#105 Candy
01:54:13 Share

Need new glasses or want a fresh new style? Warby Parker has you covered. Glasses start at just $95, including anti-reflective, scratch-resistant prescription lenses that block 100% of UV rays.

Every frame's designed in-house, with a huge selection of styles for every face shape. And with Warby Parker's free home try-on program, you can order five pairs to try at home for free. Shipping is free both ways, too. Go to warbyparker.com slash covered to try five pairs of frames at home for free. warbyparker.com slash covered. Hello, folks. Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. Let's go, folks.

Here we are, everybody. I'm sitting here with Dusty Slay, Aaron Weber, and who's out? Breakfast Bates. He was sick under the weather. Yeah. Y'all went hiking. That probably took a lot out of him.

You traveled with him? Yeah, we had a big weekend in Salt Lake City. You know, in the week before, I tried to get him to have a cigar, and that might have had some impact on him, too. Oh, yeah. It's the perfect storm. I think I really drug him down with that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You started it all.

Y'all had fun in Salt Lake, though, right? We did, man. A lot of folks came out. A lot of people. It was awesome. It was my first time in Salt Lake City. Yeah, Salt Lake's great. And the club was great. Everybody there was awesome. Thank you for everybody that came. Yeah, Wise Guys is awesome. Keith Stubbs, it's just an awesome, awesome place. I mean, Salt Lake and Utah is just such a – I mean, I go there all the time now. But it's a fun time.

Keith has the best. Charleston guy. That's where he grew up. Charleston. Oh, there you go. So we bombed. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Where, yeah, you were in, uh, where were you at? Well, I did a corporate gig in Chattanooga last week, but two weeks ago we were in, me and Bates were in, uh,

Huntsville. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we had a good time. Huntsville's wild in a weird way that I didn't know about. We were hanging out downtown on the streets. People were just drunk out there. It was... Yeah. It was wild. I had no idea. The cops got called to our hotel. It was a nice hotel, but...

I didn't know that was going on down there. I love that we've all been traveling with Bates. Now he's gone. Yeah. Now we can report back. Yeah. Yeah, y'all see how it was. Did you ride down with him? No, he took his own car. Yeah, yeah. You flew with him. I did fly with him. And I'll say this. Bates was great all weekend. We did that very one funny moment when I picked him up from the airport, just coordinating with him where to stand to get picked up.

was incredible, dude. It was so much back and forth and he's like waiting for his bag. And then I go, all right, I'm coming around. He goes, all right, I'm where the Ubers and Lyfts pick up.

I was like, why are you, I'm not an Uber or a Lyft. I was like, what are you doing? So then he had to go all the way back up, up an escalator, back down. But after that, everything was fine. You picked up in Departures. Is that what you did? Yeah, I picked them up where everybody goes to get picked up.

But do you go, do you ever, do you pick people up at departures? No, I've never done that. I used to tell people, I used to always say, go out, meet me at departures. Especially if it's late at night. I mean, because the bottom could be, arrivals could be insane. And then you're like, go to departures, and there's usually nobody. But they started putting a stop to that because, you know, people were doing it. Those airport traffic guys.

get pretty intense. Very intense. They don't like you waiting there. They'll come up, knock on my window. Well, it's a fun... I always feel bad for them because everybody's mad at them. You're like... I mean, what... They're like, yo, dude, it's going to be a zoo if I don't make you... You can't... Because people will just... You know...

Pull over and park and just wait. You can't do it. I wonder if that's their job all the time or if they go in and they're like, today you're on duty of getting people out of here. Yeah. Because if that's your job every day, at least you know what you're into. I think it is their job every day.

But like, what if like you go and you're like, just one day they're like, all right, now you got to get people out of the parking lot. And you're like, oh, I hate that. Yeah. I'm actually a really nice person. Yeah. And I have to go out there and everybody hates me. Yeah. You're like, no, I work at Burger King inside. They go, no, no, no, no. We need you outside. We need you to, we got to get it rolling.

There's always a short – I got delayed yesterday. I was on such a good streak. Everybody was getting so delayed and missing flights and all this stuff. And the flights I was taking, I was like, all mine were fine. And then last night coming home, we just got delayed like two hours. But I always have like a – I think I've gotten a lot better with – like you're like a zen or something. But you just kind of like – when it's out of your control and you're like –

You're like, I don't know, man. I just go to it. It can be stressful, but when you see everybody losing their mind, you're like, I definitely don't want to be mad. The people can be rude. The ones that work there, they can be rude. They cannot care. They can do all this stuff. But it's like, I don't know, man. They're just dealing with getting yelled at all day. There's a balance, though. When they're rude, they're rude. Some of them, you're like, hey, that's a very rude person. Yeah.

Especially if there's nothing you can do about it. Yeah. Just getting mad. You're just like all mad. And then you're still in the same spot that you would be in. But you're like, ah, it, it, it seems like it makes it worse because you're like, I really wanted to tell them how I feel and how I did. Yeah. And they didn't care.

Exactly. They should go. You know, it'd be funny if there's a delay, they just go, look, there's a delay because of weather or whatever, you know, or like we're checking on something on the plane and everybody's mad and they go, we can take off. You have a 20% chance we're going to go crash into a mountain. So raise your hand.

who's fine with that? And if you're fine with that, I'm fine with that. I don't care. You know, so like they should just, they worded it like that. And then people would be like, no, no, no, we'll wait. Yeah. Where's the pilot that doesn't care about death? Yeah. Where are you? Yeah. They should, that would be a crazy guy hair sticking out. Guys, you're mad. I get it. I want to go. I don't think we need the thing for the steering wheel either. So, right.

But I'm going to let you get your little heads up. 40% chance we're going to go into a mountain. The pilot's got a drink. He's stirring it. He's like, I'm ready. Yeah. He's like, if we die, it'll be immediately. And if we get up, we're going to be fine. If y'all are ready to take that chance, I'm ready to take that chance. And then people would calm down. I think so. Yeah. We were in, I did, we went hiking. I was in, starting to become a hiker. I really like it. It's fun, man. Yeah. Yeah.

It's, we went to Banff Mountains. We hiked one day and we were in Canada. It's unbelievable up there. Yeah, those pictures looked amazing. Oh, it's crazy. It looks like a Bob Ross painting. Yeah. I mean, they're just, it's so nice. And we did 10 miles one day. I saw that. That's a hike. That's a big one. Yeah.

I can walk. I'm not, I'm not against walking. We did one the day before that picture from the day before. Wow. Well, we went like straight up a back, the back of a mountain. Welcome to comics Tuesday. There's not much better than that either. Cause it's a lot of jokes, a lot of, and then, uh,

that one got a little nerve wracking just cause we were like, you're on the backside of this cliff. And then you're like, all right, here, you know, you're, we definitely hit some heights that I was like, well, I'm not comfortable with this. Uh, but it was, yeah, it was, it was an awesome, uh, experience. And, uh, yeah, hiking is, I get it. I get it. You going out there in the wilderness, uh, the Banff mountains, they have a hotel. We didn't stay at this hotel, but there's a hotel called the Fairmont and it's at, uh,

It's at Banff National Park, where you go. Lake, golly, not Lake Agnes. Lake Agnes you can walk to, but it's the big lake up there. Lake Louise. Lake Louise. Lake Louise is the one. And so there's a hotel where if you stay on that side of it, your view is just that. Every morning you'd wake up and just see it.

Lake Louise, Fairmont. And when we got there, there's a grizzly bear, three cubs. You saw? We didn't see it, but they were there that morning because you couldn't walk one way. You could still hike, but they had it kind of blocked off. And they said, well, the grizzly bear was here this morning. And people were like – they go, people were taking pictures and getting close. And so –

They had to put a rope to be like, we're just trying to give the grizzly bear the room. The grizzly bear wasn't there. It already went in the woods. Yeah, that's the hotel. Yeah, it doesn't even look real, this view. That's amazing. But the bear was down...

In the grass next to the hotel. Oh, wow. So they cheated if you get the parking lot view at this hotel. If you get that backside, they're like, oh, you get the resort view. And you're like, well, what's the other view? They go, the other view is people travel all over the world for that view. Yeah. And I'm sure you pay for that view. But you go eat. And we walked all the way. We walked all the way in the back.

uh there's a but the bears you have to yell hey bear hey bear as you walk down you go hey bear because a bear can you just try to give them some warning you don't have to say that specifically you could just yell but most people just say hey bear okay just let them know yeah i'm here and then yeah and you got to get out of that mode because then once you've been doing it all weekend and you go back to your hotel not in the mountains you're like hey bear you turn a corner hey bear

Did you ever talk about that time you fell on this podcast? You told me a story about falling when you were hiking. Oh, yeah. You ever talk about that? I can't remember if I talked about that. Maybe you don't want to tell people about it. I fell off a cliff. Yeah. Really? That big. What's it? Mammoth Cave National Park in Kentucky. Yeah. I was walking by myself. It was cold out. It was a little muddy, and I got lost off the trail, and I fell off the side of a cliff. Probably about a 15-foot drop. Yeah. Yeah.

And I grabbed onto a root, and it was like a scene from a movie. I'm hanging on this root, and there's nobody around. It was so cold. And I just eventually lost grip and slid all the way down into the water, like 30 feet down the mud. Oh, wow. It took me about half an hour. I crawled back up the side of it, covered in mud. It looked like I had to take a mud bath. And I had like three more miles to walk back to the car. I was covered in mud the whole time.

Yeah, it was bad. Didn't some family pass some family? Yeah, to do all that, and then you crawl up, and there's just a family walking by, and they're like, it looks like you're having a good time. Like, I'm actually having a terrible time down here. And you're too embarrassed to ask for help. Yeah, exactly. Like, you're having a good time. Actually, I almost just died. Yeah, I thought I was about to die five minutes ago. Yeah. I fell on a cliff, too. 60 feet. Wow. I didn't get to go down the slide that Aaron went down. Yeah.

I had a concussion. I had to go to the hospital. Don't remember the whole day. I was 12 years old. That's true? Yeah. Wow. I didn't talk about it in my stand-up, if you ever checked it out. You're not a fan of his stuff, huh? It's a pretty good story. Oh, I have heard that. Yeah. Dad's a magician, too. Dad's a magician. Yeah. And then we found out the guy. We actually really talked. My dad talked to the guy that pulled me up out of the water. We met him at a prison. He's in prison. Wow. So, yeah.

It's a good story. But Aaron's was great. And he slid down a... It was pretty steep, man. He slid down just a general hill. It wasn't a hill. Oh, dude, it wasn't a hill, man. I'm talking cliff, dude. A cliff, a canyon. I want to see the cliff. I do want to see the cliff, too. I'd like to see both of the cliffs, honestly. Yeah, let's go pound for pound on these cliffs. All right, all right. And then...

when I, so I fought looking at all this stuff. So you get your, I mean, you're so high up on, and when you go into these national parks and these, we got to one point near the edge. I mean, it's like, if you fell, it just is over. It's like, it's straight down. And I don't, I don't care for that. You know, I like kind of, I like stood, I was probably like me to you. And then I go, that's enough. And then I just kind of was like, I kind of backed off. I don't need that there. And there was a guy running up there, like just running on the ridge of it. And,

I don't understand how you don't have any... I mean, it's a weird mentality because you're like, all right, if I had to run on these rocks on the ground, I could do it. But the fact that they're up there, you're like, I can't do it. When you see a guy like that, you're like, it's clear that you've not fallen off a cliff before. Yeah, right. Right? Because he got no fear of it. But once you've fallen, you're like, oh, this could happen. Yeah, once you've slid 30 feet down in Kentucky. Yeah. Yeah, once you're down to your plummet...

That you had to go down. Yeah. I mean, because yeah, you're less brave when that's happened to you before. Have you ever heard of the call of the void?

That expression that when you're very high up, some people have an almost uncontrollable urge to jump off. Oh, yeah. And they're worried they're just going to run and jump off. Well, I think everybody has that feeling. You would think about it, right? You play it out in your head. You could have a feeling of... Yeah, people could have a feeling of pushing someone. And I looked into it one time. It could be something that you love so much. It's like the amount of love that you...

You could be a family member or it could be yourself, but it could be something that you love life, but then the worst case comes into your mind. And that's why you have that feeling of that or something. I don't know. I read it briefly. Maybe I just don't love enough, I guess. You know what I mean? You've never had that? I don't think so. No. I've had the feeling that I might fall. Yeah. And that's terrifying. Well, it's a little feeling. You're like, what if I jumped?

You don't ever wonder that? Well, yeah. I mean, I guess. How, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Well, it's like the- Maybe I don't hike enough. It's the, it's the, it's, yeah. You've never been in a unique situation. Yeah, yeah. You go, you know, when you put a gun to your head at night, you rush over the bed. Right, right. It's the same thing we're talking about. Okay, all right. I get that analogy. Yeah. It's the, it's the, how close you could be to ending it. Right. Is like the idea. I mean, it's like kind of dark. Yeah, yes. And it's like, I think people have that feeling of,

You're just like, wow, no one could stop me from doing this thing. Well, when I'm driving in the mountains, sometimes I want to drive my car into the truck off ramp, you know, the ramps where it saves you. I'm like, that seems fun to me. Yeah, you're going to a safer place. I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know you can get your car out of those things. I guess not. I don't know. I think your tire is sinking. It's just sand. And it just seems like, though, you could just ride it right out. Like, if I were driving a truck, it would be hard for me not to do it. Yeah, yeah. I used to see a lot more of those than I do now. Yeah. I feel like... I don't know. Like, I don't think I've seen one. I can't think about seeing one. Now, I don't know if I'm... You know, now I'm on a bus. I'm not just driving, so there's probably...

The bus driver sees them. Yeah, he's like, oh. There's still a lot of them in East Tennessee through the mountains. Yeah, I wonder if there are other places. Maybe I only remember them from just being like Tennessee.

Yeah, they're only on that one interstate, maybe. I don't know if I've seen them in other places. Well, it's like going to Atlanta, like going up and then down the Smoky Mountains. That's where they're at. That's where I picture them. Yeah. And I don't ever picture them anywhere outside of that. Really steep mountains. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. If it's not that steep, then you'll figure it out. I've driven a truck over those.

I had to drive. We were in my recycled tires. We had to take a, like I was driving a 26 foot box truck. Through those mountains? Yeah. Over the smoke mountains and down. And it's pretty scary. Cause I mean, the truck was loaded. Yeah. The tire. Can you feel the brakes not working as well? It's just, yeah, you can feel that it would get out of control real quick. Like it'd be hard. I need time to stop. And so, and you just got that much weight. And so I remember it was very, very nerve wracking.

Because then if it's something, you know, and you're, yeah, it's over. It's gone. It's done. Yeah. And if you ride into that thing, the truck's ruined and your boss is not like, at least you're safe. Oh, yeah. Your boss is like, you ruined the truck. Yeah. And you're not there on time. I'd imagine that they just tow you out though. Yeah. But it's a whole thing. But the boss would be mad. Yeah. The boss is, like when I deliver pizzas, there would be these neighborhoods that we wouldn't go to at night. But then, or my boss would say, if you feel unsafe, just bring the pizza back.

So if I felt unsafe, I just brought it back. And he would always be irritated with me. I'm like, hey, I felt unsafe. Do you feel unsafe a lot? Yeah, there's dogs out there in the yard. I was like, no, they didn't answer the phone. I'm like coming on back. Is that what they were talking about? Dogs? No, but I'm like, I felt unsafe.

You got a perfectly nice... I caught a vibe in there. He goes, this is before Labradoodles. Yeah, yeah. This was the real dogs. Yeah, I mean, dogs are coming out. They're big as the car. I'm like, I don't think so. Yeah. I got into...

going back to the unsafe feeling was like, so the, the saying, Hey bear on these trails. So I went down this whole path. I've been watching just, I'm trying to find any movie that involves a grizzly bear and I watch them. And, uh, I just watched the edge last night with, uh, that's great. Alec Baldwin, Anthony Hopkins. Oh yeah. And, uh, there's a, there's a bit, there's a grizzly bear in it. It's great. Oh wow. And, uh, so like these kinds of survival wilderness, I went down to just this kind of,

I was looking up bear attacks. Like the whole, all of it was like how you deal with them. We had to carry bear spray with us. Cause it's like you're, you know, grizzly bears are just, it's, it's unreal to grizzly bears. It looked at who could win in a fight. A grizzly bear can beat up. There's five animals that a grizzly bear, they say couldn't beat up. Okay. Would you know? Five animals that, that could take a grizzly bear? Yeah. Yeah. Don't look it up. I'm going to say a lion, a,

No. No? Okay. Good start. Let's say... Oh, but we could go maybe a polar bear. No. So a polar bear is bigger than a grizzly bear, but polar bears... Grizzly bears and polar bears interact, and the grizzly bears will take food from the polar bear. The grizzly bear is so aggressive. Let's go rhinoceros. That was number one. Okay. Yeah, that was number one. I would say maybe an elephant. Yeah. Because it's so big. Yeah. There's one you won't get. A gorilla? No. No.

Grizzly bears, they're just so much stronger and bigger. What about a porcupine? Yeah, number three. Okay. I give you elephant, rhino, hippo. Okay, hippo, yeah. Elephant, rhino, hippo. What about a crocodile? Nile crocodile. Yeah. And the last one I don't think you get. The last one's kind of, it's not in that world. Mosquito. Mosquito.

No. Piranha. COVID. Just made the list recently. Just made the list. Before that, it was four. American bison. Whoa. Yeah, they're huge. Yeah. So those are the ones. Because they're...

I mean, grizzly bears are just, they're aggressive and they're so powerful. So those bears, so when you're hiking out there, the bears are out there. I mean, they're like, if it comes, I watched a video on a dude that got double attacked by a grizzly bear. He was, he's like a hunter. So they go out there, he'll have bear spray. This dude's like goes elk hunting and like is a real legit hunter.

like hunter and knows how to go out in the woods and lives and you know be in the wilderness they have like a pistol on them and then uh they have bear spray and and he's going they're going through and he said he was yelling he's going hey bear hey he's alone like you're just doing that that's usually enough we have these bells too we we bought bells you walk around the bell and like rings a little bit and a bear bell and so it's like enough to like so the bear would hear you then because the bear doesn't want to meet you but it's like if you walk up on it

it's that's when you can get in trouble. The bell thing though, we wore it the first day and no one else had a bell. And I felt so stupid as we're walking by these people like ding, ding, ding. And then I looked it up and people were like, yeah, those don't, you know, cause it's like, they're not loud enough. Like the bears hearing is like our hearing, I think. And so it's like, you know, I don't know. It's like, maybe it would work and it's not, you could do it, but it's,

I mean, we're walking by children without bells. And so I was like, all right. We were yelling, hey, bear, so much. And you just go, hey, bear. Just a group of family of four walks by. You're like. And you're like, oh. I thought you were a bear. Sorry, I thought. And no one's yelling, hey, bear. I mean, when we went to that one where the hotel was at, I mean, that's the most. There's the most people on earth are on that. There's a tea house up at the top.

So you get to the top and there's a tea house and you can like sit down and have a tea. These kids live up there. They live up there for, I want to say, something we asked. There's like four days and they get three days off and they have to hike back down to where they...

And I asked one girl, I was like, do you see stuff crazy? They're like, oh, yeah. They go, we had a porcupine last night try to get in our, like was scratching on our door. She was like, I've seen a wolverine out here. And so these kids are just out. You're just out. Because once it closes, then no one's really hiking. So it's just pitch black. It doesn't get dark out there until 10 o'clock at night. Wow. Sun sets at 10.09. Wow.

So we were, I mean, you hike late and it comes, the sun comes up at like four. Uh, but so we're saying, Hey bear and all that stuff. And then, but these girls are the guy that got double tacked. So he goes up and, uh, he's walking up with the, he's doing that. He's a grizzly bear with cubs and he's like up a little bit up on a ridge. And then he kind of goes that way. And he's like, all right. He's like, well, he went up and away from me. So the guy kind of, I think he kind of keeps going, keeps an eye out, but the grizzly bear put the cut, just made the cup stay at the top and then came behind him. Oh,

And then like, uh, and then attacked him, bit his arm. It was like kind of a crazy attack. Grizzly bear finally left. And he's like, once it, he's like, he got his bear spray out, sprayed it. Grizzly bear just ran through the bear spray. Uh,

He said he could tell that he was annoyed by it, but it seemed like he was okay. And you got to lay down, cover your neck, and then whatever. So the bear ends up leaving. So his head's kind of got blood everywhere. His arms, his legs are fine. He's got a three-mile hike back to the car. So he's walking back to the car. And the way he's walking...

Without knowing, the grizzly bear is also parallel, right? So they're both walking this... Not tracking him. The grizzly bear is trying to leave, and he's trying to leave, but they just...

Accidentally are leaving the same direction. So they end up crossing paths again, and he's in a creek, and he just turns. And before he can even do anything, the bear is just 10 feet in on him. The bear's like, you've not had enough, huh? Yeah, then just starts throwing him everywhere, starts biting him and breaks his arm. I mean, just rips him to shreds. He's just having to lay there, and you're trying not to move. You're trying not to be a threat to it. It's...

you're playing dead, but you're not, grizzly bears don't care much about playing dead as much as like a black bear, I guess. From what I read. All this, by the way, if you're listening to this and in the middle of a bear attack, I don't, I'm like, don't, I can't say I'm positive about all this. Do your own research. Do your own research. Don't send a comment to the podcast being like, this didn't work.

Yes. I mean, I picture someone right now going, no, these bears are just here. And I'm going, just lay there. Just look. I would say from what I know, and you're in the bear attack, if you're in it right at this moment as you listen to this, cover the back of your neck and try not to move and just take it. You got to just deal with it. And then...

And then finally the grizzly bear thought he was gone. And, uh, I mean, and the grizzly bear would sniff its neck, trying to make it, make him move. So if you're laying there now and you're like, well, the bear is kind of calmed down. Well then maybe, you know, like just, he might try to like sniff your neck or kind of make a little bite that yeah. He's trying to make sure you're not going to just stay there. And I'll give you one more. Hey bear. Hey bear. Hey bear. Just in case the bear can hear the podcast. Yeah.

You know, I used to play in the woods all the time. I was never afraid of bears. It never even crossed my mind to be afraid of them. Well, the bears probably had more money than you. Yeah. So... The bear... Well, they weren't looking to rob me. That's for sure. They lived in a nice neighborhood, didn't they? But when I saw The Revenant, it changed my whole... I mean, I'm like, I know this is a movie, but I'm terrified of a bear now. Bears are... I became pretty like... I mean, I'll see how long it lasts. But I...

But I became kind of obsessed with them. Like they were, it was just, they're so big.

And it's just this giant thing. And you're just, and especially, uh, specifically a grizzly bear, grizzly bears are just, they can just take care of anything. Like nothing. They really don't have a predator and they, uh, I mean, you know, people can hunt them, but if they come upon you, it's bad. Yeah. I mean, I caught a raccoon in a trap last night. I didn't even mean to really, I'm trying to catch a gopher and I caught a raccoon and I'm a, I just let the raccoon go. Right. But I'm,

The trap is not set up in an easy way to just let things go. Oh, yeah. I had to really rig it up. And this raccoon just took off. But, I mean, I'm terrified of this little thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And, you know, run up on a bear out in the woods. You just have no – well, I always like – I love that you caught a raccoon last night. It took 30 minutes for that to come up. Yeah. Just the life that you live. Oh, by the way, I caught a raccoon last night. Yeah. Well, you know, just in my neighborhood. But, yeah, it just comes around. It digs in my trash and my compost. And, you know, I put a little steak meat out there, a little fat. You would call it compost. Yeah. Yeah.

And it came right. That's a guy that catches raccoons. He goes, he's all in my compost. And you're like, what? Tear through my refuse out there. Is that your, do you burn your trash and food at night or something? I don't know. What do you? Well, I got, you know, I got several. My wife would like if I did not have them, but I got a few cans out there where I let the fruit, I don't know, I try to turn it and turn it into dirt.

I don't know. They say you put all your fruit and your vegetable scraps out there. That's the compost. Yeah. Yeah. And then these, yeah, the,

This guy does. People are paying tickets to watch this guy. They can't even say, it's like being relatable, where your audience can't even be like, they're like, is he relatable? You're like, no, he does worse stuff than we do. He goes, no, I'm just trying to go, it's like a museum. I go watch him. I go watch him, he talks about his compost, and he got in a raccoon fight last night.

So I like to hear those stories. Those are fun. Well, that is true. If not for my wife, who knows where I would live and where I would be, what I'd be up to. I wanted to convert a shed into a house. Yeah. My wife's like, I'm not living in a shed. Yeah. I was like, all right, well. Yeah, wives are good. They kind of keep you like, hey, man, it's not the 1800s. Right. Let's at least –

Yeah, I mean, I bought land and didn't even realize there were building codes. She looked it up. She's like, I don't think we're allowed to just convert a shed into a house. So I called the city and they were like, oh, yeah, you're not allowed to do that. Even on your own land? Yeah. I mean, depends on where you're at. You go far enough out there, there's no building codes. Yeah.

Which, hindsight, I wish I had done that. Yeah. I'm sure you will. Yeah, I'll figure it out. I'll figure it out. I think you're going to get farther and farther. I think this is the closest you'll ever be to the city. If I get to theaters, then I'm going to go further out into the woods. I get it. I could get... I started looking up all the survival stuff when I was looking at these bears. I love being out there in nature. It's so awesome. Yeah. And then you're like, you just want to be alone and you want to...

I get it. I get being able to live on your own. If you have the fear of...

you know, everything coming crashing down around you and like, you guys, how reliant you are on all this stuff. I mean, I don't want to go crazy because, but it's like, you do, I could, I get the idea of being like, I would like a place to go to, like just to be, even just to go, it's fun to go, just be not near you, you know, just kind of turn it off. I mean, I lived in a house one time with a, or a pipe busted. So we had the water shut off for a day. And I was like,

It felt like a whole world shut down. I was like, I can't wash my hands. I can't use the bathroom. I can't drink water. Like imagine if there were no water anymore. I mean. Yeah. Like they shut it off. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it would be, I mean, in the power went out one time. I let that go out. I lapsed on the bill, but sleeping with the, with no air conditioner for a night. It's just like, it feels like a nightmare. Yeah. Yeah. That would be, it's hard. Yeah. Yeah.

That's stuff you got to deal with. The one thing I was going to say about bear, you know, they always say if the bear charges you, it's like just stay in your ground. But, you know, has anybody tried running? They're like, don't climb a tree, don't run. They can do it too. And you're like, but I mean, should I just try to run? The other way is you stay in your ground and you're like, you got to just take it. And the bear doesn't want to really always eat you. Yeah. So you just maybe just take some damage. But

But then there's part of me that I know I'm not saying I can run faster than him, but if I zigzag, if I jump through some trees, there's a lot of trees. Just the idea that you're like, no one – I would like to be like, let me see someone – I would like to see someone that's ran. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I want to know for sure, because it's the idea that you're like, we can't outrun the bear. You're like, I know I can't outrun the bear, but – I can outthink it. I can outthink it. Do a little parkour through the woods. Do a little – Yeah, yeah. A little ha-ha. Yeah.

You know, like, where am I going? Hey, bear. Hey, bear. Yeah, hey, bear. I'm over here. And then you run over there. And then if you climb a tree, like, you're just like, well, at least he's below me. So if he starts climbing it, you just start kicking. That's what I say, kick down. Yeah. You kick down. And then you're like, I mean, and if I climb a tree that's like, you know, now if he knocks the tree down. But there's a point if he's going to get you. There's part of me that just thinks, I'm going to. Maybe the bear might go, this is actually frustrating. Yeah. Yeah.

This guy, he's not a threat to me. Yeah, just get bored and leave. Or run at it. Yeah, I think that's the way to go. Go looking for him. Pick a fight. Go run at it right before you get to dive to the right. That's not a bad idea. That's not a bad idea. Yeah.

Just different ways. The bear's like, what's going on here? Yeah. The bear, he's like, I've never seen this. Usually it's a lot easier than this. That's what you think, you know. And then you start eating it. You start biting its body. You become a bear. You become a bear. Like Grizzly Man. We watched Grizzly Man 2.

The guy that lived with grizzly bears. They made it too? No. Oh, okay. No, we watched it this weekend. I was going to say that too. I remember watching that one when it came out. You know, it's interesting. What he did was kind of the beginning of that stuff. I remember watching when that came out. We watched it. This weekend, Vecchione was with us and then Nick –

No, Vicky and Dustin Chafin. And so me, Nick, and Dustin lived together at the time. We all watched this together when it came out. I mean, I was in love with this thing. I had a joke about it. I forget what the joke was. But this guy was the first guy kind of...

Like going to live like you film stuff like actually like Survivor Man type stuff. Yeah. Like I don't know if it was before Survivor Man, but I mean, this dude just lived out with these bears and everything was cool. And then one bear just was like. This is how delusional I was about bears. I watched this. I didn't think it was that big of a deal.

until seeing The Revenant to where I'm like, oh, I just was so... But did you watch the end of it? Yeah, where he gets... Yeah, I mean, I... I mean, the whole... You just hear it. Yeah, they don't play it. Yeah. But I mean, the bears eat him. Yeah. Which is actually worse than The Revenant because it killed him and his girlfriend. Yeah, so you watched that whole... And so you still were fine with... Well, I guess because you can't see it.

Yeah, yeah. But this is real life. You're reverence a movie. I just was so delusional. And that movie was the 1800s and this was 2005. Yeah. Dusty's a visual learner, I think. Yeah, I was so delusional. We were saying, so this guy that did this, he tried to, he auditioned to be in...

Cheers. Supposedly. Supposedly. He was... He came in second behind Woody Harrelson, who got the bartender in Cheers. So this dude is like an actor. He's like his own kind of guy. Like very just kind of out there. Like in theory, he... You know, it's like...

It's someone that's – their heart's in the right place. But it's like this is what Hollywood does to you. Yeah. They tell you no enough that you go, well, I'm going to go live with the bears. Yeah. And then you end up – and he lived there for 13 seasons. Wow. And I think Letterman had him on. It's like the people that are creative, like if Hollywood says no enough, you're just like, well, what about bears? And you're like, all right. Yeah. Wow. And he filmed it.

One guy became Woody Harrelson, and this is what happens to second place. Yeah. Yeah. You got to live with bears. Yeah. All right. So let's go to your comments. We kind of went backwards today. Comments a little bit later. A little mix-up. Got into bear talk. I've been wanting to talk about it the whole time.

I like it. Yeah, if you're still on the ground with a bear, a person that's in a bear attack right now. Try to run now. Try to run now. Yeah. Yeah. At this point, if the bear's on top of you, wiggle out and then run. Try communicating. Yeah. Be like, actually, I'm not trying to hurt you. I'll tell you what. Why don't you go grab one of the cubs and then hold your knife up against the cub and go, do you want...

Go back away. Take a cub hostage. Take a cub hostage. Yeah. Take a cub, yeah. Why don't they say that? Yeah, I mean, let the bear know that I'm not here to play around. They go, that's what they should do. What happens with the bear decks? They go, you got a lot of options. Run at it. Run away. Zigzag. Show it that you have teeth. Show it you have, yeah. That's a Joe Zimmerman joke. You just smile at the wolf.

You know, climb a tree. I know they climb trees, but, you know, I don't think they climb them as much as you think they do. They're kind of a little bit on the heavier side. Climb a small tree. And so. And it'll be afraid to go up. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, oh, I don't like that. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want him to push it over, though. But just climb up there. What's he going to, I mean, climb, get above it and then kick, you know. Jump down on it.

Or let him climb it and then you climb it after him. Cannonballs. And then he's like, where am I going to go now? And now you're under it. And he's like, you know, he can't get, he's trying to bite you. And he's like, I think you jump off down and go like toothpick, you know, that move off the diving board. Yeah. Right into it. Jackknife on him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. These are all solid moves to do.

Hotel comments. Robert Daniel. My first career was in hotel operations, so naturally I loved the hotels episode. I always found it interesting to see the kinds of things guests left behind. A Secret Service member who I think was accompanying Elizabeth Dole left his lapel ID pin.

He called the next day to ask if it's been turned in. I explained it hadn't, but I would check the room at my first opportunity. If it was vacant, he let me know he was en route to the hotel and expected that the pin would be retrieved by the time he arrived, regardless of whether there was a guest in the room or not. Needless to say, we had it waiting for him at the front desk. Yeah, that's funny that it's like, he goes, well, when I get a chance, I'll go up there and check. He's like...

And that guy's like, my whole life depends on this. So he goes, I don't, we're going to go get it. Just I'll, I'll kick the door open. Well, if someone's in there, then I need you to get a room and wait till they, they check out. And he's going to stand outside. Yo guys checking out. Oh, we got late. Check up. Yeah. Go ahead and check it. Go ahead and check it out for me. When we get a chance. Nah, nah.

Mike Martel. I used to work at a boutique hotel outside of Nashville. You'd be surprised as to how many shortcuts a housekeeping team can take to get room prepared for the next guest. A little hint. Always pull back the comforter and look at the part of the sheets near where your feet would be for stains.

With short staffing, hotels sometimes just rotate the sheets on the bed instead of changing them out. Towels and robes are stolen all the time. The hotel I worked at would inspect each room's inventory after a stay and would throw huge charges on the guest bills if items were missing. Robes were $100 and towels were $15 a towel. Well, that's disgusting. Yeah. I don't want to have to throw the sheets back to see if there's stains on the feet.

Well, then don't do it. Yeah. Don't worry about it. Yeah. And disbelief. Yes. Yeah. That's disgusting. It's not a bad deal on towels and robes, though. Really not. $100? $100 for a nice robe? Yeah. I'm guessing that's about $100. Yeah, yeah. It's like $100 for a robe that's been worn by 2,000 people. Yeah, and if you're stealing the robe...

I mean, just go buy a robe. Sometimes I put the robe on for jokes and videos, but I'm not interested in wearing the hotel robe. I'm not a robe guy. Yeah. I don't wear a robe. When are you supposed to wear a robe? I like the idea in theory. What do you do? That's like after a shower because they wear robes so they're not life-stunning in a hurry.

And they don't have to be. Yeah, if you're lounging around the house. I go, I don't know. All women get out of the shower and have apparently the day free. I mean, I got to put my clothes on wet because I got to go do something. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I never got the robe thing either, but now when I got days off and it's the wintertime, you just get up, throw the robe on. I would wear a robe if we're going to go to the hot tub or the pool at a hotel. That's the only time I'd take it. You take the robe down there for that. Oh, it's kind of a between. Yeah, I mean, I don't need to walk down there. Shirtless. Yeah, you don't need to see everything. Makes sense. You're already getting in the pool. That's enough. And they come down and you're like,

open the thing and you're just standing there with your shirt off. Or if you just want the neighbors to know you got the day off. You go out there with a little coffee. Yeah, I guess in the morning you just put it on. So I bet answering the door, the rogues are nice.

Maybe if I found the right robe, I would become a robe person. That feels a little creepy to answer the door in a robe. Well, you just kind of put together. It depends on the robe. You don't have to be naked under the robe either. You can do a t-shirt or whatever. You don't have to be. That definitely changes things. You're not seductively opening the door. Yeah, yeah. Seductively open the door. Welcome, UPS. Yeah. Now come on in.

Been expecting you. Got the email. Yeah. I would say, yeah, maybe I need to be shown a good robe. I haven't been shown a good robe. Yeah. That could be it. That could be it. That's like people wearing pajamas. I mean, I don't wear pajamas. I don't get into the pajama thing. I wear, yeah, I just wear...

basketball shorts it would not it would not surprise me dusty if you had a full pajama outfit with the little sleeping hat yeah the ball at the end of it you could see it you know it could be the same thing i've not had the right pajama suit yeah how are you gonna you know what if you gotta go to hear a sound outside you gotta go right let a raccoon we got a versace bathrobe here six hundred dollars what do you think what about a carhartt pajama set

Do they have pajamas? I don't know. I mean, that seems like the way to go. Rugged. I think, so the theory for me with robes is that you would buy that and then never, I would forget I have it. And then you'd be like, oh, I got to, yeah, you know what? I'm supposed to be wearing a robe. Yeah.

And then I would, you know, I don't know how you forget it. You're like, is the light on in my closet? And they're like, no, it's just that robe. Every time you go turn the light on, now it's the robe. It's $600. I mean, look, if robes are your world, then I guess you could talk yourself into getting something like that. Yeah, they got it in 3X. But I bet you could buy something. I'm going to show up in these. It looks very close, too. I think I would rather like a very, very large one.

It looks close to an I love barbecue bathrobe, too. I mean, I know that's... I wake up very cold in the morning. I'm a very cold person in the morning. Uh-huh. But I'll just get up and put like a hoodie on. Yeah. I like a nice hoodie. Hoodies, poor man's robe. Yeah.

You can answer the door in a hoodie and you look like you're... And it's not creepy at all to answer the door in a hoodie. You're like, you're ready for the day. Yeah, you're like, what's up? You're like, yeah, I just got done kicking it with my boys. That's all. Been up all night. Yeah, I got... What's up, dude? Yeah. How's that package for me? I don't care. Leave it outside. You sign for it, I sign a different name. I go, I don't care, bro. I'm in a hoodie. It's 9 a.m. That is a different vibe. That's a different vibe. That's different.

The robe is just like, I want you to get your life together. Your robes look more sad. You can hoodie it any time of the day. This girl actually on the screen does not look all that happy. No. No, I think if you wear that robe, I don't think your life is... I think you got to...

You got to make it look like your life is. Yeah. You're like, oh, that robe was nice. I think, yeah, you're trying to find meaning in a bathrobe at this point. So, yeah, neither of them are going to be too happy or fulfilled. They just got into a fight. They did. Then they had to pose for this picture. Because they never go to work. They've been home together all the time. Yeah. They're angry with each other. Yeah, we looked.

And they thought, let's get matching robes. That'll save this relationship. I don't think I like the tie thing because you tie it around your waist and then it just opens up your chest. And then you're like, well, now. Yeah. You're like, now it looks terrible. So you got to tie it higher and then now I feel uncomfortable. Maybe if I found a robe that I didn't have to tie and it was almost like a long rain jacket. Like a Velcro strap. I think just the whole thing is Velcro.

Just comes across. The whole bathrobe is filled. Yeah, when he comes around, it's... Yeah, yeah. And when you get ready to take it off... Yeah. You know, that's... There's a point you just get like a slanket or the... Snuggie. Snuggie. Slanket's the original. Snuggie. That's right. But get a Snuggie. What about the... Like a slap bracelet robe? You remember those? Yeah. You could just lay down on it. And it shuts on you. Yeah. Yeah. That could be a lot of fun. Yeah. Could be fun. Yeah.

Every morning, it's a lot of noise. Every pop. Yeah. Nate's up. Bam. Is your wife up? I don't think. Bam. Yeah, she's up. I just heard her. She clocked in.

Kendall Eaton. I checked into a hotel about 11 p.m. I opened the door and saw towels all over the floor, the TV on, and somebody's feet sticking up at the end of the bed. I closed the door and went downstairs and told the lady at the front desk. All she said was, huh, that's weird. And then gave me another room and said, let me know if there's someone in that one. Not even in a joking way. She's like, here's seven keys. Yeah. If you find one empty, take that one.

Good luck. Huh? That's weird. Yeah. I love that. That would be, yeah. I've done that. Not, not, I mean, I opened the door one time and the people were like, Hey, hello, hello. And they were just, and we stood there and talk for a while. Yeah. And then, and I went back down and did you get inside the room?

They never let me in, but they seemed very okay that I was there. It's kind of weird. Like you go into someone's hotel room, like especially if they took a shower and you can feel they took a shower. It's like uncomfortable. I find that uncomfortable. I'm like very, like if someone comes to the room, I like to, I would only want you in the room if like it's, my stuff still is like kind of in my suitcase. It's really put away. Like I feel uncomfortable if you're, I want it to be cleaned. Yeah. I would feel very, you come in and it's like,

The bed's a mess and you're like, your towel's on the ground in the bathroom. You're like, I'll let you come in after I get it cleaned. Let me tidy up a bit. Let me tidy. Yeah. Give me two seconds. Let me get put together. Nathan Knight. I write software for industrial laundry equipment. The microchip is called an RFID tag and costs less than a dollar each.

They are more frequently used to determine how many times a towel has been washed so it can be automatically sorted out after a certain number of uses. They are also used to make sure the towels get returned to the correct hotel since they are washed in machines that can handle 1,000 pounds of laundry at a time. Wow. So they do have them. Oh, yeah. $1, huh? RFID tag. That's interesting. For $1. So I guess it is worth it. Yeah.

That's why the towel costs $15. Man, you have to split that up, though. They got to just like, you know, are you washing a lot of towels that are mixed in with other hotels? I would think, what if that's what they're doing at that factory? And they're like, what if you just did all the hotels from that hotel in that washing machine? They go, huh, what do y'all do? We have to scan every one of them. You know, this one's a Ramada. We got a Red Roof Inn over here. We got a courtyard. Yeah.

I wonder if those people can probably tell a towel. Oh, yeah. You go give them a towel and you go, where is this from? And he's like... Rub it against their cheek a little bit. Yeah, they feel it. He goes... That's a red roof right there. He goes, Hilton, exit 45, right off the exit. God, you know that exact... He goes, room 247. Whoa, dude. You've been working with these hotel...

Yeah. I mean, imagine though that your job is, he says, I write software for an industrial laundry equipment. Like it seems like that job gets worse the longer you describe it.

Like when I say, I don't know, I don't think it got more interesting. Well, maybe more. Well, but it's like I when I sold pesticides, I would say I'm a sales rep for a chemical company. Yeah. And the more people ask questions, the more it was like, all right, I sell pesticides. Yeah. I think it's funny that you're writing software for industrial laundry equipment.

Looking at your face saying I sell chemicals. Yeah. Then I'll go, well, I'm going to go in because I feel like they want to put you in your place. Right. To where then you end up having to go, I sell pesticide. They go, exactly. Just say that. That could be true. You're trying to make it sound –

more glamorous. When I, yeah, that is true. When I stopped waiting tables to do this job, it felt good to be able to tell people that I didn't wait tables. Yeah. But after a while, I was like, you know what? I'd rather just tell people I'll wait tables. Yeah. This is too much explanation. Yeah. Like this guy probably goes, uh, I, I must, I write software.

And so then that's the big, oh, wow. And if they said, what for? And he's like, for industrial laundry. But he needs to explain. He goes, you know that towels all have these tags. Like, then his job is awesome. If he just said, I wash, I write software for industrial laundry equipment. And someone's like, that seems weird. He can't be like, I keep track of the towels. Yeah, but if he tells us that, it's like, I didn't know that. Then you're like, wow, I met a guy that writes all the software for all the towels and

in all the hotels. Like, golly, dude. Throw a camera in a couple of them. Yeah. All right. A little too much on the fully loaded tour. Lisa Stief, Stief. Aaron's story about collecting, it's a very big camera too. Like, you pick it up and it's like, you can barely get it off the ground. What is that, a Canon? Sony Handycam. Yeah.

Lisa's Steath or Stife? Aaron's story about collecting hotel keys as memories is great.

When our first son was born, my mom took a photo of my new family. When he turned one month old, we recreated it. We continued doing it every month to watch our kids grow and change. He just turned 18, and we're taking the same style family photo every single month of his life. He's about to leave for college, so my husband and daughter will continue to take them, but I told him my son, he's got to send me a selfie monthly when he's not home. That's much different than Aaron's hotel keys. Yeah.

I think it's the same thing. No, that's a beautiful thing that she's doing. You don't think it's beautiful what I'm doing? Look at how much the keys have changed. That's not what I'm doing. It goes over time. I'm not a historian. When I used to go do these keys, and we used to go this one, you have to stick in. Now, you just put it on, I have it in my wallet. She's taking, like you're seeing, she's seeing that her family grow. That's very neat.

Well, yeah, well, I'm watching my career grow. And to see in the different kind of hotels that you're in. Well, to just see the progression through time of the different gigs that I'm doing. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of a fun thing. Yeah. They're both done with the same intention. We'll look back on this years from now, and it'll be a special thing. But the thing she has pictures of can actually go contribute to life. Yours are, again, about just you. Like Bates that goes to bed every night and just thinks about himself. With his.

So they took a picture of their whole family every month for 18 years? I'll be honest with you. I imagine the kids are not in love with it. Yeah. But it's always going to be, it's something that's very nice. Like if this kid- I mean, every month. That's a lot. That's a lot. But- If this kid takes his date back to the house and they're like, let's look at the family photos. I mean, it's- Oh, it's big. Yeah. Yeah.

And the person's like, well, this is just the same photo. Yeah, you go, keep going, go a little faster. You got to flip it. You do like a flip book. If you do a flip book, yeah, then it would go. Oh, can I, while we're on the topic of this, just to put an end to this story. I know we're past the point of caring.

But I've got, this is the baseball glove. Oh, wow. It's been brought back to me. I appreciate everybody. I'm still getting messages asking to go pick it up for me. We have the glove. People say it doesn't even exist. It is a real glove. It's in Nate's hand right now. It's a mag. It's a real not good glove. It's a good glove? It's all right. It's definitely, it's lived in. Yeah. Put a lot of. 1997, I graduated high school.

Yeah, yeah. It's a good glove. Yeah. So I've got it back. Thank you, Steve Byrne, for doing that. Thank you, everybody, for reaching out and asking about it. Thanks for bringing it. I mean. Guys, thanks everybody. I did win the lottery. Oh, wow. You have your little thing to show? Oh, I didn't think I should. I didn't know I should bring it. But I guess y'all want to see it. Michael Finn. Someone brought up that business. Oh.

It's how I attack a sentence sometimes. You jumped in with a lot of confidence. I go in super hard and I'm like, hey, this one might be a long one. That's why you don't run at the beginning of a hike because you're like,

You can serve your energy. That's how I need to read sentences. Yeah, if you can't see the peak. I can't see the peak. Serve it. Someone brought up... Could be a bear somewhere in the center. Hey, bear. Someone, hey, bear, brought up that business can get a tax deduction for collecting charitable donations from customers. I have an accounting degree and can tell you this is a wildly perpetuated myth. Is that it? Perpetuated. Perpetuated. Perpetuated.

Perpetuated. Is that it? Yeah, perpetuated. Perpetuated. Wildly perpetuated myth. What does perpetuated mean? Just like spread around? Yeah, to make it happen. So it's a wildly spread myth. If a company, I guess college, picked up that perpetuated. It's a big myth. It's a big. Yeah, people like to let you know they've spent money on education. They talk a lot about it.

I like to make those people explain the words. Yeah. Because then they really, I think it makes them, you know, they're like, it's perpetuated. And then you go, what does that mean? You're like spread out and you go, you don't say anything. You just look at them and you go, oh, so it's a spread out myth. And they go, yeah. If the definition is shorter than the word itself. Yeah. Might not need that word. It feels nice. It's a way to bring them down to your, you're playing at this field now.

And then they have to change everything they're about to tell you. And they start using, like, sounds. They go, you got a pen? I'll draw some stuff. Uh...

If a company wants a deduction for charitable donations, they must pay it out of their own earnings. A donation from a customer is not part of their earnings. When they collect donations from customers, they are merely acting as a collection agent and do not receive any tax benefit for donating on their behalf. Keep up the great work. All right. Interesting. That's interesting. I don't believe it. Something still makes me... Yeah. Maybe it's the glory. I don't like the glory that they're...

You know, like they, cause they, and not saying that I want the glory, but they definitely take the glory. They definitely say here at Dick's Sporting Goods, we have brought back all this money and bought, like it's the, you know, and it's like a publicity thing. Sure. And then you're like, well, your customers all, you know, you made us, you guilted us into it. And so. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I can't. Yeah. Yeah.

You've never been a big charity guy. Go ahead, Justin. Well, he says I have an accounting degree. Like one time I was a trivia host and I read this medical question out and this girl comes up, she brings the answer and she's talking about someone at her table and she goes, this is right. I know because he's a doctor, right? Yeah. And then when I read the answer, the answer they gave me was not correct. Mm-hmm.

And she got so mad at me. And she was like, oh, are you a doctor? You know, I'm like, well, clearly not. I'm hosting trivia. Yeah.

I'm on my way. Right. But just because there's an accounting degree. I'm closer than you. I got the right answer. Yeah. I mean, does this guy have all the answers? I don't know. Yeah. People tend to think they have all the answers. I mean, I don't have the answer to this. I don't. And that's why, yeah, when someone says an answer, I'm like, I don't know. It might not be true. And why is it so wildly spread?

Why is this myth so widely spread? Well, because everybody, we've already talked, because we said it, that everybody thinks like, oh, but you write that off. Like, that's what makes me want to give. Oh, yeah. But he's saying that they don't get to write off, they don't get a benefit from that. That's what they would want us to believe, I think. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Michael Finn, what are you, or should you be, is your real name Macy's? Yeah, exactly. You're like, Michael JCPenney Finn shows up.

Hey, how you doing, Michael Finn? Did you marry the Dillard's family? Why are you defending these? How dare you, Michael Best Buy Finn? How dare you? Vonda Hoggle. That's a great name. That's a great name, Vonda Hoggle. Hodgel. We call her Hoggle. Hoggle. Oh, Vonda Hoggle. Vonda.

uh bonda could you come over that seems like a name that's always getting vonda could we talk to you for a second oh you're always getting talked to yeah you know like vonda vonda she's always walking by a door and it's always vonda could you come here the dmv they're yelling back hey vonda vonda yeah regarding dusty talking about how having his hand raised and his casket dies

Yeah, it's the quickness I start with. My mother used to say that when she died, she wanted to be laid on her side and propped up in her casket so she could see who all came to the visitation and funeral. When she did die and I was meeting with the funeral director, I asked if he could do this just to see what he would say. After listening to him try to figure out what to do in this situation without offending me in my time of grief, my pastor who was with me finally said, she is joking. You do not have to do that.

He literally had a sigh of relief and said he was so thankful because he wasn't sure how they could pull something like that off. Well, I love how long she seemed to let this go. Yeah, Vonda's fun. That's why Vonda's... Clearly, you see why Vonda's getting pulled into the office so much. How Vonda is that? Vonda. So Vonda. Can you, again, with the funeral stuff, Vonda, we are a business, all right? And you just can't be out there

telling all, I mean, everything. She seemed to let this go for a while. I mean, the pastor had to come in. You know, listen, this is a joke here. She's really nailing it. You know, Lou Holtz, legendary Notre Dame coach, he already has his burial plot on the Notre Dame Cemetery, and he arranged it to face the stadium. Oh, yeah. So that he could watch the games after he died. Yeah. So it's kind of a common thing, I guess, to have a

Well, but it's the idea of like, so like you'll be in the ground. He'll be in the ground. He'd have to sit up. It'd be tough to sit up. He would have to sit up. And the stadium's pretty high up. Yeah. And he's not even in the stadium. Yeah. That's true. If you want to see the game, be buried in the stadium. Yeah. That's really the way to go. In the press box or something. 50 yard line, I say. Yeah. Yeah. But right in the middle. Yeah. Why not? Aliens part two comments.

John Gonzaga, in a course I attended in college, my professor had a theory that aliens are actually humans and are the results of failed experiments. These alien sightings are also common to occur near military bases because they are housed there in order to keep them out of the public eye.

This was the same instructor who once mentioned he knew he had the ability to cap human cells and prevent aging. It was later in the semester I found out he was in his late 70s but looked no older than 50. Wow. I want to know about this guy. Yeah, that guy. That's a fun person to get a class from. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's the most fun. Yeah. You know? Yeah, where are these guys at now? Yeah. Yeah.

That's what I'm talking about. Tell us more, John. Let's get that professor on. Yeah. He's 90, walks in. He looks younger than Brian. Nicholas Butcher. Oh.

Nicole's Butcher. Our old pal. Old pal, Nicole's Butcher. Hello, folks. I'm surprised Dusty didn't know that South Carolina is home to the official UFO Welcome Center. I'm not 100% convinced Dusty didn't build this himself. Yeah, maybe why I didn't bring it up. Oh, yeah. I don't want people to know. Yeah, because he's not welcoming us, Nicholas. He's welcoming. Here it is. It doesn't look quite like, I mean, if I were an alien. It looks like Dusty would build it.

Yeah, that actually is my backyard. Yeah. I own that.

That 10 came from my trailer after a tornado. Would you have rather lived in that or the trailer that you grew up in? Well, I mean, I don't, you know, I mean, I got to see the inside of this. If this was at a trailer park, would it be like, well, they have money? Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, that would be pretty awesome in the trailer park I grew up in. I mean, we would have been hanging out in there for sure. And they would be like,

Yeah. I mean, that guy, whoever built it would be pretty cool in the trailer. Yeah. We would ask them not to graffiti it like that. There's a big sign out front that says, space people only, enter at your own risk. We would ask them to at least purchase some stencils. What if we're just not going in there and you go in and you're like, and it's like that scene in Star Wars where they're at the bar and all those different things. They're having drinks and you're like, oh, y'all are literally in here? Just hanging out. Yeah.

Yeah, dude. We said, because this guy built us. Because we've been here all the time. Yeah, this is where we always come. This is what we do. South Carolina, do a little drinking. GiggleMe2001, of all the silly things that have been said on this podcast, I think the consensus that y'all hold Tom Cruise in such high regard and maybe the greatest movie star of all time is the silliest. I mean, y'all are entitled to your opinions, but my goodness, the silliness.

So I don't get that. I don't think it's a crazy thing to think at all. In fact, it's actually borne out by a lot of evidence here. I mean, if we look up the highest grossing actors of all time, Tom Cruise is in the top 10. And he's not in any of the Avengers. Yeah, he's his own person. And the only people in front of him...

First of all, six of them are from the Avengers. Yeah. And then Zoe Saldana, which is an avatar. So those are outlier movies. Yes, yes. Tom Cruise's steady career of blockbuster. Yeah, so you'd argue he's number one because, yeah, just with that, you could argue he's number one just because it's alone. I mean, Avengers, like, yeah, that's like,

You're like, I mean, you know, everybody's in this movie. No one's going because Scarlett Johansson's in it. They're going because it's about the Avengers. Right.

Chris Pratt will be up there because he does a bunch of stuff, but he does the event, and he'll probably end up being the biggest of all time. Yeah, with Jurassic Park and everything, too. I'm surprised he's only there. I just saw the movie Legend last night with Tom Cruise. I don't know if you ever saw that. Old movie, made in 85, one of his first movies. It's a whole fantasy. It's so dark and so weird. Ridley Scott, it is so wild. Was it good? It's great.

What if I'm dared to say that I think Tom Cruise is the most original. Yeah. Out of like, he's done everything. I've never even heard of this, but he's,

He's done a bunch of like, and he's kind of been great in all of them. Yeah, it's the girl from Ferris Bueller's Day Off here. Oh, wow. That's where it is. And then look at this demon guy, though. The whole movie was so dark. I mean, it was like, what is going? I prayed after it was done. I was like, I don't know. I've let spirits into the house. Yeah, I get that. I get that feeling.

yeah yeah this is i mean it's not a crazy thing to say tom cruise is one of the biggest blockbuster stars of all time i mean you can argue that he is he's above tom hanks right so tom hanks would be uh the other one uh vin diesel i mean he was in avengers but vin diesel actually sneakily with all his fast and furious but you're like they're all like uh uh vin diesel you could probably

Is he... He's Groot. Yeah. So it's like his whole thing is I am Groot. I mean, it's the most brilliant... It's the best gig on earth. And then...

Yeah, I would imagine. Yeah, I mean, Tom Cruise, I mean, he's just done so much stuff that's so different. And you're talking about a superstar, action film, like all that kind of stuff. And everything he does is so culturally important. I feel like he's been a huge cultural figure. There's no bad Tom Cruise movie, I don't think. No, no. I like Tom Cruise. If he's in a movie, it's good. Yeah.

Paul Collier. I had the same situation happen as Aaron. I won a contest to throw out the first pitch of the 2017 World Series. Wow. They had a second person who was also throwing out the pitch after me.

Her name, Rachel Robinson, Jackie Robinson's wife. Not a single person in the stadium clapped for me. They probably thought I was going up there to test the mound out for her. Here's the video. You can hear the crickets almost with me walking up. The team is MLB credit cards, extra basis points for this exciting opportunity. All right, Paul, it's your pitch. Yeah, I mean, that's – Wow. That's crazy. I mean, he's taking his time getting to the mound too. Yeah. Well, you can hear the ball hit the mitt.

Yeah, they played some music. And they sent a bat boy out to catch it. Henry Rowan Gardner. That's a good pitch. Thank you, Paul, and we hope you enjoy your time here at the World Series. He had a GoPro? He had a GoPro with him. That's very funny to have to follow Jackie Robinson's widow. Yeah. Yeah, why would they... Yeah, they threw that one in. I mean, that's...

Hmm. Yeah. That's well, good. You went out there to a pitch. Yeah. In a world series. Yeah. That's crazy. The contest is even for that. How was her pitch? Uh, it didn't say, uh, we didn't see it. All right. So this week we, we haven't got to anything. We've been talking for a while. Yeah. Uh,

So this week we're talking candy. We had a big candy. You know, people got upset. I think overly I got told by multiple people I met at the shows, your Milky Way thing is crazy. Oh, really? Yeah. Because I heard the exact opposite all weekend. Yeah, cool. Actually, a very nice lady gave me two big Milky Ways and said, here's one for you and give the other one to Nate so he can try it. And I ate both of them that night. Oh, wow.

Those candy bars. I was given Milky Way, too. Oh, that's cool. I don't know if I... I think I left it on the bus, but it's...

But we have candy here. Big bowl of candy here in the front. But these are not regular Milky Way. No one gave me any candy. So is this going to be fair? There are regular Milky Ways in this pack. There is? Yeah, there's one right there. No one gave me any candy. Let me try a regular. I got some fruit. You don't seem like a guy who would eat candy. I know that you do, but you seem like you would, I don't know. You just eat a sugar cube every now and then. I figure people would think you're going to just come take stuff off their plate.

I will eat the candy if you leave it behind. This is a regular Milky Way. I was getting one, so I'll try it. When they gave me this, they didn't. Let me try one, too. My calories, I'm on the calorie little kick. Can't be much. Those don't count. Can't be much. You can keep talking. Okay. I'm curious if, you know, I think the size of it might affect your ability to

get a lot of that taste i think it's a solid candy bar it is delicious i mean it's immediately can we agree it's better than the three musketeer three musketeers is 80 air it's like am i even eating anything now milky way's got some substance to it it's creamy i mean look at y'all savoring this flavor right i've been a lot of caramel in there not against it oh you're on board i'm on board yeah it would be it's better than i thought yeah dude and

I like Three Musketeers, though. Okay. Look, they all have a role. They all have a purpose in life, I think. The Milky Way's very good. If you're going for straight flavor, I just want to savor a candy bar. You know what? Twix is like a Milky Way with a little crunch to it. Yeah. But I can see Milky Way and Snickers are definitely... That should be the commercial. Yeah. It's like a Milky Way...

A little bit of crunch to it. A Milky Way is, yeah, and the Snickers are very, I could see it. I mean, you know, like Snickers got like a lot more. Let me try. So a Twix was called a Raider until the 1990s. Either of y'all remember a Raider candy bar? Never heard of it. Twix is a combination of Twin and Bix. It's Twin because they usually come in packs of two. And Bix is British slang for biscuits.

So it's almost like twin cookies. And that's where the Twix comes from. I'm a big fan of Twix. I don't know. I like the Milky Way. Yeah. I think it's tough to eat a Snickers. What about the Twix? I've had a Twix a bunch. I'm not trying to eat. I mean, I am on a calorie thing. And this is the problem. I think the issue with Snickers is Snickers is... It's too healthy for you? No.

No, I think it's not an issue. What's interesting is that Snickers has tried to carve out their niche within the candy bar world. Yeah. Think about the commercials. It's all about hunger. You know, are you hungry? Grab a Snickers. You're not yourself. So if you're looking for a little substance to a candy bar, if you're like, I want to actually be full after this. Yeah. Snickers is trying to cross over into food. Yeah. They're like, we're food now.

We're a bar that's going to give you a little energy. It's like a cliff bar. Eat a Snickers and then have a Milky Way for dessert. That's right. That's right. Now, if I think it just straight up, I just want to enjoy a little sugar, a little chocolate, a little caramel. I think you get more full from a Snickers. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. And sometimes you don't want to have that. I love a Three Musketeers, man. I'll tell you, with Milky Way, I'm blown away by it.

pretty pretty it was very good wasn't it it was very good it was almost like yeah i would do it like you're like you want to sneak you're just like ah it seems like a whole thing and then but i do want a little more than three musketeers and a milk away is like i'm a great in the middle i'm a great it's it's it's it's a mix of a lot of stuff did you do you know why it's called a three musketeers bar i'm guessing i have no idea i'm

I mean, I was thinking, you know, there's only two ingredients. So maybe wrapper, chocolate, nougat. And gray. Yeah, chocolate.

Just the gray. That is funny, that Three Mustard Tears. Is it nugget? Nougat. Nougat? I don't know what that is. It almost looks like, yeah, just like insulation. Yeah, Three Mustard Tears do look very funny. It's just a caulking gun. What's inside of it? A bunch of gray. Just gray stuff. Is it chocolate? Almost. Almost. It's almost chocolate.

They say may contain peanuts. How do you may contain peanuts? Because I think- Either contain them or you don't. A lot of these are made in big factories and they're like, even small particles of peanuts might be in the air floating around. I like how loose you can be about your ingredients. Yeah. You're like, listen, we don't know what's in there. There could be some peanuts. There could be some almonds. We don't know what's going on. There could be- They're just floating around out here. Animal parts. Yeah. You're allowed a certain percentage of that in a lot of these factories.

I heard a pretty disgusting thing about coffee not long ago. Well, go ahead. Well, they say that coffee could contain a certain amount of rat poop. Oh, yeah. And that, like, how good a coffee is, they have people that test it. They taste it, and they can tell you if it's got too much rat poop in there. Oh.

That's like a guy that says his job. What do you do? He goes, I'm in software. Yeah. And he goes, oh, yeah? What kind of software? And eventually gets down to, I know what rat poop tastes like. Yeah. He has to go, what's your specialty? I'm really good at, I know what rat poop tastes like. He's like, well, can you tell me? He's like, let me have a sip of that coffee. He just takes a little, he goes.

Yeah, that rat had some Taco Bell last night. You know what I mean? You're like, God, he has no emotion to any of this. He's just so used to it. I'll tell you, Three Musketeers, it's called that because it used to be chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla. But during World War II, vanilla and strawberry were scarce. So they ditched the vanilla and strawberry and focused on chocolate, but they kept the name.

So it used to come in three pieces back in the day, a little small box with three pieces. Like a little Neapolitan. Yeah, a little Neapolitan action. That's interesting. They just kept them. I mean, that seems like a new candy. Yeah. Yeah. Why not bring that back? I don't think it's so scary now. Yeah, they should try it. They should. They should. They need to do something to stand out. They might not know the war's over. In this variety pack. I don't know where they live. Yeah.

This is the classic variety pack of candy bars here. Snickers, Three Musketeers, Milky Way, Twix. I think the Three Musketeer, I mean, it needs to do something. This Milky Way Midnight, they were like, listen, we got to get rid of these somehow. I know. Let's start throwing them in the patch. I will not defend those. Those are a problem. Those are what's going to be left over in that bowl. I could see it is your statement.

For Milky Way. I mean, I would need to go out and like, I need Milky Way in my life before I say this. I mean, I just had one here. I enjoyed it. I'm on a, I mean, I barely have any calories. So, I mean, I could eat that, the bowl that's in it. I'd be like, that's pretty good. I'll be honest with you. So, but I have had Snickers recently. I've been kind of like a little over. Like, I don't mind them, but instead it was just like,

Oh, that's like a whole thing. Mm-hmm. And then... It's a meal. Like a Snickers king size, you can be full before it's over. You're like, oh, I'm actually, I'll rack this up. We have different lives. I wish I had the discipline. That's what he eats on the drive to his reservation. Yeah. He goes, all right, I'll eat one. One will get me out of the driveway, then the other side will get me to the restaurant.

yeah uh you're gonna see the dessert menu uh i brought my own and then you pull out you got five sticker bars and a milky way to top it off yeah you know um at easter time they would they always have this big candy they always really emphasize everything's big and we used to have these big hershey bars that we would get and we would put all our candy in the freezer

When I was a kid, my sisters were... They're 10 years older than me, but they were like teenagers. And my one sister had eaten all her candy, and my other sister had some still in the freezer. We were living in the trailer. This is a very trailer park story. And my...

Sister went for my other sister's candy bar and my sister started yelling at her. She was like, that's my candy bar. You already ate all yours. And my sister was like, here, take, she cussed at her, but I'm like, she goes, take your candy bar and threw it at her and hit her in the head and busted her head. She had to go to the hospital and get several stitches.

for being hit with a frozen candy bar you remember the candy bar Hershey's it was a big like a big oversized Hershey bar you know how it's breaking into those little pieces yeah so it's like frozen solid wow chunked it at her busted her head wow did y'all eat the candy I'm sure we did yeah yeah I mean I mean when we got back we probably like well it's it's still it's thought out now

Yeah, the blood's on the outside. Yeah. And it's your sister's blood, so it doesn't really matter. Yeah. It's your family's blood. Yeah, it's my blood, too. Yeah, yeah. So... That is... I mean, that is as trailer park as it gets. Yeah. My one sister had several stitches.

Sorry, everybody. There you go. I guess Aaron got bored. That's my bad. Aaron just watching. I'm a little loose with the space bar over here. I apologize. My one sister, she was riding four-wheelers with another guy, and they were just flying through this field at night and went through a barbed wire fence. Oh, my gosh. They got all cut up. I mean, he was in front. Yeah. Yeah.

So he was all right. I mean, he was bad off. She was okay, but she got cut up pretty bad. And she went running around a truck one time when she was a little kid and the tailgate was down and she went running around and hit her face on the tailgate, had several stitches. I mean. So she gets hit in the head with a candy bar. This is like nothing. Yeah. This is another day for her.

Yeah, and she was diabetic. She went to the hospital. She went into a coma one time. Yeah. A diabetic coma. I mean, she was in the hospital all the time. Yeah, y'all's doctor was like, every time you walked into the hospital, they're like, hey, hey. Yeah. I remember being a kid just playing with the rubber gloves all the time, always putting them on and blowing them up. Howie Mandel. Yeah, I was like, you know, that's like a treat for me. It was crazy, yeah. So do we know what the Snickers, where that name came from? Do you guys know? No. No.

I would think maybe... Snickering? Yeah, maybe. Or from some finger-licking good type thing. It's a bully candy? Oh, it's a bully candy. Because it's snickering? It bullies the rest of those brands. Snickers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's always making snickering. Is that a word? Sneaking to get it. Snickering is kind of like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I think. It was a comedy club called Snickers. Was there really? Really? Fort Wayne, Indiana. Oh, really? Called Snickers? Yeah.

Shut down. That's pretty good. Summit Comedy Club up there. Snickers with a Z at the end. But it's Fred and Ethel Mars, who you know from Mars Candy. They had a farm here in Tennessee named, coincidentally, the Milky Way Farm. So Mars owns all this. And they bred racehorses and...

And Ethel's favorite racehorse was a horse named Snickers. Wow. So the horse died two months before they released their new candy bar, and they named it Snickers in honor of Ethel's favorite racehorse. Does it say what they were going to name it prior to that? No. That's too bad. Chocolate bar. Something, you know.

Fire truck hose. Meal in a bar. Yeah, just something crazy. Now, in England. Why was the horse named Snickers? I think maybe they made that kind of, horses are kind of. Talk about it. They have an attitude. Yeah, you feel like you walk into a stall. You're like, what did y'all just say? I feel like y'all just been railing on me in here. Yeah, you look like they're like, quiet, quiet. He's around the corner. I knew it.

And maybe it's the kind of the neigh. They say a horse neighs, but when you hear it, that's not what it's doing. It's what, like, yeah. It's not going, neigh. Yeah, obviously. Yeah. Neighbear. Yeah. That's what it is. It's when the Snickers bar, it was actually called a marathon bar in the UK until mid-1990s. Wow. Because they were worried Snickers rhymed with knickers.

which is the slang term for women's underwear. Yeah. They're like, that's a little, let's call it a marathon. Yeah. Wow. So they, yeah.

That's the other name, I guess, for it. A marathon. Marathon bar. Yeah. But they call it a Snickers. Maybe that's the case. You want to run a marathon. You have a Snickers before. Snickers really went down the path of being like showing athletes eat it and stuff. It's really gone down the path where you're like, I think it's really good for you. Yeah. Yeah. You throw some peanuts in there. You've changed the game. Yeah.

Now, how about a Hershey's Kiss? We don't have a Hershey's Kiss here, but that's a very popular candy. I like Hershey's. Big fan. Now, do you know the little piece of paper on the tip of it that you pull to get the tinfoil off? It actually has a name. Do you know what that's called? Tinfoil. The, let's say... The little piece of paper. The ribbon. Oh, the little... The little piece of paper at the top. Yeah, the flag. Yeah, the little flag.

Yeah, I don't know. Is it called a plume? Yeah. I mean, you're asking like the stickers thing. You guys know how the name came? You really waited for his answer. I'd like to know if you got an idea. Look, I agree that you should ask because it's a conversation, but it's very funny for you to ask and then the answer is like it's the woman's horse. Yeah.

And like, you'd be like, oh, I think I did hear that one. Like, there's no way for me ever to. And you go, you know, the little thing that comes up. You're like, anybody know any couple more guesses? Plume. Saw it on Jeopardy last night. What is Plume?

You know, I don't open a Hershey Kiss that way. I don't use that. What do you do? It's very thin. Throw the whole thing in. Oh, is that how you- Like a sunflower seed, and then take it off in your mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or he eats the full. He's fine with it because it helps with my cavities. Yeah, it gets metal fillings. It really- And then do- So you're just supposed to pull it, and that's how it opens? I think, yeah. I think you can get it started with that. Oh, okay.

Yeah. I think so. Yeah. How do you do it? Just find the end of it? Yeah, I think you just kind of do it. I would love to know if there's a much easier way. I thought that was part of what it was for. You can get it going with that. It's a great...

It's a great presentation for candy. Yeah. Maybe the best. It looks elegant, doesn't it? It does. You can have Hershey Kisses. They could be out, and you're like, this is very nice. Yeah, like a fancy dinner party. And at Christmas time, there'll be multiple colors. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And you're like, wow. Yeah. Yeah, this is fancy. It's like, I told you we should have dressed up. You walk in. Yeah. Yeah. Have you guys ever had a Whatchamacallit candy bar? I don't think so. I always like the name. Yeah, I don't think I've had it either. Yeah.

Maybe I have had, but I have had it. That's what the whole point of your selling point is. Whatchamacallit is you don't know if you've had it. That's why it's called whatchamacallit. They don't know the name of it. You're like, whatchamacallit? Like that's the name. And then you're like, if you had one and everybody's like, maybe, I don't know. You don't know. Yeah. So it's all just like, it's like the who, the band, the who. Yeah. And then I think it's all the ingredients. It's everything is in there. Now,

Now, they've tried, whatchamacallit, stuck around. They've tried to do other names like this. 2009, Hershey's introduced, they had a Thingamajig candy bar, which I still think is a great name. That's a great name. And then 2021, last year, they unveiled the Who's He What's candy bar. I can see that feeling. They should have went Thingamajig. Thingamajig's nice. Yeah. Yeah.

Butterfinger 2009. 2009 was a big year for candy bars. Oh, wow. I think Butterfinger's the best. A frozen Butterfinger can't be beat. Well, they debuted. Do you ever have a Butterfinger Buzz? I don't think so. It was a limited edition candy bar with 80 milligrams of caffeine. Wow.

No, I don't want that. That's about the same as one of the small Red Bulls. Wow. So that's a fair amount of candy. I don't like when the candy bar goes off on a weird tangent. I'm not looking for energy here. Yeah. I'm just looking for taste. I should probably be... I would have to probably try Butterfinger again, but it is... I am not a fan. Frozen Butterfinger. At all. It's got to be frozen. I don't think I like any of it. But I mean...

Maybe I need to give Butterfinger another try. I love the name Butterfinger. It's a great name. Bart Simpson used to do it. Yeah, I like this package too.

I think it's good colors. Yes. I think it's fun. You know, Bart Simpson had his great, that, you know. Nobody better let her finger on my Butterfinger. Yeah. Yeah, that was a lot of fun. And, you know, a Butterfinger is always broken. Yeah. Every Butterfinger I've ever gotten, if it's the full length one, it's broken. Yeah, well, some of the best things in life

Are delicate. Yes. You know? I agree. Durability's not on the top list of things I need. You're not going to find a broken Milky Way around here. That's true. Yeah. That's true. They're a little more durable. But a Butterfinger intact. Well, Snick, yeah. Even room temperature. Like you can throw it at someone's head, like so. Yeah. Snickers you could probably rob a bank with. Yeah. Freeze it. Yeah. I mean, like it's...

Just throw a handful of frozen Snickers at them. I mean, you might go to, you spend the night in jail. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah, that would hurt. Frozen? Yeah, frozen Snickers. I mean, Snickers can get frozen where it's like you can't even eat it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, but all candy is best frozen, in my opinion. Yeah. Reese's Cups?

See, I used to love Reese's Cups, and I really changed. They've changed. Yeah. Oh. I think so. I think they've changed. I think you've changed, Dusty. That's what I think. I like to hear that. Because I used to love them. When I was a kid, I'd get every Easter and all this stuff. Yeah. What do you think changed? I think they've changed some ingredients. Okay. And it's just not as good? I think so. It's like the old Charlie Rolls. See, I think Reese's is doing the most right now.

I think they're doing a lot of good stuff. I'm impressed with their work. They've got the Take Five, which is maybe one of the better candy bars. I've never had one. Dude, it's so good. Wow. Take Five candy bar. I like a Ben & Jerry's Reese's Cup ice cream.

A take five. Reese's is taking some chances. Oh, they're going out there, man. They're doing it. Take five is it's got chocolate, it's peanut butter, caramel, peanuts, and a pretzel in the middle. Yeah. And let me tell you, that pretzel really adds something nice. A little salt, a little crunch to it. Yeah. It's a good time. Yeah. How are you getting all that stuff in there? I think you just engineering. It's got like a grocery store worth of stuff in it. Yeah.

You go make a take five. I'll be back in. It ain't no, you know, give me five minutes. You're going to take five hours. I got to go make a take five. It seems like they're doing too much. There's a lot in there. If you go to a gas station now, it's almost a third of the candy aisle is Reese's spinoffs. They're doing a lot. Reese's is, I mean, yeah.

I like a company that's trying stuff. They're taking shots. They're taking chances. We've got some controversial candies here. Candy cigarettes. Yeah, I remember those. I love those. I did too. Yeah. They were great in between my regular cigarettes. Yeah. You like to keep it going, you know. I'm pretending. Yeah. I go, my mom was like, I would, you know, you're 10, maybe don't do two packs a day. I said, well, give me a pack of candy cigarettes. Yeah.

I'll do one and one. But I remember those were the best. Yeah, they were awesome. Because it was just fun. North Dakota banned them for a while. They said it was encouraging kids to smoke real cigarettes. And 2007, they did the study. About 22% of adult smokers said they started with candy cigarettes as kids. Well, they started because their parents were doing it. Yeah, yeah. That's right.

Yeah, really dive into it. And then you're like, well, everybody had candy cigarettes. So even if you ask, you go, yeah, that – you're like, yeah, that is what started it. And you're like, well, I don't – Yeah. Yeah, I mean, candy cigarettes, it was like the same candy as the Fun Dip. Oh, yeah.

I love Fun Dip. Fun Dip was so great. Fun Dip's hard. You got to lick it and then get on it, but then I'll just drink. I could just eat that entire thing. Yeah. Then that was the same kind of stuff that was in the-

the straw yeah pixie straws yeah oh yeah pixie straws are great those are good sweet tarts like the big ones oh yeah i would get those a lot on like on the road i would get them i mean a ton i would go grab some big ones you know what i think is underrated is a spree oh sprees are good i love a spree chewy sprees chewy sprees are good chewy sprees are good

What's the ones that are hard? These are the original sprinkles. The original sprinkles are hard, yeah. I've always been a chocolate guy, though, more than a candy like this. I'm a candy like that, but I like chocolate. I like to dip my toes in both, to be honest with you. I can go. I do like the gummy. I've been doing, like I said, a Sour Patch Kids, but then Haribo.

Haribo. Is it Haribo? I said Haribo, and people trashed me. They said that was wrong. Do we know? Do y'all know how to say that? Haribo. Haribo or Haribo. I never knew there was an I in there. But, I mean, those gummy bears are unbelievable. Someone gave me those this weekend. Hey, look, people give me this candy, and I know I'm trying to lose weight.

But I ain't afraid of a serving size on the back of it, so don't be scared. I mean, I'll do it. I tried it in a joke this weekend. I tried to say that where I was like, you can just call me serving size because it's like now I have to look at the serving size. But you can eat Sour Patch Kids where it's like you can eat like 13 of them and it's like 110 calories. So it's like these gummy bears, you can usually eat –

maybe just 13 or maybe it's even more. It's like 20 or something where you're like, all right. And I just eat them all in serving size. And then you're like, it's my hundred calories, but I really had a taste for it. And then you're like, so I'm not giving anything up. I'm just having to,

Do less. Do less. What about the Snickers ice cream bar? That's cool. You ever had that? That's a good one. This is another candy I used to get into as a kid. Whoppers, get the full milk, the cardboard milk jug of it. I'm not a big, I don't like the milk duds. Milk duds.

I like milk jugs. I could try them. I need to try all this stuff again. They all feel like old. Whoppers feels like an old person candy to me. You feel like you play Whoppers and you eat some Whoppers and you play Skipbo. Yeah. That's what it feels like. Yeah. I had that milk jug though. It felt very, I don't know, it felt good. Mm-hmm. You want a whole thing at

And then every once in a while, there'd be like a chocolate in there with no stuff inside. It'd be like a bad one. Yeah. Stump on a bad one once in a while. And it wasn't good? It wasn't good. I mean, it was just chocolate, so it's probably all right, but you're expecting that crunch. Yeah. Really disappointing. What's inside a Whopper? It's almost like a Three Musketeer, but it's hard. Oh. It's like old, round Three Musketeers. Yeah.

That's what they end up playing. Yeah. Yeah. Now, what about another controversial candy, Big League Chew? I love Big League Chew. I still like Big League Chew. I like Big League Chew. Big fan.

Big League Chew, this is what they – you get all the – it was designed, obviously, to give all the sensory cues of chewing tobacco. And they just replaced the nicotine with sugar. I think they probably did a little more than that. Yeah, that wasn't tobacco, I don't think. I don't think you were chewing on tobacco. Well, conceptually, that's what they did. It wasn't – they didn't take tobacco from –

But I think it's like – Yeah, that stuff though is like – I bet it keeps kids off of it. Like because you're just like – You're just like, well, I want to look – I mean it's – I eat Big League Chew. I could eat it all the time. I love it. My dad chewed tobacco and that's why I liked Big League Chew. Yeah. I didn't like do Big League Chew and then go, oh, man, this –

Next, chewing tobacco. People don't really do chewing tobacco anymore, like old chaw like that. I don't see it around. Probably got to get out of the city a little bit. Yeah. That's what my dad did for years, chewing tobacco. Levi Garrett, that was the brand. Harabo. Harabo. Harabo. Can you say it? Can you play it? Harabo. Harabo. Harabo. We're about to play it here.

Haribo. Haribo. Haribo. Okay. I think I saw it was right. Haribo. Kind of. Might have been right, yeah. Haribo. Haribo. I think Haribo would be better. Haribo. Haribo. That's all right, though. Yeah. Kit Kat. Yeah. Slept on.

I'll eat it, but I'm not a... Yeah, I like Kit Kat. I like the commercial, break me off a piece of that Kit Kat. I'm into that. The fact that it's two factories and they're making it, that's fun. Give me a break. That's Twix. Give me a break. Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat. Kit Kat's all together. Yeah, there's researchers determined that the Kit Kat jingle is one of the most common earworms. It sticks with people more than just about anything. It's got to be up there, most famous jingle.

I think it's top three. Mount Rushmore of jingles. Yeah. How do you, yeah, I don't know how you make jingles like that. Like, how do you make something that's like that, you know, that's like, it doesn't get out of your head. I know. That's pretty crazy. Yeah. I'm loving it. Yeah. What is that? McDonald's? It's McDonald's. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, imagine having had written that.

And then didn't get credit for it. Do they? Probably. And then somebody's like, I wrote the McDonald's jingle. It was as Pusha T wrote the McDonald's jingle. What? Pusha T, the rapper. Really? Yeah, he wrote the ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Oh, two decades later, he dropped a diss track revealing that ba-da-ba-ba-ba. He's still not loving it. Wow. He teamed up with Arby's. Yeah. Yeah. Says he didn't get paid enough for it.

I mean, it's a weird... It is kind of like... It's a weird... Timberlake is claiming he was involved in it, too. So they got some big names. Pharrell was involved. Let's get some hit makers in a room. Let's come up with a slogan. And they came out with ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And it... I remember when they came out with that, and I thought, this is lame. And now...

I'm pretty into it. Yeah. Well, you don't forget it. No. It's an earworm. It's like Seinfeld. I mean, Seinfeld, that beep, beep. Oh, yeah. Like, that stuff was, like, specifically, you just remember it. Like, you know. Mm-hmm. Yeah. What else we got here? We got some good stuff. Brian sent me a lot of stuff. Did he? He did. All right. Urban Legends. So let's end on, this is a good one to end on, maybe. Some Urban Legends gum.

is digestible. Won't stay in your body forever. Do you remember hearing that when you were growing up? I do remember that. It'll stay in your stomach. I thought it was seven years. Seven years, yeah. Yeah. I remember a comic had a joke. I don't know who it was. It was way back before I knew any comics names, but he said, I'm about to lose a bunch of weight. I swallowed a bunch of gum seven years ago. Oh, yeah. That's funny. Yeah. That's a good bit. Yeah.

For me, I remember watermelon seeds. If you swallow a watermelon seed, it'll grow in your stomach. And I wish it was that easy to grow. I'm struggling to grow watermelon. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and it is not that easy. Yeah, I chewed gum off a floor once. Like it wasn't yours? Yeah, because I was five. I remember it. And the older kids had gum, and I thought they were so cool. And I was like, well, I want some gum. And I found gum.

Some gum that was literally put out like on the floor. And then I just put it on my mouth and it had rocks in it. That's almost as bad as eating the fries in the kitchen. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I was, I mean, you were five, so I was five. Yeah. Yeah. And Aaron still does it. Yeah. I'm still into it. Yeah. Yeah. My, my stepbrother told us why are they wet?

He goes, they have a meeting one day. Our food's not selling. I'll tell you what the problem is right now. I'll tell you right now. Food's soggy. That's the problem. Why are your fries soggy and no salt? Hello? Maybe get to the point here. Maybe season a little bit. My stepbrother once told me and my younger stepbrother, he said he got real serious with us. We were eating watermelon and he told us he knew a guy.

who had a little vine growing out of his ear he got very serious with us yeah we i mean we were like oh no yeah it's happening eating seeds he's like you're not eating those seeds are you yeah that can happen that can happen like if you put a lima bean or something it can grow can grow out of your nose is uh i've seen it dude is it uh wish i'm not a big watermelon fan but

You, you're supposed to eat the seeds that you spit them out. I'm told that the seeds are very, uh, vitamin rich and that if you, and they're very good for you. Yeah. Who told you that? Uh, the internet. Yeah. I'm told. But they say it has like zinc and some other vitamins that you don't normally get. Yeah. I eat them all the time. Oh, you eat a lot of water. I love them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Jarver. When was the last time you ate watermelon? Well, they're not, I don't know, they're just coming into season. But, I don't know, a couple weeks ago I had some. Oh, really? Actually, probably Friday I had a couple pieces. You put anything on them? Salt? Sugar? Sometimes I'll do salt, but I mainly just eat it straight out. Yeah. I like to, I just eat it right with the seeds and just crunch it. You know who eats a bunch of watermelon? I believe it's J. Leno. Yeah. If, when he would do, he does his shows on Sunday, or he did Comedy Magic Club.

and I think it's watermelon. And you go back there and see him before, and he would just have watermelon and just eats it. And I believe that's true. Maybe it was something else. I try not to be so public about my eating of it. I don't mind telling people, but I try not to bring a whole bunch of it out and just eat in front of it because I get into it. Yeah. You like to be alone. Yeah. I'll cut it into slices and just eat it right off the thing. Yeah, it's a mess. That's your food that you kind of like. If you don't mind, I like to...

Fun mood duck over here. Yeah.

Yeah, I'll just spend some time alone with the warm-up. Like what food do you have where you are like, I'd prefer to eat this alone? I have a lot of food like that. Yeah, yeah. Wings. Yeah. If I'm in public, I get boneless wings because I can eat it with a fork and it's very civilized. If I have bone-in wings, I need to be alone. I don't want my wife in the room. I'm going to go crazy on these. Yeah, you want to go. I like to eat steak alone because I'll really pick it up and eat right off the – Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I eat off the bone. You gotta shake your head and break it. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I try to think like what, you know, like if I, if no one's home and I go to McDonald's,

and like really do what I want, like then that's, I enjoy. Oh, totally. Yeah, you can be alone, put ketchup, you know, mine was always like a ketchup thing. Like I don't want to be, you know, I said that out loud, but it's like I use enough ketchup, people have to say something. And so you're like, I'd like to be left alone. But I bet everybody does have their food that you're like,

I know you have a lot of it, but what would be your favorite food that you would want that you're like, I just want to be alone. I'd rather be alone. Popcorn for me. It's tough to eat popcorn delicately and-

civilized. If I'm alone, I mean, handfuls, fists, I'm getting in, there's grease everywhere. I get into it. If I'm alone, what I like to do is I don't like to put my hand in the microwave bag. Yeah. Cause then I gets all over my hand. I just kind of lay back,

and just dump some on the stuff, make a little pocket. So you have a shirt. If I have an old shirt or a hoodie or something, you make a little bit of a bowl on the hoodie, and then you just dump it there. Well, why don't you just pour it in a bowl?

I mean, you could do that. That's why he likes to do it alone. I don't have a lot of bowls big enough to where I... I should invest in a popcorn bowl, a salad bowl or something. Yeah, we might have one. That's a great bowl right there. That's a good bowl. That's pretty weird to eat popcorn in. Yeah, it'd probably get real greasy. Yeah. The inside would be real... But I mean, like, what food... Like, I'm trying to think of, like, a meal. Like, so, like...

But if I want to go to McDonald's heavy, I don't like, like you said, I don't want Laura in the room. I'd prefer to, if I'm home alone, I'm going to go to McDonald's. And like what I was doing before is like I would get, if like if Laura and them were gone, I could like, I mean, I was home by myself. It's like I can go get Krispy Kreme donuts.

And he is whenever I wanted those in the morning. And then I'll go to McDonald's for lunch. And then I might probably either do McDonald's again or whatever.

You know, or maybe I might mix Taco Bell, but like, you know, but like McDonald's, I would kind of like, I just want to be like kind of like, you know, because I can eat. I'm going to get my side sandwich. I'm going to get, I'm going through the whole thing. If I get it, I might mix it up, go get a Whopper Junior and I go get a real Whopper and then maybe get a Big Mac too.

And then get the fry. Like, you know, you go kind of mix and match. One of my favorite King of Queens episodes is his wife finds out that every day after work he gets a secret Whopper on the way home. Yeah. Just without telling her. And then he eats dinner right after that. Pizza for me is, I don't want people, if I'm eating it alone and nobody sees how much I've had, I'll eat a whole pizza.

I'll eat a whole large pizza. Yeah. I've done that. Yeah. I don't know if I'm answering your question, but yeah, I feel like you're going like it's, I'm just talking about like, is there, yeah, it's like an embarrassing food. I guess this is all embarrassing to me. Yeah, no, it is, but you could eat it. What about ribs? Yeah. Actually, you're answering the, actually, uh, you're answering the question. I'm just making you say these embarrassing things. I got more. Keep asking me. I'll keep giving you answers. All right. All right. Uh,

Meatloaf. I like to dive in. I do love meatloaf. Ice cream cones are tough because you got, like if you have a beard. All over the mustache. It's all over. Yeah, I like to eat a. When I get Sonic Blast and I would get the large one, the big, big one, that one was, that's tough. Because, I mean, it's a bucket.

You know, I did this weekend in Salt Lake City with me and Brian. We went to the mall. We went to like the Mormon temple area. There's a huge mall right across from there. And Brian wanted to get something to eat, and I had already eaten. So I just went to McDonald's and got a large Diet Coke.

And that's tough because you look like you just ate McDonald's. Yeah, yeah. And I'm walking around holding a McDonald's cup, and I want to tell everybody, I didn't eat. Yeah. Oh, I just got a drink. Yeah, yeah. But Brian's on the other side of that carrying your Diet Coke. That's how big it is. Did you get the large one? Yeah, I got a large. It's all a dollar. I might as well get a large Diet Coke, walk around drinking that. I always get the medium because I think I'm too embarrassed to get the large. Now, but if I'm –

If I go into the drive-thru, if I'm, you know, I feel like I'm in my own world, then yeah. You'll go for the large. At the movies, they'll go, oh, if you upgrade to the large, which is like a half gallon, they'll go, if you upgrade to the large, you get free refills.

I'm like, who wants a refill after a half gallon of Coke? Yeah. Who needs this? You take one on the way out. Yeah, yeah. A little road drink. I never can take it with me out of the movie theater. The cups are too big. Everything I've eaten in the movie theater, I feel disgusted by. I got to throw it all away. Yeah. The cups are too big. Yeah. That's why I don't like the big cups. It's not that I don't like that much soda. I'd rather go back and get a refill of a regular-sized cup than I would-

then hold this big kind of cup. It's just an awkward cup. You know, speaking of movie theater food, nachos would be another one. It's presented and it's sold as this kind of communal snack. Yeah. But you want to eat it by yourself. Yeah. You want people not judging. It's tough to fork out nachos from other people. Yeah. If someone's like, get some nachos for the table. It's like, I got to be with some good friends. Yeah.

Or I'm going to just like eat two. Right. But to attack it the way you want to attack it. Oh. Yeah, I hate to share food like that. Like I like to go, let's just like when it comes, let's cut it in half. I'll take mine because I eat fast. Yeah. So I'm like, I'm eating and I'm like, well, I'm already, I've eaten what my portion, but there's still more there and you're not going fast enough. You know that great nachos, Buffalo Wild Wings. They do have good nachos. They have great nachos.

And like, they do it right. Nachos are something, that's something too where you're like, I wish I could go when they make them. Can I go talk to them, the cooks, the chef? And like, you want to be, like when you work at a restaurant, you could be like, here's how I really want them. You're like, I want, you know, I want it layered here. I want it multiple layered. Uh-huh.

I like black holes all over. I think we talked about this when it happened, Nate, but I still think about that day when we were on the road with you doing the drive-in shows and you got nachos in a to-go container. Do you remember this? Yeah. This kind of changed my life in a way. Oh, thank you. This is not about my comedy. He opens up the to-go box and there's all, it's the chips and the cheese and the meat and then there's all this other stuff on top. And Nate's like, I don't even care about this. And then Travis and you

closed it, flipped it over, opened it upside down, and then you were just at what you wanted. Yeah. I think about that a lot. Yeah. You really turn the tables on them, dude. Stuff sticks. Yeah. Stuff sticks to you. I never would have thought to do that. I would have just complained about it.

and and come at it different angles another yeah nashville restaurant calypso best nachos oh yeah give that a go give that a go you don't even need to flip it upside down it is all the best oh really it's what you want it's what you want oh i like that yeah yeah is that it or is there anything there's some other stuff too we can keep going as long as you want find one to end on okay oreos do you have a way to eat oreo

Or do you just dive in? I do it. I just like dumping them in milk. I've never put them in milk. I've never been a milk guy. I've got weak bones because of it, but I don't like it. I'm a straight up Oreo eater. I don't, you know what? I'm not that into Oreos anymore, but I like a cookies and cream ice cream.

Oh, yeah. With Oreos. With Oreos. Milkshake. Chick-fil-A, I think, has a good cookies and cream milkshake. I'm all about it. Cookies and cream ice cream. I had cookies and cream Halo Top last night.

Cookies and cream what? Halo Top. It's like 300 and some calories. It's a low-calorie ice cream. It's pretty good, though. Okay. Yeah, it's pretty good. I've been living off of it. I eat it every night. You really? Yeah. I save enough calories for that. Wow. So you're going to be able to after eating these candy bars here? No, I won't eat any more. I got a sandwich. Not even a Milky Way, dude. The best one. I had it. No. You know, what's been good about, like,

Losing weight is like you just... Once you realize calories, you're like, how much calories in stuff, dude? Like, it's insane. It's just so much. And then so you end up being like, I don't want to waste them. You know, I'm trying to look...

I'm trying to actually lose weight for a special for once. Every special I've shot has been like, I tried. Every special you have a joke about, I feel like. Well, you can casually eat stuff too. Like you can casually eat so many calories and not even think about what you've done. Yeah. I mean, I could eat that entire thing. I could eat those Sour Patch Kids. I mean, I could eat everything. I love it. Well, this is what they tell me. This is the advice I get. It's like, yeah, don't eat out of the box.

Because then you're not thinking about how much, like you need to take it out of the box and actually look at how much you're eating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they say don't eat in front of the TV because then you're not thinking about the food. Who tells you that? This is just like stuff I picked up along the way. You're a big man group when y'all are in a walk-in cooler. Y'all stand in a walk-in cooler and hang out. You know what they're saying now is don't eat in front of the TV. You know what I did the other day? I pull my food out and I keep it in my hand and look at it.

And then I know I go, I put the bag away. I go, Ooh, I'll just take his jacket. He's getting hot in the, in the walk-in cooler. He's going, God, can I keep going? Keep going. He takes his jacket off. He gets, he gets, I feel like it's just getting hot in here. All right. That's good. All right, everybody. Thank you. As always, we love you.

Bates will be back, healthy, ready to go. Strong as a bull. Strong as a bull. So make sure you check everybody. Yeah, I don't know where everybody's at. I'm actually off. I'm nowhere.

This coming up for July 4th week. I have been to Oregon and Jacksonville, Oregon in July. It's like 15, July 15th, 17th. Uh, I believe they're amphitheaters. They're outside. I just did one in Paso Robles and the, it was such a good show. The amphitheaters are so fun. It's kind of your outside. So Oregon, I'll be out there. Uh, uh,

in Bend, Oregon and Jacksonville, Oregon, July 15th, 17th. And then Hawaii. I'm coming to Hawaii. Maui. Awesome. Honolulu.

uh, doing shows out there. Uh, first time I've been out there once for a festival, but it's first time I'm going out to do shows alone, uh, or as you know, headlining them. So, uh, I'll be out there. So just go check my website, all that stuff. I can't wait to see you. That's exciting, man. I'm in Indianapolis next weekend, the Hawaii of the Midwest at the helium comedy club. And then I got some Florida dates. People ask about Florida. I'm in Dania beach, uh,

I'm in Tampa and then Phoenix, Arizona. So come see me. I'm starting to headline some of these clubs. It's fun. Yeah. All right. Nothing this weekend for me. But then after that, it really ramps up. I'm going to Lexington, Kentucky. Comedy Off-Broadway, second week of July. Then Odell Williamson Theater in Bolivia, North Carolina. Oh, wow. Yeah. And outside of Wilmington. And then Toledo, Ohio. So it's hot shows coming. Hot shows. Hot shows.

Yeah, that's awesome. We'll go check everybody out. Check the website. Check Bates' website out too. And yeah, we will see you next week. Thank you. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.