#124 Scandals & Animals
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Visit athleticgreens.com slash nate for a free one-year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. That's athleticgreens.com slash nate. All right. Welcome, everybody. I think my voice is normal, so you got worried about it. Yeah, it sounded like it was going to be bad, but it's not good. We're all going to show you real fast. John, our buddy John Crist.

He's been on the podcast. Obviously, a lot of people know him. He's got a new book out, Delete That, and other failed attempts to look good online. John Crist. It's a great book. It's crazy just to write a book. He did do this. He sent it, and it was funny. Like a picture that said, and like, you'd be like, keep this and delete that. And then he would show these pictures.

Oh my goodness. I wish I had known. John sent me one of those too. And I liked both of the pictures that he told me to delete. He told me to delete it. He said delete both. Yeah, he was. Yeah, he just. Don't delete your account. It's welcome. I feel like we've been on the road. It's been a while. It's been a while. I think. A couple weeks. Yeah, a couple weeks. Yeah.

Yeah, or who was gone? You were gone. I was gone, yeah. And then with Kevin Nealon, that was a thrill. Took my place. Yeah, felt good. We've done one since then. Yeah, yeah. That's true. I asked Kevin if he would move here, but he said no. It's just the vibe was there. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. He's a great dude. I worked with him one time. Loved Kevin Nealon. Big fan. It was, yeah, it's been, I don't even know where I've been. I've been everywhere. Where were you this weekend?

Memphis? Yeah, I went to Graceland. How was that? It's awesome.

Great. It was, you know, I've always wanted to go and I've never been. And if I think if people have been a long time ago, it's very different from what they were telling me. Like you used to go see his house and stuff like that, but they have his cars now. They have a whole other, I mean, his airplanes are there. That might've been there for a while. The airplanes are very cool. And then just the, the cars and they have a lot of his cars there.

They had the car of the picture, the last picture that was taken when he's pulling into the car. It's called a Stutz or Stutz. I've never heard of it. S-T-U-T-Z. And that was the car he was in. And supposedly it was a car that was for Frank Sinatra. And then he...

went and charmed the guy and said, well, just give it to me. And the guy gave it to Elvis. Wow. Uh, but it was, uh, Elvis was like, I don't know, man, it was awesome. Like just hearing about him, uh,

You know, he was like a good guy. I like that he had that Memphis mafia. It's a mix of like... Some guys were actors, some guys were friends. He took care of his family. He did the stuff that you want someone to do. He loved Memphis, he loved home, all that kind of stuff. Yeah.

Yeah, Elvis was great. Yeah. I mean, I impersonated Elvis one time for a roller derby team. I did Elvis bingo. You were on a roller derby team? No, they hired me to be Elvis for their Elvis bingo. Oh. So I did a- That's a few weeks ago? Yeah. So I researched. Yeah, I was like fat Elvis. You know what I mean? I was heavy at the time. Can you roller skate good? There's a video out there. No, I can't roller skate at all. I just-

Went out there with shoes? Yeah. They were just at a bar doing a bingo night, and it was for them. But I did a deep dive into Elvis. It might be hard to find, and I hope it is. And I did a deep dive into Elvis and watched a lot of his videos. And-

He's great. Such a nice guy. Such a sad ending for Elvis. Yeah, 42 years old. And we, like, he had a racquetball court. And so in that racquetball, he had a piano and he was playing a song. And they were like, that's where... He was up to, like, four in the morning or, you know, I think someone...

Maybe somebody maybe played racquetball for him in the morning. They were saying that the people that work at Graceland, by the way, are some of the nicest people I've ever met in my life. It's and that's what I loved. I loved that even to this day, I feel like because he's he seemed very nice with his fans and he it was it was about them. And it was, you know, he's a very he's a very generous person. And I loved that he was.

I think the relationship he had with his fans was a true, like he, you know, looked at himself as probably them. And that carries on even though it's been so, I mean, 50 years or whatever it is, 70. I mean, he died in 77, so probably 45 years, I guess. Yeah. He died. Did they talk about that at all? I asked her, I said, do people still bring it up? And she goes, oh yeah, they still do. But I remember watching Unsolved Mysteries about him not being, like on CBS. I do remember that.

Where it was, you know, he died in 77 and then it was you could watch like regular TV and it'd be like on 60 minutes, you know, that kind of feels like that kind of thing of them really being like, is he alive?

There's some TikTok videos out there right now of him being like a preacher of a church. Got a full white beard. But they have some audio of this preacher singing, and it is like, I mean, it is like, whoa, this dude can sing. Yeah. I mean, it's so much like Elvis. It's unreal. Do you think if somebody were to fake their own death, they would immediately pursue a

a career in the public eye, like a preacher? Well, I don't think he's like a mega church preacher, but I think he's... It's been 50 years. But he's still getting on stage and performing. He would be 90. Yeah, I think he's got a real... He had a real passion. I figured he'd be about 100. Yeah, he's like, I gotta get out of this. Yeah, I mean, it would... You could see it. I would hope if someone did do that, they would at least be like, hey, tell someone, like, if I...

When I eventually do die, for real, let everybody know. Just to be like, oh, wow, so we have an answer to it. Like Andy Kaufman? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't think so. I think he was in bad... I was talking to her about it, and she knew everything. It was so awesome to hear all this stuff. But she said that he had...

He had a toothache, and that was bothering him a lot. And so he thought his toothache was hurting him, which I guess a toothache, some of the – if you're going into cardiac arrest, your pain feels like it's a toothache. So I think he just thought it was this toothache, and then he was up until –

You know, he went to bed probably 9 a.m. or something, like, the next morning. And then I think just never woke up. Or he died in... He died, like, his bathroom, because I asked, you know, you asked if he died on a toilet and all this stuff. But he was...

I think he was in his bathroom. His bathroom was like a suite. Like it's, you know, it's like he'd get his hair cut in there. It's a, you know, it's not a motel six. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's not. Yeah. You open the door and you're like, oh, there it is. Right. We think of someone dying in the bathroom. We think of our own bathroom. Yeah. Right. Oh, this would be a sad place to die. Yeah.

Yeah, but I don't know if there's any... He would get his hair cut on the toilet? No. His bathroom is like a suite. That's living in luxury, dude. Come on in. We'll knock out two birds with one stone. That's a relationship you've got to probably pay high money for if you want. You and Eric are going to take it to the next level. You've got to be A, the most confident person. You have to have two of the most confident people on earth that have to somehow meet

And then be good at these two things. Or just a difficult digestive system where you're like, this is going to be a while. Maybe try to get a haircut in. You also got to have a toilet in the middle of the room so that the barber can walk around in. Like a circular bowl. No tank, really. It's a tankless one. Oh, right. Just a little bowl right there in the middle of the floor. Yeah.

There's a theory out there. It was on a movie that – I think it's Coffee and Cigarettes, a movie. And they said that Elvis, he got tired of the fame. He got tired of all that. He had a twin brother. So Elvis retired at the peak of his fame, and then his brother took over. And it was his brother that couldn't handle the fame. So that's why his brother – his brother is the one that got really overweight and got really on drugs. And that's how it all took the –

He had a twin brother, but his brother died. Right, but that's, you know. That's what they say. Right. They're saying that he didn't. They said, yeah, they had, they said his brother, oh, yeah. There's before and after Elvis right there. Yeah. That's what I would do. Yeah, if you gained a ton of weight, be like, no, that was my brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, go flick through these pictures. Yeah, he's buried there, and his whole family is there. I think this is one of the front steps. What is this room? That was the jungle room.

And so, yeah, that's the front. It was very cool. Okay. For some reason, I pictured this was Elvis' childhood home. No, they said his childhood home was maybe the size of this room we're in, where it could be 400 square feet. It was a shotgun home in Tupelo, Mississippi. Yeah. And the bathroom was outside. So you had just the front room and then the back room. And that's where...

So he was born in that. His bedroom that he had in that house was bigger than the home he grew up in. Wow. And that house is like, when you see that house, what you think, you might think, oh, it's one of those that feels smaller than you imagine. But it was like back then, I mean, it was gigantic. And he had a basement and he had...

He, I mean, he had a record, like he loved gadgets. I liked he had a, so he had a bunch of cars and all, if the way you knew he was home was if all the cars were parked in front of the driveway, in the driveway in front of the house, if all the cars were out there, he was home. And if they weren't, he wasn't home. And so all the cars were parked, the keys would be in it. And when they wanted to go somewhere, he would go get in the car he wanted to. And then his, his boys would just get in whatever car, other car and they would drive.

And like, I love all that. That's like, it's like, you know,

In the Steve Martin book, he talks about Elvis coming backstage and talking to him and then Elvis being like, you want to see my gun? And showed him some guns. Did you see the TV that he shot out? Yeah. Yeah. There was an actor, something, when he left for Germany, I think someone said, I want to take care of your girl for you when she's gone. And then that guy was on TV and he shot the TV when he saw him. There's a lot of weird stuff too that's like,

I mean, you got to think he's 21 when all this is, you know, so he's so young. Yeah. And he's just, I mean, he had a life, like, just doing so much. But he was just, it's crazy to think how young he is. Like, and he did, he won three Grammys because the Grammys weren't invented. And he won three, like, at the very end. Oh, he only won three. He only won three is what I meant. Yeah. You'd think he'd be like, oh, they win them all. And you're like, no, they weren't invented. It wasn't a thing. Yeah. He won three in gospel.

But yeah, I enjoyed the whole thing. It was... Graceland's very cool. Have you seen the new Elvis movie? I have not. But me and Laura have been trying to watch it, and I was going to watch it. I'm home for a couple days. So I was like, oh, you know what? I'll watch it now. Because I want to know. I got a book in there. I was kind of curious to read it. I just... I think he had...

I don't know. I think it's a guy that I think's heart was in a good spot. I know he got carried away and he got stuffed, but I think he wanted to really do this stuff. The picture on the wall, he's got blonde hair. That was his natural hair, and he got...

And I think he dyed it black. Black Velvet. That's what that song's about. Black Velvet. Yeah. It's about dying his own hair. Yeah, it's about... Well, it's by someone else. That song. Black Velvet and that little boy's smile. Something like that. Black Velvet in that slow southern style. That's about Elvis. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

But they say it was very sad. A guy told me, he talked to me about Elvis one time, talking about in the end days, how they really just really took advantage of him. And like he would basically be in bed in Vegas. They would go and they would take him, you know, things to lift him up. And then they would wheel him out on stage in a wheelchair. And then he would do his songs. And then they would give him things to put him back down. And then they would wheel him back to his room. And then he would, that was basically his life at the end. Yeah. Very sad. And he's a year younger than me.

So it's like you would think, like, if you're like, well, he's- He died that young? He's 42. Whoa. Very sad. And then so- I picture him an older man. I mean, when you hear that story like that, like, you're like, you think it's a guy in his 70s, 80s that they're willing out there, but it was, yeah, it wasn't. I mean, he didn't drink much either, they said. Like, he loved Dr. Pepper. I'm way on board with Dr. Pepper. He had a soda machine. That's a dream of mine to get- In his house? Yeah. Yeah.

That's a big dream. If I could get a soda machine, I would love one. Would you rather have a soda machine or a water fountain that makes Diet Pepsi? A water fountain. Like a water fountain. Oh. Like you just walk over to the side. I'd rather a soda machine. Like in the movie Idiocracy. You probably drink better. Kool-Aid comes out. If you had that. Have you seen that movie? No, no. Okay. I think you would drink less soda if you had a water fountain. Yeah.

Every time you wanted a taste, you'd just walk over. Yeah, yeah, but I mean, you wouldn't finish a cup. I think it'd be probably healthier. That's what Aaron was thinking about. Yeah, that's why I like that. Now, I want those ones that you can pick all the stuff. I mean, the other ones are great, but then you get the right, you know, get like Sonic Ice and then McDonald's Diet Coke, somehow get in that game.

Build them all in your house. Yeah, I would love to have a soda machine. I love fountain soda. I think we talked about a previous episode. Elvis did a live show from, I think, Hawaii. And it was broadcast via satellite all over the world. It is one of the most watched TV shows.

tv things ever i think maybe a billion people watched it because no one had ever done anything like that i mean he sold so many records even now like it's i mean it's uh it's like he's a the amount of stuff he sells now it's like he's a megastar now yeah he did like rca when he was at rca records there's i mean he was rca records he was he was their whole thing

He had TVs everywhere. Like this was, you know, TVs were coming around and they would say he had TVs in every room he'd watched. He always had the TV on.

he down in his basement is like he had like two man caves kind of down one was a pool room and one is this other room a lot all this stuff is like kind of untouched in this house they actually they said uh lisa marie they have christmas i think christmas dinner in that house in the dining room so you go look at the dining room and then in christmas they the family comes there they stay up like someone will stay upstairs you can't go upstairs because it's like

You know, Elvis's room is not touched, but the other rooms are kind of modernized and then they go and they are in, you know, but they stay in the house. Like, I love that it's that family thing.

it really is a family business. It's, uh, they all still live there. It's like, you know, it's not like it's just run by whoever it's right. Not donated to the city of Memphis. Yeah. Yeah. They had to go get a lot of his stuff back. They said like car, cause he would just give people cars and just all this stuff. So everybody had something of, you know, this or that. Imagine Elvis gave you a car though. And then he dies and people are like, listen, we know Elvis gave you this, but he had a lot going on there. We got to get this back. Yeah. He,

You'd have to sell. I mean, yeah. They would do a lot of that. You'd have to prove. They'd go back and get it. You'd have to prove that they could figure out that it is his. And they're like, all right. There's a lot of that. They had to go get a lot of stuff. They have so much stuff about this guy. I did a show there last month with Angela Johnson. Oh, yeah. At Graceland. And when we were leaving, there was all these production crews setting up. And we were like, what is this? And The Young Rock was filming there. Oh.

Just The Rock's everywhere. And they said he's there all the time. He's very nice. But they film it there because Memphis is where he got his start in wrestling. So they film it at the studio there at Graceland. Oh, wow. Yeah, The Rock has an Elvis outfit in there that he wore somewhere. But he... Yeah, they said he comes there. It's like when you hear that, you're like, all right. He really is everywhere. Yeah, it's like that was at the end. Yeah, it was like, oh, that's good. You're like, this guy...

Just put stuff... Can't get away from him. Can you just do your own... Just be... Have your own building. Actually, the first late night I did, The Rock was there on the show that night. Really? Did you meet him? No, I didn't meet him. I was standing close to him. Oh, okay.

I was too nervous about my own stuff to be also trying to meet a guy that I really liked. Yeah. I still like him, but at that time he was still fresh out of wrestling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like him. If you met him, I bet you'd be like, this is, I mean, really, you'd be like, this guy's the best. I have nothing against him. It's just, it is. He's everywhere. It's everywhere. And you're like, oh, and then you go in there like, that's his outfit. You're like, of course it is. It's like you're, and you're like, why would he not put it in there?

We got a lot of suggestions from people who descend to talk to the aliens. Yeah. Because, you know, we talked about that, about the rock. Dolly Parton was a popular choice. Oh, yeah. No? No, I can't say it. Maybe 30 years ago. Yeah. We're going to send out one of our oldest citizens ever. Well, I suggested Jimmy Carter. Yeah. But, I mean, it's not a long trip. Just go up there and say hey and come on down to Dollywood.

I saw someone typed in Mike Rowe. Yeah. I thought that was- Mike Rowe's a good answer. Mike Rowe is a very good- A dirty- Blue-collar guy. Yeah. Yeah. I think a very well-spoken guy, a guy that could kind of lay the land of going here. He seems smart, seems like a guy that's like, well, let me tell you-

He can vamp. He's good off the cuff. Yeah. Used to be. Wasn't it QVC or one of those? Isn't that how he got his start? I don't know. I thought he was in plays or something. But yeah, I like that. I was like, yeah, that makes... Because it doesn't need to be your most famous... Because it's like someone that's got to be able to relate to...

The entire population. Yeah. So it's like, if it's Dolly Parton, I get it. But you're like, that's, she's, it's too probably. She's been rich for too long. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, I think she, you know. Rich and famous too long. She could be like Elvis in the fact that like, she knows and knows what stuff means to people that are not rich and famous and all this. But Mike Rowe's like a perfect mix of everything.

He's still very much tied in and loves all that stuff and is the one... I like that. I'll take him. Yeah. Because we're going to be telling the aliens what life's like in the US at least. Yeah. Okay. He seems like a guy who knows most about the history and... Because other people were saying Neil deGrasse Tyson or... No.

That dude doesn't, yeah. He'll be trying to tell them about space and they're like, listen, we're not from space. We're from a different dimension. We're demons. Your space is boring. He's like, we know about space. Because I think they want to know what we're like. I don't think they're going to be like, well, the atmosphere. I blow through your atmosphere every day. I don't care about that.

Yeah. So, but yeah, I was there, Louisville, Memphis. I'm going to be missing somewhere else. I'm in Memphis tonight, by the way, if you're listening to this. All right. Tonight. Lafayette's Music Room. Oh, I've been there. It's great. I had a lot of fun there. Come on out, Memphis, while we're talking about it.

I don't know. Are we, if we're talking about places we've been, I'd like to say I went to Columbus, Ohio to the Funny Bone. Let's do it later. Okay. The Columbus Funny Bone sold out a bunch of shows. Really great. Last week I was in Washington, D.C. Sold out some shows at the D.C. Improv. Really great.

And I say sellout shows because that's new to me, fairly new to me. So it's great, and I'm very happy. And the shows were awesome. I like DC. I like Columbus. They're great. Today, I went to a restaurant in Murfreesboro called...

Oh, no, I had it. It's called Maple Street Biscuit House. Yeah. And this guy named Brett came out. He's the assistant manager. Gave me some free cinnamon biscuits. So he's a fan of the podcast. And so I thought I'd give Brett a shout out. And the cinnamon biscuits were delicious. What time did you get up this morning? 6 a.m.

Really? I went to the cabin. I stayed at the cabin in McMinnville last night. And, you know, we like to, our baby loves her bed at home so much. Sometimes we like to take her out, make her spend the night somewhere else, just see how much she can cry. And so she cried a lot. And then at 6 a.m. she decided she's ready to get going. Yeah. So I've been up. Yeah. So you stopped in Murfreesboro. I've had a full day. Yeah. Yeah. I've had some cinnamon biscuits.

Egg and cheese biscuit. I mean, I'm going at it. Yeah. And you were in D.C. too. Last weekend. Or this past, yeah. Sunday. Yeah, D.C. Improv. Yeah, such a great club. So great. Yeah. So much fun. Yeah. I mean, the last two weekends have been really great. I mean. When you go play, like in the South, people know you're just a good old country boy, even if you were walking around downtown Nashville. But when you're like out West, California, D.C., whatever, do people mistake you for homeless? No.

Well, I mean, I don't know. I mean, you know, let me know. It, I mean, it happened. It happened in Austin, Texas. I mean, I've made a joke about that. A girl tried to give me some food on the street. A lady in Dallas one time told me that she thought I had, I was talking on my Bluetooth, but my hair covers the Bluetooth. So she thought I was just talking to myself. Yeah. Uh,

But in Greensboro, North Carolina, not long ago, I was sitting in the lobby of my hotel and a lady that works there goes, she goes, can I help you? And I go, no, I'm okay. She goes, do you have a room here? I was like, yeah. I had to get mad at that lady, actually. I was like, that's not the way that you ask that question. I'm like, I get it, but that's not how you address it. Right.

She apologized. Oh, yeah? Yeah. But yeah, I do think people think I'm homeless. Actually, the hotel I was at in the D.C. Improv was so nice. Everybody was so businesslike, and I'm in there in a denim shirt and a trucker hat. I felt like I needed to show my key card every time I walked in just to be like, no, no, no, I am a customer here. I would think you're in a band. They would just assume like- Yeah, no one harassed me in D.C. Yeah, yeah.

Well, I ask that because I know, I'm saying they think you're homeless, but you were laying down on the sidewalk or something and the lady said you can't lay here? Well, in Phoenix, yeah. Well, I just went out in front of the Phoenix Sun Stadium. The pool at my hotel was closed. So I went out and I saw this nice cement slab and I thought, well, this is great. I'll just lay here and get a little sun, just kind of soak it up. And this lady security guard comes out of the

out of the basketball arena. And she goes, Hey, you can't lay down here. She goes, well, she goes, a private property. We make the rules. And I'm like, I'm not even arguing with you. Yeah, I'm leaving. But she didn't tell me to leave. She just, you can't lay down.

You were laying down on a regular sidewalk? Not the sidewalk, but it was a slab, slightly elevated. You could sit on it. A curve. But I laid down. I was like, this feels great out here. It was empty. I wasn't bothering people. Yeah. It's kind of 50-50. You kind of lead the way to them-

Yeah, if you're doing stuff like that, for sure. I had a Starbucks cup, but it was empty, so it could have very well been something I had been collecting change in. You ever drink your coffee and then you notice a quarter in the bottom of it? Well, not yet, but I hope. I mean, that's always what you hope for. You wake up, you got $1.50. Yeah, I mean, that'd be nice. I think if she would have let you really sleep out there, I bet you would have got. Yeah, that would have been nice. Yeah, imagine I fall asleep, wake up with money in the cup. Yeah.

I'd be into it. I mean, I'm not against it. Yeah. I mean, a girl did offer me food and I was sitting on a park bench and I look up and there's a girl, she goes, she goes, excuse me. And she had a brown paper sack in her hand. And she said, do you want a sandwich? Yeah. In the joke, I take it. But in real life, I did not take it. Yeah. I think about it. I should have took it because it'd probably be less embarrassing for her if I just took it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

imagine she's like oh my sandwiches are not even good enough for the homeless you should have taken and eaten it yeah yeah they say you call you don't they don't use homeless anymore they use house uh uh unhoused right but i grew up in a trailer right i didn't have a house yeah i was kind of unhoused but i had a home yeah right you know what i mean so i think unhoused sounds worse i think so too

They try to fix stuff. That's like the Washington football... When they had the Washington football team. It was like, that was the best name. What was it? Washington... Yeah, it was the Washington football team. Yeah. That was so great. Commanders now. No, no. It wasn't the Washington... It was the Redskins before that. No, yeah. I know. But when they did the name in between... Yeah, the Washington football team. Yeah. And it was like, that was like the best. Their uniforms, the names, the best. You're like, this is... I was like...

Why are we not all just called that? Like you started thinking like it is ridiculous. We're called, you know, it's like Titans, big win Vanderbilt, gigantic win. Huge. Yeah. Huge. Big win. Big time. Very exciting. Excited for Clark Lee. But there, yeah, it's like you were like the team, the name is so good that you're like, yeah, we should all be like Cleveland baseball team, the Cleveland football team. Like you should just be yours. That's what you say. Yeah.

Well, that's what we'll get one day, I think. If we're no longer allowed to use any names, we'll be like, everything in the store will be like maple syrup. And it'll be like, you know, tea. And, you know, nothing will have names.

It'll just be like butter. You're like, the Dolphins are going to win the Super Bowl. And you're like, the older you get, you're like, all right. It feels, you know, the Chargers. You're like, just be. Just say the city. Just say the city. The Nashville Football Club. Yeah. It's like soccer. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You just say that. Yeah, that's what it is. Unless you have a cool name like the Alabama Crimson Tide. Then that, you're like, let's keep that. Well, college is different. Yeah.

Or the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. Yeah, but that's college. I think pros is like you're playing for the city you're in or the state. Yeah, not the university. Yeah, it could be the New Jersey football team. The New Jersey and New York are playing tonight. It would be like, ooh, instead of Jets-Giants. All right. Well, that could get confusing. Jets-Giants, it'd be New York football team playing the New York football team. The other New York football team. Well, they're playing the same thing, but you would just say –

Yeah, but you'd be like, yeah, one needs to be New Jersey. New York Civil War. We don't have to be Jersey. They both play in Jersey. They both play there.

Well, speaking of getting profiled by people, I was in Fort Wayne, Indiana and Dayton last weekend. Sold out every show. All right. No, no, no. They had to cut some shows. But the one show, there was one server. That's how small it was. But crowds were fun. Anyway, so I'm leaving Fort Wayne, and I'm like maybe a minute into the drive. The car just sounds horrible. I'm like, oh, God.

So I pull over, and I have one tire that is cartoonishly flat. Oh, no. I mean, it's not light on air. It's straight up. It looks like it's been sliced. You're riding a ram. Yeah, yeah. It was awful. So we're sitting there figuring out how to handle this. Turns out I had pulled over to stop in front of an armed security business. So I'm outside looking at it, and this guy comes up, gun in his holster. He goes, can I help you, gentlemen?

I was like, I mean, no, you can help me change this tire. Yeah, you know how to change it? You got a jack? He goes, just let me. And I explained the situation to him. He goes, just so you know, the cop, I called the cops. So this guy thought we were, like, suspicious out there in his front yard. The cops came, had to talk to them. This was, like, a huge thing. It was just, like, the worst day ever. Did you keep changing the tire while all this was going on? What do you mean? When the cops were there? No, like, you know, he's like, I called the cops. You're like, okay, and you just keep doing the tire. Like, I feel like it just keeps your mind off, uh,

So at least at the end of all of it, you're like, tires changed. We'll move on. It took way longer than I would have liked. I mean, I had to figure out where the spare tire was. That took a long time. I don't know anything about cars. But then I went. I was like, well, this day is so...

the way it's starting. I was like, I went and bought $40 worth of Powerball tickets while I was there thinking my luck would change. It didn't. I didn't win. Yeah. I would have led with that if I had. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Also a lottery winner. You think you'd be here? You'd be a billionaire. I would still show up. Yeah. You know, one person won that. It was like $2 billion. Yeah. One person. Well, that person and the government. Yeah. Well, they took a big chunk of it. Yeah. The government always wins. What's a billion? Like you probably get $500 million.

Well, if it's $2 billion. If it's $2 billion, I think it was like a $900 million after. That was the lump sum. And then you pay taxes on that. And then you pay taxes on the $900 million. That was the lump sum of two. Yeah, I got to look that up. Big day for the government. Hopefully the deficit's down now. The government could just take that and apply that right to the overall thing. Start knocking it down. Yeah, I mean, man, if you won $900 million. I didn't realize the taxes hadn't been taken out. I think if you win that much, you almost can't.

Make it all go away. The lump sum of a two point, it was $2 billion. The lump sum was 997 million. And you want to go, let's just make it a billion so I can say I'm a billionaire. Exactly. Well, you hope you have 3000. And some of you, you don't have with 997 million. You're like, I mean, I'm happy with, they just said me, give me a billion.

Give me a billion. Just let me be a billionaire. Everybody. So then you pay. So they give you that nine ninety seven and then you pay taxes on taxes. You're walking like four or five hundred million dollars. Yeah. Yeah. And then. Yeah. I wonder if someone could like I mean, I guess you went I mean, if you bought a plane. So you go buy some big plane that might cost 30 million dollars, you know.

I'm trying to think, like, would you, you know, because when people win $10 million, I see how they, especially now, you're like, yeah, they could go. They could blow through that quickly. Yeah, you buy a big house, and you're like, that's $10 million now. But if you have $400 million, you've got to be like, I don't, you know. That's where you want to go, like somewhere you go, I hope you take $100 million.

Or take $50 million. Or take $100 million, buy your plane. Okay. And then put the rest, $300 million, like put it wherever you're supposed to put it. Like, or do whatever you're supposed to do. Under the mattress. Yeah. That's where I would go with it. Straight away. Get in cash. Yeah. But just do what you're supposed to do with it. And like... And it's a tall mattress. And...

And then just go be like $100 million. You won $100 million. Go do whatever you want. I don't care if you waste it. Yeah, you got to have some fun with that amount. $100 million. Would you show up to the podcast? I would show up. I don't think I would tell you guys. I mean, you would say it. How do you not say you won $900 million? If it came up organically, I would go, hey, by the way, I won. There's no way. There's a good chance no one would ever see me again.

If you won $2,000. Yeah, I mean, you could just buy a little island, buy a bunch of land right next to Bill Gates out in Nebraska somewhere and go into business. Buy an island in Nebraska. But you wouldn't want to do comedy? Well, I don't know. I mean, I think that if you win that, everyone knows you win it. Yeah. Right? Let's say we don't, but let's say we lived in a state where you could claim the winnings anonymously.

Okay. Yeah, I think I'd still want to maintain a normal life. Yeah. But if everyone knows you win, you got to disappear. Yeah. It'd be tough if they know you just won $2 billion. Be like, hey, buy a $30 ticket to see me at the funny vote. Yeah, you give your family. You go, I'm going to give all my family, you know, a few million, your immediate family, I'll give you...

All of you, like $10 million. You kind of take care of everybody. It's tough to do jokes. I think you should do that. You go take care of everybody up top. I mean, your immediate family is not what you're talking about. It's the outskirts. Yeah. But it's like you go take care of, like, you know, my dream is always you go take care of your family. You do this kind of thing. Yeah. And then you got everybody kind of squared away. And you're like, all right, you're all good. Everybody's good. Like, you know, I don't have to worry. You don't have to worry about that. And then you just go do your...

Do you go take care of the gas station attendant that sold you the ticket? Yeah. Nah. You don't think so? Nah. I had the lady that sold me that. She said, if you win, give me $10 million. Right, but that's what I'm saying. I don't know how I'll give you that much. I'll give you $100,000 or something. Yeah. It's a polite thing to do. It's like tipping a server. Yeah, but it's like they're never going to be happy with that $100,000 because it is like, well, just give me...

Well, that's the thing. You start giving money away, everybody's like, well, you got $900 million. You're only going to give me a million? This is why you don't tell anybody. This is why I wouldn't tell you guys. Well, I don't want your money. I know. But it would change our relationship. You tell me you wouldn't look at me differently if you knew I was a billionaire? I thought you already were.

It'd be tough to do any kind of joke about anything being hard. That would be the hard part is like, you're, you're what you talk about. Couldn't you're the least relatable person. You'd have to be like John Hodgman and be a character almost. Yeah. Who's John Hodgman? His name. I don't know. It would be. Yeah. I don't know if I would look at you like, I'm curious to see if we look at you different. Like I think you would. I think, I think it changes every relationship in your life overnight. Yeah.

I think so too. The dynamic of every relationship is totally different. And not only that, people resent you for that wealth because you didn't earn it. Yeah. You were just handed it. So people don't even like respect how well you are. I don't think I would –

I don't think I would though. Like, as I, I don't know. I don't think I've ever resented someone for something. Like I've, I've always took it as, I've always never cared what someone else has. Cause you're like, well then I need to do, I got to get what I, you know, it's like, it's on me. So it's like, you'd be like, man, that's crazy. That's awesome, dude. Like, it's like, you know, but I wouldn't, I don't think I would, you know, it'd be like, yeah, dude, go, that's crazy. Go live your life. Like I,

I have my life. Like, I'm happy with my life. Like, you know, it's people that are not happy with their life that resent. It'd be tough to go to lunch with people. I mean, like, you're like, you want to meet for lunch? And like, every time they're like, ah, forgot my wallet. But I think you got to just pay. Yeah. So it's like, also, it's how you handle it. I would imagine you got to go, you're always paying. You just pay for it. I got it. No, no, no, no. Obviously, I got it. Like, and you just pay for it always. Yeah. And you do that stuff. And if you can't not do that, then...

Then it gets like, you know, I just do it and you take control of it. And then it is, you're like everybody, but yeah, he's very generous. You're like, no, he didn't give me a million dollars, but why do I deserve it? But we go out to eat. He pays for all this stuff. He did a lot of stuff for a lot of people. He did, you know, I think I would forget my wallet as the lottery winner. I'd go to lunch with people and they go, oh man, I forgot my wallet. You mind getting this one? I'll get you next time. Yeah. On purpose? Yeah. Oh, just to mess with them? You wouldn't like it.

Yeah, no, I would like, you know, that, that, you know, balances everything back out. Right. It's like, you know, like if, cause if you're a millionaire and you're buying people lunch, you know, especially a lottery winner millionaire, it may not mean anything, but now if they're able to buy, like if they're able to buy you lunch, maybe that now means something to them. Uh, yeah. I mean, I could see, yeah, it does do that. Yeah. But.

But it's like you just, I don't know. Until they get home and tell their wife. She's like, he made you pay? He's a billionaire. Yeah. Right, but if someone buys you lunch and you know they're a $900 million lottery winner, does it really have the impact? Are you really thankful that they bought it? Yeah. You should be. You should be, yes. And so it's like, that's what I mean. You got to go to, well, it's on you. So if that person can't handle it,

then it's kind of on them. I mean, they did it, you know, Tiger Woods, like there's stories of him and whether these are true or not, I don't know. But when they did, when he would go to like, it was in like the books, when he'd do seal training and then he'd go out and eat with the seals afterwards, like they're doing a thing, like letting him come along and do this and they'd go eat lunch afterwards and he wouldn't pay for it.

And so they would always be kind of rubbed wrong by that. But that I understand. And I don't think they're doing it because of a he's rich thing. It's like, yo, we're letting you come into our... Like, it just seems like it'd be the thing to do. They don't want money from them. They're not trying to get something from them. But they're like...

You can see that. Throw us a little lunch. Yeah. And it would be like if you had everybody go out to eat and then you, like, well, I'm going to pay for my family's, but everybody else just, and you had a big party. You know, they'd be like, well, that's kind of, you know, you won money and then you made it, you know. We weren't coming here. Yeah. We're coming here because of you. Right. I would think you would have everything covered. Right. If you just take care of everything, like pay everything, it's when people are asking for the crazy amounts of money, it could be one thing, but-

When you go out, you're like, yeah, I'm just paying for it. I got it, dude. Don't worry about it. But then some people would be like, no, let me buy it. I want to... Because they want to just buy you a bunch. If you're a nice person and you win it, I don't think it changes. Okay. That's good. I like that. Yeah. So say it. You won. Yeah. Admit it. Admit it. I think you would be okay. I think...

To your point, your friends, maybe me would be one of them. Oh, yeah. You wouldn't be able to handle it. It would be hard. I love my job now, so I don't think I would be that resentful. But if you're in a job you didn't enjoy with a coworker that also hated their job, all of a sudden they get to quit their job. Yeah, you'd be resentful of that person. Well, we know a comedian. Yeah, but that's not good. I agree. I know, but that's not –

you have to realize that that's not on that person. I do. And then, so it's like, and to be resentful, but you got it, but then you, you either, I mean, I, I, I get it, but it's like, that's not, you know, that's mean. That's actually very mean. I agree. It'll be hard to handle. Yeah. From all, you know, especially like if you were like a pesticide salesman, let's say, and then your, your competitor suddenly wins the lottery. Yeah.

That's hard to handle. Yeah. I understand that, but does it give you the right to be mean to the person and to expect, you know?

You're still living the same exact life, whether he wins or doesn't. Well, we know a comedian. I don't want to say who, but we know a guy whose wife won the lottery decades ago. Yeah. And they won a lot of money, and he's still just been a touring comedian. He's very funny. Yeah. But I have to imagine that, like, if a comic at my level won millions and millions of dollars and just kept...

It would be your peers, I think, that would have the hardest. You got to have your own plan. If you don't have your own plan, that's the thing. If someone's going to be resentful and they're going to do it, you don't have a plan for you.

And so you're just... And maybe neither one of you had a plan and you got lucky and that's why I understand. Right. But that's part of it. You tried to be lucky too. This person got more luck than you got. So you got to hope that your luck comes around better. But if you don't have like a... At least you're like a plan, like you're like, I'm going... I'm trying to head towards something. I think people that are heading towards something, whether it's...

wealth or whatever it is, but at least there's like a goal in their life to something they can be satisfied with, then you wouldn't, you would be like, that's awesome, man. And you're, you know, and you're like, no, I'm doing my own thing. Like I'm, you know, we're getting like, it's, you would, if, if, and those are the people that would be given the money. Cause you'd be like, oh, well that's, this person's got a great heart and they're doing big things and, you know? And so, yeah, I don't know. You wouldn't be able to, would you have to quit the podcast?

If what? He won nine, four, nine, the billion dollar one. Oh yeah, definitely. I couldn't be around him. Yeah. No, I, I, uh, Aaron's in here in suits every day. I'd probably want those spoons under your couch. I mean, it seems like you could at least throw you a couple bones. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm not saying me. I get you better season tickets for the Titans.

You know? Yeah. I get you close down to the field. He's already insulting you and he hasn't even won the money yet. Yeah. I get you a nicer car. It's one row closer than his old tickets. Just one row. And he goes, every year I'll move you up. If you stay my friend, every year I'll move you up. Yeah. I get tickets one row in front of him. A big guy right in front of him. Oh, yeah. Just put some huge dude right in front of you. I mean.

I would set aside millions of dollars. I know. You're saying it's me. Yeah, well, now that you're wealthy, I don't think you take jokes as well. You can't give yourself too serious now that you're rich. I think the money's changed you. Yeah, it has. The hypothetical money is already changed you. That's what people would say to you every day. That's true. Even if it's not true, they would say that. You're changed, man. I always think with that, I think people change. I think...

More than likely the people around them change, then that person changes. Now, if they're young and they're maybe that person can change if they're super like, you know, if you have no experience of anything. But I do think because you'd always people say that, well, that person changed. And you're always like, you're like, I don't know. But did you because it's like then that person, the person around him seems mad. Yeah.

Or something. And then you're like, I don't know. I'm just going off hearing the stories about celebrities. And they're like, well, they change. And I think some do. Some become crazy. And some become swept up in that thing. And those drive me crazy. The ones that we always have people in the South that go talk about the South. And they hate the South. And you're like, yo, we're from here, dude. How do you not love it? How do you not proud of it? How do you not all this kind of stuff? But if you...

I think people around you, yeah, you would see them change more than you. I would change too. You would change in just your life. I mean, that's so much money. So that's the only thing. It's so much money. $10 million, I don't think you change. $400 million, you're like, it's just so crazy. And I think you do the things that in your conscious that you go like, you know what? I took care of a lot of people and I did a lot of things. And I think I did what I should have done. And if you can feel like that, then you could go, you could feel happy.

Your circle just would get tighter. Yeah. And then you make people around you have money, so then they don't feel like they're not going to ask stuff from you. And then you just walk around with that circle. I'd be like Ted DiBiase, you know? Million dollar man out here. That'd be the best. What is that reference? You don't know the wrestler Ted DiBiase? No. I don't know if you say it's DiBiase. Is it?

Yeah, that's it. Ted DiBiase. Yeah, the million dollar man. He's a wrestler. Crazy to think if he wrestled now and he's like the million dollar man, you're like, yeah, scraping by. It was like a million dollars. Now he'd have to be a billion dollar man. Yeah, absolutely. That's what you'd have to be to be

the wealth that he was when he was the million dollar man yeah when he was the million dollar man he's got gold he's got all this and blah blah and then now if he came out that you're like well you're going to be out of money immediately yeah they might not make him the trillion dollar man yeah i mean let's go let's go for it big yeah yeah uh let's do these uh

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That's athleticgreens.com slash nate and take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. God, I'm getting fired up. I was thinking, like, so if you won the money, would you make me, I can't do any more big man jokes? Would that go away? No, I think I would be more immune to it than I even am now. I would go, yeah, dude, I could buy you

He would go, when you say big, you mean my bank account? Yeah. And then your new friend. I mean, I maybe punch it up a little more than that. And then your new friends you hired are like, ah!

And we're just at your house. Your posse. Yeah, we're at your house like, God, we can't get a joke in over there anymore, dude. This groupie's got it. I would show up to the podcast, but I'd have a crew with me, dude. I'd roll it with an entourage in an Escalade. And then when you go to leave, you don't leave. And I go, what are you doing? And you go, I bought your house. And I go, what's that? And you just bought it.

And then you set it on fire in front of me? Bulldoze it. You bulldoze it? Yeah. You would want to do... I always take it like... So if you wanted to be a comedian still, because that would be the hardest part, because you're...

Everybody knows you're not relatable because it's like the switch is too quick. Right, right. And you won the lottery. So it's a completely different thing. You can maybe fire off one special about winning the lottery and maybe make some jokes about that where people would be interested in that. And then after that, people would be over it. So you could go an Andy Kaufman route.

and just like be like i'm gonna run for mayor for this town because how mad would that make everybody if you and then your answer is go well that's funny because i'm a billionaire and i know what to do and like you could do some like man you're from memphis tennessee i'm from hollywood like you just kind of just i think you'd have to go you would like you said john hodgman yeah i don't know yeah but it's like you're your boy john yeah and uh but

But you would have to go. You'd have to do that. And it could be very funny. And you'd be fun with it. I would be fun with it. Yeah.

You could do internet videos where people do the good thing, where they go find somebody that needs money and then they give them a bunch of money. But you could harass people and then embarrass them and then throw money at them. That's right. Just go the other. You go, yeah. You have to go mean and be the other way. You'd be on this podcast. Let me get this straight. Your barber is also your nutritionist. Yeah. You don't have one of each. You don't have one of each. Yeah.

That's just sad. And then you throw money at my face and we just always have to take it. Throw 100 grand. I get my haircuts on the toilet, okay? Yeah. Would that be the first thing? I would put a urinal in my house. I would love to put a urinal in my house. And a walk-in cooler. A urinal in the walk-in cooler. A water fountain with Pepsi. Right. Yeah. Still diet Pepsi. I'm still trying to stay healthy. Yeah. Yeah. Would you get a trainer? That's the one thing. Everybody who wins the lottery, 100%, they gain weight. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Be the opposite of that. But you could do it and you'd like get a... Like that would be hire a private chef that's at your house. Totally. That you're like, I don't... I eat when you hand me food because otherwise... I mean, you'd have to have a month of just like, yo, look, dude, I'm about to... I think you'd go get a private jet for a month and just be like, I'm going to go somewhere every night and I'm going to eat bad. But then...

You know, go to McDonald's and like buy everybody. You know, just it'd be pretty awesome to go to McDonald's and just go this McDonald's today. If you come, I will buy 24 hours. It's free. Let me feed the community. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I would have fun with that. Yeah, that would be fun. Yeah.

And then, you know, and they give you the bill and it's like a hundred grand. You see Shaq doing stuff like that. He goes into a grocery store and he goes, everybody, all their groceries are free. Yeah. That's why he's doing those every day. That's why he's doing those, the general commercials. Oh yeah. And that too many times. Yeah. Yeah. You would do that stuff. Like it's like, and I feel like if you do that and put videos out, that's what I think people do is like, they do that stuff. And then you're like, how much money do they give away? They're like, none. They just do it once on a video. Yeah.

And you're like, that guy is nice. Not Shaq. I think Shaq is... Because Shaq, most Shaq's videos, some are himself, but a lot of them are like other people showing that he's doing it without... I think Shaq's a very generous person like that. Right, right. And yeah, that'd be interesting. All right. I don't think people... I'd be curious to see how you'd be. I could see him, he'd be gone. I could see that. He'd want his payout in Confederate money. I think he'd get... I think he'd lose a lot of his money...

I think he would lose a lot of his money with a lawyer trying to sue the government to get the rest of the money back. I think he would be a bunch of that. Yeah.

And your views on the moon and space, I think, would change because you would be up there. Yeah. Well, we'll see. But yeah, I mean, I would go try to check it out. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I'd build a bunker. Yeah. Several floors deep. And you would only think that it was only one floor deep. I think you're... And I think Bates' first purchase would be Dave Ramsey's book. He'd be the most boring... Financial piece. Yeah. Yeah.

And he cut up those credit cards. Put a million dollars in an envelope. Yeah. Sort it all out that way. Oh, that's so boring. Bunch of different envelopes for different. Yeah. He has, yeah, he buys another Honda Accord. It's just, you know, well, it's got leather seats. Still battling, still battling the squirrels. Yeah. Don't even build a garage. Yeah. All true. All right. Let's read. We talked a while. Let's read some of you guys' comments. Uh,

Up first, Kevin Nealon comments. M4, great guest, fantastic episode. I love hiking with Kevin. I do love that too. And you did it, right? I did it. I didn't know if he wanted to say it yet. Well, he said it on the podcast. Well, I thought we'd still keep it a secret. Okay. You and your money. Say whatever I want. I'm from Hollywood. I'm from Hollywood. You're from Nashville, Tennessee.

Sarah Nistetter. It was so fun to have a guest again. However, I've often wished Nate would introduce his guest a little more thoroughly. As a newbie to the comedy world, I usually have no idea who the guest is, and I just learn along the way. Oh, yeah. You had no idea who Kevin Nealon was. That's shocking. I mean, not as shocking as Aaron not knowing who Ted DiBiase is, but Kevin Nealon's great.

Yeah. I felt like you just trashed him. Then at the end of it, you said he's great. Uh, he trashed, he trashed somebody and then trashed Aaron, Aaron, which I agree with. Uh, yeah, yeah. No, I remember all these, uh, I get it. Some of it is, I know who Kevin is so much and we all know who he is so much as I, but it's like, I do understand that. Like he even made a joke about it. Like now, like people don't know him as much as they did, but it's like, I, when I think I know someone so much that you don't think you have to do. Yeah. Uh,

But yeah, Thomas Gray. It blows my mind that you guys had an entire conversation about going under for dental work and there was no mention of Tim Watley. One of the funniest moments in Seinfeld is when Wally takes a hit of the gas before giving it to Jerry. Great show. Keep up the good work, boys and Laura.

Yeah, we didn't mention Tim Wadley. I mean, people, they always criticize me. They're like, God, he makes so many Seinfeld references. If I don't make one, they're like, what are you doing? Yeah. There's a lot. There's a lot. We should have mentioned it. I can do more West Wing references if we want. I can try to sneak more of those in. I'd like to see. If the people are clamoring for it. Did anybody win the Day of the Lottery episode? No. No, but I'll find some more tie-ins. Just wait. Do you know who played Tim Wadley? Bryan Cranston. Ooh.

Chef Stouffer S. Brownsington. Brownsington? Chef. C-H-E-F Stouffer. Chef Stouffer. Wow, that's a name. I better have a job. It feels like they made that Twitter handle. That's a name. It can be Chef Stouffer. Just to trip you up. Yeah. It seems like they made that just to trip you up. Maybe.

Chefstopher S. Brownsington. Chefstopher S. Brownsington. That guy, but if that's a real name, you better be... Old money. It better be old money. Yeah, it needs to be like, you know... He moved in the lottery. He changed his name to that. Yeah, that's what he... Driving to work at 5.15 a.m., Nate says, you could spoil a WW2 movie for me.

You could spoil a World War II movie for me. I made a U-turn and rewinded the podcast to hear it again. Truly not being hyperbolic, but this podcast is the greatest. Why did he have to make a U-turn? That's how he rewinds stuff in his car. So when your car is going, some of these cars, especially with the money the Brownsons have, they're

When you go, it plays. And you're like, wait, what did he say? And then you can either back up, but if you're on a main road, there's people behind you, you go to a U-turn, it goes... And then you get back in the lane, and then it's like, you can spoil a WW2 movie for me. Jeremy Edgar.

Kevin might actually be the first comedian to play Biden in a sketch, an SNL sketch about the Clarence Thomas hearing in the early 90s. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there he is. There he is. There he is playing young Joe Biden. He was only in his late 60s at the time. Yeah. Man. Yeah, sometimes people are so old. It is when you see people and they're like, you know, how old would you guess Vin Diesel is? Vin Diesel, 55? I'll say 48.

I'm going to go... I know the answer. I'm going 58. What did you say? I said 48. I'm going 58. 55. Wow. Right on the money. Yeah, maybe you're younger.

I think our age, your age, I'm younger, but Travis this weekend, he said he thought he was 45. I think people that know Vin Diesel, we see them, we think he's 45, but then I could see you and anybody younger think he's old because he would be old to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

superhero comments cameron ironically the rock voice superman's dog crypto recently really ties the pod together there you go the rock again does it all well he's everywhere i didn't know superman had a dog he does once the rock came he goes what if i'm a dog on the superhero oh okay yeah they go crypto the rock just gets to let me be superman they're like you can't you're everything

Well, I'll be his dog. And they go, all right, we'll let you be his dog. I think Kevin Hart's in it too. And he sings Moana. What's that? Is it Moana? Mulan? Yeah, yeah. I know. I like all those songs. I do love Moana, and I loved all those songs. Moana is a newer reference. Mulan's from a long time ago. Yeah.

Julian Turnwich. Turnwich. I like that last name. Yeah. Julian Turnwich. Sounds like there's someone she, you know, I don't know if it's a man or a woman, but...

I think it's a man. Julianne. Julianne. Yeah. Either turn, which is what makes me think it's a woman. It's weirdly enough, the last name. That is weird. How do you base the gender? I don't know. But the last name makes me think it's a woman. Looks like witch a little bit. Yeah. Maybe that's what it is. Oh, because, yeah, because all women are witches. Dusty meets this part. Yeah. Well, Julianne lives in Australia. Oh, well, maybe I'll see Julianne. It's a guy.

I don't know. I think so. Turnwich. I can't believe Barbarella. Barbarella. Barbarella.

I can't believe Barbarella didn't mention the greatest American hero for a number of reasons. It's almost identical to Nate's last special name. It was from the 80s when he was in his heyday, and mostly the theme song, Believe It or Not, was referenced in Seinfeld. It was George's answering machine message. Oh, believe it or not.

George isn't home. Well, he's right, or she's right. I'm certainly familiar with The Greatest American Hero, and we watched it recently, the pilot, my wife and I, during the pandemic. It does not hold up. I mean, this looks horrendous. It looks like a great movie to me. It was a TV show. It was the first... Now there's a lot of shows that show superheroes with their problems. That was the first one where it kind of made fun. I know if he had trouble flying, he crashed into a wall.

Oh, okay. So it was sort of satire on superheroes. Almost ahead of its time, but it was too ahead. Too ahead of it, yeah. It would do great now. Yeah. But it had a great theme song. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Derek Babb. Another one could be. Aaron's discussion of Superman flying brings me to my long-standing complaint about the power of flight.

There has to be some muscle that is doing the hard work of fighting gravity. Also, why would I be any faster at altitude? I think flying would be hard the whole time, and I would only travel at a walking pace. Always pick invisibility. Interesting point. But you're going off just Superman-

But it is, there has to be some muscle that is doing the work. Also assuming that gravity is real. Yeah, that's true. Making a lot of dangerous assumptions here. Honestly, I think this is Derek being very lazy. And he's like, yeah, but you're still using some muscle to get up there. Like, he's still like, I don't want to use anything. Am I going to float? And it's like, no, you got to like.

you got to do your abs a little bit. Yeah. And then you're like, you got to hold stretch up. You're bending calories. Maybe, yeah. He's like, that's tiring. What if you need a muscle to go invisible? That's what I was about to say. It's almost like holding your breath. Yeah. And then you start running down and you start kind of seeing you somewhere you shouldn't be. You're like, oh boy. Yeah. You just come, boom. Yeah.

Brian was... No, no, no, no. Just every time you breathe. Yeah. That would be pretty awesome, actually. A show, if they go, you're invisible, but it's only when you can hold your breath. So then you're like, the door opens. A, they're going to see. You got to hide behind the door like a regular person. And then when they go in the door, you got to... But they're not looking at me. And then you're running through the house and you're like, don't say anything. I won't.

They're staying so close to me, I can't. And then someone just was like, what was that? That sounded like someone gasping for air. And then you got to just walk out. That would be a great SNL sketch. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Also a great way to like help you quit smoking, right? If you're like, you know what I mean? You're like, you're smoking, you're having trouble quitting. And they're like, well, you could be invisible if you hold your breath. And then you're like, and you know, you want to quit so you get better lung capacity. Yeah, I think cigarettes would still win that battle. You think? People are like, I don't know. I'll keep your cigarettes. I think the stress of like, how much do you want to be? But it is funny. I make fun of Derek saying that it is the lazy way. But there is, if there's a muscle for it, there's a point you could be like...

The older you get, someone's like, let me see you fly. You're like, God, dude, I got to get up and like, you know, I would just find an easy way to just float a little bit. Yeah. Just go foot off the ground. Yeah. You get it. You get it. I still just don't see the advantage of being invisible unless you're looking to do mischievous things. But you can do mischievous things for the greater good. I don't know. I think. What about X-ray vision? Yeah.

I think, well, yeah. That would be too hard. There is some trouble with that, but you could also like, it's still mischievous though, I think. Yeah. Well, you could see, yeah, both of them are mischievous, but it is, you could do them for good. Yeah, it's like a virtuous spy. Yeah. You know? You need to go get someone out of jail, you know, or something, or someone's captured and you could walk right in and go.

go in there and but how are you gonna get them out they're still in the cell you you could but then you slowly just take down the people because they don't know you're there so you just slowly and then people are like why are people collapsing you could just put poison in everybody's thing and everybody collapsed and it's all people see is like a little bag walking around say how would i still do that they just walk through go what's that i think i would still be useless but i would walk low to the ground and you just keep the bag on the

Think that the ants are like... Or the wall on the floor. Well, I don't think anybody's looking down there. So you got to... Which is annoying because you got to be kind of like crouched down and being like... Yeah. My knees would start hurting. These floors are hard. In prison. You're just caught immediately. And they just go, well, how do you keep them...

When he's invisible, how do you tell? You're like, you just, every time we go, before we open the door, we wait 10 seconds. He can't hold his breath more than 10 seconds. So like, he goes, we just, you open the door, we're about to come in. He's usually not there. And you just wait. And then you go, and you're right at the gate. Your face is at the gate. Sorry, I tried. I can't. And he goes, will you back up? We're not in. Who, Matt?

Oh, Mac Beeler. I feel like y'all missed the best and most underrated superpower, x-ray vision, baby. That way you always know what's hiding. Love the podcast. Yeah. It's for that if you think you're getting jumped a lot. But I think it'd be hard to control it. Like, you know.

I don't know. You can control the depth of... Yeah, it's like, what do you want to do? You don't want to accidentally be walking in and everybody's naked to you or something. Yeah, that's creepier than invisibility to me. Yeah, I think very quickly, no matter your willpower, x-ray vision immediately leads to watching people naked. That's what I think. Mm-hmm.

I mean, immediately, because you're like, well, I could do it if I wanted to, and no one would know I'm doing it. So yeah, I'll do it. It'd be like the lottery. You just wouldn't tell anybody. Yeah. You convince yourself it's for the greater good. Yeah. I'm checking for broken bones. Yeah. Did you say that your dad said that Superman used to take off running before he would fly? Yeah, I think so. Like he would have to, you know, he couldn't just...

shoot right from the ground. I think the reason, I started thinking about this later, the old Supermans, they just didn't have the CG, so they had to have the guy take off running and literally jump off the screen. Oh, yeah. Just to leave the... Oh, interesting. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's probably true. Tough to make you just vault from the floor back then. Yeah. So he would just run and jump and he would be off camera. Yeah.

Josh Fields, the visual of Dusty muting his TV so Doctor Strange spells don't infiltrate his living room and summon things into his house made me lose it. Maybe the hardest I've laughed at any line of any show.

Well, I appreciate that, but it's true. I mean, I'm not doing it for a joke. Yeah. You watch Harry Potter? No. That was the quickest thought we ever did. Sorry, I asked. I watched the first one, you know. But back when I watched it, I was not in tune to the things I am in now. Oh, interesting. But now, yeah, I can't.

I can't get into it. You already subscribed to this other stuff. Yes. Yes, exactly. You're too deep with these meetings. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I mean. What if every conspiracy is you're actually the conspiracy?

Because it's, you're the one that believes everything. Yeah. And so what if everything's normal and then you're actual, the conspiracy, so you, they've tricked you into thinking like it's almost backwards. Well, there's an idea that, you know, we're all in a simulation here. So in that world, this is a video game that I'm in and you guys are all just part of the video game. Yeah. You know, so that very well could be it too. Yeah.

Why would you not have your own podcast and your own video game? Well, you know, it's all part of the game, right? I mean, you do have your own podcast. I'm joking. Yeah, yeah. We should be at Dusty Town. Yeah, it's all part of the game, right? But part of the game is you're like, I'm not going to. Well, like in any video game. I'll be on the side. All video games, you got to level up. You know what I mean? So I'm at a lower level right now. I'm working my way up in the game. Oh, okay. You got to get to the boss. So you got to kill the boss. That sort of thing. You just say it. You go, all right.

I think we're going to have a Dustin Town scene. I got to watch my back. Michael Birdwell. I couldn't understand how Clark Kent was never recognized as Superman, but after hearing that Cletus T. Judd was able to masquerade as Larry the Kidwood Guy with just a hat and sunglasses, it totally makes sense. Yeah, that's fair. I reached out to him last week when the podcast came out and said, hey, just so you know,

And we talked about this podcast today. When I saw you a few weeks ago on the golf course, I thought you were Larry the Cable Guy. And he thought it was very funny. And, I mean, Clevis is a very funny guy. He's a good sport about it. So he thought it was very funny. He said, sorry to disappoint you, but he watched it and thought the whole thing was very, very funny. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, he's great. Kendall Eaton.

I watched Bible Man as a little kid in the early 2000s. I got saved at a Bible Man live play when they did a sermon and invitation session

Wow. Really throwing some heat at you. Well, I guess Kendall's right. If you need a fake superhero to help you find the Lord, then...

Oh, wow. I think we know who won the lottery. We'll just start roasting everybody. No, that's great. No, that's great. I mean, I think we saw a Bible man lasted, what, 18 years or something like that? Yeah. He's the most successful superhero. Yeah. I mean, he doesn't look very Bible-like in this. I mean, look at this guy. He's got a sword.

Yeah. He's got a sword. I mean, his outfit looks pretty cool. It does look cool. Mm-hmm. Yeah. All right. This week, we're talking scandals and animals. Scandals and animals. Yeah. There's a Seinfeld reference. There you go. Actually, I looked up. It was 25 years ago this month that episode came out. Wow. Oh, really? Wow. Scandals and... You know what? 25 years... You know how I hung out with, actually...

in Boston, Brian Regan. Really? Yeah. Yeah, we got to hang out afterwards. I mean, it was very... He's the man. Yeah. It was very surreal. It was the first time I met him. I got to shake his hand once. He would have never known, remembered it when I was younger. But we hung out, and it was...

It was awesome. And it's 25 years is Brian Regan Live. I was about to say, how did you put that connection together? Yeah, because it was 25 years. We talked about that CD. You know, I don't know how... I've always said Brian Regan is the name I mentioned in that. But Brian Regan's CD, Brian Regan Live, it might be the most impactful CD or impactful comedy that I...

because I was just starting. I mean, I think it steered me, not that I was not going to go one way, but it, I mean, I would have been clean no matter what, or not that I was clean because of him, but it steered me in a, uh,

I remember my dad telling me to listen to this CD. I don't remember. Maybe he mailed me the CD. Maybe you could download something on Napster or something like that in 2003 or 2004. I feel like you told me he bought it for you or something. I think he bought it. My dad bought it at a gas station. Yeah. They'd have those bins with all the CDs. I distinctly remember talking to my dad and saying...

He goes, I had to pull the car over because I couldn't, I was laughing so hard that it was like unsafe for me to drive. And so I remember that. I remember thinking like, you know, you're like, God, can you imagine doing that to someone that's so crazy? And then I remember hearing the CD and just being like,

It was, I just never experienced something like that. And then, and then, and then I went and saw him at Zany's and it was just so crazy. And you're like, this guy's so good. And I guess it was kind of right when he was popping off. Like it was like, cause when that CD came out and I was talking to him and I told him about it and he, uh,

is, I mean, just the sweetest person. And then, um, and I was talking to him about it and he was like, yeah, he goes, I mean, that's when I was like, he just started kind of selling out clubs. So I was like, kind of in on the ground floor of it too, that I was starting comedy and I go to Zany's and it's sold out and everybody's there and they know why they're there. And then he's doing his next hour, which, uh, was the, I think the one at the improv, uh,

I don't know for sure. But like the one he filmed at the improv, it's on. I walked on the moon. I walked on the moon.

And then that one is just, it's so crazy. So, I mean, Regan could be the probably comedian. Like, I'm a big Seinfeld. Seinfeld is there, too. And then it's like both. Seinfeld was the famous, and I did like, and I studied everything Seinfeld did. Regan was the first that I was like, oh, you don't, I don't even know how big this comedy world is. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, and this guy is...

the funniest I've ever, like, just pound for pound. Like, it's crazy. I had most of this album memorized. I used to perform this for family reunions and stuff. This exact album, my brother downloaded on LimeWire, and I just, I wore it out, man. Yeah. It's so cool. Brian Regan Live, if you've never heard it. Is that his first album? Yeah, and it just blew up.

It's, I mean. U2. I saw them. I think we've talked about this. I saw them open for Seinfeld. I think you said. Yeah, TPAC. Yeah. Yeah. It's a decent show. Yeah. Yeah. Did you host? I featured, man. Yeah. Was it, yeah, 2000. I was, yeah, I came back. It was early 2000s. But that one, I remember, we remember being very funny, but I don't know if I knew to

about Theo. I was so excited to see Sign Call. I had no idea who Brian Regan was. Yeah, yeah. It was years later, but we're like, that's the guy that I saw. Wow. Yeah, that's what I like. I mean, look, in my show, I have, you know, we always have like two of us, Bridgestone, we're going to have all of us. And then my dad will be there.

But it's like, I like the idea of it's like when you go to a show, it's like, you know, trying to make comedy, like where it's like, yeah, the openers are, it's like, it's, it's, it's the, it's the show. It's like, it's a whole night of entertainment. And it's, uh, sometimes I think people get the, you know, and I think I used to think that like, well, I'm here to see that person. And you're like, you should go to it and be like, no, no, I'm here to.

you know, it's comedy. That's what's great. Yeah. It's like, cause you know, music, I can, you're like, well, I don't know that band and I don't know you, but with comedy, you're like, Oh, it's all new. So yeah. Yeah. You're going to laugh and not laugh. I don't know. It makes it fun. All right. Scandals and animals. Scandals and animals. So, um, we got to, what does that say? Cause we got to fix this. Yeah. They shut down and reformat it. Yeah. Cause we had to shut down. Yeah.

Scandals now. We were just talking about that. Whoa. Yeah. Uh, cause Folkland shut down and reformatted. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, uh, I, I saw, uh, Batesville. Yeah. Batesville. Uh, JC. Yeah. Uh, I saw, uh, not branding. Is it? Oh, there's a different one. I guess I should have waited to see who. No, I don't. Uh, yeah. Batesville. I don't, I'm yeah. My head is, uh,

Look her name up. I know her name. Look at Batesville. The Folklanders, they do a podcast about this podcast. It's very, very funny. Yeah, Jason. I don't know why I was thinking. You were right. You were right the whole time. I think one of the hosts is Brandy. Yeah, there's three hosts, three ladies, and

Yeah, it's very nice. And they do their own... I watched some Folkland the other day. Yeah. It's pretty fun. It's not a good time. Yeah. Well, it was a couple of guys, but then they shut down and reformatted. Yeah, shut down and reformatted, and now there's scandals and animals. And look at there. There's me with a squirrel. Yeah. I saw Jessie. She was at a show in Hartford. Yeah.

She designed, if people don't know, some of the merch that we have for her online is like the Hello Folk shirt. She designed it. Oh, cool. And we got her, and she's going to do another shirt too. And so, yeah, she's great. But they're, yeah, and they're all great. Yeah. So, yeah, very, very nice. So we were talking about getting rich with lottery and rich people and how it changed you. So one of the recent scandals, big, was the college admissions scandal.

And I remember when all that broke, you and I were talking on the phone because they were naming USC and UCLA and Stanford, all these big colleges, and how they were faking that they played sports they didn't even play on. And you said, I said, I wonder if Vanderbilt will be in that. And you said, if they do, Vanderbilt will actually play the kids, which is very funny. Yeah.

Yeah, they're like, well, who else did it? You're like, oh, our starting quarterback. Yeah. You guys are in big trouble. No, we played him. He starts. Yeah, we legitimized. Yeah, we took it and we ran with it. He's actually better than the guy that we had before. But yeah, that college admissions scandal. So do you guys know how that all kind of went down? Yeah, I know about it.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I, yeah, for me, I was like, oh, I thought I just, cause they were like, oh, this rich lady was like trying to get her kids in school by paying them more money. And I was like, oh, I just figured that's what they always do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's how it works. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I saw, so when that was going down, like when it was like in the, like it was maybe going to say, you know, whatever the, what's going to happen or something that Lori Loughlin, right. And Becky. And Becky always loved her. Oh,

But I happened to get to golf at this private course. I'm blanking on it now. In Vegas. JC? Yeah, JC. JC Brandy. It was...

Oh, my gosh. My brain's gone today. So it's in Palm Springs. If some people are golfers, they're going to know what it is. It's a discovery property, which is another one, a big thing. And so she was in the group in front of us. We let her play. Or behind us, and we let her play through. Recently? No, no. This was when this was going down. Oh, right. It was going down. So I just happened to be there. But it was kind of crazy.

Because you're just like, you're all over the news. Yeah. And it's all about to happen, whatever's going to happen. And I'm not saying she's just out playing golf. I'm sure she's trying to just like- Take her mind off of it or whatever. Yeah, what are you going to do? You can't go anywhere. And now you're going to pay your way right through our game. Yeah. And I go, no, go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah. It would have been funny to say, yeah, you're going to skip ahead. No, no. I'd like you to skip ahead. Go ahead. Yeah.

And I guess her daughter. I make her, give me some money. I'll let you play. Yeah. I go, I know you're not against that. That would have been good. Yeah. I think her daughter who she helped was also kind of famous in her own right, wasn't she? Yeah, I think she was on the internet and she didn't even want to go to the school. Yeah. I can't, it is true that I believe, I can't imagine that they're all doing it. And some of this stuff, you just think, you start going, why are you picking her to be the one that you're mad at?

Like you're, you know, you do like... The other one, Felicity Huffman, right? She was the other. It was kind of the two of them, but it was a bunch of them. Yeah, yeah. But why are you picking them? You go tell me this hasn't gone on for probably 50 years at these places. You're not all doing this. And then you be, it's like, it's almost like they find, like, it's like you feel like people are starting to get wind of it and it's all about to crumble. Then they go, she did it. Yeah, you got to sacrifice a couple of people. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then I don't like that because you're like...

I'm not saying whatever. I don't even know what they paid, and they skipped a line or something. Paid a lot of money to a guy who was kind of like a fixer. Yeah. And he would do some things with the test, and he would also reach out to some college students

coaches on lesser known sports like sailing or whatever and crew and stuff like that. Yeah. And pay them to say, yeah, we're looking to recruit this student just to build up their resume. Yeah. The fact that that guy even exists, the fixer shows that it's happening a lot. Yeah. Oh yeah, definitely.

Yeah. But this is a fun scapegoat for the more powerful people. Yes. Right? They go, oh, it was Aunt Becky. And we all look down there and they're up there still doing it. And we go, look at her. Yeah. Look at her. Because I think there was like 10 or 15 people who actually got busted in this sting. Operation Varsity Blue is what it was called. But they were the two famous. Yeah. I don't think I... I mean, I guess it's like, well, there's people not getting into school because of that. But...

Yeah, I think that's the thing. Other people... But I mean, to go... You know, you're not a community college. Yeah. So everybody that's able to go to your school... You're not taking my spot. They weren't going to let me go to that school. Like, so... You know, you're like... It's almost like that school's maybe mad about it. And the school's like... People that want to go to that school is annoyed. But...

But for me, you're like, yeah, you wouldn't. I can't go there. Right. I can't go there. Don't want to go there. Yeah. I've been applied. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't. Yeah. Yeah. You figure. Yeah, it is that you just figure everything. Wasn't like the Martha Stewart thing. Like when she got. It was insider trading, I thought. Yeah. But you're like. Yeah, they're all doing that. There's a point that you just go like.

Well, why, you know, you're like, it's just they make the one person go. And then you're like, y'all are just, that's the people. You're like, I don't trust any of you. Then they go to the point of that one person. Then they go, all right, now the problem's solved. Right. Don't keep looking into it. It's almost like, yeah, you pick a famous person to go, yep, we're taking them down. You know, and then you're right. Don't keep looking into it. I think that's something that is maybe the older you get, that's something you start thinking about. You're like, I can't imagine it. Or me, right?

the more you just, you go, I can't imagine that person's probably the problem. Yeah. Like there's gotta be something else. And I think a lot of times more people do get taken down. It's just the famous person that makes the news.

Sure. We all got taken down. It might just be the story. Nate Bargatze arrested. Brian Bates and friends arrested. That's what it was. I'm like, Dusty's going to kill me. Yeah, yeah. I'll be like, I didn't know a thing. Yeah. They go, well, that's funny. You said it literally on the episode called Scandals in Animals. Yeah. All right. So, yeah, I don't think that affected any of us too much. But Spygate and Deflategate really affected me. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, you know, I think I cared at the time and I could care less about any of it now. The more they got, yeah, the fact that the government was involved.

That's a different Spygate. I guess there's something else called Spygate. I Googled Spygate. It was way more intense than I thought it would be. Did you type in Dusty's brain? What search engineer are you on? Dusty's thoughts? Dogpile. You got to be careful. Getting the real stuff on Dogpile. What is Dogpile? You're not on Google? No. I use Brave browser, so it uses, I think, DuckDuckGo.

Oh, I didn't. So people were really using that stuff. I use the browser that I use. This is the default. But if I'm open, if I'm on another person's computer, I still go to Google because it's the most intuitive. Oh, I think. But yeah, like, so the brave is like, what's it supposed to be like?

What does it mean? It's an anonymity-focused web browser that I use for everything. So people can't track it? Yeah, it's going to block all ads and everything's all blocked. No cookies? Yeah, it takes care of all that. Oh, so you don't get asked about cookies? No, no, dude. Really? Yeah, I nip it in the bud. But I thought one time you said you like the cookies. Well, sometimes they're useful, right? No, he likes cookies. I like eating cookies. Different cookies. Yeah.

I can see how that would be confusing. I'm a huge fan of cookies. I brought you cookies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah. Is your birthday today or yesterday? Oh, yesterday. Oh, happy birthday. Happy birthday, buddy. I had no idea. Thanks. I don't tell anybody. Yeah. Just like the lottery. Yeah. Keep it quiet. That's right. Yeah. I'll just remember who's rude to me. Yeah. And then I'll get back at them. Remember who won, who said it was your birthday? You were talking about people. In my mind, Aaron and I are...

Look who already moved on from your birthday. He does. Remember that? Remember that? Don't give him a dime. Take money from him. I wasn't even listening. Was it your birthday? In my mind, Aaron and I are like the same age in my mind. But then I started thinking the same difference between he and I is he and Harper. Oh, wow. Wow. That's crazy. Wow.

That's crazy. I had to be honest with myself. You were drinking beers legally when I was born. I could have. Or almost, yeah. Oh, because it was still 18 at the time, right? Probably, right? I think it's moonshine, really. You didn't even have it. It was prohibition. It's crazy. Also, same career difference. How old are you? 31 now. Wow.

So old. How do you feel about that? I feel all right. I love not telling people my birthday. Yeah. Took it off Facebook. I got three texts yesterday from mom and dad, from one of my siblings, from

And then from my dentist's office. Not even the other siblings? A couple of them called later, but it was just like, yeah, back in the day when it's on Facebook, it's like you're almost asking for it. Like, just give me 10. Yeah, I get it. It's fun to only get the three. Sorry to bring you it up. That's okay. Yeah.

I don't understand. Why don't you like to get birthday wishes? I'm just, I don't know. I'm kind of over it. I get it. You just don't want the attention. You're just like, dude, I'm just trying to go through. That's the only reason I'm on Facebook. Yeah. But you're trying to go through. I think he opened the podcast on his birthday, but it's my birthday. Yeah. I brought my baby on so people didn't forget. Yeah.

You don't want the attention, which I understand that. You're just kind of like, I don't want it to be a whole thing. Because there always feels like there's a bunch of things. It's always like, it's your birthday, then someone else's birthday, then it's this and it's that. And you're like, I just want... Everything feels... I think doing comedy too, when you go do a show, that's a lot. That's a big thing. And then so everything is a big thing that you kind of just... I could see in your birthday, you're like...

Yeah, I think that we're all just trying to get likes on social media, right? So it's like when you're a comic and you're putting out videos and stuff, you want your likes on those videos. But when you didn't do comedy, you're like, you want your likes for your birthday. I just remember when I wasn't doing comedy and the birthday on Facebook, that was a big deal. You're like, this is a hot day. I almost want to make a post the next day just to stay in the algorithm here, you know? Yeah.

Well, I remember you always like you would think that you would go through and try to thank everybody. Yeah. And at the beginning, you're thanking everybody, everybody. Then you and then you finally get to go. If I don't get to I don't think I was able to get to everybody. But thank you. I try to get to as many as I can.

to then you get to, you don't even mention it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. All right. I appreciate it, guys. Happy birthday, man. Thanks, man. Yeah. Yeah, mark it on your calendars, people. Yep. It was, what is, was yesterday? The 13th. Yeah, my dad's birthday is November 12th. Oh, nice. Yeah. And I always put the birthdays on Instagram. Yeah, so people knew. And,

Oh, yeah, you post about it. But the reason I, I mean, I did post about it and still no one commented. No one cared. How does that feel? He posted about it and still people said, delete that. I probably didn't know until you saw my wife posted. That's what I was about to say. Cause I knew it was in November, not too long after mine. I went to your Facebook. I'm like, he didn't have his birthday on here anymore. And,

And then I did your dad's on the 12th. And then, yeah, Lucy posted. I like saying happy birthday. I got all the birthdays in my calendar of everybody. I got yours in there. I didn't get one yesterday. Literally, me and Justin Smith were talking about it, and I go, I'm going to see him tomorrow. I'll just tell him tomorrow. That's what I honestly said. He goes, he's like, it's Aaron's birthday. I go, I'll just see him tomorrow. I go, I don't. Didn't you say last year you wished him happy birthday? Oh, last year I didn't respond. He just gave you a thumbs up or something? Yeah. Yeah.

He's still mad about it. Like an open mic or a billionaire open mic won't respond to a national headliner. I mean, get out of your mind. Took time from his arena tour to wish me a happy birthday. This guy is worth a trillion dollars. Give me a thumb back. He's on his phone. If you're going to do that, at least give me some money. But I have all the birthdays on my calendar now. Because I like...

The people that were, you know, all the guys that, all the, you know, all the people that were with, I kind of like being like, hey, it's this guy's birthday. I also like that Justin knew and didn't send you a text. Justin Smith knows everybody's birthday. Yeah, he didn't send you a text. You know, he sent me one later at night. It was my wife's post broke the floodgates open. Okay. But it was just, who knew? Yeah. My dentist, my parents, and my brother. Yeah, they were on top of it. Yeah. Yeah. And my wife, I guess. Yeah. Kevin Nealins, later this week. Is it really? 18th.

Well, my dad's is on Thanksgiving this year. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Doubling up. Yeah. Congrats. Yeah, so I'm going to get him some turkey, dresser, you know, that sort of thing. Yeah. Cranberry sauce. Celebrate Thanksgiving? Yeah, I like Thanksgiving. Oh, I don't think you celebrate the American holidays. I like Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving's a good holiday. That's number one. Yeah, I think it's a very- What do you do for Christmas? I don't do anything. Put up a pole? Yeah. Festivus? Festivus. Yeah. Why don't you celebrate Festivus?

Do you know what Festivus is? I know the reference is from Seinfeld. He doesn't believe in, what is it? Commercializing Christmas. Commercializing Christmas. Okay. So he's against that. Yeah. It's all just like corporations just trying to sell stuff, blah, blah, blah. So they have a poll, and then he just goes around and tells people what...

You guys, what is it? Errand of Grievances. Errand of Grievances. Oh, yeah. How you've disappointed me this year. Oh, I did a show with that guy. I got a lot of problems with you guys. Yeah. Who was that guy? I did a show with that guy one time. Michael Richards? No, no. You were on that show? Frank Costanza? Who was? Banyan. Banyan. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, Steve Heitner. I've worked with him. Yeah, he was the best. Yeah. He was a really nice guy. Yeah. Yeah, you should do Festivus. All right. It's right up your alley. All right, I'll check it out. Yeah.

So another scandal I remember since we've known each other that was fun was the boy up in the balloon. Yeah. Do you remember that? Yeah. Remember this, Dusty? No. Yeah, we talked about this one. I think we did. Yeah. Yeah. All right. You want to move on? Yeah. I mean, we might as well say it. But we did talk about it. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to be left hanging. Everybody thought their boy was in this balloon. Flying across the country. Yeah.

And he wasn't. And we talked about this. Yeah, we did. You're right. Yeah. So they thought he was in the balloon, then he wasn't. Yep. It was like in Colorado, I think. Where was the boy? Hiding in the garage. They just did it for publicity. Oh, okay. But I remember it. I remember watching it. It was very exciting. I mean, it was News Crew's carrying it live. You know, he's in there. I mean, and it's one of those, I'm glad he wasn't there, but it's like, that's a perfect, they should just do these slides.

Someone should do this kind of stuff every now and again just to kind of get everybody on board. Yeah. It's like a good, which maybe they do it on purpose. Yeah. Like they're, you know. Yeah, let's do it. Let's say there's a dog in there. What was the government doing while everyone was focused on this? Right. Yeah.

Exactly. Everyone's looking that way. What's happening over here? Well, that's what they always say. Helium was getting jacked up. Yeah. Whatever the news is talking about, there's something else going on. They go, we want to get rid of helium. And you go, of course. You go, yeah, you should. Boys are up there. You can't balloons. It's dangerous. And then now helium is, I mean, $80 a puff.

It's tough to come by these days. It's tough to come by. I do think there might be a helium problem. I think Laura sent me a thing. There's a helium shortage? We might run out of... A googled helium problem. Don't you dig underground for it? Yeah.

What is the helium problem? Well, I don't know if this is what you were talking about. Astrophysicists may have solved the embarrassing problem of why there's so much less helium-3 in the universe than predicted by standard cosmology. Maybe that's it. That's what Laura was talking about. Around the dinner table? No, that's just what's in the balloons. Helium, you know. You think that's what Laura was...

Let's see what's going on with helium. There's a helium shortage. Yeah. Helium's really amazing. Defies gravity, really. It can just, you know, just lift balloons. I didn't know. Well, that makes sense. MRI machines need liquid helium to super cool their magnets, but there's a helium shortage. Yeah. Yeah. Because we're doing... Oh, yes. So it's like, it is funny to think that there's a helium shortage and...

You know, it's like we're too much balloon stuff. And we go, hey, we need these for like real things. And it's like, but my birthday. But I want to go to Party Depot. But it's Aaron's birthday. I want the balloon to get stuck on the ceiling and not us not be able to get it. I want to talk funny.

yeah i did that the last time i did that i got real lightheaded and i was like oh i never want to do the talk funny thing again with helium yeah when i was a kid it was really fun but now i'm like i feel like this is i shouldn't be breathing in this gas yeah have you ever done the other uh sulf what is it the one that does the opposite makes your voice really deep uh-oh that one's citrus whip it yeah it's not not with this yeah yeah i think that was a

Did y'all do the, what would y'all do? You could do that. You could get that your dad for his birthday. I'd like to get him some balloons. Well, we have a helium shortage. Yeah, let's get it. Well, I'll tell him. I'll say this is precious air. Just put air. Just put regular air in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'll say this is, you know, we have a helium shortage. I want to get you some balloons. I'll get him a one balloon for every age he is. So I'll get him roughly like 73 balloons. Yeah.

It's a lot. Yeah, let's do that. Yeah, and then just send them in the air. Tie it around my dad's hand if he floats off. We'll get on the news. Watch him shut down the MRI room early.

My dad will need an MRI. There's just a woman in a waiting room and they're good doctors. We can't do any MRIs. And she's looking out a window and see 73 balloons go up. That says happy birthday. And she just in a sad voice goes, and it is her birthday. But she did not get the balloons because right when she went in, they go, some guy just bought all the helium 73.

Got to have a good time. Yeah, you do got to have a good time. Here's one I had not heard of. In 1980, Rosie Ruiz won the Boston Marathon. She set a record time for female runners.

But they noticed she wasn't sweating very much and wasn't really that much out of breath. Turns out she jumped in line with a half a mile to go. That was the way to do it. Finish the race. And apparently she'd done this before. She qualified for the Boston Marathon by winning the – or not winning, but finishing the New York Marathon –

And the New York Marathon, people later testified, we saw her on the subway going from place to place. Wow. She would tell people she was, because she was wearing a bib on the subway, and they're like, what are you doing? She's like, well, I injured myself, so I'm just going to get medical help or whatever. But then she got off at the finish line and finished it there. Can you not take your bib off? I don't know, but...

Maybe get a light jacket. I know, but where are you going to put that jacket? Maybe tie it around. I guess you can't tie it around your hips. I don't think you can win the marathon and have a jacket tied around your hip. Like that's the, yeah. That's tough. You think we'll just hide the bib and you're like, yeah, but you have to.

You know, you got to wear where you're going to put it. You would need to have someone. Maybe get a few ponchos that you put in your pocket. You would need to have someone help you. Yeah. And then they need to have just they need to have a shirt. And then you're just kind of keep popping in and out. Abigail sent me something about the first Olympics. Like there was like there was all kinds of stuff. Would they like cheating? Like one guy was on drugs and one guy was on one guy took a cab.

In the first Olympics? Yeah. In Greece? It's in an article. Yeah.

Or some Olympics. I don't remember the first one, but... He shows up. He's on a... He's from the future. I'm sorry. It's a yellow chariot. And he goes with the checker thing on it. He goes, I'm not trying to be rude here, but did you just get out of that cab? It's just like a New York... And there's a driver. And he goes... That's what the yellow cabs were back then. Horses painted yellow. He goes, I'm not...

Do you have yellow on the inside of your legs? Do you ride that horse here? His hair's blown back. He goes, what are you talking about? He goes, I just think you cheated. I find it hard to believe that you set the record. And they don't even know what the record is because there is no record. Um...

Well, I've got a few more. Look up, see if you can find like the Olympics cheating. Like if there's a, there was a cab, taxi cab. Yeah. It was like a first, I don't even know. Uh, yeah. The 1904 Olympics. Yeah. Yeah. This guy was given Brandy. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. He sent me a thing. Yeah.

At the Little League World Series, there was a kid from Brooklyn who was dominating through a perfect game through 76 miles per hour, which would be equivalent to over 100 miles per hour on a normal road.

In today's money? Yeah, in today's money. He was two years older than he was allowed to be. Yeah, what was this guy? What was the one kid? Well, this happens all the time. Oh, yeah, I remember this. Danny Almonte? Yeah. Yeah, that was his name? Yeah, yeah, I remember. I watched it. Yeah. Because it was like, this kid was ridiculous. He's so tall. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, if you're real tall, that's kind of... What happened to him? He's a coach now, or assistant coach at some high school. He never made it in the majors, but...

He's still around. Because he wasn't as good. I think there's a lot of stuff like that with baseball where they think people... Like you hear them asking people's ages and it's hard to find their age. Oh, yeah. I do think the birth certificates are kind of crazy. Because it's crazy to be like, if this kid is this good and he's just two years older. He was from the Dominican Republic and they just...

Couldn't nail down at first his age, but then they kept investigating. So how old would he had been and how old did he need to be? He was 14 and the cutoff was 12. Okay. But that's a big age difference. It is. Yeah. That's like you're a man playing with children. Yeah. Pretty much. You've hit puberty and you're going so hard. And if you're tall too, it's like hard to fake the age.

I mean, he was the star, though. Like, I mean, it's... See, it's like those kind of stories are just like...

kind of going away. Like it's like, or not going away, but there's just, you hear about every single thing. And back then. So as soon as you said that, I clicked on the story on ESPN. These stories are going away. Oh my gosh. Wiping them from history. Yeah. It's, you know, like that said that balloon boy was like, I don't know. It's like, you know, you had the baby Jessica and the whale and you had like, you know, stuff that's terribly sad. Like, but they get her out and you're all watching it. And the whole world's watching it. And you're,

What was the last kind of unifying experience like that, do you think? There's been some like the Chilean minors that were trapped. Yeah. There was the boys, the soccer players. Yeah, that were trapped. I just feel like that we don't necessarily, and I don't mean me or you guys, but I feel like as a society, we just don't really care about that stuff like we used to. I think we do. I don't think the media does. Oh, yeah, maybe. But I just feel like we're so numb to things now.

But I think we care. I always just think the people in the media and the people that run what you're going to see, they're obsessed with...

social media and they think all this stuff's real and they think it's the most important thing because that's all they're looking at. And so then they think, well, no one cares about this. And so they're, and the clicks are about the headlines and it's not about, you know, that was back when news, I think most people still would like those news stories and like just being,

You know, it like it is. You kind of everybody's watching everybody's. I mean, now it's all like the ones that people watch are like someone's missing. That's what it is. Like Casey Anthony type stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like you're watching those kind of stories. I mean, maybe we're not getting fallen, you know, getting stuck in places as much anymore, but.

The balloon thing. We're lucky. We'll have one. If we're lucky, we'll have a good one. Yeah, it needs to get nice. And maybe now, if people do, they have their phones and they just are able to get help or they're able to make their story their own story. Yeah, yeah. They go live on Facebook to be like, I'm trapped in a mountain. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. And then Facebook Live. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'll say that and I'll transition to animals. If it involves a bear, our folks will let us know about it. Because anytime anything with a bear happens. Hey, bear. I got a bear shirt. Yeah, I like that shirt. That's a good looking shirt. I was wondering if that had been made for this podcast. No, it was North Face. I was at the Bass Pro Shop in Memphis. Oh, yeah, the Pyramid. Yeah. And I saw it and I was like, all right.

Hey, Bear. There was a couple stories a few weeks ago that people bombarded us with. One was the guy mountain climbing in Japan where the black bear...

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Now, there was a... The other big story about that same time was the grizzly bear attack, the Wyoming wrestling students. That's crazy. Yeah. And most recently, there was two bears fighting each other. Yeah. We all got tagged in a couple of times. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah. I don't even know if that was new. I was just thinking sometimes they get recycled. Oh, okay. I just saw it. But yeah, I mean, I still stand by... I think Barry Sanders could tackle and or juke a bear. Yeah. I think...

I think he could. Yeah. In his prime. Not now. That'd be ridiculous. Yeah. It was funny how fast Rogan shot that down when he tried to. He goes, no. He said, yeah, he said, nah. And he said, because they do it with deer all the time. But I'm like, well, the beer centers is not a deer.

Yeah, deers would be. That is true, though. Deers can move quick. But you're used to dealing with a deer. Yeah. You don't know to watch the hips of bear sailors. Yeah, yeah. You're watching the head, and he's gone. He's like, eh. Yeah. Keep out on that belt buckle. Yeah. That's how you do it. Yeah.

I may, they take up so much room, but it is, you think you gotta, for a bear, you almost, you gotta get it going. So there's not a quick juke. Yeah. It's a committed juke. Go to the right. And the bear's like, look at this guy. And then maybe a spin. Yeah. I like a spin. I don't know if they've ever seen a spin. Cause I don't know if deers can go backwards. Uh, can deers go backwards?

I never seen it. No one knows. No one knows. I hit a deer with my truck the other day. Oh, recently? Yeah, unfortunately. You were speeding, weren't you? I don't think so. It was night and I was driving in the mountains. Whose fault was it, do you think? I blame the deer. He ran out right in front of me. Mm-hmm.

I hit it. I was able to keep going, though. That felt good. You didn't even... I couldn't. There was no shoulder. There was nothing I could do. I just hit it, kept going. When I finally found a place, I pulled over. It did some damage, but it was still drivable. Yeah. So, and... Just par for the course being Dusty Slay, huh? But it felt, yeah, it felt good to be in a truck. Where were you? And hit a deer and then just keep driving. I was like, oh, man, that's unfortunate. Yeah. Yeah.

Is this in McMinnville? Coming back from McMinnville. So there's a story on the news about a man who got hit late at night. McMinnville was a man. He's okay, but he's looking for whoever hit him. No, this was a deer. Unless he was dressed as a deer. And I got to say, that's still his fault. Yeah. Deer can walk backwards.

They can also spring backwards as well, but it's just not very graceful. Oh. According to a guy on a message board. That's the best source I can think of. I wish that deer had sprung back a little bit. Then I wouldn't be dealing with the... Well, I get sent every video or photo of anything to do with squirrels. And there's some pretty good ones. There's one recently where a guy lift up his hood of his car and there was over 500 walnuts that squirrels had put underneath his car. Wow.

And they're not small either. They were a pretty good size. So there's a lot of stories like that. Well, that's not bad for that guy if he opens it up. It's like, walnuts are not cheap. You know, that's pretty good. It's like, all right. I appreciate you guys bringing this to me. That sounds like a friend. But just starting your car is probably going to be good. Yeah. Get popcorn. Yeah, it's a little...

All right. All right. And then there was one just this weekend of a Cobra that, uh, bit down on a boy and the boy bit back and killed him. Killed the Cobra. Killed the Cobra. Wow. Six year old boy, I think. From the bite? Yeah. Yeah. Bit him twice. The kid bit down on the, on the Cobra and killed him. Yeah. You gotta do what you gotta do. And,

And is the kid all right? Yeah. I think the kid, I think in India they have any of it pretty ready to go. So I think they... People can move. I come in there, got them in baskets. Yeah. So I think the kid's fine. The Cobra did not make it. What was going on with the kid? Was he practicing the...

The flute thing that they use? I think cobras are dumb dozen over there, man. I think so. I think he was just outside playing and came up. I was an eight-year-old and he came up. Like a rattlesnake for us. Yeah, I mean, can you imagine your regular snake is a cobra? That's your regular snake. Yeah. That's like just...

And maybe it's not, I don't know. But like if you're just, like in Australia, those are the brown snake. It's always like either one or two deadly snakes. And it likes to hide in your garage. Yeah. It's not, you know, we get, you get like gardener snake, stuff like that likes houses. But they're, golly, man, your brown snake is like, no, that snake just likes. It's like every day. Every day. You see one. Is the deadliest snake on the planet.

Yeah. I mean, I don't like snakes. I don't understand why people have them as pets. I don't like them. I have one. Yeah, so do we. Yeah.

Do you hold it a lot? Do you get it out and hold it a lot? I would talk to it. It would talk to me at night. Yeah. You're like a young Harry Potter. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you remember that detail. Yeah, I do. He's a snake whisperer, that guy. You think of it every day? It's called a parcel mouth. I don't think I've seen Harry Potter. I think I've seen one. Yeah, that's right. But I don't remember any of it. Anybody that could communicate with snakes? Yeah. Well, in the book, it's not a good thing that he can talk to snakes. It's not an admirable trait.

It's something only bad wizards have. Is he bad in the end? Well, no. He's good, but Voldemort, he's a horcrux, Voldemort. Why do they always say the name you can't say?

They call him he who must not be named or you know who because he was so bad in this world that they don't even want to say his name. That's how bad it is. Would he show up if you said his name? Well, in the seventh book, they place a trace where they can track down whoever says the name, but that's not until the very end. Yeah. But it's just out of fear that they don't want to say his name because he terrorized the world so much. Yeah. They call him you know who. Like Beetlejuice almost. If you say that three times, he will come. Yeah. Yeah.

Yes. And he's sometimes a snake. Who? Beetlejuice. Oh. Oh, there you go. There's the tie-in. It sounds like Michael Keaton. Yeah, in the movie. Oh, he becomes a snake. He's like a snake in one scene. I think at the end when it's really going bad. Yeah. He gets some rattles on him. Yeah. He got riled up. Yeah. Yeah. They kind of ruffled his... Yeah, Beetlejuice is wild. It's very fun. But I watched a little bit of it the other day and then I had a dream about the Beetlejuice snake. And I decided I would not finish it.

Is the snake not at the end? I think there's some other snake in there, some other sand snake reference. Yeah. I may be wrong about that, but yeah, I feel like it was kind of near the end where he kind of got... Now, do you watch Penn and Teller or anything like that? Nah. Nah, I used to watch a little stuff on TV. Who was the guy that was real popular for a while? David Copperfield? Yeah, I used to watch a little bit of it. He disappeared a bus or something on TV. So my dad comes around, you're uncomfortable?

No, I mean, I think you've talked about your dad before. He's like, he's doing tricks. Yeah. He's not necessarily doing magic. Yeah. And he's not doing spells. Not necessarily. Now, if he's doing spells... You'd be uncomfortable. Yes. If your dad was like, you know, I don't know, does he have a wand? Multiple. Okay, well. Yeah. Okay, well. So...

I don't know. This is a Reddit thread. Which animal would be most terrifying if it could speak? My gosh, great question. I'd say any of those insects. Any insect. Well, that was one of the ones that said a tick would be very terrifying if it's talking to you while it's buried, or a mosquito or anything. I think they're little, so you don't... Like, it wouldn't be...

I think a bird, and I don't mean like a parakeet that says a word or two, but I think a bird, if it could really talk, they could just fly around, be spying on everybody, just pop up, telling secrets.

You know what I mean? An invisible bird would even be worse. Well, you just imagine a bird flies up, and he's watching you through the window. Right. And then he's like, ah, I saw what you were doing in there. I'm going to go tell people. Little birdie told me. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Little birdie told me. Would you still eat meat?

If they're like yelling, don't kill me. No, it'd be pretty hard. That would be tough. I'd have somebody else kill me. I'm trying to think what animal would be scariest. For me, it's ants because they live in these huge colonies and it's so organized. And if they could talk to each other and they could talk, I mean, it'd be scary. Yeah.

And there's more than people. There are way more ants than people in the world. What about rats, though? If a mouse gets into your house and is like, hey, I saw you set that trap out. Appreciate you trying to kill me. I'll get you. You'd almost have to think about what ones have not been Disney movies. Because you'd be almost in your head, you're like, I was thinking a monkey. Then you're like, well, you've seen monkeys talking, an elephant. What animal...

You know, would be the... Yeah. Some of the spiders. This is the spiders. Imagine going out in your backyard and hearing hundreds of voices conversing with each other. Yeah. Maybe it is something that you can't see. Yeah. And if you realize like, oh, this is how many are... There's so many of them. And there's so many of them that you would be like... And you're hearing them in your house. Right. And you're hearing them behind everything. And everything you... Every door... Maybe a spider. Every door you open is...

What are you doing later on? It's just normal conversations. You go, golly, guys, you guys are... Here it comes, here it comes. Maybe it'd be less scary, though, if you know they're there. What if it was your own dog, but it had not been talking before, but suddenly just started talking? And then he was like, I actually don't like the food that you've been giving me. And then you're rubbing, and he's like, don't do it like that. Yeah, your dog could be...

Maybe not scary, annoying. Yeah. Just to be... You find out it doesn't actually love you in the way you thought it did. He walks in, hello. Yeah. And you go, I thought you were... When you wag your tail, it means you're happy. He goes, it means I hate you. Yeah. I wag it. I'm telling you to go away. I don't have thumbs. Yeah, and if you try to get rid of me, I'll tell people that you have been beating me. Yeah. And they have press conferences. Yeah. A dog would be tough for people because they would be...

They would just, you know, or a cat. A cat would maybe be bad because a cat would, I think they would enjoy watching your life crumble. Yeah. Are we assuming they're on our intelligence level? I mean, if we're making it up, I would assume that it's more fun. I mean, I don't, I guess if you go the other way, it's just not as, there's no conversation to be like, no, they're like babies. And you're like, what are we doing? So they're just like normal, like they are now. Snakes still be fun.

Pretty scary if a snake talked to you. Yeah. Yeah. Bedbugs. Bedbugs would be, yep. But again. No, you couldn't even go, you probably could never sleep in a bed again. But you're saying it'd be, it'd be better. They are. Yeah. You still can't see them, but fleas, like fleas.

That's what I mean, like spiders. Spiders are everywhere and they hide. So spiders all start talking in here. And what do they say? They fall in your mouth. Yeah, they're like, hey, you ate my brother last night. Yeah, and you go, I was asleep. Don't blame that on me. But if you could just hear chatter...

Then you would just be like, you couldn't, it doesn't matter. You couldn't walk into a room. If you called like a pest control and they come and then they're like, all right, we're all done. And you're like, wait, no, I still hear people. Yeah, the pest control would be like, they go, we can't get all of them.

You know, and then, and then, or maybe they do get them all. And then you just slowly through the night, just hear. Yeah. Yeah. Like grand central station, like start in the morning. And now you're like back to full force. They're right back. Yeah. They're still here. All right. All right. That's it. Oh, go take out, check out our buddy, Mike James.

Very funny comic, Nashville comic. Got the dry bar that just came out. Mike James is so funny. Yeah, the dry bar. I've watched it. It's great. It's so funny. Really great. He got a real standing ovation. A real one. Yeah. All right. Wow. All right. As always, you all have stuff you're going to be... I'm back out on the road with Lee and Morgan this weekend. Fayetteville, North Carolina Thursday, Columbia, South Carolina Friday, and Chattanooga Saturday. I've been to Chattanooga three times in the last three months, all different venues. Wow. That's cool. Wow.

I'm in Memphis, Tennessee tonight at Lafayette's Music Room. And then this weekend, I'm in St. Paul, Minnesota at Laugh Camp Comedy Club. Next weekend, I'm trying to pack out the small room at Cap City in Austin, Texas. Thanksgiving weekend, I'll be at Cap City Comedy Club.

Come on out. Cap City's great. All right. I'll be at the Houston Improv Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And then Tuesday, the 22nd, I have a show at Zany's in Nashville. So I'm finally going back to Houston. My show's got canceled because of COVID. I'm finally rescheduled. I'm pumped to go back. It's going to be great. Houston Improv's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I'm out. I'm out everywhere. Just go to the website. Pennsylvania, Ithaca this week. Pennsylvania, Chicago.

Philly, Roanoke, Asheville, and it's all, yeah, it's all up there. So, all right. As always, we love you, everybody. Have a great day, week, all this stuff. All right. Bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media.

Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land podcast.