228: #228 Road Trips with the Nickersons
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today's episode of the nateland podcast is brought to you by mountain dew aura frames draft kings and chime hello folks and hey bear i don't know why the tone of your voice i don't know like do you want to be here i'm happy you're here i'm trying to bring nate and i'm hello folks hey there

Brian Bates. Another day just doing my dream job. I'm excited to be here. Hello, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber. Now you're overdoing it.

Dustin Nickerson, who was just maybe the quickest returning guest we've ever had. Nice. People said, we want Dustin back. I don't think they said that. Some of them might have. Just here last month. Some of them said the complete opposite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll get to those in the comments. Good. Oh, good. And returning Melissa Nickerson. Hey there. That one they're happy about. They are happy about that. They're happy to see you, Mel. You know, you guys were our first guest on.

On this table. In the new space? Yeah, the new space. Broken in. Nice. Even though that kind of aired as a don't make me come back there episode. Yeah. You guys broke it in. We did both. It was a Nate land too. It was. It was a crossover, but they... We hosted a bit. Yeah. Yeah, they made it a... A little cross-pollinization. Yeah.

I worked in a corporate setting. Yeah. I mean, I might be the first six-syllable word ever used on this podcast. I think it's technically a hyphenated word, so does it count as the one? I think you still add up the syllables. Yeah. Listen, I'm just trying to impress Notre Dame right here. Oh, stop that. You're making me blush. I can't believe. I mean, all due respect to Bates, but your ads are so good. That ad read was phenomenal. Thanks, dude.

Thanks, man. Really strong. Hey, man. It feels good. It feels good to hit it. You know what I mean? What do you mean? We haven't done them yet. Oh, yeah. Sorry. I just get a sense. You just get a sense.

You can feel it coming. Son of an educator and all due respect to Middle Tennessee University. Middle Tennessee State University. Thank you very much. Yeah, sorry. You got to qualify even more. I know. MTSU. I'm the Middle Tennessee's kid. Nate is on. I'm sorry. I missed that. Is that a joke? The Middle Tennessee kid is so funny. Oh, that's fantastic. That's the Middle Tennessee kid.

The new running joke on the podcast now is all that Brian's tour is called the easier to drive tour because all his gigs, it's just like, you should just drive there. Yeah. It's all within a four hour driving. Yeah. One, one tank of gas to her. Yeah. I also call it sometimes the Dustin Nickerson five years ago tour. Yeah.

I do like that. God willing. Dustin's down here. It could very well be the Dustin Nickerson five years from now tour. That's right. You never know. Life comes at you fast. Nate is on his way. He wants people to know he's on his way. He'll get here. So don't stop watching just because these people are here. Nate and I will run this podcast. We'll do a great job.

He'll get here when he gets here. Yeah. Yep. That is true, Melissa. That is like such a mom. No, I think it's from a movie or something. Okay.

when I get there. It's actually, I mean, that's a good tease for what this episode is going to be about later. Oh, that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah, road trips. We'll get there when we get there. Yeah. Yeah. You know, that's what you're screaming at your kids. Yeah. Yeah. Syllogisms. Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. We don't know what a syllogism is, Karen. Hold on. Not a syllogism. Simile? No, I know that one. Tautology? Yeah, it sounds like tautology to me. Hold on. No, no, no.

There's one term that's just like a self-evident statement, like the subject in the... Soliloquy. Soliloquy is up there. I'm just saying big words that I know. Yeah, where it's like the color red is red, where it's just a self-evident statement. There's this term for it. I can't remember. I'm sorry. Sorry I brought it up, everybody. This is the kind of stuff Nate shuts down quick. This is like the philosophy 101 majors. Okay.

That's true. And I was a philosophy student. I have a philosophy question for you. Yes, go ahead. No, no, no. Later when we get into the topic. I have a philosophy question for you. Dusty. Actually, this opened with a philosophy issue of Brian going, why am I here? That's right. We've already dabbled with issues of existential dread on the podcast. It usually takes about 15 minutes to get into that. Yeah. We're off to the races today.

Dusty is not here. He could be. He just doesn't care for Melissa. He does, yeah. He always skips my episodes. He doesn't think women should host podcasts. Or be guests on podcasts. Me neither, honestly. He does a podcast with his wife. I'm going to make that clear before people hop in the comments.

All right, so let's talk about where we were this weekend. Let's get into it, man. Where were you, Brian? I haven't seen you in a while, man. I was in Huntington, Tennessee. Middle Tennessee kid. I ventured to West Tennessee, though. Oh, wow. Getting out there, man. Where's Huntington? It's about two hours west of here. Is there like a reference city? Kind of north of Jackson a little bit.

I like when you do... Memphis? I don't know. I'm kidding. I like when you do cities that are so small that it's not the first one you think of when you say that. Like when you say Huntington, I'm like, California. Like Huntington Beach, California. Oh, I didn't. West Virginia. Oh, even more the point. We thought of two more before we thought of the state you live in. Is there Huntington, West Virginia, or am I crazy?

Yeah, that's where Marshall is, right? Okay, maybe. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny. I didn't even know there was California. Yeah. But you're in Huntington, Tennessee. Yeah. Where did I do last week that y'all were making fun of me of? Basically, I'm not sure.

I mean, dude, well, you did Westchester's Bakersville, Oklahoma or something. That was Bartlesville. Bartlesville, Oklahoma. I did somewhere last week. Bartlesville is a drugstore, I think. That would be funny in a second. Yeah. Oh, it was... You did the Chuckle Hut in Applesford, Kentucky. London, Kentucky. They said their thing was it's the fourth largest London in the United States. Yeah.

This week I'm playing New York City, Louisiana. I mean, he's from Lebanon, Tennessee. Is that one? There you go. How did you say? I was at the Dixie Carter Performing Arts Center. Oh, my God. Dixie Carter from Designing Women? That's awesome. You guys know Designing Women? No. I know Henry Cho was on it. Yeah.

Yep. And I was there with Henry. I wasn't even headlining. I was there opening for Henry Cho. Well, that's awesome. It's a great theater and we had a great time. Met a lot of folks. So that's all I did this weekend. Good deal. It's a really cool theater. Some of those theaters in small towns like that are pretty great.

I was in St. Louis yesterday at the Helium Comedy Club. My scheduled shows. Oh, that rescheduled one, right? Yeah, shows that are rescheduled because of the baby. They moved them. Almost everybody transferred their tickets. A lot of people did not. The shows were both sold out, and then they moved the date, and they were both pretty packed. They were both great. That's good.

I mean, a 4 p.m. show, and they were, like, hot. They had an electricity to them. It was just fun. What a great town. A lot of great podcast listeners came out. Just a good time. People give gifts for the baby now. So cool. That's awesome. It's really great. After the show, Lucy will text me, like, what did we get? Like, what did we get? Yeah. Oh, I had a fan last night at my show ask if I was going to get to see your baby. Yeah.

They're like, are you guys going to Nashville? Are you going to see all of them? I'm not sure. We were going to. We were going to bring you guys lunch today. Oh, that would have been great. I know, but the flight, we thought we were recording at 6, but it was 4. We just couldn't do it today. I used to live right by the airport, five minutes from the airport, which I'm learning trying to sell the house.

Other people aren't as thrilled about it as I was. Selling point for you. Yeah. I was like, well, this is going to go off the market quick, dude. It's right by the airport. And the planes get so low. It'll shock you how low they get. But was it very loud?

It'll shake the house, honestly. I used to live very close to there and I didn't really notice it. And they don't have, you had the joke, right? Or the, that you talked about Orange County, they have the regulation, right? Of when planes can land, but national doesn't have that. Well, I didn't live in that kind of neighborhood where we have any influence over the sky. They go around. Yeah. Yeah. My,

My neighborhood, we're still working on the ground. But once we get that taken care of, we'll start working on the sky. Well, that's awesome. Yeah. Well, the shows went great. Thank you to everybody that came. That was like my last show.

That got messed up. Messed up is the wrong word. That got adjusted because of the baby. Right. I don't regret having a child. Rescheduled. Yeah. There you go. Siliquid. I'm not sad about things. I want to make that very clear. Okay. I'm happy they worked out the way they did. Yes. Is that enough? Mm-hmm. Okay. We don't. We don't.

We understand. It's a reschedule. No. I'm kidding. Everything's great. Yeah. Everything's great. What have you all been up to, man? I haven't seen you all in forever. I'm going to go. Yeah, what was your weekend? I was trying to see Wicked with my teen and tween daughters. I wanted to kind of do something before I left for a day. And then they were like, we already planned it. We just need rides. Whoa. Yeah.

Welcome to parenting older children. So the 10-year-olds went to one theater with one mom. And then the three 15-year-olds I took to another theater. And then they were like, you can go now. But I need money for dinner. And then I went home and

So you thought this would be a fun mother and children movie? I want to see it. It's two hours and 40 minutes. That's pretty long. Super long movie. And it's only the first half.

There's a part two in a year. Spoiler alert. Oh, man. That's common knowledge on the internet. Is the part two just The Wizard of Oz? No. No, no, no. That's the part three. Part three is The Wizard of Oz. This is the backstory. So it's just like Star Wars. Star Wars started at three. Right? Exactly. Oh, that's true. No, Star Wars started at four. So is it canon, though? Is it like considered...

Right? Is it authorized by whoever wrote Wizard of Oz, the book? Well, I'm thinking they're probably not alive anymore. That's probably true. But I know the Wicked the Broadway musical has been popular for like 20 years. Right. Ish. So it was originally a book. Why don't they call the movie Wicked 1? Just let everybody know there's another one coming. Or just Wick. Yeah.

And then id. Id. I know. I wonder what they'll call the second one. Wicked 2? It's got to be Wicked 2. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wicked. It's kind of frustrating. Yeah, it's not Rocky 1. Is that the way they do the Broadway? I guess that's the way they do it. Do they do the Broadway musical in two parts too? Well, just the intermission. Like Friday night is Wicked and then. No. So they did the whole musical in about that, like under three hours. And then they made the movie, you know, super long. Oh.

So they added a lot. They added a lot. Yeah, according to my daughters. I haven't seen it. Okay. Is it getting good? I mean, I've heard a lot of hype about this. I go to Target. They got displays up everywhere. Yeah, my daughters enjoyed it. Okay. They did say it was long, though. Yeah. It's a long movie. It sounds like they're doing what they did with The Hobbit, where they're like, this is three movies. And you're like, is it? Yeah.

Because it wasn't, it was actually the shortest of the books. Yeah. And those were each one movie. I guess I get it. I remember thinking like when they announced they were going to split the last Harry Potter movie up into two movies. Yeah. I was like, awesome. Yeah. Take your time with it. Yeah. So if you like Wicked, if you like this stuff, it's like, yeah, make it 10 movies. Right. They did the same thing with Avengers. Yeah.

Right? Well, no, no. The actual finale because Endgame and Infinity War are considered one piece. And Dusty's not here because he's at Wicked right now. It's a long movie. By himself.

In costume. He took off. Yep. Then he's going to go home and watch The Hobbit and Harry Potter. That's right. He's going to get into it. A lot of things Dusty would love. Yeah, yeah. His three favorite. So that's awesome. Yeah. That's what I have to look forward to. Yeah. You do. And you just take what you can get. Yeah. You just wanted to see Wicked. You just want to go to a movie. They had a blast and I'm happy for them. Do you have rivalries with other parents? Like that mom that got to go with the kids?

Oh, well, that was the funny thing is what happens is the kids plan it all. So I'm just the ride and the, you know, the financer. Financier. Yeah. So I was like, man, I really want to see this movie. And my 10-year-old would allow me in the theater, you know? But then the other mom, she sat in the lobby of the theater, like listening to an audio book. And I was like, so like,

I could have gone, but it was the kids planned it. They're like, you're taking us and she's taking them. And I was like, all right. You know, when I was a small kid, there was no PG-13. It was just PG and R.

Really? So there were some PG movies that were pretty. And, you know, my sister's five years older than me. And sometimes my mom would take her and then I would tag along. And it was some awkward stuff for an eight-year-old. Hey, sis.

We saw the movie. You didn't have any websites to kind of preview? No. Gosh, no. No. We saw 9 to 5. The Dolly Parton thing? Yeah. Yeah. That was PG. I think it was. There was some stuff in that movie that I heard. I was like, oh my, this is the worst thing I've ever heard. But did it go over your head?

Well, the language didn't. Some of the jokes. Some of the innuendo went over my head. Yeah, for sure. But I just knew enough to know that I was a little embarrassed. Yeah. Yeah. I get that. That happens with younger siblings. You're just like, sorry. Yep. Like, we're doing a family thing. Yeah. Like, we just cover their eyes for a second. Yeah.

Each of our kids will get a phone much earlier than the oldest did. It's like a running joke. Yeah. It used to be a point of pride with you. I mean, we held off. How long? I mean, we were until high school for Joel. How many kids do y'all have? Is that longer than most? I didn't get mine first until 16. I know it's a different world now. Totally different world. Totally different world. I would say. I was 35. Yeah. Yeah.

I would say about 30. Is that a car phone?

about 30% of fifth graders have phones. Yeah, a lot of... I would say it's higher than that. Young kids have phones. Fifth graders. Yeah. Because we have a fifth grader. At least where we live, you know, you see them on their... After school. Particularly smartphones. Like, there are other versions of phones that you can get where it's just texting and calling or location or some basic things, which is fine because you don't mind. It's a tool as a parent. It's nice to be able to, like, look where your kids are. It saves your life when you're, like, sitting in the...

some line in a parking lot. Yeah. Where are you? You got location sharing turned on with it? Oh, I mean, how much time does that save? And just like peace of mind. So much. Yeah. Yeah. It's really great. That we, that we like a lot. But yeah, Joel,

Our oldest, he got one freshman year, and we held out, and it was hard getting through the middle school year when most of their friends have them. It's tough. And then Gloria got one a year earlier. And we've already been like, Claire, who's in fifth grade, you're like, it would be easier if she... We'll get you a 15. Yeah. We're getting tired of this green bubble in the group chat. What a loser.

get an iphone so i don't bully her it's almost like you have to get all the parents of your kids class and go let's all make an agreement together yeah let's yeah think that would be possible they would never know that yeah yeah it's like comedians they would never unionize i mean they they hand out the phones they're like get a line here's the free phone i mean like it's

They're trying to get everyone a phone. That's right. Like Verizon. So it's tough. Do your kids have one? Yeah. Olive's got one. She's not far. Olive's got like a Twitter. Olive will have one. And she's just like. Two or three she'll be on one. Off on it. Well, Lucy's got to talk to her somehow. Yeah.

Lucy's a big texture. She's going to love that. Yeah, she works on her phone. Let's be honest. She works on her phone. Yeah, I text Lucy a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. I mean, they used to call smartphones smartphones. I think nobody now. Yeah. Just call your phone. But I can remember when we still called them cell phones. I still say cell phone every now and then. Yeah, I don't know why. I guess it's just grandfathered in my head. Old school.

Cellular device. Now, in my mom's case, it matters because she still has a landline. Really? For most of us. Yeah. Do you have a landline?

No. Okay. Why would I bring up my mom having one if I had one? I don't know. I feel like you just needed to be asked about it. You were trying to out me. Yeah. I feel like I would like to have one. I wouldn't. Yeah. It's nice. If you use a landline, and a lot of y'all listening, you haven't used a landline in years. When you use one, you're like, I cannot believe how good it sounds. Yeah. I mean, it's like the best phone you've ever used in your life.

Anyway, yeah, yeah. What about you, Dustin? I was in Raleigh, technically Cary, at the Raleigh Improv. Great club. Friday and Saturday, and then yesterday, Sunday, I was in Chattanooga at the Comedy Catch. Choo-choo. Choo-choo, which is why you invited me to come do the pod, because you very nicely looked at the calendar, and you're like, hey.

You're in Chattanooga. It's two years and one time zone away. How about that? Did you go in the train? No. You didn't check it out? No. You don't have any kind of curiosity about that stuff now? Oh, no. You've been doing this too long to care about where you're at? No, no. I actually really liked it. He went on a walk. I was kidding.

Yeah, you had to keep going for me to realize how sarcastic you were being. No, I loved the town. I actually was very pleasantly surprised, especially because Raleigh is a great city, but when you do the Raleigh Improv, you stay at Cary, and that's just literally a strip mall that I've been to a lot of times. That's what it's like as a road comedian. You're like, dude, I've stayed in this Courtyard Marriott in Cary.

for like 13 nights. Oh, yeah. You know? I've spent two weeks of my life in this specific courtyard. Like, I was walking around and I was like, oh, they got a Flying Biscuit here now. That wasn't here last time. Like, I know the neighborhood. You're watching the town build. Yeah, exactly. It's crazy. Oh, they put some new housing over there, over there. I think I could vote there. I think I might have citizenship. Yeah.

And so you didn't really see it, but Chattanooga, where the comedy catch is, is like right in the downtown area. Very cute. Very nice. It's a very nice drive from Chattanooga to here. I really like that. It's beautiful out there in the mountains, on the water. Yeah. It's a cool place, man.

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You just got to go original right here. That's the original Mountain Dew right in front of me. Cans cold. It's just a good feeling. Nate's played, you know, he plays golf, plays on TV and stuff. He's a good golfer. I try to get out there and do what I can. You know, I'm trying not to be a liability on the golf course. You're a good hang. It's about hang, right? It's about sitting on the golf cart, enjoying a Mountain Dew with your friends. That's what it's all about. The mountain is calling. You should answer. Grab your friends. Grab an ice cold Mountain Dew wherever refreshing beverages are sold.

And do the do. We don't have like the fall changing leaves in San Diego. Like you have to go to the mountains, which are like two, three hours away. But even just flying in, I was like, orange leaves. How about that? Yellow leaves. On the ground, I assume. Yeah. Or even there's some orange like. You got some color in the trees right now. Like we, you know, we've got the ocean and palm trees and all that. We got our stuff. But we don't have like fall flowers.

foliage like no just all around it's nice it's really nice it's a nice time of year here and i'm such a big fan i like the south a lot in general and i'm a but i'm a big fan of like a lot of mid-sized to smaller sized cities in the southeast that i don't know a lot about because i'm not from out here right and chattanooga's on there i love raleigh ashville is fantastic like they're like brand new to me like the first time i went to wilmington i was like

what is this? Yeah, Wilmington's great. This is unbelievable. Did you guys know about this? And you guys are all like, yeah, you idiot. Charleston? Charleston's great. Love Charleston. Huntington? Beach? Huntington Beach?

California? Yeah. It's nice. It's pricey. Is it Huntington? Yeah. You know it's a small town. I'm sorry. Is it hunting or honey? There is a T there, but we don't say it. It's Huntington. So it's also Huntington Beach. Yeah. I don't think people say that out there either. Huntington. No, we just kind of say it faster. Yeah.

It's fine. We say it's the conservative beach because it is. What's a conservative beach? No, politically, it's a very conservative area in Southern California. I was thinking the beach itself is a conservative beach. All the sand's red. Everybody wears one pieces. Yeah.

No bikinis. Yeah. Yeah. That's fun. But anyway, Huntington, you know, it's a small town when the point of reference I gave you is also a small, I said Jackson, Tennessee, which no one knows where that is either. And that's not the main Jackson either. Yeah. Right. I don't go anywhere. What's the main Jackson? What's the song? What's the, which Jackson is the, that's Mississippi, right? Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

What song are you talking about? The Johnny Cash. I'm going to Jackson. The Johnny Cash song. He probably means Mississippi, right? I would think. In the 60s, what was a desirable Jackson to go to when that song came out or the 70s?

Which Jackson would it have been? I would think Mississippi is what he was referencing. Desirable. I don't know if he's singing about like, I'm pumped to go there. Well, no, he is. He's leaving his girl. Yeah. I think he's more excited about that than where he's going. It's not about the destination. I might disagree on this. He seems pretty excited. I'm going to mess around. I'm going to show these girls what they don't know how. It sounds like he's kind of going to a bit of a party scene. Now, I say all that...

Let me clarify. I have never thought about the lyrics of this song. You know the song? I'm just doing just an argument. I'm gonna mess around. It's very low, yeah. And June sings it with him. Yeah, June did it, yeah. Yeah, we got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout. Things are good. We've been talking about Jackson ever since the fire went out. I'm going to Jackson. I'm gonna mess around. Yeah, I'm going to Jackson. Look out, Jackson town. I like how you read it like a poem.

Look out, Jackson town. This is poetry. Yeah. I mean, let's be honest. And then June sings the second verse. Oh, does she? Go ahead and wreck your health. Oh, it's a conversation between him and his wife. Yeah. No, they rushed into a relationship. Things are going bad. Yeah. And he's like, I'm out of here. And she's like, yeah, go do it. What do I care? They sing it in the movie Walk the Line. Reese Witherspoon. It's great. Joaquin. Okay. It's great.

I'll dig into this. We'll be back next week. I'll have some analysis. They'll lead you around town like a scaled hound. Scaled? Scalded? Scalded? Scalding? I don't know. I can't read. Scalded hound. With your tail tucked between your legs. I mean, this is good. You big time. That's great. Yeah.

I'm going to mess around. Nate recorded his Christmas special. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I didn't go, but you and I went down there for dress rehearsal. Yeah. It looked amazing. It was. Oh, my gosh. So cool.

You know, when you have a friend that has like a project, when you see it, you're like, oh, this is like a real thing. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's how I feel. Everybody's, it's all these abstracts. I'm working on this. I got this, this iron in the fire. And then you see it and you're like, oh.

God, this is real. Yeah. Like with Taylor and her show. Yeah. I'm sure you're like, oh my God, they're a real TV show. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. You guys really put a lot of these cameras. I know. So we showed up to the Grand Ole Opry just while everybody was getting set up. First of all, just celebrities just standing around. Mikey Day from SNL, Darius Rucker sitting on the stage. Carrie Underwood was singing on stage. I don't know if...

Should we tell that? Was it a surprise or something? I don't know what's been disclosed. I thought the lineup was... I haven't heard anything. You better not leak that to the press over there, buddy. I'm tweeting it right now. The media's here. Don't text Bezos. Here it is, Washington Post.

Aaron Weber breaks you guys want to stay alive and not be the failing New York times. So,

When you show up to the Grand Ole Opry, when I walked through, it was like the whole thing was done up. Nate Bargetzi's Christmas special. It was just very cool. I heard it went really well. I was not there. Were any of y'all there? Adrian, were you there? It went really good? Yeah. All right. That's awesome, dude. So I'm excited to see it. Keep an eye out for that. That'll be on network television. Yeah. I bet they'll hear about it. He'll probably tell us more about it when he arrives. Which he is coming. This is not a lie that we've made.

to keep you engaged with the podcast. He is on his way. We'll see. And just, you can actually just fast forward and you'll see him and then come back to where he was. He should be in the thumbnail of the show. That's funny. Oh, he will. No, they'll be on the thumbnail. Well, usually, everyone's on it. I doubt it. We'll see. We'll see how they do. I'll be honest, y'all do have to pick it up a little bit, but there is a good chance. We're fast-paced here. There's a good chance you'll be on the thumbnail. Good chance. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, when Dustin was here last month, it was about the difference between the West Coast and the South. Oh, yes. I should have picked foliage because Dusty shot me down on everything I said. Well, that's a Southern California thing we don't have. A lot of it does. You know, the Northwest has it. I mean, Idaho, if you count Montana as the Northwest, which it's kind of it. I mean, it's gorgeous. Yeah.

It's just the Southern California. Northwest has all trees. All the trees. The best trees. Yeah. But the funny thing about San Diego is like things can bloom year round. And so like the tree in our yard, all the leaves fall in February. And you're like, huh. But that's kind of like when it rains in San Diego. It's very confusing. For allergies, it's like really bad. So you have a rain season in San Diego? A little bit.

really? Our winter, it rains. Yeah, that's our thing. A little bit in like January, February. It's hard. The leaves falling in February are very confusing because that's not when they... Right? It's confusing. It's kind of like when you nap and you wake up and you're like, what time is it?

You're like, that's when pitches and catches are. Or the leaves are falling. Baseball is starting. Yeah. Yeah. But then when we do get rain, it's terrible because we have all this flooding. Yeah. Because our ground can't absorb moisture. Happy Valentine's. Right by the ocean. Yeah. Yep. Want to get these comments? I say we get to it. Might as well skip the first one and come back when it gets there. Yeah. Are you reading them? No.

No, I think you did the intro. All right, I'll do it then. Yeah, I want to hear you read. All right. That sounded mean. You actually read really well. I was just saying I want to hear you. People are sick of my voice. Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast Reviews, and Nateland at NateBargatze.com. You can also put a letter in the mail. Brian Bates, 243 Mongolia Avenue, Hermitage, Tennessee.

Chris Langham. I'm realizing Aaron is like wine. At first, I didn't get the appeal. You and me both, Chris. But after listening to him on this podcast for the past three years, I've started to relate to him a lot and realize he's actually pretty funny. Three years? Wow. That's crazy. Look forward to going to his show. Three years. It took 160 episodes. Slow burn. Before I thought this guy is pretty funny.

They'll qualify it with a pretty. Yeah. Yeah. That's one of those. You ever get that? Hey, you're pretty funny. Yeah. Yeah. Why does that? I'd rather somebody say I hated you. Yeah. Then you're pretty funny. Yeah. Oh, thanks. I'm sorry. I couldn't satisfy. Yeah. Yeah. I've gotten funnier than I thought you would be. I get that, though. Yeah. But do you like it? I don't like it.

What do you mean? Wine? No. Aaron. That comment. Yeah. The comment. Funny you said that, but you said I get that. But you agree you don't like it, right? No, I'm saying I get looking at Dustin and thinking this is going to stink. I misunderstood. I'm just kidding. Well, that I do get. Yeah. I say that, but I'll say any compliment, you know, nobody means, nobody walks up and is mean to or tries to be.

You know what I mean? You and I are a different show.

Put that on your next poster. If you like wine, you'll like Aaron. There you go. I'm like wine. You won't get the appeal based on this headshot, but give it three years. Three years. It's an acquired taste. Three years. One hour at a time over three years. Chris, looking forward to coming to your show. Yeah, come to a show. Come to a show. I just announced all 2025 dates. I'm hitting the road. January. It's breaking news. Getting out of the house in mid-January, I start. So hopefully you can come to a show.

I'm way better on stage than on the podcast. I'll say that. Mm-hmm. All right. Do you agree? Mm-hmm. Oof. He is not good on this podcast. I don't know if we can agree or disagree with this. No. I mean, I think we all... You should get a Melissa burn. No, you're like...

You're like, yeah. Either way, it's an insult. I get what you're saying. Yeah, yeah. Because you're a comic. This is not the main thing we do. You're a comic. Yeah. Right? No. No, I get it. Well, you have it hard on here, too, because Nate paints you as this elitist intellectual, which is not, you're not John Hodgman. Don't forget Rich. Yeah. And all the other things. You're not doing some character. That's not you on stage. Principal's son. Classic. I know. Yeah. So, yeah, podcast folks probably think you're something different.

That's probably true. Yeah. I had a lot of people go, yeah, your voice sounded different. I never heard you talk that much. It's good. Steffi Berenger. Dustin Nickerson looks like he could be Macklemore's religious brother. All right. Is Macklemore not religious? I think he is a little religious. Yeah, I'm not going to speak to Macklemore's faith. Let's get into it. Yeah, I never met the guy. Trying to make the thumbnail? This is how you do it. Yeah.

Yeah. Particularly pre-mustache. I used to get that one a lot. Oh, the mustache does change. The mustache changes because it's... But, I mean, there was an era... Yeah, there was an era where I had the Macklemore cut, too.

You know, the real short sides. Yeah. I don't think you did. I don't remember. I don't remember. Did you dress alike, too? And you're from the same part of the country. Yeah. I mean, we're both Seattle area folk. You know, this is the one I get. Yeah, let's get to this one. Let's get in the next comment. This one's unsettling. Johnny S.

Great name. Johnny Saskatoon. Pretty cool you were able to get Gary Ridgway there in person. Would have thought he'd been a little tied up. I did not know who Gary Ridgway was. I looked him up and I was like, oh man, this one's going in. If you look at more of his pictures. Yeah, look at his photos. He wore glasses in his trial, unfortunately for me. And

And they're all over the internet. It's yeah. I mean, that's Dustin. Just that Northwest icon. It is. A couple of Northwest icons. Yeah. I mean, it's like you went to LensCrafters and said, give me the Green River. Give me the Ridgeway.

It's like the episode of The Office. Yeah. The perp and Dwight's thing. Yeah. It's unfortunate because, you know, Dusty had that joke, right? About somebody. I don't remember. He had a joke about having Jeffrey Dahmer glasses. Okay. Well, when someone tells you who they think you look like.

You, you look, I look at that and I go, ah, man, I, I hope at least I'm a better looking version of that. You're a better guy than him. Well, I love that you didn't let me off the hook. You're like, no, I mean, looks wise, identical, but morally you were better than a serial killer. I want to see his wife. Yeah.

That's all that matters. Yeah. I guarantee you got a better looking wife than he does. Yeah. You know what? He is older here too. So I don't know what young Gary. I mean, listen. He's looking rough these days. No, he's, he's, I just saw he's 75. Oh, it looks good for 75. So that's why it looks like dust. Yeah.

Yeah, it's tough. It's thankfully for me, he is a lesser known of the serial killers. Like I do dread a Netflix doc on him. Is it? Then I might have to get rid of the staff. But I think you can capitalize on that. Yeah. Turn this like, yeah, yeah. What's great. So I grew up.

15 minutes away from him too. Like I'm not, it's not the Seattle. - Seattle could be related. - No, the Green River is in like, is by the airport in Auburn, like Green River Community College. Like it's all very, very close. - Where is this? - This is in the South Seattle area. - It's not even between where Dustin lived in Seattle. It's just a little bit north. - When I'm in Seattle, I mean, like I have to acknowledge it on stage because everybody knows.

That's our guy. It was just in the news. You know how like, you know, like I was in Chattanooga, they have Reggie White. That's their guy. We've got the Green River Killer. We've got, that's our local celebrity. Seattle have the highest serial killers per capita of any city. Well, you know, is it counting the ones they've caught? Because there might still be some. That's true. I don't know. I mean, I know Bundy spent some time there. Yeah, Bundy. And those are two pretty big ones. Yeah. Maybe that's why Ridgway just doesn't get the credit that he deserves. He's like,

You know, he's the New York Mets. He's the Clippers. Yeah. It's like, sorry, man. There's this bigger brand in town. Yeah. That's funny. Oh, that's great. Well, hopefully for you, it stays that way. Well, a lot's been said about Gary Ridgeman. Nobody's ever said he's a bad looking guy, Dustin. Don't sweat it. Dustin, you remember when Matt Damon played you on SNL?

Oh, the Weezer sketch. Yeah. I mean, that was pretty spot on too. Yeah. It is. The internet loves to tell you who you look like. At least me. And I don't know if you guys get that too, but I get it a lot. I get Gary Ridgeway a lot. I like that you get it just straight up though. They don't have to modify it at all. No. Because I get fat and then insert whatever. Aaron Weber. Yeah.

You're like, geez, man. Yeah. No, I get like Leonardo DiCaprio, let himself go. I get that or like Fat Brad Pitt. Yeah. Those seem like compliments to me. Yeah, you just named the two hottest guys. You're like, guys, I get it too. I was like, man, this guy's like a chubby Bradley Cooper, dude. One time I got a tired Donnie Wahlberg. Tired? Yeah.

It's like the adjective and then the celebrity. All-nighter. Hired Donnie Wahlberg. Donnie Wahlberg from The Sixth Sense, too.

Donnie Wahlberg's in The Sixth Sense? Oh, yeah. Yeah? I haven't seen it in a minute. What is he in Sixth Sense? Is that the twist? He's the guy at the beginning that visits Bruce Willis in his underwear in the bathroom. I don't even think I knew that. He lost a bunch of weight for us. Donnie Wahlberg. How about that? How about that? That was a good joke if people knew that it was him. Yeah. Sorry. Uh...

By the way, Gary Ridgway has been married three times. So, Dustin, you're much better than he is. Stay on your toes, Mel. I might remarry. I might murder you. I can't believe Gary's not a good husband. I'm not trying to like, because I wanted to say he was popular among the ladies, but I could not bring myself to say it. Well, you said it now. Yeah. All right. I don't want to read this, guys. Melissa, do you think he looks like Gary Ridgway?

I mean, not that picture, but yeah. I see a little bit. Objectively. My sweet wife, because people tell me I look like some awful people, and she'll always be so, and I know I look like them, but she'll be like, oh, no, no, you're much better looking than me. That's nice. Mel gets really nice ones, like Anne Hathaway. What are the other ones you get? I wasn't going to do it. She didn't chime in. You can tell me I look like famous actresses. Rachel McAdams. Yeah, on her best day. I'll take it. All right. I'll take it.

The best story about celebrity looksalikes is this Mike White, who's the comedy writer. He's acted in a bunch of stuff. He did The White Lotus. Yeah. So looks a lot like Brian. Now, Brian, what's the story with you and him? We look so much alike, apparently, that a friend of mine's friend, who I met a couple of times, moved to LA, saw Mike White at a restaurant, thought it was me, went up to him at the restaurant and was like, you live here now? Yeah, that's funny. Yeah.

Yeah, no, I see it. That guy looks like a really well-rested Brian Bates. That's funny. It's crazy to have a celebrity look like that. They've been confused for you. That's how close it is. That is Ned Sheebly. Do you think people go up to Ridgeway in prison? Like, do you ever seen this comedian? Is that your kid? He's all right. Some markets know him. Yeah.

You heard about him on like Wednesday night. Yeah, yeah. Louisville, he struggles. We all struggle in Louisville. Joyce Newman. I love hearing all the dad's perspectives of being a parent, but I'd love to hear the perspective of a mom. Please have more women on the podcast. No. Next comment. Yeah, let's move on. That was fun. This is like on

On our, that's one of the things I like about our pod, because we do a weekend recap at the top, and I'm always like, I was doing the same thing that you guys are talking about. I was like, I bought a bitch a laundry, and drove everyone around quite a bit, and, you know, panically checked my son's location until he got home, and I was like, oh, pretty chill. Yeah. I got to know a new city. Yeah.

I got up at 10. I wouldn't got to pour over. Yeah. Treated myself to a smoothie. I'm like, it's about smoothie time for you. Yeah. Meanwhile. Yeah. You're like, oh, you showered every day. Cool. Really happy for you. Well, now thank you for flying in to be here. Yeah. She's here just for this. Thanks for having me. It's amazing. Appreciate it. I had my first, last night was my first night away from the baby. How was it?

Did you sleep well? I slept okay. I woke up to just a text from Lucy at like 3.17 a.m. that was like, 3 a.m. feed was brutal. That's a guilt text. I was like, well, I'm heading to, so I left at 6. Yeah, you're like, no, I got up and ate at 3 too. It's a great time. I'm at Denny's right now. 3 a.m. feeding? Yeah, you ever get up and have some Fritos at 3? Yeah.

The in-laws are here with us. They're in town. They're helping out. It's great. Grandparents are what a cheat code. What a cheat code they are. Golly. Awesome.

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This exclusive Black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year, so don't miss out. Terms and conditions apply. Chris and Kate Jones told my wife I'd like to ask the pod's opinion on a specific comedian. She said, and I agree, that you guys all work to lift other comedians up. Not true. Would you give someone an on-air negative review, or is it a matter of, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?

Certainly in text, we'll bash a lot of comics. Yeah. I just never want to do anything publicly. What's the point? Because there are people that I don't like.

their comedy but i like them as a person fine it's not crime to be bad at comedy yeah otherwise we'd all be thanks eric you know we'd all we're all start out bad everybody you know what i mean exactly so i don't know i don't know and i don't want to be you don't need to pile on comedians take enough you put your you know you put yourself out there on the internet you take enough you don't need other comics jumping in and trashing oh yeah anybody who says the

You know, I'm my own worst critic does not have a public profile. I've got some pretty bad, pretty bad critics on there that I would never say to myself. Yeah. And I'll say this. I don't know if y'all agree. You don't have to give examples. But for the most part, I was shocked. The comedians that I've met.

The overwhelming majority are really good, really good people. Right. You think you're going to run into a lot of head cases and people that are mean and bullies or whatever, but most people just aren't like that. I feel like doing stand-up, it takes so long before people care that you do stand-up that it's impossible to have an ego, like a crazy ego.

Because you've just been beaten down by the world for so long. I think there's a camaraderie that so few people do what you do. It's like you immediately connect with them and give them the benefit of the doubt almost. It's like, yeah, we have so much in common. It's like such a tight kind of kinship.

So, yeah. It's kind of like a club. Like, comedy. That being said, I don't care for Brian's work. And that's fine. Is journalism like that, Brian? Will, okay, they kind of are protective of each other? Yeah, and it's the same thing. You feel like you've, for lack of a better word, been in the trenches, you know? So, therefore, there's a quick bonding when you're under a high-stress situation, which is what we do. High-stress, you know, you're going to bond a lot quicker. Yeah, yeah. Makes sense. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Sometimes I'll be, me and Dusty will be texting and we'll get on a little riffing on someone. And then I'll say something and you'll ghost me and I'm like, did I go too far? I do the same thing. Guys, I'm sorry. Overthink it. I texted, uh,

So I left the podcast maybe last week, two weeks ago. I drive home. It's usually a 25 minute drive from Zany's Comedy Club to my house. It took me almost two hours to get back. The traffic was so bad. And traffic's usually bad in Nashville, but it was like abnormally. It was insane. They were siphoning down the interstate into one lane.

And I was so mad. You know, you want to be mad you're alone in the car. I just want to tell somebody. So I text Brian and Dusty, like, I don't know if y'all have left yet, but I just, I left and, you know, I'm still on the interstate.

And Brian goes, what happened? And I go, I don't know. And he goes, oh, well, I don't care. Stop telling me. Tell someone else. I said, I needed to tell somebody. He goes, oh, well, I don't care about this, so don't tell me. I was like, oh, I'm sitting in my car. Yeah. You were home? Oh, yeah. I was having a great time. Yeah. Watching a movie. I wouldn't be bothered with this. Well, you...

You'll see this even more as you get on the road now. Like with the kiddo, your spouse who's at home with the child is not the person when you're on the road to text about your road struggles. You're like, this elevator sucks. Yeah. It's so slow. I was going to say a bad show and you made it even more trivial. You're right. And you're like, oh, well...

I'm cleaning up human and cat poop. Okay. This room's drafty. Yeah, this room's drafty. That baby just threw up on me. The room's kind of got an echo. I didn't love the way it felt on stage. Oh, that's great. That sounds awful though. The echo. Yeah, it's tough. Echo on stage is tough.

Debra Elsner. Debra. Debra. Didn't think as a guest host, Dustin should have made the jab about Aaron avoiding him because of bad blood for a long time. That is Aaron's home base. Yes, sir. Hope it was a joke, but it didn't sound like it. I love that, Debra. Thank you. Circle the wagons.

Yeah, Dustin, what's your deal? The web heads have arrived. The web heads. Yeah, the World Wide Web is coming for you, Dustin. What did you say about me? You weren't on the episode, so I joke that we've had bad blood for a long time. Oh, okay. I'm tempted to double down on this, but I will take a moment to be sentimental here. Aaron is the first of the Natelanders that I met, and because Aaron and I toured with John Crist,

2017 to 2020. Yeah. 2019. We spent a lot of dates together. On a bus. On a bus. Yeah. Aaron of the people on this podcast is the one I've spent the most time with. So no, I would consider Aaron and Brian two of my closer friends in this industry. You also officiated my wedding. I did. Yeah. That's why I hit Sinsheimer so well there.

I practiced since I was nine. Yeah, I don't think I've ever heard of Nate. You know your in-laws so well. Yeah. Yeah, no, I've spent a lot of time with your family. I know your parents. I got a compliment from your grandma after officiating a wedding, which is high praise. That was. You made it in his book? Yeah, you're in the book? You're in the book. Oh, yeah. You know, my friend from college, Cole, his dad. Bought that book? His dad was reading your book, not knowing...

Based on sales, odds are no. No, no, he was just reading your book. He was at Goodwill. Yeah. That means somebody bought it eventually. He texted Cole and he was like, they're...

I don't know. My name's in your book, I guess, at one point. Yeah. He made the connection. He's like, I had no idea he knew you. Yeah. He was just a guy reading your book. That's great. That's pretty great. No, Aaron's a good friend. I want to say this, Debra. I love the instinct, though. Keep that energy. Yeah. People come for me at this table. I need your support because I don't get it from over here. So I need it from you.

We have a hilarious story involving Aaron's wife, but we don't have to. No, you should tell that. You know the story? This is great. What story? You must have been, you were touring. You were on the road. Yeah. I think you came in that night. So we've done a lot of Julys in Nashville, like family weekends when Dustin does Zany's.

And so we're like, Lucy, come on out. It's a nice hotel. It's a good pool. And it was. It was, like, a really nice pool with, like, a nice vibe and, you know, like, food and bar and stuff. But we do have three kids. I don't think Lucy had ever been at a pool with three kids. And it was, like, our third stop on our road trip, you know? So the little one was, you know, getting pretty tired of being on vacation. Yeah.

There was some splashing, you know. A little fighting. You know, and we just had like poolside lunch. It was pretty chill. You know, overall for our kids, it was a pretty good day. And then Dustin gets on his phone and Lucy has tweeted, spent the day at the pool with my friend's kids. I am not ready for kids. Oh, man. Here we are. Yeah.

We laughed so hard. She tweeted it. She didn't say it to us. We just like died. I'm like, Lucy, I follow you over. We were like, well, if anything, Lucy, we, you know, you got to know what three is like. And this is what it's like. Well, you thought it was a pretty normal day, right? It was actually a good day. No, that was a good day. I was like, you should have seen this back at the hotel room. And we got back to the hotel room and we didn't want to have kids, you know?

So then, yeah, we've done a lot of pool time with Lucy. That is funny. When was that? A few years ago? Two years ago. I think you showed up at the show that night. Oh, okay. I think she was pregnant at the time. No, that was the second. I know. Sorry. I'm being all practical. But yeah, it's fun. This next comment was a nice segue from the last one. I agree. I'm good. And I want to hear you guys' thoughts on this. Chase Keogh? Keogh. Keogh.

The South doesn't get sarcasm, but it comes with a Pacific Northwest passive-aggressive tint to everything. Which, yeah, I thought that was good coming off the... Do you guys think that's true, that the South doesn't get sarcasm?

As in what, we're so dumb that we can't understand irony? I didn't say it, man. I don't know. You didn't get sarcasm just now. No, but the way you attacked me, I didn't have anything to do with this. I don't know. I mean, since I'm in the South, maybe I can't compare it, but I think I get sarcasm. Yeah. Do you find that the sense of humors around the country are that different? No, I do not. Maybe like New York, Boston, there's a little more like...

Yeah, like jabbing people. It's not like we don't get what sarcasm is. Yeah. Sorry, Chase. We shut that down quick. Ladies and gentlemen. There he is. The namesake of the Nate Land podcast and the host, Nate Bargetzi, is in the building. What's going on, Nate? I'll let you take it from here. Good to see you, buddy. Yeah. Dude, it was like there's traffic right in front.

You've been there the whole time? I've been there for hours. Just get out of your car. No, it's, I'm going to go down a little bit. Make yourself at home. No, it's, I was running behind. And so there's traffic and it's right here. Like, so right when you pull in. So, you know, when you get in traffic where there's just one car. If I was one car up, I could have parked. So it was an extra five minutes.

Because there's, whatever's going on in front of Zany's is the most traffic that's ever existed. And so no one's moving. And I'm just like, and that guy let a guy in, which was very nice. Very frustrating. Because you're, you know, it's like, if he knew my situation. Right.

I don't think he would have let that guy in. I could have got to the podcast five minutes earlier. He should have known. He should have known. I could have rolled the windows and said, excuse me. I'm trying to get right there. I have a podcast. Yeah. That's what everybody wants to hear. Do you know who I am? Did you point to the mural with your face? I go, when you get around, because it was on the wrong side. Yeah. When you get around, look at the face. Yeah. I go, that guy has a podcast. That's John Crist. I could have just said, I'm John Crist. Yeah. That's me. That's right there. Yeah. Yeah.

He flips you off. He's like, I love your videos. All right. Hunter Ballou. Dustin said the South doesn't really win championships anymore. The SEC has won 13 of the last 18 Natties. Classic Californian thinking he knows everything. I love the energy to comment with today. I'll tell you, there are some Nate Landers that don't like me, and that's okay. I wanted you to come back just so we could read this comment. Yeah.

Because I missed it when he said it in real time. What do you have to say for yourself? First off, I'm not a Californian. Classic Southerner to assume that I'm from California just because I live there. Classic Seattlean to think we care about the difference. Right. Classic Southerner to only care about the South. Yeah, yeah. There's the South in whatever the rest of it is. It's the South and Yankees. That's true. Yeah. Y'all came on pretty late.

Yeah, that's true. As America. We had a lot going on. We were already moving. Yeah, that's true. I mean, I have beef with Dustin in general about sports because he loves to complain on Twitter about his college football team that went undefeated last year in the national championship and his Seahawks, which are playoff bound every year. Right, right. While I'm a Vandy and a Titans fan. I think...

Being in the South and being a Vandy fan is pretty tough. Yeah. That's tough. Not this year. I mean, the Alabama is the best day in Vanderbilt history. I met Diego Pavia. Did you really? We were at the UFC fight. Amazing. The Jon Jones UFC fight. He was there? Yeah. I had to go to New York that day. And so it just kind of worked out. And I was like, oh, man, this fight. So we went to the fight. And...

I was just in this hospitality suite, and I was staring at him. I was like, dude, is that? Because you're out of context. Is that a 16-year-old dude I'm happy about? I'm 80 years older than he is. But yeah, he was awesome. I asked for a picture. I was like, you.

Asked him for a picture. Got his number. Told him I'd take him golfing. A little too much. Of all the celebrities there. Excuse me, Mr. Trump, out of the way. Diego. Yeah. Once I got past everybody. That's great. Well, it makes you feel better. About three weeks ago, Hunter posted, Vandy will never beat Auburn in Jordan-Hare Stadium. Hunter said that. Yeah.

And we read his comment the week after. Well, I'll defend this comment. What I mean by this is as a huge sports fan and as somebody originally was on the path of being a sports writer, big sports guy. Love it. We talk about it all the time. I particularly the way that outsiders view the SEC is like,

It's the sec is clearly the best football conference and has been over the last 20 years, but it's not because of the sec. It's because of Nick Saban. Like most, the majority of those championships were Nick Saban championships. Yeah. But if they weren't, there was LSU is Georgia. Right, right, right. But if there isn't Nick Saban in those Ohio state, when some Oregon, when some, it's not an sec dynasty. I don't know if Oregon wins any, but I hope not. I hate Oregon. Uh,

But they did beat Oregon in a national championship. Like, Oregon lost to Ohio State, actually. Yeah, Auburn beat Oregon. It would be Ohio State. Yeah. And Ohio State came in. Yeah. But it would be just that. But I think it's... Right. It's Ohio State...

You know, Michigan and the SEC. Well, there were Oklahoma. Clemson for a while. Clemson for a while. Notre Dame lost a... Washington could have squeaked one win. We were in the national... We've been in the college football playoff twice. It wasn't... And we lost to Saban. We don't... As an outsider, who doesn't really care to... I mean, we're the Big Ten now. Conferences don't mean anything to us. Like...

We don't view it like, dude, the SEC is so good. It's like Nick Saban is the greatest coach of all time. It is, but it's so top-heavy. That's the point of your argument. You're like going, the Lakers weren't that good. It was Kobe was good. No, no, no. That's like saying the AFC East is so dominant. You're like, no, no, no.

The Patriots were so dominant. Like that's, it wasn't, as an outsider, again, as the person who doesn't live in the South, the SEC is great and I would say is the best football conference. I mean, it might be the Big Ten now because they acquired all those schools, but like, we'll see. But we don't view it as like the SEC was so good. It's not the Big Ten, but it's the- Well, the Big Ten now. It's still not. And so it's- You think the SEC is? Yes. The SEC is like three, is very top heavy.

The top heavy counts towards it. Yeah. That's a good thing. You're saying the AFC East would have been – I don't think the saying would be they're good because of them. You would say they're bad, and the reason this team's good is because they're in a bad conference. That's why the other ones are top heavy because if you go – Oregon's in a conference that doesn't matter, so they're the best conference.

But if they had to go through the schedule of the SEC. Well, I mean, currently three of the top four are Big Ten schools. But if they had to go through the schedule of the SEC, what was the top four? Like, the scheduling is always going to be crazy. I mean, there's some bad SEC schools.

And SEC likes to do a real late-season bad game, too. There's always someone where you guys play in the middle of the week. It's like when Georgia played TCU. I was at the game, championship game, right? TCU gets through, and they play Georgia. Georgia beats them by 60. It looked like they were playing—

Wichita or something. That was the best thing that they could get out of the other thing was TCU. In Georgia, it looks like they shouldn't be allowed to play with each other. That's why people say the SEC. That's insane. Even when if Oregon gets in, Ohio State can do it, but if the Oregons get in or some of these other schools, if they play TCU, it's going to be a good game.

But Georgia played them, and it looked like it was a professional team playing a non-professional team. Right. In the championship, they beat everybody to go through the top. Yeah, I get what you're saying. Again, I'm telling you pure outsider perspective, not someone who lives in the South. South Carolina, always a problem. South Carolina. They are.

I mean, South Carolina's really good. Yeah, I know. South Carolina is a team that always goes to a decent bowl. If you went to a strength of schedule, though, it would be. But they're one right above Arizona State. Who plays absolutely nobody. See, this is it. This is what the SEC does. I know. This is what they do. You just name big schools that you've heard of. I get it. It's frustrating. Let's look at who Arizona State's played. I mean, they just knocked out undefeated BYU at the time.

So now go and tell me why BYU doesn't matter. They matter. Kansas State doesn't matter. That's one really good win. They matter. That's their game that matters. I am in Utah for the games that matter. The original acknowledgement of this was me saying the SEC is the best football conference. But what I'm saying as an outsider and as someone who goes to, went to, and cheers for a very good football program, historically a great football program. Yeah.

We don't view the SEC as dominant. We view Alabama as dominant. Like Georgia made a run, just like Clemson made a run. And Ohio State has been more- Georgia did way more than Clemson. I mean, I think they both won two national titles, right? Georgia is in the thick of a run. They're in the middle of it. I mean, Clemson's good too. No, no.

Clemson's going to get in the playoff. But Clemson is completely falling off. Georgia is not losing to... Yeah. But if Clemson was in the SAC, you'd be like, dude, but they got to go through Clemson. This is what I'm saying. It's just based on association. But no one's scared of Clemson. Like the SEC... I don't think that's true. Not like...

You think anyone's scared of Alabama this year? No, but I mean, people have down years. I understand Alabama wasn't good for a very long time. Yeah, they got a Washington coach, and now they're bad. Even when one of the—yeah, that's funny. Even when one of your other ones are up, then it's Georgia's league. It's the same teams. It's Ohio State. It's Alabama, Georgia.

Tennessee hasn't been there for a while. Maybe they're going to go up there and stay a little bit. Melissa, you carry the counter? No, I got nothing. I'm looking at what is half the top 10 Big Ten schools. We'll see how the playoffs shake out. I'll say this to concede something. Saban did feel like a singularly

Yeah. That him leaving kind of feels like now there are all kinds of possibilities. Totally. A lot of stuff is open. Yeah. And it's very fun, so who knows what's going to happen when the playoffs start. Yeah, so you don't know which SEC team will win this year. Yeah. I don't think we're going to win this year. I mean, maybe Georgia. Listen, if they go... Maybe Georgia. If an SEC... I mean, what does Georgia have, two losses? Yeah, they... Georgia got smoked by Alabama. Yeah.

They lost to Alabama. Who lost to Vandy. They might have lost to Kentucky. Alabama and Ole Miss. They lost to Ole Miss. Yeah. Ole Miss was a, yeah, not a good loss. This is what they do. The SC cannibalizes itself. No, they don't. Well, they do. They do, yeah. They cannibalize themselves. But they do. And they beat Clemson 34-3. But they do cannibalize themselves. Yeah.

In a way. Look how many people are ranked. That was like Tennessee's ranked Ole Miss one, two, three, four. So they played number four, number one, number 16, and number seven. That's four top 16 teams. Oh, and 14. Five. They played five. Five of their games were teams in the top 15. Yeah.

I don't... What is Washington? Oh, Washington's garbage this year, but it's because we lost our whole program. What is Oregon? Oregon's number one. Undefeated, beat Ohio State. Okay, but let's see how many they've played in the... If you went to the strength of schedule...

So they have number two, 20. They have two teams. No, no, no. Boise State is ranked. That's wrong. Boise State's like 12. That's their ranks when they play. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They beat the number two team in the country. Yeah. Ohio State. Insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they... Boise State now ranked, and everybody would always say Boise State's obviously a top, top team. And...

So they have at the time that they should, that guy's going to win the Heisman. That's right. They literally have the Heisman winner. But yeah, you know, but they're in the Northwest cause they're not cannibalizing themselves. Well, I don't know if the boy, if Boise state were in the, in the, where the Travis Hunter should win, they could win the Heisman. Do you think Colorado is, is the sec? Do you think they're Oregon? Do you think Colorado could be Oregon?

Could Colorado beat Oregon? No. Okay. But I'm not arguing for Colorado. But you're arguing for Boise State because that guy's going to win the Heisman. No, no. I'm arguing that they are a good program and have historically won bowl games and have huge upsets. I agree with that. But when you're saying that's a nothing win for Oregon, I'm not here to defend Oregon. I have...

I hate Oregon. I hate Oregon with everything in my soul. Oregon stuck by that, and I think it's a big win because they weren't ranked at the time, so that's good. You're saying... I'm talking positive about... I think Oregon has beat the number two team. There's no such thing as a better win than that. It's crazy.

Well, no, Vandy beat the number one team. Yeah, that is true. Vandy beat number one. Listen, I'm rooting for Vandy. He takes a little bit to come around, but he's going to get one in on you. I already said you guys were the best. It's like there has to be. That's what I don't. SEC is the only conference that cheers for itself. That's right. And that is hilarious. That's so funny to me. Like, I...

- Great, I love that. - We're proud of, it just means more. - I think you're just happy to be at home, you know? You're like, do we like, you're just like, I don't know, you feel like in the South, I think you feel, we're made fun of a lot. You've already made fun of us. - How have I made fun of you? What did I say? - Even the joke already. You just showed up in America three months ago. - Washington. - Yeah. So your state's named after our first president. That's how late y'all were to the game.

We're dumb. By the way, we're the only ones that did any of this. Nobody here said dumb. We're talking about in general. In general, that's what we want. But this is what you're doing. This is what the South does. And I love Southern pride, but you're doing, you're pointed at me saying you guys.

Okay. You do this. You just said slavery. I've never once called you dumb. I'm just saying. No, no, no. I never said slavery. No, you said what were you going to do about it? The implication was slavery. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the West, there's lots of terrible stuff going on in the West too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got our own problem. But no one here, but again-

So your point at us saying you guys. Like, I know when you're called, you're dumb. When someone says, a comment goes, I told that joke in, they always say the South. Yeah. I told that joke in Alabama, and let me tell you what they did. And they said, do, do, do, do, do, do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's, I mean, do we remember your impersonation of me on here? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I think you're getting a lot of it tonight. Yeah. This is my very favorite thing about the South is the Southern pride. And I love what I really a lot of what the pride of the Southern football is. A lot of these cities don't have pro teams, too. So that's the way it is. That's great. And we don't just give up. Right. So then when the pro teams come, we don't just rail on. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. And when I, like, listen, like, the first 10 minutes of this, I was gushing about cities I love in the South. Big fan. Yeah, yeah. Well, in the West Coast. I'll never listen to it. Well, the West Coast. As far as I'm concerned. Yeah, we're, you know, we show up on time to things here, you know. That's crazy. I'll just go now. We were told 3.30 arrive for 4 o'clock here. You can't leave early.

Have you seen the traffic out there? I'll tell you what. SEC's the best conference. I know it. What if I told you I've been sitting in the car for an hour? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, have they left yet? No, I've been here. You're waiting to see us leave? I just wait. No, I just...

At a move, at a big move, I just sit and wait in the car. The people who don't like me on this podcast, this will not make them like me more. Now they're going to hate me. I think they're going to respect you for standing your ground. Listen, he's joking. We're joking. And I'll say this. You're all going to feel pretty silly when Notre Dame wins. There we go. I'm pulling for Notre Dame. We're not even in a conference. Talk about strength of conference. There you go. Yeah, yeah. You guys really rolled army. Army was undefeated. We were good.

Yeah, Army and Indiana got exposed a little bit this weekend. Yeah. Yes, college football's fun. If you're not into it, sorry about the last five minutes, but get into it because it's a good time. This is... On the YouTube, it's like college football, so you could just skip it. Yeah. Yeah.

This is like, as a Washington guy, it kills me that I have to kind of defend Oregon. Because I hate Oregon with everything that is in my guts. But there is part of me that needs them to be like, at least I want you to lose the national championship by one point. That's what I need. So at least it's competitive. They beat Boise by one point. Boise's good. That's great. And they...

You need that, but the reverse. I always liked Oregon. I always thought, like, you know, because sometimes as a Vandy fan, you think, well, if we ever quit football, who are we going to become a fan of? Yeah. And I always thought, I don't, I mean, I could maybe, in Tennessee, we just couldn't do. Right. I was like, Florida, I always liked Florida a little bit, but I always liked Oregon. Yeah.

I know you don't like it, but I like the uniforms. I wish Vandy would do stuff like that. Uniforms are cool. And now that you can pay players, Nike, it's just an unlimited fun. And my dad is an Oregon fan, so I won't fully commiserate if they win. I'll be happy for him because I like my dad. And he loves football. Yeah, believe it or not, people outside of the South love their families. Yeah.

We are learning a lot. We're learning so much. Do y'all get together at every protest? Do you want to take over? No, you just read. You guys will see at the rally. Two more. Malia Tate. I love Melissa and hearing her awesome laugh.

I bet that's one of the reasons Destin fell in love with that girl. Comedians love a good laugh. It's true. You're a good laugher. You're a good laugher. Well, thanks. Someone said you sound like Rachel McAdams. Really? Yeah. Nice. Look and sound. Congrats. Nice. That's a lot nicer than the internet is to me. Let's get to a southerner. Mr. Arkansas. Destin laughs like he left the cap locks on and every ha is double spaced. Ha ha.

now I'm gonna be a little yeah I do a loud laugh that's gonna be sad it's great yeah well people that is a funny comment when people don't like your laugh yeah and you're like alright it's a natural thing sorry it's just me at my happiest yeah sorry my bad I'll stop experiencing joy I'll push that down change your laugh

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All right.

uh do you want to talk about your week or you want to save that no uh yeah we can talk about it uh

So I shot a Christmas special. So cool. And so it's a variety show. It's kind of an old school variety show. And so it's like it's the Ney Bargetti Nashville Christmas. I'm hosting it. We did some, wrote a monologue, went out and did, you know, it was a mix where it feels like it's stand up, but it's also hosting. And it was the most fun I've ever had.

Oh, wow. I cannot wait for it to come out. I think you will. I hope that you will see what we're trying to do at Nate land, why I'm always into being late and stuff like that. I'm trying it's, but you can see that is going to something. I think this is a show that comes out December 19th, CBS. You can sit there with your entire family. Y'all could go just enjoy this show. Uh, no cons on it. Darius Rucker, uh,

Carrie Underwood, because I think it's going to be announced. She was a surprise that night, but I believe we'll have her announce the commercials for it. So fun. But it's Streeter and Mikey who wrote the Washington sketch,

They wrote it and Lorne Michaels produced it. So it's got exactly what I want Nate Land to be, like with movies and with everything. And it was so fun. I got hit up so much afterwards. Just the next day of people...

just like buzzing about it like they just were like i don't they they're like i can't stop thinking about less than because it was just something i don't think people seen probably a mix of people being in nashville and like they were getting to see the production of kind of how snl work where we you know this stuff's rolling in and out and all that kind of stuff uh

but it was, uh, the, it was just, it was just very special. It was, I mean, I really, it was just kind of buzzing, just floating like the next day. Like just, I hope it comes off as what it came off in that room. Uh, cause it just, it was, it was a magical thing. And, uh,

So, yeah, December 19th. That can't come soon enough. I mean, I'm so cool. Yeah, it was... And for how long? It was like... We've been planning that for like six months. You know, when it comes out, you're like, I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know all this stuff. But it was...

I don't think there's anything like this on, well, not forever, anything like this on TV. I mean, SNL would be the closest, but this is the mix of live sketch and music, and it's all Christmas-themed. I mean, we have some sketches that I think are going to pop and be really, really...

Good and, you know, some nice sketches. Maybe have a sketch with an idea of Washington. Idea, not Washington. Jefferson. Jefferson, yeah. I saw someone said it's crazy that I have that picture up. They were like saying that I, it was crazy that I have a picture of myself. You're like, but it's someone, they...

Well, the whole room is that. It's also called the Nate Land podcast. Yeah, yeah. But that's what sent them over the edge. I was like, well, that's the least. Was it destiny? Yeah. I was like, I feel like that's the least. That's like a sketch. But, yeah. It's so old school. It's like a throwback. It's like, yeah, the old school variety shows. It's so fun. Yeah.

I'm very, very, yeah, very, I can't wait. So then, yeah. So December 19th and that and then, yeah. I watched the match on TNT. Oh, yeah. And I loved it. I thought it was so, you know what? It was so funny. It was very funny. Don't say it in the microphone. You turned your head and you were all like, I heard it.

I mean, I would love the people at home to hear you once say something nice about me. It is Nate Land. The whole show. Could you stare at the Washington painting while you... Sorry. You got to take it home tonight. Let's start with the compliment again. Put it in the nursery. For those that didn't hear, it's so funny. And I really enjoyed it. I appreciate it, man. You don't ever say stuff like that. So I know it's true. Um...

I've not watched it yet. I was nervous to watch it. I saw a couple clips that just popped up in my feed. One of you guys making fun of Barkley for being all sweaty. I need to see it. As a viewer, you guys came off, even though you and Blake got eliminated immediately. By far had the worst day playing golf.

You were very funny. Blake Griffin is very funny. He's very funny. I had no idea. Very funny. And then his relationship with Charles Barkley made the whole thing funny. Yeah. And then the next round, which I wasn't even going to watch it when you weren't on there, but you were on there on the set for Barkley's round, and that was very funny. Yeah. Yeah. Blake's obviously close to Barkley, very close to Gretzky. And so it was...

Yeah, it was – they asked us, so we lost in that first one. It's hard. Golf is like you got to be focused, and there was just so many – you're literally playing for a million dollars. So, like, just add that's on the table. But then, you know, it's like I'm trying to be funny. Like, you know, because you're thinking, like, people are watching this. So, if we're all just serious – well, not everybody's serious, but if you're all just serious, no one wants to watch –

who can shoot an 87 the best? So it's like, we need to be funny. So me and Blake just really hit it off. And then we just played bad, but I thought we did good with making jokes. And then we went up and sat in the booth, and then we were good. And after that, they were like, hey, we all do the next. They kept asking us to stay. Oh, that's awesome. So we ended up staying up until the Gretzky event.

if people haven't watched, but like the finals, you know. Phelps, right? Phelps, yeah. So we were not there for that. Just Michael Phelps and Wayne Grissom. Michael Phelps is the afterthought of the group. It wasn't after that. I was going to maybe not say it. I know. The names you just keep saying are crazy. I know, but I was maybe not going to say it because I thought maybe if someone's watching, they could, you know, be excited. We won't tell you who won. Did you already say who won? Carrie Underwood. Yeah. That is true. I know.

We won't talk about a show that's already aired. Yeah, it already aired. Michael Phelps I actually felt a little sorry for. It's funny that the guy from Nate Land who gets picked up and feels sorry for the greatest athlete of all time. He was a great golfer, but personality-wise, that's not his thing.

Is having a personality. Yeah. That was so suddenly one of the meanest things. Yeah. Personality is not his thing. I get what you mean. He's a quiet guy. He's not his thing. He's quiet. He's reserved. Everyone else is riffing. Great athlete. He struggles with who he is as a person. No, but like Chuck is funny on TNT and Blake Griffin was like doing spots at the laugh factory for a while. Yeah. He was doing stand up. I get what you're saying though. He's

He's just quiet and reserved. I could tell that's not his thing. Mark Wahlberg's funny because he kept saying, yeah, we want to show our personalities out here and not just basically what you just said. But Mark Wahlberg wasn't joking. He was just very intense like you think Mark Wahlberg is going to be. Yeah. Now, the first match we played against Phelps and Wahlberg, it's like me and Blake,

And then it's then there's very serious. Yeah. So, you know, and then when you could, so we would talk in their ear. Well, Wahlberg was like, they keep talking to my ear when I'm swinging. So you would take the AirPods out and you're like, well, I think that's the point, you know, but it's like, you know, it's a weird balance to be like, well, they're also competing for a lot of money. Yeah. And, uh, these guys, they want to win. Uh,

Not saying I wouldn't want to win, but I was just kind of like, I know why I'm here. Yeah. So I need to try to be... I didn't want to come off like mean. Everybody thinks I'm mean here. But it was like trying to be ribbon. It's like dudes hanging out. That's what it felt like. It was just like trashing each other. But we hung out...

Afterwards, the whole time, I mean, dude, it was, yeah. Came close with Gretzky, Blake. It's crazy. Charles. Yeah, there, it was. Have you heard of King Griffey Jr.? Yeah. Yeah, he was there. I wasn't going to bring it up. It's too close to home. Yeah, King Griffey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Just everyone that you loved. Yeah. I mean, it was, it was, yeah, I think, I mean, I've not watched it yet, but I would have, I thought when we were there, I was like, I thought it felt fun because those things can, the problem with a lot of times when they do stuff like that, there's no personality. So when you have no personality in there and you're trying to make, the first one with Tiger and Phil, well, Tiger doesn't have the greatest personalities.

Like as far as like, you know, he's the best and I love him, but he's not going to be, I want to go watch this guy be fun. He's not the most fun forever. Where Phil Mickelson was. He's a lot more fun. So you've got to, Phil has to kind of carry that first one. And you kind of need more than, you can't just throw it all on one dude.

So if you would have had, you need a mix. And I think they did a good job. Yeah, yeah, you need a mix. And so once me and Blake lost, then we were just sitting up there with them. And then we were, it was, I think it was like an overrunning, like, overlaying of just some being funny and all that stuff. I was just thinking about how the producers, like if you would have showed up.

not funny, but wanting to win. Yeah. They'd be like, dude, we did not cast this guy for that reason. Yeah. No, yeah. Well, they didn't even, we weren't even supposed to be in the booth. We were going to maybe go up there for a second. And we just went up there and they liked us up there that they kept asking us to stay. We lost two of the funny ones. We need these guys to talk. Smart. Because Walbert keeps taking his ear out. He won't listen. And Bill Murray, 74 years old, great golfer. Yeah. But he's pretty reserved also. Yeah. He is.

he is reserved felt like you were carrying a show out there did they show any uh did they show me saying something like he didn't say my name or something like that I don't think so okay it's interesting there was a thing we I had with him where I asked him a question about uh Lost in Translation so Lost in Translation in that movie it shows him doing a uh he hits a golf ball a drive and uh

So I always loved the way he warmed up that movie. He turns his back to the hole and he does his practice swing and then he turns to the ball and then he hits like a perfect drive. And so I asked him about that. And then Trevor Illman...

So I asked Bill Murray that. I didn't say – Bill Murray didn't know me. And then I asked Bill Murray that, and then Bill goes, well, Trevor – and he answered it like Trevor asked it. And so then I was, like, joking. Like, I was like, he won't acknowledge me. And, like, because there was, like, another thing where I didn't – and then so I made a joke again later, and he was like, Nate, Nate, you know, and I think it was a frustrated –

And I was like, well, I mean, I was just joking. Right. But it was like, there was, it was just funny how like you just wouldn't, I couldn't get him to. Yeah. Acknowledge me. And you're like, out of all, I thought, you know, the other kind of comedian. Yeah. Yeah. You're like Saturday Night Live. You were on it. I've done it. I met Steve Martin. I met, look, I got, you know, you go a little bit where you're like, all right, I'm excited to meet. Yeah. The old time guys seem to like me. Mm-hmm.

And then I go, Bill Murray's just in his, he's doing his own thing. But he's a guy that does his own thing. Yeah. That's his existence is doing his own thing. But I thought that's a good question. Yeah. And then he gave it to Trevor. He goes, it's great. He goes, great question, Trevor. He goes, and then answered it. And I was like, all right. Uh,

But he said that on that, if you've seen Lost in Translation, when he hits that ball, that was the first shot. That was the first and only shot is what he said. The director goes, let's do one more. He goes, you ain't getting better than that. And it was like a perfect shot. So that was fun.

Can you imagine if I got cast in that movie? I just, no. Day two. Yeah, I think it's hard to imagine. Your weekend stories are wild. It's hard what? To imagine. Yeah. Just me in general? Getting even, the possibility of talking about you being cast in it. So,

So you're asking me to jump a lot of hoops. All right. Much less you golfing. What are you being cast as in this? In the match. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They go, Brian. Oh, I thought you were talking about Lost in Translation. I was. I was. By the way, just as far away as him being cast in the match. Both equally...

Equally. Are you writing this down? Yeah. I want you to capture all this. Nicest guy stand up. It was a good, yeah. Are you typing? Yeah. The Washington Post is doing kind of a day in the life with me.

and Travis this is it so they've been this is the day of life I'm really glad we didn't do our weekend recaps close to yours yeah because you're like I was thinking about Bill Murray and my stories it's like well I had a late show in Raleigh where four tables tried not to pay that's crazy that's more fun though that's fun to listen that's fun to talk about mine's not you know I liked it well we enjoyed it yeah yeah yeah yeah

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It's the busiest travel weekend of the year, so we thought it'd be a good time to talk about road trips. Yes, Thanksgiving. Yep. Over Christmas. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, why do you think more people travel? Because you've got to go to your family. We've talked about this. Yeah. The secular holiday. Remember? Yeah, I still don't know what secular means. It was a big moment. Non-religious. Yeah. Yeah. But Aaron said it's a secular holiday, and Nate pounced on the word secular, and...

Do you use that around the Thanksgiving table? I've heard it now being used, but I think people do it because they know...

that I don't know what it is and they heard you do it. So even if it's someone that I think might have no connection of me and you, I bet Aaron got a hold of them. They're sticking it to his head. Hey, for some reason, start talking about secular a lot. Planning the Christmas special, I bet that word was used a lot for stuff. I don't remember. I don't think so. On the Gregorian calendar. Yeah, I'm surprised you...

And maybe this is a Southern thing versus where like it was in our households growing up, not mine because I didn't grow up in a Christian house. But like when I started going to church, that's when it would come. We would it would be you would use it in culture. You'd be like, oh, is that is that Christian or is that secular? Is that like and you'd have switch foot where we're like, we don't know.

John Crist. P-O-D. You're like, but it's like it kind of is, you know, but I think they might drink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, John Crist is not even close. That's very much. I was in Texas in the 90s. North Texas, like Dallas, north of Dallas. Your first marriage.

Go ahead. Good Southern girl here. Yeah. What else was going on back then? I was 12. But we talked a lot in our Baptist church about secular music. It had a very negative connotation. Secular was a very bad word. You couldn't listen to it?

No. No. You had to listen to Christian music. A lot of Jarz and Clay. Yeah. Christian concerts. I listen to Jarz and Clay. Great. I liked it. Yeah. No, I mean, it was... Jarz and Clay was so big. Moment in time. Yeah. You know, youth group in the 90s. Yeah. And when they got real big, like Jarz and Clay was a Christian band, but crossed over into the secular radio. The mainstream. And you got like DC Talk. Mm-hmm.

Like there was, the Christian music in the 90s was actually pretty. Reliant K came out early 2000s. Reliant K was fun. What does DC stand for? I forgot. It's something fun like. District Columbia. Don't cuss. Don't cuss talk. That works. Don't cuss talk. Now I got to know.

Formed at Liberty. It checks out. Liberty University? I don't know if people need to listen to us looking it up. He'll find it while we... I'm saying, y'all talk a lot. I know. Oh, man. I cut the tail end of it because when I started going to church was like 99, 2000. But that was the peak of Georgia. Decent Christian talk? Oh. Okay. I knew it was something fun. Oh, decent Christian talk. Decent Christian talk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

We had a lot of lock-ins when they were blasting DC Talk. Yeah. That'd be a funny special title. Decent Christian Talk. Decent Christian Talk. Anyway, road trips. So about 72 million Americans are hitting the road this weekend. Gas prices are

In Nashville, $2.80 average. San Diego, $4.56. It just went down. Yeah, it's actually... For us. It's gotten cheaper, yeah. I saw it on old numbers here. That's an average one, which means they're always going to... Yeah. It almost hit $6 for a while. We saw it under $4 last week for the first time in a minute. Yeah. Yeah, nice. Yeah, $6. Yeah.

It's a lot. It's a lot. Yeah. It's insulting. Yeah. What's the longest road trip you guys have ever taken? We've taken a lot. Yeah. I think it would be to Denver. San Diego to Denver. Yeah. I think that was- We did that with our family of five during the pandemic. I think we did it twice. It was either- Yeah. How long did that take? Well, we stretched it out like two and a half days out. Does that sound right? Yeah. We stopped in Utah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, no, because when we moved, because San Diego to Seattle is 1,200 miles, I think. So we've done a couple about the same distance, 1,000 plus.

That's a gorgeous drive though. That's the best drive. Yeah, that is really, really nice. Because you can go through Vegas and then hit Utah or you can go through Arizona. So we did Vegas, Utah, and then we did Arizona on the way back. We spent the 4th of July in St. George, Utah. And it was like, you know that firework scene in the Sandlot? It was like that. There was like this country concert going at this...

I like this. It was like rodeo into concert and then right into fireworks and we're at the park and we had ice cream. It was like the 60s. It was unbelievable. Yeah, Utah loves St. George. Yeah. So I think it's kind of Arizona-ish weather, right? Yeah. It's not as... So yeah, that drive is gorgeous. Yeah, we've done that and then we've done San Diego to Seattle, which is not a pretty drive. No, that's just I-5. It's I-5 the whole way. It's just flat. Yeah. Just getting it done. Yeah, it's fast. It's fast.

If you take the coast, it's lovely. It just takes a lot longer. Without you guys, I did Chicago to Seattle, which I think is the biggest one. That's a haul. That's a haul. Without you guys holding me back, I'd really cover some ground. Well, no, me and a friend did it. Yeah, that was the longest one. That was crazy. Got paid 80 bucks for that gig. Yeah. Yeah.

I wish there was a gig attached to that. Yeah, that's a real 30 hours. Mostly one freeway. Freeways in America are unbelievable. I love them. Yeah. It's crazy how easy it is. We say interstate. I was going to say, I don't use freeway. I don't really know what you mean by freeway. It's just interstate. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. They say highway too. Like, but we say interstate. Highway is a different thing to us. If highways, the smaller ones. Yeah. You know, I don't know if we care.

And then we just say the five. We just say interstate. Yeah. I don't even know what you mean by small ones. Like 440 versus 40? Well, the interstates to me are the... The blue signs. The blue signs. The federal ones. The national ones. They're called interstate because they connect states, right? And so highways to me are like the more kind of like regional ones, you know? And they'll cross state roads sometimes. Raleigh Parkway. That's the highway. That's the highway. Okay. Okay.

And it's actually called a parkway, so it might be a parkway. Or they would have called it Briley Highway. They couldn't have probably done that. A highway goes through a lot of smaller towns, you know, might have a stoplight every once in a while. Route 40. No. No.

No? Route 66. Route 66. There you go. The original highway. Yeah, where it's a mix of road and a little interstate. Yeah. The big one in California is 101. The 101 highway all along the coast. It's gorgeous, but it takes forever. And the 5 is what we... When we lived in Seattle, we would call it I-5. But now in California, you just call it the 5, the 8, the 15. It's more efficient. You can just knock out some time. Just...

440, 840, those are bypasses. If it goes north to south, it's an odd number. East to west, an even number. What do you do? So how do you entertain the family on a car ride that long? How much is planned out and how much is just, let's see what happens. It depends a lot. We've done it all because...

we've been doing this with our kids and we almost have a 18 year old yeah sometimes we'll do like family playlists where everyone puts in music and so it's like a soundtrack you know so then you're not like fighting over the music

You pass the phone around and they just hit add to queue. Oh, so they have smart. They got a song coming up. And then you kind of have to listen to each other's music a little bit. It's like collaborative, you know? And then also there's just that moment where you're like, everybody get on your own devices and put your headphones in because we all hate each other. Yeah. You know, and headphones are...

You know, like, I mean, it just cancels it all out. Well, we've been through, we've been doing road trips with kids for almost 18 years. Meaning we've seen the technology evolve. Like, it's like the stuff that we do now is they're older. Yeah, we used to have CDs and the DVD player. Yeah, the portable DVD player. You probably had that with Harper. Yeah. Before the iPad was...

There's, yeah, there's now it's easier. We try and limit the screen. It's on a long drive. You try and not give it to him right away. Yeah. Cause you're like, you can't start. You can't start here. Like maybe the last two hours when we need it. Yeah.

Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. Okay. That's all of parenting, Aaron, is just postponing the screen time. Yeah. It is a large part of that, yeah. Our favorite hack that we did, and we invented it on that Colorado trip, is a thing called Mom's Quiet Hour. Yeah.

Which for the first hour of the drive, no one was allowed to say anything. Or ask for anything. Or ask for anything. And no music could be played. And mom would just sleep.

Like that was like you, or I think we could play music. We could listen to music that I would play. And, but the point was, yeah, the point was you couldn't, and anytime they talked, the hour would restart. Cause the point would be that like, I don't think we really restarted the hour, but well, I get really car sick. So I always drive. He drives the whole time, which means,

I am like reaching back and giving them snacks and toys and books. You're curating the whole experience back there. I'm like doing the tech support on their iPad. Throwing almonds at them. Carrying the Bluetooth. And so that was his thing was like, you know, we get in the car, we're all fed, we're all packed. And then like, I just like get to take a little nap. A little nap.

You usually grab a stuffed animal. Yeah, I take a stuffed animal from the kids, lean against the window, check out for a little bit because inevitably the packing is stressful and exhausting. This guy's had a gig the night before. We were eating. There was a lot of like...

I'm packing the car and like cleaning the house and getting the kids to bed and we got to leave. Why are we going to Laughlin, dad? That casino gig needs an opener. It's a free hotel room. I brought my family for a lot of the early road because you were just like, they're going to pay me $100 to go on the, and I get a hotel. I get right off the gas. Yeah, and then you get to a hotel, you're like, I shouldn't take a kid here. No, yeah.

It's a motel. I shouldn't be here. Let alone my family. How often are y'all stopping for snacks? You pack a cooler? Yeah, I pack some stuff. I mean, I'm not making sandwiches in the car. People will do that. We'll stop for a meal. But yeah, we always have snacks. And it's amazing how many snacks children will eat. There's a tension between...

Me and the rest of the family, which is kind of a trope. But I think that's good because if you had a driver who's willing to stop as much as the rest of the passengers, it would take so long.

So you kind of like if you're on a mission and we just don't want to stop. Yeah. We're like, why can't we stop? Meaning we stop every three to five hours. Right. Depending on. That's pretty great. Limit the fluids. I thought you were going to say every 45 minutes. But you want them to be a little afraid to ask you to stop. Yeah.

Not so much that they never do. Yeah. But you want them to like, I'll hold it and then when it's a real problem, then I'll bring it up. You got to time it out together. I was just, I took a, I drove from St. Louis this morning with two other comics and after a while, I was like, I'm going to, does anybody need to use the bathroom? And they were both like, oh yeah. Yeah.

they're like waiting for me to bring it that's a good opener to not tell though yeah yeah if a guy of my if i'm got a guy riding with me and i'm headlining he'll never open for me again yeah he tells me he needs to pee you kidding me you wait till i need to yeah you need to get on my schedule it's usually got to be a prop you're like yo dude it's about to yeah yeah i don't know what to tell you yeah yeah for the sake of your seat yeah we should stop you ever do side of the road

No, because... No. No, we haven't. That's not... If I'm on like a... A highway. Not on a highway. Not where... Like just back to the... I would have to be to get into some woods. Yeah. I'm talking about like a little...

Yeah, not on the interstate. Not like Tommy Boy. Yeah. Like Chris Farley. Free cars going by. You're like, I couldn't do that. No. We did have a situation. We were leaving Vegas over the summer. This is like 115. And...

And we were in traffic and we went, the bathroom line was like out the door. They were out of ice. It was like the apocalypse. Like, and, and we definitely like had our littlest one, like pee in the parking lot. We found some bushes. Did you guys do any road trips when you're potty training and stuff? It's like, it's a whole different. That's tough. Yeah. You're like, Oh man. Yeah.

We should have stopped. Yeah. You said you did an arena in Huntsville and an hour later you're on the side of the road in a bush somewhere peeing. Remember this? Yeah. Kind of. I

Yeah. I mean, it's just a few months ago. It was the end of the weekend, so you wanted to drive home by yourself. Yeah. And you said... Oh, yeah. You pulled over. You were like, 45 minutes ago, I was in front of 20,000 people. Yeah. It was the last... When I did Huntsville, it was one of the last shows I did. Yeah. It's just funny sometimes to think about that. Mm-hmm. Where you could be...

that was at night and I got off on a road. And so I just found there was another road and you're like, there's, you know, it's like I said, going to hold gas station. You're like, I was able to, I'll do it like that. It's dark. No one can see, you know, when you moved from New York to LA, did you drive cross country? I did. We left on the day hurricane Sandy. Yeah. That's why I had to, I had to leave earlier. I think I've told this on there. You and Laura. Suspicious. Laura, uh,

I got a tip. Insider training. Insider, yeah. Something's coming. No, we were supposed to leave. I was always going to drive our car. And Laura, so we just had Harper. Harper's like two months old. So Laura's dad came up there. And they were going to fly home. Harper's born in Nashville. We went back up there to get...

You know, to move out of the apartment and get our stuff, get our car. I was driving the car cross country with my buddy, Louie Katz. And so we were going to do, we, we had a couple, like we set up some one nighters to kind of like piece this through. And then hurricane Sandy came. So we had to leave a day earlier because we weren't going to get out. So then they went to the airport to try to go home. They couldn't get out.

So they had to go stay in a hotel. And so I always joke that, you know, the one thing they tell you to do with hurricanes is like,

you know, take care of old people and babies. And I just left, and I left Laura with both of those things. She had an old person and a baby. And so Laura and them were in the hotel. It's when all of the lights went out in New York. They all went up to, I mean, you know, thankfully her street was the only street. It was like, that was lit her and above. It was about grand central station or something. They end up getting a hotel down there. Cause we, we didn't have anything in the apartment. Everything was gone. Right. Yeah. And,

And so then we left and we went and did a show in, I think, Ohio. That's when I learned something. Louis Katz, he always said something that I always think about because we were like –

You know, it's 3 o'clock, 4 o'clock or something, and we have a show at 7. And he was like, all right, let's try to take a nap. And he was like, when I take naps, if I can't fall asleep in 20 minutes, I get up and I just go. And so I always still think about this today. Like you give yourself, instead of just laying there and trying to force a nap, you go, all right, I'm going to try it. If it doesn't work, then I get back up and it's over. And I always still think about that now.

So if you try to do it, if you can't do it, then get up and go. But yeah, then we drove. So the whole thing was we went. So you could go two ways. You could go New York to California. You could go Southern or you could go like through Pennsylvania and then come into that Denver and stuff. Now going through the Pennsylvania drive, Pennsylvania is a brutal state to drive through. I would imagine it can be like Tennessee for a lot of people, but it's so long. You don't ever think you're getting out of it.

You're in it forever. And you're just, every time you think you're somewhere, you're like, am I close? You're not closer. You're never closer. You're going to just be more in Pennsylvania. And you don't, you just feel like there's no, you have to go across the whole thing. So we did the top, I think we did the, yeah, we did the top.

top or something yeah and so then but the whole point of the drive was to get to colorado because it's like you basically have done the drive the drive to colorado is like it's fine and then colorado to la was like that's your reward for yeah the top yeah and uh louie was gonna do the whole thing with me and then louie got a gig at uh san francisco punchline

So he left me in Denver. I was like the whole, I go, this is the whole payoff. The whole reason we're doing this was to, so I did that alone. And I remember there was somewhere in Utah and they were, because you get in situations where you're like,

All right, you have to ask people, and they would tell you, like, all right, you either got to go over this mountain tonight or there's going to be a storm and you're not getting over it maybe for a couple of days. So I remember once where I was going to stay in a hotel right before the mountain. They were like, you know, I just overheard people talking about it. You're like, well, then I guess I need to. So I just had to drive through it and get over it.

Was that like... I mean, you'd already done the big move to a city, like as a comic, like the move to New York and stuff. But was there, I mean, an element where that was still kind of like, I don't know, kind of like a romantic drive for you of just being like, this is... Here we go. I'm going to LA. Going like, you know, moving out west. Yeah, yeah. Taking my shot. I mean, you were already pretty established as a comic. But I mean, when I got to LA, I mean, I would have been if...

I didn't grind it back out. I wouldn't be anywhere. I mean, it was like, I went, I went backwards. I'm not, I didn't go backwards, but it was like, you could tell you got to keep your foot on the pedal. Cause when I went to LA, I think I felt like a,

breather. Like it wasn't the, the, the pressure of New York where you're going up every night where you're like, you gotta be going up every night, every night, every night. So like that pressure was gone. Cause LA just wasn't, I mean, you want to go up every night, but it's just a different kind of thing. It's, uh, so since that pressure was gone, I felt great. And then, uh, but then I, I was just, we were just talking about this today. Uh,

but then when I had I might have talked before I was supposed to open for Burr at Largo and so I remember I was like oh alright I got that and then Burr had to cancel and so then I ended up doing an open mic that night and uh and I remember thinking like I already have I did a half hour on Comedy Central I did uh

late night appearances. And I felt like a panic. I always judge everything by when I can, if I feel myself get a little flustered or worried or panicky, then it's like, I was like, Oh, I gotta, I was like, I'm, this is all going to just disappear. It doesn't matter that I have these credits because when I go there,

I mean, yeah, I got to go up on the open mic. They let me go up because I've done TV. Yeah. You didn't have to get your name drawn. Yeah. But it was like, it wasn't like, it was like, we can't believe you're in town. Right. It was just like almost, I had to, someone had to talk.

you know, introduce and say who I was and like, and they were like, oh yeah, we've, yeah, we know like that kind of thing. So it was like, oh, so I'm like back to like, you know, but then when I was in LA, it just moved quicker because you're just been doing comedy longer and you had this stuff. So then I just went out and did all the shows and just hung out at,

I had to hang out a lot, had to not go up, but just let everybody know I'm in town. Because you have an ego and arrogance to be like, I'm a New York comic. I'm in town. I've done TV. And everybody will just figure that I'm in town and they're going to come ask me to do this. But it turns out no one thinks of you. It's kind of like the SEC of the comedy scene. Yeah, yeah.

They shouldn't think of you. It's not their job to think about you. Right. So you then got to go, oh, I got to go out and let them know that I'm out and let them know that I've moved here. And I got to go on stage and I got to do really good and murder and all these shows so I'm getting asked back. And you got to just stay on top of it. And that's the part that can be – the ego part is the part that's hard, I think, in comedy because you can think –

well, I'll just make this, you know, this Christmas special. You can be like, well, I've done enough stuff. So they're going to watch the Christmas special because I've been around. No one, there's still, I mean, obviously still, but there's a lot of people that don't know me. Like they're going to see who is this guy that's hosting this Christmas special. So you just constantly reminding yourself anytime, you know, because you do, you have it where, you know, we're writing a movie and,

ooh I'm gonna do whatever I want well this movie stinks dude they don't owe me this movie like it'll go away so fast so if I want to I always wanna grow out of it that would be the way I want to I wanna grow out of it to be like are you doing a movie and you're like I'm not doing that anymore

because I'm, you know, because we're building a theme park or like something. Like, it's like, I like. I was going to say what's left. Yeah. Well, it's like there's ideas. Yeah. There's, but it's like, I like the idea of when you get asked to go do something, you get to go like, I'm not doing it because I think I'm better than it. You're just like, I just don't know if I really have the, I won't be able to give you the best thing for that because I'm actually really focused on this other kind of thing now. Yeah. And so that's, that's what I would always, you know, do.

Has anyone ever picked up a hitchhiker? No. Or considered it? Right here. You have? Right here. Really? I got one right here. Oh, he's the hitchhiker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He cannot get rid of me. The little Tennessee kid. 15 years and he still can't get rid of me.

My dad used to. You're like, gosh, I wish you would have just killed me at this point. Your dad used to? Yeah. Brian tries to leave. I'm the one that doesn't let Brian leave. It's the opposite. That's the twist at the end. That's the twist at the end. He goes, I've been wanting to leave. Well, you can't. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I feel like back then it was a common thing. It was legal. Yeah, my parents used to do it too. Wait, is it illegal to hitchhike? Yes. Yeah. I didn't know that. Why?

Why is it illegal to ask for a ride? You're probably just too many bad stories. I was about to say, I don't know that it's illegal everywhere, but I do know there are signs that say no hitchhiking that I've seen across the country. Yeah. Okay. It's legal and illegal. So it depends where you are. Yeah. Nevada, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Utah, Wyoming. Illegal.

So if you're there and you see someone that needs help hitchhiking, you go, you're not even supposed to be asking. According to the law, hitchhiking is illegal on any property under the jurisdiction of the Department of the Interior specifically. So you can't do it on national parks either. I think it's probably tough to be a hitchhiker nowadays. Like, yeah, there was... I still see him occasionally. In an app? Yeah, my wife's... My father-in-law, he would hitchhike...

to, uh, like they would come to, he'd go to like the Grand Ole Opry to listen to the Opry. Yeah. They, they would just, you'd be like, well, how'd you get up there? He goes, I just hitchhiked. Like it wasn't. Yeah. My dad did it. Yeah. It was like, or he picked them up. My dad would pick people up. But even with your dad, it was probably, this is her, her parents are in the eighties. Uh,

But back then, they would hitchhike. It was just like catching the bus. Yeah, totally. It was so crazy. The way they talk about it, there is no like, well, I don't know if I'm going to get home. It was like, yeah, we just hitchhiked. Just get in the back of a truck. Yeah, they get in the back of the truck and they go, hitchhikes and pulls over and goes, where are you going? He goes, I'm going up here. And you go, all right, you get back. There you go.

What a wonderful time to be alive. I know. Like where you could just... Yeah. But yes and no. The reason that it got illegal and it has a stigma now is because it did go wrong a lot of times, right? Not back... I don't think it did back then. I'm sure people... Yeah, there's bad people. Right. But it's their... I don't think it was... Let me go back to this Wikipedia right here. Yeah.

Yeah, my doppelganger. It's actually a good segue back. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's unfortunate. Yeah, we've covered this in length, unfortunately. Oh, that guy was a hitchhiker? No. No, but let's... Hitchhiking involved, I'm sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, Johnny Cash walked from Nashville to Hendersonville. Yeah. I've heard that. Yeah, you told me that story. And you could... Yeah, I mean, I think if the hitchhiker's cool, I think it can be okay. Yeah. I don't think you hear it the other way. You don't hear...

the hitchhiker go, I had this people pick me up and it was a problem. It's always, if the hitchhiker is in control, if you, if it's a good guy or a good girl hitchhiking, then I think it can go. But how do you assess that? You drive up, roll down the window. Like what are you into? The way they dress is already tough. So it,

I would say if you're going to hitchhike and become homeless, start off with a suit. Your last day. So your last day of being homeless or of being home. Yeah. Having a home. Put it by a suit. That should be your last purchase. Yeah. By a suit. Those people. They got the sign. Work your way back. Go work your way back. I bet there's a there's a yeah, there's a fun element to it.

You know, because you're like, yeah, if you're like a guy that wants to meet and talk to someone and hear their story and all that. It's an adventure. Yeah, it sounds utopian. It sounds like, it's one of those things that on paper, it sounds like beautiful. Like,

I don't know. It's a terrible example. Yeah. You know, in practice, it's much harder to execute. The philosophy thing I want to tell you, Aaron, was I read that the Iliad and the Odyssey was the first road trip story. Oh. I wonder what you thought of that. That's fun. That's fun.

That's great. Yeah, those are pretty old. Well, since you're the one that read them, I thought maybe you could... You read those in school. You had to read those in high school, didn't you? Not in Lebanon. I don't know if I read them. What were your... Do you remember books you had to read in high school? The Bible? Oh, yeah. But the Bible... See, that's the first road trip. Moses...

leading the Israelites out of it. That's the first road trip. And Jesus' disciples was the first fun road trip. He read the one that... Just him and his boys. What shape does this look like? Butterfly? We actually did... Are you getting this? He read Huck Finn when it was... And then Huck Finn came and talked at the school. No, no, no. That's not... For a second, I was like...

I did read that book. I was like, oh my gosh. King of my school. Ryan asked for his autograph. This is fiction. Well, I would. He hitchhiked to the school. Mr. Finn, can you sign my book? Say hello to Tom Sawyer for me. Here, take a picture with me. Yeah.

I have a question for you guys. Because one thing about the South and middle of the country comics is you guys do drive to more gigs than you can on the web. We have limited...

San Francisco is eight hours away from where I live. Yeah, you're so spread out. And there's so much traffic. You got the ocean to the west and Mexico to the south. Realistically, a drive for a Southern California comic is... Canada to the north. Yeah. I don't know if we're doing that. Yeah, yeah. But that makes no sense. It's a whole country to the rest of the country. The whole country to the right. Yeah. To your right is the rest of the country. Space right up. Space, space. Clouds.

I think you guys get my point. You think you can't do the road because of the ocean? You are too close to the ocean? Go ahead, Dustin. Take that question. Is that why you think there's not as many road gigs because of the ocean? I would say. Go ahead, Dustin.

There's only so much that we can get in a car reasonably. So you can get NorCal. My point exactly. And you can get Vegas. And you can get Phoenix. It's not the best place to live as a comic. As a road comic. Yeah. The Nashville, what's so great about Nashville is why the tour buses are here. Why music. A big reason I think why music came here was because of how centrally located there's so many shows.

There aren't many cities Brian could base the Easier to Drive Tour out of. Right. This is the biggest city to do it. Because you could think like Chicago's in the middle, but you're like, well, there's only so many gigs that are going to be north of you in Chicago. Right. Where our north is Chicago. Canada is north of Chicago. Our south is...

New Orleans and Alabama. That was his point about the water. Easy to drive through. Well, you, when we did. It was, it is a good point. They take off half the country because of the ocean. Yeah. But you do a lot of shows out in the ocean. What are you talking about? I didn't write. You do a lot of shows in Mexico. Yeah. You done a show in Mexico? Have you done one? I did a corporate there. I did a corporate there too. Cancun. Yeah. Nice. That's booty.

That's bougie. I could have probably guessed Cancun. It was awesome. I do my corporates in Nashville. That's true. I was here two weeks ago out here. A lot of corporates in Nashville. There are a lot of corporates in Nashville. Oh, that's the best, man. When you live in Nashville and you get a corporate gig here and you drive to it and then go home, it's bananas. That's what I always feel for you when I'm getting them. I've been to a bunch of San Diego. Because we have the same manager and I'm getting your corporates in your town. Yeah. We don't have the same manager. I mean, same company. Oh.

Yeah, but I mean, that's not... No, no. No, I have no... What I get... You know what my actual ones are? Is people... Because we have the same agency and management. So they inquire about Nate and then they see the cost and they're like, who opens for him? Who opens for his opening? Let me get into that. Do we have any... But so you guys knock out... You guys do more driving, but my question is like, what are your...

Do you guys have certain stops that you're like a loves? I mean, a Bucky's is obviously the goal. There are certain ones that you're like. Bucky's was, yeah, loves. I would always go to loves. You're a loves guy. Yeah, I'm still a loves. I stopped at a loves today. Yeah. Still a loves. Love of loves. Yeah. And they don't know. When he goes in, they're like, truck driver, regular car. They don't know.

Because he blends in. What he's wearing right now, the way you look, you blend in. I could blend in any way. They're like, sir, your camo. He is wearing camo. Sir, your shower's ready. If they found out he went to Notre Dame, they would be shocked. They wouldn't...

Because they would assume he just got out of a big truck. And I do always use the other checkout area in the back with the truck. With the line shorter. That's the hack is to skip the line. Yeah, you go where the truck is. So I'm ordering with the truckers. They might think I am. And do they always go, how much you got? Like, what do they say? Fuel? Because you get told where you're headed to. You can't just do this in front of you.

Yeah, I'll get $900 on pump four. Yeah, it's like crazy. Well, one of the worst parts about doing road trips in California is a lot of the gas stations, and you know this because you lived out there, don't have a bathroom you can use, which is very frustrating. So you don't even go in until you're like, do they have one? Okay, well...

Looks like we're going to Fresno. You can't go to the bathroom in LA. It's too bad. There's an app called Flush Toilet Finder. It helps you find the closest bathroom. Oh, really? It's pretty sweet. Oh, wow. That was in your notes? Yeah. I'm thorough, guys. That's really good. I am what I am. Unfortunately, in California, they do it on the street a lot. Flush Toilet? What's it called? Flush Toilet Finder. Flush Toilet Finder. They could have probably done a better name than that.

Yeah, I was thinking like Potty Stop would be good. Potty Stop. Could you do something? Potty Break. Potty Break. Potty Break app. Yeah. What's it called? Flush Toilet. I got to tell you, DuckDuckGo stinks, dude. Flush Go Finder. Flush Toilet. I mean, Flush Finder. Flush Public Toilet. Yeah, yeah. Free app. Yeah. All right. How about that?

It's a quick and simple way. Yeah. Again, unfortunately, in parts of California, it's literally just the streets are on the app. Yeah. Have you guys ever on a road trip said, don't make me come back there? No, I don't think so. We're just lying. No. Sorry I asked. You've expressed the sentiment. Oh, yeah.

I'll turn this car around. You ever say, I'll turn this car around? You ever say, I'll drive this car off this bridge right now? Something like that. That's what you should say. Yeah. To really... You got all in it all right now. I don't even care if we get there. Yeah. You're like, we're going to all die because you're screaming. I can't even focus. Make them feel bad. It's smart. Put it on them. You trying to kill this whole family? Right. You turn that light off. Quiet. I can't even drive. Quiet.

The light is the funny thing. When you're young, you're like, what does this light matter to you? And then when you drive and you start older, you're like, if you do not turn that light on. I can't see. It's unbelievable. You're like, I don't know what's going on. As a kid, that's the worst thing you could do in the car was leave a light on. Yeah, Harper wants to turn...

her light on we could drive 10 minutes to the store that her light's gonna be on and you're just when you're driving at night you're like did you not turn that light on but I remember as a kid my dad would you know you better turn it off and you get in trouble and you're like why would the light matter and then you figure it out you figure it out as you get older yeah it's disorienting yeah it is disorienting driving at night's harder as you get old too go download Flush Toilet Finder yeah

It has 200,000 loos all around the world. Yeah, this must be a British app. Missing basic info. Oh, man, this person has a chronic health issue that necessitates frequent bathroom trips. Oh, no. Hoping this app would change my life, but oh, man, it doesn't have the hours listed accurately. Oh, man. Oh, yeah, that's a tough one. I feel bad about that. But that's like...

I do feel bad about that, but that's also like, all right, man, we're at least trying. He goes, I really hung my hat on this. And you go, well, I don't know if you should be out that much. If you're having to go, you should be the one that started this app. You're asking this app to know the hours of every business in the world. And you want to go, we're doing something that no one really cares about. Yeah.

But we put in crazy effort for it. Yeah, because for the most people, people have been able to find bathrooms for the most part. You can ask, yeah. I mean, people, when they leave a bad review on an app, you like looking at reviews, but overall you want to go, I understand this is not probably the most downloadable app.

Yeah. So, you know, just leave it at that. Don't, like, really go, like, you know what? Yeah. This person recommends, you know, having some sort of rating system for the toilets. Yeah. And they go, how about we're in the first stages of at least showing you where. Yeah, yeah. Like, what do they want it to say? Like, it'd be better to go outside. Yeah.

Oh, this guy says he wants to know whether it's a single person locked room. I think what happened is this app got flooded with people with real medical problems. And they're like, we were just trying to help a drunk guy walking home from the car. We're just trying to help a family find a good stop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's funny. My favorite road trip movie is Plains Trains and Albo Bills. Yeah. That's my favorite movie. We'll watch it every Thanksgiving. It's your favorite movie? Yes. I said we're going the wrong way. How does he know where we're going? It's such a great movie. Yeah. Yeah. How does he know? He's the best. Love it. All right. All right.

We did it. This week. Oh, if. Oh, yeah. No. Go ahead. December 19th. December 19th. Christmas special. Christmas special. And then Christmas Eve. Yeah. Christmas Eve. Netflix special. The regular special. Pre-order the book. May 6th. In the book. In the movie. Yeah. And there's. Yeah. The movie. We're working on the movie. And Greg Warren's taping went well? Greg Warren's. Yeah. Crushed it. Vecchione special. December 28th. Here. Yeah.

Right? Yeah. Here, then you got the Consumers every Tuesday, and then Don't Win We Come Back There with Melissa and Dustin every Thursday. Sweet. Awesome. Are you anywhere this weekend? I do not know. Fandy Plays Tennessee. I don't think I'm anywhere. Yeah.

Uh, if you're listening to this Wednesday, November 27th, the date comes out. I will be at Zany's tonight. The lab is Zany's for Brian Bates and friends. Come on out. Just a few tickets left, but we've got a great lineup again. So come bring your family, uh, on Thanksgiving Eve for that. December 13th. I'm at Hyenas Comedy Club in Fort Worth, Texas. Uh,

So please come to that as well. I'm going to sell that out. The day before Thanksgiving was always good on shows in New York. It was always a good night to do shows because a lot of people would come in for family. They want to go out. And it was always like that was a night that was always going to be crowded. Yeah. How...

Excited would you be? Vanderbilt beats Tennessee, knocks them out of the playoff. I mean, it could happen. It'd be something. I have one more big public show this year, December 13th. We just added this. Florence, Alabama.

which is a beautiful underrated city. I've been to Florence. I'm headlining the Shoals Theater. My wife was born there. Really? I'm headlining the Shoals Theater in Florence. All down there, yeah. December 13th. This is Aaron Weber speaking, by the way. I will be in Florence, Alabama. Shoals Theater, I've opened for people there for a while. I've done it so many times. For some reason, I'm...

I don't know. I'm headlining there. December 13th. Alex Valuto, who's done the podcast before. He's going to be with me. If you're in the Florence area, come on out. It's going to be. It's your only public show. The rest of the year. And then January, I'm back at it. I'm doing corpus. I'm working, dude. I want everybody to know. I could be doing more. You're my only public. We made fun of Dusty saying the public figure. Yeah. That goes in with well go. The only, like, I've, you know.

Hey, check me out next year. We'll be doing a lot more public shows. It goes right in hell. Let me give you guys the... Is it public or not public? Let me give you some of the dates of a working comedian here. I'm going to give you all my dates and be like, all those are private and here's the two that are public. December 13th.

Right? December 13th. You want to see Aaron in public. If you want to see a public figure in his element. In his element. That's going to be... Where? In Alabama. Florence, Alabama. Where he's the most comfortable. That's right. Basically,

Basically a hometown show. Hometown show. If there are certain companies that you work for in the greater southeast area, you might also see him. You get some corporates going too. Yeah, I got some stuff. I'm working. I'm working. A couple holiday parties. I regret the way I worded that. The ticketed show. How about that? Is that better? Just...

None of it sounds good. Just say his show. Yeah. But I don't want to say I have one more show this year because that's not, I mean, I'm working. Well, you did say that. I know, but you do. But one more pub? That's why I qualified it. It's very funny. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. I, Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, I'm at the Historic Everett Theater in Everett, Washington. Oh, yeah. It's hometown for you. Yeah. Little North End folks. Yeah. Which is nice. And then, uh,

December 5th and 6th, I'm at Bricktown Comedy Club in Oklahoma City and the 7th in Tulsa.

12th through 14th at Spokane, 27th through 29th in Phoenix. You go to Spokane. All public shows. That's probably pretty. I mean, Everett will be nice. Everett's great. Yeah, day before Thanksgiving is a good. We've done Everett together. We haven't done Everett, but we've done Spokane back when we would. Yeah, you did Everett recently. I did it. A lot of our fans were there. I believe you did the arena in Everett. Yeah. It's crazy. But I did the club with you in Spokane. Yeah.

I think I've done a theater in Everett too. Yeah, maybe. I've done... I think you've always been with me in Washington. I've done some of the Seattle stuff. I don't think I've done Everett with you, but we did Bellingham. I did Tacoma with you. Yeah. Tacoma. Mount Rainier. That's where the horse story is. Oh, yeah. That was fun. So...

Wicked? No. I got a lot of volleyball coming up. Bragg. Bragg. Kimmel Bragg. Where are you going to be this weekend? On Saturday, our son runs at the State Cross Country Meet.

State championships. Fresno. D1 in the state of California. Like the highest level that you can get. Oh, that's crazy. We're so excited. He's so fast. What's he running? His mile's about like a 420, 425. Is he running the mile? Well, cross country's a 3K. 5K. 3.12. Yeah, he's cooking. Starting to get looks from the team. So he's got like, how does he, he looks like he's got a, it's going to be a real fight.

He won't win because California, like a Texas or a Florida, they're so big. The kids who will win that are probably the fastest runners in the nation. But he'll be probably somewhere in the middle of the pack. Hopefully he gets a great time. And it's huge because he's getting recruited for colleges and stuff. What's a great, like under 20 minutes? Oh, well, I mean, if you got- 15th is a really great time for three miles. No, you want to average about a 5, 520 mile at his pace. Wow.

For three miles. Up and down in the rain. What if he is like the Oregon runner? Prefontaine? Yeah. What if he goes to Oregon? Yeah. Prefontaine. It would be great for me because then I would have an excuse to root for Oregon because they win a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And my dad would be proud. But that is like the hard, that's the best track school in, like one of the best track schools in America. Yeah. Yeah.

Y'all are the best. Thank you for coming. Thanks for having us. Yeah, this was great. This was fun. All right. We'll see you next week. I think I will be here next week. All right. Could be late again. I don't know. All right. We love you. Bye. Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform.

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