#113 College pt. 2
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Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com. Hello, folks. Welcome to the Nateland podcast. There we go. Hey, Bear. Welcome to the Nateland podcast. I'm here with Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay. Glad to have you back this week. I'm in the audience, not, you know, everybody who's here, not y'all.

It was a fun week. Vandy, big win. Super excited. That's the biggest win I can remember seeing Vandy have. I mean, 62 to 10 or whatever. 63. Get it right, Aaron. My bad. I'm sorry. Yeah. We're not Notre Dame. Y'all can only get 62. Yeah, dude. It was super exciting. Hawaii was favored, I believe, right? No. No, we were slight favorites. I don't understand how that looks. I thought it looked the other way. But no one expected that. They got up.

first seven to nothing seven to nothing and then just it was like i was having to uh i was in massachusetts and i couldn't get the cbs network like i couldn't get it to watch it and so i was kind of having to follow it because i was doing a show and i was following it all the time but every time i refreshed it dude it was like we just went up and i've never i've never watched vandy like that i it was it was very cool to be i mean it was like

I would refresh it in like a minute. There was one point where it was like a touchdown, fumble cover touchdown, and we scored again. And, I mean, it was just every time I refreshed, we're 49, 50. And I'm like, oh. I think we scored 35 points in the third quarter. Third quarter, yeah, five touchdowns. Yeah, 35 points. Yeah, third quarter, I just could never not do it.

Every time I refreshed was just another one. And I mean, I was, you know, man, opening a season like this is just, we don't get that. And I'm super excited about it. Go SEC. Yeah, go SEC. You know? And you got a nice stretch here where you could really stack some wins up, too. Elon, Wake Forest will be them, and they're ranked. Northern Illinois, Alabama, I think easy. Yeah. Ole Miss, hard. No.

Georgia, easy. Yeah. Yeah, that'll be a tough run right there once you get past North Illinois. But the tone was set, which is very nice. We're number one in the SEC right now, and that's huge. Yeah.

I don't see how we lose that spot. Number one offense in the country. The last eight games, it's like, wow. What a run. Yeah. Well, it's the SEC. Yeah. But it's just super, super fun. I think every SEC team has now got to look at Vandy and be like, all right. It's not just going to be this easy thing. Yeah, you're a real team. We're a team. We're a team, and we're going to be a problem.

Do we go undefeated? I mean, probably. I think so. But I'm looking at the schedule. I don't see where the losses are. Well, as a traditional Vanderbilt fan, Elon is probably where it's going to be. So we got one hard game left, Elon. And then after that, it's a cool breeze to the SEC Championship. I'm pumped. I can't wait. All right. I love it, too. It was – yeah, welcome, everybody. We did – I was in –

Cough more into the mic. We don't have a cough button. So our theory is to just go directly into the mic instead of maybe leaning back or turning or just doing that. He pulled it forward. Almost cone it. Guys, give me two seconds. I'm about to cough and sneeze and I thought I would do it this way. Uh,

I had a fun weekend. My last kind of outdoor shows were this weekend. And we were in Toledo, Toledo Zoo. Great, great zoo. They showed us around. Harper and Laura were with me. We saw a bear, grizzly bear, very big. That's fun. They are big. They are so big. In looking at a bear, did you feel like that you could juke it? I mean, they're so big.

I mean, I know Joe Rogan shot that down so fast, but I still got to think, I mean, you know, Barry Sanders is not a deer. I think I'm definitely still giving it a go. Yeah. If the one's charging me, I don't think I'm going to stay. What are your other options? I don't know. I think you got to run straight sideways.

That's what I got to think. Because it's like Joe was saying, it's like a truck running at you. Well, if a truck's running at you and I run straight sideways, maybe at an angle kind of backwards, it can't turn. Yeah. Not saying it's not going to flip around. Now, a bear, a little more agile than a truck. But if both case scenarios jumped in front of me, a truck running at me and a bear, I'd figure if one's going to do one, you might have the other. Moving is a good option.

In general, yeah. If a truck's coming at you, you don't go, I got no chance. Just stand here. Even if he swipes you with the claw, you know, it's like maybe you can get away. Yeah. The claws are crazy. Yeah. It'll hurt. It'll hurt. Yeah. It'll hurt. But I'm not saying I'm not going to try it. Right. Yeah.

Now was Eric with you at the zoo? Yeah. Okay. Someone emailed and said they saw Eric and Harper walk around the zoo together. Oh yeah. I was like, okay, I guess Eric's a nutritionist, barber, babysitter. We, that was, I had to go to soundcheck and, uh,

uh harper where they wanted to see the wolves and i wasn't able to go so eric when they went and the wolves so i mean everybody there at the toledo zoo i can't think enough they were so cool we got to do a lot of stuff got to feed a lot of animals like and uh they were just very nice and and that's the fun stuff you get to take i get my daughter gets to go see all this kind of stuff and so uh they they were they were awesome and that venue's awesome

I love these outdoor shows. I mean, we got very fortunate. We never had weather problems. They had a weather problem in Cape Cod where I was because I was Hampton Beach, New Hampshire. That place is awesome. That venue is like a ballroom kind of type, but it's a awesome, awesome place. And we played, oh, that's what I meant to wear it. Like, but we, we went into a casino at an aces and eights casino in New Hampshire and you can go play. We played with, uh,

We played blackjack, but it's only, it goes like the money goes to some of the money goes to charity or something. So you can only, it's $5 minimum, $10 max, which is a, it's a pretty solid. Yeah. I think anybody can walk up to that table and they feel all right. Like, you know, can't go too crazy. Yeah. Uh, and it was, but that place was very cool. And, uh, I could have a sweatshirt from there. I mean, where it's on the bus. So, and Vandy won. So I was like, you know, I got to do it. I got to do it. Uh, uh,

But it was, yeah, that place was great. And then Cape Cod, the Melody Tent, it's in the round, which was nice. My special's in the round in Phoenix. So it was nice to kind of be able to do that before the special. And that crowd was so, I mean, all of them are just so pumped. It's been so nice. So, I mean, everybody that's come, you're the best.

You're the best. Did you make it to the Wilson County Fair? I did. Oh, you did? I did make it to the Wilson County Fair. Wilson County Fair is great.

I mean, if you're here in Nashville, go to the Wilson County Fair. It's awesome. I love a fair. Does Davidson County not have a fair? They used to have the Tennessee State Fair, but now they just joined with Wilson County. They just couldn't compete. Well, the county's just doing it right, you know? And so they're just like, look, we can have it. They have a Williamson County Fair. I've been to that one. And it's fine. It's fun. What makes the fair so great?

I like, that's my, all that fair food is like the best. Okay. I like a funnel cake. I'm into it. Funnel cake. I get the walking taco with, it's in the Frito bag. Right out of the bag, yeah. I mean, that's maybe my favorite thing I've ever eaten. And it's just very fun. It's all there in the bag. Funnel cakes, you know, the kids are riding the ride. You're going to watch them ride the ride. You're talking them into riding the ride. Like, you know, I don't know. Harper did good. She rode a lot of stuff that we didn't think she would ride. And,

and then all the nieces and nephews, they ride everything. So I think a fair is just, you know, it's a...

It's almost like maybe it's the last thing that doesn't feel corporate or something. Oh, yeah. I wonder if that's the feeling of it. Yeah. Because it's like... I mean, I know it's like sponsored, but it's not sponsored by, you know, Coke, Coca-Cola or something. It's sponsored by all the local kind of stuff. It's like run by the local stuff. It's like everything in the world has to be so...

Commercialized. Commercialized or like been perfect with rules and all this kind of stuff. And it's the last, affair is the last kind of like, it's a little loosey-goosey going on. Yeah, a little renegade place here. A little renegade. You don't know what's going on here. Yeah. Yeah. If anything's going to go wrong, it might go wrong out there. A lot of people on probation working at the time.

Fair. Exactly. Yeah. Well, my whole family works there. There you go. Exactly. That's why some loosey-goosey might happen because you never know. My sister volunteers, was there every day, loved it. They do it just for the free tickets to get in. Oh, yeah. Short of a 12-hour shift to get $5 off a ticket. But they love it. My mom won a car at the Wilson County Fair one year. Really? Yeah. All right. What kind of car?

Buick LeSaver. Okay. That's a fair car. Yeah. She had to choose. There was like five cars that different dealerships put up, and then they have a drawing, and they call her number the very first time, and thousands of people try to do this, of course, and she won. What year? This was like 10 years ago. I don't know. Does she still have it? She just got rid of it recently. Yeah. Okay.

I had a 1982 Buick, let's say, where I drove for a long time. Oh, wow. Yeah, big car. Did you lose something? Well, I lost my other car to a car accident, and then my mom just had this one laying around. Trailer. Y'all have multiple cars. Yeah, it was just... Took the cinder blocks out from underneath it. Yeah, you had to get the carburetor worked on. Is Trailer Park probably the most...

cars around there are a lot of cars yeah there is a lot of cars over here yeah a lot of moving well you got multiple people living in one trailer yeah and they all gotta but sometimes people don't have cars because they don't have a license so you'll just see them sitting around on their steps where do you park at where you park in the driveway yeah yeah or the you know the backyard anywhere on the grass yeah we didn't have a lot of grass we had a real sandy yard

Yeah. It's hard to mow a trailer park yard too, isn't it? Because of, again, you know. Because of a lot of trash laying around. More weed eating. Might kick up something. A lot of weed eating. Yeah, you can weed eat a yard. Yeah. Yeah, and you don't really need a lot of lawnmower. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You weed eat it. But also we had, you know, stuff lying about. Yeah. That you would, you know. Gnomes. Yeah, yeah. We had a sand, you know, during the Desert Storm War, I had a sand yard. So it was like really set up for all my Desert Storm army men that I had. I mean.

I mean, it was great. We had our own little thing going on out there, G.I. Joe's and bunkers. You would play to the war that was happening. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He'd reenact it. Yeah. So right now, this would be Russia, Ukraine. Yeah. You'd really be giving it a go.

Yeah, I mean, yeah. Oh, yeah. It'd be a great time out there. But I don't know. I don't know what the terrain looks like. That's true. I don't really know what Ukraine terrain looks like. Yeah. It's tough to say. Tough to build a city out of the terrain. It was easy when that one was... Yeah, because you're just sand. And I was like, well, I already got that going on. Yeah, yeah. My trucks are the same color as this. Yeah, yeah. It was really a lot of fun. I bet you hated when that war ended.

Yeah, I mean. Well, luckily it lasted for quite a while. So you got enough play out. Yeah, by the time it ended, I joined the Army. And I mean, I never got in, but I did join.

Did you join? I did join. Oh, did we talk about this? Oh, yeah. Did we? I think maybe a little bit. We didn't go into too much detail. Well, it goes well with the college episode of today, because after I dropped out of college, I joined the Army and then didn't get in. All right. Well, we're talking about it when we get to the college episode. What was it about the fair? Yeah, so you had that. Yeah, I was going to ask if you guys had ever won anything.

I mean, maybe not a car, but anything in general. You've been picked. No. No, I've never won anything like that. I was trying to think of if I had. Even a contest of free donuts? I didn't mean that because of you. You don't have to think so big. Those are all words that he used.

Have you won a free donut contest? You enter a lot of donut contests. You win a free donut contest with yourself and you just go buy the donut. You wake up every morning. You go, God, I'm all. I win. You go, you put your number behind your back. You go, one. You go, oh, free donut.

Have you won anything? I don't think so. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure I've won something, but nothing really comes to mind. Nothing so big that I was like... You know, I've done some scratch-offs here and there back in the day, and I might have won five bucks or so, but... How many times do you think you've been on the local news? Well, not...

I mean, for comedy, a few times. They never really featured me on anything growing up. It was a tornado that went through my dad's town, and my dad got on the news. Oh, that's funny. Yeah, so my dad got on there. It was a lot of fun. That's funny. His neighbor was on there crying, and then my dad was making fun of him a little bit. Oh, yeah.

He goes, come on. Give me a break over here. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, because my dad had insurance. That guy didn't have insurance. And that guy was crying about his fence. And my dad was like, hey, you know, you wouldn't tell me to lose something. That's a right attitude. Yeah, yeah. I like that attitude. Yeah. Yeah. Some stuff happens. Sometimes it doesn't. Yeah.

I was with Henry Cho Saturday in Crossville, Tennessee, and last night I was in Murfreesboro at New Vision Baptist Church doing Date Night with Brian Bates. Just for couples. Oh, what's that all about? It's just a couples thing. They're couples ministry, so I was performing. They called it Date Night with Brian Bates. Some people were really disappointed, but it was a fun night.

It was a fun time. Did you just stand up? Yeah. Disappointed because they wanted to go on a date with you and then they found out you were just doing comedy? Yeah. All right. So it was like a couple. So it was, yeah, like couples. So date night, like wife, husband come out. Mm-hmm. Yeah. To kind of launch their, I guess, couples ministry or something. Yeah. It was fun. Yeah, that's cool. I was in Tulsa, Oklahoma at the Looney Bin. Had a lot of people come out. That was fun. I wish I had a more interesting story.

The shows were all great. I was expecting some of them to be awful. I was sitting in the back dreading them. And they were all pretty nice. Some people got kicked out.

But that was before I got on stage. So it was smooth sailing for me. Oh, yeah. That's nice. Yeah, it was a great weekend. There you go. I'd like to say I was at the Looney Bin years ago, the Tulsa Looney Bin. And every time you take a shower or a bath, the condo would get all flooded. Oh, really? And I told the manager about it. He goes, yeah, that happens. Yeah. And so I asked Aaron. I was like, hey, was the floor still doing that thing? And he was like, yeah.

So for years, it's just flooding every weekend. So when you take a shower- There's a patch of carpet that's just wet. I mean, in the kitchen, it had circle, like the square tiles, and you would step on one, and water would come up from in between the cracks. So it's leaking from underneath somewhere. Yeah, I don't know what's happening, but-

I'm just shocked that that's still happening. Yeah. Is it a condo? Yeah. It's a house. How is it? It's not bad. Yeah. The house is not bad besides that. Yeah.

Besides probably, yeah, real structural damage to the house in that way. Mold and breathing that in. It is pretty nice. Other than that, it's a good time. Yeah. I went to Naples, Florida off the hook. It was great. I've heard a lot of people talk about that club in a negative way, but I had a great time. It was very fun. I enjoyed it too when I went down to Naples. Naples is a cool spot. I think it seems like older people go there and stay, but I think Naples is a great place to –

For retirement, you know. Yeah. And that's why it's, you know, a popular spot. Yeah, I mean, it's a weird mix of people. I mean, you got, you know, but it was great. I mean, the audience was like, one show was like very old. But that was one of my favorite shows of the weekend. I used to do a lot of shows for old people in Charleston, South Carolina. And so I like it.

if i see it's all old out there i just kind of like get into like grandson mode yeah you know like i'm like i gotta be respectful to these people yeah yeah right attitude to have yeah yeah i did a show with dusty this is a few years ago in egg harbor wisconsin for a bunch of old people yeah they were very old and dusty was not having fun i did not like them it was the least fun i've ever seen him have during a show and he gets to the point where he's gonna

do his merch pitch. And I'm in the back watching Dusty. He just picks up his shirt and looks at it and goes, nah. I was howling laughing in the back. That was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. I got off stage and the guy had my check. I don't think he was like, oh, I know you're upset. Here's your check. He just had it ready and I just grabbed the check and we beat people from the show out to the parking lot. I mean...

That's a funny one. That's a fun one that when you just get off stage and you're gone. I love the interaction. Like the whole night, everybody's kind of got their own separate. You all just want to get to the car and go. Yeah, we want to get out of there. The room was too well lit so you could really see people. So I could just see people not enjoying themselves. I didn't feel like it was a bomb, but it was like quick laughs and I just hated it. I don't know what it was, but...

I hated it. What's your hat? Aaron Webber's hat. Oh, this is the Augusta Pimento Cheese. Minor League team? Yes, they're a minor league team. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. That's their name? The Augusta Pimento Cheese? Well, these minor league teams do alternate jerseys with like a food that's relevant to the city. Okay. So I guess Augusta, Georgia. Pimento Cheese because of the Masters. Yeah, Pimento Cheese because of the Masters. Yeah. Pimento Cheese sandwiches. It's a lot of fun. Yeah, it's fun. All right. All right.

Let's start off with you guys' comments. Richard Gatling. Nate going on a rant about the gap year. Sorry, I'm doing the mic. Nate going on a rant about the gap year and then proceeding to change his mind is the reason I listen. This podcast was right on the money line. Boom. Boom. Yeah. Nailed it.

Linda Vedders. This was the most Nate way to do a college episode by not finishing it. Oh, yeah. Love that. That's a good little slam there. Yeah. There is no part two in real life. Dustin Gaddis. Just for the record, there's no such thing as a three-sided pyramid. That's interesting. I guess because it would be four-sided. Actually, it would be five-sided. Oh, okay.

One, two, three, four. I don't know. Did we say there was a three-sided one? Yeah, we kept calling it a three. We were talking about triangles, but we kept calling it a pyramid. Oh, okay. Which are two different things. That is true. Because there's no way for it to be three-sided. You could do three-sided. You could, but you've got to count the bottom, too. Well, that's the bottom. That's not really a side. Yeah, then what are we doing? Yeah, I mean, the side is the side, and then the...

Okay. That sounds like a college thing. Yeah, I think so. The people that built the pyramid, it's like, well, it's got three sides to it. Then someone that did nothing goes, technically the bottom's the side. Somebody coming in saying technically. Technically. Technically the bottom's the side. You go, okay. Well, only if it's turned upside down or flipped over. That's why that guy didn't have to carry any of the bricks because he's smart. Yeah.

Amy Copeland. Whenever Nate talks about his 17 on the ACT, I think about the quote, everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. There are many different kinds of intelligence, and you guys are certainly comedy geniuses. All right. Yeah. I appreciate that. Thanks, Amy. If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, you got to ask Fish that. So for you,

I'm climbing a tree is I'm the tree math and reading. No, I think I'm the tree and the fish is everybody else. And we're all trying to get to your level. Just completely misread the metaphor. So yeah, I'm the tree. I'm the tree. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. It's beautiful. Fish is math and reading and I'm the tree.

Amy's at home pulling her hair out right now. Like, no, you idiot. Amy, you're something special. Yeah. No, the tree would be the math and reading. If you judge me by that. Probably some other stuff. A lot going into that tree. Yeah, there's a lot in there. I think the ACT was right on the money. Yeah.

Hunter Grafe. The national average for the ACT is 20.3, not 18. I'd like to see Aaron actually score after a comment like that. Wow. Yeah, let's see the actual scores. Let's see some proof here. Let's see it. I have a hard time believing Hunter knew that number off the top of his head. He looked it up, found out the exact number, and then presents it as, you idiot, you didn't know. I also agree with that. Yeah, that's true, but I also did confidently say it was 18, and that was wrong.

Yeah, I bet he could think it was an 18. For sure. But then you got to look up the specific number. There's no way he knew it was 20.3. Yeah, but he's like, it's more than 18. What's the highest score? What did we determine? 36 is a perfect score. Okay, and the national average is 20, huh? Mm-hmm.

Good thing I didn't take it. Yeah. It's not meant for everybody. Yeah, I didn't even. I think it costs money to take. It does take. And I was like, oh, no, I'm not doing that. And a lot of these kids now, they're paying for, they're taking classes to learn how to take those tests. Oh, yeah. I never even got that. Neither one of my parents were like, you should take the ACT. Yeah. They were like, I don't think they knew what it was either. They were like, what, 40 bucks? Nah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I never took the SAT because I knew I wasn't leaving Tennessee. Because the SAT is for out of state, right? Oh, is it? I don't think I ever took the SAT either. I thought the SAT was something we took every year. I thought the ACT, I thought it was. I thought it was like your last two years or something. Wasn't the SAT like a Scantron? Multiple choice? That is a type of test. Standardized testing. Standardized testing. Scantron is literally the sheet of paper that

You fill out and then it reads it through a machine. You take the PSAT when you're a junior usually, the pre-SAT. And then senior year, you take the SAT. I feel like in middle school, we were taking an SAT of sorts. You can take the ACT in seventh grade. Yeah. You can take the SAT in seventh grade.

You can take the, a lot of kids will take the ACT in seventh grade to just like, I don't know why. Just to see where they're at. Just to see what's going on. Yeah. But those, those are just yearly standardized tests. Those aren't the college admissions tests. We had to take some aptitude tests one year. Uh,

we were all in the, uh, in the performing arts center of the school. And like the army was there for some reason. And they were like, yeah. All right. You don't have to take this test if you don't want to, but you have to come up here and sign a thing. And so this girl, I remember, uh,

Rebecca, she came up, she went up first, everybody cheered for her. She signed her name. And then like, just everyone started going down there and signing up. And then they were like, all right, all right, all right. Actually, you do have to take it. Like, I guess they didn't expect people to say no to it. Yeah. And then they were like, you do have to take it. So we all had to take it. And it was something to like, tell us what we're supposed to be or whatever. Do you remember what you got? I don't remember. I don't.

I was excited about it. I was like, oh, good. Finally some direction. Yeah. You get to know where you want to go. Yeah. But I don't know that anything came out of it. I think it was all like, you should join the army. Yeah. It leans to... It leans an army pretty heavy. Pretty heavy. Right. You have to do something spectacular to not get an army. Yes. When the army's the one doing it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You have to juggle.

Like if my dad went up there, he'd be like, I see a magician. Yeah. You're the only one. Because don't mention it. If anybody asks, say army, say we said army. Yeah. But get into magic. Kyle Yarber.

Aaron incorrectly identified Notre Dame as the first to perform a forward pass in a game. That's such a funny comment. I mean, he didn't provide any other details. It was literally just Aaron was wrong about this. I think he provided a screenshot where he Wikipedia'd it. I think Notre Dame was the first team to really perfect it.

Yeah, well, that's what we're talking about. But it wasn't the first game. Now, you said invented, I think, last week. These comments seem to really be coming at Aaron here. Yeah. There's a lot more. Well, listen. Yeah, you bring the education to the table, you know. It's like, did Henry Ford invent the automobile? No. But did he? I mean, yeah, kind of. He's the first guy to really do anything good with it.

That's what we are to the Ford. Yeah, Henry Ford probably killed a guy that invented the car. Well, isn't Tesla, that's like Tesla, whoever Tesla is. Tell us the truth, Dusty. What's going on? Well, I don't know. But, you know, whoever invents a thing never really gets the credit. Somebody comes on and goes, oh, that's cool. And then here's $10. Get out of here. And they whack you in the head. Yeah. And they steal your idea. Yeah.

Henry Ford, did he kill someone? Aaron, go ahead. He probably did. Notre Dame, actually a lot of Notre Dame's traditions are like that. Play like a champion today, which I'm sure you've heard of, that sign. We weren't the first school to do that. Who did that? It was Oklahoma, I believe. They had a play like a champion today sign. We took it and we made it iconic. That's what we do. Every good idea, take it. Take people's ideas and do better things with them. Jokes. Jokes.

Like jokes. Yeah. You don't have to waste your time creating. No, I do that. Yeah. You're marketing. That's right. Yeah. We don't create the product, but we will deliver it to the world. Yeah.

Who did this so no one knows the four-pass school? No, it was some very small school. I can't remember the name of it. It was SLU, St. Louis University. That sounds all right. And they don't even have a team anymore. So it's like, well, you know. Yeah. It's like if you steal the jokes from a comic who's died. Who cares? Who cares? Right. But they were still alive when they stole it. Wow. This is like two years later. That's why they killed themselves. Yeah. We can't go back in time. That's true. We have to live in the present. All right.

Maverick Pitchfork. Oh, that's a real last name. Even slew is like death in the past, right? We slew you. I don't think it is. It's like past tense of sleigh. You say that's the past tense of your last name? Yeah, they were slewed. They were slewed. Oh, they were slewed. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. All right. What happened to them? They were slewed. All right.

destined to be slewed with a name like that sounds better than slayed because what would you say they what happened they were slayed last night they were slain slain yeah they were slain oh that reminds me of remember 10 years when that family was slewn yeah i like that it's like that yeah uh maverick pitchfork just saw aaron in tulsa i bet it's a real name

Just saw Aaron in Tulsa. I thought it was hilarious when Aaron mentioned that he hosts a podcast with Nate Bargetti and didn't even mention Briarpatch.

Well, I think it's hilarious that Maverick didn't even mention Dusty. Yeah, it's true. Well, I'm trying to sell a shirt that says Aaron Land on it. And I said, has anybody heard of Nate Land? And one person woos. I'm not going to turn it around by going, well, Brian Bates is on it. Now have you heard of it? You do the Hulk Hogan. And everybody's like, all right, okay, okay. I was trying to figure out what Briarpatch was. That's me. Okay, yeah. He didn't even capitalize your name.

Yeah. He's a longtime listener, so. He did lay me out there. Matt Lazari. Dusty, with the best line of the episode, grants are just scholarships for being poor. Yeah. It is true, though. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, congratulations. Yeah. Like, all right, we know you can't help it. Yeah. Get in here. I like it. Yeah. Yeah, that is nice. And it's a good name, grants. Like, a grant sounds...

Good. I got like a half grant, you know, because I sent in my mom's W-2 or whatever. And then they wanted my dad's. And my dad, you know, he does better. But my parents are divorced and my dad was not going to pay. And I'm like, why do you want that? He's not helping. Yeah.

That's what my dad did to me. My dad goes, all right, I'll pay for half of your tuition. If you get in, you sign up, I'll pay for half. So I go, I went and got this Pell Grant that paid for half. And I told my dad, I go, hey, I got half. He goes, all right, will you come up? Now that you've got that grant, you come up with the other half of the remaining and then I'll pay that. So I was like, oh, I just came up with half. You keep coming down on the money. Do you really want me going to college? I mean, what's happening here? Yeah.

You figure it out. And then he, he, he saw through it. He's like, well, that's not your money. Yeah.

He should have said, I'll pay for it all if you finish it. I'll reimburse you. Yeah, well, he knew better. He knows his son. Angie. Nate, who filmed the pilot based on his life, said about the bodyguard, I just don't care about his life. Show me the bodyguard stuff. I don't want to listen to your phone calls with your wife while going to the grocery. Solid point. Yeah.

I mean, yeah. It makes sense. But I think it's like I want... It's when I want action. Yeah. I just want the action. Sitcoms are different. Yeah. I'm not putting sadness in my pilot that went nowhere. Carlin Holder. Nate would love to hear you talk about some of the people that were in your community college classes with you. I bet the money line that you had some funny interactions. I don't remember. My buddy P, Jeremy, he...

He went with me. To Vol State? Yeah. And our buddy Phil P. left Jeremy. His nickname's P. Just so if anybody hasn't heard that, let me say that. I remember one time, P. was always very on time. He wanted to be on time. And he was like, P. went to, it's who I lived with. I mean, we lived in Western Kentucky and all that. But one time, our buddy Phillip, he's meeting at our house, my house, and we would drive to Vol State.

And so P tells Phillip, he's like, be there at this time. And I mean, P would always, does that tell the story? No, it's funny, your car pulled into college. Oh, yeah. I don't know why. It's community college. All right. It's just funny to me. Oh, we'd go to college. We'd go hang out at my house after. We'd eat tostina pizzas when we got home. I mean, I love them.

And so Pete would always wear his watch upside down, like on the inside, so he'd look at that. And so he's like, we were leaving at 7.30 a.m., whatever, I'm making up time. And he goes, you got to be there at 7.30. And so...

I mean, P, it hits 730 and he goes, Phillip's not here. So we pull up my driveway and go to the stop sign, which is the next house down. And we see Phillip's car there. And then P just goes, well, I told him 730 and then just drove off. Wow. Yeah. And left him. And Phillip had to just laugh about it because it was just.

I mean, I was like telling P, I was like, he's right there, though. We just could wait one second. And he goes, no, he's got to learn. And then. So he just drove on his own the whole way? Yep. Yep. I love it. I kind of respect it, dude. Yeah. P set the tone. It's like the next week he would have been two minutes late. Then the next week would have been five minutes late. He saw it coming a mile away. And yeah, so he set the tone. This is when I would run shows in town. It was always the battle of like, do we start on time? Yeah.

Or do we wait until people are there? Yeah. And it's like, well, if you don't start on time, then the next time they know it starts late. And then they just keep getting there later and later. It's like, we got to just start on time. Yeah. And respect it. But you're talking about with comedians, open mics. Yeah. Yeah, showing up. Yeah, not like an audience. I mean, you're waiting for an audience, but. It's like, yeah, we got to start, even though it'll be a better show in 15 minutes. Yeah. We got to start right now so people will know.

Hey, the show will start on time. Don't reward the late audience members. Exactly.

I was doing a club though one time and it was so low. This was years ago. The attendance was so low and it was above a restaurant that the club was like, oh, there's a table downstairs that has, there's like 20 people. They have a reservation here at the club. We're going to wait till they're done eating to start the show. Yeah. Because they would made up so much of the audience. Yeah. And it was like, that's when you feel pretty unimportant. Yeah. Like we're, we're,

They're finishing up their meal, so we'll wait. And it's just like whoever. Yeah. You're like, oh, is that the mayor? You're like, no, no, we don't even really know who he is. Yeah. But he's got a lot of people. They have 20 tickets. They have 20 tickets. And that's going to make a big difference in this show. Yeah. And they know they won't start. Yeah, that's interesting. I tried running one open mic. It was the worst one in town at –

At the... The hotel? Yeah, I can't even think of the name. Maxwell House. Yeah, Maxwell House Hotel. Dusty came. Oh, I did come, yeah. Maybe once. I think Dad did. Did I do it? Your dad did it. Yeah. You stopped in once just to look at it. But... He walked in, looked around. I'll see you later, man. Yeah. Well, it was just me and Brian standing there. And there was always more comics than people in the audience. But we did a show once and there was nobody there. So we were done like after...

50 minutes and then this group of people came walking in they're like oh we're just here for the show and you guys are done so they sat down and we just did it again yeah everybody just started over we all did our sets again this time for an actual audience oh that's fun yeah yeah that's like a rehearsal yeah and then do the show yeah everybody bring everybody do the same material they bring it you bring it more yeah we didn't bring it much the first time yeah yeah

Alex Karnick, funner is not a word. I say funner. I probably say it all the time. Yeah, I don't think it's bad. I'm looking it up now. There are lots of historical examples of people using the word funner or funnest. Well, I think it's interesting that people, like who decides what a word is?

Well, I Googled, is funner a word? And the things I read said yes. I mean, who decides? If people are saying it, then it's a word. Yeah, but if it sounds, it does sound like it's not a word.

It sounds like saying Pacific instead of specific. Well, that's just completely incorrect. Supposedly instead of supposedly. But Pacific is still a word. I don't think those are good examples. I think they're pretty good examples where it's like, yeah, it just sounds bad. It sounds like saying schmanana instead of banana. Oh, yeah, I guess that is the same.

Like strategery, a word that you say at first funny and then it just becomes a real word? Strategery is a good example. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's not a real word at all. But over time it might become. Sometimes it's not more fun. It's funner. It's funner. Oh, interesting. You know what I mean? This is funner. It's not more fun. It's funner than more fun. Yeah. More fun than what? This is funner.

Yeah. You having more fun? I'm having a lot more funner. Yeah. If you mean this is funner, then yeah. Yeah.

I am having more fun. Here's what Merriam-Webster says. The fact that funner and funnest exist does not mean that you should use them without expecting that it will strike some people as peculiar. Ooh, name Alex Karnick. Yeah. So this is exactly... Alex does not care for it. It struck him as peculiar. Yeah. He sat there, he put his pipe down and goes, wait a second. Yeah. His glass is down.

It's monocle. Yeah. It's monocle. He's like, Bethany, come here. He called his wife in. They rewind the record player. He somehow has this podcast on a record player. On vinyl. Yeah, on vinyl. I don't even know how, but Alex is crushing it. And he goes, sit with me for a second. Because did they just say funner? I found that word peculiar.

Is that how you say peculiar? Peculiar. That's peculiar. If you write them in a term paper, expect to receive disappointed size and underlined corrections in equal measure from your teacher.

This is an interesting thing. They're saying, look, it is right, but it sounds like it's wrong, so just pretend it's wrong. Yep, that's how we got where we're at. Living in a world of make-believe out here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just don't cause trouble. Just do what it, just do what, that's like, that'd be a teacher that just is like, I don't, just do what it says on the paper. I don't care. Yeah. And if you went and said, but it says in this that we can use that word.

They'd be like, I don't know. And they're like, listen, you can, but people will think it's peculiar. And don't tell them you took my class. Yeah, and don't. And you go, all right, well, I'm not having any more fun anymore. This is not my funnest class. Yeah, yeah. I wish you were funner. That's what I would say. Yeah. I wish you were funner. Okay, that's enough. Ezra Lerner.

With the college football season here, I was curious which parts of Tennessee roughly root for Vandy versus UT versus Memphis in addition to three schools' home cities? What? I think he means – addition is not the right word there. I think he means like regarding like Tennessee – I mean Nashville, Memphis, Knoxville. Yeah. Well, Tennessee is probably the most. By far. By far. Yeah, for sure. And then I would say Vandy's second.

Over Memphis? Yeah. But I don't, I would think so. Yeah. I went to, I was, grew up a Vandy fan. I couldn't get into Vandy because of the money or the grades. So I went to MTSU, had a great time. And I want to mention this shirt. Some folks run Lightning's Locker Room, the bookstore at MTSU. They sent me this shirt about two years ago. And so they probably either don't work there or stopped listening to the podcast, but I want to thank them for sending this to us.

But everyone at MTSU when I was in college was a Tennessee Vols fan. It drove me crazy. I'm very supportive of whoever the home team is. I'm like, come on, guys, we're MTSU. And they're like, nah, we're Tennessee fans. They would wear Tennessee stuff. So growing up, I was just a Vandy fan and I was the only one because I didn't know Nate at the time. Then I went to MTSU. Everybody's still a Tennessee fan because that's when they were really good.

I was there when late 80s. Yeah. 82, 84, solid season. Yeah. Yeah. 82 to 84. Exactly. When I was dating a lot. Yeah. Now, I was there right before Peyton, when Tennessee was really good. Heath Shuler, remember him? Yes. Yeah. Johnny Majors. Yeah. Yeah. So who was – I know Vol State had a serial killer. Did anybody else famous come from Vol State? No.

I googled famous people from Vol State and just had your picture. Does it? Yeah. Not just you, but... I don't know. My buddies all... I mean, a lot of them played baseball. Their baseball team was very good. I think Billy Wayne Davis played at Vol State, didn't he? Baseball? Yeah. Yeah. What is this? A student? Yeah. I mean, it isn't even... Where did you see me? It wasn't Wikipedia. It was just famous people from Vol State. Under images. Under images.

famous people would well was there one that just said famous people who attended Vol State right there where the one in the middle no this is community college did you know what I'm saying Brian no I can't read yeah well I found it who was the most Dolly Parton she went to severe she went to a community college it looks like maybe not no I don't know if she did a lot of famous people did go to community college I looked that up

Yeah, I would imagine. Yeah, because that doesn't work out and then you're like, well, I'll try something else and then fame works out. Yeah, you could almost say most, I wonder if there's more famous people that went to no college or a community college. I would think so. Because you got to go, whatever you're trying to do to become successful, you got to start it soon. We say most famous people are actors.

Yeah. More athletes. The highest concentration, yeah. Yeah, but you wouldn't count athletes because that's like a lot of them go to college to play. So that's... Yeah, but a lot of them, you know, baseball right after high school, a lot of them don't go to college at all. Yeah, but I'd imagine way more go to college. Probably. Probably.

These actors never go to school, though. Yeah. So they don't even go to school when they're kids, basically. Well, Ruth went to Stanford, and she has a yearbook, which we never had in college, but her freshman year yearbook. And her freshman class was, I was flipping through it, Tiger Woods, Reese Witherspoon, Fred Savage, the kid from Who's the Boss? I can't remember his name.

The guy from the show This Is Us. It's like a who's who of- Wow. Just people in her freshman class. Wow. That's amazing. So maybe they do. I don't know. Danny Pinturo. Yeah. Danny Pinturo. Either Harold or Kumar. I think it's Kumar. Oh, okay. One of those guys. Yeah. Hmm. Wow. All right. Big time. So this is-

Our first announced we were going to announce too. Part two. I think so. Did people like part one? Yeah, they loved it. They loved it. They liked your gap year take. All right. They liked you taking up for the common man. That's what we're here to do. We're the common man. Well, they didn't say you were, but they appreciate you taking up for it. I'm the common man. The greatest average American. The greatest average American. Yeah.

That's what, I don't know what else to tell you. Really great John Conley song too, by the way, Common Man. Oh, yeah. I don't know that one. It's the best. I got to name my new special, and I don't know what to name it. Oh, that's fun. Didn't your Greatest Average American came from a riff on this podcast, right? Yeah, I've said it, yeah, but it was on this. I've said it before, like just, like I've always like jokingly said it, but it came from this podcast. Yeah.

So, but it's like, I like the, you know, before it was like the Tennessee Kid. It's the greatest average American. So it's like, it's almost like, I'm not doing it from a joke from my special, but it's like describing like,

Oh, this is who we're watching. Right. And that's what I like. So you went from Tennessee to America. You got to go world this time. Or at least continent. Yeah. At least, yeah, North America. North America's funniest dude. North America's, yeah. The funner dude. The funner dude. The most funner. One of the funner dudes in North America. Yeah, yeah. But I feel like it's got a...

Yeah. I don't know. It's hard. It's kind of a fun problem though. Yeah. Right. Yeah. To think of what's a name you're special. I don't know. Yeah. A lot worse to have a bunch of names and no specials. Yeah. And you're like, I can name them. You don't know what problems are. Yeah.

You think you got it hard. I wish I had your life. I didn't have to worry about where my special's going to go, my third hour special, Aaron. God, I didn't have to name it if I was just sitting like you. Just easy breezy, no specials on the books. Not a care in the world over there. God, that'd be nice and easy. Yeah. But, yeah, it's got to be the Tennessee kid. Yeah, I mean, I like both of them. But it's got to be, you know, it's like along those lines, I don't want it to be exactly that.

So I don't know. Maybe someone has an idea. Yeah. I'm sure we'll get some ideas in the comments. But you got to think, the Tennessee kid, the greatest average American. I don't want to be arrogant. It's like the greatest average American is funny to say that. But I don't necessarily want to go down that road again. Exactly that. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, so something along those. I've been around the county. Yeah. You know. Maybe scale it down. Go backwards. The county fair. Yeah. The king of the county fair. That would be, feels like a U title. Yeah. Explorer of the county. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember Tennessee kid. We were just really looking at Nate. And before then.

I don't think I knew any specials that didn't have some reference to a joke in it. So every name, at least I was coming up with some reference to one of your jokes. Yeah, I thought about that. But it's like I haven't done it, so I kind of don't want to. And I like it just being maybe it's the state of mind or it's the whatever it is.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. All your titles have been great. I mean, Yelled At By A Clown and that photo. That's a good one, yeah. It was so great. Yeah. Those were from the jokes, Full Time Magic. Full Time Magic, yeah. Those are both from the jokes. But then it was like when Netflix was good at switching with, they're trying to make someone click on it. They won't know what they're... So it's like, all right, why am I clicking this? It's Tennessee kids like, okay, it's a guy from Tennessee, whatever. The Greatest Average American is...

It kind of says it in the title what it is. You know, what you're like, oh, you can kind of guess what it's going to be about. And so that's what this would be. It's great for SEO, too. If you type in Tennessee comedian, it's like it's you and nobody else. For what? SEO? Search engine optimization. Yeah.

Computer speak. Yeah. I mean, it gets deep in there. Do people say that? SEO is a pretty common one. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Common among a circle of people. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not in those circles. Are you in those circles anymore? A lot of my friends are not SEO. I think so. People are saying SEO in your world now. SEO is important for like in our world, in our industry. SEO is important, you know?

Yeah. If I type in, I want to come up on Google. I want to rank pretty high on Google. Well, you type in Tennessee Comedian and see who comes up. Well, yeah, let's do Tennessee Comedian. I bet it's five pages of Nate and then maybe Dusty. I'd just like to see if I even come up at all. I hope it's me. Please let it be me. Yeah. I mean, you literally come up on the right. Yeah. Nate Bargetzi, American Comedian. Got the whole state. American Comedian. It's all Nate.

What if I'm just that? I'm the American comedian. That's the title, American comedian. And they go, what's it about? You go, he's an American comedian. Yeah, your SEO is crushing it.

Hey, you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm getting into it. Yeah. Yeah, just call it SEO. SEO. Call it. Yeah, yeah. You'll be number one everywhere. I've heard Andrew Santino saying on podcast, he tried to name his first album Taylor Swift. Yeah. But they wouldn't let him do it. But he wanted just to be Taylor Swift. So when people Googled Taylor Swift, his album would come up. Yeah. I feel like he would still get drowned in the search results for Taylor Swift, though.

Probably. Yeah. That's how I think Barenaked Ladies, that's why they named themselves that. So they would put that on a billboard just to get people to come in.

Oh, yeah. Bare Naked Ladies Tonight at the bar. I think with all that stuff, though, you still have to have an act. Sure. It's just a bunch of disappointed people. I always have a weird balance. There's a weird balance that you do want people to do it, but it's like if anything starts feeling like a trick, then kind of back out and then go do another thing. That's what I believe. Yeah. Because it's like you can get a road down to tricks where you're just, and then you're only thinking of like,

Kind of like, how can I get people to come to this? And then whatever you're creating starts creating for that. And well, then now you're creating. Now you've messed your own self up. Because now you're only going down this path of going trying to get views. That's why I understand you want views and you want videos and all this, but your mind can't just completely go to that.

Because then it's like you're in... Yeah, because if it's clickbait and then the video's not good, you've just tricked people into watching a bad thing. And now they're mad about it. Yeah. They've been tricked. But sometimes the clickbait can be good. I mean, look, that Mr. Beast, like they said, he does clickbait, but he actually does it. And so that's different because it's like he's doing something that looks like a clickbait, but then you watch him do the thing that is. Yeah.

But I mean, I'm just saying like creating, I always think of it as comedy. It's not that you need to be aware of that. You need to do stuff like that. But, you know, like Dane Cook did it, like MySpace, he was just everywhere. But he just put his videos up and was everywhere. It's not like you don't, I'm saying don't put videos. It's just, it's the creating of the material. You got to think if your mind is creative, so you're going to be able to create wherever you go.

and you just don't want to spend all that because it's that becomes i i think you're chasing views and then you're like and then you just end up down this road and then you're like all right you're not where i mean unless you want to do that i'm saying do that but if it's a slippery slope i think yeah you want people to watch because they like what you're doing yeah not because they were searching for taylor swift and found your album yeah

I mean, I don't know. I was going to name mine Katy Perry. I think it was mostly just a joke. No, Santino's great. I'm not upset with him. No, I'm not talking about that. I'm not talking about Santino. I think he was joking. I'm just saying in general, I think it's... I think it's, I don't know, short-sighted of your career. Not you, but in general. I think people that...

Go that way. It can be very short-sighted. I mean, it's a fix. It's a high. You're going like, wow, this one's got a bunch of views, and then you're chasing those views. And then you're creating stuff for your stuff you create is to make someone just look at it for a second and scroll by. Well, now there's too much of that. So no one's really grasping onto that.

If you have an act, though, I mean, if you're going to do it at least and you can get people in the door, that act better be something. Yeah. And then it could work. But I think a lot of people don't have an act. They get that and they go see them live. It's like, well, this is not what I wanted.

And, you know, I don't know. Sometimes I think people don't even know what they want, though, and then they just want the picture. If someone's famous on the internet, they'll sit through whatever just for the picture so they can post it on the internet and get their likes for being with a person that's famous on the internet. Oh, yeah. You know? Yeah. Well, there's a lot more commentary about famous people now, I feel like, than famous people. Like, that field is, there's a lot of, like,

I mean, you look at everything, but all media, the media is so big now. And all it is is about talking about people that are actually doing things. So it's like, it was almost like,

People that want to go up and be, you know, there's going to be journalists that want to be true journalists. I understand that. But it's like in general, like the, you know, somewhat the mainstreamish kind of thing is like, well, we're all just like want to, you're almost like, it's easier to go. Well, it's easier for me just to talk about famous people because everybody wants to hear

like someone's opinion on something. So that's a much easier route to take. And then you can become famous. That's the thing with SportsCenter. SportsCenter was like, that's why it just got like, you're like, all right, these dudes are famous. Yeah. And they're, you know, and like they go do an interview. Well, the energy is different because now they don't feel like they're interviewing an athlete. It feels like they're just being like, I'm more famous than you are. And then you're like, well, I don't even, then who cares about your opinion? Like you're not,

Giving this guy's... Like going on morning radio or something, and sometimes people are really great. And other times it feels like the radio host is trying to out-funny you. And it's like, I'm just here to try to promote a show. I'm not trying to take your job. Just chill. Let me be funny for a second. One of the first radio interviews I did, the guy just goes, all right, so what comedians do you hate?

I like everybody, man. I don't want to just trash somebody that I could maybe meet one day. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's very negative. Yeah. And it's your, you know, I get it.

I mean, I guess, yeah, I don't know. That's like just straight up like, look, I'm just trying to get something. His own clickbait. Right, yeah. Aaron Webber hates these comedians. Yeah. But that's what I mean. And if you go that route, that's where it ends up. Everything has to be.

You just get to a point where you bluntly ask the question. You know, you're like, I'm not going to... Like, Howard Stern was, I feel like, very good at that. It's different now, but when he was doing interviews and when it was like a while ago, he was very good at like...

getting the headlines, but he would get it in a normal way. It's like he would interview and then he would talk about something crazy with the celebrity and he'd go back out, not talk that crazy. Then he would act like the interview's over. Yeah. And then he goes, well, we got to wrap it, you know, and then that's when more crazy would come. But it was like, that was, that's like where it should be done. And now there's a lot of bluntness now with social media, with internet. There's just like, I want, you know, look at all the videos of,

Just trying to get reactions or like, you know, the guy that isn't there a guy that goes up and like hits people or something or there's all kinds of those guys like that kind of thing. Those pranksters where they're like, no, there's a camera. You're just going up and hitting people like we've gotten to that point. We used to have prank shows to now. It's like, well, that's physically assault someone.

And then if they go try to fight me, I act like they're crazy because I'm filming it. Yeah, there's a guy that goes up and makes weird noises in people's ears in the store. Yeah, I don't like it. Yeah, it's so weird. I mean, that's not even, you're rewarding just arrogance. Like the arrogance that someone will go do that and be like, I'm crazy.

And that, you know, eventually we're going to start watching people jumping off cliffs. You can watch people, I'm going to set myself on fire and die. And you're like, all right. Like, I mean, what are we doing? Like, there's no entertainment at all. It's just kind of like the shock value. That's the whole idiocracy thing. That movie where you get to that place where it's like, you're just sitting in a chair and just watching the dumbest,

I mean, we're there. Oh, we're at that point. But luckily, that's why I think when you go out and you have an act, the country is not like this. Everybody's a normal person. Every city and state I go to, I can't go to any more. I don't want to go to Alaska. But it's like I've been to so many for 10 years, and all these people, and they're all different, political views, different, whatever. Yeah.

everybody just wants to have a good time and laugh and then move on with their life. That's it. No one needs to be, I don't need to be in like, they're not coming to me to be like, what moves should I make or what, whatever. It's like, I can't tell you what to do. Like, I don't even know what I'm doing half the time. So, but it's, it's, it's gotten to that level, you know, where it's like, I don't know. People are making like 10 second videos and you're like, well, I don't want to wait. They don't want to waste their time.

So if I'm setting up a prank show, I don't want to go. You know, it's a long thing. If you watch the old prank shows, I mean, it's probably a very long day. It's like, well, I don't want to do that. What can I do? Well, I'll just go hit someone in the face.

I can go do 12 of those today, and then I'm going to get a bunch of views. That's a season, right? That's a season. How long did it take? 18 minutes. Even when TikTok went from one minute to three minutes, I was like, I don't have time for this. I mean, people are just singing songs. They're lip singing or they're doing the comedy bits on there. I mean, there's actually no incentive to create something.

It's just like find something you like that someone created. And I mean, even the world of creation, music, you know, I mean, music getting written by who knows what. But all the guys that there's people writing these songs and they're just like they go give it to this person. That person sings it.

And it's like, oh, it's emotional. And you're like, I mean, someone, it's emotional because a regular person wrote that. Someone that's not famous and lived, that's why the song is so good. And they've really tuned in on how to make it sound emotional. Yes. And then they go and then they just find, you know, it's like they find a robot that's like, well, here's this person. You're like, all right, you sing that. And I mean, those are the songs I like. I'm not better than these people. Like, you know, I get it. It's like, I get, I'm entrapped in all this kind of stuff. But you see it to where you got to go.

You want to start... That's right. I've really... Originality is like the older I've gotten. And I've been doing that for a while. It's like you just want someone that's like original. Yeah. And I know it's like, well, hitting a guy in the face is original. You're like, but that... I mean, it's not. It's... You know, if you don't have the time to go...

I don't know. There was a Justin Bieber song one time that was pretty popular and it was like something like my mama don't like you and she likes everyone. And it's like it had this real acoustic kind of vibe to it. And it felt like, but it's like, listen to that. I'm like, I don't even think about Justin Bieber having a mom.

much less his mom meeting his girlfriend. Do you know what I mean? Like he obviously has a mom, right? But it's like, he's just such a musical machine that's been out for so long that it's like listening. I'm like, I don't even think about, it's not believable to me that Justin Bieber is introducing this girl to his mom and his mom doesn't like him. You haven't humanized him enough in your mind to imagine his family. Right, exactly. I mean, this could be on me, but I'm just saying when I listen,

It just seems emotionless. It seems like they've manufactured soul to go into songs to where you're like,

Like, it doesn't really have soul to it, but it feels like it has soul. Yeah. I think you need to see Bieber live, dude. Yeah. You're going to feel that soul. Okay. I bet it's awesome. Yeah. I saw him at the Grammy. It's not just about Justin Bieber. I mean, in general. It's general. Yeah. Look, there's enjoyment is enjoyment. Right. I'm going to enjoy this stuff. That's why you're going to enjoy it. You can go to Disney World. You can go eat candy. These things are obviously enjoyable.

I like them. And they're in Justin Bieber is, would be a technically a phenom in that world of like, if you're going to write stuff and give it to someone, well, you magically found a person that's perfect for it. And that's why his career has lasted as long as it's us. Justin Timberlake, just like these, these people can, I'm not saying that, I don't know. They might write all the songs. I have no idea. I don't even listen to words of songs. So I like a lot of songs that are just like, kind of like fun. And yeah, I don't need, I, you know, I, I don't,

Taking songs like that just because I'm an idiot. There's a class this year at the University of Texas, college, call back there, studying Taylor Swift songs. That's what the class is. Wow. Looking at her songs. College seems great. Yeah, I mean, what is that about? I think it might be some type of literature thing.

poetry class and they're analyzed. I saw a picture of, you might scroll down, it might be in that article. I can't remember. It's, it's, there's I think one guy in there, but yeah, Swifty. I would take that class. Yeah, I would too. Cause I mean, I could pass it. It's, I mean, you were just seeing the songs and like, I don't, you know, it's like. The class will focus mostly on songs from Swift's recent albums, but students are free to bring up older songs for discussion.

The Bob Dylan of our time. Yeah. Well, this is a nice little detail. With most of the lyrics posted online and the songs available on Spotify, students don't have to buy music for the class. Oh, that's nice. You don't have to buy textbooks or anything. All the literature is out there, you know? It'll address topics such as gender, fans influence. Well, you could argue, I mean, it is equally ridiculous to focus a class around the poetry of Shakespeare. Yeah.

As it is, you know, the poetry of Taylor Swift. I mean, who are we to say that's true? I disagree though. Why is that? Well, I don't know. He's older. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he stood the test of time. I mean, look, Shakespeare wrote that stuff on his own. Does Taylor write? She writes her own stuff. I mean, look, the way songwriting works now is it's, it's very collaborative with a lot of people. I would almost say in the class, it would, I don't know. If it's a study of the,

fascination of her. Like, you know, maybe that. Like, it's like how she's gotten so big. I mean, I, you know, I like Taylor Swift. I like to, along her own stuff. Says she writes her own music and lyrics and they can use similar techniques from classic poetry. Yeah, it's, I'm going to tell you something. That's a, it's a very younger thing to do. As an older, as getting older, and I've listened in, uh,

you know i watch like something led zeppelin like are the you know it's like i just start going back to those stuff and i don't know everything about that or knowing derrick trucks and seeing you know tedeschi and trucks and what they do yeah and you're like it's different it's they they're doing something that's way that's like uh art artistic is different and i i like those i'm not i i like i'm not hating on taylor swift yeah she writes i'm a giant taylor swift fan i uh

I can sing a lot of her songs. I like the song Shake It Off. I think that one's a lot of fun. I wouldn't be against this class. I wouldn't have guessed that. Shake It Off, I think, is the only one that I really like, but I do like it. It would be, if you're studying art, it's not about celebrity or fame. It's like, I don't know. But see, that's what I mean. This class is even, this is what I'm talking, like this class is just talking about someone that created something. And then like, instead of like,

Maybe at the end you have to write your own song. Yeah, it would be like there's no. I like that. And then you submit to Taylor Swift, and if she covers it, then you pass. Yeah. Otherwise you fail. I think it's like, what are you going to do with this? Well, I think it's about examining a creative person, examining how they do what they do.

And then learning about their process. And then, then ideally you apply those things to create your own stuff. What's that bottom sentence say her goal is.

Scala self-described Swift fan and her set her goals to teach literary traditions through a contemporary lens. She says, I want to take what Swift fans can already do at a sophisticated level, tease it out for a bit with a different vocabulary and show them how, in fact, Swift draws on richer literary traditions in her songwriting, both topically, but also formally in terms of how she uses references, metaphors, and clever manipulations of words. Yeah. Yeah.

I think comedian would be better. A comedian? You could do this too. Well, hey, look, they do a Nate Bargetzi class. I'll defend it. They do a Nate Bargetzi class at Vanderbilt? I mean, how awesome would that be? I'll defend it all day long. Yeah, of course. I'll be like, we are out of your mind. I'll flip-flop in a heartbeat. But comedians, our words are way more important.

I mean, if you're- Well, the words in a song are pretty important too. Words are all that matter. I don't even know the words of songs. I have no, like I can sing the songs of the words and I couldn't tell you. Now, it could be because mentally something is wildly wrong with me, but I can sing all these Taylor Swift songs. I don't know what they're about. They don't soak in on me and I love it. And that's not Taylor Swift. That's

Stairway to Heaven. I don't know what this stuff is about. I don't, and I can sing parts of it. November Rain. I don't, I just, it does not...

I don't think of it like that. I'm just enjoying the sound. But would you enjoy the song as much if instead of lyrics, it was just her going la, la, la, la, la, la in the same melody? Some songs I like just do that. They go, I don't know. There's some new songs, you're like, they're not even saying words. Yeah, there's some Beatles songs out there that are like that, where they almost don't even really say anything, and it's great. But if they studied the Beatles, people wouldn't.

they wouldn't trash it. So I do agree with your, if they, if they Shakespeare, the Beatles, or I mean, you know, I do understand that. So I'm, I'm not against it because it's like,

you know, if I'm older than Taylor Swift, you're like, well, in 40 years of you see a Taylor Swift class that you might be like, well, that's very, that's smart that they do that. So I'm not trashing the idea of the class people coming up. That lady came up with an idea. I just think mentally a lot of people are learning stuff and being, you're learning and being trained to not, it's like to talk about stuff that's already been done instead of being like, how do you, it's like, just do something. I say this a lot. Like,

on our work, like the stuff that we do, not y'all, but like with, you know, with the people that work with us now, because, you know, my sister and I, but I'm like talking about like, just do it. Like it's, there's a lot of, well, we could try that, but I don't think this is going to work. And that time, but you go, then just do it. If you do it and then we see it doesn't work, then we have an answer.

But there's a lot of just talking. You can talk yourself out of even trying because you go, well, how's that even going to be possible? If we try to say we want to do these crazy lights on the stage, I think it'd be blind people in the eyes. Do we know it would blind people in the eyes? Are you just saying I think it would? Blind people in the eyes then. Yeah.

These people need to suffer. And I want the audience to go, he's a blind and mighty. We're not doing this with any lights at all. This is just, I'm trying to think of an example on the fly. But it's do it. Just do it. And then that was the diet thing that I have to finally accept. Well, I can tell you a million reasons why I don't want to do it or why I don't. If you're not honest with yourself, just do it. And if you do it, there's your answer.

Well, that's what's great about comedy is with comedy, you go on stage and you know whether it's funny or not right away. You don't need to study it. You go up and you do it. If they don't laugh, then it's not funny.

Yeah, it's the words. That's what's fun about it because it's like you're – like now with my set because we're so close to taping, it's like the set is there and I'm messing with the little words here and there and I'm learning. There's one part where I would say stranger and now I say guy. And guy works better and it's crazy. Yeah. And it's just – guy is funnier. Like I just hit – I say stranger one other part in my act too.

But I was like saying it these other two spots and then I just changed it to guy. And, and it's at the end, it's a joke. That's it's not the closer, but it's second to last joke. And I say guy now, and it just gets a, you know, it is amazing. I still got to mess with it a little bit. What a one word or a little, just a flip or adding a word, taking out a word, what it can do to a joke. It is. I mean, I've told jokes for a long time and then just change it up one time, not even really thinking about it, but I just change it up in a weird way. And it,

gets a much bigger laugh and i'm like oh i've been doing this joke a different way for a long time and all it took was that little tweak yeah it's awesome yeah opens everything up yeah yeah i'm saying they should study comedians yeah it is it's super fun comedians in general words matter so much i think there's no there's no i mean i just think i think there's nothing to hide behind

It's like all we have is our words. So you have to paint it and every word has to perfectly be placed. You can't, it's beautiful. Even like messing up your timing in a show, you can mess up one timing on a joke and then spend, you know, the next few minutes like trying to get back on track from where you're like,

You know, I don't know. I've gone out and stumbled on a couple of jokes in the beginning and then be like, oh, man, I got to get it together. I got 59 minutes and 30 seconds to go here, and I'm already messing up. Sometimes you got to just get out of that joke and just be like, that joke's got over. Start anew. Here's a second joke. And then all this has got to be on the fly, which is fun. Many times I've gone, listen, that joke's not going anywhere. Let's just settle in here. Forget about it. Move on. Yeah.

Yeah, I've done that too where it's very fun. You go there and you – I'm trying to think. I feel like I had something this weekend. Or I'll forget if I said something to set something up properly. And then I'm like, I don't know if I set this up. I forgot one part that sets up the next part. So it's a matter of am I going to repeat it or am I going to not repeat it? And you've got to decide right then. And some of you are just like, let me just –

I'm going to just not repeat it because maybe I said it and maybe people get it. And maybe it doesn't get the laugh I know. And I'm like, I bet I didn't say it. But then I got to stay in the rhythm to get into the next joke. I've forgotten a joke midway through and been like, we'll come back to it. And then I try to remember it. And then later in the set, come back to it. Sometimes that's gold. Do you tell the audience that? Yeah. And other times I'll come back to it and do it. And then I go, was it worth it?

Yeah, maybe. That's like one of those things. Yeah, exactly. That stuff always works, or it doesn't always work, but it is. It's great when you can do it. But that's another one. People, you can sometimes see comics, they build that stuff into their act. Yeah. And then you're like, well, that's not good. Right. Don't build it into your act. Yeah, don't fake it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you doing there, bud? Sorry.

I think I broke something. You got bored? But I didn't. It's all good. Just making loud noises. Just making loud noises attached to the mic. My apologies. Yeah, yeah. That's all right. Went to college. Go ahead. So the big thing that happened the day this college episode came out was the tuition forgiveness that happened this past week. So I looked up... Mike, credit the podcast.

Maybe so. For making that change. We got the ball rolling. We got the ball rolling. Yeah. And with that Pell Grant, you get even more. So congratulations, buddy. Maybe I can get some of that. Wait, he gets paid back from a Pell Grant? Doesn't Pell Grant do that? Do you have student loans right now? No. I was just being funny. No. That cost me 500 bucks 20 years ago. Yeah. I don't know how you had it financed, man. I don't even know. Well, how do you get a Pell Grant? You just call the Pell Grant office? I don't remember what I did, but you submitted, yeah. Yeah. Pell Grant.

Pell Grant office. Hello. Hello, Mr. Grant. It's Pell Grant. Mr. Pell. Hello. Is this Pell? This is Nate Bargetzi. I'd like to go to a volunteer state, and I was told I need one of your grants. And he goes, I grant it. Thank you. No money. He just grants it. I would like your grant that I want to try college. He goes, I grant it. I want to try college. Then you just tell the college. They go, all right, we'll take this money off. I called Pell. He granted me. He said I could do it. And they go, all right.

All right, we'll take a word for it. Get in there. It's all on the honor system. It's all on the honor system. I even think tuition forgiveness, it sounds weird. It's like, we forgive you for the mistakes you made. Yeah. We were talking about it the other night, and then it was like, what if you did, instead of student loan debt, it was like, get rid of people's medical debt. Much better. Much better, right? Yeah. And then it's...

Like if you did that, that would be much – it's like I feel better about that because you're like a lot of people, that's not – it's like stuff happens to people and they don't choose it. And if someone was like, well, I live healthy, why would I do it? I'd be like, that's my same theory with college. Like I made it without college, so why am I paying for your college? Right. It's the same kind of idea and at least you're helping –

People that really like, I mean, medical debt, dude, people, it's nuts. Totally. They get just bombarded and bombarded. But you can make the same argument that these student loans are predatory in the same way. They're predatory in the same way, but the...

The predatory, I'd imagine, in student loans attacks people that are going to make more of a living and more... You'd hope so. You'd hope so, but a lot of them don't. But like, with medical... But I mean, if people are going to Stanford, if you go into all this stuff, you have these crazy loans. Right, well, those people are... People are going... College is at least a positive thing. Medical stuff can be like... It's just the world was very unfair to you. And you go to that... And you got handled a bad situation. And so then you're just... You just...

are in debt to a hospital. Right. And you have no choice. College is still a choice. You still get to choose. You don't get to choose if you get hit by a car. So that person should not be like, go help those people out. Like the people that, you know, and then you want to, it's like, those are the people that need the actual, like, but I couldn't, I think people would get behind that to be like, if that money's going to helping these families, you know, then like, you know, that are like their kids get,

you know you have all this these children hospitals and all this stuff and you're like those things do benefits and those do you have to raise money on stuff you're like why is money not going to that like who doesn't want to go help these kids that are born with this stuff like everybody wants to so send the money to that you may go send it to the guy that's voting the guy that i've got to pay his student loan debt that's in that's in the you know government yeah that guy you're like he

He's like, I think you should do student loan debt. You're like, that's for you and your kids? And you're like... He's like, yeah, isn't that better? And you go, but what about... That guy was hit by a bowling ball weird. Should have been staying in there. He goes, well, why was he in a situation with a bowling ball? I go, because...

Poor people are around bowling balls more. Poor people are in bowling alleys. They're way more around bowling balls. Yeah, for sure. Less income, the more you're around a bowling ball. That's true. Isn't it interesting? My mom was on a bowling league. The wealthier you get, the smaller the ball is. That's interesting. Golf? Yeah. Yeah, it's like golf. That's true. The ball's pretty small. Yeah. The poor people, beach balls. Yeah. That's all they got. Beach balls, bowling balls. Jump castles. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That feels like a ball. Yeah. It's inflatable. Yeah, you go, the rich, the wealthy lives in a castle. The poor, theirs is always inflatable. Get to go to a friend's house who has a jump castle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. But with doctor stuff, you know, you go to the doctor. A lot more trampoline accidents. Yeah. Because you're like, well, you're never going to be able to afford to fly, so we will give you the opportunity to visit it for a couple seconds. Two seconds. Two seconds.

You got to come back down. No pads in the springs. How many times over? A hundred times over. Yeah. But if you mess up, you will go to the hospital and owe money for the rest of your life to this hospital. There you go. There you go. They give you stuff that's going to hurt you worse. Yeah. That's true. Because they know deep down. Because they know deep down you're never going to get out of that.

I mean, these people have like, and I get like their diets are not good, but then you're like, well, they don't have a fair chance. Because if you don't have money, well, you don't get to go to a nice restaurant. You have to go to these. It's called Food Islands.

It's called food islands. What's that? When you're in an area that only has bad food and there's nothing good around you, so you have no choice. There's no whole foods. You got a Dollar General. No organic food in the grocery store. Which sends them more into where they have to go to the doctor and hospital and stuff. You get trapped in a cycle. And they get these medical bills. You get trapped in cycles. So why would you not go help medical stuff?

If people are on board with this, I'll tell you who actually came up with it. I didn't want to say it just in case people were like, no. You might want to wait until next week and see how they take it. No, Laura said it. But someone else might have said this. I don't know. We were just talking about it like,

Like Laura said, what if they did that? She just said, what if? And I was like, yeah, that does make sense. Yeah, that would be nice. That would be nice. I would feel at least better knowing that. I have student loans still and I don't, and I don't expect them to get paid off and I'm fine. But if they are forgiven, I mean, I'll take it. Yeah, you would take it. But it's like, I'd rather you not get that. Cause it's like, you're going to probably be able to pay off. I don't feel like I deserve to have them paid off or anything. Yeah.

If Biden wants to give me $10,000, I'll take it. I'll take it too. I mean, I don't have any loans, but you could throw that at me. It's not too late. Take one out now, and then you'll get what you're given. Is that right? I don't know. What about for trade school? Do they do the trade school ones? I learned to weld. I called...

one of those services just to like let me figure out if i even got any and the lady was like we're real busy right now and i go can you look into my i gave her like my social security number and she's like oh man you want to just try back like next week she was like so overwhelmed she was like your stuff's not coming up it would sounded like chaos over there yeah it turbo tax no

At the student aid office or whatever. At Notre Dame? No, at the federal government where my loans are through. She was like, I don't know, man. I'd be fun to be a president and you get to say stuff that just calls this complete cake. Just do it. Just everybody. And he goes, if you get to the level. I want to be president just to be like,

And she's like, you know what? I don't want no more mosquitoes. Goodbye. And then people are just like, I don't know. And then everybody's calling like a mosquito office. Speck aside. Yes, Speck said, are y'all going to really do that? He goes, I don't know. We've been trying for years to get rid of mosquitoes. It's hard. Yeah. It's hard. You know, when JFK said, we're going to go to the moon by the end of this decade, they knew like nothing.

about getting to the moon. There was like no evidence that they were going to get there, but he's like, we're going to do it. Yeah. So then everyone just scrambled and figured it out. And they still haven't figured it out. I was going to say it worked. It took a different go. Because we're going to do it by the end of the decade. They were like, we could do it tomorrow.

Like we can do it whenever. We have the video. We have the video. We have a studio set up and we're ready to go. I'll do it tomorrow. I did it 10 years ago. You ever seen some old movie? I don't know. But you do that. You just said, you tell them, figure it out. So the lights, like shut it. Let's just try something. Figure it out. Go do something. That's it's,

Yeah, they're like, first, have the answer be no. Let the answer be no. With a camera crew, and then they'll wait for the actual landing to come, and we'll film it. Yeah, there's a lot of talking. We're in a world of just everybody talks about, well, they should do, and then this, and you're like, well, no one's life changed. I always think that with charities sometimes. Some charities, you're just, it's going to this, where's it going? And you want to have somebody be like, this goes to that person.

And that person, it changed. And then you're like, okay. And then if people can see that, then it's like, you can give, you know, it's like the charity. And maybe that's what some, I don't know what all the charities, but it's, you want to directly impact. Some are transparent like that, but some of them aren't. It's like, just show this, this went to this person. It helped them. And now, all right, they're good. They're taking, all right, I got you taken care of. Get your back up on your feet.

Who's next? So you pay off my student loans. I'll show you exactly how that will help me. Here we go. I pay off your student loans. How much are your student loans? Do you know? I do know. Are you going to say it? I don't want to say. It's not a crazy amount, but it's not. Why do people not want to say? Because I don't know. Well, I've got the tuition numbers here at Notre Dame. We could probably figure it out. Anybody want to guess what this year costs at Notre Dame? Just for base tuition? Yeah.

You can do $70,000. $70,000? Just to go in there and make a tongue? Base is $60,000. Okay. But with room, meals, book supplies, all that, it's $80,000. Yeah. I mean, what if you just took a loan? Could you go take a loan for $80,000 and just go, I'm going to go figure it out? Give me $80,000 just to go. I'm going to move to... Yeah, you can. Sure. They would give a kid a loan? Yeah.

Depends on where you go. The terms might not be great, but you could take out a loan with really bad terms and then you're just... But the terms are better for college? Well, they're not amazing. That's what people are arguing. It's like really the interest is crazy. Yeah. I think it's a college problem. I think all this is you're looking at the wrong thing. Yeah, you can't even get turned down for this, right? If you want to go get a car, they're really looking at your credit, finding out. But if you're going to college, they're like, yeah, whatever. Yeah.

Yeah, I've never heard anybody getting turned down for a student loan. I will say the trade-off with Notre Dame, not to defend, I mean, those are outrageously high numbers, but Notre Dame will meet 100% of your financial need. So whatever that means for you, they will meet 100%. Is that the honor system? No, they calculate, I mean, you give them information about

you know, like what your family makes and your net worth and stuff. And then they calculate what your financial need is and they meet a hundred percent of it. So. Did you tell them about those spoons underneath the couch? Yeah. Well, you know, you don't want to let all your assets. All right. So if you're like, we could only pay 40. They're like, we will pay the other 40.

Yeah. But they calculate to determine what you can pay. You can do better than that. Believe in yourself. Figure it out. I know a lot of people paid that full tuition. And a lot of people were paying basically nothing to go there. And that's the trade-off. Some people can, some people

can't afford it. Yeah. You're just giving them something that's already set there. I know you've got to pay. How many people go to Notre Dame? It's pretty small. It's about 8,000 undergrad. What's 8,000 times 80,000? That's a lot.

64 million? No, way more than that. 640 million. No, 6 billion. Is it 6 billion? It's hard to keep track of these zeros here. I think Dusty was right.

640 million. 640 million. So roughly, that's just if everybody paid the exact amount, it's 640 million. That's not including Notre Dame, the merch sales, the, you know, of just whoever else. I mean, there ain't, there's 8,000 students. I don't know. I mean, like that you're, you're basically, even you could say worst case, you're making $500 million a year. Yeah. A year. Sounds like Notre Dame could pay off people's medical debt. And then you still call the,

to your graduates and they still send you money. To get football tickets, actually. That's how it works. To get in the lottery for football tickets, you make a donation. Yeah, that's crazy, dude. It's so crazy that you're at a place where no one's looking at these colleges and going like, hey man, what are we doing? It's wild. MTSU, $18,976.

Southern Union Community College this year. In-state tuition is $4,860. All right. That's like, I don't know. It was about $1,000. I don't know. I didn't take a lot of classes. Vol State is $4,312. But isn't community college free now in Tennessee? Isn't that how it works now? I think it is. Yeah, community college is free here. I should get money back. You should. Yeah. Yeah.

I bet my classes I had to pay remedial. Yeah, we had to fly someone in. Because y'all's teachers were like, they taught junior high and then they had to come teach you. And pay them overtime. We paid them overtime. So the wage difference for full-time workers ages 22 to 27 who graduate college on average make $52,000 a year, where people who did not go to college make on average $30,000 a year.

Ages 22 to 27. So it does make a little bit of a difference there. But that takes a long time to pay off those student debts. Yeah. Yeah. If you have motivation and drive, I don't think you need college at all. I don't think so either. But you got to be able to like –

Look, if you want... Depends on what you want to do, obviously. I would imagine if you're like, all right, I want to have a solid job. I want to make... I imagine you go to college, you're not hoping to make 50 grand a year. I would think you would want to shoot higher. But it's like if you're like, I want to make 100 grand a year. But this is right out of the gate. Yeah, yeah. But college would be like... I mean, motivation drives also could be college, like if you'd be a doctor and all that kind of stuff. But the general person, that's not... I would think...

You could, you know, I don't know. Just learn to do something. Yeah. You just learn to do something that could be monetized. Well, now they're switching to trade schools. Yeah. The last two years, they polled high school seniors and they dropped from 71% to 51% of high school seniors who said they're going to go to a four-year school. Yeah, that's learning to do things, trade school. Now they're going to trade schools. Trade schools are way up. Colleges are going to be in trouble, I bet. I think so, because you look at sports.

The sports are, you know, especially being a Vanderbilt fan, but these sports, it's going to become, they're just, it's like the NFL. So all the fun, your colleges, you have all these different divisions, and it's going to be like you're either Alabama or Notre Dame or you're just not even a sport or you're in some other weird thing and you're never going to be able to win because it's a...

It's a football factory and like they can't. And so your sports are going to just get to be like kind of like there's no character into it. It's all just like like like a corporate machine. Like it's just like we're just boom, boom, pounding them out.

People have been saying that for a while, though. But maybe you're seeing them come now. So if that was before you saw Oklahoma and Texas are coming to the SEC. Right. And then isn't someone else going? USC, UCLA, Big Ten. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy. I mean, so it's like you're going to get to win. I mean, they're about to join forces. And maybe it makes it like those games are crazy and it's fun and it's like it's minor league for NFL. Yeah. But, you know, if you get rid of that stuff, it's like with college, I mean.

And then on top of it, colleges are, people are getting, you know, 80 grand a year. It's crazy. I mean, that's like, you know, you got to make, is that times four, is that $320,000 or what is it? Yeah, $320,000. So you're down $320,000 if you just had to take the full loan. I know there's other blah, blah, whatever. But even if it's $200,000, you're down $200,000 and you got to make that and pay that back?

on top of there's a great chance you're going to get hit by a bowling ball in your life. We should forgive these loans. I know, but I'm saying it's a choice. You're going to go do that, hit in the face by a bowling ball. And then people are just buried with these for decades and decades. I know people my age still have over $100,000 worth of debt. There's no fear in having it.

Like in a way, there's no fear of having the debt. I mean, I know people do. I mean, people do work hard and they pay it off, but there's more and more people that have less fear about having the debt. Like it's like, it's just like, it's a normal thing. You're like, yeah, I have $200,000. I'll just pay. I pay monthly the lowest amount. I'll pay it for the rest of my life. And that's it. Never think about it. You know? And it's like,

There are people that do go pay it back because they don't like that feeling, but I think there's going to be more and more. You're just going to go, if you want to go to college, I'll just pay $800 a month for the rest of my life. That just automatically comes out. No one questions it. Then you're trapped. Then you're trapped. College enrollment peaked in 2010, 21 million students.

college students in 2010. It's kind of gradually gone down since then. It's dropped 6% over the last two years. So it is going down. Fewer people are doing that. Trade schools are going up. So I think last week I was about to get into this when we stopped some secret societies in college kind of pivoting here. Mm-hmm.

The most famous one is The Skull and Bones. You guys heard of this? Yeah, I think so. This was at Yale and some famous people, George W. Bush was in it, his dad was in it, William Howard Taffner, the president, was in it. John Kerry. Same time, George W. and John Kerry. John Kerry were both in it when they were running against each other and they would ask them both about it and neither one would say anything about it like it's a secret. But

But they supposedly have done some crazy things. Supposedly, George W. Bush's grandfather stole the skull of Geronimo, and it's there at their house. I forgot what their house is called now. It's been a week ago. I forgot. But the tomb, they call it the tomb. There's no windows there.

but the descendants of Geronimo, I think, try to sue to get the skull back, and they're like, we don't have it, but supposedly they do have it. Some people think they control the CIA. Some people think it's a branch of the Illuminati.

Dusty, jump in any time here. Well, wasn't the grandfather, though, head of the CIA or something? There was a CIA. Maybe George H.W. was? Yeah, he was head of the CIA. Yeah. So, I mean, that's wild. There you go. Yeah, and that's a powerful club you got there. The fact that you can still even get to where most people can't just even go look at the Geronimo school. Yeah.

Like, I mean, where would you even go see it? At a museum? It was, I think he was buried in Oklahoma and the Bush grandfather was stationed there, maybe in the military or something. And he supposedly dug it up and stole it and brought it back to the tomb at Yale University. That seems kind of crazy to do. So I would maybe not believe it just on the fact that.

He'd just dig it up? Yeah, if he had to go dig it up, it seems weird. Is that a picture from inside? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bet it'd be fun. I would join if they had to invite me. Yeah, I mean, I think you... If you can join there, you're not worrying about student loans. Yeah, you're going to be fine. They're going to take care of you. They choose 15 new members every spring at a ceremony called Tap Day, where juniors are notified of their selection when they're tapped on the shoulder. Do you have to...

You go to Yale, I guess. Yeah, you got to go to Yale. That's a prank, huh, for the rest of the year if you're a junior. People are just coming by and tapping you. Oh, no. You think you're in here, right? No, no, no. I'll do it. Oh, hey. I'll do it. I just need you to move out of the way. Hey, Jenny. What?

This is a big day today. Don't be messing with me. Is Skull and Bones just guys? No. They tried to keep it that way for a long time, but they finally admitted women. Don't sound too excited about it, Brian. They finally said, look, these women are not going anywhere, and I think we're going to have to have them.

1992. There was a thing where one of the Bush daughters said something like, at Yale, they say it's God and country, something God, country, family. And he said at Bones, Bones would be first. It would be like Bones, God, country. Oh, really? We would say God, country, Notre Dame. Yeah. So it would be Bones.

The Bones. Yeah. God and then country. Yeah, yeah. I don't like that. Yeah. Yeah. Y'all going to have family in there? They're fourth. Notre Dame is the family, dude. Yeah. So your whole family went there. No, I don't know. I don't know where family would fit in. Yeah. God, country. You put family above country? I would think so. I think God, family, country. Hmm. I don't know. I don't know. Depends on what country you're in. Yeah, it depends on where your family's at.

If they're all in the country. If you're like, well, mine, some live in another country. You go, then I'd flip flop. Right. That's how you decide. You go, well, some of mine are in another country. You go, well, I'd flip it. I would say God family. Yeah.

I mean, you love your country, but it's like your family. Now, were you in a fraternity? Catholic schools don't have Greek life. Oh. That's interesting. You just do a lot of other secretive stuff? There's a lot of secret stuff going on. Yeah. But no Greek life. Were you in a fraternity at MTSU? No, I was afraid I'd get in the wrong one. It'd be like the Q-Dogs or something, and they're branding me. You would have gotten branded. Yeah.

Do you guys know the Q-Dogs? No. No. You see athletes all the time that they've got the brand. It's a black fraternity, Omega Sci-Fi, but they call themselves the Q-Dogs and they brand themselves. Oh, jeez. Oh, wow. Oh, okay. I've seen these. I like the camaraderie of it. Shaq was one. Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan's got a little brand right here. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

A lot of NFL players have it, but they're called the Q-Dogs or the Qs. So you're worried that you might accidentally end up in the Q-Dogs. Yeah, I would just think I'm in some little white boy fraternity. You accidentally join a black fraternity and not realize it until you got branded? Well, I don't see color, Aaron, but I'd feel a brand. I thought you would be...

Like they would have you clean the house quick. Like you would just be. During rush? Yeah, like during the day go, not bright. The next morning, you'd be up first and you're like, I had a little fun night last night, my boys. And then you're just putting everything away. Yeah, I'd be a pledge. That's what they do, right? Yeah. I never joined a fraternity, but don't pledges. Don't you have to do that first before you. Oh, yeah. For like a whole semester. Yeah. You do whatever they do.

I had some buddies, all my friends from high school went to Tennessee, were in fraternities. I remember when they were pledging and like one of them, their whole job was just they always had to have cigarettes and dip on them at all times.

So I was like, that'd be kind of nice to have. Just somebody could have whatever, you know. Yeah. Some of these things are like mean though, right? Or like too much. Some of it can be mean. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's kind of going away. I think the bubble burst on that. There's been a lot of hazing deaths. Yeah. I think these campuses are really cracking down on it. Yeah. And they're kicking these fraternities off campus in a lot of colleges. I just think it's going to go down.

Yeah, you gotta, I mean, yeah, someone dies, you're like, that's too much. Yeah, mainly like alcohol-related deaths, right? Like they make you drink too much. They make some pledge to just keep drinking, and then he dies from alcohol poisoning. Yeah. It happens like once a year somewhere. Yeah.

Some college. They're like, we didn't make him do that. We actually told him to slow it down. All right, well, there's a funnel here. Multiple funnels. So that's where we're having trouble with that. You want to guess the top party schools in the country? Georgia was up there for a long time. West Virginia. Alabama, Tuscaloosa. Florida State. Florida State's number two. Oh. I don't know how you would...

I think this changes every year. It does change every year. Who's number one? Penn State? This says Tulane. Tulane. Tulane. I think I would know that. New Orleans. Well, yeah. Bert Kreischer was Florida State. So in 1997, Rolling Stone did an article called Bert Kreischer, the undergraduate. And it was about a six-year senior who just did crazy alcohol-driven shenanigans along with his roommate Hutch.

And then five years later, a movie called National Lampoon's Van Walder portrayed a college party animal with a friend named Hutch. But, and then there was a follow-up Van Walder, but Burt Crusher never got any of that money.

Crazy. I think he might have tried to sue him and it just wasn't... It was going against him. But that's crazy that they, you know, to do that, to take that guy's... You took his... To Burt's life story. I mean, obviously, Burt has done very well for himself and he's kind of showed them. But it's insane. Like, you know, that's where I always think when people talk about people's comedians...

Like people stealing material. Like I don't think comics steal material. I mean, comics do steal material, but I just don't think

If you're a comic, I just wouldn't... It's not worth worrying about that. It's not going to happen enough. People think stuff is stolen all the time. I got jokes about Blacken Out, and people are always like, oh, you stole John Mulaney's joke. And I've watched every John Mulaney Blackout joke, and I'm like, these are nothing alike. No, yeah. Comics go talk about the same kind of stuff. Yeah. But it's...

It's, you know, no one's, it's overall, you're like, no one's, there's no, you know, there's these cases where this stuff happens, but overall, no one's just on the road just doing someone's full hour and they're like famous. Like, it's just not, it's just not, I don't think it's happening enough to be talked about. But the Hollywood industry, the movie stuff, I do think, I do think people,

Can take stuff from comics and they put jokes into movies because they can hide them. Yeah. And I mean, right there, they just stole the whole his life. So the college with the lowest acceptance rate. You may want to guess. Yale, Harvard, MIT. Lowest acceptance. I don't think I may even understand the toughest acceptance rate. Oh, it's the hardest to get into.

Does it help when you don't even understand? I mean, I was going to be. We're all pretty tough for me. I was about to say community college because I thought that's what that question meant. Yeah. That's not accurate. Oxford.

I mean, yeah, I don't even know colleges well enough. I could name some. Well, that's a trick question. Harvard and Stanford are tied for second, 5%. But the toughest is a little school called Curtis Institute of Music. It's in Philadelphia. They have about 150 students.

And each year, besides academic requirements, they have an orchestra. And if they need like a tuba player or something like that, that's how you get in. You've got to be a member. You've got to be able to play an instrument that they need for their orchestra. Interesting. That's like more exclusive than Juilliard. Yeah. It sounds like. 4%. 4%. That apply? Yeah. But are people like really dying to get in? I don't know. Like what's that going to give you?

go into that school. Sounds great. I guess, yeah. You become a good musician, you get placed into... Yeah, I think you're signing up for a network at those places. That's a big part of it. That's the big appeal of any of these colleges. What's a tuba player in the orchestra get paid? Like, is that really something to strive to? I think 50 bucks a show. I just used that as an example, but like Nina Simone, I think, didn't get accepted. There are some famous...

But I just wonder, like, I mean, if you're a tuba player and you're wanting to go professional. There you go. What kind of? What was that? That was a foghorn. Vanderbilt's 12%. Notre Dame's 19%. Wow.

MTSU, 94%. What's Southern Union? Really? Hey, if you got the money, we'll find a spot for you. I like that. Southern Union's 100%. All right. Paul State was 99%. I didn't get into MTSU, so I'm on the 6% that they did not allow. Wow. You applied there and they said no? You're like a unicorn. I don't know if I applied there. Maybe I didn't apply there. I like to thank you, Dad. Yeah.

Yeah, if you have that. I remember going to visit it. It'd be nice if you had the letter where they turned you down. That'd be a lot of fun. Yeah, that would be fun. Yeah. That's probably worth money. It's like a Mickey Mantle rookie card. And the 6% that they don't allow. Yeah. The best of the best. I mean, would you have to have 18 on your ACT to get in? They're like, the junior high is too far from here to get in. I think I had to go take remedial classes. To get that coaching. So, like, I wasn't.

Like I had to go to high school again, basically. You know, a lot of these schools now, they don't even, the hip ones now don't even look at the test scores. Oh, really? Yeah. What do they look at? They look at you as a whole person. That's what they say.

That's actually going to hurt me. You're actually like, will you look at the test scores? I'm ready to look at my test scores. Yeah, check the test scores. I remember when I was looking at colleges, I went to Wake Forest, and they were one of the first schools to do this. They go, your test scores are optional. You don't have to tell us your test scores if you don't want. We'll just look at your entire package, who you are as a student.

Because people make arguments that these tests are, you know, disproportionately affect certain people. So you're like, well, we won't even look at them now. Yeah. I bet that's going to pan out to be good. U.S. News and World Reports does the top universities every year. Harvard's number one, MIT two, Stanford three.

Vanderbilt 73rd, Notre Dame 284. What is this? What is this list? The top list in the world, that's all. Oh, in the world? Yeah. U.S. News and World Report. Well, I mean, these are all American universities. I don't believe this list. Did you have a Southern Union list on that list? I couldn't find it. Okay. Stopped at 285. Yeah. I was very surprised that that had it ranked 284. The best universities in the world? Yeah. Hmm. Hmm.

Because I mean like Duke's 23rd, Georgia Tech's 58, Vanderbilt's 73rd. Yeah, this is the wrong list. All right. I guess I looked at it wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just a number. What is it? Who? What's the source? The U.S. News and World Reports. Well, that's the main one. That's the main one. I read that every week. That's how I'd get all my rankings was the U.S. News and World Report. It looks real. It looks like a good solid report.

website i think this is the go-to great well put together this is the go-to list that everybody okay there's like a national university wait who yeah i would go to it too if no names up there us news.net is that what that says us news.com us news.com what this is vander this is the same source that brian was just reading off

Where's Notre Dame? This has Notre Dame tied for 19 in national universities. Vanderbilt tied for 14. But worldwide, maybe there are a bunch of other... What are we... Princeton, number one. Yeah, it's different. These changes every year. All right. But kind of the core of it, the core of it's going to be... How do you rank something like that? Well, that's the big argument is, can you really? But at the end of the day, it's like, come on. I think that's the system. Yeah. It's like, what's...

I really think that's what it is. Come on. Come on. It's not like Nick Navicky. It's Prince. It's like, yeah, we're Prince. So there wasn't enough people at Notre Dame doing that, going, come on, guys. We're respectful about it. Yeah. Get us in there. We'd like to be considered. Yeah. Come on. We're not going to force the issue. We'll put you at 19, you go. That's fine. We know we're better than all of you. Yeah. There was a college in...

There is a college in Pennsylvania, Lincoln University, where students who had a body mass index of 30 or higher or a waist of 35-inch or more for women or 40 inches or more for men couldn't graduate until they took a fitness class. What was their waist size? 35 inches for women, 40 inches for men. Wow.

Couldn't graduate until you took a fitness for life class. What happened at that college? Have they been shut down? Well, people protested. They no longer do that. You know, there probably would be a... If you had a college where your first year is we're going to just make you get healthy and train your brain to stay in shape and be healthy. You have to take a swim test at Notre Dame. Who cares about... I'm saying like...

If it's like your class was where to like, we're going to change your lifestyle to be healthy. So you have to change your whole lifestyle. Yeah. I'm just talking out loud. Yeah, your freshman year. Yeah, if I would have learned about calories or all this, whatever. I think high school should do that. I mean, it'd be nice to have learned something that I could use in my life. Maybe they did talk about it.

I mean, I think it should be a required course and not an elective or whatever they called them. Yeah. Force it on people. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I could have learned that, used that more than I needed geometry. Yeah. What is geometry? I don't even know if I took geometry. I took it, but it didn't do a lot for me. You probably took geometry. I did Algebra 1 and then- I think geometry was next. Dabbled into something. Geometry is before Algebra. Algebra.

I thought it was before. It might be right after Algebra 1. After 1, before 2. Yeah. Oh, I think I went to Algebra 1. I went to either Algebra 2.

And then they were like, that's a lot. And that went back to Outdoor War. That's what I think happened. I did one geometry and I don't know what happened. I took a class called math and society. Yeah, I did one. There weren't even some angles they knew about back when I was taking it. We only went 80 degrees at that point. There's the word. They didn't have protractors back then. Yeah, I was like one, two, one. That's what I did. Back down.

Do you take math and society? That was a class I took. The volleyball coach was the teacher. I took whatever. Like mine would be if you wrote a movie and put classes in, I took those classes. Like every class is like just economics, speech. Like it would just be the normal like, do you want to name these classes something fun? They're like, just do what everybody, biology. Just the generic terms. The generic terms. And I didn't even make it through those. Yeah.

I bet they talked about all this stuff, the eating stuff and all this. I'm like, why don't they teach you how to eat good? You're like, yeah, did you listen at school at all? You're like, I did not. I took a health class. Where did you go to study? They told us that math and society would be about learning how to balance your checkbook. But I don't even think we ever talked about that. I couldn't tell you what that class was about. Yeah, I think we did a checkbook balance. I never was great at balancing my checkbook. I did it.

Some, but it was never great. I don't think I've ever done it. Yeah, that's crazy. We did it. All right. All right. So I'll end on this is coming up week one, college football. I'm sure they won't count Vanderbilt's win because it was week zero. They'll somehow find a way. We count it. 1-0, 60-30-10. Made a statement. Yeah. Some traditions, famous traditions. Chief Osceola, Florida State. Kind of crazy that's still a thing. Doesn't it seem like?

League of Rides out there. It's awesome. It's one of the coolest things I've seen in person. I'm not saying that. I know that, but I think that they use somebody who's actually from the Seminole tribe, and that's their way of getting around it. They got permission? Yeah. His name's Jerry.

Army-Navy game. You guys ever been to that? No. Marching on the field. I would love to go. Both sides. All right. And Auburn, they always roll Toomer's Corner with toilet paper after a win. Yeah. I got a pic of myself as a kid on my mom's shoulders with a little toilet paper in my hair. Oh.

Oh, look at that. Look at that. That's very fun. That's awesome. Did y'all use that? Did you say the toilet paper home? Probably. Probably. Before y'all left, y'all were like, we might as well grab some. That's why they were there. This is like three grand of free toilet paper. I mean, come on. What are we doing here? My mom's hat there, though. I wish I had that hat. That is a classic hat.

That's on that guy's shirt back there. I think that's Auburn, like, probably fraternity stuff. Oh, okay. Yeah, those are Greek letters. It does look tough. Yeah. Iowa, they have a couple. Here's a new one. They started this in 2017. The Children's Hospital is right next door to the stadium. So fans turn and face the hospital after the first quarter and wave at the children. That's awesome. That's cool. Yeah.

See, these schools have to – they need to do stuff like this. Virginia Tech, do you have that one in there? Yep. Inner Sandman? Yeah. That's awesome. I mean, I would love to go see that. Me too. What do they do? They play Inner Sandman when they – They play Thursday nights. They're one of the few teams that play Thursday nights. And it's just crazy. Crazy. Wait, I mean, like the band plays it and then everybody sings along? No, they play it over the stage and everyone's jumping up and down. Oh, okay. It's wild.

wild and they walk out from like you can watch a video on it okay and then they walk out like and they're just walking it's like starting to play and everybody's just going crazy and it's just I mean it's the it's the coolest thing I've ever seen this started in 2000 so not that long ago they installed a new scoreboard and they wanted to show it off with new entrance music so they did inner sand man and it says the tradition was born

I want Vandy to have something that's like, people go to school for this, dude. They walk over from there together, and then, yeah, I bet you never really play this. Yeah, I'll check it out. Yeah, that's awesome. Go check it out. Go to YouTube, full Enter Sandman entrance. It might be my number one I want to go see.

I just think that's so cool. Up there for me, West Virginia, after a win, they all sing Take Me Home Country Roads. Oh, that's cool. The whole stadium. I want to be there for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wisconsin, I know this one. They do Jump Around. Yeah. Started the second half. Oh, Iowa, also another one thing they do. In 1979, Howard Fry, their coach, painted the locker room of the visiting team pink.

Because he was a psychology major, and they learned that that color dampens excitability and aggressive behavior. So they still keep it pink to this day. That's cool. And before the final home game of every season, the seniors at Notre Dame sneak bags of marshmallows in the stands and throw them at each other throughout the game. Hmm.

Yeah, I'm more about this inner Sandman, like singing that song, like a camaraderie with the fans. I just put that one in for Aaron. Yeah, throwing marshmallows. Oh, wait, that's at Notre Dame? Yeah. I put that in for you. People put quarters into the marshmallows, and then you can really hurl them. Oh, that's why you've fallen so far on the ranking. Yeah, yeah. It costs you $320,000 to maybe damage a poor person again as y'all throw marshmallows.

your quarter marshmallows at the help and then you go up and with your fathers and you live in uh your castles and a guy's got just gashes on his eye meanwhile i'm walking through there taking quarters out of all the marshmallows just to get some lunch the next day yeah it must be nice would you ever eat any

Of course. I mean, you sneak something in, of course you're going to eat something. Yeah, a couple. I mean, who's not going to have one, right? Yeah. Did you bring two bags, one for eating, one for throwing? Don't touch this one. You got this pocket for my eating, this pocket for my throwing.

All right. All right. We talked a little bit about college. Yeah. Somewhat. Talked about a lot of other stuff. College part three coming up. We'll just keep going. It's over. It's, it's, all right. We love you all. Thank you, everybody. I am going to be in Vegas.

I'll be in Vegas September, you know, something, 11th, 10th, 11th, 12th, something like that. I want to say 10th. I want to say 9th, 10th, I believe. I'll be in Vegas. So if you're there, come out to that. And then we got, yeah, the special taping.

My tour started back up pretty hard, so if you want to go check all that stuff out. September 15th in Springfield, Missouri at Billiards, and September 16th, 17th at Helium in St. Louis. Awesome. I'm doing Zany's here in Nashville September 11th. Then I'm doing Off the Hook in Naples, and then Sidesplitters in Tampa that week.

I don't really know what week we're on here, but, um, I'm out this week. Okay. I got a video that I put out. That's a video of me doing a five o'clock somewhere. Full breakdown. Really great. It's on YouTube. You should check it out. And also I'll be in Greensboro, North Carolina at the comedy zone. Yeah. So you're going to viral route. It's not, well, it'll be out when this comes out. Okay. It's not out as of, of, you know, when we're recording. Is it like when you shot it?

Yeah, it's about an eight-minute breakdown of me doing the song. It's five o'clock somewhere. It's great. It's going to help your SEO. Yeah, I'm looking to get the SEO bumped up a bit. Well, you have an act. Yes, I do have an act. When they watch this video, then they can go see a great show. Yeah, we're recording on Monday, so you're looking at a point. It's not out. It's not out yet. But Wednesday it will be.

Yeah, Lexington. Also, Lexington, Kentucky. We're shooting Greg Warren's special at Comedy Club Off-Broadway. It's September 29th, October 1st. October 1st. October 1st is a Saturday. We're taping two shows. So come out to that. We'd love you there. I'll be there directing and directing.

producing the 800 pound gorilla uh greg is super funny around the podcast obviously you've heard him so come check that out all right we love you very much thank you and talk to you next week nateland is produced by nateland productions and by me nate margutzi and my wife laura on the all things comedy network recording and editing for the show is done by genovations media thanks for tuning in be sure to catch us next week on the nateland podcast