212: #212 New Jersey featuring Julian McCullough
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Hello, folks, and hey, Bear. I'm Brian Bates. As always, I'm here with Dusty Slay. All right. Aaron Weber. All right. And sitting in with us today, the one and only Julian McCullough. All right. All right. That's what I'm talking about. Welcome back, buddy. Good to see you, man. Good to see you. Welcome back. This is my first time. It's been too long. You've done it before. You're confusing this with us hanging out. We've hung out a lot.

And we've talked into microphones in my hotel room. Maybe that's true. If you've been to a Nate show in the last year, most likely you've seen Jules. Yeah, I've got to host the Be Funny Tour. Anyway, it was great. Nate, they're there to see Nate.

So you do a really great job with it. If you've seen Nate shows, they're so big. They're so crazy. It's like an impossible job hosting a show like that. But Julian really does a good job. If you've been there and you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. You kind of corral them. He has 20,000 people sitting there. They don't know what's going on. And then you go up there and you go, hey, we got a show.

And this is how it's going to work. Yeah. And it would be weird if they were there to see the host. It would be weird. But it would be nice. Yeah. No, it's... Of course, that was kind of the joke I was making. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If they were there to see the host, then you'd be doing those shows. Yeah, that's true. You know? But the...

I appreciate that, Aaron. It's weird to open a show with compliments. Well, this is Nate land, not hate land. That's true. Come on. Come on, dude. This is a safe space. This thing just caught fire. No, I learned how to host in like a gladiator pit, basically. I learned at the Stress Factory Comedy Club in New Brunswick, New Jersey, which is a North Jersey...

Comedy club. In a basement, about 375 people. We would sell 400. And it was my job to seat the room and convince all these, like, middle-aged Italian dudes on dates that they needed to sit in this terrible seat. And then I would go up in the T-shirt from the club and host the show. Wow.

And so you learn how to take command of a room like that. And it was crazy in there. Yeah. Talk about baptism by fire. Yeah, truly. I mean, that's how I learned how to do comedy. I had to unlearn a lot of bad habits. Yeah.

Didn't you tell me, though, the first time you did it, you're like, I don't want to come back. The first time I ever did comedy ever was a sold-out Friday night show at this room. I'd never held a microphone before. Who was the headliner? Thea Vidal.

I don't know if you guys remember Thea Vidal. I know Gore Vidal. Is that like him? Thea Vidal was like a... She was big in the 90s? Yeah, big in the 90s. She had a sitcom. She was a sassy black lady, but like very scary. Like she was like... Very scary. Yeah, on the sassy black lady chart, she was like an 11. What was the show she had? Thea.

I miss this whole era. Yeah. Uh, the nineties. Yeah. It could not have been on long. It, I don't think it was on very long. I think, I think she was scary, but it was, she was miss Pat before miss Pat. That's right. Definitely. And, and, uh,

Anyway, it lasted less than a year. Vinny brought me up, the owner of the club, Vinny Brand, who I do owe a tremendous debt to because... I love Vinny Brand. He knew I wanted to do comedy, and then I got a job there and then didn't ask to go on stage for like a year because I saw...

Greg Giraldo, Jim Norton, Patrice O'Neill, Colin Quinn, every weekend, Todd Berry. And I was just like, I'm not going up there. Comedy's terrifying like that. If you've not done it or not done it much and then you go into an environment like that and you see people work the crowd, you're like, oh, I never want the crowd to talk to me.

I mean, the way they would crush in that room was like... It's a good room, though. It would shake the walls. Oh, it's great. It's one of those things... It's like college. You know, you get out what you put into it. Yeah. And so if you...

are crushing, it's super rewarding. But if you aren't crushing, it's like, you know, it's like doing comedy at an airport and no one knows there's a show. That's how, yeah, they just like don't know you're up there. Somebody told me to go F myself last time I was there. Oh, yeah? Did you? Yeah.

So, the... They did. But, yeah, basically, he brought me up, and I remember the feeling in the room was the whole crowd, this sold-out crowd was like, why are they making this guy do comedy? That was, like, the feeling in the room.

Why is it called the stress factor? I mean, we're stressed just jogging. I know. It stresses you out. Yeah. Anxiety hut. It's because anxiety hut was taken. Yeah. The real answer is he had three other businesses going when he opened it. So he was like, he just, his, in his own perspective, his comedy club venture was a stress factory for him.

And then he didn't think about how that might sound to the public and just called it that. And I've never heard anyone say, I love that name. It's always like, it's a weird name. It also stands out. I'm used to it by now. I don't even really think about what the words mean. Exactly. Yeah, like Nike. Yeah, what is Nike? Yeah, nobody knows. Yeah, just do it. Yeah, exactly. But how many dates have you done with Nate on this tour? Like 100? It's impossible to...

It's not impossible. It's been posted. It's probably pretty easy. It's probably pretty easy. No one will ever know. Bit of a paper trail. I was going to say, if you let me finish, I was going to say it's impossible, but I don't know. Okay. A bunch. A bunch. Yeah, it was like eight months of shows, pretty much. And yeah, it was a bunch.

And Nate's not here because we want to hear the real story. We want to hear what really happened. Is this Thea? This is Thea right here. Oh, that's Thea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, this looks like the Everybody Loves Raymond house. And that girl, the middle girl looks like Brandy. It does look like Brandy. Yeah. I think it is.

And then that's Marcus Henderson from Smart Guy. Yeah, he's very familiar. He also sang for Simba in the original Lion King. Wow. That actor. I don't know that. Thea went on stage after my first five minutes. It was so bad. Like, when 375 people pack into a room and it's silent for five minutes, you rethink if you're even a funny person at all. You know? Yeah. It cut to my identity. But...

But she went up as a total class. That is Brandy. Total class act. She ripped me for 10 minutes. As she should, right? Now, did you think, looking back, did you think, did you do badly enough that...

She almost had to say something when she went up there? Or could she have just moved on and not addressed you? She was like, this is a gift. She was like, this is a gift for me. I was wondering what my opening would be. Now I got it. I know. She's like, I had 30 minutes and now I'll have 40. So this is great. No, she... I definitely...

She deserved it, but I also think Vinny was hosting, so I'm sure he handled it already and then brought her up. He reset the room. Yeah, I'm sure he reset the room. So she did have to go, hey, remember that guy? How much time did you do? Five minutes, I think. Oh, okay. A lot can happen in five minutes. Did you bomb it, though? It was a huge bomb? I mean... What was your opening joke? I...

Oh, I have no idea. It's impossible to remember. The only thing I can remember. First of all, I was, I'd never held a microphone. I'd never spoken in front of people before. Like, you know, I didn't do like high school anything, you know? So I was just like the funny guy at the party or whatever. So I get up there and it's like the light, I didn't know the lights were going to be bright. I didn't know. Why were you up there then? Because I wanted to do stand-up comedy. Okay. Yeah. But I just didn't know at all what it was like. And it's awful. Yeah.

It's funny when you see somebody who doesn't know how to hold the mic and it kind of just works its way. Oh, my God. It's just out here. Oh, yeah. I remember I was visibly shaking. I was visibly shaking. I was staring at the ground. Sure. And I think I had a bit about how –

when you have roommates and you can't do laundry, you have to use their dirty laundry and where you would pick their clothes out of their hamper was like a strategic, like you don't want to go recent. Cause it's like still got fresh stuff in it. And like, it was unthought through. The way I just did it was a million times better. I was going to say, I think it sounds pretty good. Yeah.

Brian might do that tonight. I'm going to buy that from you. That's all I can remember talking. By roommate, I mean my wife. Yeah, you do.

Yeah, it's pretty good, actually. My daughter's socks on tonight. But I remember I went home that night and I was so depressed. I've never been that depressed in my life because up until that point, I was like, this is all I have is that I'm funny. And you believed that you could do it until you went up there. Not even on that level. I just thought I was a funny person. Yeah, that was your identity. So to be that, yeah, it was literally my identity. I didn't have anything else going. So to get up there and have an entire room of people be like,

No, that's not true. You thought, worst case, I won't stand out. I'll be a little forgettable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you go up there and you're like, oh, I'm having a negative effect on the show right now. I was like falling apart. And then Thea went up and was like, if you weren't sure how bad that was, here's 10 minutes. Did Thea, did you go home and watch her show after that just to...

You know, like go home and- And just like yell, like mock her sitcom alone. No, I actually went home and I didn't even sleep in my own bed because I was like so upset. Didn't feel like you deserved it. No, I slept in my roommate's bed. He was gone. Wow. And yeah, and drank a handle of vodka until I fell asleep. That was it. And then the next day Vinny goes, you're going on again. This whole roommate situation gets weirder and weirder. You're weird.

You're wearing their dirty laundry. I know. You're sleeping in their beds when they're not there. Turns out I just had some confusing feelings. Yeah, yeah. And didn't know where to work them out. And that's why we all get into stand-up if you think about it. Yeah, that's true. But, yeah, it was, anyway. But Vinny, to his credit, he did not let me quit. He kept making me go back on stage.

It didn't get better for a long time. And then he finally let me host and let me like talk to the crowd first without doing material. And that's when I finally started to get my voice. He's like, we got to figure out a way for you to do less time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. He's like, these things you're thinking of are not good. Yeah, let's see you off the cuff. Let's get you surviving up there. And that's when it started to click for me. Are you mostly, do you do a lot of crowd work now?

I went through a phase for a while there when I was doing a lot of crowd work. Like, I could do...

I don't know if this is a brag or not, but I could do an hour without doing a joke, I think. And not doing like, you know, nice shirt. I've seen a lot of people do that. Yeah. It's a problem. So, but I used to warm up Colbert Report. Remember the first Comedy Central? That's a good show. Yeah. So that was a great job. And it was like, they were doing rewrites when they would put you out there.

So they didn't know how long it would take to fix the script. So I would be out there from 10 minutes to 45 to an hour. And every day I didn't know how long it was going to be. So I had to figure out how to like survive. That's a stress factor. Yeah. So I just got so good at it that I stopped. Anyway, the point is, yes, I am very good at crowd work. I can do it for a long time. And I got so depressed doing it for too long that I never want to go back to doing that. And now, like I just did comedy on state.

And I tried to do crowd work. I brought it up. I was like, I'm going to do crowd work. I haven't done crowd work in so long. Here we go. And it went fine. And then I was like, I can't keep going. I can't stand it. It doesn't seem like the crowd work place for me. No. I've only done a little bit there, but it's- Amazing club. Such a good club. It doesn't seem like a crowd work place. No. It's almost like a waste of how good of a room it is. It is. I know. It's like going to a steak restaurant and like, you know, doing crowd work. It's terrible. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, we did a show in Huntsville and the power, the lights all came on because there's a fire alarm or something. Lights all came off. No, the house lights. The lights went off on Brian at his own show in Huntsville. It did. And then a week later, one week later, back in Huntsville, the lights come on and you're on stage and you had to fill until they got the situation fixed. Well, Huntsville, the grid needs to be looked at in Huntsville. They have a lot of engineers down there. I think they're probably on it.

It's all that space exploration. Yeah. How about a little less attention out there and a little more attention down here? I always say that. I always say that. Yeah. As if we're without problems. Well, you didn't miss a beat, for what I'm trying to say. Well, yeah, I appreciate that, Brian. Yeah, I remember the lights came on, and then I was... It's fun. When something goes wrong, I love it.

Yeah. I do love that. You've got something to talk about. Like, I love riffing on something. And then the crowd's kind of – That's different. They're on your side now because they go, oh, you've got to deal with this. Right. That's different than crowd work. Like, I like riffing. I'm like a Rory Scoville type. I like doing stuff like that. Oh, okay. But I don't like talking, having a conversation until something happens. Like, I'm not – I don't like doing that. But, yeah, that was good. The worst one was in California. I think it was San Jose or something when the sound went out.

in an arena, which is like, yeah, that's tough. Yeah. You can't yell loud enough. I tried. I go, how far can you hear me? And I screamed as loud as I could. I swear. I'm not exaggerating. Nine rows back. They were like, really? And it goes for, you know, 500 rows. I think I could get to the balcony. You've got a good voice. I can project pretty well. Well, where were you?

But that wasn't the answer. How long did that last with no sound? So it was... The thing was, the sound was imperfect, but a lot of the crowd couldn't hear it. So it was like there were pockets of sound. So it was... I was up there for probably 25 minutes with the sound being bad. I did a show where I worked with a band, and I did okay. And then when I got done, the band came out, and they started...

uh singing and you know the songs were great but when they would talk in between songs i couldn't understand what they were saying and i was like was that what it was like for me up there yeah could you not understand what i was saying did you ask anybody no i just how did you do

I did great. Well, then they probably could have heard that they could. No, they were doing that thing where when you can't hear somebody go, oh, nice. Yeah. That's what I did. They just kept doing that. Oh, yeah, yeah. I say I did great, but I didn't walk off going, yeah, they needed me on this. Yeah. Oh, opening for music. I did a tour with Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. I don't know if you've heard of them. I have heard of them. I did. It was a bunch of House of Blues and stuff like that. And it was hard. What did they sing? They had one big hit, right?

I don't know if they had a few, but I feel like they had one. I think they had a TV theme or something. I don't know. They're like a throwback to Heart in the 70s. Like, that's their whole thing. But they're great. But Odeon...

opening for music when they don't know there's going to be comedy is one of the hardest jobs I've ever had to do. Well, I was on the bill, but... They should put next to your name in front of his comedy. Yeah. You know? Yes. But no, it was fine, but I just noticed that it was hard to understand their stories, and I thought...

But they could have had a different microphone set up and all that. Well, that's the thing with musicians. That's why they have instruments because they can't talk. Yeah. They don't even know how to talk. Maybe they didn't really have a story. They have to sing everything. Yeah. They didn't have a story. It's actually – I'm annoyed. Are you annoyed by musicians? Have you ever gone to a live show where he's funny? Yeah. I'm annoyed by that. He's only funny. I'm like, stay in your lane. He's only funny because he's playing music.

and they didn't expect the comedy. If they walked out there and they said, that guy is just going to be funny for 10 minutes, that guy would bomb. Yeah. But I deal with that and we've talked about it before at the Grand Ole Opry. Sometimes you'll follow somebody, a great musician, and they're getting huge laughs between songs. And,

And Charles Esten. I had to follow him once. Yeah. Do you know Charles Esten? Yeah, I do. You might know Charles Esten. Charles Esten is also a funny guy. Whose line is it anyway? Oh, okay. He was Chip Esten at the time. He's also, but he is a funny guy. He's a funny guy. Oh, I was thinking about the wrong guy. He has a background in comedy. Yeah. And then. Oh, but he was doing music? But he was the star of the show Nashville. Okay. Where he played the singer. He's also in The Office.

He was in the office. Charles Astin, though, when you say talk about staying in your own lane, Charles has all the lanes. He's a good-looking dude. He's a good musician. He's a good writer. He's a good – he's funny. It's like take it easy. I know. I hate him, and I don't even know who he is. Yeah.

Also, a nice guy. Oh, come on. Unbelievably nice guy. It's so gross. But after he got off, I go, I don't appreciate how many laughs you got, dude. He was like, oh, you'll get them, buddy.

Well, I was in Florida this week. I was at Off the Hook Comedy Club in Naples. Congratulations. And then I drove over to Boca Raton, did the Boca Black Box. So thank you to everyone who came out. Off the Hook, did you order any seafood?

I did not. You didn't? It's a seafood restaurant. The food is really great there. Yeah. You messed up, dude. Yeah. You were just there for the shows? I just come in, do my thing, and get out of there. Love of the game. I'm all business, man. Did you meet the captain? Did not meet the captain. Yes. Well, I mean, he wasn't there. It's not like I snubbed him, Dusty. But his name's Captain Brian. Yeah. And then they're like, we want you to call in to this...

hip-hop radio station because that's my target audience and that guy's name was flying brian and i'm like well everybody's named brian apparently i need a you need a brian yeah thing yeah what'd you come with breakfast brian yeah breakfast brian yeah that's pretty good uh but anyway great time you did hip-hop radio to plug your shows yeah

Was there noticeable? Did you see him? I made a joke about there was one black woman in the room and I told everyone in the audience, everyone was there was like, you know, it's an older crowd retirees. And I told the story. It was very funny. And I think the one woman who was there, she, she didn't hear me, but yeah, singular. Wow.

Really made her feel bad about that whole thing. She's like, ah, I'm just trying to do a show. I know. I just assume you listen to hip-hop, man. I don't even listen to hip-hop. That's the thing about doing those morning radio shows. I don't think I've ever, of all the radio I've ever done, I don't think I've ever had somebody come up to me after a show and been like, I heard you on Rotten Ralph and the Houdini. It depends, man. They're still...

There's still Ron Ralph. I don't know. Is that a real one? Well, mine was called The Freak Show. The Freak Show, yeah. I heard you on The Freak Show. All my fans. The twisted mind of Brian Fahey. The Freak Show. Yeah.

Yeah, there are some in some markets where they do draw. I had a couple of old ladies come to my show one time because I said, my show's relatively clean, and I said, this is the type of show you can bring your aunt to and not be embarrassed. And they were like, we heard you say that, so we came to the show. Wow. I'm going to steal that line. Yeah. I like that. When I did Bob and Tom for the first time recently, people came up and said, I saw you on Bob and Tom. Yeah, well, Bob and Tom's different. That's a...

Is it still Bob and Tom? The show's still called that, but there is no Bob. I thought they replaced him with a different Bob.

No. They didn't? I don't know. I did it over Zoom. The new singer for Journey also is the new Bob. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sounds just like Bob. It's amazing. They got Chick McGee, Chrissy Lee, and there's some other people that I know that are my friends that their names are escaping me right now. Yeah, yeah. What about you guys? You're on the road with Nate, right?

Yes. There's no way to know. It's impossible. It's impossible. We'll never know. Nobody writes any of this down. No, we were at the Hard Rock in Atlantic City. And then we were at the Jamestown Comedy Center. It's like the comedy museum in Jamestown, New York. That is like, no exaggeration, 10 times better and nicer and cooler than you think it's going to be when you get there. Yeah. You know, it's so cool.

But anyway, we did a benefit show there, and the shows were great. I love casinos. We'll just say I love casinos. We'll leave it at that. We'll leave it there. I don't drink, and I don't do drugs, so I love casinos. Well, man needs a vice. He does, yeah. But it's not a vice if you're winning.

That's what I'm saying. And if you're losing, it's just because you haven't played long enough. It'll come back around. That's exactly right. Yeah, you're not played long enough. You just got to keep at it. Keep going to the 18. You're always one hand away from winning it all. There was somebody who had a joke. He was talking about playing the change machine at a truck stop. He's like, I kept breaking even. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

If that's your joke, I'm going to be so mad. Oh, that's so funny. I heard it somewhere. No, that's great. Yeah. I kept breaking even. Yeah, I love gambling, but it's, you know. The problem is the first time I ever did it, I had like $700 to my name, and I lost. I was like, I'll play with $300, and I was like, man.

Man, that's a huge percentage. But you can't really go in with less. You feel like a child if you do. Oh, I do. I'd go in with 20 bucks. Yeah, but you're breakfast Brian. Yeah. And I remember I lost it. You don't even need money. Yeah. That's right. I lost it and I went, I go, I don't think you're supposed to go to the ATM, but I can't leave like this. Yeah. So I went to the ATM and I took out another like 400 and now I had like,

I mean, honestly, to be honest, I probably had like $900 left in my checking account when I took out 400 the second time. And then I won 900. You're getting richer just as the story goes on. Well, I'm just saying like, I didn't, I didn't bring myself down. I don't want it to seem like I was that crazy, but I was 700 to my name. But then I had 900 after I took out a second particular checking account. I had a different card. And then offshore, I had like a couple, a couple million, but, uh,

No, but the point is it was blood money. And then I went to the ATM. I won 900 and that ruined me for the rest of my life. Because I was like, oh, you just got to keep going. And then you get it all back. It felt good, didn't it? Yeah. Well, Julian, now's maybe a good time to tell you about BetterHelp. Yeah.

Sometimes building this world we're trying to build can become overwhelming. Even when, Nate was supposed to be reading this, even when I'm doing what makes me happy, it can get hard to make sure I can fit everything in. That's why therapy is more important than ever. Therapy is something that helps us all manage our time skills so we can continue to do everything we love, but in a healthy way.

If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, suitable to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash nate today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash nate.

I like that you said Nate was supposed to be reading this right before you read the line, even when I'm doing what I love, as if that couldn't be your line. Well, the whole part, I skipped some of it. Oh, okay. I thought he was about to say when I'm doing arenas or something, but it was just when I'm having a good time. When I'm enjoying my life. They meant somebody else to read this. Well, I need better help. Oh, and look at that. Speak of Nate and he shall appear. Look who's in the building. Oh.

All right. Here he is. Okay. I just read Better Health. Oh, man. Welcome to Lateland. Thank you. Hey. You already made a Hateland joke. Aaron's on fire. I went on Rhyme Zone earlier. Hello, folks, and hey, Bear. Welcome to the Nateland podcast. What's up? Sorry. I was late. I figured we had, you know, our boy Julian. Yeah. I know you guys don't like him, but he's a good guy. No. We know how to make it work. I'll, uh...

I'll be honest. They let me know that this whole time. So it's not like I wonder how they feel. It looked like we brought in the guy who made the wood. And we're just like talking. So tell us about this table. By the way, I wasn't going to wear this. Your sister...

I was walking in with coffee into your office today and she decided to jump scare me from around the corner and I just threw coffee all over my white shirt. So then I had to wear this and now I look like I'm built the table. Where'd you get this? That's a, I,

I had it with me, but I wasn't going to wear it. My dad used to sell insurance in a shirt like that. Well, all right. How do you like that, Nate? I could sell insurance in this shirt. Yeah. On the table. Yeah. Insurance on the table. It looks good. I think it looks good. It looks good. Yeah. It looks... He had a... You spilled something this weekend on your shirt, too. I...

You had another one. He's had two shirt incidents this weekend. What was that one? Oh, yeah. That was just standard eating. Yeah. I had no problem. Like, obstacles. Yeah. It's tough when you go do a show. Because we did...

We were in Atlantic City and then Jamestown, New York. In Jamestown, New York, we were just kind of show ready pretty early because we went to the National Museum. Yeah, before we got there. Before we got there, then we were eating. And so there's a, you know, it's a... It's risky. It's a tightrope walk right there. And I had a white t-shirt on.

And I ate, what was it? Because you got to think about every bite. You do. You got to think about every bite. What were you eating? What was it? I think it was the dessert that probably got you. There was a pie that was a triple berry. Oh, wow. And those berries will ruin a white shirt forever. Oh, man. Forget about it. It's worse than blood. Yeah, that was the end. So it goes, Aaron, you waiting to go in from the bench? Yeah. Keep him warm? He's still eating the pie. Yeah.

Yeah. Now he's got his hood up. I feel like I'm waiting to take the warm-up jacket off on the bench. Did you tell your parents, you go, I think I'm getting in today? I don't see how I wouldn't. This team's the worst team. Everybody showed up. Coach said. Did everybody show up? The whole family showed up? No, my family would stop coming. I got thrown out of games. They did? Middle school basketball. I got thrown out of games. Oh, why? For what? I don't know.

I would foul kids. Politics? Oh, you were the guy they put in just to hack a shack. Yeah, they would put me in to foul people to stop the clock at the end of the game. I could see that. And I got thrown out of a game. They were commenting on how pretty your lips are. Yeah. You do have pretty lips. And then you fire them up. They fire you up. I don't like how the podcast turned in the last... I mean, we were discussing Julian's gambling problems, and then you walked in, and now I'm talking about my personal lives. I don't remember there being any problems. Yeah.

This guy's a winner. Yeah. It's only if you lose. Where were you, Aaron, this weekend? I had a long weekend, man. Billings, Montana for the Yeehaw HeHaw Festival. Friday and Saturday. Do they need both? The Yeehaw. If you're in a HeHaw, you might as well HeHaw. All right. Okay. I don't know. I'm a newbie. Yeehaw HeHaw. A thousand Billings for a couple days. That was fun. Then just...

6 a.m. flight to Portland, and then I was in Corvallis, Oregon last night. Oh, I love Corvallis. Majestic Theater. They talked about Dusty a lot. Dusty did two shows there. I did one, but it was sold out of show. It was pretty awesome. I love that place. It was really, really great, man. It was awesome. And then 6 a.m. flight. Did they give you a mug?

They did give me an Aaron Land mug. Yeah. I should have brought it in, but that's just an awesome town, awesome show. And then I had an early flight back today. Had a woman freak out on the flight today. No way. It was pretty nice. Yeah. Overseeing you? It was pretty fun. No, no. Is that Aaron Weber? No, there's a woman on the plane wearing something inappropriate.

On the flight. Political? No. Like not enough clothes. Not enough clothes. And I saw her. Was she attractive? What are we looking at? Southwest here? This is Southwest for sure. I flew Delta on the way there and then I flew Southwest back and I noticed. I'm just trying to find out how inappropriate. Inappropriate on Southwest is way more inappropriate than inappropriate on the plane.

Would we show it on Nate Land or we wouldn't? No, no, no, no. I saw her walk on the plane. I was like, oh my gosh, like that's crazy to wear on the plane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you were like, that's crazy, but I'm into it or like? I'm going to sit next to her. Not the right context. It could have been anybody and it would be like, what are we doing? Maybe she had something over that, but she spilled something on him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, Julian's borderline inappropriate. Yeah. Yeah. It was like really short shorts, and she sat down, and I guess somebody complained or maybe something. She's a row in front of me. The flight attendant comes over and goes, you're going to have to put on some different shorts. What? She goes, this is the style of shorts.

And she goes, well, she goes, you ain't going to be sitting in my plane in your panties. Yeah. So she freaks out. Her bag is like three rows away. So she walks down, pulls open the thing, reaches in, finds her suitcase, gets a pair of shorts and like slams it shut. And she pulls down her shorts and changes in the aisle.

Yes. Wow. No, none of this is good. No. What is she doing? Are they still boarding? By the way, that wasn't a pervert, yes. That was a anti-authority. Oh, sure. Yeah, you're just rooting for chaos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is, the whole plane's boarded, but we haven't left to take off yet. So,

So this all goes now. She slams it shut, does that in the aisle. Like a teenager with their bedroom door. She's probably my age. Yeah, early 30s maybe. And then she goes back and then all the – Same body type? All the – All right. Anyway, so that was – No, that's a good question. That's a good question. No, and then all the – You don't want to describe in detail what her body type was? I don't actually. Not even a hint. That's fine. Yeah.

We're just trying to get a picture. I posted the video on Twitter earlier. Oh, okay. I did. I'll bet you. I would never do that. It was just fun. Stuff like that can be energizing in a way. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because it was just so monotonous the whole weekend, the travel, and then you're like, oh, dude, we're still out here. People are going crazy on flights. I love it. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah, the world's insane. Yeah, they're crazy. I mean...

Were the shorts she put on over her shorts the same style of short? Yeah, that would have been very good. Double-weighed? That would have been good. No, I put on sweatpants or something. Oh, okay. Then I saw her waiting for her Uber after, and I was like, she was back in the original clothes. Oh, really? Just shameless. Well, she was probably so sweaty in those actual clothes. The anger and the sweatpants. The comfort people have, like, I was talking to someone, he's...

People not waving in a car anymore and just saying thank you and all that. It's like you're losing so much of just the politeness of just we're all going through this together. Let's just be reasonable. Manners are like the olive oil of interaction. I think it could come back. I think our kids...

Because we're the generation that's like, what are you doing? Yeah. And so then the one that's underneath just feels that they can do whatever. But it's so over the top that's embarrassing that I think the younger generation now is like, well, I don't want to be noticed. You know, you want to be just, I don't want to...

act like I just own it you know these streamers dude I see this I just I don't know how I see some of it but like that speed guy and the neon like they just do stuff they're just talking in public it's like a Truman show yeah but they're having the cameras follow I could never I know it's crazy how do you

It's why I have no content. Because I'm like, I won't go into the world and be like, hey, everybody, what's up? Smash that like button, you know? Oh, it's crazy. No, I'm too busy holding doors open. You gotta smash the like button. What? You gotta smash the like button. You gotta smash the like button. But there's a time and a place. It's true. There's a time and a place.

There is. Juice the algorithm. Yeah. That's how you do it. Yeah. But yeah, the plane thing also. It's a joke that seemed to not land with anyone but you, and then it seemed to get real serious. I didn't know it was a joke. Yeah. I just see, you know, YouTube people are always like, go ahead, smash that like button. Yeah. Yeah. The plane thing with the clothing, like the guys that wear, I had, there was a guy, he was probably like 25.

And he was wearing full pajamas, a regular pillow, like from his house, like a house pillow. And with those people, I think the flight attendants should talk to them like they're unaccompanied minors. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, oh, is this your first? It's going to be okay. I'll sit with you. Yeah. Can you imagine like getting to somebody picking you up?

And they're picking you up at the airport and you're like, you've been out all day and you're still in your pajamas. You got your home pillow. Yeah. It's like, what are you doing? You've got up. Go ahead. Get dressed. You're out in the world now. It's unreal. And you can basically wear stuff that's more comfortable than pajamas that looks. Viore. Great. You're doing it right now. I'm wearing Viore. Honestly, you can wear. I have golf pants and Viore jacket on. Yeah. And I could sleep in this in my bed. Right.

Right. I think these people are, you know, they get too old. They hit their 30s and then they, you know, I don't know what they're doing for work. Like, they don't have any. Like, they're just – I always think they're gamers. I feel like they're professional gamers. Yeah. So they've never, like –

And it really could be anybody. It's not a type. I mean, you can be very judgmental in a lot of things. A lot of things fits very much in stereotype world. But this kind of like delusion is, it plays across where you would be shocked at sometimes being like, what are you thinking, dude?

I just couldn't imagine going through TSA in my pajamas. I don't even want, I don't even own pajamas because I don't even want my family to see me in pajamas. Oh, I wouldn't. What do you sleep in? I just, you know, my underwear.

That should be our... That should be... I've seen boxers. That should be one of those organized protests we do. You know? It's like we're protesting pajamas on the plane. I don't think I'm in briefs out here. We think. We probably take them off to get into those boxes. But yeah, if I wore my pajamas on the plane, it would just be me and boxers. Yeah. You know, you just get on the plane that way. I'm in my pajamas. I just want to be comfortable. I want to be comfortable. That's how I sleep. I'm trying to get to sleep on the plane.

Yeah, it's crazy. Did y'all read No Comments yet? No Comments. Y'all got nowhere. All right, we can start with you guys. Did anybody else, did you have something? Dusty, did you have anywhere you wanted to mention? I had a great weekend in Buffalo, New York at Helium, and then I did a corporate gig on Saturday. It was great. I went to Canada. It was a lot of fun. We're going to Canada Friday.

All right. Where are you going? Canada's corporates. They have corporations. No, I did a corporate in Ohio, but I went to Canada in between. Oh, okay. I was going to say. Where are you guys going in Canada? I'm not going. He's not going. I'm going. Halifax and something. The Great Outdoors Festival. He just wanted to let you know, you don't get to go all over. No, no, no. I don't get to go to Canada. Yeah. I had an issue. No, actually. Gambling debts. Yeah. I just remembered that's a real thing that people can't go to Canada because I've never had a DUI.

Yeah, no, we've had, I mean, we had someone on the road with us once that we could not let him through the border. No, it wasn't. It wasn't Aaron? It wasn't the guy wearing a hood during the whole podcast? Yeah, they didn't let him through, and then they had to go get a hotel. We were on the bus, and they had to get a hotel, and there's no hotel, so it's like a guy's house. Then that guy had to drive him to the airport the next day. It was a whole thing.

And it was that kind of thing. Yeah, that stuff, you know, you're young, you do some... And look, stuff happens, but it's like, it can mess you up. You can't go. They get real strict, you know, obviously. And it...

Makes it weird. But here we are. We made it through. We did. This is the reading part? That's a real vague safety speech. Yeah, yeah. Basically, be careful out there. Yeah, be careful out there because you're going to be 18 and dumb and then do something 34 and you're going to look crazy. Keep your eyes open. David Keltonik. Keltonik. I started listening to this episode while mowing the lawn and was surprised when y'all started to wrap it up after only 13 minutes.

I realized the phone in my pocket had been skipping randomly through episodes. It kind of says a lot about the podcast. You can jump in and out at any point and not miss a beat. I considered going back to listen to the whole thing, but I figured I'd get the gist of it.

That is what it's all about. I think that is what it's, and I think I like that. You know when you're watching a movie at home and you get up and go to the bathroom and they go, do you want to pause it? And you go, nah. Nah, nah. I can't imagine. No, and that's this podcast. It should be. We're trying to make entertainment that is that. It's why I keep not finishing my sentences because if it's going to be skipping around anyway. Yeah, these people don't know. They weren't even following along to begin with. No. I don't need to finish it.

Cody Krieger. Krieger. Krieger. Kruger. Krieger? Krieger. Krieger probably makes sense. Do you guys think the Dump Dusty guy gets a false sense of happiness when Dusty misses an episode? I think the guy misses me when I'm not around because he can't

Do Dump Dusty when I'm not on it. He loves you. This guy goes to other podcasts that I do with people and puts Dump Dusty on them. Oh, really? Like where I'm a guest on someone's podcast. You made it weird with Pete Holmes and the first comment was Dump Dusty. It's like, I'm not a member. I'm not...

always on Pete Holmes podcast. Yeah. I did one episode. Dump him. He's like, if you were thinking about making him a permanent host, go ahead and don't do it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I love the idea that you, everybody's podcast you go on, people are like, I might hire this guy. Yeah.

You carry that energy around. It happened here. It happened here. Yeah, it's true. And then the guy, yeah, but this guy wants to make sure it doesn't happen anywhere else. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, I made the mistake once by not telling Nate. Yeah, before, he was probably wanting to do it on ours, but he thought, they can't add someone. And then he's like...

You know, sometimes it's like, well, you got to fix it. Yeah. They might add them. Yeah. Jane Murray. Aaron, you're soft, perceptive. Oh, wait. Aaron, you're...

You are soft, perceptive, and sometimes... Oh, you're... No, it is. She had it right. Yeah, she had it right. Jane had it right. There should be a comma in there, I think. Is there? A comma would have helped. I don't know. After soft. Aaron, you're soft. No, there's no comma. There's no comma. I got hung up in the your...

Aaron, you're soft, perceptive, and sometimes understated responses can go unnoticed. You've got the perfect combination of smarts and humor. My May fatherhood bless you. Wow, look at that. I mean, if I were sweet, thank you, Jay. Jane may want to holler at you. Yeah. Yeah. Notice she didn't say, May marriage bless you. Oh, yeah. May fatherhood. She's like, uh...

you know. Yeah. Yeah. Appreciate you writing in, Jerry. Got the perfect combination of smarts and humor. Jane Webber. That's pretty nice. Jasmine Lozano.

Love the senior portraits. It took me back to the maps episode where Aaron pulled up a picture of a sea cow and Nate asked, is this when you graduated high school? I wish I'd been on that one. That sounds like a fun one. That was a fun one. We used to be a pretty good time. Yeah.

God, back in the day, this podcast was so great. Yeah. Dusty, you haven't been here to explain your senior portrait yet. We were here last week. Yeah, what is up, dude? I mean, I think probably out of the four of us, there's the most obvious difference between how you look now. Shocking. Well, you're the only one who was a villain in Harry Potter. Well, we can skip the next comment then. Oh, here we go. Oh, no. Let me get it. Witchy...

uh, witchy Trista, young dusty looks like Draco Malfoy. Who's that? Is that the, that's the villain of Harry Potter. Oh yeah. I stepped on her. I didn't say, I didn't read ahead. Sorry, witchy. When I was in high school, which he gets, Eminem was very popular. It was the height of slim shady, uh, you know,

The very first Slim Shady song came out when I was in high school. So you were not a fan of tanning beds at this point in your life? No. Or ever going outside. You've never seen a tanning bed at this point. Yeah, not really gotten into it. But, you know, I didn't always have my hair like that. I bleached it, and then I would let it grow out. And then I had like a – I'm not saying it looked better. Uh-huh.

But it was a different look, but I had just gotten a fresh cut and got it. You know, I was gelled up. I thought I was looking pretty cool. I mean, it does not look like you. No, I was never totally confident in the way I looked, but not at this point. But, you know, I was struggling. Yeah.

I got the same eyebrows, so you can see the eyes. Wait, that's senior high school? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. What was your job? What were you working at that point? I was probably working at Jim Bob's or maybe Western Sizzlin'. Yeah. Jim Bob's Chicken Fingers. Jim Bob's Chicken Fingers. Oh, okay. How many... I'd buy chicken fingers from that guy. Did you always have a Band-Aid on? That's what you looked like.

Just a kid that always has been. You're like, God, you cut yourself every day. Oh, no. I was never hurt. But what's really throwing this look off is this collar shirt and tie I'm wearing. I mean, I was a much grungier looking guy. Oh, that's probably the most basic. I mean, that's the part. I didn't even look down that far in that picture yet. Yeah. I mean, it's a great smile. It's great everything. It's just you don't think that kid's going to become what you became right now. No.

Nah, you didn't think he'd do much. I'll tell you that. That kid's going to ask you for a Newport outside of 7-Eleven. Yeah. That is true. That's spot on. I love that you worked at a chicken finger place because if I saw you working there, I'd go, well, this kid only has ever eaten chicken fingers. So he's going to know what he's talking about. I want to ask, though, Aaron, though, yours up here, is that – that's not your senior year. Yeah, it's my senior year of high school.

And the first season of Roseanne when he was married to Roseanne Barr. It just seemed really young. I was 18. Dan! 18 years old. I think they airbrushed the face a little too much because I do look more youthful than I probably did in real life. Yeah, it's...

The haircut's tough to see. I think the lighting's bad here in my picture. No, lighting's perfect. No, we had to turn the lighting down or it'd be too bright. That's what I mean. It was too bright. Oh, you're saying your face got washed out? I also had gotten punched in the eye, not during this picture, but my eye swole shut. And so I don't think it had quite gone back down.

Brian, how would you describe, what was the instruction from the photographer before you made that face, do you think? Did the fire go out when the picture was taken? No.

You're talking to me? Yeah. Like, you know, those cameras that goes... All right, we got it. Next. What was it you called mine? I said it looked like you were undercover trying to bust kids for drugs in high school. Yeah. You got a 42-year-old pretending to be in high school. Anybody got a pound of drugs on you? Yeah. Looking to buy a pound of drugs.

A lot of folks posted their most embarrassing senior photos and there were a lot of good ones out there. This was not embarrassing for me. I'd just like to say. Well, I'm not saying it was. This is one of my favorites. Oh, wow. That's from Brandy Coy. Which one is the student? She said she loved Jesus then, she loves Jesus now, but she was really into him then. Kind of like your parents. Yeah, yeah. She was the

The most Christian. The most Christian. So that's very funny. Wow. Painting in a painting. It's a little, can I just say? Yeah. And I don't know how mean we get on this show, but it's a little, not mean, but I'm saying like to position Jesus, like he's looking up at her. Like, wow, you are. I mean, I'm something, but you're something. Well, to me, it looks like he's looking around her going, is she looking at me again? Yeah.

It also looks like she knocked the pedestal over that his painting was on. There's probably a deeper metaphor in here. This Greek column got pushed over. Yeah. And then the picture of Jesus. Oh, yeah. That's right, because Christianity replaced the Greek, the ancient Greek system.

Remember? Maybe she's... Is that what you're referring to? Or are we not getting that deep into history? She's Samson. Did you know that, Aaron? I don't even know if that's true. I don't know what you're talking about. No. Remember they would feed Christians to the lions or whatever? In Rome? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that Rome? Rome, Greece? Same thing. Whatever. You and me do well together.

It's like Philly, Jersey, whatever. Yeah. CarmiGirl9902. The quick dismissal of Serena and Simone is so disappointing. It only takes a quick dive to find out the two have transcended their sport through excellence. In Biles' case, she has five moves named after her. They have unfairly changed the rules in gymnastics because no one can do what she does. Greatest athlete indeed.

Yeah, that is crazy. I guess I was not here for that. That is crazy to be like, they're just changing the rules. And Katie Ledecky says she wants to do the next Olympics. Yeah. That's crazy. Well, she... I watched her. She's so far ahead of those girls. Like, just be...

just do it. Like, I mean, what even, what, how slow could you possibly, even if you're a little slower, like what? You give up five seconds next Olympics. Yeah. She's winning about 10, 11 seconds. I mean, she can probably do it for 10 more years. That's so, that's, I always thought like, you know, I watched the 100 and, uh,

It's Usain Bolt. It's like, I want to go back and watch his stuff. That dude is... He had space between him. He had like two lengths of dude between him and the same guy. Those guys were so fast. And the other ones are like, I mean... Yeah, they ran 9.78. His was 9.58. 9.56. It's one of the few sports where, yeah, you can judge it anytime in history on who's truly the greatest just by their times. Yeah.

It's not like they're competing against each other in the sense that you could deter. Well, some... Yeah, then they get into... They said this track was fast. This track... I guess there's always something. Yeah, there's... They have to put win-aided...

if the wind was behind you. Like, there could be some stuff. What about swimming? That seemed like that would be always the same. No, because then you got to worry about tide and like the current, stuff like that. Yeah, swimming's probably the whole time. I was thinking when they swim, I wonder if it gets too rough. Like, if say you get

way ahead or something yeah if you're just like he's he's splashing yeah yeah you're knocking water over into the thing off the original when you jump off cannonball it yeah yeah splash make a lot of and confuse everyone and then take off there you go that's the way to do it i bet you swim marginally faster in warm water too so i think the temperature might oh yeah

Sound travels faster in warmer temperatures. Wow, that's cool. Dry heat. I'm saying there's a reason. I prefer your soft comments. Maybe that's one that... Does sound really travel farther in warm stuff? Not farther. I didn't know that. I was trying to make you feel better. Is that true? It's like a baseball. Is that true, man? That's a fun fact. That's cool. Wow, I didn't know that. It's a fun fact. It's like when you... Yeah. They get to quit being mean to your brother. What?

Oh, well, that's cool. No, I'm saying I like what he's doing. Yeah, I said that.

There's a video now of Usain Bolt racing normal people. And, I mean, he's just, of course, just messing with them. But they try to keep up with him. Have you seen it? Wait, what? Bolt is racing normal people? Yeah. No, I haven't seen that. You're looking at me like I said he should have done that. But he didn't. Yeah. He goes, well, Julian, now they've started doing. That's great. I want to see that. That's cool, though, man. That's great. So, regular people, you're encouraging. Wow. All right.

All right. I'm going to write that down. I got two things to look up tonight. I think you and Aaron should talk about stuff. Aaron's was more interesting, but I just wanted to chime in. Josiah Day. Nate's saying he doesn't think Phelps is the greatest is crazy. I guess that's it. What did you say? I don't know. I guess that Phelps is not the greatest. No, you said you were expecting Tiger. We looked up a list of the best athletes of the 21st century so far. Okay. And we were trying to guess who would be number one, and we thought it would be Tiger Woods.

And then it was Michael Phelps. So I think you weren't like upset that he was number one. If you look at the most gold medals won in history, there are three people tied for third with eight gold medals each. There are two people tied for second with nine gold medals each. And then there's Michael Phelps in first with 23 gold medals. I do agree. I think it's...

You got me. It's like, yeah, it's tough. It's like they're just different sports, so it's like a different kind of thing. It's like, I mean, why would you not put, you know, it's like it would be like, well, is Michael Phelps better than Wayne Gretzky? Wayne Gretzky has every record on Planet Earth broke. No one's even can come close to him. He like triple broke him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And with Michael Phelps, it's like he's a fast swimmer, right? So that's the whole thing. But 23-goat mills, because when you see all the— He's just like fast every time.

Yeah. It just kind of seems like it's – Too easy. You get a gold medal for everything. What about Andres Galarraga, who had a fun name? Yeah. That was a fun name. That's true. You know what I mean? You're like, oh, he beat us at 100 meters. Then we did it 200. He won again. It's like, yeah, he's the fastest. Yeah. But those are – but they're different. You got to keep giving us gold medals. 23 is – it's – honestly, it's like there should be two different rankings, and it should be like –

You go to the 100 greatest athletes and you go like, we can't even do that. You got to go into like, there's a class that's like Tiger, Phelps, Jordan, Gretzky. You know, you could have LeBron. Like, there needs to be like, all right, Tom Brady. You're like, we need like a… You're just ranking the top five people. Like…

I know, but I'm saying that you can't just throw them in a list and be like, it goes Michael Phelps, then it's Mark McGuire. Like, they're not... Because they're not... Phelps is...

It's on another planet. We need someone to win a swimming gold medal and then a track and field gold medal and then gymnastics. Like a Deion Sanders of the Olympics? Exactly. I feel like someone used to be like that. Jim Thorpe? Yeah.

This is John Madero. Jim Thorpe. I have his poster on my wall. He used to listen to his radio broadcasts. I grew up watching Cap Anson. I love Cap Anson. And Honus Wagner. David Himlhaver. Himlhaver. David Himlhaver. That's a name. That is a name. Two last names in one.

Is the Heimelhaver family ready? They're ready, boy. Because there's a bunch of them. I feel like when they get to the restaurant, their table's never ready. Cartwright? You read names like if I tried to read these without my glasses on. Yeah. Just kind of guesses.

The Heimel Havers, are y'all, they get their table ready. You're like, no, we got to do a few things. You got to be moving tables together. Pushing tables. You got to push them together. They go, we're going to need, we had to call some people in. I worked as an intern at my local radio station was cutting a commercial that had a lot of P words. The owner of the station accused me of popping my P's.

I said, I haven't been eating in here. And they all laughed at me. If only I had Aaron Land to teach me plosive, I wouldn't have felt so dumb. Do you know what the word plosive is? No. Okay. Aaron, I mean Dusty. It sounds like...

how young kids today would say explosive that's what I thought it was but I didn't want to it does that volcano plosive yeah it's like when or when somebody says when a kid says you look right now you look like you put your your hairs attached to your hat is it yeah it just looks like it comes with it it does it looks like you took it off it would all come with it like you had to answer the door real quick and you go hello the cops showed up you don't want anybody to know

It's still you. You're still that underneath. Yeah, I'm always in disguise. Yeah. That's what he looks like underneath. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. If he takes his hat off. Carly Legg. I almost said Carrie, but Carly Legg. Speech therapist here. How you doing? English has six plosives or stops. P, B, T, D, K, and G. K? These types of sounds are made by constriction in the vocal tract...

Which stops airflow? All right. All right. Carly Legs seems like a pretty fun time. Did you know? And those sounds travel faster in warm weather. Oh. Yeah. Y'all acting like y'all knew that. You didn't know. Um...

Yeah. Well, Anna Chernychinka has got something to say about it. Hey, don't. Chernychinki. She was a tennis player, right? Anna Chernychinkiko? You got to stop saying this name. Is that how you say it? We're going to get canceled. No, that's how she says it. Anna Chernychinko. That's how she says it. Chernychinko, I bet. Chernychinko. Anna Kortakova. Yeah, that's who I was thinking of. Anna Kortakova. Yeah.

I was summoned to jury duty in downtown Portland for a six-week trial. On the summons, they recommended we take public transportation to avoid issues with parking near the courthouse. When I arrived, I was informed the case was for a man who stabbed people on public transportation. I was not selected, but I definitely did not enjoy the ride back. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah. That's tough. You know. Greg Cannon. The best descriptive movie title ever is The Man Who Killed Hitler...

And then the Bigfoot. Wow. I don't want to spoil it too much, but at the beginning, a man kills Hitler, and then later he kills Bigfoot. Wow. It's all about the journey, not the destination. Yeah. I thought... Is this like a popular movie? It's got... Sam Elliott. Sam Elliott. Yeah. I didn't know. I thought it was just Bigfoot. Ron Livingston. It usually is, but... Is it The Bigfoot? No. Or Bigfoot?

Well, it depends. Like, is it Eagles or The Eagles? It's The Hitler and then The Bigfoot. Yeah. Sounds like Sam Elliott just needed a little money for something. Yeah. He's like, no, no, I'll do it. But... What was the Greg Gerardo joke you told me? No, that's... Hot Tub Time Machine? Yeah. Yeah, he goes up on the movie called Hot Tub Time Machine. He goes, yeah, what's it about? He's on Flash Comics stand-up.

when he was judging Last Comic Standing. And I started to see his name. Craig Robinson? Craig Robinson. And he goes, I got a new movie coming out. It's called Hot Tub Time Machine. And Greg Giraldo goes, what's that about? Jim King. Jim King. That sounds like a magician.

That's the name. When you go, who's my opener this weekend? They go, Jim King. You go, huh. Yeah. Yikes. I guess I talked about my dad all weekend. I hear crowd work being brought up quite often, and it seems for the most part it's something you guys stay away from. Have you ever considered trying to master it or at least work some of it in with your routine the same way MMA fighters train different techniques to better their chances of winning a fight? Yeah.

Julian? I'll answer for Nate. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't. Nate's a striker, and that's all he's going to do. Yeah. I'm a big fan of weaving things in and out of bits, so you don't even know which are bits and which are crowd work. But I also, like I was just telling them before you got here, have gotten pretty much super permanently tired of crowd work. So I'll riff, but I don't like talking to people anymore. Yeah.

But yeah. Yeah, you do like the whole, like on our shows, you do a perfect like, hey, what's, you're kind of, you're kind of, yeah, you're acknowledging them. You're kind of talking to them, but you're not talking to them. You're not really asking for responses. It's not based on that kind of stuff. I, I, I, crowd work is a giant thing in New York City when we were there. And I think the guys that did it, we did it, did it much better than the guys,

The comics that do it now. Because they did it every night and they would talk to the crowd and they did work on it. But I could see that it was a craft that you had to work on. That's what I saw and I thought, that's such a giant thing to go work on. I don't want to... It's too...

It's like, it was just too much. And so I thought, I'll just stay working on my material. I just don't want to harass the audience too. I just want the audience to be able to just enjoy themselves without being like, oh, where'd you get that shirt? Goodwill? You know, I'm real bad at that. Hey, that's pretty good though. Hold on. I dropped that off last week. Crowd work is like at its highest level. It's awesome. At its highest level. It's awesome. But,

Anything less than its highest level is super exhausting. Like improv. Yeah, exactly. Or like surgery. But I mean, we can handle stuff...

I mean, I have stuff happen. Yeah. You handle it your way. I mean, I post a video. I have fireworks go off at the end of my set. Yeah. That's tougher than crowd work. Yeah. When you have to deal with something you can't even imagine. Yeah, because you have to get that guy fired for setting off those fireworks. Yeah. That's tough. Like, there's stuff... So you're able to just, you know... I think we're able to handle it. It's just...

I don't want to go down the route of doing it. You handled that great. They went off and you go, those fireworks remind me of when my dad yelled at me when he was a clown. And then you went into that bit and it was like perfect. Yeah. You know? You handled it so perfectly. I went, I go, I had a great joke about saying like these fireworks, like you never know when the grand finale is coming. Yeah. And you're always like, this is it. This, no. No.

This feels like, you know, stuff like that. That was irritating. I remember you wrote a Nate joke in real time and it was good enough that you could have kept it. And that I remember not liking you for that. Well, it's like when you're on stage, I mean, that's the fun part. You know, it's like, you're just like, you got to trust that you can figure it out. You're like, I'll be okay if something happens. And if I can't, then I'll get out of it or whatever. But, all right. Dusty, you want to tell us about AG1? Yes, I do. Yeah.

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AG1.com slash Nate. Check it out. I'll be honest with you. I think AG1 might have asked you to hurry that one up. Yeah. I was told to read verbatim. Oh, really? I didn't want to read that out loud, but it's highlighted for me. You're reading time. Well, I got to... That's the show, folks. You know, you make it entertaining and then people listen to it and they go, you know, maybe he's on to something. I thought it was pretty plosive. I felt... It was plosive. It was effective. Yeah.

I want to drink it. It's a close-up. It specifically said. This movie, The Man Who Killed Hitler and then The Bigfoot. I have a theory with a lot of movies now that they're –

it's like when you go pitch them you just gotta give them a hook like you gotta give them that title and if you give them that title they're like yeah yeah I'm down and then everybody's kind of cause I don't think anybody's really reading scripts or anybody's really there's so many people that are the attention span is so low well and I don't think it's for the audience but I think it's the people that work there I don't think they so you just go give them a title

What if it were just about killing Bigfoot? And then they were like, nah, nah, nah. We need a little more. And he was like, all right, all right. What if I kill Hitler too? So Hitler just happens at the beginning, maybe. You just see him do it. With that title, if you want to pitch something, I...

I really have a theory that you could just go give them that title. They're going to be swept up and love the title. You start telling them the movie. The movie doesn't really matter what you're telling them. Yeah. Because they're just like – because they just have to go say those words to their boss. That's all they care about. They don't care about if it's like in a world – and that's in all of them, but that's why a lot of stuff gets –

kind of not great. I don't want to nitpick, but Bigfoot and Hitler didn't actually, they weren't alive at the same time. Let's go ask Dusty. Which one of those do you think more likely still be alive?

It's tough to say. I mean, I like to think that this guy didn't even, you know, this is not even about that. This is just the man who did it. So the whole movie is just following that man around. People are always like, did you kill Hitler and Bigfoot? He's like, yeah, dude. Well, they would be around. I was also on Roadhouse. Yeah, like Bigfoot would still be around.

Some people say Hitler's around, you know? He went off to an island. Hitler would be like 130 now or something crazy. But we talked when the Bigfoot expert was on the show, I went into it with the misconception that there was a singular Bigfoot. This would make, well, it's because of things like this. Because it says the Bigfoot. I know. I know. But people that are actually into it believe it's like a species that has a hominid. That's what I, yeah. I never thought of it as one. I always thought it was a bunch. I thought it was like the Loch Ness Monster, like one thing. Mm-hmm.

But you live and you learn. You grow up. There's multiple big feet out there is what we learn. Big feet. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's possible to live to be 130, though. I mean, let's not. Maybe proper. With AG1. AG1, if you walked every day, probably. He had a real meth problem. Yeah, probably so, yeah. You know we walked about it at Barnes & Noble. I didn't buy it, but...

No, you saw a video. I looked at it. No, no, no. I didn't read the book. No, you saw a video. I didn't read the book. There was a video. There was a video that just went around of like in color. No. Like him on. I've seen a video of him shaking at the Olympics. His speeches, he seems sped up. That's what you saw. He seems ready to go. I saw the book. So the book's called Hey, He's a Pretty Big Man. Hey, is the same guy who made that movie? Uh,

He has a pretty big drug problem. You're like, well, I don't even need to read the book now. That's the man who had a pretty big drug problem and wasn't blitzed. That's real. Drugs in the Third Reich called Blitz. Yeah, that's real. So from that title, you go, he had a pretty big... I read the dust cover. Between that and the video you saw. That's for your information. Look, it was a little confirmation bias because I knew about this before I saw the book, but...

But I thought, hey, somebody wrote a book about this. It must be real. Imagine being like his dealer. He had a doctor. He had a personal doctor. Like Elvis. He had a doctor, and he would – You're like, me cool guys, Hitler's coming over. This guy's a little unhinged. This guy always hangs around too long. He goes, no, I'm hard, dude. He goes, I ain't scared of nobody. He goes, look, you are.

In the streets, you are... People are so scared of you. This is different. Yeah. I promise you, this is different. Yeah. And he's like, I've killed somebody. And they're like... All right, look. This guy...

It's funny also to think of him at a doctor's office in the waiting room. You feel like you're waiting. Yeah. Hitler comes in and just sits and reads a magazine while he's waiting to see his doctor. Yeah, the nurse is like, Hitler? Your room is ready. Hitler? He puts down better housekeeping. Yeah. Adolf? Yeah. My favorite fact about that is that he used to wake up at 11 a.m.

Hitler used to wake up at 11. Wow. Didn't it seem like he was like an early riser? I would think if you're at war, you got to get up pretty early. No, he was so blitzed all the time that he would get up like all bleary and hung over at 11, and then he would have to get the shot from his doctor, and then he'd be methed out for the rest of the day. Aaron, isn't it correct that the first broadcast signal to reach outer space was Hitler addressing the Olympics? Oh.

Oh, I had no idea. Is that real? Yeah. I think the first signal that was powerful enough to leave our atmosphere was Hitler addressing the start of the games in Germany. Must have been a pretty warm day. Yeah. Where did it go? It goes into outer space and it's still going. So the first aliens... What are we even doing? That's the first message they'll get.

will be from us will be Hitler. But we're never going to know if they heard it already. Well, they show back up and tell us. And they go, hey, y'all got to get rid of this guy. And you're like, what? We're like, we don't want to talk about it. In the movie Contact, that's what they sent back was that message. That you got to get rid of him? No, they sent back to us what we sent to them, which was Hitler addressing the games, opening of the Olympic Games. But what did he say? I mean, I imagine this was just a... He said, here we go, let's go. Yeah, just an Olympic...

Message, right? Yeah, I don't know that he was like saying anything bad. Gentlemen, start your... Yeah, at this point, I think everybody still thought he was going to be cool. He's a great guy. Yeah, he's going to be just a cool dude. Writes poetry, something. Didn't he paint? Yeah, he's a painter. Well, it's been a while since we've talked about a state. People love him. And Julian, you're a perfect guest for this because this week we're talking about New Jersey. Wow.

Oh, really? Yeah. I spun the wheel and I won, huh? Yeah. New Jersey. You guys just got back from what? Atlantic City? Atlantic City. Yeah, but that's, I'm from South Jersey, the Philly area. It's very important. It's like two different countries, North Jersey and South Jersey. Yeah, Adrian was telling me about it. Are you comfortable or happy with the way New Jersey's talked about in the rest of the country? Do you like it? Is it a point of pride? I,

Or do you not care? Does it still get talked about the way it – in the 90s, it was like constantly being bashed. It was like – I think Florida kind of took over. Florida did become the go-to easy joke to make, but New Jersey still has a reputation. I think you have a chip on your shoulder in New Jersey. Oh, yeah. I think the thing – I don't mind the Jersey reputation because it's actually really nice there, and it's kind of like a good cover. It's like, don't come to that.

Yeah. It's like I follow a lot of gardening channels. People are shocked when they go there and they go, oh, it's like really nice here. Yeah. They're like literally shocked. That's on the license plate. It says it's like Iceland. No, I've never been to Iceland, but –

that they named it Iceland to deter people from going. Yeah. Oh, like are the people the same? I'm like, I don't know. What are the people in Iceland like? Are they sarcastic? Uh,

Yeah, yes. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know where it comes from. No, really what it is is, if we're going to get real about it, North Jersey is who gets the reputation because North Jersey people are very much the New York, hey, I'm walking here kind of people, and that's the kind of like—

you know, attitude that people are referring to when they talk about Jersey. Jersey Shore. Or, yeah, a little bit Jersey Shore. The show I'm talking about. Yeah, but those people don't live at the Jersey Shore. They're from the place I'm talking about, and they go to the Jersey Shore, and that's who those people are. What? Yeah, except for the situation is from Staten Island. That doesn't even count. But South Jersey is a very different kind of meme than...

North Jersey is very in-your-face Sopranos type, right? South Jersey is Philly, which is much more like cutting and sarcastic and like, you know, it's also not friendly. But it's not what I think we get the reputation from. The reputation is from the loud, brash North Jersey, you know, that thing. And I'm from South Jersey where it's like you...

You are made to doubt everything about yourself the whole time you're like all day long. Like going to middle school in New Jersey is probably the worst experience you can have as a person. Besides like all that Hitler stuff we were talking about. But yeah. It's the most densely populated state in the U.S. Yeah. The New Jersey Turnpike is the most traveled. Sorry if that was your next. No, go ahead. Fact. Fact.

It's the most traveled highway in, I don't want to say the world, but I know it's in the United States. It's the most used highway, the Turnpike. It also has a ton of rural areas that are really pretty, so it's kind of weird, but it is, yeah, it's very densely populated.

Because Philadelphia is to the south and New York City is to the north. Yeah, there's like no break from – but there's also a lot of farms. Like we had a kid in our high school that had a – lived on a dairy farm. Yeah. It's pretty crazy. There's a guy I follow named James Prigioni. He has a food forest. He has a whole gardening channel out of New Jersey. I bet it's North Jersey. It's so great. I have no idea. With that name. No, I heard two different reasons why – I didn't hear. I looked it up. Why it's called – He seems like a very nice guy. The Garden State.

What's that? What are the reasons? The movie? Yeah. Well, there's a movie. One is because there's a lot of farmland. Yeah. Especially there was back in the 18th century when they first called it the Garden State. The other one is because it's like a garden. It's got Philly to the south, New York to the north, and it's got a lot to offer. Oh, like really garden of – I don't like that. Yeah.

You're the garden of Philly and New York. How about we're our own thing? Yeah, that's why. It's an immense barrel filled with good things to eat and open at both ends, which I don't even know. That sounds like, I don't like any of this. This is supposed to be called the barrel state. Yeah, that's more New York and Philly. That's what they're like. No, Jersey's where we let our dogs use the bathroom. Yeah. There you go.

Yeah, I don't like it. I don't like it at all. It feels like disrespect, to be honest. If you could pick to be from New York or New Jersey, what do you think you would pick? New York City or upstate New York? No, New York City. I'm saying New York City or New Jersey. You'd be Hoboken right outside. You got New Jersey or New York City. You want to walk around and say what you are. New York City. I would go New Jersey.

New York City. New York City. I'll go New York City. I think I would like New Jersey, too. You want a little... I want to be a little different. You want to be a little different. You want to be like a little bit of a...

Like a little bit of chip on each other. I think that's for the better. I think you have the least chance of being – now, I think both of them look down on all of us. So, but it's – You don't want to ask people from New Jersey what they think of the rest of the country. Yeah. That's not – but we also – What would they say? Who you doing? It's one of those – come on.

I'm sitting right here. I thought that was Julian over there. My wife, Meg always says like, when I get upset, it comes out. Like the tri-state accent starts coming out and I get, yeah. What's the third state?

It's New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania. Oh, yeah. I'm from the tri-state area. That's what a lot of people say. People say that? Yeah, we do shows. I mean, my beginning of my career was all tri-state comedy. It's all that attitude. Very similar, like confrontational, like, you know, a lot of sarcasm. Also, the difference also is New York is like...

North Jersey is very like confident and like we're the best and you're, and like, you know, get out of my way. South Jersey is very like, we're the worst and you can never make fun of us better than we can make fun of us. So it's like, we're proud of being crap.

is like our attitude. And so, and you're not so great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like we know what we are, but you're not good. You're not better than us. Philly's whole thing is you're not better than me. That's like the whole thing. That's why they don't like when things go right because they don't feel comfortable winning because they're like, now, you know, it's uncomfortable to win. We'd rather be like, you think you're better than me, but you're not. And then when we win, we're like, uh, you know. So we don't like it. How much did you go into Philly?

All the time. I mean, where I grew up was like literally 15 minutes from Philly. It's just over the bridge. I live... And right between...

My town and Philly was Camden, which is like the – I've heard of Camden. It was the murder capital of America for a long time. It's not talked about favorably, but I bet there are good people there. It's tiny. It's a tiny, tiny town, and it had like tons of – But they're putting in work. They really – Yeah. They were cleaning it up themselves. Getting after it. I don't want that kind of population boom that New Jersey has. Yeah. Yeah.

We used to drive into Camden to get beer and stuff when we were underage because they had other things they were worried about. So they didn't card kids for alcohol. Does Philly look down on New Jersey? Does Philly have any ounce of...

Like your New Jersey. Yeah. Or is it like they kind of blend it? Because to me, it really does feel like they don't really care. Like Philly probably feels like we're Jersey, basically. Like you're all just. Yeah, I would say it's not significant. It's not New York. It's not significant. It's not like how New York looks at Jersey. Yeah.

And Philly's got the same chip about New York. Yeah. So it's like, it's all one big toxic family, you know? But no, Philly, I don't get the impression that they're, if you're like hardcore, you know, South Philly, there are certain parts of Philly where those families have been there for like so many generations. They've kept the same house. There's a whole, like South Philly is amazing because it's like,

these row houses and every family has been there for like eight generations. You know, they've had the house forever. They have parking spots. Like you can't just park in South. It looks like a normal street, but it's, if you're in South Philly and you park, that's not an open spot. That's they're not home right now. And they're coming back and that's their spot. And if you park there, like people will come out and be like, what are you doing? Why are you parking? That's

Again, Julia, did you move? Oh, yeah. It's two of you. It's so good. Hey, pal, what are you doing? What are you doing? You know, you left the S. There's an S. What are you doing? What are you doing? So you can't park it? I'm trying to eat a hoagie.

Well, you mean me a while. They'll double park in the middle of the street because there's not enough parking spots and you just know everybody's car. So you just go, oh, that's John's car. I got to go knock on his door and tell him to move his car so I can get my car out. That's the kind of neighborhood. I like that. Yeah. But I mean, if you're just. And those people look down on you. Like, you can't say you're from Philly to those people. Yeah. But like, you know, regular Philly people are like more recent Philly people. They don't care.

I don't care. So a person driving around might be like, go to me and my house, and you'd park just in an open spot. And it's like something's going to happen to your car, or they're going to come knock on the door. Where do you park? Huh? I mean, what do you do? Yeah, that's the whole thing. You don't park. Where do you park? You can't park. You can't go figure it out. You can't park. Not here. You got to go to like...

Like there's a Vietnamese enclave right near South Philly. You got to go park over there and then walk back. Enclave is a funny word. And I had to do that in high school, and that was my Vietnam. It's the only state where you can't pump your own gas. Yeah. Meg gets so weirded out by that. We were just in Jersey last week, and she got out of the car, and I was like, you can't get out of the car. They get mad. They don't like it.

Yeah. What's the reason? I support it. I wish all, I wish everywhere did it. Is it because they think we're flammable liquid? Well, the weird thing is growing up, learning how to drive in New Jersey and then going, this happens to every New Jersey person. Yeah. You grow up, you learn how to drive in New Jersey and then the first time you go to another state,

you just sit in your car at the gas pump for like 10 minutes and you're like, these people are so slow. Yeah. And then you've got to realize, oh, I'm supposed to do this? You're like, I don't know how to do this. I never got trained to work at the gas station. You know, you like think it's scary the first time. That seems crazy. I don't know why it's like that. I honestly never looked it up. I don't know. No, I think it seems crazy that they just trust us with the flammable liquid just to do it ourselves. Yeah, I think you're right. I think 49 states are wrong. Yeah.

Jersey has a right. Yeah. Yeah. I agree with you. I don't think they're wrong to trust me with it, but I would appreciate it. It's nice. I would appreciate it. It is nice. When you go to New Jersey and get your gas, you're always like, this is where it should be. Yeah, yeah. You just sit there and they do it. It's like Mayberry. Do you just hand them your credit card? You can pay that way. They also accept cash and some contactless payments.

But did they put it in the pump themselves? Yeah. They take your card. They take your card. They run your card, and then they give it back to you. And they also make a copy of your card when you're not looking, and then they give it back to you. What's your zip code? Wawa. Big, big improvement was when Wawa started having gas stations. There's two times in history. What was Wawa before that? In New Jersey history. There's before Wawa. Huh?

You said when Wawa started having gas stations, so it was Wawa. Before they were just like a 7-Eleven. They just had water. Just water. Just water, that's what they called it. But sandwiches. When did they get the gas stations? Probably like early 2000s, I think. Mid-2000s. Recently. Yeah, recently. So you could still go in and get your sandwiches. Oh, there's still Wawa's. Wawa was like, I mean, I remember Jay –

It would be like going to Bucky's. It's like you got to go. I'm seriously, I'm not just saying this for the podcast. I'm seriously getting a Wawa tattoo next week. It's a crane, it's a bird logo. What face did he make when I said that? I wasn't looking at him. It's ridiculous. Hey, I'm not getting it somewhere. I'm getting it on my neck.

Because you love Wawa that much. I love Wawa. I just feel, you know, certain businesses, yours is probably like plant poison or something. Pesticides. Pesticides. You walk in. It'd be a herbicide. Herbicide. I'm so sorry. This is like DuPont. Yeah. It's like whatever's on a NASCAR. And you just feel like super...

You just can breathe. You're just like, I'm home. This feels great. I know where everything is. I know what I can get. I'm excited, but I'm like. That's how I feel holding a can of weed killer. Oh, yeah. I'm home. I'm excited. I can do whatever. I'm about to get a weed killer tattoo, matter of fact. What's that going to look like? Yeah, it's going to be just a can of weed killer, me spraying a weed, and then I'll have a before and after, and then it'll be just an after of the dead weed. Yeah, yeah.

That's fun. Yeah. Yeah. So it's going to be like panel. Yeah. Okay. Comic strip. That's cool. Oh yeah. You got to flip dusty real fast. Yeah. Yeah.

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Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. Uh, they banned plastic bags in New Jersey. Did you know that? I didn't know that. Yeah. I don't like it. 2022. I love a plastic bag. Yeah. They're so versatile. Hmm.

Did you know Newark was the car theft capital of the world? New York? Newark. Oh, Newark. At one time? No, but my car got stolen when I was at Rutgers, and I got a ticket a week later with a picture of my car going through a toll into Newark.

And so it was like they sent me like, hey, look, this guy took your car. Here he is driving your car into Newark. It was pretty funny because he didn't pay the toll. So I got the ticket for him. That's very funny. Did you have to pay the ticket?

I did not have to pay the ticket. Yeah. But I took the ticket to the police station and they were like, yeah, this isn't, we can't catch the guy. Yeah. Because a week ago he went through a toll. So that car just gone. Oh yeah, it was way gone. Yeah. Yeah. It was a. I love that they just laugh at you. Like, you want us to do an investigation? That is.

That is not an exaggeration. The cops will laugh at you in New Jersey. They'll laugh at you in a lot of places. Yeah, I guess so. It's more of an American thing. Did you guys say down the shore? Yes. I didn't even know that was bad. It's not bad, but it's not... Yeah, down the shore. And what would that mean? I guess you guys say the beach or whatever, but it's the beach. We're going to the beach. We don't say we're going to the beach. Going down the shore. Even if you're going up?

yeah you know what i mean uh it's no it's more like an attitude wow you're going down the shore it's more like them this guy's the best why is it so fun that you want to be from new jersey i love it i found is it i believe i'm hosting the 6 30 show at the other room uh it's good to see you man yeah absolutely i hope i get to see i mean i'll see you in a

That's a good Jersey accent, by the way. Aaron, who's the... It's not really from Jersey. It's like... It's the attitude. Yeah, it's great. Who's the most famous person from New Jersey? Bruce Springsteen. Whitney Houston. Frank Sinatra. Frank Sinatra. Oh, okay. I thought Bruce Springsteen would be the obvious answer. No, I think Frank...

I don't know that everybody knows he's... He's from Hoboken. Well, I know he is, but I'm saying if you're not from there, I think anybody in America... But is he the most famous now? I mean, you might say 20 years ago, everybody, but it's like... Yeah, it might be Snooki now.

is that yeah like honestly like you asked uh an age it changes over time but i think historically the most famous person from new jersey is probably frank sinatra and then it would be bruce springsteen i guess and then bon jovi yeah oh bon jovi yeah uh i love bon jovi yeah i can't stand bon jovi really i can't stand him never could yeah living on a prayer man

Yeah, I liked that song a lot when it came out. I'm not going to say – but that's different than The Man. You know what I mean? That's the song. Yeah, I don't want to be his buddy. No. No, but I like his music. Yeah.

And then, yeah, Whitney Houston's from Newark. Okay. Yeah. Evan Costello from New Jersey. I mean, that's going. I didn't even know we had New Jersey back then. Yeah. Let me bring it back for you. Bruce Willis, John Travolta. Oh, I forgot. Wow. Bruce Willis is a good one. John Travolta. I forgot about that. I love John Travolta. Yeah. I just watched Pulp Fiction last night. Yeah. They don't like each other very much in that movie. Not in that movie. No. They're kind of enemies because he, yeah, he keys his car.

Well, I was going to... I'm sorry, Aaron, you're not here for this. Hoboken is the birthplace of baseball. Ooh. I didn't know that. Yep. Very first baseball game. Every time I hear Hoboken, I just hear Hoboken. Like from Street Fighter. Hoboken. Like every time in my head, that's... You know how you get like a twitch like that? I remember going to Hoboken to do a show for the first time. Hoboken. And I was like, I couldn't believe... Like I was like... It was just like crazy to me to go to Hoboken. What was crazy? Hoboken.

Just the idea of it. The idea of it. It was like, hey, I got a show on Hobo. Because it seems so far. Well, yeah, because I think it'd probably be like Europe and where they talk about

They talk about going to another state like it's... Or another country. Another country like it's nothing. Right. So it's like the idea that you're like, all right, I just started a show in Hoboken and you're like, it's another state. Yeah, I know what you mean. It just, you know, it's like hard to wrap your head around that you're just going to go to another state and then come right back that night. When I would come, sorry, stay with you in New York...

I stayed with my friends who lived in Hoboken. And the first time I went, I felt misled because they gave me their... I'm like, no, I'm going to New York. Yeah. I'm not going to... Yeah. And then I get to their place and you could literally see the skyline from their window. It's one train stop. Yeah. It's closer than my house. Yeah. You think that's where the term hobo comes from? Hoboken?

Hoboken's like a nice area though. But maybe back in the day. Maybe back in the day. I don't know that either. Because you're like on the East Coast. Maybe you're working. I don't know where Hoboken comes from. Is Artie from New Jersey? Artie Lane? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, right? And so he's from Hoboken. Yeah. Super New Jersey. Yeah. Yeah.

First college football game was in New Jersey? Was that Rutgers? Rutgers against College of New Jersey. Is that where the Stress Factory is at? Yeah, New Brunswick. Yeah, because I was there. Ohio State was playing Rutgers when I was there, and it was... Oh, really? I think so. It was a big one. We weren't playing Ohio State when I went to college. It was not even close to Rutgers. I mean, I think so. There was a bunch of people in the restaurant I was in doing the OHIO. Oh, no, I'm sure they're doing it now. I'm just saying the...

the football program exploded after I left. Mm-hmm.

But, yeah, New Brunswick's weird. New Brunswick's not north or south. New Brunswick's central, which is like we have no idea what those people are. I don't know what that personality is. I don't know. It's like Princeton and where's Princeton? Yeah, like Princeton's closer to South Jersey, but it's like, yeah, like Princeton, New Brunswick. I don't even know which towns they are. Like I don't even know what to call them. How long of a drive is it from South Jersey all the way through the state? To New York City? Yeah. Yeah.

Two, I just did it. Like 2.20. Okay. Two hours, 20 minutes. Yeah. Do you know the capital? It's Seven Wawa's. Seven Wawa's. Yeah. I feel like this would be one of the toughest ones to name the capital. I mean, I assume you know. Oh, I know, but what could I name it? I would not have gotten this. New Jersey capital. I don't know if I know. New Jersey city? I'll give you the slogan for the town and then you can guess.

It's the town makes, the world takes. The town makes, the world takes? Yeah, the name of the town makes because it used to be a manufacturing hub.

So they used to make everything and then the world would take it. Port City. I'm just guessing. Yeah, I don't know. I made that up. You're right. It's Port City, New Jersey. Nailed it. Trenton. Trenton. Oh, Trenton. Trenton makes the world takes. Port City doesn't sound so bad, though. No, it was a good guess. Is there one specific thing they made? It's a made-up city. Yeah. What? Is it a completely made-up city? No, I think they made a lot of...

Adrian might know. It doesn't sound bad, but it is a major. Was Trenton known for making something? I don't think it was just oyster crackers. No, they used to make like steel, all this stuff. They used to make all this, like so much stuff. I don't know what they were famous for, but Trenton is a nightmare. All right. So there's one major league sports team that New Jersey in the title. One major league sports team? The Devils. Yeah. The Devils. Yeah. Do you guys, you know how they got their name, the Devils?

The Jersey Devil. So you know it's well-known, the Jersey Devil? Yeah, it's like the Bigfoot of New Jersey, but it's scarier. Yeah. Do you know about this, Dusty? No. You don't know about the Jersey Devil? No, I never heard this. I'm really into it, though. It's a fictional creature. Is it fictional? Supposedly. A lot of people have seen it. Okay, sorry. I forgot where I'm at. It's a thing that's probably real. It's like a creature in the Pine Barrens.

I'm doing it. I'm sorry. Sorry. In the Pine Barrens that it's like, I think it's supposed to be reminiscent of like a large, this is how I always pictured it. I don't know. Like a large Wolverine, like a, you know, like Wolverines are smaller than you think they're going to be. It's like,

I picture like a big dog, but a wolverine. And it's like that kind of creature. Do they describe it or what it's supposed to be? Yeah, I think I saw. Yeah, let's see. I think that's right. What kind of description do you have? Well, I don't have a description. Aaron, can you pull it up? Like a... Brian's gone. But I think... What do you use? Here's his version of Bigfoot. Yeah. Like a big dog, like a big wolverine, but like a dog. Mm-hmm.

And it's supposedly like aggressive. It's not like Bigfoot where you're like, you can't ever get a picture of it. It's like, it's coming for you. So that's why you don't go into the Pine Barrens. And it's been seen for centuries and enough to where they named their team after it. Pine Barrens, if you don't remember, is where they got lost in the Sopranos for that whole episode when they were. Oh, wait. Remember when Pauly and what's his name?

Yeah. Michael Impario. They killed. They killed a guy out there, but then they can't find their way back out. Christopher. Christopher. Yeah. We don't know if they killed that guy. No. Is there they killed Adrian too? Do they always go out to those trees? I'm annoyed. I haven't watched it in a while. I don't remember. I don't think they took her to the Pine Barrens. It was out in the country though. Yeah. Christopher. Pauline Christopher. Yeah, that's right. You're right.

So then, yeah, they got lost in the Pine Barrens. Yeah. And that's close to down the shore. The Pine Barrens are like before you get to the water. There's like a whole area of like low trees and like sand bottom floor. It goes forever down.

And you don't want to get caught out there because it's like, it's so disorienting. There's no way to tell which way you're going. It's very weird. It's all uniform. It looks the same. Yeah, that's how the woods are. Yeah, it's scary. It's like if the woods grew in a desert. That's what it looks like. Yeah, it's like you got to like follow the sun or like walk. You always want to walk. That's why you have, if you have a compass. That'll help. We just call it a compass. What do you say? How do you say it?

I don't say that. Yeah. What do you say? Compass makes me like uncomfortable when you said that. What do you say? Compass. Compass. Okay, I say compass. I said compass. Yeah. But you can choose to like fix it. Yeah, but I don't think I'm wrong though. Is this what it's like? This is what it's like. Yeah. And...

Sounds like you could use some direction. Yeah, because you always want to walk in, you know, you want to stay walking in one direction. Because you get turned around, you're like, oh, now I want to go this way. And you just keep walking yourself in a circle. Yeah. Never get out of there. So you just see the sun and you just make sure you're going. Yeah. What about at night?

A little tougher at night. Hopefully you climb a tree and can sleep up there on a branch. They got a breed of biting fly out there in the Pine Barrens that is so painful. It's like a fly that's like this big. And when it bites you, it feels like you got bit by an animal. It's crazy. Oh, wow. And they live in the sand. And so if you start getting nailed by those, it's like, get me out of here. But then you're like, where do I go? You don't get out of your car. It's crazy. Oh, so they have a thing you can drive through it?

It's the road. There's one road to the thing, and the Pine Barren's on either side, and there's nothing for a long time. You run out of gas. So it's sand? It's sand on the ground, and then trees. So there's soil under there somewhere, but the top level is sandy. Wow. Yeah. That's pretty. So it's hard to walk because you can't get a grip. It's terrible.

And that's where the Jersey Devil lives. And he's apparently good at hockey or something. I want to ask you about some foods from New Jersey. Please. Pork roll? Oh, I love it. Some people call it Taylor ham. Yeah. In Philly, it's pork roll. The Philly area. But up north, it's Taylor ham? Taylor ham. And it's...

Yeah, it's just like, it comes in a log, like a huge sausage, and then you cut slices, put it with eggs and cheese, and it's a breakfast sandwich. Pork roll, egg and cheese with ketchup. Very salty. Very salty, but then you also get salt, pepper, ketchup on it, and it's like the best breakfast sandwich you'll ever have. It's incredible. Sounds good. Yeah. It's like so bad for you. It's all we ate in college, and we're like, we had hearts of like 50-year-old men by sophomore year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, the Trenton tomato pies. You know that? I don't know what that is. Yeah. It's probably more very specific. Saltwater taffy. Yeah. Saltwater taffy is like an Atlantic city thing. Uh, you get it down the shore. I, do you like saltwater taffy? Uh, I don't, I think it's kind of weird. Yeah. I don't love it. Um,

I only know Laffy Taffy. You remember that? Yeah. That was good. It's still around. I'll tell you something. Laffy Taffy is great. Is that not what saltwater taffy is? No, it's very different. It's like more airy and like lighter. I don't know. There's a food you probably didn't find that's a fun one. All right. Because I don't think it's on the internet much. But at Rutgers, it's a local thing. They're called fat sandwiches. And it was like, it's a hoagie, but like a long roll. But they would put, it was the first place to put like,

Chicken fingers, french fries, tomato sauce, cheese, and mayonnaise. That's like a fat... That's like called a fat sal. And then you do like...

There's gyro meat, cheese fries, gyro sauce, lettuce, tomato, onion, and mozzarella sticks. And that's a Fat Elvis. And it's like, so it's like they have like 19 different ones. They're called Fat Sandwiches. And they're like, that's a very New Jersey thing to do. I like a Fat Sandwich. I'm into a sandwich with some fries. Can you imagine drinking until two and then like these trucks sell these things? It's like, it's unreal. Yeah.

I would like it during the day. Yeah. They would go, and they would yell. The guys are great. They're all Middle Eastern guys. They're like, hey, buddy, get over here. Hey, buddy, buddy. And so they catcall you. They see you walking down. They go, hey, maybe you get a fat sow. And you're like, I think I will have a fat sow. So it's tough to avoid. We already mentioned Sopranos. I was going to mention TV shows sitting around.

Sopranos and Breaking Bad are probably my two top two shows. Yeah. Breaking Bad's not in New Jersey. I know that, but I, let me, do you like Sopranos or are you too close to home to? I love the Sopranos. I think it's like top two shows. That's what I just said. Breaking Bad. Yeah. I like the Breaking Bad from New Jersey though. Yeah. Yeah. It's a different version. Uh,

What about Beyond the Pines, the movie? Is that set in New Jersey? You would think with that... I watched that and I think I got bored. Which one? Beyond the Pines. I think that's in upstate New York. I need to probably watch it again. What is it? I liked it. It's a show? It's almost like two different... Yeah, it's kind of crazy. The Ryan Gosling one? Yeah. Oh, I love that movie. Yeah. I need to re-watch it again because I think I watched it with not...

that is something and then you're like, what? Yeah. I think it's pretty deep. Yeah. It's pretty deep. Yeah. It's crazy. It's really good though. I just, it made me think of that. The first hour's more action than the second hour. With the pines of New Jersey. Yeah. I thought that too. There's got to be a movie about these pines. I never heard of this. The Pine Barrens? Pines growing up out of sand. I never heard of this. That's why it's called The Pine Barrens. I'm very into this now.

Yeah, it's a crazy spot, man. And the Sopranos, they get lost there in the winter in the snow. And it's like, I can't imagine. If you know that area, you're like, these guys aren't going to make it. It's crazy. It's crazy that you can be so near cities and

And then you go to this area that like you could literally die in, in a, in because it's so desolate and hard to find your way out. Um, that's that close to, but I guess if you're living like Phoenix, you're used to that. Cause you could go out there in the desert and die immediately also. Yeah. But people don't think of Jersey as having that, but it does. I think that's one of the most talked about episodes because it's not clear. It's considered like the, but I think it's the one that won the Emmy or whatever. But that Russian, it's not a hundred percent sure that he died. Yeah.

What do you mean? He escaped from them. Oh, right. Yeah. They shot at him. Right. And then when Tony finally picks him up, like, is he dead? And he's like, yeah. You're like, yeah. But you never know for sure. Well, they don't realize how tough Russians are. You can, a shot Russian can get out of there better. But he never comes back and play. He never does. But it's one of those open-ended ones. Like, is he ever going to come back? Yeah. No, he's the one that kills him in the diner at the end. Sorry. I didn't mean to. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I love The Sopranos. Boardwalk Empire? Love Boardwalk. I always say Boardwalk Empire is my favorite, most boring show of all time. Yeah. The pacing is so bad. It's so slow. That's what these shows are now. It's like, if you would just make it a movie, then you wouldn't need to really draw it out. But I've watched Boardwalk Empire all the way through three times, and I...

I love it. Nick Novicki's that good. The third time I watched it, I forgot. It had been so long, I forgot Nick was in it. Yeah. And then I watched it. And this is just how we know we live in a simulation. I watched it. And then the next day, I was on tour and Nick was on the show. Oh, wow. And I was like starstruck for a second. Yeah. I was like, oh my God. Yeah. Because you're in the show. I'm binging right now. Yeah. I can't believe I can touch him. Yeah. You know what I mean? He's like, it was crazy. He doesn't like you touching him. He doesn't. Yeah. Yeah.

Some movies from there. Garden State, we already referenced. You like Garden State? No. You hate it? I like that movie. Who was in that? What was that movie? Zach Braff, Natalie Portman. Yeah, you know, I had not watched it in a long time. I think now I've watched it. A Scarsguard was in it. It was being very melodramatic, I think, because Zach Braff is pretty... It's just so cringey. It's like, I can't imagine something you would like less because it's like...

saying your feelings out loud to people in conversation over and over again. And it's like, it would be your worst nightmare. I liked it back then. I think the poster and stuff would...

I remember the advertising was really good for it. And then, yeah, but it's a movie where you just got to listen to them tell each other. I fell for it the first time I saw it. I was like, this is an amazing movie. So I shouldn't watch it again. Go for it. Because I did like it. Yeah. But I feel like sometimes you go back and you go, I was at a different emotional place. Oh, you got to listen to like someone whine. They're going to be whining about, is it like John Cusack movies?

Yeah. Let's be careful. Yeah. Is he from New Jersey? No, but I just love his movies. Yeah, I like his movies too, but it's like where it's... But it's like so much... Like High Fidelity is a great movie, but he's crying the whole time. Yeah, he's like... Oh, I can't watch that one. But you don't even understand... And you're like... Now you watch it, you're like, oh my gosh. I know. Look, 2012, it was unbelievable. Yeah. I thought it was great in 2012. Yeah. But I think you just change as you get older. You go like, I can't listen to...

It's a younger person that thinks, you see a kid now. Their world has fallen apart, and you're like, you know that you're watching a kid go, you're never going to even remember this part of your life. Exactly. But it's the most important part of your life. And that's what those movies kind of feel like. Yep. And so they're playing to just that group. But some of those movies do it in a way that you can watch it when you're older, and it's still good. And some of them do it in a way where you're like, I can't even.

I got to watch it now. Yeah. I just got to. Nate Land podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep. You're listening to us talk while you're driving, cleaning, exercising or even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you can be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance. It's easy and you can save money by doing it right from your phone.

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Visit Safeway.com for more details. I wonder if, uh... Do people watch that... What's the, uh...

The vampire movie or the... Twilight? Yeah. Do people go back and watch those? Because those were so specific at a time. I think there's a extreme cringe level to those movies now that is very like talked about online. That people kind of, they either revisit it or young people watch them now because somebody told them to. And the way they make fun of those movies is like, it's brutal. It does not hold up.

Yeah, because those were the biggest movies in the world. Yeah, it was huge. I took a nap. So it was Times Square. You remember in New York, you'd get stuck in New York somewhere and you're like, you're so tired or whatever. You have to use the bathroom. You can't go home. It'd take you forever to get home or whatever. So I remember I was at work. I did some TV show thing and then I was like, I had to kill four hours. I'm in Times Square and I needed to take a nap. So I just went to a movie theater in Times Square and I was like, I'll just take whatever movie's open.

So I go in and I sit down and I go to fall asleep in the front row. It was empty when I got there. And then I was really early. And then I wake up and the theater is packed. I mean, it is sold out.

And I'm like, what's going on? And I look around me and it's just totally packed and it's twilight. But I don't know what twilight is. I have no idea what's going on. All I know is these people are acting so weird. And they're laughing at things that I don't get are funny because they're laughing from the book. You know what I mean? And stuff like that. Anyway, it was so funny. And then the lights came on and everyone was a 16-year-old girl and I was like the only guy in there because I –

Because I went in there for a nap and woke up in the middle of twilight. That was a good sleep. It was a good sleep. Well, you don't hear people loading in. No. That's a... I was out. Like 16-year-old girls? I didn't get into the details of how bad I needed to sleep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You weren't in the... I was just saying those parents would not have wanted you around. All those kids at that point. They were too young to breathe the air I was breathing out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We probably need to wrap it up. Yeah.

We've got a show about to start here. Yeah, yeah. I think we should. Yeah. But he has – yeah. Yeah.

Because, yeah, because at the end, I felt like you were just asking Joyce, what's the kind of food y'all eat over there? I think that's important. Huh? I think that's important. I did go to high school in New Jersey, and then my mom moved to Tennessee. And so I used to come here in the summers to like Hendersonville and Nashville in the early 90s. Yeah, it's crazy. Did you live in California for a while? I connected to both of these states. I did when I was like a child child, when I was really young. This was high school. Daniel LaRusso was from New Jersey, and then he moved to California. Yeah.

We talk about it all the time. Yeah. Similar experience. Same path. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, thanks for having me, guys. Yeah. Yeah. We can wrap up. Yeah.

I'd like to say, though, that I'll be in Kansas City this weekend. No, we're good to do that. I didn't know what you guys had going on here. So where are you going to be? Well, I'm in Kansas City at the Funny Bone. Used to be the Improv, now the Funny Bone. I sold out three shows, and then we added a show. So now we need to sell tickets to that show. Oh, it will. So I'm pumped. Never sold this many tickets in Kansas City. Very exciting. Pumped about it. That's great. Julia? Julia?

Oh, I'm going to be on Fallon. Oh, yeah. I'm doing the Tonight Show. All right. On August 20th, which is soon. Soon. I better get a set. Yeah. That's what you better do tonight. August 20th. Oh, wait. I'm not supposed to talk about it yet. I don't...

I think it's fine. We'll see. I think it's fine. It's so close now, it's not going to change. Yeah. And if, yeah, we think tentatively right now it's August 20th. Yeah. And if it doesn't happen, then just don't tell Fallon. I'll get in trouble for it too because I know because I talk to Mike Cox. So anyway, and I won't say who the other guest is, but it's a pretty fun, exciting big guest who's on the show.

It's a Tony Hawk. You're like, I don't know if I should talk about it, but now you're like, let me give some more details. Now you're doing too much. I know. I don't know, but it's taped near Fallon's house. It rhymes with Samuel Namrusso. Yeah. So, yeah, I'll be on Fallon on August 20th, and then we're doing, and I'll be opening for Nate on tour. Yeah, yeah, we'll be Foxwoods. Well, this weekend I'm in the Great Outdoors Comedy Festival in Canada, and then we got the Moline, Illinois. Moline, Illinois.

Fargo. Look at us. Look at us. The Michigan. The Michigan. And the Minneapolis State Fair. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I am off this weekend. Ruth is here. Could not be working. Yeah. Get the office of Dusty because Dusty always says he could be working. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you go, I'm off this weekend. Could not find anything. Looking for a book. Well, yeah. Yeah. Kind of stepped on my joke, but I won't.

I have none, but Ruth will be here this weekend at Zany's at Lucy's Baby Shower. So she wanted me to promote her date. I won't be here, but Ruth will. But August 14th, I'll be here at the Lab at Zany's for the Brian Bates and Friends show. A few tickets left for that.

August 24th in Atlanta at Vision Studios and August 29th through 31st St. Louis at the Funny Bone, St. Charles Funny Bone. Yeah, I was just there. Great room. All right. Well, we love you. Hope you have a great week. See you next week. Bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform.

Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.

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