#123 Superheroes
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And a new guest with breakfast, Little Breakfast. Hello, folks. Hello, folks. Hello. We got a little visitor. It was roughly a year ago. It was exactly a year ago today that I revealed it in the recording, November 1st when we recorded it. And it came out a few days later. But yeah. Yeah. One year ago, I told you guys I was having, my wife was having a baby. Yeah.

There she is. Here we are. I still don't believe it. Look at you. Good size. She's getting big. She's doing great. She's doing great. We wanted Eleanor to say hi to everybody. The headphones are just for fun. She doesn't need them. Yeah, just people to go. She was born with those headphones on. All right. All right. We're passing her off to Abigail. Eleanor, she would have been put her out back in the car. And...

Bye, honey. What if it was a whole, he has no wife, no baby, and we're just going through it? Gotta keep the charade going. Gotta keep the charade going. Nate paid to have a baby here. That's my baby. Yeah. Felt good. It feels good. I love an ad, Reid. Yeah. Yeah. You look like a walking ad. Yeah. And...

Yeah, I would think, you know, growing up where you grew up, you guys are for ads. Yeah. NASCAR, you know. Yeah, NASCAR is advertising. Is advertising. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. They really figured it out. It's almost so much advertising that it takes out the advertising. Like, you don't think about it.

Cause it's just, it's, that's what it is. Right. It's the bud car. It's the, you know, and you end up supporting the, whatever your driver is, you support whatever their ad is. Yeah. Like even my family would get into like Ford Chevy arguments. If their driver drove a Ford versus their driver driving a Chevy, they act like Ford and Chevy has some kind of, uh,

uh, investment in their lives. Yeah. Which one were you? Uh, we were always forward. Oh, found on road dead. Yeah. Or, or, uh, first on race day is what we would say on repair day. Yeah. Oh, look at that. No, a bunch of them. Yeah. There's a few fix or repair daily. That was one found on road dead. You said that. What was for Chevy? Uh, I,

I don't know that we had any. Yeah, it's tough to... Is it a long one? Yeah. Chevrolet is tough to... Yeah. I remember a lot of bumper stickers of the kid from Calvin and Hobbes peeing on a Chevy logo. Yeah, there'd be a lot of that too. Yeah. Yeah. Felt like a bit much. Well, people like the cars, you know? And they...

It was a lot. I remember seeing a lot of that too. People didn't want to see it. I'm told. I remember people who would not buy Japanese made cars because of World War II. Wow.

I never heard that. Made in America, buddy. I mean, I always remember the support of Made in America cars, but I don't remember that because of World War II. That is intense. There's some people I know who are still alive that are like that. I remember Elvis being alive, like the big conspiracy about that.

I remember that. I mean, I don't know. I distinctly remember it being on Unsolved Mysteries or something. It's still going. I know it's still going, but it was on main TV. They were, is he alive and all that kind of stuff. I do remember a big debate. Now, I feel like it would be a conspiracy or something, but you'd have to read about it and be like, he could still be alive, but he'd be very old. But back then, it was like... Oh, yeah. They were like, oh, we think... I mean, I remember seeing on...

Record TV, like they're showing video of him in Florida or in Hawaii or something. I think it was Jerry Glanville, football coach, that would leave tickets at the game for Elvis. Oh, really? He would leave two tickets at every home game for Elvis just to come to the game. It was just like a thing he did. Who's that? Jerry Glanville. Yeah. I think he was a former football coach. I think he maybe even coached the Wallers and the Falcons and –

And I think that's right, that he would leave tickets for Elvis at the game. He was a former NASCAR driver and the head coach of the Alabama Airborne of Major League Football. I guess I got my guy wrong there. I thought it was NFL. I may start leaving a couple tickets for Elvis. I mean, the fact that you know that guy and he coached at Alabama...

The airborne of the major league football. MLF. MLF. I mean, I've never even heard of that. Will you Google who left tickets? It was Jerry Glanville. It was him. Yeah. He was the head coach of the Oilers from 85 to 89. You're right. He would leave tickets at Wilco for Elvis Presley. They kind of buried that in his Wikipedia page. I would lead with head coach of the Oilers. Well, maybe that's because he left the tickets that they were like, let's kind of push this guy to the side here.

Oh, Dusty, I got a new conspiracy theory for you. Okay. That I feel like you'll be on board with. I just heard this. So Tennessee has new license plates. Okay. Oh, boy. You guys know that? They're all blue now. So you can get, choose between one that says, in God we trust, and one that doesn't. It's very small. But once you get it, the plates look different. Like, one of them has three letters, and the other one has four, and it's, the makeup's different. The conspiracy is they're, the deep state's trying to separate us to...

people who you know believe in god who don't oh yeah well that's not even a conspiracy yeah that's uh yeah that's a lot to bring in when you just had your baby in here well she had the headphones on yeah yeah that's true i mean this is this is the opening yeah and we get right in it here it is it's a very small difference yeah i don't see the

But they add In God We Trust around the TriStar. Well, the ones that don't have it have three letters and then four letters in the front and then three on the other side. Oh. That shows it the same, but that's not the case. Interesting. Yeah. Wow. We're getting into it. Yeah. Deep. Mm-hmm. Well, I just thought Dusty. I mean. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's interesting. Anytime I hear a conspiracy, I just want to tell Dusty about it. Yeah. Usually he's already had of it.

Well, no, I mean, I don't care for the new tags, but I got one that has a bear on it. Yeah. See that right there. Oh, here you go. If you got in God, we trust it's three on the left and then four on the right. But if you don't, it's, it's the reverse. That is. Why would they do that?

Well, they want to. That still seems to be the same there. It still seems to be the same there. Actually, when you look at it. What do you mean? Unless there's letters that they put the numbers on the left and then the numbers are on the right. That's still three and four. Yeah, I can't believe I just counted it wrong like that. Yeah.

Wow. And you got that shirt on, Notre Dame shirt on. Wearing it. You thought today, you know what, I think I'm going to put you no-hitter today. And you get wearing your Notre Dame shirt, get knocked out of the park immediately. You go, I tell you what, boys, I go record this game, I fill it, and then boom, immediately knocked out. Wow. All right, we'll dive into that later on in the news. What's the weather today?

Oh, dude, this came up. So this is fun. A little podcast history here. This is a video by Sonny V2. I guess he's some big YouTube guy. This video is 2.6 million views. It came out five days ago. He did an expose on Planet Fitness. Yeah. Are you saying it's a guy? Oh.

Oh, man. This is great. There it is. It's just fun to be included in that. Wow. So they put your video in there like it's... I mean, you are serious. Yeah. This is journalism. Yeah. And I'm a part of it. I'm a source. You're someone that saw the tornado. That's what you look like. Yeah. Someone that goes...

This is the second thing you've showed me like that about you today, though. Oh, yeah. I'm making the rounds. I'm wearing an American flag shirt in this video, too. I do look like me. Yeah.

I love that. This is how crisis actors start, because they're like, that guy was in another video. Totally, yeah. What did... So who's this person? This is a guy named SonnyV2. He just makes random, you know, about 10-minute videos about different topics, and he did one about how Planet Fitness became hated by the world. That's what it's called. So a bunch of people tagged me, and they just included a clip of that video. It's so fun. It's not really hard to cancel. You just have to go in there. Yeah, which was kind of the whole point of my video at how...

how easy it was ultimately. Yeah, yeah. It's... People are... I mean, again, it's actually a great business model to be like, we're fine with you canceling. Just walk in the door. Yeah. And you're still like, no. Yeah. I'm not...

That's how lazy you are. I mean, maybe the hope is even that you come in there, smell a little gym air. You may get motivated to work out. They would have like, yeah, I don't even talk about it. They had pizza Fridays or something. I mean, they're doing stuff that's like, look, we don't even care. Like, stay, don't get healthy. Right.

We're fine with it. Just come in and cancel, and you just can't do it. I went to a gym the other day that was not a Planet Fitness, and I had not been into a gym like that in a long time, and I was like, whoa, these people are really working out in here. These people are in shape. Yeah. Was that in Phoenix? Yeah. Yeah, I think you shared that last episode. Yeah.

Did I? Yeah. I don't remember that. I don't know. I don't know. I listen to all your podcasts, so maybe it was a different one. Yeah. You still have multiple podcasts? Yeah, I have another one that I do. Oh, yeah. You got three or four. I think it's great. Yeah. It's good to have everyone back. It's good. Yeah, we're all back. It is good to be here. Back in the game. Yeah. Let's start with the comments this week. David Brooks.

All right. All right.

Do you flash your high beams or do you turn them off then on? What do you mean flash them? I flash them. Yeah, like if you're saying like, hey, there's a cop up here, slow down. You're warning to another car. Okay, yeah. Like you just flash your high beams, right? Just do like three times. Yeah, you don't turn them off then on.

no i flash like crazy i hate when people i get a ticket the other day i hate it what yeah i flash like crazy what were you doing just speeding yeah but like on a open road it's wide open it's a four lane it's not another car in sight yeah how fast were you going uh well pretty fast but but it's also like we're just nowhere the guy's like why are you in such a hurry and i'm like ah

You're in the middle of nowhere. I'm going downhill. Blame gravity. What was the speed? Do you remember? Well, this is the thing. It was about 20 over. Wow. But I was about to hit a new speed limit zone, so it had only been 10 over. They caught you on the cusp. Yeah, they caught you right on the cusp. And it changes all the time on this road. It's 45, 55, 45, 50, like constant changes. So you might as well just go 70 the whole way.

Exactly. That could be set up like that. Why do they set it up like that? Oh, those are speed traps. That's a known thing. Yeah, that's crazy. But they shouldn't be allowed to do that. That's all the whole town is funded, I'm sure. It's not speed traps. It's certain parts that are more dangerous and you slow down. Oh, you toe in the line. Yeah.

Speed trap sympathizer. Yeah. Scab. I like the... My guy doesn't believe in gravity. He's using gravity as his argument, so... Well, I mean, downhill is downhill. I didn't say gravity. Yeah. That's what you should talk to him about. I think you could get out of stuff. Yeah.

If you just said, what are your thoughts on gravity? Typically when I'm alone, I don't get a ticket if I get pulled over. But when I'm with other people, I almost always get a ticket. I've been pulled over with you. Yeah. You get pulled over a lot. All the time. Yeah. Yeah. That's unbelievable. Just a good amount. You're an aggressive driver. Yeah. I mean, but. You got places to go. Yeah. People to see. The big one for us in growing up, old Hickory, uh,

The town of Lakewood is in the middle of Old Hickory. It doesn't really make sense. But it was notorious that everybody knew if you go down there – I was just talking to my buddy Phillip, and his mom said, like, slow down on Old Hickory Boulevard. Right over the bridge there, right? Right when you get over the bridge – I'm talking about going the other way, but yes, right when you get over the bridge and start coming through Old Hickory, it would be – because Lakewood had their – at one point they had their own police department. Mm-hmm.

So they're only policing like almost to that bridge to like Hermitage Golf Course. So, I mean, I got tickets. My brother got tickets. Everybody got tickets because they didn't really have – there wasn't a ton, ton to do because it's like this police force that's not having to go really that far. So you would just notoriously get tickets. Still has that reputation. Still, yeah. I like the idea of like flashing lights to let someone know a cop's there. There's like something kind of –

It's the camaraderie among strangers. It's the last great place in America. It was just a cross-section of race, religion. The interstate is the last great. It's beautiful, Aaron. Angela Wade. I love how every episode peels back another layer of dust. So he's got the trailer park backstory. Yeah.

is a member of an hoa loves conspiracy theories listen to taylor swift's song shake it off and as a person of faith i'm here for all of it more please yeah i mean all those things are great i'm not a huge taylor swift fan but shake it off it's a fun song they all tie in yeah these things are all linked of all those yeah taylor swift's probably the shakiest one there well shake it off shake it off yeah it is

I had to shake it off. Matt Fisher. Nate had given up on love but was on the dating app Bumble looking for a wedding date as a joke.

In her opening line, she asked who my top three favorite comedians were, and you were the first name we both listed. We immediately bonded over our favorite Nate bits. Our first date was a local comedy show, and she was there the following week for my first open mic. I quickly realized I couldn't live without this woman, and we've been pretty inseparable ever since. Wow. That's awesome. That is a bold move, bringing a second date to your first open mic. Oh, yeah. Because I can guarantee it did not go well. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, pretty sure it didn't go well. Unless he brought all his friends, that first one. I'd like to know who the other two on the list were. Yeah. It might have gone well, but it wasn't good. You know the difference? That's the difference. Well, that's awesome. Congrats. He should share the other two comedians of both of them so we can judge. Yeah. So we can judge their picks. That was good. It was just the top one. Yeah, I mean, top one. Yeah, I mean, that obviously worked. Gallagher. Yeah.

Yeah. Right? Yeah. What if it went Nate Gallagher? And I don't even know. I don't know. Paula Poundstone. Yes. Yes. People are like, whoa, what happened here? And then she's like, oh my gosh. That is mine too. Yeah. I mean, then you're like, well, y'all should get married. Yeah.

After we talked about that ranker thing for favorite or best clean comedian, at one time all four of us were at the top four. Oh, yeah? Yeah. All right. We made it. Congrats, Matt and your lovely lady. Kaylee Lund. Kayla. Kayla Lund. Kayla. That's a tough one. I go to movie theater. It's just K-A-L-A, but it's hard. Kala. Kala. Maybe. Could be Kala Lund.

I go to movie theaters just to get popcorn. They often ask me for my ticket. I say, I'm just here for popcorn. Dusty, I know how much you love popcorn. Have you tried this? Very fun way to elevate a movie at home. Wait, so you go to the movie theater and just buy popcorn? Yeah. Wow, that seems intense and expensive.

Yeah, but I think she's going for a vibe. And the vibe when she goes home is like, you got real popcorn from home. So then you watch the movie at home. I mean, I do love popcorn, but I pop it in the skillet. You know, I pop it on a pan at home. Yeah.

Yeah. And it put a little... I mean, so what if she doesn't believe in microwaves either? So that's why she doesn't. Well, I respect it. Yeah. I've never tried this, but maybe I will. I will get into it. We've talked about this before. My old roommate used to do that. He'd stop by the movie theater on the way home and just get a large bucket. I mean... Yeah. Is that roommate's name Aaron? Chris Nicholas.

It would be great to have Nate's movie review as a weekly segment. I think we're already there. We're already there. I'm trying to think. We'll watch The Ledge. Well, I just talked about The Ledge last week. I didn't watch anything last night. Did I? No. No. No? Hold on. Hold on. I'm trying to think. Did I watch something? This is the segment. This is the... Oh, I started watching The New Scream again. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I started watching it. You're never going to watch Shawshank, huh?

I see it on sometimes, and it's like... You can't watch it on TV. You got to watch it on something. You should watch it, though, just for your own enjoyment. And you could continue to say you've not seen it, but just for your own... It would be...

I don't, I, yeah. This is your Planet Fitness. Yeah. Yeah. You know? It's going to be years. If we can watch it one day, maybe we'll all watch it. Okay. And then, you know, we could. Critique it? We could do a breakdown. And we could all go, ooh, you got to watch this part. Yeah. We could do that. Ooh, watch this part. Nate, watch this. Nate, watch this. Yeah. Yeah, there's a chance it's going to be the best ever. I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I just haven't seen it. Okay.

But Scream, luckily I already forgot it, so I don't remember who the killer is. I think I do know, and so I didn't finish it, and I got to record it. I'll rap through it again tonight. Cat Rockwell. Curious if there's a difference between dirty and crude in comedy. I don't really think so. I mean, I don't know what those words really mean. I think if you're doing one, you're probably doing the other. Yeah. I mean, I guess crude could be you're just mean, mean-spirited. There are plenty of guys that are...

you know, cursing because that's how they talk, but they're not talking about anything. Yeah, yeah. That's crude. No comic would just say that someone's a crude comic. Crude is, it would be a word that someone would use to describe comedy that's not into comedy. That's true. They would be like, I don't like it because I feel like it's very crude. But a comedian would just say dirty or not dirty. That'd be it.

Nathan Martin. My mom was at Kohl's. The craziest... She worked at Kohl's. My mom worked at Kohl's. The...

I'll just say he is. My mom worked at Kohl's. It's like you saw the W in work, and you're like, all right, well, we're done with that. We're done. We're going to his. My mom is currently at Kohl's right now. She worked there. The craziest return she ever had was when a guy returned a pair of jeans because they were dirty, torn, and stretched out. He wanted to exchange them for a new pair.

They were in that condition because he had worn them for about six years. My mom's manager told her to do the change because the customer is always right. He got new pants for free. Wow.

This was definitely years ago because that's not how returns are working these days. I tried to return some, I told you this already, but I tried to turn some oil to Walmart, some cooking oil, and they would not let me do it. So that was when I knew times had changed. Yeah. But I think Target's still pretty crazy. They're pretty good about it. Oh, yeah. I think that was more of a you thing. Maybe. I was too nice about it. I should have went in yelling.

I don't know if that was it either, but it was, this is you. But you think that they would be sympathetic and go, you know what, let's exchange this oil for this guy. I think they think you're just trying to scam them. Like, this guy didn't buy this oil here. Look at him. Yeah. He worked on the car. Did you get the receipt? No. No receipt. Just walked in with, what was it? Several gallons of frying oil. It's probably a hazard. Yeah.

They were like, you can exchange it for other oil. Yeah. We'll let you bring this oil back and get different oil. Yeah.

I was like, I don't even need the money. I just want, you know, I don't need the oil. I want to get rid of this oil. What made you buy so much oil? Well, I was going to host Thanksgiving. Oh, yeah. That's right. That's right. I think we're just going to host Thanksgiving now and use the oil. Oh, yeah. They were looking out for you in the end. So oil can go that long. Who knows? We'll find out. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be an interesting Thanksgiving.

uh yeah i can't believe they did do that cole's like how long has cole's been around feels like it's been forever but i don't mean it wasn't i wasn't a kid i don't remember it it just like popped up and then it's like that's all anybody talks about now yeah i think it was i feel like it was the 90s kind of when it took off yeah uh nick hellman up until my junior year of high school one of our men's bathroom had two toilets in one stall

No divider or anything. Those two toilets were also the only toilets in that bathroom. It was not uncommon to walk into the bathroom and see four feet in the stall. This was 2017. Wow. One of our men's bathrooms had two toilets in one stall. Golly. And they would just go in there together. Someone ripped that stall, the middle thing out.

Well, I mean, yeah, I guess they, you know, you're in. I mean, even in when I was heavy drinking, I don't I would not have shared a stall like that. Yeah. Well, are you talking about standing feet standing? I mean, that's one thing. But feet sitting. I think they were standing. It's like it's always saying four feet in this thing is they're standing.

But, I mean, you'd still see the feet. Yeah, they could be sitting. No, I know, but I don't think they're – but you can see them when they're standing, so this argument's kind of going nowhere.

Just to say, it was just very funny for y'all to say, well, you can still see them when they're sitting. I know, but you can see them when they're standing as well. But they could be sitting. They could be, but I'm just going off like... I doubt it too, yeah. No, I think he's implying they're sitting. No, no, no, no, no. There's no way. Those two tools were the only thing. It was not uncommon to walk into the embassy four feet in the stall. Well, that's not even that weird then. I mean, that's the same as a urinal.

Well, the stall door is shut, so you're going to be shocked by it a little bit. Well, I don't know. Nick, we need a follow-up. Yeah, I mean, are they standing at one toilet? We don't even know what's going on here. Nick, clear this up for us. Y'all are reading into it more than it should have been. Okay. You know. So Kohl's opened in 1927 as a grocery store, and then in 1962, they opened their first department store. Wow. So they've been around since the 60s. They've been around for a while. It's now the largest department store chain in the U.S. Good for them. Yeah.

What do you think made him switch from grocery to clothes? I think, wow, well, the brand name carries so much weight now. The amount of oil that was being returned. Yeah, yeah. The likes of yeast. What do you think Kroger could just go, you know what, we're doing clothes now? I bet they could. They could. They could. It'd be tough to buy some Kroger pants. I've had a few. Yeah.

Chase Schubert. The reason people often need to get air in their tires around the same time is because of the change in barometric pressure often overnight. So in the atmosferic... What? Atmospheric. All right. Pressure changes enough overnight, tire pressure can suddenly drop by 5 or 6 PSI. So when people get in their cars to go to work, they suddenly have low pressure warnings that they didn't have before, and they all...

converge on the same few air pump stations. He's saying over in the morning. I'm not doing this in the morning. I don't wake up. I'm not like running. Talking about when I went and got air. That makes sense. But I'm going at like, you know, the middle of the day. I'm not up there. It's not like a boom.

I'm not in morning traffic usually is what I'm saying. Right, right. But I'm in my own world of traffic. So would the move be to overfill your tires to account for this change in pressure? Probably. I say ride it out to the next season. Yeah. Let it fill back up. You ever see like because you're – when you get on a different sleep cycle, you're around different people.

So you see people that are on your sleep cycle. Yeah. Not that many suits that I see.

It is funny. You don't see a lot of ties, right? When I stay at a hotel, I'm usually, you know, if I hit the breakfast, I'm there at like 9.30 or something. And then sometimes I'll get up at like 6 or 7 a.m. And I think, I'm going to beat everybody to the breakfast. And I get down there and that's when everyone is there. It's amazing. I'm like, where have these people been? Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah.

When you work at a, like I worked at a TV station that has three shifts. They're spelled dusty. I got fire correctly, but. Oh, I thought you were writing a joke down. I am writing a joke down. I'm joking. I just thought it was good.

When I worked the TV station that has three shifts, I mean, you wouldn't, if you worked, you would always see one shift, but you wouldn't, because they would come in, there were some overlap. Yeah. But whenever I would change shifts, because I worked overnights, I worked mornings or days and I worked nights, you would work all of a sudden people that had been there for years that you'd never known. And all of a sudden you got a whole new group of coworkers, whole new group of friends. Wow. Yeah. A different world. Yeah. Yeah.

Alex Mewitt, the we-they thing when talking about sports actually has been named. I'm not sure of the academic acceptance of it, but I learned from Professor Berg and Korf. Berg slash Berging, oh, maybe Berge. Berge and slash Berging is basking in relatively glory. Reflective. Reflective. Basking in reflective glory. We kicked their butts.

And Korf slash Korfing is cutting off reflective failure. They couldn't get it together today. I'd rather not watch sports. Yeah, I don't have no idea what this is. So those are acronyms he's saying. Yeah. So basically we've had debates about, can you call it we, when you're talking about your team or whatever. In fact, the Kevin Nealon episode, we talked about that a little bit, but he's saying there's an actual term, a scientific term, I guess, uh,

Berg is when you – and I do this. When Vanderbilt is doing great, I'm like, man, we are having a great – and then when they start doing bad, which is most of the time, I'll be like, these guys just – they're terrible. Yeah. Oh, okay. They could – yeah. You say we – When we're doing well, you say we. When the team's doing well, and then they bad, you say they. I feel like this could have been done without Berg or Korf. This could have been explained without that. Yeah.

Well, that's the whole point of the message is that there's a term for it. They go, oh, you're burging right now. Is that what you would say to someone? They go, we won today. And they go, well, don't quit being a burger. Yeah. And then you're like, well, they lost. And you're like, all right, now you're a court. Now you're corphing me all over the place. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't support it. I got this jacket on. This is a John Augustine gave it to me. It's a Vanderbilt. It's like a, it's

It's a captain's jacket or something. Or no, it's something. It's special. Anchors up. Anchors up. He told me what it means, and I'm blanking on it right now. But I know it means a lot to him. Okay. And I own it now. That's cool. Yeah. So it's a one-on-one. You can't go get this. That's the point of it.

No one made it for me. And I have John's body type. Yeah. Now. You're basking in his reflected glory. I'm basking in his reflected glory. Yeah. Relative. Yes, we did do very good. They're struggling now, though. But that's how you would say it. Mary Linda Thu.

You have some ideas of who you saw? I don't want to dive in the weeds of it, but I'm not a fan.

I don't know. I laugh at my own jokes sometimes, but not hysterically. No, no. Yeah, you can – look, I'll have little moments of laughter. I'm kind of laughing at how good the joke is doing. You laugh at – you can get kind of surprised by like, man, that guy's laughing hard. You kind of laugh and you're just enjoying it. I'm doing the opposite. Yeah. I'm laughing at it.

And how badly the joke's doing. Yeah. I'll throw a laugh in there. Yeah. So you could have little stuff, but when a comic does it where it's hysterically and they can't get through the joke, that's insane. Like if they're slapping the microphone on the knee, that's too much. Yeah. Well, it's like, yeah, if they can't, there's no way. You just tell these jokes every day. I've laughed. I've never been enough where I can't get through a joke. That's insane. I don't even... I was... Yeah. Yeah.

I would go as far as to say it's impossible. There's no way. I broke out into some laughs on some riffs before. Something that I had never said before. Yeah. And I was even amazed that those words came out of my mouth. I was like, oh, that is funny. And I don't know where it came from. It's genuine. You're genuinely laughing. Yes. And so some comics can do it. It's kind of a performance kind of thing where they're doing it to be like, I can't get to... But there's...

They can get through the joke. They told the joke every night. If you go watch them, go watch them multiple. They do it every show. So you tell me every night you're like, you go through the whole tour and you're like, I, you know, I never made it through that one joke. I just, that could not get it. It's such a funny idea that I never could get. But yeah, if you laugh, you can be caught off guard. I can like, I can laugh.

I can hear someone laughing and they're laughing super hard and that makes me laugh. It's like the, it's a sound of joy that you're like, man. And then, yeah. Or if you say something kind of funny, like off you riff it and then you kind of laugh, but it's a very genuine kind of laugh, but yeah, not being able to get through it. Actors say it's harder to fake laugh than fake cry.

to really fake laugh well. Like Steve Carell does it great in the office. Everyone says like that, that is such a skill nobody talks about. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is great at it. Oh yeah. Man, she is. Taylor Driver. At the end of our group therapy session. Oh boy. No, I'm joking. That better help. At the end of our group therapy session, we went around the room to say something we were lurking forward to.

The lady next to me said she was looking forward to seeing Nate Bargetze. I said, in December? She nodded her head and asked, are you going to? I'll be there. I replied, unfortunately, we didn't talk about it more afterwards because everyone there has problems with anxiety, but comedy still brought us together in a way. That's nice. Yeah, that's awesome. Come on out.

That's y'all going. I'll be there. That's great. You know, I don't think, I mean, how much more y'all would have talked about it? Right. Yeah. You kind of did it. I mean, yeah, y'all could go. Maybe I'll see that you did exactly what it was. Organize a ride together. Wow. That's getting like. Do you want to do that? I'm anxious here just hearing about that. Like you go.

You're not going to. But I think they did it. Yeah, all right. I'll be there. All right. There we go. We talked about this yesterday. As you get older, you just stop caring about the small talk, stuff like that. What would they have talked about? Where are you going to park? Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to get popcorn, I think. Yeah. I'm going to get mine at the movie theater. I find the older I get, the more I'm into small talk.

Like, let's don't go deeper than that, but let's small talk it. Driving around the country with Dusty, the amount of times you get shut down by strangers trying to small talk them is astronomical. Oh, yeah. Yeah, just every gas station. Hey, how y'all doing today? Fine. Oh, they shut you down. Oh, yeah. All the time. Yeah. I love it, though. Yeah. It's one of my favorite things. Yeah. All right.

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All right. This week. Well, can I share something about... All right. Yeah. Do we have time? Yeah. So this shirt's Soldier's Child Foundation. Nice. So every year for the last four years, I've played in this... Reno Collier, who's a very funny comedian. We all know him. He opened for many years for Larry the Cable Guy. Yeah.

He always calls and says, we need celebrity golfers to play in this thing. And every year the same thing happens. I get out there and the group is so disappointed because obviously no one knows who I am. Every year I'm not even the most interesting guy in our group. There's always someone who has something. There's a guy who sold ads for the newspaper who they were more interested in than me.

So then they think, well, he must be a good golfer then. And then I tee it off, and I hit it 50 yards to the women's tees, and they're like, 0 for 2. You think they think that, though? I just think, why is he out here then? If he doesn't – if no one knows who you are. And when you Google me, because they said they Googled me, it comes up that I'm a musician. So they thought I sang. I think you just got to come in hotter than that. You got to come in with some attitude. Can you imagine just –

Him singing And you gotta go You know You go watch him do comedy But now you gotta go watch him With a guitar And he sings You're like Yeah Country crooner Brian Bates He walks out

And then they think, well, because it's always a bunch of great guys drunk, you know, just want to have a good time. They're like, well, that's okay. We'll just have some beer and have some fun. You ready for a cold one? I'm like, well, I don't really drink. And they're like, oh, God, this guy. So to make it matters worse, this year I'm out there. And I have allergies. Oh, my goodness. So they're like, what is this guy? To make it even worse, the group in front of me, their celebrity, Larry the Cable Guy. So I've never met Larry the Cable Guy. I see him standing there waiting to tee off.

Very unassuming. No one's bothering him. He's got his hat down. He's got his sunglasses on. So I go over to him and he could not have been nicer. He was just incredibly nice. And just, I'm like, I'm because I'm a big fan of yours. I mean, just so super nice. Could have been nicer. And as often the case with any celebrity comedian I make, I quickly name drop Nate. And I'm about to say, you know, Nate and I were just talking on the podcast about how you're, he says you're a good golfer.

And I say, Nate and I were talking on the podcast. And before I can even say any more, he said, man, I'm a big fan of Nate's. I'd love to meet him sometime. And I'm like, oh, you never met him? And he's like, no, I'd love to. I was like, you should be on the podcast. And he's like, I love that. He said, let's exchange phone numbers, you know, to make it happen. So we keep talking about stuff. And then I said, you never met Nate? And he goes, no. And then somewhere along the way, it kind of hits me.

I don't think this is Larry the Cable Guy. I have no idea who this is. And now there's some fan that I've offered up Nate's home. So now I'm trying to figure out who this is. But to be cool about it. So I'm like, where'd you come in from? Because I know Larry the Cable Guy lives in Nebraska. And he's like, I just came in from Ohio. But I'm thinking he could have had a show there last night.

So then I said, what you got coming up next? Because that's a common comedy thing. He said, I'm going to the studio tomorrow. So now I'm thinking, okay, it is somebody. I still think it may be Larry the Cable Guy. I'm not sure. So we keep talking.

And then finally it's time to tee off, so we separate. I immediately called Nate, and I was like, hey, you know Larry the Cable Guy, right? He's like, oh, yeah. And I was like, well, I just told a stranger that, you know. And Nate was like, you couldn't recognize one of the most recognizable faces in all of entertainment. And I was like, apparently not. He wears cut-off sleeves. Yeah. Yeah.

So the whole time out there, the rest of the day, I now avoid this guy because I'm like, I don't even know who I'm talking to, but we're supposed to exchange numbers and set this up. It could still be Larry, the cable guy. So I just avoid him the rest of the day and I never see him again. And I get out of there. And then when I got home, I texted Reno Collier and said, hey, who is the celebrity in the group in front of us?

And it was Cletus T. Judd. Oh, yeah. Who I've worked with many times and act like we're old friends because we are. Yeah. We know each other very well, but somehow I got him confused. I must be the most racist guy in America. I can't tell two white guys apart. So...

The bottom line is Cleese T. Judd could not have been nicer. I mean, he is a great guy. And he's probably coming on the podcast someday. I'm a fan of him, too. I like him, too. Yeah. When I was a kid, he had that If Shania Was Mine song. Yeah. Yeah. That was a big hit. Yeah. I mean, he's a great guy. He's great. But somehow I thought it was Larry the Cable Guy. Yeah. I'm a big fan of Cleese.

Uh, that's awesome. That makes it so funny. Brian Bates, musical artist. I'm a big fan of you. I can see. He was texting me during this. And I mean, I was like, I just hope it's not. Oh, you're talking about me. Yeah. Yeah. I was texting. Yeah. But we also talked about that because I immediately went back to my golf cart and Googled Larry, the cable guy, Ohio, hoping to find that he was there last night, but I couldn't find anything. Yeah. Brian Bates, musical artist. What do you got? What's your music?

Yeah, what's the songs? I don't know. I was just sent the screenshot. Well, there was one right there. Oh, that's a screenshot. Oh, okay. It's not. That's an author. You were sent the screenshot? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Tristan Ayer dropped that to me. Oh, wow. All right. Aaron Land doing some work. Behind the scenes. Behind the scenes. You have an assistant for the computer. That's right. That's right. It's too much, though. Got busy. Yeah. All right. So speaking of Cleetus T. Judge, this week we'll talk about superheroes. You're a superhero. Yeah. So the number one movie right now at the box office is Black Adam from The Rock. Okay. And then he's working.

Yep. He found some work. A bit of a drought for him. Yep. Yeah. And then this weekend, Black Panther, Wakanda Forever comes out. So superhero movies are starting to take off a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Rock is like, you almost think, you're like, is he all we got?

for entertainment like this he's got a tv show now that they just show like it's just basically i guess we just do the rock over and over again yeah and we have him do other things that's if someone a lot of rocks a lot of we do a lot of the rock i'll tell you that that's what we do the rock the most you know if someone flew down and aliens came they go what do y'all watch we go we watch the rock we only watch the rock and we watch them do different different things

He does all the remakes. He does all the remakes. You're like, who is he? It's The Rock. It's one guy. We make him do everything. A lot of people say that if we had to pick one person to represent the world to aliens, they'd pick The Rock. I don't know if I'm in that group. It is funny to think that that would... People say that... That it's a wrestler, too. You know, he started off... The only real successful transition from wrestling to movies, and now he's like the most successful. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I'd send Stone Cold Steve Austin for us in The Rock. He'd stun them? Yeah. Yeah, you don't want The Rock up there. You go, they would take him. He'd be in their movie. You want Stone Cold to bust in there and give him the stunner.

And just calls chaos. Well, he would trick them into drinking a beer, and then right when they turned, he'd stun them. This guy's a good guy. Glass break. I don't know who you would send to represent. It's definitely not The Rock. But he's charming. Yeah, but he's just a movie star in every movie. I don't think he... If you've got to think that's going to represent... I mean, that's our giant man. What?

Like he's, that does not, that's not America. Representation. Yeah, you go. So all of you are like this? You're like, yeah, we're, I mean, maybe if you want to fake them out to be like, make them rethink coming down, then I mean, send the rock and then go, this is what y'all do. Cause I'm one of the smaller ones. Right. You almost want to send Paul Giamatti, something like that. Yeah. To be like, oh, it gets better from here.

He comes from a ton of money. Paul Giamatti? Yeah. Someone just told me that. I don't know. I don't know if that's true. Makes sense. I want to say, because we were talking about actors that come from money.

And I think he's more. Yeah, I don't doubt that at all. Yeah. Yeah, it seemed like it. Because they really tricked us into the Paul Giamatti thing with the movie Sideways. Remember when that came out and everybody was like, wanted to drink wine. Even I got into a little wine after that. Yeah. I would do a couple of glasses of wine and switch to liquor. It's always a good choice. I'm just thinking about who to send to represent America. If you want to go like, this kind of wraps it up. That's a kid rock. Yeah.

Yeah, we got rap music country. We're a little bit of everything. Yeah, you go, you know.

Yeah, like Kid Roggie's like rich, but he also, I think, kind of like lives in a trailer. Somebody says he has a trailer with like an underground bunker. That's my dream. Paul Giamatti's dad was the president of Yale and also the commissioner of Major League Baseball. Yes, that's it. Wow. Oh, yeah, Bart Giamatti. I never put that together. Wow. Angelo Bartlett Giamatti. Arthur Smith, the head coach of the Atlanta Falcons, dad started FedEx. And Home Depot, I think.

Now, that's Arthur Blank, the owner of the Falcons. But the head coach of the Falcons is a billionaire just from his dad. A lot of Arthurs out here. Wow. Yeah. Good for him. I'm trying to think if you would send- I think about you. You're the greatest average American. That's true. I should go. I'll talk to him. But not a celebrity. Yeah. Come on, now. I'll support it. Yeah. Don't send me. I'll be like, I don't believe that you're from another planet. Yeah.

Yeah. They go, we already got you up here. You're who they've been abducting for years, a bunch of yous. I'll go up talking about Jesus. You know what I mean? You got to get out of here. But who would you – I don't know if you – would you send –

uh you probably sent a historian or something like someone that could tell you about it but if you but if it is like you want them to represent to be like this represents america i don't think it's the what are they being sent to do to negotiate peace talks no i think it's like just being like you know if it's like probably a time capsule if you had to send a time capsule of something and you're like we want to send this like you know they always said seinfeld the tv show would be like watch that that was like the 90s like something uh

But if you had to send, say, a person in the time capsule to Big O, we're basically all this. I think David Spade. Yeah. David Spade dressed as Joe Dirt. Yeah. That's who you send. But not everybody's like that. So you got to get some, but Spade could do both. Yes. Yeah. Spade could do both. Meryl Streep. What's your reason behind it? You got to have some. Well, she's played every role. Okay. That's true. You just don't want to play it.

I didn't say. You just threw it out there and didn't give us any info. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. But you know what? I would think they're going to make fun of the South. She'll go, and then we have these other people. God, why did we send that? And the aliens are like, yeah, we know about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're the ones that see us all the time. And you can't get by them. Maybe that's why it is. Southern people are crushing it because we don't let you buy the UFOs.

You get it together. What do you mean don't let them by? We see them. We see them all. Oh. And we're not afraid to talk about it. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. And everybody else thinks they see something, but they're embarrassed. That's true. We're outside more often too, probably. Yeah. Yeah. We have good eyes. Like good raccoon eyes. Raccoons have good eyes? I bet so. I bet they do. Yeah. What about Jimmy Carter? He shakes everybody's hand.

Jimmy Carter. He's been old now. Jimmy Carter now? He's 98, but he's a good humanitarian effort. He's been old now, though. 98. Old people didn't like him as president, though, right? Yeah. He would die up there, and the aliens are like, he died on his own. We didn't do this. We did not. Yeah.

The travel alone. He was old when you sent him up here, okay? Yeah. He goes, is this y'all's baby? Y'all's baby version is like this? He goes, no, that's the end. Yeah. That's the end of it. Jimmy Carter saw a UFO. Did he? Yeah. And he did admit it till way later in life, right?

Maybe. I think he was like governor or something when he saw it or running for... This is like in the 70s, but... Yeah, that's when his presidency started to... Once he admitted he'd seen it. Oh, really? Yeah, they started trying to take him down. I don't know. Doesn't that sound like something? It sounds like it. Yeah. Can't be having this UFO stuff. Right. Yeah. I don't know if I'll see. It seems to think someone... Who would... But I can't... Like who represents just... It's got to be a mix of everything.

Got to be a mix of everything. Can we assume, this will make things way easier, can we assume that they have some kind of technology where language is not an issue? There's no language barrier. No, no. So we can have conversations. You want just, if you got to think, California to New York to the South to Montana to Dakotas, like who do you send? So just America though. Just America. Who do you send that is kind of like everybody would be like, we're fine with that.

Everybody's got to agree. Man.

So, I mean, I understand the rock on likability. So, like, maybe we could all agree that we're, like, okay because everybody likes the rock. Yeah. So, I understand that. Tom Cruise. But for a country that is... I send Tom Cruise. He's a Scientologist. He's probably done it. He's already talking to aliens. Yeah, yeah. That's a good thing. Well, like, we're the most overweight country, right? So, you can't... No, Mexico beat us. Did they beat us? Yeah, yeah. We're back and forth with Mexico. Right, right, right. It's a battle of the juggernauts. Yeah, yeah. So, it's tough to send, like...

possibly the most in shape guy. Is it because of the, they're coming over the border of the skinny ones can make it over. I'm sorry. I thought that joke was probably too mean, but it was, that's what I thought. They're literally getting fatter just because they're the ones that can't get over. The ones trying to climb the wall. They try to climb the wall and they go, I can't do it. They're losing their skinny people. Just, I mean, rapidly. I don't, I don't know if people get mad about that one. I think it's the corn. That was a funny one.

It's the corn. We love corn. We love corn. Corn. Yeah. Both sides. You think it's the corn. It's the corn. Interesting. That makes us fat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're eating corn syrup. High fructose, nonetheless. Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks would be our one. That's a good one. I don't like him that much. I don't either. All right. It's going to be tough. Okay. Joe Rogan.

yeah he's not polarizing at all no no but to go with the country yeah yeah but it would be i mean a lot of people listen to him oh yeah and then he's like he was a you know a host on he lived in hollywood he would know all this stuff good at having conversations good at conversation yeah already believe way in on it right i don't know me yeah okay i'd take him yeah bozo the clown mickey mouse ronald mcdonald yeah do you know bozo the clown

It's a name I've heard. I know that it's a clown, but I'm not familiar what it's from. I can't visualize it in my head. Is it just like a clown? Is it from a movie? Yeah. It's the number one clown. Bozo the Clown. I don't know if he's bigger than Ronald McDonald.

Uh, he was, he was, Ronald McDonald was out there selling merchandise. I mean, Bozo was like, I'm a clown, dude. I have my own show. He had his own show. You know those little buckets that you throw a ball and it like bounces? Wasn't that Bozo? I think so. Bozo seems completely insane, though. Part of that is from Seinfeld, where George Casanza argued. Yeah. John Favreau was a clown and he'd never heard of Bozo the Clown. Yeah, yeah. Oh. Yeah.

I definitely recognize Bozo the Clown. This is the quintessential clown look. About Krusty the Clown. Krusty the Clown, right? From the Simpsons. Simpsons, yeah, that's... Bozo came to Lebanon in 19... probably 78. And my mom took... That was a big day, man. My mom took my sister and I to see him. That was a big day. That's Lebanon for you. Yeah. And Channel 2 News came and filmed it. And...

at Vacation Bible School, my teacher said, I saw you on the news and I mean, it made my year. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Several years probably. Yeah. Yeah. Still has. The only TV credit I have, so. Was that like, when Bo was, that was in the paper, that was. Oh, it was a big deal. It was a big deal. Yeah. Man. I mean, my mom took me down there. You got a picture of it?

Maybe somewhere. Yeah. I'd love to see it. It's not clear. I'll tell you that. It's pretty blurry. Black and white. It was right when they switched to color. Oh, okay. Man. Yeah. No, that's probably not true. They had color in the 60s. Yeah. They're not clear. I'll tell you that. Yeah.

So what would you say is the most popular superhero in the world? Superman. Maybe Spider-Man, but I think Superman. I would have said Superman. Spider-Man, according to a recent poll. Who's asking these polls? I know. Actually, I think this was Google search. Oh, Batman possibly too. Spider-Man was one, Batman two, Superman three. Superman's getting a bad rap. It's like they keep trying to make those movies, and I like Superman.

Why do people not... It's because he's too powerful. This is what I feel like they need to do. They need to make more Superman movies where Superman is just rescuing people. Quit having him fight crazy. Just let him rescue people. Well, the older Superman movies were great.

You're talking about the Christopher Reeve. Yeah. So, yeah. So originally Superman... Well, originally Superman was a villain. The guys who created him was a villain, like a mad scientist. And then that quickly, they're like, you know what? Let's make him a good guy from another planet. And then they sold it to...

You know what? Let's change everything. Yeah, exactly. These guys are right out of high school. He flies too now. All right. Grew up on a farm. Don't get ahead. That sounds like scientist. So they're like, no, we didn't do this. They sold it for $130 DC comics for the right to this. Man. And more than that now.

A little bit. A little bit. They sued later on to get more money. Of course. So Superman at first could not fly. It's a bird. It's a plane, a Superman. Up on the sky. Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings single bound. Yeah. He couldn't fly. He could just jump really high. Okay. And then this other competing comic book came along and they had Captain Marvel. Not the Captain Marvel. There's a Captain Marvel now. This is a different Captain Marvel. And he could fly.

And then people started reading those comic books and they're like, well, this guy's even more powerful than Superman. So then DC were like, well, we're going to make Superman fly. So this kept going for a while. And then it got to the point where Superman was so powerful that people lost interest. Cause it's like, what's the point? He can do anything. He could, you know, destroy planets with a punch. He could, it was just so ridiculous. And then, uh, comic books started to wane in like the fifties and sixties. Cause like nobody cares.

Batman became more popular because he was a little bit more identifiable, I guess, in a way. And then Marvel came along in the 60s and Stan Lee started creating characters that were more for adults, not just for kids. And that's when Spider-Man came along. Like real people, just something happened to them and now they've got to deal with all these powers and stuff like that. And then the movies, yeah, Superman, Christopher Reeve in the 70s,

Then they made it. That's when they were like a hit and it kind of took off. Those were great. And, uh, not great now, but they were great back then. But to your point, the recent ones, they've gotten so dark that there's no rescuing somebody from a tree or, or anything. It's just, let's get as dark as we can immediately. Yeah.

That's why like an origin story with Superman is always good because you see him like growing up, rescuing people, fighting, beating up like bullies. That kind of stuff's always fun. Well, I always thought, why didn't he play football? Yeah. I mean, I think about that actually probably pretty often.

I think in the Christopher Reeve one, there's one scene with football. Yeah, yeah. He kicks a football. Yeah. But it's like, I know he couldn't, but I think about it all the time. I'm like, can you imagine if he would have played? Like, it's just... In the show Smallville, where it's about his teenage years, he plays on the football team. Oh. But he makes an agreement with his parents, if I remember correctly. Maybe it's just with himself. He's like, I'm not going to use my powers on the football field because I'll just...

Yeah, what's the point? Yeah. Yeah, what am I even doing here? Yeah. One episode, he gets the ball. He runs like 50 miles away, saves somebody, and runs back so quick that they don't even recognize he's been gone in the play and then scores a touchdown. Oh, wow. So that's why he's doing it every once. Was he all-state? I'm sure he was pretty good. I mean, Kansas, come on. There's not that many good players. How do you...

play and like try to play hard but not use your powers like where do you draw the line yeah where you're like I'm only gonna be regular strong yeah you gotta have a switch

And you turn it off. It's got to be modes. Yeah, it's like you got to just be – it's like probably jogging and running and sprinting. You just kind of go like, I'll just jog. And then you're like, oh, got tackled. Like say you're the running back and you're on the goal line and you're like, oh, I know that I could get it in, but I'm just going to like go light at it. Yeah, would he get tackled? I don't even know. I don't know. I only remember one scene in my head of him just –

doing whatever he wants. I think he gets to play, but all the other team has kryptonite. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to try to find a clip of him playing football. Yeah. You'll like this, Dusty. It's a little Adam Sandler thing going here. All Superman's love interests are LL. Oh. There's Lois Lane, of course, but then on Smallville, there was Lana Lang, Sasko's sweetheart, Loris Lamaris, and then Lex Luthor is, of course, his enemy. His enemy, yeah. Because your wife becomes your enemy.

Yeah. Yeah, he dated Lex and then things changed. No, I'm just saying that's why it's all LLs. Yeah. No matter what, even in marriage, your spouse becomes your enemy. Yeah, yeah.

Everyone who's played Superman, at least up until recently, something really bad's happened to them. Oh. George Reeve, who played it on the TV show, he committed suicide. Christopher Reeve, of course, was paralyzed and died. Some other people had... Dean Cain, just people started not liking him. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I feel like that would happen to Dean Cain. That show did good, too. It did. Yeah, that was...

What is it? Lois and Clark. Lois and Clark, yeah. Terry Hatcher. Yeah. Yeah. A comedian told me he went up to Dean Cain at an event to meet him, and Dean Cain was like, are you buying something? And he was like, no. And he goes, all right, move on. I respect that. Yeah, me too. Superman briefly had a mullet.

Oh, Joe Dirt. Yep. So we talked about on a previous episode, he died in a battle with Doomsday. And then, of course, they brought him back. When he came back, he had a mullet. Yeah. What happened to the first Superman you said? That what? Like in real life, what happened to him? He committed suicide. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, he apparently could fly. But my dad would always talk about that, like how Superman now just takes off from the ground. But the old Superman had to run. Yeah, do a run and start. Yeah. Had to kind of get going. Yeah. Yeah.

Now Superman just... You just see him run. He's like bouncing like that. Like the first airplane taking off. He's like, I almost got it. Well, they... Yes. That's the problem with all these super... What was it? Lewis and... Oh, they were explorers. They were explorers. Not the airplane people. The Hulk, same thing happened. The Wright brothers. Yeah. Yeah.

The Hulk, they just kept making him stronger and stronger and stronger to the point where no one cared because it was ridiculous. There was World Breaker Hulk where he would just take a step and the earth would crack in half and stuff like that. And people were like, what's the point? It became so ridiculous that it wasn't even fun. That's what I think are great about the Marvel movies. They all have a weakness of some sort. Yeah. Yeah.

I saw Matthew McConaughey on Instagram and posted something about who he liked, superheroes, and I just saw him read it, and he said the Hulk. But with him, everything he says, it's like a whole thing. Oh, yeah, yeah. It goes, he's like, I like the Hulk. I didn't even watch it. I only saw it two seconds. I can't. I can't. This can't be some message. Yeah, it's all philosopher McConaughey now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was there a message? And I like him. He could be someone you send.

That could actually be... He'd weird them out, dude. Yeah. He'd kind of get them on their toes. Like, what is this guy? But he's almost... He could be one that could be sent. Because, I mean, he is from the South. I feel like he can somewhat talk to both sides. Yeah. But, yeah, he does. He's like, I like to hold... It's like all this big thought out and you want to just be like, oh, my gosh, I just want to... I should have never said anything to you. Like, I should have...

Do you want rice? That's what I meant to ask. What do you want to eat? It might have been in his story. Did you ever see his video, his first ever video on Instagram, like where he's introducing himself to this dude? Yeah.

He's like, I'm looking forward to this, man. He's like, I'm looking forward to seeing if Who I Am translates. Yeah. Seeing if I tickle your funny bone, make you think. Yeah. What is going on? Yeah. But I bet if you meet him, it's the best. I'm sure he's great. I think it's got to be the best. He's a guy, though, that if he's not attractive, everything he says is creepy. Yeah. That's a good point. It's like too much.

Yeah, like he's like, I want to see if what I'm saying tickles your funny bone. If he's a weird looking dude, you're like, all right. Let's see if who I am translates. I think I'm trying to shut down Instagram. Did I say that? Yeah. Or not shut it down, but I need to just... You talked about it. I talked about it. On the podcast? No, off camera. Yeah. Off the record. I'll bring it on the record. I'm trying to... Because I think it makes you think, like I said, I'm trying to create a new act.

And it makes you think, like, kind of short. Yeah. Like, it's very quick. You think quick. You're looking for jokes. Like, you just think of, like, this is a funny quick thing. Like, it's not, like, an act. And your mind is, like, just kind of, like, just, like, kind of devouring that kind of stuff. Oh, you mean, yeah, just watching it. Watching people's jokes. Yeah, yeah, just watching it. Like, I think it's, like, getting me into, like, everything thinks quick. So then I'm, like, well, I need to, like, not be on it because, you know.

At least until my special comes out. Especially if you try to cater all your material for Instagram. If you're trying for Instagram material, which I think a lot of people are now. I mean, who doesn't want... Everybody wants their hits, but... Yeah, but I'm not...

trying to make it for Instagram, but when you're watching, all you're watching is stuff that's made for Instagram, then you start thinking like that. Yeah. One minute segments. Yeah, and I don't want to think like, like right now, I'm like, I can't be thinking like this. And I'm, that's the problem. So.

Dusty, are you more of a Marvel guy or DC? I'm Marvel all the way. I mean, I'm pretty bored with all superhero stuff because it's like, I mean, 10 years ago or more when it started coming out, it was so exciting. But now it's like, I mean, it's all the movies. That's been 20 years ago. Yeah. I mean, it's all the movies now. I mean, when Endgame ended, I was like, all right, this is where I'm done.

And then I'm like, I'll watch some here and there on a plane or something, but I'm really done keeping up with the story. You were a big superhero fan. Yeah, I loved those. I mean, I had a bunch of comic books as a kid. I still got a bunch of comic cards. I should have brought the cards. I got so many cards. They're so fun. Good you didn't bring them. Yeah. Or good you didn't bring them. I don't know. I think.

I mean, they would be great. Yeah. It would have been nice for the superhero episode. Yeah. That's okay. Yeah. I mean, they're great. They're great. I have three good collections of superhero cards. Full collection. That's so great. I'm sure we'll do another something attached to superheroes. Yeah, and I'll bring them. Yeah. And you'll bring them then? I'll bring them then. Yeah. But the... I loved it. I just... So I never... But I've never been a huge reader, right? So I didn't really read the comic books. Yeah. Quotes. Yeah.

He did quotes around reading. So people that are quote listening. Yeah. So I would watch them. So now I would look at them. I would look at the books. Punisher was my favorite, which was the most disappointing of all the Marvel shows to me because I was so excited. But the movies. So you get to see these comic books come to life and it's so great. But now we're all into comic books that I don't remember. Yeah.

And it's all getting all witchy now, too. I mean, I watch that Doctor Strange Multiverse of Madness. I'm like, well, this is – I'm muting parts because I'm like, I don't want to hear your spells. I'm not trying to get into a spell. You know? Yeah. I get it. You know? Like WandaVision, I love that show, but as it got to the last couple of episodes, it got real witchy. I would completely mute it. I was like, I don't know what you're doing here. Yeah. I don't know what you're summoning up. You're not summoning things in my house. Yeah. Yeah.

You get everybody. You make everybody sleep with those headphones we had Eleanor on. Yes. Yeah.

like kind of like a metal around them oh yeah yeah uh yeah we did uh i posted it on instagram but youtube we did like a haunted we like haunted house but then justin schubert who films all that he was like doing the thing we talking in the recorder and say hey are you and listen for the answers and we did it i was like it was fun and funny at first but then the more i've thought about is like i didn't like that like i don't want to do that

I like going to see a haunted thing, or if it is haunted or something like that. But then it was like talking to him, you're like, eh. Yeah. Nickerson was like, nah. Yeah. Yeah, he was like, I'm not having it. Yeah. And I thought back, I was like, I don't know if I should have been. But, you know.

I have some weird dreams now. Too late now. You brought it here to the studio. Well, my mom brought some toys that I had as a kid one time. And they were like these little, I don't know, weird kind of medieval toys where it was like a Minotaur and all this stuff. And I was like, oh. And then the box, it was real old. The box smelled weird. And I don't know what it was. But I was like, oh, this is fun. I remember these. And I put them in a closet.

And then that night I had a dream about something. I had a dream that I was upstairs in that room where that closet is. And my TV kept cutting on and I kept turning it off. And then the TV would come back on. I'm like, why does this TV keep coming on? And then I woke up and I felt so weird that I went up there and I got those toys and I threw them in the trash. I was like, I don't know what that is, but it felt like it brought something into the house. And I'm like, I am not into that.

And then you think the trash was enough to get it. Was the trash in the house? No, no, it was outside. Oh, of course. I mean, I went outside. Yeah. I think so. I think it got it. I mean, you know, I prayed, but I think it. Just the trash get in his room. No, no, it was gone. I was like, this is getting out of here. You came back in and there was back in the house. Yeah. The ghosts have a lot of weakness. The fact that you can just go, whatever the thing they are, you can be like, I'll just put you outside. And they're like, all right. Well, I think they could be attached to things, you know? Yeah. I don't.

I don't know. No, I know, but I'm saying then you just get it outside and it's like, ah, dude. Yeah, just haunting the trash can. Haunt the trash can all you want. He locked the door too. He locked the door. I'll give that to the trash man that you want me to fight. Yeah, pay him a little extra. Yeah. Well, now there's a Superman comic book. His son has taken over, Jonathan.

Superman has a son? Jonathan Kent. Jonathan Kent. He goes by John. John Kent. John and Clark. Does he have a name? Like a superhero name? Superman Jr.? Superboy. It's called Superman's Son of Kal-El. I think he's Superman himself. Now, he's in a same-sex relationship.

And so he's come out as bi. And the things now he fights is he combats wildfires caused by climate change. He stopped a high school shooting. And he protested the deportation of some refugees from Metropolis. There you go. That sounds about right. Well, it sounds like if he's Superman, though, he just could stop all those things. You don't need to really protest. He stopped the high school shooting. If you're protesting anything as Superman, you're not really utilizing your powers.

Like, why protest? Just stop it. Imagine being on a protest with Superman and he's like, let's stop doing this. And they're like, other people are like, why don't you just stop it? But I mean, that's him just like saying, I'm taking over the world and breaking these laws. And that's not Superman. He honors the government. But this is John Kent. This is not Clark. This is a new age of Superman. Stuff that I think, you know, Superman, that age group is going through with their kids.

He's like, I'm in the protest now. He's like, oh, yeah. Oh, boy. Here we go. Yeah, I'm not saying Clark supports it. Clark's probably, like you said, he's rolling his eyes. Louis, this is your son. I guess I'm just saying, if I'm a protester... I told you we should move back to Kansas. Yeah. Yeah. If I'm a protester and Superman's out there with me protesting, I'm like, just do something about it. Yeah. Just blow a little bit. Yeah. Freeze some people out here. Yeah, just...

Stop global warming. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just figure his ice caps are melting. Okay. Go... Just fade him a little bit. Yeah. Go ice him, dude. Yeah. Christopher Reeves' Superman froze an entire lake with his breath and then carried that lake to put out a fire. Yeah. This new Superman's protester. The new one says that's what we should do. Yeah. And you go, yeah, but you should... You can do it. Yeah. And he goes...

I shouldn't have to do it. Right. Because he doesn't feel it. Right. Yeah. Because he could be anxious. That's true. The new Superman could be anxious. That's what they should do is create a new Superman that he's like, I don't... I just don't like going fast. Yeah. And they go, okay, but...

Like it's someone's going to fall off that building. He goes, I'll get there when I get there. That's not my responsibility. And it's a Superman that does not solve anything, but he's on just, I mean, every morning he gets up and just got a sea of medication before his mirror. So he attacks the day. But none of it works because his body's too strong for it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be fun.

There's now, I guess there was just a movie, an animated movie about super dogs or super pets. And Superman had a dog, Crypto. And he had the intelligence of a human. Not very creative. They just named all of it, like everything. That's also what he calls his money. Yeah. Cryptocurrency. Yeah. Isn't Crypto, that's what hurts him too. Yeah. And so he calls his dog Crypto. But he's from Krypton. Oh. Yeah. Man, good thing he left then, huh? Yeah, yeah. Dangerous place. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what we need is super dogs. Yeah, what would the dog do? I think he had a lot of the same powers as Superman. Wow, that seems terrifying. Yeah. Come on now. He's whistling. He's just gone. Throw a ball. He goes and gets it in California. What is the point of a cape? Because this dog has a cape. Drag.

I think it's an advertisement because otherwise you're like, well, is that Superman or is that just Joe Blow up there? Yeah. Right. But he's got a cape. For the purpose of the dog, I'd say he's right. There's a lot of superheroes that wear capes, though. Yeah, but I'm saying what is... I know. I know. It's just the costume. So many that sometimes they'll say not all superheroes wear capes. Yeah. I would... That's where Spider-Man's like, yeah. I'd wear a cape, but I would be like, I would have some sleeves. I'd want a full suit. I'd want a... Yeah. Yeah.

That's like in the Wolverine movies, they never have him have the hat on. In the comic books, he always had that kind of helmet, the full yellow suit. You never get that. He always wore the suit under Superman. But that would be, does he ever take it off? Well, I think he wears it to work.

Yeah. But he's got to put that on in the morning. It's super tight. Yeah. Yeah. It's not comfortable. But I guess he's so strong that when you pull socks, it's just he does it so much faster. Well, he used to go into a phone booth change. Yeah, but he would have it on. I know it, but I'm saying he can't do that anymore because there's no phone booths. Yeah, where did he put his suit? Why would he have to go to a phone booth to change if he's just wearing...

He got to take his clothes off. He doesn't want people to know Clark Kent just turned into. Phone booth see-through? Yeah, it didn't make a lot of sense, but no, he does it so quickly.

Then why even go into a phone booth? Because there's a phone booth right there. Why are you not going to go in a phone booth? Change? If you wanted to change and you saw a phone booth, I think you'd go in. A little modesty there. Yeah. But if I were just changing into something that I'm wearing underneath this, I'd just take it off. Yeah, but if you didn't want me to know you're the guy that is the guy. Yeah, well, jump up to the moon real quick, change, and then jump back down. Or just go to the bathroom. Yeah, but it's like a whole thing. Yeah. Yeah.

I think that phone booth is anonymous. If you go into the bathroom, they're like, I saw Clark just go in there. And then Superman comes out and you're like, what happened to Clark? Yeah. And Superman's like, he didn't go in there. You could say, well, there's multiple people in that bathroom. See a phone booth though is you're like, wait a second. I saw Clark go in there. He goes, I walked to that phone, but there's 15 people in there. He goes, go in there. Maybe that's the reason for the double toilet in the stall. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. So Clark and Superman can both go in there. Yeah.

There you go. Figured it out. Yeah. In the 90s, Marvel was about to go bankrupt, and Michael Jackson tried to buy them so he could play Spider-Man. All right. But I guess they figured a way to stay afloat and not have Michael Jackson buy Marvel. Because he was going to take his own spin on Spider-Man for sure. I mean, how much? That dude had so much money. I think that'd be awesome. He was a corporation.

Yeah. Like, that's what's crazy, but it was like he was versus now it's corporations. But like that guy, just to be able to be like, I'll buy Marvel. Didn't he buy all the Beatles things too? What about this? What was it? Spider-Man 3 where Tobey Maguire was like the evil Spider-Man. He had that dancing scene that everybody references all the time now. Imagine...

If that were Michael Jackson. It'd be good. It would have been amazing. Yeah, I don't know if I know. Oh, I kind of, yeah, I don't know. I kind of remember this. It would have all been worth it. It would have totally been worth it. I like Spider-Man a lot. I like Superman a lot, but Spider-Man does. I don't like his attitude. Which one, really? Any of them. They're all a little too sassy for me.

Superman's not. That's just, I'm talking about Spider-Man. Oh. Oh, you're saying all the Spider-Mans are a little sassy. Oh, I thought you meant every superhero. A little arrogant, a little sassy. Tobey Maguire was, they're all so whiny. They're always so whiny, like, oh, I can't get my, I can't ask my girlfriend on a date. And it's like, you're Spider-Man, dude. Yeah, you should be dealing with, you should be

you just you still shouldn't have your head wrapped around you being shooting webs out of your own body that you should be like god i want to go on this date with this girl you're like yeah dude we're like four months ago you were a regular person so let's focus on yeah how are you already adjusted back to every day should be like i just this isn't like i mean you should honestly not even remember that girl just because she's where you've been you're like you don't know what i'm

I'm going through right now. A lot of stuff. Especially the latest Spider-Man, right? He's gone to space and he was dead for a while. Did he go to space? He went to space with Iron Man up in a ship. And now you're worried about asking your high school crush on a date?

Yeah. You've done a lot. You've got to be 40 now, too. That's had to have built some confidence. Yeah. How old is he? I mean, I guess he's just the same. It's a different one, so they're the same. Yeah. So they're always in high school.

Every movie, they go, let's start this movie again. But yeah, in the last one, they're all going to college, right? I think so, yeah. Oh, yeah. And the last one was fun because we're getting into the multiverse, which is, I don't know, pretty boring to me. But they brought all the Spider-Mans into one movie. Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield, and whatever the new guy's name is. Oh, really? All into one movie. And they were all dressed as Spider-Man? Yeah. They were Spider-Mans from different...

Timelines. The multiverse. And all the villains that they all fought all came back too. Yeah. So it was pretty fun in that sense. What were they doing? So they're just doing... That's all that's happening now is everything is like, oh, we're on a different timeline. It's just like, well, you got the Titanic behind them, dude. You're like, we're just jamming movies into movies. Yes, exactly. Exactly. Like, that's just... It's too much. That's why even the Doctor Strange and the multiverse madness, it's just...

They're going, they're all in a different, oh, this is the Doctor Strange of this timeline. And it's too much. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. Is that what they do? They always say that's what they did in comic books. Like, did they used to do this in comic books or something? I don't know. I think so. Probably so. I mean, they can just do whatever. But yeah, if you want to bring somebody back, just change the timeline of history. I mean, in the first Superman, Christopher Reeve,

Lois Lane died, and then he flies so fast backwards around the Earth, he reverses time. Yeah. Yeah. Why not? Why not? Yeah. Could have just done that right out of the gate, but...

Yeah, why not do that whenever any of the bad guys are coming to town? I was going to say, it could solve a lot of problems. It could be solved that way for sure. It's probably a lot on his body, I think it was. Yeah, probably wore him out. I think maybe he wasn't supposed to do that. It was a big day. But then he just... He just did it. Yeah, I think that was it. It's like you can't mess with that, but he... He wasn't supposed to, but he did it. He did it. In Harry Potter, the third book of Harry Potter, one of the characters has a little device, a time turner, like an hourglass that you flip over.

And you just go back in time. And it's pretty important for that book, but then it's just never used again. Yeah. And all the other books. It could solve literally any problem in the wizarding world with this time turner, but they're just gone. Yeah. Yeah, because time travel makes the plot boring. Because then when no one can really die, then what are we doing? We're not invested in anything. But Black Widow really died in Endgame. Yeah. Another big spoiler. Yeah.

Was that a big deal? Yeah, it was a pretty big deal. I don't know who Vlog the Widow is. Yeah, I don't know who it is. Well, I know what you mean. Yeah, and then, you know, and Tony Stark really dies. Yep. But it's like, for the most part... Those are pretty giant. Yeah, that's Iron Man, right? Well, this was several years ago, though. Well, it came out after The Family Man. Yeah. Let me get to Family Man first. When was...

Yeah, when did that Tony, that one came out? Because that was a big, I remember everybody going, it's crazy. I think 2019 I watched it. Yeah. Yeah, 2018, 2019. They came out back to back. It was a two-parter there. Yeah. It just, yeah, it does. They're great if you committed to the whole 19-

movies or whatever, Marvel movies, whatever it was. I don't think I could keep it together. It's a full-time job. Yeah. It's hard now. If you watch them as they came out, but to get caught up, no way. Well, because I thought like, all right, maybe you go through them and you're like, you go, let's watch them all and go through them and see, you know, but it's like, yeah, you would, you can't have anything going on. See you in 2024. Yeah. You can't have anything going on. And now there's shows too. That's all canon, I guess. So it's all part of it. That's Star Wars. I mean, Star Wars is doing, you know,

It's just they got that new thing. And my brother, my dad and brother love it all.

Yeah, I've lost, I love Star Wars and Marvel, but now it's just, it's a full-time job with all these shows. I haven't seen Loki, I haven't seen. Thor Ragnarok is the best. It's like you were in another room and you just walked back in. It's like you were in another room and you just walked back in. Just think about my baby. He goes, yeah, yeah, I hear you. It's like a full-time job trying to watch all this stuff. Yeah.

There's some real life superheroes. There's a guy in Seattle, Phoenix Jones, and he's a mixed martial arts guy. And he walks around in a superhero costume and he polices Seattle. Oh, this guy's incredible. That guy's really got his work cut out for him these days, though. Seattle's pretty wild now.

Maybe it's because we're missing Phoenix Jones. I like that. What did he do? Does he still do it? I think he maybe, the police have convinced him to stop doing it because he was just causing more trouble. Making too much progress. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's what, yeah. I'm way on board now. Like, yeah. Like, I think he should let him do it. There's a guy in Nashville. Did I send you that one? The guy that, what's his name? Master Legend?

No, I think he's the guy in Orlando, but maybe I didn't say it to you. There was a guy. Oh, in the Viper? Well, that guy's in Columbia, Tennessee. Columbia's got one. Oh, really? Yeah. But anyway, he just walks through. So there's a lot of towns that have- How are we just breezing over this? So what does this guy do? It says Tennessee's unemployed, which is 10.3% of the workforce. When did this article come out? This came out 2010. Okay, July 8th. Very recent. Okay.

Uh, one man in the small town of Columbia is almost certainly jobless as even become a superhero. He's dubbed himself the Viper. He wears a green suit and a mask, no pictures of him in this article, which is pretty upsetting. That's good. I think he's, he's, he's doing a good job. Yeah. Yeah.

So far has only succeeded in annoying the local police who say he violates an ordinance against wearing masks in public places. Boy, times have changed. That's crazy. This guy's a hero now just because of wearing a mask. Yeah, yeah. This guy was ahead of his time. He goes, I'm sorry, I was fighting COVID in 2010. So what laws, like if these superheroes were real,

What laws would they... I mean, you'd have to have some major insurance. Well, just imagine Superman in that one that came out. Yes, that's such a real... Like, we brought Dusty in as a superhero. Well, you're right. I did. Yeah, in you go. Dusty, go ahead. Well, Superman...

Superman in the first, whatever the one that came out most recently of that series, the first one where he fights the people from his home planet. Right. And they completely destroy the city. I mean, the two of them are shooting through buildings and the buildings are falling down or the Marvel Avengers movie, the first Avengers where they completely destroy the city. It's like, okay, yeah, you saved us potentially. We don't know what the aliens were about to do.

and you completely destroyed the city. And, I mean, probably most people died in these buildings. And then in Batman v Superman, the next one, there's a guy who got paralyzed from their fight, if I remember correctly. Probably so. Multiple. And they went to Congress to try to stop Superman because he's causing damage. Does anybody tally up the damage? I feel like I've heard about that or something. Like, they go, like, it would cost...

trillions of dollars, you know, these superheroes did. I know. Well, that's not very much. Matt Damon, he's been rescued from another planet three times. And I think they said it would cost like a trillion dollars to, to do that.

Wow. Martian and... The Martian and then Interstellar and then there's one other movie. He might be a good representation. Is he in Interstellar? Or is that Matthew Moriarty? They're both in it. Oh. I thought I've been thinking about watching that one. Interstellar's really good. Oh. I've been thinking about doing that one. I see it all the time. I think I've already said this, but I don't even believe the stuff going on in there, but it blew my mind. Yeah. Oh, Saving Private Ryan was the third one where he got rescued. That was probably a little bit cheaper. Yeah. That was like 40 bucks. Yeah.

So in Zack Snyder's film, Man of Steel, they estimate that he caused $2 trillion worth of damage and killed 129,000 people. Wow. And do we even know if Zod had bad plans for the planet? I mean, maybe Zod wanted to just live down here for a while. I think he said, turn over Superman or we're going to destroy your planet. Wasn't that his message to Earth? Yeah, he just wanted Superman. Which is a deal. Yeah. But if you said he was going to destroy Earth...

You got to be like, all right. Yeah. Yeah. Superman's impact was comparable to the Nagasaki nuke. So, yeah, dude, he's a menace. So turn over Superman. So, yeah, it seems like, well, let's just give up Superman. Yeah. We didn't even know we had him not long ago. We were doing fine without him. Yeah, but maybe you need him, you know?

Well, every time these superheroes show up, right after, there's a supervillain that shows up. So you're right back where you started. At least Batman seems to come out to fight the crime. He fights crime. Yeah. He's fighting the city that looks like it's pretty badly run and corrupt. Especially Tim Burton Batmans. Those Michael Keaton ones. I mean, that city looks wild. Does Bruce Wayne leverage any of his billions of dollars to like...

Help improve the city that way. No, he just buys cars. Yeah. That tears up, that does more damage to the city. Yeah. Goes through buildings. Yeah. He's got to be like, hey, I got to shoot out under this. He's got to go to the city board to be like, I'm going to... I got like a spider type car. If y'all don't mind, I'm going to do it. Like...

I'm going to come to the Lincoln Tunnel. I'm going to go up through that. They go, all right, is it going to be workable after? They go, no, damn it. Millions of dollars worth of damage. I don't even, yeah, priceless. The damage is priceless is what I'm going to do. But I pop out. Yeah, just count on not using it anymore. Yeah. They're like, could you just have like a regular garage and stuff like that somewhere? Could you live in New Jersey? Yeah, yeah. Would you be fine with that?

And yeah, he has a car that even drives up the side of a building in one of the movies. I think I read one of these cities, either Metropolis or one of those superhero cities, they have like insurance for the city. I got a superhero who lives here, so we're just going to have a $100 billion insurance policy or something like that. Wow. What insurance company agreed to that? Yeah. What citizens agreed to pay...

The taxes, whatever it is to cover it. Yeah. I mean, that's like you'd be building a new stadium every day. Yeah. Every day would just be, we're doing a new dome stadium. Oh, boy. Your buddy saves all the money. Yeah. I don't want to complain. Yeah. That would be a, it would be a battle just going, well, we could be frozen. And you go, I know. Yeah. Don't upset him.

You got to move. I mean, no one would... The crime would probably be gone because you would just... Everybody would be like, we're just moving out of this. Well, that's what I always think. Like, if you got Superman in Metropolis and you're the bad guy, maybe just pick a city that Superman's not in. You know, be a villain in, you know, LA. Metropolis, Illinois. Yeah. Go check that out. Yeah. Go to Casino. So some unsuccessful superheroes that never took off. Red B...

This guy carried trained bees in his belt, and he would turn them loose. His favorite bee was named Michael, and he would turn them loose. That's what killed it. Yeah, yeah. That's what killed it. You can't have a bee named Michael. Even in his real life, he was the assistant district attorney, not even the district attorney. Oh. And he was eventually killed by some Nazis. Wow. Whoa. That took a turn. They brought it into the real world, huh? Golly. Yeah.

Maybe if he worked a little harder at being a district attorney than training bees. Michael. Michael? Yeah. Michael, over here. How do you even know? Which one's Michael? Yeah. Mikey. Michael. Michael. Bible man.

This was a TV series that lasted for a while. He would go up against deadly, sinful enemies and he would... How many seasons is that? 19 seasons. Oh my gosh. That's hard to say that was unsuccessful. Wow. Yeah, you're right. It was... The longest running shows on TV history. Yeah, I mean, Bible Man. Yeah. Yeah.

And I looked at some videos on YouTube. It's very cheesy, but they know it's cheesy, so they're not trying to... It's tongue-in-cheek. Yeah, they're not trying to act like we think. He doesn't even seem to be carrying a Bible, though. Well, he's got it all memorized. That's right. I guess, yeah. I'm sure he's got it in his pocket. But yeah, Madam Fatale was a guy who dressed up as an old lady. Yeah.

And then... I think I opened for her once. Comedy Zone gig. And... Is it Madame Fatal, maybe? Yeah, probably. It's spelled F-A-T-A-L. Okay. Fatal would be... Madame Fatal would be too on the... You're like, well, I don't know if I trust...

You're right. You know, like how would you, if that was the name though, you go, you want some cookies from Madam Fatal? You're like, I don't know if I want, or you go Fatale, but yeah, I have a couple. Yeah, that's probably, yeah, good. What made the guy decide that he would dress up as an old lady?

It's like a Mrs. Doubtfire type thing. I want to babysit your kids. He wanted to fight crime, but he doesn't have any real superhero power, but he's a good fighter. So he thought if he dresses up as a woman, then it'll be unassuming. That's his superpower. He surprises them. He'll sneak up on people. Yeah, old lady. He wants to be a superhero, but he doesn't have superhero powers. Yeah. So then he dresses like a woman.

And then fights him just with his regular body? I think he's a great fighter, like, just as a person. Yeah. And then they say, oh, look at this old lady. And then he, like, punches him. They're like, that lady packed a punch. Yeah, he's surprised by it. Yeah. He uses a cane as his weapon. Yeah. Yeah. So. Okay. So they, you've probably heard, if you could have one superpower, flying or being invisible, which one would you choose?

They did a poll. Scientists did some research. Oh, that's good. Well, I think you just... So, Wichita State. Yeah. Yeah. I think you just go ahead and arrest all the people that want to be invisible because flying is the obvious one. If you want to be invisible, you got some creepy intentions. Well, there's a lot of... I have a lot of follow-up questions before I decide. Yeah. Can I... Do I fly at the same speed that I run or how fast can I fly? Yeah.

Like, is it, if it's, if it's not fast, it's like, if I can fly, if I can only fly at the same speed that I walk, what's the point of that? Well, then you're like, yeah. I mean, just going upstairs, you could have just getting on a roof. You sold me. Yeah. Well, it's like going up one flight. Yeah. One flight is like just a bit of float out of here and just be, excuse me. Uh,

I mean, do you have to flap your arms and do you get real tired? I mean, that's a question. No, it's like Superman. The speed thing would be tough, though, because it would be like everybody probably knows and then you're on an airplane and you're like, well, I only can fly as fast as I can run. And you're like, so it would take me a week to get, you know. Yeah, like your friends are like, we're about to drive to this thing. And you're like, no, I'll fly. And then they beat you there. Yeah. Yeah.

I would choose. Well, you would fly every, all your directions would be as a crow flies. So you would be. As Aaron flies. Just, you'd have to be, yeah, as Aaron flies, you have to be a lot of, a lot of crow knowledge. Yeah. You still got to carry your phone. That's the thing, you'd be with the crows a lot. Yeah. That's what'd be tough. Just a lot of crow traffic.

There's a lot of GPS recalculating. I know it's around here somewhere. I would choose invisibility, and then I wouldn't think about my nose whistle. Everybody would be like, y'all hear something? Brian, is that you? Are you in here again? Visibility would be fun. You could do it. All mischievous stuff, though. Yeah. Hollow Man, you ever seen that movie? Yeah, it got dark quick. Oh, no. Was that with Kevin Bacon? Yeah. Yeah.

So you could be, you could go see anything. Like you could go see, I mean, you could go inside a prison or something. You could go inside a, like, you know, no one would know you're there. You could go. But imagine getting locked in. Think about the act you can do. You could, you would be a Vegas act that would be a magic act that you would be the greatest. I mean, but also flying too. You'd be. Would you have to wear clothes? Are the clothes invisible? Interesting. Depends on what universe you're in.

Which multiverse? Yeah, yeah. What did the poll say? Well, the poll, they polled 7,000 leaders across the globe. Leaders? Oh, they all said invisible then. No. Did you say leaders? L-E-A-D-E-R-S.

So they say I'm a leader? This is like some Forbes poll or something. There we go. You're a leader? I think so. I like to think so. Yeah. You want to be invisible or fly? I didn't see that question coming. 72% chose flying. They want to be seen. They want to get stuff done. More followers chose invisibility. They want to hide. Oh, so they interviewed leaders and followers. Yeah. Company executives and then lower level people. Yeah.

Do you think the right amount of people identify as a follower? I imagine there are more followers than those that would identify as a follower. It's like a pejorative phrase. Are you a leader or a follower? I guess I'm a leader, you know? How hot is your piss? Yeah, that's what I'm saying, essentially, yeah. Pejorative. What was that? What do you mean? What does pejorative mean? It has like a negative connotation to it.

This guy's a leader. He got over, backed away from the table and got his college dream back. If we had our own superpower, what would it be? Based on our skill set. I was thinking about you, Dusty. I think every time you raise your hand, we're having a good time, something happens. A joy would come across. A joy. Peace.

You'd have to have your hand up the whole time. And that's the thing, when you get tired, then chaos would... Oh, yeah. Oh, I kind of like that. That's fun. Literally, it can't be down for a split second. It's got to be... Complete chaos. There's a guy in India that has had his arm raised for almost 50 years. Wow. Wow. To honor his God. Really? Yeah. He's like, I want to do it just to honor my God. And he's held it up for almost 50 years. And how does he keep it up? Well, now he can't lower it. Oh. Yeah.

Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. The hand is not in good shape either. I don't even want to zoom in on it. No. He hasn't been getting manicures. I think his fingers are crooked. Oh, that's the hand. Oh, I didn't even see that one. I thought that was a stick holding the tin up. Yeah. Dang, dude. Yeah. I mean, I admire the dedication to anything, to do anything for, I mean, it says 38 years in this article, but that was 11 years ago. So yeah, he's still doing it.

Yeah, I read one recently where he's doing it for 50 years. Wow. He left his job, wife, and three children in 1970 to do this. Yeah, I think it would be a full-time job. So, Dusty, you got to take it up a notch. Yeah, I mean, you can't hang out with people. Everybody thinks you're asking a question. Yes, you, sir. Go to a conference. The question's at the end. Comes in, yeah.

I imagine it's raining and you kind of get inside the door and then you're like, everybody's pushed in, but they forget that your arms up and you get caught in the door. Like you go up, up, up. And he goes, I'm sorry. So he, he's inspired other people to do it too. They've got a bunch of people. Some of them done seven, 13 or even 25 years.

So he's got a whole generation. Can you imagine how painful that would be? He said it hurt a lot at first, and then it just, now his arm just can't even move. It atrophied. Stuck in that position. At first. How long do you think that period was? Oh, it's got to be. Years. Yeah. But I mean, if you're doing it for 50 years, it's like, yeah, you're like, yeah, the first three were bad. And then you're like, you're just stuck.

I mean, but, you know. Yeah. Do you think he ever, like, man, I wish I had done the other hand? Yeah. Or just switch it up. Yeah, maybe just alternate. Yeah. Wonder if Shiva shows up one day and goes, I didn't need you to do that. Yeah. Yeah. It's, I mean, you know. It's a bit much. It's his thing. It's his thing. Good for him. Yeah. So, yeah, we got yours picked out. Aaron Goutman. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. I would like to know. You got a strong limp. To be able to speak. You can limp. Limp over buildings. With a single limp. Yeah. With a single limp. What were you going to say? Speak other languages? To know every language in the world. That's one that actually is, in theory, it's attainable. But I don't know anyone. But you would be, yeah, like you just know it. You can talk to anybody. Just know it right away. That'd be very cool. And then I would be the guy that's sent to talk to the aliens. Yeah.

Well, like in the matrix, you could just program your brain to do it. But then like, yeah, at this point too, you're also like, well, I got a phone that we could just say it and then you hear it. That's true. And so then there's like right now you would just be like, kind of like you're just expensive and we can have a phone. Like I'm saying as a superhero, you speak every language. I think you're, you've got yourself out of a job. You no longer have a full-time job because we're just like doing phones and stuff.

The phones are still a little cumbersome. You're nervous, though. You're nervous. I am a lot nervous. You know, if you do flight, you know, we have planes. Does that make you nervous if your thing is flight? No, but that's like a fun thing. But your skill is... Language is fun, too, dude. Yeah, but I could like get on top of a building and do stuff. Like you got to go see what everybody's doing. Like every day he's got to be like, how is your day in 40 languages? It's just small talk in every language in the world. Yeah.

And then you have to go talk and then it's like big negotiations and, you know, and you start doing the guys like I speaking. Well, in my in my scenario, I'm the only one in the world that gets to pick a super. If everybody else gets super powers, I wouldn't pick that because then I'd feel left out. Yeah, I'm saying. But even if you if that is your superpower, I just think you're nervous for work right now.

Okay. I still think you're working. Okay. But your heyday... I'm still doing comedy in English. Yeah, your heyday was... Oh, dude, I'd be the biggest comedian in the world, dude, if I could do... That would be the biggest... I could tour everywhere. You could tour everywhere. But still... Starting to rethink it a little bit? Now I'm rethinking it. Yeah. Would the jokes translate? Raincheck Asia tour coming up, you know? Yeah, they would translate because you would get the references. Yeah. Yeah. So not only speak it, but even...

The jokes themselves would still make sense. Yeah, without that, it's useless. Well, I'd read up on what's going on if I spoke the language. I think it should just come. I mean, that should be part of it. If you get that wish, that just comes with it. You don't have to do any extra work. Yeah. Okay. Why put extra work on yourself?

You're like, I speak all the languages. I might as well just lump it in with this. Yeah. And I understand. And I'm relatable to everybody. Yeah. I mean, I would, I think I would go superhuman strength. That's what I would like, but look the same, not look like the incredible Hulk, but just be able to like, people are like, oh man, my car jack broke and I could just come over and lift it up, but be very modest about it.

There's one that does that, right? What's his name? I think his last name's Jones. He has a normal name, like Jones or... Oh, he's pretty big, though. Who are you talking about? He had a TV show, too. Yeah, it was on Netflix. Yeah, I mean, he's pretty jacked. Luke Cage. Luke Cage, yeah. Yeah, but he's not like... Yeah, I guess he is pretty big. I guess Superman's not jacked. He's big, but he's not like the Hulk.

Yeah, well, to build muscle, there has to be resistance, right? But if you have infinite strength, then you wouldn't be ripped. I would think flying. Flying would be, like, I'm just trying to think, because I was thinking speed would be fun, too, to be super fast. Yeah. Super strong. But flying, like, it wouldn't be bad. It would be bad. If you can fly fast, I mean, you fly to your shows. In the last... I'm still doing comedy. Yeah.

So Marvel had the Avengers, and then DC did Justice League, and one of them was the Flash. Yeah. But then in it, Superman races him, and it's basically a tie. So then you're like, well, why do we need the Flash then? He can't do anything. He's just a fast guy. We already got Superman. Nothing. Superman could do pretty much all of them. There's really no need for Justice League when you have Superman. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There isn't.

Yeah. Rant man. He could be rant man. Rant man. Yeah. Yeah. Skim boy. He's always on rants. And the people just leave because the villains are like, let's get out of here. You could change anybody's mind about anything. That's a superpower. Extreme charisma. Mind reading. Persuasion. I don't know if you'd want that. No, mind reading sounds like it's a curse. Yeah. Yeah. Who would want to read people's minds? That's the X-Men.

That's Professor X. That's what he does. Okay. Does he like it? He can manipulate people too, though. He doesn't just read and hear what they think about him. He can speak into their mind. He can make you just freeze. He's not just an otherwise normal guy. It'd be like YouTube comments in real time. Oh my gosh. Way worse too. You could be like Yoda.

Like, get, like, that superpower. Yoda, right? The force. The force. Yeah. Like, just be the force. Because then you're just, like, you know, I'm, like, wanting some more water. It's, like, you just... I'm talking to you, and it just starts pouring right here, and you just...

That would be a great one. Yeah. Or you fly down to the kitchen and make yourself. Yeah. Yeah, because he can fly. Or if you have super even strength, you just turn over the table. Yeah. People are like, oh, let's get this guy some water. Yeah, yeah. Let's get this guy some water. They don't really fly. They kind of bound and leap a little bit. Enough. Enough. You get around enough. I'll tell you real fast, some really bad villains that didn't work out. The Living Eraser. Yeah.

I like that. He's the guy who went around and just erased things causing chaos. Like buildings? I think he could erase whatever. Yeah.

Just whatever needs to be done. Oh, people. I guess he had to rub on you, though. Like physical things or concepts? No, it looks like he erased people. No, not concepts. Yeah. This is more like the 50s. He could erase happiness. Asbestos lady? They really missed an opportunity making this guy like pencil guy. You know? Like his head's an eraser, his feet are ink. Oh, look at him erasing this dude. Yeah. Yeah. I love this guy. Yeah.

Asbestos lady. This is before people knew asbestos was bad. So that was her skill. And then... So she was a hero until they found out, actually, this lady's giving us cancer. Well, she was a villain. And then they found out that asbestos is deadly and can kill you. So they diagnosed her with lung cancer. Wow. What were we doing with asbestos before that? I don't always think about it on ceilings and stuff. It was like a way to seal. It was like insulation. Yeah, like insulation. Yeah.

Flag Smasher. He's a guy who was not loyal to any one nation. He would go around destroying it. He was basically Captain America's nemesis. Captain America was all about America. Flag Smasher. It's kind of like wrestling. There's a lot of similarities. You got Hulk Hogan and then you got the Iron Sheik or you got somebody from Russia that's kind of the opposite just to kind of get...

People worked up. So he just hated all countries? Yeah. I like this guy. That weapon he has is a lot of fun. The gun? No, no. The spike ball there. Okay. Yeah. Two different iterations of him. Yeah. Yeah. That's fun. All right. Yeah, I'm into this. I should have. None of y'all picked funny as a superhero.

Boom. Boom. Roasted. Boom. Roasted. All right. That's it. Coming out. Next week. Next week. So the week of the November 7th, 8th, something like that. Like it's that. Yeah. I think it comes out on the 9th and. The 9th. So, yeah, I'll be somewhere. Maybe in Louisville. I don't know.

A bunch of places. Pennsylvania, all my stuff's up there. Where are you guys at? I'm in my hometown of Lebanon this Friday at Cumberland University. Wow. Same place Bozo plays? Yeah, maybe. Doing a show at Cumberland University with Heather Lange. She's very funny. And it's for New Leash on Life, an animal rescue place. That's cool. Yeah. Next week, Wednesday, I'm in Memphis, Tennessee. Say, yeah. I'm from Hollywood.

Lafayette's Music Room. I'm sure it's pronounced Lafayette, but from Alabama you say Lafayette. Lafayette. Or Lafayette. Lafayette, yeah. Lafayette Music Room. And then that weekend, St. Paul, Minnesota. Oh, I've done that room before, Memphis. It's a lot of fun. Oh, yeah, the music room? It's a lot of fun, yeah. I'll be there. November 16th. I'll be there, too. That same day? I don't think so. November what? 16th.

Like a Thursday or something? Yeah. I think it's a Wednesday. You find out you got bumped. I'll be in Washington, D.C. at the D.C. Improv this weekend. Uh,

But I also wanted to say that me and Aaron and Brian have a show in Lexington on January 3rd. February 3rd. February 3rd, yes. And then I'll be in Atlanta. That just announced today, but by the time this comes out, that will have been further down the road. But February 4th. So the 3rd in Lexington, and then the 4th I'll be in Atlanta. Nice. So those are on sale now. Yeah, go see them. All three of y'all. Look at y'all. Yeah. And then...

Yeah, so I'll be in Memphis the 12th or 13th. You're Memphis the weekend before. Yeah, the weekend before. Yeah. Yeah, that Bryce Jordan Center and State College PA, people come out to that.

It's a big place. Yeah. But since I announced a couple of them, this weekend, DC Improv. Nice. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Very fun. That's a great club. Good? I've never been, but they say it's- Oh, that place is awesome. They say it's great. No, no, no. The club's great. Yeah. The club is one of my favorite clubs. Yeah. It's the ceilings. The stage is higher and the ceiling's lower and you just murder. You hear the laugh so great. It's-

It's one of the best clubs in the country. Yeah. All right. So if it doesn't go that way for me, I'll just quit right after. Yeah, you should. Yeah. Yeah. That and Arlington Draft House is the other. It's another club there. They have two. DC's got two great, great clubs and like a bunch of other rooms. DC's got a good comedy scene. Yeah, for sure. All right, everybody. We love you. See you next week. Bye.

Oh, yeah. Happy birthday, Brian Bates. Oh! Happy birthday! Yeah, we had Eleanor. Yeah, we had Eleanor on for my birthday. Thank you, guys. So we had Eleanor. Happy birthday. Thanks, guys. Happy birthday. Bam. Okay, I can't do it. That's Aaron's thing. Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network.

Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.