.

It quickly became very introspective and almost like a therapy session. It did. It got real, real quick. It really did. Yeah. And then we flash and we see her having this conversation with the urn and saying that she needs to create space so that she can let Toby in or whatnot. And the brothers wound up giving her the space to do that. Yeah. Right? And they say, like, you know, maybe we're not bad brothers. Sort of giving themselves pats on the back for the work that this woman just did for herself. And they go back to...

to the house, right? Now, important to say, Madison is gold in this episode. - On point. She shows up doing Madison perfectly. - Perfectly. There's a few things that get said when like the brothers come in, they hand the ladies champagne. - It's wedding day, bitches. - She says it's wedding day, bitches.

And she wants to go help them find Kate. And they're like, nah, you know what? That's really cool, but we got this. She flirts with Kevin, right? And I'm sure, I don't think Dan ever in a million years planned for this. Yeah.

thing to happen, right? Because even in it, she's like, please don't let me sleep with her. I was like, gotcha. Like this is one of the last things Kevin says as we're leaving there. And then they wound up having babies together. Spoiler alert. Not that night. Not that night. But later on, they wound up having babies together. Let's do another character who's introduced here. Zoe. Zoe.

Cousin Zoe. Cousin Zoe. Beth's cousin. Yes. And you quickly learn she's a photographer. She's there to be the wedding photographer. And they're more like sisters. Yeah. It's really sweet to see their relationship immediately and how happy they are to see each other. Played by the lovely Melanie Libard. Oh, yeah. Libard. That's what I said. Yep. Melanie Libard. Melanie Libard. We love Melanie. A Brit with an incredible accent. I was like, oh, yeah, I totally forgot.

- I thought she's British. - Yep, solid. The British accent also fake.

Oh, got it. That's probably why. She's actually Australian. But we quickly realize when Beth confides that they're having some trouble with Deja, she's like, let me talk to her. Yeah. And we see a situation later in the episode where Zoe sort of finds some time to like saddle up to Deja and basically say like, I know how you're feeling. And Deja calls her out. Yeah. She's like, I know what you're doing. Yeah.

Your lyric impression is spot on. So good. So good. I love the logo. If someone could edit like a little wig on him or something while he's doing that. Yeah.

I love the little girl. But she's saying that like, you know, when people, I got left with Beth's mom and dad and her, and I know that I probably took a lot out on all of them by the frustration of just being left. You know what I'm saying? And she was able to make a connection because we didn't think that she was going to change out of her hoodie to go to the thing. And she's guarding the door is Zoe. And-

Lyric comes out, Deja comes out and she's got a dress on and she's ready to go to the thing. - So clearly the conversation made an impact. I love, I wrote this down that she said when it, everything sort of shifted for her, for Zoe, when she stopped, when it stopped making sense to hate the people that loved me. I was like, oh, that's a really, that concept, like clearly something in what she relayed to Deja made sense. And like, you know, it was a light bulb moment. - It was a light bulb moment for sure.

We go to... We're constantly flashing in and out of the...

The wedding renewal vows, the dream, if you will. I got a chance to pretend to play the piano while you sang Little Moon Shadow. What was that like on set? Because I don't think I was, I don't know if I was there for that day. No, you weren't. You weren't because she makes mention that anytime she has the dream about her mom and dad, Toby isn't in it. And what does that mean? I also just mean like as an actor, I didn't think I was called to set. Like I didn't have any scenes that day. So I didn't get to see

the grown-up children in you with jack yeah oh yeah because that would have been a listen we can count on one hand how many times it happened so justin in his episode got got his dad coming in with the football coach right we have the trip in season one we have this dream sequence and i think later on when randall starts to imagine his life right um if he had not met william or whatnot there's a jack uh

But that's about it. I think it's four times with the adults over the course of 106 episodes of television. Yeah. It was cool. It was cool for him. I think it was really cool for Milo because I think he always wanted to be...

know what was going on because he'd always show up with his camera whenever he could or whatnot. Also, I'm always happy for someone to experience the aging process, the 4 a.m. call time right alongside of me. Let me also say, he looked way better than old-ass Randall. Everybody looked better than old-ass Randall. Oh, Randall was having a time. Sir.

I love him. God bless you. He got better. He got better. Maybe he was just dehydrated that day. Maybe that's what it was. He was a little puffy from too much sodium. There it was. Too much sodium. You got to watch your salt. Black men got to watch their salt. But I will say, again, again, shout out to our makeup team. Because when you walk down that aisle, I have zero. Even I know you. Yeah. I know you well. Like I have zero. It doesn't occur to me once that that is not true.

In 65, you never bumped for a second. Not once. Not once. No. It's crazy to me. That means a lot. Even to rewatch it. Thank you. You killed that shit. And it's not just the makeup. It's the way you move and the way you talk and that weird old voice you put on. My little old voice. Yeah, that one. Moon shadow.

It's not right. Running and hanging from the moon's shadow. It started as a compliment and then it got too good. And then it got too weird. I don't want you to have to sit too much on that compliment. I mean, I also, I feel like we jumped over the,

Rebecca, in the present day, her feeling like she wants to be there for Kate, but she also doesn't want to get in the way. And she has reservations because she just knows that it's hard for Kate to be celebrating her wedding without her father there. And it's like this guilt that she's carried around of like,

Like Kate would rather have anyone but me there. She would especially love to have her father in place of me here. And just feeling like there's nothing I can do to change that. Even when you showed up, she was going out the door to find the ice cream. You didn't know that. You thought that you had said something that caused her. Sure. Their relationship is just always so precarious. It's just, they can never communicate.

quite find their footing with one another. - But God bless you for on that day, really thinking about your daughter. You're like, I just want this day to go well for her. So if I need to take a step back, I don't know if every mom is like that on wedding day. - And you talk about it with Miguel. Miguel says, don't worry, you're fine. At least you're not me. - Yeah. - Yeah. Not wrong. - You think you're a reminder of Jack? I'm a reminder of Jack. - And you basically hit him with, Miguel. - Oh, Miguel.

I love that John Ware says. There is... Okay, so she...

She's able to make peace, is Kate, and make space for her husband, right? And at a certain point, we wind up walking down the aisle. Oh, excuse me. There's the conversation that you have with your parents when they are sort of like, have their reservations, et cetera. And you defend your wife to be. And brilliantly, like, let me say, putting on- Cufflinks. Pain in the ass. Yeah. Always a pain in the ass. And it's like, you want to dismiss them, but like, please just fix the cufflink first.

Standing at the end of the aisle. We have buttons now, people. This is an archaic form of fastening my sleeve. Standing at the aisle and about to see your bride walk down, being given away by her two brothers. And just a quick, let me just take a pause. I want to see what Taylor's reaction, Chris Sterling. When I saw my wife walk down that aisle...

She's so, because I didn't see her before. Like we obeyed all the rules and everything like that. And what a joy, what a reveal, just so, what a moment. - Yeah. - It's a joy, like, did you have a similar- - I was a mess, I was a mess through the whole thing, almost to the point where Rachel was like, okay. - Keep it together. - And you just. - Like, yeah. - Let's go. Like I was a mess to the point where she's like, maybe I've made a mistake. - This guy's too much, too emotional. - Wow.

- Yeah, chill out, bro. - So you get to do the other half. You get to do like the walk and whatnot. Like what's it like getting ready to prep to walk to see? - Taylor cried. - Yeah. - Of course he did. - Yeah. - Yeah, you know Taylor. - And what's it like for you like walking down and seeing everybody and they stand up and they turn around and da, da, da, da. - I walked out of my bedroom and like walked outside. We have this mid-century house. It's like, I just like opened a sliding door and I walked around and like turned the corner and my brother-in-law was singing. - Yeah.

and it was beautiful and uh and yeah and he was just like standing at the end of like where our pool usually is and it was covered with all of our friends sitting in chairs and yeah it was it was surreal you know because you think about this moment your whole life even if i wasn't someone that ever like imagined what my wedding would be you still think about like well one day i'll hopefully get to take that walk yeah yeah there

There will be someone waiting for me at the end that I'm elated to, you know, be on this adventure with. And that was definitely the case. And it was very emotional and beautiful. Yeah, yeah. You know what? My mom got married at City Hall twice. And she's like, I don't know why y'all need all this stuff. And I was like, but, and for those who get married at City Hall, cool.

It got memories, you know, that memory, that photo album, like that video of like watch every once in a while, you break it out and you look and you're like, wow, what a great day. Yeah.

- It's cool. - Yeah. - It's cool. So it was cool to see Justin and I in our little matching suits. - Walking with your sister. - Walking her down. I think a side note, Chrissy said her dress is about 40 pounds. - I remember that. - And I remember she said- - Lots of intricate beading. - She said, "SKB, touch it." And it was heavy. - Heavy. - That joint had some weight to it, right? - Yeah, she was like walking with a weighted vest on. - Yeah, so shout out to her. - I had food poisoning this whole day. - What? - You kidding me? - The whole day of the wedding shoot.

Whole day. Got to my trailer that morning for hair and makeup, curled up in the fetal position in my trailer, sweating, waiting, sweating. Had to be in that suit. Outside? And would go, shoot, go back to the trailer and just lay there in the fetal position and do whatever food poisoning does to a person. Are you serious, man? All day long.

-Lord. -It was rough. Wow, you would have had no idea. It was one of those things where I was like, "Is this when actors go home?" Like, it was getting so bad, where I'm like, "I think this might be when actors are like, 'I can't do this anymore.'" Like, and luckily, like, they would call, and I would get that little doctor show. Like, "Okay, you're seen. All right." And we'd get through it. Yeah, man. I can lay down.

That sounds atrocious. There's a photo of me and you sitting on the front deck. Yeah. And we both look kind of exhausted. Sure. And I think you thought I was putting on a face. I did. I was not putting on a face. No, dude. I was like, it's like my long stare. And Sterling was like, oh, we're doing that? Okay, let's turn over there.

I'll find the photo. I'll send the photo. - Yeah, please. - So the wedding's beautiful. It's montage. Like, did we have lines? - No. - We didn't have lines. We just sort of. - Dan, I think Dan, I mean, they know.

- We get it, you got married. - What's gonna be said. - Gotcha. - What's gonna be said at this wedding. - 'Cause really it's about the toasts. - It's about the toasts, right? And let it be known, Zoe says to Deja, she's like, "I'm only here for the toast. I'm always a sucker for a good toast." Right? - Yeah. - So Kev does the toast, or he does the first part of the toast or whatever. I don't know if we can use this on the show, but I remember this was like,

- There was a moment on set of like creative disagreement. - Oh, I remember this! - Hot take. - Should we talk about it? - We can talk about it. - We won't go into it deeply, but like it was, and it was over a small thing. - It was between writers? - Yes, and the director. - And the director. - And the director. And we already announced who they are. Yeah, it was between them. - We didn't, but that's easy to Google. - Oh, we did, yeah, yeah, it's easy. - Nobody's rewinding. - It's easy to Google. But it was, and it was only over, I was like, I feel like I should be standing next to Kev

when he does the toast because it's like a co-toast thing. And they were like, "No, Kev does it and then you do it." And I was like, "Ah, that feels sort of strange or whatnot." And so something happened. Ultimately, I stood with my family. Kev does the first half of the toast, which is absolutely beautiful.

He does a "Katy girl" reference, which I'm always-- - A fan of. - Always a fan of because, you know, I don't think "Katy girl" was in the original script. It was just something Milo said, right? And it just becomes now a part of the lexicon of referring to our sister. And what a wonderful guy she has found in you.

And then he passes it off to Randall. Also, can I say, I love that he asks the family and everybody, but I think it's really intended for his family to release the breath that they've been holding. Because he references that Kate's told him that he's never really grieved the death of their father. And it's like he took a breath in and has been holding it ever since. And so he instructs everybody there to,

to sort of release their breath and there's like a quick shot in succession of of everyone in the immediate family just exhaling and yeah i don't know i just i i loved that yeah it was a really emotional moment in that and for kevin to be the one to initiate it yeah correct yeah always then we get to randall on on his and uh then there's a montage that sort of begins under randall's uh speech because he's talking about like the closest you come to

He's talking about picking your people. And basically, like, you never know what the future's gonna hold. You never know where you're gonna be a year from now. And that's when the flash-forward sort of begins. And you see Kevin and Zoe on a plane. They're on a plane. She's laying her head on his shoulder. He's looking at a photo that we've seen before. Yes. From his uncle. From Vietnam. From Vietnam. That's right. And the plane, the pilot announces, will be landing in where? Vietnam.

Somewhere in Vietnam. Like, we'll be-- you know, our flight is landing and, you know, momentarily or whatever. And you're like, "Oh, wow." So they're on their way to Vietnam. He's looking at this picture of his dad during the war. Toby is in bed. I think-- were you still sick on this? Depressed. No, that day I was fine. Because you could have used it. I could have used it. I'll tell you this, though. I look back on this episode and I was like, "Hey, Toby didn't get, like, any vows or a spee or a toast." And I'm like, "That's a good thing, 'cause I wouldn't have been able to say anything."

You are not well. He was gone. Yeah. And that's how we see Toby laying in bed with his concerned wife standing over. Was she just walking into the bedroom? Yeah. She said she just got off the phone with the doctor, right? Right. Yeah. And we need to adjust your meds. We need to adjust your meds. My nowadays has been on meds. What else? Right. And this is after, listen, because the parents have already set up, you know, how low he got after the first birth. So we're wondering like, what's going on with Toby? And-

And adult Tess and older Randall are getting ready for their quote unquote lunch date. Yeah. And Randall says. It's time to go. It's time to go see her now. It's time to go see her now. Yeah. And people are like, is he wearing a wedding ring? Is he, you know, there was a lot of debate. What we were asking Dan about in his episode is like, do you need that?

added hook in order to make sure people stay tuned. And he said, you know, I don't know if they need it, but it sure does help. Right. And so like, once you answer in 2:14, we've answered the story of how Jack passed away and whatnot. And we end the season being like, what's going on with Toby? Yeah. Kevin and Zoe. Yeah. And then like, you see old Randall again with older Tess being like, it's time to go see her now. I'm not sure I'm ready.

And so there's more questions. Intrigue, yeah. Intrigue. Because are you the only person from the immediate family that we've seen in this timeline? I believe so. The two of them, yeah. So who is it? We know it's a woman. Yeah. And I feel like Dan's answer to that was sort of like, it definitely helps. But I also think like what's different from like,

you know, I think television now versus like what we were doing. It's like we were on network TV and it's like, so people had to wait now for, you know,

Six months? Six months before that question was answered. It's obviously, I guess, similar in the sense that most shows on the street, like your show, for instance, it's like, sure, they still have to wait time in between watching one season to the next, but it's like you got to keep them hooked somehow. Keep the conversation going. Exactly. Unanswered questions. Absolutely. And if Dan was, honestly, if you say...

you don't need them, but we got them. Sure. So. Sure. And he would drop the mic and left. I mean, especially when you're coming to the end of the season and there's that hiatus, like it's nice to know, like you have people come up to you during the hiatus and be like, okay, what's going on? So who? What is this future thing? Who are you guys going to go see? Yeah. Like you could see that they were like, like chomping at the bit, waiting to find out what was going to happen next. And the episode ends too with Deja leaving the reception. Come on now.

Oh, this is what it was, what set her off. What precipitated it. So your mom, my mom's talking to my kids. Doesn't know the whole situation. Yeah, you must be Randall's girls or whatnot. And you two look just like your mother, but you, you look just like your dad, right? And she was just, you could see something. This little girl is so deep. She's just like.

This ain't my people. Like, you know what I'm saying? It was just like, I'm not supposed to be here. I was just with my mother, you know? And like, because language escapes, the only thing that you have that you know what to speak with is taken aback

To my baby. And let us remind, because Kev reminded everybody, I know this is your car, you paid for cash. Clearly, William was not the first person you told that to. I was like, this car is very important to me. And she just took it, went to the windshield and busted that joint up. Like watching it, I felt for Red. I was like, okay. It was a twofold feeling. I was like, I felt for the car and I was like,

what's going on with this little girl yeah you know what i'm saying like i don't know if she's in the future i've only seen yeah tess yeah in the future you know what i'm saying and there's a part of me that's like we're talking you can't let this little girl be left again right like i felt very like because i was like if he did have that which i don't think is random nature per se but like as an audience member where does she end up do they need to be going to visit her that's what i'm saying yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so that was that

It was a good episode of television. It was a good episode of television. It was a good season. That's right. Of television. End of season two, y'all. End of season two. We're already there. Into three will be when next you see us and lots of just wonderful things. Three is actually one of my favorite seasons. I agree.

-Is it really? -Yes. -For you as well? -Yeah. Yeah. It is like on a personal level to see what Randall and Beth went through in that particular season, I thought was very fun as an actor. We're really getting into a section of the show now where I'm like, "I don't remember what comes next." Same. Same. And so I'm excited. I'm like watching for the first time. Like I'm sure as soon as I see it, I'll be like, "All right, sure." It'll come back to you.

These four years just flew by. These next four seasons flew by. Yeah. They did. Well, this has been such a blast. I love it. I can't wait to dive into season three. It's really just an excuse to hang out with you guys and talk about a show that I love. Pretty much. All right, so now we can do our favorite segment, the fan segment. The fan segment. Shall we? Yeah, man. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it.

Okay, we are back with one of our favorite segments, the emotional support hotline. Yes, yes. I get to this character again. We've been getting some incredible voicemails. And I was thinking, you know, if you guys felt like it, maybe we should listen to one. Give them a call back. Yeah, it's been a minute. Let's do it. Let's do it. You like that idea? Come on, let's play the voicemail. Okay, here we go. For sure. We have, we just have to get Elisa back.

on the line. So let's give her a call back. Should we listen to the... We gotta listen to it. Voicemail first? Because I thought I was host three. Yeah, let's listen to the voicemail. Let's, guys, listen. Yeah, no. Oh, Sully. How does this podcast work? You guys...

Keep this all in. Keep it in. All right, so let's have a listen to this Elisa. Elisa. Voicemail from Elisa. Come on, let's do it. Hey, Mandy, Sterling, and Chris. This is Elisa. I just turned 36 on Saturday. I guess today is Wednesday the 15th, so on the 11th I turn 36.

And I'm calling this my "This Is Us" year. My best friend, who used to live like 10 minutes from me, now lives in Louisiana. I live in Texas, and so when she was here, we watched "This Is Us" together all the time. And I just appreciate the podcast because it helps to connect us and really living all the episodes that we loved.

Anyway, I wanted to call in and just say thank you for re-airing the Sid Khosla episode. It's my favorite. It's so very beautiful, beautiful. And his story to his mother touches me in a very, like, meaningful way. I'm in the process of, like, documenting family's history through voice recordings. And just the fact that his mother would record lullabies to her son despite his

the distance between them just means something to me. I want to leave something to my son and for generations to come so that they can connect with their ancestors through voice. And so I've just been listening to the original score of his song "Evergreen Cassette" on replay since yesterday, and I just wanted to say thank you, and specifically to Mandy.

I'm praying for you, speaking life, hope, joy, and peace over you and your family as you overcome this disaster that you're experiencing right now. Thank you all so much for what you do. The show is amazing and will forever be the best show on television. Wow, Elisa, that's such a beautiful message. Can we call her back and just chat with her? It's ringing. All right. Is this Elisa?

Yeah, this is she. Good day, madam. Hello. How are you? Hello. I'm so happy to be chatting with y'all. We're happy to be chatting with you, too. Thank you for that voicemail. Yeah. You're so welcome. It was so lovely, so kind. We all talk amongst ourselves about how much we love the music and the score from the show and how I think it's like sort of this almost unacknowledged character of the show sometimes and

that episode with Sid of the podcast that we were, he was, we were lucky enough to have him in, in the studio here and he played his acoustic version of evergreen cassette, a song that we all love so much. I'm glad to hear that that episode resonated with you and you love that song as much as we do. Yes. We adore it. My son loves it. He even knows how to like open up the music app and,

He only knows how to find it because of the This Is Us icon. That's so sweet. Yeah, it's really fun. We love the song. Well, also, a happy belated birthday to you. Yeah, you're in your 36th year. It is the first time. This Is Us year going. I've heard that term, the This Is Us year. It's hysterical.

I love the show so much. So again, how do you make this is us year? This is us year is going good. It's, it's breezing by honestly. I don't know how we're already in March, but yeah, it's going great. Well, that February is such a short month. It's almost not even a month. You know, you have your brain years right there in the middle of the end and then it's gone. Yeah. Bada bing, bada boom. Elisa, how did you find the show and originally connect with it?

Oh, wow. I mean, I was like all the people who watched the trailer, I believe. Oh, all the way back. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was an OG. That's right. Yeah. There was just something really cool about...

the storytelling just in that short pilot. And I love anything that's going back and forth in time. So, you know, all my favorite movies are kind of with that theme of going backwards. So yeah, I started watching it with my best friend. I think it was what, 2016? Yeah. That's it. Yeah. So, you know, we would meet up on her couch and, you know, eat ice cream, but all the, all the things and she had just become a mom. So it was kind of cool to see her, uh,

doing the mom thing and just seeing how she was going to shape this little human. She now has two. So yeah, it was just a fun way for us to get together and we really just loved all the themes that it brought up. Who doesn't love sitting down with their girlfriend and recapping a show and thinking about how it relates to your own life. Me and Chris say that every day. Every day. Sitting down with my girls and capping on that show. Did you have your child when you first began watching the show?

Oh, no, he's only three. He'll be four at the end of April. So yeah, I had a COVID baby. Yeah, absolutely. Is it interesting? Like, do you rewatch the show now with the podcast? And is it any different from the first time watching when you weren't a parent to watching it as a parent?

It's very different. I feel sometimes that I'm like watching a completely different show. Yeah, it's even more personal and emotional than I think it was the first time. And I loved it. You know, I loved it the first time, but...

Yeah, it's even more gratifying, I think, listening to the podcast because, one, I commute to work twice a week from San Antonio to Austin. So I listen to y'all every Tuesday morning on my way home. We're glad to accompany you. Yeah, it really makes the drive so much nicer. But yeah, for things to come up for me while watching it and then to hear y'all talk about it is really fun. And being a mom, I think you just have this great privilege to...

have the front seat of someone's life and then you also get to contribute to it. And so just being mindful about how everything I do is impacting his life. And I think I finished watching season two, episode 13.

And this is my first time rewatching. So I didn't rewatch until the podcast started. So that's been crazy too. Yeah. It's been, it was like, wow, I can't, I mean, I was watching it with brand new eyes and that's a leading into a very big episode and just thinking about how, you know, you don't know the last time you're going to,

get to hold your kid or, you know, kiss your spouse or all the things. And so I definitely feel more emotional watching it now. I wasn't married when I watched the first time and I'm married now and have a little one. So it's definitely more impactful. Man, a lot has happened in the last year. A lot has happened. It's going to be a good year. It's going to be a good This Is Us year. Do you get six This Is Us years? Because that's... Yes. Like we went from 36 to 42. Yeah. Yeah.

I had never thought about that, but now you're planning things in my mind. I feel like I have to add on. This is a thing now. It used to be a birthday and it was a birth week. That's my birth month. Now it's birth six years. This is my second TIU year. I call the Jesus years 30 to 33. Yeah, that's right. Because that's when he was in his ministry. So I was like, yeah, this is us years. Yeah, this is us half decade. They're the best years.

Indeed. And then it's all downhill from there. No, no, no. It's something beautiful. Then something great comes along. Exactly. Another cool show. The next chapter. Right. Yeah. Like the That Was Us podcast. Is that what you're talking about? Exactly. That. Excellent. Excellent. Oh, goodness. Oh, my goodness gracious. You were talking about the recordings that Sid brought up in his episode, right? Yeah. I missed...

Part of your message, are you doing that in your life or is someone else doing that? Or did you just connect with that idea?

Yeah. So back in 2023, I started like doing some family history. So my folks are from Liberia, West Africa. And just quick history, like Liberians came from the U.S. post-emancipation and went to West Africa. My mom's side is very native to that part of West Africa, though. So my dad's side, I wanted to try to figure out like where his great grandparents came from. And I did find some cool birth certificates and things.

lots of stuff along the way, but you get stuck in trying to research these people from the past. And so I just wanted to put the onus on myself to

start documenting things for my son and for whoever is coming after him so they wouldn't have to look as hard to find stuff. So I started recording my dad's story and then I'll do my mom next. And yeah, just trying to get them on tape. That's some foresight right there. Instead of waiting until it's too late and being like, I wish I had. What a gift you're giving all your future family members and your son. Thank you.

A friend of mine gave me a gift that was interesting and kind of got me kicked off. Because I thought about all these videos that we take and these pictures, and it's like, do you make photos? How do you hold on to these messages for your children as they grow? And a friend of mine, as a gift, registered Bear's name as an email.

Oh. Okay. And gave me the email and the passcode. And I've started, I take the video or the photo and a little something and I send it to the email. I love that. Yeah. And then it's like, it's just there. And then one day when he's old enough to have an email, I'll just give it to him.

Well, to piggyback on that, my friend told me to do the same thing when my children were born. So for each kid, they have an email address and I send them little emails every now and then. I'm just like, you just did the craziest thing today. You said this or you did this and it made us laugh. I need to do it more. I,

I need to do it more as well. But so I need to do it. At some point they have access to those emails and those messages and notes of like, I try every birthday to write like an email to them. And yeah, I need to get better. I just found out in this moment that Elisa, Mandy and Chris are better people than. Well, no, no. When you had your kids, there was no internet. You couldn't have done this.

I get that. It's not too late. It's never too late. I appreciate that. And we appreciate your message. We appreciate you listening to the show, vibing with the show, rewatching it with us because we're rewatching it as we go into it. And just all the support, all the love. Yeah, we're so happy to have you on this ride. It means a lot to hear from folks that are actually listening in real time with us.

Yeah, we're not just speaking into the void. No, no, you're not you're not we are listening I have so many co-workers that are listening as well and you really enjoy it And as I mentioned in my voicemail my best friend, you know doesn't live in San Antonio anymore She's outside of New Orleans, but we listen and watch together and it's still our thing. What's her name? You might give her a little shout out. Yes. Shout out to so I love you You will always be my person

You sound like a great friend. Amen. Thank you. Thank you, Elisa, for your time. We appreciate you and you have a wonderful rest of the day. You all too. Take care, Sally, Sterling, and Manny. Thank you too. Bye.

She called me Sully. That's how you know we're friends. She called you Sully. That's how you know we're friends. I love that. I loved her. I love Elisa. Yeah. And you heard it here first. This podcast, better than the show. Better than the TV show. That's what she said. Breaking news. That's what she said. Breaking news. Hot take. That's what she said.

Is that the end of our episode, Gary? Yes, it is. Somebody sign us up. Please like and subscribe. Share the show with one friend. Pick your favorite episode. Send it to them in a little text message. If you're watching on YouTube, you get to watch my excellent mime work of texting. I like that. And have them...

re-watch the show with us. If you want to call into the emotional support hotline, we'd love to hear from you. That number is 412-501-3028. Or send us an email at thatwassuspod at gmail.com. Questions, comments,

Yeah. Compliments. We'll take it all. We'll try to keep it, you know, be nice if you want to. Don't come hard at us with like, just like why you hate the podcast. You can just keep it. But we'll take one of those. And delete it. I'll read it.

You don't think I'll read that shit? You go ahead and send it. I dare you. That was it for this episode of That Was Us. Thank you guys so much for checking us out. We'll catch you next week. Later. That Was Us is filmed at Rabbit Grin Studios and produced by Rabbit Grin Productions. Music by Taylor Goldsmith and Griffin Goldsmith. That was us.