244: #244 Friendship
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Hello, folks, and hey, Barry, welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi, Brian Bates.

Aaron A-A-A-Ron. I just saw that thing again this weekend. It's just so funny, that clip. Key and Peele. The substitute teacher? Yeah. It's an all-time great sketch. It ruined my life. Yeah, but man, it's good. It's so good. And Dusty Slay. Okay. They should have thrown you in there. They should have. For that sketch, and then yours they just say correctly. Yeah. Yeah, Dusty Slay. My best friend growing up, his dad was Greek, and he would call me Doosty. Yeah.

Doosty Slug. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or is he in the trailer? No, no, no. Actually, my best friend had a two-story brick house. Whoa. Yeah, it was big time. Wow. Yeah. Real boy meets world kind of situation. Would you say you were Sean Hunter? Yeah. He was Corey? Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. Yeah. Yeah.

That's funny that you say the word brick. Oh, yeah. I would never even think to say that. To me at that time, it was very noticeable that it was like, oh, that's a nice brick house. If tornadoes are coming, you want a friend, let's get a brick house. Exactly. You would say, can I go to your upstairs during a tornado? And he goes, I don't think you're supposed to. It's better than where I'm at. Upstairs of a brick house is better than main floor of what I'm in. Yeah. Yeah.

Main floor, that's the only floor. That's the only floor. Yeah. It is the floor. Yeah, and it's, yeah, I mean, you're scared in any kind of storm in a tornado. Yeah. Except an earthquake. An earthquake's the one you're not worried about. Yeah. You weren't around earthquakes growing up, right? No, no. When I was in Seattle a couple weeks ago, there was an earthquake at night. Slept right through it.

Oh, yeah? But I woke up and everybody was like, did you feel the earthquake? I was like, nah. I wish I had because I've never felt one before. Yeah, I had an earthquake. There was an earthquake when I was- Like I fell out of bed about that time. Yeah. Yeah, he just shook. He was normal. I couldn't hear it over my sleep at me, a Darth Vader mask. He goes, my bed already shakes. Yeah.

The room's loud already. It just sounds like the vacuum's running. They walk by your room and they go, clean lady's getting after it tonight. Who's vacuuming at three in the morning? It's three. How long are they vacuuming? How much carpet could there be in that room?

I think there was an earthquake, they said, when me and Nick were in L.A. for the Vanity Fair thing. I got texts that were like, hey, did you feel that? And I didn't. Feeling an earthquake, I think I've talked about it before. It's wild. It's the most uncontrollable feeling, I think...

And maybe because, again, we're not used to it, but it's just, it's everywhere. Like a tornado or a hurricane, like you're like, all right, you can go somewhere. You can't if you're in it, obviously, but like it's not everywhere. And when you're in an earthquake-

It doesn't matter. Go. Run. It doesn't stop shaking. I think having vertigo is like just an earthquake for you. It's a personal earthquake. That is true. Like you're like, oh, but nobody else is like that. Yeah.

So if you've had vertigo, you might be ready for an earthquake. At least an earthquake, you're like, you're all going down with it. Yeah. But vertigo, you're just. Nobody can walk. They're all a little dizzy. That's very true. I think it was wireless headphones that gave me vertigo. I stopped using them. Oh, really? I'm wired now. I'm all wired again. They say wireless headphones, if you wear them both, they communicate with each other through your brain.

Yeah. Who's they? We know who they are. That's always the question. Now, we know who they is. I like they. In the 90s, who is they was a real question. We know who they is now. They is many people, but we know who they are. I don't think I do, but you know who they are. You know more than you know.

Aaron Rodgers still does the wires for that reason. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. With a picture of him at the ocean with a blanket around him. No, no, really. I just saw something like that, like, I guess, because he still hasn't told people where he's. Oh, he's hiding out? Yeah, where he's going. Where he's going. Oh, oh, football-wise? Yeah.

I went from, I, uh, let's go Titans. I bet if I met her, let's see that picture. Like him just saying, you know, like lowered expectations. Yeah. He did that. I'm a Shia. What's that thing they all do.

Where they go in the dark? Oh, ayahuasca? Ayahuasca. Oh, yeah. That's one that I'm like, ugh, hearing people talk about that. Yeah. You're like, and just tell people to do it. Someone's got three kids. Yeah. Barely surviving the check by check. Oh, do you want me to go on a magic ride? And you think that's going to fix everything? Yeah, maybe I should give it a go. These lunatics. Oh, yeah. That tell people to go do stuff makes me so mad.

It's just like, what planet are you on? Do you not remember? I think about, all I think about is growing up where you're like, it's check by check, food by food. Yeah. Can you imagine when you're growing up and someone tells your parents, go, why don't you take a- Go in the woods and take peyote. Yeah, for a month. What are you, out of your mind? Yeah.

Yeah, I couldn't imagine my parents doing something like that growing up. You either had parents that were doing it or they weren't. They can't. Either way, it was bad. You're either like, no, that's all my parents do, and I live on my own. Yeah. But yeah, the audacity, I always think when you hear someone to say, go do something like that is...

Insane. Absolutely insane. And then they go and just talk about it as if, well, if we all did it, we would be better. Are you... What? I mean, do you not remember...

Anything? No. Do they not remember, like, not being able to pick your kids up? Just the chaos of life. I've had people do that, tell me they did it, and then describe it to me, and I'm like, oh, no. I never want to do that. I look God in the eyes. Yeah. I'm like, I don't think that was God, and that sounds terrifying. Yeah. Well, make sure you can do it if you can go. Yeah. I'm sure everybody's got the time.

Nate Land, just a couple of little Nate Land news. Nick Thune has a brand new half hour special. Born young. Nick's the best. It premiered this weekend. It's very funny. Check it out on YouTube under Nate Land Entertainment. It's a great, great special. And I know we got some people got mad because I think he accidentally cursed.

in it but it's out now i will we but we did get we did not catch it and i don't think he realized he said it we're not perfect here at nateland i'm telling you we're going to fix it we're going to fix everything but i i want to be up front about the mistake it's not you know it was just an uh you know we're not you know as nateland we're not i'm not we're not perfect i'm not perfect

Brian's perfect, but the rest of us are not. I'm definitely not. Yeah. None of us are huge. Yeah, not perfect at all. But we're all going to get better. There you go. Yep. Character's in the trying.

Also, there's a Nate Land Presents show, Good, Clean, Funny, at the Ryman in Nashville on April 8th. It is featuring Ryan Hamilton, Dustin Nickerson, Derek Stroop, Lacey Larrabee, Mia Jackson, Paula Kozinski, and special host Aaron Weber. Oh, wow. How about that? That's good. Ryman Auditorium, big time. Yeah, that's a big one. Look, this is the kind of things, if you guys come support this kind of stuff, I'm

That's what Nate Land's about. And just so she doesn't get upset about her name being mispronounced, it's just Lace Larrabee. Lace Larrabee. Lace Larrabee. Lacey, yeah. It's like shoelace. Yeah, I grew up with Lacey. Yeah. I know Lace. Yeah, I'm sorry, Lace. Lace Larrabee. But great show, and this is the type of stuff that we're going to be doing. It's stuff like I'm not going to be at this stuff, and this is the stuff that helps people.

you know, drive everything that we're doing. So the more you guys support that kind of stuff, the better, uh, I think in the long run for a standup comedy for what we're trying to do here. So it's an amazing show. Ryan Hamilton's got, I mean, he's got a Netflix special. Uh, Dustin's obviously got a special with us. Derek's troop. Uh, very funny. Lace me. They were all on, they were all on, uh, it's a podcast with us. Yeah. Dustin.

Dustin Nickerson does our podcast. Don't make me come back there every Thursday. Also, Greg Warren's Consumer Every Tuesday. But those are two podcasts. But Dustin's there. And then Lace, Mia, and Paula were all on the Showcase series. So, yeah, make sure the rhyming's the best. It's something that's very helpful to what we're trying to do. Are you worried the show's going to start off too hot? That's kind of the only thing I'm worried about. With you.

Oh, you're talking about like because the host will be hot because of his size. We have... The Ryman's big. It's big. The Ryman's big. Yeah. We are, we know, we read Aaron's web. We read his rider. He asked for a walk-in cooler. Access. He doesn't ask. He's not a crazy person. He doesn't ask for the walk-in cooler. Just let me walk in the kitchen. Thank you.

What his writer says is, come on, I know you got one. I need a stool on the stage and in the cooler. Do you have one? I need access. I need the key. I need the key to the walk-in cooler. Yeah. So we will have that for Aaron.

But yes, it will start off hot. You coming in, bud? Oh, man. You fired up. I'm excited. It's going to be great. Got shorts on today. I do. I'm going home right after this, so I don't have to wear stage pants. It's pretty nice. You could have just wore pants for us. If you're a guy on the news...

I mean, you shorts all day, right? Oh, I mean, maybe short. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Like, what would you otherwise? What would you? Just underwear. Oh, okay. Yeah. Depending on who's next to me on the desk. Yeah. Yeah. But you're. I don't want it to be weird. You're on channel five and you're anchor by yourself. Could he sit with just underwear? There would be someone. Would everybody have to leave? Yeah. I don't think that'd be appropriate. They wouldn't. Did they not do that in the 90s?

Even it wasn't appropriate then. Wear your underwear? Yeah. Just on stage? No, suit and tie up top. Could they go shorts below? Yeah, shorts. And they would do that? Occasionally, yeah. I've seen it. Sports guys doing it. But for Aaron, you think he would do it?

Yeah, I think he would definitely do it. All year round, probably. Wouldn't even... You don't think he would ever... It's probably the first time I've ever worn shorts on the podcast. I don't think I'll ever do it again. This is the most of your legs I've ever seen. Thank God. Yeah. It's kind of chilly in this room, but it feels... It'd be weird if you seen more. Well, I'm saying... Well, yeah, it would be, because these are pretty small. But I'm saying...

This is the smallest shorts I've ever seen you wear. Do you want to stand up so everyone can see? I don't, actually. That's the whole point of this desk. Yeah. You're hoping no one is going to say something. That's tough. I'm wearing Crocs, too. I'm a mess. I'm a mess. Oh, man. I didn't know that. Crocs with socks. With socks. Yeah, but he always does that. But if I were doing the show after this, I'd wear shoes and pants because I don't want to disrespect the state. So the day, the fun story about...

So when I met Fallon, the first time, I think I probably talked about it, when he came into the comedy club, the stand, came downstairs, me, Giannis Pappas, Chris Laker, we were ending a podcast. Nate Land. Oh, no. No. It could be better. It could be better. Don't, yeah. It was a horribly run podcast.

It was 10 years ago. The name was It Could Be Better? Yeah. And then it was horribly run? Well, that was the point of it. That's appropriate. I came up with a name, It Could Be Better, because I wanted anybody that listened to it, if they go, this should be better, I go, no, no, we agree. We are calling It Could Be Better. We're starting out with, we know it could be better. You guys wrote a sitcom for you called Nate Land. Yeah. That's what I was thinking about. Yeah, yeah. It was very funny. We did that during that time as we're just learning how to do everything. Mm-hmm.

And then so we did all that. Anyway, so we get done with the podcast. Giannis shows up dressed like you. He has Crocs on shorts like, you know, clearly not. He was not going on stage. Yeah. Me and Laker both dressed as if we were. I think we were going on.

And then Fallon comes down. So then, and so Giannis was managed by the guys that ran that club. So then everybody's like, well, everybody needs to go up because Fallon's staying for the show. So then Giannis has to go up and he's in a situation just like this. Like if Fallon came into this show tonight and like, it's like, no, you need to go up. It's like, I mean, how, what are you going to do?

You'd be like, I've already done Fallon, guys. Yeah. No big deal. But if someone comes in and they, Chuck Lorre walks in, you know, and goes, I'm looking to make a sitcom. You know, for years, I would just have a pair of jeans in my car for that very reason. Even I would go to like a show where I go, I'm just going to watch. In the back of your head, there's always like,

They're going to come out and go, we can't find an opening. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want to always be able to. It's one of the rare times. I'd let you wear my pants. Yeah. We could find someone's, you know, I think if a couple of us threw in some pants. Yeah. There are seamstress here. Yeah.

Would you bring this desk out and go, your next comic will be... I'd do the set behind the desk. I'd find a podium or something. But if it was like, you got to go up, you just do it, right?

Yeah, I think now I'd find a way to just make a comment about it. Yeah, make fun of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's very funny. We love talking about our Helix mattresses. You do. I have had my Helix mattress almost three years now. Oh. Can you believe that? It's been a good three years for you, too. Yeah. It has been a good three years. A lot has to do with the mattress, I'm sure. That's true. You sleep good. Good night's rest. You feel good.

Yeah. You feel good, you do good. Nate's parents just got one and they love it. All right. So been a good three years for the Bargatze family too. Well, they just got it. Yeah. Well, they love it though. Look how good. That kind of offsets the whole point. Well, I bet things are not going to start going bad. That's true. Yeah, there you go. If things are already going good, they'll keep going. Oh, here's Nate's dad said it helps with his sleep apnea. Oh, how about that?

So he's not snoring at all now. Got rid of his CPAP. We all have a Helix mattress and we all love it. It improves how I sleep. Everyone knows I love their pillows, especially you guys. I do love their pillows. Let me tell you this. We have a lot of pillows on our bed and these are not decorative pillows. They're just a lot. We don't throw away pillows once we get new ones. We just keep putting pillowcases on them. And so they're stacked.

In a way that is not how I'm going to use them when I sleep. Of course. So I have to throw the first one on the floor. Then I have to put the second one down and then I have to move the last one and then put the second one back down because that's the Helix pillow. That's the one I sleep on. Yeah. It's a good pillow.

And it has helped with my sleep. I'm getting better sleep. Aaron's getting better sleep. Oh, yeah. Brian's getting better sleep. Oh, yeah. Look at these guys. My old mattress was one of those old springs, and I finally realized how bad that is for my sleep. I have a video on YouTube about my old mattress. Yeah.

I mean, I don't say in there, but I had a mattress that was so bad, I took it in the middle of the night and threw it in a dumpster, and the mattress was able to fold over onto itself. That's how disgusting it was. I fell asleep eating a burrito on that mattress one time. Good times. Helix fixes that issue and so many more.

It's great for hot sleepers, people with back pain, snores, sleep apnea. It's for everyone. Go to helixsleep.com for their 20% off site-wide for March Madness. That's helixsleep.com for 20% off their site-wide.

They're site-wide for March Madness. Sale ends on March 27th. Helixsleep.com slash Nate. All right. Well, we're back. Where were you guys at?

I was in Beverly, Massachusetts, just outside Boston at Off Cabot Comedy Club, Friday and Saturday. Keep those cities no one's heard of a lot. Yeah, yeah. Beverly, Massachusetts. Somebody said my tour should be called the Just Outside Of Tour. Yeah, Just Outside Of. That's a good one, too. That is a good tour. That is a good tour, Just Outside Of. Yeah. Anyway, great shows. A lot of Nate Land folks came out. Had a great time and...

Yeah, it was just a lot of fun. Flew there. Yep. Yep. Flew home at 5 a.m. yesterday morning. Wow. What time did you, where'd you fly to? Boston? Mm-hmm. And, you know, hit Dusty up.

go get some coffee, but he blew me off. So you're in Boston too. Yes. I was. Well, I don't, by the time you got there, I had already ate and now I'm sitting back in my hotel and I'm like, I don't, I'm not into. Yeah. I'll see Brian in two days. Yeah, exactly. And I invited Brian out for cigars and he said no. So yeah, that's true. Well, did you stay in Boston? No. Beverly's like,

That cigar shop you sent me was like 36 minutes away. It was pretty far from you. That's a hike after a show. Yeah. And again, you will see each other. Yeah. Here we are. Yeah. But I mean, I wanted to go to a coffee shop because I got berated all week from last week's episode because I criticized Dusty's top five Nashville coffee shops and all the dusty heads came out and attacked me all week. Yeah.

I've got death threats. Yeah. I wanted to show people that, look. So anyway, it was a big deal. Yeah.

I edited. So that I feel like you look, you look like a big kid wearing that Vanderbilt t-shirt. I feel like a big kid. Yeah. You just feel like your, your dad brought you to the Vandy game today. I don't know why it's short sleeve. I think. And I think that's why it's like, it just, yeah. You're typically a collared shirt guy. Yeah. That is true. It's true. Yeah. I feel like,

Aaron now, the short. I know. It's a little inappropriate. Yeah, it's a little vulnerable. I'm excited about Vanderbilt. I'm excited about Vanderbilt too. I am too. It looks like you're waiting in line to meet Will Purdue at this age. I would so love that. And I'm not talking about 1990. I'm talking about 2025. He follows us.

He's the best. He is. He's our goat. Well, Darius Garland might be our goat. Yeah, but he played, what, four games?

That's true, but he was there. That's right. Will Purdue played, so he would initially be out more. He's got a championship. But Darius Garland, it is crazy how close we were to having a star. Vanderbilt, March Madness. That's exciting. We're very excited. 2-15, I think, on Friday against St. Mary's. Wow. Can't wait. We can't wait. But anyway, last week, Dusty gave a top five coffee shops in Nashville. Hot list. Mm-hmm.

And I just questioned who would care about this. And the people let me know. Well, I did not do you any favors editing that clip. Because in reality, Dusty did his entire list. It took a long time. And then Brian was like, well, who's going to care about that? It only took a long time. I made it look like. It was getting a lot of negative feedback from you guys the whole time. Well, you had honorable mentions. He did his wife's top three coffee shops in Donaldson. Oh, wow. So, I mean, it kept getting more and more specific. Yeah.

We did seven coffee shops. I didn't even know. I couldn't name seven coffee shops. Well, you know, we live in Nashville. I think we should really put some, you know, pride into putting our stuff out on the- You could off the top of your head name seven. Oh, no. He put work into this. Yeah. I mean, I could name many more, I think. And he did. Really? But I put seven together. And some for his wife. One of the seven was for her. Yeah. Crema. How many do you go to? Well-

Well, you know, I go to a lot, you know, just depending on where I'm at. There's some good spots. Yeah. I think if you were going around the country, these are my favorite coffee shops around the country. I mean, but I think Starbucks, Dunkin' Donuts, local radio. But I think that because we live here, we should give a shout out to some of our, you know, our local people. Yeah, I agree.

I look to go take the Dusty Coffee Shop tour. That's what I'm saying. Everyone said that. I just went on the record. I think his list was stupid, and so is he. All right. Let's move on. That's what I'm talking about. High team page. There was no coffee shops back in his day. Yeah, exactly. He doesn't come from coffee shops. Folgers. They had to grow their own beans back then. Yeah. He goes, it's out of a can.

He'd go, my mom's house, my mom's house, my mom's house. That's his three favorite coffee shops. Yeah, you used to get that. Remember getting that freeze-dried block of coffee? We used to get that at the grocery. Like a Folgers, it was freeze-dried. Oh, I remember that. Yeah. I don't think we ever had it. Yeah. Never heard of that. Aaron? Where was I? Yeah. Where were you wearing shorts this weekend? I was with Kathleen Madigan this weekend in Macon, Georgia, Charleston, South Carolina. Actually, I was in a bar.

I actually went to the coffee shop he recommended in Charleston. I went there. Oh, yeah. Kudu Coffee. Kudu Coffee. It's great recommendations. I was trash on the list, too, and then I was like, I'm in Charleston. I'd like to find a piece. Kudu's a hot spot. Kudu's a good spot. It is a good spot. Broke my toe this week. That's the big news. Stubbed it real hard. It completely broke, and it hurts, and I can feel it right now. It's part of the reason I'm wearing Crocs, because they hurt in tennis shoes right now. There's nothing to do about a broken toe.

There's another. It's my pinky toe. So they're like, yeah, he's got it. How'd you do it? I stubbed it on something in my foot.

You stepped on it on your other foot. Crushed it with your own weight. You crisscrossed. I was doing crisscross. I was trying to do the break dance. Oh, yeah. You stepped on your own foot. And it broke. He doesn't want to say it. No, I stubbed it on some furniture.

At the hotel? No, at the house. Oh, yeah. You did break it? Yeah, I definitely broke them. I'll show you a picture later. You're having a lot of trouble. It's still bad. It hurts. You are going through it right now. Yeah. It's just not my... I think next year is going to be great. This is a tough year. I think I'm buckling in for a tough year, man. Yeah, I mean, man, it is March 17th, and you're already just like...

But you've already been on Fallon. Your special has over 300,000 views. Yeah, but I think that now it's over. He's been out. It's over. It was too uploaded. That's true. I should have spread all that stuff out. It started too hot. It started off too hot. And so now you're sick. Now what do you do? There's nowhere to go but down. You keep breaking bones. Go to the hospital. He's got to just get through the year.

This is into the next year where, man. 26. Next January, February, March is going to be hot. It's going to be great next year. Yeah. How's your year going? How's your year going? Yeah. Yeah, that answer right now, how's your year going? Great. It's going great. It's starting to go bad, but it's going great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Asking too much. Yeah, you got sick in a hotel, and now you're breaking your toes. Yeah.

but uh shows were good kathleen's the best yeah and i'm it's just so funny i'm in boston this weekend and you were at the charleston music hall which is uh you know uh my friend charles carmody is the director there great place great spot great charleston music hall used to let me do shows there it's a 900 seat venue they used to let me do shows there when i was selling 50 tickets

And it was fun. And you agreed to that. Yeah. Well, Charles was my friend. He was like, yeah, we're just the. I would think you'd go for a smaller venue. No, when there's no. It's like Titan Stadium will let me do. When you don't know anything about comedy, when you don't know anything about anything, and then there's no comedy club in your town. That's true. He's like, you want to do the musical? I'm like, yeah, that sounds great. Let's do it.

Yeah, I would have done it too. Yeah. Of course. But anyway, that was good. I did it with Nate. Yeah, it's great. It's a great spot. You guys know Charles? Yeah. He's a great guy. He's a nice guy. But I'm going to be in Boston this weekend. Pick up where you two guys left off. Real mainland takeover of Boston. Yeah. This month. By the way, the Kudu coffee shop you said was a goat?

Well, I said it's goat-like or deer-like. Yeah, apparently it's its own thing. Yeah. Yeah, people are like, I bet kudu's a kudu. And it's like, yeah, sure. I mean, but it's deer-like. What is a kudu? I've never heard of this. It's a deer-like. It's an antelope. Yeah, it's a deer-like. It's an African antelope. Yeah. I mean, come on, guys. I love it. A kudu's a kudu. I had never heard of this animal either. Yeah, me either. I think I've seen it.

Yeah. Just out and about? On stuff. I mean, those horns are real demonic looking, you know? So you got to know it's a real animal. I mean, that's an awesome looking animal. Yeah, it sure is. Like that's, it is, that's a cool animal. If it's real. Yeah. You make some kind of a shofar out of those horns, you know? What's that? Blow the shofar. It's like a,

It's like a, you know, religious, you know, like you do, you blow in, you do blow the shofar for religious holidays. Yeah. Yeah. You into that? Yeah. The first thing I read, it says conservation status. I think I read it as, uh,

conservative i go oh it's republican they go all right it looks like that but they got a stance like that yeah you go i could see that yeah uh this is the least concern so they're they're not endangered at all oh wow oh they give it a yeah they get what's nt mean not time endangered not that not that least concern is lnt

Oh, NT. EX is extinct, so is NT no trouble? Yeah. VU is very... Very... Unstable. Underwhelming. Vulnerable. EW, extinct in the wild. That's crazy. Oh, yeah. Animals that are just in zoos. Oh, wow. Critically endangered. We got them all locked up. Let them out, maybe. Let them out. Yeah.

Anyway, fun weekend. Okay, good coffee spot. One time they got mad at me because they served beer there, and my buddy was taking too long to drink his beer, so I was like, let's go, dude. And so I went and got him a to-go cup, and then they knew what we were doing, and then they came out and yelled at me. At the coffee place. I was like, okay, guys, whatever. Yeah, whatever. You go. Yeah.

But I was in Boston this weekend. I did... I forget the name of the theater, but it was a nice theater. Schubert. Schubert, yes. Very nice. Fun show. Great show. I did about an hour and 10 minutes there at that show. And then the next night, I went to Toronto, Canada. Hour 21 minutes. Boom. I think a new personal record, I think. We got...

We all got it on the text thread. No context to it. I mean, it would really honestly be only people that listen to this podcast and us four. If we were all on a text thread, we would only be the only ones that would know what that meant.

Oh, man. I was pumped. But we got it. We got it. We then got one from Bates. Very good. Mine was a joke. Oh, yeah. As soon as I saw that, I thought, I'm starting my clock. Oh, that's funny. I had to wait 43 minutes to do the joke, but... You should... Oh, 39 would have been funny. I was trying to think what... How far should I go to make it seem realistic? That was the most realistic. 43 is the most realistic. 43 was... I thought it was real. Where you go like, I have to do 45, but it's a slog there. Yeah. Yeah.

I do not work. 39 would be the funniest joke, I think. Because you couldn't even get to... It's a feature set. Yeah. It's like the feature could argue that he should have kept going to 39. Yeah. But they were both great shows. In Toronto, my buddy Derek Humphrey opened for me. And in Toronto, my wife came because she lived in Toronto for a long time. And then about...

15 of her family members came, and then she did the announcement. She brought Derek on stage from offstage. Oh, that's fun. She used to do comedy, so for her to do a little thing like that was pretty exciting. Is that the first step she's going to be opening for? I don't think she wants to do it, but it was exciting and fun, and it's a great show. I always thank you for the Nate Land crews.

Lachlan Patterson, Graham Kay, Hannah, do an Old Canada show. How about that? Yeah. Brian's already booking the cruise. Oh, I got a lot more ideas. That's just one that came to mind. There's your cruise director, Brian Bates. I've got some more ideas, but that's all I'll share right now. But it was great. Boston's great. Toronto's great. It was awesome. Had sushi in both places. It was delicious. Yeah. I loved it.

We were on spring break, or it was last week. I went skiing. I've never skied before. How did that go? It was good. Were you good at it? No, I never got... I mean, I was fine. I never got down a bit. I never left the... Bunny slopes? Bunny mountain. Are there people snowboarding on the same... Yeah. Now, why did you go...

You strike me as more of a snowboard guy. I've said, I want to go snowboarding. Everybody says it's much harder to snowboard than is the ski. And so then you get kind of talked into it. Harper, I mean, picked it up. She was gone. They, she skied a ton. I really enjoyed it. It was nice to, when you're up there, cause you're having to like focus so much on what you're doing. So it felt like a break. Uh, cause your mind just is like, you know, you're trying to stay up and fell down a few times. Uh,

and you fall down you're just helpless you just go just flip over yeah but it was like perfect we're in colorado and um it was like where it's like hot you know it's like 40 degrees or 39 degrees but it's it's like almost hot like you could ski and have y'all ever skied no never have one time really like when i was 25 how'd it go oh where at how'd it go uh like pan or something

You always have something weird. Didn't you go to Japan? I did go to Japan. Yeah, something weird. Dude, I can't think of it. Yeah. What'd you do in Japan? I don't know. Just a vacation? I visited a friend of mine who was there teaching English. Oh, okay. Brian's kind of weird. He had about a two-year window of his life where he was out there. He's went to some places. I've been to Australia. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard you talk a bit about that. Italy, the Netherlands. I'm a little traveler. Yeah, I'm crazy. Italy, Netherlands. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah. And then said. That's why it just drives everywhere now because he's like, I've seen it. He's seen the world. Guys, come on. I mean, I'm happy for you guys. He doesn't fly because he's like, I don't know. There's so much smoke on a plane. No, it was like Cherokee, North Carolina or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Smoky Mountains. How'd you do? I couldn't get on the ski lift. It is tough. I kept falling off. What's tough about it?

I mean, it's hard to... So it comes up from behind you? Yeah, yeah. But you just sit down. As it... It almost... It like tabletops you. If you put a bag of sand there, I think it'd pick it up. You just said it was hard. You stand there, it knocks your feet out from under you, you're sitting down.

Yeah, that was my hardest part. I had to walk up the hill each time to get back down. Dude, I tried walking up with skis on. It's crazy. It was very, yeah, skiing was very funny. Tell me this. Is it, I don't know, this might rub people the wrong way. I wonder, but guys from the South that have never skied,

Is there, do you think people from the South skiing, Southern people, does it feel kind of high end to you? Of course. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like, so when you, there's something to it that, because even when I was there, I could feel myself being like annoyed at the people that said they grew up skiing. Oh, yes. It's the most pretentious vacation activity you can do. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I thought that way about golf.

I think I've gotten better. I mean, obviously, I play so much golf. I do, too, but there's so many courses that are just nothing. I mean, it's a goat track. It's probably ski mountains like that, too. I bet. Oh, I bet there is. So, you know, if someone's from the north, I don't think that at all. I would never think. They go, we grew up skiing. I'd be like, I figured they did because there's just snow up there. But if you're from the south,

and you grew up, you're like, yeah, we used to always go skiing on vacation. I mean, I'm borderline, we didn't really do vacations. We didn't even take a trip far enough to get to snow ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like just the trip in and of itself. Yeah. You went to Colorado? Trips were always to the beach. Always to the beach or Gatlinburg. That was all of my vacations. I don't even remember if we went to the beach. We just didn't do trips.

We did Gatlinburg, Chattanooga. Yeah, we did Gatlinburg, Chattanooga, Panama City Beach, and Dauphin Island.

Well, you're pretty fancy. Yeah. We know where y'all spent your money, not at the home. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Where'd your dad meet his wife? Y'all had nice cars. You had nice cars, went on good trips. Yeah. But slept in a. Yeah, slept in a trailer. Yeah. Let's spend it on, you know, having a good time. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good philosophy. Having a good time. Yeah.

Daylight savings time just happened. It's the perfect time to optimize your morning routine now that more sunlight is greeting you throughout the day. It's actually darker in the mornings now, but...

more daylight later in the day so i get more done in the dark anyway yeah there you go it's like sun no sun don't focus on it you know what i mean yeah even if there is no sun it's hard to get going sometimes in the morning but if you have ag1 that's the perfect thing exactly to kind of get your energy going if the sun's not going to help you at least the ag1 will yes yeah exactly dusty loves coffee but i love ag1 in the mornings i think we can all agree that we're happy it's back and

And we have longer days again. Oh, that's still about the sun. But we also all agree on how AG1 helps us shake off any lingering grogginess. Yeah. It helps us fully embrace those brighter mornings. Again, it's darker now in the mornings. But anyway, it's

six months ago, this would have been great. Taking it every morning just sets the tone for a good day. I know I'll be more productive and overall more energized throughout the day. We're proud to call AG1 our sponsor of this podcast. It's been with us since the beginning, guys. I call him a friend at this point. It's been with us longer than Dusty. That's true. That is true. I think most people are happy about that. Yeah.

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and five free travel packs in your first box. So make sure to check out drinkag1.com slash nate to get this offer. That's drinkag1.com slash nate to start your new year on a healthier note. All right, let's start with your guys' comments. Anthony Cheesum, Chezum.

You don't think it's Cheezum? I think Cheezum. Pro tip. On episode Nate isn't on, listen in your car with Waze on and voila, Nate is now on the episode. Look at that. I guess it jumps in. It cuts in. It'll cut you off. That's pretty funny. Wow. Good to know. It'd be like a real episode. We're having fun and then Nate just jumps in with something unrelated. A lot of people say they like it better. Not fun. Brings you to a halt. Jacob Wilson.

Dusty is the voice of reason and is held back by brisket. Oh, geez. Yeah. I will not stand for the slander that occurs on Reddit or other places. Let the man tell the truth. There you go. Yeah, this guy gets it. And it's also not the first time that brisket's held me back. You know what I mean?

You ain't going to get stuff like that anywhere else. Shelly Young. A year ago, I visited Nashville. I would have liked to have known the top five coffee shops. However, my bucket list item was to eat at a Waffle House. We don't have them in California, and they often make the news for various strange reasons. I didn't experience anything out of the ordinary, but my question is, have any of you ever had a weird experience at a Waffle House?

I got a Waffle House this weekend. Yeah. At like noon. I don't think you had to set it. Just assumed. Yeah. There you go. Breaking news. Tell us when you didn't. Yeah. I become a big Waffle House during the day. I like it in there. Yeah. It's a totally different place during the day. Yeah.

It's nice. There's usually like the 40-year vet waitress, you know, and she's winding down in her life and her career, and she's, you know, just a good energy in there. You go late at night, it's like, yeah, it's like a – It's a zoo. It's a zoo. I got kicked out of a Waffle House before. Here we go. I went with my buddy. We both were pretty drunk. We had gone to the bar, and then we got into a fight with each other in the Waffle House. Yeah.

This was before Uber. He called a cab to come get him. And then I'm just sitting there now waiting on my food. Were you at the bar or at a table? At a table. And then the lady was like, oh, you have to leave.

And I was like, well, I'm waiting on my food. I do this every night. And then they brought it to me in a to-go box. And then they let me go get in my car and drive home. They just made me leave rather than letting me eat a little food. My friend was gone. The argument was over. He was being irrational. And I had to yell at him. And he left. Was this in Charleston? Yeah. I went to Waffle House in Charleston. And they said, we're closing at midnight. And then after that, you have to order at a window. Oh.

Oh. So. Yeah, Waffle House is not the same. This lady went a year ago. Waffle House has changed. You know, some good, some bad. But it used to be a real wild place. It's like the show Cops. Yeah. If you wanted to go revisit that. You used to have a joke about taking a friend to Waffle House. Yeah.

I used to go there a lot during the day when I sold pesticides. I've also been kicked out of a huddle house, too, which is like a Waffle House. Yeah. I've been kicked out of a lot of places. Yeah. I went to a Waffle House in Charleston, actually. A couple, two, three years ago, late night, there was high school prom or homecoming. Oh, yeah. That went there. It was like 15 kids. They moved tables together. Yeah.

Not a single one of them tips. Yeah. Yeah, you got to hate that. Yeah. The server let me know about the plan when they left. That's frustrating. But it's one of those. How did he push together a Waffle House?

Aaron's a big tipper, though. I don't know if push table. They just kind of like we're a group. I bet Aaron made up for it. Aaron's a great tipper. I'm not asking you to say yes or no, but I bet he made up for it. I did, yeah. But that's like one of those tough, you know, I always like kind of you're like it's like a kid doesn't know. I mean, you should teach them.

and let them know. And it's like they go there and, you know, it's like you just think sometimes you're so young and you're like, I don't even understand the concept. They haven't had a job yet. Yeah, but, you know, there's also going to be the various that they do know and they're being mean and stuff and there's the various that they don't know. And I remember getting both of those. When I waited tables, you'd get, you know, I had someone give me a dollar once. They came over and gave me a dollar. That's how they go, you were great.

And here's a dollar. And so it's like, I'm not going to get mad at that person. That was my parents' go-to tip. A dollar. I've waited tables at Western Sizzlin'. I mean, and you get sometimes change. Yeah. And I don't think people are trying to insult you. No. Yeah. Some are. Some are cheap. And then some are generally maybe they don't know. Yeah. You got to just...

That's what I always thought when you're waiting tables. You're like, yeah, I mean, I hope not to be here. Like if you're taking it that serious, then it's like, well, then move up in the world of rain. Like go get to a fine dining where you're, you know, it's,

Aaron is a great tipper, by the way. Every time I go to eat with Aaron, I have to look at his receipt to see what he tipped just to make sure he's not making me look bad. It costs a lot of money to eat with Aaron if you don't want to look bad. Y'all ask for separate checks?

Yeah. Or do you get the credit card and go split it down the middle? Now I go, are you looking at the percentage? I go, I, you know, I didn't eat that much. Yeah. You go, I'm not paying for your appetizer. Yeah. Are you looking at the percentage of the actual number? Cause the actual number is going to be higher. Yeah. Yeah. Lower percentage, but five times as much. Yeah. Yeah. Those were his two appetizers. Uh,

An appetizer at Waffle House is great. Bring me out a waffle to get started. I'll take it. Let's get some hash browns to split here. You know what? I would take three cups of butter and then let us look at the menu. Let's get some toast for the table first. Yeah. Appreciate that, man. Travis Duff. This is my formal petition to call the Nateland comments folk tales.

Last week our subject was folktales. Okay. That's a good suggestion. Folktales. I don't know if it'll catch on. We're going to read the folktales. Yeah, draw it up, Travis. We'll sign it. Change.org. Brian Blue. Dusty said he wanted to talk to his HOA about making everyone in his community plant fruit trees. That makes me think Dusty will consider Tom Brown a folk hero.

He has spent 25 years researching and rescuing lost apple varieties. He has found and rescued 1,200 varieties of apples. He interviewed people. He interviews people in rural parts of Appalachia to find defunct orchards, orchards,

To find defunct orchards. This is a long, this was too long of a thing. That's not fair. Orchards to look for apple varieties. I'm not expected to ever read that long. I'm into that. Yeah, I mean, I think Tom Brown seems great. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't know if I said make, but maybe I did. But I just think...

That instead of just so – like we have so many of these plum trees, these ornamental – what is it? Pear trees, these ornamental pears. There's not a real fruit on them. Everybody has them. It's like why do we not have real fruit trees out here? I just don't understand why all of our neighborhoods are not filled with fruit trees that we can just go and pick fruit off of. I don't understand why we're not doing that.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Like a neighborhood, you just go like, hey, hey, guys, let's plant apple trees and we all eat our own. Yeah. Maybe it's like you're just like, what if someone gets sick from that? You know, it's like it all ends up becoming insurance law. Like that's what everything becomes because you always hear that the liability, the blah, blah, blah, all this kind of stuff where you're like, yeah, if you want apple trees, it's like, well, just plant them in your yard.

Yeah. But if we all did it, then there would be this abundance of fruit that we could all just exchange with each other. And everybody, instead of going to the store and spending $20 on fruit, you just have it. Is it a lot of work to maintain a fruit tree, or do they just take care of themselves? Ah.

I mean, I think you probably got to prune them, but... So why don't you just do it for you? There's pruning. Well, I do do it for me, but I'm saying there's pruning being done already. You're saying like if there's a median in the neighborhood, throw some fruit trees on there. Why not? And then we got fruit for the whole neighborhood. Then what are you going to say? Everybody, you're allowed two apples a month. Well, that's why I'm saying just every neighborhood, every yard have one fruit tree. Yeah. And then you got your own fruit.

But if you want to trade with some other people, you can. You want to live in a commune. I told him last week, he's like Kramer. He's like Kramer. He has great ideas that are a little out there. I know, but I think it's – Everyone should wear a name tag so we all know each other. But it's like everybody – No, no, I don't like that. I think people are just like working and living life, man. And I think it would be a lot to have. Well, that's why – yeah, I mean it's just like all I'm saying is instead of the other trees that we already have –

Let's have fruit trees. But I don't think – Because they've cut down all the trees that we have right now. In L.A., they have orange trees. I would say my dad – I would say they do say you need to prune them. My dad has a pear tree. My dad's never pruned it. His dad planted it. His dad died in 1966. Still kicking out pears? Still – it puts out so many pears that it breaks the limbs of the tree. It has so many pears. Okay.

One of them is going to fall and break a windshield and you'll get sued. You know what I mean? But it'll be your pear tree. So there's no one to sue. It's your pear tree.

When you run for mayor of McMinnville, that should be your platform. Yeah. Yeah, you're going to have to build your own city and get like-minded people to move there, and then they all drink juice and, you know. Come in. Come in. There you go. I think we've seen how all this goes. We're talking about... It all starts with, why can't we have some fruit trees for our community? And then you end up watching a Netflix documentary about it, and you go, huh. Yeah.

Well, this is what I'm going to do. The Slayers. Yeah. The Slayers.

this is the future Dusty would look like someone that they Oh for sure that linen shirt that you wear you look like you're about to talk about stuff little man bun going on and you gotta see a lot of people he was nice you could start something a comedian could easily be a cult oh yeah they're just so we already know how to talk and then so you just kind of get some people into your vibes yeah

And then that's what we're talking about. Yeah, I mean, that's secretly what I've always wanted. I wish the best of luck to you. The comedy thing just happened. I don't know how this happened. Yeah, yeah. I've had other plans. Austin Meek. Austin Mike. Me-ike. Austin Meek. On February 24th, I nearly died in a motorcycle accident. A what? Sorry. Sorry, Austin. This is serious.

On February 24th, I nearly died in a motorcycle accident and spent a week in the ICU. One of the first things I did when I had the energy was catch up on Nate Land.

There's something comforting about getting to spend a couple hours with y'all. Keep doing what you're doing. It's truly a blessing to the folks. We have tickets to see Dusty March 22nd in San Antonio, and my goal is to be healed up enough to make the show. Wow. All right. Austin, two shows this weekend. Yeah. March 21st in Beaumont. March 22nd, San Antonio. It's going to be hot. Yeah. Go out to that. I'm glad that you survived, Austin. Yeah. Yeah. You know,

You know what's interesting? I just noticed. Take a car to the... Yeah. Bus. Say ICU. Yeah. But when it's nobody... Like the NICU is the NICU, but nobody calls ICU the IQ. Have you ever heard it called the IQ? That's a good question. IQ...

It's the ICU. I'll be honest with you. I never heard it called the NICU until this year. What did you? Just NICU. Interesting. I've never heard that. I think I've heard NICU. See, I'm not saying I'm right, but I'm just saying I don't think I've ever heard NICU until this year. Is it because your communities don't believe in medicine? Maybe. Not formal medicine. Maybe, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Traditional medicine. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, because you only read it on protest posters that say, NICU. Yeah. It's all hospital, right? They're in the hospital. Yes. We don't get specific about what part. Austin, heal up quick, buddy. Man. Yeah, heal up quick. Go see Dusty. Go see Dusty. It's going to be a hot show. Yeah.

San Antonio's an underrated city. You think you're going to... Give him a heads up if you could do an hour 20. He's got a bad leg. Well, I probably will. I'm trying. I got to write a new joke. I recorded a special. Now I got to write new jokes. So... Bring... Yeah. Sit and get... I mean, hour 20 could just be the beginning. I mean, in Boston, I did my old hat joke. Somebody yelled out, is your hair real? And I did my old hat joke. And it felt good.

That joke went so well, I was like, ah, that's the best joke I ever wrote. And I even said, I'll never write a better joke. Do you encourage people to yell out? No, but they do. It just happens. I don't really discourage it. Yeah. What happens, happens. Yeah. That's great.

Russell Young, the Vandy women's basketball coach is our cousin, and we go to almost all the games. Can we get a little Vandy women's basketball love for the nationally ranked team and their superstar freshman, Mykyla Blinks? I know Mykyla scored 50 points. Twice. Twice. I knew that.

And the women's team is doing great. I think we're... I knew that. I was keeping an eye on them. I know... Because I don't think they were ranked, but then we beat... She had 53 or something? 53 against Florida, and then I think she had 55 against somebody else. Yeah. She'd been killing it, dude. All right. Fannie Wim is the number seven seed in the tournament. Yeah. There we go. Who we got first? Oregon. All right. It's over on the right there. Wow. Yeah. We got that. Okay. Then we got Duke. Duke.

Women's Vandy basketball all the way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's good. We've had a rough go with Vandy's women's basketball for a little bit. And so it's nice to see. And we got a star. 50 points, man. Yeah, it's big time. I mean, that's crazy. Let's see Mikayla. Blakes. Yeah, she's great. I mean, it's really – I guess if people scored 50 points, was she the first one to –

I'm sure she's not. I think she's a freshman. Freshman scoring record. Yeah, that's nuts, dude. Yeah. Yeah, it was on 55. 55 points. 55 points. Barrage, they're called. Yeah, it's crazy. That's crazy. Is that a record?

It says the rare is the records broken one year with the same player. Oh, no. Yes, she had a record at 53. She had earlier this season 53 points, and then she broke her own record 55. Wow. SEC freshman single game scoring record. Wow. Amazing. Yeah, she's the real deal, man. It's very, very fun. Yeah. Oh, it's the most points scored by a freshman in NCAA history.

It was 54. Now it's 55. All right. And it's at a van. That's almost the most the whole team's ever scored in a game, too. I mean, there's no reason for that. I didn't. Well. What? Well, I think that game was overtime. Sorry. That's a joke. Well, why do y'all bear bad news? That's how. I know. I'm just.

Doing it for that reason. No, she killed it. Laura Lee Parker Morton. A lot of names. Laura Lee Parker Morton. I found a portrait of Nate at her local antique store.

That's you in the future. That is. Time traveling, Nate. How far? Tomorrow? Four or five years. I mean, it looks like I started to paint Nate and then just got over it. He goes, I'm not finishing this. It was like he already had a picture of his grandfather and he was like,

He reminded us of Nate, so he goes, all right, well, I'll just kind of go from there. You ever feel like you see prototypes of people? I felt like I saw a Nate prototype at the airport yesterday, but it was a guy that looked like you, but things had not gone as well. He looked like he was an aggressive kind of guy, and it just...

I don't know. I feel like you see these prototypes. There's a few Aaron prototypes out there, like a Luke Combs is a bit of an Aaron prototype. The football player, was it Cade Mays? Oh, that dude. I don't know if I've been tagged in anything more often. What was that dude on the...

On the Panthers? Yeah. Yeah, this dude. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that is you. Yeah. The one down there below it, right there. Yeah, this is the one, Brad. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. He's a good-looking guy, I think. Yeah. Looks like Brad Pitt. He is. He is a good-looking guy. Football, hey, first aim the wrong beam.

Compared to professional football players. I feel like one of those many, many J.D. Vance memes was of this guy, too. That's probably true. Those are everywhere. Ben Calvert. Idaho wasn't the only state to come up with crazy ways to deal with problem beavers. In the 1970s, wildlife officials in Huntsville said,

Released 50 alligators in the Tennessee River to stop beavers from damming up. They didn't think the alligators would survive or winters, but they did. And now people are running into them a little more often. Wow. That's crazy. Oh, wow. When... This Huntsville, Alabama? Yeah. Aaron, when... Wow. The episode after the Idaho episode, someone wrote in and said that beavers in Idaho were causing damage, so they...

They put them on a plane and parachuted them into another part of Idaho. Oh, yeah, yeah. So this guy's just letting me know. Oh, that's crazy. That was a huge alligator, by the way, on that video. And I like that it just passed by that bird. It's not even worried about that. You see that little bird there? He's just trying to get in the shade, dude. Yeah. He's not trying to start anything. Yeah, that's crazy.

You guys have alligators down in Southern Alabama? I'm sure. I never was really that far down. I was never. You never are thinking about it. Like, I might run into an alligator today. Yeah. More snakes. Snakes was a big one. Yeah. Snakes. Fire ants. Yeah, fire ants for sure. Yeah. Sorry. I just thought of a joke. Yeah. Adding into something. No. You know what? If y'all can remember to remind me.

If I get it in. What's the deal with. The special. I'll let you know what I ended up. What part I wrote down. Okay. At some point. I mean, it'll have to be the specials out and stuff. But it's a little added in. It's just something an added in part. And a little piece. A little piece of you can do this into this. All right. Thanks for carrying the weight. You guys while I was writing down that podcast.

boom came to a halt i was even kind of like i mean we were waiting with bated breath to hear what you wrote yeah i mean we really milked that alligator thing yeah now we're like all right let's see what bethany raymond has to say bethany raymond i was a wait guesser at cedar point amusement park in the mid 90s oh man the hazards are real my co-workers had a guest come back later in the day and punch her because she had guessed him too old

He must've stood over it all day to make a point to come back. Guessing is really about volume and not accuracy. Yeah, that's tough, dude. I mean, that's, I mean, wait, wait. So there was a weight guesser and an age guesser, I guess. Uh,

uh because he's like you guessed me too old and it's like i guessed your weight sir yeah yeah well i think in the 90s there was just more money to go around yeah we were just guessing we were good doing good stuff no but i think you had to do it all but i could see that you could make someone i mean it would be you know they put you put a kid in there that doesn't think about they're not thinking about don't ask a woman's weight or ask a man's age like you don't have any of these kind of

There was an old Bill Engle joke where he's talking about going to a fair, and I forget exactly how it started, but he goes, the weight-guessing guy said no. You don't want me yelling that number out.

Every now and then a television show comes along where you feel like you have to watch it. You feel like all week people are talking about it, and I have FOMO, dude. I don't want to be the one guy who hasn't seen it. So what I've done over the years is I sign up for all these streaming services just for one show, and then I forget about it. And then I'm paying hundreds, thousands of dollars over the years. Keeping up with the Joneses. Exactly. I mean, not anymore with Rocket Money.

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faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash nate today. That's rocketmoney.com slash nate. One more time for the people in the back. Rocketmoney.com slash nate. Drew Pritchett. So Brian, Aaron, and Dusty have come to Comedy Off-Broadway and killed it. I'm a door guy here. What are the chances we could get Nate to do a weekend in the future? Well, Drew. Pretty low. I've seen Nate's new hour and I would say 2026. 2026. Yeah.

Thank you, Drew. Yeah. I've been to comedy off Broadway many times, Drew. You might've, I think you just weren't there and I'm sorry about that. But yeah, I've been there a bunch. It's a great, great place. Really great. Maybe one day we will. Yeah. He'll be back. We'll be back. Kyle Sarno. Wondering if you guys can discuss how and when each of you guys met and how you guys decided to do a podcast together.

I love how the chemistry on the pod is unlike any other I listen to. Well, that leads us into today's topic. Oh, which is friendship. How about that, Brian? Good job. We... It's the chemistry we're talking about. Yeah, exactly. We...

Started touching on it just briefly a couple weeks ago when Nick was here. Didn't really get into it. And little friendship wasn't poking fun at Nick, or was that intentional? It was a little bit, huh? I said to Tristan, I said, people are going to say that that was a shock. It was a little friendship with Nick Novick. Oh, that's what it said on the thing? That was the title of the episode. It was a special night, because you talked about it, and a little friendship. With Nick Novick.

Yeah. But yeah, I see what you're saying. Come on, Brian. Yeah. Come on. You're better than that. Yeah. So I think we've known each other the longest. I looked up probably 17, 18 years. I think it was that long. It feels like it.

maybe 16 or 17 years. I think I met you. You've lived a whole life to adulthood knowing Bates. Oh yeah. And I felt it, man. I felt it. It's just on there. It's just there. Cause I won't go away. He's going to be there for, I'll have Bates for the rest of my life. When did you start your, your, uh, your daily journal?

January 1st, 1995. Yeah. Okay. So you have... Did you have... I met a guy named Nate Bargetzi today? I don't know if I wrote that down, but I think I may have told this story before. A lot of complaints, probably. I mean, I've known you 11 years, at least. I met you 11 years ago. I think I'm in that journal a bunch, and I bet it's not good. I told my wife to burn it. Yeah. Something happens. But...

I mentioned that I knew the name Bargatze because of Ron Bargatze, your cousin who did Vanderbilt. So I knew the name and I'd heard of you, but then you came home, I think for Thanksgiving, maybe Christmas and,

And I was just at Zany's hanging out and you were on, it was like a showcase show and blew me away at how funny you were. You did the ninja joke. You did the, how video games are getting too realistic, Vince Young, all that stuff. And the monkey DNA. And it was just so funny. And I was like, golly, this guy's clean and doing stuff that, you know, I've never heard before. So, and I think we all went out that night to Bosco's. Remember that place? Yeah. Bosco's. What is that? Yeah.

It was there off West End. It's something else now, but I think it was called Bosco's. Me, you, Jesse Case, a few other guys went. And then, I mean, everybody, they think some great story, but we're both Vandy fans, clean comics. So whenever you'd come home to Nashville, we'd go to Mike's and stuff. Yeah, yeah. It's as simple as that. Yeah. And went on the road. You could be the most person I've done shows with. Does it feel like it? No, no, I'm being serious, though. Yeah. If...

You've been there. Yeah, you've been there the whole... I mean, I can't believe it's been that long. 18 years. That's crazy. Something like that. I mean, I used to go to New York and stay with you some. Yeah, for all the stuff people think that we're not friends. Yeah. We've been friends for a long time. Yeah. Aaron, otherwise. I don't know. When I met... Yeah. I mean, I met you when you would come through and do the open mics when you were in town, but never...

I mean, I started significantly younger than all of y'all. Significantly. That's true for me. Because we're talking about outsider insight.

I'm kidding. But yeah, I met all you guys just around. I don't remember when I met you. I was going to say, I don't remember the first time I met you, but I feel like the first... I remember at that... I remember you bumped me off your show. It was one of the first shows I ever got booked on. You bumped me off of it. Are you serious? Brian Bates and Friends of the 80s. Yeah. My brother was in town, and I was going to host for you.

What happened? I think too many people got added to the show. You sent me a very nice text. Classic. Yeah. You said the show got overcrowded. Just for time, I got to cut you from the show, but you're a very funny young comic. You're going to get plenty of opportunities, and I'll help you out however I can after that. And you've done nothing but that. But that was our first...

Wow. You don't remember that at all? I vaguely, because I think Lucy suggested you. Yeah. And I didn't know that there was something already going on there. I don't know if there was at the time. I think that was early. Yeah. But. I didn't mean it like that. I just meant, I think y'all were just starting to maybe date. Brian always had an eye for talent. Yeah.

Yeah, I'd like to know who you put on the show. Who crowded it up too much that Aaron couldn't be on it? I think I know. I think it was because I think you were on it. And Zany's, there was a guy coming through and Zany's. Well, that's probably what happened. Nate probably bumped you. Nate came into town. It wasn't Nate that bumped you. Nate's going, I got to do 40 on this show. There was a guy coming through and Zany's told me I had to put him, add him to the show. I think, I think. But what's the place over in Music Row?

Bobby's. Bobby's Adelar. That's the first place I remember. One of your first jokes that I remember, it's very funny, is you and your roommate ordered a pizza. The pizza delivery guy fell down the steps, right? Yeah, yeah. He had to call an ambulance. Yeah. And I think the joke was...

That pizza's getting cold. How long do you have to wait before you can eat that pizza? Well, that was my roommate. I ordered Papa John's, and then he was in the other room and ordered Domino's, and we didn't know. Oh, wow. So two pizza guys came to the house at the same time. Oh, that's kind of like your job. But yeah, kind of like. Your door bash. Oh, yeah. I'm quicker to get to some of the stuff Nate gets to. Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, you're just, I mean, that's old school. You're observant. I wish I did that.

because that would be that's very funny yeah that's way more embarrassing than two door dash it is yeah there wasn't even a conversation in the house like hey maybe we can just get

It was two dudes in a house set at 58 degrees. Once that pizza door opened, they go, whoo! They go, all right, now this makes sense. Y'all showed up in shorts and got cut off t-shirt.

It's cold in there, boys. He goes, yeah. Is it? Is it? Yeah. But wasn't there something about the lady fell down the steps or something? Yeah, one of the guys fell down the steps. This is all true. I don't remember how I ended up changing it to make it

Try to work it into a joke. But one of the guys tripped up the stairs and the other guy showed up. Like the Domino's guy showed up and the Papa John's guy's on the ground. And the Domino's guy just stepped over him and delivered the pizza and then left. And just left the Papa John's guy there. The Domino's stepped over the guy? He broke his ankle or twisted his ankle bad where he was on the ground.

And the Domino's guy stepped over him. The Domino's guy had to deliver some pizzas. Did they know they were going? Is it like an apartment? So they don't know that they're going to the same place? That might have been. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because they would probably think what idiot would order two different pizza places. Well, you may say what? If you may ever wonders about stories being true. I just think this is an example. That's.

That's a story if I... Like, if you told that story, you would live in a house and you and your roommate would do it. So you'd cut out that it's an apartment. Yes. You would cut out that those guys didn't know that they were going to the same place. Mm-hmm. That might seem dumb, and I'm not trying to talk down to anybody, but if anybody's a young comic or if anybody's ever curious about...

Are these stories true? That's a perfect example of where you would go. What really happened was they didn't know. They would never have known that each of them doing it. You know, it's an interesting thing. Also, I think my roommate ordered Jets pizza, but I just said Domino's just because it's a bit. Yeah, it's people know what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you would do to streamline everything to be like, yes, it's all true. But I didn't, you know.

And then you make up the part of, you know, them knowing it or them whatever or the other stuff. The context of them two together, you would have made that up. And then at the end you go, and then that Jets pizza delivery guy died. Yeah. And you go, well, you didn't even say Jets at the beginning. Yeah. And he goes, what's he talking about? Yeah. That's having a...

But Brian, yeah, you were a guy. You definitely helped me out a lot and still do, but you definitely helped me out very early on. So I appreciate that. By cutting you from the show. No, no, no. But I mean, I did my Brian Bates and Friends this past week. I got bumped from it. No, you chose not to do it. You got bumped by your family. Aaron goes to me and then finally, I was like, hey, are you in or out? He's like, oh, sorry, dude. Let me check. And he goes, I'm out. Yeah.

Yeah. I already got the shorts on. It's a whole thing. I ain't coming out. Uh,

I met Dusty at Bobby's. And actually, recently. At Bobby's? Bobby's Idle Hour. Bobby's Idle Hour. Oh, okay. Which was, yeah, at the time was the longest running open mic. I love that mic. In Tennessee. It was on Music Row every Monday night. I did it every Monday. I used to love that mic. And I actually found, I sent you a pretty embarrassing message first time I saw you at open mic.

Yeah, and then you sent me a very nice message back. You stink. No. Like a nice, you're so funny, and yeah. Yeah, just like a nice, I enjoyed your set. I thought you had good stuff. Yeah. And you sent a nice message back. I remember you said, I was so young. You sent me back a message that said, don't worry, the jokes will come.

All right. Because you said, you told me you have stage presence, but the jokes will, which is probably true, because I think I could talk into a microphone and be on stage, but I didn't have- It is true. The jokes come live. I remember seeing, I mean, you see, you go to these open mics and you see so many people that you're like, what are you even doing here? Sometimes I watch people and I go, are you even funny for your friends? No. What makes you think that you can make strangers laugh? Yeah.

And then you see people and you go, oh, this person's really good. You could really, you know, you're like not, you know, there yet, but you're really good. Yeah. You know? I appreciate that. Yeah. You always have a great, I mean, you do have a great voice that's,

Comes off as, you know, you want to listen to what you're saying. I sound like I know what I'm talking about. Yeah. Yeah. I appreciate it. Like the thing about comedy that I've seen over the years is like people will have these very successful jobs and then they'll start doing comedy. And then they're probably at their, in their day job more successful than everybody else at the open mic. But at the open mic, they're really bad at comedy.

I was about to list an example until you said that last part. Oh, yeah. So then they feel bad about themselves in these comedy rooms. You can see that it eats away at them. And I just think, you know, if you would just quit this hobby of comedy, you could just go on feeling good about yourself and your successful day job. I remember the first time. Do you know what I mean? Does that make sense? 100%. I remember the first time I got an applause break from a joke at Springwater.

And I didn't do this very often, but I recorded that set on my phone. And I listened. It is so embarrassing. I listened to that on a loop on the drive home. Like, I can't believe I got an applause break. Do you remember the joke? No. Well, yeah, I do. But I'll tell you what. It's not a good show. It's a clean podcast. No, it's nothing like that. It's just not on.

Yeah, it's embarrassing. I think, I'm still thinking about that show. They clap anything at Springwater. See, that's the thing. That was a brutal mic. I know. Springwater's the first time. The first day I moved to Nashville, I was like, I'm going to go to a mic, and I went to Springwater, and then you and Brian showed up. Really? Yeah. I was like, all right. That's what I'm talking about. This is a scene here. Yeah. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah.

Where was Springwater? It's still around. The Springwater Supper Club. It's right by the Parthenon. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Real smoky. Right next to McDonald's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. I think that show that you're talking about was when I recorded my album.

No, I don't think it was. I think that was your next time there. I'll go find the receipts later. But I didn't mean to come across like it was ever. You sent me a very nice message about it, and I was like, okay. And me and my brother came and watched the show. Did I do that show? Yeah, I did Easy Out. This was after Easy Out. Oh, I just didn't like you then. I can't believe he was doing Brian Bates and Friends that long.

I mean, I don't know if we called it that then. I think it was just Brian Bates. It was just a period. No friends. Yeah, yeah. It was like Brian Bates. It was just a periodic show. It wasn't monthly. It was just a periodic show. Oh, yeah. It was yearly. Yeah, yearly. Brian Bates. Brian Bates. Show for his friends. Yeah. Show for his friends.

Brian Bates and friends, but the friends are in the crowd. That's exactly right. A one-man show. Instead of and, it's for. It's for. Brian Bates for friends. And family. Brian Bates for friends and family. One guy who didn't know what he got into. Just wandered in off the street. Yeah. And then, Dusty, I met you. We were on a Keith Alberstadt show together. Yeah. And who else was on? Chad Ryden. Chad Ryden and...

TC Cope. Okay. Yeah. Oh, man. That's an old school Nashville lineup right there. Yeah. That's big time. Yeah. So it's like I think Nashville comedy and all comedy is small enough. Like you're going to bump into, you just run into people, right? You just see, you just meet comics around. This is how new I was at comedy then and how little I knew about comedy. I mean, I drove from Charleston to do that show.

I mean, just to show, I mean, but I was like, Keith told me, you know, he's like, I'm doing a show in Nashville at this date. If you want to come do the show. And I was like, yeah, I do. So I drove from Charleston, which is, I don't know, eight hours. And how did you know Keith? I met Keith in New York city. Okay. Okay. Through a mutual. And, uh, and, and so I met him and I went to see him at the cellar and Keith really helped me out with a lot of stuff. Gave me a lot of initial advice. Mm-hmm.

So Keith is great. Keith Halberstadt, really great. Really helped me a lot. We just saw him last week. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then as far as the podcast, five years ago this week is when the world shut down due to COVID. Wow. Yeah.

And then a few months later, you're like, I got to do something. So you started the podcast. Yeah, I decided I needed to start a podcast. I wanted it to remain, to stay funny. And then I called you. I talked to you about it. And you and Aaron. It was kind of just picking the people that were here.

And so it was like, you know, that could be clean and they're here. And I mean, really then nobody. Really narrowed it down pretty quick. It does. That's the thing people don't realize. Sifted, you go, oh, this is it. Yeah. And you go look for clean comedy. It's not easy. It is true. That could talk that I'm not worried is going to just accidentally curse me.

Or something like that. Yeah, it's really hard to find people that can be clean that sometimes super clean can turn out to be a little cheesy. And it's like, it is a fine line. And then people that are like, no, no, I can do clean. They go out and do some wild bit. And you're like, you thought that was clean? Yeah. You thought that was clean? Sometimes people will go like, what specific words? And I go, I kind of want you to just get it.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Just kind of get like, I mean, I could draw up like a list of stuff. Yeah. Like just kind of just don't. Yeah. Does that make any sense? Yeah. I want you to just get what you're not supposed to do. Yeah. That's tough. I've tried a bunch of different protein products over the years. Clearly. Meat, meat, meat. Yeah.

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Jay, when we were thinking about doing a podcast, me and Kathleen Madigan almost did it together. It would have been fun, though. It would have been very fun. And I think it just wasn't really, timing-wise, it just wasn't really working out. We were talking to Dorfman about it, and me and Kathleen talked about it. But she has a great podcast now. Yeah, she does. So it ended up working out for both of us to do.

you know, kind of go the ways that we went, but that's good. I mean, you do, you're definitely, you're different in a lot of ways. So I think you have different interests and different stuff you want to talk about. Yeah. I mean, it was at the time I would have been lucky to do a podcast with her. I mean, even still now, but yeah. What's some of the, all right. So I looked up some stuff about friendship. Um,

What did you Google? Friendship? Does it pop up automatically for you? When you go, what is? Does it go? Does it say what? When you type in what is to Google, does it automatically go friendship? Yeah.

Before you even had to say it. And then when you hit it and it goes, did you mean how to make friends? Yeah, like for Aaron, it knows what is NIL in college football? What is a redshirt freshman? NIL money. Like his is going to be corned beef. These are all, these make sense because Aaron. So when you Google your computer and you type what is, does it say friendship? Friendship.

a full room look like? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You could even Google an image of what a full room can be. On a friendship episode. I know. I'm sorry. That was, I was trying to be, just the first thing that came to mind. I would argue that Aaron already knows what all those are. Oh, I think he does. But it's, well,

What is, you know, but yeah. I was just trying to, sorry. That was awesome. So there's something called Dunbar's number. Oh. And this guy basically came up,

he's an anthropologist and he studied chimpanzees and he saw how many friends they could have. And then he took their brain size and compared to a human's brain size and says that we can, humans can comfortably maintain 150 stable relationships. He said that, I don't think so. That's the number of people you would not feel embarrassed about joining uninvited for a drink. If you happen to bump into them in a bar, 150, does that include family?

150 just relationships with people. So he breaks it down even more. He's got, there's five people that are your inner circle loved ones. For me, it'd be you three, my wife, and Ben Roethlisberger. Then there's 10. And Eleanor. Yeah, Dusty, you're out. It's Eleanor. Then it's 10 of your best friends.

Your solid go-to friends. Yeah. Wow. 50 just friends. I sent you a link to this. I'm cutting all these numbers in half, as you say them. 150 meaningful relationships. And that's...

Those are acquaintances that we could invite to a massive party or greet without hesitation if you ran into them at the airport. And then 500 acquaintances. That's just people you know. If you had a massive party, you could invite them. And then 1,500 people you could recognize. Like, just you know who they are. I think I would have more in all these. More? I can definitely recognize way more people. Than 1,500 people? Totally.

Think about everyone from my high school, ton of people from growing up. I don't know. I don't think so. And you think you can do more?

I don't... Fewer than some of these others, but I think people I recognize, yeah, more than 1,500. But I mean, is that... I don't know, man. That's a lot of people. 1,500 people that you can look at and be like... And know their name and know something about them? I'd like to know how many friends this anthropologist has. Zero, apparently. He's in a chair by himself. Yeah. He's hanging out with monkeys. Yeah. Zero. Because he's turned around. Yeah. Yeah.

I think because I got married at 48, it allowed me to maintain more friendships and new friends. That makes sense. But did they also have to be your friend? Yeah. That's true. You got to compare their list. And you go, that's funny. You say 5,900 and he says 30. You only appear on four. Well, I'm about to get to that too. But no, I think, I mean, most of my friends got married in their 20s and understandably,

You get married, you start having kids, you don't have time. You do kind of wall off from the world. You have to. Because you have to. You have to. I got married at 48, so that's why Nate stuck with me because I wouldn't leave. I got all the time in the world. Yeah, he was always available. Even when he didn't want me to be. Real what about Bob situation. What about Bates? Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah. That's a great movie. So, I mean, I think it's pretty, you know.

10...

Good friends. So, Dusty, you think these are all way too high? I think, I don't know. I mean, especially once you get way out there. You only have two and a half loved ones? Once you get out there with like a, I think the five loved ones could be a larger thing. Yeah. But once you get out to 500 acquaintances, like what does that even mean really? You got 500 people that you're like, ah. You kind of know like you're in the business. But these are, I feel like once you get to a number that large, it's like, these are just people. Yeah.

you know, the guy that books the Tonight Show. Yeah. Or the guy that, you know, I don't know him. He's a loved one. Yeah. Yeah. He is a loved one. Yeah. He's a loved one of you guys. I have no idea. Yeah. He's never heard of me. The guys that used to book the Montreal Comedy Festival. Again. They were the acquaintances. Yeah, acquaintances. Like, you know, can we name something we're all in? Yeah.

They could be meaningful contacts, actually. Like the guy that takes tickets at the basketball game. Carlos Groves. Yeah, he's a 15. I actually like this number. I think there could be more than loved ones. I think there's definitely more than five. How many people would you take a bullet for?

I take a bullet for a lot of people. Okay. Really? Bates? Yeah. You take a bullet for Bates? Yeah. Why are they trying to shoot him? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. What do we mean here? Your life should be... Technically, your life should be a sacrifice. So it should be for someone I don't even know. It should be protecting. You don't believe him, huh, Brian? Well, I just don't believe in that mantra. Yeah. What do you mean? I'm in it for myself. Yeah.

Get out of the way. What's the, what's the sake? Like, cause it's like some people it's like, you know, do they want you to like, if like, let's say my wife, someone, we're going to shoot my wife. Right. And then I jumped in front of it and took the bullet. And now my wife's like, oh, geez, now I got to, you are, you are making the money. And now I got to do all this on my own. Let me take the bullet. And he's got another bullet in the gun. Yeah.

I guess it's like if somebody goes, so somebody needs both your kidneys. Let's think about it like that. That's a good way. Like to survive. How many people would you do that for? I'd give no one both my kidneys.

Well, that means I'm going to die. That's the whole point of the... I don't think I'd give away one of my kidneys. I would try to figure it out. If your daughter needed a kidney and you were a match... I'd go, I don't know what's happened to your kidney. I mean... He goes, no one needs their kidneys. That's the government wants you to keep your kidneys. You don't need either one of them. China's stealing them. Yeah, he goes...

Trust me, you're better off without kidneys. They can't track you if you don't have a kidney. You know what I mean? Because they don't know where you're at when they do the kidney. That's how they keep track of everybody, these kidneys. Why do you think they won't let you get rid of both of them? Tell me that. Yeah, so if a person needed one kidney and they posted online, hey, I need a match, how many people do you think you might go get tested, see if you were a match, and actually do it? A hundred. A hundred?

That's a lot. This is what I would do. I would share that on Twitter.

on Facebook so that they could reach a bigger audience. I did my part. I spread the word a little bit. You're not going to get tested, though. Right? I would go give all y'all bone marrow. I would do that. I do think you need both kidneys. You can survive without one, but I do think you need both. You do need both. I think two is ideal, yeah. Yeah, and it's like, so when you get, like, I know someone who gave theirs up to their dad, and then, you know, a couple years later, their dad dies. And I'm like, now you live the rest of your life with just that one kidney. Maybe get it back. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I wonder if he's on his deathbed. He was an organ donor. He just grabbed it right back. He left in his will. Yeah. Because obviously my son is kidding about it. I'm an organ donor. Yeah, me too. You do that.

I took that off. You don't, cause you don't know what he's doing. Well, my, my friend that works at the hospital told me that if you have an organ donor on there and then you have a car accident or something and you're, you're unconscious, they're quicker to pull the, pull the plug on you because they're like, we need these organs. Yeah. And if you're not an organ donor, they're like, well, let's give him a go. Yeah. I read a story about a woman who, uh,

Wake him up and make him sign up to be an organ donor. Then you go back to sleep, and that's it. This grandmother, when she passed away, they donated her body to science, to a scientific organization, and they found out that scientific organization sold her body to the military, and they used that to test bombs. Oh, gosh. That's crazy. Yeah.

That's wild. And they were pretty upset about it. Yeah, I'd say so. Yeah, I mean, you can't just trust. Imagine you're in the military. You're like, Grandma? Yeah. T-minus not me, Mom. Stop it. Stop the clock. That's so funny. This guy also, Dunbar here, he did a lot. I bet you could ask for that, though. Ask for it.

Oh, yeah, get my body to the army. They all want to go to the bomb stuff. Yeah, it seems like you have to ask for it. I'll get mine to NASA. Shoot me up into space, see what happens to the body of radiation or something. Yeah. They go, what's this eclipse? We weren't expecting another one.

Why is it so cold?

The A.A. Ron eclipse happens once every 48 hours. And they have to go get you when they go get those. Every time I come around here. So then they got to go get you because you're just stuck in this cycle. They get a big fishing net and try to grab your bottom back. They got to move you over. They got to get them behind the sun. Get them behind it. Yeah.

Pushing. They're pushing you like a float. You're trying to grab a float. Satellites are hitting you.

Those astronauts are scheduled to come back tonight, I think. Oh, tonight? Yeah. SpaceX is going to get them, right? They're there already. I watched this weekend. Oh, I did see that. They were hugging each other. How many of them is it? Did you see the photo where they all did the dusty wave? No. I didn't do that intentionally. There was supposed to be two, and then there was like, last week, you guys were like, oh, there's more. There's more guys up there, but it's only two that's been stuck there.

They couldn't come back. Well, why did the... That doesn't matter. Some more went up, and if you can find the... I should have sent you the... You got to think that if you're up there, and you're just the two, and other people come, you're like, hey, guys, this has kind of been our space for a while. Oh, yeah, it'd be tough. Don't, don't... Yeah, don't come in here. Yeah, you're probably territorial about it. Mm-hmm. The internet is bad here. Yeah. But it happened. Let's go. All right.

Talk about them being friends. Yeah, exactly. That's friendship right there. That is friendship, yeah. They're going to have a bond forever. There's only so much you can talk about. I bet they got into it, dude.

Oh, there they are. There they are. They're all having a good time. Oh, this guy's always up there. This guy's always involved in that. That's the guy from here, Butch Wilmore. Oh, okay. You're thinking that's that guy, Mark Kelly. That's not Mark Kelly. Okay. All right. They're all up there? Yeah. That's the new crew members and then the people already there. I think the four in blue just arrived. Who's the two that have been stuck?

The guy that's not doing the dusty wave. I like that woman, right? It looks like her, yeah. In the back? Yeah. Who's not doing the dusty wave? Oh, the guy from Mount Junk. Oh, the Mount Junk guy's been up there the whole time. Yeah. He and the woman are the two that got stuck. Yeah. They put this woman, the woman in the back is the one who's been up there the whole time. She should be front and center. She should be front and center. That's ridiculous. I think she's humble. That is. It's probably in a prompt to...

That's why one guy got shorts on. Oh, the guy in this corner. The guy in the far right. He's always up there. He's got shorts on. Yeah, that's Aaron. Space. They go, hey, bud, you going to space? Yo, hey, pal. Put some jeans on. I don't know. I want to be comfortable. Dress it up a little bit. Golly. I don't believe this. Were you at home this morning?

Wearing cargo shorts up in space? We're taking a picture for the world. What's on his leg? Why is that not floating away? It's wrapped around his leg. Yeah, I can see it's wrapped. It's like a blood pressure. Yeah. This is a picture of people hanging upside down. You could do this at any... Who's the guy in the top right? He's always in these things.

I don't think you've seen any of these people before. The guy in the shorts, the guy in the top right, and the guy on the far left. They're in all of these. They're in every one of them. They're always in the space films. They're character actors. You're thinking of a different... I know who he's thinking of. I'm thinking of the guy you said. Mark Kelly. You're thinking of this dude. And he has a twin brother. Nah. They're both astronauts. Actually, maybe. He's a senator now. You know what? I am.

Yeah, you're thinking of the... And you probably have seen the brothers. Yeah, that guy's up there right now. He's in that picture. No, he's not. He's still wearing the red. Just under the coat. Yeah, look at that. That's a totally different game.

Why is he looking at a different camera, that guy down there? Where's he putting his hand? Because there's another camera right there. The three guys in the red look like they run a morning show. Yeah. Like they're up there from the buzz. Yeah. Well, that's great. It was pretty cool watching, though, because their space station is going 17,500 miles an hour. Yeah. And then the rocket is going the same speed, and it has to dock. Yeah, that's crazy. It's pretty crazy. And you saw all that?

I mean, I watched it. Yeah, NASA showed it live. It looked like they weren't even moving because they were going so... They were both going the same speed. Yeah. There you go. There she is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's cool. What if you get over floating? You know?

He's wearing an alien mask. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, he's got to come in with a show. Yeah. Where'd you get that? You had that up there the whole time, huh? Yeah. He just got there. He's like, I'm going up. I'm going to take the mask. I'm going to do the mask bet. And they go, please don't. No, I'm going to do the mask bet. Well, here's the moment where they show up. This will be fun. Look at that. Okay. Hey, they take pictures. All right. All right. Where you been? Oh, why you up there? Oh.

Oh, yeah. Look at the lady. Yeah. She's from the Boston area, so in the news this weekend, there's a school named after her. She could have got back a week earlier. She could have come to my show. Yeah. She'll be there for Aaron's show. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. First, what do you think she does the first time she comes back? It's got to be that. What would you do? Take a warm shower. They won't be able to walk for a while. I think you struggle to walk when you get back. Oh, yeah, especially when you've been up there that long. Yeah, when you've been up there way longer than you thought. So I think it's going to be a bit of a...

Period. I don't know how you don't have claustrophobia. Why are all these people hugging? I don't understand what's happening. Because they've been up here for eight months and they docked and now they're going to go back home. When you've been excited just to see a new person? Who's rescuing the people? The people in blue? The people in blue just showed up. The dark blue, yeah. They're staying. And who are the red guys?

I don't know. Cosmonauts. They look like Russians, don't they? I think they. No offense. Yeah. I think there are some cosmonauts there. And their space agency is called something like Romulus or something like that. Okay. Imagine Dillard's is like, those are our shorts. Yeah.

They look really clean for having been up there for that long. I would like to see them. You think she looks clean? I would like to see them looking. Well, they have ways to clean themselves. Yeah, but they only prepared for eight days. The woman with her hair straight up right there. I mean, your hair is gray. She looks like she's been up there for that long. She didn't have gray hair when she left. No, I bet she looked rough like that. She looked rough like that when she went. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, it's an exciting story. It's a fun one. Congratulations to those astronauts. Can't wait to see you back home. Yeah, welcome back, guys. Back home on planet Earth. That's a big hug. They're not back yet. Get on back here, guys. Yeah, they're coming. They're coming. Get on back here and then stop this space thing. Yeah, and then we'll have Butch on our podcast. I'd like to know what they accomplished.

That's the first question we can ask you. While they were up there. You're up there for eight days. We're on the International Space Station, right? But then you ended up getting a little extra time. So what'd you get done? They just got Aaron. What were you doing up there? Yeah. I think a lot of stuff. Yeah. I think pushing buttons and doing things, man. Spacewalks?

They conduct research, maintain the station, perform spacewalks, and then they have daily routines and personal activities. Okay. They collect data. Yeah, so nothing really. They conduct a wide variety of experiments in microgravity, including studies in astrobiology, astronomy, physical sciences, material science, space weather, meteorology, and human research. So they do a lot. I thought space didn't have weather.

No, they could look at the weather. Well, I'd like to know what they came up with. So they let you know. Because we can't see down here.

Well, they get a good view of it. They get to see it coming before it comes. They'll be like, yo, you should see what's out over there. They should have really been able to give us a heads up on some things. Well, I think they do. I don't know. It's like we know when a hurricane's coming. They should have been on Twitter, and we should have been able to go to their Twitter account and go, what's the weather like? Do you think they know about a hurricane before? I guess, right? They would know about it first. I think we monitor all that from satellites and stuff, yeah. Keep track of them that way. We know like two weeks ahead.

All right. The friendship paradox was first observed by sociologist Scott Field. And he said an individual's friends have more friends than that individual. And it's just a basic math equation. I mean, basically, if you have a lot of friends, it can be explained as a form of sampling bias in which people with more friends are more likely to be in the one's own friend group. In other words, one is less likely to be friends with someone who has very few friends. Does that make sense?

Yeah. I mean, I guess you're not a very nice person. Yeah. You're just not a person that has a lot of friends. You're not going to search out for more friends. But if you do have a lot of friends. Then you're a guy that is friends with a lot of people. With a lot of friends. Yeah. Yep. The cheerleader effect says that some people tend to look more attractive in a group than they do individually. That's true, Aaron. Right? Cheerleader effect also. He is a group. Yeah. Yeah.

I even think that was too far. Come on, Dusty. I've always, I think that's too far. I'll tell you what. It is too far and it's not true. That was cut. We should cut that out.

I'm sorry about that. You know what? Thank you. Dump Dusty. Is that the guy? Yeah. That guy's good. Did you see the Mario Lopez clip where they talked about his special? Yeah. And the woman said, he's cute. Yes, sir. And all these women wrote in this week saying she's right. They love him. People are starting to figure it out. Yeah, they are. They say you look like Brad Pitt. Do you?

I've gotten... You've gotten Brad Pitt? I've gotten probably over a thousand comments calling me Brad Pitt with some modification that hurts my feelings. Yeah.

I'm familiar with those kind of compliments. You look like Brad Pitt if, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Like I get like Walmart Billy Ray Cyrus. Yeah. Right. So I know what you mean. I get with the fat equivalent. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Brad Pitt ate Brad Pitt. Yeah. Not even that funny. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty good though. Yeah. Anyway, these. Yeah.

The scientists did, you know, research on this and said that individuals are one and a half to 2% more attractive in a group than when alone seen alone. Oh,

Because I guess just the idea that you have for other people like you. What do they think of these scientists? They ever go, hey, guys, let's do some cancer stuff. Like, what's the point of this? Like, why would you even? I don't. You want sociologists working on cancer, or do you want them doing stuff like that? So a sociologist is a scientist? Yeah, yeah. It's a social science. I don't know if they're not like.

I don't know if you call them scientists or not. But if you have money splitting for both, then you just go like, we're going to just keep, we should do more cancer stuff and stuff that's going to kill people versus a guy that just goes like, if you don't have a bunch of friends, I studied this for 40 years. If you got one friend and no other friends, you don't have friends. But if you're one, if a horse can jump over a donkey and you're like, what? And he spent 80 years doing that. 40.

$40 million of funding. Yeah. And you go, what? What do you do? He goes, a guy that's not a nice guy doesn't have friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How'd you study that? He goes, I wouldn't watch people. And a guy that's sitting alone in a corner is less attractive than a guy with a bunch of friends. I watched chimpanzees. Yeah. Well, you'll like this one, Nate. Researchers at Northampton University studied cows to see if they have best friends.

They pinned the cows up for 30 minutes, one with a preferred partner, a best friend, and once with a cow they did not know. And during that time, the heart rates of the cows were measured. And if they were with their best friend, they had lower heart rate and more stress if they were with a cow they didn't know. How do you even know if the cow knows or doesn't know the cow? Yeah.

Well, you watch them hang out with each other. You ask them. I think that it... To me, that is not friendship. That's familiarity, right? Where you're like, I'm used to this cow. That's probably true. It also probably is. I'm getting... My heart rate goes up. Because the first time you're with your friend is the first time you're being moved. You're not as nervous. Yeah, yeah. And then 30 minutes later, you get moved again. Yeah. You're just nervous about the situation. Right. I don't think there's awareness of like... I didn't they...

I mean, how on earth do you sit there and go, all right, well, them two are clearly buddies? I think if you see them hanging out. They're playing. Yeah, I know, but do cows play that much? I don't think cows really play. Cows do. I think they have a good time. Cows, but not cows. I think they have a good time. I've never seen a cow play. I don't think they have a good time.

Yeah, I don't think they... Calfs do play. I believe. I've never seen a cow play. Does Holly recognize other dogs in the neighborhood? Yeah, she gets excited about Felix's dog. Yeah, the dogs that she knows. What do you think? Are they friends? Or do you think that she's just being nice to the other dogs? I would think that they're... I don't think there's any...

I mean, I guess there is friendship, but it's like she's excited to see him to play with that dog. But I mean, I think a dog is different than a cow. Yeah. Like, I don't think you're watching cows and just being like, all right, clearly them to get along. And then you put them in a, you know, the hard part of this is a lot of the if you're on the heart rate, you're like, well, you're moving this cow around. So already it's going to be a little stressed out. Mm hmm.

All good points. Yeah. All right. So this is at the elephant sanctuary here in Tennessee, Holand Wall, Tennessee. That is Tara the elephant and Bella the dog. And they became best friends. And it's a very sweet story. They hung out with each other. Bella the dog got injured. Yeah. I won't say how, but I think we can maybe guess. Yeah.

And her same way I stubbed my toe. Yeah, exactly. And she was hurt for a while and they had to keep her indoors to heal. And the elephant hung out by the fence and,

by the house every day watching going when you get out of here I'm going to finish this job yeah and then they reunited so that's fun it's a very sweet story that is fun yeah that's nice yeah that's cool

Do you want to talk Aristotle before we get out of here, man? Aristotle? Sure. That was the class I took. The friendship. Oh, yeah. Friendship class. The history of friendship from Aristotle to Facebook. Oh, really? That was the name of the class. You should have been leading this. I forgot about that. What's the takeaway? I'll say the one thing Aristotle said about friendship, and Aristotle believed we're all a function of our time. He said a lot of things that have aged horribly. Okay. Basically, he said only men are capable of true friendship.

but he's what's aged but i think i think that one of the main things i remember three types of friendship there's friendship of utility where you're friends because you both use each other in some way this is like if you're friends with your i don't know mechanic or somebody you're friends with but there's a transaction between the two of you right

And then there's friendship of pleasure where you both derive some type of pleasure from the other person. And then there's what's called like perfect friendship or true friendship where you get nothing out of it other than just the friendship. And he basically believed you can only really truly have that with like two or three people. It's like impossible to have that depth, like to have that deep of a friendship with a ton of different people.

So he wrote a ton about this. I could see that because your lives kind of have to be the same. He said you have to, the phrase he used is, I always remember, you eat salt together. As in like if two people have gone through the same kind of traumatic experience, that can be the catalyst for it. It's the kind of stuff you read in college.

And I think we're only designed to live in smaller communities. This thing that's open to us now, I think, is hard for us. The fact that we can see what's happening in the news in another country instantly, I think, hurts us. We're not supposed to see all this traumatic stuff all the time.

I don't think so. Oh, yeah, that's a good point. I was going to say the idea of like even caring about what thousands and thousands of people think about you is so alien to how humans have lived forever until like 15 years ago, which is pretty crazy when you think about it. It's such a new thing.

But we're grateful you're here. Thanks for listening. Yeah, I mean, actors used to, up until 15 years ago, you might get some hate mail, but that was it. But now you post an advertisement on Facebook and people go, I don't like this guy. Yeah. Did I tell you a guy commented? I can't remember if we talked about On the Pocket, but I definitely told them.

I did an ad for a show and this guy just commented, pass. And so I go, let's see what's going on in this. Clicked on his profile, terminally ill. And he's posting updates about it. But he had to let me, you know, he's about to die and he's like,

He didn't have much time. Yeah. I ain't going to do this. Yeah. He goes, yeah, I know what I like. Yeah. I'm not going to waste a day on this earth. I showed up at a theater one time and they go, hey, we heard about you. You were commenting on Facebook and we got some security for the guy. I was like, what?

and they were like yeah some guy was like threatening to come down here or whatever and I found it and this guy was like yeah he said something like that pass or whatever and I was like yeah I was really wondering if you were you know I'm just kind of commenting just being fun I was like yeah I was really worried about whether you were going to make it to the show or not and then he comments how about if I just show up down there shut your smart mouth so now the theater's like on security watch for this guy

And I was like, geez, I didn't even say anything really. He's so mad. People are insane. How about I show up? Dusty goes, yeah, well, I'll see you there. Come on down. Tickets are still available. Yeah. Yeah. Get a ticket. Yeah. I would encourage that. I did Dusty Slay's top five country songs about friends. All right. Did you? Kind of. Some of these aren't country.

Yes. Just friends in Nashville.

I wish you told me you're going to do a top five. I want to do one, too. Well, you can do one next week. Okay. That's What Friends Are For. Dionne Warwick. Okay. We're doing Astronauts next week. So do your top five astronauts. Friends by Michael W. Smith. You know that song? Friends, Friends Forever. That's a hot one. You've Got a Friend. That's got to be up there. It's unbelievable. I know. Now we're going to get to country. Yeah, we're trying to do. Number three. Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks. Not really about friends, though, is it?

from the title. He's got the word. All right. All right. Number two, All My Rowdy Friends Have Settled Down by Hank Williams Jr. A great song. Yeah. That's an incredible song. Number one, All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight also by Hank Williams Jr. Both incredible songs. Yeah. All right. Incredible songs. You like those?

That was redeemed it. Okay. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, you've got a friend by James Taylor. That's more of a romantic. Oh, I thought I said that. It's a bit. Oh, you probably did. I wasn't listening to it. It's a bit country. James Taylor's a bit country. He's funky. And I like it. Yeah. I'm a James Taylor guy. Okay. Yeah, he's great. Yeah. He's a folk. All right. Thank you very much. We did it. That was good. All right. Friendship. How about it?

Friendship's good. I recommend it. Yeah. Yeah. All right. You guys are my friends. We all like hanging out even when we're not on the podcast. That is true. We all text. It is true. Yeah, we do text. We text. Yeah. Yeah. I would consider you all very close friends. I confide in you guys. I think you guys as well. We talk about stuff that friends would talk about that we wouldn't share with other people. Yeah. We're real friends. Yeah.

I remember somebody commented on a special. It goes, it got a real Nate Bargetzi style to it. And then somebody commented, well, yeah, they're close friends. And then she responded, well, I don't know about friends. They're more like work associates. I doubt they hang out. Yeah, like, who is this, Abigail? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right. Going out to see everybody. I'll be in Vegas this week. Where are you guys? April 5th, I'm in Columbia, Tennessee, getting the easier to drive tour back at Packard Playhouse. Then April 11th and 12th, Detroit House of Comedy. Nice, dude. It's a great club.

This weekend, Thursday night, Hartford. This is Aaron Weber talking. I'm in Hartford, Connecticut on Thursday at the Hartford Funny Bone. Come and see me Thursday. And then Friday, Saturday, Boston, Massachusetts. All weekend, Laugh Boston. Looks like the Saturday shows are going to sell out. All right. It's pretty close. So grab those tickets. Come see me this weekend. Hartford and Boston.

Okay, this weekend, I'm in Beaumont, Texas on Friday and San Antonio on Saturday. San Antonio's selling very well, but I've been told everyone's having a difficult time selling tickets in Beaumont.

I've heard that too. But. Sounds like a place I would go. Do come. It's going to be very fun. It's going to be a hot show. And then I've also requested to do a few clubs. I'm on a theater tour, but I've requested to do some clubs because I want the reps to write some new jokes. So the next weekend I'll be at the Virginia Beach Funny Bowl. Oh, how about that? So come check me out. Not doing Kazi's?

Not doing causes. I didn't reach out, though. I don't know if my agent reached out. I don't know. There might have been a bidding war and then Virginia Beach, Funny Bone won. All right. Well, from my friends and we consider you all friends. We're all friends here. We love you. Have a great week and see you next week. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform.

Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.

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