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Hello folks, and hey bear. Join as always, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay. All right. For 130 plus episodes, I've dreamed of the day when I was calling the shots. Today's that day, folks. It's finally come. We're having a good time now. I wanted to sit in this chair, Laura wouldn't let me. Dusty grabbed it. I found, yeah, I got a good angle, you know. This angle's been waiting on me for a while.

A lot of people are probably thinking, all right, Derek was on last week, start the show. Nate, come on in. Nate's not coming. Nate's not here. As you know, his special came out this week. It did not go as well as we'd hoped. Nate's missing. We don't know where he is. There was a podcast we did a while back where there was a mention of playing a video game where you have to defeat the final boss. Right. That's what's happened.

And the boss has been defeated. By who? You? I'd say. There was also an episode before you came on board where we did an AI story where I killed Nate with a lamp. That's right. So we don't know where Nate is. Police have questioned me. I was the last one seen with him. But we don't know where he's at. No. Nate is at Pebble Beach. Oh, wow. Big time.

Yeah, playing golf with celebrities. I don't even know anything about golf, but I know Pebble Beach. You do? Yes. I've heard it before. Do you know where it is? No idea. I imagine Florida. If I had to guess, I would say it's in Florida. No, it's not. But. It's in California. California. That'd be the second guess. That'd be the second guess. Yeah. He's playing AT&T Pro-Am. Do we know who he's playing with yet?

Do you know? No. Laura says she doesn't. You know what? Let's not just talk about Nate the whole time while he's not here, you know? Well, we miss him. Already. We already feel his absence. Well, my biggest worry is that we're going to read comments here, and it's all well and good, but next week there'll be comments about this podcast. Oh, gosh. Hundreds. But you know the silver lining of that is I'm not going to look at any of them. You know who does have to look at all of them?

Brian. Yeah. So you have fun sifting through those, Brian. Are you going to wear the sunglasses the whole time? Oh, man. I forgot I was wearing them, to be honest with you. It looks cool. Thank you, man. I love the freedom of – I was talking about this downstairs. I love the freedom of sunglasses. Yeah. Y'all don't know where I'm looking at right now. I'm not looking in the eyes. You know, I'm like a poker player. I think it looks cool. I mean, it feels like you're about to DJ. Yeah.

You're about to play some songs for us. So you're on the beach and the ladies are out there. You like to sing. They don't know where they're looking. No, I don't do it in a creepy way. I don't do it in a creepy way. I just, you know, eye contact can be awkward sometimes. I'm not used to looking across the table and seeing Dusty. You might want to take a nap mid-podcast. I might do it. I might do it.

So Nate's special did come out. Let's see. We're recording this on Monday. It comes out tomorrow, but it'll be out. I've seen it. You were there live. Right. Telling people enough. Yeah. Dusty, you haven't had a chance. I have not had a chance. Dusty's never seen Nate do comedy. Yeah.

That's probably true. Dusty will text me like, what's all this dead horse stuff everybody's talking about? That's just one of Nate's iconic bits. Well, I'll read comments and it'll make me mad. I'm like, what are they talking about? Yeah. I've seen it. I...

I think it's the best one yet. Oh, yeah. I was partial to Tennessee Kid because I was there for a lot of that. I was there when the dead horse happened and not right near. And I love Tennessee Kid. But this one's so good. And I think it's going to be his best one yet. Yeah, it's going to be huge, I think. Yeah. And you were there. I mean... I was there. It was great. It was great. I said that, yeah, it's his best hour, I think, for sure. Yeah. So it's on...

Almost at Apple Plus. It's on Amazon Prime. Amazon Prime. Amazon Prime. Big time. So here it is. So that's great. So this is where we do. Where are we going? Where we've been? Yeah. Yeah. Where we've been. Where we're going. Yeah. Well...

You want to go first? We don't know how the order goes. This is like a first date. Yeah, I know. Should we get appetizers? Where you been, Dusty? I went to Grand Rapids, Michigan. Well, since I was here last, I mean, I went to Mobile, Alabama. I went to Baton Rouge, Louisiana, Lafayette, and New Orleans. All great. You visited your family, too. Yeah, I visited my family. Wonderful time. It was great. Amazing. And then I went to Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Where I sold out six shows. Five shows. Five shows. And it was amazing. It was great. We had a great time. Very cold. Happy to be back. Someone bought, a girl bought a shirt from me. She got in the merch line. Bought it. She had a lot of trouble figuring out Venmo. But she eventually bought a shirt for me. And then she went to the other comic and asked him if I was Hardy. The musician. So I don't think she was even at the show. I refunded her money.

You rated? I did the next day. I felt so bad. She was pretty drunk, but I assumed she was at the show.

And so I refunded the money because I was like, I feel bad. I feel because she was like, she couldn't figure out Venmo. Yeah. She handed me her phone to charge her for the shirt. And then she thought I was someone completely different. So I gave her money. So does she think she was buying shirts from Hardy? I guess so. He just happened to have a pop-up shop. Yeah. Outside of comedy club. Yeah. I guess she thinks that Hardy is, you know, less famous than he is and he's doing his own merch out. That night you were driving back to the hotel and she's out in the street and

She gets in the truck with you. Yeah, and then I drive to her boyfriend's house, and now I'm in prison. Okay.

It's a heartwarming story. Congrats on selling out those shows, man. Yeah, it was great. I feel like I'll stop talking about selling out shows when it becomes so normal that it just happens all the time. But now it's not that normal. 2023 has been a good year so far. I sold out a mobile show with Louis C.K. a block away. Wow. Yeah. And those shows were amazing. All great. I mean, it's been hot out here. And did your dad and your daughter, did she cry? No.

When she saw him? I don't, I don't, I don't know who, I don't, I don't get that. Last time. I don't, I don't know the reference. Seems like a Barbara Walters interview. The last time you said you're going to Alabama for those shows, you're going to see your family and your dad.

You told the whole story about how your wife was a hoe. Oh, yes. That's a tough one for us to not get the reference to. Did your daughter cry this weekend? Well, I was only there for a day, right? So my dad came to meet us for dinner, and my daughter passed out in the car on the way there and slept through almost the whole meal. Oh, okay. She stayed in the car while y'all ate? Yeah. I mean, I was like, she's fine. Wait in the truck. No.

I carried her, and she just kept sleeping. Okay. In the booth. All right. That's good. With us. That's best case scenario, huh? Yeah, so it was good. My younger sister got married yesterday and did not invite me for the second time. This is our second marriage, and she's failed to invite me to both weddings. Well, you got to be glad, right?

Well, I wouldn't have been able to go. She got married on Sunday. I was out of town. You still want the invite, though, right? It would be nice to have someone go, hey, I'm getting, I would send them a gift if they would invite me. Well, have you been around for their relationship at all? They got engaged at my house. Really? Yeah. He proposed to her in my, in the room I do a podcast in. Whoa. That was the guest room, but they were sleeping in there on an air mattress. And he just popped the question right then? Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, he didn't do it in front of me, but they came down and let us know it had happened. Guys, big news. Yeah, big news. Got engaged at your house.

I'll see you at the divorce, I guess. You'll get invited to that. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, I mean, so this is number two. I'm sorry about that, man. Well, you know, it's okay. I mean, honestly, it's more funny to me that she didn't invite me. Yeah, it is. You know, at my childhood church they got married in.

And my dad was like, well, I don't think anybody knew about it, but his parents came. And he doesn't normally go to that church. Somebody made him a cake. Well, she'd invited you when you'd been like, doesn't she know I do comedy? I'm on the road. Well, no, I would have said, hey, congratulations. And then I would have sent her a gift. Hmm. Well, you lucked out. Yeah.

Well, I was in Waukesha, Wisconsin. Waukesha. This weekend and did a show at Fox River Christian Church. They had over a thousand people there. Whoa. And they had a pretty major snowstorm by our standards. Yeah. Not probably by their standards. And it snowed the whole time we were there.

And almost no one did not come. I mean, it just didn't deter these people at all. Wow, that's amazing. No, they come right out in it. I mean, Michigan was very snowy. And yeah, it was, I mean...

Pretty treacherous, just us getting back to our hotel. And then I thought, there's no way my flight's getting out tomorrow morning. I had a 6.15 flight yesterday morning. No problems. I saw you had Johnny W. cleaning off your windshield. And it was like, you were being pretty funny about it, but when you could see his face on the outside, he looked like, I wish I had a little bit of help here. Yeah, he looked pretty miserable, didn't he? Yeah. He was struggling. It was cold out there. Yeah.

But what are you going to do? You only have one scraper. Well, that's what I said. It's like I could stand out here and just be cold too. Yeah, I could be supportive. I could be in here making a video. Is this where someone gave you this clock? Oh, yes. Waukesha, Wisconsin. Look at that. Yes. I talked about this. I used to have a Hulk Hogan alarm clock. Yep. Now I do again. And now... Thank you. That sounded insincere. No, I do. I'm very happy about it. I am very happy. This was back when...

When WWE was still WWF. Yeah. Oh, man. Before they lost to the World Wildlife Federation. I know. I don't know how that even happened. Yeah, I gave that to Dusty. He immediately looked up how much it's worth on eBay. Well, I did. Well, I didn't look it up, but I did question it because I thought, well, this is such a nice gift. I bet whoever gave this to me could have made some money off eBay. Did y'all see that? Good.

Yeah, I think it's... I want it to stay. Okay, I feel like this is... Now you're like, this is... What's that show where they show a lot of things that they're selling? The Price is Right? No, no, no. It'll be like jewelry and... Oh, Hope Shopping? QVC. QVC, yeah. There you go. You're like, did you see it good? I'm trying to sell this thing. You think you'd be good at that? I was reading a story about Mike Rowe. That's how he started.

You know Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs? Yeah. He started on those home shopping networks. And I read a whole thing he wrote about the interview is he walked in and they just gave him a pencil and they said, just talk about this.

Talk about this as if we're selling this on the network. And he just killed it. You think you'd be good at that? I think so. I've had people at the restaurant that I worked at do that to me. They go, sell me this fish. You know, like people, like my boss. Oh, gosh. And I'm like, oh, well, this is awkward. I mean, I can sell it to the table, but I can't under pressure sell it to my boss here. Okay.

You know what I mean? I was about to ask you to do the exact same thing. Send me that coffee cup, dude. Well, you know, the way I sell merch is I, you know, I tell people I got the merch. You don't have to buy it. Thank you for coming. Don't feel awkward about it, but they are very comfortable. So I encourage you, even if you don't want to buy it, just come by and just touch it. And touch it. Just touch it. Just feel the shirt. And that'll be enough. You'll convert them right then and there. You'll be like, wow, this is, I say, hey, don't, you know, if you ask me, should I buy this? I'll tell you now.

That's an interesting strategy. But it's top quality stuff here. I don't know why you wouldn't want it. Hardy's got some nice shirts. Yes. Yes. Hardy sells the best. You know they said about the Apple stores.

The stores where, you know, you've seen like the Genius Bars. There's those big open stores. What they'll do is they'll deliberately leave their laptop a little too closed like this. Yeah. So that when you walk up to it to look at it, you have to adjust it and touch it, forcing you to feel the quality of the product. A MacBook does have a feel to it, doesn't it? Yeah. When I pull it out of my bag on an airplane, I'm like, this is cool. Yeah, it looks nice. I'm like, wow, I am fancy. Look at me. What?

Look at me on the airplane. Look at my laptop. I'm doing a spreadsheet, man. Are you doing spreadsheets? I don't even know how to do it, but I want to. Got satellites going. Yeah. But do you do that? I've heard a guy who was here and talk. A comedian said, when you have your merch set up, you don't want to put the piles. Don't want to be too neat on the table.

Because that will discourage people from grabbing it and looking at it. You want it to be a little, a little scruffed up so people are more comfortable. I don't, I like to sell right out of the bag and I don't like people grabbing my shirts because I know how they're all lined up. I don't mind them touching it, but don't dig through there because I got, I know where everything's at. They put the shirt sizes very tiny. It's so small. And I know where it's all at, but they'll dig through there and I'm like, what do you want? I'll find it for you. Okay.

You do the exact opposite of everything I've been told how to do. That's pretty much my life. But it's working all right for you. Yeah. Yeah. I get pretty upset with people in the merch line sometimes. I don't yell at them, but I'm like, just hold on. It goes, it changes quick. Yeah.

All right, so I was in Waukesha, but the week before, I had something kind of crazy. I did a show at the Jackson Country Club in Jackson, Tennessee. Oh. And driving down I-40 there, I took Eddie Cisneros, local comic you guys know. Yeah, I know Eddie. He opened it for me. We're having a great time talking, living it up. Eddie is a good person. He is a good person. That's his Instagram. Yeah. And-

And we're about halfway there, and we're just talking out of nowhere. I'm driving. He's in the passenger seat. My passenger side window just completely shatters. Oh, geez. Just... Maybe not such a good person. I don't think Eddie did it. Sounds like he did. Well, I don't know. But, I mean, he was like, whoa! And then it just glass flying, and...

Thankfully, he wasn't hurt. I pull over on the side of the interstate. My window is just completely shattered. Glass everywhere. Still don't know what caused it. I have no idea. But we're halfway to Jackson. We're kind of just stunned. I don't know what just happened there. Eddie gets in the back seat.

Right behind me the rest of the way. So more glass that flies. So then we just start down the interstate. Now he's just right behind me. And pretty quick, we're like, this is way too cold and way too loud. So I pull over again. I get a blanket out of my trunk and kind of put it over that. I love that you have a blanket in your trunk. Yeah, for emergencies. Yeah. Like this. Yeah. Yeah.

So we get the rest of the way to Jackson and then we tell him at the country club what happened. So the guy who works there said, well, I'm going to get a trash bag and some painter's tape and I'll fix this up. So he goes out there very nice and he puts his trash bag on it and drive home. Eddie still sits behind me.

And let me tell you something, a trash bag flapping in the wind 80 miles an hour down there. It was the loudest thing I've ever heard in my life. Yeah, you're like, get the blanket back up there. Well, it finally did. About halfway home, it was starting to come loose. It was rattling so loud that we're like, this is unbearable. So we just tore it off and put the blanket back up there. And half the cars in Jackson, Tennessee are already like that. Yeah.

Yeah, that guy had trash bag ready to go. Like, oh, that guy's from here. Yeah. Well, I pull up at this country club. I got my opener in my backseat behind me. I got a giant blanket over my window, and everyone's just standing. Like, I think that's the guy who's performing tonight. They're like, dang, he needs the money. Yeah. Let's pass a hat around. Yeah. I feel happy we hired this guy. What happened to the window? Did you ever figure it out? No. It just spontaneously combusts.

Maybe, I don't know. I didn't hear anything hit it. I blame Eddie. I never heard anything like that in my life. Me either. So then I went to, my insurance said, well, go to SafeLite. SafeLite Repair. SafeLite Replace. There it is. What did they do here, repair or replace? Well, there's no repairing. It's gone.

And so they said, we can get you in. This was last week, by the way, February 1st. Oh, boy. And I said, well, I can't go that long. They said, well, come on down here. Well, the insurance said they could put a crash wrap on it today, just temporary. I said, okay. So I go down there and said, I need this crash wrap. And they go and do it, and they put it, you know. And I head home, again, on the interstate. About halfway home, it just comes off.

So I'm like, I don't know if I wasn't supposed to be driving fast with this thing on. So ever since then, I've been avoiding the interstates. I had to drive to East Nashville. It took me 45 minutes to get over there because I'm taking back roads. Just to not drive fast enough to where. Yeah, where the wind catches it. Wow. So I'm in my wife's car today. Well, I mean, good luck to you. I would just roll down the windows. I would just ride with the windows down from now on. Well, I do when convenient. Arm hanging out. Yeah.

The problem is when it rains, I need something over it. Yeah. And if I take that crash wrap off. And it rains every day here. Yeah. Well, you probably don't like driving in the rain anyway, right? I don't drive at night. Easy for the squirrels to get right in the car now. Well, it would be if I rolled the windows down like you suggested. But you have one down.

No, it's got a crash wrap over it now. I'm just avoiding it coming out. I went back and had them do it again. We get another one of them crash wraps. And they were mad I was back. I went in there and I said, that crash wrap you put on, it didn't even make it on the way home. They didn't say, oh, I'm so sorry about that. They're like, fill this out. Like this guy. This guy's back.

Yeah, they don't do a good crash rap, apparently. Maybe all the time you spend putting the crash rap out, maybe just go ahead and put a window in. Are you saying that to me? No, I'm talking about them. I think you're all a little bit to blame. Yeah.

What did I do? I don't know. I hit a deer in my truck in early November, and I just took it today to get fixed. That's how long it's been taking. Well, that was definitely your fault. Yeah. You're supposed to be looking out for deer. Still blood all over his windshield. Yeah. He's been driving around with it. Antlers hanging out. I was like, can we leave the antlers?

That'll look pretty cool. Yeah. How'd you get here today? Aaron drove me. I shattered his passenger side window on the way. All right. All right. Sorry. I jumped the gun. Yep. Got a little too excited. All right. I don't need to do one of those yet. Okay. So where were you this? Well, I was in Florida last weekend.

And then I was in Raleigh this past weekend, had a great time, sold out three or four shows. Not all the shows like Dusty, but I'm getting there. Yeah. The room's also a third of the size of the ones Dusty's doing, but.

It was fun. It doesn't matter. It also helps that Dave Attell was in the main room. He sold out all his shows. So I had a lot of people. Well, we want to see some comedy. I had a lot of people go, I couldn't get tickets to Dave. I'll check out this guy. And it was at least a third of good of a show. Yeah, I think so. I tried to get it there. You talking about this just made me think I had a plumbing problem at my house.

This was last week. And my wife was in the shower upstairs and it's just, what's up? I just wanted you to elaborate on the plumbing problem, but that's what you're about to do. Because you just said I had a plumbing problem and I'm like, what kind of plumbing problem? I'm going to get into it. Okay. All right. Okay. My wall, just a leak. My wall's bleeding water downstairs, just soaking through the wall. It's just soaking wet. And so I call a plumber and they go, yeah, we'll get out. We'll get out there. We'll get out there tomorrow.

You know, between 8 and 2 p.m. or something. So I just wait. And they finally get there. But by the time the plumber got there, the leak had stopped in the wall, right? And I can tell this guy. Now I'm trying to convince the guy that there was actually a leak because the guy doesn't seem to believe me.

That there was a leak in this wall. And you can't replicate it. I can't replicate it. I tried turning on the shower again. I can't replicate it. So this guy thinks you're just hallucinating leaks in the house. Well, I was like, do you think I just wanted to hang out with you at the house? Man, I paid you $109 to come out here and look, and he can't find it. So he's like, all right, well, let's cut a hole in the drywall real quick, and let's take a look. And I legit, like, I know drywall is a type of wall. Mm-hmm.

But in the moment, I was like, this guy's mocking me still. He's like, let's cut a hole in this dry wall. I was like, dude, it was so wet yesterday. Yeah, it's dry now. Yeah, it's dry now, but it was soaking wet yesterday. So he cuts this huge square of my wall, and he just looks in, and he's like, yeah, I don't see anything, man. Give me a call if it starts leaking again. And I go, well, can you put my wall back together? And he's like, well...

He said, we want to be able to keep an eye on it, so let's just leave the hole open. So there's, you know, it was a week ago. There's still a huge hole in my wall. So no more leak, though? No more leak. I don't know what happened. I don't know. It'll probably happen again at some point. Was it raining when it happened? It wasn't raining. I tried a lot of things. Were you in there a long time? Like where maybe just. How long of showers has Lucy taken? Oh, it was Lucy. Yeah, it was Lucy in there. It was pretty long.

You think it would start leaking after a certain time? Like it just gets tired of it? I don't know. I mean, you know, because- What's she doing in there? I don't know. My roof leaked one time. The snow piled up and pushed up the shingles. And then once it pushed it up, it started to melt. Okay. And then there's nothing wrong with my roof, but it leaked and then woke my wife up dripping on her head. So I woke up and there's water coming out of the ceiling. Okay. Okay.

So you didn't have to fix anything. It was just a freak. No, I went up there and I put a little pot under the part where it was leaking. Then I had a roofer come out and he said, it's fine. Okay. Well, that guy just, yeah. Well, I wish he would fix the hole in my wall because I don't even know how to start doing that.

Just a big hole in my wall. Yeah. That's too bad. Yeah, that's all right. Yeah, so when he said, let me cut through this wall, you didn't say, well, what's the, are you going to be able to fix it back? Well, I assumed. I assumed. I can't believe he cut a hole in your wall and then left. He goes, I don't see anything, dude. I'm going to get out of here. He didn't even like, it was a mess, too. It was just like stuff everywhere. He goes, well, we won't be able to keep an eye on it so you can see if it leaks again.

You're like, I could see it through the wall. Yeah, it was bleeding through. It's soaking wet. There's no stains? No, it's like a white plaster kind of drywall. But no water stains at all? No, not really. That's bizarre. I mean, I know it was there. I believe in my heart of hearts I saw it. But this guy didn't believe me.

But anyway, that's what I've been dealing with. Wow, that's bizarre. I also had another problem where all the power shut off in my house, and the electrician comes, and he goes, well, you can't. He's like, the way this house is wired, you can't have your computer on downstairs and the microwave on at the same time. What? The microwave upstairs. He said that...

He said, this outlet and the outlet in the kitchen, for some reason, are tied together. So you can't, if the microwave's running, you got to unplug your computer downstairs. And let me tell you, that's a big problem in my life right now. You're in the middle of something, Lucy. That's what I'm saying. Put the hot pocket in. Popcorn starts going. You're like, oh, God. I lost Wi-Fi. So it just trips the breaker? For the whole house. It'll shut down. Wow. Yeah.

There's a lot going on at this house. It sounds haunted. It was just the guys looking at it. He's like, whoever put this together is an idiot. He goes, I'll just be straight up with you. Whoever put this together didn't know what the heck they were doing. You're like, can I talk to you about some plumbing stuff? Got some plumbing issues going on here too. Fixed drywall. Yeah. I go, yeah, maybe let's, maybe you fix that wall. Maybe all this light stuff will get figured out. So you have to yell up, Lucy, I want to send an email. Turn off the microwave.

Well, now I just leave both of them unplugged. And now if you want to plug in the microwave, you have to... Yeah, just stop using the microwave. That's what I... That would be the best solution. Oh, that would be how you'd prefer I handle this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, maybe that's God is like, hey, stop using this microwave. Okay. Do you want to be productive? I'll think... Microwave is a pretty big part of my life right now. Yeah. I don't know if you know that. The oven is great. Well, the oven, you gotta... It takes 45 minutes to heat up. Takes a little longer, but... Takes a little longer. Yeah. But I need...

To eat now. Yeah. Urgency. Immediacy. Yeah. You can put it in the pan, too. You can also pan fry that. You got to clean a pan up. Yeah. I like to use the same pan over and over again. You don't clean it at all? Yeah. Wipe it out with a paper towel. Put it back on the stove. I don't think my wife cares for it. Build a little patina on there. Yeah. I don't know what that is, but. I don't know what that is either. Little patina. Patina is what you call it on a gun.

What? It's like if an old gun. There's a little like, not rust, but just like stuff that like it's discoloration. Yeah, a little patina. Okay.

Huh. Yeah. All right. Never heard that. No. I hadn't either, but I know what you're talking about. Like the old West, they always had a little, little. I'm fairly familiar with guns and not heard patina. Patina. It's like a little, it sounds a little like poutine that you would get in Canada. I think I'm spelling patina wrong. Cause I just Googled it and said, it's an Italian goat meat. Yeah. Yeah. And poutine is like a gravy over fries. Yeah. That's poutine. Yeah.

Your gun's natural. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is patina. This is what it looks like. Take a look. See all this? It looks kind of old. That's what patina is, a little growth. Yeah, I like a little of that on the pan. I like to add a little patina to my palate. Yeah. You were at Disney World, too. I was. No, Universal Studios, not Disney. I'm not some nerd. Oh, my bad. You went to Harry Potter Experience. I went to the Harry Potter's Wizarding World. Oh, yeah. How was that? It was a lot of...

No. Oh, no. Let me ask you this. Was the wild stuff going on at your house prior to you going to Harry Potter Sorceress? You know what? I picked up a little something. Brought it home with you. Yeah. Put it in that pocket. Yeah. Now your house is falling apart. This all predates Harry Potter world, unfortunately. I'm sure you would have loved if that were the case. But no, I didn't bring anything home, I think. Okay. Yeah.

I saged a little bit. I got rid of some stuff before I left, but I had a good time, man. It's pretty cool. It's an immersive experience. You step into the Harry Potter world. My favorite part, though, and I said this on stage when I was there, is that a lot of the employees at Harry Potter World are supposed to be people from Harry Potter. They're supposed to be like, I don't know, the train conductor or whatever. But they didn't ship in.

British actors to work at Universal Studios. It's just people that live in Orlando, Florida, and they don't even try to get in character. They're like, all aboard. Well, it's just like a Latino woman with a wand going, keep the line moving, please. Keep the line moving. I'm like, which book are you from? It was so much fun, dude. And I'm the only guy there without kids. Fair enough.

I felt like a nerd, but I had a good time. You were the only guy there without kids? Well, there's a couple guys walking around. They're called cops. In the Harry Potter world, I would think you would get all cons. No, it's a lot of families with small children. Yeah.

A lot of families exposing their kids to sorcery. Witchcraft. Families giving their kids wands and telling them to cast spells and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they also, I think they know that it's true. Next generation's going to be wild. I mean. But my generation's the generation that grew up with that already. Yeah, I know. So if there were to...

Yeah, I can tell. Yeah. Yeah, I can tell. Got problems at your house now. But there's a lot of weird stuff going on. I mean, Harry Potter's probably the least of their problems. You got Dr. Seuss Village and it's all the superhero stuff's going on. Oh, yeah. A lot of that. I like Dr. Seuss, though. I'm a big fan of Dr. Seuss. You don't think that's as weird as Harry Potter? It's weird, but it's not witchcraft-y.

Okay. Now, I haven't read the Harry Potters, but you told me recently that J.K. Rowling was a Christian and that if you read the Bible, you knew how Harry Potter went. That's what she said. Okay. She said that. All right. She said, because people are asking how the book ended. She said, if you've read the Bible, you already know how it ends. So Harry Potter comes back.

Yeah, he does, actually. Oh, okay. I hate to ruin the book. I've already ruined this stuff for listeners before. I didn't know he even went away, but. Well, he dies. Him and Voldemort kind of kill each other, and then they come back, and then he kills them once and for all. I had no idea. Anyway. That's cool. Well, thanks. You want to do that first ad? Yeah. Love that.

All right, you want to get into some of these comments? Yeah, let's get into some comments. Who's reading them today? Dusty? Yeah, I wanted to. Again, Laura said no. Okay, well, you know, the interesting thing here is everybody makes fun of Nate reading, but now you'll realize that I also can't read. Okay. Melissa Sedlak. I play trivia with a team that includes my mom, my brother, and some friends. Ooh, family feud. Okay.

You can imagine my excitement when the trivia host asked a question about zip codes since I had just listened to the mail episode. However, in true Nateland fashion, I still missed the question. I know something about that. I don't know. Well, you know, trivia is deceiving like that. I was a trivia host for a long time and people thought, oh, you must be the best at trivia, but...

Trivia is wild. I don't know who knows these things. Where would you get the questions from? Someone would email. It was a company. Okay. So they would send me the questions. So bars would contract out

To a trivia company. Yeah. And then they hired you to host? Yeah. Okay. I would come out. It was a lot of fun. Was that before you were doing stand-up? I was doing it at the same time. Okay. But not professionally. But you'd sprinkle in a little humor. Yeah, I would try to do jokes. And it's really a good way to get used to people talking without anybody caring what you're saying.

Because people would yell at me. They would say, read a book. Because I couldn't read. Or they would go, quit drinking. Stuff like that. And I was like, no, that's why I'm doing this. I had a lady one time, she goes, it was a medical question. And she brings it and she sets it down. She goes, no.

This is right, and I know because he's a doctor. And points back to a guy at her table. And then it was wrong. And then she got really mad at me, and she goes, are you a doctor? And I'm like, well, clearly not. I'm hosting trivia at a burrito restaurant.

Also, if your husband was a good doctor, he wouldn't be here right now. Yes, exactly. At a burrito restaurant. But you do love giving us medical advice. Well, you have to say it's not medical advice. It's medical, you know. Suggestions. Yeah, suggestions. Yeah, I do love that. All right, Derek Cochran. Many years ago, I had a friend in prison. Oh, boy. To mail me letters, he would put my address in the sender's area and an incorrect address to where it was going. Okay.

He then would drop it in the mail with the correct amount or no postage. Incorrect amount. Oh, the incorrect amount. Yes. Really changes the whole sentence, doesn't it? He would drop it in the mail with the incorrect amount or no postage. The post office would see it didn't have any postage, so they would send it back to the sender, which would come to me. So pretty much he was mailing letters to me at no cost.

That was the big scam we did back when I was a kid. We would send someone a letter. We would just flip it, just reverse it, and then it would just go to that person. Pretty interesting that this friend is in prison and then ripping off the post office from prison. Those are the people who know how to do it. Yeah.

I mean, maybe not learning a lesson there in prison. Do they not give him any money to mail a letter? Well, I don't think this guy's in prison for mail fraud. Maybe he is. This might be one of the better things he's doing. But you don't get any money in prison. I mean, my friend used to mail me letters. This was jail, not prison. Yeah. You do get paid in prison for your work, but it's not a lot. Yeah, you don't have an unlimited amount. And these stamps...

Stamp costs are pretty crazy these days. What is it, 82 cents? 82 cents. 63 cents. 63 cents, yeah. Do you really know the exact? Well, we just did the mail episode. We talked about it. It went from 60 to 63. Oh, okay. It just went up. You have a way better memory about other- Because I do all the work. So, I mean, why wouldn't I? Yeah.

I would dominate trivia night. Nate land trivia night. All right. Jeremy fells. Ooh. With the NFL playoffs upon us, I find myself getting into heated arguments at work as a result of my belief that the NFL is scripted slash rigged like professional wrestling. Way to go, dude. Does dusty have any tips for rename remaining calm when trying to express wild ideas with his unbelieving friends? Well,

There's not a lot you can do. I mean, people are ready to freak out on here. They don't want their beliefs challenged. They like to believe that they got good old NFL football. Listen, I watch NFL football and the whole time I love it. The whole time I go, this is rigged the whole time. Every like last night I was watching, I watched as the, um,

Bengals. Bengals and the... Bengals, sorry. Bengals. Bengals and the Chiefs were playing. And they had one third down play where they were like, oh, we need to reset the clock. And then they ran the third down play, didn't get the first down. And then the refs go, oh, we didn't get the clock right. So now it's fourth down. They go, we didn't get the clock right. We're going to need to redo the third down. And it's like, what is that? Well, where's the line between the game being rigged and the officials are just bad?

That was one of the worst officiated games ever, that game last night. Well, that's what I'm saying. I think the game is rigged through the officials.

Okay. They make bad calls where they go, oh, just a bad call. And then they have their little in-studio referee going, actually, this is a pretty good call, guys. I feel like you have such faith in humanity that we're that smart that we can pull off all this elaborate stuff. Well, it's like you just have the referees and you're like, hey, do this. And then they're like, and they pay them well. But to flip a game, like-

That takes so much. I just don't think they have the ability to necessarily flip it, but they sway it. So I don't think it could be scripted like professional wrestling, but you make enough bad calls to ruin the momentum. Because then immediately after that call, there was a pass interference call that was very weak, and it kept moving it along. So do you think somebody... Let's talk about how this would work. Somebody from the NFL concludes...

that the Chiefs advancing to the Super Bowl would be good for the NFL. It'd make them more money. For whatever reason, yeah. It'd be a better story. It would drive ratings up, whatever. So they talk to the referees and they say, if there are opportunities, if there are any 50-50 calls...

Make it lean towards the Chiefs. Mahomes is their guy, right? I mean, Mahomes is great, incredible to watch. You're saying he's the NFL's guy. Yeah. He's the face of the sport. Yeah. I mean, when I was watching, when him and Brady played in the Super Bowl where Brady won, they were talking more about how they were like, oh, it's great. We're witnessing one of the greatest of all time and then one of the next greatest of all time. I mean, they would not stop. And Mahomes is incredible. I mean, the guy is unbelievable to watch. But-

Even last night, they were like, he's one of the all-time greats at such a young age. And it's like, how can you be one of the all-time greats? I mean, you're like, obviously very good, but let's see where it goes. Now, Brian, you're not into this, are you? No. I mean, well, so the Bengals had beaten the Chiefs the last three times they played. Yeah. So why didn't they do it then?

I don't know. I mean, I don't know why they're doing what they're doing, but you know, you know, you know, there's so much betting. That's what happened to boxing, right? That was so easy to rig a boxing match that, you know, the betting would get so, and then it's like, all right, you go down in this, in this inning. So, or whatever round. I mean, I guess if you're talking about point spread shaving or something like that, then maybe official, because that has happened with, there was an NBA referee that was doing some stuff, but to flip a game,

No, I just feel like that's just so much would have to happen. I just think that, yeah, I mean, you can make a bad call. A bad pass interference call gives another team a first down, and then the momentum is in their favor. Now, there are, I mean, a few years ago, it was the Vikings and the Saints and the playoffs where that pass interference call that, I mean, that really, really swayed that game.

But again – I don't think that they're necessarily being like, all right, we got to have Mahomes win. We got to have the Chiefs win. But it's like, would it be better for them? Is the Super Bowl better if it's the Chiefs versus the – whoever the other team is that – Eagles. Eagles, yeah. Is that a better game? Yeah, I don't even know why it would be. Yeah.

I predict the Eagles all the way. See that? Hey, Jeremy, that was a masterclass on how to stay calm. Did you hear that? Yeah. Brian challenging Dusty every step of the way and Dusty remained calm. Yeah. The thing that I think is important is just at the end of the day, you just go, you just don't get mad. You don't ever try to convince people of what you believe. You just tell them and then don't try to make them believe it. Otherwise. Let them do their own research. Yeah.

Or let them believe whatever they want to believe. It doesn't matter. Or just really vet somebody before you get into it with them. Yeah, because if you're at work, if you're working, you know, because I've had a lot of football discussions as a pesticide salesman, and it's different depending on the job. I mean, you could be in a Lowe's where people, they're in love with football and they don't want to hear it.

You ever see people back in the day get mad about finding out professional wrestling was fake? I mean, it breaks their heart. They don't want to hear it. So don't bring it up.

Okay. All right. That was fun. Yeah. Josh Foot. Aaron claiming that God isn't with the boys in Ann Arbor is comical since Notre Dame stopped the rivalry series. I don't blame them, though. P.S. Rudy was offsides. Ooh. He might have been offsides, but the game was already won by that point, so.

We also don't like Rudy that much, Notre Dame fans. We like the movie, not the guy. Yeah, I was going to ask, is that your favorite sports movie? I think it's... I mean, it's...

It's not unreasonable to say it's a top five sports movie of all time, right? It's on your Mount Rushmore. It's on my Mount Rushmore sports movies. That's for sure. What are your... It's a great movie, but Rudy's out of control in that movie. What do you mean? Like he's showing up. I'm going to play for the team. I'm going to play for... They would be like, listen, guy. Uh-huh. Let's let you see a doctor. Yeah, if you were on the...

Nowadays, they're like, let's see. Let's get this guy a therapist. This guy thinks he's on the team. He doesn't even go to school here. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty crazy. It's got to be Rudy. Yeah. I put. Oh, you're ranking them. No, no, not right. Mount Rushmore. They're not ranked on Mount Rushmore, are they? No, but you started this. So I thought, Dix, you're going to do this. Well, the next one I was going to go to the right. Okay. Like Mount Rushmore. I bet. Rudy. Yeah.

Moneyball. I've never seen Moneyball. I'll have to check it out. I think that's the only two up there right now.

Waiting on the next. Remember the Titans? I can't stand remember the Titans now. I've not seen it in a long time. It's one of those where you watch it as an adult and you're like, oh God, it's so cheesy. It's so corny. They got a lot like they manipulated the facts of it in such a way that it's pretty annoying to me now. Yeah. You have a joke about it. Yeah. I used to do a whole bit about how every team they played had black and white players.

Oh, yeah. And that's the whole point of the movie is they're the only racially integrated team. So Disney resegregated the Virginia public school system for a film, which is pretty messed up when you think about it. That is pretty messed up. And then didn't you say the guy that has the car accident? The guy gets paralyzed, Gary Bertier, who was committed to Notre Dame, by the way, number one defensive recruit in the country that year. He got paralyzed after the season ended.

But they paralyzed him early. Of course. They're like, well, let's put it before the big game. Now it matters, right? So then you do stuff like that. I understand you have to change the story to make it work for a movie. But once you read the real story, it's really disheartening. I'm told there was a movie about a runaway train.

Where this movie, they're like, the train's going like 100 miles an hour. They're struggling to stop it. And it's based off a true story. But the real story, I'm told, was that the train was like a runaway train, but going very slow. And to actually stop it, they just had to run up, jump in there, and shut it down. Right.

So there was a runaway train, but it was just, they just manipulated it. It was just like they left it neutral. Yeah. Somebody get that.

I just recently watched Rudy again. Yeah. I mean, it would be on my Mount Rushmore as well. Okay. Along with Hoosiers and... Okay. Yeah. Made by the same guy. Oh, is that right? Yeah. Hoosiers made by the same guy that made Rudy. I'm not a big Hoosiers fan, even though I love Gene Hackman. I thought it was good, but a bit dramatic for me. Today's Gene Hackman's birthday. Is it? 93. God, you know me. I met Gene. I'm a big fan. Oh, my God.

Stamps are 63 cents. Went to high school together. They're old pals. Dusty filmed him with his camera. His dad did. That's right. You got that old video of Gene Hackman. I've wanted that to do better every time. I've shared it 40... Well, talk about that. We haven't talked about that on this podcast. Well, you know, on YouTube, I got a video of me meeting Gene Hackman because...

The movie Mississippi Burning was filmed – half of it filmed in my dad's hometown of Lafayette, Alabama. Spelled Lafayette, pronounced Lafayette. And all the downtown scenes took place in Lafayette. So Gene Hackman was down there, and me and my dad and my stepbrothers were going around with a video camera.

And we were, you know, he had the big VHS camera and he kind of bust into this room. He goes, Mr. Hackman, can I get you with my boys? And he's like, yeah, yeah. And he's like, we start to go and he goes, I'll come out. And then he comes out and then he comes out and my dad's like, Gene Hackman. Yeah.

And we're all just kind of standing there, real awkward-like. And then he goes, are you boys ballplayers? And you hear both of my stepbrothers go, yeah, yeah. And then you hear me go, I'm not. And then he just kind of gives me an eyebrow raise. Oh, there he is right there. Yeah. Yeah, I got it. You want to play it? Yeah. How did he get in there? That's the Gene Hackman, y'all. Poor Gene Hackman. I'm over there to the – yeah, there I am.

He gave it. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Yeah, he was like, I thought it was just a picture here. I didn't know this guy was going to film me. Well, that was very nice of him. It was very nice. He gave me a little moment. I've always been a fan of Gene Hackman. But you don't like his most iconic movie ever, huh? I don't know. I mean, I like it, but I just feel like it's, I don't know.

I think that I had seen too many like that by the time I watched it. I like the movie Diggstown. You ever see that boxing movie? Lou Gossett Jr., James Woods? No, never heard of it. It's a good one. Okay. There are movies, well, even Rudy, which I recently watched again. In the time, it wasn't like this, but now there's so many movies that are made fun of, of the wise old black janitor that teaches you, you know,

There's movies that spoof stuff like this now. So now you watch it, you're like, oh, this is kind of cringy. But at the time, there wasn't anything like that. Yeah, but that scene in the tunnel where he's like, you're 100 nothing. You're five foot nothing. 100 nothing. Without a speck of athletic ability. Yes.

And it was like, I was like, man, that's good. It is good. When Rudy sacks the quarterback at the end of the game, there's a quick shot where his dad and brother are in the stands. They're looking different directions, and that's always kind of bothered me. Well, it shows his dad wasn't paying attention. His dad never paid attention. It looks like his brother's maybe not looking the right way. Well, you might have just inadvertently discovered a little Easter egg in the movie. Exactly when that happens, after he makes the sack, Rudy's dad turns around and celebrates with...

The real Rudy is an extra in the movie. He's standing right behind Rudy's dad. Wow. So maybe that's the source of why they're kind of looking different ways. Yeah. Like his brother's kind of looking this way. It looks like his dad's looking this way. I'm like, all right.

There's a part where he turns around and he grabs a guy, and it's the real Rudy. But you don't see that guy's face, do you? You do see his face for a split second. Okay. You know, that's where I think Vince Vaughn's first movie was Rudy. Oh, yeah. That's where he met Jon Favreau. He plays Jamie O'Hara. And that's where they started doing stuff from that movie. All right. Matt Graves. Matt Graves.

As a fellow conspiracy theorist, I can't express how much I love the conversation about sending trash to space. I like that too. I appreciate Dusty's subtle comments of sarcasm just to play along. Knowing full well he doesn't believe we've been to the moon or in space travel or...

Or that space is real, for that matter. Well, there's a lot of assumptions here, but it could be true. But more than that, I love that the rest of you know it and egg him on with your subtle comments, your quiet snickering, and humorous reactions to his antics. Dusty, keep the faith. All right. Well, I appreciate that, Matt Graves.

Yeah. You're not saying that's true, but you're not saying it's not true. Yeah. You know, we're just having a good time out here. I don't feel like I'm egging you on. I feel like Brian does. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I do. Yeah, for sure. Well, if space is real...

Sending trash to space is the answer. That's the move. That is the answer. And you know what? They always say, oh, it's so expensive. But you know what we would do if it were real? We would just build a contraption that gets it to space. Okay. Our own little tower of Babel, but it would be trash. A conveyor belt. We're always just putting it on there and it's just going right up there. Isn't there some talk about building the elevator to space? Yeah, the space elevator. Oh, I can't wait.

Somebody, probably a listener of the podcast. I think we did like a long time ago. A listener of the podcast, I think, sent me a video and it was showing like something about Earth and it shows you and then it zooms out. Yeah. Goes into space and shows all the planets. But it's never a real video of leaving Earth going to space. It doesn't exist. There's no real video. Even the Red Bull or whatever jump that that guy did. Yeah. That's fisheye lens. It's bogus. Yeah.

If a conspiracy theorist were not to believe in space, what would it take?

Well, it would take a lot. I'll be honest. But I'd like to see a video of straight up going into space. And then it's like even the picture on the moon of the Earth, the Earth appears about the same size as the moon is when you're on Earth. But the Earth is much larger than the moon. So if you're on the moon looking at Earth, it should be gigantic. But it's still very small like you're looking at the moon. But it's pretty far away. Yeah.

but it's the same distance as we are from the moon.

I don't know if it is. If you're on the moon looking at Earth. I don't know if it's the same size as how the moon looks on Earth. It's pretty, it's not gigantic. It should be gigantic. Yeah, I see what you're saying. The moon's much smaller than Earth, so it should. Even the landing, when we landed on the moon, apparently there's a video of us landing on the moon. And I'm like, well, they toss a camera out to an alien? Hey, give me a shot of us landing. This is our first time.

Give a shot of us here. I'm just saying. It's sketchy as always. Here's the video of us landing on the moon. Talk about when it comes down. Yeah. A lot of good points, Dusty. Yeah.

A lot of good points. Yeah, I mean, it's sketchy. I mean, people dig into it. They'll go, that Kentucky Farmer guy is correct. All right. D. Marie reasons Aaron would be a good teacher. All right. Number one, he allows students, a.k.a. Brian, to explain a topic such as space and takes over when he says something too wrong like living on the moon. Living on the moon.

Number two, he calls out kids for doing dumb, pointless things, such as waving at penguins. We need more men in the field, and there's a teacher shortage to fall back on in case you get tired of the comedy grind. All right. So if you ever get tired of, you know, standing up in front of people and bringing them joy, become a teacher and get yelled at and potentially stabbed. All right.

Well, all right. Teaching's hard. I mean, I give it up to teachers. I mean, it is hard. Yeah. I mean, I was not, I mean, I was a good student, but I caught, you know, I was so mouthy. I always had to make a joke. And it just seems like I would not want to be my teacher. And I think kids are much worse than me. Oh, yeah. Did you get in trouble a lot in school? Not in trouble. I did some, you know, I would get, I was just a talker. You know, I always had to say something.

So I didn't like... Were you getting laughs? I was getting laughs. In science class? That's all that matters. I mean, I was, yeah. I mean, well, in science, you know, I didn't know what I knew now. But, you know, I was believing it back then. You know, I was believing everything they said. I don't know that I was something too wrong with living on the moon. I mean...

I still stand by that. They say they're going to build a lunar base there. That's one of the reasons we're going to the moon, going back. Okay. All right. Yeah. Write 500 words about that. Bring it back to me tomorrow, and we'll talk about it. I mean, I hope people do end up living on the moon. They say that you can shoot a laser up to the moon and hit some mirror that we left up there. They did it on Mythbusters. And then it'll reflect back on you. Right. Imagine...

You're on a, like imagine that you're living on a planet that spins like this. Yeah, we're doing it. And then you got a thing going around you that's also spinning. Yeah. But on that thing that's spinning, you're both spinning. Yeah. And there's a mirror on it and you got a laser pointer. That laser's going around like crazy. Yeah. But it's supposed to, you're supposed to be able to target another thing that's also spinning. Yeah. And then that reflects back. Yeah.

I mean... It's not easy. It cannot be done. I don't think anybody's saying it isn't amazing or difficult to do. I mean, even if you're on a merry-go-round trying to shoot a laser at your friend, you may hit him sometimes. Well, I don't think they're standing here holding the laser pointer with their hand trying to keep it still. I think there's some computers involved. But you're still going around. Yeah. So the laser goes out, and then it's just... Good thing it's not like a dangerous laser. You'd be cutting through planets. Yeah.

All over the place out here. Cutting up stars, the sun's upset. Well, I've never heard this. So what happened on Mythbusters? They did it and they got it back. But you can't see the laser. Only the computer can pick it up and give you a little blip on the screen to let you know the laser has come back. Oh, well, that doesn't sound very exciting. I thought you were going to say it was great TV. Yeah, yeah.

I don't believe Mythbusters, especially after you said that your uncle debunked their debunking. Yeah. So I'm like, well. No, they're not perfect. They were fun back in the day, though. Back before the internet existed. You know what's really funny? Have you read about those two guys that just don't like each other at all? Oh, no. The two Mythbusters guys? No. You watch the show and you're like, oh, they're best friends hanging out doing science together. And then apparently they'd get done filming and they'd just...

Kind of like this podcast. I was hoping you'd make that connection. Can't stand any of you. Well, the lies will eat you up sometimes. You're living a lie, and then you leave there, and you're like... One of them probably had a conscience, and the other one didn't. Yeah. I bet that's what it was. Yeah. Yeah, I bet so. We can't keep lying to the viewers. The guy with the Frenchman's hat? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which one? Is he the good one? He looks like he sells baguettes for a living. Yeah. Yeah, but he really...

I bet those Snopes people hate each other, too. Yeah. I think they're a married couple. Oh, really? Somebody said that. Snopes is just a married couple. That's what I heard. Look it up on Snopes. Yeah, let's see if that's... I bet I could find that. All right. Nick Ventura. I was listening to the podcast at work and several times during the Ants vs. Human conversation. Hmm.

Associates of mine would walk by and see me laughing hysterically to the point of crying, and the look of confusion on their face was priceless. That has to be the funniest conversation in the history of Nateland. Keep up the great work, fellas. You guys are impacting the world with comedy.

I felt like that too. Immediately when that podcast was over, I was like, that's the best one that I feel like I've been a part of. Yeah, me too. I mean, that was really fun. You feel like that was the best one Dusty had been a part of? No, that's the most fun I've had in a long time on here, just the silliness of it. And I had people all weekend give me their theories after the show. Almost all of them said we'd stand no chance against the ants. It's kind of just me and Dusty against the world here, I think.

Apparently there is a movie called Them about humans battling ants. Yeah, people sent us a few different movies that had some references or something similar. Rick and Morty, I think, had something like that. I thought about it a little bit more, what you said, Aaron, as far as – because I think the ants would win. But you kept questioning, when do they get this intelligence? Mm-hmm.

If it's like we found out February 1st ants are becoming as smart as we are and they're going to come after us, then I think we could get after them and get them wiped out before they get organized. Right. But if we're 30 years in and they've had time to develop their intelligence to their uses, then I think we've got some problems. Not to reintroduce this whole thing, but how would they –

How would they get organized? I just think you're underestimating humans. What's your quote? They don't have the means to communicate with each other. But if they're as smart as they are, they would develop communication over time. So ants would build cell phones and computers and... They might come up with their own thing, but if they're smart as we are, why wouldn't they? How are they going to get their satellites in the sky? That's what I want to know. We got all the helium, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Generations and generations. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Years and years and years. I was thinking at war like right now. Yeah, so a starting point, I guess, is important. If they're as smart as we are over generations and they've developed their own ways of doing things, then I think we got some problems. Okay. I hope you're wrong. Well, here comes Jay Tartt.

Jattart. Did you say here come? Come on in, JT. Jattart. Jattart. Dusty's comment about OJ struggling to get his glove on was so underrated. You remember saying that? Yeah. There's a lot of underrated comments. A lot of people love that. And I didn't hear it. I didn't hear it at all. I didn't hear it either. Well, it's like after Henry Cho. Yeah. Being like, oh, that guy didn't do it. Yeah. And I was like, he's back there struggling with his glove. Yeah. That's a great line. All right. Thank you, Jattart. Ty.

Tyler Leahy. I understand what Aaron means about the ant lifespan. Yes. Let's say this war goes on beyond the average lifespan of an ant. Let's say it lasts longer than a week. Who would go to fight a war knowing before they ever left that the absolute best case scenario is they die a week later?

That's not even considering the fact that the ants would have morals and ethics now and may feel differently about sending their children off to war.

That's a great point. Yeah. That is the point I was trying to make. Now, others argue if they have nothing to live for, they'll just go crazy and do whatever it takes. Yeah, but the whole argument in favor of the ants was that they act as a unit. They're so organized. They're so militarized, as Nate said. But once you introduce the human ego, the human consciousness into that, that's all out the window.

And I think the male ants die after they find a mate. Like if they, well, I guess they go for the queen. And if they are successful with the queen, they die. So, you know, maybe the male ants are like, I don't want to go to war. Right. I got one purpose here. For this queen that doesn't even love me? Yeah. Right. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rachel McCartney. Oh, I got some family in the McCartney. I got some McCartney family, some in-laws. Rachel McCartney. Who's going to tell Aaron that fire ants can't float? Can. Can. Yes, can float. Okay.

I read okay. I just miss. Just occasionally I'll make a sentence mean the exact opposite of what you're trying to say. Who's going to tell Aaron that fire ants can float? Growing up in Florida, we knew going in the water wasn't going to save you. I did not have any idea ants could float. Look at that. We're watching a video here of a floating fire ant bridge, and these fire ants just kind of pile on top of each other, create...

A bridge going across the water. That is terrifying. The only fear is the army ants. Those are the only ones. You're not scared of fire ants at all? No, no. I used to sell fire ant killer. I've killed millions of fire ants. Millions of fire ants have been dead at my hands. Do you feel guilty about that at all? I had some of the best fire ant displays in the country. Really? I was featured in the Spectracide quarterly magazine a couple of times. Really? Yes.

Is that online? I bet it's not. Is that in your comedy bio? It should be. That's a great credit. It should be. I had a couple of fertilizer displays in there too, but my fire rank displays were. Well, did you know they could pile up and build bridges across water? I did know that. I believe I was trying to talk about the ant bridge during that episode. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, we just skipped over it.

Bradley from Springfield, Missouri. I like that Bradley really puts it all in there. Didn't put his last name, but let us know where he's living. I like Springfield. One thing that was not brought up was that 25% of the world's population is under 15 years old and 10% is over 65 years old.

So every baby, child, and elderly person has their own 2.5 million ants to fight. I also think ants would target humans that have to do with the field of pesticides first. Sorry, Dusty, but you're probably towards the top of their hit list. Well, if that's true, they're looking to lose a lot of their army right away. Because you're going to be waiting for them. I mean, they better go for the kids and the old people.

Yeah, I mean, I would argue that ants have old ants and children too. Sure, if they're six days old. We'll go after you, buddy. Yeah, yeah. I mean, we're thinking that humans are just going to be sitting around waiting for the ants to come, but we'll be on the offensive. We'll be ready to go. Yeah. Hamilton Provocia. Provocia. Hamilton Provocia. You think that's right? Provocia? He'd turn around.

Yeah. Hamilton. Hamilton, provoked you. Just hearing Dusty talk about trusting the government and his house being just fine against any insects, I can't stop seeing the parallels between him and Dale from King of the Hill. Making Dusty a regular feature on this show has really added a level of sophistication.

You would not think those two sentences that he just said would go together. But I appreciate it. I like Dale from King of the Hill. I think he's a little weak. I don't think I'm as dumb as Dale, but I am a big fan of Dale. You watched, I see Dale there. So you watched King of the Hill? I've watched every episode many times. Okay. I'm a big fan, big fan of Dale. So that's a compliment that he gave me. I'll take it. But Dale is, you know, he's a little weak, but.

What do you mean? Just not smart? Physically weak. And I'm not saying I'm ready to enter a bodybuilding competition, but he's physically weak and – because –

you know, Hank always threatens to, you know, beat him up and he always backs down. I would not go for that. I'm not saying I could take Hank. Yeah. But I wouldn't let him just talk to me like that. Okay. You know. That's good to know. Huh. All right. I thought they were all just buddies hanging out. And I would have known what John Redcorn was up to right away. Well, I have no idea what that means. John Redcorn had a, you know, had a child with his,

With his girl. They had an affair for quite a while. And everybody knows it except him. Yeah. Oh, in King of the Hill. Yeah. Okay. No, not Dusty. You're taking this very well.

Your dad might have been onto something. Okay. All right, guys. This week, we're talking about Kentucky. Oh, all right. That's why I wore this hat. Well, that's why I wore this hat for two reasons. One, I wanted to dress like Nate because my goal was to sit there and become Nate, and I was going to put pictures of myself on the wall behind it. I want the record to show I did not swoop in and take the chair from Brian.

Yeah, he called shotgun. Yeah, I don't want listeners to go, oh, Brian has earned that seat, and how dare Dusty get there? It's kind of like in Good Will Hunting at the end when Matt Damon is gone and Casey Affleck moves to the front of the car. Yeah, everybody moves over. No, but I did wear this hat because it is Valhalla, which we played in Kentucky. This is the golf course where –

A couple of things actually happened. One, where I lifted my foot off the ground about three seconds after I hit the golf ball. We have the video. We've talked about this on the podcast a lot. Oh, boy. It's not going to play. I mean, look at that swing. Oh, man. I don't know anything about golf, and I can tell that's bad. Yeah. I mean, it's like your form is there. It's just not all together. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you're supposed to lift your foot just as you hit the ball. What we're mocking here is that, you know,

Your foot, the mechanics of your swing are supposed to be such that your back foot will turn as you swing it. But Brian knows you're supposed to do that, but his swing doesn't do that. So he manually flips it up. It's like, that's a good picture if you just take a still on his foot raised. Yeah. And you're like, man, what a great follow through. Yeah. And the funny thing is, I don't consciously do this, but...

when I hit a ball good, which that was one of my good ones, then I feel the need to lift my foot like a real golfer. Yeah. But when I hit it poorly, I don't even have a chance to do it because it's right over here. If you hit it so bad, you want people to think that you don't know anything about golf. Yeah. Like, you know, you don't want your form to be good and not

Yeah, that's correct. How did this swing do? How many did it take to get it in? Well, that was a good, for me, that was a good shot. So that's why I felt the impulse to lift my foot about three seconds later because I wanted to look like a real golfer. For me, that was a good one. That looked like it landed on the fairway there. It did. Yeah. It did.

This is a beautiful course, so... I've watched barely any golf, but that swing there is... Yeah, you know what's up. That needs something. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't even attempt it just for fear that this video would exist of me doing it, but... This is like you shoot a basketball and then like three seconds later, you flip the wrist. Yeah, this one is like...

I mean, there's a long-haired guy that wears a white hat that seems to be pretty good at golf, and people will tag me in his videos sometimes. And I'm fine people thinking that's how I would be as a golfer. I think I've commented on him before. Yeah. Who is it?

He seems very good at golf. I don't know. But is he a celebrity that plays in these golf tournaments? He's a professional golfer? I couldn't tell you. The guy I'm thinking about, I think, is a former Major League Baseball pitcher who played in one of these celebrity programs. He wears the golf outfit and seems to be crushing. I don't know if he's, you know, he may not be good at putting, but driving, he seems very good. Oh, I know who you're talking about. Yeah. Kyle Berkshire.

Maybe so. Former long drive champion of the world. Talking about this dude? Yeah. Yeah, people tag me in that sometimes, and I go, yeah, all right. Yeah, he's pretty good. My dad said once that golf is a waste of a good cow pasture. And...

You agree with him on that one. Yeah, I mean, you know, I got nothing against golf. I know this is a very pro-golf podcast. Not anymore, baby. It's not been a big thing in my family. No golf clubs got passed down to me. Well, I wore this hat because Valhalla is in Kentucky. It's one of the nicer golf courses anywhere. In fact, when my friend reached out to me, people reach out to Nate all the time about playing golf, and he usually says no pretty quickly. Yeah.

Well, I just mean fans and such. He's busy. He's busy. Yeah. He said one time here on like, I'd love to play with fans and I still have to go through all those emails weekly saying, sorry, he ain't doing it. But when my friend reached out and said, hey. So when you mean he says no, you say no. On his behalf. Yes. Yeah.

But when my buddy reached out and said, hey, I'm a member of Valhalla. Would Nate want to come up here and play when we're doing shows in Kentucky? I was embarrassed to ask Nate, but he immediately said, yeah, because that's how nice of a course that is. Yeah, it's like an iconic one, right? So we went and played. What makes a course good? Well, a lot of things, just the –

how well it's kept. And sometimes it's just the history. I mean, professional tournaments are played at this course. If you saw a bad golf course, you go, Oh, I get it. It looks like a cow patch. I play some bad golf courses where the grass is all dead. Nobody's taking care of anything. I could see what makes a bad golf course.

But what makes one particularly good to where you go, ooh, I want to play there? Well, think of the qualities that make a golf course bad, which you just said you know. Yeah. Yeah, like you don't cut the grass. Nobody's getting rid of the moles. So a good golf course would be where that stuff is not happening. There's no good flowers out there.

I mean, on a bad golf course, when you hit it in the rough, it's literally just weeds. But even at this place, even their rough is really nice grass. Like a bad neighborhood. Yeah. Like if you hit it into the rough, it's like it's rough out there. You may not get the ball back. Yeah. You're going to lose it. We had a caddy. That's how nice this was. Okay. All right. See, that's what I'm talking about. Good course. You got a caddy out there. You get your own personal caddy. Yes. Get a golf cart.

And we played it. The men played. You get golf cards most places have golf cards. Unless it's like a little park. But they'll be nicer golf cards. Maybe they got a little radio. Oh, yeah. Some of the nicer golf cards have, they got the digital map of the course you're playing. It'll tell you where your ball is. You ever played, you ever signed up for like 18 holes and then like four or five in, been like, I'm pretty done.

I've tapped out halfway through once. Yeah. What do you do there? You just go back up to the clubhouse and go, we're done? No, you just leave. Oh, okay. Yeah, you don't have to check out or anything. Okay.

Yeah, I played with Johnny W. one time, and we went down a steep hill, and our cart started leaning. And he thought he was going to tip over, so he jumped out. And he rolled, and he broke his big toe. So about on the turn, when we got to the ninth hole, he's like, I'm out. I'm done. Did you finish without him? Yeah. Did you really? I was like, hey, I didn't jump out of the cart. I didn't jump out of the cart.

I mean, that seems like a bad course. That course seems bad. That was a bad course with bad players. You got people jumping out of the cart. Yeah.

Think it was going to tip over? I mean, that's two guys that didn't know what we were doing on a bad court. I can't even blame the course. That was just us. I hate to now know how fast Johnny W. will bail. Yeah. Any trouble, he's gone. I mean, tip over with a golf cart. The other thing happened on that day is that's, I think Nate talked about it in his last special. That's when his dad left his door open.

Oh, really? At Valhalla? His dad drove up there and joined us. And when we got... He played with us. And we're out there, you know, a few hours. When we got done and we go back to the parking lot, his dad's car door is just wide open. Wow. And it had been open the whole time. I don't know why I had to show you guys what a...

Car door. Well, I'll make sure he didn't have like a Lamborghini. Yeah. I didn't know what kind of car he had. Yeah. Guy's a magician. I don't know what kind of car he drives. Yeah. I asked Nate's dad to come because we're talking about Kentucky. Nate's parents are from Kentucky and I wanted his dad to come, but his dad's with him in Pebble Beach. He found out Nate wouldn't give me a ride. He's like, nah. Yeah. Talk to you three guys. Nah, I'm good. Yeah. So do you guys, when you think of Kentucky, do

Do you feel like it's a southern state? I think so. Can we say, though, the reason that we're doing Kentucky is because we're all doing a show in Kentucky this Friday? No. I know we normally do that at the end, but here we are. Yeah. We're doing a show. Here we are. Who's going to stop us this time, dude? That's right. That's right. Who's going to stop us? The Lexington Opera House this Friday. The Lexington Opera House this Friday. Yeah. February 4th.

I don't know. I don't know either. Yeah, this Friday. I think it's the 4th. It might have been the 3rd. Yeah, it's in February. The 1st Friday of February. Yeah. Dusty Slay is headlining the Lexington Opera House in Lexington, Kentucky. Yeah. And Brian Bates and Aaron Weber are opening for him. Yeah, it's going to be a great show. Pretty excited about it. Yeah, tickets are selling well, I think. I think so. Only a few tickets left. I think it may sell out, actually. Scoop them up. Yeah, I mean, I've always done well in Lexington, so I'm excited.

But when you're in Lexington or Louisville, well, I'll say for myself, I feel like that's almost like the Midwest. Kentucky is one of those weird states to me. It is a Southern state, but they're like on the border of Ohio and Illinois. Yeah. It wasn't a Confederate state. What was it? It was a neutral. That's right. Yeah. I still feel like Kentucky Southern though.

It is. I mean, the Mason-Dixon line runs right there over it, Omaha River. So technically, it is southern. I'm just saying how you feel. When I'm there, I almost feel like I don't feel like I'm in the south. I feel like it's southern. Some parts, you're there, you're like, wow.

This is the South. Well, if you're at Newport, Kentucky, where it just becomes Ohio. Cincinnati, yeah. Yeah. Then maybe not as much. But that's basically... But Lexington, to me, feels like the very classy Southern city. Lexington does, yeah. With the white fences everywhere. Yeah, horses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think so. I was just... I mean...

Kentucky is closer to us than any other state as far as just getting there. We get to Bowling Green an hour from here. So that's certainly south. But Kentucky is a weird state to me where I feel like parts of it almost don't feel southern. Yeah, I mean, I guess it depends on what makes things feel southern to you. Yeah, I guess that's part of the question. I guess you're right. You put it back on me, didn't you? Yeah, I mean...

I mean, because there's parts of Michigan that feel Southern. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Ohio too. I mean, it's like Illinois, for instance. Growing up, I thought all of Illinois was Chicago. I thought that's what the state was. You know, I didn't give it that much thought, but you just think of the state being like, oh, this is all Chicago. Yeah.

I mean, I can see that with New York State, thinking it's all New York City. But then you get in Illinois and you're like, oh, there's a lot of cornfields around here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. New York State is the same way. I mean, New York State is gigantic. And New York City is a tiny little plus.

I opened for Dusty at the Decatur, Illinois at the airport. Oh, yeah. We did a show at the airport. The green room was the concourse. Called the main hangar. Yeah. And it was an Italian restaurant. And after the show, the guy goes, let me take you to a place to get the best pizza in town. And it was not his restaurant. Yeah.

He owned a different Italian restaurant. And we went there and then he made fun of me for wanting green pepper and mushroom pizza. He did. He wanted to get a certain, like, I don't eat a lot of pizza meats, but.

And he wanted, you know, a meat pizza. And I was like, well, let me get, you know, green pepper mushroom. And the guy made fun of me about it. Like he said things that we can't say, but he was, uh, I was like, take it easy. Call Dusty some rude words. Yeah. I'm like, geez, man, I just, uh, you know, you, you, I didn't even want pizza. You made me come here.

But I liked that guy, though. That guy was nice. And that club closed. It did. Yeah. Went out of business. Yeah. So I've done shows in... Speaking of Kentucky. Yeah, my bad. How about some stuff in Illinois? I've done shows in Lexington, Louisville, Paducah, and Bowling Green, I think.

I think that's it. I've done Elizabethtown. Okay. E-town, they call it. Yeah. Right? Or we talked about that. I can't remember the difference. Mm-hmm. Because I said Elizabethton. Elizabethton. There's a town in Tennessee called Elizabethton. Yeah, they get a lot. I've done comedy in Louisville in a guy's basement one time. That's where I met Jeff Toy. That's who gave me this hat. Mm-hmm. And...

We did that show. Yeah. And then we went to like a Thai restaurant and one of the guys working there had seen me on Comedy Central. Oh, wow. I was like, well, that's pretty exciting. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, I'm just here doing a guy's basement. It was a very fun show though. And then we've – yeah, I've done Lexington. I used to do University of Lexington, the Tom Sobel gigs.

Kentucky. Yeah, Kentucky. University of Kentucky. Yeah, what'd I say? The University of Lexington. Yeah, University of Kentucky in Lexington. There you go. Where, you know, it would be like in a lunchroom. So the show would be free for the students, and then there would be food in there. And people would come in there while you're on stage, get food, and leave. I'm up there doing comedy. The show's free. Yeah. You just sit down. Yeah. Oh.

Yeah, I would have done the same thing, though. Yeah. Try to eat some guys up there talking. Struggling. Yeah. How much time were you doing? When you headline, you do an hour, I think. And when you feature, you do 30 minutes. So I featured more times than I headlined. I headlined only once, I think. And then fortunately, by the time I made it to headline, I was on to better gigs. Yeah, yeah.

I've done a lot in Kentucky. I actually, now that you mentioned Tom Sobel gigs, I feel like I've done, I did one where the Cornbread Mafia was there. That's like a real thing. Google Cornbread Mafia. For some reason, I feel like that's spelled with a K. I don't think so. I think it's spelled the normal way. The Cornbread Mafia. Yeah. Um...

The Cornbread Mafia was the name for a group of Kentucky men who created the largest domestic marijuana production operation in United States history.

The term cornbread mafia was first used publicly by federal prosecutors in June 1989. So you were just starting comedy. Now I've been in it a while. 70 men have been arrested for organizing a marijuana trafficking ring that stretched across 30 farms in 10 states. Did they hide it in cornbread? I don't know. I just remember doing this and they were like, you know, the cornbread mafia is from here. I was like, okay. I hadn't thought about it since, but pretty sure that was a Tom Sobel gig.

Yeah, I've done a lot of Tom Sobel gigs in Kentucky. When you think of Kentucky, what do you think of? I immediately think of the college basketball team. What do you think of? I feel like I think of Kentucky Derby. I think of SEC. I don't think of the basketball team because I don't really like basketball. Well, neither do I. I mean, they're the best, obviously, yeah. But I think about that. Whiskey. Bourbon. Yeah.

Yeah. What about you? I mean, I think you pretty much – I think of college basketball. I think about – Horse racing. You think about hills and mountains and hill people. I do think about that too. I know that's not all of Kentucky and even some in Tennessee and some in Alabama. I get it. But I do think of bluegrass. Bluegrass music? You know –

Yeah. Apparently my wife watches this show, Thousand Pound Sisters, and they're from Kentucky. So you think of them? Yeah. So now I think of them. My wife's Canadian, right? So she just loves these kind of Southern women. It's just a kind of a train wreck. The one lady has like nearly died a couple of times on the show. She's like, it's amazing she's alive.

One of them has lost a bunch of weight, I saw. Yeah. A thousand pounds. They're not even a thousand pounds anymore. I think she lost the weight, but Hannah was saying she's gained it back now.

for the show. Oh, that's sad. Yeah. We got another season. Yeah. We got renewed. Get it back on. Get to eating. We're shooting three weeks. Yeah. I don't want to get canceled. Yeah, I watched a little bit. There's like eight different shows just about. It's just like. Yeah, it's hard for me to watch. TLC is just like, here's fat people. When it gets that big, though, it's like, I feel a little claustrophobic. That's their slogan. That's TLC. Yeah.

It used to be the learning channel. Now it's just. They needed to make money. People were like, we're not trying to learn. Let's just get to some fat people. But you know, when people are very large, like in a way that it becomes immobile, it feels claustrophobic to me. Like you ever like, like you can't move good. Like you're still your same soul inside, but you can't move good. Yeah. That must be frustrating. Yeah. That scares me.

Immobility scares you. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. You ever try to put on a t-shirt and you can't quite get your arms in right? And you're like trapped in there for a minute and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's how I feel. For a minute. Yeah. That's how I feel. Get me out of here. Yeah. Try doing that every morning.

Like when you bring a baby home from the hospital, they teach you to swaddle the baby. Yeah. And I couldn't do it because I just pictured myself being wrapped up in that thing like that and not being able to move. It's like a straitjacket. Yeah, I was like, I can't do that to her. So you don't wear, have you seen those, there's a guy in Shark Tank that had like a blanket that.

supposed to help your anxiety where it just wraps around you tight like a cocoon no way you don't like that no I mean I I don't know how that doesn't give people anxiety but can you still control your arms I mean I think you can get out of it yeah yeah I mean the arms are the issue right

Yeah. Well, the legs too. If my legs get tied up in a way that like I did a massage chair at the airport and they got the grips that go over your legs. And I thought about that, like it squeezes and it feels good. But I thought, well, what if it just locked me in here? Uh-huh.

Would I be able to get out? Now, I overcame, and I did the massage chair three times. Sounds very relaxing. It's $5 for 19 minutes. I was like, I'm here for a while. You've also been tanning, right? I like a tanning bed. But you don't get claustrophobic in a tanning bed? You can slip out the sides. Okay. It's not in a box. If it were a box, that would scare me. Of all the things that you're against, a tanning bed just does not seem... I love the sun. I think it's good. I think it's good. Well, go on the sun. Well, sometimes it's cold. Okay.

how am I going to get sun? This is the blanket we're talking about. Would you feel uncomfortable? I would just even the look of it, um, as a man being in that thing. Well, that's different. Look at that guy. And, uh, but, uh, but no, I wouldn't like that. I don't like stuff all holding my legs. Yeah. So would, uh, Hannah swaddle your baby?

Well, I don't think our baby really liked it. The hospital told us that she was going to like it, but she kept working her arms out of there. We'd swaddle her and we'd wake up in the morning and she had her arms out. And I was like, I don't think she likes it. Yeah. And I just even had a little dream about me being swaddled up. And I was like, let's take her out of that. And she started sleeping great after that. I don't trust what they're telling you at the hospital. Yeah.

I'll tell you that. That's why I don't, I like a tanning bed. They say it's bad for you. I go, that's probably fine. It's probably what we need. It's what they say is good for you. That's what you should be worried about. Exactly. Exactly. So Kentucky was the 15th state to join the union. I find that very interesting because there's the 13 original colonies. Yeah. And then you just think they worked their way. I mean, it's pretty fast. Who was 14? Yeah.

I'm guessing. Vermont? Yeah. Vermont was not one of the original 13? Mm-mm. I love that idea that they're like, Vermont, then Kentucky. Let's get it in there. But Kentucky, I think, is... I think the mountains, they said that Tennessee was hard to settle because of getting over the mountains to get here. Yeah, Daniel Boone kind of helped...

Kentucky was part of Virginia, and then when Virginia was one of the originals, they were like, let's just go ahead and make them one, two. Let's just break it up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I think Daniel Boone blazed a trail. Virginia got broke up a couple of times then. I guess so. You guys are West Virginia. Virginia feels a little elitist. Kentucky is one of four states that's a commonwealth. Technically, its name is the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And I looked up what that meant. It really doesn't mean anything. Yeah. Most of it doesn't.

Kentucky slogan. So they tried in 2002 to come up with a slogan for Kentucky. And they came up with, it's that friendly. Meaning, we're so friendly here at Southern Hospitality, you'll want to come back. And everybody thought it was cheesy. Yeah, that's terrible. And they were like, I went to Louisville and I didn't. I got mugged. It's that friendly? Yeah. Let's get out of here.

So then a few years later, the new governor changed it to Unbridled Spirit. And apparently on the Welcome to Kentucky signs today, there still says Unbridled Spirit. I like Unbridled Spirit because they got a lot of horses up there too. So yeah, unbridled, wild. Double meaning there. You know, in Louisville, there used to be the interstate crosses over into Indiana, right?

Right? That's how you get to Indianapolis right there. And there was a bridge that was the interstate bridge. Oh, yeah. And then one day they built a new bridge and it became a toll bridge. Oh, yeah. Where they would just send you a bill in the mail. Oh, yeah. So you cross over and then you get a bill in the mail. And then when you pay it, they charge you an extra fee for a convenience fee. And then they charge you late fees if you don't pay it on time, which I always have a problem with because I'm all about paying on time. But it's like you didn't know I was coming across that day. So you weren't expecting that money. Right.

So I wrote them a letter and I was like, you're saying that this, you're just doing this to pay off the bridge. You've made it a toll to pay it off. I'm like, well, when are we getting it paid off? Yeah, yeah. Like how close are we to this going? When have we broken even on this bridge? And the last I heard, people had filed a class action lawsuit against them over that. Oh, good. And I'm very happy about that.

that it's like don't but i didn't ask for a new bridge exactly and then but you should put on the thing give us a countdown to say this is how close we are to paying it off and then each car that passes through it clicks off and then we could go all right it's free and then it feels good yeah but it just feels like you're robbing me yeah and i've had i've been upset with louisville since

I am doing comedy there later in the year. So I do still love them, but I've been upset with them. But is it even Louisville? That's the problem? It's Louisville's bridge. I think so. And then when you get to the other end, then you cross over to Indiana. I think you can cross that the other way. No toll.

I feel like. That's just Kentucky. That could be incorrect. Nickel and diamond, yeah. Well, I signed up for that toll-abridged. I just pay it monthly just to get it out of the way. But since I haven't been in a while, I need rocket money. Okay.

No, that is not true. But if it was, I would sign up for Rocket Money. You guys know Rocket Money? Oh, I love Rocket Money. You used to call it Truebill, right? Yeah. I still call it Truebill. Sometimes I forget. In my head, I think of Truebill. Yeah. I'm looking for the app. I'm like, where's Truebill? Oh, it's Rocket Money. Yeah. Us old school guys, we know what is Truebill. It is Rocket Money now. It's your personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions like toll bridges, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. We all got a bunch of stuff we signed up for years ago. Our life changes.

I still get Dusty's monthly newsletter. There was one of him on there blowing smoke. Yeah. I don't even know how he did that. But because like it was like animation. Yeah. Yeah. My poster guy. Brian doesn't understand a GIF. Mickey Cox. Very good. Yeah. How's that picture moving? I didn't even know it was called GIF. I didn't know it was called GIF. I think it was GIF. I thought it was GIF. Yeah. Well, the guy who invented it said it was GIF. So I trust him. You should talk to Greg Warren about that. Yeah.

Over 80% of people have subscriptions they forgot about. Rocket Money will quickly and easily identify your subscriptions for you so you can stop paying for the ones you don't want. Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way. But hold on. There's a lot going on. Let's think about it. We're doing a Kentucky episode. Oh, yes. I'm guessing somewhere in the state of Kentucky. You are correct. E-Town, Elizabethtown, Kentucky.

Oh, I wanted to say this though. All right, we'll move on. About that. No, we go back to it, but about the smoking photo. Okay. So my dad, so we're out, we're talking, we're sitting, having dinner. My daughter's asleep and I'm talking to him about like-

you know, pills that people are on. And I'm just, you know, I'm just having conversation about how sad, you know, catching up, how sad it is. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, ah, I heard about this person. They're having a hard time. And then my dad goes, and then my son's out here just smoking cigars everywhere. And I'm like, well, I don't know how that's the same at all. And then my dad like brings up my aunt. He's like, you know, your aunt Becky wouldn't like that. And I'm like, my aunt Becky, I have not seen her in years.

I mean, I like my Aunt Becky, but I don't know that I'm ever worried about my Aunt Becky telling me not to smoke cigars. Aunt Becky went to jail. Did she? It was a different Aunt Becky.

From Full House. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Lori Loughlin. Smoking and joking. That is cool. It's a fun poster. You know what state has the most tobacco production? I'm going to go with Kentucky. Alabama, actually. No. North Carolina's one. Kentucky's second. Okay. Yeah, I thought North Carolina was the tobacco state, but I was basing it off Aaron's logic that...

So Jif manufactured in Kentucky. And? Tobacco is second largest in Kentucky. And Kentucky had the most percentage of smokers up until recently. West Virginia has passed them. All right. I don't believe it. West Virginia holding strong. But Jif is manufactured in Lexington, Kentucky. Wow. Where we'll be. That's where the Smuckers. Wow. Smuckers makes Jif?

Smucker's Owns Jif. Whoa. Yeah. That's deep. Yeah, we were talking about that with Greg Warren. He was like, it's a little dicey. Greg shot a special in Lexington. He did. Is that why? I don't know. Trying to get that peanut butter folks out. Yeah. If you know, if anybody, any listeners work at the Jif factory, we'd love to get a tour.

Yeah, Aaron and Brian would love a tour. I guess I'm leaving early that day. I was going to be watching my daughter up until we left, but now I'm going to go do a tour a little early. I mean, you wouldn't want to see the factory? I do. I got a lot I want to do, though. I want to see the cocaine bear. Is that in Lexington? Yeah, we talked about that in a previous episode. I don't listen during the episodes. Brian, you know this. I'd like to get my belt repaired. I got a belt made in Kentucky. I'd like to get my belt repaired. Well, I got to run some errands. Yeah.

Let's just meet each other at the show. How about that? Bring some peanut butter to the show. Yeah. That's all I want. Yeah. Well, I mean, I would like it. I don't know if I can fit it in. You would want to? I would love to, yeah. Okay. I'd be interested in it. Okay. I've been to some factories, never a peanut butter factory. Well, that's what me too. I've been to a bread factory and a pesticide factory.

You know, a guy hit us up. I don't even know if I told y'all this. A guy hit us up from the Hardee's headquarters. Oh, yeah? And their test kitchen is in Franklin, Tennessee. I love Hardee's. I was not even in Kentucky. Then we'll head back down to Franklin, Tennessee. No, I'm not trying to squeeze this in our trip this weekend. Okay. But I'm saying for future reference, he said, come on by the test kitchen. You can try some stuff that hasn't even been rolled out to the menus yet.

I do love Hardee's. So if you guys are interested in that, I'd love to check that out. I don't know if I like to try a – I don't like to be first up on a thing, but – We're not – What kind of stuff would they be trying out? Just experimental stuff that hasn't made the main menu yet. Yeah. Because they're always trying to rethink stuff. Well, I love Hardee's. I mean, I'm a big fan. I went to a Hardee's with my dad in Opelika recently. We went to a Hardee's because we tried to go to Jack's, but the manager didn't show up, so it wasn't open. Yeah.

So they had to go to Hardee's. They have a handmade sign in the window. No, they had a bunch of employees in the parking lot. Like, we can't get in because the manager. Whoa. Is that Jack didn't show up? I guess so. Yeah. What about Kentucky Fried Chicken? See, I'm trying to get back home. I love KFC. Sorry. You know, I haven't eaten KFC in a long time, but when I was in high school, I was like, I'd hit up KFC like every day. Original recipe. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

Did that start in Kentucky? Yeah. Okay. Corbin, Kentucky. Colonel Sanders starts selling it. Well, that's not a crazy question. It could have been a trick question, right? Could have been a trick question. Could have been. Could have been. Could have been actually in Cincinnati, you know? Yeah. And they're trying to make it more authentic. Or he could be just a Kentucky-born guy bringing his chicken to another state. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. But Kentucky fried chicken sounds better than Ohio fried chicken. It does. It does.

I love Ohio, but Ohio fried chicken doesn't have the right name. OFC. Yeah. I don't like it. Yeah. But if that was what it is the entire time, we'd probably be like, Kentucky fried chicken? That sounds weird. Potentially. Potentially. I think all names sound weird at first, and then you just get on board with them. Yeah. What about Alabama fried chicken? AFC. Well, that's already an acronym. That's for the NFL. Yeah. Harlan Sanders was- OFC is an offensive line coach. Harlan Sanders was his name? Mm-hmm.

And the governor made him an honorary colonel. And he's like, I'll play the part. So he started dressing. I don't know what that is about being a colonel. So he didn't serve in the military? No, I think he was just a... I thought he was a war hero, dude. Yeah. He's come back from the war, started frying up chicken. Thank you, sir, for your service. His name's Har... You know, I think they say Hazard, Kentucky or Harlan County is like the most... One of the most dangerous places in the country.

For what reason? Murder. But who's doing it, I guess? The Cornbread Mafia? I think it was maybe a moonshine town back in the day. Oh, yeah. And it's just really still dangerous. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hmm. But it's good. KFC out there. Have you guys seen this KFC logo? This is the KFC logo. And somebody pointed this out online and now I can't unsee it. This is supposed to be his tie, but it sure looks like a little stick figure. Yeah. And that's his head on top of his arms and legs right there. And it looks much different now. Yeah. Yeah. Like a little dance and Colonel Sanders. Yeah. He's like, come on, eat this chicken. Get down here and eat some of this chicken.

Do a little dance. Do a little dance and get some of this chicken. Well, Papa John's, which is also in Kentucky. Oh, yeah. Louisville. Louisville. John had some issues the last couple of years. So they changed Papa John's, apostrophe S, to just Papa John's. Because they don't want to say, this is John's pizza. It's just Papa John's. Oh, okay. So the new logo, there's no apostrophe S. Did you know that, Aaron? No. No.

I love how they think that the people that eat Papa John's are really that concerned. They're like, I'm just looking for a pizza here. I don't know. I don't care for John's politics, but I'm looking for a pizza here with the cheese on top of the toppings. It's just funny how they're like, we got to distance ourselves, but that is what everyone knows it as. So somebody said, what if we just take off the apostrophe? There you go. Yeah. That's the guy from the Papa John's. Well, it's not his. It's not his pizza. This is a new guy. His last name's Johns. Yeah.

He's a newborn dad. He's a new dad. Yeah. Newborn dad. So Fruit of the Loom, also Kentucky. They got some major companies coming out of Kentucky. I love Fruit of the Loom. Well, they're based in Bowling Green. Did you know that? I grew up with that underwear, Fruit of the Loom. I didn't know that, though.

Well, they're in Bowling Green. I was going to ask you guys, but you see the logo there. Yeah. Oh, is this the Mandela effect question? Oh, yeah. I've heard of this one. Okay. I believe it, that there used to be a cornucopia in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you listeners, when you think of the Fruit of the Loom logo. Did I ruin it? No, I ruined it. I looked at it a little too quickly. But you listeners, when you think of the Fruit of the Loom logo, what are you visualizing in your head?

What are you seeing? I envision a cornucopia with a bunch of fruit in front of it. Yeah. Well, you'd be wrong. Just fruit. It's just fruit. Not even a loom in there. Do you have a story behind that? Or what is that all about? I read on Reddit that there was somewhere a cornucopia. So it's not like it's completely false. And I also looked up what each one of these fruits are. One of them's something I never even heard of. I was going to quiz you. I'm going to go with apple for that one. Okay. Grapes. All right.

And then, you know what? I'm stumped on the other two. I'm going grapes again. I'm assuming they're all grapes. And then the other one I'm saying is muscadines. That's a good guess because I don't know what that is either. Muscadine wine. Yeah, or scutlins. The yellow ones are the ones. You know those scutlins? No. That's like a muscadine. Okay. You said one word, place another word I never heard of. So, yeah, let's see what scutlins are.

scuttle fruit okay they look like little nah that's not the kind of scuttle we were eating it's some kind of british thing okay i can't find scuttle yeah scuttlings were like uh like muscadines are like purple or whatever scuttlings are like green is that one right here but a real yeah no not that big it's like a grape size but a real thick skin you don't really eat the skin you just kind of eat the eat the

Okay. You just kind of bite it and then swallow it. What's on the Fruit of the Loom logo? So the yellow one, that's the only one we didn't cover, I believe, correct? It's called yellow gooseberries or white currants. I guess it has two different names. Gooseberries. Okay. I've never heard of currants. You guys know currants? I've heard of currants. Oh, well, that's what it is. Like in an ocean. Yeah. Well, that's spelled differently, but...

It's with A-N-T. Oh, C-U-R-R-A-N-T. Yeah. Okay. It's like a half cherry, half grape. Not really. Well, I don't know what a loom is necessarily, but when you got several types of grapes and an apple, that's not really fruit of the loom. You know what I mean? I would think it would be just a- Banana. Need a little more diversity. Yeah, get some other fruits in there. Yeah, peaches. Are you guys all enough to remember when the men played the-

Yes, in the commercials. Yeah, they're all dressed up. They were diverse. Oh, I do remember. There was a black guy in there. They had more diversity in the people than they did the fruit. But they were all grapes, though, weren't they? I don't remember. Oh, I remember they had a whole grape man. Yeah, anyway. Yeah, he was a grape guy. Yeah. Hot Pockets, they're all made in Mount Sterling, Kentucky.

Kentucky's actually making a lot of my favorite stuff. Post-it notes, all made in Cynthiana, Kentucky. Sounds very Southern to me. Now, is that true, the way Post-it notes were created? Have you ever heard that story? No. That some guy...

Let's hear it. Some guy was trying to get an order of wallpaper, and he didn't put decimals in. He shipped it off, and they came back really, really small. And he was like, oh, this is actually pretty useful. It was a shipping error. And then he thought, well, let's just make Post-it notes. It's not what I read. Okay. What did you read? Just that somebody was wanting a way to...

have some labels. So you knew the real story? Do you let me tell that whole thing of nonsense? Well, I didn't know what you were going to say, but I think that that I've read that somewhere. You can put over drywall. If you've got a hole in your wall, isn't that a much better story than the one I had? I think so. Yeah. Okay. Then let's just make that in the movie. Romy and Michelle's high school reunion. They claim to have invented post-it notes. Oh, really? Yeah. And they get, you know, were they from Kentucky? Tough to say, but I don't think so.

Oh, that was their story they made up. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like when I watched that documentary, The Battered Bastards of Baseball, which I told you guys about. Right. One of the guys went on to help invent Post-it Notes. Maybe everybody's just claiming it. I don't know. Well, it's one of those fun things. Nobody knows who really invented that. And it's such a, they're everywhere. You know, it's a fun thing to say. In Mean Girls, one of the characters, Gretchen Wiener, said her father invented Toaster Strudel. Who knows if that's true?

Did you like toaster strudels? I've never had them. I never liked them. I thought, just do a Pop-Tart. You know what I mean? It's not complicated here. Well, the Corvette Museum is in Bowling Green as well, where they manufacture Corvettes. When I worked at Channel 5, I heard a lot of crazy stories that I always knew, that ain't true, that ain't true, when people would call. Yeah. Some guy called one day and said, yeah, there's just a giant sinkhole opened up at the Corvette Museum, and about nine Corvettes just fell on the bottom of this sinkhole. And I was like-

Thinking. There's no way that's true. That one was true. Wow. A giant sinkhole opened up and they all fell in there. Did they get them back? I think they maybe, they rebuilt, but I think they left a, I've never been there, exhibit just to show where all these sinkholes, where all these Corvettes fell down the sinkhole. So this is in 2014 this happened. Where do you think they go when that happens? Well, it doesn't open up to the core of the earth. I mean, you know, they go. Yeah, but where do you think they go? To the bottom of the sinkhole. But what's down there?

You can see the bottom of it. Looks like some dirt. Oh, this is a small one. It's wide, but it's not very deep. That looks like toy cars. Just going down. Who knows? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They say there's some seacoles in Florida where people's whole houses have been swallowed up and people died. Just vanished. Yeah. Now, is that the exhibit or is that the actual aftermath? That seems like toy cars to me. That's why I was asking. They almost look like toys. But no, that's from 2014, so I guess that's when it happened.

That's pretty hilarious to me. I hate it for them, but it's like the idea of the luxury of these cars and we're just showing these cars off and then the earth just swallows them up. I love that. A little bit of cosmic justice. Yeah. All right. I got a couple more things I wanted to get to here. Okay. So I haven't been, my mom's been to both of these, the Creation Museum and the Ark Encounter. I thought that was the same thing.

Same people run it. Okay. Um, EIG answers in Genesis, but the creation museum was first. And at the creation museum, you guys, either you guys been? No, no. Uh,

And they, it was, I'm drawing a blank here. Ken Ham started it. Ken Ham, yeah. And he did a debate with- Bill Nye. Bill Nye, yeah. And it helped raise money for this creation museum. And they have a dinosaur there called Ebenezer. And they say that dinosaurs lived with humans and that the earth's 6,000 years old. And this dinosaur's on display because they have some evidence that it was here during the flood.

and that it died during the flood. So that's their kind of, one of their big displays is this dinosaur. And the Ark Encounters, they have a life size, are built to the specifications in the Bible, right? Yes. So it's huge. Here's a picture of it. Pretty massive. Yeah. And did they build it the way that it would have been built in the Bible?

Or do you think they used modern tools? With just three men? Yeah, the three dudes. Knowing the sons. Ken Ham out there doing it? Yeah. Well, I don't think they did that. And from a John Chris video, there's like fire alarms on there and smoke detectors and things like that for modern safety. But it's the dimensions. Bathrooms, plumbing. Yeah, probably that. Dimensions are the size of the arc.

I always thought about this with Noah. I mean, can you imagine, let's say that you built a boat, right? Yeah. You built the ark and then everybody was laughing at you, making fun of you the whole time. And then the earth flooded. Yeah. I would think on that first day, you come out on the deck, cup of coffee, looking out, you're like,

All right. That worked out. Yeah. That was pretty good, honestly. And that's why, you know, they always try to say Noah was a drunk, but I think he spent, you know, all this time on a boat with six people and a bunch of animals. I think when he got off, he was like, I'd like to kick back a little bit. Yeah.

I'm going to grow some grapes and try to have a little wine here. Get naked. Well, in the story, doesn't he, when it happens, he opens them. Doesn't he let all those people on after all? No, I don't. No. I was thinking of Evan Almighty. Yeah, it's a little bit different. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. No, no. In real life, no. All those people were gone. I mean, from my children's Bible, which is kind of crazy that this is the kids' Bible, there was illustrations of people like, Noah, help us, because now it's pouring down rain and flooding, and it's up to here on them. And they're like, Noah. And he's like, see ya, wouldn't want to be ya. Yeah, he's like, trying to get you to pay attention. That's what I learned in Sunday school when I was eight. They're sugarcoating it for the kids. And they're like, well, you were drunk slurring your words. I didn't understand what you were talking about. Yeah.

Yeah. I would have thought the Creation Museum and Ark Encounter would be up your alley, but I can tell from your no that you're not on board. No, I'm interested in it. I would see it, but you know, I don't know. I don't really like those things. I mean, I'm interested in it. I think if I was there, I would go see it, but

they're closer than real museums. I would think you would think, right. I mean, they're at least onto something. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, I don't, I would, I like the art museum cause I like to look at art, but yeah, like a dinosaur museum. They're always like, you know, you know, my stance where they're always like, here's a bone we found. And then we made these others, but we got the others in storage. They're being clean. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

uh middlesbrough kentucky was built in a crater um a meteorite hit middlesbrough in the middle of it well i think the meteorite hit first and then the town was built around it but if it wasn't for this crater they said people wouldn't be able to get over the mountains and get there so this this meteorite really helped them out okay you can kind of see it it's been uh it's overgrown with

trees and stuff now but you can kind of see it carved out here well it's 300 million years ago that they said this exact opposite of the creation they've had some time to so 300 mil so they couldn't have got over the mountain this was the largest mountain in the world then uh i don't know what you're asking well you said that crater thanks to the meteor 300 million years ago people were able to get there well the crate um

Yes. So the meteor, they say, hit 300 million years ago that caused this whatever. It's surrounded by mountains, Appalachian Mountains. Yeah. And if it wasn't there, there would just be another mountain that people couldn't get over. But to answer your question, yes, the Appalachian Mountains used to be the biggest mountains in the world. Oh. That's what they say. Okay. But then the meteorite came. No, not this meteorite. It was just tectonic shifts over time. And it made other mountains bigger? Yeah.

Well, yeah. They pushed them up? Yeah. That's what mountain, when the plates get pushed up, they get pushed up. Yeah, yeah. Like that. So that's what happened to the Grand Canyon, that they just pulled away? Agreed. And they were like, oh, there's a big, yeah. The Grand Canyon was erosion. For millions of years. Millions and millions and millions of years. Why do you think that the rivers have not done that in other places? Oh, the erosion does happen everywhere. But why do you think it's not been to that extreme?

Well, there could only be one Grand Canyon. Like the Mississippi River, you would think, would be cutting out quite a canyon.

Well, just give it time. Yeah. It's new. It's a new river. Check back in a few million years and we'll see what happens to it. It's gotten bigger. Yeah. So the Kelly Hopkinsville encounter, one of the most famous cases of UFO alien cases. I think I briefly mentioned this on our Aliens Part 1 episode. The term little green man, a lot of people think it came from this incident. So Hopkinsville, Kentucky, which is, again, about an hour from here. I had a roommate from Hopkinsville.

So in 1955... I'm just relating that to Kentucky. Just giving some color to the story, yeah. I did a show for the Hopkinsville Police Department. Oh, yeah? I did their Christmas party, open for Chris Killian. All right. At the Hopkinsville Kentucky Police Banquet. Oh, I just remember another bad Kentucky show I did. Where at? Hopkinsville? No, I don't even want to say because... Paducah?

It was in Kentucky and it went really bad and it was so bad. And the next day a big tornado came through the area and knocked like a lot of damage. And I, and I thought, man, if that had just come a day earlier, I wouldn't have had to done this show. Nobody was killed. I'm just saying power was out for a week. And yeah. All right. I'm sorry. I brought that up.

I think the show went so bad that the tornado came. Well, we got to wipe this from the memory. I think that tornado wasn't the worst thing that happened to them that week. I'll say that. I think they're like, at least I didn't have to listen to that guy. So anyway, these family in, this is 1955 and they're in this farmhouse and they said for,

Nearly four hours, these little goblin creatures came around, kept sticking their head in the window, and they would fire shotguns at them. They'd just fly away, and they kept going.

And finally, these people were so freaked out, they went down to the police station and said, there's these little creatures, these goblins that have been in our window for hours now harassing us and we can't kill them. So the police and Fort Campbell and a bunch of different military went down there and all they could find was remnants of guns fired everywhere, but they couldn't find the little creatures. It's like your house with the plumbing. Yeah.

Yeah, just like it. They were like, we'll cut through the dry roll if you want. We'll take a look for it. So one theory is it was owls, eagle owls, or great horn owls, which kind of float and would be about that size. I mean, they would fly away. But I don't know. People said they saw a light that night in the sky. What year was this? 1955. 1955, all right.

But like I said, the term little green men, it was in the newspaper and that kind of became a thing after this. So this was before, this could not have been. When were handheld cameras sort of readily available? I would say the 80s.

Oh, okay. That late. I would think. Well, the Polaroid, like Kodak, instant cameras, those were 70s and 80s, but they had little cameras. In the 50s. At least in the 50s and 60s. Okay. Probably not everyone. Right. But it wouldn't be like if this happened now, there'd be video and pictures of everything. I don't think there's any, even police photos. Maybe that's why the aliens don't come back now. They're like, everybody's got cameras now. Well, there you go. And they'll get us. Maybe. What do you think this is, Dusty?

Well, I don't know. I mean, I don't know those people, so they could have been hallucinating for all I know. They could have been sleep deprived. They could have been on cough syrup. I don't know. But if they saw it, if it were real, then it's demons for sure. Yeah. Little demons? Yeah. Well, they still look like goblins. Goblins could be demons, right? It's all demonic. Yeah. I don't believe in space aliens. Tough to have space aliens when there's no space. You know what I mean?

Dimensional beings. Yeah, there you go. Dimensional beings, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. DBs. Yeah. As I call them. The Happy Birthday Song is the most recognized song in the English language. The white one? Well, I was about to say, there's... Yeah, there you go. Did you know there's two versions? I did not know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The white version is the most recognized song in the English language. What's the other one? There's a black version. Sing it, Aaron. The happy birthday to you.

Oh, I've heard this one. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. Yeah, that's the other one. It was a TV show that it was on. I think it was their intro. I think it's just from life, too. Okay. I don't even know if Aaron's allowed to sing it, but you get canceled. Well, I... I'm joking. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, the version we know was written by two sisters. Our version. Yeah. The good one is... Two Louisville sisters. Oh, really? Yep.

And wasn't it copyrighted until very recently? I think so, yeah. Yeah, you weren't allowed to sing happy birthday in TV and film. Did you know that? Wow, I didn't know that. Because it wasn't owned by someone. You think that's why the other one was invented? Maybe they were like, we need a TV version. You guys were servers? I thought at restaurants, when they come out, happy, happy birthday. I thought that's... Oh, that's one, too. Oh, well, you could still sing the regular happy birthday at a restaurant.

It's not on TV. Yeah, it's not on TV and film. But a corporation's making money, people coming in there. We would do regular happy birthday, and we were not happy about it. At Western Sizzling? At... Jim Bob's? At Hyman's. Okay. Western Sizzling, I don't think we ever did a happy birthday. I wouldn't think so. We might have done one. Nobody's celebrating a birthday at Western Sizzling. That's true. A funeral, maybe. And if you are celebrating it, you're not happy about it. Yeah.

You're not like, come sing to me. Because the dessert's already on the buffet. Right, right. Yeah, there's no ceremony. Yeah. Okay. We don't have any special cake back there. But we would do it at Hyman's, and we did not like it. I was going to ask you guys, who's the most famous person from Kentucky? Can you name a celebrity from Kentucky? I would say Abraham Lincoln. He was born in Kentucky. Didn't spend a lot of time there, but he was born there.

Rand Paul. Yeah, that's a good one. He's been pretty popular lately. Muhammad Ali. Okay, a bit more popular. Yeah. A bit more well-known. The Louisville Lip.

What's that? That's one of his nicknames. Oh, I have never heard that. The Louisville Lip. What about the Louisville Slugger? I know that's a bat, but that's pretty... That's from Kentucky. Yeah, yeah. So is Jeff. Yeah. So is Papa John. Yeah. Oh, John Schmatter. Yeah. Isn't that Papa John? I think that's right. I think so. That's pretty famous. Yeah, he's a... Colonel Sanders. Yeah. Have you been to the Louisville Slugger Museum? I have. I have, yeah. Is it cool? It is cool. It's very cool. A lot of bats in there.

You can see bats getting made. Oh, okay. If you know anybody, if anybody here works at the Louisville Slugger Factory, we'd love to take a tour. All three of us. We'll drive over. We'll take an eight-hour tour. I have a Louisville Slugger bat when I was in Cleveland, Ohio. Hilarities. Yeah, they gave me a bat. Yeah, isn't that cool? Yeah. I'd love to do that. Well,

A lot of famous people from Kentucky. A lot of actors you wouldn't think about. Jennifer Lawrence, Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp. Owensboro, Kentucky. I thought Johnny Depp was from, I don't even know. You wouldn't think Kentucky. Bulgaria? Where's his accent from? If space was real, I would say that's where he's from. Okay.

But since he's not, he's a demon. Yeah. I used to love Johnny Depp, though. I really liked Johnny Depp back in the day. Yeah. I don't dislike him now. He just kind of faded out. You just care less about him. Yeah, he's just now acting in court cases. That's what he does now. But he didn't... Oh, did he suit her? No, she sued... Oh, yeah, he sued her for defamation. I think that's like new age reality TV, court cases. Court cases. They're not even... I don't even think that was...

I don't think that was real. George Clooney? Yeah, keep going. George Clooney's from Kentucky? I think he was born there, yeah. A ton of country singers from Kentucky. They have their own country music highway. Oh, hit me with a few. All right, I'm trying to find one. Billy Joe Shaver. The Judds. I think Billy Joe Shaver was Texas. I know. Okay. The Judds. That's one, yeah. Why not me? Garth.

No, Garth from... I'm losing my list here. I'm trying to have Dusty correct these. Sturgill Simpson, Bill Monroe, Chris Stapleton, Loretta Lynn, Coal Miner's Daughter. Okay. I would think West Virginia. Do you have all those on a separate page? I can't find them right now for some reason. Loretta Lynn. Crystal Gale, Loretta Lynn's sister. Now I'm just guessing. Crystal Gale, the newscaster? Is Crystal Gale Loretta Lynn's sister? I thought Crystal Gale was on CNN. Well...

Who am I talking about? I don't know who you're talking about. I'm surprised you didn't know Crystal Gale was literally my sister. I did not know that. That's below my mind right now. I was thinking about Gale King. I'm happy. Probably need to wrap it up. Yeah, I'm happy we did this. This is great.

So this Friday, the three of us. This Friday, we're going to be. I don't know what order we'll go in. If you made it to the end of this episode, you're a real fan. You should come see all three of us. I thought this was a very solid episode. I thought it was way better. I didn't have just weighing me down with negativity. It was nice. I could say something without fear of reprisal. Yeah, yeah. We could really be ourselves. It's like when your kid, your parent goes out of town. Yeah. And you're like, this is awesome. But then after a while, you're like, I'd love to.

Well, we'll see. I mean, Wednesday when the comments come out, we'll see. Oh, we know what they're going to say. We'll see. Get Nate back. And Nate is back next week. We've already taped that one. Dusty's gone next week. We've got John Reap sitting in with us. It's a great episode. Nate tells some Greg Gerardo stories we've all heard, but it's a great episode. Hot tub time machine. Yeah, I'm sure that's in there.

But Friday, Lexington at the Lexington Opera House. Saturday, I'll be in Atlanta at Center Stage with Aaron. Yeah. Brian was invited. I don't want you to think we cut Brian out. He was just not available. One night's enough for me, for these guys. We did tell him, listen, we can't do a hotel. We can't do travel. But we'd love to have you on the show. If you have a friend in Atlanta you could stay with. No, but Lexington, I'm looking forward to it. Your first theater headline, right? Yeah.

Yeah, technically, I don't know. I mean, I've done some. The first one this year. I mean, I've done some theaters. What a milestone. I mean, I have done some theaters. Three weeks into the year. So it's not really the first. Can you tell me another one you've done? Yeah, I did the Charleston Music Hall. I mean, I've done. And that's a big one too, isn't it? Yeah. All right. Well, I'm mistaken. But this one's probably going to be sold out as well as the Center Stage in Atlanta. So I would say the first sold out theater. Yeah.

All right. It's a big show. Yeah, it's going to be great. I mean, I don't know. Don't let them fool you. I don't know why you put me on the spot about all the theaters I've done. Well, I'm mistaken. I thought this was- Yeah, you know, in Charleston, when I, I mean, there was, I did lots of theaters. I wasn't necessarily headlining them, but I was doing them. I thought you did maybe some small theaters. I was going to call you out on, this is a big one. This is big, and I'm very excited that it's happening. Yeah. It is a milestone. Cool. Yeah.

Where are you going to be? I'm going to be with Dusty this weekend. Next weekend, I'm going to Omaha, Nebraska for the first time doing the Omaha Funny Bone. Headlining all weekend. Pretty excited about that. The following weekend...

I'll just rattle off some cities. Come see me. Charlottesville, Virginia, Asheville, North Carolina, West Bend, Wisconsin, Lowell, Arkansas, Nashville, St. Louis. Check his website. He's got a lot going on. Yeah, we need to wrap this up here. But in two weeks, though, since I won't be here next week, I'll be in Tampa, Florida at Sidesplitter. So do come see that. I pitched it on the one we recorded. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that.

And go check out Nate's special, Hello World, on Prime. It's going to be good. Before they take it down. No question. Yeah. Thanks to our sponsors, Magic Spoon and Rocket Money. Don't forget to use their promo code, Nate. As always, we love you. What is it Nate says? Never forget that? It's never lost on us. Never lost on us. We love you. We love you. Thanks again. You're right. Everyone else is wrong. Hollywood, wrong. We're having a good time. We're having a good time.

All right. See you. Bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetze, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.