145: #145 Animal Fights
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Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. At Mint Mobile, we like to do the opposite of what Big Wireless does. They charge you a lot, we charge you a little. So naturally, when they announced they'd be raising their prices due to inflation, we decided to deflate our prices due to not hating you.

That's right. We're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. $45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes. See details. Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. At Mint Mobile, we like to do the opposite of what big wireless does.

They charge you a lot, we charge you a little. So naturally, when they announced they'd be raising their prices due to inflation, we decided to deflate our prices due to not hating you. That's right, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. $45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes. See details.

Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous two-year contracts, they said, what the f*** are you talking about, you insane Hollywood a**hole?

So to recap, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. $45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes per detail. Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. We are here. Excited to be back. A bit of a weekend. Yeah, it was. We were at least all in the same place so we don't have to go around and ask everybody where they were at.

But it was a wild, wild weekend. Trying to fix the microphone. It's fine. I'll deal with it, guys. Don't worry about it. I guess I'll carry this podcast. I got to carry that show Saturday night.

No, it was, so for those of, you know, maybe not everybody knows what went on, but we did Bridgestone Arena, Johnson City on Friday night. Johnson City was great.

Very cool. Yeah, I loved it. I finally got to not bomb in Johnson City. Yeah. It was great. You redeemed yourself. Yeah. Yeah, they were excited when everybody came out, and we got to hang out. We played some – I'll tell you what. We played a little – like a mini ping pong. Not pickleball, but –

either ping pong, but on a tennis court. Right, with a tennis ball. With a tennis ball. Isn't that called tennis? Well, it's close. We had tennis ball, pickleball, rackets. We just had what we had. And then we were on the tennis court, but we shrunken in and we stood like in the middle. Yeah. And then we kind of played ping pong. And I mean, we're doing this, it's one in the morning. Lights luckily cut on at that ETSU event.

Or the high school or whatever. Yeah. And I got a little news for you. Oh, Breakfast, quite the player. Dude. I had no idea. I heard this, but I had no idea. Oh, my gosh. He went through a stretch where he was just dominating. He was a problem. Yeah. And his serve is just – because we – so if you picture a tennis court,

You know, you've got the very far back lines. But just the front lines that you usually have to serve over, we were just standing in the front squares. Isn't that how pickleball is played? No, there's another line. So the out-of-bounds was, yeah, we're in the middle. The four squares in the middle and out-of-bounds were the lines because we're playing with tennis ball and these rackets. It's hard to hit far. What's a pickleball racket look like? Just a wood. A wooden paddle. Wooden paddle.

And so, you know, just trying to make up a game, you know, with what we got. And the game was very fun. Me and Aaron were on a team. And then Bates played the whole time. And then Chase and Eric, the barber, and my son Chase. And so they would switch. And, I mean, it's...

Bates, it's pretty crazy. And if you're thinking Bates handled this with a lot of grace, you are wrong. You are wrong. He started talking serious trash. Loud, loud, loud. And then I would make a point and he would be so condescending. Good work, big guy. You did it. You got one. Nice job, big fella. So what happened? Is this some skill that you knew you had that you've not shared with people? No, my goal was just aim for Nate's head. Okay. Yeah.

Well, it was someone as old as you and that late. Those are things that don't go together. Yeah. And moving. So this is, I mean, we watched a true, you know, like Michael Jordan flu game of you. But his flu was just late at night. His flu was late at night. Of this made-up ping pong tennis player.

Pickleball racket game. What if late nights are like the thing that you... That's when your secret power comes out and you've been sleeping all this time. Yeah. Older people just go like... If they only knew...

how their muscles just move. You weren't even sore the next day. You felt fine. The moonlight comes in and just... Yeah, he doesn't move. He's like a werewolf. He moves with a purpose. I would say it's like Carmelo Anthony in basketball. It's graceful. Yeah, Carmelo Anthony, when you watch him play, was like never...

He was so good, but he never looked like he was the fastest person out there. But he just, you couldn't stop the moves. Right. And that's what it was with Bates. But he was just, and then he would serve it where you would just get caught like it's so far back.

We had some – I switched it up at one point. I started charging the net, and that helped. Kind of took them off. We did end up winning. We did win. There was a stretch where, Brian, we were worried. Well, come on. We dominated the first game. Then you guys just started picking on little Chase. Just left me out of it. We just couldn't let Bates serve. You injured him. Yeah, to give you an idea of how serious this was, Chase sprained his ankle during this game. The 23-year-old guy gets hurt.

Yeah. And Brian's carrying that side of the net. Then you put – I end up with Travis out there who's smoking a cigar while he's playing. Yeah, he had to play with three different people. Travis played. If Travis had just moved out of the way and just let me handle it by myself. Yeah. Travis also, not a big mover. You had a guy on your team smoking and another guy with a sprained ankle. Yeah. I mean, that's pretty good that you did what you did. And one more with a bunch of tattoos. Yeah. Yeah. That'll drag you down. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, tattoos don't seem like – not a lot of that on tennis courts, I don't think. I don't think so. I don't think so. Yeah, but he was – I mean, the key was just not to let him serve. Once Bates served – I mean, he ripped me apart serving. Yeah.

And so it was like if we could get him not to serve, we could handle, like we could do some stuff and charge the net. But, I mean, yeah, me and Aaron, we won the last two games. But, I mean, the first game where he had just chased one person, it was wild. And he was dominant all the other games. We just, we made, me and Aaron talked. You attacked his teammates. Me and Aaron talked and we figured some stuff out and we came at it a little different. Yeah. Wow. But it was fun. It was fun. Yeah.

What was that game we played with the dice? Grego. Yeah, that was fun too. I've never played that before. Yeah, Grego. Some other people know this game as the dice. It's like you've got to roll dice. You roll the dice, and it's the first one to get to 100. And you can stop at any point. So you can roll your dice and get to 25 and almost stay there.

Because if you roll a one, you go back to the last point that you either stopped at. If you roll two ones, snake eyes, you go all the way back to zero. We played it with my nieces and daughter and all them. And then we put some money out there for them and whoever wins. And we did it over Christmas. They got into it, man. It's...

It's not meant for a game for children. The stress...

Yeah. Because it's, you know, you kind of like stop. And so you roll and like you could try to go zero to 100. It's very hard to do. And so you're adding a dice. So it's two twos. You're like four. And then the next one you add, you're like getting an eight. So now you got 12. And then you can stop where you want to stop. So you're just slowly building up. And so the kids were doing it. We had them doing that. I didn't really think about it. And then it's just the emotional toll it takes on kids.

10-year-olds is a ton. So they are stopping at like, they get to like 22, stop. Then they get to like 32, stop. They're just stopping the whole time. And my niece, Maya, bless her heart, she got all the way to like 98 and then rolled two ones. All the way back down. Goes back to zero. So she's a mess when this happens.

And then Harper just sits there and then slowly gets it back up. These are Harper Meyer, the ones that came up with Bob Ripple pants. Right. They heckled me all weekend. Yeah. And so then Harper ends up winning. And then once she won, she walked away from the table, and then she was emotional, and I didn't realize that, and she cried. And so then I'm like, well, I'm making this. This was not my best parenting. This is one that they –

They would bring up and they show, well, what about that day? You're like, that was not a good day. That was not my strong suit. And I had to, and Harper split, they split, Harper split the money and they, but it was like, we kind of learned a lesson. Like that was like, whew. Like that was a lot. I think that's good though. Put a little stress, you know, get, get, yeah. They had it. There was a thousand bucks on the line though. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. Okay.

We split the 500. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was very stressful, and it was like, backwards, you're like, yeah, yeah, this is not, why did I think this was a good idea? And then my dad, because my dad put in money, too, because he thought it was a good idea. But I got to say, we're big game people.

Yeah. You know, a lot of games, a lot of make-up games, either made up or it's a game we played, but we like some games. I think guys in general, when we get together, we become kids again. We were in the dressing room in Johnson City. Aaron takes a coat hanger, throws it, tries to hook it on a pole. Next thing I know, we got a game of horse going with a coat hanger.

Dusty walks in. I thought he was going to chastise us, and he goes, can I get in on this? Now there's three of us playing horse with a coat hanger. Why didn't I get in? At one time we said, Nate's preparing for the biggest show of his life, and we're in here playing horse with a coat hanger. I think I would like to play horse with a coat hanger. Well, next time we'll get you in. I'm never going to have you all out again. I know. That's the hard part. You know, we were in the one dressing room, so we were just in there like, well, let's do something. Yeah.

I had a pretty good shot with a coat hanger though. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool, man. Nobody talks, nobody talks about it. I mean, we stopped at H cause nobody else could do it. Yeah. Uh,

So, yeah. So, fun time. Johnson City was great. They were all so nice. People asked about the inmates afterwards. We got emails about it. Oh, really? Yeah. People said, what was with all the inmates there after the show? We saw them walk by us after the show. I don't know. I think they were there to help clean up. Yeah, yeah. I think that happens in some of these places. I've seen some other places.

When I was in Arkansas somewhere, there was a group, and it's guys that are like went to jail, and they got to get sober, and then they go, you know. Because we talked to one of them. He just came up and talked to us. I mean, you know, they don't know what they're even doing, and he's talking to us. And then we tell him, well, we're comedians. And he goes, let me see this kid, 21 years old.

Did I tell this story on here? No. Yeah, you did. I did, yeah. And he goes, let me see some of your act. He tells me to just do my act in front of him. And we're like, well, that doesn't really work like that. And he's like, come on. He's like, come on, I'm in jail. Yeah. Give me a joke. Yeah. He was, yeah, changing his life, which is good. But yeah, there's a lot of inmates. Hopefully. That was Dusty's meet and greet line. Yeah. Yeah, the inmates were, they came to watch. Yeah.

Yeah, we don't know what it was. We saw them walk by with a sheriff kind of behind them. It looked like it was if you saw a teacher with kids walking them, you know. They were going around. So, yeah, they don't really give you a big heads up about that.

Not that you would, you know. It was wild to look out the tour bus door and just see a ton of people in orange jumpsuits had just passed by. Yeah. You don't see that a lot. You don't see a lot of road. You still see some, but you don't see a lot of road crews anymore. They must see it in John City because they, no heads up. No. I mean, they're, you know, and there was kids. There's a lot of kids driving around at night doing wheelies and stuff.

They just come over, and they were driving by us. They were yelling at us because it seemed like a bunch of 80-year-old men playing tennis ball, picket ball, and just going like, you know. What was that other game y'all played that I did not get in? Wall ball. Wall ball, yeah. They had a wall ball was I got hit.

Yeah, even after we said no more hitting. No more hitting. Because it was – it's a game you play growing up. Wall ball was the best. Very easy game to get hurt at. By the way, it rained. It poured that day. So we're on this tennis court that's very –

Very wet. A slippery tennis court. Yeah. And so we found a wall. And so because we were playing, it was dark. A lot of times we would throw football and stuff. And we always do it pretty late because it's like, you know, you get done with the show, you get kind of fired up. Like, you know, it's not the old days of going out partying or something. You know, you're just kind of like, let's do something. And so we were playing and it was wet. And then so we go over to the tennis court. And so then I ended up at a wall there. So then we start throwing wall ball.

And I was like, you know, wall ball, I don't know. Imagine everybody knows. I don't know. I don't know if it's a Southern game or if it's an all-kids game. I don't know. I played it all the time. Yeah. What's the game? So...

Probably not a trailer park game because the ball doesn't bounce back. You don't have a lot of sturdy walls. You don't throw a ball and it's aluminum. It just drops. There's no brick structures. Yeah. The tennis ball just off the rocks. I mean, ricochet everywhere. You throw a ball at a wall in a trailer, you're knocking off paintings and photos and...

So you throw a ball against the wall, and then you catch it, and you throw it back. If you drop the tennis ball, so if you try to catch it and drop it, you have to run and touch the wall before someone grabs the tennis ball and throws it either at you or the wall. You are at the wall. Okay. And if they hit you or the wall first, then you're out. Okay. But if you also catch it in midair. Mm-hmm. So...

So we're playing that, and then I was like, y'all started before me. I went and changed. I was like, it was one of those, I was like, I had like, you know, some sweatpants on. I had something. And then some joggers on. And then you're like, oh, we're about to get after it. So let me go put some shorts on. And so then I come back, and then I was like, hey, no, I know you're supposed to hit and wall ball the person, but let's just not do that. I got kind of a big weekend coming up. Yeah, I don't need to get hit.

I mean, none of us need to get hit. I don't have a black eye or I am a 44. I just don't want to get hit by tennis ball anymore. I'll play the games, but like, I don't need to. And, uh,

Then immediately Aaron's like, well, I already hit Chase. He drilled Chase. So then we play, and then Chase hits me. It hits me hard. Pretty hard, yeah. Yeah, in the back. But then I also slid into the wall one time and, like, jammed my wrist up, and I was like, I can't go out there and Bridgestone with Chase.

So that's when we switched because it was like – because you run so hard at the wall. Yeah. You could say the wrist injury was maybe why you didn't play pickleball as well. Could be. That's probably part of it. That's why Brian played so well because he sat out wall ball. He sat out wall ball. So he had a fresh body. Played so well because I dominate. Yeah. He does good. I mean, he just – the serve, it was a perfect size court for you.

Every, the elements were all in your favor. Tennis ball, wooden racket, and just smaller tennis court. It was just perfect. It switched from late at night, old person, all elements were against me to now it's all perfect for me. It was perfect for you. Did you have some flashback to those horse moments? Yeah, Brian's a deceptively good athlete. He did dominate me in horse one time outside of a hotel.

And that was late at night with low lighting too. So maybe that's kind of where you thrive. Yeah. Because now we, our eyes work like his eyes. Even playing field. Yeah, even playing field. That night man. Yeah. You're like, man, it's hard to see. And he's like, looks like it's noon right now to me. I'm like Bane in Dark Knight. Oh, yeah. I was born in the dark. You think darkness is your ally? I was born in it.

All right. So then, by the way, we were all on the bus except Dusty. Dusty drove himself to Johnson City and then drove back. So we appreciate you hanging with us, Dusty. That's why I missed the tennis court game. I went back to my hotel and went to sleep. Yeah, yeah. Because you had to get up and drive back. But that was fun. I'm glad to, you know, saw you a little bit. Yeah.

Had a great time. I will talk to you more today on this podcast than I talked to you the entire two days on this show. Yeah, probably so. Probably so. I knew we'd be back here on Monday just hanging. Yeah. I didn't want to overdo it. Yeah. It worked out well for everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I think you guys might want some conversation where I'm like, I don't believe that kind of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. You may want to just have a normal conversation without hearing that. That's true. It was a beautiful night. A theory about it. Yeah. We didn't need to. Yeah. We loved it. We talked about the moon a little bit and it was nice just to, just to appreciate the moon without just going like. Just feel the cooling light of the moon without me having to tell you why it's colder than the sun. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh,

Uh, so then, so we wake up Bridgestone region. So when I woke up there, like, uh, I was kind of like, well, I want, I kept everything normal. Cause I didn't, I was like, if I go home or if I go, like, I was going to see everybody. I was like, I just didn't want to be running around town. So I was like, we just did it like a normal gig. Woke up there and went and ate, you know, hung out at Bridgestone. But the show was, uh, then the show starts, it filled up, everybody destroyed. Uh, everybody did great. Uh,

It was very overwhelming. I mean, it's even hard to wrap your head around today. I'm posting it today. We're announcing it. But I mean, I announced it that night. It is the largest crowd that's ever been at Bridgestone Arena. Insane. 19,365 people. And the stage was so small.

The stage could fit in this room. Oh, yeah. For sure. And that was probably the craziest thing to me, just to be like how small that stage was.

Yeah, tight turns. Yeah. It really reminds you of like old WWF back in the day where they had these huge, they would be doing the Royal Rumble and they would have these huge stadiums and just this little ring in the middle. Yeah. And then, you know, even the walk to the stage felt like that. When I walked back, I was giving fives to people like I was in WWF. I loved it. I kept waiting for your music to play while I was up there. You just to come in and interrupt my set. Yeah. Yeah.

Body slam hit you with a chair. And we did sound check. Dusty walked out there. Dusty thought that the stage was going to rotate. Yeah. Yeah.

I thought on your special, the stage was rotating. It was going to turn. I thought that it turned a little bit the whole time you were on the stage. So Dusty was thinking, I'll just stand still. The stage will do the work. The round is what I had in my mind the whole time, is that it spun a little bit as you go around. Yeah. Like not fast. You're going to hold on. It would be very funny to do one and have it go pretty fast. And then you're like...

Wow, that's tough. But Nate did, what'd you do, an hour 10? Yeah. Something like that. If it did one rotation for Nate, we did seven minutes for us. It would just have to really go fast. Weird thing is one of those things on a playground that spins around. A merry-go-round? Is that what it's called? Yeah. I thought a merry-go-round had the horses on it. Really? Yeah. What did you call it?

I don't know. I just called it the thing that spins. The thing that spins on the playground. That's what you thought it was called? The thing that spins on the playground? I thought it might have a name, but I thought a merry-go-round was the horses at the mall. No, I think people would say that. Yeah. But it's, yeah. It's a carousel. It could be a carousel. A carousel is a camera. No, no, no. Maybe named after the ride. All right, all right. Anyway. Yeah.

Just sitting there flicking Travis on the side of the stick. But, you know, I'm thinking... He's got the upper body to do it, too. He could do it. He's faster than one rotation an hour. But, you know, still, I thought... They do it with bands because...

They move, but even when I was in the round, they don't because you're just moving the whole time. Yeah. With their special, I really thought that stage was spinning a little. I don't know why, I guess. I love the round because I love the pacing of it, and you're just kind of always making a circle, and it makes you move. Did you like it? Because y'all have never done it. I've never done it. It was hard. A little hard to get used to at first.

And at one time, I'm like, I feel like I may be going too fast. Yeah. Like, I feel like I'm really making some rotations here. I'm dizzy, and I don't know how to get off stage now. Yeah. So at one time, I stopped and started going the other direction. Yeah. Just to mix it up a little bit. But it was... You got to, like... I mean, it takes time. You got to get used to it. But you got to get to... Eventually, you get to a point where you're not... It's in your mind a little, like, to make sure you keep moving forward.

But it was, you just, you know, because you kind of go back and I'll do a circle, then you go back the other way, and then you just kind of always. Yeah, I mean, several things I felt like were at play at once, right? For one, I'm not used to performing for 19,000 people at one time. And then I'm doing. 365, 19,000. Yes, yes. And I'm doing a bit of a shorter set that I'm used to, and then I'm on a different stage that I'm used to. So it's like.

I mean, it was exciting, but I'm like, I'm up there. Like, like Brian, I'm like, I'm moving because I feel like if I'm not moving, the people behind me are not getting a show. Yeah. So I'm like, I got to move, but that's not, I don't even move around much at all on stage. Yeah. That's why this is, I mean, you're, you're going to move. I'm not a big mover around either, but that's going to change as you're, you're about, you're, you're doing some theaters and you're doing stuff and you won't,

You're never going to move enough to be out of what you are, but you end up having to, as the places get bigger, you just do a little more movement. No one's ever going to think we are big movers on stage, but we will feel... I mean, I'll feel like I'm just like...

animated going crazy but it's you're never gonna be like Dane Cook or Chris Rock pacing the stage like you just it's but you do like it's nice especially when you're in like the round and the circle you can just feel like you can talk more with your hand I mean that's the whole that's what I'm trying to go for is like you're trying to make it be I want I want everybody to feel like I'm just talking to them and telling them the story like just which is me and one person hanging out

And so it's like you eventually just, it's kind of fun. Like it's, but you figure out like, oh, here's how you do it. And here's how you move. And it just gradually happens. Cause I was, I mean, I used to never, I didn't move at all.

Yeah. Like at clubs. Yeah. I still don't, I don't in clubs. I mean, I got a little, I got a little rock that I do kind of back and forth, but. Yeah. But adding the spinning element. Yeah. That's new. Yeah. You know, I'd like to have a chair at kind of either end of the stage. And as I get older and sitting down becomes acceptable, I could sit in one chair, walk to the other and then walk back. And then that'll be my move. Yeah.

Yeah. You have two chairs or just one chair? Yeah, two chairs on stage. So you just go walk and sit in between the chairs? Yeah, back from one chair to the next. I think people will be thinking about that a lot. I think so. Yeah. That's what I'd like to do. Yeah. I think that'd be a lot of fun. Yeah. Yeah, I could see. You get to a day where you're like, hey, I'm going to go sit down out there. That'd be nice. You got to reach a place. You got to reach a point. Yeah. And I think when you're old enough, then you go...

I got to sit down. Old enough or big enough? Yeah. And I don't know which ones will come first. You know what I mean? You know, being old enough or big enough and you can sit down. The majority of people look like they were watching on the Jumbotron. So there was always cameras. No matter where you are, they were seeing your face. Every time you turn, they were so good at cutting to a different camera angle. Yeah.

Yeah, I was working on trying to get a bigger circle going because I felt like at first I was doing too small of a circle. Yeah, me too. Almost like I was just spinning around. Me too. Like a figure skater. Yeah. Just wobbling around like that. The first time, the first big laugh I got, that felt, that's an odd sensation for it to come from everywhere. Yeah. Because you're just so used to it just coming straight at you. Like a six-minute mark. Yeah. Yeah.

When you brought up Dusty. That did feel good to bring Dusty up. Yeah, big applause. Aaron killed. Yeah. And then yesterday we're in the car and Ruth said, you know, I really like that Aaron, that Carhartt joke is really funny. And then later on she said, I like that she, and then the third time she's like, I really like that baseball card. And I was like, enough. Yeah.

His wife thinks I'm the worst comic in Nashville. I'm sick of you talking about how great Aaron is. I had someone in the meet and greet line told me my car joke was great. Really? All right. And I appreciate it, man. I came up with that on today. My neighbor was at the show. A couple of neighbors. Did you come up with that joke on today? Because you said it earlier when we were hanging out. I had had a bit about it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

But my neighbor talked about how much they liked you, too. Yeah, you were great. But I wasn't doing the bit in conversation, just so you know. He was working it in. He tried it. He felt it. I mean, because I was like, I didn't realize you had the bit, and then you did the joke that night, and I'm like, is he just working bits on us? Because we had fun. We just walked around. That's the good thing. We got there early. I try to do that with these venues, especially if you're in these arenas.

You never know how long you're going to get to do this kind of thing. And then so it was like we walked – we went in everybody's suite. We went in everybody's – all the way to the top. I mean, we walked around for a couple hours. Yeah. Set out watching everybody. Downtown was so crazy. So many people were downtown. Yeah.

Even during the day, we had to start the show not to like 740, 745, because people just couldn't get in because there were so many people. And everybody was super cool about that. That's what I love, the environment that is in there and...

It's just really good people. Everybody, you know, everybody there is just, I mean, a wonderful person. And because you're like, you start late. Travis made an announcement about it. I think everybody's like, yep. No, that's understandable. Yeah, we get it. Yeah. And then they go, and they're just so nice. And it's so, it's, yeah, it's unreal. It was...

I almost, I did like, cause I was like wondering how to handle it. And I almost cried when I walked out. So I did a thing at the beginning, we showed like a video clip and then I walked out like from the kind of dressing room onto the stage with a camera following me.

And it was like I was trying to take it all in there. And I almost cried. Like, I would have cried, except I batted it down like a dude. But I would have cried. I mean, it was there. Yeah. Ten years from now, I wouldn't be able to handle it. But I'm still 44 is an age where you can keep your emotions in check. Right. And so I'm, like, holding them back down. But I was, like, I felt it hard. And right when I came out of the tunnel and then –

Because you really can't imagine. You're like, I don't know. You just feel like, oh, I probably know everybody here. You just always feel like that. And then I turned, and when I was going down the path, it was just such a blur. And everybody, I was giving high fives. And you just couldn't... I mean, I just couldn't even see in front of me. And then you go on stage, and then it's like taking it in. Then you're like, all right, well, we got to do a show. And then we do the show. I mean, it was...

For doing it in this big of a place, you know, we're going to do in some other arenas and stuff. Arenas are very, they are very fun. I thought it felt great. I know you're watching on a screen and stuff like that sometimes. But I do really honestly think it's about being together. Totally. And that's what makes it fun.

That's why you go see live stuff. And, you know, like in comedy clubs, obviously you're super close or whatever. But as the places get bigger, I mean, you want the experience to be as good as it can be. But like that's why the round was so good. And I mean, you can see those screens and you're just around a lot of people. And like that's – it's a big event. It's a big thing. People – I felt – I mean, I loved it. I felt the enjoyment of – I had to do a bunch of like –

Because when I'm at home, I get a, you know, I have a lot of, all my jokes are, a lot of them are involved somewhere in Nashville. And so like, but when you're at home, you get a name, like you get to name the actual place and you know people. And it felt like people knew it. Like, you know, it was, I know a lot of people traveled to this show to watch all of us that listen to this podcast and that means the world and we welcome you to be a part of us in Nashville and

But it was nice to be like, wow, there's a lot of... You could hear people getting the references. Brian asked up top how many Nashville natives there are, and it was a big pop. So there's a lot of just hometown people. Yeah, because that's starting to become not much of a thing. And so that made it even just more sweet. And then when I got everybody to hold the lights out, so I had...

Which we're going to post a video of it and you're going to see it. But like, so I, so all this started with, so when I was, when I started comedy, I was in Chicago, took comedy classes, Jim Roth, he was there. And when I would drive to open mics, I would always listen to Back Where I Come From. Go ahead. So the guy that taught your comedy class was at this show? Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. That's really cool. And then, so...

I would listen to, back where I come from, driving to the open mics, whatever. Because I was in Chicago, and I was like, I'm an old Tennessean. And it was just such a, it was like a song that was from home. Yeah. And so, and then even in New York, when I was with my, you know, Dustin Chafin, who's been here, and all the New York guys. It's like, I would always listen to it. I would listen to it for all, for a ton of shows, just because it was like, almost like a, because I love home. I love home. Yeah. Yeah.

And so, but I would stand out there when I was handing out flyers and it was two degrees and you would just kind of catch yourself daydreaming. The only daydream I would have would be to play Bridgestone and then play that song at the end. And it was such a far off dream that it wasn't even ever, I would say, I wouldn't say that I ever didn't think I could not do it. Like, but it was, it was, the dream was so far that it's you, you,

I didn't know how I would be able to do it. So it didn't really, like it never, I never thought like, well, that's what I'm trying to get to. And you just, the dream's so far away that as over this 20 years, as it got closer and closer, you start going like, you're like, oh, like I might be able to, this thing might be happening, which is a very weird feeling to have too, because it's something that's about to get finished. Yeah.

Like that dream is so far that I would never even, you just would think it's a dream to be like, oh, that's, I'm about to be done with that. And so, and I even was like, I don't know if I'm going to do it. Cause then I'm nervous about doing it. Cause I don't ever want to, it's like, I'm posting the pictures, but I, you know, you don't want to come off like,

like it's like look what I did or like I don't like that you know it never felt that way yeah well that's what makes you nervous about doing this I mean I almost wasn't going to do it but then it was like then I just it's I did also think about the 24 year old me that's like and you're like you can't be in this situation and not

do this, you know, not do this. I mean, that was the whole point. Also, what an accomplishment to just record a special and then do the biggest show that you... I don't know. I imagine this is the biggest show you've done. Oh, yeah. With new material. Yeah, it's crazy. I mean, yeah, it's insane. Yeah, it's unbelievable. Yeah, everything was leading up to this. Because that's what... So when we played the song and everybody held their lights up and so everybody was very polite for...

you know, to go along with me on that. I mean, everybody put the lights up. Bates has got a great video, just seeing all the lights pop up. And then we played that song and, you know, people singing it and it was insane. And it's the largest crowd. I mean, it's, it's truly the dream. It's, it's better than I could have dreamed it. It's, I mean, I didn't think I was going to be the biggest show ever. I didn't think all this kind of stuff like that.

But it's also a weird feeling because I was like, well, what am I going to feel? Like, what is after this? Because you don't, you know, that's hard. Like, you get this crazy dream that you don't expect to happen. It happens. And then you're like, I was worried. I was like, well, what am I going to, like, I don't know what I have. I don't know what other dream. I have a lot of stuff I want to do. But now I can't. I'm like, well, what other, like.

What other dream do I have? You need a dream because I like talking about or I think about goals and dreams. I might talk about four. And this is just talking about this show, so it's not being funny. We'll be funny soon. But I think when you want to do something or if you have a dream of something, I think it's good to – I always say I always had goals that were very –

kind of goals that you could check off. So the beginning was like, well, I don't want to bark. I don't want to hand out flyers anymore. So that was your first goal to be like, well, how do I not have to hand these flyers out? So those are the, those are the real realistic goals that you're working out. This playing in this Bridgestone is like, I'm not even thinking about that. I'm just trying to get off this corner of handing flyers out and just, how do I just get spots? And then once you do that, then you're like, all right, well now I want to be able to, I want to get past all the clubs where all the clubs I can go play there and,

It's little kind of things. Then some of it's even like, I want to be able to stay in a little better hotel. I want to bring an opener was a big one where you go, I want to be able to bring an opener. So how good do I have to get to where I can say, hey, I would like to bring my own opener? And the club's like, okay. Because the club wouldn't let you do it for a long time.

And so then it's like, that's a little goal. And then you, so like little goals, I always like having like little, and some of them should be fun. Like it should be, you know, I want to stay in a, I want to pick the hotel I'm staying at instead of having to get whatever hotel they had. So how do I get to, you know, that's, that's a little reward for me to go, well, I'm going to pick this hotel. Like, you know, now I get this hotel or now I get to, well,

When I fly, I don't want to have to do the 6 a.m. flight because it's the cheapest. What do I have to do to be able to be like, hey, I'm going to go fly at 10 a.m. or 11 a.m. so I don't have to wake up at 3 in the morning or 4 in the morning? It's all these little kind of things that you just – and your things just kind of change because those are – you can accomplish those.

Those you can go do. This you can't go do. I mean, we did it, but I'm saying- But those are all leading you in this direction. They lead to this. Now, I don't think, I'm looking back now and reflecting and realizing that now, but it's how this goal can become attainable is the-

150 little goals that I did to then you go, wow, well, now I'm almost, your goals are like, well, your next goal is the, you know, it's that dream. So it's not even, you know what I mean? Like, so it's, it just, you out of nowhere, you're like, oh, wow, the next goal is the thing I thought of 20 years ago. Yeah. So then I was worried. So then afterwards, you're like, well, am I going to be like,

do I have no motivation after? Am I going to be like, I was scared to be done with this show. I would tell you after this, after I taped the special, I've only thought of, I mean, I've thought about all the shows, but it's like, I've, this show was such a mark. Cause I was like, I have to have new material. It's at home. Like it was such a thing that I was like, how am I going to get a new hour by April? Like all this stuff. And even for the special come out, when I started touring, I needed the hour before that.

And so it was like everything was kind of like this was such a big thing, and it's going to be such a big thing for a lot, for everybody. And so I just wanted to get done with it. But the good thing is when I got done with this, I felt very like, all right, now I'm getting back to work. Like that's what it kind of felt like. I didn't feel like it was like, well, I'm aimless. I don't know. I kind of have a fantasy dream. I don't want to say it, but I kind of have one.

I'm not positive if it's it. I mean, it's, you know. Let's hear it. Huh? You don't want to say it? No, I don't know. You got to start a band like Kevin Costner. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. That's what happens. You get too big, and then you're like, well, I got to get into a new art form. Be a painter. Yeah. Like President Bush. Oh, yeah. No, I want to, yeah. What involves Dateland and the Dateland world that we're- Titans are building a new stadium. Yeah. They do a dome. Yeah, yeah. I mean, look, playing Titan Stadium, I did think that, I thought, you know, they could do a new dome. Like, you could do something like that.

I mean, I want to play Madison Square Garden. We're doing Red Rocks. I want to do all the touring stuff. But it was, the dream has to be, like, it has to be, I don't know if you get to choose it. Like, I don't think I got to choose this. This just, like, popped in my head because I listened to that song. And, like, you know, like, you daydream. Like, I'm not going, like, the little goals, I'm choosing. But I don't think you get to choose the...

I think it just kind of has got to be there. Like you have to think about it and be like, can you imagine if it was that? And you're kind of telling yourself that. Well, you choose to a degree, right? But if nobody likes what you're doing, then you don't get to do any of them. Yeah. You choose the dream. But I mean, I'm saying like it's your farthest dream. It's got to be the farthest one.

It's got to be the one you're embarrassed to say to people because they're going to go, well, how would you even do that? And you wouldn't have an answer to know how you do that. So that's why you don't say it because you're kind of embarrassed to say it because when you're thinking about it, it sounds stupid. And when you think about it, it's so far off that you're like, well, I know I can't get this. Or I don't know when I can't get this, but it's...

You know, it's going to come when it comes. And it's not like you're even working towards this goal, this dream. Because, I mean, it's just so far off that you don't let yourself, like, almost tie to it too much. And then that's why you put all the, like, that's why when I look back, I was glad that you put all the little stuff. Because you're also preparing yourself to go, like, well, what if this doesn't happen? So then, you know, because you can talk to someone and say, well, if it doesn't happen, I've still got, I feel happy where I got.

So I have little stuff that like, I think it's got to be a dream that I'm figuring this out as I'm talking because it actually makes, now it makes sense. It's got to be a dream that you can talk yourself out of being okay not to get. That's the dream that has to be because that dream is your deep, deep, deep, like you want to do it, but you think it's so impossible that you also are going like, hey, but you don't have to do this and you still would be very happy. Yeah.

And like, you know, and like, that's why it's like, if you can, if you can picture wherever you're doing and whatever you're in life or in your family, it can be anything that you want, but whatever you want, if you can picture some like lunacy dream that you go, well, if I don't get it, I'm going to be completely fine. Like,

And it feels so far off that you're like, well, that doesn't even make sense. Like that thing, it might not, that thing might, you know, I could have been like, well, Bridgestone might not even be a thing in 20 years. So like, it doesn't matter. Like all these things that you can make up, that's kind of got to be the, and that's got to be far off. And then you let that just sit. And I don't think you should tell people because it's, it's, it's, it should be too embarrassing to tell people. It should be like, who do you think you are?

Right. And you just let it be there. And you don't know when you're going to get there. So there's no timetable on it. It's just end of life. It's just open-ended.

And so like what, you got to let that just be that. And then you go, then go get to work and be like, all right, let's start doing the mini goals and achievements that are like, I want to do a late night set. I want to, you know, I'm just speaking with comedy. It can be whatever. But it's like, I want to do a late night set. I want to go do, I'm going to get up every night beginning. I'm going to do open mics. I'm going to go up every night. I'm going to do, what things can you check off? And those should be very close. Those should be very attainable.

And it's not like you go tell everybody those goals either, but they should be, you just should be able to, you should be able to be just accomplishing goals. And so the goal should be easy enough that you, you at least learn what it feels like to accomplish a goal. Yeah. You got to have wins. You got to have wins. It's tough to keep going if you got no wins. If you're at the beginning, that's impossible. Right. I mean, I, it's insane. Mad Square Garden is insane. Red Rocks is insane. That's, this stuff is insane. So it needs to be impossible. Yeah.

But give yourself wind so you at least feel what it feels like. So you'd like, you know, that's what like comics, like learn how to destroy with a set. I know you want to think you have to have new material all the time when you're first starting. You need to learn how to like really murder with a set, how to like just get these big laughs because you need to know what that feels like. So then when you go up,

You know what you're trying to search to. If you don't know what it feels like, then you're, it could all feel bad. And then you're like kind of whatever. Yeah. If you try new material all the time and you, and you're bombing all the time, you're never, you're never going to feel good enough about comedy to keep going.

You know, I mean, that's what people do though. Or they'll come out with a set that's not good and they just keep doing it and they don't change it and they keep bombing it. Yeah. Yeah, you got to have wins. I always say that. You got to have them. Well, when you get married, then you have a family you're thinking about to support. Then you have a daughter. You want to make sure you're just doing well enough to take care of her. Yeah. You have all these goals along the way. Yeah, yeah. And then with term life insurance from Fabric by Gerber Life...

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Fabric was designed by parents for parents to help you get a high quality, surprisingly affordable term life insurance policy in less than 10 minutes. It takes less than 10 minutes. My dad was ready for me to just quit comedy after he saw me bomb. And so it's very fun. Well, he, when he goes up, I mean, he's, he's obviously, so he's been doing this for 50 years. Like he's so good. And he's so, I mean, he just destroys and he's so funny and it was perfect. It was perfect. And yeah,

It was, everybody was, and the whole night was perfect. And that's the audience letting that happen. And like I said on stage, like, I mean, everybody that comes to this stuff, everybody that listens to this podcast, everybody watches the specials that we were making and doing and

You know, I could never pay you back for this kind of, for supporting this. But I can hopefully just give you, you know, if it's Nate Land is behind it, then it's, you know, you should be able to watch with everybody. Which we are doing shows at Zany's. The next little phase of this is, it's called The Showcase. We're shooting it April 24, 25, 26. It's coming up.

And I'm going to host the 24th. So these three guys are hosting the show, and we're having like six comics or something on each night or something around that. And they're all doing short sets, and they're all going to be clean sets. And this will be the – this is an exact thing that we are doing where it's –

It's like not saying all these comics are clean outside of this kind of thing, but if Nateland is the – Nateland label is on it, I want it to be the TV clean, the stuff that you grew up watching. And it's 24, 25, and 6. So everybody's hosting one night. You could come to every show if you want to. And we're going to have – I'm going to direct it. This will be another one I'll direct.

Genovations, who's doing ours, they're shooting it all. It's going to be, we're going to put out, I think put out a podcast as well and YouTube and Vecchione Special. I mean, it's way up there. Views, 600,000, 7,000 overviews.

And everybody's loved it. Greg Warrens comes out this week, April 21st. The 21st. 21st. So his comes out. So, you know, this world is being built. Last night you hit 100,000 subscribers. Oh, wow. Yeah, look at that. That's awesome. Big time. That's crazy. Well, this is the next step, Nate. You've done all these things, and now you're helping other people. Not to be corny, but now you're helping other people.

Do the same thing. Yeah. Well, it's, I mean, it's the goal. That's the thing. I feel like that's the pact we all sign. Yeah. When we sign up, you're like, if one of us makes it, we should all make it. Or all somewhat, you know. And I think everybody would have done it for me. And then this audience, I mean, you go look at that Bridgestone, and I'm looking at these places we're going.

I mean, there's just these people, you know, it's Christians, non-Christians, it's, you know, Republicans, Democrats, it's all, they just, I mean, just have fun. Just be a show. And you're seeing the audience is massive. That's crazy. Yeah, it was awesome. I'd like to give a shout out to Brian Bates, though. I mean, to Cold Open.

19,000 plus. And it was great. I mean, it's like you walk out, there's no host. There's no, nobody even bring into the stage. I don't think. No, they just, did they? Yeah. Travis announced it. Okay. But I mean, you come right out there and I was like, it was great. And my voice for most of the day, it was really struggling. Yeah. There was a time I was like, I don't even know if I can do this. And I thought Dusty was going to give me some words of wisdom. He said, you know, someone said,

There's not enough people to really even matter. And then he said, but tonight there's 20,000 people, so it will matter. Someone told me, and they were talking about shows, and they were saying, it'd be like a show that's half full. And they'd go, well, there's not enough people here to ruin your career. And I'm like, tonight, there is. Tonight, there is. So suck it up. You know what I mean?

Dusty brought me some herbal tea, and I'm like, I don't know if I want to know what's in this. It's concerning to know what Dusty put in there. I hooked it up, and you had a great show. Yeah. It worked. I still don't want to know what's in there. Yeah. You'll find out in a couple years.

I thought I'd find that on stage. Yeah. I wouldn't do that to you. Some of you guys' comments. This is from the Bible and recycling comments. Nolan Foley. Foley. Nolan Foley. I have trouble with that one. Nolan Foley. You really took some time with that F. Nolan Foley. I think I can handle Nolan, and I'm very surprised by the Foley comment.

You don't see it coming up? I don't see it coming. A few letters from now? I would have. It's almost like it wants to rhyme, Nolan Follin. Yeah. And then it trips you up at the end. That's interesting. No Foll. No Foll. Yeah. Yeah, I would have to go. I'd call him one. And I like the name Nolan. And I like the last name Foley. Just not together. Nolan Foley. I think a lot of people are fine with it. I would have trouble. I would call him just one. The Foley's.

We need more double-topic episodes. The flow back and forth between the Bible and recycling is fantastic. There we go, Nolan. I don't think that was the plan going in, but it was fun how he weaved in and out. Yeah, it was good. Paul Antonio, if this podcast is an indicator of how well the average American knows the Bible, no wonder this country is in the mess it's in.

Well, I can't disagree with you there, Paul. I'll tell you that. Well, I do disagree. I feel like I know the Bible pretty well. Well, I mean the podcast itself. I feel like I know the Bible pretty well too, but for the topic being the Bible, we barely dug into it. I did. I...

dumped out pretty quick. Yeah, you jumped shit pretty fast. I did too much. I felt like I'd killed the momentum of the show, and so I kind of moved on to recycling a little too fast. Yeah. But yeah, so I agree with Paul, but I thought it was great. Yeah, it was, you know, you can, there's plenty of stuff, podcasts about the Bible. Yeah.

So there's a balance that you're trying to have of just... Yeah, yeah. This is not the Bible podcast, but I just agree with that statement. Yeah, yeah. No, that's right. That particular episode. Yeah. If you click on it, you go, oh, this is about the Bible. And two seconds in, we're like, well, what about recycling? Yeah. The subject said Bible and recycling. Yeah. I mean, we talked about the Bible some, but I admit that I kind of bailed on it. Yeah. Yeah.

We had a nice little Bible talk in Johnson City. Yeah, we did. I mean, I'm always down for it. Yeah. Dusty and I have plenty off mic. Yeah. Yeah. Ross Andre. On the subject of recycling, I run one of the largest food waste recycling facilities. We take food waste and compost it into organic fertilizer for our row crops. We can boast...

We can boast that even with all the material that comes in, only about 3% can be utilized or reused. Cannot. Cannot be utilized or reused. So some recyclers are actually making a difference. That makes me feel a lot better. That's good. But food recycling, though, right? This is not plastic or glass or... Yeah, but at least that's nice to be like, oh, this dude, this is like 97% is...

being reused. Yeah. So you're like, that dude is doing it, but that's with food. Food waste recycling facilities. So... Good for Ross, though. Yeah. How do you recycle food? Just compost it. Eat it. Yeah. Who... Restaurants, like...

Oh, I don't know. How does that food get there? What does compost mean? Well, I just put it in a box with other dirt and other clippings. And I'm still learning compost, but then you cover it, and then it traps in heat. And the heat and the worms break it all down to usable soil. Oh. And you just leave it in a box. And then you can take that out and use it to plant vegetables.

yeah plant stuff in so you're making your own soul yeah but with only like food scraps yeah or a cart you can do cardboard there's a few other things you can break down like that i'm not an expert on it i'm learning it but the soil gets deep so when you're done with your food at night y'all just dump it in a bucket or a box yeah i got a little thing out behind the house i just take it throw it in yeah

Yeah, I mean, my wife's not as into it as me. And you have raccoons that come around a lot? Yeah, I get some raccoons and some possums. Yeah. I trapped a raccoon. I wonder what the raccoon situation is at his food waste recycling facility. I mean, I wonder if you got to have it like a prison. It's got to be like a lockdown, like a prison. Yeah, electric fence. I mean, animals are just like, you know, all over. Shane Hightower.

All right. Well, it wasn't that. It was just that Dusty's answer was so dumb, I didn't even know how to reply to it. You're trying to get out of it to save Dusty. Yeah. No. No.

I've heard Dusty's argument many times that he's a King James version guy. I grew up on a King James version, but it's not the best translation. There's a couple I like, but I do like King James the best. He likes dragons. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I don't like the NIV. That's the one that I like to stay away from. The one most of the world uses? Yeah. It's tough. And that's why we're in a tough spot. We're going to go back to Paul Antonio up here. I'm a new American standard guy. I read the...

Bible for dummies. Is that a version you're going to say? I think there is one. I think that's the message. Yeah. The message. I think that's what that Bible is called. Yeah.

Daniel Craig. Watching four guys ask... Daniel Craig. Yeah. All right. Me, Daniel Craig. Watching four guys ask the question, why would anyone need to buy Ladybugs when their friend Mike just did a special explaining why, and one of those guys directed this special. Love the podcast. Thanks for staying on brand. Oh, yeah. Did he have a bit about that? I think so. I didn't watch much of his show. Yeah. Yeah.

He has a very funny joke about he has bed bugs. So he bought some ladybugs and unleashed them. They wear them down mentally. Yeah, that is very funny. Yeah, I do know that. I mean, I dealt with Mike with all his bed bugs. He was going through it, dude.

I mean, he would show up just at comedy club that night and be like, just no sleep. Yeah, dude. It's your whole life when you have it. He moved. I mean, we've talked about it for years. I mean, it was like such a big thing when he got them because he just got them and then he just couldn't. It's like it only would happen to Mike to get bed bugs and they just like would not go away. And then he just changes his whole life.

Did he get bit? Were bites showing up on him? Yeah. And then, I mean, just getting like, and they couldn't get rid of him. And then he's still, when he goes to hotels, he puts his suitcase in the bathtub. And I mean, he's, you know, he wraps his stuff in platinum. He's a, you know, he's a different person. He's like, he's like someone that went off to war. PTSD. Yeah.

Matthew Hawkins. When I was young and I'd be at the grocery store with my mom, she always had a joke she would say. When the person checking us out would ask, paper or plastic, she'd always say, it doesn't matter. I'm bisexual. Back then, I thought it was hilarious. Now, probably not so good. Well, I'm glad you made me read it. I love it. I think that's a great joke. I think so, too. Yeah, that's a fun joke. That's a fun mom joke. You don't like it?

It's all right. Who calls it a sack? It's a bag, right? It's a paper or plastic bag. We call it a sack. Yeah, but the joke doesn't work. I know. Well, you're forcing it then. Yeah, but I mean, you're doing a joke in a...

It's a fun, I mean, for that person, it's a fun grocery line joke. Someone to sack your groceries? I'm just playing devil's advocate here. Yeah, you got like a feed sack and a brown paper sack. Yeah, I think we call it a sack. A sack lunch. You called it a sack? If it was paper. Yeah. Are you serious? Do you ever take a sack lunch?

Oh, a sack lunch. Yeah. Okay, in a brown paper bag. Yeah. But you never go, hey, do you have any plastic sacks? No. I never do that. Plastic, we say bag. Paper, I'd say sack. You'd say sack at a grocery store? Yeah. I'd say bag, paper bag. Plastic sack. Somebody bags your groceries. They don't sack your groceries. I'd like them to sack it. Yeah.

I wish they'd sack my girlfriend. Yeah. I agree with Aaron on the back thing, but I think the joke is good. The joke's fine. I would laugh if somebody said that. I'm going to ask where they sack them. Well, this is a much different context. It's the way he delivered it. Well, you would be... This guy doesn't know comedy. Yeah.

You would be, yeah, you'd be at the end of the thing going. Behind him in line. You go, do you want me to hand you the sack then? Yeah, this guy is unbelievable. I'll take, cancel those Mentos fruits. Ryan Coyle, Cole, Coyle. I work in the aerospace industry and at a recent conference,

That's all just one sentence, right? I've been trying to slow down because I was getting quick. And then my brain was like, whoa. I work in the aerospace. If you said aerospace, you think you could work in that space? Arrow? Yeah, sure. Is that what it said? Is that how you say it? Aerospace, yeah. Aerospace. Yeah. Oh.

I thought I said it kind of different. You were starting to say aerospace. Aerospace. The aerospace. I work in the aerospace. That's different though, right? If you really sound it out like it's A-R-R-O-W, aero. Yeah. Like I work at the aerospace. Yeah. I think I would say that and they're like, oh, like Jander? And I go, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they go, oh, okay, okay. Yeah.

I work in the aerospace industry, and at a recent conference, a presenter said that a good rule of thumb to determine how much it costs to launch anything into space is to use the price of the same weight of solid gold, meaning that using the current price of $29,747 per pound for gold times the 268 million tons of trash

per year in just the United States, it would cost $15 quadrillion, $944 trillion, and $700 million each year to shoot just the United States crashed to space. If you just want to say space isn't real, that's okay. Yeah. But that's where you could be like, well, everybody's got to do it for free. Yeah. Right. We're making the money up. Yeah. But you still need physical resources.

to build these rockets. Mm-hmm. You know? And those have to, somebody has to get those. Here's an idea. But someone's making the, but like, we're the, yeah. Let's just float it with helium. Mm. Mm. There's a helium. He just cut it down. Yeah. That might be 40 bucks to me, like, to throw this trash up there. Go to Party City real quick. Yeah. That's super quick.

Bestie, tell me about what's going on Sunday. I'll tell you what. I love when the weather starts to warm up. Getting out in my yard and digging in the garden, it's one of my favorite parts of spring. And Sunday lawn care makes it easier than ever to enjoy.

Sunday, I do love this, by the way. I love to get out in the yard. I've been out there today already. Sunday is everything you need to get the lawn you've dreamed of. This spring, go to getsunday.com slash Nate and enter your address to get a customized plan created just for your lawn. Neil Rubenstein. Nate brings up old Chicago and Aaron says he's never heard of it. Meanwhile...

Just a few months ago, we went there together in Wichita. Glad I left such a strong impression. That is true. I completely forgot about that. Neil Rubenstein is a very funny comic who I worked with in Wichita, and we went there after a show. Wow. I didn't realize it was an old Chicago. Yeah. Wow. And how great was it? It was good. Yeah. It's solid. My bad. I'm sorry, man. Sorry, Neil. Was it as good as that pizza place we went to in Illinois that time? You remember that? That guy says it's the best place in...

And then he made fun of me about the pizza I was eating. You remember that? Yeah. The guy owned an Italian restaurant, and then we left and went to it. He's like, you got to check out this pizza place. Best pizza place in town, he said. Not his place. Yeah. And his place is shut down now. Yeah. Anyway. He didn't have that dream, you know? Yes, exactly. Right. His fantasy dream was just to get other people to go to that other restaurant. Yeah. Old Chicago commented. Oh, yeah. Did they really? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What'd they say? They said, thank Nate. They said, come on in. Get to it. Whoa.

Yeah, they apparently don't care if you spend some money there. Yeah, I mean, I ate Old Chicago that night. Ordered it right here, real time. Andrew Kahn. It's amazing to me that Nate is skeptical of every study from a major university that Balderdash brings up about any topic. But the moment it's brought up about how McDonald's chooses when to serve or not to serve breakfast, he says, I'd like to see that study. That's true. Yeah, I'd like to be involved in it.

But you don't want it to be conducted by a university. Technical school, maybe. Community college. I think a lot of studies are not done by people that are actually using the product. Yeah.

That's what I think. I think a lot of rules are made like that. I think a lot of stuff is made not by people that are being asked to use the thing. So you want McDonald's customers to put together this study? Yeah. That's what they should do. Do a Twitter poll and do something that... We've done that with our polls. We were asking the listeners at the beginning...

What to do, and I overwrote some of them. But you ask the people that are using the product. Right. They go like, well, I should listen to you. In the beginning, you ask people what to do on the podcast? Yeah.

Yeah. What were some of the things you overwrote? The beginning, we were a mess, so we didn't even... We were like, should we dance? We had no idea. What did we ask? Yeah, we were really asking. Like, hello, folks, and let's go, folks. Yeah. Some of the, like, how does... One of them was like, what should we call people who listen to the podcast? Yeah. Exactly.

It came down to Nate Landers and folks. I thought Nate Landers immediately, but folks is much better. Yeah. Folks is much better. And then so like, yeah, a lot of that stuff then was like, hello, folks. Let's go, folks. Like just a bunch, you know. And so it was like we would – but I think that, yeah, that's what it means. I think most every –

Borderline, every study is going to be not done by someone that uses it. But do you need a study for this? Or does McDonald's just have, I mean, so much data about what's being bought and when it's being bought, and then they know the cost of everything. They determine it's not worth it. So McDonald's did it.

Yeah, McDonald's. I'm saying I still would like to see the study. I still think you could ask. You want to see the numbers? Yeah. Look, McDonald's I would get. They're studying it to be like, this just doesn't make sense. So I understand that. There could be stuff that I think could be done a different way. In general, all studies. That's why I question all studies of other places. Okay. Because I don't think they're done by people that are using any of these products that are going out and having a regular life.

That's what entertainment is. Entertainment is not... You're not being entertained by people that are going out and having... With the audience in mind. They're looking down on McDonald's. They... Yeah. It's not...

When Adam Sandler talked about McDonald's and whatever, Adam Sandler feels like a guy that will go to McDonald's. Sure. There's some people that when he – because he made the movie when he was like – I thought it was 10, 30. It's 11. Yeah, Big Daddy. Big Daddy. But you're like, well, I believe that. I believe in Adam Sandler is the most successful person on earth. But it's like you believe that he's like a normal dude like –

Some of you don't believe me. What's shocking to me is that McDonald's is not a sponsor of this podcast.

They sent me Happy Meal stuff. But they did, funny thing, it was very nice. They felt like this was a long time coming. Oh, they said that? Yeah. That hoodie you wore last week, a lot of people commented, it looked like a Soviet Union. It does. Yeah. They thought it was the sickle and you put full axes of evil. Well, I stand with who I stand with. And yeah, there's a war going on. It's complicated, guys. And I chose my side. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, there's Nate's shirt. Yeah. It's basically what he wore. Yeah. I stay with the Soviet. I wonder if I can say the joke. I did say, we'll see if this is, it's just a joke. When I was at the Grammys, did I tell this joke here?

They had Zelensky talk at the Grammys. This was a couple years ago. So Zelensky comes out and gives his speech to the war and stuff. And the Grammys, I told Laura, once he got out, I was like, all right, I'd like to hear Putin's side as well now. I was like, it would be funny if they just did. They go, all right, that's his side, everybody. Here's Putin. He's going to tell you what he thinks, and then you get to decide. All right. Said that quietly to Laura. Gabriel DeJesus.

Gabriel de Jesus or Jesus. I was shocked to find out that in 2010, Ronnie Lee Gardner was given steak, lobster, apple pie, and vanilla ice cream all while watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy and then executed by firing squad. Who knew we were still using the firing squads to execute death row inmates in 2010? Turns out it is still legal in several states, and some states are talking about bringing it back.

I like it. Yeah, the kid that, or the dude that killed those girls in Utah or whatever, maybe not Utah, but somewhere, I just read, he might be firing squad.

The guy that went in that apartment and, you know. Yeah. And I think that Lord of the Rings trilogy, that's too much. You give him a third of one movie while he eats his meal. You don't get the whole trilogy. You can't just watch one, though. Those are good films. You don't get nine hours of movies when you're on death row. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but it's a bad news bait. It gives you some time. He knows the state where that's at. Yeah.

Yeah, but they time it up to be like, well, this is going to be in four days. So like, all right, you can, you know. Now someone commented that, and I'm sorry I couldn't find their comment later to credit their name, but when we were talking about Last Mills, that on the pilot episode of Raising Hope-

which I didn't watch because I'm not a Greg Garcia fan, but the... Well, that's a joke. The woman on death row, her last meal, she asked for a shamrock shake and a McRib, knowing that they're never out at the same time, so it delayed her execution for like five months. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, Greg's quite talented. Can you guess the states where firing squad is still legal? One's obvious, I think.

Oh, actually, no, not that obvious then. Oh. Texas is not one? No, that would have been the most obvious one. Idaho. I thought they just said they were doing that. Tennessee.

This is a bad idea. Utah, Oklahoma, Mississippi. Yeah. That's what I thought would be obvious. South Carolina. Okay. South Carolina ran out of lethal injection drugs. They had to bring back the firing squad. So hope they get that sorted out. Yeah. What do they do? First, it's like not everybody has a bullet. I think that's what they do. Not everybody has a bullet. You don't know who killed the person. So those people don't know. Oh, wow. I didn't know that.

Hopefully the person that has the bullet's a good shot. I wounded him. He goes, ding. He just hits the wall behind him. I guess we know who had the bullet. Guy's kind of off. Yeah, they stand. They've been standing in a circle. You watch John Wick when they do that one. They stand in that circle, and you're like, well, y'all better hit this person. Yeah. Hit each other. You're going to hit each other. Yeah. Yeah. Fire squad. All right.

Took a turn, sorry. Mickey Rainey. Mickey Rainey. I was disappointed to see that Nate's golf tournament didn't have a four-hole one-club challenge.

I would be in on that. I hope it went well. From Laura, she loves this idea. That would be a good idea. Maybe we will do that next year for my DCA golf tournament. Four entire holes? You only use one club? Yeah, my joke. So I'm a stand-up comedian. Oh, right. And I had a joke about a driver playing a – I don't know if I would do four holes because I enjoy it, but I think it would be great to have a hole be like you can only use your driver on this hole. Yeah, that would be fun. Yeah.

It's a par three. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And just see what everybody gets. That would actually be, no handicaps, no mulligans on that hole. Everybody's just got to use the driver. Joe Manick. Hello, folks. The animal bracket is so on par for the Nate Land podcast, and I am here for it. I got money on Hay Bear. Can't wait to hear more of the matchup breakdowns next week. Keep up the Lord's work.

We got to do another round. Oh, can we talk about how we do this first? Yeah. Tell us about electric e-bikes. All right. Yeah. While Aaron's pulling it up. Yeah. We're going to do this as Aaron pulls it up. Uh, there's no better way to get outside and enjoy the spring than with an electric e-bike. Uh, we, uh, yeah, my, uh, we, obviously a lot of people in town, uh,

My wife's family was in town, so they were over staying with us. And they rode around on electric e-bikes. I mean, it's awesome, dude. It's just so fun. It's so fun to ride around. In Amsterdam, I mean, so many people use them. In a piranha, its strength is in its numbers. Yeah. Right? They attack as a group. Yeah, but they're just nonstop. Why would it beat it? Because it couldn't bite it? Well, the puffer fish puffs up, and it has little spikes on it.

And then it would just, you know, stab the piranha. Yeah, but it's not, but I mean, you ever like, imagine if you had, imagine me and you getting in a fight.

And then you have spikes on your shoulder, and you've got to hit me with your shoulder. It's going to be pretty tough. But it would be my whole body. Not on your face. But you would come at me and try to bite me, and my whole body would be puffed up, and I would just get you in the corner. I don't think you'd be able to fight. I'd get you in the corner. Well, there is no corner in the river. Well, there might be a little crevice. I find it hard. I mean...

It's like I'll go after your tail. You have no spike on your tail. If I grab your tail and start. But I think that you're thinking that the puffer fish is just playing the defense, but it's got some offense too. Yeah, the offense is what swims its fat body over and tries to swing its spikes at you. Yeah. Well, I saw that, and they made some good points. And some people argued chimpanzee would beat a Komodo dragon.

I disagree with that. Whatever we pick, I think we got to stick with it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we're obviously not going to be right. Well, this is from Nick Sabadere, who studied biology and ecology at, doesn't say where, but he said the average bite force of a puffer fish is around 62,050 PA. I don't know what that means. I don't know what that unit of measurement is, but the strongest species of piranhas, it's around 12,000.

So just going off bite force alone, the pufferfish dominates the piranhas. I think we're really underrating the pufferfish. The pufferfish is a tough animal. But you weren't even thinking about it biting. No. So you just typed in, someone asked, could a pufferfish be the... Does a pufferfish have a stronger bite than a piranha? This question's been asked. We're thinking about like jigglypuff or whatever, but a pufferfish... Do you ever, do you pay for core? I don't, no. Man, that's one that I'm always wondering about.

Like, do I want to get? It seems fun. Everything always sends you there, and it gives you, like, one answer, and then it's like you got to pay for the rest. Yeah. Chorus seems like a good time. It's like a sophisticated Yahoo Answers. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. A little bit better stuff on here. Yeah, I always like, it's some fun stuff. I think we got to stick with what we go with. I mean, like, you can't, we're not going to look it up and see. Well, I'm not suggesting we change it, but I just want to, you know. We got voted. We got voted prana.

I think a piranha is, they're just like, you know, they're just going to, it's going to be chaos for the puffer fish. Yeah. And so the bite force, it's like, whatever, you know. But that's all the piranha has.

Yeah, but it has will. And the puffer fish is just floating around, just like, you know, if it gets scared, it's like, boop, puff. But think about this, though. Piranhas used to run it in crowds, so it might be afraid from the beginning. If it's just out there on its own. I think they're like zombies, dude. Like, they just, it's just a, like, they're going to just come at whatever. Look.

Here's what I'll give you. I think the piranha wins, but I think it... I think we're not doing the piranha again. I think the piranha will die in the next fight just because it's been poisoned and it's already weakened. But a piranha to me just feels like it's not going to let you. The puffer fish is going to be like, well, I'm stabbing it. It's not going to work. And he's just going to keep eating. Yeah. It's a zombie. It's a zombie. Right.

All right, so what was the next matchup? So what was the top? So we want to say. So just to recap, we had Piranha taking the puffer fish. We had a bear beating a gorilla. Yeah. We had a python taking out an alligator. Some people disagreed with that one. And we had a Komodo dragon taking out a chimp. What was some of the examples they disagreed with? They had examples of an alligator taking out a.

Yeah, it's fake news. But there's also examples of Python winning. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's case by case on that one. Yeah. Yeah. So down to the next section of the bracket, we're starting off with the- And they said the chimpanzee could be the- Some people did. But some people said no, Komodo dragon would kill it. Yeah. All right. We've got a bald eagle versus an owl. I think that's a barn owl is what it looks like. A barn owl specifically. Yeah. I mean, this one seems- I think owl. Owl.

Really? Really. Really, why? Well, I think owls are brutal, right? An eagle is mostly a scavenger, kind of. I think, right? But they have to fight. It's just so much bigger. Those big talons. I think it is. A bald eagle is so big in a way that you don't even realize. We don't see them that often. And an eagle knows it's an eagle. And they swoop down. Yeah, it's got the attitude of an eagle, for sure. They swoop down. I think we're underrating the owl, though.

I mean, they got talents, too. They got their head on the swivel. They never leave a barn, dude. Bald Eagles is out there. Well, where are we fighting? Are we out? Are we in the barn? Or are we out in a...

I think in the Roman Coliseum. That's how I'm picturing all these in my head. Yeah. All right. I like that. So they're all in the Roman Coliseum. Yeah. I like that. They're all on stage at Bridgetown. Yeah. Yeah. I like the Roman Coliseum. So they're in there and they're going at it. I think an eagle is just so much better. And eagles are ruthless, dude. Like they're, they are, you know, I mean, they're. But are there any corners in the Roman Coliseum? They go after bald people. I've said that in my act about how crazy eagles are.

I still go for owl, but I'm clearly outvoted. Brian, you want to weigh in? What do you think? I'm going with eagle. Yeah. I was with you on puffer fish, but I'm going to go eagle on this. Yeah, I'm going eagle too. Yeah. Next matchup. This is sort of the misfit toys section. We got a platypus versus an anteater.

One-on-one fight. I don't think this fight happens. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's what – this one I think it's going to be – We're poking them with a stick. Do something. You put them in there. Do something. It's going to be a tough one to get going. Wake up. Yeah. I got to go platypus myself. Really? I mean, I would think anteaters are just so big.

It maybe could walk on it. It accidentally would... I figured you'd say platypus don't exist. Well, it's a weird animal. I've not seen one in real life, but... Is it a duck-billed platypus? Duck-billed platypus, yeah. They got a flat tail that I think he could really whip this... He could hit its head. They're mammals, but they lay eggs. Yeah. Can we see how they... Can we look up... Just a video of a platypus? No, no. Just like how do what's... How do...

They attack. Like separately, like I don't necessarily have to watch a video. You got a video of two platypi attacking each other. Yeah. So it's like, yeah, how do they- They're great swimmers. Great swimmers. But there's no- But this fight is not in the water. I think we have water in the Coliseum. Oh, right. So, okay. That's not fair for the anteater. Kind of dual terrain. Yeah. Well, they- Shallow water. And they got to come in. Now, we're going into this. I think, yeah, it would be tough to make them fight.

It was just a ridiculous looking ant. Oh, he's eating... He really dominated that worm there. Do an anteater...

We saw nothing there. Attack. Yeah. Anteater just looks bigger. Yeah. An anteater could be... I'm trying to even wrap my head around them being attacking. It just seems to not even have a mouth, though. It's not even a good looking... Mm-hmm. These anteaters are crazy looking. They're big, man. The back of them almost looks like a peacock. It's the anteater. Look at that little mouth, though. It's got claws, crazy claws. Look at that little mouth, though. Crazy claws. Look at that back. Yeah. Look at the tail. Yeah.

Yeah. I think that duck-billed platypus would eat that little nose up. No, I think, look. Oh, dude, oh, it charges. This thing's going after a dog. But that dog's like, what is that? That's a big part. You got two things that are like. I can't wrap my head around that. I can't either. That might be the strangest looking animal I've ever seen. Yeah. Yeah. It looks like something a kid draws and you're like, that's just. You almost could argue you don't know which one's front or back. Yeah.

But I think... You're right. Well, it's just such a weird... Because one needs water, one needs land. I think... Look, I think Zan, Anteater is so much bigger and has crazy claws. But does it have claws, though? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's got to dig. This whole thing is digging for ants. But I thought it just stuck its snout down there. No, they got to dig the hole, dude.

They got to dig the hole. I mean, you got a platypus that's swimming, so it has like the flippers. Yeah, look at these giant anteater claws. But let's see platypus claws. They don't have claws. They have flippers. They're like, they got to swim. Yeah, they got little, yeah. Yeah. They got nothing. A platypus is cute.

You know, an anteater is not cute. An anteater is like a, it's sad. I just think it's, where would they even fight, though? If they're on land, clearly the anteater. Well, the platypus is a mammal. It does need to breathe. So once it comes up, it's over. I wish we could see an anteater swim.

I'll let you. This one's a tough one. We can allow looking at an anteater swim. Let's do it. You'll suspend the rules. Let's see an anteater swim. All right. If they can swim, we'll give it to them. They love the water. Now, it's approaching the water, not very confidently. It's kind of sniffing around, and then it jumps in. And then it jumps in, and it's just... So it is comfortable in water. Yeah. Well, it's got that big old tail. Yeah.

I mean, it swims. All right. It can swim. I'll give it to the anteater. Yeah. I mean, it's struggling, but I'll give it to it. It's not the greatest swimmer. It looks like me swimming out there. Stay close to the wall. It immediately hugged the wall. It does. It gets in, and it definitely looks like someone that would swim with their shirt on. Yeah. Yeah. That's what- Yeah, for sure. Picture someone swimming with their shirt on, and that's what an anteater swims like. Yeah, almost got attacked by that duck. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It does get in. Yeah. It's like, well, how, like the anteater, right before he gets in, he goes, well, how deep is it? Yeah. That's a yeah. Yeah. And he stays near the side. Oh, he's getting out now. Now he's getting out. Look at him. Oh, he's got a baby on that. Where's that baby? It's back. It likes the water. It just drowned its baby, but it's, and it could be looking and have its mouth up like a submarine. Well, what if the platypus were to just squish the nose of the anteater and it couldn't breathe? Yeah.

That's the only chance it would have. Submission. But I mean, the claws are just... I'm thinking it can't reach it because he's got the mouth closed and he's like, he's tapping. But they both got that weird mouth. Platypus has to have a lot going on for him. Has to have a lot going on for him. It has to be, yeah. Everything has to go perfectly for the platypus. Anteater can show up on a bad day.

and take them out, I think. Yeah. I think we're going anteater. Yeah. Now it's heating up. It's getting a little more interesting. Got some heavy hitters here. We got a polar bear versus a tiger. Yeah. Are we in this now? It's in the Coliseum. So I think I would say as we're making this game up, each animal gets their strength in the Coliseum. So if one can get one to the other thing, that plays into it.

Okay. So you would have snow for the polar bear, and the tiger has some trees. So you could go on intelligence, which one could lure. I think the tiger could lure the polar bear easier than... I don't think a polar bear is luring anything. I think it's a follower. Straight up fight, I don't think a polar bear wins at all. I mean, I think a polar bear wins completely in a straight up fight. But the tigers are so...

They're smart. They just... But polar bears do that too. That's why they're white. They camouflage in the snow. They sneak up on people. They don't turn white. It just worked out in their favor. It's not like they're just... They turn white over time. That's natural selection. Anyway. I know, but they don't go just, I'm white now. I'm Charles Darwin over here. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it's not a chameleon. It's not like superpower. If it was a superpower, then I would get it. I do think Poe will bear it. I know. So a tiger...

is just, you know, a tiger's, this is what a tiger loves. He loves it. He loves the hunt. He loves the game. Yeah. But when we're in grizzly bear conversation, we don't think tiger could take a grizzly bear, right? Well, don't get ahead of yourself here. Yeah. This might be coming up. I have a problem with this bracket because it's not like a 16 against a one. They got these little weak animals against each other. Now a tiger and a polar bear. This is Duke, North Carolina. Last week it was a bear against a gorilla. Right. So these should be coming up later, but whatever. All right.

These are two ferocious animals that both should make the final four. I agree. Here's what I think. Pound for pound, polar bear all day. I think a tiger is super smarter than a polar bear. Tigers are big, too. Yeah, they're big, and they're just like a polar bear to me feels like so you got snow, and they're both their elements. I think the tiger could lure the polar bear into the tiger's element.

And then it's over. How long are these fights? I don't think the polar bear would leave the snow. You don't think? I don't think so. And he would make the tiger come over. The tiger would be cocky and go, you know what? I'm going to see what's going on over there. Polar bears are really mean, aren't they? I think so. I don't think a tiger is sweet, though. Yeah. But other bears will avoid you if possible. Don't polar bears come looking for a fight? No.

I mean, I think they're trying to eat. Yeah. You know? It's a cold world where they live. They need to find stuff to eat. They need to eat a seal. They need to eat a walrus, penguin. Look, y'all can vote me out. I would vote tiger. Y'all can vote me out if you don't want to. I'm going polar bear. I go bear. I go tiger. Oh, jeez. All right. Well, we need a deciding vote from... Can we look up any research or we just got to go? I guess we could. Look up... I guess if it's a...

Yeah, let's just see what happens. We'll see what the experts think on Quora. The polar bear has an advantage in terms of jaw strength, skin thickness, and power. However, the Siberian tiger is the best in terms of speed, maneuverability, hunting experience, and behavior. So they just, what a cop-out that is, right? No, but that's the truth. That's what I mean. I think a polar bear does not want to fight. It's never in fights. Polar bears live alone.

Tigers are just on the grind, dude. They are in fights all day long. This is what they do. They have to fight. They're across so many other animals. A polar bear is living in its bubble up at the top. No one can touch it because there's nothing up there to even challenge it. A tiger is being challenged. I think this pick, though, has a wolf in the mouth of the polar bear. Ugh.

Well, let's don't look at that. Yeah, but that's not... I'm saying that's a challenger, a wolf. Not a big challenger. Look how much bigger the bear is. Yeah, here's a good size comparison. The polar bear is almost twice... It's over twice as... More than twice. Yeah, dude. A tiger fights regularly. It's actually in the coliseum. How do you think a polar bear gets food? Did you get... This picture is actually them in a coliseum. It does look like them in the coliseum. Yeah, it does. You don't think a polar bear is to earn every meal?

It's hunting. Yeah, dude, we have to earn every meal. I got to go drive to the grocery store. But you're acting like the tiger is fighting every day. Polar bear just sits back, drinks Coke, and hangs out. No, the tiger is, I would say, is in a rougher neighborhood. Oh, dude. And a polar bear is- The tiger's in paradise.

No, they have so... The tiger's got a thousand animals around it. A polar bear has what? Just the animals it eats around it. Wolves. So it has to hunt. The great white wolf. But it's... You're saying a tiger's not an apex predator? What preys on a tiger in the jungle? Oh, I think you have... I think other tigers fight each other more than polar bears. I think polar bears all get along with each other. I think bears stuck up. And I don't think they ever fight. I would say a tiger...

You know, you got pumas, you got lions, you got bears. I mean, you know, they're just around a lot of stuff, man. All right. That's why I say tiger. Okay. Should we get the tiebreaker vote from the crew here? I don't know. What do you think? Are you changing your mind? The polar bear is so much bigger than the tiger. It kind of sways me a little bit. Well, there's three of them, so we'll let them. What are you thinking? I'm going polar bear.

You don't get to vote, Chris. Yeah. We're going polar bear. All right. All right. The reason I think polar bear so much is because we spent so much time talking about grizzly bears and what could take them. And ultimately, we decided nothing takes the grizzly bear. So I think the polar bear can't fall far below the grizzly bear. Grizzly bears are super aggressive. So you're not thinking of any of the animal.

Like, grizzly bears are super aggressive and super, like, dominant. And so that's why they could beat a polar bear, because a polar bear is very weak. Well, they would beat the polar bear. It has no motivation. I don't think it's that weak, dude. It has no motivation. Do you see them in the zoo? Polar bears? Polar bears have... That's why they got in the condition they're in now, because...

They're weak. Struggling to live. No, they're up there. They let themselves get just broke off a piece of ice to float out to the ocean. They don't even realize that's happening. That's how long they sit. They sit long enough that ice melts and breaks off and floats in the ocean. They don't get moving. And he goes, well, how long did you sit there? Six months? Six months?

Well, think about this, though. Rocky and Rocky IV trained in the snow so that he would be stronger. And that's what the polar bears live in every day. Yeah. Polar bears just... It's never... You have the eye of the tiger, though. It doesn't know... That's true. That's interesting. It doesn't know... The thing it hunts is seals and they...

They all stick out so much. Penguins stick out so much. Like a tiger has to hunt stuff that's hiding. Polar bear just is like boo, boo, boo.

Oh, I'll go get that. There's only one little dot I see. Let me go over there because I'm in a sea of just white. Maybe the audience can add in and maybe we change it next week if we decide. It's a shame the tiger is out in the first round. But it's a shame the polar bear is out in the first round. We could do...

We could do a poll. Yeah, do a poll. Yeah. We'll do a poll for any that we kind of, you know. We got the last matchup of the day here on this side of the bracket. It looks like a great white shark versus an orca whale or a killer whale. No one said the orca whale. I say killer whale. An orca.

No one says orca. Everybody says killer whale. Oh, people call orca all the time. Yeah, the nerds that are like, I don't know, the guy at SeaWorld might say orca. And everybody's like, all right, but what are we? The average person is saying killer whale. But the irony of that, the reason that's bad, is that killer whale is not actually a whale. It doesn't matter. I didn't know that. I know. What is it? I don't remember. I did a report on killer whales back, or excuse me.

Orcas. Back in like fourth or fifth grade, I remember learning that. You can't hide Notre Dame. It just comes out, doesn't it? This is fourth grade. Killer whales are orcas. No one says orca, dude. Like no one goes to SeaWorld and goes, let's go check out the orcas. You know, most people would go, well, I don't want to go see the orcas. I want to go see Shamu, Killer Whales. Yeah. And they'd go, well, that's not going to happen. Because I went to college. Yeah.

And then kind of, oh, okay. You know, they're not even whales, and you just suck the fun. I think I got this wrong. It says, okay, a killer whale is a toothed whale belonging to the oceanic dolphin family. Okay. Just a little bit of both. Part dolphin, part whale. It's kind of like a half dolphin, half whale. Like, yeah, I'm a whale, but I'm in the dolphin family. Yeah. Pick a side, huh? Yeah. But adopted by the dolphins. Yeah. Yeah.

So what do you think? Yeah, it floats around that he goes like, no, I was raised as a dolphin. Like, he's trying to make you feel bad. Like, it's the world. Everybody wants to be a victim. He goes, oh, I was a dolphin. You know, the dolphins are going to kill you. He goes, I'm a dolphin. And you go, all right, you're kind of related to the dolphins. But you know what we mean.

I think it's Kilwell all day. I think so, too. Kilwells are ruthless. Yeah, I think so, too. I mean, this is, again, what they do. They just beat SEALs for fun. Yeah. I mean, they just throw them up in the air and play with them. I mean, the SEALs not having fun, but they are. Yeah. They're brutal. Well, this isn't a question of which is more morally reprehensible. This is who would win in a fight. But that plays into it. So-

You know, if you got one of them that's got a kind of plays by the code, which I feel like the great white shark is kind of like, we have order in the ocean. Yeah, it's old school. Yeah, it's a little old school kind of way. And a killer whale is like, this is what we do. We just are a problem. They would be sparring a little bit and the shark would be like, well, chill out, dude. Don't take it that serious. Yes.

The killer whale would try to touch gloves. I mean, the great white would try to touch gloves, and your orca would just be like, I'm not touching your glove. Grab him by the tail, flip him up. Yeah. Would fake touch gloves with him and then go and get him.

What do you think, Brian? I mean, I agree. Again, it's a shame the great white shark's going out so early because they're incredible predators. But a killer whale, I think a killer whale is a lot bigger. Yeah, we lost a lot of bluebloods here in the front row. Can't wait to see the eagle and the anteater fight. That's got to be a lot of fun. Yeah.

Well, I mean, we've got sizes from a killer whale to a barn owl. The piranha and the grizzly bear will be a good matchup. Yeah. Oh, man. That's going to be over so quick, dude. The great thing about all these animals, all their different sizes, they could all sleep on a Helix mattress. Yeah. That is true.

Right, Aaron? I think they probably could. And you know what's exciting, talking about Helix mattresses, is, man, Dusty is all about them. Well, I have a Helix mattress. Yeah. And I sleep on it. When I'm out at the cabin, I sleep on this mattress, and it just adds to the peace and tranquility that I have out there. I go out there to relax. So sleeping on that Helix mattress adds to it.

I mean, the pillows are the greatest pillows I've ever owned in my entire life. They are great pillows. And the mattress is truly wonderful. Well, they have a lineup of over 14. Arnold, Chris Pratt's son-in-law. Yeah, it's crazy. I didn't know that. Yeah. And then Nate and I played a game where we saw who's the most famous person in our Rolodex on our phone. Nate won slightly. My most famous one that he didn't have is Neil O'Donnell, former NFL quarterback. That's pretty fun. Yeah.

Yeah. I thought of one. You know, I thought of one, too, Bill Hader's number. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Who do we say was... I mean, you have so many. Seinfeld, right? He has Seinfeld. He has Jimmy Fallon. That's going to be tough to beat. Yeah. Yeah. We could do a bracket for that, just Nate's phone bracket. Yeah. Yeah.

He just kept naming them. I'm like, how'd you get that person's number? Yeah. Yeah, it was prompted. I wasn't... I brought it up. He brought it up. You were just flipping it out. I didn't just go... Let me show you these numbers in here. No. I mean, I told Bates, I go, ask this at the table. Yeah. You know. He pulled me aside. We posted a photo of us traveling together. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. People like that. And...

Yeah, Bates did great. He did great at the airport? He did great at the airport. He did really good. Bates, it was the whole time.

He was along for the ride, just going, just like, yep, I'll do what everyone do. Go eat where you want to go eat. All right. Just very much along for the ride and everywhere. Great job, buddy. Super fun. And he's not felt well since. I missed, yeah, he hasn't felt. It was fun for us to go back out because we haven't done that in a while. It was fun. Yeah, it was a good time. Old times, man. Mm-hmm. Yep.

The animal bracket really took a long time, didn't it? We really got into that. Yeah, yeah. I think we're going to finish it off. Yeah, yeah. Just time-wise. Yeah, yeah. Let's do one more of these. Let's do one more. Because, I mean, we could continue some more bracket stuff, whether it be this animal thing or whatever it is. If people have ideas, I think this is kind of fun to talk about. So here's what I'll say with this one. This is a… An ostrich? Is that an emu? Yeah.

It looks like an ostrich to me. I don't think it's an ostrich. I think it's a... Can you zoom it in? Yeah, well... You can't zoom in? I'm zoomed in. You're right. You're right, Nate. When it comes to animals... No, that's not emu. But it's a... Zoom in. Can you zoom... I'm zoomed in all the way here. You can't like... Oh, you can't even zoom in more? And I'm zoomed in quite a bit. Hold on. I'll be honest. Let me look at the screen. I don't think...

Regardless if it's an emu or an ostrich, it has a chance. Yeah, why does it matter? It has zero chance. Because it's matched up against a male adult lion. That's not an ostrich. I think it's something. It's an emu, right? An emu, ostrich. No, but it wasn't an emu. It was a...

I'm thinking, what's the other? Look at an emu. It could be. I don't like the look of emus. Yeah. That lion. All right, look. Here's what I say. Look up some facts about. There's not a bird on earth. We think this is an emu. So look up some facts of emus, some lions. I will take the emu side.

So we can't just have this dominant. So who wants to... I'm comfortable taking the emu side. Who wants to take the lion side? Bates? I'm going lion to a zero chance. I'll jump on emu. All right. I'll jump on emu here. So we... I like this. I like the debate. You get to get talked into five interesting facts about emus.

An emu's feathers cannot be so soft. That's not a good strong. I mean, who wrote that sentence? The emu? An emu's feather cannot... Can you zoom in? I'm going to read it. An emu's feathers... I thought it said father at first.

That's probably true, too. An emu's father cannot be so soft, so they grow up in hard times. Right, a chip on the shoulder. They grow up in hard times. It can't be soft, but it cannot be, too. An emu has been through it. A lion is like, you're the rich kid. Right. And they're very family-oriented. They got nuclear families. They all stay together. The lion grew up, no problems. No problems. No hardships. No hardships. An emu, out of the womb, he's fighting. He's scrapping. Oh, yeah. And his feathers...

The way this emu wrote this, they also can be soft, but they also cannot be so soft. Right. It's not always so soft. He said, listen, sometimes it is, but not all the time. Emus have the strongest legs. That's enormous. Yeah. Strongest legs. Big legs. Does not say, I don't know what it compares to. There's no comparison. But...

Compared to an ostrich. Yeah. Compared to the other birds. But it has, so I'm assuming the strongest legs of anything and everything. So the kicking power is wild. The running power. That's going to translate to speed. Running away. I mean, there's part of me that's going, a lion's going to go into this pretty cocky, and an emu is going to just light it up. This thing squats more than an elephant here.

This is like the piranha. Even though it feels like a piranha, it's just like a velociraptor. Yes. Like a velociraptor beat a T-Rex. Yeah. So when we had this bracket, you would say there's no way. Where? In Jurassic Park. The movie. It did? Yeah. One-on-one? At the end. It beats the one. Well, then they fight at the end. But yeah, I think it does at the end.

I don't know if it does, but... No, I think T-Rex did. I think it did. T-Rex is... Yeah, I guess they...

It's like they get so tired. But we just had a debate about a polar bear possibly losing to a Siberian tiger, but now an emu beats a lion. Well, we're taking the – I'm trying to make it fun. You've got to have some upsets here.

Yeah, you got to have his mouth set. And I think this is because this just happened in the tournament this year. The one seed comes in. Yeah. And, you know, if they sleep, if they take it for granted, they're going to go down. Give me those other facts of the email. Let me read the rest of it. Let's play the fight out. Let's play the fight out. I just want to finish the facts. They get more fun. Yeah. Yeah.

I was reading them for some reason that prompted you to go to a different page. They started to get bad. That's why I want you to keep reading. Yeah. Emmus have a pouch in their throat for communication. Now, this is... Trash talk. I'd imagine some kind of like maybe walkie-talkie, maybe the first next tell. Yeah. Yeah. They have a pouch in their throat for communication. Like they don't even waste their time for...

What do they put in that pouch? Their phone? You know what it could put in that pouch? A weapon. So now this emu, because look at it. You think it's playing by the rules? No. There's no playing by the rules. That's cheating. It's an emu cheats. That anything can happen. So I think an emu has now got...

Probably a gun. Right, right. We're going to go ahead and say it. The emu brought a gun into this fight. The emu is armed. The emu does have a gun. So the emu gets a gun. Because it has a pouch and it can hide it and we did not check the pouch because we didn't know they had a pouch. Where's a lion putting a gun? Here's the problem. Emus don't have arms, so how's he going to shoot it? It does it anyway. It's automatic. So look, look at this situation. Here's what I'm saying. The emu...

Because when you frisk, look at it, you frisk something, you don't ever frisk someone's throat. That's true. So why would you frisk? We would be so busy in the feathers, and we don't know that he's got- Which cannot be so soft. Yeah, that we go like, I cannot believe how not soft this is. You might even cut yourself trying to get the gun out of there. And you're just like shaking it, and just like some dust. It looks like you're shaking a, you know, dust is flying out. And you're like, I don't think he's good. And we don't even know that in his throat he has a gun. Right.

So he brings a gun to this place. All right, what's next? Emu's feathers are more water resistant than other birds' feathers. This is not a bad thing because it's like it doesn't have to shake off. Like if they get pushed into the water, you know, a lion has to do like the dog. That's time. That's time. Right, right, right. He's got a dry fit on.

They can jump seven feet and 2.1 meters straight up. Straight up? Seven feet is quite a big leap. That's a good jump. That's a big leap. We're not playing basketball. But they jump up and then come down. So when the lion runs, it jumps and then just comes down so hard on its head. And it has a gun. What if the lion has piranhas hidden in its mane?

I don't think – when we frisked, we would feel that. Okay. Okay. I mean, I'm saying we were going to frisk these animals to make sure they don't have weapons. But this thing has a pouch that none of us knew it had, and we would never feel someone's throat. Yeah.

Like you would just never be like, obviously, let's check its throat. We would check its beak. Of course. And then we would go to the phallus. Can we see what the pouch looks like, though? Yeah, let me look that up. Because maybe if you slip a gun in there, it's very transparent that there's a gun in there. I think... Where you're like, oh, your Adam's apple looks a lot like a gun, Emu. No. You can't see it. You've got to imagine what it is. And I picture it like it's...

You would never know that there was a pouch there. I agree. And you would think that they're throat. Give me five interesting facts about lions. Okay. Here we go. Lions. Make sure you don't zoom in and change websites often. All right. Yeah, here's some fun facts. Five facts. That's a YouTube video. I don't want to watch a video. Fun facts about lions there. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Many lions are just middle. Oh, that's not what I want. Oh, that was great.

Zoom in. Let me see. Many lions are just middle-aged men in fur suits. All right. So a lion is just a, like, it's us, dude. A lion has no...

anything in it. Like, it's just, you gotta be like a lioness. Like, you know, like that, like, I feel like they gotta do more. They gotta take care of the kids. They gotta do all that kind of stuff. Well, that's what everybody says about these lions. And again, this is a male lion that the emu's fighting, right? And now lions are famous for the, the woman goes out and does all the work and the male just sits there and chill. Lazy. Lazy. He's been idle. Yeah. You know, he can't move well. Yeah. But he gets to warm up. You know, I think a lion is so arrogant and,

Because it just never has a problem that I think it just is going to be. It's going to be like when you stand up after this podcast and you're like, ooh. Imagine I will have that too. When I stand up after this podcast, it's going to be like, I haven't seen too long. And an emu, it's already got its gun out.

What's another? Let's read another. Yeah, well, that list was terrible. But here we got some numbers. Let's look at the numbers. They live 16 to 18 years. You don't live that long not beating off emos.

I mean, I think an emu's... I mean, that's true. You know, emus come running at you, you know. Population is 523. There aren't that many left. Yeah. They can't even survive. Yeah, they're endangered. Yeah, these are not good families. They're king of the jungle for a reason. If they're endangered, that's more reason to fight for your life. There's only a few of you left. A lion's roar can be heard.

From eight kilometers away. I have no idea how far that is, but that seems like a lot. Yeah, but who cares? I mean, yeah, we know the lion's in there. It would blow the emu's fur back. The emu would be terrified. Probably fire the gun in its mouth. Guess what? Lions lose their manes when they get injured.

Males tend to avoid a long main rival who is likely to be an undefeated combatant. So a lion sees those feathers, which cannot be so soft on the eagle, and it thinks, dude, this guy, I'm staying away from this mad man. He goes, this dude, I don't want to fight this dude. Like, this guy. Well, under this argument, the anteater's going to go all the way, then. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. We might be. That's for a different day, though. That's a different day. We're not there yet. Uh,

Is there any other good, how far? I can't believe this is the only facts we're getting. Jump, is it? Yeah, these are not great facts. That was fact 6,600. Let me see. Hyenas may attack an unhealthy lion. Lion doesn't compete for the same prey. I mean, a hyena is taking a lion. It may attack it. Emu is the hyena of the bird. It's a hyena.

It's got a little pouch. It's got a little pouch. The hyena, if a hyena is on this thing, I would expect a hyena also to have a gun or a weapon. Oh, for sure. A hyena, like you got a... For sure. A hyena, but that's... See, here's the thing. We would know...

that we have to frisk the hyenas super hard because we are like, we know you're up to something. This is your existence. He's laughing the whole time. Your existence is, you're like the Joker. Like you're just, your existence is you're going to do stuff. The emu, we think good luck and we don't know. He's got multiple guns. He's got a John Wick situation. He's got a John Wick situation in his pouch.

that we didn't know they had pouches. Now look, it's going to hurt them the next round after this. Sure, sure. Because now we're aware of the pouch. Yeah. And we're going to, now we're like, well, we're going to solve that. And we are apologizing to the lion family because we did not know. And the lion, they're going to sue us. The lion family is suing us now because they said it was, and we go, we didn't know. They're fighting to the death. We thought it was a lion, you know, and they're like, but he brought a weapon. And we go, I mean, we checked you. Who's going to check the emu's neck? So,

So the first round, I'm saying we don't know anything about the sea moon. The lion signed the waiver, so. The lion signed the waiver. What does it say? The lion can jump up to 20 feet high. Oh, well, that's at 45 feet. Mountain lions are known. All right. Pumas are mountain lions. They're the best jumpers of all the mammals. What is it? The jump is not even that important, how high they jump.

I mean, it's a fun trick to be able to jump. The gun is really the emu's only strength. That's what I'm saying. And it's multiple guns. It's a John Wick situation. I mean, this is what I'm saying. The emu. If this is the John Wick of emus, I'll go for it. Yeah. It is. But who's the lion? Is the lion Simba? Is it Scar? No. I mean, look at the lion is just... The lion's a lion. And look, it would have won. Emu is just...

It's just like... Are we even sure it's an emu? We're not even positive. We're not even... Yeah. But it's... It's not an ostrich, though. I know that. Yeah. I think it's an emu. And...

I'm going to go with the emu. I think it's got a gun. It brought a gun. It brought multiple guns. How's it shooting the gun from its mouth? It just does it. And its feet, its strong feet. Legs? Yeah. Real hard feathers. Yeah. Strongest legs. Yeah. And we just are like, we can't believe that he brought that gun. And we have to have a serious talk about. After this emu lion fight, we tell the animals, no guns.

We are going to be on high alert.

That's what I'm saying. The emu wins with a gun, and we've now had to make an announcement. Boom. We're going emu. All right. Oh, we're decided. We've gone emu. Well, you guys are not making much of a case here. You're making no case. I mean, the case is that it, you know, I mean, you know, we're saying that the emu has the ability to hide a gun, but we're really counting that this lion can't hide anything. It's an honor. The lion comes in, and the lion comes in arrogant. This may not be an honorable lion, though. I don't know.

It is lion. This lion. Lion. Lion. It's a lion lion. You know what I mean? Lions are honorable in the fact that they are, they just don't, nothing bothers them. Nemu has been fighting for his life the whole time. Could a handgun kill a lion?

It's got a John Wick situation. So the guns are, it has all the guns. Multiple guns, grenades. I mean, listen, the puffer fish may have a gun inside all that puffed upness. It didn't think about it when we talked about it. So it did not. So too late now. The emu thought about it. So the emu wins. Go. What's the next? Like, uh,

We've got a few more here. These will be quick, though. Yeah. It looks like we've got... Quicker than an emu versus a lion. These ones are way more obvious. I don't know. I can make them. We're going to make them. What do we have here? We've got a cheetah versus... It looks like just a wolf. Well, a cheetah cheats, and we know that. It's a cheetah.

And a wolf. Cheetah's the fastest land animal, obviously. It is. Doesn't help it much in the Coliseum, though. Well, it can run around. It can run around. The Coliseum floor is pretty big. There's room to run around and kind of wear him out. And a wolf, my understanding, just like the piranhas, that the wolf's strength is that it usually travels in groups. I could see that. A wolf pack, if you will. Yeah. So I'm going cheetah on this one.

I think it's safe to move on. All right. Well, all right. I'm going to go wolf. You're going wolf? Yeah. So I've been keeping notes. I kind of think wolf, too. Here's my notes. I wrote, if you want to see my notes of my, can you read this? First notes for my email. It just says gun. It just says gun. I think wolf. So that was my positive for that. And in the lion, I had nothing. So now let's see. I want to write down a cheetah. Is this a wolf or a dog?

I don't think it's just like a family dog. I think it's a wolf. I'm going wolf. So...

Let's see. Well, let's look at which of these has been domesticated by human beings. So let's go. The only answer is wolf. Cat. This will be the last one we do. And then- You think that became a house cat? Yes. Yeah. So let's see if there's any facts about cheetahs. Let's see anything that glares out. Because it is. The cheetah is just a giant- It can run up to 70 miles per hour, I think. Yeah, yeah. Because it's just running, and it chases weak animals. Yeah.

Like, it doesn't bring down any big animals. It brings down, like, you know... Gazelles. Oh, I mean, a gazelle. I could take a gazelle. I think I'm going with a cheetah, though. Wolves, they have to work together. No, but a gazelle is like... Are we saying facts? You know what a gazelle is? You know what hunting a gazelle is like? It's like the cheetah just goes to Publix and buys something. That's how easy it is to get a gazelle that has...

Dude, gazelles are fast. That's all they are is fast. So that's all they are. So they'd be hard to track down. A wolf has to fight something that can real fight back. What does a wolf eat? Oh, it eats cheetahs and emus. It eats emus all the time. The wolf has a gun. Yeah.

The wolf does not have a gun. We've already outlawed. You're like Michael Scott. Whenever you want to wave, you just pull out a gun. We've already outlawed guns. The last fight was a nightmare. We did not. We are mortified. Yeah, I mean, Vegas went wild when the emu beat the lion.

We do not have the attendance for this fight is not high because people were like... This is rigged. An emu bought a gun last time and beat a lion. So we're... We are trying to build back and we are going... I mean, we've had a press conference and we said, no more weapons. We are checking everywhere on these animals where, you know, we did not think we should check an emu's neck. We didn't know they had a pouch. So we have... Thought it was just for communication. Yeah. So we...

This is a straight-up battle. So cheetahs are the fastest animals on land and can reach up to speeds of 113 kilometers. He doesn't even know miles per hour. They weigh... A wolf is using miles per hour in pounds. This is using kilograms and all that stuff.

So we don't really even know what he weighs. No, they can only purr, not roar like lions. Like a cat. Yeah, like a little house cat. A wolf. Let's do some facts of wolves. Wolves are... Cheetahs hunt during the day. Wolves could... Yeah, there you go. A wolf could win this whole thing. This is a night battle. You think a wolf could win this whole thing? Dude, wolves are a problem. They are... I mean, a wolf is, you know...

40 to 175 pounds. You know what I mean? This is what... Jaw-rushing power. They are... I mean... Oh, oh. Yeah, they're not that much more than a regular German shepherd. They're double. Double. 1,500 square inch. Everybody knows what that means. And they're hearing... They can hear so much. Their sight is similar to human. Yeah.

Oh my gosh, they got our eyesight. They got our eyesight. And they smell a hundred times more. Yeah, how is eyesight going to be? I mean, they can see the cheetah. They smell that cheetah coming on by. They're on the floor of the Roman Coliseum. A cheetah's sitting around eating chips. They can see some colors. So then they see the spots. Are they fighting at night?

It might go in tonight. I think this fight goes in tonight because the wolf gets it. Here's how weak a wolf is, dude. Here's how weak a wolf is. In captivity, they live 13, 14 years, sometimes 18 years. In the wild, only five. Yeah, because they are battling it out, dude. Yeah, and not succeeding. Other wolves. No, no. You've got to travel with groups. That's the other thing, dude. These wolves only fight in groups, and now you're asking it to fight on its own. Look, first of all,

You're comparing like that would be like a UFC fighter. Like if you're going, you're Cheetah, you're like, well, it's undefeated. You're like, it ain't fought nobody. This wolf's got losses. And you're like, this wolf's fighting everybody, dude. It's fighting bears. It's fighting lions. Did you see the Bourne movie with Jeremy Renner? He took out a wolf and he lost to a snowplow. So I think a Cheetah could. Yeah. The random people, hikers take out wolves.

all the time. Sometimes with their bare hands. A cheetah will chase down a gazelle, kill it, and then the wolf comes and takes the meat from the cheetah. Oh, from the cheetah. Runs the cheetah off. Yeah, so it's a mooch. It's not even doing any of the hard work. No, because it's dominant. Yeah. Because it just knows what to do. A cheetah can just run fast.

That's it. They're very light. They're not big. All they can do is run fast. A wolf is heavy. I don't know. Let's take a look at Cheetah's mouth, dude. You tell me that can't take a wolf out? I have petted a cheetah. I have. In my life, I've petted a cheetah. Where? Where did you pet a cheetah? In the woods.

And was it legal to do so? I don't know if it was legal to do so. It was a big cap. But I have petted a cheetah. And I petted a cheetah, and I wasn't even – and there was multiple cheetahs in there. I didn't even look around. I kept my hood up.

Because I just wasn't. That's how unafraid I was of them sneaking up. Someone goes, since you have it down, what if one sneaks behind you? And I go, oh, I'm sorry. I had my headphones on. I go, I'm sorry. I wasn't even. That's how little fear I had. Because their hearing's not that good anyway. Yeah, right?

No, I'm saying like I didn't even feel like I had to worry about that. I'm like, let it come up. And what's it going to do? Purr against me? Like nothing's going to happen. But then we got told we heard there's a wolf two states over. We went inside. And they go, it's a lone wolf. Lone wolf is the name. Lone wolf.

That's why it's a name, because they travel in packs. But that's why it's a name, because it's an oddity. It's an anomaly. I know, but that lone wolf is dangerous. It's dangerous. Well, that's a cheetah's mouth right there. Yawning. Let me tell you what. That running at you at 40 kilometers an hour? The only picture you have of a cheetah's mouth is it's laying down yawning. That's the only, that's the scary. That's how relaxed it is, because he's not scared. Show me a wolf. He's laughing. He's laughing.

Look, they're all laying down because the only time they get it is yawn. He's relaxing after a nice meal that he earned. He's laying flat on his back. He's laughing because he's finding an emu in the next round. Yeah. No. He's... With no gun now. Yeah, no gun. This guy's just advancing left and right. Go show a wolf. Like, you're under... Like, this is...

You know, some of these have been fun, but I don't think you understand how great a wolf is. I mean, I think I have an idea of what a wolf is. I like that you went right to a wolf attack. Look how big that is. That is scary, I think. I mean, that's like a bear. Look at that compared to the dog. Yeah, that is a big wolf. I mean, do a wolf and versus a—I mean, do a wolf-cheetah side by side.

I mean, dude, you're going to be... You're being embarrassed. Oh, man. Look at the title of this video. It runs for its life. Cheetah attacks a wolf and then runs for its life. It's...

Yeah, it goes after it. Then it's just over. Look how unbelievably fast it is, dude. Speed does not help it win this fight. It's got to fight. Where is this fight happening at? Is this just somebody's backyard? Wow. They are really going after it. Holy cow, dude. And they're just chasing him.

This is like people that really, they have this conversation and then someone's got so much money that he goes, I can make this happen. Yeah. I already got them here. Yeah. Just do side by side. Yeah. Google images. Yeah. Google images, side by side, sheet of wolf. I mean, the big wolf. Just the size difference. The size difference of a, you know, you can't go some like easy wolf, you know, like we're, this is a big one. Yeah. I mean, here they are.

I'm standing next to you. No, no, no. Go back to the picture of the wolf. That's a wolf right there. What are you talking about? What's the picture of the wolf in the picture? Look at his tail down. He's scared. In the bracket, what's the picture of the wolf? It's a black wolf. Oh, in the bracket, here's the picture of the wolf. It's a black wolf. Yeah. So type in a black wolf. Okay. African-American wolf. Yeah. I mean, so. Where are we looking? Gray wolf.

Giant cheetah. I mean, your cheetah looks regular. The cheetah is not...

I thought it would be markedly bigger than the wolf, and it's just not, and I apologize about that. Dude, a wolf is— The size has never been my main concern about this. It's about speed. It's about agility. It's about heart. My main concern is who will take the emu in the next round. No. I mean, that's— Dude, the power—the wolf is like—the power of a wolf. It's like a heavyweight fight versus light heavyweight. And the wolf is patient.

A cheetah just runs with its head cut off. I think a wolf is patient. It howls when it doesn't have what it wants. I mean, it's just a baby. No, it lets you know that it's there. No, it lets you know that it's there. A cheetah only can chase down like weak animals. Like a wolf dude is, look, we're going to end on this and we're not clicking it. We're going to think about it. Okay.

And then when we get back into this, I'm going to let you think about it. I'm going to let you think about it. You need to think about it because you're being crazy right now. You're being unrealistic in all this. Okay. You need to think about what you're doing with your life. I'm sorry. This is an honest argument. You're right. This is an honest debate. You're right. I'm trying to play the game. This is very serious. Okay. And you're not being serious. You're right. Okay.

I've taken it completely serious. Pull it together. Figure out what you're doing with yourself. Figure out what's going on. Emu had a gun. That's how serious I am.

All right. We love you, everybody. Oh, can I? No. No. Dusty. Dusty, do you have a gun on you? I do have a gun. You do have a gun. I have several. No, we can all play. My communication pouch. Yeah. Where's mine? I'm on tour. Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Coming up. Nice. Check that one out. That one needs... It's good, but could use some love. You've got Muncie. Yeah, yeah. A bunch of stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

This Friday, I'm in Chattanooga at Clear Creek Church of Christ. It's a date night event. I think it's just for the church, but I want people to know I'm working. Yeah. I'm promoting it. Next week, April 27th, I believe, I'm in Napanee, Indiana at the Round Barn Theater, which is pretty exciting. And then one more quick thing. I'm going to California doing two improvs out there, Ontario and...

How heavy are those hands, dude? For people listening at home, Aaron was holding a pin. And when he went to make his point, he hit the back of the pin. And his hand, his one finger apparently weighs more than all the other fingers, flicked the pin.

He couldn't even hold on to it. And this is your man for Cheetah. Go ahead. Irvine Improv, Ontario Improv in May. Oh, that's awesome. Those are great clubs. Yeah, I'm pumped. Okay, hey, May 13th, I'm going to record a special, my first one-hour special at the Bijou Theater in Knoxville, Tennessee. So that's very exciting. So the week's leading up to it. I got a lot of shows. I'm going to be in, you know...

Nashville, Dallas, Texas, Conway, Arkansas, Springfield, Missouri. Lots of places leading up to filming this May 13th Bijou Theater, Knoxville, Tennessee. Yeah. Boom. Awesome, man. Yeah. And then look, the showcase. We're filming April 24, 25, 26. Yeah. This will be the last episode before that happens. So...

If you don't have tickets, come out to that. All three of these guys are hosting each one of the shows. Great, great comics. A lot of local comics. Comics fun coming in for that. So we're going to give you – they're just very funny comics, and I can't wait for that to come out. So if you're in Nashville and you can make it, you can come to all of them or come to one. But, I mean, they're all going to be different.

So, all right. That's it, right? Everybody feels good? Feel great. Yes, sir. Thank you. Bridgetone was unbelievable. You made it a dream come true. And again, like I said, none of us can pay you back for all that you have done for us in listening to this. We love you, and we'll see you next week. Bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetze, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform.

Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast. Fall is the perfect time to cozy up with a hot drink and enjoy the season. And now with the Northwest Federal Credit Union credit card, you can make the most of this time of year. Earn double points on everything you purchase with your NWFCU credit card. Every swipe gets you closer to your next reward.

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