Need new glasses or want a fresh new style? Warby Parker has you covered. Glasses start at just $95, including anti-reflective, scratch-resistant prescription lenses that block 100% of UV rays.

Every frame's designed in-house, with a huge selection of styles for every face shape. And with Warby Parker's free home try-on program, you can order five pairs to try at home for free. Shipping is free both ways, too. Go to warbyparker.com slash covered to try five pairs of frames at home for free. warbyparker.com slash covered. Bluster response from the room on that. Yeah, no, people are not impressed. And no, I'm very happy to have you here, bud. Uh...

Me and Nick have been close forever. A long time. Fair to say that I think

You flew in last night, and it looks like you flew in and you had your window down on the whole flight. Is that? On the flight. Okay. Well, I asked for a car today to go get some coffee. He did get coffee. And the car that I was given does not have doors on it. Yeah.

The Bronco with no doors. And I just had to drive, you know, five miles to get. The Bronco does not have doors on it. And, uh, I,

I took them off last week because it was nice. The weather was – it was like taking the doors off weather nice. And then I was gone, and then I just haven't put them back on. And then Laura was like – That always happens to me. I just always forget to put my car doors back on. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's a fun ride to not have the doors –

That's like, I mean, you usually take all the doors off. Yeah, I did a Starbucks drive-thru. Yeah. And I pulled up and the woman was like, you don't have to open your doors anymore.

Oh, really? Yeah, she thought that I had opened my door to... There's no doors over here. It's like a Jeep or a Bronco. When you don't have doors on something and you go through a drive-thru, it's aggressive. Yeah. I mean, it's... You're in their space. You're in their space. It's almost like you're bragging that you have pants on. Yeah, yes. Just want to prove to you guys that... If you wanted to fight a drive-thru...

I would suggest getting a Jeep or something with no doors. That's a big process to go in to just to want to fight. But you never, I'm look, I'm not telling you to fight people and drive through windows, but I'm just saying if you were someone that like, I've had enough with this one drive through person one day, I'm going to go give him, I'm going to give him what he's had coming. You go out and lease a car.

I would say rent. Maybe you have the car. I mean, if you're a guy fighting a guy in a drive-thru window, your car might not have doors anyway. So you might have a Honda that doesn't have doors. If you're doing so much that you're like, I have a lot of interactions with drive-thru windows, and it's aggressive. Could be a mailman. Could be a mailman.

Mailman. There you go. UPS trucks. The only thing is you're not – Or female men. You can be either of these things. You can be either. Mailman truck, pretty low. It's low to the ground. You mean a drive-thru? Yeah. And they're on the other side. Yeah. So how are you going to do that? Oh. Oh.

I didn't even think about that. I have to go in backwards. Yeah, UPS drivers, they're the ones that... UPS. Yeah, they're just wide open for business. Yeah. You can just attack one of those guys whenever you want. Yeah. Yeah. UPS, I think you would...

I think people have learned not to mess with them because they, they just are like, cause they can get a running start. I mean, they got, it's like a basketball court inside there. It doesn't even seem like they're sitting down. It seems like they're standing and driving. Yeah. And then they can just, and they could leap right through. Do a mailman go through a drive-thru in reverse? Such a funny image to me. It's a power move. I wonder if that's been done before. I've never seen it. I've never seen it, but I mean, I bet it has to be. Uh,

It takes a certain type of person. I bet they're good at driving in Europe. I was thinking that yesterday. I saw the mailman. That's the kind of stuff my mom Googles, by the way. Has the mailman ever ordered Starbucks delivery? Probably not allowed to. No. They avoid driving in reverse. Yeah, they would be good at driving in Europe. Yeah. I think all the mailmen, you have to be European.

It's required. To do U.S. mail. Yeah, I mean, you got to be... If...

If you go to Europe and you're a mailman, I mean, that's got to feel good when you're like, I'll rent the car. And you get to be like, I mean, just nailing it. They're like, sir, just so you know how this train will. Yeah. I got it. I got it. Yeah. I got it. You guys don't have any envelopes, do you? Yeah. That's one thing I do need. I wonder if it, though, if it messes them up because they're used to driving our way and not. That's right. So they could be a little off. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, that could be interesting. I've just found some literature from the United States Postal Service. They discourage their drivers from backing up. They say occasionally you're going to have to, obviously based on where the car is. But if you can avoid it, don't back up because that's where a lot of their accidents happen. I think we talked about that on our episode. They were saying what's in the past is in the past. You've got to move forward. Yeah. Man, thousands. We're talking thousands of motor vehicle accidents from being in reverse. Yeah.

I mean, that's a lot of twos, by the way. Yeah, 2,222. Yeah. That's too convenient. Yeah. Through the end of October 3rd.

Oh, no, that's quarter three of 2007. I mean, this is like a... Is this an internal document that we're looking at? We're not supposed to see this. It says, if you cause an accident, what will you say to a grief-stricken mother who has just lost a child? This is getting so dark. I know. You're like, or to a father whose child was seriously injured by your vehicle while you were backing up. You're like, I'm just trying to be a mailman.

No reason is good enough. Who would think there'd be an excuse good enough that you would go, as a mailman, you go, I had to go backwards because a dog was in front of me. They go, all right, that's a pretty decent excuse. That kid broke his leg. Ma'am, hey, we got a couple envelopes here for you. And is that your son lying in the street out there? Yeah. Because I don't think he's alive. Yeah.

Do the right thing. Avoid backing up while on your route. Children live and play where you work. Only you can avoid backing up on your route. Only you can avoid backing up. Yeah. Backing a vehicle is a personal decision.

I didn't realize it was this big of a thing. Dude, backing up is the real deal. Is this like a The Onion article? No, I think the post office is like, we're not joking around, dude. This is literally what it says. Do the right thing. Avoid backing up while on your route. I mean, you would leave the

meeting and go, what was the deal with backing up? What's going on out here? What if you're in a situation where you have no option and the guy is just like, I've got to get approval from my manager. You might have to call higher up. Hey, I got to reverse like two feet. Yeah. And he goes, you're not going to believe me, but car just pulled in front of me. Guy got out.

I mean, I think I want to, when the mailman comes now, I want to, like right when he stops in my mailbox, I'll just pull my car in front of him and get out and run and see what, and just see what he has to do. He probably has to notify everyone in the neighborhood door to door. Hey, I'm going to reverse a couple feet. I'm letting four houses down. It's like an ambulance. Yeah.

Just starts going off. They shouldn't even have a reverse. It should be like a ride at Opryland. You can only go forward. I'm pretty sure they have the beeps, right? The reverse. I would think so. They must. Is the reason because there's no rear window, right? So you can't see anything behind you. It'd be tough. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, I backed up a box truck. There's no window back there. You look out the side mirrors. I mean, there's a point, you know. I had a mailman yesterday.

I walk in my dog and he just like, you know, he'll have treats for the dogs in the neighborhood and he just slings out the window. He nailed me with it. He hit you with a dog? It was like four treats and he just nails me and keeps going. Yeah.

That's great. My dog liked it, but it kind of stuck. Yeah. Did you even see him? No, I'm just walking, and they're very quiet trucks. What if he didn't even notice you had a dog? Yeah. He did start overhand now that I think about it. No, he just slung it, you know, and then it hit me with it. Wow. That's awesome. Wow. That's tough. Then he backed up and did it again. Yeah. And you go, wait a second, you're not supposed to back up. Yeah.

All right. A lot going on. How did we even get into that? I don't know. I don't know. I don't think we're ever now. Yeah. I don't remember. We talk about drive-thrus. Could be the most memorable part of the podcast so far, I think. Yeah. Out of everything we've talked about so far. Yeah.

Yeah. So I'm back. I know we've – this episode's coming out whenever. Next week. Next week. But that doesn't mean anything to anybody. Yeah, that's true. But –

Then we will be – if you're watching this episode – Wait, next week in 2013? Yes. Yeah. Yes. If you're watching this episode, the next one will be up to date, right? Yeah. We'll be back live. We'll be back – Kind of live. Kind of live. But like that recording the week of. I hope you guys don't sit on this for 10 years. We're going to sit on it for a while. I don't even know if we're going to air it because you were here.

And it's free to air because it just goes on YouTube. But we're still going to hold on to it. This keeps sending me weekly updates. Hey, man, we're going to get it up soon. Nick, what's up? Hey, we had some trouble with the audio on that one, so we're working on it. We got everyone but yours. Yeah. Everybody else we got. We're airing a couple of them twice. And that doesn't even make sense because they're all on YouTube. And they live there forever.

So this week, I had a pretty wild week. I went to Vegas and played in the 8 a.m. golf tournament, Justin Timberlake's golf tournament, 8 a.m. golf. They're doing some really great things. They're building a course here in Nashville. And I was there with, you know, Fallon was there, and we did this whole video thing.

the Tennessee Kid, because my special is called The Tennessee Kid. And obviously, Timberlake is the original Tennessee Kid. His bag says Tennessee Kid. I thought, it was funny, I thought, you know, I'd said when I first met him, he was very nice. And when I first met him, he was like, because they invited me out to this. I didn't even know he knew me or anything. And then when I first met him, he was like...

I was like, hey, I named it the Tennessee Kid or whatever. But in my head, I was like, well, he's not like – I didn't think he's that much the Tennessee Kid. My specialist just named that. And it's like it was on his bag. You're like, oh, it's like – oh, you're the real Tennessee Kid. That's his bag in the video? Yeah, yeah. It's on his birth certificate. Yeah, he is the Tennessee Kid.

And so we did this video. Very funny. Rory Scovel texted me in this video. He's like, just a quick side note in this video is just Dr. J. I was about to say the same thing. Yeah. Like, oh, yeah, there's also Dr. J. Also Dr. J. Yeah.

I mean, just out of nowhere, just Dr. J. Me and Dr. J rode together. So they do like a Ryder Cup. It's crazy. It is. It's crazy. The whole time I drove, my head was going, Dr. J, Dr. J, Dr. J. I just kept telling myself, I couldn't believe it. Dr. J is awesome. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah.

just, it felt like you're riding with a buddy. What were you calling him? Uh, I would go doc a little bit. A lot of people said doc a lot. I said Julius a couple of times cause people said Julius. And so I didn't know, like, you don't really know what to say, but you find yourself easily just saying doc. And I mean, he answers to everything, but, uh, yeah, it was like, he was just mean. I'm just driving around and like, you know, he's, uh, 73 years old. And, uh,

And it was just, he just is an awesome, awesome dude. Like, uh, just to like, we just were talking about like, so you put, you play like a Ryder cup style thing. And, uh, so it was me and doc versus them two for nine holes. And then we switched up and we played, uh, someone else for nine holes. And then, uh, and then the next day doc pinched a nerve and,

And so he was hurt. And then they put me with this guy, Drew Stoltz. Sleazy is his nickname. They have this – him and Colt Nose host a subpar golf podcast. And they're both unreal golfers. They both played like – Colt was like on the tour. And then Drew, he played – I think he – I don't know if he made the tour, but –

but he might have played a meeting tour or something like that. Their podcast is great if you like golf podcasts. Their subpar podcast is great. So I played with him, but he's like a legit real golfer. Unbelievable. I'm going to text you.

Did Dr. J score 100 in a game, or is that Wilt Chamberlain? Wilt Chamberlain. Did you ask him that? Hey, was that you? Yeah. Yeah, I go, hey. I asked him about flying. I'm going to airdrop you this other picture, Aaron. Got it. I asked him about when they flew, when they were coming up. I was like, did y'all – they flew commercial at the beginning.

Like, so like back in his day when he first started, like, can you imagine like the NBA? You just got to go fly. So go to that. Go to this. So this one goal. So this is the last day of the tournament. And we're playing. This is like a 211 yard par three. I was this close to winning a Lamborghini. Wow. Wow.

I was with CeCe Sabathia and Jimmy Rollins versus me and Drew Stoltz. This is insane. And we're watching it, dude. And I'm like, I haven't had a hole-in-one. I've had a hole-in-one on a par three course that I don't really count, but I've never had one in a full round. And this was a very far hole. Dude. Because they have to because it's for a Lamborghini. So they, like if you ever play in a golf tournament, and their cars are, if anybody's playing a golf tournament, there's hole-in-ones for cars all the time. They do an insurance thing. But they have to.

But they have a yardage that you have to be, and it kind of depends on the car. And so, like, it used to – like, usually it's like 185-yard par 3 is what something has to be. But I guess because it's a Lamborghini, they're like, no, it has to be over 206 yards. And so this was like 211. And I hit – what did I hit? A little 5 hybrid.

And I hit it. And dude, look, when you play golf, there's times when the ball goes, you're like, from the get-go, you're like, this is going to be, there's a chance it's going to be good. And so we're sitting there watching it. It's a long watch because it's flying so far. And in my head, I'm thinking, dude, I'm about to win a Lamborghini. And

And, I mean, you got CeCe Sabathia just behind you. And we're like, God, like we're watching it. And, I mean, and we see it come. And then you're like, there's moments where you go, it's close. You're like, it looks so good coming in. Then it lands. And so then that's your second kind of adjustment to go, what's it doing? What started rolling towards the hole? So now I'm going, oh, my gosh, I'm about to, this is about to go in. And then it just stops just left of it.

Dude. And, I mean, I was like, I would have drove home. I just drove from Vegas. From Vegas. And be like, I'll just meet you guys at the house. They should have gave you a Honda Accord or something. That's what I, I said something like that, too. I was like, I should get, you know, something. Did you end up bogeying it, or? I three-putted it, got out of there. And the people watching it up at the, because there's, so there's people up at that hole.

watching that, I guess, is like part of this. They were not, they didn't give me anything. No kind of reaction? No kind of reaction. What did CeCe give you? CeCe went crazy. Jimmy Rollins? Yeah, yeah. That's what I would want. Oh, they all went crazy. Yeah, there's a video, there's a little video of a CeCe comes up, gives me a big high five. We were talking about it for like a few holes because it was such a fun watch. Yeah. Like the excitement of just being like,

Are we about to watch a hole-in-one? So everybody's going crazy. So we kept talking about it and just joking about it. Had to have been the closest one that day, right? I think so. How close is that? It's about a foot and a half, probably. So it's even closer than I realized. They gave me the putt. It's close enough. They just picked it up and were like, you're good. It was that close.

It was, yeah. I mean, man, it just, everything looked so good. All right. Sometimes with so many razors or care products options, it can be hard to decide and try something new, but Harry's makes it easy. They give you better razors than in-store options at the best price. I used the Harry's body wash, used it at Bridgestone Arena. Took it with me. It got me, you know, it gave me the confidence I needed to perform in front of 19,000 people. Shine. Shine.

Yeah. People talked about it. The starter set is a $13 value for just $3 at harrys.com slash nate. Includes a five-blade German-engineered razor, weighted handle, foaming shave gel, and traveler cover. Harry's makes great self-care products, makes more great self-care products than ever before. Shaving cream, sleek aerodynamic weighted handles that look great in your bathroom and give you precise control with each swipe.

And they're still offering no-risk trials. So if you don't like the shade, it's on them. Save the hassle. Set up your delivery and get there. Our thing was at the Wynn. And so we stayed at the Wynn. I mean, we were one hour. Within one hour, we went to the fight and was back in the hotel at the Wynn.

Because we went pretty late. And when we got there, we got in our seats, the bell rang and the fight started. And then once it ended, we had to get back because they were having another event for the Justin Timberlake thing. So we had to all get back. And so then we left right when it ended. And I mean, it was the best timing of going to something ever. Yeah.

That's how I like to do boxing matches. Just pop in, pop out. Pop in, pop out. Yep. I mean, I didn't see the walk-up. I didn't see... And I like... It was like... That part seems fun, though. That part does seem fun, but we just didn't get there in time. So none of the undercard? No. No, I mean, I sat down. When I sat in my seat, they rang the bell. They were waiting for you. Yeah. We go and begin. Yeah. Fallon gets... I'll tell you what. Fallon is...

And I've said it before, but like this is the first time we got hung out with I've hung out, found a bunch. But like this was a full weekend of foul and like especially in Vegas. And he's as good a guy as you want him to be.

And I've said it before that he is. But, I mean, it's just there's a lot I take that I can learn from watching him and the way he interacts with fans. He gets hounded everywhere. Oh. You didn't talk about the difference of fame? Yeah. I was telling Chase with me on the road, I was like, that's the difference. It's to be like, I can like, you know, someone comes to me every day. It's like you get recognized every day. It's not that.

And that's the difference of being on TV every day. When you're on TV every day, it's every single person knows who you are. And it's people from other countries. It's people from – there's no rhyme or reason to who's recognizing you. It's every single person. I mean, Timberlake is obviously like that too. I don't know if he – I didn't walk around with him, but found no security. We were with him, and he didn't have anybody with him. He took pictures with me.

He enjoyed everything. He is, it's a good person to, and Nick, you know, you've been around him a lot too, being on the show. But he's a great person to be around and to watch, to kind of see how you should handle yourself in situations. He does not make anybody feel like a bother. And I always like that. When someone comes up to him, you don't feel like you're,

like he's annoyed that he's having to talk to you. He's very good at moving stuff along. You have to move stuff along. So like, yeah, you can't sit there because it would be impossible. And it's too chaotic to be like, well. People that are good at that, it's an art. It's an art. It really is to be like, you give them a moment, they take a picture with you, but then it's also kind of, we got to keep going because it's just you, it's like. You'd be out there all day. Well, I mean, you just can't. Yeah, it's just impossible. It's just, you can't.

do whatever because there's too many people coming up. But I mean, he is a true pleasure. And if you met him, he's going to be exactly what you want him to be. And it's awesome to get to say. I don't know if you get to say that about everybody, but I can tell you, you can say it for him. And we were with his assistant. His assistant, Kelly, has been there with him for 14 years. I met her when I first met.

You probably met her when I first doing late night with Fallon. And she's still with him. And we were even saying, because I had Travis with me, I was like, does he need any help or whatever? And she's like, no, he knows. He'll get out of it. He has to get out of it. He knows. It's what he does. And then she just... And he would just go through and take all the pictures. And then we would kind of get going and walking and then get stopped a little again, do it quick, and then go and go. That's a long time to be his assistant too. I mean, do you think she'll ever just be...

eventually get promoted up to being him yeah eventually yeah yeah yeah i mean i guess she's a assistant i mean i think she's they i think vp or something she's like what no well she's just running his world yeah you know like i mean yeah i think it's you're above like you're not she's not an assistant like that she's uh i just like the idea of assistants are like someday you know i'll be you

Yeah, that's funny. Now, is the sports coat, is that for the after event or is that boxing attire? That was for the after event. So we went to a... I've never been to a boxing match. I don't know. Maybe you wear sports. No, people do. You think they wear... Yeah, why aren't you wearing boxing gloves? Yeah. When do you think that stopped? Do you ever see old pictures of like baseball games in the 20s? Everyone's wearing suits and top hats. At some point, people just started wearing sweatpants and t-shirts. Yeah, I mean... It's like, when did that happen? Now, Nick still does it, but...

He looks amazing. Oh, now you're coming back from that old windblown hair look? Yeah. Well, but you do dress. You're a good dresser. Yeah, I try to. And then Nick would have fit in in those times. Right. When they're people like in New York walking around the street. I saw some pictures and I was like, I missed that.

I was like, I wish we did some more of that. Well, the thing is, is you can get like this suit. If you were to wear this, you'd be like, oh, I feel like I'm wearing a sweat pantsuit. I mean, it's, you know. It's stretchy and it's, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You feel comfortable in it and it just looks nice. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I got in on the tail end of that. Back in my day, the NFL coaches still wore suits on the sidelines. Oh, really? Well, Tom Landry and he was the main one. I wish that was more. You're just naming. You're like, you know, Lombardi. Uh,

And, you know, Lombardi had a suit. I remember going to a game. He's coaching college. And I'm like, oh. Like the coach from Notre Dame in the Rudy movie. Yeah. Yeah. You got to remember, his first year, he showed up. He said, I'm not going to wear a suit. And we got on him. We got on him. You're too small to wear a suit, they say. Yeah.

Basketball coaches still wear suits. Yeah. But even that's getting a little bit more loose. Yeah. You could see them wearing like a – I think I like them wearing a suit. I'm still wearing a full uniform with the shorts. Pacing up and down. I would – yeah. I think I just – I mean, look, I don't wear a suit. But when I go on stage, I wear like –

Nice clothes. So you try to dress up. It is you want an event, but you really should. I wonder what the dress code is for an NBA coach, if there actually is a rule book. Because if I were an NBA coach, I would wear what the refs are wearing. You know, just a...

With the other team. Like if you could wear whatever you want to wear. This is a clean podcast. Oh, yeah. Shoot. Sorry. Just to mess with the other team. Just a wild animal. Out of all the words, the worst word. Will someone mark that down? Yeah. Yeah. You're going to be cut out of this whole. That'll be the last one. Yeah.

Uh, I think Giannis pop is like 14 times by this point. So you're killing it by comparison. So far you're doing good. Giannis was pretty bad. Uh, but not a bad idea. Dressing like a ref though. Yeah. Now you're trying to get out of it and move on. Maybe it's your gold teeth. Uh, you can't, uh,

No, yeah. Giannis cussed a bunch. So we left. It's all right. I'm not going to do it again. Yeah. I don't want to. You were. It's not because of the rules. I just don't feel like it. Now you're right. Now he's making a point. Now he's making a point. It's powered over there. I could have. It'd be funny. I'm angry the rest of the episode. Yeah. You go the last few. When we say goodbye, it's just beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. You're just like, well, Nick lost it at the end there.

uh, yeah, this whole Vegas thing was awesome though. I mean, the, I mean, obviously it was a crazy, crazy event. They raised a lot of money. Uh, and, uh,

I'm trying to think of anything else. How many people fit in that room, do you think? I mean, probably 18,000. It's that size? A little less than a Nate Bargettzi show. A little less than a Nate Bargettzi show. Well, that ring is about twice the size of the stage that you used. I'll give you – the ring is bigger than the stage. I did my joke at the Ryman show.

I can say it now because I'm not going to say it anywhere. Yeah. So, I did a show with the Ryman for Zany's 40th anniversary show. And so, Aaron was hosting. And so, when Aaron brought me up, I said, because I had a joke idea. And I said...

I was like, say I just broke the attendance record at Bridgestone because I was going to have a joke. So he brings me like, is this next comic? Broke the attendance record at Bridgestone. Please welcome Nate Bargett. He brings you up. And then I walked out and said, I usually don't do shows with this small of crowds. We're at a 2,800 seat theater. 2,800. Sold out. Sold out. Yeah. Got a big laugh. Yeah, it was fun. It was very fun. Uh,

Very cool to get. We didn't talk about this, right? No. No, this just happened. Yeah, so everybody that was on the show, it was, I don't know, was that before? This was before. They waited until you left. Oh, I wasn't there. We were waiting for you, and then, you know, you big-timed everybody, showed up later. Why was I late? I did not mean to big-time everybody. I know. Nobody thought you were. It would have been nice to have you in this photo. It would have been. I should have been there. Not too late.

Yeah, they could just put me in there. They could Photoshop you in. But you got one at the end. Everybody came back out. Yeah. I don't know why I was so far. I was trying to – I was way off to the right. Because you had just finished your set. I just finished my set. And I was also trying to get away from James Gregory to give him – James Gregory is the legend, the been around for 100 years. So there's like – in that moment, you're like –

That sounded like I'm trying to go... James Gregory had something, and I didn't want to catch what he had. Now, James Gregory is, bless his heart, been around forever. So, like, when they meet, like, he's kind of like, you're like, you're just being like, this ain't about me, dude. Like, this is... James Gregory's the guy that's... Well, I had that when I came back out after his set. He was, like, getting a standing ovation. Yeah. So...

He did good though. You backed off of it. Backed off and kind of let him. You have good proper. I noticed that stuff. That's an engineer and does have that. Yeah. I'm a big, like you never leave the stage empty. Remember get told that like, I like that kind of stage stuff. And so when you walked out there for the James Gregory, cause it, you know, he needs a little help walking out and stuff. And, uh,

you when you you noticed it you backed off and i i noticed that okay and then i like that because i i it shows like uh appreciating for what and that i was trying to do that then but then with no context it looks like i'm just going like i don't belong with these people and i should be my own person also though i want to talk about this wave form you've got the

Looks like the right hand up and then you've got the left hand crossing. Yeah. Is this to say, God bless America? Yep. I would, if you wanted to start, if you wanted to swear me in to oath, I could do it. I'm always ready to be swearing to oath. I'll tell you everything. Yeah, I always think, I'm afraid to wave too high because I'm afraid my shirt's going to come up. Yeah. So, like, when I wave, I always... See, John's confident. Well, yeah, I mean, if you...

His stomach's flatter. I mean, I'm... So maybe even in a way, you're kind of holding your shirt down. Oh, my biggest nightmare is my shirt. Isn't that everybody's biggest fear? It's like the bottom of your shirt comes up and you're like, you're skinny, so it doesn't matter. Reality sets in.

But if you're not skinny... You ever see a fat guy fall over? The first thing he does is make sure the shirt's down below his pants. Always thinking about it. Oh, I do that too. I was thinking earlier, is it a nightmare too? Because when we were sitting downstairs, you were in the chair and I just had a jacket laying over the thing. When someone tries to pull a jacket out and you're leaning on it, is that like a nightmare? Yeah.

Did that happen? Did you pull it out? No, I didn't. But a thought in my head was like... I would think if...

If you're sitting on something and you're like, I'm sorry, and then you realize. Dude, you're sitting on so much of it. Yeah. You have to lift up. That's got to be. This is kind of what happened on the plane last night is the person next to me rested their leg up against my foot. And I realized, oh, they think my foot's part of the plane. Yeah. So now at some point I have to move my foot slightly just to let them know, hey, this isn't a plane. Yeah. This is me. And I did that and it was like she just moved right away. Yeah.

But yeah, it's like that moment of like letting someone know like, hey, you're not actually on couch, you're on jacket. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like you have no idea you're on the jacket. And so then it's just like the whole room sees you go, oh, you're just sitting on someone's clothes. But then when the jacket's pulled out, you're like, honestly, this couch was more comfortable with that jacket. Yeah. Yeah. I like to put it back. I think like a kid could sit on a jacket and you would pull it out from under them and it's not a big deal. But I just, I would imagine, I'm just going off.

If you're a bigger guy, you just don't want to be sitting on clothes because it means you just back down and you didn't see anything. You didn't feel anything. You didn't feel anything. And when they pull it, it's like, oh, I'm sorry. And then if it's a corner, you're like, no big deal. But if it's like – Yeah, it's all warm now. Yeah, you're like, I need you to stand up. You got to brace yourself. You got to stand up. It actually got caught kind of in your belt. Yeah. Yeah, it did.

Big guys have the same rules that mail trucks do about backing up. You don't do it. That's very funny. You don't do it. If they go, it's on you. What's the, could you have that thing pulled up still? No. Oh, it's, what is it saying? Like, uh, here it is. Uh, let me just see the same as big as ago. Uh,

Am I backing up because I'm in a hurry? Is there a safe alternative to backing up? Is backing up my last resort? Could someone be behind me, perhaps a child? That's a big one. Am I relying on lady luck? These are the questions you ask yourself as a big man backing up. Backing up as a big guy is a personal decision. Is someone behind me, perhaps a jacket? Perhaps a jacket. In most situations, you choose to maneuver yourself to avoid backing up.

The safety of others depends on you. Do the right thing. Avoid backing up when you're in someone's house. Yeah, what will I say to a grief-stricken mother who's just lost a child? Children live and play where you walk around, in the neighborhoods, in the houses you're going to.

All it takes is one second for a child to dart behind you as you back up. As you're trying to sit down. Only you can avoid backing up. Man, that's... Look at that. That was great. That was funny. That was great. You, Nick, I've seen Nick. My favorite thing is you can be confrontational, is the guitar. Remember when we were flying and you put the guitar up? Yeah. Because Nick will be... I love...

I love confrontation if it's not me, but I'm like kind of in, I can see it. Front row seat to it. If I got a front row seat to it,

Nick is one that's great. I've lately taken the backseat. A mom at my son's soccer game last week got confrontational, and I kind of egged her onto it. I was like, did you see that? I mean, that was a handball. And I know that she's ready to go. Now I'm egging her on. Now you're doing it. Now what happened with the guitar on the plane? It's just having a guitar, traveling with a guitar, everyone from the

the car that you're in to once you get on the plane is telling you we can't, that won't fit on the plane. That won't all the employees, the whole airport staff. And then when you get on the plane, they're like, Oh yeah, you can put it anywhere you want. Want me to hold it the whole flight. I mean, they don't care, but, but trying to like get it above, you know, the seats, it can be an issue. And yeah, I don't know. He was, you were sitting there and you go, uh,

whose suitcase is this or something? Yeah, sometimes because you don't want to... I've done that where you just touch somebody's suitcase and you're like, hey, don't touch my suitcase. It's like, no, sorry. So he's asking. He's doing the right thing. Whose suitcase? This is nobody's suitcase. No one's answering. And it's kind of an awkward thing because it's like he's asking and it's...

We're all sitting there where you're like, it's somebody's. And that somebody is right here and no one's answering. And so he goes, well, I'm going to move it over just to the other side. Like just move it. Just talking to the void. So if anyone's listening, I'm going to move this over to the other side. And he moves it over. And then...

And then the guy's like, that's my suitcase. Don't touch it. You're like, well, I mean, he's been asking the whole time. Well, no, then I...

Then you sit next to the... No, the guy goes, don't touch my suitcase. And I'm like, well, I already mentioned it, you know. And he was like, yeah, just put it back. And I looked at his wife and I go, you want to talk to your husband about who she should be talking to? Yeah. Who he should be talking to. Yeah, yeah. And it just got real quiet. It got real quiet. And then he sat down next to him for the whole flight. And Nate looked at me like, thank you. Yeah. Oh, I loved it. I mean, just an uncomfortable...

It was great. Nick did the right thing. I mean, he was asking very politely, very nice, very charismatic. You gave him a chance. And then in the end, I was an absolute jerk. Yeah. Just can't do it, can you? But that's better than the last one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going in the right direction. You're working in the right direction. Yeah, okay. We're going down. Yeah, we're going down. We're doing good. We're going to get you right.

Our next partner is Athletic Greens. I think all of us are trying to take our AG1 by Athletic Greens every day. We all gave AG1 a try because we wanted increased energy and immune system support for our busy lifestyles. We all try to take AG1 in the mornings before starting the day, and it makes us feel like we're doing something good to cover all our nutritional bases. I had it this morning. It's just the way to start the day. It's great.

It's much easier, you can attest to this, it's much easier to mix the one scoop of powder in water once a day than to take a bunch of different things. It's the healthiest thing you can do in under a minute, and it costs less than $3 a day. Can you believe it? Since we travel so often, we also get this...

Sorry, sorry. That's all right. Let it go. Since we travel so often, we also try to get the single serving travel packs. So we never have to miss a day when we are on. Yeah. That was good. Tom. Yeah.

Tommy Bowles coming in. I mean, imagine every time someone, he has to get up and go. ABM. Yeah. ABM was tough. He's got to go to, he's like, I got to go to the bathroom real fast. I bet you do. Tommy Bowles. He's like, oh. Release the Bowles. Release the Bowles. I recently saw an ad for a Nate Borghese t-shirt with Nate's name on the breast. I struggle with wearing some of the dude's name around, even jerseys of famous players.

I make up a rule in my head that the person has to be older than me if I'm going to wear something with a name on it. I like y'all's take on wearing jerseys, shirts with names of others on them. I agree with the person, them being older than you. So I guess I'm not older than him. You can wear Tom Brady's jersey and that's it. Yeah, I can wear Tom Brady's jersey.

I do agree with you. And we have our name. That's why a lot of the stuff we have Nate laying to on some stuff now because it's like I do get it's like tough. But some of it's like the tour shirt. So it's the Nate Borghese tour. So it's like you have it on there. But I understand what he's saying. I mean, I'm wondering. He only has one breast.

That's true. Well, name on the breast. It's just kind of a weird way to describe it, I think. I wish he would have just said breasts. Oh, he just said, but my name's only on one breast. Okay. It's not on the other. So it just says Nate? Yeah. Like it's a work shirt? Yeah. Nate Bargetzi. But it says your name. Oh, okay. So it says Nate Bargetzi on the, I thought, no one, you didn't get it? No, I had that shirt. I love that shirt. Yeah.

No, I didn't. I thought it just meant across that. That's just a weird way to describe a fucking shirt. I don't think he... I thought he described it perfectly, Tommy. Yeah, bowel movement over here. Yeah. Talking about breasts. Yeah. I thought he nailed it. Wear whatever makes you comfortable, Tommy. I understand. But would you wear... I've wore like the Titans jersey. You got like...

You know, Derrick Henry. He had a Henry jersey. But I wore it because they, like, gave it to you. They gave it to you. I could understand. Somebody gives you a jersey? Yeah. Whatever. But I could see wearing it. If you have a Henry jersey and you're going to the game and you're like, I don't know. Some of the football jerseys, you're like, I would say if you're in the environment of the game, I don't think it really matters because it's like you're going to the game. Wearing it to, like, the grocery store, yeah, that's crazy. And then you should be – I think adults, you shouldn't be really wearing jerseys like –

You should be wearing them at the game, but don't wear them. No, I think the opposite. Wear them only in grocery stores. You don't think you should wear them at the game? No. In my case, Derrick Henry could be my son. That'd be great if he was. He could be your grandson, maybe. In between, maybe. Well, what if they need you? Yeah. You've already got the jersey. There you go. You're ready to go. Well, I mean, your age, you're just too old for jerseys.

But you watch coaches wear suits. You probably could never get a New Jersey. I mean, you would go to. It would be tough. Dr. J. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it would be tough. You'd go to a football game with a newspaper, one of those hats on, a little pencil. Keep the box score? Keep the box score. I would do that. Have you ever kept the box score? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, at a game?

When I was a kid, yeah, I would go to the Nashville Sounds game and keep bug scores. I mean, when I stole first base, the parent that was keeping the bug score had a race. You stole it from home? I stole second, and then I stole first. It's a whole thing. It'd make you curse again. Corey O'Brien, while the last airline to ban smoking did so in the late 90s, you still see ashtrays in airplane bathrooms.

The reason you see this is because of the few idiots that think they can sneak in a cigarette break in the bathroom. If they're dumb enough to smoke on a plane, you better bet they're dumb enough to start a small fire 30,000 feet in the air. The ashtrays are for that exact reason. Wow. So they're almost like saying it's okay to smoke.

Give me an option. I don't think many people are ripping cigs in the bathroom. I think it's all vape now. Well, I think now it's all vape. And I think a pretty good amount of people are just vaping at their seat. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they just blow it into their shirt or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think now. But I bet people would go try to sneak a cigarette in. Sometimes you miss that old stuff, man. That's a weird one. People...

People smoking on a plane. People smoking cigarettes. You shouldn't smoke cigarettes. I thought about that this weekend. The plane is so small. Just to think that everyone was just ripping cigarettes back then. You're like, golly. They'd crack a window. They had a smoking section. Yeah.

They did have a smoking section. It was in the back. There's the... Yeah. Yeah. Was it walled off with like a... No, no, no. I think you smelled like cigarettes. But I think back then you just smelled like cigarettes. I think everyone, yeah, every jacket you owned. Just the world smelled like cigarettes. Yeah. Yeah. But there's something nice about that.

It's like there's something – the older I am – I mean, I remember you were doing comedy. Places that people are smoking. Yeah, and I remember just being on stage and just seeing – you would see the smoke rise, and you knew, all right, I'm either got to just wear this exact same thing all weekend or everything I own is going to smell like cigarette smoke all weekend. But there's something that you kind of miss about it.

Like it's like an old school. Yeah, it's just the idea of it's nostalgic, you know? Yeah, I think that's it. Like if I see someone, like an old dude seeing his folks cigarettes, I was like, good for you, man. Sticking it to the man. Don't smoke though, kids, because I mean, it's not good for you. But just be like, when you see an old man doing it, just be like,

You know, just tip the hat. It's like an old dinosaur. You know, you're seeing like an old dinosaur. You're like, there ain't going to be many more of those left. Enjoy it while you can. Enjoy watching someone doing it while you can. Jordan Chamberlain. Maybe Will Chamberlain's son. Yeah. I've been a fan of Nate's. Let's see if this comment scores 100 points or not. I've been a fan of Nate's since Full Time Magic. He's up. I recently went down to Nate YouTube rabbit hole and saw a set at the Laugh Factory.

When he was talking about Target, Walmart, and Kmart, he used a bad word. It was so strange. I'm just curious on his thoughts about it. It's funnier when he says, I'm not old money. So I'd love to hear his thoughts and his process of how he worked that joke. Ooh, Nick, now it's on the other foot here. Oh, wow. Mr. Putty Mouth. I don't remember what I said. I think... Probably the SH word, I bet. No. It was the second word he used. Oh. I'm not old money. I'm not a...

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that's what I said? Mm-hmm. I don't remember that. Uh, yeah, I don't like that. Uh,

I would have done it then because it was at Laugh Factory and it was like you're in front of a crowd that's seen dirty. So it's like I would think like I was always clean, but then sometimes you would think like it's late. Not a lot of people like I need this one maybe word. And I wasn't good enough comic to think like that word just would get the laugh and I wasn't good enough comic to...

I mean, I could basically not do it. I have another one, Yelled Out by a Clown, where I'm like, don't be a, you know, VI. The one where you follow the person home? Yeah. Yeah, it's one of my favorite jokes. I know. And that one, I asked my dad about. When I did it, I was like talking to him. I go, I can't think of another word to say here. Like, this word works so good. Mm-hmm.

And I can't figure out a way to do it. And I told my dad and then he, my dad, you know, luckily being comedian, basically, you know, my dad's like, no, I mean, yeah, if it's the word that needs to be used for the light, like he's like, you know, cause I'm not using any other word.

You know what I found is that if you actually just say the word as if you're saying the other word, because it's really like the way that you're projecting the word that gets it. So if you say another word that in that same way, because usually when you, I think when people replace a word, they say it differently. Yes. They like go down. They're not as confident. They do whatever. But if you just come out with it, because I did that with a word that I was like, there's no way.

You know, that this is going to change. And it made it better. Yeah, because now you're getting the laugh that it's not the word, but you're using the inflection of that word. So you're actually getting two laughs off something. And there's two ways you could do it. You could use the word that everyone knows. You could use a silly version of it, you know, like that is like, oh, yeah, that's an old way that people used to say that. Yeah.

But a lot of times you might not get the response, but if you just say it like it. Yeah. I've never thought of that. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. I mean, I could have said fire truck. Like you could say anything. You could have said snitch. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Which would, I should have. Man. I did. I changed that exact. Yeah. Word.

Yeah. Just hit it with the same energy. Just hit it with the same... Yeah, it's tough. Yeah, I just wasn't the comic to figure it out back then. But thanks for bringing up that moment, Jordan. Yeah. There goes that 100. Yeah. He started the game with 100, and then they found out he was cheating. At the end, he's like, so you suck, right? Yeah. It was... No, no, it's...

It's funny, dude. That one, I always try to say it's like that one.

And that Y'all Not About Clown. And I know that I have no, like the Laugh Factory sets, you have no control over. That's the Laugh Factory posts that stuff on YouTube. So they have, so like some of that too was like I was doing a show that night. I'm not even thinking about it being filmed. And you're just, because you know, it's like, I mean, truthfully in that crowd, there's like 25 people there. There's not that many people there. And then they film it. Now it's, now it's, people see it.

So I, like, I would now, now I would never, like. But if you didn't sign paperwork, you should just have them take it down. I might have signed paperwork. Who knows? Even if you did, it doesn't matter. They would still take it down. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's not, it's not that, you know, it's, it's, look, I'm not perfect. I am now, but. Because then you are. But I was not perfect back then, but now I'm, I'm pretty perfect. No. Drew Oglesby.

Nick, do you remember that night? I do. Yeah.

His name was Nick something. Well, Nick, you're basically clean. Yeah. Besides right now. But even hearing this, Nick's always been, you're basically clean. We're going out this weekend. It's not hard for you to be clean. You're out of the...

Transitioning of being clean, not clean. You're the easiest to do it because you've already always been basically clean. My last five hours on the road that I've done, I've done totally clean. It's a great exercise, but also it does – when I see what it does for you, especially doing corporate shows and stuff like that, it's like –

Yeah. And especially where your act is, is no, you're already clean. So it's like, just do, it was like Vecchione, like it was like, oh, like great. Like they would have little stuff here and there and you know, but then it was like, you're just basically already there. Like just commit to it. And then that way you're,

But, I mean, do whatever everybody wants to do. When you do this stuff and they book an opener sometimes... So, I just got to ask... We just talked about it last night. If you go see Aaron on the road, we talked about it, you're not always going to get to bring your opener. You're not always in charge of who is going to get to... You're going to come see. So...

Eventually, you will be, but it takes a while to get to the point where you can bring someone. You can tell the club, hey, I'm clean. If people want to come out from Nate Land, just so you know, they're going to have a tendency to be wanting a clean show. That does not mean that the club's going to do it or whatever. There's a point in your career where I'd imagine, Aaron, you're at,

where it's like you're just stuck in this kind of thing where sometimes you can bring your own person, sometimes you can't bring your own person, or you're definitely not going to have your own host. Right. And you're at a club, so you're trying your best to try to say it's a clean show. Totally. But it might not be. And I always think the audiences, when you go, they understand that. You don't really have a huge say in it.

I have them send me YouTube videos if I'm going to do local openers. Like, let me just see. I'm going to approve of them. But I had somebody recently, I finally said this. I don't know if you've ever had this where the feature act walked off stage and I'm standing there and he goes, they sucked.

And he's honestly, he said that was what was going on. And, and I looked at him and I said, don't ever tell a headliner that. Yeah. Don't ever come off and think I want your opinion on that audience, especially as I'm about to step into an hour with them. Yeah. You want me to start off thinking like negatively, you know? And I, I've wanted to say that so many times to people because it's like, don't put your

yeah your experience out there is not mine yeah they're actually here for me yeah this is gonna be different yeah yes but it was i don't i don't know yeah i've had that happen too i don't love it like i think they're trying to it's like it'd be one thing if like it's me and you going up and saying something because like we've been on shows when it's like your peer like you're just like dude i don't know i thought they were weird like you're like okay but it is when someone you don't know you're like

Yeah, man. I mean, I don't want to go into it like thinking they're not good. And then usually they're awesome. Yeah, that was the exact case. Yeah. I've had that from the opposite direction, though, where the headliners ask me, how are they? And I don't want them to think that I – if I had a bad set, I don't want them to think that I think that was good. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I find myself saying, I think they're just really excited to see you.

Or something like that. Sometimes they are. They are. It may very well be true. But instead of saying they were terrible, and I don't want to really say I'm terrible, but I also don't want this guy to think I think that was a good set. It's hard. Also, the opener, you have to think about it. You've got to practice a lot, so you're nailing it. I mean, I've had a lot of practice. I've got it memorized. What audiences look for in an opener is get me to the headliner. Yeah.

you have to, you're battling against them just thinking you're okay. That's just kind of what they're going to think. You know, like you actually have to either be better than that or I don't know. It's, I just see it over and over again where people like people will say like, oh man, you should have been the headliner. And it's like, well, no, I,

I only did 15 minutes. That was really easy. Yeah. That's not like working an hour, you know? It's a completely different thing. Yeah. I've had a lot of that too, where they're like, man, yours was so funny. You're like, yeah, yeah. I was in a perfect situation. Yeah, yeah. It's going to be very easy. I would say, but you also wouldn't have been at the show if I was the headliner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. That's why when my show, like on the road now, we have two to three openers. But it's like trying to build that where it's like the openers are – it's fun. Comedy openers are different than music openers. I think music, a lot of people don't always – I mean, some people do want to go see the openers, but sometimes people don't. But with comedy, you're like – I mean, everybody's doing like 10 minutes or something up there. Yeah.

12 minutes. So it's like you get to watch some comedy. You get a shot. That's the thing is you get a shot to do great. Yeah. You kind of have to. But I mean, yeah, what I'm saying is like, oh, when I go out now too is like, we just filmed, we're filming this right now at Zany's, the showcase, where the day this comes, well, no, it won't. It'll already be over. But-

We just did one last night at Zany's. Dusty hosted. Aaron's hosting tonight, and then you're hosting the next night. And then it's all like – I mean, a lot of comics that are like – they actually have credits and tour and headline and stuff like that. But it's comics that can be clean. And we did it last night, and it was awesome. And so the whole – it's like I just tell everybody, like I said, TV clean, basically like –

And we filmed last night, and it was just – I mean, I had so much fun. And it was – I'm not on it, but you guys are on it. I directed it. But it's just so much fun, and it's just like – I just want – the audience that listens to comedy, it can get – being accessible –

to a lot of different ages, it's a good thing for comedy. And people want to laugh. I mean, that's why Laugh USA and those clean, serious ones are like, a lot of people listen to that. Yeah. Because they want to hear, because comedy is very easy to kind of listen to. And it's just nice to listen to. On a long drive, you just hear and you're laughing. It's a very pleasurable thing. And I like when we go out, it's like they have openers because it's like,

Yeah, it's like then everybody can see you're seeing it. Like that's part of the show. Like come watch the whole show and you're going to just sit and relax and have fun and know that you're going to have fun and you get to see everybody, you know? Stand-up shows are more set to be a whole show than a music show because in a music show they do like a half hour between. They reset the stage, you know? Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah. It's just like once the show starts, it's like we're rolling. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com.

It can be hard to balance things or your time and spending on other people. You need to do a lot of stuff for a lot of other people, but you also need to take care of yourself and you need to talk about your stuff, stuff that you're going through, stuff that I think both of you, Aaron and Dusty, should...

have to talk about y'all need y'all got something wrong with you and you should go talk to someone about it you're right uh we spend you know like if you're doing stuff i believe right you're doing a lot of stuff for a lot of other people and it's easy to not think you have anything to worry about but if the more you want to give the more you need to kind of be able to give and so you don't

Stuff I work on is I can take out stuff on other people that shouldn't have it taken out. But for some reason, it's building up, and then you just send it in a direction that it's not fair for it to be sent in. Therapy can give you tools to find more balance in your life. Better health. You have podcasts. You have interviews. We're filming stuff this week at Zany's. There's a little more stuff at home. Yeah, but my son even. I'm like, how many...

I see all the people picking up the kids at school when I go, and it's like, how many parents do you think pick up their kid at 2.30 and give them their full rest of the day? Like, I don't have to go to work. We're from 2.30 to bedtime together doing fun stuff. That's awesome. And that's like the way to do it for me. Yeah. It's a different – you travel a lot, but I mean, I don't know a lot of business guys that travel –

that will leave on a Monday and go somewhere until Friday, and then they come home and they just live on the weekend. And some of it is because they want to raise their kids here instead of somewhere else. And so that's just what they have to do. People have to travel for work, and that's always a tough... It used to wipe me out a lot more, too. I used to come home and be like,

It's like that coming home from camp feeling where nobody around you experienced what you just went through. Right, right. And no one's helping you walk into the grocery store anymore. Yeah, yeah. All these things. And then you're like, I'm really tired. I want a nap. I usually get a nap now. Yeah, yeah. This is weird. Yeah, when I come home off the road, it'll be... I mean, now that Harper's 10...

You know, your kids start getting busy or they want to FaceTime their friends or all this kind of stuff. But like, we'll be around. Like, and yeah, you're just, you know, a lot of it's being around and then you're kind of just hang out. And yeah, we're all here. And yeah, it's great. I don't know. Raleigh Allen. Allen. The first comedian I ever even, I even remember watching was the Red Skelton on a VHS with my grandfather when I was around seven years old. Why are you looking at me?

Because there's a shot at you at the end of this comment. I'm now 28. I was wondering if you guys remember the first comedian you ever saw on TV or in person, or in Brian's case, maybe an AM radio station. Now I see why you're looking at me. Brian was at that taping for Ed Skelton. I vaguely remember...

my parents watched Johnny Carson. Yeah. And I'd be on the floor playing. And I feel like this was George Carlin. Wooden toys. It could have been. Yeah. It could have been some wooden toys. Was plastic really around? That rocking horse that wouldn't run. Yeah. Well, they didn't have couches yet. Yeah. Yeah.

This was late 70s, early 80s. I feel like it was George Carlin, although the joke I'm about to tell doesn't sound like a George Carlin joke. But they're playing, they're watching them, you know, whatever. And he said something about, you ever been at the grocery store and you look in someone else's...

cart and you're like, ew, you eat that? And for whatever reason as a seven-year-old kid, that really resonated with me because I've seen other people's food and I thought that was so funny. That's the only part I remember. But

That's one of the first jokes I remember. Yeah, little things like that will just stick out. Because I got it as a kid. Like, ugh, other people's food is gross. Remember Jeff Foxworthy's album? Remember where he was like a bachelor talking about what a bachelor home was like compared to when he's married? I don't know. That was really good. That hit me. Mine was Sinbad, Afros and Bell Bottoms. Oh, yeah. I remember we were allowed to watch that. His McDonald's, someone waiting in line to order a McDonald's menu and just being like, how do you not know what this menu is? Yeah.

stuff like that. And like, just, he would act it all out. I re I remember that. I remember my buddy had a CD player. He was sitting outside the school and a couple of people had headphones on and they were just howling, laughing and like, you got to come listen to this. And I put it on. It was Jeff Foxworthy.

You might be a redneck if you're just running through them. Yeah, I remember that. That's the funniest thing any of us had ever heard at the time. I thought yours was going to be like something embarrassing. Like for us, for being older. Yeah, yeah. Like yours, you know, you're like, I remember listening to Bill Burr. That was early on. Daniel Tosh. I remember one of his albums on LimeWire. What if I were like, dude, Matt Rife. You know, he's what got me into good.

Yeah. Someone brand new, you're like, golly, dude. Yeah. Daniel Tosh is very funny. So funny. I remember he had a joke about

with all the world leaders, but you can only bet with what your country's worth. And he's like, wouldn't it be great being America? Uh-oh, Costa Rica's going all in with 15 coconuts. Oh, man. Dude, I laughed so hard at that. Yeah, he is so... I've never met him. His stand-up. But his stand-up, he's very underrated. You've never met Daniel? Mm-mm. Well, we were talking...

earlier about Mystique. He's a guy, I know nothing about his personal life. I don't know his views on anything. I never see him on a podcast. He just... He did a... I remember hearing this back when I was doing a lot more comedy clubs, but they were like, yeah, Tosh doesn't do radio. This is like when you had to do radio all the time. It's like, yeah, that's part of his contract, doesn't do radio. Because he was selling out. That was also... His stand-up was so...

Joke heavy and really well written long pieces. And in a way that like, you know, Bill Burr can take that

that angle that is like shocking. He was doing that. I mean, Tosh was doing that like majorly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Saying crazy stuff. Yeah. Yeah. He was very, yeah. He's very, very funny. Obviously. I mean, everybody knows that, but I just think he gets a little underrated. For sure. Because you don't see much of him, but man, he's great. I was born, Terry Weaver. I was born in Alabama when I heard that Aaron was from Alabama. It made me start thinking a bit.

I've been able to trace my father's lineage about nine generations back to Germany where Peter Weber, pronounced V-E-B-E-R, left Germany and came over to the United States. Somewhere along the way, my father's line of the family tree changed the spelling and pronunciation of Weber to Weaver.

I wonder if Aaron may know much about his own lineage. It's at least interesting considering the origin of both of our surnames as well as our Alabama roots. No, I don't know a whole lot about that. I will say I'm more likely to think we're not related, that we both lived in Alabama and didn't know each other.

And one chose to change their name. The other didn't. Yeah. Yeah. That would be, if you were from a different part of the country, I think there'd be more of a chance. I don't know if that makes sense.

It doesn't – Yeah. To me, it does. Yeah. To me, the whole – I would know somebody from my own family if I lived in the same state with them. Yeah, but I mean you could – he's saying like – but you don't know cousins. You know when someone finds out someone's related and it's like – you're like, oh, dude, we're – I always remember like Vince Carter and Tracy McGrady were like cousins or something. Me and Wayne didn't. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Remember I was saying the... His dad's best friend. Yeah. Yeah. Our family, if that's all about my McDonald's Happy Meal story, where they didn't give me a Happy Meal. Yeah. The Dentons. Wayne Denton and Bates are cousins. Distant related. Yeah. Oh, that's crazy. That's insane. Yeah. Are they related to the family in Yellowstone? The Dentons? I don't think so. Maybe though. I didn't watch Yellowstone. Jell-O-Stone? Jell-O-Stone. Yeah. Laura's watching Yellowstone. Yeah. I'm not watching it. Laura's going through it.

She's going through it really hard right now. She's really going through it. She's going through some Yellowstone right now. Yeah, so I hope we answered that. I don't think we did, but yeah. Sorry, Terry. Maybe we were related. Terry, let me ask you this. Did you have money? Because the— The Wiebers. The Wiebers. Aaron, the Wieber family is loaded. Yeah. So, yeah, we'd be interested to know if Terry—

He may have grown up on the wrong side of the track. Maybe your family wouldn't allow his family to come over. They were like the ne'er-do-wells. Yeah. Here we go. Kelly Jonas. Hello, folks. I'm a newer comic, and I want to make a career. That's Kyle.

Kyle Jonas. Hello, folks. I'm a newer comic. Nothing like Kelly. And I want to make a career out of comedy. I've been constantly doing well at the open mics I go to every night, but I want to take things to the next level. So my question is having a social media presence with a large amount of followers necessary for a young comic to get over at clubs, or can you get yourself to a paid regular spot without social media even in today's world? Thanks for all the laughs and hopefully the advice.

I do not think that's possible. With social media? I think it's horrible that that's the truth. It's so not a thing that you signed, I signed up for when I became a comedian. But right now, the way things are going, I mean, you guys, I don't need to, I don't want to mention his name again.

But you guys mentioned someone earlier who's like really getting a lot of heat right now. He did a show before me in Vancouver and they were like at the same venue and they were like, women were throwing their phone numbers on stage. Yeah. You know, and it was like, it was not, and he's funny, he's such a good kid, but it's like. He's Jeff Foxworthy. Yeah. Pesty slay. But you know, it's like, yeah, that's how it happens now. That is the only way.

That's all the clubs look at. How many followers? Can you post a post every day promoting your shows? Yeah. Yeah, it's a completely different game, and I'm definitely happy I started when I started. Me too. And I wouldn't want to go back. Look, all that being said, I think you can still be a great comic and can get stuff. I really do. I think you can... You do need a social media presence. I do understand all that kind of stuff. But, I mean, if you can...

Focus on your comedy and really be great at it and be funny. You could just... I mean, even if you're just posting... Your social media presence could be just posting your stand-up clips. That would be the easiest. You don't have to go have a personality of whatever. But I know a lot of people do the crowd work stuff and all that stuff. But I think if you just post actual clips of stand-up...

Like, you could do that. The problem is that they're being seen way too early. Oh, yeah. And you shouldn't be seen that young. That's what was good about our time. I had to get a spot at the improv before anyone close to being important saw me. And now people or assistants are combing through Instagrams and TikToks and forwarding them onto the... But I don't think it does people a service because it's...

Kyle, I would tell you... No, it doesn't do good for him. Look, I would tell you, as a newer comic, and if you want to make creative of it, it's like you just...

go to the open mics, go every night, keep getting, just keep writing, keep getting better. Yeah. Social media is going to matter and it is going to do stuff. If you, if you, if you don't want to have to create an act for social media, then I would just say, just film your sets and post clips of your sets up on your social media, just your standup. And then that way it's like kind of a

loose way of being on social media instead of having to like have a persona. Because I think writing to be a character on social media, that's like going to take you away from writing your jokes and stand-ups not going to... You're going to end up not like... Like everybody doing these crowd work videos and stuff, like, I mean, is that what your act's going to be? Like you can't, you know...

I think to get the quick jump is the social media grab of it all, but to get to a level where you can tour for...

the rest of your life, you're not going to be able to do it with crowd work. You just can't. You're not going to be able to play big places doing crowd work. You just can't. It's not good. It doesn't work. You can do clubs. You can go headline clubs. I'm not saying that's not a bad thing, but to get to another level, you have to have an act. You have to, people are buying a ticket for a professional act. And so if your act is always just crowd work and

That's going to work for a little bit, but I don't think it's going to work for a long run. You have to have – I mean, when you go see Harlem Globetrotters, that's an act. You're seeing something that's designed to be like – it's so good because they practice that thing. They don't just go, let's see what happens. You're buying a ticket because I'm going to watch a professional act.

Now, if you're at a club, yeah, it's much different. At a comedy club, the crowd work stuff or whatever, that can be – it's a very looser experience. Tickets are cheaper. There's a lot of stuff. It's about the vibe in the room. That's great. But if you're trying to go past that, you've got to have an accent. I saw this Reddit post.

Like a subreddit where somebody posted like a crowd work clip, right? Yeah. On their social media. And then somebody commented on it. I was in the audience. No one suggested that. He just said it as if somebody did. Yeah. That's fair. And then like crowd work, you know? But it was like it was a pre-written thing that he had set up. Yeah. A lot of crowd work is like you got to – crowd work becomes an act because there's only so many times like –

Where are you from? San Diego. All right. Well, if I've done comedy for a year and done a lot of comedy, I've probably had someone from San Diego or somewhere near San Diego. I probably have a joke that I remember saying. What are you, divorced? Here's my divorce joke. What are you, a biracial couple? Here's my biracial joke. There's only so many people in the world. So you're like, at a crowd, there's only...

You have kids? Yeah. You don't have kids? You're not going to get stumped. You're single? Wait, your name's Jason? Yeah. Here we go. Here we go. Say goodbye to the next hour. We're Jason. Ready to go? Yeah. Look, people that do it are great. Like Big J.

Big J does the crowd work. Big J is one of the funniest people I've ever been around in my life. Big J's very dirty. But he had a clip on his thing where a guy falls down. Did you see that? Yeah, I did. It's so funny.

The guy broke his chair and he just stayed sitting on the ground. Yeah. And he goes, your chair. He goes, oh, and he goes, he goes, I'm doing to you. What my biggest fear is, is someone calling out that a fat guy broke a chair. And then he goes, Hey man, you got to get a chair or you go just sit there on a broken chair. Like, like they were going to. And it's so funny. Uh,

But Jay's very dirty, that being said. But Jay's, like, people are great at crowd work, and they can be, and there's Todd Berry, another one, great at crowd work. There's people that can do it. Ian Bagg is, like, unreal at it. So there's levels to it. I'm not trying to trash crowd work. But I think if you're a younger comic and you're seeing that that gets to clips, I don't, I mean, you're going to feel the sudden rush of just like, wow, a lot of people know it's Jim, maybe some stuff happens, whatever.

But if you do not get an act, it's going to – I mean, there's eventually – people are going to get over crowd work. This is the Dat Fan Syndrome, right? Where he won the last comic standing. And then the first one, Comedy Central threw him on tour. And after the second show, he wasn't the headliner anymore because he didn't have over – Because he was too young. He didn't have 20 minutes. Yeah. He killed it on the show.

And that was kind of the first way of putting comedians that got famous off of something that quickly without material, like TikTok or whatever. It was last comic standing. Because he beat Ralphie May, who had been a headliner for like a decade. Yeah, who could headline everywhere. And then that fan was – but he was great on the show.

And so it like worked out that way. Yeah. I mean, you get around when people start spending money on tickets and stuff like that, they want to show dude, like they want, you know, they, you can, you can get people to come by to watch whatever, like, and then come see you. And, uh, you know, it's, it's more of an event. It's kind of a fun thing, but that won't last. And, uh, if I don't think it'll last, it works with your age, right?

So the people your age that are into this kind of thing are very fun. But then once they have kids, once they grow out of it, that's what I would tell comics. Do whatever you want to do at the age that you're at, but you need to grow with your audience. If you don't grow with your audience, there's a point you become old, and then your audience is not going to be the same. People your age have families and kids. So...

There's a world where a 20-year-old is not going to go watch a 40-year-old that is trying to act like a 20-year-old.

Because it just doesn't, you know, it feels weird. He's like, well, I'll just go watch a 20-year-old that's doing what I like. He's talking about what exactly I want to hear about. But you need to be able to grow with somewhat your audience. Your audience is always going to be a little bit younger than you. You know, like I know, I think a lot of people come to mind, but it's like they relate to, they're relating to whatever the stories are. It's talking about family. It's talking about very... Well, yeah, it's like I...

I used to feel insecure about doing a bit about kids, like when I first had kids. I'm like, what about all the people that... But I used to be like, I know some of you guys in here have kids and some of you guys were kids and probably know about kids. So this will affect you in a different way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Either from the kid's perspective. Yeah, but everybody in the audience, depending on the venue, you can get trapped to...

newer comics can be. When you leave the New York or L.A. scene, an audience is all of the country, which is my big thing. They don't make TV for the middle of the country. They make it for New York and L.A., and that's why so much stuff gets no views and no one talks about it because it's too specific to just everybody out there just making these shows that are just like – I mean, you don't even live –

You live in a different world. Yeah. Like everybody else is just at home going to school, and they're not thinking about all this stuff all day long. Yeah. Good luck, Kelly. No. And say hi to your brothers for us. Yeah. The Jonas. Well, we could probably get rolling. We've been talking for a while with these. Yeah, we're having fun. Yeah.

You know what I always say. Life moves fast. Starbucks Ready to Drink Coffee delivers an uplifting boost that can help you tune in to the moment. That's a tough noise. Sorry. Just want to show my Starbucks here. Rotate that around again. Let me hear what that sounds like. Oh, you're doing it so delicately now. There it is.

It's Starbucks coffee conveniently packaged for life on the go. The bottled Frappuccino coffee drink is inspired by Starbucks cafe favorites. It's chilled. It comes in four awesome flavors, mocha, vanilla, caramel, and coffee. How do you say caramel?

Uh, caramel wrong. My favorite is the caramel flavor. I usually start the day with coffee, especially when we're recording a new podcast episode, the Starbucks ready to drink coffee. It's an easy way to get the boost. I need to conquer the day and nail another ad read Starbucks coffee ready for right now. Shop the full lineup online or in store today.

that the information from fox got released oh yeah and like all the emails north korea stuff and all that so this is when when i was doing it this is what happened so when they sent me a copy to watch it like to go through it and edit it it was like i would have approval to watch it it would only be i would only have it for two days and then it would just disappear and go away so they were super strict about it so they're like you can't film it so when i would i was able to show my family and stuff

And I'd have to watch it. And I filmed some of it on my phone, like a couple little scenes of it. And I wish I would have just filmed the whole thing, but I was nervous about breaking the rules. And now looking back, I would have just done it. But at the time, you're like, well, I can't. They're not going to let me. I don't want to get in trouble. So I don't really have it. I have a couple clips, though. Maybe...

Let me just see what happens if I would show – let me ask. I want to make sure. Like, I could show some clips, but I also don't want to show clips, and then I just get – y'all are going to see. Yeah, welcome to – we'll have 40 ads in this podcast because I'm paying back 20th Century Fox $70 million because I showed just to make Noah happy.

And Nick, you did a pilot with Matthew Broderick, right? Yeah. Yeah, a long time ago. Where could we see that? Nowhere. Yeah, you can't. I mean, I've done so many pilots. Yeah. I'm like up at the George Clooney pilot level. Yeah. Can you say what Matthew, when you felt like it wasn't going to go good? I mean, there was definitely a moment where we did the first take of the live taping. Yeah.

And the whole scene is just me and Matthew. It's like we're meeting each other for the first time. And I'm like this big. And I'm like all over the place. And it's a live audience. And after the take, I was just alive. I felt like my body, my blood was pumping. And I was like, man, wasn't that amazing? And he just looked at me and he goes...

I'm just tired. And I looked over and I was like, somebody get Mr. Broderick an espresso. Because that was also a bit that him and I had been doing all week about getting each other espressos. And I thought he was kind of doing the bit. And he's like, I don't know, man. It's just like, is this thing good? Oh, wow. And I was like, well, I don't know if this show is going to go. And it would have went.

I don't know if it was on him. There was a few things about it. That show was crazy because Patton Oswalt was the one cast in my role. And then he left or whatever. Yeah. And then they cast me. And I'd never met Patton before that. And then he sent me a Facebook message saying, like, congrats. I thought it was the coolest thing you've ever done. Yeah.

Yeah, that's how brutal that world is. I've been on the other end of that. I've been fired and then... Yeah. Yeah, what do they do? They just come up and like... I got a phone call less than 12 hours before taping a CBS pilot that said, hey, man, my manager goes, hey, buddy. And I'm like, he never says that. You can always tell when your manager's got bad news. Bad news and good news.

You can always tell. It is like a marriage. You can just go, well, you don't talk like that. Yeah. And then you know something's about to happen. Hey, buddy. Yeah.

It's like I know if it's like, hey, so-and-so is also on the line. I'm like, oh, this is good news. Yeah. This is just your manager saying, hey, buddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And your doctor's on the line. We patch Nick's doctor in. So we found a lump in your career. Yeah. And it's growing. And it's bad. Yeah. And it's bad. And it's this pilot and you're fired. Yeah. Yeah. And I remember I just –

I went on a walk after I got that call. So what did he say? He said, hey... Just to give people that don't know about the pilot, you auditioned as an actor. You go audition for the pilot. I didn't audition for this one. Oh, you didn't. This one was starring me and TJ Miller. Okay. And we both got offered the show as a duo together. And...

Yeah, they called and fired me. And then they ended up postponing the shoot. And then they hired a blonde Australian dude to play my role. And then it just didn't go like most shows don't go. Yeah. But it was a really funny book, this author. Anyway, yeah, it was. But I remember on the phone with my manager, he's like, yeah, buddy, they're going to recast you. And that's not the word fired. I'm like, oh, does that mean I'm fired? And he said, yeah, but they're going to still pay you.

Okay. Well, I'll call you later. It's one of those like you sit with it and you're just a failure. It just was the worst. Yeah. Yeah, because you're – I mean you're –

That's the hard part, is you're either about to be famous, and you're so close. Not that you're doing this for famous, but that's the easy way to explain it. You're looking at it like, oh, I'm about to be famous. Or you started calculating your episode rate compared to if it was picked up for a 22-episode season. Oh, yeah. Well, that's the hard part. When you do a pilot, they negotiate all that. Your first three seasons usually...

Yeah. Before you even shoot the pilot or anything. Before you even sell the show. So you have no leverage at all. There's so much. None. They're like, and so just so you know, in the third season, they might use your face as the main face, depending on how your character goes. And you're like, what? Yeah. They're like, third seasons, you're probably going to own helicopters. And you're like...

This is crazy, dude. That's my first pilot I did was with Kelsey Grammer, and he showed up in a helicopter every day. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. That Frazier money. Yeah. Yeah, because you had the option of like, I'll be wondering, yeah, how many shows, if people knew, that's what, people always say that they should do a network where it's just like pilots that didn't go. Yeah. And just because they're just sitting, these networks are just sitting on pilots. Yeah.

Pilot after pilot of famous, famous, famous people that did not go. Like, why would you not just start a network and they all agree we're just going to pump the pilots on there? I've been on a pilot before that the week before they announced which pilots got picked up, Variety posted an article like the for sure's, and ours was the picture they used. Of the for sure's? Of the for sure's article. And we were the only one that didn't go. Oh, man.

It's – dude, it just – I know what you mean. Like, it feels – It's just a failure. I remember I emailed – Or I texted or something Zach Galifianakis, like, because I was really down, and he was always so nice to me. And I know he'd, like, gone through some failure stuff too. And he was just like, yeah, man, I've already been fired from, like, 30 things. You'll be fine. Yeah, yeah. I was like, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, it's just –

Another one, if you're in this business or if you're trying to get in whatever, it's like you just got to keep going ahead. That's all. Everyone's going to try to make you quit. No one wants you to make it. I do know somebody once who was this girl, and she's really great, but she wanted to be an actress. She put up her SNL thing online on YouTube, and it just was not good. It wasn't good.

But she was friends with like some actors, you know, and one of her friends that was like a big actor got Morgan Freeman to call and leave a voicemail on her phone because she was considering quitting. And Morgan Freeman called and like left a voicemail that she had that was like, never give up. And I'm like, yeah, you should have like at least let him see that SNL video. Because now he's making somebody work hard.

When they shouldn't be. Yeah. It should be like, hey, you should give up on this. You know, like, you're great at other things. You're great at being a friend. Yeah. Yeah. Well, self-awareness. Self-awareness is the most important thing you can have in anything. And people don't have it. And then that, like, they don't, that person doesn't have it. No. And then they're going to have a life of misery.

But if you don't quit and you're nice, you'll be fine, I believe. Yeah, I agree with that too. If you're a very nice person, people want to be around that. Because a lot of times you can be around comics where you're like, they cannot be funny, but you're like, but that guy. It's a running joke that you go like, how's his act? You're like, he's the best dude. Yeah, you just go, that dude is the best. But you could be like, yeah, I'm not, you know, but...

But he's the best dude. And there's roles for the best dude. And that's like being a producer when their best friend gets a show. They're the support. They're the one that is there being the best dude. Yeah. Hyun. No go. No go. Hyun, no go.

Is that right? I don't know. H-I-E-N-N-G-O. Ngo. It's Vietnamese. It's pronounced... I think the N's silent. N-G-O. N-G-O. N-G-O. N-G-O. I was totally wrong. I like that. That's a good last name. Especially saying it like that. He-an-N-G-O. He-an-N-G-O. He-an-N-G-O. That's a good name. He-an-N-G-O. No. No.

Oh. I was supposed to say no. Do you guys watch The Mandalorian? No. No. Some. No. Because that would make you laugh. Oh, really? Yeah. I'm a big fan of Nate. My question that I would ask Nate if I ever got to talk to him is how he's able to hang with all of the comedians out there.

They are astronomically dirtier than Nate. They all drink and God knows what. Get crazy and really go at each other. I just wanted Bobby Kelly's podcast. I just wanted Bobby Kelly's podcast and Nate arrived with Louis, Joe, Bobby, and Dan. How do you relate to 99% of the comedians out there because all of them seem to really love you? Well, that's very nice. Look, I started with those guys. You just be yourself.

Everyone that you mentioned, Louis, Joe, Bobby, Soder, Jay, all of them, they're exactly who they come off to be. So everybody gets along when no one's being fake.

And that's what it all boils down to. When someone's fake, then that's the person that doesn't fit in. But they accept me. Look, I thought a lot about that at the beginning. When I first started, I didn't want anybody to know I was clean. I was always clean. I never mentioned it, never said anything about it. And I mean, that's what I kind of want now. Even like when people listen to this podcast, we talk about being clean more now than ever. But-

You know, it's like the people listening to this podcast, it's like if someone's listening to it, you should be able to listen to this. This is what I want to do with clean comedy is to go – you don't even have to say it's clean. It's like it's just comedy, dude. Like it's done this way just like theirs is done that way. And I know it's just easier to kind of like go this one's clean, that one's dirty. I understand that. But the idea of it is like you should be able to like –

Listen to it. Even if someone was dirty, you shouldn't even think. If you think, oh, they're dirty, that's not always the best thing. You should never be, you should be like, they're funny. So I started with all of those guys. They took me in.

You know, I mean, Bobby took us a lot on the road. Soder, Lewis was probably right around. Lewis was with me at the very, very, very beginning. Bobby was older. List came in right after, and Soder came in right after, but barely right after I just was moving in. And we all just became super close, super friends, and I was just clean. No one ever cared, you know. I took Lewis on the road once at college.

And I was like, you got to be clean. Like, I'm getting this kid because I'm clean. I'm nobody. And so I was like, but they're supposed to be clean. Lewis was like, I can be clean. And he goes out and just – because they told me to be clean, but do you all care about that? And of course everybody goes, no. And then he's just dirty. And then we get a – they write a letter to the school apologizing for Lewis. It would have been –

Much worse now than it was. Giannis once got it. We did a college, and they had a sit-in. Giannis, we might have talked about when Giannis was on the podcast. He said something, and they had a protest. But this was back— Because of what he said? Yeah. What was it? I think someone gave someone a name. Someone was—

Maybe Hispanic, and he made up a Hispanic name or something. But everybody laughed except that person. Right. Whatever. And then the next day they had to sit in. But this was back when it is like there's no social media. It wasn't like it was now. So your sit-in just really just happens at the school. It was in that paper. It could have been the other way around, though, where the person that he did it to laughed.

And then everyone else, like, didn't think it was funny because that, oh, that was a fun, you know, like, it's like, like, I have a joke about a one-armed lady. And people have been like, afterwards, like, hey, you probably shouldn't tell that people. I'm like, you know, the only, you know, the people that have told me they love that joke are like the five one-armed people that have been at my shows. Yeah. Like, that's the best joke I've ever heard. Yeah. Because it doesn't offend them because that's just, they're just funny.

You have a lot more one-armed people than most. That's a lot of one-armed. You'd be surprised. You don't know how many people have one arm in your audience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Words getting out, too. They're coming to hear this. You got to start doing these jokes so you find out. Yeah, that's your most relatable joke. That's how many one-armed people in your crowd. This lady, she was upset because she left, and that's when Yana said that. John Lund. John Lund.

The first ever fact machine, a.k.a. the printing telegraph, was invented in 1843. Abraham Lincoln was assassinated in 1865. The samurai were officially abolished in Japanese society in 1867. This means there was a 22-year window where Abraham Lincoln and the samurai could have been faxing each other. That's crazy.

How did they invent a fax machine then? Yeah, I'd like to see what kind of fax machine. I'm guessing it worked a little differently than the ones we think of. Like, what did it do? A facsimile machine? Yeah, like someone pulled the paper through, then they had to run and get on a boat and then land and hand them the paper. There's no way that printing telegraph. No, it's the same way that they. Printing telegraph. Here it is. It looks almost like a piano. Yeah.

But it couldn't have been that. It's like radio waves or whatever that you are just probably doing like the same. Yeah. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. And then it transcribes it for you. Yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to decide. Do we want to go over those poll results or do the top? Yeah, let's just do the poll results. Okay. Save this again? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right. So we've been doing...

An animal bracket. Yeah, we've got this bracket here. Someone just sent us this bracket. We did not go through and make it any better or worse. They didn't think we'd dedicate three months of the podcast to this. Yeah, we're just getting started. They truly assumed we would just move on with our lives. But we have... I've enjoyed it. We've had a lot of comments about it. Do we have any... We've got more comments...

I mean, at the time of this taping, we're just on YouTube, 420 comments. And I think it's the third most ever. Yeah. Comment-wise. Number one was when...

Mark Norman was on. Yeah. Number two was the Calgate. Most of those were directed at you. Yeah. And then this one. Yeah. But there's about four things that everyone's saying, which if we go over these poll results, we could just cover them. Yeah, I should cover something up top. I'm taking a lot of heat for how I said the word wolf. Well, that's one of them. If you want to show them. Last week.

Yeah. I said wolf. Wolf. The whole episode. People lost their mind. Yeah. I didn't even notice it. Yeah. Yeah. And they're like, why didn't they correct him? I didn't know I said the word incorrectly, but now I'll be thinking about it the rest of my life. Wolf. Wolf. There's an L in there. Who did the wolf fight? The wolf took on the cheetah. This was the closest one. This was the closest one. Do you have the poll results? I do. I have the wolf. The cheetah and the wolf.

The Cheeto won on Instagram. The Cheeto won 55-45, according to the fans. These people are crazy. I disagree with that. But on Twitter...

The Wolf beat the Cheetah 54-46. That's who. Okay, you think the Twitter people are smarter? Yeah, which one had more votes? Instagram, I don't have the number there, but there's a lot more people on Instagram. It's like if you were to watch a pit bull against a cat. It's like, yeah, take the dirtiest dog and put it against... I took Cheetah last week, but based on...

People's feedback. I've switched to wolf. Yeah. Oh, man. What a man of principle over here. Well, I listen to the data and I'm open-minded enough to... I heard what people say and I want the most people to like me, so I switched over to wolf. Well... The cheetah, dude. I pulled up that picture of the cheetah's mouth and nobody was swayed by that at all. I mean, it's terrifying looking. But like you said, a dog versus a cat. No one would think a cat can beat a dog. Well, yeah. We're talking about a very specific type of dog and a very specific type of cat.

I mean, that's a... Yeah, the scariest dog? Yeah. A wolf is not even top 10 scariest dog. And cheetahs aren't even... A wolf is... Hyenas, coyotes. Wolves kill hyenas. Yeah. Oh, dude. Coyotes are more... Oh, that's the other thing. What are you talking about? Coyotes are like a pet. Coyotes are like small wolves. Yeah.

Coyotes are picking their kids up at school. I mean, they're, you know. Coyotes say they're wolves. Just not a lot of respect. No, I'm actually a wolf. First of all, the cheetah. So, I mean, we don't have to relitigate this whole matchup. I know it's been, but a cheetah could just outrun the wolf. But outrunning something doesn't have anything to do with. Yeah.

Yeah, fighting it. It's about winning. They don't have endurance, though, I think. They actually can run really fast. They actually have a lot. They do not have great endurance. But you're not going to need a whole lot because the wolf is— So they'll just run really fast. So they're fighting in the— As they're running? In the Roman Colosseum. The Roman Colosseum. That's how we're visualizing this. And then, so yeah, the cheese is going to run around for a while, eventually get tired. I just imagine the wolf in the middle just kind of just like waiting. Yeah. Are you done? You're going to keep running? And then just goes over and just rips it apart. It's like nice spots.

Now, everyone is really obsessed about the way he's pronounced. Well, some people, hyena, the way you say hyena. Hyena. Well, that sounded all right. Hyena. I think you were leaving out a syllable last week. Oh, probably. Hyena, or maybe I'm saying hyena. Hyena?

Hyena, maybe? It sounds like it just looked like an accent. Hyena. But that was a very close one. I mean... Yeah. And what was that matchup? I think everybody should understand if I mess up something, I don't even think it should be commented on at this point. No. Yeah. I think a lot of people did let it slide. Yeah. Yeah. I think everybody... I don't think anybody's even... They expect more out of you, Aaron. There was one new guy I'd never heard seen before. Yeah. He goes, hey, you're saying hyena wrong. You're like, yeah, dude, are you not? He doesn't know how to read. Yeah. But Aaron would expect more. Aaron went to college. Did you go to college, Nick? No. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Any? A semester of community college. Yeah. That's what I did. That's why y'all are friends. Yeah. But I didn't get accepted or anything. I just, my, I, did you remember taking the placement test where they were like, hey, we just want to know what you know so we don't like put you, you know. Yeah. And I just kind of skipped through that, not really thinking. And I showed up to my first day of class to English 072, which I realized like five minutes in was English as a second language class. Yeah.

So, you know, based off my placement test, they thought I was fluent in a foreign language. It's pretty cool. The teacher's like, I don't think you're supposed to be in here. I'm like, I think that's my call. I'm going to hang out. I feel like a leader in here. And they just nail it. Yeah, finally. Yes. If Nate was in that class, how many days before they caught on? Maybe this guy. They may never catch on. They may never. Yeah.

Yeah, I wouldn't know when to say. You get a B minus. What's the. I got a non-complete in all my classes and NC was my grade. Oh, dude. NC. What is it called when you use like don't and. Contraction? Contraction. God. Yeah.

Thank God they don't have those in Spanish. Yeah. Yeah. Spanish doesn't use contractions. Does Spanish have contractions? They don't probably use contractions. I've been blanking on that name. Contractions. Dude, I was going to say it a bunch of times in a joke, and for some reason, I knew it was C-O-N something, but I couldn't remember what it was. Never looked it up. Never asked. Thought I'd do it publicly. Okay.

And then I've just been sitting there, because I usually get contractions out. Like when Laura writes something that I have to read, a lot of times contractions, I'm not good with contractions. I need to say the whole word. I mean, I don't think I've even heard or said contractions in a long time. I know. You don't say it as much. But you do it a lot. But you do. Everyone does it a lot. Everybody does it a lot. Yeah. Everybody does. But I won't.

It's like allergies, you know? Pretty good timing. What's that? So I said, it's like allergies. You get them, but you don't understand them. You don't know what you have. But you know you got it. But you got it. Something feels wrong. Something's not right. Something's not right. I wish I could put a finger on it. I get it. What's...

There's another one, Polar Bear Tiger. Wow. This was pretty consistent on both social medias. I think they all took the side of the Polar Bear except for Nate. Nate wanted to fight for the tiger. I was leaning tiger first, and then I got swayed. Yeah, I just don't think this one's close, man. People just point out Polar Bears are meaner than grizzlies. They would beat a grizzly in a fight, they said. A grizzly, I don't think they would.

I think a grizzly bear would beat a polar bear. I think it's the opposite. Look up just grizzly bear beat polar bear. I think that polar bears are more apt to attack humans. I think they have fought and grizzly bears have won. Grizzly bears are very aggressive. This one says when it comes, this is okay. Wildlife Boss says when it comes to a fight, grizzly bears are more likely to come out on the winning side due to their larger size and more powerful jaws that can exert over a thousand PSI of bite force.

Okay, grizzlies have an omnivorous diet, whereas polar bears are exclusively carnivores. Omnivorous means they mix both? Yeah, why is that? I don't know. Why does that matter? That doesn't seem like it. Because, well, I think that's why polar bears are more dangerous to humans. Yeah. Because they'll eat you. But if they had a fight together. Well, look at this. This is actually a study conducted in 2015 found that grizzly bears were dominant when competing with larger polar bears for a beached whale carcass.

So they've actually seen this. Thank you. All right. But that's not what we're talking right now about a polar bear versus a tiger. But that adds into our element of this thing. Because this is what everybody's saying. So everybody's just knocking off the tiger like a polar bear is drinking Coca-Cola.

Yeah. You know, a grizzly bear is just like much more aggressive. Type in for polar bear in a tiger fight just to see. Just to see the scientific. Yeah, because we're. There was an occasional one that would say a tiger with those big claws, one swipe, it'd be over. Yeah. The polar bear has an advantage. I think we did look this up when we were talking about it. The polar bear is any metric, power, jaw strength, skin thickness, the polar bear tops the Siberian tiger.

The Siberian tiger is faster, but we already argued, we've already concluded speed means nothing in this. It does. We've already concluded that. We're in the Roman Coliseum. Who cares about speed? Who cares about maneuverability? You could... Speed matters if you were, you know, like there's two different kinds of speed. There's like, if you're a swordsmith, like, or swords, whatever they call you. Quickness. Yeah. If you're quick like that or running, you know, like... Yeah. Yeah.

What type in polar bear? What type in polar bear? Wait, no. Cheetah versus wolf. See, we didn't look that up. No. We're going to look up some. They're about the same size. The cheetah has the advantage in claws that are much more effective weapons than wolf's claws. Additionally, cheetah can generate force with each bite compared to whatever that means. This thing doesn't know what it's talking about. And they're. They're about the same size.

They both get up to about five feet long. They both weigh 160 pounds. The wolf has short claws, but strong jaws with sharp teeth.

But that's what – the cheetah is the fastest laying animal in the world, but they are speed hunters, not fighters. A wolf's a fighter, dude. But also wolves are in packs, you know? So maybe one wolf against a cheetah, a wolf might be like, hey, where's the other guys? Yeah, we talked about that. The lone wolf. Yeah, it's literally a lone wolf. Now, is the wolf – is it a gray wolf, the one that we're looking at? I think so. We're saying that. Yeah, I think we're just saying a common. All right.

You know, dime a dozen, not impressive at all. Yeah. Wolf. We're not doing black, white wolf. We're doing a gray wolf. Mixed race wolf. We're the most inclusive. Yeah. Yeah. All right. You want to go to another one? Yeah. We talked about a platypus versus an anteater. Wow. Okay. This one really got people fired up.

Maybe even more common than his wolf. Yeah. Platypus, as so many people point out, they have venomous hind legs. Wow. So we did not mention that last, we didn't know that, but we picked the anteater. Yeah. But they're saying platypus has venomous hind legs. They would use that to defeat an ant. I don't even think the platypus gets an opportunity to do that. How thick is that anteater's skin though? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, it's got to be, I think Danny is going to realize something's going on when the platypus is taking a long time to turn backwards. I don't imagine they're quick. I mean, he's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he's coming backwards and he's like, you better not be there. He backs up like a mailman. Yeah. Yeah, he backs up like a mailman. Danny is like, what are you doing, dude? And he just keeps walking in front of him. And that's all the platypus has got because he needs to be. He's like, no, no, get behind me. Let's start like this. Yeah.

Yeah, I am curious how they use that in a fight, the venomous hind legs, but I guess they know how. I think it might have just been the male platypus. Oh, okay. So does it matter what sex these animals are? We'll have it be the venomous hind legs. Okay, we'll let them have that. But, yeah.

I mean. This platypus just looks so weak. What about their hot? Why is it their hot legs? It can't give it. Because I'd imagine, because it's in water. So they would swim. So if the anteater gets in the water, then it's going to be in trouble. Look at that guy's hand. Yeah. Caught a little platypus. He got spurred. It's not that big of a.

You know, look, they've shown a guy, it's like he missed half a day and he's back to work. I mean, it's not... It's not like poison, it's not like a... Like a snake. People think scorpions are going to kill you, but scorpions are just then, like it's like getting stung by a bee. Yeah, yeah. That's how this is. So the anteater is just so much more powerful.

But I don't know. I mean, I thought we had a close argument last week, and we finally went anteater, so that should be enough to sway it the other way. Here's a good diagram of where that venom comes from there. Little dispenser right there above the claws. I'm still going anteater. A lot has to happen for that. The pod poster, you've got to imagine, beep, beep, beep. It starts backing up. Look, I think it's going to be a good fight.

I think it's going to be worth the price of admission. It'll be a better fight. I think people think it's not going to be a good fight, and the people will be like, wow, that was actually one of my favorite fights. But the anteater comes out and wins. Okay. The next one we got up here, we got an eagle versus a barn owl matchup.

I mean, we went eagle, no problem. I think Dusty tried to fight for a little bit for the barn owl. Not even close. He did. There was a big occasional comment saying, you don't know how mean barn owls are. And somebody sent us a video of a barn owl swooping in and stealing an eagle's baby from the nest. It was pretty crazy. But, I mean, it's a pretty dominant breed.

Overall, people like Eagles would... 89-11 on Twitter. I mean, that's pretty much a consensus. Is that a whole thing about bald men getting murdered by owls? Have you heard of this? I have a joke about it. You do? Eagles. Oh, I heard... Oh, not owls. But I have a joke about eagles. They swoop down and hit...

bald men in the head. Oh, that's where I... Yeah. You're still doing better than that. I think I now remember where I heard that. Yeah. I'll tell you all about it. Yeah. Well, it's also the owl theory is what that's documenting the staircase. Yes, that's it. Yeah. That's where they... Because when you hear that, you're like... I remember when I first heard it, Joe Zimmerman...

On his new special when it comes out, Greg Warren's special is out right now. Go check that out. Joe Zimmerman's special is coming out soon. He has a joke about that, the staircase with the owl. Because they kind of briefly talk about it, and then you're like, there's a lot of things that sound like, if you watch the documentary The Staircase, there's things in it where you're like, dude, this owl could have really been what happened. It seems like that's what happened. But I mean...

There's other cases that you go, well, no, it's not. They found owl feathers in her hair. Microscopic owl feathers. Yeah, but I mean, that could come from just... They have a lot of owls in the backyard that could be... Is this a murder or something? Yeah. Yeah, there's a writer. Yeah. No, that was like a theory. It's like a fringe theory that started on Reddit. Oh, okay. But they...

Mentioned in the... When you watch the documentary, but then they just very briefly mention it, then they move on from it. And they don't really talk about it. So you have to go to Reddit to look it up and be like, well, why are they not talking about this as an option? But the thing that hurts the most is the guy also had another lady die downstairs. Yeah, yeah. And that... His other ex-wife. Yeah, his other ex-wife fell downstairs and died. So...

All that being said, you're like, it could be the owl. R, insane. Like if an owl and him are in court, and even if the owl did it, it's pictured both of them in court. Owl's in court. This guy's in court.

And the judge, and they're getting- The owl's got that one. He's got the one. Yeah, because they tell him to dress up. Because he's going- Yeah, he's got the monocle because he's going to court. So he's in court. And the owl is like, I totally got this lady. And then the guy's like, I mean, there's owl stuff in it. And the owl just goes, show me where I've done this before.

That's all he has to keep saying. He goes, hey, real fast, where's your ex-wife coming to this? She's not because she also was pushed downstairs. I mean, you have no chance. And then he's like, the stairs are also on trial. Yeah. The stairs didn't show up. You know what's crazy about that documentary is that the filmmaker and the guy who it's about fell in love while making it.

But the filmmaker and the guy... The person filming the documentary is supposed to be an objective documentary. And the guy being accused of murder fall in love throughout it. So when I found that out, I was like, wow, that kind of makes the whole thing seem... Sounds like maybe he was just trying to tip the scale a little bit. Like, maybe this will get her to like me. Yeah, did...

She'll really push this out there. But he went to jail. Is he in jail? He's in prison, yeah. Yeah. Are they together still? I don't know. But they had a relationship.

And they show that in the show? No, it came out afterwards. Yeah. It's presented as this kind of... Now, if she gets murdered by an owl while he's in jail... Yeah. That's insane. Let's get that guy out. Let's get him out. Let's get him out. That would be wild. What if one of Joe Biden's pardons is the owl guy? Is the owl guy. Yeah.

And he just goes, well, he had, I mean... We saw the documentary. We saw the documentary. We watched it, I believe. It's not Joe Exotic. He's still in jail. Running for president. Running for president in jail. Did anybody, was there another post? Yeah, there's at least one more, isn't there? Yeah. Oh, yeah. So this is...

So, Nick, we had a lion versus – people said we said emu wrong, too. They did. But I don't know how you're supposed to say it. Somebody in Australia said – Emu? We're not going to trust them. Emu. They say everything wrong down there. We say emu. Emu. And they say emu. Emu.

Oh, that sounds wrong, dude. It just sounds like saying cell phone or cell phone. Yeah. Now, well, first of all, those are results. They still picked the line even with Emu with a gun. But you've got something going for you.

many, many people pointed out that in Australia in the 1930s, there was a war against the emus and the emus won. Wow. They were taking over, I think, a lot of farmland. It was becoming a real problem. They called it the Great Emu War. And the Australian government, military, went up against them and lost. Yeah. Wow. What strategy did the emus use? So they know how to use a gun. Yeah.

Maybe. Yeah. I meant to look that up. Did you? So we had it. And the emu has a pouch in his neck. So then I claimed that the emu has a gun, and he fought the lion, and he won with the gun. While a number of the birds were killed, the emu population persisted and continued to cause crop destruction. So they were just tearing up farms all over Australia. Yeah.

That's a military operation. Yeah. They couldn't even do it. This is big time. Now, the war lasted one month, one week, and one day. Yeah. And then the Australian government surrendered. And they go, you know what? Our country animal is the emu. That's what happened. They probably just had to give in. Yeah, yeah. And the emus go, I want to be on your flag. And they go, all right. Will you not eat all our crops? They go, we're back off the crops. A little. A little.

But we're back off the crops. But you have to treat us a little more respect. We lucked out having an eagle. Yeah. We could have had an emu. You could have had an emu.

So they were already having problems, and then 20,000 new emus showed up because they migrate after their breeding season. So they just started coming in in droves, just tearing up farms. See, that's the thing. Emus are... I think maybe that's why I say emu. That's probably why I'm saying wrong. Emu. I say mu. Emu. So this is the guy that invented emus. And there's a...

What a great idea he had. Yeah, such a good idea. But so with this background, what is it? Go ahead. Okay, so the first attempt, right, they had a group of soldiers and they found 50. And the birds scattered, so they were difficult to target. They ended up killing perhaps a dozen out of 50, and they're armed with guns. These emus are evasive.

That's what I mean. And now it has a gun. Yeah. So we had the emu has a pouch, and no one frisked the emu's neck, and it has a gun in the pouch, and that's why he beats the lion. So it's hard for him to get the lions. It's hard for him to get them, and he has a gun. Yeah. So that's why the emu still wins with the gun. I'm looking for numbers of how many they killed. Okay, so right here.

The bounty system instigated in 1923, 57,000 bounties were claimed over a six-month period. So listen, human beings took out 57,000 emails and they still were just like, we have to give up.

Yeah, but who won the war? The emus. Yeah. You might have won the fight. They won the war. They spared 57,000 in a row, and they were like- They don't care. It's barely a dent. Yeah. Apparently, they're making a comedy movie about it with Rob Schneider that's supposed to be produced this year. And all those emus are in heaven with 72 births. Yeah. So heaven might be- Crazy. Crazy around emus. Like, hang on. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Look, I think that Emu still wins. He has a gun. Yeah, I mean, we're not changing it. And then I don't think I did the poll, but the orca whale, excuse me, killer whale versus great white shark, everyone said. There's a lot of video out there of killer whales killing great white sharks just for fun. That's what we said, right? Yeah. I think we all said that. So we got that one. A killer whale is a problem. I've interacted with one. Oh, wow.

Oh, wow. Was it one of your pilots? No. One of your pilots that didn't go? On YouTube, if you look up Nick Thune interacts with a killer whale. Wow. I was in Canada and there was like four babies and I was crabbing. And this thing was like that close, you know, it seems like no big deal, but I can't believe I'm looking at a killer whale kind of feeling. Dude. And then it just keeps coming closer.

This is you filming? Yeah. Yeah. And... That's getting very close. Wait, wait.

Right now, it's like, oh, wait, where is it going to be now? I'm in a 16-foot boat, by the way. And it just goes ahead and goes right under my boat. Wow. You could have reached out and grabbed it. And then now is just the silence of like, oh, my God, when? I mean, it could flip your boat no problem. Yeah. And then all of a sudden... Are you freaking out at this point? Yeah. I was short of breath. I didn't know what was happening. Are you by yourself? No. My...

My ex-father-in-law was in there. That's actually what caused the divorce. The orca? The way he handled it versus the way you handled it. Then it just went away and you didn't see it anymore? No, then we actually ended up seeing it for like the rest of the day. Oh, really? Yeah. Like it was just around? But apparently, so, but the reason that it did that is because we were too close to the babies. So it was like letting us know like, hey man, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

But we were there when we saw them. It wasn't like I was encroaching. Yeah. Yeah. I'm surprised that he didn't get that. I know. It's like, hey. And then, yeah, the killer whale should have been like, yeah, obviously, dude, we know the babies are here. I had just pulled the crab thing in, too, and it was right over that edge. And I was thinking, what if I was halfway with the crab and the killer whale just caught a hold of that? Yeah. Yeah. You'd be gone. Wow. Yeah.

That is crazy, dude. Is it just like so, seeing it that close, you're just like, they're so big. Beautiful. Oh, God, it was so gorgeous. And then you feel how small you are and how quickly everything could have just ended. He could have just flipped you over with his tail and just went about his day. That tail got so close. Yeah, wouldn't even go to jail for it. No, no one would try to find him. No. Yeah, and they're probably tough, you know.

By the way, great camera work too, I would say. It was pretty good. It was solid, good camera work. I'm definitely scared. Yeah. You know? Yeah. But you got to get those hits on social media. Keep rolling. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I look forward to getting back into the –

It asked me to tag it afterwards. It said, hey, can you tag me? Yeah, well, you know how they are. We had one comment saying, please don't do animal fights. It's not funny. But I'm not saying that they're necessarily... They signed a waiver. We're not saying necessarily that they even die, but they just fight until one of them taps out. Or did somebody say it was inhumane to... I think that's what they were implying. Well, I gave an emu a gun. Yeah. So...

It seems fair. I don't think anybody's taking it very serious when I have an emu that I can't pronounce. Yeah.

With a gun. People aren't supposed to be concerned about animals killing animals. Yeah. That's just what they do. That's what they do. Yeah. But I guess in this situation, we are... Forcing them to... Grabbing them and dropping them in the Roman consulate. No, they're all... I mean, what do we think? This is like a Russell Crowe situation where he was put into slavery and then... Yeah. No, I think these animals are signing up and... I think they're signing up. There is prize money. We got a hold of their agent and they said... The pride of their species is on the line. Yeah. Yeah. We saw...

Your Lions tape looked good. Yeah. We'd love to see him in the ring. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. Everybody's there for their own –

It's like acting like Mike Tyson got forced into the ring or something. Yeah, it's like that. He was born to do that. These are the UFC fighter animals of their group. This is what they want. Yeah, that's a good way to think about it. And every country is being represented. That's right. It's like the Olympics. Yeah, it's true. Now, that would be interesting, though, if it was like, okay, a lion that knew he was in there against a reluctant lion.

tiger who's like i was i didn't sign up for this you know that's a different type of fight well you feel bad for the lion because the lion is pretty shocked that the emu was allowed to bring a gun in and so but that was that was a big uh i didn't know we could have guns yeah and i said and i think going forward there's a lot more frisking yeah and a

He's not going to be able to do it again. Next round. Next round, they go. I mean, they're going to. Do we know who the gun was registered under? No. That's a good question. That is a good question. I think the serial number was filed off. Yeah. Yeah. I think he. Maybe got it from like some sort of a fake buyback program that it ran outside of 7-Eleven or something. Yeah. Well, that Cheetah and Wolf, did we give it to the Cheetah? I think we did. Oh, you just switched it. I think we ended up giving it to the Wolf. Now, you've been hyping up this Wolf the whole time, but just know that it's got the emu in the next round. By the way, what is that wolf doing with its.

It's just stretching a little bit. It looks like its feet are up on a table. It's trying to look cute. It's a pet. It's just like a regular animal. The cheetah is a warthog.

Wait, are we switching it? No, everyone agreed on the wolf except me. I think last week we never definitively answered. I thought we said, let's sit on it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But wait, so now it could be wolf against emu? Does it have the gun still? No, now it fristed for the gun. Oh, okay, that did happen. The judges were not happy with that. Okay. But I mean, he gets to keep going. Yeah. But I mean... Well, because the lion's dead.

The line's dead. It's a shocker. I mean, it is blown. He killed it? He killed it with the gun. I mean, people are blown away. Especially the line was blown away. I mean, they're like, do we even have to pay? Because of the people that bet on the E-Movie. I mean, he had a gun. One guy bet gun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So...

Yeah, it's going to be tough. So we got some good matchups coming next round. We got some good matches coming. We're still working through the first round of this bracket, though. I can tell you, I'm going to try to make the opposite of what everybody says. And you did a good job. I mean, you convinced us to vote for the—

The emu. Well, it had a gun. Well, that's convincing. It had a gun. It's a form of convincing. We could also rattle through this and do the real answers and be done in one second. Or we could have a good time and give an emu a gun. Are we not going to do one right now? We can do one right now. Let's do what you – let's see. Go down. Let me see what's – That's a fun one. Elephant and a rhino.

Now, we've also pointed out, Nick, it's not like a college basketball 16 versus 1. Whoever put these together seems to put two pretty similar animals in the first round against each other. So some heavy hitters going out in the first round. Yeah. There are some bizarre matchups in this. Yeah. That's a baboon versus a turkey. Let's do that one. We'll do that one for you, Nick. I've actually...

Been around a baboon before. Oh, wow. Let me look up Nick Thune interacts with baboons. They are scary. Yeah. Because they look, they're walking around. Yeah. Basically. Yeah. Like they look, the way that this one approached me, it looked like the way that a basketball player would approach like a dunk on a dunk contest. Yeah. You know, like they know what the hoops is and where they're going to jump. Yeah. They are, yeah. Yeah, they're very human-like. Monkeys make me uncomfortable just how human they look.

Yeah. I don't like looking at them. You go to the zoo, you're just a little... Well, it's odd, isn't it? I mean, it's odd that they're... They got those butts, too. Yeah. Yeah, they got a lot going on. Oh, geez. Yeah. One just yawned in the video. This is just some baboons running around. Baboons, yeah. I forgot the name. Contraction. And the baboons...

Yeah, I think baboons are mean, dude. I think baboons are mean, but I think turkeys can be mean. Look at the way they're scaling that wall. Yeah. And there's no walls like that in Coliseum. You may give me some turkey stuff. Well, go ahead. Okay. If I go in here, will y'all hear it on the air? Yeah, probably. So I should go somewhere else? Yeah. All right, y'all keep going. All right. All right, see ya. Finally get the podcast good. Yeah.

turkeys are dangerous turkeys are dangerous so I would say here's something that I wasn't even thinking about the fact that turkeys can fly that's going to change the way this fight plays out because the baboon is going to be climbing up on stuff

Well, domesticated turkeys, they don't. Well, we're talking about a wild. We're talking about a wild. I mean, the meanest, wild, heavier. Imagine these animals have competed in their own prelims. We got the best of the best going on. Yeah. I like to think it was adopted by a domesticated family, but it's wild. Yeah. That could be true. I mean, they can- So it's learned, you know, I don't know,

Got an education. Right, right, right. It can hold its own. They fly up to 55 miles per hour, these turkeys can fly. Wow. Yeah. Golly, that's crazy. They sleep in trees. They can change colors. Yeah. You know how pitching, how this year somebody threw 108 miles an hour? Yeah. Are turkeys just always going to be at 55, or are there some that are doing new things?

Maybe getting up to 60, 65. That's very fast. Their eyesight covers 270 degrees. I mean, that's like... They have great vision. Great vision. Have three times better vision than humans. Yeah, so that means that their eyes are protruding. Yeah. So that could be actually bad, though. The baboon could just knock one of those eyes out. Mm-hmm. That's a tough stat there at the end. 46 million turkeys are killed every year for Thanksgiving. So it's just like... Yeah. Yeah.

I'll be honest with you. I'm not a fan of turkey. It's my, it's for me, I've always thought this, it is not the star of the show at Thanksgiving meal. I'm a ham. It's, I'm a, the sides. Honey baked ham. Honey baked ham and sides. I'm not a turkey person. Uh, I don't like turkey. I don't think turkey is ever good. Uh,

I've had a good twice, I think. Yeah. We're reading. This is a list on the World Animal Protection website trying to get us to eat less meat. Well, I won't eat turkey. There you go. We're doing our part. Yeah, we're doing our part. Yeah. I mean, look at a turkey fight. How they attack. I guess they just got their beak. We got a wild turkey fight here. Oh, jeez. Yeah. Oh, man. Good guy. Yeah.

You got two turkeys going at it. They're kind of, right now, they're going, yeah, do something, do something, do something. Yeah. I mean, I'll be honest with you. The fact that they can, here, let me. They're kind of just wrapping their necks around each other right now. So I'll try to argue for the turkey. Okay. Mm-hmm.

So the baboon, everybody's like, this fight's done. The baboon even is arrogant about this fight because the baboons are very arrogant. I agree. I mean, they're arrogant as they come up to people. They don't care. So he's very arrogant. The turkey, it's like people are not even coming to this fight. Like they didn't even, they're not even buying. This is the first fight of the day. People are showing up late. They're like, I'm not going to waste my time on this fight.

It's pointless. That baboon goes in. He's just like walking around and hides up. He's doing a lot of showing for the crowd. They're very showmanship. Yeah. They're very like, ah. He's like, yeah, climbing the walls and stuff like that. He did not do his due diligence on turkeys. Do not realize. So he climbs up pretty high. They say he goes to the crowd, climbs up. I mean, he's – He's putting on a show. He's putting on a show. Nobody –

Knows that they can fly. Up to 55 miles per hour. This turkey flies and gets going fast and then just knocks the baboon out

and it falls to the ground and then just comes down 55 miles per hour and just lands on it and just ends it. What about the baboon? Because a lion in there, it could jump, but it's not going to be able to climb. Baboons can climb. That's what I'm saying. But what if it gets out of the ring and it climbs up one of the banisters? I don't know if you were listening when I was talking. No, I was watching the turkey fight. It was exactly what I was saying. It was...

To a tear. You know what I'm saying?

I tune out again and pitch it. The baboon has climbed up the Coliseum because he's putting on a show like no one's even showing up. It's like when a wrestler stands up on the corner of the ring and he's doing all that. The crowd is mostly full of other baboons watching Baboons. Like, I mean, you know, humans are not even in there. It's just basically all baboons have bought these tickets. Yeah.

And they're all in there, and it's climbing up the walls, and it's putting on a show. And he gets pretty high and starts climbing across the top. Because the turkey's chasing it a little bit, so he's just kind of mocking it. It's kind of a funny idea, too, if no turkey showed up and it was all baboons. Yeah. Yeah.

No, no one expects. No, you just said that's us. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, the teeth, I mean, everything is saying this baboon is 100% going to win this fight. But I'm saying the arrogance of the baboon is he's not taking it serious. And none of us, we are blown away. You're saying hubris is his fatal flaw. That a turkey can fly 55 miles an hour.

I mean, did anybody expect that? No, I had no idea. And that's what happened. I've never thought of a turkey flying, I'll be honest with you. I thought they were like penguins. And the baboon gets high up on top of the Coliseum. He's climbed up. He's on top. Crowd's going nuts, to be fair. Because it's all baboons. Yeah.

It's all baboons. So the crowd's going crazy. And he's up there going, and the turkey's just on the ground, and they're all laughing at the turkey. And the turkey just starts running. He starts running in circles, getting some speed going. They're quick. He's getting some speed going. And then lifts off, and at 55 miles an hour, he gets this baboon quick.

And he just, boom, just hits it off the top. With his claws. Yeah, with his claws and hits it. It falls to the ground. This calls CM hundreds of feet in the air. Falls to the ground and then slams on it, and the turkey kills it and wins. And people are shocked.

They're more shocked than the emu with the gun. Because a few people expected the emu to bring a gun. They were like, you know, I've been around these emus. Few people knew about the war in Australia. So they go, the emus are very gun heavy. So the turkey, I mean, the baboon just, its arrogance caused it to fall. The baboon that they sent in might have been like, hey, this is just a turkey. Why don't we send in this guy? You know, he might not be the best baboon. Yeah.

Well, I think they picked one baboon. But I think the baboon, he's like, I'm going to have fun on this fight because this shouldn't even be a fight. And he's really preparing for who's he fighting next. He's looking ahead.

Right. He's looking ahead to the next round. He's going to fight the winner of a... Two whales. Two whales. Yeah. So, I mean, that's tough. He's been water training. He's not even thinking. He's been water... Yeah, he's water training. He's trying to... He's going after whales' eyes and stuff like that. He's just not even remotely thinking about this turkey. It's a waste of his time. And the baboon's on the top, mocking it. The turkey starts running in circles. Gets going. Hits him off. It is...

The baboons. I mean, it becomes a—you know what? I'll even give you that the baboons in the crowd then go kill that turkey. A mob? A mob of the baboons go kill that turkey. So the winner of this fight, we just end up having B in a baboon, but it's not the original baboon. Yeah. Because the baboons—but the rules are coming down now. We have not liked what's going on. And then we bring a gun, and the turkey won.

But the baboon's in the crowd. But the baboon advances. The baboon advances because the baboon didn't attack that turkey. And that's a shame.

And that shouldn't have happened. And I mean, as the point, I am, you know, I'm the Roger Goodell of this. I go, I am ashamed right now. We never saw this coming. He gets booed everywhere. I get booed everywhere I walk out. I go, I didn't see that coming. I go, an emu with a gun. I go, we frisked these animals. It looks more on you now. I know. Yeah, but we know you knew. I know, but then they're like, why did you let all the baboons get the tickets? I go, no one was buying the tickets. Right.

No one wanted to watch this fight. Well, it's like a K-pop band. You did two for one baboons. They just buy them all up. You did two for one. He goes, I should move some tickets. No, I don't think it's that. I think it's the opposite. I think it's like a K-pop band. Baboons are such big fans. They'll just scalp them all up. They'll use game time, and then they'll get the seats they want. Yeah, but I say for the next fight, the baboons are not, no baboon's allowed to watch the baboon fight.

Well, last week you said there's no gun. What are you doing? We learn as we go. It's the first time we've done this. Yeah. We learn as we go. Okay.

You realize what fun is, right? I know, but you're a commissioner. Commissioners can't have fun. They got to have some rules here. I know, but I'm making up the fun as we go. You realize that we're trying to have a good time here. And even we got a gun. I've just made the bamboo go ahead. That's where we got PETA coming after us. We got a lot to work on. Yeah, we can also not do this and just not have any fun. But I'm saying the baboon moves ahead.

Dusty will be surprised on why the baboon moved ahead. I agree. He's not going to realize that the turkey did win. Yeah. But the other baboons got involved. And then they just peer pressured me

I mean, they showed up at my house. Right, right. They threatened my family. Twisted your arm. I said, the baboon goes on. But I made them a deal. I go, you are not allowed to come to the next baboon fight. Right. And you're fighting a whale. We don't know which one, but you're fighting a whale. We don't even know what those whales are. Yeah. Yeah. So good luck with that.

The baboons have been a nightmare for me. What is the whale going to do in that Coliseum water-wise? He's got water. You're allowed to have your environment. They used to fill the Roman Coliseum with water and have naval battles inside the Coliseum. Yeah. So we'll fill the first half of its ocean. 30 feet up with water. Half of its ocean. Drop them in. Yeah. And the other half's not. But the baboon's going to have to go to the whale. Yeah.

And the baboon, again, is still arrogant. Yeah. But we're going to see. I don't think it's... What's a new baboon? It's a new baboon, and they're mad.

But now I've not allowed any baboons into this fight. What if it's the baboon's son? Yeah. Well, but before, it was all baboons watching the fight because no one even wanted to go watch a baboon and turkey fight. And the turkey won. But now I've agreed that the baboon can move forward. But during the baboon fight, they're not allowed in the fight. I think we're going to have more trouble with these baboons. But right now, they're not allowed in the fight.

Not in the baboon turkey fight. In Naked Gun. OJ. Well, not OJ, but Leslie Nielsen's character. He does something stupid and opens up a big gate in the zoo in Los Angeles. And they're running around and the commissioner's like, do you realize because of your actions, baboons are running over this city? And he's like, well, isn't that a fault of the voters? I also like, now that I'm going more into your whole run here,

You're assuming that animals are the ones coming to watch these fights? No, I just made that up at the moment. I think regular people are, but I think this was a hard ticket to get people to buy. Because most people think a turkey is not beating a baboon. But I think baboons support each other. They made a big mistake, so maybe now no more of that animal that's fighting is allowed to come in at all. Not just baboons, baboons.

Could be. And maybe right now it's baboons, but maybe. We got lions fighting today. Sorry, guys. No lions. You hate to single an animal out. So maybe I do say if your animal is fighting. Let's be honest. They're the only ones causing problems so far. So far, everybody's been pretty great. A whole pack of wolves watching the cheetah fight, and they were fine. They were fine. The wolves are respectful. Cheetahs are respectful. I mean, they're going like this is what the animals do. We always signed up for it.

I think a gorilla would be more respected. It's baboons. Baboons are... The problem is you're probably going to have baboons dressing like gorillas coming in. There you go. Could be. We have major security problems here. Yeah.

We had a snail beat a gorilla, though. Nate made a strong argument. Yeah. And what happened? No, they didn't. The gorilla fell. Gorilla scares me almost the most, I think. Gorillas seem insane. Because they have features like us that's just huge muscles. All right, that's it. We got to wrap it up.

Everybody, we love you as always. Whenever this comes out the next week, I'm somewhere on tour. I'm out and about. Come see us. Add a bunch of shows. It's great. It's been awesome. It's fun. I love it. Go check Greg Warren's special out. Where are you going to be? May 12th and 13th, I'm at Mic Drop Comedy Club in San Diego. May 21st, Cap City Comedy Club in Austin. May 26th, 27th, Wise Guys in Salt Lake City. That's awesome, man.

May 17th and 18th, I'm at the Irvine Improv in the Ontario Improv in California. So come on out. Never been out there. It's awesome. I have a new residency I'm doing in LA at the Lyric Hyperion. Great. Twice a month, starting May 4th. And then...

I'll be at the Treehouse Theater in Deerfield, Massachusetts on June 15th, and then the Hereafter in Seattle on June 30th. Nice. All right. Go check everybody out. Go watch everybody. Nick Thune, thanks for coming in, buddy. Thanks for having me. It was great. It was fun. There's a bug there. I got it. I won that fight. You advanced. I advanced over the gnat. I advanced over the gnat.

So I moved on to the second round. We should have one, maybe one of us, we should have, that would throw us in this fight. In the bracket. In the bracket. Just like who could win, you know? Tiger baits with a gun. You can make a vote. If people are upset about this bracket and they want to, since we took this bracket so seriously, if enough people want a new bracket and it can add us and like,

or whatever and go through it and make it more strategic we can I mean I think they're really enjoying this one but I think they want to keep going yeah do some more brackets people have sent us their own brackets oh really of animals of just different things yeah alright well send us brackets of different things we're finished this animal send us one of comics fighting I want to do that one I think there's already some on there okay yeah good yeah comics fighting is good okay

All right. As always, we love you, and I hope you have a wonderful week. You're going to have a wonderful week, and we will see you next week. All right. Bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.

147: #147 Animal Fights with Nick Thune 02:21:29 Share

The Nateland Podcast

Deep Dive

Shownotes Transcript

147: #147 Animal Fights with Nick Thune