Your Success Circle - Key to Growth?
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Understand where you're at can change and it might not be easy to change. And this is probably a reflective episode where, you know, we're not talking about marketing. This is a big part of your life, right? Who you spend your time with is a massive part of your life. And this extends into family too and relationships.

My name's Rudy Moore, host of Living the Red Life podcast, and I'm here to change the way you see your life in your earpiece every single week. If you're ready to start living the red life, ditch the blue pill, take the red pill, join me in Wonderland and change your life.

Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Living the Red Life. Today we're going to talk about building the red life around your friendship groups, your inner circle, your peer group, and how to build the best possible friendship groups that actually support you to grow. Now most people listening to this, you have people in your world, your sphere, right, your circle of influence that are very beneficial, okay? And then you also have people in your sphere and your circle that are not very beneficial,

Now, if you're a serious entrepreneur or you have serious goals in life, you have to build that sphere, that network, kind of like a sports team. That's how I look at it. So I try and build my circle and spend time with my circle like a sports team. So I was very fortunate. I moved to America about eight, nine years ago. And apart from a couple of friends at grad school that I'm still in contact with and friendly with,

which both kind of got into marketing and worked for me and you know kind of came into my entrepreneurial sphere apart from those couple of people everyone I know in America is either a staff member a family member or an entrepreneur and I'm very fortunate of that

because it basically forces my network group and who I spend time with to only be successful people. Now, not all of you are fortunate enough to put yourself in that position and you have what I call baggage, right? A lot of people have the old version of themselves and the friends and the people

that were supportive of that or aligned with that 10 years ago. And a lot of us are scared or we don't want to hurt people's feelings, so we're afraid to go and say, "Hey, this person doesn't serve me anymore." Because it's very cutthroat, right? When I say it like that, it's very cutthroat. So what you have to understand is you as an entrepreneur, you're constantly adapting and growing.

And the people around you aren't constantly adapting and growing like you. So a lot of people in your team, right, if we imagine like a sports team, like I said, or a sphere or a circle of influence, they're not the right people anymore. And if you were to recreate that sports team from day one now, what would that sports team look like? It would probably be different to the people around you. So think about that for a second. If you were going to grow a sports team, i.e. a friendship group of people around you that

that got you to the best version of yourself in life and made you the most successful as possible, what would that look like? And again, this isn't for everyone. Some people, they want to go out drinking every weekend and you want to do that too and you're not like all in as an entrepreneur. And maybe you can still be all in and still party at the weekends. I don't know. I don't do that. So obviously there's a level of extremism here. I get this. But I want you to imagine and play the game with me for a second. So play the game of...

I'm creating this elite sports team, this draft pick, right? So who would all those people be that make up that elite sports team? And I guarantee if you spent time and every day you were with those people in some capacity or texting or whatever, you would become way more successful than...

a normal group of friends or a normal sports team, right? And that arguably could have a bigger impact than all the day-to-day you do in your marketing because it's such a compounding effect of like knowing the right person to get you a million dollar deal, knowing the right tax attorney to save you tens or hundreds or even millions of dollars, hundreds of thousands of dollars or millions of dollars in taxes, knowing the right person to

get you on the Joe Rogan podcast and Good Morning America and Ellen and all these shows, right? So having that circle could be as if not more powerful than

It's in the day-to-day of your business that you grind on 10 or 12 hours. And it's like a sports team. If you're a mediocre basketball player and you train 10 hours a day, you're going to get slightly better, right, over months and years. But if your sports team was like five of the best NBA all-star players,

How good are you going to be in a game? You're going to win pretty much every game, even if you're average, because the rest of the team around you are so elite. So I don't think a lot of people, and that's why I'm shooting this today for you guys, because it's hard to make these decisions and it's hard to analyze outside of work and outside of entrepreneurship.

It's hard to sometimes analyze it and a lot of us separate it and we go, oh well, I go to these events and I meet these entrepreneurs and it's great and I have a business partner and I'm in Rudy's mastermind and he's entrepreneurial. So I get this good energy and these good vibes and I have this good inner circle over here but then half my life I have this normal circle that doesn't serve me.

And again, I'm not saying you can't have friends that like maybe aren't entrepreneur, you don't have to get rid of everyone, but you have to create a stronger sports team. So going into this next few months and year, I want you to look at, you know, a lot of us look at our goals. We look at what we're doing in the day to day. We look at our marketing initiatives. We start to look at maybe our team as we become a bigger business. But how often do we look at our circle of influence, right? The people that influence you on a daily basis.

And we can all get better at this. Even though I have amazing network and friendships and celebrity business partners and a lot of who I speak to every day are very successful people, there's people that I'm ultra-successful people I'm connected with that I don't spend enough time with.

And there's people in my life still, whether it's staff or whatever, that I spend way too much time and they bring me down. And you've got to understand you're basically on this continuum and you're either pulled up towards success and happy

happiness or whatever in life whatever your goals are or you're on this spectrum and you're getting pulled in the opposite way okay and the more obviously like any spectrum to go to the successful million dollar plus side you need to spend more time with more people pulling you there and less way less time with people pulling you on the left right pulling you down and backwards and most people it's inverted and shifted in the wrong way so they have 80 of the time

they're getting pulled down and backwards. And only 20% of the time are they getting pulled up, right? 20% of the time is when they get on a live call or they watch a one-hour podcast or they go to an event every couple of months and get two days of energy or they have a one-hour coaching call with a marketing coach or a famous entrepreneur or someone successful, right? Or a friend that's successful that motivates them. But that's not going to work. It's like...

whatever it is, like diet, right? If you're eating horrible, terrible food 80% of the time and you don't have a terrible lifestyle, you're going to be ill and unhealthy. Whereas if you have a really healthy lifestyle and really healthy food 80% of the time and eat 20% of bad food, you're probably going to be okay because the laws of this repetition is what determines your outcome in life and success. So if 20% of the time

you've got bad, you know, maybe bad people or not even bad, just normal people that don't necessarily serve your goals. But 80% of the time, it's all positive. It's encouraging. It's pushing you to be bigger, better version of yourself. You're getting really good connections. You're getting motivated. You get in all that great energy. You're going to become more, way more successful. So build that sports team. Think about those people in the circle of influence, right?

and think about how do I play this 80/20 rule so I can still keep maybe people in my life that I care about that don't maybe serve my entrepreneurial goals, but get rid of most of the people that don't serve me and don't provide anything for me. And just because you've known them for years or you worked with them or work with them currently in a current job or whatever it is, you played sport with them, it doesn't mean they have to stay in your life. And the thing with a lot around relationships is

When you constantly put yourself in new environments and meet new people, you make a lot of new friends and you continually grow. If you're stagnant in the same place, in the same city, in the same job, then it's like kind of dating, right? If you never go on dates, you get worried you're never going to have a relationship. And if you're in the same environment, then you don't see that you can make new friends. So don't think...

and get yourself in a position where it's like, oh, these are the people I just went to school with and they're my best friends and that's all I know because you have opportunity to make new friends. And it doesn't mean you have to get rid of all the old friends, but you can have new friends that maybe give you a new look on life, a new outlook or new motivation or whatever that is. So I want you to go into this year

And I want you to look at not only the business and the goals that you've set, but I want you to look at the environment that I talk about a lot at. And a big part of that is the sphere, right? The inner circle, the sphere of influence. And, you know, a lot of this is like the famous saying, right? If...

you know, your outcome in life is dictated largely by the five people you spend the most time with. And Les Brown, one of my friends and partners, he says it pretty well too. He says,

If your nine friends are broke, you'll be the tenth. And there's plenty of other sayings, right? If you show me your friends, I'll show you your future. So this stuff has been around for many decades and it comes all the way from tribes, right? Depending on what tribe you're in and if you go back hundreds and hundreds of years, that will dictate how...

how you become and how you interact and what school you go to and then what clubs you join and then as children, if you're in a group of friends where they're all getting in trouble, skipping class, doing drugs, right? Then it's easier for you to be led astray. Whereas if you're in a successful, maybe group of friends that study and play sport and have good relationships with their parents, then you'll probably have a better outcome there than the other side. Now,

Understand where you're at can change. Okay, and it might not be easy to change and this is probably a reflective episode where you know we're not talking about marketing or anything because This is a big part of your life right who you spend your time with is a massive part of your life and this extends into family - and Relationships, okay, you know Grant Cardone talks about this a lot with Elena and I've spoke to them about it when I've been with them that

And lots of successful people say this too, the spouse is one of the biggest indicators of your success, right? If your spouse supports you or doesn't support you. So,

have a look at not only the inner circle, but the people you live with, okay? Family members, right? And look, I have family members and people that don't get what I do and they don't get my decisions and I might fire staff or someone and they're like, how can you do this? They have, you know, families, but you have to understand that

If you can't always get rid of someone out of your life, right, or you don't want to get rid of someone, then you have to just put up what I call this like force field, right? This shield where you don't let their input dictate your energy, outcome, emotional decisions. Because you will have some people as you're listening to this saying, well, my spouse is the worst person for me based on that rank. You're saying, really, should I get a divorce? Or you're saying, oh, my...

you know, blah, blah, best friend that I've known for 30 years is the worst person. If you can't always get rid of these people, then you have to put like containers or parameters in place to make sure it doesn't affect you. And that's a skill I've had to learn. Like a lot of people I've just naturally gravitated to. And I'm pretty cutthroat because I'm very focused on myself and my goals. Um,

that if someone doesn't really serve me, and I don't mean in a monetary way, just if someone doesn't add to my life and make my life better, then I kind of just move on and it phases out. It's not like an awkward conversation generally, it just phases out, right? And if there's people in my life, maybe family members or whatever, that I can't necessarily just walk away from or don't want to because they're family, then I create these forms

force fields around me and containers so I know, hey, this person does this well, right? Or they, you know, they're a great family member, right? But they have no business clue.

And I'm not going to take any advice from them around business. So you have to kind of create these containers for these people so you know when to basically open up and let them in and listen to them, right? And let the energy in. And then you create these barriers so when it's like, hey, they've moved into a section that they shouldn't be talking about or impacting me on. And then you close the force field, right?

So that's how I look at building that sphere of influence. The last part of this is how do you find those new people, right? A lot of you are saying, "Rudy, this is great, but I want to meet new great people that can build this elite sports team for me or this world-class circle of influence." And obviously the best way, in my opinion, that is how I've done it is go to events, okay?

And I made a, I guess a fortunate but also a very unique and extreme decision because I looked back at my life since moving to America and growing my businesses, and this was about six years ago.

And I go, all my biggest success, the best people I've met, the best contracts I've got, the best money I've made, the best opportunities, the best lessons, and where I've been the most motivated has been at events and masterminds. So I looked at my line and I go, well, if I know this to be true, how do I go to more of them?

And then I go, well, I go to more of them if, you know, the reason I don't go to more of them is because I go to one, I come home for a week or two, I'm paying a lot of rent, I lived on the ocean in this like penthouse condo. I was like, well, I always come back for a week because, you know, I don't want to be away too long and I'm paying all this money and stuff. And I go, well, what would stop me doing that?

and then just go to all these events. And I go, well, if I didn't have this place and I have no reason to come back, then I would just go to as many as I could. So I kind of reverse engineered it and I gave up my lease, put everything in storage and I traveled the world for two years. And that was one of the best decisions I made because in those two years, not only did I have a lot of fun, I traveled the world, saw a lot of great places, met a lot of great people, but my business continued to grow

And I really kind of built my brand and met really key people and put myself even more on a map so to speak so For me it was events. I'm not saying for every single one of you will be events But generally you've got to go where these people hang out Okay So if you want to make gym friends more than go to the gym and start working out and chatting with people So try and find where these people hang out obviously the big marketing events corporate events are the best and

but then you want to look at like other places right other places they hang out maybe it's the golf clubs maybe it's networking events maybe it's hotel lobbies maybe there's like in your city there's different like pop-up business events so start looking at where these people hang out and then one tip that I found that's really successful is once you find a couple of people

then they usually have a good circle of influence too, right? So it's kind of fascinating because if you become friends with one person, then what I've noticed in my life sometimes is that one person, you go out with them, meet their friends, and then as long as you're proactive and engaging and interesting as an individual,

those friends you get to know and then they eventually kind of become your friends and then it creates this cobweb like spider web effect right where now you made from one friend you made four new ones and then those four have other friends and now you've got 16 and then you kind of keep adding it right and it's like now you've met 100 people from like five people or one person originally and then four and then you know eight or whatever so um

really do whatever you can to get to the events and then look locally of course and then join groups right so like you can have a lot of my good friends are online and they're in like LA or Austin or wherever and obviously I have a lot in Miami where I'm based and then obviously when I travel I see a lot of great people but

you can join online groups, Facebook groups, you can join masterminds, coaching programs, live Zooms, and you can start to network with people online. And I've become friends online with people that I've known through the industry, and it's took two years until we've hung out in person, but we've become, you know, we've chatted on the phone and blah, blah, blah. So,

Don't think that it has to be in person, you can do it online too. And the last thing I would say is when you do have these opportunities, you're at a mastermind event, you're at a coaching event, you're at a networking event, you're at a bar, you're at a Christmas party full of entrepreneurs, be intentional. What I find, and I'm not always super intentional, but I find I go to these events, I meet 100 people, and then I have dinner with 10 or 20, and then the next night dinner with 10 or 20. But during that two-day or three-day event,

There's probably like four people I really hit it off with, right? And I kind of go in my brain, I really like this person. I really like this person. And then for the rest of the two days, I sit next to that person. And when it's cocktail hour, I go hang out with that person. We maybe go to dinner after the event ends with that person.

And then, you know, we obviously have exchanged numbers and stay in touch and do a follow-up call a month later. And I look at maybe where I can help them or connect them. And that like builds this long relationship. So some of my business partners, some of my advisors, some of my...

close friends have literally come out of that one thing where I met them briefly, did a dinner and then I was like, this is a good person. They have similar interests, passions, goals. Maybe their level of business is a similar size to me. So a lot of the boxes checked, right? And then I was more intentional in continuing that relationship versus the other 60 people that were also at the event. So be intentional and then understand if

it doesn't have to be hundreds okay a few key players in your sports team right if you add Steph Curry and LeBron James and Michael Jordan to your basketball team you don't need a bunch of

people, right? You just need a couple of Tom Brady's. So, and they can also meet, help you meet other Tom Brady's, right? So look at that, look at that intention because that intention can get you a long way because it creates this ripple effect or that spider web effect that I was talking about. So there you have it, circle of influence, how to build it, how to

really level the playing field because I feel a lot of you a lot of people I meet at least entrepreneurs they have way too many of the wrong people not enough of the right people in their life and it's okay to make that realization for yourself

And when you do make that realization and start to fix it, I promise you your life will get better because, you know, energy is just transferred, right? And if your energy is 80% of the time bad, it's very hard to find the good, okay? So do what you can to make those shifts in your life because I promise you your life will become better. You'll meet better people. You'll become more successful. And overall, you'll be way happier as a person. And these little things have major shifts on your income, right? How much you earn as a company and...

you know don't work all day to then go and put yourself in this bad environment so do what you can both in the business and out the business to set yourself up for success I'm not just talking about money here I'm talking about happiness I'm talking about fulfillment I'm talking about health right those people that align with those things cross over into many parts of life so there you have it that's how you live the red life and build team red I'll see you guys soon take care