Hello, folks. Welcome to the Nateland Podcast. We are lucky enough, I know we talked about you a lot on this podcast, with Greg Garcia, created Sprung, gave Bates his, what I would call, ego. Yeah. Because he's kind of a diva now. He's a lot asked for a lot. Yeah, since that time, it has really blown up. Yeah. Yeah. He goes, I'm an actor. I don't have to do this stuff. We have to type out all the stuff he says. Yeah.
Because he only reads scripts. So everything you hear is... Well, my attorney has to look it over. Yeah. Yeah. That. So, Greg, creator of the awesome new show Sprung on Amazon Freebie. I've watched the whole thing. And the nicest guy in hell. And the nicest guy in hell. Yeah. Which is I've added to my bio after you gave that description of me. You've got some people pushed back on that. They defended you. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, I took it as a compliment.
Well, they did not. Oh. And we have a lot of Christians, and they were worried about your soul. Oh, okay. And they just wanted you to know that you can't earn your way to heaven, so no matter how good or how bad you are, that's not how it works. But at the same, I look at it like somebody's got to keep people in line down there. Yeah. Yeah. You know? I mean, if not me, then who? Maybe I can turn it around. Yes. There needs to be a corner that is also some nice people. Yeah. Yeah.
I like that. So if you do go, find Greg. Yeah, he's down there. That's what I was saying. If you go... Look him up? Yeah, Greg's going. So if you... I'm saying if you're there. You might not think you're going to be there. Let's just say...
Hope you don't see Greg. Yeah. But if you have to, then I would go hang out with Greg. Yeah. Look me up. Look him up. Aaron Weber, I don't know for sure, was arrested last night. Is that? He's still very upset about the Notre Dame loss. Yeah. And he got out of hand and just punched a guy. Wow. Several is what I heard. Yeah. Several. He had to be restrained. Wow. Yeah. Coming from a big guy like that, that's tough.
So he's done. Yep. And we have Greg now. Yeah. I brought gifts because I was raised right. So if you don't mind. You were raised right. I was raised right. And I'm wearing my mellow yellow hat because I feel like this podcast is the mellow yellow of podcasts in a way. And I say that lovingly. Yeah. Lovingly. Well, I'm a big Kyle Petty fan. Okay. He drove the mellow yellow car. Well, that's interesting you say that because I wanted to get some gifts for people and-
But I didn't want to buy anything new, so I went on eBay and I looked around. And so let me, well, let's start. Let's start there with you. There's a little Kyle Petty. Well, amazing. Yeah. That was not planned. Not planned. Not planned. Amazing. I got a little. What if Dusty already has this, though? He can sell it or he can trade it. Okay. This is going on the wall. We got a Jeep. I got a Charger for Aaron, but we'll give that to him. Ooh.
Nothing mellow about him. Get him through the thing. I have that one for you. Ooh, the American, uh, oh, this is, oh, wow. If you're listening at home, you're probably bored. Uh, Kyle Petty, uh,
We have everything. I did have that truck as a kid. Yeah, this truck is awesome. It doesn't get much better than this. And then lastly, real quick, I also got some hats there. I tried to fit personalities. Okay. We got a mellow yellow. A little camo mellow yellow hat. We got kind of more of a vintage. People say I need to wear a hat on here. In case you want to go hunting, but also still represent NASCAR. This one was a find. This is a golf mellow yellow hat. But the problem is if you put it on, a bunch of stuff falls out of it. It's pretty old. Yeah. Yeah.
This is... Well, now you can be Rodney Dangerfield. This episode's gonna be about lice. Yeah. Be careful with that. Be careful. That's gonna put stuff on your head. And then I just got two more things real quick. A little Mellow Yellow. I didn't want Laura to be left out, so I got her... I'm with Stupid. I got her and I'm with Stupid. Get nice in the Stupid shirt. And
And lastly, I didn't know what Harper was into. But then I thought, you travel a lot. I used to work a lot. You're not home as much as you'd like to be. So I'm looking on eBay. I'm like, what can I get Harper that will help her out around the house? And so I got this for when she's in, you're in town. I got her a Nate Bargetzi meet and greet. Yeah.
That she can wear around the house. And then, you know, you give her a minute or two. Yeah. Take a selfie. Keep the line moving. Keep the line moving. I would like her to stand around the wall. And that was $9.99 on eBay. Wow, dude. So, yeah. Alright.
All right. So anyway, that's that. I just wanted to- Just can't get rid of those things. Yeah. Put it on eBay, comes back to you. This wasn't on eBay. This was on Self Free. I knew it was on eBay because you guys once talked about that on the podcast. Yeah. So I stumbled across it and I thought that that would be a great gift for her. I think Laura listed that on eBay. She did. Yeah. All right. This is great. Well, there you go. I look forward to meeting my daughter.
And I love all this stuff. Greg sent me a baby gift. A baby burrito. I did, yeah. Yeah, I found that. For breakfast. That probably also had dangerous stuff in it. There's going to be so much stuff in your hair now. It's, it's, I tried to warn you. Yeah. Yeah, that, have you wrapped the baby in that? Is that safe? I don't know. Okay, yeah. I don't know where that was made either. Yeah.
This is very, very nice. Mellow Yellow. I'm a big Mellow Yellow fan. I'm very excited about this car. Yeah. I do want to open it and drive it around, but it's a collector's item now. You can open it up. I think that's fine. I think Cal Petty almost won a race or two. Okay. I mean, I was a fan. I have some school pictures in a Mellow Yellow shirt. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Mellow Yellow is big where you were at. Oh, yeah. I used to drink it a lot. Yeah. Yeah.
Was that like Christmas presents? Y'all get like a 12 pack? Well, I wish that's as rare as we drank it. But I mean, you know, when you live in a trailer, you don't, it's not a lot of times it's not because you don't have money. It's because you don't know how to spend it. Yeah.
you know yeah so it's like we had some money but we were you know buying a candy bar and a mellow yellow every day yeah and then you know paying for cavities yeah when i went to visit my friend that lived in a trailer park which i loved i loved going over there it was more fun than my neighborhood and it'd be like at 11 o'clock on a tuesday and you grew up was a lot very wealthy yeah very very very wealthy yeah um and uh
I was always struck by every trailer had a much nicer TV than we had. It was like... There was money there. It was just what it was being spent on. It is true. They spend it in... That's the idea where they have all these cars and all this stuff. And you think, well, why do they have... It's like they just...
That's what they would rather have. Yeah. My best friend growing up had a two-story brick house. He had about five Nintendo games. I had about 30. His mom drove a minivan. My mom drove a Thunderbird. Yeah. You know what I mean? So... Yeah. We're just...
Pick your poison. Right. Yeah. You just didn't waste the money on a dwelling. Who needs a good home? Yeah. He didn't, you know, he didn't feel the wind as much. Right. But it's, you know, there's a give and take. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, is it breezy? Is it chilly? I went to his house during tornadoes, but I was able to bring video games.
Yeah. All of them. Yes. And you go over there. We got there quick in a Thunderbird. Exactly. You skinned your knees on that little patch of AstroTurf in front of your place, and he had grass. Yes. But it's give and take. It's give and take. Dusty looks like every Greg Garcia character wrapped in wool. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I've been inspired. So the people that don't know, Greg Garcia, you've created a bunch of shows. Yes.
My Name is Earl, Raising Hope. You got Sprung Out Now, Guest Book, and Yes, Dear. Yeah. All of them. And all awesome shows. And I've watched all of them. But with My Name is Earl, if you started it now...
would he be like Dusty? Would he be in the show? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. This is what you would be looking for. I can't believe we haven't worked with each other yet, to be honest with you. I'm pushing for a reboot. Yeah. I think that would be a good idea. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm all about that. 100%. It's 5 o'clock somewhere. Yeah. Yes, it is. Yeah. We could get that going. Yeah, because you could see, like, with all your shows, you're like, I mean, this is your –
You've been looking for this man for a while. Yeah, absolutely. I feel like I finally found him. Yeah, we could update it, though. We could update it, and he could be transitioning. We'll call it My Name Was Earl. My Name Was Earl. Yeah, just to be in the more modern time. To give it a chance. Give it a chance to get picked up. Yeah, exactly. You've got to do those things these days. My Name Was Earl. Yeah, and Dusty can go either way. Yeah, that's true.
You know, as Dusty. You're talking about you in third person? No, no, the name. Oh, okay. The name. Oh, all right. Just in case we use his real name. Yeah. Yeah, when the show's called My Name is Earl, you're like, wow, who's it about? It's a guy named Dusty. Yeah. You're like, well, why would we do that? I think your name would be Earl. Okay, but we said was. Yeah. Meaning that maybe it's not Earl. Now it's Earlene. Yeah. Something like that. I think it's confusing. Yeah, it definitely is.
We might have to shut this down. I don't know if this is going to work. I've never seen someone go from possibly having a show to not a show that quick. I lose them quick. It was a fun ride. It was a fun ride. The idea is that I let my manager do all the talking. You know what I mean? Yeah. I can lose them quick. Yeah. You're literally sitting with a guy that can create the show. You're already in. He's like...
It's a lot. I'll talk him out of it. Dusty seems like a liar. He was a little difficult. Are you sure, Greg? It got difficult. Show me the contract. I'm like, are you sure you want to pay this much? Come on. Greg, come on. I grew up in Detroit. I'll do it for free. Yeah. Just four Nintendo games. Four Nintendo games. And I'm on board. And then he's on board. So we're excited that you came down. Yeah.
Aaron is in Naples this week. I think, you know, when this comes out, is he still there off the hook? I don't know if he's still there. I think Tuesday and Wednesday. So go see him tonight. If you're there, go see Aaron tonight. He's there. So Greg was – and we were excited to have Greg come down because, Greg, you started this off with, you know, Sprung. You got Aaron and –
Bates or they're in it. They came in. They were great. They were great. You know, I had to, I always planned to cast them, but I had to put them on tape just to show the, the Amazon people that make sure that they, you know, it was all good to go, but they did great in their auditions. And, uh,
And they were going to get the parts anyway. But yeah, and they came in. We had a good time. That was our first couple days of shooting when we were at the prison. Well, Aaron had the very first scene. Oh, that's right. Yeah. First scene we shot was Aaron. Yeah. So we got there Sunday night and Monday morning early. I
I hadn't even gotten up yet. He was already done and back to the hotel. And he said that you did the whole announcement like, hey, guys, welcome to the set. You know, kind of the rah, rah, rah. That's right. Let's go. And he had the very first scene. It was day one of 61 days of shooting. It got, yeah, it was a long shoot. But that was fun. And then I put on that first day on the call sheet, because you had to come in there. Brian had to come in there for something the first day, I think, for wardrobe or something. Wardrobe.
So it just, it didn't say his name. It said breakfast as the actor's name. And then I even had on his trailer, uh, on in tape, they put the person's character name on there. So I put breakfast, uh,
But then I took it down the next day because I was worried that when he was in there changing, people would be coming in looking for a burrito. Oh, yeah. So I took it down. I took it down. Just a lot of Brian covering up. Hello? And he's so nice. He'd probably go start to get some breakfast items. Well, I have granola bars. Yeah, just give it to him.
I was so nervous on set, even though I had one little line. I know that sounds stupid, but I was so nervous. And I get there and it's a lot. It's intimidating. And I had my own trailer, but I was sitting there and like, oh my gosh. And there's a knock on the door and I'm like, come in.
Greg walks in. I never met Greg in person. He takes the time, introduces himself. We talk a little bit. And it really made a world of difference just to kind of put me at ease. Oh, good, good. You're the first person I met. It was the director of the whole show. All right. Well, yeah. Creator of the...
Sorry. Putting him down. He goes, I'm sorry. And you were lucky to have a part on this show, right? No, it was fun. And Aaron did. And Aaron got up there right away and he did well. You did well. And by day two, I was a diva. Yeah. I was relaxed. I was like, what's taking so long? I'm in my trailer. Like, come on guys. And day two, we shot that scene where Aaron was just supposed to stand there with a gun. And, uh,
And he couldn't stop laughing from what was going on in the scene. So I had to keep going in there and going, come on, keep it together, man. Keep it together. But it was fun. It's probably like a good sign because you know it's funny, but then it can get frustrating. Oh, it wasn't frustrating at all. It's a good sign. It's a good sign, but you could be like,
is there a point where you're like all right dude we gotta if it was day 59 yeah i think maybe but it was day two so i was still uh fresh yeah good mood and yeah and plus it was fun having those you know you guys there and everything so yeah everyone was so nice josh wolf was there yeah josh was there because he shot a scene later but we threw him in that one scene with you guys so he's just sitting in a chair yep did uh does that happen like when you're filming something like a tv show if people are laughing that hard or they can't
What do you got to do? Do you have to just like, let's go to a different scene or is it like you got to get it together? Ultimately, you get it together. I mean, there'll be stuff that actors will just start cracking up for sure. It seems to happen more in front of an audience when you're doing four camera shows because it's infectious and the audience is there. And I think with single camera, it's more of an intimate experience. So you will definitely have people laughing.
But usually what holds you up more is just somebody just has a long speech and they just can't get through it. Because you have so much to shoot during the day. It's not their fault. It's just hard to do. And you'll sit there and you'll be on like take 12, 13. And then it's just like, all right, let's just...
Take a moment. You know, let's just let's cut for a little bit and then you'll get there. And I've had I've had some instances where some guest actors like just broke down, like broke down and just couldn't get through it. And then I'd really have to like stop. Like broke down laughing or crying? No, like not crying, but just like just got way too in their heads and just couldn't get through the scene. And they just like were flipping out, like having an anxiety attack.
Yeah. And at that point, then I'm just like, all right, cut. Let's just, let's take a break, you know, whatever. And I'll just go talk to him. I go, hey man, this is, this is fine. You know, you're all right. Everything's fine. You can't have mental breaks. Like I've, I've tried that with like memorizing, like if I'm trying to rehearse for like the Tonight Show or something and I know the material, but I'm like, I want to really nail it. So I'll do it over and over again. And you say it so much that I'm like, I don't even remember the joke now.
Yeah. And where you're just reciting the words. Yes. You're not like in the moment. So sometimes I'll say, if that's happening to somebody, I'll just be like, look, here's what you're trying to say is this. This is what's happening in the scene. Don't think about hitting every single word. You know, just get it all out. You know, get the feeling out there. You know what you're trying to say to this person. So don't stumble in the middle of it. Just, you know, and more often than not, even that pressure off, they'll just do it perfectly. Yeah.
Or they'll mix up a couple words and that's fine because you're like, all right, that'll work. Yeah. We're just trying to get. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, for me, a lot of times what I write, I am kind of the word police of like, no, I spent a lot of time and the writer spent a lot of time putting it, you know, I want to get it like this.
But if you're on take 15, at a certain point, you might be like, all right, that got us to where we need to go. Let's move on. It's just easier to go buy a parrot for the show than not. I like something that crazy. You're like, it was a dog you're supposed to be talking about, and they said parrot. Just tell props to get a parrot, please. We need a parrot tomorrow, and we need to reshoot everything we did yesterday. But that's just what's going to happen. That's what's going to happen. We're a parrot people now. Yeah, that's it. Yeah.
I had my scene memorized and then we did it over and over. And then you said, okay, now try it and say this instead. Yeah. And that right. Whoa.
But that's the one you end up using. Yeah, it is one of the ones. Because always what I'll do is because a lot of times I work with writers and they'll have like, I'll say like, oh, this joke here, maybe we can beat this, you know? And so they'll have like six or seven jokes that they'll email me and I'll be like, all right, well, four of these are real funny. So I'll just keep them in my back pocket and then I'll come in there and go, all right, let's try some other stuff. We have time to do it. And yeah, that was one of those. And we did use one of the alternate ones, didn't we? Yeah. Yeah.
And sometimes those are more fresh anyway coming out of your mouth because you haven't thought about it too much. You haven't rehearsed it in your head a certain way and it just comes out more natural. Just like a joke. Sometimes the first time you tell a joke is when it's the best because it's more natural. Oh, yeah. Like with our show, the pilot I shot, Greg was there. Greg helped us do – he rewrote it the day he came in. That's when I met Greg. Greg was –
I, I like, I mean, obviously I knew he were, but I didn't like really put it. Danielle was like, uh, our showrunners, Danielle's the best. Yeah. And, uh, she was, and she's like, Oh, my friend Greg's coming. So, but I don't get introduced as like, this is this guy. And he did this or something. And then he's sitting there like this. And, uh,
You know, very like you would have no idea. You know, you took an Uber X over to my house today. What is the one thing that I've got to get off the top of it? You took back, didn't you take back some furniture or something one time? Oh, some. Oh, it was during when we were doing your pilot. There were some cushions I bought for some outdoor furniture. And my wife didn't like them when they got there. And I called to say, can you can I return these? And they're like, no, you can't return them.
And I was like, man, really? I mean, what am I going to do? And then I saw their address was in Azusa, which was like an hour and a half from LA. And I was like, what if I bring them to you? And they're like, yeah, you can, if you want to bring them here, we'll give you the money back. And I was like, all right. So yeah, I drove an hour and a half to Azusa. It was like $65. I'm into it. I'm into it. They were like two cushions. They were like $65.
Now with gas, it might have been a push, but I think at the time I still probably came like 20 bucks ahead. And I had a nice drive to Azusa. Yeah. And I got to see where they make the cushions. Not everybody gets to see where they make the cushions. Yeah. So that was exciting. I mean, a lot of people don't walk in those doors except you. Yeah. And they're like, sir, this is a fact. We're not like a store. Yeah.
This is a factory. You're like, well, I'll be right over. I think that came out of a discussion you and I were having just about like, maybe about like just writing and life and how like, you gotta just, I mean, if you start like,
Being a success in your field and stuff, it's easy to get complacent and not drive to Azusa. And you're going to get the stories from driving to Azusa. You are. I mean, I didn't really get a story that I could use other than saying it right here, but still. You're saying it right here. It's being used. It's being used. It's being used. And you're really looking for anything to be used, anything to talk about. Because not all of it's going to be in a show or a stand-up or whatever, but it could be in an interview. And you could be really funny in this interview.
And someone's like, said that. Oh, that was so funny. So you're like, yeah, I just had that happen. That's a big part of it. Yeah, you got to continue to say yes to things, experiences, and then also get outside your comfort zone and just do things just for the heck of it. Yeah, go get...
Yeah. I mean, I just had some luggage break. The wheel broke off that I just bought. So I took the wheel off and I took it into the store and I go, hey, I'd just like to get a replacement for this. And they're like, you got to bring the whole bag in. You can't just bring the wheel. I'm like, well, it seems like so much easier to just bring the wheel. And then my wife was like, probably no one's taken the wheel off the luggage. But that's, I'm taking the cushions back.
You know what I mean? That's what I do. And sometimes those stories don't work. Right. And that's, you know, but it does it. You're trying. Yes, exactly. You try it. And I, you know, to be, this won't be the last time I tell that story. No. I'll bomb that on many occasions. Well, you're workshopping. You're workshopping. Before you know it, I own the story. Yeah.
So I went back and I took the luggage and I go, sir, where's the wheel? And I go, well, why do I even need to bring the wheel? The wheel doesn't work. I'll keep doing it. Yeah. So there's not even a store. It's a flea market. You never know. The first story you told me about Greg, you told me about him and he came on the set and how he punched up, made it so much better. But you said he told a story, a story about...
I think I got this right about you knew some professional athlete. You were talking about players and then your wife said... Oh, that was the Mel Brooks thing. Yes. Yeah, the Mel Brooks thing. So I got invited to a Mel Brooks tribute for AFI. It was this big thing. All these celebrities were going to get on stage and Steve Martin and Martin Short and
and Morgan Freeman and all this stuff. And I got invited to sit at a table with the guy that ran CBS at the time, Les Moonves. And I went home to my wife and I said, "Hey, we gotta go to this thing." And she's like, "I don't wanna go to the thing." And I was like, "Come on, we gotta go. It's the boss, we gotta go." And it's his wife, Julie Chin from Big Brother. And she's like, "I don't know what that is." And I said, "Well, it's this thing and we gotta go."
And she said, I don't want to go. And finally, I convinced her to go. I said, do you even know who Mel Brooks is? And she said, no. No, she goes, I know who Mel Brooks is. I know who Mel Brooks is. It's the voice of Nemo's father. I said, no, that's Albert Brooks. You don't know who Mel Brooks is. And I started to kind of give her some grief. Like, come on. Mel Brooks is a comedy hero. You should know who he is and everything. She said, oh, do you know who Pam Cuisin is?
And I said, no, I don't know who Pam Cuisin is. She goes, you don't know who Pam Cuisin is? I said, no. She said, that's your son's first grade teacher. And I said, all right. Touche. Touche. All right. Fair enough. Who's this Pam? I go, I don't know. Your best friend? Like, I think I saw her in a couple things. Some celebrity chef? I don't know. Whoever you look up to. Is she a housewife? I don't know. You're Googling Pam Cuisin. Yeah. Nothing's coming up.
That's a great story. But so, yeah, I love it. And then, so anyway, yeah, and before you, like, the funny thing is, is like you say that like, oh, I came, I helped out on the pilot, I rewrote it, I punched it up, all this stuff. It didn't get on. So maybe if I never showed up, it was fine the way it was. I blame you. I'm sorry. Yeah, I know. Yeah, 100%. I tell Daniel every day, I text you every day and go, why did you bring Greg in? He ruined it. I go, yeah, no.
No, but it was fun to see it because that was that moment where y'all, you're sitting at camera and as we're shooting it, and then you're coming up and you're like, hey, what if you try this? Say this.
Because it was like, y'all, when y'all would all say that, you're like, almost like the jokes. It doesn't really matter about the jokes. The jokes are going to be there. And then you're going to be changing them as it's happening. You got to get the bones of the story. Yeah. Right. And then also with a live audience, it's even more fun to have those alternate things because you have to shoot the whole scene again anyway. And as long as you know you got the joke great, the first take,
you don't need to do it again. Now you can throw in, pepper in some new jokes just to keep it fresh for the audience because you want to keep them entertained. They're going to have to sit there all night and everything and see things done over and over. So you'll get a bonus laugh just because it's new because all of comedy is just, you know, unexpected, right? Yeah. So that's even more fun when you have an audience to do that. Do you like multi-cam or single-cam more? Single-cam. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've done both and they both have their pros and cons, but... Yeah. And multi-cam, I don't...
I mean, I don't know. I wouldn't have known this. But, you know, Multicam was, Yes Dear was Multicam, right? Yes Dear was Multicam. I did one called The Millers with Will Arnett. That was the last one I did that was Multicam. Oh, I saw that. Yeah. That was fun. Yeah, that was a fun one. It lasted a season and a half. It kind of ran out of steam, but it was Sean Hayes and J.B. Smooth and Margo Martindale. It was a great cast. It was a really good cast. Yeah.
Yeah, and I started on multicams with Family Matters and that kind of stuff. Yeah, multicams live audience, single cams the office, multicams. Yeah, multicam looks like a play that we just shot with all four cameras at the same time, and single camera looks like a movie. What did you do at Family Matters?
That was one of my first jobs. Oh, really? Yeah, I was just a baby writer, you know, staff writer. Oh, wow. Yeah, that was one of my... I worked there for two years. I got there towards the end when, like, Urkel was going in, like, transformation chambers and turning into, like... Stefan. Stefan, yeah.
or Myrtle Urkel or whatever. And I was friends, I'd been a PA on a show called Step by Step with Suzanne Somers and Patrick Duffy. Oh man, I love that show. Yeah, so I loved it too. And then all of a sudden I'm in LA and I'm like getting lunch for the writers and stuff. It was crazy. I couldn't believe it. And my, I had a little cubicle and we kind of shared offices with Family Matters and Jaleel White who played Urkel, he was kind of,
somewhat close to my age, younger, but at least I was like 22 or something, and he was like 17 or something. And he started to come up and have lunch with me in my cubicle every day. And we were just hanging out, and I'm like, this is crazy. I'm eating lunch with Urkel every day. And so then when I got a job writing on that show, he was the first person in my new office sitting there waiting for me to congratulate me. It was very cool. Oh, that's awesome. It was very cool. Yeah, big Family Matters fan.
Yeah. You were the perfect age for it. Oh, yeah. TGIF, yeah, he was a little bit older. I was. But it was like TGIF, like that whole thing. So like was TV back then like in Hollywood? I mean, it was just like that was the biggest thing in the world, right? Yeah, and there was three networks or then maybe Fox was just starting out and stuff, right? So people didn't have the choices they have today. So when you got a show on the air, that was –
That was huge because there wasn't that much space either. You know, now, you know, not that it's easy to get a show made, but still, there's so many places that it can be. And even on Yes, Dear, we were on between King of Queens and Raymond and we would get ratings with a repeat.
That would be like the biggest thing on TV now easily on network TV. You know, I mean, just because so many people you'd get like a repeat with like 13, 14 million people watching the show. You'd get up to like 20 million. I mean, these were like now those numbers would be ridiculous.
because there just weren't as many options. And there was no TiVo in anything. It was like, you want to watch that show? You sat down on a Monday and you watched that whole block. It was an event. And you weren't going to see it again unless they repeated it later. There was no other places. There was nothing. Yeah, he didn't go YouTube the show later. There was no, yeah, that was it. No, that was it. TJF was, I mean, yeah.
Yeah, and TGIF, that was huge. That was the Friday night, you know, mostly, you know, families and kids that, you know, you didn't have to do homework because it was Saturday the next day. And that was a killer block. I mean, and then Thursdays, of course, was must-see TV block. Was it all on, was TGIF, was that just? That was ABC. ABC. Yeah.
yeah yeah that was abc i mean that was a hot block full house full house was on there yeah full house and and we all kind of worked in the same area because some of the executive producers were the same so it was full house family matters um step by step and then there was a show the first show i worked on was one called on our own which only lasted one season and that was a comedian named ralph harris and he was supposedly the oldest brother of all the smallette family which have ultimately been uh
in trouble with the law that Jussie Small left for that whole thing. Oh, really? But he was like 10 years old in this thing. Oh, wow. Did you see that coming even that young? I saw it coming. Yeah. He kept making things up. Yeah. Yeah. Did you decide before or after I arrived that even though I'm an inmate locked up in prison...
I still need a mask on my face. No, that was before. Because I was going to have you completely look like Hannibal Lecter. But people have pointed out to me that even Hannibal Lecter gets to take his mask off when he's locked up. You have me still. I've pitched for Brian to wear it on the podcast. Oh, that would be good. And it's a different looking one, too. So I didn't go full Hannibal Lecter. I picked out the one that was like a little different. A little CPAP.
I think that your character was... I was right at home. I think he was a spitter. He was a spitter. They had to do that to him all the time. That's the backstory that I had for him. It just worked out nice. They gave me this nice wrap jacket. It's a sprung here. A little note here thanking me for being... I kept this so I could sell it...
being on the show and being on set. That was very nice. I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We gave that to people. I think it was one of my kids. I gave it to one of my kids because I got a couple extra and he said, oh, perfect. A raincoat without a hood. Yeah. For those days that you want to keep everything dry but your head. That's it. He was real appreciative. That was nice. That's always nice. That's nice. I don't know. I thought I had something but I forgot.
That's something to think about that TGIF. Like, why don't you think they do that now? I mean, they still have blocks of week, but it's just, there's so much stuff on that. I mean, I know personally, I don't watch any network TV and I don't know why that is. I mean, maybe just because there's so many other choices out there and stuff. I've watched Survivor and Amazing Race, but other than that,
I don't seem to. Didn't you DVR it and then fast forward? No, I don't even have a direct TV or cable or anything. I just watch it. Where do we watch it? We probably watch it on Paramount Plus. Yeah, that's where we watch it. Yeah. Yeah, commercials are so hard for me. It's like I watch NFL Red Zone and then you flip to an actual game and you're like, oh man, so many commercials. Yeah, I don't think anybody expected you to ever say that. Yeah, me either. Yeah.
The red zone? Yeah, just you saying, I watch NFL red zone. Oh, yeah. I don't think there's – Some people just drove off the road. Yeah. They go, wait. What is happening? Yeah, so Dusty's gone and Aaron's back? No one – We've melded together. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, that came out of – I got the MLB package. What, Dusty? Well, to be fair, I did just add NFL Red Zone the other day. All right. You're new. I finally reached a place where the $9.95 a month is okay. Oh, that's good. I can do it now. Wow.
Wow. Thanks to this podcast, I'm able to do the extra 995 a book. That's why we're here. I didn't even think you liked NFL football. Yeah. It just was so cheap, he couldn't resist it. I'll take it. Why not? Well, football's really all I like. Okay. Sports-wise. So once it's gone, I'll cancel cable altogether. Okay.
Yeah, commercials are, people have different relationship with commercials because like my kids that aren't used to watching commercials, I find them like sometimes enjoying the commercials, which is weird. And then I'll see that I watch some shows, like I'll watch Better Call Saul and I want to watch that when it's on.
And I have to watch commercials. But it doesn't bother me. And this new show we're doing has commercials. Not a lot, but a couple. So it's always curious to see who will stand them or who will not. I didn't mind them in sprung. Well, they do a thing on that freebie where they're very conscious about doing less commercials than you normally see.
And it's funny, you know, when we talk about network TV and streaming and everything, the new wave seems to be commercials are coming back. You know, whether it's Hulu with commercials that you pay less for or Netflix is going to start doing commercials now. Are they? Yeah. Netflix is going to start introducing commercials, I think, probably at a lower rate.
And I did an interview for somebody and they said, hey, you know, with freebie and all these things that with commercials, it feels like this might be the future. And I said to the guy, I was like, this is the past. Yeah. Like we're just coming back to where we were before. Yeah. Except you have to pay for it. Yeah. Because they're real. Yeah. Because they're real. And like everybody in theory doesn't want commercials. But.
You look at it, you're like, but I also can't buy 50 different things. It can't sustain itself. Yeah. I mean, when you think about it, you used to have three channels. They were free with an antenna. You had a phone sitting on your wall that you paid, what, $10 a month for, and everybody used that, and that was it. Mm-hmm.
Now everybody in the house needs a phone. You got to pay for Wi-Fi. You got to pay for all these strings. I don't know how people do it. And I think it's starting to break down where people are like, we can't afford all this stuff. Yeah, it's too much. Yeah, and you got $1.99. Everything seems like you can afford it. Oh, it sounds cheap. Everything sounds cheap. Well, that's what they're saying. People with cable bills are like...
Now with the streamings, it was like cut the cord. And you're like, well, now you're spending the same amount of money. Yeah. You're spending all the money on the – you need the internet. Dusty's got that funny joke about they're just taking all the streaming services and putting them together and calling it cable. Yeah. That's what I said. Eventually, all the streaming services will be sold as a package called cable. Yeah. We're just going full circle except we're paying more than we paid for before. Yeah. Yeah. That's all that's happening. That is interesting. If they're going to go back to ads, they're going to have to –
I guess they're going to have to. I mean, well, they have to sustain. And I think they spent way too much money. And that's like that, that thing. I mean, I'm not just selling this freebie thing, but at least it's free. Like it's ads and it's free. So it's like back to network TV. Whereas Hulu, you're watching more ads and you pay for it. It's like, well, let's make a decision here. Either I'm paying for no ads or I'm not paying, you know, I'm not paying if I'm seeing ads. Yeah. That's the thing is when you pay for no ad, like I have no ads on YouTube. Um,
And that's been my favorite thing ever. If you just can pay for it and skip it or you can do whatever. But if you do like the freebie like thing, you're like, I don't mind it. Like, but then some of them when you're paying for it and they still like sneak them in. Like that was the thing I thought with Hulu was like, I was like, even if you did know, I was like, I felt like I still would see an ad.
DirecTV did it with, like, maybe it is the red zone or something where you're like, well, you're showing me an ad. Yeah. Because you want to go, I don't want to see a single ad. Right.
But they have to take a break and they have to, this stuff's going to happen. And they'll do product placement, which I don't mind product placement. We're doing it with Mellow Yellow. Well, yeah, exactly. Exactly, yeah. Well, I have a side deal. I didn't mean to talk to you about that. But I don't mind that because I feel like it just makes the show more real. I'd rather have them walk in with a McDonald's bag than a McDougal's bag because you had to like, you know, Greek it up. They call it Greek and whatever, make it look like a non-company.
And so like on, on my show, we've got tons of products. We didn't get paid for any of them. We didn't make any deals, but, um, but it's nice when you can do that if it's organic and then you can have less commercials. Yeah. You also have great music and that must be expensive because music is, music is very expensive. Yeah. That's, um, that's, uh, something that, uh,
you just kind of have to bake into the budget there. It's always been important to me, music, because I feel like it really adds a lot to the show. And sometimes I'll have a song before I even have the scene. I'll just say, I know I'm going to use this song in a scene and I'll do it that way. And I'll actually write the scene in a way that
I listen to the song as I do it, so I know I can fit in the dialogue and whatever. Like Jane's Addiction? Like the Jane's Addiction thing, yeah. And then there's one on this week's finale. There's a whole sequence of this song called Memphis Soul Stew, and that whole thing is just dictated by the song. But it's not cheap. It's not cheap. And it seems like it's good for the artist, though, because...
there's a lot of, you know, with streaming and all that stuff, they're not getting paid as much as they did, but they still get paid very well for the, for the songs. We've used one of their songs in a show. That's good. Yeah. We did. Yeah. You, you, uh,
You were the reason I did Family, Drew Holcomb, on my last special. Yeah. And I've talked to you about this new special I'm taping. I don't know if I could ever go back. The only one I didn't have was the Tennessee Kid. They make a song that kind of sounds like a song. I thought it was the Lumineers. Yeah. Yeah, it's like they make you go like, oh, I came out to Lumineers and try something like that again, and then they get someone to write it.
Like kind of play a song that kind of sounds lumineous. Because it doesn't matter, but it is. It's when you have a real song, it just is very different. It really adds just legitimacy to it. You know, I've had scenes on like My Name is Earl where it's like once you – like you throw in like a Rolling Stones song and it's just like, oh, this just kicked it up like –
to a whole nother level. Yeah. You know, you got to pay for it, but, but it, but it works. Yeah. It keeps it. That's what I, that's what I like. Let's, speaking of, we were talking about ads. Let's read some ads. All right. That kind of really worked out. You know, this is all the stuff telling you that they shouldn't have ads. I'm like, all right, here we end up. Uh,
It's a hot deal. Wow. Hot deal. I had one read I needed to do. Mellow yellow, we're still out here. We're still out here. Yeah. Nothing mellow about it. We're still doing it. Nothing mellow about it. So we kind of started off just talking about Greg, so we're going to get into the comments a little bit later. Yeah. Right now. I mean, like right now. I made it sound like it. They go, God, when are you going to do it? Right this second. So first up, Holden Afart.
A fart? A-P-H-A-R-T. Hold in a fart. Hold in a fart. I think that might be made up. Yeah, Lee, you got me. That was a good one. I was like, hold in. Oh. This was a fun episode. How about the gamble that Dave Chappelle took on himself by walking away from the Chappelle show? I'd say that one paid off. That one did.
It did. I don't know how much of a gamble. That doesn't really feel... I don't think... It wasn't that much of a gamble for him. I didn't think at the time. I mean... It sounds like a gamble because he walked from $50 million. Yeah. But he was... I mean, he already was making it. He was already Dave Chappelle. Right. He wasn't doing it to bet on himself later. That wasn't his motivation. Yeah.
He was huge already. The show had made him absolutely huge. And he knew, I'm sure he knew that no matter how much time he took off, he was going to come back and still be huge. Yeah, he was set. But I mean, I get the idea of what he's saying. Still probably scary to walk away from all that money. Yes, it definitely is, I would imagine. I would imagine. I've done it a couple times. And...
I could have $100 million. I'm good. Bryce Hockenberry. Is that another one? I'm not catching that one. No, I think that could be a real name. After a very quick Google, I discovered Adam Sandler makes all his love interest VV to keep a continuous pattern in his attempt to create a Sandlerverse.
I love that they put very in such big words as if this answers the question. But why the double Vs? And also, it's not all his love interest. He has many movies where the love interest is not VV. They're usually the same initials, I think. But still, I'm like, you had several movies. That's a lot of VVs. Vicky Valancourt, Victoria Bennett, Veronica Vaughn.
So I'm just, you know, I'm wondering why. Yeah, I'm with Dusty on this. Okay. Yeah. I'd like to know why too. I think Bryce is dismissive, I think, in this comment a little bit. I'm wondering if, you know, maybe Adam Sandler had a girl that he had a crush on that was double Vs in high school, in middle school, and it's just his shout out, you know? Yeah. Yeah.
I feel like the very really set you off on this. It's the capital very. I think that's a little, it's aggressive. It's aggressive. Other than that, you and Bryce, I think would be fine. Well, yeah. The very, I didn't care for that. This is the world today, right? You ask a question and somebody's like, oh, just Google it. And I'm like, what? You know, let's just have conversation. Let's enjoy the topic. Well, it's fun to enjoy the topic. Yeah. It's, you don't, that's talking about doing stuff and creating stuff. Like after I take this special, I got to do another hour and
And you're like, all right, I have to go do, like you said, go take cushions or whatever you're going to go do, go do them. Yeah, you're
You take a wheel back to the luggage store. Yeah, enjoy the conversation. Take a wheel back to the luggage store. Now, in defense of Bryce, we do have a computer here that we bring on just to look stuff up. So he's probably like... But it's like, yeah, but then the show just becomes, why does he do this? It's because of this. Next. It's like, you don't want it to be that. But I'm not against Bryce. Bryce looked it up. I still don't think he's really answered the question. I think it was being funny.
Very quick. Read it as funny. All right. That's hilarious. I think you may be Bryce. Yeah. No, I'm not Bryce. I have sent in comments before to this podcast under just another email address to see if they've gotten read, and I've yet to get through. Oh, wow. Brian, I brought that up to him when we were shooting The Sprung. Yeah, but I'm not going to reveal...
I may send some more at a certain point. I like it. Yeah. See if we can figure it out. We have a very tough standard here, Greg. Yeah. I was going to send one this week and I forgot to about, I was going to say after listening to last week's, I was going to say that, you know, I'm glad that the podcast has turned a corner where Nate is using his platform to ram his opinion down the road.
America's throat about college. And then I was going to say that I thought that maybe you were giving yourself a little bit too much credit that people were actually taking you seriously. That you had to come on and do this apology. Like a crazy man on the corner that like yells all the time about like, turtles are running pizza hut and getting our kids. Like one day he could come out in the corner and go, hey guys, I'm just saying this stuff. I don't know.
I hear some of you are taking this seriously. And I just, you know, live your lives. I don't know if turtles are real. They could be. Yeah, more about this turtles theory. Yeah. It's interesting. Yeah, let's go down this route. Yeah. They are running pizza. I mean, I don't have any evidence that they're not. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. They're good at keeping quiet. Yeah, where are you at on that, Bryce? Yeah. Google search on that. Maybe, yeah. Google that, Bryce.
Would you Google our turtles taking over pizza? Jen Pavlik.
Nate has gone on many opinionated rants over the course of more than 100 episodes, but I am not quite sure how people can be offended by them. He almost always ends his rant by completely changing his mind and saying the exact opposite. No matter what your opinion is on a subject, you should just keep listening. Eventually, Nate will back you up. There you go. That's kind of similar. Yeah, that's similar to my... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't... I'm trying not to be an apology. I just meant like...
It was almost like your emotions I don't want to get. Like if I'm like, well, college is, you know, you're like, all right, dude, take it. Let's calm it down. Just talk about pizzas. Pizza. Turtles getting pizzas. Yeah. I'd rather talk about that. They went from ninjas to like running a place. Yeah. Yeah. They hung it up. They got old. Yeah. Their knees started to go. Yeah. Like let's start a business. Yeah. Let's start a business. Well, they got a franchise. Yeah. Yeah. BJ Keith.
Wow. Yeah.
So the we with Vanderbilt, but I mean, you're just like talking. So you're, you know, it's, it would be, it's like, we've just accepted that it's we, I say we in a lot of stuff. I say we, if I go on stage, I'm like, oh yeah, we got a big tour. We got a big tour. Like I have a big tour, but that seems weird for me to tell people.
everybody. So I say, we, I, I get the idea, but I think it's more people like to make that joke. We, what did you do? And you're like, I'm a fan, man. I paid for a ticket. I'm that money. Go. You're like, I yelled a lot at the game. Yeah. You're like, do I think I'm literally doing something though? It's just, it's easier than saying Vanderbilt did really good today. And then try not to say we, you just say we, and, and you know what? Nashville has a soccer club and it's your town.
So why would you say we are good? We have a very good team. It's your love of the team. I totally agree. I think if you live in that town, you can say we. Yeah. Our traffic's bad. I think we use that in general about a lot of stuff if you live in that city. Yeah. You could say that to anybody. Our traffic's bad. Your traffic, I think it's...
yeah a lot of people's traffic yeah and you are you know something you're like okay well i'm just trying to not have a long conversation with you right that's where a lot of it boils down to and hey uh walker zimmerman is a player on on the you know the nashville soccer team oh i know that handy well those first two guys are incredible well now you can name he says how about we wait till you name a single player on the team before you start talking like you're on the reserve quad well there's
Here we go. Randall Leal, Sean Davis. Well, the first guy there is like MVP candidate. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. First guy's a big-time dude. I'm for we when it's your – and I would say if someone goes we, you're not doing anything. You're like, well, then we should stop talking because I'm just trying to – you know what I'm saying. I'm just trying to have a conversation about the Titans or Vandy or Nashville. I'm not trying to get into the –
That's the, you know, like on Twitter when they correct, like, you know, it's like all that kind of stuff. I get a lot of those. Just a very quick Google search has given me the whole squad here. And Vandy's off to a pretty good start, right? Well, we lost against Wake Forest, which hurt. But, yeah, the first two were two and one. I'm excited. I looked up the schedule because I was curious with my son. I looked at it and I was like, this is the most insane –
of just up and downs of who you have to play. Like, could you play like Alabama and Georgia and...
It's mostly just ups or downs compared to your perspective. I was telling my son, I said, this is like your high school basketball team playing. All right, you're playing Chatsworth next week. Then you're playing in elementary school. Then you're playing the Lakers. Then you got two guys in wheelchairs and a donkey. It's like all over the map of who you play. It's a ride. Okay. It's a ride. That's why I say we. Yeah, because you're on that ride. Because I'm on that ride.
I do give friends hard times if they support some team on the other side of the country. Yeah, I could see it. When someone's like, I always got it. I never liked that LeBron was a fan of the Cowboys and the Bulls and the Yankees. And you're like, all right, dude, you have no heartache. In the 90s, he's a fan of these. And so sometimes you're just choosing for the reason. But it's also, I'm at
At an age, I don't care anymore. My kids are mad at me because I switched teams recently. Because I grew them up. I brought them up to be Washington area, Washington, D.C. area fans of teams. So they were fans of now the Commanders. Is that the new name instead of the Redskins? They're saying the Washington area? Yeah, the Washington area team that plays football. Yeah, yeah. Oh, how are they doing? And I just switched to Chargers because I've lived in L.A. longer and I've decided that I'm switching. And my kids are not happy with me about that. Yeah. But.
Now, your buddy Tony Kornheiser pointed out when they became the commanders that no team, any team that has more than two syllables, it always gets shortened. Yeah. The 49ers or the Niners and Patriots, the Pats, whatever. Here are the Predators, the Preds.
That's going to make them the commies. Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's terrible. It's a bad name. And I know Tony hates the name. Yeah, we've talked about that. It's not a good name. I was a big fan of the Washington football team. I like that too. I like that. That I could hang on to. I was like, okay. But then when they came in the commanders, I was like, that's the emotional push away that I need to finally break away from this team and go Chargers. Yeah. Yeah.
I could see it because you're like, I can't. Justin Herbert probably helped too. Justin Herbert because my son went to Oregon. So I watched Justin Herbert in Oregon. It was the first time I ever watched college football. Really. I didn't watch a lot of college football. So I got to watch somebody go to the pros. It all lined up to become a Chargers fan. Yeah. I get that. Yeah. When they named you the commander, like the Cleveland Guardians, I bet you lost people, fans, because they're just like, I can't do this. Yeah. Yeah.
Be the Cleveland baseball. Yeah, the Washington football team is such a good name. I had a shirt that said the football team. Yeah. I was on board. I love it. So great. I was like, why? You made, your name is so good that you made every team look, yeah, why are we calling these teams the Bears? Yeah. And the, like, you're like, we should just be the Tennessee, everybody should just be like whatever they are. Yeah. And I was like, I really thought, let's be adults and change the whole thing. Yeah.
And then they're like, ah, we're the commanders now. I mean, that's essentially what soccer does. Yeah. Yeah. And it feels better because then it's your town. Yeah. Well, they lost me, so I'm sure they're upset about that. Yeah. Well, they're hearing about a guy, Milly Ilhap. Yeah. Yeah.
Bonnie Paragoy. Basset hounds are in the top 10 stinkiest dog breeds. And I can tell you as a pet care professional, 45 years, I would rank them number two after bloodhounds. Adorable puppies, but that stink just doesn't wash off. I wouldn't want to be trapped in a tour bus with one. Okay. That's good information. Yeah. I don't know if Basset hound's a good choice. Jerry Reed had one in his truck for smoking the bandit. Fred. Dog's name was Fred. Yeah.
And they went on long hauls together, but still, I don't know if Bassett Hound's a good choice. And Clint Eastwood had an orangutan that he would drive around in the truck with. Any which way but loose. Clyde. Left turn, Clyde. Yeah. Any which way you can. Have you thought about an orangutan? I mean, I haven't, and that seems great. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if you don't mind getting your face ripped off in the middle of the night, I think it's funny. Did you know the Boo Weekly? I've ever told the Boo Weekly story on this podcast? Yeah. Oh, I did. Do you know that story? I don't think I know that story.
Oh, he fought him? Yeah, yeah. I did hear that. Look up Boo Weekly and orangutan. And it's my favorite story I've ever read. Or...
Jenny Weiss, I have an urgent question. I need to get to Nate and I have surgery on Friday. I can't go under until I know. Does he say duct tape or duct tape? I say duct tape, like the animal. Yeah, I think I do too. I think I do too. Yeah, for sure duct tape, yeah. We say duct tape. I mean, I say air ducts, you know what I mean? Like there's never a duct to me. And this is stuff you talk about a lot. Yeah.
Well, usually he's wrapping his ducks with duct tape. Exactly. Just to keep them. Exactly. Keep them. Do that. He goes out. Y'all would have ducks as pets? Yeah. In Trayvon Parks? Yeah. I did have a duck as a pet for about a day. It died, but I ran it to death.
He wrapped it in tape. Well, one of my sister's boyfriends brought me a little duck, a little baby duck, and I chased it around the trailer all day. We had a great time. And that was it. It died that night. Of exhaustion? I guess so. But a lot of animals died.
you know, as pets of mine in a trailer park. Did you, would you take it inside? I think I was rough on them. Yeah, they were inside, yeah. Yeah, you probably too rough with the baby gut. Yeah, yeah. Nothing your body said. Yeah, I mean, I didn't know. There wasn't a lot of people. What's that movie where he doesn't know that he squeezes the... Oh, Mice and Men, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, nobody was like, chill out. They just, they were like, here, have another Mellow Yellow. Yeah, not a lot of PETA activists in the trailer park. Yes, yeah, exactly. Gotcha.
Being too rough with a duck and they're like, well, you're too hard. I mean, I don't even know. Yeah. How would you touch a duck to be, it's not a, you know, it's like. I think I just chased it. Yeah. Just ran into exhaustion. And I thought the duck was having fun. Yeah. But it was just fearful of its life. Yeah, probably so, yeah. Just the stress of that whole day. Some random guy has ripped it from its family and brought it to me as a pet to try to, you know. It might've been a suicide. Yeah. Yeah.
It's like basically like a Bourne movie. Like your duck just was like, never, just never got a break. He's been alive for 30 minutes. Just like, if someone's trying to kill him. There's just a giant chasing me all day. Yeah. And he's like, I just would rather die. Yeah.
Krista Wilson. You can definitely tell Nate doesn't listen to song lyrics by his choice of Cleopatra by the Lumineers as his song at the beginning of his 30-minute Netflix special. It's about an elderly woman who's dying alone because she's so overwhelmed with grief after her father died.
She refused the proposal of the man she had loved when she was younger. Now when I listen to it, I think about Nate just bobbing his head along to this depressing song. I had no idea. I didn't know that either. Now they ruined that song for me because I like that song and I would bop around to it too. I'll still bop around to it. I'm confused by an elderly woman having a dad. How old was that guy?
Early woman who's dying alone because she's so overwhelmed, griefed after her father died. That's a good point. That is true. Maybe the grief just lasted a long time. She refused the proposal of the man she had loved when she was younger.
I don't know this song, so I can't. I mean, it seems like a family that could be a bit of a mess. Yeah, I think so. You know. I think so. Yeah, if you really break it in, the whole family are just kind of like, what are y'all doing? Like, she's alone because she refused a proposal. Yeah, she's elderly, and she goes, I can't get over my father dying. Well, he's 105. Yeah, right. Yeah.
I mean, you know, it's like none of us are going to get over when your father dies, but it's, when they're, you're elderly. Yeah. And then the guy, neither one of you got married. You loved him when you were younger. And then he said, I just can't, my dad died. And that guy was like, I don't even, what are we even doing? And then he went back to his nursing room. He goes, what? What?
It feels like an excuse. I mean, the guy's like, you mean the guy that was 112 years old? We can't get married because of that? We're 84. It's now or never. Like, you ever see an old person and they go, yeah, I got to take my mom to the store? You're like, what? Mind-blowing. Mind-blowing. You just want to follow them for the whole day. We graduated. We're the class of 49.
Let's move on. Just an old class. Thank you. I'm class of 97. That seems old. Andy King. Rumor has it Hotel California is about an insane asylum. I believe that. Do you? Yeah. Check in but never leave. There you go. That makes sense. Yeah. Jesse Pope. Hotel California is a metaphor for the music industry in Los Angeles.
Okay. All right. Everybody has their theories. Yeah. Do they never say what it is? I don't think so. I think they, well, they've thrown out some vague kind of, not specifically. I think they've had a few theories. But do you think that when they write the song, they're even, it's like- I think they purposely kept it somewhat vague for this reason. Yeah. Yeah.
I think there's a comment later that kind of... But all these guys are like music superstars that make up the Eagles. Yeah. So I'm like, how mad are they at the LA music scene? Yeah. I mean, they're like...
They're crushing it. Well, yeah, that's a big, like in Hollywood, they're like, oh, it's a disgusting scene. You're like, yeah, it's going pretty good for you. You're still cashing the checks, aren't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I think it's funny that Alan Jackson and George Strait had a song about murder on music row talking about how, you know, they're like, Haggard and Jones wouldn't stand a chance. And then they proceed to make music for like 30 years saying, Haggard and Jones wouldn't have a chance, but we're crushing it. Yeah. It was George Jones, wasn't it?
Alan Jackson and George Jones? Alan Jackson and George Strait. Oh, it was George Strait. Yeah. And what do you mean? They have a song, They Committed Murder on Music Row, and I think they're kind of talking about the state of country music. But that song was probably out in the early 2000s, late 90s. Oh, like saying like, yeah, the real country guys wouldn't stand a chance because it's all watered down. Yeah. But this song is rising through the charts. Right. They're the two biggest stars in the world. Yeah, and then they make music for another 20, 30 years. Yeah.
Isn't that what the movie Nashville is about, which I've never seen? Do you know? I've never seen it. Oh, there's a movie Nashville? Mm-hmm. Like from the 70s or something? Oh, no. No, that's not that one with River Phoenix and Anthony Clark. That's a different one. I don't think so. I think it's an older movie. Okay. Isn't there a new show coming out too? Monarch. Monarch. Monarch, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a new one. Ozarks and every show, you know.
I just see the commercial. Every show is just like family. High drama. Yeah. It's like Nashville meets. The thing they say, Nashville meets Successions and Empire. Yeah, that's what they're saying. Well, Trace Adkins shared my 5 O'Clock Somewhere video, so I'm a big supporter. You like it. Yeah, I'm a big supporter. Yeah, yeah. We're a big fan. Trace Adkins is a big fan of that show. I like Trace Adkins. I do like Trace Adkins a lot. I hope he does great. I can't wait to watch his show.
And he was almost Earl. And my name is Earl Trace Atkins. No way. Yep. He came into my office for eight hours on a Saturday and we worked the scene and I was trying to teach him how to act and everything. And he was doing good. And then it got to the point where he was going to audition for the network and
And he had to sign a contract. And he came over and he goes, Greg, man, this is seven years of my life. I can't just sign this thing like this. I don't think I can go in there, man. That's such a great trace. I said, all right, man. I said, if you can't do it, you can't do it. But he loved the script. And just as an excuse to do my trace Atkins again, because you said you liked it. He said, this Earl guy, man, I feel him. I feel him. His ex-wife's trying to kill him. My ex-wife shot me in the heart, Greg.
It's a true story. He told me that story. Yeah. Yeah. It's unbelievable. And then he called me when he was on The Apprentice. He called me. So you are not going to tell the story?
I don't know the story other than that she shot him in the heart. Well, I was- Like literally. Yeah, literally shot him in the heart. I was supposed to open for Trace at the Missouri State Fair and then it was storming, so we couldn't do the show, but we- The story's tracking. Go ahead. So we sat on his tour bus for a few hours and then he tells me that his first or second wife comes at him with a gun and he does something and she shoots him in the side.
And it goes all the way through his body, like through his lungs, through his heart. Like he almost died. Wow.
And then he got married like two more times after that. He just gave it a go. He's like, I'll keep doing it. Yeah. You got to get out there. It's like driving to take those cushions. Yeah, exactly. You got to get out there and experience life. He's a good actor. I saw a movie he was in, Old Henry. He was good in that. Oh, yeah. And I'm sure he's good in this show. Lincoln Lawyer, the movie. He's a biker in there. That's right. Yeah, he's good in that as well. He's been acting for a while. Yeah.
Yeah, I told him I named my youngest son Trace, and he was like, I don't know if I can live up to that kind of pressure, Greg. I said, well, it was more just a joke because my last name is Garcia and he's the third one, so it sounds like Trace Garcia in Spanish. But we did name him Trace. Which we do appreciate you coming on and getting a little diversity. Sure. No problem. De nada. De nada. Hey, guys. Steven Bargetzi.
Oh, boy. How did you guys not know Hotel California is about doing drugs, mainly LSD? Maybe it's heaven or hell, a trip. You can check in but never leave. Come on, man. Well, the dead, let me tell you, Al, you didn't allow me to listen to anything. That's how I don't know. Let alone take LSD. Yeah, right. I mean, maybe we would have been a little bit more liberal with the drug rules. Yeah, dead. Maybe remember who you're writing a comment to.
You were in charge of me. Yeah. And I was never allowed to listen to the Eagles. It kind of feels like he had very strict rules and now he's calling you a nerd. It is. It's a little aggressive. Like, what's wrong with you, nerd? You don't know anything about acid? I'm sorry I did what you told me to do.
My dad, I mean, my dad was wild and he's got an amazing story, obviously, with all that stuff. But yeah, he says stuff and I'm like, you weren't. This must be reassuring for your dad, though, to write this comment to be like, all right, he never did those things. Yeah. Good job. Yeah, yeah. This is your dad saying, good job. It's about doing drugs. Maybe it's heaven or hell, a trip. You can check in, but never leave. Come on, man. Yeah. All right.
My dad just had back surgery. Oh, yeah? Yep. How's he doing? He's doing good. Got rid of his back. And we got to the problem. He's just a lump on the floor now. I go, this spine is... Yeah. He posted a video, I guess, recovering. He said, had two surgeries, one on the front, one on the back. But he never says what the surgery is or anything. So you just have to kind of guess. Yeah. He doesn't always explain everything. And he does it...
And the hard part is it's on an open Facebook post. And then he's... People are like, what? Yeah, he had back surgery. He made a walk to the dumpster. We were pretty excited about that. And that's where he lives now. And yeah, no, he's doing great. And I'm going to have him... He can't do anything until January. So everybody...
I'm letting all of us, everybody that listens to this, my dad can't go do shows or anything until January because he will still try. But we are... Don't call him. You're asking people, don't call him. Please don't call him. Don't hang out by the dumpster with an offer. Yeah. Don't walk around like a guy. So don't knock on the dumpster and he's going to open the door and then you go, you want to do like 30 minutes tonight? Where he has to stay home. He has to... Or he can't go do shows.
And he'll start back up in January. Wake and bake now. The Eagles stated that Hotel California is about the materialism of California being sucked into the Hollywood musical entertainment beast system and how the industry is basically like selling your soul for fame metaphorically. And it runs people into the ground.
You crushed that comment. You really did. Yeah. Thanks. Well, that's one I wrote. But again, I agree with Dusty. That's a little bite in the hand that feeds you there. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of that either. It's like there's a lot of that where I'm not a fan of telling someone don't do something, and that's where that comes from. There's a lot of that. Should I get into comedy and someone's like...
Do yourself a favor, don't get into comedy. It's like, yeah, get into it. Maybe you are the one that makes it. I don't know. It's that same kind of idea. Should I go do, can I go chase my dreams like you? No. It brings your soul. You're like, I think your own soul has got some problems if you can't. Yeah, I had a guy that told me to turn around when he read my script when I was heading out to L.A. He was a writer.
He said, turn around. You don't need to come out here. I don't think you got it. But in retrospect, I think people that do that, they're worried about you taking their jobs. They're not secure enough. That's a giant thing. Yeah. And not like they're specifically looking at you going, you're going to take my job. It's the idea that they're trying to say it's hard. I think that's with...
I think there's a lot of that in Hollywood where they just don't. And the people that create the shows don't want their jobs taken. Not the creator, but I mean the networks and stuff. So the people that run the networks and they make these decisions, they're like, well, I'll just do Tom Hanks again because I don't want to lose my job. So then no one's a risk taker. And then that's where you're at.
You know, we had risk takers back then. That's how you got TGIF. Exactly. Family Matters. Exactly. Transformation Chambers, all that stuff. All that stuff. Victor Kazushi. If you plan to have any other guests, would they appear with all four of you or would it only happen if one of you is out? Five people talking at once just seems like a lot. Yeah.
The hard part is Aaron is just in the other room. He keeps peeking in, which is distracting. Come on in here. It's very distracting. We made our choice. Yeah. You should have at least told him I was coming.
Aaron? Yeah, because I feel bad that he's just sitting out there. No, he needed to see it. He goes, wow, what's Greg doing here? We're having him do the security role. He's standing out there with a gun. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He had the same look on his face as Laura when I walked into your house with a suitcase. Yeah. Oh, you're staying here. I go, yeah. She goes, oh.
yeah that's fine and i was like no he's i got told you know i got told you he lives here i talked to him yeah i'm going through a rough patch i go greg can you come over when you talk to you in front of everybody i go laura he's here already he's looking at me she's over there putting sheets on the helix mattress right now yeah
The hard part she's going to have is when I tell her I leave Thursday and Greg's still staying. Well, I'm going to stick around. Yeah, there you go. I saw some things around the house I feel need to be done. Yeah. Yeah. You'll walk around and go, what's going on? A couple chores. Yeah. A couple chores. A couple things. Some squeaky doors. I brought my tools. There you go. Yeah. You got to live life. This week, I think we kind of found something fun to talk about. Yeah. We came up with, do you want to say the title? Yeah.
You came up with this title. I did. Robin Hood and Prisons.
We were talking about what we could talk about. Everything I threw out, he's like, Greg doesn't know anything about that. And he's like, Greg doesn't know anything about that. And we're like, all right, we just got to stick to Greg's little narrow. That's all I know. His show's about guys getting out of prison, but it's about a guy who robs from the bad people and gives the good people. So Nate said, let's do Robin Hood in prison. Yeah. And I was saying, my name is Earl's little...
some karma in there, some like doing good things. And yeah, so that's definitely in my wheelhouse. I like it. All the shows, all your shows are the same shows. Exactly the same. I just different, different named characters, but everything else is the same. People should be the, a lot of, do you have any of that?
I don't think I have any VV kind of stuff. I mean, I do give nods to my past shows sometimes in the new shows. That's how Raising Hope started, right? Yeah, Raising Hope had a little ad. Oh, no, a news guy in the background talking about Earl finishing his list and stuff like that. Or I'll name the same counties that they all kind of live in the same fictitious fictitional. I think I just made up a word. Yeah, I like it. It's contagious being here. You walk out...
You miss your flight home. Yeah, like what? I never did stuff like this. What's happening? Yeah, I'll put the same cities and stuff like that. Little nods. I like the idea that Jamie Presley is the same character from Joe Dirt. This is just her life that we don't see. Yeah, I like that. I can see that. I can see that for sure. Was Joe Dirt first? Joe Dirt was first. Yeah. And it was not the...
I just like the idea that we only see her a little tidbit in that movie. So this is her real life. Yeah. This is what she blossomed into. Yeah, she's so funny. She's hilarious. She's one of those actors that came in. We were doing auditions and she came in and she said like one line and you're like, well, everybody else can go home. Yeah. This is hers. No question asked. Yeah. She's a hoot. Yeah, yeah. That's awesome. So I think we talked about this in the Middle Ages episode. Robin Hood probably wasn't a real person.
Probably. We don't know for sure. There are some people back in the 14th, 15th century that they said kind of fit the tale, but basically it's been around since then. Different variations of the story of robbing from the rich to give to the poor. It probably doesn't help that he's robbing from the rich and his name is Robin. Yeah, it's a giveaway. Robin Hood almost. Seems like he's taking from the poor. Yeah. I don't think they had the...
The hood then? Maybe. The hood then. Yeah, okay. Maybe not. Yeah, yeah. They called it that. Yeah. But we don't know. The neighborhood. The neighborhood. Yeah. He's robbing the neighborhood. Yeah. That's true. Wonder what his middle name is. Cool sack. I mean, I've got some cases of some modern day robbing hoods, but do you guys think there's ever a situation where it's okay? To rob from? Bad people or rich people? Rich. Yeah. I don't have a problem with it.
Yeah. You know, it's funny that like, yeah. Watch your stuff, Nate. Yeah. You should never steal. And then the older you get, you're like, I don't care. Yeah.
Obviously, I don't think you should. No, in real life, it's probably not something to root for and see. But when you're watching something like this, which if Robin Hood was made up, there's just some wish fulfillment to it. It's nice to think about and hope to see what happens. The justice of it. Someone did a big heist of a corporation. They have movies like this, and you're kind of like, yeah, I don't think anybody should be doing any of this stuff anymore.
You don't want people to do this stuff, but some of them you could be like, all right. I think there's a difference too in stealing from people that are doing bad things and that are rich. So you feel like they deserve it more as opposed to just a random, just I'm going to go take from that person because they have more. Right. Because I'm not a big fan of that. I used to work at Office Depot and then I would, they had all these packs of 12 pens and I would open them and take one.
And I thought it was a real victimless crime. And then my friend was like, yeah, some kid right now is probably getting woofed at home for losing one of those pens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I thought, oh, man. So I really felt bad about it. And I'm not for stealing. That's going to be the first episode of My Name Was Earl, I think. Yeah. We're going to go back and we're going to return those pens. Yeah. You're taking...
I just thought, oh, there's so many in here, 12, that no one will notice. Was it the package torn open? It was the box. It was a little box. All you had to do was open the box and pull one out of there. But I thought, well, I'm poor, and this is a major corporation. I only ever stole a little bit.
But now I feel bad about it. I don't steal at all. I can't do it. I don't support it. That's good, man. Even to steal from Walmart to give to someone else. It's like, if you want to be charitable, buy it and then give it to them. Yeah. Don't be like, oh, I'm giving you this. But it was really no sacrifice on your end.
Yeah, you got to – it's the idea – if you steal something at Walmart, you're not really getting anything. You're either someone – a regular person like you is going to get in trouble or going to have to fight you or going to have to do something. It's –
Yeah, the corporation is not- Well, they're just going to raise the prices. Yes. Right. Because at the end of the day, they're going to make the same amount of money. So they factor in the shoplifting. And so if it's high, they're going to raise the prices more. And then people are just going to pay more for the other products. So I was saying you got to go to the top is what we're saying. Yeah. Am I reading everybody right? You got to find Johnny Walmart. Yeah. Go to his house. Yeah. Don't waste your time at your local Walmart. Yeah. Put some thought into this. Right. And who's to say who's bad and who's not bad? Right.
Yeah. Yes, that's true. That's true. I mean, when you're writing a TV show, it's very easy to just cater it to you paint somebody in a certain light and whatever. In real life, you don't know what people are really doing, what appears to bad, what other good things are they doing. You just don't know that kind of stuff. You don't know. That's why I'm not on Facebook.
because I learn things about people that I didn't know about them and then I end up not liking them anymore. Or people that I don't like, I see things that would make me like them and I don't need that either.
I don't need that. I've already decided I don't like that person. I don't need to see them volunteering on the weekend. It confuses me. I like where we're at right now. I know. I have my preconceived notions, and I'm sticking with that. It is tough when that happens. You don't like someone, and you see something, and you go, dang it. Now I like a person. Dang.
Dang, don't do that. Stop being a nice guy. I have my mind made about you already. That's why I just don't get on that Facebook. Yeah, that's good. There's people separate. Go ahead. There was a guy called the Environmental Robin Hood because he would just mess with companies that were doing bad stuff to the environment. He called himself the Fox because he saw on the Fox River that Dial Soap Company was polluting the river. They found dead ducks and
Well, that could have been you, Dustin. Yeah, I was just dumping them out there. Yeah. I mean, that's where, would you bathe in a river? Yeah, I mean, I've swam in the river. You rub off. Yeah. You know what I mean? Do you need a shower? You go, I don't think so. Yeah, I've been in the river all day. I've been in the river all day. Yeah.
He found like greasy, crimple slime in the river. So he would go block their drain pipes and just put trash in there. He, uh, dumped some dead skunks on their door. He would just do all these things just to mess with them. Uh,
all these different companies that were polluting rivers. Did he at least like leave a note as to why they were doing, why he was doing it so they, it could maybe have some effect or they're just like, there's more dead skunks. Where's he getting these dead skunks? Yeah. It was roadkill. He would find roadkill. He would sign, it said he would sign things to Fox and leave that at the scene. But I don't know if he specifically wrote out what it was. Then it's just confusing. They're like, where's this Fox learning to write is the big question. Yeah.
Yeah. Wow. I mean, he's apparently killing skunks. That adds up. He brings it to a door. That adds up. Animals tend to do that. They're like, we've been polluting the lake, and these foxes are getting smart. Let's keep doing it. Do they have money? Did they steal this pen from the office depot? How is this all happening? They would track you down to make sure you were not supplying the fox with a pen.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's, it all links up. It all, yeah. There was a pastor in LA called, they called him the Black Robin Hood. He helped 18,000 inner city students go to college over 15 years. Oh, wow. He said 98% of them got a degree, but he was fibbing their financial aid form. And it's kind of like we talked about on the college episode where people were faking. He was having them sever their legal ties from their parents and
So it would look like they're out on their own and, and he would get, they'd get more financial aid. Or if one of the parents made more money than the other one, he would, uh,
Just say, pretend like that parent's not around. I take exception with calling this guy the Robin Hood. Because it seems to me that he's just... He's robbing from poor people. Because the people that really deserve the financial aid, that didn't have to lie on their forms, now aren't getting the financial aid. So I think he's a little too high and mighty to be calling himself Robin Hood in this situation. But he's...
But poor people are getting to go because he's like with the financial aid. Yeah, but why does he have to fake? Yeah, yeah. If he has to fake the documents, it means that there are other people that are more in need that are not getting it because he's faked the documents. He's robbing from the poor to give to the poor. He's robbing from the poorer to give to the little less poor. Yes.
It's the way I'm hearing it. I say we get this guy. Well, they got him. Okay, good. Yeah, they got him. He went to prison and had to give back about $750,000. Wow. But he would only get them to apply to prestigious colleges. That seemed like, come on, just get in college. Yeah, I don't know. It just sounds like he's working the system to help out some people. But he took no money for himself. He did this all just to help these kids get in college. The heart's there.
The heart's there. He feels very much for somewhat poor people, but not actual poor people. That's like one that I feel like if you're with him and he told you this, you're like, dude, I get, first of all, I get it. All right. I get what you want. Like, that's how you'd have to start the conversation. He's like, I'm thinking about doing this. You're like,
Yeah. I know where your heart is. I know where your heart is. I just don't think you've thought this all the way through. It doesn't make total sense to me. See, that's my situation in a sense, right? Because I live with my mom. My mom lived in a trailer and that was who I lived with. So I applied for this Pell Grant and...
And they were like, well, we need your dad's info too. But my dad had more money, but my dad was not paying for me at all. So I'm like, well, he's not helping. Why are you needing his info? Yeah.
And so it's like, if I could have been like, oh, he's not around, maybe I could have. I don't know. Now I'm reading this, I'm like thinking he- But I don't think there's anything morally wrong with that because you know that he's not helping you. The option wasn't, I'm going to get money from dad from college or this. You weren't trying to work the system. So I think in that instance, I'd be like, yeah, just say- If you're raised by your mom, do they make you go find? You're like, what if you're like, I don't know my dad. Yeah. I mean, I knew him. Yeah. I don't want to-
I don't want people that know me to be like, no, I know your dad. You were there a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I- No, no, I'm not saying you would. Right. But like, why would they be like, well, we need to see your dad's thing? Because some people could be like, I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, I don't know. That's just, I remember them doing that to me. And I was like, and there was no one around me going, oh, just do this or this.
I was just like, okay, then. I think they have to be extra careful because there's guys like this other guy working the system. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it's coming back on Dusty. Yeah. Because they're like, we know how this works. Matter of fact, this guy affected me. Yeah. Wow. So Dusty couldn't get to college. He was the real victim. Wow.
Well. Yeah. Or you should have got with this guy. Yeah. He did all black students, one white guy. Yeah. In Alabama. In Alabama, Dusty Slay. He was all like that guy. Yeah. I could have been. I could have went to Harvard. Yeah. They're like, did he graduate? No, he's the 2% that did. But I liked him. But he went. It was a good three weeks for him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He had a fun time. There was a hacker who would hack into companies and steal money and give it to the poor. Like he would steal Bitcoin and then give it to some group that's fighting ISIS and stuff like that. Or he would hack into government that were doing what he thought was shady practices and share stuff with WikiLeaks.
I mean, some people think Julian Assange and Edward Snowden are like Robin Hood in a sense for what they're doing. Yeah. Exposing stuff. But that's another example of like, he wasn't keeping it for himself. He was stealing stuff and helping out poor people. Yeah. He was hacking. Yeah. It's always a little dicey though when people...
take it on themselves like they're some kind of superhero that they're going to go out and do this thing. So, yeah. Become a vigilante? Yeah. I mean, that's what all superheroes are essentially, right? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, they go out and figure it out and do it on their own. It is tough, though. But, I don't know. Some of this stuff's good. If they do it, I feel like it can make them change or...
Make the company change or shakes the system up. I'm all for karma and justice. I'm all for that and finding little ways to punish somebody for doing something bad if you can. Yeah. Especially if it's a fun kind of like prank way. You know, just to satisfy your own soul. Put a dead skunk up there. Yeah, that's right. Most of these guys end up getting caught and going to prison. And then once you're in prison, there's a thing called toilet talk. You guys heard of this?
Yeah, I mean, it starts to show. Yeah, we do that in Sprung. So, do you know this, Dusty? No. What did you call it? Toilet talk. No. It's basically where if you're on different floors of this prison, you can talk through the pipes. Okay, yeah. Flush your toilet and...
People have relationships and stuff. I think there was a documentary on Netflix called Jailbirds or something like that where they do it and it became a popular thing. Yeah, I had seen it on a documentary called Locked Up. And I saw people talking through the toilets and that's why I ended up using it on the show. I don't really understand how it works to get the – like how do you get a toilet completely –
Empty? Empty. That I don't understand because you flush it, it just fills back up again. That's the mechanics of it that I don't really understand, but they do it. They scoop it back out. Maybe they had to scoop the water out. Well, that's how we did it. Yeah, we had them scooping it out, but then you would still think that most of the pipes would be filled with water. Yeah, that's true. I don't know how that works. Do they have the knob at the bottom?
Like in your home where you can turn the water off? I guess, but I'd still think the pipes at the bottom. I can't see them giving them that kind of control. But it definitely works. I mean, this was a documentary. They're talking to each other. They're listening. But then they also flush notes through, and then the notes will come up in the other person's toilet and everything like that. They have all these ways to communicate. It's very interesting. Yeah, I saw in that documentary they take a clothesline or something and
like send stuff down and somehow they could pass stuff back and forth. Yeah. They'll grab it. And yeah. Did, uh, is it that this one is a female, is there prisons, male and female? Um, yeah, there was on this show, there was definitely a prisons on different floors, different, uh, different sexes. Yeah. Yeah. And that's why they were having relationships. These, these people were having relationships with each other. They had never seen each other, but they send pictures through the, through the toilet system and stuff. And, and that, and, and really that's how they, uh,
There's prisons that, I didn't know prisons like co-ed. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Just different floors. And they don't ever let them even near each other. No, I think in the one I was watching, sometimes if you have a work detail, you may work among the other people, the inmates, once in a while, but I'm sure they keep a pretty good eye on it. But yeah, they're in there together. Wow. Yeah.
Being in a prison, we've done prison shows and then shooting it. It's pretty intimidating just being in there. Yeah, the prison we used was just a closed down prison. It had been closed down for a long time, but it is spooky in there. Prison terrifies me. Yeah, it's spooky. And the interesting thing is the guy that was our location guy that was taking us around to all the different ones, and we looked at a couple prisons and we picked that one. He walked in there and told me that he used to visit his father in that prison when it was still an active prison. So I just kind of watched him just kind of soaking it all in. That was wild.
That was wild, but it is spooky. Yeah, it terrifies me. I don't want any part of it. Yeah. Yeah, just being locked up. Yeah. I think with the claustrophobia, you're like, how do you not? You have no control. It's weird. You sit in there and you just start picturing like, what if this was my every day of just sitting in here?
And just all the common areas. And you're just like, man, what happened in here? You know, it's spooky. Well, when I walked in, the very first scene was a fight scene. So you just I just see two guys just yelling and going at each other. It's pretty scary. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was fun. We shot that. Yeah.
bunch of stuntmen and at first the guy comes to me the stuntman and he's like yeah the fight scene it's budgeted out it's going to be about $250,000 I was like what he's like yeah I got about 50 guys planning on coming in from LA and I'm like no no no I said we gotta figure it out we're gonna have six people fighting it's gonna be the same six people with a bunch of different fights and it worked out with editing and I wanted to cost $400
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. I got $400. $50 each. That's it. And two cushions. And two cushions. That's the lab. Yeah. And that's it. Now, we talked on here a couple weeks ago about the Supermax prison where 23 hours of solitary confinement. Would you choose a roommate or not if you had the option? That's a tough call, right? Because you don't get to pre-screen your roommate. I think I would choose a roommate. I just would roll the dice. I mean, if you're going to be in a room for 23 hours a day,
That's a lot to be alone. And I mean, even if they're crazy, there's some entertainment value there, I would think. I mean, but yeah, it's a roll of the dice, right? It is. They'll get on your nerves quick. Yeah, absolutely. I feel like you can just talk to the person next to you. Or down the toilet. Or down the toilet. Yeah, I guess so. You could yell over to the person next to you. You could do that.
Yeah. All right. I'm going to think about it more. I'll get back to you. Yeah, get back to us on that. Yeah, because if you got somebody that you just couldn't handle, I mean, it would drive you. It's like, yeah, obviously being alone is bad. And if you could get someone that you really like, great. It's a win. But if you got somebody you hated. It's such a gamble. Yeah. Yeah, and the gamble is everybody in there is bad. Right.
Right. Yeah, there's not a lot of good choices. You're not picking people out from Bed Bath & Beyond. Right. Your options are the prison. You know, now that you've pointed that out, I'm going to go solo. Yeah. Yeah, could be a nice guy, but also a psychopath. Right. Would you just say, what did they say? Tell you the crime.
Yeah. And then you could go, okay. I could narrow it down, yeah. But it's like I helped people get into college when they really shouldn't have. Like, all right, I think I can be – I don't know if we'd be friends on the outside, but I'll maybe take you as – There's a chance that guy could be the most annoying. Like if it was one of these Robin Hood guys where you're kind of like – you would just – someone that's – you're like, I don't – you know, I don't know. Yeah, he keeps trying to get you to sign up for things. You're like, no, no. He's like, no, I know a way to –
Or like Charles Manson. He seems like a fun guy. You know what I mean? But he also convinced people to kill people. So you're like, I don't necessarily want to be friends with this guy because, you know, he may get in my head. Just heads up. Dusty Slay said that. Yeah.
But you listen to him. He seems, I mean, like. He's musical. He sings. Yeah, he was a songwriter. Yeah, he hung out with the Beach Boys a bit. You could talk a little bit. It'd be a conversation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he'd keep things lively. Yeah. He'd keep things lively. He'd done a lot of drugs. Does he snore? Yeah. You know, I'd want to know that. Does he snore?
That's almost as important as the crime. I think you have to accept that you're going to be in his cult too. Right. Because a guy like that, those guys are so charming that they can make someone do that. Once he walks in, you're like...
I'm joining his thing. I think just it will make life easier if it's just the two of you for 23 hours that you just tell him you bought into all of this stuff. Yeah. You just hang on to every word. I'm fine with it. Yeah. I would go with whoever. That's what I do with Dusty. And then he's like, I'm going to need you to carve an X on your forehead. And you're like, well, I'm here for a while. I guess I'll do it. There's time to heal, right? Yeah. Are you going to do it?
I was asking that. Yeah. Can I see you do it first, Charles? Yeah. You're like, Chuck, come on, Chuck. I'd be like, dude, I'm in the Q-Dogs, not just the airline. Yeah, yeah. Well, they said that Al Capone was obviously a big trouble in any prison. Then they sent Alcatraz and it broke him. And he ended up joining the Alcatraz band, played banjo, just to kind of fill in. Yeah.
Yeah, he said something like, you know, this place. He knew he was done for there. Yeah, because it was just so... I think they sent people there who were trouble at other places just to kind of rehabilitate them, like, just to behave. It wasn't necessarily the worst criminals, but it was the most troublemakers. The craziest. Yeah. And they had a band, though. Apparently. Yeah. All right.
There's a bunch of people try to escape Alcatraz. There's only one time where they haven't found the bodies and they think they just drowned, but they never found the bodies. Excuse me. So there's, uh, there's some guys who claim that, uh, that they successfully escaped and they, they, uh,
Found a fingerprint and DNA evidence in 2016 of a guy who was then would have been 83 years old that, uh,
They can't swear that it's him, but they think they may have made it. The movie Escape from Alcatraz, starring Clint Eastwood, is based on these guys. So they took some human hair from wherever the barbershop is and put it in the bed and pulled it up and made it look like they were bodies asleep. And then they took a bunch of raincoats. I guess, I don't know where they got all these raincoats, made a raft with it. And then they...
They think they made it maybe to the mainland. And would they dig out of their cells? Yeah, they had like a spoon or something and they sharpened it. Like Shawshank too, huh? And Doug... He got that in like... I was trying not to say that. Yeah, I haven't seen Shawshank. Oh. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. I know it just came out and everything. I apologize. 30 years ago. Yeah, I just remember a scene from that where they got things in through the boot heel. Yeah.
In Escape from Alcatraz. I've never seen the movie. Oh, yeah. It was good. It seems like the latest way to break out of prison is just romance, that they find a female guard that they romance. That just happened. Just happened. Yeah, just happened, and then they did that. It happened another time, and they did that show on Showtime about it. It seems like that's the... People are like, I'm done digging. That's the route I would take. Yeah. Let's just see if I can. Yeah, just really give it a go. Just right away. I think you could befriend someone
And then just like, I mean, yeah, that guy with that girl. Yeah, you got to. I think that's a long game, though, right? You can't like flirt a little bit and then like day two be like, hey, what do you say we get out of here? Maybe you got to. I'd get friend zoned. Yeah. It wouldn't work. Yeah. We just become pals. She's like, listen, you're nice and all, but I'm not going to break you out of here. Your roommate gets out. Yeah.
He steals my girl. Yeah. And you're like, why don't I get, but I can't come with y'all. And they go, it's just, someone's got to stay back. It feels like a third wheel. He goes, I don't know if you're going to make it. You're a nice guy. He goes, there's a lot of high grass out there. There's not even like Alcatraz. He goes, there's high grass. There's chiggers. Uh,
There's an interstate. It's five lanes. I go, what? You think you can cross that? We don't know when we're going to be able to stop to eat. Because I watch it on an escalator and I'm like, what are you? I go, this guy can't. Look at him. He can't. He can't head on the outside. He can't handle the outside. He's better off. You're better off here. Yeah.
I would definitely be Brooks from Shawshank. Yeah. Yeah. All right, don't say anything. I don't want to ruin anything. Now that I know there's a Brooks. Yeah. No use in watching. Well, there was a guy in a Brazilian prison whose wife would come to visit him, and he had, I guess...
they had some alone time or something. She brought her, him, the clothes that she was wearing. And then she changed in some other clothes that was in her purse. And then he put on her dress, put on, shaved his arms and legs, put on fake nails, put on a wig, lipstick heels, and walked right out of the prison.
But then a police officer noticed someone outside really struggling walking in the hills. And that's why he gave them away. Oh, she just should have brought flats. Yeah. Yeah. A free man. Yeah, why would you bring hills? Yeah, bring. Yeah, that's a good point. I guess to really sell it. Sell it. Really to sell it. But it's like, yeah, just be like, give me some flats. Yeah. I guess. Dusty, look up Ronald Silva. There's a photo of him in this getup. Yeah.
Just to show. And does that girl go to prison? I don't know if she went to prison. I think she did get in trouble. She claimed she didn't know what he was up to. Yeah. But it's hard not to. There he is right there. Hot.
Yeah. Yeah. Look at Ronald. Yeah. I mean, do people make it out? Like, if you escape, are they ever? It seems like no one ever successfully escapes. You know what song I do know? What's that Blue Tick Hound country song? Oh, yeah. Old Red. Old Red. I do know that story. What's that? That's the only song I know about. Blake Shelton. Old Red. Come on, somebody. Why don't you run?
Yeah, it was a prison that it's the only song I know about lyrics. And it was a prison and they had, I don't think they had fences. And it's like they would be, the guards would be like, yeah, go ahead and run. Because they had dogs that would be able to track you. You're in the middle of nowhere, you never make it. And so Blake Shelton, our singer, he would walk one of the dogs. It was a blue tick hound or something.
And he walks the dog. And what he does is he has... He'd take him on this big walk in the woods. I mean... Had a nose that could smell a two-day trail. Had a nose... Yeah. Four-legged tracking machine. Yeah. And then... So... And then he gets his buddy to bring another dog. And so when the... Those dogs would meet and like, you know, like they...
Those dogs loved each other. So one day he runs, and then they send Old Red to go get him. And when he's running this way, he knows Old Red is running to the other dog. And then he got out, and he was able to write this song. He says, love got me in here, and love got me out. All that's in a song. I'm surprised you don't know that song. I don't know a lot of modern country. That's Blake Shelton's like. I don't think it's super modern.
yeah, I mean, it's, I know old country, but I don't know. Night, oh, uh,
2001. Yeah. Well, that's not modern, but it's modern by my standard. I know the 80s and 90s country, but I kind of stopped. Didn't you kind of, 9-11, you kind of shut it down? Yeah. Your father just texted me that said that that song's actually about an LSD trip. He's like, come on, man. Yeah, he goes, come on. I'm like, dude, dad. It's got nothing to do with prison. Yeah. He goes, there is no dog. Dude's flipping out at Woodstock. That's all. He's on the ground. There is no dog. It's hallucinating. There's no dogs.
But like these guys, I mean, if you, I don't know if you're about to, are you going to read a successful one or? No, I don't think, I think they always eventually get caught. I think that they would suppress the successful ones. Well, we talked about the, I'm drawing a blank on his name, the guy who jumped out of the airplane. D.B. Cooper. D.B. Cooper, yeah. Yeah, there's the documentary on that. Yep. It's, yeah, you don't hear about him getting out. I mean, I just, it's like, how do you get out?
And then where do you go? I think these guys, I think you could get out, but it's like you have to have a major plan when you get out. You got to have a lot of resources. You got a lot of people that are going to help you through this because there's just too much against you. Yes. You got to, yeah, you have to, you just have to go live in a small town and like.
I don't know. You'd have to walk and just be. You got to shack up with somebody. You got to get somebody that will support you.
And you'll be like, I'll cut the grass. We should see. Or prove your crime that you're innocent. Yeah. Like the fugitive. Like the fugitive, yeah. I wonder if we should try to see if we could help someone escape. Well, that's what I was thinking. I mean, I don't know how many people listen in prison, but I think what we're saying is first, think it out. Yeah. Email us. If you think you're like, you know what? I'm tired of prison. Email us. Some of you might not be. And how many listeners would be...
you know, ready to help as well. You know, you've got a, you've got an army here. You got it. We got a force. So we get there. All the folks would come in and be like, yeah, we need you to do. Don't be doing no crazy crimes. We need to be something nice and easy.
I feel like I'm the one that people would likely email to try this, but I'm not going to help. No, you just want to put that out there right now. Yeah, I'm not going to help. Save your – Dusty, you know what it's like being in prison. I've known a few people on probation and whatnot, and I'm not interested. You didn't even like the pressure of being around that. No. That is – yeah. He goes, I'm on probation. And you're like, okay. Yeah, I've had quite a few friends get out of jail, and they're like – and it's fine. I like hanging out with them, but I'm not –
You're not going to help. Nah. All right. That's fair. That's fair. It's good to get that out there. Yeah. I think Brian's into it. So if you want to email Brian, anybody in prison, it seems like you're open to it. Brian's researching a role, really. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had a whole character arc for my character. Is it going to be a season two? Well, let me hear the arc first. Yeah. Yeah.
I think I'm just misunderstood. Okay. And I feel like I'm going to get out. Okay. I'm guessing with COVID, I'm not going to get out. You'd be low on the list. I think you're a serial killer. Yeah. So, yeah, you'd be low on the list. I'm a misunderstood serial killer. Okay. I think I'm just insecure. And I'm going to escape prison, and I'm going to show up in season two, and they're going to realize I'm a decent guy. Okay. All right. I like it. All right. I'll throw that into the mix. Okay. I'll talk to Freedy about that. Yeah, that is a good mix.
He comes out, and they go, I'll tell you what. Larry? Not bad. Yeah. Not bad. Not a bad guy. He's a major serial killer. I go, I know. It surprised me, too. There he goes. I doubt it. Yeah, but have you talked to him about baseball? Yeah. I mean, the guy knows a lot. Yeah. Listen to this Don Mattingly story. A guy...
painted nectarines he was in prison he painted nectarines the color of uh a grenade to make it look like a grenade and then told everyone he had a grenade so if they don't back off you know he's gonna blow it up his wife took helicopter lessons she landed the helicopter on the roof of the prison and they escaped they believed him yeah they believed he had a grenade yeah prison yeah
And she landed the helicopter on a football field. And they still caught up with them somehow. I guess, you know, helicopters, they take a little while to come down and land. It's a very big sign. Yeah, it's a very big sign. Yeah. It's just like, this is fun. They go, see the tornado. Or, this is my favorite story. Yeah. Because I picture the guy's wife coming to visit him. And he's like, all right, I got a plan. All right, I'm going to get out of here.
You need to...
not only learn how to fly a helicopter, you got to get a helicopter. And she's like, that's a lot. Like, what are you doing? He's like, I have to paint a nectarine. A nectarine. Tangerine, whatever it was. It was a nectarine. It was a nectarine. I have to paint a nectarine. They go, how many nectarines are there? He goes, you wouldn't believe how many nectarines. He goes, I can mess up for days on these nectarines. And there's just, they keep coming. That's such a weird fruit that they would give prisoners. Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know if I know what a nectarine is. I think a small orange. Small orange. And he probably ruined it for everybody. After that, they're like, nothing else that can look like a grenade. No more nectarines. All bananas. All bananas. And the guy paints it as a gun. Yeah. Oh, my God. No more fruit. All right, asparagus only. Oh, no. Yeah, it would be. Yeah, it is. There is a moment, though, you're like,
Does he have a grenade? Like, where would he get that grenade? Where would he get this? Yeah, do we? Are we not metal? Like, you'd want to... Metal texture is not a thing anymore. What are we doing? Because how are we letting people in? It's such an odd weapon to have. Yeah, to be able to somehow have... How did you get a grenade? Yeah.
Yeah, just like when I'm in the airport, right? Sometimes you go through all the security and then you're sitting in there. And then after we're through all the security, we're sitting there. They come through with a dog and the dog's smelling all the bags. And I'm like, so did the other stuff we just did? You're not sure that's working? You know what I mean? It's like, why is it that you got a dog smelling bags if I've just gone through everything?
Yeah. I don't think most people deal with this problem. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I don't think they can make you switch seats, but I get asked to switch seats. I get made to switch seats every time I fly. And that's crazy. It's always exciting for me at the TSA when I go through and they do a bag check. Because you know there's nothing in your bag, but then part of you is like, what's in there? Everything in my bag. It happened to me yesterday, actually. I got pulled and I was like, what is in that bag?
What is... And it was that... It was your semi-truck. Oh. Yeah, it was that. It was that. They didn't know what that was. But you're always like, are they going to pull... Am I going to be surprised? That's almost worse. He's got a gun. You're like, I don't know where that came from. And then, yeah, you're in prison. Then like two weeks later, you're like, oh. Yeah. You know what? I did buy a gun. Talked on it. Yeah. Yeah. Dead gum in here. All right. He got me. Okay.
Yeah, but it is true. Why didn't no one ask this guy? It feels like if one officer goes, how'd you get the grenade? He just doesn't. He freezes. He's like, I got a grenade. You're like, well, how did you get it? He's like, someone threw it in. He goes, you just wouldn't be like, just explain because he's away from you.
And so you're back up. Yeah, because you're back up and then just be like, all right, bud. I'm going to walk you out. Let's see what happens. Let's see what happens. Just how did you, I would like to, just so we can fix the problem in the future. How did you get the grenade? Definitely.
Well, it fell down. He goes, I don't have to tell you why. That's why you have a grenade. That's why I don't have to tell you how I got a grenade, but I got one. Yeah, you don't want to take a chance that he really does have one. Just follow his wife's helicopter that's going to take 30 minutes to land with all the wind. And he's like, go higher. She goes, I don't like to go that high. Yeah.
I'm new. I'm new at this. They're barely above the power lines. It's like, the police are just walking under. Yeah, it's not hard to track it. Yeah. You wouldn't think. Well, didn't work. In Catch Me If You Can, the guy, Frank Abengal, I think is his name, that Leonardo DiCaprio played, he convinced the prison that he was an undercover inspector just observing the prison to see how they're doing. And,
And he convinced them so much, they started really giving him special treatment because they wanted a good review for the prison. Oh, like he was a secret shopper kind of thing? Yeah. Like he was in there undercover? Yeah, guys, I'm undercover as a prisoner just to see how you're doing. I'm letting you know. So then they started really just... Wait, that's what he told them? Yeah. Yeah. And they believed it. Wow. So they started really like...
being on Up and Up, giving him special treatment because they wanted a good review. It's like when you come to your restaurant or whatever, you know, and then they eventually just let him leave and walk out. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. I'm going to try that. That guy was great. Yeah. Like, that's what's crazy with him. Yeah, he works at the FBI or something, or he did? He did, I think. Did he die? No, I think he's still alive.
Is he out? Like he's out and... I don't know. Is that it? Oh, that's Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah, he did stuff that... Maybe that was part of his sentence. If he worked with them, he got a lighter sentence to help them. Yeah, he's still alive. Yeah, he does. I think he worked... In the movie, they get him working for like the FBI. Yeah, you can... I mean, it's...
Like, it's funny because this guy is just like a super smart, like just charming. Charm is gigantic. I think charm is a very overlooking factor. Charm is how you get out of everything. Get you out of a lot of scrapes, right? Yeah. And because if you can just be super charming and trust and all that, like that's how you get –
if you're in this kind of life, that's how you get, I mean, every, in anything, but that's how you get far. And I like that ploy of like, you know, people are nervous about their jobs. And so if you can be charming enough and convince them that you're there to, did you, when you worked at Applebee's, did you ever have a secret customer come in? I had that happen once. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Mine did not work out well. Oh, really? I read the report and they said that they had asked about, because I didn't, I was not a good waiter at this place called Dalt's. It was owned by TGI Fridays. And I didn't have the menu memorized. Oh, you do? Okay. I didn't have the menu memorized or anything. So I read the report and it said, we asked him about the salad dressings and he clearly did not know what salad dressings were. So he pointed to the menu and told us to read it saying he'd hate to leave out our favorites.
And then towards the end of the meal, that was where the charm came in. I didn't cover it up. And then he said that at one point I offered free sodas and desserts because I didn't have to run it through the register as long as they hooked me up with a good tip. Yeah.
which was my go-to move oh that's a tough but i didn't know i would get caught but i didn't get fired because i was uh the the shortstop on the softball team and we were doing pretty good so i just got reprimanded yeah yeah it's important but it was shocking to know that i was being spied on yeah yeah and no idea no idea no idea no idea no just be like hey how you doing is that when you got down on one knee next to the table you go
Guys, come on. Listen, guys. Listen. You know, we want some free cheesecake. Soda's out of control. You know, I worked at a restaurant. They had a sign that said, if your drinks don't appear on the receipt, you know, let us know and you'll get $20. And that was the restaurant's way. Oh, the way that they were trying to keep up. Right. So I had a table one time. Something happened and I never, you know, because I knew I could get fired. So I was like, something happened with some drinks. And I was like, here, I'll just give you this one and I'll not charge you for it.
And then a bartender calls me and he goes, hey, there's some people down here trying to get the 20 bucks. And I went down there and they go, oh yeah, we just thought you didn't charge us. We thought we won. I go, no, you're going to get me in trouble.
They were like, oh, sorry. And then they left. Wait, the bartender, were you at home? No, the bartender was, no, I was upstairs. The bartender was my friend and he called me on the restaurant phone. Yeah, he was trying to not get me fired. I thought you went home. And then I had to come back. And then he calls you at home. He goes, hey. He goes, Dusty, you want to head on back down? And you go back down.
No, I mean, I could have. I live close, but I might have just said, let me get fired. Yeah. Well, you were more honest than I was, I think. I would not charge people soda at the beginning because you think it's going to get you a bigger tip and it doesn't. Nah. Because it's about the price. They tip off the price.
And when you first start, you don't realize that. And you think like, hey, I'm hooking you up. You'd have to say it like that. Yeah. Or you'd have to have some regulars that knew. Like my sister worked around the corner and she'd come in and sit in my section and get a soda, a soup, a salad, and a dessert.
All four items, you just make yourself as a waiter, and then she'd leave a nice tip and walk out of there. You got to let them know you're Robin Hood. I'm Robin Hood here. Oh, yeah, you are Robin. I was Robin Hood. I don't know what the statute of limitations, but I may go to prison for this. This could go full circle. You could be talking in a couple weeks about how I'm in prison. Just call me Robin Daltz. Yeah, I thought Daltz was out of business. I thought I had him.
Immunity at this point. I didn't know there was one in the area. I'm going to go to Dalts tonight, and I'm going to present them with a check. Yeah. And just to make sure I don't get in trouble. I'm going to take UberX over there, and I'm going to give them their money back. It is funny that it's like...
You say this, you're like, I don't know, it's a dumb restaurant, Dalt's. Bates is like, me and my mom are going there tonight. And you're like, what's up? They're still around. He goes, yeah, right around the corner. It was delicious. They had great food. But the one by me closed down. Yeah.
A lot of salad dressing. It's too many to memorize, honestly. A lot of salad dressing. I remember one time I went in too and it said the special of the soup was gazpacho, and I'd never even heard of gazpacho. I didn't know how to pronounce it or anything. And I went to the manager. I said, what's gazpacho? And he says, it's just the salsa. Just give him a bowl of the salsa. I was like, I don't think that's how gazpacho works. Is it a nice restaurant? It's nice, yeah. Yeah. It's nice. The one on White Bridge Road is pretty nice. Yeah, but is it like –
you know, like a TGI Fridays or like Jay Alexander's. I think it tried to be, or not tried, it's owned by TGI Fridays. So I think maybe it's like, would you say that it's like a little bit elevated from TGI Fridays? Yeah. I mean, the one on White Bridge Road is pretty old, but. Okay. I think that was the intention. Yeah. I think that's what I kind of. A restaurant you could celebrate on any day, really. Yeah. You know.
It'd be like, but you go to Dalts would be like, we're going on a date night. Yeah. We're going to go to Dalts. These jokes are good. But if this was in Virginia, I'd get a lot of like, you know, the lady will have the fajitas and I will have the taquitos. Oh, yeah. And then I'd just go like, well, have you tried the quesadillas? Yeah. Because that's good too. You know, I just play into it. It is hard when the table pronounces something wrong and you know the right way to pronounce it, but now you have to repeat the order back to them.
It's like, do I say it wrong or do I correct them? No, I'd go right into it. I don't want to be uppity to them. I don't want to ruin their good time. So you had the Fajitas. The Fajitas and you had the Taquitos. Yeah. David Spade on his new special talks just about that, how he'll purposely say something wrong just to mess with the server, just to see their head explode. Yeah. I struggled with Euros because the first time I went to New York City, I...
pointed in the menu and the guy goes, the gyros. And I'm like, is that?
That's how it is? That is gyros? And then everybody says euros. I thought it was gyros. Or heroes. Yeah, I've heard it all three ways. Heroes? Yeah, I've heard heroes. I think when I was in Greece, I heard that. I just had one. I don't eat a lot of those, and I just had one a week ago because when I drove by this restaurant, the comedian Brody Stevens, there was a huge mural of Brody Stevens on the side of the restaurant, and then it said, enjoy it.
Brody Stevens. And I thought, you know what? I'm going to go in here just based on that. And it was as disorganized and confused on the inside as Brody was. At the end of the day. What's that? Yeah. Mural's nice. I don't know what that means. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah. But yeah, I had a hero. I thought of someone who escaped and at least for a while, what did stay out on the island was El Chapo.
oh yeah when they built that underground tunnel for him was that in mexico though yeah mexico is a little different i mean i think mexico i think you're a chump if you stay yeah like that seems like that's a revolving door that if you can't get out of a mexican prison it's like because he's done it a couple times right hasn't he done it a couple times yeah that's why that's why they were like we're going to send you here and it's like it's not good he hasn't got out again uh
I don't think those guys, you do not want to go to a U.S. prison. Yeah. Like in Mexico, it seems like they can, I mean, they go to that prison. It's like, I mean, they're going to be out in an hour. Well, if it's anything like the TV shows I watch, because that's where I get all my information, then it seems like it's a little looser of a system where you can kind of get people to turn the other way. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Yeah, there's a movie called Get the Gringo with Mel Gibson. I don't know if you've seen that. Yeah, I've seen it. And I thought it was a good movie, but the prison that he's in, I don't know if that's accurate, but it seems like it's almost like he's in a small city. Yeah. The prison is like there's just things going on in there, but you just can't leave. Yeah, like there's kids selling stuff. Yeah. Yeah, it's like you're walking down like –
Yeah. Yeah. I'm just shocked you haven't seen Shawshank, but you've seen Get the Green Book. That's what I'm taking away from this whole episode. I might go watch it again tonight. Yeah.
Oh, I wanted to say this. This is random, but I did want to say this, that I listen to the podcast every week, and I love it. And I go on walks, and I listen to it. The hardest I've ever laughed is when I woke up one morning, and I looked at the title, and it said, Candy Part Two. That's the hardest I've ever laughed, just by the title. And my dream is that even though whatever we talk about today, it's called Candy Part Three. Yeah.
We had to get back into it. Yeah, no, there was too much left on the table. There's a lot more to say. Yeah, I loved it. I loved it. There was a guy in Korea who was a yoga instructor and he could contort his body. So he went to prison and he found a way to slide himself through the food slot.
Like they had the bars and just the little slot that you put your tray in. Wow. And he contorted his body to get through there. Go through there and then found a way out through the kitchen kind of thing. I guess so, yeah. Imagine getting through the food slot and then being like, oh, they're like, what are you doing out? Get back in there. Because it's not...
Yeah, so it'll take a while. Yeah. And there's not a lot of food slots throughout the whole thing. Well, you know, he gets to the food slot, he's like, he's just like cracking his neck. He looks over and there's two more food slots. Oh, man. Yeah, he's like, oh, man. And now he's got to just go back in the food. Do it again? Yeah, I mean, because he probably had to try it.
So then he's... What, he gets stuck? I mean, what if they... Yeah, he's just in there. One day they open it and he's just sitting in it in the food slot. And the food slot's so big you can get your head through. I imagine that if you can get your head through it, the rest of the body's not that hard. No, once you get your head through something, apparently you can get the rest of your body through it. How do you get your head through it? Yeah.
I don't know. Yeah. Still seems like your shoulders would have a hard time. Yeah. Shoulders or not. You go, what do you think about the shoulders? He goes, that's tough. He goes, it's all head to shoulders. Once you get past that, he goes, I mean, you couldn't even lock me in. I'm going to commit, I'm going to admit another crime here. But when I was little, my parents were furniture shopping and they had a...
like a snack machine in the back with candy in it and it was one of those old time ones and i reached my hand up to try to get to the candy and got stuck and i got stuck in there with my literally with my hand in the cookie jar and i had to be yelling and they came and my parents stood there while they had to go get a crowbar and get me out of this thing and i was there for like 15 minutes all right what were you doing i was like nothing yeah yeah
Don't worry about it. Nothing. You're just looking at your own fingers. Yeah. Just so close to that juicy fruit gum right there. Did they throw you some candy? No, they should have. But no, I was reprimanded. Lesson learned. Yeah. Lesson learned. Yeah. That's a good way. Some dumb criminals. There's so many of them. There's now TV shows just about dumb criminals. I found one, though, from last month that I thought was pretty good. This is in Georgia. Yeah.
A guy called the police at McDonald's to complain about his fries being lukewarm, not hot. Police showed up, and there's video of all this from BodyCam. He complains that the manager, you know, his fries were cold, and then he complained about it, and then the guy goes and talks to the manager. Turns out the guy who called the police complained had outstanding warrants for a homicide. Wow.
They eventually figure out what's going on. He kind of freaks out. They chase him through the McDonald's parking lot, and they tase him, and now he's in prison. But a guy wanted for murder calls police because his fries are cold. Wow. Yeah. I wonder if you, like a guy that's in that state, if you just forget that you murdered someone. Yeah. I think you probably convinced yourself that it didn't happen. Yeah, that it didn't happen, and then you're, you know, and it's been long enough that you eventually just go,
My fries are cold and they're doing this on purpose. Yeah. I watched the police body cam and they asked the guy's name and you could tell he's a little hesitant, like, Oh, you want to get into this? But he gives them his name. Then the guy goes in and talks to the manager, comes out and he says, look, here's the deal. The manager said he'll, he'll refund your money. Are you okay with that? But he wants you to never come in this McDonald's again. And the guy goes, I don't even live here. You know, I ain't going to come. He's like, yeah, but you got to fill out this thing just saying that you're never come again.
And he's about to get away with just leave. But then all of a sudden, the guy just freaks out. And he takes the clipboard. He's like, I don't trust you guys. I'm standing over here. And he's like, what's your problem? And he finally just takes off running. And then they chase him. And then they find out later he's wanted for murder. Oh, they didn't even look it up. No, he just kind of freaked out. Maybe while they was inside talking to the manager, he started thinking about
He's like, oh, I have killed a guy. Yeah. I've gotten away with that. Maybe the cold fries is not that big of a deal after all. I find it interesting that the cops even chased him too because if that guy is just like, you got to be like, oh my God, we're wasting our time on warm fries. And if the guy freaks out and just runs into the woods, I think I'm like, all right, you
That solves that. Yeah, that solves that. But that guy ruined it for all the other people that are just trying to call about lukewarm fries and run in the woods. Because you're going to be like, well, I got to assume all of you killed someone. Because the one time I went and chased him, that guy killed someone. And you're like, I didn't kill anybody. I just am so mad. I think that's the lesson. If you have warm fries, stay on your ground. There's a little bit, too, that you want to say from McDonald's. Y'all need to get it together at your places.
because you're driving people to this insanity. Your ice cream machine's broke. Your fries are not always, you know, it's like they can be sitting there like, McDonald's, you want to go like, people expect a product. We like McDonald's. And some of this is, so this is on McDonald's as much as it is on that guy. Yeah, I mean, keep it hot. Keep it hot. I mean, what are you doing? Yeah. I mean, there's murderers trying to eat too. Yeah. And they need it quick. Yeah. Yeah.
Maybe Burger King came out with a slogan, like, Burger King, you won't go to prison. Yeah. We got your back. Yeah. Fries are hot. Yeah. We keep our mouths shut. Yeah.
Fry's so hot, you won't need to call the police. That should be like their mission statement. Their slogan should be like, we don't want a guy that just got done murdering a guy. He comes in here, has a nice meal. He's probably a little stressed and hot. Give him some hot fries. Boom.
I'm loving it. Yeah. That's the new commercial. That's good. Yeah. Keep them out. Yeah. Yeah. Are we, is it? Yeah. I wanted to ask you about your fake towns or that you put in here. I noticed Raising Hope, but they were in Natesville. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, after me. Yep. After you, before I met you, I thought I had a premonition. Um, yeah, all the towns like, uh, Earl is Camden County. That's my oldest son, Camden. Uh, uh,
Raisin' Hope is Natesville for my middle son, Nathan. Okay. Then we had... They're good for me. Yep. Then we had the guest book was in... Season one was in Mount Trace for my son, Trace. Mm-hmm.
Then I skipped my wife, whose name is Kim, because I couldn't think of anything at the time. So then guest book season two, they lived at Mabel Beach, which is my dog. So I went dog next. And then for Sprung, I was like, I can't think of something for Kim. And then the set decorator said, how about Kimberton? And I was like, oh, perfect. Oh, perfect. So we went with Kimberton. Yeah, so now everybody's been represented. And so- Now I can retire. Yeah.
Oh, I thought you were going to get a divorce and get a new family. Yeah. Well, that too. So when will you do the next family, the other family that you have? The secret family? The secret family? Soon. Soon, soon. Yeah. I look forward to a dusty town at some point. Yeah. You know, an old Wild West type village. Yeah. Most of the towns I write about are dusty. Yeah. So that'll fit right in. Perfect. Yeah. Yeah. We'll get that in there. I may have to adopt you first. Yeah. To make it all legit. That's okay. I could use it. But yeah. Okay.
He doesn't have a dad. If you apply to college again, we're going to have to lie about my finances if you want that Pell grant. We're going to have to do some fudging on the paperwork. Someone said that maybe Mr. Pell had died, I believe. But his son, Pell Jr., is still out there, so he can get a smaller grant. Well, that's it. Because I want to end on a story with Greg that's a wonderful story about the writer's strike.
And I don't know if you had that. I think it's a good story to tell. Yeah, sure. I don't know if anybody knows this. But when the writer's strike was in, when was the writer's strike? 2008, I believe. Yeah, 2008. And I feel like this story sums up correctly.
And I love it. And it's... Yeah, 2008, I actually wrote for a show during the writer's strike. I was the opposite. You were scabbed. You were scabbed. I can think of all that. The first... I wrote for this Spike Video Game Awards. And I was like a comic. And I got wrote for it. And then it was like this strike happened. And it's like you're just like... It's like, well, are we not supposed to be writing? They didn't put our names on the credits to like...
I guess so we don't get in trouble. But you're like, we're not even writers, dude. It's not like you were in the guild and you were breaking. I don't blame you at all for that. I was like, I didn't even know what's happening. But I remember it was a big day. Like, we're not putting your name on. And then I even kind of wanted it. If they would have really asked me, I'd have been like, I still would like it on. Yeah, I'd like some acknowledgement. My parents are going to watch this. Yeah, my parents. I don't know what's happening with this guild.
what is a guild? I don't know. So, but they went on strike. The writers went on strike and it was a big thing. And then you can, well, I, I, a long time ago, I was eating at a Roy Rogers when I was doing the show. Yes, dear. And I was, uh, cause I love Roy Rogers hamburgers. Love them.
And I was watching the people behind the counter and they're working hard. And I thought, I've had hard jobs. I grew up doing landscaping, whatever, pumping gas and real jobs. And at that time I was running a show and I was pampered and stuff. What was the show? Yes, Dear. It was the show I was doing at the time. And I thought, I wonder if I could go back and do an honest day's work where I'm not pampered. And I started thinking that would be a fun book to write.
Like I'll do a different job every month. And in my mind, I would get to know the people and it would be funny because I'd be talking about my own struggles with it and everything. And then just to have a game show element, I would pick one person that I work with, give them $10,000 and then just disappear and then go do another thing. So while you're reading the book, maybe you're like, oh, who's he going to give it to? Whatever.
But I had that idea, but then I just kept working. I never had time to do it or try it. And then I started watching like, seeing like 30 Days with Morgan Spurlacker and Undercover Boss and all these things started coming up. And I was like, ah, people are already kind of doing this.
But then the writer's strike hit and all of a sudden I had free time and I thought, let me try this one time. Let me just see if I can do it as an experiment. And plus you had to pick it as a writer. You had to like go out there and pick it all day with a sign. And I asked him, I said, what if you have a job? Like, what if you have another job? And they're like, oh, you don't have to pick it if you have another job. And I was like, all right, well, good. Cause I don't want to
pick it. So let me go. This is going to kill two birds with one stone. So yeah, I drove one exit past my house to try to get past a little bit of the fast food people would go to in my neighborhood. And there was a Jack in the Box and a McDonald's and a Burger King. And I went into each one of them. And at the Burger King, they said, we'll sit down and fill out the application and then we'll have an interview. And I
And I was like, oh man, I wasn't prepared for that to happen right away. Right. And like, cause my driver's license, like I got to explain my, my address. Like I live in the, in the neighborhood with like the Kardashians and you know, I was, I walked by Kevin Durant moved in around the corner. He's sitting there like, it's like, how am I going to explain this? So they, they sat down, she sat down the manager and she interviewed me. And, and I said, I told her that I worked for a family. I lived with a family and I helped take care of the kids. And so I said, I can only work.
during the school hours, which I also thought like I'd worked so hard. I didn't want to say to my kids now that dad has some time off rather than spend time with you, he's going to go work at Burger King. So I've worked from, so I got hired. What family would hire you to take care of their kids? No, no family. No family. Yeah. None. So I, I, so I worked, uh,
10 to 2, Monday through Friday, I got the job. And so, you know, I showed up the first day and they gave me my uniform and it was too small. They gave me a small, it barely, I couldn't even tuck it in. I showed a little, a little midriff there and the shirt was real small. And I just started working there and I'd go home every day and I'd write some notes about it and try to come up with funny stuff and get to know the other people that work there and everything. And,
And I'd have a couple friends that knew about it that would come in and have lunch and just kind of sit there and watch me. And one time my wife and kid came. But after about two weeks, I started running out of stuff to write about. Now I'm just working at Burger King. At this point, I'm just working at Burger King. And I thought, man, I could mess around with people. I could mess around if I wanted to. Maybe that would be interesting if I started messing around. But I was like,
everybody's working hard in here. I don't want to be the jerk who's like not taking this seriously. So I was a cashier and a janitor. I cleaned the bathrooms. I clean up the tables and stuff and, and just do all that stuff. There was a couple of times where like there was this one guy who had an Orange County choppers hat on that, that show that they used to do motorcycles. And I had been on an episode cause they did a, my name is Earl bike and,
And so I did say to him, I was like, I knew I was going to be quitting soon. I was like, Hey man, remember this? You watch that show? He goes, yeah. I go watch this Thursday show. I said, just remember me. And he was like, okay. So I'm sure that kind of blew his mind. I was like, what in the world? But yeah, when, but then it kind of, I heard the strike was going to end. So, um, so I went into my manager and I sat her down after my shift and I said, you know, I,
I'm going to be leaving today. And she was like, what are you talking about? And she liked me a lot being, she tried to get me in the management trainee program. Yeah. She came to me after two weeks and she said, I want you to come in the management trainee program. And I said, I can't, you know, this family I live with. And she's like, Greg, you have to worry about your future. You have to think about yourself, not other people. And so I sat her down and I said, look,
It's my last day. And she's like, why, why? And I said, look, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm actually a television writer and I'm working on a book. And I told her there was actually a book because I didn't want the next part to be awkward. So I said, I said, I'm working on this book and I'm doing different jobs and now I need to do a different job. And she goes, oh man, now I have to hire someone else. And I go, yeah, I know. I said, that was part of this that I didn't even think that I was kind of put you in a bad spot. So I feel bad about that. But
And I said, but here's the thing. I said, the publisher of the book, which again, there was none, but I said, the publisher of the book wants me to give something to one person. And I had picked her because I got to know her the best. And she was a really hardworking woman with this backstory. And I said, so I do have something for you. And I gave her a cashier's check for $10,000. Wow.
And then all of a sudden she was like, oh my God, oh my God, you can keep the shirt if you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was just confused as heck. Yeah. And I left. I remember calling my buddy, Alan Kirshenbaum, this other writer, and I said, yeah, I gave her the check. She seemed kind of confused. And he goes, oh, why is she confused? Maybe because it's the cross.
craziest thing that's ever happened to her. So then the next day I went back to picketing and, um, and my phone rang and it was her. And she said, um, listen, uh, uh, I just wanted to say thanks again. And, and I Googled you and, and, and I, and we love, my name is Earl and, uh, we're gonna, you know, I think we're gonna use the money for our kids' education or maybe get a big TV.
I said, look, it's your money. You do what you want with it. And she goes, but I did tell my bosses. I got a little nervous, so I told my bosses, and they might be calling you, the Burger King, not the king himself, but, you know. And I said, that's fine. They can call me. So about an hour later, I get a call from a guy. He says, ah, it's so-and-so from Burger King Corporation. I hear you've been working at one of our stores, Mr. Garcia. I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear you're writing a book.
And I go, listen, first of all, there's no real book. I don't know if there'll ever be a book and it's not like fast food nation. I'm not trying to like do some expose. It's about the people that work there. And I explained the whole thing to him. I said, if anything, you know, my wife said this was going to turn me off of fast food. If anything, it's the opposite. I've never seen a place run so well, so clean. I said, and he goes, you,
can mention Burger King anytime you want, please do. And then he sent me a card. He sent me a little gold card, Burger King card. I get free Burger King for the rest of my life. Oh, wow. Yeah. So I have that and I don't use it a ton, but I- $10,000 well spent. Yeah, I know, right? And so what I do now is I do use it. I go into a Burger King and just everybody in line, I'm like, hey guys, I got this. You get a Whopper, you get a Whopper, you get a Whopper. And people get confused.
And there'll be some people that'll be like, I can get my own food. I can get my own food. I'm like, okay, but it's free. Don't worry. And like, I can get it. And one time I was sitting there and afterwards, and one was sitting next to me, standing next to me, we're both waiting for the food. And she said, why do you have a free Burger King card? And I said, you know, it's a long story, but basically I worked for them and they gave it to me as a gift afterwards. And she goes, oh.
I should have got fries. I said, you want fries? We're going to add some fries on there. Yeah. But I'm still the manager. We're still friends. We text all the time. She came over my house, hung out for a while with her kids. And it turned into a whole thing, man. She called me one time. She was having trouble with her husband. I ended up on the phone with him for about two and a half hours talking through that. I mean, it turned this story could go on for hours. Trust me, there's a lot to be told. But that was the gist of it. That was the gist of it. It was a fun time.
and again as an experience i used some of that in a show i did called super clyde it didn't get on but it was just going out there and doing something goofy yeah that i i i mean it makes me want to do it like it's the idea it's you just sometimes you do want to like kind of go back and i and i think people could even want that uh you know not even like this career but in like
The older you get, the more you could be, it's a, you know, in your head, it's a simpler time of just your, I work at this restaurant. There was something very, you know, zen about the job compared to what I used to be doing because I'd go out and wipe the tables down for like 20 minutes and it was like,
I don't have to think about anything else. I'm just doing this and everything. Obviously, there's people working there that have two jobs. They're not having a Zen experience, but I'm just talking about my experience. In fact, she said to me once, I said to her, I go, hey, sometimes I hear you guys speaking Spanish and then I hear my name. I said, what were you guys saying about me? She was like, we couldn't believe a white guy was lasting this long. She's like, we've had white guys before. They don't last this long in this job. Then she also said to me,
One time, about a year later, she goes, you know, I was telling Enrique the other day, and he was just standing around. And I said, Greg wouldn't be standing around. Greg would be going to. And I go, no, no, no, no, no, no. Greg was there as a bit. He was writing a book. No, you can't use me. Enrique has two jobs. He drives Domino Pizza at night. Let him take a break. Don't use me as an example. That's not what this was about by any means. But yeah, it was a trip. That's awesome. I love it. That is a great story. I've always loved it. Yeah. That's really great. I've always loved that story.
All right. As always, well, I would love all you. And then go watch Sprung. I've watched it. It's awesome. Season finale this week, right? Season finale this Friday. And then all 10 of them will be up there and available to binge watch for the rest of your life. Rest of your life. Yep. It's a super fun show. I remember reading, you sent me the script, and it was just like, it's just such a fun idea. It's a great show.
So thanks for coming on. Yeah, I'll be, when does this, this comes out this week. I'm in Thousand Oaks, Long Beach, San Francisco, New Mexico, and then four shows in Phoenix taping the special. So next time I come back, I'll be, special will be taped.
This Thursday, I'm in Springfield, Missouri. First time ever to Springfield. That's where the Bass Pro Shop is, right? Yeah, it's a big one. Yeah. I'll have to check that out. I'm at Billiards of Springfield. It's a...
Pool Hall, I guess. They also do comedy shows. So I'll be there Thursday night. So please come to that. And then Friday and Saturday, I'm at Helium Comedy Club in St. Louis. Oh. All right. Look at that. Yeah. This is happening. Yeah. Well, I'll be at the Greenville, South Carolina Comedy Zone this weekend. I just was in Jacksonville. I wanted to show this little girl made a card to Dusty from Elizabeth. And she said, hello, I watch you in the Nate Land podcast.
And then she drew a picture of me. Oh, that's awesome. She says, hey, bear. And.
And we're having a good time. Ooh, that's awesome. Maybe you should have the camera instead of us. Yeah. That's you? Yeah. Sorry, Elizabeth. Sorry about that. Yeah. But that's me there. That's very nice. Yeah. But yeah, I was at Jacksonville Comedy Zone. We had a lot of fun this week. Greenville, South Carolina Comedy Zone. It's going to be great. Yeah. And if this comes out tomorrow, I'll be in the Nashville area at various Dalts giving away free sodas and desserts. Where they find you at Burger King. Yep.
You know? I'll be there. He'll be at Burger King. Wait, there's a Burger King at the airport. We could go get free Burger King? Yeah. Oh, the airport might be the only place that doesn't take it. Here we go. Here we go. I mean, we can try, but it'll be a discussion. It'll be a discussion. All right. We love you. Thank you, as always, for listening, and we will see you next week. Bye. Bye.
Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.