165: #165 Appliances Pt. 2
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Today's episode of the Nate Land Podcast is brought to you by Indeed, Iboda, Viore and Electric E-Bikes. Hello folks and hey bear, welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi, I'm Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slick. Alright, we're here, we're doing it. Pre-recorded one, just in case. Just in case what?

I just always say it. I like everybody being on the note. Let people know something could go down.

Yeah, I mean, stuff could change. If I died this weekend, how quickly would you replace me on this podcast? I mean, I already got a guy waiting. You don't even take a week off. No, he already is there. I would tell him. It's more about like, when is he going to pass away? I would say two weeks. I'd tell him, give it two weeks. I'd go, you know, and then we're... Two week notice. Yeah.

You'll call him and he'll say, so Bates is out? You're like, no, actually it was Aaron. Believe it or not. The young guy. No, we could never replace you. Just do it without you, not Mr. Beaton. Yeah. But I think it's like if, you know, I don't know. I just like people know that's been pretty good. You know, because what if it's something crazy in the news or crazy like

Something happened that you're like, I can't believe they're not addressing this. Well, this comes out the week of September 11th. Okay. There you go. Yeah. The guy that planned it already has an idea. People don't remember 9-11. They're supposed to. They're never supposed to forget. Kids.

They just don't, you know, but it's like, you know, I know it's very serious, but it's like every year it's like, feel like people got to like share stories and they got to end. It's like the same, you know, it's the same story they're sharing. They're like, this is, I was in my classroom and I found out about it. And well, that's a pretty weak story. I like the actual ones of people that save people. Yeah. If the story is, I heard about it. No, if you were actually connected to it and involved, I,

Yeah, you're good to share your story the rest of your life. But everybody kind of likes to talk about where they were. I know. Big things. But that's how big of a thing it was. Yeah. How many things have happened in y'all's life where you remember where you were, you remember when you found out about it? How many? I think there's... I mean, you go, yeah. He goes, whatever. JFK. I think the better question might be, what was the first thing

like news event you remember? Yeah. Well, nine 11s for me is I'm, I'm, I don't even think anything happened before that. Uh, I would remember princess die. Princess die. Oklahoma city bombing. Oh,

I don't know if I could tell you where I was at. I remember that, but I don't know if I could tell you where I was at. Princess Di, I could tell you where I was at. And then the shuttle launch, I mean, I imagine, but I think I was in kindergarten or first grade, so I don't really remember if, you know. You were seven when that happened. Yeah. So I don't remember. Everybody's like, oh, we went in and we watched it on TV. You probably covered it.

And at Channel 5, you got it. Were you watching that live, Brian? I was. No, I was at, it was a snow day. So we were out of school. Snowbird. And. Snowbird was around then. Still around, I think. Is he? I don't know. I think he got laid off. Who's Snowbird? He's the mascot for Channel 4 News. Oh, okay. He was always fun when he came out. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Anyway, I think I was over at my cousin's house and her mom came in and said, come in here. Something just happened. So I don't think I saw it live. I think I saw...

right after tell you what snowbird looks like a mascot that uh that would not be around these days anymore you know what i mean it looks like a canceled mascot yeah it's a it's a pink penguin oh from that angle it just looks it's a penguin okay no because yeah but it's it's it's not a good uh probably stand up on your own

It's a bad looking mascot. They did too much white in the middle. They should have had a little more. Because it really is more of a circle. It's not obvious it's a penguin from this angle. Yes. It looks like they combined Big Bird and Elmo together and then messed up the colors. That was their guy. For Channel 4. Now I went for Channel 5. So you hated Snowbird. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well.

That's what Bates grew up wanting to be. We had Newshound. Snowbird. Newshound? Yeah. Newshound 5. Newshound. All right. Not as big as Snowbird. Snowbird was all the rage. The Ronald McDonald of Nashville. Can't wait to see Newshound. Newshound. They don't even have pictures of him. I got a Newshound phone somewhere. Yeah. Yeah, he didn't last. Newshound phone? Mm-hmm.

Like a house phone? It was like a little stand. Oh, here's news. New sound looks nice. Oh, yeah, you have that phone. Does it bark when people call? Roof, roof, roof. I'll be honest with you, no one answers it much because people don't listen to news like they did. So it's not ringing. Let's just say it's not ringing. No, I think I bet there's a big, I bet.

Your local news is going to slowly make it strong. You think? Yep.

Strong what? Return. Return. If they went and did their own, if they went and did their truly, like just separate themselves from whatever the channel they're on and just be like, we're for you. And then really. Is it like Clear Channel though with radio where like, you know, Clear Channel seems to like own all the radio stations so they control what the content is. Is it news organization? Cause you know that, that.

That clip, everybody shared the clip where it seemed like all these local news organizations were saying the exact same thing. Yes. They're all reading the same. Yeah, saying like, that's got to stop. So the first person that doesn't do that would bring local news back. Yeah. The first channel that would let them do that. We should just start a local news thing. We'll just like Nateland News. Yeah.

You know, because they have Nash Severe Weather X, the Twitter app. Yeah, they're great. And it's like, I go to that before I go to the Weather Channel every time. Always. Yeah, always. I mean, I never go to the Weather Channel. I'm a Patreon supporter. Are you? Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, you should. Yeah, the Weather Channel is not going to help you with local news. Well, you know what I mean. Anything to get, you know, local weather. Yeah. Yeah, I think that Nashville Severe one is probably, it's more of today. Do you have to have Twitter for it?

I think you can go to YouTube. They put it on... They live stream on everything, but Twitter is where they post constant updates. Yeah. See, that's the thing is like you want to go... I wish...

They could, you could, you know, you almost wish everybody had an app, I guess. I guess maybe, you know, I would, I would say that then I'd go back to it. I wish they would make something that where everybody could just comment on the, that's what I'm going to do. Yeah. I got 50 apps and I got, you want me to tell you what they should come up with in 20 years? I say this thing where everybody just one app and all of you can talk on that. Just have accounts. That's what it would be if I ran the world.

We'd be back right back to Twitter in 20 years. Right now, I'd be like, it's a lot now. Yeah. But I think local news does basically just do its own thing. There was one company that owned a lot of stations and they would send down. But when I worked at TV news, nobody was telling us what to say. Yeah. Well, you know, you don't know what you're talking about. You don't know what we're talking about? I said, you don't know what you're talking about. Oh.

Okay. The guy who worked in TV for 20 years. That was the joke. That's called comedy. Here, I'll write it down and spell it for you. I don't know if you've ever read it. Well, in our case... C-O-M-E-D-Y. Comedy. That's how... Hold on. Underline it in case you're not getting it. Double underlined it. The funny joke would have been for us never to go to you.

about the chair you have the real expertise so you have the editorial control over stuff yes yeah all right we got work going to me so i thought well before we move on maybe i should mention kind of i know then i noticed you should have framed it like news let's go to brian what's written on the anchor do they actually have stuff on the paper right there is it more of a prop

No, they're scripts in case the teleprompter goes down. Oh, it's a backup for the teleprompter. That's all it is. But I think back then... But they stack it like they're looking at numbers. You know what I mean? I think back then it was individual more than it is now. I agree with you. Like your day, it would have been. That's when local news was on the top. All it was was local news. Like a regular news station couldn't do it. And then now it's like...

The other big news stations came along. And so then the local news are like, well, we just got to do what they're doing. And that's the problem. You should be doing your own thing. Yeah. I don't know why you feel that way.

I think everybody feels that way. You feel that way? Yeah. I mean, I think it would be nice if, you know, you were getting local news and, and, and just, I don't know, better stuff. I just feel like whenever you watch the news, it's just like, you know, one or two little stories here and there. It's like, give us some heat. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

I think there should be. We could do an 8-Land News and have a dusty segment to go. You know, just to be. People can go like, hey, you can go listen to this. You can not go listen to this. We're not. We're just doing a bit. Yeah. I would say you could do it in the news just to go like what he says. I just like having a different thought out there. I don't know what he's going to say. Yeah.

Deliver the news and then you could go to me for another take. Yeah. Let's go to Dusty for his take. You know, like you don't want to be just one take is you just going, I wouldn't come to me. Yeah. Not for this one. Yeah. And we go, all right. That was Dusty over there for his take. We're not going to do him tonight. Next step. I'm going to go to Brian. Yeah.

I'm the one that was on the news. We like to have fun here. Yeah, we're having a good time. We are having a good time. Yeah, out of the gate. Feels like we didn't even start recording. I...

Yeah, so we were, it doesn't matter where we were, because we were pre-recorded. I was in North Charleston. How'd it go? Great. Caught me at the Sparrow. Good crowd. Thanks for everybody coming out. Awesome. Yeah. Thanks, man. Sold it out. Did you see anybody that knew me in there from Charleston? Yeah. What was that? I was doing it too. But you weren't even really stretching. Yeah, that was a week. You weren't even thinking about it. I just seemed like...

You guys are doing it and I wanted to get in. Yeah. Everyone from Hyman's came out. Oh, good. Yeah. Awesome. It's cool. Sticky fingers. Yeah. Sticky fingers close. You know that? That's too bad. I messed up that joke that I don't do it anymore, so it's okay. But yeah. Sad day though.

Anybody else? No. Want to jump in there? Oh. A little TMZ, let people know. Nothing bad. I was in California. I was in California. Where are you at? Bakersfield. Oh, yeah. Pleasanton. When are you there? September 5th, 6th? 8th and 9th. Oh. That weekend. Oh, like. Going to Yosemite, too. Oh, 8th and 9th. Which I'm pretty excited about. Never been. I was at the Greek. Wow. So you. San Diego Tucson. Bigger show than mine? No. No.

Not for where we're at in our careers. I think you're exactly where you should be and I'm exactly where I should be. They're proportional. They're proportional. Yeah, it's exactly where we should be. So we're going to start with the comments. Evan Johnson.

I've realized this is a motivational podcast. You are living your dreams and having a great time doing it. So I decided to take your subliminal motivational speeches and apply myself to my dreams. My birthday was on a Tuesday and I received a phone call that I've received a firefighter slash paramedic job, my dream job.

I've been working a long time for this position, and I want to celebrate my favorite group of famous people, including Bran Flakes. Thanks for all the laughs and motivation. Wow. Thank you. Congrats to you, Evan.

That's awesome. Yeah. I don't understand. He got it. I don't understand what happened. He's a firefighter. He got his dream job after seeing us pursue our dream job. Oh, okay. He decided to take our motivational speeches and applied himself to his dreams. Yeah. Okay. So he went and got the job he wanted. Yeah. All right. I thought somehow he was subliminally trying to channel-

his dreams. And then all of a sudden he got a phone call and they were like, you're a firefighter now. I didn't even apply for it. Yeah. Well, Evan might not have applied for this. And so let's hope Evan is, uh,

A legit fireman. He got drafted. We're very excited for Evan, but there's a chance if you see Evan at your fire, you might be like, oh boy. I know who this guy is. And he did not do training. He just likes it. He just dreamed it up. He just dreamed it up. And if you see one guy running with one bucket back and forth from the truck, that's Evan.

And they go, Evan, we got a hose. And Evan just goes. And he goes, this is what I've always dreamed. And he just does it. And then he's like cutting shirts off. And they're like, that guy's not even hurt. And he's like, bear me. He's doing both. He's like, this is my dream. He's doing the clear stuff. He's doing the clear. They go, Evan, Evan, you're not. That's a wee. Congrats, Evan. But we do hope it's like that. Yeah, we do. That's very fun. Good for you, man. Because I thought those were two different jobs.

Firefighter, paramedic. No, I think paramedic goes with it. If you've got a fire, any kind of like that, paramedic kind of wrapped up in there. They're in cahoots. And there's always so many people. If you're a firefighter, I mean, they can't. Where are you going to put a paramedic? You don't just have a guy on the. You need someone that's like do both. Yeah.

You know, when you go to war, they have a medic that's also a soldier. I mean, they're not just throwing a real doctor out there and like he's just got a stethoscope and the scrubs just running behind the lines behind the guy just being like, I don't know if I should be out here. And they go, yeah, but it's going to get ugly and we might need you to do major surgery on the ground.

They need to be ready. You need to be ready. Does a firefighter drive? Everybody can see me because of my blue gown I got on. Scrubs, yeah. My scrubs. And he goes, they don't got a back to them. He goes, I was very uncomfortable when I sit down. I mean, this is, you wanted to be a doctor. You're a doctor. You dreamed it up. You dreamed it up. So a paramedic, do they drive the ambulance? One of them does.

I guess. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you would have. But I think his job is to like... I think I could do that as a paramedic. I'd be like, let me drive...

the ambulance. I don't know if I want to be back in the weeds of it. Yeah, that would be fun to just drive. It's unclear what exactly this position is. He might just fix the vehicles for these two. You know what I mean? No. No one's going to... He said I received a firefighter slash paramedic job. That could mean you work dispatch or something. Why would you...

No one would word it like that. Why don't you crush his dreams? I'm not crushing his dreams. I'm trying to expand our idea of what his dream is to accommodate whatever it happens to him. I received a job of being a police officer. Oh, my gosh, dude. So you're a police officer? I'm in the front when you come in. Okay.

One that doesn't get a gun. So you're not a police officer. No. I work for the police. Police. Yeah, exactly right. No, he's a firefighter. I'm involved in policing. He's a firefighter. And he's even better at everything that he probably threw in. I'll be a paramedic too.

Just because he could. He goes. And that's probably what sent him on the top. Set resumes down. And Indeed. Go ahead. Wow. That was well done, dude. Finding great talent doesn't have to be a second job. You can hire faster and better with Indeed. You just need to breathe, take it easy, keep it simple. If you're hiring, you need Indeed. Here's why. I'm going to rattle these off real quick. We've all heard them before, but they're worth reiterating.

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Pretty up there, but we never landed on it. Who was it this weekend? Was it Russia that sent a capsule there and it crashed into the moon? Oh, I didn't see that. I think it was Russia. It's pretty far away. They missed the landing. Yeah. Amazing. I mean, they hit it, but they... Why is Russia worried about the moon right now?

I don't know. Maybe it wasn't Russia. I feel like it was Russia. I feel like they're spinning a lot of plates at the moment. I think chances are they just said, hey, we crashed on the moon. This is Dusty's new segment. Yeah. What if they go to Putin and they go, we sent something to the moon. He's like, what? He goes, who are you? He goes, we're like your NASA team.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. Is it, what do they call them? They go, they're called cosmonauts. I don't know what the organization's called. Who even knows that answer? Yeah. You knew that? Yeah. Oh, Yuri Gagarin. Well, you covered it. Probably the space race. You're interning for Walter Cronkite. That joke good as early and still relevant today. It was a good five minutes ago. Yeah.

Reg Griffin. Reg. Reg. Probably Reg, yeah. Reg Griffin. I like that better than Reg. Reginald? Yeah. I did not like Reg Griffin. Yeah, Reg Griffin is a bit much. I did not care for that. And then Reg Griffin, I was like, that sounds, I actually like that guy. Old Reg.

Reg Griffin. On the reg. Yeah, on the regular. Aaron, how were you the first to get to that xylophone iPhone joke? It's genius. Do you register something like that once you find it? Big fan in Atlanta. Hmm.

I don't know. I'm maybe not the first guy to talk about that ringtone. Talk about playing the xylophone and that they're the ringtone is a xylophone. That's all you got. That's the only xylophone anybody knows. You are the only one. Well, the stress of having that sound effect pulled up on my phone in my pocket was a lot to deal with. And I'm glad I'm glad I haven't had to deal with it for a while.

Because there were shows I took my phone out and I had accidentally X'd out of where you click the sound and I quickly have to go to it. Yeah. And that's not fun. Yeah, that's a real timing joke. Yes. Like an easy hit. You almost want a sound cue from the booth.

Yeah. Then you got to trust them. Then you go, you just go, all we had was, and then you just point to the sky and he goes, and then everybody just roars. Yeah. They lose. Your dad had a sound cue the other night. That was a little, little off.

Yeah. That bowling ball joke. Oh yeah. His get off. So he had even dropped it yet. You already hear a little like going down the lane. Yeah. Yeah. It's funnier that way. Yeah. Yeah. He, his sometimes we've had it, we had it messed up cause his he'll do it on his belt.

And sometimes it doesn't click. So, I mean, we've had it. Well, that's real magic, though. If that ball is rolling, you hear the ball rolling and it's not rolling yet. Yeah, that's magic. Yeah, that's true. Regular Griffin. I went to high school with a kid named Random. Oh, really? Random Giles. Oh. He's a nice kid, but I've never met him. What's his name? Ran?

No, he'd go by Random. Random Giles. That's a great last name. Giles? Yeah. How do you feel about Random? In conversation, you're like, that's Random. That last name's so good that you kind of forget about the first name being Random. Because I'm Random Giles, and you're like, nice to meet you. That is Random. Yeah, you're like, nice to meet you. Yeah. I'm Regular Griffin. It's Regular Griffin. Regular Griffin. Regular and Random. I go by Regular.

Wrecking Ram. But he's saying, do you register something? Like, do you register a joke? You don't register a joke. You just do them. Register Griffin. Register Griffin. Yeah. Josh Stringer. Thinking about accents and pronunciations, Breakfast always pronounces 70 with an M and D in the middle. Seventy. Seventy? Seventy. Seventy.

70? I don't... I certainly hear the D. 70. 70. 70. 70. 70 years old. And in the middle, I used to be... I used to be 70 years old. Instead of three-syllable, 70, he rolls with two syllables, 70.

Seventy. Seventy. And I can't figure out how to phonetically type out how he says point. That's the Lebanon accent for you. Now, you say point by point. Point. Point. Let me point to that. Yeah. Point. I don't know how to spell that either. Seventy. Say it correctly. Point. Point.

And I point to something. Point. No, you're not. Okay, now see, now you're in my head. Yeah. I point it out. Was that it? Point it out. Do I say it right? P-O-H-N-T. Pwn it out. Pwn it out. Yeah. Fog word, leg word. Pwn it out. Pwn it out.

You say he started laughing. He's like, he started getting himself going a little bit before the rest of us. Huh? W-E-L-L. W-E-L-L.

We'll be right back. Yeah. You should say we're. We're. Oh, yeah. I'll say we'll be right back. Yeah. Yeah. That's the one. Yeah. Yeah. I got a lot. I have a joke now where I say the word wolf probably about 35 times. And I and your buddy thought I have to really was a wolf.

But I think about it. I mean, I focus on it the whole bit because I've been called out on this podcast that I say wolf. Wolf. Wolf. Wolf.

I had a joke where I was saying, talking about deer meat. Venison. And I was saying venison. What are you eating, by the way? It's for a heartburn. You're the real deal, man. Yeah. So I said, I would say venison.

And I said it for, you know, in front of thousands of people. I did many shows. Finally, somebody messaged me on Instagram and they were like, are you saying venison with a hard T at the end? Like innocent with a V in front of it. And I was like, wow, I guess I am. I had no idea. Venison. Not venison. It's venison. Venison, not venison.

There's a lot of words that I just found out within the last few years that they're not pronounced the same. Like what? Like pitcher, like a baseball pitcher and picture. I always say, yeah. Oh, that's a picture frame. Yeah. A picture frame. Yeah. I would say that's a picture frame. Picture of water. Picture. Baseball pitcher. Well, those are the same words. Wow. The mammal that lives in the water and a whale.

Yeah, and the thing you draw water from? To me, that's the same. I would say that. I'd say both those are well. There's a well out there in the well. Okay. There's a well. I looked down the well and saw a well. And it's doing well. I would say it like that. And it's doing well. I would pronounce that as the same. You thought they were spelled the same? No, I thought they were pronounced the same. Oh, that's Southern. We pronounce them the same. Yeah.

Picture and pitcher, that's the crazy one. That doesn't make sense. But you guys were just getting those. I can see a theme going for this episode. I don't mean to, but I don't know if it was even decided what you were going to call it. It's so new. What if it's a picture of a pitcher?

That'd be tough. That'd be tough. That'd be harder. Pitcher and pitcher. That's a pitcher and pitcher. Pitcher and pitcher. Pitcher and pitcher. Pitcher of a pitcher. Michael McCarver, when Jesus did carpentry, do you think he ever cut a piece of wood too short?

I think it gives interesting insight into what people think perfect actually means. So this is... I don't think so. He wrote this in after a couple weeks ago. I mentioned how I'm now watching The Chosen and how it was a little hard for me to get into it at first because they had backstories that weren't in the Bible and they really humanized Jesus. So he's just asking...

What does that mean? And I don't know. I'd say he's perfect in the sense that he was sinless. But as far as everyday life, do you ever miss a free throw? I don't know. Yeah, that would be a sin. I don't think he cut wood too short, though. I bet he measured twice and cut once. Are we saying he cut a piece of wood too short to...

Make a point? To lie to his customers, cheating them off a little. I think he just made a mistake. Well, did he have a, I mean, I don't know if he had a business, right? You know,

Well, I think he had to have had some kind of, I think he was like a carpenter. I don't know if it was Jesus Christ. Yeah. I don't think, yeah, I don't think, I think it was very brief, very loose, very, you know, it was like, it was like a job. I don't think he, you know, Jesus is like, yeah, I mean, I worked 15 years. I was a carpenter. I think he was. I mean, I think it was, if you, the timeline was that long, he was a carpenter. He was grinding it out for that long. I mean, when did his, when did he start?

hitting the road doing shows 30 in his thirties. Right. So it was 30. Yeah. Yeah. So his dad was a carpenter. So it could have been a family business. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. But it's, I'm saying you do. What were his twenties? Like he was cutting wood. Like he could have been helping his dad build stuff and like, you know, yeah, I could see that. You're right. But I, I mean, I, I meant like, I don't think it's like, it's more word of mouth. Yeah. Grinding it out. Like it's, you know, it's like he's a carpenter and his dad's a carpenter and he's the guy there that can do carpentry stuff. Yeah. Yeah. It's his dad's stepdad. It's his dad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

It's his shop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We don't need to get into the weeds. It's an interesting family dynamic. That's for sure. Yeah. Uh,

Paul Johnson, we're moving from Wyoming to Murfreesboro. Manifest destiny. And we had a garage sale today. I'm a little weird around people and I think I said, all right, and we're having a good time about a hundred times today to folks in Dusty's voice. And some of my wife said, what is wrong with you? She doesn't listen to the podcast, so I couldn't really explain it to her, but we made almost enough to tip the movers. So I'm sticking with it. All right. For the whole experience. All right.

Hope to see you guys in town when we get there. Welcome to Murfsboro. All right. There it is. We're having a good time. There you go. Welcome to the Johnsons. Yeah. I mean, that's great. I mean, my wife asked me that same question, though. You know what I mean? What's wrong with you? Yeah. Yeah. So. It'd be easy to look up in the yellow pages. Paul Johnson. Yeah. Oh, who's coming up next? Tyler Johnson. His brother. Oh, yeah. They're getting in there.

The Johnsons. I work at Dugway Proving Ground. I work at Dugway Proving Ground, Utah, training our nation's finest. That's a tough sentence. I work at Dugway Proving Ground. Is that a city? Maybe Dugway Proving Ground is a city? He also called it Area 52. It's an Army facility that tests biological and chemical weapons. Okay.

I spent a lot of time in my truck and I've listened to sports radio. Who else but our Ann Weber jumped on for an interview and did great. At the end of the show, they were giving away two rounds of golf to whoever could answer the question, where did comedian Aaron Webb go to college? Needless to say, I got through and won the golf rounds. All right. How about that? It's at Michigan State. Yeah.

That was very nice. He also invited you to come play with him. Oh, did he really? Yeah. Oh, nice. I'm out there in October. Wise guys. Comedy club. Pretty exciting. Tyler, let me know what your handicap is and I'll let you know how that will go. I'll let you know if you want. Tyler might want to do it.

And Tyler, you might not want to. I think maybe we'll go hang at the driving range. I think I'm that. No, you might be. No, most people probably are going, you know, y'all have a good time. Y'all have a great time. Gabriel Volk.

I'm going into my 12th year of fantasy football, and I've yet to win. This year, the last place punishment is to do 10 minutes of stand-up at an open mic night. I'm worried based on my previous year's performance, I could very well be the one to come in last place. That's having to do 10 minutes of stand-up comedy, no prior experience. For something like this, what would you suggest I do? Just get up there and tell a funny story from my life, or I should try to write a joke?

10 minutes. No one's going to give you 10 minutes. So don't worry about it. You won't have to do 10 minutes. Typical open mic is four or five minutes. Yeah. So that's all you're going to do. And just start doing it now in preparation for losing fantasy football. And then by the time your friends come and see you do your five minutes, you'll be crushing it. And they'll be like, whoa, you should have been doing this all along. You're like, yeah, it's my first time. Yeah. Now I heard that...

You recently went to open mic and took your brother-in-law from China and he signed up and did the open mic. Yeah. What is this? Well, we're just going to skip over a brother-in-law from China. Well, my, my, my wife, her brother lives in China, in Beijing. So he visited China.

And he's from China. He's from Canada. He's from Canada, but he lives in China. Grew up there. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he lives there for like his work. Yeah. You, the way you said it made him sound Chinese. Yeah. I mean, you're Chinese. Well, let's go to dusty real fast. He's got a brother-in-law from China and like, well, why, where does that come from? I know.

Yeah. Now that makes sense. So he did an open mic and the East room was great. We had a lot of fun. Had he ever done it before? He'd never done that room before. Well, I know that room, but he's ever done stand up. Oh, he's done stand up before. He doesn't do it a lot. He just kind of hobbyist with it, but he wanted to do a mic. And at the mic, I guess it had some problems with, I don't know, people getting mad about jokes. So they announced at the beginning of the show that this is a free speech zone.

So my brother-in-law, who's Canadian and lives in China, goes up and basically lectures the whole mic about how I thought the whole country was a free speech zone. And then he proceeds to read the Constitution to people. Oh. And –

They listened. I was like, all right. You gave a standing ovation. Nobody's laughing right now, but they are listening. Sometimes that's all you can ask for. Were you reciting the words along with them? Yeah, I was off to the side giving them the syllables. Everything he says, you're like, and just mouthing the words.

Yeah, I'm behind him. Like kind of those couple... There's a couple of creepy videos of like... It looks like staffers wrote stuff for, I don't know, politicians. Yeah. And so they're reading along with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they're like, one girl looks like she's been awake for four days. Yeah. And she seems to be losing it. Yeah. I liked seeing that girl though. Yeah. Because I like seeing someone into their job. And that's someone that's into her job. Totally. Like, so I like take out that there's, you know...

the political aspect of it, just look at a person into their job. That's what made me like that girl. Cause she doesn't, nothing exists in that moment except her job, which is that speech. Yeah. And so I, I always kind of like, I like seeing that just cause it's like, Oh, that girl is going to be, she'll go very far. Cause it's something that no, if you know how to get that into your,

what you do, then. And she knew it so well that she leaned in at one point and like corrected. It seemed like that's what happened. Yeah. It's like she really knew it. Yeah. Cause I mean, yeah, you're, you gotta get lucky to find some people like that. Cause even as a comic, like I've wrote jokes with people before and I'm standing off to the side, watching them do the joke and I'm like going along with them. And if they don't do it the right way, I'm like, ah, no, you know what I mean? Mm-hmm.

Like you missed it. Lean in. Tell them. Yeah. Uh...

Eric Smith. Oh, yeah. So that guy doing less comics. So yeah, just tells it. Yeah. Tell us a funny stories. Uh, tell a funny story. The very opposite of what we said at first. What do Joe, you said, write some jokes now. Yeah. I'd start writing some jokes now. So you just went by the time you, if you, if you got the nerve to try to go do it alone, then go do it alone. Yeah. Uh, keep the joke short, but I think this is a, uh, a bit of a misconception there. Even stories have jokes in them. You know,

You know what I mean? So it's not like it's an either or a story is just, but for someone just starting, it's like, if he has a funny story, it's go tell it. I'll tell you what, if you think you have a funny story, shave about,

make it a minute long. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever you think that story is. I don't even, I don't even, I'm not even hearing the story. I can tell you, go ahead and take it down to one minute. Bring it down to like, you have to tell it on an elevator. Yes. Yeah. And I don't care. You're like, well, this one's a long one. Get it.

Do an elevator. That's great advice. Yeah. Because people drag out a story. Oh, yeah. And then we're all tuning out. Or they do the best part, too, within the first 30 seconds. Yeah. And then they're trying to keep up with it. And you're like, well, there's nothing else behind it. Yes. So you got to just move on. Or pick a good team. Yeah. Or get better at fantasy football.

Eric Smith. Eric Smith. So I made several comments and have yet to have any of them read on the show. I have a new conspiracy theory that Brattleboro Bates and the boys will not read my comments because my name is too boring and easy for Nate to say. Eric Smith. True. Eric Smith. I don't feel like those two combined feel different to me. Eric Smith. I don't think of an Eric going with a Smith.

No, me either. Yeah. Like, so it makes it kind of different. It's like Eric Smith. Like, that's what I would say. Like I was going in a completely different direction. Yeah. Put a question mark at the end. Eric Smith. Yeah. And then you, now you got a unique name. He does. Yeah, he does. Dusty Slay? Dusty Slay. Eric Smith. Now you're going to, there's a built-in question mark to this next name.

Jerry Richendatter. Can I answer Eric's question? Oh, go ahead. It wasn't even a question. I forgot you were on it. Go ahead. That's not true. Okay, go ahead. What was the question? About him not...

about me picking names that are hard for you and not picking easy names. But just in point of fact, there was no question in that comment. It was just, he was making a comment. Yeah. The real truth is that Brian will sometimes pick Eric's comments to read and then we as a group decide that they're not good enough to be read. That's true. We eliminate that. I'll tell you what, Eric, this is the last comment you'll ever get read. That's for sure. I have a whole system that I could break down if you want.

Never cares. Maybe a side podcast. Well, I mean, do you want them to know the system? Because then they'll all try to repeat it. Yeah. But let me give you some basics pointers. What Nate just said about the joke. Cut it down. I mean, first of all, don't try to be funny. If you've got a funny story, by all means, share it. But don't insert a lot of jokes and all that stuff. A lot of people just like to funny it up. You don't need that. Mm-hmm.

I've got a funny story. Share it. Try to keep it tight. I will edit it down a lot if I can to try to fit it on here. I usually start with first comments, usually a positive about last week's episode. I usually mention the title in it so Nate can remember what we talked about last week. Do that for Nate. That's pretty good work right there. Second one, then we get a little funny, maybe something they didn't like about the podcast, something we got wrong. I try to find a comment first.

about all four of us so we can all kind of get involved comment in a little bit and then these like this one where we're taping ahead of time I got a vault of just comments that I've just been saving so some of these might have been from six months ago that they submitted but hey maybe you got one out there it's still gonna it's still gonna happen just hadn't got them in the bank got them in the bank

Ready to go. It's a system. Got a system. And that was the short version of explaining it. That was the short version. I got a lot more. Is there a lot more, Pharrell? I don't look at names. Oh. I don't even pay attention to names. Let's call it the breakfast system. That's interesting. So you don't look at names. You just read the comments. Yeah, because I don't want to. So when some people have gone on here a couple of times, they're legitimately just –

have written two great comments. Yeah. What happened over here? I just said, let's call it the breakfast system. Yeah. And that made Aaron laugh. Yeah. And then, and then no one, no one else listened. So we just laughed at it. It's funny though. Sometimes we're alone over here for a minute or two and then we come back.

Yeah, I don't think it's fair. If someone's got a great comment, it's not fair that they don't get it read because they've already been on before. That's interesting, though. That is very fair. I think it makes people that have had their comments read twice...

Like, oh, like you're getting it in. Right. Like you're getting on your own merit. You're not getting it, you know. Yeah. I'll say a fun tip is if you email in all caps, that'll stand out. Right? Shut up, Aaron.

Don't go through it. Don't. People love to DM me and don't send it to every social media where I have to read the same one five times. Just send it to one. That gets you almost disqualified. If I have to read it four times before it makes it here, you're disqualified. Yeah. I'm making that rule. That's not part of the breakfast. That's the dusty system. Yeah. It's pretty big. A lot of rules to follow. Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple podcast reviews. I mean, if they leave them on Apple podcast reviews. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Nate land at Nate Bergetti.com. What's probably the best email or do you like YouTube? I think I like YouTube because, um, emails fine, but people tend to get long on those emails. Also YouTube comments are public. So it's going to be, you know, people are, you rewrite better stuff when you think everybody else. That's right. That's a good point. And it's just your handle on there now. So I can't even see your name. Like I see the comment first before I even click on it. See what your name is. Yeah. So take that Eric.

But your trick worked because you just got your comment read. Yeah. Talked about it for a while, too. Jerry Reck Chanteter. Reich? Probably Reich. Reikendater. Reikendater. Maybe. I bet that's right. Jerry Reikendater. That sounded bad. Spells J-E-R-I, which might be a woman. Maybe. I would go by J-R. If I were a guy, I'd be J-R.

Jerry. And then they go, come on, man. Don't do J. Give me your real name. He goes, Jerry Reichen da der. And they go, all right, Jerry. Growing up in Indianapolis, I remember when they built the Hoosier Dam. Don't. Don't. The Hoosier Dam. Yeah.

They added a 1% sales tax to pay for it. That was in 1984, and it was imploded in 2008, but we're still paying that tax. Wow. Never got it paid off. Still paying it. How about if you're building something and it takes 40 years to finance? Don't do it.

Yeah, we're always... Well, but I mean, I don't think it took four years to finance. They're just doing the tax. Oh, they just kept the tax on? They just kept the tax going. Yeah, they never get rid of the tax. They just switch it to something else. Read my lips. Yeah, yeah, they just put... Has there ever been taxes taken off? Not that I'm aware of. There's been tax cuts, yeah. Yeah, are they really though? Are they like...

I don't think so. I think so. I don't think. They've never been like the sales tax in this county is 10%. Now it's nine. I would say that's never happened. I was thinking more like. I'm sure like. If all these stuff with bills were written. I'm sure like lower taxes. Is there one that's ever gone away? Like paid.

Paid off. You guys no longer have to pay this tax. I'd say they have never even lowered taxes. I would think that even if they do lower it one, they're going up somewhere. Yeah. I don't think they're ever giving you the money back. I mean, that's like every job that's like a government job is like you got to spend all this money or we're not going to give you the exact money. So we're already used to paying these taxes. So they're not going to just let us get used to paying less taxes. Yeah.

I agree. That's a good point. Jordan Penley. Aaron, have you heard of the birthday paradox? It would be amazing to hear you try to explain it to Nate and see if Dusty believes in it. Have you heard of it? Yeah. If you were in a room with strangers, how many people do you think would need to be in that room for there to be a 50% chance that two people would share a birthday?

150. Is there an actual number? Yeah. There's an actual number that will surprise you how few people you need for there to be a 50% chance. Well, you said a good number. Well, 178 would be half of the calendar. Yeah. The answer is 23.

If you have 23 people in a room, there's a 50% chance, I think more than 50% chance that two people will have the same birthday. Really? Even though there's 365 days. Wow. That's why it's called a paradox because it seems crazy. But the math of it works out that 23 people half the time. So basically you have a 23% chance. No. No. No.

That's not. No, I'm saying it's more than with 23 people. There's more than 50% chance. And I'm saying in life, if you ever go walk around, could you say you have a 23% of meeting someone that has your birthday? No, every 23%. You have a one in 23 chance. You have more than 50% chance of every 23rd person you meet that you share a birthday with. Yeah. There you go. So percentage of percentage. Yeah. Yeah.

That's pretty cool. Pretty cool. Now I want to do a thing, a man on the street where I find 23 people and ask them what their birthday is. Come to my show this weekend. It's going to be my new closer.

He needs you for the 23rd person. Yeah. And it's counting Brian. We had 23 people there. Take you out of it. He goes, 22. That's go-go tickets. If a comic counted themselves. He goes, dude, we were packed out. 100 people there. Take you out of it. 98. Two down. Nobody that was on the show. It's like, well, there's not 50 people. 23 people. Yeah, you put them in a room.

Two of them are going to have the same birthday. You have a 50% chance. More than 50% chance. So it doesn't matter. It's not necessarily your birthday. Any two in the room are going to share a birthday. If there's 46 people in the room, I mean, what's the percentage there? 100% chance? 100% chance. Borderline 100%. It's never not happened.

Wow. I want to do this. I need to find 46 people that don't have my birthday. We got to think we got four people at this table right now. Right. So I got 20. You compare your birthday to Dusty. You compare your birthday to me. Compare it to Brian. That's three. All right. That's three comparisons that are being made. Yeah. Of birthdays. Well, then I compare mine to Dusty. I compare mine to Brian. That's two.

So that's five already, and it's just with four people. So you have 23. There's like 200 different comparisons being made. Oh, so it doesn't have to be your birthday. No, it's any two in there. You need to be invited in the room. I'm sorry if I phrased it that way, but among 23 people, there's a more than 50% chance that there will be a birthday shared in the group. Oh, okay.

This is college. Is it a college thing? No, it's just fun reading. Was there a movie about this? Not that I know of. What was that movie? The Butterfly Effect. Kind of. It's a great movie. The Birthday Paradox. Wasn't there a movie about a number that... The number 23. Yeah. With Jim Carrey. But that wasn't... No, it had nothing to do with this. Okay. That was like a horror movie, right? Yeah. Yeah. Scary as some... Yeah, there's a lot of...

Theory about Let me tell you what I watched Liar Liar With Jim Carrey So good It's You could I mean am I crazy Or could he have won an Oscar Yeah so good Dude It's unbelievable man I mean I haven't watched that in forever And I'm going through it What he's doing

Like comedically is when he's writing a pen and he's fighting himself and where his hand is acting independently from him. And you really feel like his hand is on its own. Yeah. I mean, amazing. Could it have won? Like you just be like best actor and be like, you, no one's doing that. Right. No one can do that. Yeah. Jim Carrey is incredible. You can't. Incredible. That's a, an acting like it's, it's a joke. Cause it's a,

the movie and stuff, but like all the different stuff, all the, even when he's in court and he's how quick he is. And I mean, beats himself up in the bathroom. I'm kicking my ass. So good, dude. He should have won one for Truman show, but you're right. I mean, I think what he did in a liar, liar is unbelievable. Yeah. I mean, they just wouldn't ever give it. But if you want to go realistic, you're like, no, we're going to go straight up. You're like, not even trying to be funny. Just we're saying,

Find me another person that could do that. Me, myself, and Irene, his performance is really good. That's like a weirdly dirty movie, but his role in that, he's playing like two characters the whole time. Really great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I really enjoyed it. And I've seen it before, but it's like...

You're just watching it and you're like, golly, dude, this guy is unbelievable. He was so great on In Living Color. I just saw a thing, a documentary about... Got to watch that on TV. I'm about to go deeper here. The Super Bowl, like this is the mid-90s. Now the halftime show is so big. The Super Bowl used to be nothing. And they were doing like a Disney...

uh, characters or something was the halftime show and in living color went on live on an opposite channel during halftime and did a live show. And so many people turned over there. It like messed with the super bowl. And then the next year, Michael Jackson was the halftime entertainment. Oh, really? Yeah. I'd never, I don't remember that. And I never heard that, but I saw that. Wow.

They were the first ones to say, let's compete. And everybody turned over there during halftime. And I think they had a clock so people could see they're not missing anything. But yeah, it really messed with their ratings. Yeah. To the point where from now on, it's the biggest star in the world that's doing the halftime show. Wow. Yeah. That's really good. That's good. I think they ever have a comic do it. The halftime show? Yeah. It'd be tough.

Yeah. To do a stand up at the halftime show. That's your next career goal. We can make it happen. What's up, everybody? Would you do that spot?

Let's say Goodell calls you tomorrow and he goes, I don't know, Rihanna canceled. I don't even know who's doing it this year. Beyonce, somebody. You'd probably only get it for that scenario. You'd have to have jokes. Yeah, you may do it, but there'd be one where I would have writers. I'd be like, let's get some writers and make very specific jokes. Topical stuff? I think for that situation to go, you have to make it about what's going on. You wouldn't do your best 15th.

You do your new 15 you're working on? No. I mean, I would like to, but it's, I think out of context, it's too out of context for them to grasp your joke or what you're saying. You could do some wife jokes or you could do some, you know, whatever. Maybe some crowd work. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's a big crowd. And then, what's that? Go ahead. Yeah. The guy in the green shirt. It's a whole...

The guy with the Jersey at the top. It's only jerseys in the top. All right. The guy that took his shirt off my homes. Uh, I think you would have to like who, where that would work would be honestly, probably like a Jeff Ross going to roast the town, maybe a roast, uh,

roast the things that could probably work. It had to be jokes like that, like that kind of quick, you know, that'd be very funny, but it's, it would be hard to get people's really focus. You know, people want to see they're not because they're,

They're not even watching. Even the singers is like, it's about the, you know, them flying around. I would do that. I'd be like, all right, I'll do it. But I'm going to do, I would say I'll do it, but I'm going to do my act. And I will, but I want to move around as much as a singer would.

Yeah, what if they could float you to a different stage, you land on it, do a quick joke, and then you float to another stage, do a quick joke? There's a wardrobe malfunction? Yeah, you would set it up like that, have like...

Yeah, like go out, do something and be like, I'm going to read knock-knock jokes, but I won't do it as a performance. But just a short greatest hits kind of thing where you land and you go, is that horse dead? And then it floats you over. Is that a wolf? And then it floats you over, you know? Yeah. Do the whole thing. Just animal bits. Yeah. Just animal, yeah. Yeah.

All right. Jerry Reckendotter. Going backwards. Emily Osborne. A guy climbs 1,500 feet to the top of a tower in South Dakota twice a year to change a light bulb. It takes him two and a half hours to climb up and one and a half hours to climb back down. He gets $20,000 every time he does this. Who among you would do it?

I feel like something like this came not, I think that, I feel like that's like something was, that's not, it's not true. I pulled up the video and one of the comments is Dusty Slade, not enough money for me. Yeah. And you're in it, dude. All over the place. Yeah. Why did you comment? I just, I don't know. I scroll along and then I just comment on things. I thought I read some too about this. I don't think he gets $20,000.

He gets more? No, no. It's an hourly. It's not like it's his thing. Oh, so this isn't a- Yeah, they don't go, here's $20,000. Go change that light bulb. I'm almost positive that's not true. He's a city worker. I know Eric, the barber trainer, would do it because he likes to do crazy stuff. I would want to do it.

I don't know if I would do it, but I would want the theory of it. I would want, I guess if you know, you're strapped in, there's no way I do it, but I mean, it's really, you're like, okay, I got it going. And then you get to the top and then you're like, man, I get the top and then I dropped the light bulb. I don't want to do it just for the amount of steps. Yes. Like if that were a staircase all the way up, I'd be like, nah, I'd be like, whoever's filming this. How about you do it?

Yeah, I thought you would just attach the new bulb to this drone you got up here and just hook it in. Yeah, there should be a better way to do it. But I mean, he's really, I guess he looks at it as like you're really strapped in. I hope so. Yeah, I just wouldn't. I mean, I just feel like that would. I wonder how long it takes. Tower would top. Well, she said. Two and a half hours. Oh, two and a half hours. Oh, yeah. He probably has lunch up there and like, you know, man, you're just being left alone. Yeah.

And they would pay $20,000. Yeah. Just the solitude is nice. Just to go. Yeah. I would enjoy that. Just go sit up there and man, that last part would be the last. Yeah. I mean, all of it would be crazy. And then that last part would be like, and then if you're like, I can't do it. They're like, yo dude, that's, you know, it would get annoying to be having to click on, click off and all that stuff. I watched a movie about a girl who got trapped on one of these. I watched it.

I watched it in parts in TikTok, like part one of nine. I just kept. Oh, they showed it? Yeah, I watched basically the whole thing. How do they do that? Just make several videos. People just do that. So no one's even watching the whole, but it's called Fall or something like that? Something like that, yeah. Yeah, I watched the whole movie. I mean, and I jumped in. She was already trapped. So I had no character development at all, but I just wanted to see what happened.

Yeah. It would make... I mean, I already wouldn't do that. But after that movie, I'm definitely not going up for it. Are people really watching stuff like that? Like, that's insane. I don't think they're watching whole two-hour movies. But, like, I'll watch long clips from movies all the time on there. I know. So, but then you... The problem is, is then you will... You...

will have an opinion about the movie. Of course. And then that's the part that people shouldn't have. Like you don't get it. Like you didn't go through the whole thing. Oh, you're right. Cause I'm just watching something. So out of context, you do it. So I'm saying, um,

This is... I bet it's everything. It's just frustrating to be like... There's probably so many people that are like, I saw that movie. And you're like, they did not see it. They saw... Not saying you got the gist of it, but you got it in a like, I don't really care. Or you'd be like, that movie was like, whatever. Because you were in a bad mood. Right.

you know, sitting on the toilet watching this movie and you have a real opinion and go out and go, ah, that movie's not that fun. Well, think about the amount of people that have only seen

a joke or a fraction of a joke from your last special versus the amount of people that have sat down and watched the whole thing. I think it's a ton. Yeah. I think it's beyond crazy. And they probably would comment, oh, that special was good or that special was whatever. Yeah, yeah, that's true. And they've only watched one little piece. You know what? I actually don't think it's that bad of a thing. And I'm glad that it's happening. You know? Now that you put it that way. Yeah. Yeah, that happens a ton. I mean, there's the fruit joke. Like...

I get tagged in it and it's like twice or two, three, four times removed from me. But the only thing that's good with my, it's acknowledgement that it is me. Like there's, everybody knows it's me, you know, because I mean, it's showing me, but that's a problem with comedy is you can have some stuff that,

go where it's the audio something and someone's not credited like oh yeah not like saying you're crediting like you know there's a slippery but but there's no but no one even knows what this thing is and they don't know what that voice is they don't know what anything is so it's you know they're not like oh but yeah i look most people i probably recognize a ton

mostly now off TikTok. Kids. Kids would be off TikTok. So, I mean, I say all this. It's just, I hope, you know, I hope the war edges doesn't come to that where you're just, you know, you're still making some movies and you're still... Are you still on a 90s movie kick? What did... Yeah, I watched Born. Started watching that. God, I don't know what I watched last night. Shawshank? No. No.

I'd like to make a comment on that. There's a comment right here. Yeah. Apparently this guy does this twice a year. This person says that's only 40. That's Yamanika Saunders. That's only 40,000 a year. Nope. It's like, well, it's only two days out of the year. He's got plenty of time to make some other money the rest of the year. Yeah. I think she's assuming this is all you do. Yeah. Well that, yeah. Yeah. But it's a mistake. Yeah. I mean, you got 363 days left.

That's the Gregorian calendar. Yeah, Yamanique Sanders. I've been around Yamanique forever. Yeah? New York. Well, yeah, I mean, I'm just commenting. I don't know her, but I'm just commenting on the comment itself. I'm just saying there's plenty of time. Well, she got 897 likes, Dusty, and you got 28. Well, that's true. And she had 280 comments. I mean, she's moving the needle. Well, let's see what they're saying. You know, we're really saying the same thing. It's not enough money for us, but...

Well, yeah, people aren't happy about it. Well, but you got, that's what you gotta do. You gotta get, there's a, uh, that's, I don't know if I said on this. It is true. If you get Greg Warren, you gotta give you argue. Greg Warren's got his, uh, we posted his joke about nurse practitioner on my thing. And, uh,

I've seen the little of the comments. Like, I don't go read them because it's just – but, I mean, it's just – I'll get them like you see the notifications. I mean, it's got so many because people – nurse practitioners are arguing or – you know, whatever his joke is about nurse – like, he's not – you know, it's like just trying to be funny. No one's taking nothing seriously. But it's –

It's like you got to get up and go like that. And then they just, I don't think that builds what everybody wants it to build. That's the one thing that I disagree when everybody talks about

getting the clicks and like you need them arguing, you need them mad, you need them all this stuff. I don't think that turns into a positive for the ultimate goal, which is you. It turns a positive into if you're trying to, I guess, ads or you're trying to like, you know, you're just trying to make people come to you get to go say, look, all these people comment on this. Look at all this kind of stuff. But I don't even think people would be buying stuff from the ads. It's it's in a place of like people just want to argue.

I don't think it helps. But I think the thinking is the more engagement that's going on in that post, the more people it gets in front of in the algorithm. Right. So the people that you do want to see it because there's this argument going on in the comments, they're more likely that people are the people you want to see it are going to see. Yeah. But I'm saying with this, what does it matter who sees this?

So this doesn't really matter. You're not, no one's, that guy's not going to make more money. The person that posts it's not going to make more amazes for these like, like what's the, what's the argument for them to be more engagement on it for the ads? Like where's the ads coming from? Like that's what I mean. I don't, it's not like Walmart posted this and then there's engagement. It's, it's just a person posted this and then there's engagement.

That's what I don't understand. So that's why, and I don't think it turned into actual a buyer. Like it doesn't turn into an actual like purchasing a ticket. I mean, if you're constantly getting stuff going, I guess you could get known for that. And then people come to see you because you're the guy that always gets people riled up or they follow you. But I don't,

you know, it's like there's still that's a very far and few between of who can actually really, really make it and be substantial. Does that make sense? Yeah.

I agree. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, shock jocks, they were kind of the original, like people hated Howard Stern, but they listened to him get mad at him. But there's only one Howard Stern. Right. So that's the thing is everything it's like that works because it's Howard Stern. It doesn't work because the general idea of just getting people to hate one person, like most time they're not going to, there's something that they like about him, even though they hate what he's saying.

All right. All right. That doesn't count as a rant. I don't think so. I don't want people counting down. I made a note of it for my Festivus post that I do every year, the airing of grievances. All right, guys. Labor Day just passed us. We came over Nate's. We had a great time. So much fun. I picked up some burgers and hot dogs. All right. He's out of here.

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And here's the best news. Right now, Abada is offering our listeners $5 for just trying Abada by using the code Nate when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play Store and download the free... Ad or whatever. Good stuff, huh? Yeah. Oh, he's back. Never mind. All right. So this week...

Aaron just... Let me give a spade. Aaron has to ask Dusty where... What city Osama bin Laden was killed in in... Dusty said... Chicago? Ben Hyde. Ben Hyde. Ben Hyde? Ben Hyde. No. All right. One of our most...

Most liked episodes of recent was Appliances. Here we go. And that's what we do. We give right back to you. You like that? Here's a remake of it. All we are is movies. Just remaking movies. We've become what we despise. Well, we ended on a cliffhanger. We did. Yeah. Which was you saying, we haven't got to my kitchen yet. I can talk for 30 minutes just about a magic bullet.

Wow. I didn't say that. Yeah. I didn't know we were going to do it so soon. No, I can't. I'm excited. Anybody ever bought an appliance off television? I bought a Magic Bullet. Magic Bullet, one of the best infomercials ever made.

And there was a while there where I would watch infomercials. But it was before I had a smartphone. And you're a kid, you watch TV, and that's all that's on it. It's an hour and all these infomercials. The Magic Bullet one, it had a story. They did a great job demonstrating the product. I don't even know what it is. A Magic Bullet is a blender.

where you put it on top and you push down to blend it and they would go you can make anything in one two three seconds and the infomercial was like this random group of like nine adults and the story was they were badly hung over they were waking up in this kitchen and they're all sitting around this kitchen and the guy just makes them all different stuff with the magic bullet and i'd watch it all the time so i bought one like where would it air

Just some late night channels? Yeah, television late at night or like a Sunday, you know, weird hours on a Sunday. I've seen it multiple times. Do you use it? I haven't used it. This was a long time ago that I had one. I don't even have a blender now. We have 28 minutes left on this. Okay. When we talk 30 minutes. I mean. Well, all right. So, well. That commercial seems kind of crazy. I've never seen that commercial. Dude.

He was like, anybody want nachos? And there's like, there's like a guy that's like the fat guy at the table. He's like, now we're talking. And then there's a guy that's like the booze hound and they make margaritas. And he's like, that's what I'm talking about.

Really? They all had distinct personalities. How do you make nachos? Yeah. Well, you'd blend up the cheese. Yeah. So you put like the cheese and you blend it up. Then you can put the cup from the magic bullet directly in the microwave, heat it up, make fresh, you know, fresh queso. It's probably getting a two variant. What do you mean? Like if you're doing cheese and then fruit and then.

Like it's going to be like cleaning out the cup between each of these. None the less cheese. When you microwave cheese in the thing, you're kind of like, it's, it's a cheese thing now. I know what you mean. It's my cheese blender. This didn't come up in the infomercial, but I think the reality of doing that is yeah. Yeah. There's, there's some caked on cheese there for a long time. There's yeah. It's, you just go, everything's like this spinach of cheese in it and you go,

It all kind of like tastes like cheese a little bit. I think cheese just, you know. Yeah. That nacho guy. I hope they didn't open with him.

I love the stereotypical stuff like that. Can you imagine he does that and then everybody else is like, this tastes like dead gum cheese. Look, there's a woman with a cigarette at the table. Yeah. And these people are like, well, we'll make everybody stuff with them. I mean, it's their ups and downs, their tears, their laughs. And how long does this infomercial last? It's a half an hour infomercial. Wow. And that's a ton of butter, man. Yeah. I think that's cheese. That's cheese.

Is that butter? Rub it for it. They need butter. Don't take it from that lady. I would do. I like, I mean, I look, I like, I like a lot of butter, but that felt like a lot of butter. And then watch you push it. One, two, three. They count very slow. Yeah. One miss. He gets one more quick push in. And look at that. What do we got?

Boom. Oh, that does something. You got a little shaker on there. Oh, and then you put it in the microwave. Pop that in the microwave. That's cheese. That whole top is going to be cheese. Yeah, it's going to be all queso, man. You're going to be like, are they going to make a margarita after this? Like, I don't, you know. Oh, look, they do guac right here. Is that Kevin from The Office? No. What?

Brian Baumgartner? Nate's golf partner? Oh, that guy. Is that the guy that won the nachos? That's what I'm talking about. They're kind of creeping on this girl. There's a lot going on at the table. That's what I'm saying, dude. This was good television.

And it made me want to buy the product. And then these people, they just, some of them are starting, oh, this is making like a milkshake. Like a little chocolate milk. Yeah. For when the spoon's too hard. Yeah. How old are we when you bought this? And he goes, and he puts milk and chocolate in there and he goes, now you microwave it. And you go, what? I think we probably got one when I was in middle school. They just did that again. That's going to taste like cheese. It's going to be a chocolate milk with a little. No, it's a, it's a different cup.

All right, so then... That's the thing, right? When they're doing it, you got a lot of cups. How does that become... Look, that's chocolate mousse in six seconds. That's sauce serve ice cream. How do you even make mousse? What is mousse? Just warm ice cream? I don't know. I don't think it's... No one knows. Like a frothy. It's not that cold. It can't be that cold. He just made it... I don't think it's hot out of the oven. Well, he just made it.

And they go, all right, someone's being normal for a second and making an actual smoothie with this. Yeah. I feel like the Magic Bullet people would be like, well, at least we got one person that's asking for a normal thing. That guy with the coffee cup. That was longer than three seconds. Well, they always say it's all right. So how long does it say that one was? That was a smoothie, a three second gelato or whatever. Yeah. So if you bought this in junior high, your parents were on board with it.

Oh, yeah. They said eight seconds for a fat-free sorbet. Yeah, we got one for the family. Oh, I see. Eggs. You can make tuna. Anything a blender can do. Well, it is a blender, but it's, you know. I had a much more convenient. It's fun. But when you do the cheese one, it's like, do the cheese. I think it probably should give you a label that says cheese stuff. This is your cheese one. This is your cheese one.

He can't be putting chocolate milk in the cheese. But that couple married. Oh, that's I know exactly what line he just said right there. What? Well, he goes, I like the magic bullet because it is the ultimate party machine. That's what he just yelled. Yeah. And now we're making the fun stuff. And the drunks at the table are like, here we go. Now we get into it. Okay. So fruit. Yeah. And then the alcohol comes out and, you know, there's some fights at the table and

And these were made. No liquid. I used mine, yeah. But I just made smoothies. I just made typical stuff. No cheese, dip. So they did not even show him put the alcohol in it. No, he's making queso right now. He's making queso? Yeah. Queso's a big part of this, dude. Oh, why are they pushing queso so hard? Out of all the stuff the magic will... It's the ultimate party machine. He's making quesadillas now. I mean, you can do it all.

As long as you got a microwave. Oh, they forgot. That thing's been microwaved for 40 minutes. That queso. And they just grabbed it out like it's not hot. Look at that. Tell me that doesn't look good. That does look good, though. And that guy's like, give it to me, buddy. I'll take the nachos.

And then, yeah. Yeah. It's good stuff, man. I recommend it. If you want 30 minutes, get a kill 30 minutes, go watch it. That reminds me of that guy. You ever remember Mike and Mike? I could see getting stuck watching that. Yeah. Like I'm, I'm, I'm worried getting stuck watching it now. Just, just kind of like, but Mike and Mike Golick would always be that. He would always be the food guy. Like anytime food was brought up, he's like, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. And it's just like, all right, we get it. We get it.

I'll be honest with you. Anytime you do a sports reference, I'm pretty shocked. Yeah. I don't know why. I thought of it. The last podcast we just did, which was earlier, you had a sports reference and then you go, well, I like to watch football.

And then when the kids and then right there and you're like, well, I watched Mike Mike. I'm like, I just don't see you as a guy watching Mike and Mike. Yeah, I had a time with it. There's the Golik, the Golik family, big, big Nate land fans. Are they? Are they? Yeah. Well, I don't know about Mike Golik specifically, but I know he's got their big Notre Dame family. Yeah. And I've had Jenny Golik is great.

in the family reach out and their fans. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was my song. I was doing the food, the food thing. And then, yeah, it was always like every, every food, right. Oh, you know, I love to eat, you know, was there any talk about the magic bullet?

I'm probably not a fan anymore. It feels like they make that his character. He's like real skinny now. Yeah, he is. Yeah, he looks great. He looks good, yeah. It feels like they make, and they took him off, I guess, and just did Mike Greenberg. And Mike Golick was always the better one of the two. They were a good pairing. He got too skinny. He got too good looking. Backdraft. No, they were a good pairing. I was a big fan of Mike Golick. But it was like, it felt like that he made the food joke one time and they were like, do the food joke every time.

I think he was a big guy. Yeah, he was a big guy. So that's probably why. Does he do Weight Watchers ads? I don't know. He does something. Whatever he's doing, that's working. He looks good now. I'm not backing down. I liked him. I thought he was the guy who plays on the Larry David show, Curb Your Enthusiasm. Oh, Jeff Garland. Yeah, I thought they were the same person. They do look very similar. Mm-hmm.

Okay. Yeah, that surprised me too, Dusty. I didn't know you listened to Mike. Yeah, I mean, he's had a few references where you're like, what? He knows, you're a big Tua guy, aren't you? Yeah, Tua, yeah. From Alabama? Don't you know how to say his last name? Go ahead and take a stab at that last name. Tua Tungavailoa, I think is how you say it. Tungavailoa. Yeah, I was always impressed when you knew how to say his last name. There's like three people in the world that know how to say it.

Thankfully, the first name's unique enough. You don't really need to say the last name that often. But it felt like the sportscasters were always like, nah, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do the last name. Naga. I watched Office Space 2 the other day and he goes, Naga, Naga, not going to work here anymore. Yeah.

That's a great movie. Some of the other big infomercial appliances, George Foreman grill. I love a George. I don't have one now, but I used to, and I love what's so great. You find Lachlan Patterson's joke about it. Have we showed his joke on George Foreman grill? I don't think so. See if you can play Lachlan Patterson's George Foreman grill.

What was great about it? I mean, it's not nothing you can't just do on a pod. Yeah. It's a four-minute bit. You want to listen to it? Just do some of it at the beginning. He's coming out with me towards the end of the year. I like him a lot. I worked with him one time at Zanies. A lot of great athletes go on to do other things that are wonderful, and some go on to become terrible to human beings. I think you all know who I'm talking about. George Foreman. Okay.

Heavyweight champion of the world. I think I'm ready to design a grill. It's clear that he didn't ask for any help either. It's clear he's pretty much on his own on that grill. Just kind of walked in there. I got an idea for a grill. I just thought about it just a second ago. I'm going to put it on an angle. I think that's all we need to do. And that's it. Let's do it. Nobody helped him, really? Nobody?

Nobody stood up to George Foreman and said, "Hey George, how about putting an on and off switch on your grill?" Sometimes these things have switches. Just an idea. Here at the grill factory, we like to put switches on most of our grills. Nope, don't need it. This grill, you just plug it in and it's on. Make it take a couple hours to cool down while I'm thinking about it.

Let's go. Let's get them in a box. Let's get them on the shelves. Why are we still talking about this? I don't know. Nobody, nobody was like, hey man. Hey George, love this grill. Great idea. Grease drips off. I get it. What do you think about a thermostat with a range of different temperatures for different foods? Not one temperature is all you're going to need on this grill. 500 degrees. Come to think of it, make it hot on the outside too, fellas. Yeah.

Make the whole thing really hot. Yeah, there you go. It's, yeah, I'm always a big fan of that joke. That is funny. Very funny. Because it's just, it doesn't make, I mean, there's nothing. He goes on, you know, it's like there's no...

He goes, how to clean it? Can we take the trays off to clean it? He goes, no, no, no. Make it where you have to put the whole thing in the sink. Because you have to put the whole. Oh, yeah. There's no way. I didn't get a lot of that because I've never had a George Foreman grill. At that time, everybody, I felt like everybody had a George Foreman. Probably when that joke was out. Yeah. So the selling point was it's at an angle so that the fat drips off and it's somehow healthier to eat. Okay. Okay. And you had a, you had a.

tray to collect it. And that's another thing that he says in the joke was, and then make sure the tray doesn't attach to it. So you lose it immediately. Yeah. It's just gone. You know, someone told me that that grill was invented and they offered it. They were going to offer it to Hulk Hogan. They called him. His agent missed the call.

And then they called George Foreman. And that George Foreman probably made millions. Who do you think's next on that list? Yeah. If George Foreman didn't answer the grill, is this a Dustin diamond grill or something? Yeah, maybe probably a vendor. You know, I don't know if you could have went to Mike Tyson at the time.

Yeah. Evander Holyfield seems like too long of a name. Holy. Yeah, that's the time. Well, George Foreman's not. I mean, it's easy. It's an easy name. I mean, there's more syllables in Evander as there is George Foreman. Maybe it's the Evander grill. That's not bad. Or they just do their own thing. I had buddies in college that had a grilled cheese business. Yeah. A late night grilled cheese delivery business, which is just cash cow in college. Yeah. And they had about.

10 of these George Foreman grills just lined up in rotation. Just put a bop, bop, bop. It's fun. Wow. And you can just order as many as you want? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And what did you just call and-

They had, yeah, I think you'd go by or call and, you know, like 2, 3 a.m. they'd bring by these takeout trays of grilled cheese sandwiches. They had supreme ones with like bacon. It was a good time. Health department shut it down. Well, you know, it was very under the table. Yeah. Did they ever have like a press? That's what the George Foreman is. Yeah, it was one of... You've never even seen a George Foreman? No. You've never even seen...

I don't think so. You're not even getting the idea. You've seen like a version of that where it's like a- Do the white, with the, see if you can find the white one. Yeah, like the traditional- I mean, this would have been like- Yeah, that one. Yeah, like this one. Like that's what it looks like. Lean, mean, fat grilling machine. That's right. Yeah. You've never even seen that? Like on someone's counter? I don't think so. Yeah.

If I have, I wasn't paying attention to it. I think that's worse than my Shawshank Redemption. I think it's very close, actually, to know that you've never even encountered a George Foreman grill. Yeah, it's true. At one point, I think every family member I had had one. Oh, yeah. I don't know what to do. Apologize. Even a single guy, too? They're made for you. Yeah.

Yeah, so you just put them in and then close it down. It's almost like a panini press. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it works the same way. All right. Have you even heard the name, like George Foreman Grill even? Yeah, I've heard of it a lot. I mean, that's why I mentioned it as one of the best selling. I forgot you brought it up. I've just never owned one. You've never even heard these words? My bad, dude. Yeah, I think you could do a poll to go what's worse.

Me not seeing Shawshank. Never having seen the number one fan rated movie of all time on IMDb. Yeah. And a movie that everyone wants you to watch and you won't. And it's so good. And Brian not even knowing what a George Foreman girl looks like. Yeah.

Yeah. Never seen George Foreman. I think it's close. I think, yeah. I mean, knowing your ages, too, it's like there's no reason why you've not encountered these things. Like, if you were, like, if you were, you know, 18, like, yeah, the George Foreman grill has kind of been out of circulation. But it's like you were around when this thing was peak popular. Well, he might have been a little bit outside. I don't know if they were targeting breakfast baits when the George Foreman came out.

I've probably been to people's houses who had one, but they weren't using it when I was there. But we never had one. Did you cover that Muhammad Ali-George Foreman fight? The rumble in the jungle? Yeah. The thrill... Wait. Thriller in Manila? Which one was it? It was Spinks. I think the Thriller in Manila was Spinks. I think that's Egypt. The mouths and the powers. What is Egypt? I think Spinks. Spinks. Yeah.

I do remember George Foreman fighting his second time around, his resurgence, when he became heavyweight champion again. Yeah, I remember that. It's a sphinx. S-P-H. I remember George Foreman fighting because he wouldn't sit down. He fought one when he was older, and his thing was he wouldn't sit down when he went to the corner because he was hanging and getting back up to sit down. Wow.

There was a movie that just came out about him. I didn't see it. I wish I had. Maybe I don't know what that grill looked like. Leanne Morgan. That's a big part of the movie. Leanne Morgan's daughter worked on the movie. Oh, really? World Heavyweight Champion. And then at the end, you just see him grilling. I think it is a part of it. I saw in the trailer. Yeah. He's probably more money there. Yeah, I think he did.

They say Dr. Dre made more money off Beats headphones than he ever did music. And it's like not even close. 50 cent vitamin water. It's like not even close compared to what he made music. I'm Sir George Foreman. I bet it's, I bet a factor of 10. That's my guess. Yeah. And I'll look it up now. Yeah. Well, that's why Hulk Hogan, I mean, what I heard about Hulk Hogan, like him missing that call was like devastating. It's hard to believe that if they really wanted him dead,

They wouldn't just wait for him to call him back. I think they got the right person. All the stuff that came out about Hulk Hogan, too. He had some stuff come out. So then that would be... George Foreman has kind of settled under the radar of nothing is really going around. Is he... Oh, they paid him $138 million lump sum to use his name in per...

Estimates are you earned in excess of $200 million on the grill. True? He said, much more. There were months I was being paid $8 million a month. Wow. Just to use his name. I mean, they were so hot at one time. I mean, that's why it is shocking that you never encountered it. It's like the magic bullet of Gen X. What's in perpetuity mean? What does that mean? Forever. Forever, yeah. Yeah. Came at $8 million a month. Yeah, see, there's Hulk Hogan at the bottom. There must be some mention of that. Yeah, I saw one where it said Hogan made a mistake.

In the article. He said he chose to endorse a meatball maker over it. The Hulk Hogan meatball maker does sound fun. Yeah. Yeah, I wonder, can you click on it? Is that going to be a whole thing? It's going to be. What was the meatball maker that he was going to do? They did not. He met with his agent, was given three options for products to endorse. A grill, a meatball maker, and a blender.

Of all of those. What if he goes, it becomes George Foreman grill and then it becomes the magic bullet. And then he goes, he goes, I'll be honest. I think meatball Hulkamania meatball maker agent goes, I got this meatball maker pounds. The meatballs when you clench arm muscles and press fists together. Well, that's fantastic. I want the Hulkamania meatball maker. That's what it was called. Oh no.

And then he passed on the forming room. Yeah, because people are just dying to make meatballs. Does it say what the blender is by any chance? No, not that I saw. Okay. It would be funny if it was the magic bullet. Yeah. By Magic Johnson. It's like his, it's his thing. Oh, that's his other client? Yeah. Oh man, that would have been so funny. I'll do the meatball maker. It just doesn't even sound fun. No.

If you could have the Nate Bargetzi whatever. Appliance? Do you know what it would be? It doesn't have to be an appliance. A meatball maker? That's an appliance episode, though. Maybe it should be an appliance. You're right. Maybe we should dial it in. Yeah. I don't know. I've already got an Aaron Weber grill. I can't do that. Yeah, Weber grill. Yeah. Well, you can't do the Weber grill. That's what I'm saying. I can't. So what else would you do? I don't know. A bread maker, maybe? Crock pot? Yeah.

It would have to be Aaron. It couldn't be Weber because then it would just sound like the Weber. Right. It could be Crockpot, something slow, hard to grab a hold of. Yeah. Aaron Air Fryer. So I guess Crock is a brand. Oh. I think I thought Brian quit. It's a slow cooker. A slow cooker is the, and then a Crockpot is a brand. But it's like Kleenex. Yes. Yeah.

Yes. What about Viore? Oh, man. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Viore.

it at viore.com slash Nate. I'm wearing all Viore today. We all love our Viore. You're wearing Viore here. I'm not wearing any right now. I wish I was, you know what I mean? I don't have it on and I'm not as comfortable as I'd like to be. I'll tell you, I bought my- You have that shirt on underneath that shirt. That one from the Cuban shirt. It doesn't look like he's getting to both. I just keep layering them. And, uh,

It's the same undershirt as the other shirt. How big is that undershirt? What's that? How big is the undershirt? What do you mean?

It just feels. I mean, it's a tight shirt. Does it not feel full? Well, I went from a loose shirt to a tighter shirt. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you're hitting all the spots. Yeah. You know, this is why the guy wouldn't let me get a medium. But we love our Viore. And I bought, I went online. I didn't tell my wife. My apologies to Michigan State. Somebody sent me this long message that you are horribly wrong about an

And then told me they have great research programs and everything. Well, it's just a robbery, right? No, we don't care enough about them to really. It was an ad read. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was an ad read where he blasted you. Yeah. But I mean, why don't you care? They're doing better than Notre Dame in sports, right? Now? I mean, for the past little bit. In what way?

I mean, Notre Dame gets to the... No, football doesn't even close. Well, y'all get to the championship because you don't join a league. You play like Cincinnati 15 times. You're better than this, dude. This is like a guy at a bar who knows... You don't even believe what you're saying right now. Come on, dude. You're better. Aaron just got home from... The Michigan State's doing... They do... They're fine. They're not fine. The Michigan State's legit. I mean, they won the basketball. They won a championship a few times. They're a real college. I'm not knocking them.

Aaron just got over a big weekend watching Notre Dame play a powerhouse, right? That's right. We play Tennessee state, you know? Yeah. They're a big, big time program. Eddie George. That's true. Yes. All right. Uh, some other infomercial items, very popular. Vegomatic, uh,

This is back in my day. Veg-o-matic. It slices, it dices. No one? I think I remember that. I remember that term. Slices it dices. There was a lot of... Gallagher had a... Dude, it looks like a foreman grill with just the cuts things instead of cooking them. Oh. It does. Gallagher had a sledge-o-matic. That was one of his props. Dan Aykroyd was hanging out live. Did the super bass-o-matic 76. There was a lot of...

It's been awesome. The Ginzu steak knives. Oh, I remember that. Yeah. What's the other? There's some knives you could sell. They were cutting coins. Those are Cutco knives. Cutco knives. I had a bunch of friends that sold Cutco knives. One of them, a Ginzu, I think, could cut through a shoe. Yeah, they were cutting coins, I thought. Yeah, maybe. That's too much. I mean, that's a lot. Yeah, if you cut a coin, that's sharp. Yeah. That's a strong sword. Yeah. Yeah.

I feel like they were cutting nickels or something. I think. I don't know. I mean, if it's a nickel, then okay. But we're not talking quarters of dimes here. All right. The Jack LaLanne power juicer. The Slap Chop. Slap Chop was big. I remember the Slap Chop. I don't remember the Slap Chop.

It was the ShamWow guy. Remember the ShamWow guy? Oh, yeah. He'd just slap chop, and you literally just chop. You put something in it, and you go, ka-ka, and just chop it like that. That guy was- Disappeared, too, huh? Yeah. He did a movie, though. He's an actor. What movie? Yeah. I forget. He got in a mug shot. Oh, jeez. I didn't want to pull that. Vince Offer is his name. Yeah. He got in-

I thought he got canceled or I'd say Wikipedia. Here we go. He got in trouble. Offering money.

They got to get paid. The Wikipedia. I'll give them money. I'll give them money. I use them every week. I know. I've talked about it before. I've given them money, Wikipedia money. I do it, but that thing doesn't go away. We need more. Unless you... I'll give you the money if you promise that goes away. Yeah, that should be the prize.

Yeah. Does it go away? How'd you make it go away? Does it go, do they always come back? Yeah. I said, I said in a week, it said take a week off from bugging me. And then a week later it'll come back. Oh yeah. I mean, they should just say, if you get this, we won't have this on here. And then I would be like, okay, and here's $5 or a dollar. See you later. Yeah. Yeah. I would pay for it to stop asking me. Cause I feel like they're always asking. This guy's name was offer. Shalami.

And he changed his name to Vince Offer. Vince Offer sounds like a salesman. I got something to offer you. Exactly. Sounds like he's selling to offer shalami. Yeah. He directed and appeared in the underground comedy movie, which was met with extremely negative reviews. He's an Adam Sandler's movie. Jack and Jill. Oh, wow. He appeared as himself in the movie. They call him the ShamWow guy. The ShamWow commercial. He did get in trouble, though.

Yeah, he had some legal problems. Yeah. For sure. I mean, there's a whole legal issues section. Okay. Yeah, stuff we don't, yeah. He got a little after it. And then he's doing all right now. But he says the arrest saved his life. If anybody, I saw the age. Don't look. Did you see the age? I just saw. Yeah. How old do you think he is? 53. Pretty good. 59. 59. Yeah. It's an offer.

That can't be him right now, though. Well, he's got such a, I mean, he was everywhere, dude. He was the guy. ShamWow commercials were great. Yeah. He was really, and then Billy Mays. Billy Mays was the greatest. The Flex Seal guy.

That guy's still, that Flex Seal, they're riding a boat. It's just made of Flex Seal. Yeah. The whole boat is Flex Seal. Yeah, I wouldn't trust it, but. I don't understand. Yeah, it doesn't make sense to me. I mean, at first it was like, all right, we're covering the whole of the boat. He's like, we're going to take the screen door. Well, yeah, it was like that stuff. Yeah. But now he's just in a Flex Seal boat.

Oh. Like, I'm pretty sure it's just the whole thing is the, like, look up Flexil boat and see if, I think the whole boat is the Flexil. Did he die? Should I look this up before we keep? Well, I see one, or maybe it's, yeah. Is it that black tape? Yeah. I swear, dude, it's spread out to be the whole boat. See that boat? The whole boat's held together. See the whole boat keep going away, right? Whoa. Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. That bottom. Yep. The whole thing's black. I think it's just a black boat. But your thing is black. It's not. Why would he be driving that? And then if his thing is black tape and he's like, oh, this one. If you're like, hey, man, what's up with that? He's like, I'm just this is the whole thing is a boat. Super wide duct tape is out now.

Yeah. So I think this is a whole boat. Billy Mays died. He did die. Phil Swift is keeping his legacy alive. He makes an entire boat.

out of this okay i'm gonna wait we're gonna see it yeah because it comes and i mean he's just cruising he's cheesing with that smile no more that you put that on there he does he's sitting on a way that looks bad don't use a lot of tape all sloppily use it neatly you tape up a window tape up a box it does look better go to the post office yeah we got a book so he got a boat frame look at that nate you were right man he's got a boat frame wow he got a flight seal boat

That's what I'm talking about, man. Yeah. And he's crazy. He's got a little speed too. I mean, there's no way. Like, I mean, out of the boat frame, like the whole, you want to go, you gotta be like, he gets up out of that. It's just, his shoes are soaked. Yeah.

all that stuff. But yeah, I mean, they went as far as first, they'd be like, look at this. We've got a whole, this boat. I'll just put this on there. And you're like, okay. And then now he's just like, I'm just on the, I'm on the seas. I'm going out. You can see, you see, uh, that deep sea fishing. You just see him out there. Boat of tape. Yeah. Just a boat. Yeah. Why would you even buy a boat? Yeah.

Just buy a frame and then buy. Yeah. Frames gotta be the cheapest. And then frames, what? 20, 30 bucks. And then the tape 1999. You'll need a, you'll need a better tape. Yeah. You're probably right. And a motor couple rolls. Yeah. And he's got a motor attached to this and it's, I mean, he's flying. That's probably all fake. Yeah.

I don't know. You just put a tarp over a boat. The jump, the slow motion jump is crazy at the end there. It's like they're telling you to build a boat out of this. Yeah. I think he's just trying to demonstrate how good it is. But with the slow motion jump, they're like, go ahead and do this. Go ahead and build this boat. You can. Yeah. Don't mess around. Build this boat.

You got an old screen door at home. Yeah. Like that was the old day. Like, I mean, that's how much he's come along. Like, it's like, all right, the boat split in half. I think that when they cut the boat in half. Right. And then he puts the tape down the middle. All this. I'm kind of like, you're like, okay. And then straight up just builds a speedboat. Yeah.

not even that kind of boat that's like a one of those fishing boats yeah like he builds you know yeah he built a the real deal he's doing jumps yeah he's got his little headset he's still talking he jumped the shark this guy can do it all he's a captain he's a he is the shark i don't know if he could jump dude he's you make a boat it's he's just like yeah we got a product that's

And by the way, I've never heard anybody on earth use it. Never seen it in person. Me either. Never seen, you know, it's still duct tape. Well, I'm not really in situations where a boat gets cut in half that often. I feel like I've used some Flex Seal for something, but I don't remember what it was. Do you feel like there's actually a disservice? They demonstrate its effectiveness with these scenarios you will never use in real life. I'll never have to tape a boat back together in half.

Right. Oh, but I, but I might need tape to, you know, fix a chair or something. What if it goes over words like duct tape? You're like, yeah, I could see it not working because you think,

I mean, I don't need the tape to be that strong. Yes. Like, I'm not going to not have this thing never give off the, you know. Like putting a box together, like was one of the demonstrations. It's like, I don't need flex seal. No. Regular tape is working great for a box. Yeah. And what do you got in that box? But then, yeah, but then that guy's like, what if the box becomes the flex seal? Yeah. I might want to use this box later for a boat. Yeah. You know, you never know.

I might not have a boat frame, but I guess the boats, the, the, the box will not break is what it's saying. Yeah. Right. You can load it up. It's like, it's just not going to break. How do you know? Cause I've made a boat out of it. Yeah. That's what he probably says a lot. I don't know. Yeah. You ever made a boat out of, you ever made a boat out of tape? Yeah. Duct tape, please.

you think he has any duct tape at his house he just comes right in what is this all about here i don't know he's getting he's having fun though this guy seems to really like his job yeah he likes he believes what he does i like that uh that's flex glue all right anyway let's see if y'all have any of these appliances uh electric popcorn maker

Yeah. Just a popcorn maker? No, I feel like a pan. Yeah. Electric toothbrush? I do. Or a dip?

Yeah. I know. I don't know. It's Sonic, maybe Sonic something. I've never, I've never had one. Oh, they tell you. What's it feel like? Uh, it's like a toothbrush, like the dinner, you know, when they do that little spinning thing. I don't like that. Uh, it's not that it's not just like that. It's better. But they tell you to use that over brushing your teeth. Yeah.

They said use that over a regular toothbrush. A vibrating one? Yeah. Electric one. That's how they would call it. I can't have another. I don't know if I'd go. Yeah. The dentist would know what he'd say. You may get one of those vibrating toothbrushes. I ain't doing that. And he goes, well, I won't worry about it, sir. You only have...

About 18 left. So he goes, I went to the doctor the other day and he told me to get a vibrating toothbrush. You're like, you mean the dentist? He goes, no, the doctor. I was at the doctor's. I got the tooth doctor. He goes, get one of those dead gum vibrating toothbrush. I have so many electronic devices as a part of my every day.

I can't have... Where does it stop? The toothbrush is now electric too? What else is going to be electric? Hey, this has been around for maybe 70 years. I've resisted. I actually had that as a kid. You had an electronic toothbrush? Yeah. What, did it light up? You don't even know how to... Yeah, I feel like you don't even know how to describe it.

You sound like his age talking about this. I know what it does. It vibrates. That's what an electronic toothbrush... What else does it do? When you charge it, it has one... The one I have has like a glass. Why do you say it's an electronic toothbrush? Electric toothbrush. Oh, I must have been saying electronic. Like it's going to light up. Yeah, yeah. Okay. You just set it in the thing and it charges. And I think that kind of spins. It can spin, right? So it's not just vibrating. It's spinning too. Yeah, it does a little spin circle and then it vibrates.

Okay. But the dentists say it's better on your gums. It's because you're not, you know, I would brush my teeth so hard. Yeah. I think you would. I think you do too. Why do you think that? I don't think you can stop. You know, it's like you're. Bull in a china shop? Yeah. My brain thinks it's a fork. No, like bull in a china shop. Like that. I don't think you're going to, you're going to, not a clutch. You're just. I'm not gentle is what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

There's some recreational appliances. Hot tub? Anybody got a hot tub? A hot tub and an appliance? I don't know if that's an appliance. Is a pool table an appliance? Yeah, I don't know. A hot tub's not an appliance. I don't know. Let's call it a recreational appliance.

They phoning it in over here. Who has these windows? Windows. Electronic windows. Electronic window. You go tell me those vibrating windows. I went over to the doctor at Home Depot and he told me get one of those electric windows. What about a bike? Electric e-bike? Electric e-bike. Yeah. What about that?

Oh, that was so good. I think that I don't even have a, are you sure that I have maybe in here? Yeah. Sure. That I have folded it up. Sorry about that.

I figured you'd already done that. Just stacking papers over here, dude. Well, I got to tell you, you know what time of year it is? Summer. We have enjoyed being outside with longer days to ride our e-bike, but summer's winding down. Isn't that a bummer? Electric e-bikes are gearing up for an endless summer. Let's keep it going. Let's hop on the Electric XP 3.0, the most popular e-bike ever.

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let's join hitters. But I think you're in the kitchen and I think once you leave the kitchen, you think, well, it's an iron, but then you think laundry, those are applied. You don't washer and dryer. Those are true. Right. Yeah. And the steamers typically going to be in the laundry room. Yeah. But that's its own thing. It doesn't get to be with the,

Washing jars, too, it's a big thing. I think they're playing in different leagues. I think they're very big. So I think when you think appliances, it's a giant thing. I think in the lows, they'll have a small appliances section. Yeah. So maybe we should just classify it. Small appliances. Yeah. So there's a vision. This episode should have been all small appliances.

and not appliances episode two. That's true. We should, well, we can still change it. Yeah. Yeah. We'll see. Yeah, we'll see. It was really just a joke. I mean, it didn't land and then it felt like he got serious. He got taken very seriously. It was too good of a point. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Rice cooker.

rice cooker i got a instapot that's what we put the rice in right i have one never used it couldn't figure out how to set it up gave up i love it got mad put it back in the box put it in the closet i only use it for rice but it's really great for that that's what everybody says you put it in zero work you just push a button and it works but i you know i can't figure it out you didn't like it didn't know i like the idea of it yeah we got one for as a wedding present was on our registry somebody got us one and i can't figure it out

I give up real quick. I get mad when I can't figure out a rice pot. Yeah. That's, I feel bad about myself. Yeah. You know, you're gonna make a good father one day. You're already doing this stuff. Like a father, a father gets mad. Yeah. He goes, then put it away. We're not getting rice. We don't care about like rice in this house. Yeah. Dusty, do you have, what if his Chinese brother comes over? Yeah. I want some rice. Exactly.

What are you going to do? Make the old fashioned one? Have Lucy do it? Probably. That's the old fashioned one. That is the old fashioned one. All right. Do you have a diaper genie? I don't know what that is, but I don't think so. How do you, how does Hannah dispose of the diapers? We have, well, maybe we do have that actually. Yeah. Now I'm seeing, I don't think it's that name brand, but we have a,

Yeah, a cylinder container with a lid and you stuff it down in there and it kind of sucks it up into a plastic bag. Yeah, I think we had one. Dusty uses the word cylindrical and nobody bats an eye. Did he?

He said cylinder. He said cylinder, but he meant cylindrical. Yeah, but cylinder sounds... I still... I mean, I don't care for any of it, but it's... Cylinder's a little more... That's a good guy. That's a... That's a shape. That's a trailer park guy that came into a little money. Yeah. It says cylinder now. Yeah. Because what are you doing cylinder for? It's like a big beer can. There you go. There you go. A tall boy. But yeah, I don't think it's called a diaper genie, but...

We got that. Yeah. Yeah. But that would be an appliance, right? See, I wouldn't call that an appliance. That's like a trash can. You don't call a trash can an appliance. Yeah, because there's no electronics to it. You call it a trash can appliance? If it's an electric trash can? Yeah, vibrating. I think it's got to have some kind of moving part. Doesn't have to be electric. Mechanical parts to it. Or does it? I don't think so. Does an appliance have to be electric? Can you name one that's not electric? Coffee grinder? A stove? Yeah.

Stove's electric. Well, if you got gas. Oh, well, it's got to be powered by something. Now, people said, I think last episode you talked about how that thing underneath a grill. You don't count it as an appliance, though. I don't know if a grill counts. Yeah, I don't think I would count a grill. A grill is a grill. You think grill's an appliance? I would say no. George Foreman grill is. George Foreman grill. All right. You know all about them. Yeah, I was talking about the proving drawer at the bottom of the...

Yeah, apparently people said that's for keeping food warm. Wait, that's what you said. Yeah, I had heard that. I've never used it for that purpose, but I heard that. I guess it's only if it's gas grills, they said. If it's electric, that's not the case. Oh, okay. So it's just storage if it's electric. I guess. Okay. But they kept it because people like it. But do you think in old days when indoor plumbing first happened, a toilet was an appliance? No.

I think it was a luxury item. Yeah. Does that have anything to do with what's an appliance and what's just... I don't think it's an appliance. I don't think it is either. I think it's just a fixture in the house. It's furniture. Yeah. It's furniture. A toilet's like a chair. Right. It's got to be more than furniture. I don't think you go to the furniture shop and they're like...

I see a toilet section. Excuse me. Ashley furniture. I'd like to head over to your toilet section. They might have them. Did you ever use a toilet with the padded seats? Yeah. I don't care. I don't care for it. I don't like it either. I always do. You like it? I didn't mind it. It's probably nice to if it's your own home. It's like a boat. Yeah. If you're if somebody else has got one. Great. Yeah. But if you got to deal with the upkeep.

I bet it's not fun. What's the upkeep? Yeah, what's going on? I mean, I imagine it's... I mean, you got to wait a couple days for it to get back to form. Memory foam. You got to fluff it. It's a dead gum thingy. It's all bent out of shape. Lucy's like, and?

Yeah. I know who's been in here. Told you to use the other bathroom. It's got an air pump. It's like your shoes. You got to pump it back up. I'm not familiar with it. You don't know what I'm talking about? I don't know what the upkeep is. I just meant cleaning. Like, you don't tell me that's not going to be a little more complicated.

Well, like that. Like what is going on? That's so much more complicated than, or, you know, stuff like that. Yeah, like a towel. I wouldn't use that at all. Some of those are pretty big, though. That wouldn't be...

That's pretty high up to be like, that's brutal, dude. I mean, that's... You're like, what is that? Like, that's crazy. Your legs are dangling. That's a good two feet before you even get to where it needs to go. I mean, that's...

that's a plop yeah that's that's like you gotta that one's when you bring in your backpack and you go i got mine because you got toilet because you use your toilet i got my own seat don't worry about it and you pull out your own toilet i'm talking about like this one see it's like plush yeah yeah now i imagine cleaning it it's gonna be a little more complicated a little like it's it's different just wipe it down what are you trying to do why doesn't everyone have these

I mean, I think people could feel like they feel gross because it's like you're... Yeah, but I mean...

But I don't- The feeling more than the actual cleaners. Yeah, I don't really want to get that comfortable in there. I just want to do what I'm there to do and get on out. You probably have a bidet, I'm guessing. Well, I'd like to get a bidet. I've been thinking about it. You do like garden hose right now? Yeah. I was reading about toilet paper. Out in his garden? Yeah. What's wrong with toilet paper? What do you do with- There's some chemicals in there. Yeah.

You absorb it. If we went to your house right now, we see a garden hose coming through the window. Windows never shut all the way. It goes under your bed. It goes in the toilet. I got my grounding cord coming out. I got a lot coming in and out. A lot coming in and out. Yeah. How many doors do you think you have actually closed?

Well, you know, that is funny. In the trailer, you know, we had the corded phone and everybody, people would come over and use the phone, but had a real long cord. So they would go outside to get their own, to get their own privacy. The door closed. It's like, you know, it's just got a little gap at the bottom. Mm-hmm.

Different times, man. People come over to use your landline. Yeah. That's insane. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because you had them. Yeah. Because we had one and a lot of people didn't. So they'd be like, can I borrow your phone? So are you just fielding calls from people at the park all the time? I don't. I was a kid, so I wasn't doing it. My mom might have been doing it. Yeah.

I remember getting my first caller ID box. Was that, that'd be an appliance? No. And, uh, out of all the ones, that's when we go, all right, I'll let that one go.

You remember that, though? The caller ID box where you had the... And it's like the first time somebody called, you knew who it was? I would, yeah. My mom still has a landline and an answer machine, and it shows you who's calling. What's her voice... What's her answer machine message sound like? About what you'd imagine. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, old lady. Yeah.

This is the Bates residence. We can't come to the phone right now. My mom just remade hers and it goes, I'm busy. You know what to do? And I'm like, that's not even who my mom is. Yeah. I don't know why she's doing that. That's her voice. Maybe she's being funny. Maybe. I'm busy. You know what to do? I think, yeah, it's starting to be, you don't even, you just let it go to the automatic thing.

Yeah. I don't think people even do it anymore. Yeah. These are the reviews on this toilet seat discolors after some time in the shape of your body outline. It looks like an ink stain, kind of bluish gray color. Can't be cleaned with anything. Even rubbing alcohol padding, almost useless. I'm 160 pounds and the padding is so squished. You might as well be sitting on a regular toilet seat.

Yeah, that was written by the dude. Yeah. That's his name. Yeah. 160 pounds. Sure did. Yeah, 160 pounds. Because it's the right side of that. Whoa. Upper body's 160. That's all that's getting put on there. I'm going to look for a higher quality pad. The one like I had before lasted years. All right. We did it. Ow.

You alright? Yeah, I'm good. I think we're good. That was fun.

So this September 13th. I don't know where I'm at. I'm at Corn Furry event, but then I've got a Corn Furry event here in Nashville for golf. If you're a golf fan, Corn Furry event. September 13th. You're going to be this weekend. I'll be in West Virginia, Atlantic City, Baltimore, Baltimore. And then boy, I mean, we're it's a big, big tour. Big, big tour.

Doing a lot of, a lot of shows this fall. And I'm excited about a lot of cool places. And I hope you guys come out. That's awesome, man. September 23rd, I'm at the Astra Theater in Jasper, Indiana. Nice. September 30th, the Murphy Theater in Wilmington, Ohio.

Doing that with replacing Joe Zimmerman. Apparently he's on the road with you. So I'm getting to fill in for him. All right. October 1st, Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia. Oh, awesome. Oh, yeah. I got bumped to the afternoon show at 430. The Eagles games at one. So go to the Eagles game and drop on over to Helium to see me. All right. Yeah.

Tonight. Wait, what time was your show going to be? It was originally at 7 o'clock show, I think. Oh. And then I got bumped, so now I'm doing 4. Oh, because it was a 7 o'clock show. Yeah. There's a 7 o'clock game. A 1 p.m. game. Now, there was, yeah, I had this, there's a 1 p.m. game. I had a 7 o'clock show, but then another comic bumped me. Oh. So now I'm doing the afternoon show. I thought you were getting bumped for the game.

In a way, I am. But I'm saying, go to the game, then come to my show. Why didn't you do a show after the 7 p.m. show? Do like a 10 p.m. show. I think the Bates fans. I doubt it. Yeah, I think we all know how to answer that. I don't even know how to answer that. Where do I start? I don't think they've seen 10 o'clock. I'm in the middle. I think they're going to like a 4.30 show, to be honest. 4.30 is great. I hope you're right. 4.30, yeah. Dinner and a show. Yeah.

I'm in the middle of a Texas run right now. I'm down in Texas, man. Isn't that fun? Tonight, I'm at the Addison Improv in Dallas, Texas. That's a lot of fun. Tomorrow, I'm swinging on down to Houston, Texas. I'm at the Houston Improv. All right. Another great day. And then all weekend, I'm at the San Antonio LOL Comedy Club in San Antonio, Texas. I love San Antonio. If you're in Texas, come on out. It's going to be a fun weekend. That's a fun run. Thanks, man. Yeah.

I'm going to be in, I don't know how to pronounce it. Uh, some people say Spokane. Some people say Spokane. Uh, Spokane. Spokane. Yeah. Maybe, maybe, and maybe that's just me that says that. Yeah. Uh, but I'll be there. Spokane, Spokane, Spokane, Washington all weekend, uh, at the Spokane comedy club. Yeah. That's a great club. It's going to be great. All right. Yeah. All right. We did it. Uh,

We will see you next week. As always, we love you. I hope you have a great week. And yeah, see you next week. Bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.