#109 Time
01:55:01 Share

Need new glasses or want a fresh new style? Warby Parker has you covered. Glasses start at just $95, including anti-reflective, scratch-resistant prescription lenses that block 100% of UV rays.

Every frame is designed in-house with a huge selection of styles for every face shape. And with Warby Parker's free home try-on program, you can order five pairs to try at home for free. Shipping is free both ways too. Go to warbyparker.com slash covered to try five pairs of frames at home for free. warbyparker.com slash covered. Hello folks, welcome to the Nate Land podcast.

All right, Factor makes lunch and dinner on busy days a total breeze. Instead of spending those precious hours after you get home hustling around the store and the kitchen, they'll deliver ready-made meals right to your door, eliminating all that meal planning, prep, and cleanup time.

Head to go.factor75.com slash nate130 and use code nate130 to get $130 off across six boxes. That's code nate130 at go.factor75.com slash nate130 for $130 off. Wow.

Wow. That, leading up to that, feels like you're in class and you're like, all right, my line's coming. I got to read it 50 times just so I can nail it and not get made fun of by the class. Welcome to the ad reading. Hello, folks, and hey, bear. I like hey, bear now. I got hey, bear all weekend for people. It's fun. Hey, bear is great. It's like...

It is the good room. I think someone said it in the comments. It's the best response. The let's go, folks. Like, hey, if you say hello, folks, you go, hey, bear. Because it's such an opposite that it does. So I agree. I guess we take a vote. The vote was hey, bear. We didn't take a vote. I've been getting some hey, bear, too. And I think if a lady says hey, bear to me, I'm like, my wife is going to be upset about this. Like, people come up, they go, hey, bear. And I'm like, I don't know if that's okay. Yeah.

It sounds like you're already in another relationship so much that y'all have dick names for each other. Right, right. She's like, it can't even be like, oh, did y'all just meet? You're like, we've been dating for five to six years and she calls me bear and I go, hey bear.

Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay. And look who's back. Old Nate. If you watch us on YouTube, I got a, is it a puka necklace, right? Wow. Puka shell. Back in the game. Went to Hawaii, come back, and I saw this guy. I was like, wow, let's bring him back. Are those pretty popular in Hawaii? Did you see those out and about? No, no.

It was maybe 90s when they're in Hawaii. That's some back stock from a while. Yeah. They're going to find that. Yeah. They asked. I bought it off a guy.

We had those jeans with the designs on the back pockets. Yeah. And I go, hey, man. Bedazzled jeans. I figured you wouldn't sell your jeans. So what about that necklace? He's like, I could get away with it. I'd do it with one. My wife thinks two is too much. And I go, all right, all right. His belt was looped down. He's like, I had to keep the shark tooth, though. Yeah. I go, yeah, dude, for sure. Obviously, I'm not going to take a shark tooth. Right.

I feel like we always called it a conch shell necklace. You know, you had those square ones. Yeah. It's still, you know, a necklace, but it was square little shells in there. Yeah. Yeah. I had a lot. I got a blue shirt, no undershirt.

conch necklace under there. I had a good tan. Like an unbuttoned blue shirt. Unbuttoned, bit down. Bit down. That way you could see the necklace. Like Aaron's shirt. Yes. Aaron's wearing like he's a dad that's gone, you know, that's serious and deficient. Yeah, yeah. That's the Columbia PFG. Is it PFG? It's a PFG shirt. I was in Florida all weekend. Everybody's wearing these. They are. And I liked the vibe of it. I ran out of clothes. I walked 45 minutes to a Bass Pro Shop.

I said, it's time to change my life. Yeah. Got some fishing shirts. They're pretty nice, right? They feel amazing. Yeah. Sweat doesn't show. I got it. They're like cargo shorts, but a shirt. Yeah. These pockets are, I can put whatever I want in. When you go back to the buffet, you don't want people to see how much you're working. Yeah.

When I was a kid and people would show up with those to fish, we were like, they're from out of town. It's got a back area that's got a vent. Yeah, it's got the flap. It's got a vent because you get so hot that you just need vents to come in. You're like, yeah. I'm using all these features too, dude. Does that flap go right to the skin? Can you reach up under there and touch your back?

There's almost like the lining to a bathing suit, that kind of mesh netting. That's on the inside. Is that on the pockets too? On the inside of the shirt. Haven't looked. No, on inside the shirt. No. Inside the shirt is just, it has that lining. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. See, I actually bought one of those to go hiking in, but I didn't like that lining on my nipples because I thought it would rub them. Chafe them, yeah. Chafe them. Like a marathon runner. Yeah. Yeah.

And so that story thing that kept me from that shirt. I picture guys wearing those shirts with a lot of chafe nipples.

Those guys are just have chafed bodies. I think their nipples hang lower than where those pockets are. So I don't think they ever run into that problem. He goes, he goes, did you chafe your nipples? He goes, no, he rubs way down. He goes, no, it feels good. Actually. He's like, oh, that's cool, man. Put them in the pocket. You set them up, stick them in the mesh. Uh,

We had, yeah, Hawaii was the best. We ended up, so we did the shows, we were off last week and we did the best stuff. We, and then I got this, I went to, we did, I'm wearing a hat, a Trilogy hat. They do, we did the, you go on the sailboat kind of thing and then go snorkeling. And this company, Trilogy, been around for, it'll be 50 years this year. It's family owned.

Hawaii's big family-owned stuff. I liked it. That's what made me think. I like Hawaii. They're big in their culture. I think it's a gigantic thing for them.

even, yeah, yeah. Big in the culture. And then it's all family. It's all like, I like that. I was like, I was on board with Hawaii. You know, I asked Harper how she liked it. And she said, I got out just in time. She said there was a forest fire coming our way. She got worried about the forest. Just got out. There was, they get, so they get a lot of fires, I guess, you know, just like California. And, uh, cause it was dry and, uh,

So the day we were leaving, their airport's like open air. And it was pretty crazy. I mean, you smelt...

the fire and like ash would blow in your eye and stuff. So she got super worried about that. Do you get a, a claustrophobic feel on Hawaii or is the Island? Yeah. Uh, is it big enough to where you're like, I'm not, I don't really feel like I'm on an Island. It's big. I mean, you're out there, I guess if I, I've only seen it on a globe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, he knows if that's, yeah, well that's true. Yeah. Might be the middle of Iowa. Uh, that's true. But,

it's you, it's, it's very big now. Now, and that's like the big Island. And,

Maui is so big that it's, I don't think you, you just don't think about it. You're doing so much stuff. I could, I bet I could talk myself into it. Right. I thought I was going to have it on the boat. Like when I go on the boat, sometimes I can get like the claustrophobia because you're just not, you can't see land or something. Yeah. You can always see a mountain. You can always, you know. Now, what do you mean by open air airport?

There's just no... When you go check in, check your bags, it's just like you walk under a thing and there's no door. Because it's Hawaii. It's like a...

Like, you know, curbside check-in? It's like that, but the roof goes way farther over. Okay. Does it not rain a lot in Hawaii? I don't expect you to know everything about Hawaii. Did it rain on you? No, no. But they had a big rain the week before we got there.

And so, but it was, yeah, Hawaii, I'm on board. I just think of Jack Johnson when I think of Hawaii now, and I don't know why, but I just, I feel like there's a lot of music. Abigail, my sister's a big fan of him. Uh,

I followed him just cause of that, but I've never listened to him, but she likes him. Uh, there's a lot of, yeah, we had 17 of us and we were all a big family. A lot of dead gummit, dead gum idiots. Rolling 17 deep these days, man. You're like Allen Iverson. Uh, well, it's my whole family. I know. Yeah. It's yeah. Well, I was like, I knew nine of them. Uh,

The other ones I didn't really know. I kept forgetting their name. But nine of them I knew somewhat, I would say somewhat well. No, we decided to do a big, you know, never done something like that. It's a big place to take your family. They're all family. It's all about family. And so, yeah, 17, there's a lot of organizing. A lot of, we got to go. Everett, where are you? Well, who's...

Where's your dad at? Who knows where my dad is? My dad's already there. He left early. I mean, there's a ton of that. You don't know where people are. You never know. When you've got that many, you just don't know where anybody's at. No one's ready to go at the time. But everybody did a very good job. Did everyone get back? Everybody made it back. Abigail kind of helped. Abigail steered the ship on this. She did a very good job. But everybody did good.

My dad's been married four times and he took his first three wives to Hawaii and they got divorced and he will not take his fourth wife to Hawaii. Yeah. He's refused to do it. Yeah. He thinks that's the curse for him personally. Yeah. He thinks the opposite of Hawaii being like for families. I beg to differ. They ruin families. Yeah. That's where he's at with it.

Yeah. I've got a picture of him and my mom in Hawaii and he's standing with a woman and she's standing with a man. And I'm thinking, well, that could be the problem. Yeah. They weren't together. They were together, but each of them had a different, like a Hawaiian person of their own. Oh yeah. So I don't know what was going on there, but yeah, it could be your dad's issues, but it could be, but I'm open to being Hawaii. Yeah. Could be Hawaii. Who knows? Yeah. Uh, uh,

He go to the big island? That happens a lot over there. I think he went to the big island. Yeah. Not Maui. Yeah, that's typical. Just to blame it on... I saw seven sea turtles. Wow. Abigail saw zero. It was funny. All she wanted was to see a sea turtle. And...

for her to see zero and i couldn't get away from you're like i'm tired of saying i was like i don't yeah i and i would i started shooting them away underwater i said okay get on out here now a lot of snorkeling harper did good snorkeling and all the kids did good yeah it was good uh

So, yeah, it was fun. Where'd y'all go? You went to Florida. I was in Phoenix. We haven't seen each other in a few weeks. You're noticeably thinner, by the way. You know what's funny? No doubt. Noticeably. Yeah. Well, uh...

That's good to hear. I weighed myself. I had no scale out there. And I was like, well, I'll try to keep it going. And then you're on vacation, you know, and you're like, I'm just not. We had a, uh, we got a, a local guy there named Ben. It's from Iowa, actually. Uh, very awesome dude. And he kind of helped us like to like showing us some tourist stuff and like, uh,

uh made some food he was he was great to have around again and not not an official because we the only time we get people to help us again like my barber trainer i get people that are not officially just one thing they're kind of do a lot of things and they were like why don't you just come be with us and uh ben was great and he uh so but he was making food and like it was just like you know what dude i'm not

But I did do a lot. Me and Nick was with us. Me and Nick snorkeled. Nick can swim. Nick can swim. We swam very far one day snorkeling. Nick can go. Are you not a good swimmer? No, I'm a good swimmer. Oh, okay. But Nick's a great swimmer. Oh, yeah. He can swim better and he can walk faster. Yeah, I watched him. One day we go, and it was me, my brother's wife, and Nick.

And so the waves were, it was very, the waves were kind of big that day. And so the waves were coming in and they were coming, they were like breaking on the shore.

So we were like, that's where we wore flippers. And so Nick's trying to get his flippers on. So he gets one on and he's trying to put the other and he's on the shore with the wave coming in and he tries to get the other one on. And I mean, it just shoots out and takes Nick with it. So Nick's next to me and I just see Nick just disappears and just like whoop, whoop.

And then I look up and I mean, he's like 10 yards just out in the middle of the ocean. He just went gone. He just went with it and then just popped up and starts all over. And then I was like, well, just stay out there. And then we had to find his flipper and then we found it. Yeah, that's what you got to do. You got to go with it. People that get swept out and then panic. It's like, just start swimming. Yeah, he knew. I just went with it. I mean, I've never seen someone just go whoosh, just was gone.

because it was breaking right there. We surfed, too. Got up first time. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Got up first time. Did you just quit right there? That's what I got done. I got up three times. This one guy is from North Carolina. They just kind of are out there. They tell you when to paddle. It's actually not – I mean, for me, it wasn't – we all got up. Harper got up. Laura got up. It's like when you first go, it's not as hard as you imagine it's going to be. You just stand up on it.

crazy lower back pain when i stood up somebody i mean i did i did four times and i was like that's enough i'm getting that just getting an age where you're you're like i've never had any problems and you're like it was muscles i've never used tough to get into surfing at a certain age at 43 i mean dude my neck hurt from just like when you pat the paddling out is that's why these dudes are just ripped

Cause you're just on it and you're paddling. And so you got to keep your neck up and your chest up a little bit. And I mean, my neck to see where you're going. Yeah. My neck was, it's, you're just using every muscle that you've never used in your life. You just got right up. It's almost like no scales and you're able to get right up. It's almost like gravity is not working as well. Yeah. Why? You're at the bottom of the globe. That is right. So you're just like, it's not as good. It felt a little less gravity. I definitely believe less in gravity. Yeah. In Hawaii. Yeah. Yeah.

Something's going on over there. That's what I'm saying. Something's going on. I think you're at the bottom of the globe. Yeah, that's Antarctica at the bottom. It's Northern Hemisphere. Oh, well, that's a fake globe. Well, yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, he's trying to do you a favor by saying that there's a bottom. Yeah. Yeah. Meet him halfway here. Yeah. So it is technically the bottom of the globe. Yeah. Because the middle of the globe is the end. Yeah, what's a globe really anyway? Yeah, what is it anyway? Yeah.

Yeah, it was. But the surfing was very fun. The paddling back out there, that's for the birds. You need to be much younger to go. And Harper had someone helping her. I mean, Harper, because she couldn't paddle. I mean, the waves are coming in big, so.

And so, but it's funny, you just see Harper, she's got her elbows on the thing. And then a guy is patting her and like drags her with his feet, like just her board. So she was, you know, that was the way to go. If you could talk from those kids into the, hey, do you mind pulling me out? You know? I was in Florida this weekend. So I went out to, I was near the beach. I went out to the beach to film like a video, trying to get people to come out to the show. And I just got this drone.

So I was pumped about getting a drone shot on the beach, like coming in from the water and then swooping up on me. So I walked just to get some privacy. I walked like a mile down the beach just where I could be a little less embarrassing taking out a tripod and doing all this. Yeah. So I sit down in the sand and I set the drone up. It takes a while to set everything up. And I sit it in front of me.

And I launch it, and it goes up in the air, and the wind just catches it, and it just blows back into me. Slices up, sliced up my hand real good. Oh, my gosh. And then it fell down, sliced up my ankle really bad. I'm bleeding all over. It's so embarrassing. I'm out here with all this equipment trying to get this shot, and I'm bleeding, so I got to walk back. I'm like dripping blood all in the sand. Sharks just went around.

Oh, and sand's getting in them? Oh, yeah, it did not feel good. And then there's these families in the showers. I'm telling you, the wind on the beach is a nightmare. It's crazy, man. And I didn't even factor that in. I thought, oh, this thing will go. Did you record that?

no i wasn't recording yet what were the families doing though did they see you bleeding i was so far away nobody saw this happen but now i gotta walk up they ignore you on the you know the showers next to the beach where you rinse off the sand i gotta go rinse all this blood off so there's just families like what is wrong with this guy yeah you got that shirt on did you i thought that's his nips his nips are yeah the shirt here yeah that's why they bought it uh

That's brutal, too, because the walk is like there's no forgiveness. It's either salt water on that wound or sand. Yeah, exactly. There's no in-between. And I'm carrying all this stuff. You got a backpack just bleeding everywhere. Did you get some nice drone shots? You got a little bit. It got up there. Drone took some shots at you. Yeah, I know. I didn't even get more than a meter off the ground. Well, that's fun.

I was in Fort Mill, South Carolina last night, did a show at LifePoint Church for an adoption agency. Went great, met a lot of folks. Oh, nice. A lot of fun. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah. These shows are like... See if someone adopts you. That's what you should do as a joke. You should be like, I'm also up for... I'll take anybody if anybody wants to take me in. Did anyone get adopted at the show? No.

No, it's to raise money for families who are going through adoption. It's not like a live auction. We're auctioning off the kids for charity. All right, guys, let's start the bidding. Brian, go ahead. It's tough. Brian has to go after the last kid that doesn't get adopted. All right, everybody. Thank you, Sam. Brian Bates, everybody. Sam, move along.

Brian's like, I'll take them. You have to just take them. Brian's got seven kids. Just to get an opening applause, you got to go, you know what? I'll do it. Good for you. This comedian's great. The kid's like, I'm good. I'll take my chances. Yeah, I'll wait until next year. I'll try again. He goes, I don't know. He goes, what are we flying back? He goes, no, we're driving. Oh, gosh. He goes, yeah, we're driving through the night. He goes, I don't know. You know what?

I'll figure it out. One more year in adoption agency. Let's just do it over. Yeah. It's like when you re-enter the draft. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like Kumar Rocker. Yeah. I'm just going to wait another year. He goes, I bet I'll get drafted higher if I wait. I think I just hit the Wolford Brimley cocoon line. Yeah. Or I'm about to. We talked about that on a previous episode. I don't think you were here.

When Wilford Brimley did the movie Cocoon, which is about a bunch of elderly people, he was 50 years old in however many months. So now, for celebrities or anybody now, there's a Wilford Brimley Cocoon line when you hit it. Like, there's a website that shows you. Okay. Great movie, though, huh? I don't even know if I've seen the movie. I've never seen it. So good. Tom Cruise was the first one that did it. Because someone pointed out Tom Cruise, and this is 10 years ago, because Tom Cruise is 60 now. Yeah. When he hit...

50 years and however many months, they're like, he is now older than Wilford Brimley was in Cocoon, which is crazy because Tom Cruise looks amazing. And since then, it's become its own thing and now you just track... So... Oh, so I hit it three days ago because my birthday is November 3rd. And you're going off of...

Oh, November 6, 1971. So once you cross it. Ready for some diabetes commercials. I need to go watch this movie, I guess, because I don't even understand the point of it. Well, he played an old man. Yeah. And he looked like an old man, but he was only 50 years old. This is what he looks like in the movie? I don't know if that's from the movie or not. Because he looks, I mean, in fairness to you, Brian, he looks considerably older than you. Thank you. I thought you were about to say we look the same age. Yeah, but what about with the mustache like that?

How would Brian look with a mustache like that? I think you should give it a whirl. I tried during COVID. Have you ever had facial hair? I did that one. You had a little bit of them, but you didn't really commit to it. No, we learned pretty quickly. Now, you got to do it for a while. I challenge you to it. I don't know. I'd like to see it. Nate told me pretty quick, you need to get rid of that. I think we should work on the part on the top of your head first. And maybe do keeps on your face. Yeah. And just...

Yeah, he died, right? Yeah, just recently. Oh, God, that's crazy. If you're born today, then you'll cross this line at 2073. All right, there we go. That's fun. That's fun.

Were you somewhere dusty? Yeah, I went to Pittsburgh. I did the Pittsburgh Improv. It was great. I had a good time. Yeah. I wasn't on the beach, but there was a little water. Yeah, a little water down there. It was awesome, though. A lot of Nate Land people. It was really great. That's great. These shows are becoming like little Nate Land conventions for people. That's awesome. It's fun because you see them meeting each other, too. Yeah. Which is fun to see. Yeah. You watch them?

Everybody that goes to Aaron's show just know Aaron. Just look around. Aaron's going to be somewhere. His eyes are through a window. He's behind a car in the parking lot. Just seeing him. Hey, Bear. Just yell, Hey, Bear, and Aaron will come out in that shirt. Hey, Bear. Hey, Bear.

I was at Toledo two weeks ago, and people brought me candy and all kinds of Nate Land stuff. They brought me a shirt to bring to you, and I didn't bring it, but they gave me it. Way to go. I've been wearing it. Yeah, I'll never see that shirt. Trail mix. All right, let's start with some comments. Candy part two comments. Aaron Crandall. Aaron with an E. My big girl.

Are there boys with any? Not that I've seen. Yeah. I know a guy with an O instead of the I. That's how he spells his name. Wow. Aaron. My brother-in-law, my sister's husband, his name's Adrian.

And he's the third. Oh. And his grandfather... Is he from Middle Earth? That's what it sounds like. Yeah. His grandfather was supposed to be named Aaron. They misspelled it on the birth certificate to Adron, and then they just left it, and they've kept naming people Adron. Wow. Wow. That's cool. Yeah. It was like... I mean, that long ago was just like...

Probably, you know, like when you're on change, you're like, I'm worried even going to... You can't look it up online to go like, oh, this is how you change it. You're just like...

I don't. There might not even been an extra ink pen laying around back then. Yeah. It's like, who has that kind of ink? Or could they go by Wayne anyway, so it doesn't matter. Aaron Crandall. When I was in college in the early 2000s, I opened a Snickers bar, and it was a block of wood that had been carved to look like a Snickers. I called the number on the candy wrapper, and they acted like it was the most normal thing in the world. They told me it was a sample bar that they sent through the machine to test the wrappers.

Is that true?

I looked up an article that talked about blocks of wood that they put in some Snickers. I don't think it was supposed to have gotten out. Yeah. I think they did do it to test the wrapper for strength. I can't find any pictures of it. Yeah. Well, but what I would say is they should give you something more than the coupon for a free bar. Yeah. One bar. Yeah. The idea that – I'm with Aaron.

that with you being like don't act like this is normal yeah and so you know like let's let's act like it's a little it's crazy that it got out two thousands what are you 59 cents yeah yeah yeah

What? That's what a bar costs. You know what I mean? So you send me a free bar. Yeah. I'm bitten into wood. Maybe I lost a tooth here. 2000s wasn't that long. I bet they cost more than 59 cents. Not even a free bar. You think the thickest bar cost 59 cents in 2000? Maybe 69. I think over a dollar. I think it had to be over a dollar even in 2000. But even then, a dollar. Yeah.

Snicker bar price. 99 cents. A dollar. God, that's... I'm telling you, it's going up. It's going up. Man, when I was born, it was 42 cents. 59 is what I used to get. They gave them away when Bates was a kid. The Buffalo nickel. It was wood back then. 1930s. It was wood. It was five cents. Half chocolate, half wood. They go, eat it. Eat the front part. Don't eat the back half.

Five cents. Can you imagine? What does it cost to make it if they're selling it for five cents? It's just everything's free. Everything was free. I mean, you got to think. I would think it cost five cents to make it. What can the margins be if it's sold for five cents? It must be fractions of a penny. People were fine making. I feel like people were just fine making. You could be like, yeah, you own it. You're a millionaire, and that's enough. You didn't have to be globally competitive back in 1930. Right. Yeah. No one knew about them.

Christina Marshall. In the 2000s, there was a competition with M&Ms that if you got a bag with only green M&Ms, you won a million dollars. At the time, I was living overseas with my family. My aunt and uncle came to visit and assumed we couldn't get M&Ms, so they bought us some. Not knowing anything about the competition, my sister and mom made a bag and were baffled that all the M&Ms were green.

They casually mentioned it later, and my uncle started to majorly freak out. But we had thrown the bag out, and the trash was already burned. My sister ate a million dollars worth of candy. That's insane. I love that you dropped that burning the trash comment. Well, they were overseas. Oh, yeah.

that's what makes it even worse. Like, you know, we were living overseas. Like you're like, at least if you were living in America, like we're not burning or they were over so overseas. They're in a place that we had to burn our trash. Uh, that's crazy. Yeah. I hope that bag was good. Uh,

uh they couldn't move back to america they're still where you're at now they're like we're still overseas we we couldn't afford we could never afford to get back maybe they were missionaries and god said you're not coming home so yeah yeah you can't i would think that you would at least take a moment though even if you didn't know about the competition you're just like oh these are all green and you just you just go i mean it's like maybe you would take a picture and do something i mean if you're in the moment

And you haven't had M&M's forever. Yeah. That maybe if you just drink them, if you eat them out of the bag, I don't even know if you would...

Yeah, I think I could eat a bag of M&M's without even seeing what color they are. Yeah. I don't know if I take time to observe every M&M. I mean, it's a free-for-all. Best case, one gets caught on that shirt. You know. You're in your hoodie, and you just dump them. Oh, yeah. And what do they do? They go, you didn't notice them in the hoodie? You go, I just pulled the hoodie up. Not in my field of view. Not in there.

uh it's like a horse that has a blinder blinders on uh chris ledden cotton candy is still called fairy floss in australia also in australia we have fairy bread which is just buttered bread with sprinkles on it i bet that's good sounds good i bet that sounds good uh i like that that yeah fairy floss it's fun what is that oh that was pop tarts

Yeah, well, it's like sandwich bread. Yeah, but it's essentially, it looks like a Pop-Tart. It looks like a Pop-Tart. It's like cake. I love that. Like a cake, yeah. Like a buttered cake. Yeah, but that's good. Yeah, I'd be scared to go off. We have some fairy bread. It seems like you don't have a lot of. And you go, dead gummit, Chris Ludd.

The lead and fed. Sit you up. Lead and fed, but got me again. That seems like something my family would do. That's like when they're like in a trailer park going, what kind of dessert do we got? I don't know. Put some sprinkles on that bread. They, your family could do it. And they go, it's called fairy bread. It's in Australia. And everybody would be like, wow. Yeah.

like you could actually serve that here yeah and just be if you're trying to be cheap just serve fairy bread and say this is australia it's from australia australian delicacy i was jealous and then everybody's eating it trying to do an australian accent the whole time yeah and it's just butter and sprinkles yeah uh i'd be like no sprinkles please uh derrick visor visor i think we've had derrick

I have spells it the same way my brother spells it, D-R-E-K. I have never fact-checked anything from the pod, and I probably never will again. But upon Googling, I learned that the inventor of cotton candy actually sold it for 25 cents per box, not $25. Kind of takes the fun out of it, huh, guys? Yeah, I was way off on that one. We were talking about how that guy was a millionaire. Now, I looked up the article that I found it from. It did say $25, but the article was...

I should have known in 1904 they're not selling boxes of cotton candy for $25. Well, it shouldn't be on you to fact check an article from a publication. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but that's.

That's kind of crazy to think that's kind of why we're at where we're at. Yeah. I like that Derek. Because it's not on. Derek. Because we should have to check. Fat check. It's another thing for our podcast. Yeah. Derek's fun was ruined and he was like, you know what? I'll go ahead and ruin it for everybody else. Way to go, Derek. Yeah. I hope you're happy, Derek. But he's admitting. He's like, I'll never do it again. He's a pod. Yeah, he gets it. He's like, we don't look stuff up. Yeah. It takes all the fun out.

Caleb Bell. Caleb Bell. Like Kristen Bell. Kristen. Isn't that his name? Christian. Christian Bell. Yeah. Caleb Bell sounds like it would be like he's my cousin. Yeah. Y'all talk to him? No, never. No, never. I'm a mechanical engineer, and I still have to agree with Nate and Dusty on the lollipop argument.

Building a machine to standardize the licks doesn't make sense because there's actually more variables that are hard to control with the machine. For instance, you have to make sure that this licking machine has the right amount of moisture on the tongue all the time. As an engineer, I think it makes far more sense, especially budget-wise, to conduct this experiment many times over to get a good average by using human test subjects.

Here we go. Yeah, I feel like Aaron agrees with us too, but he has to stand by college. Yeah, that's true. He has to go with the college. Why did you go? You know, I started thinking about it. I started to agree with Aaron, actually. With the college? There's no way. Because...

To get a good standard average, it seems like you just want one that's going to do it the same way every time. Yeah, but the variable is what he's saying. With humans, it's like you can't – it's just – it's every – it's like a snowflake being like every snowflake is different.

Like every lick is going to be different. So you can't have a lick that's the same. If you want like a boring answer of just like, all right, but if you want the real thing, I think it's going to be a big difference. And what if the lollipop is doing something to the saliva? Maybe the longer you get into it, the more it's like affecting you. So it actually, your licks are less potent or more potent. And how not fun is your class that you don't go, we're just not going to lick the lollipops. I guarantee you, communion college, we're licking those lollipops. Yeah.

You go to some real big college. You're paying $7 million a day to go there, so they're like, let's build a machine. Community college. They ask you to bring your own lollipops. I've got some in my car. Max Parsons. Reese's has the color orange trademarked, and it even says so on their packaging. If you look in a candy aisle now, you'll notice no other candy bar or company is allowed to use the color orange, making Reese's stand out more. Wow.

That's power. Yeah. So there's no orange Skittles? There's no... I guess the package is red. I don't think there's... Oh, so the package... I guess it's just the packaging. I don't know if... Because there's orange M&Ms. Butterfinger slips out orange on the inside.

Do they? Well, it's kind of orange on the inside of the Butterfinger. Like in the middle of the can. Like once you eat it, like that, whatever the Butterfinger filling is, whatever weird chemical that is. Yeah. It's kind of orange. Now, Hershey's just announced that there's going to be a candy shortage for Halloween. Ooh. Because some of the ingredients, supply demand, some of the top candies, they're not going to have enough this Halloween. Yeah. We're going to have to get a little more creative. We're going to have to buy some of these.

Some of my old school. Fairy bread. Yeah. Some fairy bread. Hand out fairy bread. It's Australian. It's Australian. Hey, mate. Hey, mate. That's your Australian accent. That's all I got. It's just, you go, hey, mate, you want some fairy bread? Just fights in every neighborhood. And you're like, huge misunderstanding. The news is like, guys, if you get offered fairy bread, do not take it. This is an Australian delicate. Yeah.

It's an honored evening. Delicacy. Delicacy? Yeah. But let's ask, Aaron, though, after being attacked by the drone, do you still stand by the machines? I mean, maybe the licking machine would come out. Maybe the wind is your answer to the tongue, the human tongue's variables. The wind is like, yeah, dude, you can't, your machine is like, couldn't handle just life. Yeah.

I think you're right, man. Yeah. You're starting to make some good points. Now, some people said they just made the machine to see if they could do it. It was the mechanical part of it more than actually trying to get the edge on the Tootsie part. Right, it was an excuse to build the apparatus to do that. Yeah, yeah. We're not actually trying to answer the question.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Rolls pop? Then just say that. Then don't. Well, that kind of stuff's implied. You know what I mean? It's like we, Brian and I. A college answer is anytime you can call them out, they go, well, obviously it's implied. Right. That's what college teaches you. How to be, what's the word? Like you undermine. Dishonest.

Dishonest. Does he take it a step further? You're condescending. I think you pay college... The reason you go to college is to learn how to be condescending. Because then condescending, no one can ever challenge you. It would be condescending to explain these things. Yeah. Do you understand? You go, well, obviously we don't think that we're going to have these machines licking...

Tootsie Roll pops all day. It's like, yeah, of course. But then if I ask you, well, how many licks? You go, 52. And you go, but I thought you don't, you should just say, I don't know because we used a machine. You say, there shouldn't be an answer.

You're right. Well, lost in all of this is that nobody eats a Tootsie Roll Pop that way. What psychopath just licks? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but put it in your mouth and you move it around. But we wouldn't be talking about Tootsie Roll Pops if they didn't come up with that. How many licks does it take? That story isn't even talking about. If you just said, I just jammed it in my mouth and eat it in one piece, you'd be, you know, what's the commercial? Just like done, like you're, you know.

That is the old commercial. They had the owl come out and the owl licked it three times and then ate it.

Yeah, it was like a great... He got three licks in. Yeah. Yeah. He did it. Yeah, he had no patience. Yeah, he did it. The point of the commercial was it didn't matter. Everybody's going to eat it the way they want to eat it. And it was like, because he did three licks. And then, you know, but then it makes it, well, how many licks does it take? And then it's like, well, let's find out. And then the real people licked it. Blue collar folk. Me and Dusty. Yeah. We licked it. People that would wear those shirts unironically like you do. Our way. Yeah. And if you're poor... You wear yours...

I'm not wearing it ironically, but I understand. I'm not fishing right now. It's implied. Me and Dusty got handed those shirts at our job. Right. And if you're poor, a Tootsie Pop is a good way to feel like that. I had a shirt similar to that when I read Water Meters. They gave me a shirt like that. And I would wear it. I had the same outfit. This is a little like wearing a puka shell necklace. If I wear a shirt like that, people think I'm at work.

Yeah. They go, hey, can you help me with my growth? You look like you'd work at a dock. Yeah. Yeah, dock, auto zone. Like painting the dock. You'd have a job where you have to tie a rope. Yeah. Is it like you have to go, do you have to go to like a Nordstrom not to be asked for help? Yeah, I mean, if I tuck in my shirt, people ask for help. You have to go to high level...

You go anything, Walmart, Target, probably not, but Walmart, any- Yeah, Target, that's highbrow. That's highbrow. If I got a red shirt on and it's tucked in, they're going, hey- I'd imagine Home Depot, you can't even go to the bathroom. Home Depot is- He used to work there. Yeah, I know. I'd imagine Home Depot, you can't even. Lowe's, Home Depot, Autoparty.

AutoZone, you can't even get through the door. Gas stations. Yeah. Long John Silver's. You walk in AutoZone and they go, you're late. And then they're like, but you work here. You should know if I work here or not, but you just look so much like you probably work here. They're like the new guys here. Yeah. Not hiring and you're trying to buy batteries. Not hiring. I just like to buy the batteries. They go, all right, that's fine, but we're also not hiring. Right. Just so you know. Just so you know.

I did hear the old change place was hiring. Yeah. They send you somewhere else. Yeah. Animal attack comments. Chris hanger or hanger hanger. What will really be great is when you're hiking, yell, Hey bear. And a bear goes, hello folks. There we go. That would be great. That would be great. Yeah. That'd be making some real progress. Yeah. Uh,

I don't know if that's progress, but it is progress. I don't know. Yeah, I'm just trying to say that the podcast is reaching people. Bears are watching now. Yeah. It would be progress. Not with society. We could get bears to be talking. We'd be a lot less bear attacks going, hey, am I coming to you? And the bear would go, okay, I appreciate it.

Chandler Starks. Nothing explains you guys better than the fact that you all spent an hour arguing that a human could beat a grizzly bear in a fight. But when Bingo asked if you thought a lion could beat a bear, the answer was a quick no. Then on to the next topic. Don't be ridiculous. Mark Grossman. Mark Grossman seems like a name used in movies. Producer.

Yeah. I meant like they would use the name as like... Oh, like a character name. Character name. Yeah. Like I'm going to Mark... Do you go to Grossman's office? Yeah. Yeah. And then he gets thrown out a window. It's the name of a powerful person in comedy.

Right? Is it? Mark Grossman? Doesn't he own the helium clubs? Oh. Maybe this is him. Mark Grossman. There is at least one confirmed case of a human killing a bear with his bare hands. Take that. C. Dale Peterson. Of course, the guy with Dale in his name. Yeah. What's that C stand for? He'd be like, stands for C. He doesn't even stand. He goes, does C stand for Chris? He goes, no, it's just C.

I'd say so. Yeah. Wow. Uh...

Yeah, I don't. Is the child the bear? Is it a cub? I was like, I never made it. Because it was just hard for me to ever be a bear. That sounds like a good lesson. If you're getting attacked and the bear's eating you, might as well just stick your arm right in there. Might as well go in. It's like noodling with a bear. They've got this bear taxidermied and displayed somewhere. Oh, really? Somewhere in Wyoming. Rocky Mountain Grizzly Bear. Jackson Hole. Just to continually shame the bear. Yeah.

Well, right. The one bear killed... He bit... It's a message to all the other bears. He shut his arm to his throat and biting his jugular. The man bit the bear. How do you bite his jugular? You bite it in his neck. And then...

And that made it bleed out? Yes. Or he passed out? I'd love to see the picture. They should have C. Dale Peterson. Yeah. I'd love to see the size of that guy. When did this happen? Does it say? Is he still alive? C. Dale Peterson? Yeah. This guy's Jeremiah Johnson out here. Maybe that sign has it.

No. They don't even have the date. They don't have the date. It's like, yeah. Jugular vein. A fight to the head shoot in the bear's throat. Actually used his own teeth and jaws to pinch off the bear's jugular vein when the bear passed out from lack of blood. So he knew where his jugular vein was. That's good. So maybe probably a doctor. Yeah.

This guy was born in 1914, so it's fairly recent that this happened. C. Dale Peterson. Yeah. It's the 20th century. I thought this was Revolutionary War times. He was probably right on the cusp of when people still had to fight bears regularly. Yeah. A few years later, you'd be like, what are you doing fighting a bear? He was at the point where you're like,

people would hear the story. Probably wasn't his first one. No. No, that's where I knew where the jugular was. He's like, if ever this happens again, I'm going to be right. Well, now if he did, he'd get canceled. Yeah. They go, what are you? Come on, man. Why'd you shove your throat down there? Rebecca K. Clemenston. Clemenston. David in the Bible killed both a bear and a lion with his bare hands. Yeah, I got a lot of people calling me out on that because I said,

You couldn't kill a bear, but yeah, if God's on your side, then... With his bare hands? I mean, it's been a long time since I read that, but with his bare hands or with a sling?

It appears with his bare hands. He said he grabbed it by the mane, I think. Maybe he was a bit of a giant. Maybe David was. No, I guess not. He killed a giant. I thought he was the opposite. But he was a kid, though, then. Five-two. Was he five-two? No, I don't know. Everybody was like five feet back then. Yeah, he was a teenager. C. Dale Peterson did it. Goliath was six foot five.

Allegedly, though. I don't think so. He was about nine feet tall. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Okay. I mean, he was a giant, Goliath. Giant compared to a bunch of five feet tall people. Andre the Giant might have been. It may be Andre the Giant size. Maybe. And then, you know. I'm thinking he was nine feet tall. It does say? It was like he was however many cubits tall, and I think it translates to like nine feet something. Oh, wow. Abby Masters.

I grew up in Kenya. We have so many dumb animal stories, like how we were stuck in traffic for hours because a giraffe couldn't get past an electrical line. And how for a while, every time we walked out of our house, monkeys would throw avocados at us. Or how my high school went on lockdown for a few hours one day because there was an aggressive baboon on campus. It was all crazy at the moment, but now I have some good icebreakers. Those are some great icebreakers. Yeah.

That's so crazy. That is very funny to be, why are you late? I mean, you could make up anything in Kenya to be a dickum giraffe couldn't figure out how to buy electrical wires. He got caught in the middle there on both sides. Yeah, yeah. And they go- Don't move. Yeah, and then you go, I mean, no one can say anything to you. Uh-huh.

There's a story now in the news. I think it's monkeys that are snatching kids. Oh, yeah. I've seen that. Out of a school or something. These monkeys seem helpful. They're like, hey, look at these avocados we found. Yeah. Yeah. That would be. Can you imagine? Are you guys, are you all ready? On three, we're going to run to the car just every morning. One, two, three.

Three. I just run in the car, just bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Just getting drilled by avocados. You got to show up to school. You got it on your shirt. You're like, you know, what happened? I don't know. The baboons again. I mean, it was, I mean, you know, Abby and Kenya, I mean, I would never show up to school on time. Yeah. Just come in late and just, you know, I don't know. Well, Hippo was in her bathtub. Yeah.

But the teacher may even be in, you know, the teacher's like, well, you know that's going to happen. Plan for it. Yeah. Plan for it. Traffic. Yeah. You know, he's like, well, how do you plan for something that could be one minute or a day? Or we shoot it and kill it. Like it could be it never, it's like a fly that can't get out of a window or something, you know, or a bird that just keep hitting the, you're like, this could go on for hours. I mean, a day. One gets stuck in between, man.

Jesse Rothacker. Rothacker. Anyone else lose a little respect for Dusty when he said he belongs to an HOA? Yes. That was the least redneck, least off the grid, least Dusty Slay thing I've ever heard him say. Now I imagine him mowing his grass with plaid shorts and a golf shirt.

Yeah, I mean, I saw that comment in the Nateland Facebook group, and I had to address it. But, you know, it's like, I can't help it. I bought a house, and it turns out there was an HOA in there. Are you on the board? I'm not on the board. I went to one meeting. They did not listen to me. Okay.

I spoke up and they were all kind of like, all right, just we hear you. I think that helps your redneck status and is the fact that you talked at this HOA meeting. Yeah, I'd love to know what you proposed. You threw some ideas out. What were you proposing? Well, you know. Were you proposing seceding from the neighborhood? Yeah.

From Hermitage. If you did propose that, that's the most you could do. You go, I would like to be out. One time the HOA was looking at my neighbor's house and I was out there filming them and they go, oh, hey, we're just with the HOA. And I go, what'd you find? And they were like, oh, and I go, okay. Yeah, they shut up real quick. Yeah.

I think you're, see this, you got to talk about this, that this helps you out. The fact that you're in HOA, but you're filming. Oh yeah. And then, and then comfort. I mean, I'm anti the HOA. Yeah. I mean, I'm not, I don't support them. Yeah. I write them emails sometimes complaining about what they're doing. Yeah. Cause they'll come around harassing people and I'm like, what are you, what are you guys doing? Yeah. Just let us live here.

Like that fence, if you want to raise it. Well, the fence is eight foot, and I support it. I don't mind that, but apparently that's an HOA violation, but I don't report it. Oh, it's his fence. It's his fence, yeah. What is the reasoning for putting a cap on how tall a fence can be?

I don't know. I think they try to have these standards, right? They're trying to have... They won't when people... You pull into the neighborhood, everything kind of looks the same. It looks like... Because then when you buy a house... If you went into a neighborhood and this guy's got a 15-foot fence, this guy has no fence...

And it's like mix matched into the extremes of whatever anybody wants to do. This one's wood. This one's not wood. Like this is just a chain link. You probably wouldn't buy a house in the neighborhood because you're like, this seems kind of crazy. I mean, he might. Rusty might. But like you're going to be very specific to be like, I don't like you just want some

Our neighborhood, everybody has the exact same fence and you have to. And you're like, it looks nice. I think that's what you're selling is that it's a nice neighborhood. Apparently my HOA allows for you to have two chickens. So it's not that strict. Yeah. I want to advocate for a cow. I'd like us to have a community cow. I think that'd be fair. Oh, everybody should. To get a milk from. We'll get some milk. Yeah. Where would you put it? Just, you know, let it roam around. Yeah.

In the neighborhood. Yeah. Yeah. We already have deer and possums and raccoons. I had a groundhog looking in my back door this morning. Yeah. He was looking for me. But a cow, just one cow.

I mean, you're getting on the Kenya level. We are going to have problems. What happened? I mean, I'm very envious of this Kenya situation. I like what they got going on. Like Key West, there's chickens roaming all over the place. Tampa. Hawaii, chickens were everywhere. You should be a little on edge when you leave the house. Yeah. You know? Of the wild. Yeah, you should be a little bit like, I don't know what could go on. Come over to my neighborhood then. Yeah, that's what it sounds like. You got hawks and squirrels.

Squirrels. If you go live in the... If you live way out there, I mean, there's just... Yeah, got bear, and that's why you could... That's not our domain. We need to be reminded of that every now and then, I think. Yeah, so you would rather live in a place that...

I get the idea. No, I'm pretty happy with what I got going on right now. But in theory, these things would all be nice. How can you have that much land and have an HOA? Well, this is my regular neighborhood. I got land in a different spot. Okay. And somebody came and dumped some trash on the land there.

Really? I had to get it out of there. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's crazy. You put a no dumping sign? No, I'd like to. Where my dad lives, real country, they had a sign that said, no dumping of rubbish. And I felt like rubbish. I felt like people doing that. It's like, well, that's not what this is. This is trash. I got a couple things. Okay. So your wife, you don't allow her to use the microwave, so that's tough. Yeah.

She really does have to cook because you're... Yeah, I got a camera on the microwave. Yeah. At all times. If I catch her using it, the door's locked and she's not... A lot of people would be like, why do you even have one? Right. Well, it's built in. It's built in. You had no choice. Built in. My sister will actually use her microwave as a shelf for other things. That was his HOA. Hard good. Let's get all these microwaves out of the neighborhood. Yeah. Yeah.

But no, I mean, I'll use the microwave, but I'm like, I'm into the idea of using the oven. Yeah. I mean, I'm like, let's heat it up old fashioned style.

Yeah. Yeah. I feel like you don't like a lot of anything that can get done real quick. Yeah. I feel like if it's too quick, it's like, what are we doing with our, yeah. What happened? Yeah. It's like, we heat the meal up real fast so we can go watch TV. Why don't we just spend a little time cooking the meal? Yeah. Like if I get to go food, I don't put it in the microwave. I'll put it in a pan and then reheat it. Yeah.

And the other one, I noticed when you grabbed that shirt, you smelled it first. Do you smell a lot of clothing? Well, when he pulled it out, it smelled like I got a whiff of cologne or something. Maybe it was in his bag, but it just, you know, he's got a good smelling bag. I don't know, but I felt it. So I thought, was this shirt got built in cologne? That's high performance fabric. I will say it smelled good. It's moisture wicking too. I mean, I,

Yeah, I'd like to get a little whiff, see what's going on. And I didn't know if Aaron had been wearing it. I want to see what he's got going on. Yeah, I like it. Never worn cologne.

Now? I did for a little bit, but I haven't wore it really forever. You know, in middle school, there was like an epidemic of Axe body spray. That's when that was coming out. And it's the first time that you were like changing for PE and stuff. And I mean, every time I smell Axe or Tag or any of that stuff, I think of...

My middle school locker room, which is not where you want to go back to. I think I put cologne on – I think maybe in high school I had a little phase of it where you did it. But I mean, I just did it – On the wrists or whatever? No, you'd always do way too much. Oh, of course. Because you didn't know. I still – that's my – I'm not a – just a little bit kind of a person. Like, I mean, the amount of shampoo I put in my hand is –

Like it's like I don't have a shampoo conditioner. I mean, you need a drop of shampoo. Toothpaste, do you that way too? Oh, yeah. Shaving cream? Yeah. Like you should, shampoo should last you for like 15 years. Like you just don't need it. It does for me. But it, because you just should put like, it says a dime's worth.

And I mean, I'm putting, it's a full five bucks worth of- It's inflation. It's inflation. Yeah, you want to really feel it move around though. You don't want to have to work it. Get it in there. Do you repeat? Sometimes I repeat. Do I shampoo? I do shampoo and conditioner. Okay, but do you repeat? I'll repeat. I don't repeat it. But I've sometimes washed my hair like a couple of times. I can take-

one to two showers a day. I mean, I've gotten a little better just now doing one, but I can easily take one to two showers. I'll take, on the road, I can easily take two. Usually. Sometimes I'll skip a day. You know, I've done that a little bit. I skipped a day just because there's a little, I had one, my buddy Julian McCullough said once about deodorant. I forgot to put deodorant on for a show and I,

I go, I think I go off day coming. I forgot to put deodorant on. He goes, it's probably not a bad thing. And that has always stuck with me. It was a very off. And I thought, so now it's like, if I think like, I'm not a gigantic sweater. So if I know I'm not, it's cold outside or I know I'm not going to be doing something where I won't do it. Cause you're like, I think it is not bad. What did he mean? I quit wearing deodorant. I,

I did. I did quit wearing. Sometimes, I mean, actually, Lucy texted me one time, your wife at a comedy festival. Laughing school, yeah. She goes, can I tell you something? And I go, yeah. She goes, I think yesterday you were a little musty. And I just laughed. I was like, yeah, probably so. It was hot out. You know what I mean? Those are the tough days together. That was musty slate. Yeah. That was nice of her. Musty slate. It was. But I was like, yeah, all right. I'll pick up some deodorant tomorrow. But yeah.

Atlanta's hot. Atlanta's hot. Yeah. He goes, I'm going to live about eight days longer than you. So let's talk about it. But people never liked me in cologne. I had a little cologne face. People were never like, oh, you smell good. They were always like, who's wearing cologne? I think if I smelled the cologne on you, I would think you would then try to sell me that cologne. And it would be the bottle that you were using. And I'd be like, well, it's not even full. And then you're like, yeah, I'm not making you charge full price.

I think now deodorant like natural, like they have like some natural stuff. Oh, he meant for your health. Oh, oh, yo, they're saying, I think it's like a cancer. Like it supposedly stuff block your pore. I mean, there's a million reasons. Alzheimer's, I think. That was the whole point. Yeah, I'm trying to block those pores. Yeah, yeah. There's, you know, who knows, dude. Everything's got to be organic. I'm not saying any of this is, who knows. You know, Laura bought some sunscreen once that was some weird organic, because she'll just bring home stuff that doesn't have chemicals.

And so like, it'll just in the middle, you know, just no warning. I just got, I'm putting something on and it's like, what's this new kind we're trying that has no whatever. And, uh, I remember doing it. I mean, you, it was like, I just put pain on my body. Like I couldn't get it off my buddy, Doug, my friend, Doug,

He said he got some on the concrete once. They had to spray wash it off. You're like, some of the stuff that's supposed to be this organic, it's brutal. It's like wearing a shirt. Yeah, it's too much. I think people are coming up with ways that are like, you've got to meet in the middle. Shampoo's another big one. Sometimes I won't wash my hair because I've heard if you wash it too much,

I've heard that's not good. Yeah, I don't do it every day. I've heard that's true. Whenever I'm doing a thing, I try to wash it. But it's like if I'm at home for a few days, yeah, I won't wash it. But you're like – like women don't like to wash their hair. They get their hair wet because it's so long. Are you like that? No, not really. I don't mind, but I –

you know, I'll just like rinse it. You know, I won't use shampoo. Sometimes I'll just get in there and really scrub it. Yeah. But not, you wash it every day, it gets all thin and broke looking. Is it, is it like, is it, you only have, I mean, so much, as much water that's in the bucket. So you can't even. Right, right. Yeah. I mean, you don't get to stand there all day. Yeah. You know, especially when it's right out of the creek, it's cold. Yeah. Yeah.

That's why they call it a hot water heater, because we like to know. Is this going to make it hot? I said water heater ago. Yeah, I've been there before. So this week. This week we're talking about time. Time. We did calendars. That was a big hit. Right. We're going to delve down a little bit further, go into some time. Do you guys know how many time zones are in the United States? In the United States? Yeah. Including Hawaii? Including Hawaii.

Are they part of the United States? Now, do we claim credit for time zones between Hawaii and LA? Yeah. Do we own the Pacific Ocean between Hawaii and California? In America, there's four, right? Eastern, Central. In the...

I'm sticking with four. Yeah, eastern, central, and then I'm blanking on... Mountain time. Mountain time and then Pacific. And then if you go to Hawaii time, Alaska might have a time. But we also got Puerto Rico. We've got the Virgin Islands. We got stuff out there. Guam. Guam. I would say...

We've got the moon, too. Six or seven. Yeah, we do have a flag on the moon. That's true. That is right. You know what's upset? The moon makes the time. You know what's upset is that flag is just white by now. Is it? Yeah. Just surrendering. Just the radiation of space.

It's lost all color. Some would say it's not there. Am I right? Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure they changed it, right, Dusty? Yeah. How come every year it's like perfect? Yeah. And then how come every year they show a picture like, looks like it's got a tag on it. Yeah. Made in China. Made in China. I would say four. I know I was in Hawaii, so that was five. Mm-hmm.

What's that talk show called? I just got all off of it. I mean, literally we landed yesterday. So five, I'll give you a lot. I have no idea. Island time. Five, six. Island time, yeah. I'll say, I kind of want to say seven, but I'll say six.

For just the states, yeah, it's six. County territories, it's like 11. Okay. But then if you get into some are on daylight saving time, some aren't. Yeah. So then it gets even... So right now in New York, it's 345. They're on Easter. Here it's 245 Central. Denver, it's 145 Mountain Time. But Arizona doesn't do...

daylight saving time oh so in phoenix it's 12 45 wow that's crazy i never knew i was in phoenix last weekend and it can i did not know that and i was confused the whole weekend i didn't know what was going on i think i always thought you know what's funny i just always assumed arizona was in pacific time and that's how i always i just did it as pacific time that's how i always handled arizona

And so I was always right. Well, not during Daylight Saving, you wouldn't be. I love that they just don't participate. It's the most American thing of Arizona to be like, no, we're not going to participate. Yeah. Well, everybody thinks we should get rid of it. I think so. Everybody thinks we should keep it.

Okay. Whatever. Whichever one. Yeah. So LA, it's also 1245 because they're on Pacific time. Alaska, Anchorage is Alaskan time. That's a different time zone there. It's 1145 there. But then there's the Hawaii Aleutian time, which is part of Aleutian Islands in Alaska and Hawaii. Okay.

So it's 1045 there. But then the main island of Hawaii does not do daylight saving time. So it's 945 there. So that's eight different time zones. It's the big island. Yeah. I said main island this weekend, and someone was like, it's called the big island. Well, I meant all the... Did you ever heard the main island? I mean, it would turn around. I feel like they know what you're talking about. It would turn around. Yeah. I go, the main island? They go, which one?

The big one. Oh, because they got their own thing where they're like, well, we're not the biggest, but we're the main. That's the joke I made. But then the joke doesn't really work when you say the big island. It only works when you say the main. So I just woke up from this time change. We left at 8 p.m. on Saturday night in Hawaii, which had to be, I think, 1 in the morning or something.

And then we stopped in Dallas, and then we got home at 11 a.m. Nashville time. And so then yesterday I got home. I kind of fell asleep at like 1 o'clock for a little bit. And then I was like, I can't sleep. You know, I don't want to be crazy. And then I went to bed. Harper went to bed. She fell asleep so fast. It's funny when you have kids, you're always like, if they fall asleep fast, the parents usually talk. They're like, she was asleep. I mean, Harper fell asleep before.

I even, because we were both, we were all in the bed, and then I was going to go take a shower, and I watched her close her eyes, and then I was like staring at her. What was that? Big loud noise. I think that was Harper. Yeah, she's fine. She fell asleep. But when a kid falls asleep super fast, you're always very happy. And she was just, closed her eyes, out.

And we all woke up at like 11 today. And I mean, I fell asleep probably midnight, close to midnight. I woke up at 1130. And it was like, you're just whacked out. Like you were just so out. Because with the travel, I slept, maybe got a couple, two, three hours of sleep on that flight. If any, most people didn't get any. Plain sleep is never good sleep for me, at least. Yeah. Was your whole family on the same flight?

All 17? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody came back at the same time? We sat in different spots, but... You waved on them back there? You're like, I guess they got off. That sleeping was, I got two to three hours of sleep on that. I think all of them got zero. But I slept great. I mean, the plane I was on, I don't...

When you travel a lot, that was the one. It's like when you travel a lot, it's hard. Me and my, they, they, they wanted my, everybody would make me and my dad walk ahead of us.

Because we travel the most out of all of us. So when you're with people that travel a lot and people that don't, like we talked about this on here. When we were a bunch of cow, we had a bunch of cows with us. But they make you, Laura and my mom, they're like, y'all go. Go. Leave us alone. We'll get through. Yeah. Because they just don't want to be. Well, it's good that you have that instead of, you know. Yeah, yeah. At least she has the decency to do that. Yeah.

Well, they don't want any part of us. Okay. Because it just... Traveling with your family, it's just... Because everybody...

People don't fly all the time. So it's like they don't have an urgency. I think I got to be where I'm at when I'm supposed to be there and get out of everybody's way. And they don't bother anybody, but they're not in anybody's way. No one, I don't think, notices. It is hard. I took my nephew with me. We had a connecting flight, and I was like, all right. I was prepping him. I'm like, we got a tight connection here. We got to run. And he's like...

You know, I'm like, dude, we got, I don't know how to make you move faster, but we got to move. Yeah. He's like, and I don't know. I mean, I can't, I couldn't handle it. And he lives there now. Yeah. At the airport. He didn't make it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There are 24 time zones in the world. One for evenly split up for the 24 hours in the day. But. That's good. That's fair.

Yep. Everybody gets their own. But some countries just don't honor it. This was a committee that came up with this, and some countries were like... What committee? It's a NCAA? Yeah. It was the International Meridian Conference. It's like an HOA for the world. Yeah. They met in Washington, D.C. in 1884 and came up with time zones for the whole world. It's probably tough to be like...

How do they even know? You're like, let's go meet in Washington, D.C. You're like, how am I going to get there? When's the meeting? You've got to plan ahead of time. Well, we talked about that with the Olympics. You've got to start sending out those mailers really quick. You've got to really be on the ball. So did every country come or just a representative from that particular time zone?

Just the countries that they wanted to invite. Yeah. China doesn't honor this. China has one time zone for the whole country. Oh, really? Yeah. What's their time zone? Just China time? Yeah. Yeah. I think it might just be... I mean, this international committee splits up into like... It changes. Five time zones. But China's like, we're going to do our own thing. It goes off when... That would be funny to have a time zone. You're like, whoever's your president, whenever they wake up, it's like, they start the day. Yeah.

And you wake up late. What time is it? You're like, don't worry. He's still asleep. So you got all the time in the world. You're good. You're good. But China's huge. I mean, it's as big as- They should have five time zones. As big as the US, right? Yeah. So in some parts of China- As wide, I mean. The sun doesn't come up until 10 a.m. Because they're all on the same time zone. I like that. Sleep in. Yeah. Or you wake up, you're like, I've been up for hours. It's longer than the-

What do you mean? You said as wide. Yeah, I'm saying it should cover... It should have the same amount of time zones as the United States does. Is it longer than the US? I don't know how it compares. Okay. Do you know, Aaron, where the first time zone starts? China's about 2.2% larger than the United States. Very similar. I do love how proficient your Googling is. I just watched it like...

He does good. Yeah, it's like... Thanks, man. Yeah. That's good. I appreciate that, dude. Yeah. College helped. Yeah. Yeah. You get answers a little bit faster than people that didn't spend the money. I'm like, what's the size of China versus the size of the United States? Yeah. I don't ever know what to ask. They did... Which I have a joke about that now. Just...

So nobody claim it? Yes, nobody. I have a joke about that. I don't know how to type it. I've had it longer than this conversation. I don't want anybody to think this is working. Okay. But it's like you don't believe me. Is that okay? I believe you. All right. Was it okay to me? He didn't believe you when you said I cared about the environment. I don't believe that.

Do you know where it starts, the first time zone? Like, where's the mark? New Zealand. No. Well, that's the furthest. Now, I don't think we're right either. That's the furthest from us. Greenwich, England is where the first time zone starts. That's the GTM. That's right.

That's even on our phones. That's what. Greenwich time machine. Close. I think it's GMT. Greenwich. Okay. Meridian time. Meridian time. Greenwich machine time. Sorry. Go ahead. So if you go, I guess, west, it goes down an hour every time zone. If you go east, it goes up a time zone. It's like the streets of New York. It's like middle C on a piano.

So what's happening at the North Pole? What's their whole... No time. No time. Santa Claus is up there. What's the way it all kind of comes together? So if you're standing on the very tip, you could just kind of... You could be in all of them. Yeah. Or the South Pole, I guess. Yeah. Down in Antarctica. Yeah. So you're going to work, it's got to be. At the North? It's really tough. It's tough. You're like, I woke up at 8.45 a.m. I got to work at 7.30 a.m.?

And they're like, well, how's that? You know, and you're like, that's another. At the North Pole, all 24 time zones collide at a single point, rendering them meaningless. It'll simultaneously all of Earth's time zones and none of them. Time has no meaning at the North Pole. That's where I want to live. Yeah. Yeah. That would be difficult, though, to meet people.

Yeah, yeah. You know, you'd have to still, like you still want to go, but what time are we going to use? And you're like, all right, we're doing Central. What time do you want to meet and how far south are you? Yeah. That'll determine whether time starts to have meaning. Yeah. Has anybody been to the top?

The North Pole? Oh, yeah. People have been up there. Like right in that, like is there somewhere where you go stand and you go, this is it. This is the dog. I think people have traversed it on foot. And that's where the compass goes wild up there. They walked it? They traversed it. They walked it? Is that what you mean? Yeah. Why would you say traverse? Is that what you're saying? It was implied.

Do you say that when y'all park far? A walk makes it sound a little more casual than it probably was. I mean, this is probably an undertaking. So for you, like you go to the mall and it's just your nightmare. You have to park pretty far away. So do you get...

You and Lucy get in an argument and you go, I'm not traversing this far. Yeah. I mean, are you out of your mind to go to Sephora? You think I'm going to traverse all the way here? I go, how about you drop me off? Yeah. And then you traverse it. Right. And then you got that shirt on. We're going to cut this expedition in half right here. I'm not traversing all the way there. Yeah.

Traverse City, too. Michigan. Where do you think that name comes from? Walking. A lot of walking. A lot of walking. We did a show in Traverse City together. We did, yeah. So that's where you can walk on the North Pole? One of the worst shows on Earth. It's only possible during June and July. Isn't that convenient, Dusty? Yeah. Well, I imagine Santa's off. That's just... Yeah, that's when he's on vacation. Yeah, that's when he's about to be... He's just straight up...

Those are just two months. Eric Larson and Ryan Waters made an expedition to the North Pole trudging through snow, ice, and water. They're the last humans to ever walk to the North Pole. It's been done. Oh, wow. How long ago was that? 2016. Yeah. Okay. I'd like to try it. I bet it's not... I mean, you just get there and you're like, it's the idea that you're there. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, these cookies, can you...

I'm accepting them all, dude. You're accepting all cookies on the, you know, because I don't know if I know what that means. It means they track you. I know you're not getting cookies. They make it sound. Least attractive cookie. So if you're listening, he just clicked on a website, like every website that says you got to accept all cookies. But that one said you could reject them. I could have rejected them. I reject if they let me reject.

I thought I was on an incognito window and these would all go away anyway, but I guess I'm not. Sometimes there's like an X, but some of them you can't, there's no like, you can't reject it. There's no, it's either accept or it's like go to settings and go to, you know. Well, some cookies are useful. What are the cookies? Yeah, what are they? So if you, let's say you go to a website that you've been to before and like information's already typed in. Yeah. Or you go to Facebook and you're already logged in. That's all from a cookie. Yeah. Yeah.

It's just any information that's saved. Like a bookmark.

No. Why cookie though? Yeah. Like a snake. It's like a wooden Snickers. A bookmark. Marks your place for you. No, no. You mean like a physical bookmark? Yeah. No, it keeps all your information. I thought you meant like a browser bookmark. You're even farther away than I thought. Yeah. It's anything that you have to save your information. Yeah. So like the ones where you're like, you go to fill in your name and it says your whole name and address and it's already done.

But some places don't do that. So should I be accepting them, or does it matter? Sometimes. It's just, you know, just occasionally just clear all your cookies. I always just accept it. Oh, you can accept them, then I can go clear them. Oh, yeah. You can clear your browsing history, clear all cookies, clear your cache. Just start over. Yeah. Tabula Rosa. Just wipe it clean. What does that mean? Yeah, what does that mean? I don't know. Well, I didn't know about the cache. Cache with an E? No.

With a C-H-E, right? I would have been looking at my computer for the Tabula Rosa. Tabula Rasa. Oh, Rasa. No, that's a blank slate. Oh. Like a kill switch. Like a kill switch, exactly. Yeah, but just go every now and then just wipe it clean. You know, a lot of people never restart their computer. And their computer will just be on for years. And they're like, it's running a little sluggish. It's like, yeah, maybe let it sleep for a bit. Start it over. You'd be amazed. It's supposed to be great.

What do you mean? Well, it's a robot. It's supposed to be this magical thing. It's got to need some time to go to bed. But there's all this temporary stuff, all these temporary files on her computer.

And when you restart it, it'll, well, it just builds up. It builds up. It's a lot. But that's how we build. That's how we would beat the robots then. Cause if they're going to be like, never let them sleep. Yeah. Just keep moving. I'm sleeping. They're going to be like, man, too bogged down. Barry Sanders. I'm just shaking. Yeah. Yes, exactly. Yeah. You know, watch some videos on Barry Sanders. Speaking of that, turns out he just runs around a lot of people. He's not really the run through kind of guy. I still believe he could tackle a bear, but yeah, but that you'd rather it be him.

You don't want to be Derrick Henry because Derrick Henry goes right at the bear, and I think it's going to be hard for Derrick. Derrick Henry is going to hit the bear, and the bear is going to go, ooh. It's going to be a lot. It's going to be a lot. I do think Derrick Henry could take one down. Mm-hmm.

Well, see, we're talking about two different things. This is why I said Barry Sanders is that he's evasive. Yes. And he could juke and run around and do a sudden move. I just knew Barry Sanders was great, but I watched some videos and I was like, you know what? He is running around everyone. He's not really running through them. Yeah, yeah. But that would be, you'd want that skill, I think, more. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. So the reason time zones were created- I just wanted to clear that up. Yeah. No, I understand. Yeah.

The reason time zones were even created is because before then, everybody just had their own time. Whenever the sun was at its highest peak, that was 12 noon. So everyone just kind of had their own town. So from here to Lebanon would be two different times. Yeah. But then once trains started becoming a thing and you had train schedules, then everybody started missing their train time because 12, 17 is going to mean something different. So they're like, we got to come up with something standard. So what year was this?

This was late 1800s. Can you imagine just having... How do you even... Like, that's when they started doing this stuff. It's pretty crazy. Like, how do they... When do they go, you know what? Let's... We need to...

nail this time stuff down maybe it was easier easier well i don't know because you got in you're inventing it i was like easier to be in government then because you're like you're just coming up with like you know what dude we need stop signs like people are just don't even think about it yeah and then like there's like you know woodrow wilson's like he did stop signs you're like that's awesome man

And you go, he goes, yeah, I just, I was like a guy that just did. Easier to get applauded for things. Yeah. You're like, wow, that has helped. That's really stopped a lot of head-on collisions here in town. There were 300 time zones at one time in America. And then the railroad came in and they created 100 time zones, but that still obviously was way too many. So they finally put together this committee to make four.

Time committee. Time committee. Basically. But the states could say no. I don't know. You can say yay or nay on daylight saving time. Do they have to say yay or nay when they say no? I like the state that's like, no, it's 4 o'clock here. I don't care what you say. You actually say aye in parliamentary procedure.

All those in favor, please signify by saying aye. Oh. Aye. And all those opposed, signify by saying nay. Nay. What if you said no, though? I mean, I think they'd understand what you mean. They'd turn around? I don't know if the word is... You know when they say, like, you got five yays and 20 noes, and there's, like, about three... You got 20 nays, you got three noes. Yeah, you got a couple noes.

And five, I don't think so. And you go, okay, all right. So he's still got to fight it out. I like that it's a yay. Like in Congress, they're going, yay. Yay. Sometimes they do do that. People's lives are ruined. Yay. Do you know why we have daylight saving time?

No, I don't think anyone knows. I can't wait for the answer. It's something to do with farmers. Yeah. It's a common misconception, but that is not true. Some say it's for the bus stop. That is somewhat true. Whoa.

Look at you. It's the kind of stuff he would know. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, they started it, and then they were complaining because kids were now waiting in the dark for the school bus. Oh, really? So they repealed it after a year. This is in the 1970s. They didn't care about us when we were waiting at the bus stop at the abandoned gas station. This was back in my time. Sometimes at church. Yeah. So for a while, they stopped it because kids were waiting in the dark. It's hard for the horse to see you. Yeah. And if...

The real reason is it was during the World War I and World War II to conserve energy. They thought if the days were longer, they'd be using less electricity and they needed to conserve energy because they were fighting a war. So it's kind of a boring reason. But they make the day shorter in the wintertime when it feels like you really need heat.

Yeah. True. I mean, it first started... I guess you were using a wood-burning stove back then, and that wasn't... Maybe just go to sleep. The first person who proposed it was a guy in New Zealand who was an entomologist, and he needed more time after work to... He was a what?

Entomologist? Is that correct? I've never heard that. Entomologist? A time-ologist? Entomologist. He looked at bugs and insects. Oh, the branch of zoology concerned with the study of insects. Never heard of it. He wanted more time after work to look at insects. Wow. So he proposed. Yeah. And so we gave it to him? He's the first person who threw it out. But then, they thought he was crazy. But then an Englishman named William Ouellette was a big golfer.

And he didn't like his round getting cut so short, so he proposed a two-hour jump so he could play more golf. Well, that makes sense. Yeah. That you're on board with. I love that the insect, they're like, what do you want to do? Look at insects. Nah. What do you want to do? Play golf? All right. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. But would they ever get rid of it? I think there's a lot of push to, like right now, we're in daylight, and just to keep it and not go back to standard time where it gets darker. Yeah. Yeah.

Now, some people are against it because they say God ordained a certain time to be a certain way. We shouldn't be messing with God's timing and stuff like that. But you wouldn't be if you kept it. Is that really an argument that's used? I've heard that, yeah. Interesting. But you wouldn't be if you kept it just one. I would say if you switch it, that's when you're messing with it. Yeah, but it would still, the real high noon sun's the highest would be standard time, not daylight saving time. Yeah.

So they say whenever the sun's highest in the sky at noon, that should be when we should keep it. Yeah, but I would say you've got a wiggle room of an hour. Yeah, I think so. Because, you know, it's like when are you like, it's there?

If you go at noon and look out, you're not like... And when they first started daylight saving time, every city just did it when they wanted. So it was still just a mess because everybody just did their own thing. And then finally Congress said it starts the last Sunday in April and then changes back the last Sunday in October. Do you think someone was jailed for not keeping the time right? Like some mayor was like, we're not going to do it, and they arrested him. I'm sure the city loved him if he did.

I don't mind daylight saving times that much. It's kind of a fun thing when I hear it's, oh, I forget about it, you know? Then it's just a fun little thing. Well, the only thing good about the fall back is you get that extra hour of sleep. That was always great. Yep. But, I mean, getting dark at 4 o'clock is brutal. They say it'll fix your health when it switches to daylight saving. There's more heart attacks.

there's just a lot of health reasons. Yeah. You seen when it gets darker sooner, people have more heart attacks. No, I think it's the opposite. It's okay. It's later. You stay up later. You don't get as much sleep. It impacts your health. When it used to fall back and we would be in the bars and it would fall back an hour and we would go, all right, extra hour. We all got an extra hour to drink. It was a blast. Yeah. Yeah.

I wasn't doing that, but there was always that one guy who didn't know about it and showed up at church right when we were getting out. One time it was our own preacher. Two different worlds. Hey, we're both Christians. You got to go your own route. Have you ever thought about, I'm sure you haven't, why it's 60 seconds, 60 minutes? Why is that instead of just...

No. No. I know what a second comes from. I don't know why we've divided it down that way, though. Because, I mean, most things are like in tens. You would think it'd be something like that. It comes from the Babylonians. They did. It's a study called sexagesimal. It's the counting in 60s. 60 is one of the best numbers for division. Okay.

You don't get into a fraction until you get to the number seven. 60 divided by one, 60 divided by two, three, four, five, and six. It's all evenly divided. So they said it's just a good number if you're saying, you know, 60 minutes divided in halves 30 and 15. So they just went with that because it's a good fraction number. That's interesting. Tens are pretty good too, but I guess 60 works well. Yeah, but you get 10 divided by three, you've got some problems. Yeah.

Three and a third. Well, now you're getting into fractions. Three and a third, 33, and it could go on and on. Yeah. A lot of threes. Yeah. I think he shut down your argument pretty quick. Hey, that's fair. I mean, I have no complaints about the current system. I'm just saying. Yeah.

Now there's less than a second. I don't care for 11.45, but all right. It'll never be time 666 this way too, which I'm a fan of. If it were time 666 in the day, I would not care for that. If twice a day it were 666. Yeah, I wouldn't care for it. I wouldn't like it either. It'd be a lot. Well, 333, you know what's happening. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Dusty has gotten in, speaking of bars, many fights in bars, he's told me, over Christianity. That's true. He shoved someone in the face because they were denouncing Christianity. We got into a fight and he got real close to me and I pushed his face and he was like, that's real Christian-like and I pushed him again. And then I got kicked out. Yeah.

So there's less than a second. There's a millisecond, which is one thousandth of a second. Microsecond, one millionth of a second. It keeps on going, nanosecond, one billionth. The smallest measurable time is Planck time. It was named after Max Planck. And if you blinked once, that's 550,000 trillion trillion trillion Planck times. It's the smallest amount of measurement that they can do. So your blink is the quickest thing on Earth?

No, one blink would be that huge number that I just said. That's how many of those would have happened while... Oh, so the blink is the slowest, one of the slower moves. In some respect, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So that time you can't even observe. No, no. So we just gave it to a guy. I mean, you can't even prove it, right? Like, you can't see it. So like, oh, that's blink time. Yeah.

Is a blink the fastest thing on Earth? A blink's pretty fast. Yeah, it is pretty fast. Faster than light. I don't know. It's hard to tell. I see light. I don't always see my blinks. Yeah. A blink comes quick, but a camera can catch it quite often. Yeah. I mean, look how much light. We got too much light in here. We had so much light that we tried to get rid of it in daylight savings time, but no one's touching blinks.

That's fair. So we gave this guy his own time because he just was like, I bet I can... Yeah. He just invented it. Yeah. He's just like, you can't go any further than this. And like, all right, we'll call it plank time. So... Yeah. I don't know. Good for him. I'm...

Go ahead. I missed a lot of the plank time thing. I don't know what happened. I was thinking about pushing that guy's face, and then you brought that up and then went right into plank time, and I really missed a lot of it. I feel like I'm caught up, but... Yeah, it doesn't matter. Yeah, it's just a really, really short amount of time. Okay. It's about a blink's worth. Yeah, yeah. You're missing with a blink of an eye. Yeah. I mean, why is that saying? Yeah, in the blink of an eye. The plank of an eye.

And then the Bible talks about removing a plank from the eye. Oh. Ooh. Maybe that's who they're talking about. Max Plank. Yeah. Max is our plank of our eyes. He's a thorn in our side. There's such a thing as a leap second.

The International Earth Rotation Service is an organization that keeps up with Earth's rotation. And every so often, because the Earth's slowing down rotation. That's a bogus organization. We have to add a leap second. Yeah.

But sometimes it messes stuff up because computers have programs and stuff like that. The last time, well, in 2012, LinkedIn and Reddit both crashed because of the leap second they added. And Qantas Airline, 400 flights end up being delayed because their servers crashed because of this leap second they added. So this is a real problem. So they added it? Mm-hmm. Why are they messing with it then? Because the, this committee? Yeah. Because the Earth rotation is slowing down.

Because of, we talked about that on the Earth episode because fat Earth and stuff like that. It's getting tired. So why don't we just be like, well, don't add that in. Because eventually time would get off track. Yeah. It's only off track if it, so, because we don't want noon to be at 11 o'clock at night. Yeah. It's kind of like a leap year. So when's that going to happen?

if we left it alone well it's one second every three years so it would take a long time before yeah like well why don't we just make it like hey could everybody just chill out we're gonna do the thing and so this like you pick a day and you go nothing will travel this you know why don't they coordinate it's tough to coordinate that man but this could happen again december 31st 2022 this year there's another possible day we'll do a leap second

This is when it's all going to go down. So don't trip. I think. Well, don't travel. Don't blink. You'll miss it. Don't travel on New Year's Eve. I mean, good luck. Yeah, another leap second could be coming. Good luck enforcing that. I'll be doing a show in Raleigh, North Carolina when that second gets added. I'll be doing a show in Toronto, I think. You'll run the light. Yeah. Sorry, I went over a second. I know you're going to slip that right in.

Now you'll go over and you'll be playing like, you don't know about the leap second, buddy. I was right on. Yeah. Oh, this. Oh, okay. Yeah. Because you'll gain a second. You can actually cut it short that night. Yeah. The club will be like, yeah, actually, we're a second short. Yeah. Does it always happen at New Year's Eve?

No, they could have done one this June, but they decided not to. But they looked at the earth and it was still spinning okay. Because maybe the best time is New Year's because it's the least amount of stuff. Just slide it in there at the end. Yeah, you're drinking. There's a lot of stuff going on, fireworks. But it's also the only day of the year where people are particularly –

in what time it is. I know, but you know, it's like, it's almost the worst day to do it. But we're on the ground. No other day do they do a countdown to midnight. Add it in the countdown. Like, you're like, 10, 11, 9, 9, 9.

That would be great. That would be. Ten, ten, nine. That's all it would take, and then we're back on track. I agree. When you put it like that, it's pretty easy. Let's just do that. Yeah. So we think of time, past, present, future. Usually you would think of a piece of paper this direction, right? Yeah, linear. Linear, because that's the way we read things. But other countries that sometimes go this direction, they think of past, present, future.

And there's the Ameri people in the Andes Mountains of South America. They consider the future behind us and the past in front of us because the future is unknown. That's behind us. We can't see it.

The past, we know what happened. It's in front of us. It's kind of the opposite of us. Does that make sense? I don't know. So they're walking backwards. The past. Well, we would say the past is behind us, right? The future is ahead of us. Well, you know what happened in the past. So that word just means different than. Essentially, yeah. It seems like a depressing way to live. Like you're always looking at the past. That word means, it just means different than that. They should just say it. It was a very complicated way to go.

They don't use the same word we use. Right. They don't. Yeah. Yeah. You just go down. Hey, guys, turn around. Yeah. Whoa. Fortune teller means a lot different thing there, right? Can you tell me about the past? Yeah. I don't know. You'd be a great fortune teller. Yes. Fortune teller would be a breeze. Yeah. What's going to happen in the future? I'll tell you. It's going to rain about noon. Well, some scientist. And then you're like, that was right.

It did rain yesterday. Yeah. Some scientist like Einstein says time's an illusion. It's not even a real thing. I agree with that. The past, present, and future are all just stuff we've created in our head and it's all just one big thing. Yeah, it's easy to say when you're gone.

It's easy for a dead man to say. He left it at his will. They read that after he died. Yeah, I mean, and this is the guy who has E equals MC squared, right? And we're all supposed to marvel at it. And I'm like, well, that ain't me. Yeah, yeah. It's like, okay, all right. Do you marvel at it? E equals MC squared? I mean, I think it was pretty important. What is it? It was not really my field, but I understand it's pretty important. Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared.

Energy equals mass. C is the speed of light. Okay, I didn't know what the C stood for. Times the speed of light. I'm fairly certain that's what it is. Yeah. Right, but who does that mean anything to, though, really? Physicists, scientists. Right.

Einstein said a handful of people. Yeah, a handful of people. So why do they push it on us? I like Austin 316, but I don't go to science buildings and make them wow at it. I don't wear the shirt. I'm not in your science office asking you to do the Stone Cold Stunner, am I? But you make me go all crazy over E equals MC squared. What does it mean, Aaron?

Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared. Okay. Yeah. All right. Einstein said there's no now because it takes 80 milliseconds for us to process something we see. So by the time we process it, it's already in the past. So you're only looking in the future. I think you're only looking in the past, right? You're only looking at the past. Oh, really? Have we talked about this? Wait, why? If there's no now...

Because I think by the time we process it, it's already happened. Yeah. So it was in the past. So you can see ahead of you. No. You can see by... I think by the time... But there would be something seeing the now. If I'm looking at you, there's something seeing it, whether I process it might be, but I'm walking in the now with my brain. But it's always like now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, yeah. But your eyes are like...

That's why your eyes flash before you because your eyes see it before you. So that split second, that's why you probably see everything because your eyes see the danger. That's true. That's where your brain. I got something here about that. Time slows down when you're in danger because your adrenaline kicks in and you process things faster. It's like Spidey sense. Yeah. All right. Look at that.

I feel like you guys just reversed a little bizarro. You threw out a, and you said Spidey sense to process it. Yeah, because he needs to help. He's trying to dress like us today. You could never make a fashion risk around comedians. No, no. You never can. No, in New York, the economy store, you'd be very conscious. I mean, I would go to Laura and I'd go, does this look dumb?

I'd ask her just to be like, is this, because you just don't want anything to, that's going to be like, what are you doing? I remember the first time I wore jeans to Zany's. Blew my mind. I remember Brad Sativa, our friend. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh, Weber got a swag back. I was like, oh, God, dude. Yeah, you used to wear shorts on stage? No, I used to wear – I wore khaki pants for like 10 years. I never wore jeans. Yeah, yeah. And you lost the weight and did it? I lost enough weight to where I could buy them at a regular store. Yeah. And I haven't worn khaki since. Yeah. And that's all it took.

Wait, because khakis, they figure you are going to get khakis. So khakis, you could buy big khakis at regular store. Oh, yeah. You can just get a free... A lot of men in business putting on a lot of weight. They got a business credit card, eating meals. But they figure the fit's different too. The fit, you can just get those straight leg khakis that are just... I mean, looking back, not a good look.

I like khakis. We wore khakis a lot. I like them in theory. Not the kind I was wearing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was not flattering. Yeah, yeah. But it's all you could do. It's all I got. It's what I had. Wrap a tarp around you. Yeah.

He's just going to go on stage making that tarp sound. Hey, everybody. Doesn't mention it. So time travel is possible, at least to the future, because the faster you go, the more time slows down. So if you could go speed of light and you left Earth,

For one hour, and you came back at speed of light, it would be 17 years would be passed. So your blinks are in... I'm not sure about blinks. Ahead of time. Yeah. Yeah.

Your blinks blink because they know something's about to pop in your eye. You know, like the movie Interstellar? Yep. That movie blew my mind. I don't believe it, but it blew my mind and I thought about it for days and days and days. It is a fictional movie. Yeah. Now that's, but the premise... Well, I don't believe that it could happen. I get it. I don't believe in Jurassic Park. Yeah. Right. But in Interstellar...

Exactly. In Interstellar, that was a black hole.

that caused the time to slow down. And Einstein said that too. If you get a large mass with heavy gravity, time slows down. It can be proven. You can put a clock on the top of Mount Everest and put a clock at the equator and there'll be different times because the one set on different, what clock just sets itself. No, if they were set, if they're placed at the exact same time,

Yeah, over time. Set at midnight. They're going to be different, yeah. Okay. I mean, a very small, small, small amount. But because one of the equator is closer to Earth, the mass gravity, it would, I guess, slow down. Yeah. So he's saying if you were on a black hole, it would really slow down, like in the movie Interstellar. So, but then, yeah, I need to watch Interstellar. It's good. I'll watch it tonight. I watched U.S. Marshalls.

Just recently. Last night. With Tommy Lee Jones and Wesley Snipes? Yeah, yeah. That's a good movie. Yeah. It's funny, that movie, he goes to Kentucky, and then they go search for him in the swamp. I thought that was The Fugitive 2. Are they both in that too? The Fugitive 2? No. Oh. No, there was no Fugitive 2. Oh, he was the same character, just a different name. Yeah. But U.S. Marshals, when they go look for Wesley Snipes,

I think he goes to – oh, no, wait. Yeah, I think he goes to – I feel like they act like he goes to the swamp. Louisiana? And I think he's in Kentucky. Oh, so that makes sense. It didn't make sense to me. But unless I'm re-messing up, maybe he goes to Louisiana. But I think he just goes to the – I swear I thought he goes – He's got some swampy areas, though. No, but it's not – I mean, do they talk like he goes to the swamp? Yeah. And I'm like, in my head, I'm thinking this is –

This is what L.A. thinks the South is. They just are like, oh, Kentucky's like, well, those— Roberts flees to New York City after escaping a near-death encounter with law enforcement, which Girard and his team quartered him in a swampland in Kentucky. What swampland? I mean, I lost my mind. Because this is straight up what they think of the South, that they don't even have the decency.

To go, what Kentucky land are you going to where you're like, we're entering some swamps? No one ever said, yeah, there's lakes, there's snakes. I understand that. There's no swamps in Tennessee. You would have to go to Louisiana, Florida. That's where your swamps are at. This is where I take it, but the people that wrote it, they're like,

This is how disconnected they are that they go. It probably would Kentucky swamps there. And then they got a guy on a boat, go snakes. We'll get them in the swamps. And you're like, what swamps are in Kentucky? Yeah. You don't, does that seem crazy?

No, I agree with what you're saying. It took me right out of the movie. It's like a caricature of the South in a lot of ways. It took me out of the movie. Yeah, there's people playing banjos and stuff there. I was so confused going... In the fan boat. Yeah, I was so confused. I was like, is he not in Kentucky? What are they talking about? I mean, it was a big deal. The snakes will get him.

The swamps. And they're going through swamps and it's like, I don't even think they could have shot it in Kentucky. That's the only scene I remember from that movie is that scene. Yeah. Going down that swamp. Yeah. Yeah. It's the same character, right? They just called it a different title. Oh, it's Tommy Lee Jones, same character? Yeah. It's a spinoff from The Fugitive. Oh, it is? Mm-hmm. That's interesting. I didn't know that. Fugitive's great. Yeah. All right. So time travel. Yeah.

It's possible. Stephen Hawking says, though, people will never travel to the past because he threw a surprise party in 2009 and only invited people from the future and no one showed up. He didn't announce it until after the party, but no one showed up. So he says that proves that

Either proves that there's no time travel or nobody wanted to go to his party. Yeah. No one likes Stephen Hawking. They're like, do we want to go to the past to hang out with Stephen Hawking? Yeah. That party would be a lot. Yeah. I mean, it's not. Is that really worth it? We got stuff going on right now better than that, really. Yeah.

Did he send invitations? After the fact. I don't know if he sent. How did he do it? He can't send them out, I guess, but I guess he announced it after the fact. Hey, guys, I'm having this party that was last week. If you're in the future, come back. And I've got hors d'oeuvres. I got champagne. And he held it. No one showed up.

So he held the party and then sent the invi- when would he have sent the invitations? After the fact. I don't know if he actually sent them, but he announced it after the party. So only people from the future would have known about this party. This is what I would say if nobody showed up to my birthday party. I would go, nah, this is for people in the future. I'm going to try that. So time travel's impossible. I'm going to try that on Facebook. I'm going to announce a show that I did last week. Yeah.

You're going to just perform for people from the future. And then you need to meet someone that goes, your show was great last week. Yeah. That's how you would tell. Yeah. Did anybody come up and ever do that? Like Stephen Hawking, someone should have came up, that party was awesome. Yeah. And then he'd be like, wow. Yeah. So time travel is real. But they would have had to showed up at that party then and nobody showed up. Yeah.

After we announced to anybody, we could have went up to him and said, hey, man, that was a great party. A week later, a guy walks up. Your address was wrong. Idiot. He goes, what? He goes, you know how stupid I looked banging on this door? I brought a pound cake. He goes, yeah. I'm like, I'm from the future. Yeah. You're just mad. He goes, yeah, 7 p.m.? Where were you?

There is a professor at University of Connecticut, astrophysicist professor, who says he's invented a time machine. And he's figured out a way to travel back. Now, his dad died of a heart attack at age 10. And ever since then, he's been obsessed with creating a time machine to go back. You don't believe that. Go ahead, Andy. Yeah.

You made it sound like his dad died when his dad was 10. Oh, I'm sorry. When he was age 10. When he was 10, his father died of a heart attack. So you don't believe that. That was correct. You did not believe that his dad died of a heart attack at 10.

So he's been obsessed with creating a time machine and he thinks he's figured out a way to do it. That's kind of sweet in a way. He's carrying on the family business. Yeah. Honoring the legacy of his father. Yeah. But if he does it, they'd be like, we wouldn't mind if you go do some other stuff other than. Well, I don't know if his, how's the family business?

Didn't you say his dad wanted to do a time machine too? No, he wanted to do this time machine after his dad died so he could go back and warn him to save himself. Some people think Tesla invented a time machine, invented a way to travel back in time. Nikola Tesla. Oh, I thought you meant Elon Musk. Well, I think that's derived from Nikola Tesla. Yeah. Yeah.

And then that's it. And that's why Edison's men killed him? Well, maybe. It's a crazy... There's a whole Donald Trump is a time traveler conspiracy out there. You guys ever got into that one? No. Well, they say that Nikola Tesla, like Donald Trump's uncle or great uncle, was friends with Tesla. Yeah. And then he was in charge of going through all of Tesla's things to see if any of his inventions were worth using.

And then he was like, nah, none of them were worth anything. But he found time travel. Yeah. And because there's this book, there's these books that were written in like the early 1800s about Baron Trump, the time traveler. And then he has a friend named the Don. Yeah.

I think there's even a Mike Pence character or something like that. And they're staying in New York City. House that's white? No, no, like in whatever, wherever the Trump Tower is at. Yeah.

whatever that street is. I don't know. It's been a long time since I looked at it, but that's fun. It's pretty wild. Yeah. This is what you bring to the podcast. Stuff like this. Yeah. I mean, it's out there. I mean, there is a video on it somewhere on YouTube and it's pretty fun. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably been taken down since then. It probably has. It's worth getting into. It's a good 15 minutes of being like, no, that was fun. Yeah. Yeah. Conspiracy stuff is fun. If you could go back in time anywhere, where would you go?

before you said that? Yeah. No, um, I don't know. Um, uh,

I don't know. I mean, do you believe in time travel? No, I don't think so. Yeah. No. I mean, the 90s would be fun, though. I'd go back and hang out with myself at the trailer park. Yeah. 90s were great. That's what I said. I said I'd go back to the Wilson County Fair. What a waste of a time machine. I wouldn't go back to 90s. I'm saying 90s were great. Yeah, it was great. But if you get one choice, that would be such a disappointment. Yeah. I imagine you shouldn't go do something for yourself.

that I would imagine like he should you would like go and try to like fix something but you can't go back and change things in a way that would alter the future it just want to go see if you say let's just say you go see a time period okay uh

You know, you might be, you can maybe do 50s or something like that. Or like, if you're like, all right, I don't want to go. It depends on how far back you, if you want to go see dinosaurs, it's like, I mean, you're going to live, like, where are you going to live? Like, you got to live, you got to know how to survive. Yeah. In the wild. Oh, I figure you're just poking back. Yeah. Peeking out. Yeah. And then going right back. I don't think you're camping out for a while, but that would definitely change my answer. If I had to live there. Well, could you guarantee that you could get back? Yeah. I mean, with that. In this theory. You can't.

Oh. Yeah. Yeah, you can't guarantee that you get back. So you don't want to go too... Well, that's... If you can't come back, yeah. You don't want to go... So like, where could you go... You go to the 1800s and you're like, oh no, my money's not valuable and I'm like living in a... Yeah, but if you have like 40 bucks, you're a trillionaire. Yeah. I mean, you're... But your money looks so weird probably. Yeah, you have to get some gold bars. So no one's going to believe in it. I'll go back in time two years and buy Bitcoin. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, that's a good idea. You know, that's a good go back. Bitcoin crashing. Play the lie. I'd sell it when I had no, when it peaked. So, okay. Or you go invest and go invest in Google. You'd look up like how someone became a billionaire investing. Go to that point.

I still stick to the 90s. Yeah, well, you go back to the 90s, buy stocks in all these companies that are now huge that weren't back then. Amazon. I would just go back to the trailer park and hang out with my family when I'm like, everybody's like my age now.

Just hang out with them. Could you go back and buy stock and then just go back to now and you'd be a- Oh, sure. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And then when you get back, now your bank account is crazy. You could go buy the mega million ticket from this weekend. Oh, yeah. Could do that. Somebody won that one person, by the way. Yeah. $747 million they took a buyout. Is there a way to keep track of them to see if it ruins their life? Where they won it, they said it is, they don't have to say who they are. Oh, okay. Which is the best case scenario for that person. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, people are going to find out, you know, there's no way that you go, I got a Mustang over there now. Yeah. Yeah, I do. Moving, huh? Yeah. Yeah, take it off. That's funny. He goes, yeah, just think about mixing it up a little bit. But last week you just lost your job. Well. Yeah, it's tough, you know. I found a new one. Yeah. That is, how do you keep it? How do you? Yeah, people are going to know. You don't. You don't. You don't.

Yeah. I mean, and so much people- That's so much money that you really can't get rid of it unless someone's talking. I mean, if you go buy seven homes for $100 million, but like it's so much money that it's going to be hard for a person. If the person has no money and wins, I don't think they would even know how to spend that money. No, no, no. Not that much. $747 million. Right. Right.

You ever see Brewster's Millions with Richard Pryor? Yep. That's about him inheriting some money, but his uncle, I don't know, it's like a trick. So he can inherit a giant jackpot, but first he has to spend a million dollars without actually buying anything. Oh, yeah, I think I've heard of it. So it's a real game, and he said, by the time you spend this, I'm going to make you hate money.

So it's Richard Pryor trying to spend all this money. It's fun. Oh, without buying something. He can't actually own anything physical. Yeah. Didn't they say if you were... I'll watch it. John Candy. John Candy. I bet it's fun. Yeah. Didn't they say if you were given a penny and each day you could double it, by the end of the month, you'd be the richest person in the world? I don't know about the end of the month.

I don't know. Think about how quickly things start doubling. I mean, the first week you're going to have 14 cents, but after that, it's going to... Once things start taking off, they're really going to start taking off. One cent, two cents, then you have four cents. Then eight, 16. Yeah, it'd be more than... Yeah, more than four cents. Yeah, yeah, I was wrong about that. Yeah, it would really, really take off fast. Look up the double and the penny. I think it is like you'd be something, but it would...

It's longer than that. By day 30, you'd have $5 million. Yeah. All right. So I'm wrong. So you'd be well off, but I don't know. But yeah, if that continues to double, it wouldn't take long. Well, two months, definitely. Yeah. Yeah. The hard part is finding the penny. Right. Right. The one that will double every day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess that's a good place to stop. That's a good place to stop. All right. Double this. I don't know.

Oh, I was going to tell Dusty this. There is a time zone, Newfoundland, Canada, they're on a half hour. Oh, yeah. I know. I did shows in Canada. I did the 5 o'clock somewhere joke. My joke is he says it's only half past 12, but I don't care. It's 5 o'clock somewhere. And I'm like, well, that's not true. It may be 5.30 somewhere, but you don't lose a half hour just because we changed time zone. And people were like, Newfoundland, Newfoundland. I was like, well, I don't think he's...

talking about Newfoundland. Yeah. But I actually met some Newfoundland people. I liked them. Yeah. I liked them. They were nice people. Yeah. Off a little bit. Some Newfoundland. Newfoundland's always just a little off. They go, I don't know. Yeah, it's my kind of people. You're always like, where are, oh, there they are. They're always right behind you. Yeah. All right. Thank you as always. We're glad to be back.

I, yeah, I'm going to Delaware this week and Wilmington, North Carolina, going back to the Cape Fear Serpentarium. All my dates on website, neighborhood2.com. I'm here this week. All right. All my dates, aaronwebercomedy.com is my MySpace page. I'm all over. I'm headlining clubs the rest of the year, which is very exciting. This weekend, I'm in Seattle at Laughs Comedy Club.

And then I'm in Columbus, Ohio and Arlington, Virginia next week. And then Tulsa, Oklahoma. That's, that's my August. So come on out. As of this podcast coming out tonight, I'll be at a high dive in Gainesville, Florida. And then the rest of the weekend at West Palm beach improv. Oh yeah. That's great. Yeah. West Palm. I've done laughs too. Me too. Yeah. Laughs. Great. West Palm beach. Fun. It's a big room. Yeah. Yeah.

But it's a cool, that whole area is, you know, you walk around, it's nice. Yeah, I'm pumped. It's a fun time. Yeah, Gainesville, then West Palm Beach. You know, Florida, right? Yeah, Gainesville's fun, too. Go Gators. We're going to be down there. There you go. Doing whatever. All right. Yeah. All right. As always, we love you, everybody.

I hope the kids have a good school starting, so that's tough for the kids. So have a good school year. Just get through it. Don't listen to anything that they tell you. Now, listen where you can listen to us for the dumb stuff and go listen to the teachers for it. That's how you're going to become not me and Dusty. And go to college like these two. Two very similar universities. You went to college?

I went to, well, thank you, Dusty. I went to Middle Tennessee State University. Okay, yeah. All right, I'm familiar. Yeah. First year they started. All right. Yeah. All right, everybody. We love you. Bye. All right. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media.

Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land podcast.