246: #246 America's Pastime ft Henry Cho
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. Hello folks and hey bear. I'm Nate Bargetti. Welcome to the podcast. I'm not on this podcast. I just wanted to pop on and let you guys know the theatrical release...

New movie we're going to shoot. We haven't started shooting yet. We're about to start. March 13, 2026, The Breadwinner. Very, very fun. Very exciting. This is a big win for Nate Land and the production, if you've been following along...

You know, if you're invested in the other stuff that we're trying to do, I think this will be a giant thing. I will be gone. You know, I think I've got to go to Europe. I'm gone for a good bit. I wasn't here for this one that you're about to watch. But it's, you know, everything's still rolling. I just wanted to let you know, say, you know, I'm coming back when I can come back. Just bear with me as a.

I get through all this schedule. We're shooting this down in Atlanta, like right outside Atlanta, the movie. So I'll be back and forth. And then I have my tour. And so I'm still doing a bunch of that. So it's going to be a crazy year, obviously. It's always been getting crazier, but we always think of you guys. And

Yeah, just keep plugging along with us if you don't mind. We'd love to have you. So enjoy the podcast. We have Henry Cho, Aaron Weber, Bates are here for this one. We'll have some people jump in and, you know, should be fun and funny as always. All right. I'll see you when I get back.

Hello, folks. And hey, Bear. Aaron Weber here alongside Brian Bates. All right. And filling in for Dusty Slay and Nate Bargetti. We needed somebody to fill two pairs of shoes.

Henry Cho is in the building, ladies and gentlemen. How you doing, Henry? I'm doing great. Thank you for being here. Of course. Always happy to fill in for either one or both. Or both. I mean, yeah, that's a tall task. It's a huge task. So Nate's been doing comedy for, I think, 22 years and Dusty about 15.

Yeah, they're not there. 39, dude. They still don't have you. Yeah. You're better than both of them combined. Go get somebody here locally and bring them in here. We needed 37 years of combined experience, and you topped that. We need an open mic to join them. Just to do it. Yeah. Balance it out. Thank you for being here, man. It's been a while since you've been on. I think it's your first time in the new studio. Oh, yeah. The only other time was early on. I mean...

You know, coming in here and y'all getting free stuff from cool places. I went, what's this? I mean, y'all were like, ask me to bring waters. Yeah. The first time I heard that. Snacks. That was crazy. Yeah, Henry, bring some fruit snacks by the studio. Yeah, hey, if you want something to drink, you better bring your own. That's it. But yeah, it was at Nate's house and we just hung out. We still ask you to bring stuff. We're in this house. That's true. Yeah, that's true.

Well, we've got a lot going on here at Nate Land, as you've alluded to. I want to plug a couple things before we get rolling here. The Nashville Comedy Festival is coming up in just, I think, next week. It starts in early April. Bunch of shows going on, including a big one for us here at Nate Land. Nate Land presents Good, Clean, Funny at the Ryman Auditorium.

That's April 8th. It's got an amazing lineup. Ryan Hamilton, Dustin Nickerson, Derek Stroop, Lace Larrabee, Mia Jackson, Paula Kazinsky. I'm hosting it. You're hosting, yeah. I'm the special host.

I don't know what special host means. Just the wording of that makes me. Well, yeah, they should have just said host because special people are going to just curtsy laugh the whole time. That's what's going to happen. Yeah, like I won a contest to host this. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You collected most box tops and you're in. Box tops. That's true.

So anyway, it's going to be at the Ryman Auditorium April 8th. Come on out. And then the other thing we want to plug, Nick Thune, who's done the podcast. You know him. He's part of the Nate Land family. He has a brand new half-hour special out from Nate Land called Born Young. Very funny. Go check it out on Nate Land Entertainment's YouTube. And then, as always, check out The Consumers every Tuesday. Don't make me come back there every Thursday. We are rocking and rolling here at Late Land, Nate Land, and today...

is no exception. Brian, let's get into it, man. What do you think? We're going to talk about our weekends? Let's talk about it, where we've been, where we're going. Let's get right into it. Well, I flew three different airlines this weekend, Aaron.

I started off on Southwest, went with Henry to Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh. Okay. Had a great set, feeling good about myself. I said, you know what? I'm going to fly Delta to my next gig. Just to treat yourself a little. Yeah, exactly. He did fly Delta. Yeah. Now, Henry, be honest. Do you think he did well enough to move up an airline? No. Not at all. I thought he was going to bust it, but no, we were...

I will tell you this. The great thing about us flying, we flew the same flight to Delta to Detroit. You sit next to each other on the plane? Of course. He walked past me. Are you kidding? Are you kidding? I was on 30 minutes. He was asleep before I got on. Yeah. I read like half a book and then he finally came straggling on. Group nine. Yeah. No, but then you went, tell them about the last one you took. Wow. Okay. I was good there. Then I bombed so bad that night I flew home on Spirit. And?

And it was so bad that they delayed his flight. Oh, yeah. We were already pulling away from the gate. And they said, Brian Bates is on. And he comes over and is like, we've got to make this issue. Had to go back to the gate, sit there for an hour. You were already on the move when they did that? Already pulling away from the gate. They pulled off from the gate. So they don't do the checklist until they're already going to the runway. It's spirit. They do it on the run. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So anyway, now all that's true, except he did great shows. His shows were great. His shows are great. Crowds were great. It's a lot of fun. I was, uh, you know, you did great, man. Thank you. Yep. Thank you. Don't sound so surprised. I am shocked. Yeah. It's funny how you're getting complimented to the point where it starts to feel like an insult. Yeah. Man, that was really good. Yeah. The way they say it with their eyes, like what? Yeah.

We'll get a lot of those, Henry, we've noticed because people that listen to the podcast regularly, they know Nate and Dusty are accomplished comedians. But then they'll go see me and Brian and they're like, oh, you actually did stand-up. And they're like, yeah. Yeah.

They go, we'll be honest. We came in thinking this would stink. Yeah. But it was all right. Yeah. You guys kind of know what you're doing. Yeah. Set the bar low. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. We're doing our thing out here. Hey, you know what? I love where you guys are going. And that's the whole plan. Right. I told you that early on. Yeah. You go out, you work, you write, you work, you just keep plugging away. Yeah.

You know, you end up headlining your own shows and they may not be packed arenas or theaters, but you're headlining, you're doing the time. And Brian and I were talking about it, you know, and I've talked to you about it too. You know, the hardest part for any of us who are clean is who goes up in front of you in a comedy club. And you and I have discussed this many, many times. Yeah, I get texts from you guys going, this guy in front of me. And that's the hardest part of being able to get to the point where you can

and demand how the show is going to run. And I told Brian, I said, you know, I would use this as that little leverage. I don't know how much you can push it, but, you know, hey, you know, I'm Nateland and, you know, we do this. And people come see me because of the show. Right. They're coming to see you because they see you here. Not because... No, totally. Not because... And they come in with an expectation of how the show is going to go because of that. Right, right. So there's a little pressure to like...

to deliver on that expectation. No, there is. And maybe you use this as a little more leverage to wherever you're going and say, hey, you know, can I bring somebody or whatever? But you'll get emails when Brian opens for you like, can't believe how crude that guy was, vulgar. Well, yeah. Well, he talks about, you know, pulling his groin. I mean, who does that? Come on. Do you have a pull in your groin bit? He did. Did I? You did the act out on stage too? He did. Yeah.

I can't remember what the joke was. It wasn't any good. That's why. I thought he was your top five, but it was really not. I'm kidding. Brian's hilarious, man. Geez. No, here's what I... So I was telling Amy... So I was texting my wife and I said, hey, I'm not going to be available for dinner because I'm going to go do Nateland with Brian and Aaron.

And she goes, the two guys you told to stop their day jobs and do stand-up. I said, yeah. She goes, you sure it's not a setup? I said, I don't know. They're going to attack you in the parking lot. Yeah, these cameras aren't rolling right now, Henry. Oh, good. Now we're here to tell you what we really want to tell you. Really want to say. Don't you think the business has changed, though, where it used to be, I assume, you probably had a different opener every weekend. And then a few years ago, I feel like it became more accepted. Headliners started bringing in.

Yeah. Openers. Well, here's the thing. The old stand-up world was comedy clubs. No one was doing theaters. Right. Yeah. I remember in the early 90s, I got approached about doing theaters and-

They would say, yeah, you know, like I'm in San Francisco. I would go to San Francisco 12 times a year. There were six comedy clubs. I'd go twice. I was up there just killing it. Yeah. Different clubs in the same city? Yeah, six different ones. That's the way it was. That's crazy. So I'd do them twice a year. You know, the whole Bay Area thing. And I love golf, as you know. So, you know, I was up there playing golf, you know, 12 times.

12 different trips a year. So then I get approached to do a theater, and they said, if you do this theater, you can't come back for two and a half, three years. And I'm like, what? No way. And then, you know, on a name drop here, Jamie Foxx got approached also, and he said, man, I think I'm going to try him. You ought to do him. And I said, man, I like coming up here six times a year. Yeah, yeah. You know? Really working it. So he did, and that was the thing. He couldn't come back for two years. Wow. But of course, he made it work. Yeah.

But in the beginning, you just showed up at a comedy club. And they already had the MC in the middle already booked. And my...

Personal rule was I was never going to bump somebody who already had the gig. Right. Because to me, that's just not the way to do it. And they've already mapped out their whole month. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. And it was Tuesday through Sunday at this point, right? Yes. Yeah, we worked a job. So we were doing nine shows. Yeah. Stuff like that. That's so crazy. We're lucky to get a five-show weekend now. Five's a big one. That's a max, right? You can do six or seven if you do, I don't know.

Sunday shows or whatever. But usually it's... If you're lucky to get a Thursday, at least I am, two shows Friday, two shows Saturday. And that's like a big weekend. Yeah. To hear these nine... I mean, there was something to Chicago Improv when they opened first up. It was so hot. We'd do two on Thursday, three Friday, three Saturday. And one Tuesday, Wednesday. And one Sunday. I mean, we were up there forever. But... So I'd show up and it would be whomever. Right. And I never wanted to handcuff anybody. So I'd just say...

Once I got exposure and people were coming to see me, I said, I think your show will go better if you work clean. I'm not saying you have to. I'm just saying I think it will help you. And so then I got to the point where I could just say, you know what? I'm bringing my own guys. Right. And that's what I did. Yeah.

You know, probably been doing that over 25 years, bringing who I want and all these guys come through. And I appreciate it. I mean, we, Brian and I have been those guys. So we're very thankful that it was worked out that way. No, it's three shows. I was so appreciative that I've really slowed my career down.

trajectory to stay as an opener yeah trust me you're not the only one mr fancy pants over here shooting up the ranks but i took it slow for you you are still the first one i go to the last two decades i'm like yep but you're not the only one i mean there's a lot of guys that still do that and and it's a process and everybody's different you know uh you know my openers go way back and uh you know a lot of them are like super famous movie stars guys who used to open for me and

And that's just the way it's supposed to be. And that's the way the, whatever you want to call it, the whole touring with me, how that machine's supposed to operate. Yeah, yeah. You know, if it's done correctly, you're gone. It's hard to explain for people that don't do stand-up, and it sounds like such a dumb complaint, but I hear three shows Friday, three shows Saturday. That sounds so exhausting to me. And I know if you watch stand-up, it's literally just a guy talking.

or it doesn't look that tiring. But I had to bring out the sweat towel this weekend on stage. Dude, two shows Friday. By the end of that second show, I was like, I'm working up here. Yeah. And I can't explain it. No, you dropped eight pounds. But, well, here's what I tell people who sit there, because my wife was the bitch. She was, all you do is go out there and talk for an hour. I said, okay, I'll tell you what. I said, once you stand, I said, you can pace 10 feet. I'll come back in an hour.

She's like, what? I go, just stand there. And she's like, what? I don't have time to do that. I go, well, just pretend because you won't last an hour. And sure enough, she's like, wow, okay. I go, now. Just the standing alone. That's just standing. You're not talking, breathing, talking.

thinking a million miles an hour. It's exhausting. Brian does a lot of act outs with the stool and stuff like that. He does. So that can be very physical. He always sits down a lot. You notice that? He's got all these bits now. He'll smoke a cigarette during his set in the clubs. Yeah. This weekend. He was like putting his shoes on. He was like, hey, don't y'all hate it when your shoes do this? And he sat down. It's crazy.

Well, I feel like you can identify with this, Aaron. The late show at our level is usually almost always going to be worse than the early show. So you have a great show. You feel great. You got up for it. Your adrenaline comes down. Then you got to go back out there again and go home. Everybody still hates late show Friday, no matter who you are. Late show Fridays have always been the worst.

Because people go to work, they go out, happy hour, whatever. They come straight to the club. They haven't been home since 6.30 in the morning. And we used to do 8 and 10. So I'm getting off stage at midnight on a Friday night. And these people are toast. They hate you at this point. So it was like you said, it was work. Yeah. I had a late show Friday this weekend in Chicago. And I got to the point of the set where I go, hey, if you want to say hi, I'll be...

I'll be outside the club. And this guy at the back just goes, nobody cares. I was like, Whoa, uh,

It was so mean. The rest of the crowd was like, whoa, buddy. Now we have to go out there. Yeah. I wasn't going to go, but now I have to go because. Yeah, exactly. I was like, man, that's wild. People always ask me about hecklers and they think hecklers is that where someone's trying to make you look bad. It's usually a drunk person that can't shut up or thinks they're contributing to the show. And trying to help. Trying to help. But you had a bonafide heckler.

heckler that's the first time in a while i've had just a guy with just malicious intent nobody cares i was like i don't know i've been talking about myself for a while now and it's been going okay yeah i think some people care a little bit a little bit uh where were you but it stung me dude uh chicago at zany's yeah yeah and i bet if you if i talked to that guy he'd be fine i don't know he just thought he'd yell it out yeah

Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Dang, dude. It's past our bedtimes anyway. Nobody cares, dude. But yeah, late shows are tough. I mean, I still get...

You know, I got to ask, matter of fact, I think I'm here. I'm at Zany's in October, and I'm just doing one show Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And they said, hey, you know, you always do well here. Why don't we add a show Saturday? And I said, no. And they're like, why not? I go, no. I'm home. I'm just going to do one, blow in, blow out. And, you know, I just don't do late show Fridays. I haven't done a late show Friday in forever. Just not –

But I don't do that many comic clubs. So the handful I do, I still don't do late show Friday. I do one show Friday. That's it. Yeah. That's awesome. To get to the point where you can. You can do that. Yeah.

You'd be like, I'll tell you how I'm doing the weekend. I'm like, I'll do whatever. I'll do a set at 9 a.m. in the kitchen if you want me to. No, hey, I did that. I know. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. You've put in the years and years of doing that. That was the thing. Working, I mean, my first two years doing stand-up, I worked 50 weeks a year. Yeah. I mean, it was just nonstop. It's crazy. I was out for 18 weeks. Christmas and Thanksgiving? Only two weeks off. Wow. Yeah.

Non-stop. And I would leave town. Like I said, you know, we're doing all week. So there's none of this back home Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. There's no doing this on a Monday. Are you kidding? I'm traveling.

Would you say you did 30 colleges in 30 days? I did 32 colleges in 30 days. I did two daytime shows. 1988. I did a NACA conference in DC and I booked 90 colleges. So explain how NACA worked. I know people know that we do shows at colleges, but NACA is like you set up a booth and audition, right? Yeah. So I was doing, so you have to go back. So I started standup in 86. Funny bone, comedy club chain.

You know, Jerry Kuback hired me, put me on the map, got me going immediately. So 87-ish, they started a little side deal and they were going after this college market. So they got me and Vic Henley, big comedian, just being New York, passed away a few years ago to go showcase. So I said, sure, I'll go showcase. And, you know, they're like, oh, you make it, you know, five, 10, don't worry about it.

And I went, I got 90. No one's ever heard of it. So I had 90. I'm trying to think of like a name, 90 college. Yeah, I know. So they said, uh, you want to do all these? And, uh,

You know, at this point, you know, a lot of my mentors and heroes were like, man, you got to move to LA. You got to move to LA. And I didn't want to move to LA just to be a road comic like a lot of guys I know did. And so I thought, you know what? I'm going to do these 90 colleges and just bank it. So when I go to LA, I'll be able to stay.

And that's what I did. And it worked out. I did 32 shows in 30 days. That's crazy. It was nuts. I mean, I was telling Brian, you know, for like eight consecutive nights, the bathroom was to the right when I got out of the bed. Yeah. And I slammed my face in the wall on the ninth night. Yeah.

Because they moved it on you. Yeah, it was like, ah. What percentage of those are good shows, would you say? Two. Two percent? Maybe two. That's stretching. Yeah. I mean, I was doing, so some of them were good. Some of them were actually set up, and there was an event.

But most of the time, man, I stood on an ottoman in the student center at Slippery Rock University. Where is that? SRU. Slippery Rock, Pennsylvania, I think. Slippery Rock University. That sounds like a beer.

No, that's rolling rock. They'd be a 16 seed if they were in the tournament. Butler County, Pennsylvania. Yeah, so Pennsylvania. But I'm on an ottoman, and students are walking by. And I'm 26 at the time. And I'm yelling at people, hey, I'm up here to do a show. You mind stopping for a second? I mean, it was brutal, man. You're just doing it in a hallway. I did probably half a dozen in the cafeterias, standing on the table. Ambushing them with a show. Oh, yeah. People are going through lines.

They got their trades going through line. And I'm firing jokes at them. Something like that's good to hear. Because sometimes I feel like a diva if I'm like, I don't know if the mic's a little weird. I get upset. But then you hear like the shows that a lot of these guys had to do. Oh, man. Are you kidding? You had a microphone? I mean, that's what we were saying. Come on. But yeah, so a very small percentage were great. Because they're not like college shows now where you go and it's set up and you're in an auditorium or whatever. I mean, they put you wherever because...

You know, the entertainment committee has a budget. So, you know, back then, you know, they'd spend their wad on Jimmy Buffett, and then they'd have a few hundred dollars left over. They're like, well, we're going to do this. Let's get that comedian we saw. And that was me. Right. Well, we're going to put him. I don't know. Find a place. You know, and you're just there. You're just there. Just put him in the courtyard between classes. I would take that. I'd be outside. I could actually do something. But, I mean, just, I mean, it was brutal, man. Some of them were just brutal. But, you know, got good.

Yeah, you have to have a baptism by fire. Yeah, I mean, yeah, you go do 45, 50 minutes to nothing. Well, I have, but it's not at the college. No, that's true. Well, you know what? I did that at the Funny Bone last time. That's right. I mean, I do that all the time. But I'm talking about no one there. There's actually people there, and you still got nothing. That's the difference. Yeah, exactly.

Not nothing. I've seen you get something. We're joking. These jokes wouldn't be funny if you were actually bad at comedy. No, we wouldn't have done this five years ago. Yeah, exactly.

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I want to say this, though. You have the best luck, I feel like, of being in a market where the baseball team is at home. I saw you went to a White Sox game this weekend. Opening day? Opening weekend. I didn't go there first. Nice. Now, the Cubs are out of town, but I've been to a game at Wrigley. But Adam, who works at the – I'm going to give a shout-out to Adam at the White Sox, who's a fan of the podcast. He hit me up, and he –

Took us out to the game. I had the best seats I've ever had. There you go. At a professional baseball game. Seats where a server comes to your chair, brings you whatever you want. I mean, we lived it up, dude. Watched the whole game. Got to see Mike Trout play in person. He's one of those guys that I want to see before he inevitably gets hurt this season or retires. I got to see him. He went 0 for 4, but...

You got to see him. I got to see him. I mean, I was that, I was that close to him, dude. So great weekend, dude. You're right. I am pretty lucky about that. I get jealous because we were in Pittsburgh and Detroit this week, both teams away. I mean, back in Detroit in two weeks, they're away. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. I think they're doing it on me.

That's the first thing I do now when I get booked at a place. I look at whatever sports teams are there. So you need to do it backwards like I do. Because I book my golf, and then I book my shows around it. Well, this is what I'm saying. Well, eventually, I will get to – I'm at the mercy of – Right, right, right. Okay, okay.

I'm in Phoenix in July. I'm in Alaska in January. I'm in the worst time of year to be somewhere, and that's where I am. Right, right. No, I've been there. I've been there. Trust me. Totally. That's what I'm saying. That's the goal is to go. Yeah, the goal is you look at their baseball schedules and you go, hey, I want to be in Philadelphia here. Book me in New York that weekend. That's it. Something like that. Yeah, that's exactly how you do it. That's the dream, man. Notre Dame's playing in North Carolina. Right. Book me again. That's it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's very fun.

You want to get into these comments? Let's get into it. Let's get into it. The comments, as always, you want to read them, Brian, or do you want me to? You do. I read them last week. Comments come, as always, from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast Reviews, and Brian Bates meet and greet at any of his shows. Nope, nope, nope. NateLan at NateBargatze.com. Or if you see him in public, say it to him. First comment comes from Carrie Noise. Carrie Noise.

I thought it said no, yes. No. N-O-Y-E-S. Yeah. Carrie, no, yes. It's confusing. I recently listened to the Nate Land episode featuring Henry Cho. I didn't realize until I Googled him that he's the man on Designing Women who shared his bed with the sugar bakers when they went to Japan to see their mama. So funny. Nothing funnier than a voice that doesn't match the visual. Wow. 1989. 1989.

This is a clean podcast, Henry. So I don't know what filth you were doing, but. Well, they put me in bed with them. What can I say? You know, and Delta took up a little more room than Dixie. So I'd been in LA about three months. I was going to say, this is 89 and you started stand up in 86. Yeah. So by 89, you're on a huge television show. Yeah. So I moved to LA in 89 with all my college friends.

show money. Yeah. And I don't know. One of the shows I did, I did, Pat Sajak used to have a show. I did that, did Arsenio. And then Linda Bloodworth, the producer of Design and Women, contacted and said, hey, I wrote a role for Henry. You want to do it? I went, sure. So I did it. And it worked out great. And everybody was great. And it was fun. And she just, she was amazing. Oh, there it is. Coming up right there. Yeah, we got it right here. Yeah.

You know what? Every time I see an airplane depicted on a TV show or a movie, I go, I've never seen a plane that spacious. Yeah. They got a lot of room. Yeah. It was a lot. That's in coach. Yeah. That's some great acting there, Henry. Well, the good news is that was my first. That is my first scene. So I knew my mark. Because here's what I didn't know. I've never acted in my life. All right. So we're doing...

They have marks on the stage for camera blocking. Well, for the live taping, they removed the marks and no one told me. Oh, wow. So the scene after this, I walk out and Delta and Dixie are standing there. And first, I have some line, but I just walked out and went, where'd my mark go? And the director goes, cut. And Delta's like, you really don't know? I said, I told y'all, never done it.

Wow. Yeah, it was cool. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, that's awesome. That's awesome. Carrie, no yes. Carrie, no yes. Carlos Villafana. That's a great name. Villafana. Just last week, my wife and I enjoyed a cruise vacation. The comedians that were part of the entertainment did PG shows early in the evening, and R-rated shows were performed later those same nights. During the PG shows, the comedians seemed to struggle in performing funny material.

You guys deliver hilarious material that is clean. Is it more challenging to perform clean material as opposed to stuff that is adult? It is 80% harder to do clean comedy. 80%. So I get interviewed this years ago, probably 10 years at least. And a woman interviewed me says, hey, I read that it's 80% harder to do clean comedy than any other comedy.

And I said, do you have the article in front of you? She goes, yeah, go read a little lower. She goes, oh, it says Henry Cho. And I made that up like 30 years ago. And she goes, well, Bob Newhart agrees with you. And I said, well, Bob's a smart man, but I just made that number up. So now it's fact, 80%. I was about to ask you how you came up with that number. 80%. I just...

I mean, I rolled that out 30 years ago. Yeah. And it somewhere got out there. And then this woman was telling me that she heard it was 80%. And I go, yeah, because I said that. That's funny. You were the primary source on that. It is harder. And what I don't understand on these cruises, because a lot of my –

A lot of my guys, like you guys, do some cruise ships and they're forced to do it. They said, hey, man, they want me to do a dirty show. You know, I go, forget that. Just do your show. Yeah, yeah. Just do your show. And they go, really? I go, yeah, man. You'll never notice. Yeah. It'll be funny. And they go, okay. Well, I was supposed to do a dirty show. No one cares. Trust me. Just do it. Mm-hmm.

But I don't know when this happened, when you got to do a dirty show on a cruise ship. I don't know when that happened. Yeah, I've heard. I mean, Nate said the same thing. They asked him to do that, and he just did his act for both shows. Yeah, right. If you're funny, nobody's going to complain. Who's going to complain? I want to hear some gross stuff. Yeah. Sorry about that. Next comment comes from Clazy Bly. Clazy Bly. Clazy Bly.

What's y'all's opinion on Craig Ferguson? I really enjoyed him, but he may have been like Conan ahead of his time. I don't like who he booked on his show. Yeah, I did it like eight, nine times. I don't like the booker. The booker was a joke. He's sitting right over there. Were you really? Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, Craig. So I can actually have some insight on this because Craig –

He was my executive producer on a show I sold to CBS back when he was actually on the show with CBS. Craig, was he ahead of his time? Maybe. Conan was. No one understood Conan. And Conan came out of nowhere. It was a big deal who was going to take over.

after the Tonight Show. And Conan was a writer for The Simpsons. He'd never done any of this. He was so different from everybody else, right? Right. My dad, to this day, never understood Conan. Every time I'd have Conan on, my dad would walk in and go, this guy's a nut.

He just wouldn't get it. Yeah, they didn't get it. They didn't get it. Conan was great. My parents, sorry to interrupt. No, go ahead. They grew up on Johnny Carson, so Letterman they never got. Just his style of humor. They're like, I don't get it. Right. People didn't. They didn't get Letterman. They didn't watch it. So then Conan did his thing, and then Craig was in line. I mean, he was on the Late Late Show. He was in line. It was a big pants production. He was in line to –

take over yeah and then when that didn't happen it was not not a good thing because he should have just stepped down an hour earlier and taken over uh that was the whole deal because he was craig was phenomenal he was so quick um i thought he did great uh does he do just straight stand up yeah he so he was a straight stand up uh and uh you know across the pond and then he came here

Was doing stand-up, and then he got on Drew Carey's sitcom as Drew Carey's boss, and it went from there. Oh, okay. So that's where Craig came in. Craig came from the stand-up world, so him getting a talk show, getting a late-late show wasn't that big a stretch. Right. Okay. And he was. He was so good. So, yes, Clay Z. Bly, he was ahead of his time. Yeah. Daniel Koning.

Could you win the, Oh, this is a good question. I'm glad Henry's here for this. Could you win the masters? If every other golfer has to tee off from the normal spot, but you got to start on the green and only had the puck.

You'd have to start from the furthest possible spot on the green from the pin, but you'd only have to putt. Could you win? I'd win by 15 shots. You would. Yes. Yes, exactly. This becomes something resembling a good question if you're talking about me or Brian. I don't know. I would say it becomes a good question if you shot like a 90. I think you and I, we're not going to.

Oh, I think the answer is no. Yeah. But I think it's way closer. I mean, Henry's going to... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to win easily. Yes. Yeah, but I think you guys could... Say you three-putt every hole, okay? I don't know. I mean... Oh, wait. At the Masters? Never mind. Say you five-putt every hole. I'm kidding. I mean, seriously. Yeah, no. Hey, trust me. Trust me. It's hard. I mean, I've been blessed enough to play there a few times, and it's really hard. And golf's hard, but...

I mean, I will tell you this. They can put balls during Augusta in a spot away from the flag that you could almost, you have to make a 15-footer coming back to two-putt.

Yeah. And that's if you just keep it on the green. Yeah, I would roll it off the green. I'd be in the sand. I'd only have my putter and I'd be trying to get out of the sand. Yeah. Well, you wouldn't be the only one. That's happened. First time I played it, one of my guys playing with, Penn was front left on number one and he was on the back rack corner. And he looked at me, I go, super fast.

fastest putt you've ever putted in your life. He had like, you know, 45 feet. Yeah. And he hit it and he goes, good. I go, that's in the bunker. He goes, what? And it rolled off the green into the bunker. He's like, yeah, tough. Now let me ask you this, Henry, as a, uh, I think this might be a better question. And I've had this debate with Brian, me and Brian playing golf. Brian plays with clubs. I just throw the ball instead of hitting it. I throw the golf ball.

So no clubs. So we did this at a Topgolf. I threw the ball as far as I could. I can throw a golf ball 100 yards or so. That's pretty good. Yeah. Now my arm's going to give out pretty quickly. That's what I was getting ready to say. I think if you play golf, if you do 18 holes just throwing, I bet you can't. What about a par three course? Oh, there you go. Me versus Brian. Brian's got any club he wants. I'm just throwing it. Now that would be interesting. That would be interesting.

I think you'd probably win that. I think you would too. I think I would do better throwing than...

Yeah. Then playing? Yes. I've played with you. Definitely. You played with both of us. I'm not going to get you. That's a no-brainer, hands down. No, I'm kidding. I'm talking about a par three for sure. Par three. No, that would be close. I think you guys should actually try to do that. I think we should do it one day. Yeah. Just to see. Because there's times where I play golf where I go, if I could throw it, I could just get it there. Yeah. If they didn't have rules –

If the whole sport was different. I would be really good at this game if I could change everything. Exactly. If this was baseball. But it's annoying that I have the control to just kind of, I just want to toss it up there. I know you look like basketball. Well, maybe if I'm off the green. Here's the thing. So when you're chipping, that should be your thought.

How would I just toss this up there? That should be your thought. That is it. When you're chipping. That's chipping. Only chipping. Henry did a thing playing golf where he watched me swing and he goes, why don't you do this? And I moved my foot like an inch or something and it changed everything. Just small little things like that. I don't think I've ever been more nervous than when I played golf with you the first time. Well, I was too, but he's remarkably patient. That's what I was about to say. Yeah.

Only in golf. Because that's the intimidating. Only in golf. Not in comedy. No, you better be funny faster. Yeah. You better do everything faster. Get in the car. Hey, I said 8.15. So, no, but I love golf and I love watching people play golf who want to play golf. And, you know, I play with everybody, you know? Yeah, yeah. I mean, trust me, as far as guys my age who do comedy in the golfing community,

Golf level, I'm pretty high up there, but I also play with the guys who do it for a living, and I know that I'm like y'all compared to them. It's just a standard. I mean, the gaps are so huge. But no, I love playing golf, but I don't want you to be nervous when we play.

I mean, well, I'm not anymore because the few times we play, you've always been so nice and patient. But the first time I was scared to death because I'm like already stink as a comedian. Now I'm going to get here and stink as a golfer. Yeah. And I'm the whole time I'm going and I told him to quit his job. Yeah. You didn't tell him to quit the pursue golf though. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. We were playing one time. I forgot where maybe down in Alabama and the cart path had a little, uh,

ridge rock yeah yeah thing and i was right there by it and somehow it was like a pinball machine i hit and it went yeah yeah that was crazy it was crazy no how far to go about five feet it didn't go far but it was really cool yeah it literally was like plinko yeah oh that's fun bouncing off it was great i mean i don't even know it'd be hard to do to even if you try yeah yeah it was that cool of a shot

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When waiting tables, I learned to never assume. I once took a table of middle schoolers that nobody wanted. They had never eaten out by themselves before, and each of them tipped me 50%. I'm sure their parents were ticked, but it worked out great for me. So we were talking about... He was saying how Asians are notoriously bad tippers, and I said, you can't just judge people, Aaron. No, it's not that we're bad tippers. We're just great at math. Yeah.

So we would never tip 50% because we know exactly how much to tip. Well, I learned Aaron doesn't like to round up. Oh, he's not a round-upper. Remember you told me that? Do you not remember you told me that? Okay, I do remember it now. Yeah, I don't like to do that. But I tip stupid at restaurants. And I learned that from you. I remember because we would go to Waffle House or IHOP. You remember we went to that –

Danny's, it was like during COVID and one employee was running the whole store. Everything. She was the host, the server, the cook. Everything. Everything. That was crazy. And she was like, it's going to be a minute. And you were like, it's okay. Take your time. Thank you for showing up. And then you took good care of her. And I think about that a lot. Yep. You got to tip them. Got to take care of them. Just like the lady we had.

This past weekend, she had her six-year-old daughter there working at a Dave & Buster's. We went there to watch ballgames after the show. It was midnight. And there's nothing she could do. And I told Aaron, I mean, I told Brian. Brian's like, I feel sorry for the girl. I said, no, I get that. I said, but this mom's trying. She's here working. It was crazy. And I tipped her very well. Yeah. Do you remember, Henry, once...

This probably happened more than once for you, but we were at some restaurant and our server was an Asian girl and she, and you asked for a water and she was like, she didn't bring you put ice in yours. Cause she assumed you wouldn't want ice in your drink. Right. Do you remember that? Yes, I do. What is that about? I'd never heard that before. Well, yeah. I mean, there's ice in this and it's killing me. We don't, we don't do ice. Did you know that?

I had never heard that before. It blew my mind. And did you have, have y'all noticed that I never drink while I'm eating? I don't drink until I'm done. Really? Yeah. No. Yeah. Cause it's factual. You're supposed to drink as little as possible while you're eating. So you're,

digestive system will work and the more you drink, the more you dilute. So it slows down the process. Okay. And so I don't, I don't drink till I'm finished. Now it's not like I was, we weren't allowed as children. It's not like my dad said, no, you know, whatever, but that just is how I do it. But it was a cultural thing that this girl understood that I guess, uh,

it's not common to have ice in your... No, no, no. Well, you should have known that she was respecting me when she washed my feet when I came out. laughter laughter

Had a waffle. Had a waffle. That'd be crazy. That'd be crazy. Oh, Mr. True. I just thought that was just like a cultural thing that I'd never heard of. It blew my mind. No, I've never noticed that, but you're the most hydrated man I've ever met. Yeah. You know what? I drink a lot. People always say, I drink almost two gallons a day. We were pulling out of the rental car place. The guy, he's like, hey, you got two bottles of water back there? Yeah.

It's like, uh, it was a seven 11 down the street. And, but I had some water in my water bottle that I have. So I just needed more. The number one thing I impart on the people that from the Henry Cho school of comedy is fill up your backpack from the green room before you go back to the hotel. Yeah. I teach everybody that I go, Hey, open up that backpack. Let's take all these waters. They already bought it. They bought it for us. Let's get it. That's it.

You know, that's it. You got to do it. And I do. I take the Red Bulls and everything. I fill up. I saw John Witherspoon here at Zaney's take a bottle of M&M's and just poured it into his bag before we went out to the hotel.

Just took the whole thing. Just loose ones in there? Yeah. That's awesome. Well, he's old school. Yeah. We didn't have backpacks. It was like a briefcase. I mean, we used to, I remember my jean jacket, you know, I wear a lot of jean jackets. I remember having stuff in my jean jackets like that. Yeah. It had like all these candies out there and some peanuts. I remember putting peanuts, just dumping a bowl of peanuts. Filling up. In my inside. People go, what are you doing? I go, dude, I, you know, I don't, I got to have food later. Are you kidding? Yeah.

but I've left Henry shows with cases of water in the back of the car. Yeah. Why not? Yeah. They already got it. They got it. Take it. It's there. Take it. You driving? Yeah. Take all that. We got a flight in six hours. I'm like, I'm going to be up all night just down in this water. Yeah. That's the crazy thing. Now do give the rental car guys all these waters. I'll tell them, I'll say, I got like seven waters. Yeah. It's all yours. Yeah. But you know, you're not the only one. Cause that's, you know, Ron Hortman, who you guys know, he was with me in,

I came back to the green room. We're getting relieved, man. He's just stuffing his bag. And there he goes, learning from Mr. Cho. There he goes. That's right. That's it. Todd Junker. Next comment. Todd Junker. Great name. The Junker family. Oh, yeah.

You know, Mr. Mrs. Junker as a 23 year veteran PE teacher. I mean, a PE teacher name. He had no choice. Mr. Junker. You have to be a PE teacher. I can tell you four square is alive and well in my gym. I teach kindergarten through eighth grade and the middle schoolers are the ones who play the most.

You got some heat on this. I stand corrected. It just feels like such an old school game. You know, I wasn't familiar with it. I somehow had not made it to Lebanon, but I learned it. Well, yeah, because there's not four people there. You can't have a triangle. It doesn't work. But I learned this last year on tour from Nate's daughter, Aaron. Really? Harper. Was playing four square? Yeah. Well, it's a version of spike ball.

You know what spike ball is? Oh, sure. Okay. It's a version. I'm sorry. Spike ball is a version of four square. I don't think. I mean, we might have had this spray painted somewhere on the asphalt at my school, but I don't ever remember playing a game of four square. Really? We used to play it all the time. You know what? Kickball, dodgeball. Yeah. We'd play four square when something happened.

If it rained and you couldn't play somewhere else and we had to stay on a concrete or whatever. Right, right. And then, you know, when we got older in middle school, we played four square because the girls were playing. Okay. Yeah, that's why. But it's like a, you know, it's like a two-step pickleball with your hand. That's what it is. Okay.

That's a good way. So I think it's good. You know, that picture, can you see? I don't know about these adults. Can people see these? Yeah, those are grownups playing. So I think that's what's happening. If you can't play pickleball, you're going back to this. Because you only got to take like two steps. Right. Okay. We were big. You ever play wall ball?

Yeah, so that's your generation. Right. Your generation, big wall ball guys. Yeah, tennis balls against the wall. Yeah. And then you tag each other with the ball. Right. And then if you get three outs, you had to spray an eagle on the wall. Yeah. And they'd throw it at you. And people would throw it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we would get hurt playing it. Yeah, we played it once on the road. Oh, we did. That's right. The night before Bridgestone Arena show. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And after a while, we're like, maybe we shouldn't be throwing balls at Nate's head. Yeah, it goes out there with a big shine. Yeah, exactly. I was playing. What were you playing? Yeah, yeah. So I stand corrected. I'm sorry about that. I was really trashing. Four square? Dusty said he played a lot of –

Four Square growing up, and I asked if he went to school in the 30s because it felt like such an old game. It is an old game. I mean, I played it, and I'm older than Dusty. But things come back. Things come in waves. They do, and it's alive and well wherever this guy Junker teaches because I haven't seen it. Mr. Junker. Coach Junker. Coach Junker. Coach Junker. Next comment comes from Lindsey Williams. I was raised by a single mom who was a waitress at the Stardome Comedy Club.

I remember getting to meet lots of comics when I was a kid, including Sinbad, Pauly Shore, Dave Couillet. Back in 93, Birmingham had a historical blizzard with over 12 inches of snow. During that storm, the comedy club caught fire. Carrot Top was supposed to be performing that weekend, and it was a really big deal because his box of props was burned up in the fire. My mom has since passed, but I always remember comedy being something that kept her happy.

even though times were tough. Oh, that's nice. So the Birmingham Comedy Club, that's the only club I've worked every year for 39 years. Wow. And it used to be down the road. Now it's a big stardome club. I've had you guys there. And the night that it burned, Scott Thompson, who I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't say his real name. I think people, I think it's public record. Okay, that's Kerry Thompson. So Scott and I go way, way, way, way back.

And as a stand-up comedian, Scott got a lot of flack for being a prop guy. People made fun of him, didn't really appreciate his act, blah, blah, blah. Was it more common back then to have props? Because I would say I don't know anybody like... It's never common. It's never been common. It's never common. But puppets used to be more common, that kind of stuff, right? Ventriloquists. Ventriloquists. Unfortunately, yes.

But even then, he took flack for it. Yeah, as they should. So he took a lot of flack. So his act burns. So Scott calls me and goes, well, you're my friend, so I can tell you this, but man, am I going to hear it? I go, what? He goes, I'm supposed to do the Tonight Show on Tuesday, but I can't because my act burned. Yeah.

He goes, how many comedians can say their act burned? And I said, a real comedian would never say that. That's hilarious. Yeah.

Scott Thompson. Oh. Yeah. I remember, I know when that happened. I know exactly what she's talking about. Wow. It's great. And came the Stardome after it reopened after the fire. Yeah, yeah. So insurance, blah, blah, and he opened the Stardome. So Sinbad, I was, he and I were doing a benefit. Gosh, probably he was healthy, 100% healthy. So five, six years ago. And we were doing a water initiative benefit and we were sitting there and somebody goes, what's the worst thing

a place you had to stay and eat. And I said, Birmingham Original Comedy Club. He goes, the hotel up on the hill? And I go, yeah, and the Waffle House at the bottom? He goes, yeah, that's it. Wow. And we both just bam. Yeah.

They got a nice hotel there now. Oh, it's awesome. Yeah, but back in the day, we were just glad to be in a hotel. We're having a condo, baby. Josh Green, have you guys ever noticed that sometimes Aaron will be defending a position or questioning an argument and will say, dude, at the end of every sentence? I am not hating on him. I love it. I've caught myself listening for it and get so excited every time he says it.

Dude. Dude, I haven't noticed that. Well, I haven't either, unless you're inventing a new drink game or something.

So, dude. So, if you're defending a position or a question, you'll say, dude, at the end. Dude, come on. You know that. Oh, okay. Yeah, I will do that. Yeah, yeah. I will do that. I can see you say it at the beginning. Right. But he says at the end. Come on, dude. Oh, okay. Gotcha. Maybe, maybe. I can see it. Well, now I'll be thinking about it. Thank you, Josh. Yeah. Now it's stuck in your head. For pointing that out. Yeah. I'll be thinking about that. This is like the guy pointed out how Dusty says all the –

The words. The T on the end of the D. He adds T's on the end of words, yeah. Oh, yeah. Rebecca K. Clementson. Clementson.

While I don't have any desire to be a comedian, I am finding that I love to laugh and make other people smile and laugh. Is there a way to become more funny just as a regular person in real life? I know you guys are pretty gifted as comedians, and most of your craft is putting together a clean, cohesive show on stage. Is there something that you've done or did to develop being comedic in daily life? I'll take this one, boys. Just kidding.

I was going to say, did Brian write that? Well, I was going to say Rebecca. Rebecca.

I feel your pain. Let me know. I was going to be mean and say, well, you're a woman, so you've got a little bit of a problem. But before I could even slam her, you've got to slam me. Well, that's why you're here. You've got to get ahead of it. Get ahead of it. That's right. That's right. Rebecca. No, I don't think there's anything that we've done to develop in a daily life.

So here's my take on this. Comedians are around 50-50. 50% of the guys are always on, never turn it off. The other 50 just kind of do comedy. It's our job. So we may notice funny things and we'll keep it to ourselves because we're going to work on it and do it later. Mm-hmm.

I have friends that when we go eat, they sit down and they're doing bits to the waitress, you know? And it's fine. You kind of want to go shut up, but it's fine because that's how they are. And they're just kind of trying to do it anywhere they can. So Rebecca, Rebecca K. Clementson.

Uh, man, Dusty would have had a hard time with that. The great thing is that you like to be funny and you like to make people laugh. Yeah. And the other great thing is that you're not going to try this. I'm kidding, Rebecca. Of course. Of course. Yeah. Well, just, yeah. Become obsessed with it. Watch a lot of comedy. There's a lot of great comedy. You tell the story when you first went and tried out.

For the first time at the funny bone, right? Yeah. Your friend said, you're not funny. Right. They did. So they were wrong. I told my buddies, I was going to try to stand up. They're like, you're not funny. I go, no, but I think I can do it. They go, well, there is that. Yeah. Confidence. Yeah. I think I can figure it out. Jesse Rothacker, longtime friend of the pod with all your years of performing. If any of you totally blown it and completely missed the show time.

Dusty was just saying how he almost missed one or his opener almost missed a show in Chattanooga because he didn't realize they were in Eastern time. How the time zone will get you. We talked about that. I've never missed a show ever. 39 years. That's crazy. Due to blowing it. I've missed two in my career.

One was a snowstorm in Dallas. Okay. Missed a flight. We'll allow that one. That one. Snowstorm in the desert. And the other one, I got sick and I couldn't do anything about it. Yeah. Brian missed a show with me one time. It's the only time I've ever missed one. Yep. So he was still working. Yep. Was this in Atlanta? Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's heard the story. Like, how would you know, Aaron? Well, when I started working with Henry, this was given as a cautionary tale. Yeah. I played a video. Yeah. Yeah.

Watch this before you agree to showing up. Yeah. No, yeah. Brian got caught in traffic because he was shocked there was traffic in Atlanta. Yeah. On a Friday night. Didn't he call you and say, can I do time after you on the show? No, no, no. It wasn't after me. I'm just kidding. No, no. It was Brian, Ron Hortman, and myself. Yeah, yeah. And so he kept calling.

And now he knows that, you know, before a show, the last thing you want is your openers calling you, trying to figure out if you're getting there. So he called and said, hey, man, there was a wreck in Chattanooga, blah, blah. I said, yeah, that's okay. He goes, I don't know what, I'm not sure if I'll make it. I said, that's fine. Ron's here. You know, no big deal.

And then he calls again and goes, there's a wreck in Atlanta. I don't think I'm going to make it. We were doing two shows that night, Lawrenceville. And he said, I'm not going to make it. He goes, is there any way Ron can go on first? And I said, no, because I hired you to go on first and Ron to go next. So we'll just do a two-man show if you don't get here. And he goes, well, what do I do? I said, well, you can help me.

Ron, sell merch and then do the late show. You can clean up afterwards. Don't forget to take waters on your way home. Yeah.

Sweep up. So he did. He showed up while Ron was on stage. Yeah. And I said, just do the second show. Right. And that's what we did. That's right. That makes sense. You already got the flow. You already got it going. It's just the way the show was booked. Yeah. Like you said, I still had a day job. Yeah. I worked a half a day, took off.

Half a day vacation at noon, hit the road. Which was 1 o'clock Atlanta time. That's right. Right. Chattanooga was a wreck. Had to go around the city. Chattanooga, sneaky, horrible traffic. It has been. It doesn't get talked about, but it's a nightmare. It's so bad. And you don't think about it because you're going to hit Atlanta, which is worse. But Chattanooga's terrible. Yeah, you have like two windows to get through Chattanooga, and they're both early a.m. Uh-huh.

That's it. If it's daylight, I don't know what it is. I always make fun of when I'm there. It's that one curb that goes uphill. Yes. And I go, can't y'all just turn and accelerate simultaneously? And they can't. No, they can't. It helps if you have a truck driver who knows who you are and can clear traffic for you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I almost missed the show. This was awesome. See, that's the difference between him and me. Yeah.

He has people helping him out. I almost missed his show. I was doing the comedy catch in Chattanooga. And Jake Gulledge, brilliant entertainer. This was the first time he's ever working with me. Yeah. So he's never done a show. And he was a worship leader, but he had this whole thing he did.

And his whole thing was, if Henry doesn't get here, I can only do like 20 or 25 minutes. The only thing I need to know to do after this is like have an invitation. Right. And bring people down front. Yeah, yeah. To convert them. So all of a sudden, 24 just past Mont Eagle stops. So everybody stopped. I get out. I go up to a trucker and I say, hey, man, you know what's going on? He said, yeah, truck flipped.

both shoulders, everything. We're going to be here a long time. He goes, don't you have a show tonight? I said, yeah, in Chattanooga. So I get out and start walking. People are like going, hey man, aren't you in Chattanooga tonight? I said, yeah, I'm trying to get there. So I'm walking up and down and I look and luckily it hadn't gotten to the point of 24 where it's like mountainous. There was actually a median that I thought I could maneuver. And I was in my old truck

My old Tundra 2001. Great truck. Anyway, I went up to like 20 cars because they're going, what can you do? I said, I need these 20 cars to go as far right as you can. I'm going to go along the left shoulder guardrail and whip a Yui and try to get up and go the other way and get there. And so I put in four-wheel drive and I made it. And when I got to the top, hundreds of cars were honking their horn. People were screaming. Yeah.

And so I made it. So I called Mike Alfano on the club and I said, I made it. I'm going to cut through Jasper and get there. He goes, okay. And I got there when Jake had about five minutes left on stage. Wow. Yeah. And y'all never met in person, had you? Never met in person. Wow. And he was sweating bullets. Yeah. Yeah.

So if you would have been even a little bit later. Yeah, if I'd have spun out for a few minutes, I'd have been dead. But it was iffy. But I was doing it if I could. Wow. Yeah, that's awesome. That's awesome. Kirk White. Kirk White. Recently, my son and my father-in-law were playing in a three-man scramble golf tournament when we noticed my father-in-law putting chaps. I was like putting. Putting.

putting chapstick very casually on the face of his driver to reduce spin and cheat in a church tournament. We thought maybe him hearing it here that he, Mike, is a cheater would be easier than me calling him out. That's what you're going to be known for. People are going to start sending all these, can you tell my wife that I don't like? That is so great. I didn't even know chapstick on the face of a driver.

To reduce spin. Aren't you trying to increase spin? No. But here's the thing. Okay. If you're putting chapstick on your driver. Yeah. I'm not afraid of you. That's fair. As he puts chapstick on. So.

I thought spin rate was... No, it depends. So your irons, you'd like a lot of spin because then it would go higher. Yeah. So it depends. If you want to launch your... If you have to launch it over trees, you want a lot of spin so it'll catch the air and go higher. You wipe the chapstick off. You wipe it off. And then you put Vaseline all over your ball. So...

To hit a driver and for it to carry further and not just kind of balloon on you, you want less spin. There's optimum spin. All the pros have their numbers and lofts and stuff like that. Did you see – this is slightly related. Did you see the bats that the Yankees used? We're going to talk about it. Oh, yeah. Okay, I want to get into that. All right.

Oh, Brian, you know what time it is? Spring is almost here. Are you excited? I am excited. It is here. It is here. Yeah. It's time to shake off those heavy layers, bust out the old beautiful legs. I mean, I wait all year for this, dude. And people wait on me, dude. They go, I wish you'd stop wearing jeans. I want to see those thighs.

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I have the original stretch shorts. They fit me great. 5.5 inch length. It's a little shorter than you'd think I'd be comfortable with. But once you wear them and you feel the quality, it's a good look, dude. The days of the long, baggy, below-the-knee shorts are over, dude. I've noticed that even in basketball. In the NBA. They've gone back a little bit. And I get all my fashion from the NBA. Yeah.

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Yeah. Next comment comes from Amy Mitchell. It's the last comment. I live in Houston, but made a last minute trip to Fairbanks, Alaska to visit my best friend. We were sitting at the Midnight Sun game.

Oh, yeah. The Midnight Sun game. When my husband texted to let me know, you talked about it on the podcast. Interesting tidbit. The Midnight Sun has been going on for over 115 years, and Barry Bonds played in this game in 1980. It cut off. It cut off in the 1980s. I think it was 83. 83. That's so funny. Yeah.

The Midnight Sun game, that's the game they play, baseball game at midnight. Yes. Yeah, in Fairbanks. Yeah, in Fairbanks the last year. Yeah, I looked it up. It's June 20th this year. I guess it's probably around that time every year. And daylight. Oh, it's awesome. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The old gig in Anchorage, I told you all this. We used to do it because she'll be over at 10 o'clock, and we'd go out and play 36 holes. Wow. The golf course is still open 24-7 for like three weeks. That's wild. Yeah, it was awesome. We'd play nonstop.

You just play all night long. All night long. And I mean, I always took aluminum foil, so I'd be like Elvis and black out my room because it's daylight. It's crazy. Yeah. Crazy. But yeah, the baseball game would be fun. There you go. You should make that happen. Yeah, I'd love to. On your tour. Yeah, yeah. Book me a show in Fairbanks. Yeah. Yeah. In June. In June. Well, that's a good segue. Major League Baseball season started last week, so...

We're all big baseball fans, so we can talk about some baseball this week. So you, how many stadiums have you been to now, Aaron? I've been, I think I've got like 10 left that I have to go to. Wow. So I'm slowly, slowly making progress. I've been to like the three, there's only like three historical stadiums left, I think. Mm-hmm.

It's Fenway in Boston, Wrigley Field in Chicago, Dodger Stadium in LA. I haven't been to Dodger Stadium yet, but I've been to Fenway. You did the other two. I did the other two. Oh, that's huge. So I'm working through them. That's awesome. So there's 30 total.

And there might be more soon. Who knows? We might have some expansion teams. Yeah, we may have one down the road. Yeah. And I just missed the Oakland Coliseum I'll never get to go to. And I missed that one. You know, that's a crazy thing because I used to go to games all the time also. And there was a time I'd done them all. But most of those stadiums are non-existent now. Yeah, some of them. So if I had to –

People ask me, hey, have you ever been to – no, haven't been to there. Yeah. So, I mean, I've never done the new ones. Like the old Yankee Stadium. Yeah, I did that, but I've never been to the new ones. We were in the car recently, and he was telling me how the Dodgers always ask him to throw out the first pitch. First pitch, he would never do it, never do it. And I said, well, you know, Aaron and I threw out the first pitch at the Sounds game. And he's like, well, that's what you guys should be doing. Yeah.

That's true. That would be good for y'all. Well, I wanted, I was thinking, because I was at the White Sox game, I was like, man, they should let me throw out the first pitch this weekend. And then it was Derrick Rose threw out the first pitch in Chicago. So I was like, well, yeah. Yeah, okay. You can't have two big stars back to back. No, no. It's overkill. But it's a great, I feel like baseball is such a great thing for comics because these games are during the day.

And it's, you just can't find no other sports playing a game at like Friday or Saturday at 1 PM. No, no. So it's just great way to kill a day. Just sit and hang out. There's a lot, a lot of comedians, even, you know, back, back in the day, just always do baseball games. You know, I always play golf, but, uh, I would occasionally, you know, I'd take a day on the weekend because we're there all week. Yeah, exactly. So, I mean, you know, we'd go to a lot of baseball. Was it Oakland where your buddies play that joke?

Where it was an empty stadium? That was a football game. Football, okay. That was a football game where the Rams Raiders were playing and there was no one in the upper deck. There were probably literally 4,000 people at this game. And so we're all at this game and there's one guy in the big top section of the upper deck sitting all by himself. And my buddy looks over at me and goes, hey, you see that guy up there by himself? I said, yeah, I'm going to go tell him he's in my seat. Okay.

And he did. It took him the whole half a third quarter to get up there. To walk all the way around. And he waved to us. We're watching. He goes down, shows the guy his ticket, and the guy just starts laughing. Yeah. That's so funny. That's awesome. That's real commitment to a joke, too. Yeah, he didn't care about sports. He was just there to hang. He was just there to hang. He didn't know any of it. Yeah. He's not worried about missing the game. No, he didn't care. He didn't know who he was playing. This is the L.A. Was this L.A. Rams? L.A. Rams. Yep. Oakland Raiders. Oh, they were Oakland at this point. They were Oakland. Okay. Yep.

So yeah, this torpedo bat, I just learned about that. I thought it was a joke at first. The Yankees new bat? Yeah. But it's legit and it's legal, at least for now. Yeah. So this was the big news, I think, for baseball over the weekend is we've been playing baseball for hundreds of years. And as far as I know, nobody's thought until now to reshape the bat.

So the Yankees played this weekend with, they're being called torpedo bats, where they've moved the thickest part of the bat to the middle. And it's subtle. It's almost like if you didn't know that's what you're looking for here. More down the barrel. You'd barely see it. Yeah. They had these players hit with the bat. They determined which part of the bat they were actually most likely hitting.

to hit the ball with. And then they moved the thickest part of the bat to that. So they look kind of silly. They look absurd, but, um, but judge hit three home runs. That's true. Judge doesn't use it. The judge was not using it. Judge is just superhuman, but the Yankees put up 20 runs or something. So they, they played out of their mind with these bats. So I think, um, I think you're going to see a lot more teams start to do this. It that's, I love that. We've been, baseball's been played forever and,

And there's still stuff like this happening. I think a lot of people hate this. I actually love it. I think it's awesome. I think every team should work within the confines of the rules like this. Well, yeah, every other sport does. Exactly. Golf uses shift. I didn't like it when they, a few years ago, they did away with the shift rule. I mean, they made a shift rule where you can't shift. Right. Yeah. I wanted...

Even though that wasn't something I came up with, the fact they thought about it, I wanted it to stay that way. If you can't hit it where they're not, that's on you. Yep. I mean, the shift rule should have stayed. But you know what? Then you go all the way back before it designated hitter, which y'all weren't born. I was. Yeah, that's right. You were. You just didn't understand. I mean, but it's just been...

What, two, three years that the DH is in the National League now? Yeah. I think more than that, but yeah. Yeah, and that was the craziest thing. Because the strategy of do you pull your pitcher or not

When he's on fire, but you're down two, and he's coming up to bat. I mean, do you leave him in or do you pull him? I mean, all these things. And who do you replace? Do you replace the center fielder now to shake up the lineup the next time around? Right. And you put the relief pitcher in a different spot, and now you've got a guy who hadn't been playing all day in center field, and all of a sudden he's got to –

He gives up sacrifice fly because he's got no arm. You know, all these things, all that strategy is gone. I know. Well, this is part of what I think baseball can mirror America in this way where there's this tradition and then there's like a resistance to change things, but it does slowly adapt to

over time, I think it reflects our society in that way. No, I agree. If you'll let me get romantic. No, no, no. I think it's great. And, and the, I love it. The time clock's great. I mean, yeah. The pitch clock, that really changed baseball. It sure did, man. I mean, it's amazing. That White Sox game was two and a half, two and a half hours. Yeah. Which is awesome. It's great. Shortened it by 24 minutes in the first year of the average baseball game. Wild. They did the pitch clock. This was two years ago. The pitch clock, which is the biggest. And then the bases are bigger now. So there's more stolen bases. Yeah.

And that's just more fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because in the eighties, which was my heyday of watching Ricky Henderson was still over a hundred bases a season. Vince Coleman would Tim Rain if we get 70 or 80. Um, yep. But nowadays still in basis just started a big, big thing. No. And, and they used to,

Talk about it all the time. It was a top topic of the day of how many stolen bases is so-and-so going to get all this. And when that player came at the bat, they had the split screen always. Yeah. So, and that's when that all started. Tracking it. Yep. My father-in-law sent me this this morning. The guy who created the torpedo bats for the Yankees, his name is Aaron Leinhardt.

Look at this career. He got a PhD from MIT. He worked on a NASA-funded research team. He was a physics professor at Michigan for seven years. And then at 40 years old, he said, I want a career in baseball.

He left academics, started working at a community college, became a minor league coach for the Yankees, and then just worked his way up from there. And then he says, I mean, he has the idea to go, let's make the bats a different shape. Wow. That's just a smart guy. So his pursuit of baseball, is that playing or just coaching? Coaching. I think he's at 40. Yeah, I was going to say. I was going to say, he should have brought that bat then. Yeah.

Changed the game back then. Yeah, yeah. Another thing they've changed recently to speed up the game is the pickoff. You can't throw over there a million times. Right. Yeah, you got to limit a number of moves over there. Is it two? Two, yeah. Two. Man, see, that's crazy. So all you got to do is get two, and then you can take a biggest lead as you want because he can't throw over there. And the bases are bigger. The bases are bigger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would steal 150 bases. Yeah.

Were you a good baseball player? That's all I did. Yeah. That was what I was going to do. And, you know, I was fast. I put in the greatest hitter. Yeah. But I had a great arm for a little guy. Center field. Center field, left field. Outfield my whole life. Played shortstop early on. I mean, outfield my whole life. And then they...

I played shortstop early on and then in little league, I used to get one haircut a year. Yeah. So one year I would start baseball season start. My hair would be down like here. Yeah. You know, everybody called me Mowgli from jungle book. It was so long. So, and, uh, my second year in little league coach said, Hey, you're going to have to cut your hair. And I said, no, I'm not cutting my hair. I don't cut it until after the season every year.

And I get it cut really short. That's just what I did. So opening game, I'm not playing second base or shortstop. He's got me in right field. And his son was playing center field. Ball eyeball was hit. I chase it down, and I throw a guy trying to tag going to third. And then I just shove his kid to right field. You made the coaching move. And I stayed in center field. And I played out there the rest of my career. Yeah.

You just go, I think that's evidence enough. I need to be up here. I did. Because his son was standing there like this, and the ball was clearly 20 feet behind him. Yeah. And I ran it down backhanded and gunned the guy. Just grabbing a kid by the shoulders. You're going over here. Yep. I kind of grabbed his numbers in the back and just kind of shot him. The coach's son. That makes it even better. Yeah, it was the coach's son. That's awesome. And by golly, he left him out there. Yeah. He's like, I get it. Even he knew. Yeah. I get it. Yep. It's so funny, man. Yeah. Yeah.

Didn't you say you shagged some fly balls, though? Tim Raines, man. So I used to go down to spring training. Expos were there. Brent Smith was a pitcher. And Tim Raines and Tim Wallach, Eli Wallach. And, you know, just one day, just, hey, Henry, did you play ball? Yeah, yeah, I thought we did. Yeah, I thought you did. Why don't you come on? Come on, go out and shag some flies. God, that was the coolest thing ever.

So then I grabbed Tim Raines and pushed him towards center. He never left. Never left.

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There's been talk about another pretty major rule change, which I'd be for, requiring starting pitchers to go at least six innings unless they throw 100 pitches or give up four runs or more or get injured. Okay, so there is a stipulation on earned runs. Okay. Yeah. I agree with that. When I was a kid, the starting pitcher was as big of a star as... They go nine innings. Yeah, everyday player. And nowadays, it's just all, again, strategy, but...

They all specialize. Yeah, it's super rare for the guy who starts the game pitching to end the game pitching. Very rare. Super rare. It used to be way more common. Oh, yeah. But there's a game this weekend against the Yankees where the first three pitches of the game were home runs. Really? Yeah, yeah. It was Nestor Cortez. He was coming back to the Yankees. He was on the Yankees years ago, last year.

First three pitches were home runs. So you're like, well, you got to be able to pull that guy if you want to. Right. So there's like, well, it's a four runs. Yeah.

But those were three solo home runs. Yeah, yeah. So now he's got to throw to one more guy. I guess you just serve one up. I know. Yeah, we'll be down 4-0. Get them out. Well, they'll do this every now and then. They kind of propose these crazy rules, and then everybody gets mad, and they debate it, and then most of them don't happen.

Like they did some of the golden at bat rule. Remember they were talking about like, that was going to be, that's why I'd be the idea being that once a game, you can put anybody into bat one time in the game. Yeah. So you're like, well, that's just like, what are we even doing here? It's like a kid that came after American idols, golden ticket, right? That's where they got it. Yeah. Same, same concept. Yeah. Now that I hear the Yankees just changed the rule on facial hair.

I don't know about that. They just changed it. Yeah, where it used to be you had to have a clean-shaven face. Yes. To play on the Yankees, it was that way forever. And it was that way for a lot of teams. With the Reds, too. Cincinnati Reds. Really? Yeah, back in the big red machine days. So the Yankees were the last team to hold on to. So you'd have these guys who were famous for having a mustache or long beards, and then they'd play for the Yankees, and they had to –

cut it all off. I think you could have a mustache still. Yeah. You couldn't have anything on the chin or the side. So even employees, I think. Really? I think so. Yeah. Men and women. I wasn't going there. So I was looking at greatest teams of all time. The 27 Yankees is often, that's what people refer to. Right. But, uh,

the big red machine that you just referenced pretty crazy. The lineup they had there, they had, uh, uh, three MVPs and would, I'm sorry, three hall of famers and should have been for Pete Rose. He got in, um, six national league MVP selections during that time. Crazy. It's just like a murderer's row of, of, uh, team 25 gold clubs, uh,

Three batting champions. Yeah. It was crazy. And that was your team, right? That was my team. I mean, you know, just listening to the radio in my driveway back in the mid-75, 76. Yeah. And listening to it at night. And then when I was in high school, so Knoxville is where I'm from. Atlanta was three hours-ish and the old Brave Stadium. And Riverfront Park in Cincinnati was just less than four hours.

So in high school during baseball season, you know, if we were, if our practice was rained out, we would find out if the Reds or Braves were playing. Yeah. And me and a couple other guys, we'd jump in the car and drive and watch the game and drive back. That's awesome. The longest I've been to Cincinnati during high school, I was probably there, you know, 10 times probably. The longest I'd ever been in Cincinnati before I started comedy was like three hours and 50 minutes because one game went 10 innings.

Cause that was it. We'd cross the river into Cincinnati, go to the game and leave. That was the only time I was ever there, but I was there 10 times. Yeah. Aaron, have you heard the story about him meeting Johnny Bench?

No, I don't think so. I met your buddy who was on these Reds teams. Doug Flynn. Yeah, yeah. He met Doug Flynn, who was the utility guy. Yeah, Doug, Golden Glove winner in 1982 for the Mets. So, yeah, you met him in Lexington. So Doug and Johnny hosted this golf tournament. And so I met Johnny Bench. And I said, man, when I was a kid, I was up there and I went and got your autograph. And I gave you this picture. And it's a picture of Johnny Bench.

Coming out, he's got his glove in one hand and his mask in the other. And he's walking, he's got his shin guards on and his chest protector and his white uniform pants. And he signed his name on the pants. And I told him that he gave me an autograph and he goes, I remember you. You remembered him? He remembered me. Apparently there's not many Asians with a Southern accent. Yeah. With long hair. Yeah. Yeah.

He probably thought I was a girl. That's crazy. Yeah. He remembered me. Wow. Yeah. He goes, I remember when you came up and got my autograph. I said, really? He goes, yeah, man. You play golf with a lot of these guys?

Yes. So I got to meet all of my heroes, most of them, Ken Griffey. Senior or junior? Doug Flynn. I met them both. And the coolest thing is when I met Junior, he goes, man, my dad loves you. And I go, oh, get out. And so we did a FaceTime call. Wow. And Ken Senior answered. Oh, that's awesome. And he goes, Henry, man, what are you doing? I said, I'm here with your son. It was like crazy. Joe Morgan, George Foster. Yeah.

Tony Perez, I met briefly. But yeah, all my heroes. Almost all these guys. Who was your favorite player growing up? Joe Morgan. I was number eight when I was playing. He played second base. Did you do the whole batting? I did, and no one knew what I was doing. So I asked Ken Griffey, Mr. Griffey, when I met him, I said, hey, when you went up there,

You would always, I mimicked you in the dugout dragging your feet around. And he said, you know why I did that? I said, no way. He goes, because I let off and Joe Morgan was second. And Joe Morgan said by the time his second time up, that back line better be gone.

so he could cheat back two or three inches. He goes, that's the only reason I was doing it. I was a rookie. He goes, that back line's better be gone. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. That's so cool. I said, well, Hank, I wasn't doing that. I was just moving my feet like how you were. Just imitating. Right. Who was your favorite player growing up? Chipper Jones. No.

No. You Chipper Jones guy? Chipper Jones was the guy. Yeah. For anybody, I grew up in Alabama. The closest team is Atlanta. All the Braves games are on TBS. Chipper Jones, it was a fight every year to get number 10.

Yes. Because of that. Yes. It was like you, even in football, you were like, I wanted 10 because of Chipper Jones. Yeah. He was that cool. He was good. I tried to be a switch hitter for a while because, because he, because he was a switch hitter. And then I read like in sports illustrated for kids and,

I read an interview with him about how he became a switch hitter. He's like, I just decided to try to hit with the, I was out in the backyard trying to hit left-handed and I, I got so, I'm so impatient. I was just like, this stinks. I never did it, but I, I tried because of him. Because he did. I wanted to play third because Chipper Jones did. Like, it's hard to understate

or overstate the impact that that guy had on almost every decision I made as a kid. Wow. Was like, you want to be like Chipper Jones. No, no, no. But I get that. I mean, you know, if you grew up a certain way and there's, you know, you got your little sports heroes, I'd be the same way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I told him, I had Del Murphy poster on my wall. Right, right. Pete Rose and Dwight Gooden. Yeah.

I became a big Dwight Gooden fan. Did you really? Because when I was 14 or 15, he was a 19-year-old phenom. I'm like, this guy's not much older than I am. Right. He was unbelievable. Yeah. Those first few years, he was the best ever. Yeah. Out of the gate. Yeah. What happened? Drugs. Yeah. Oh, okay. You looked at me like you really didn't know. I was like, okay. It happened to Daryl Strawberry. They were hanging out together. Yeah. They were 30 for 30, I think, about them a couple years ago. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I see. It's really good. Yeah.

So what do you think about, they tried this this year in spring training, experimented with it, where you can challenge the balls and strike, and then they go to a computer to look. Yeah, this is like a larger philosophical question about how you want sports to work. Do you think human error is part of the game? And I tend to think that for baseball, it is part of it.

I do too. I think that like a call getting slightly, the great irony in all this is that the umps have never been better. If you look at like the statistics, like the umps are really good. And there are a few that we know of that are bad and there are bad calls every now and then. But for the most part, like we're talking about,

very small number of calls that they're not getting correct. Yeah. So it's like, do we want to just remove any human element from, why don't we just put computer chips in the cleats and on the bases and in the ball?

and just like do it that way. It's like, where does it stop? Right. If you're doing automatic balls and strikes. No. The balls and strikes, you can't argue. That's just part of the game. Yeah. And as we all know, you know, different umps behind the plate have their different strike centers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know. There's something romantic about that. I agree. I agree. Yeah, it's part of baseball. I think it's just part of baseball. And yeah, they're probably doing really well getting calls right because they really have to now. Yeah. I mean, it's, I mean, there's,

you know there's some blatant calls that world series called kansas city st louis mm-hmm right you know guys like uh two feet from touching first place and you already see the hump don dekinger yeah doing that it's like okay yeah so yeah there's been some terrible calls

in history, but they are getting better. And now there's a box on the screen. Which is cool. Yeah. I think that. But that shows how good they are. For watching, yeah, for watching baseball, the strike zone on the screen and where the pitch hits, kind of like golf and the tracker. Yeah. It really enhances watching baseball. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. We were joking this, I mean, we had great seats to the game, but like,

the fact that I had a terrible view of the strike zone where I was watching. It's just very funny to yell about balls and strikes from up there. I know. You can't see anything. Come on, blue! Yeah. Can't see where the ball is, man. That picture you have on the screen, where is that? Is that Cincinnati? This is the old Cincinnati Red Stadium. That Astros stadium brings back so much memory because, again, as a kid, it was that Astros.

AstroTurf was everywhere. Right. Oh, yeah. All that is is carpet on concrete. Yeah. It's just... That field would get like 50 degrees over the temperature. That's probably 120 degrees right there. Yeah. It's crazy. It's so dangerous, right? Oh, yeah. So many injuries. But Conception playing shortstop would field a ball...

Like where that black mark is on the screen. Yeah. He'd field one there and then he learned how to one hop it to first base. And after it hit the ground, it would actually accelerate. Because of the- It'd pick up speed. It would pick up speed. Yeah. It was crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, one reason I read that they said pitchers, if they had to go six innings, another good thing is nowadays it's all about power. Everybody can throw 100 miles an hour or more. But if you had to go a certain amount, you can't do that. You got to strategize more, you know, which I think would be better for baseball than just

Pure power. No, I agree. Yeah, these guys that come in and just empty the tank because they're only going to pitch one inning. Yeah. Yeah. If you're a relief pitcher, that's fine. Ninth inning, eighth inning, whatever. But if you're starting, you shouldn't be able to go out there and just give it gas for two innings, three innings. Let me ask both of y'all right now. Right now, not you at your prime, like right now, you get 1,000 at-bats in a major league game.

What are you doing? Are you getting a hit? Are there defense out there? You're in a game. I'm in a game. I get 1,000 at-bats. You get 1,000 at-bats from, let's say, an average major league pitcher. We're trying to walk. Okay. I would walk because I used to walk a ton. At 1,000, I would walk 10 times, and then I would strike out 10 times.

The rest. 990 times. At this age, right now? Yeah. I think, well, these guys are so good. I think even if I just didn't swing for 1,000 at-bats,

I don't know how many walks I could draw. That's what I'm saying. I think I did 10. Yeah, you just get lucky. Yeah. Maybe you get hit by a pitch. Maybe. I mean. Boy, I wouldn't want to do that. God willing, I'll get hit by it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but I don't, I mean, I just get, here's like the difference is if you put us in an NBA game,

I feel like give us a thousand shots, we'll find a way to get a shot in. But if someone's guarding us in the NBA? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm saying, yeah, just exist out there on the court long enough you can throw a shot up and get it in. Yeah, I could camp out in the corner. Yeah, exactly. If they would eventually pass me the ball and there's no one, I can get it off before anyone can block it.

That's why bowling, I feel like, is the only sport where you could do the best thing. You can't bowl a perfect game, but you could roll a strike, which is the best the pros can do. Yeah. It's like hitting a home run. Yeah. You know? It's like making a birdie. I don't think. You give me a thousand at-bats. I don't know. I mean, I maybe tip the ball once. Yeah. With a bat. These guys are just so good. Oh, there's. Trust me. Yeah. I.

It would be really, really hard for me to stand in that batter's box with that coming in. They throw one big hanging curve at your head. Yeah, you're done. I remember JV baseball, a player on our team jumped out of the way from a ball, and our coach was so mad that he didn't just stand in there and take it, that the next day at practice, one by one, we just lined up, and he just threw the ball at us. And nailed you. Yeah, and just like you got to learn how to just stay in the box and take it.

Did it work? I don't know if it worked for me. I think I was still scared of it, but I stood in there and took it, man. That might be old school coaching. I don't know if there's still good stuff like that. It is old school coaching. I remember in middle school, I was pretty good. I could handle the bat pretty well, but everybody had to stand in the batter's box, and we practiced suicide squeezes. Oh, man. That's where the guy's on 30s running home, and you've got to lay the –

And the pitcher is supposed to throw it at you if they see you do that. Yeah. And so our coach would throw pitches right at us, and you'd have that bat right in front of you. Right. And you've got to get it down or it's going to hit you in the face. Right. And, man, so many guys got nailed. And you had to do it until you got it right. Yeah, that's old school pitching. I never wore a cup in baseball. Bragger.

No, I was. Really? I had a kid. What position did you play? I pitched and played third base. Wow. And I never wore a cup. Because I. I'm surprised you could have a kid. Because Chipper Jones did. You checked.

No, I probably should have. It was so uncomfortable to wear. And then there was this kid growing up. This story's almost been mythologized in the Montgomery, Alabama baseball community that I don't really remember what's true about it or not. But the story I remember being told was this kid caught a ground ball up into his groin, and because of the... The ball hit the cup, and the cup didn't work, and it...

Cause damage. Cause, I mean, significant damage. And he had to be like airlifted to a hospital or something. I don't know. I don't remember what's true. All I remember is that scared me enough that I was like, I'm just not going to wear a cup.

It's like the person who wears the seatbelt and then they can't get out from the wreck. So I wear seatbelts. That's a perfect analogy. It makes zero sense. But the visual of what happened to that kid stays with me to this day. I didn't even know about it and it's hurting me right now. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I wore a cup when I played infield.

And then once I shoved that kid's, that coach's kid over, never want to win again. Yeah. You don't need one in the outfield. No. I put one out when I caught a few games. I had to wear one. Is baseball your favorite sport? It wasn't until like recently, last few years. I don't know. For whatever reason, I picked it back up. I stopped paying attention to it. And then that's the fun thing. It's like a baseball season. This is what's fun about it is I feel like football that demands your attention is

Because you got one game a week. Yep. And you got to pay attention to it. Baseball, dude, there's 162 games. You can fade out. You can not pay attention for a week because you got to live life. Right? And then you get back into it. The game's still going on. That's how baseball feels as a whole to me. Like I took a couple years off.

Still going on. It's the great constant in American life. You can pop back into it. No, I agree. 162 games is a lot. As a kid, I used to keep up with it. And now, I mean, it's like every two years, I go, are they any good this year? Yeah, exactly. And I think it's designed to be, I think that's a feature, not a bug.

Right. It's a good way to look at it because with a kid now, I feel like baseball is the last sport I could keep up with because there's so many games. But to your point, yeah, just dip in and dip out. Dude, put the game on and then wash the dishes. Like you don't have to. That's women's work. Am I right, Henry? Yeah.

Yeah. Who watches it? It's borderline. I mean, if I'm at the game or if it's a big game, I will watch it very intently. But like I said, 162 games. But when do those games come up? World Series, playoffs. Exactly. So you don't have to – I agree with you. But football, that's why football is such a huge television monster. One game a week. One game a week.

Thursday, Sunday, Monday. That's it. And you have to pay attention. And you want to pay attention. And also, it's only going to go for 18 weeks. There's a ton of games being played right now as we're doing this podcast. That's what's great. Pop it on, look at it, take it off. It's awesome, man. So the 1981 Cincinnati Reds had the best record in the National League, didn't make the playoffs. Nope.

Yep. Wait, what happened? There was a strike season, shortened season, the middle of the season, and they were in second place when the strike happened, and they were second place. On the second half. Second half. Overall, had the best record in baseball. Whoa. Yeah. But since they didn't win either half, they didn't get to go to the playoffs. Oh, that's crazy. Yep. Yeah. I remember that. Everybody was furious. Yeah. That was the Tom Seaver year, right? Tom Seaver went 14-2. Did not win a Cy Young because they gave it to Fernando Valenzuela. Oh.

Who went five and six in the second half or something like that. Yeah. He was eight and oh, and then five and six. That's crazy. So I was looking up some minor league stats. Who do you think is the best? What's the best minor league baseball team name? I'm extremely biased, but I think the Montgomery Biscuits have a heck of a case. That's a good one. Montgomery Biscuits. You know Montgomery's famous for its biscuits.

I did not know that. We're not at all. You used to have a joke about that. Yeah, I was like, we're not known for biscuits or anything. No. But we had a poll. I think I remember we had a poll. The city got to vote. It came down to the Montgomery River Rats or the Montgomery Biscuits, and Biscuits won by a landslide. Well, it's because, you know, because River Rats, there's all those mud cats. Mud cats, yeah. It feels very kind of unoriginal. Biscuits is awesome, dude.

And then the puns just got churned. I mean, biscuit season tickets, get them while they're hot. I mean, it's every billboard is a biscuit pun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty great. Hard to do that with a river rat. Yeah, exactly. Huntsville is the Rocket City Trash Pandas. Yes, the Trash Pandas is always a good one. Yeah, there's some crazy minor league.

names but that's why they do it I mean it you get the logos and you get the merch and people know what it is I mean that's yeah you can just lean into the silliness of it yeah

So the most seasons in the minors before you got called up, John Lindsay, 16 years in the minors. Wow. Did you look up Ray Knight? Did you look up Ray Knight? Remember we talked about that? I did not look up Ray Knight. You said he spent a way long time in the minors. Ray Knight spent like 12 years in the minors because he was behind Pete Rose. But then I said it may have been nine, but 12 just sticks in my head.

He's the man who replaced Pete Rose at third base. Drafted 1970. I think he was in there for 12 years. There's another guy. We have a friend in the podcast, Doug Buckler, who's the pitching coach for the Toledo Mudhens. That's a good one. That is a good one. The hitting coach for Toledo is the minor league's all-time home run leader. He's hit 433 home runs. 433?

Really? 19 seasons. Wow. That's crazy, isn't it? What's his name? Mike Hessman. Okay. Wow. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. So all these guys, they compare to Crash Davis from Bull Durham. Crash Davis was a real player, I looked up, that the director of the movie knew of or found and said that'd be a good baseball name. Crash Davis. That is a great name. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. You have a favorite baseball movie?

The natural, probably. Robert Redford. Oh, that's a good one. Natural is great. I think Brian and I have the same answer here. I think Moneyball is my favorite baseball movie. Oh, yeah. Moneyball is good. Might even be my favorite. And actually, you remind – I meant to – you kind of remind me – if you watch that movie, Henry, Brad Pitt's character reminds me of you. I get that a lot. Not – I'm kidding. Yeah, yeah. Just like the way he acts. I want –

Watch it next time and think about Henry Walt with Brad Pitt's character. And what's the other guy's? Jonah Hill. Yeah. Kind of reminds me of me now. Think about it. You get that a lot. You get that a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. Moneyball. I'll watch it and see what you're saying. Have you ever auditioned for a movie? A baseball movie? Yeah. So they were talking. The old Major League series. Yeah.

That was my favorite movie as a kid growing up. And then they already had the Asian guy in the second one. And so I didn't want to be the Asian guy. I wanted to be Wesley Snipes' character. Because they replaced him in the second one, I think. I was trying. Yeah. But they had me over here. No, you got to go in that room. I'm like, I'm not going in there. And I just left. What's a sports...

event, team, something that you wish they made a movie or even a documentary about. Wow. I think they're going to make one about torpedo bats if it keeps up. Yeah, if it can. I mean, Moneyball 2. About the torpedo bats. You know, I watch so many sports that all the great sports moments and stuff, I think I've seen replays of it, so it feels like it's a documentary, even though it's not. But some stuff, there's just not...

like great footage of it. You think about like, uh, even the miracle hockey game. Yeah. I've seen the movie, uh,

The movie's unbelievable. The movie is how I think about that moment because I wasn't alive when it happened in real life. But the footage of the game stinks, dude. Right. Well, you know why? No one watched it. We didn't watch it. The only reason we watched it is because people were going around telling, hey, the United States may have a chance to win. We're like, what? There's no way. And then all of a sudden you tune in. So whoever I saw the last, I'd probably say there was probably –

Eight minutes left in the game. By the time I actually got to where I could watch it. Because I heard as it was happening that this was happening. So, you know, there are things like that that I hear you. The movie version is all you know. And it's also my generation, probably most people also. Because no one really watched it. Yeah. And it's just, if it only had the actual footage of it, it's just kind of...

You know, it's like grainy. It's like one camera. It's like it deserves its own. It's like the Immaculate Reception. You don't. You don't. I can only see the little grainy footage of it. Boom, boom. And then you see Harris going and picking it up off the ground. But there's no shot of. Yeah. I want like a cinematic shot. Yeah. They need to recreate that digitally. Do a little CG on it. Yeah. Because, you know, he always said I was always coached to follow the ball.

So that's the only reason I was running that way. So, yeah. Well, with AI, we'll be able to do all this. Yeah. I'm sitting here trying to think of some, they made a movie. Dennis Quaid played the guy who became a rookie, like 35 years old. Right. The rookie. Yeah. That's a great movie. That was a great movie. Great story in real life. Yes.

Yeah. I made almost every current Warner. You know, there's a movie, you know, it's funny about the rookie is a real life. The guy was like 35. Yeah. And it's like the, the problem is like this old man. I know. Come back. He's 35. Dennis Quaid was way older and it's a better story when he was like 50 or 40. Yeah. You're like, Oh, this is a 35 year old. That's me. There's guys still playing. I know. I know. It's crazy. Yeah. I was telling Henry in the car this weekend, there's a documentary about,

called The Battered Bastards of Baseball. And it is so good. It's about Kurt Russell's dad bought a minor league baseball team in Portland back in the 60s or 70s and just had open tryouts and this ragtag team of guys. It's just like, I mean, it's a documentary, but it feels like a movie. And they just did crazy stuff. It's really good.

Because that was a big thing that Kurt, his son, Kurt played baseball. Yeah. Now we know how. His dad had to. There's a lot of country music stars that were good baseball players. Yeah. Who? Charlie Pride. I think he played maybe in the minors. Charlie Pride was good. Conway Twitty, I think, played. Did he really? Ronnie Millsap. He was an op. Yeah. Oh, what's he really? I'm joking. Okay. I'm joking.

I saw Ronnie last week. You can't talk about that. I know. That Opry thing was great. It was crazy great. Yeah, we didn't talk about that at all. That looked awesome. The 100th anniversary of the Opry. Yeah, it's crazy. You were a part of it. Yeah, being a member, so we did rehearsal and I'm up there and they put our pictures in the seats where we're going to sit and I see where I am and I'm like,

Okay. Yeah. And then they go, hey, there's things going to happen here. So you and Amy are there. I said, all right. And I looked over and there's like some of my pals further back and I felt bad for like five seconds. Yeah. You had a better seat. Yeah. I went, oh, that's a bummer. Yeah. I should. Nah. Okay. Nah. And at the end got to go up on stage. Yeah. Crazy. That's so cool, man. I was standing there because I was on the back in the middle and I got to look. I had the best view of everybody up there.

I went, wow, this is it. This is all the members except a handful that couldn't make it. It's really cool. It was cool. Yeah. You were at Tixie. You're on there more than Blake Shelton who hosted it. Yeah. That's what everybody was saying. I saw John Chris a couple of times and Theo Vaughn. Just in the crowd. Yeah. But they were a lot further back. Well, they should have been. Yeah.

Yeah, they're not members. Theo's never even done the offering, I don't think. They didn't have their pictures anywhere. Trust me. Yeah, yeah. Field of Dreams. That's another. Yeah. Field of Dreams was good. Yeah. You know how dumb I am? I was in Dubuque, Iowa, and I was like, oh, the Field of Dreams field is like 35 minutes from here. Let's go. So I drove out there, and then I got there, and I realized this is the dead of winter. There's snow everywhere. There's no corn.

And you can't see the field. It's just all snow. I thought corn, I thought the corn would be gone, but the stalk would still be there. Turns out the whole thing dies. Yeah, they cut it down every year. Yeah, I had no idea. And it kind of loses its magic when the corn's not there. It's just a field covered in snow. Yep. So if you were going to do a... I felt like such an idiot, dude.

Oh, the Bad News Bears? I did it. I did it. I said dude. You said dude. I know. I was going to point it out. You've done it a bunch. I was going to point it out. Golly. Yeah, Bad News Bears was good. Walter Matthau. Yeah. That was good. So if you're going to do a Mount Rushmore of best baseball players of all time, who would have on there? Well, I'm not going to go way back because I didn't see him play. I'm not going to do Ruth here. Oh, tell them the story about your grandfather. Oh, so my grandfather –

was a pitcher in Korea and he was crazy great and he played on this Japanese baseball team. And so when the Yankees in the 20s won the World Series, they went to Japan and there was an exhibition game. And my grandfather, he couldn't communicate well, but he had Babe Ruth 0-2 in the third pitch. And I said, what happened? He goes, it's

but then he struck him out the next two times oh wow yeah it's great my grandfather his face Babe Ruth yeah that's so crazy his right hand on his his finger was jacked like that permanently from taking a line drive on his hand but it was like wow yeah pretty cool oh that's awesome okay that's fair so you're only gonna do players that you've

grew up with or seen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not guys in the past because they were going to get stuck on. I think baseball is harder than any other sport because, I mean, football, you're really, you're talking about the Super Bowl era, which is, you know, that's what you think of is modern football. Right. Basketball has been around maybe 75 years, modern. Baseball,

We're pushing 150 years. Yeah. There's guys. Yeah. I mean, you know, all these guys from like the turn of Wagner. I mean, yeah. Ty Cobb. Ty Cobb. Who would be one? We'll do just guys from our lifetime that we've. Yeah. We have more to work with than you do, but. Yeah. So mine would be. They can't, they can't do steroids. Oh yeah. He can't. There took my top three. Yeah. I'll do. Let me go. Yeah. Go. Dale Murphy. No. King Griffey Jr. Okay.

I think he's got to be on there. Even if he did cheat, Barry Bonds was one of the best baseball players. He's probably the best ever. Mike Schmidt. Okay. Probably best third baseman ever. And I'll throw a pitcher in there. Greg Maddox. Greg Maddox. Maddox, definitely. Mine would be Cal Ripken Jr. I'd have to go Joe Morgan. Uh-huh.

Pete Rose? You putting them on there? I was going to do four reds, but I'm not. Okay. Dave Winfield. Nice. Got drafted in all three sports. Yep. And then my last one would be, it's a tough one. Johnny Bitch? That's another red. I'm going to stay with red. I'll come back to you on that one. Do a pitcher. Do a pitcher? Yeah. Saberhagen. Saberhagen. Ooh, that's a... Saber.

That's a good one. Brett Saberhagen. That's a good one. I'll do Barry Bonds, Griffey Jr. I'll do Chipper Jones and...

I want to put Shohei up there, too. Yeah. I know it's early. No, but I'm with you. But Shohei Otani, if you're not into baseball, you haven't watched it in a while, now is a good time to get back. We're in the middle of a once-in-a-multi-generational player playing with the Dodgers, and Shohei Otani is unbelievable. Yes. And you may never see this again. I don't think you ever will. We never have before. We haven't. Yeah. Mm-mm.

Nobody has. When I grew up, I think you can allude to this, growing up here in Middle Tennessee, it was the Braves, Reds, and Cardinals were the three closest teams. More Braves than anybody because they're probably the closest. But my friends who lived in Clarksville, they would go see the Cardinals because that's an hour further that way. They were all Cardinals fans. There was a lot of Ozzie Smith fans growing up. Yep. Del Murphy. Right. Yeah, I could have put Ozzie on there.

Yeah. As far as entertaining players, he's up there for sure. I was telling you recently about Eric Davis. Remember him for the Reds? Oh, yeah. He was going to be the next big thing. But he got that injury. Yeah. His kidneys or something got hit. Never was the same. Yep. Yep. All right. That was fun. I think if you're not, listen, if you're not into baseball, I'm sorry. We got into it, man. There's a lot of inside baseball.

Yes, this week inside baseball. Inside baseball. That's great, dude. But I had fun talking about it. I'm sorry if you didn't. But, you know, you got to get with it. Dude. That's on you. It's America's pastime. And just like baseball, maybe you're not in the mood to listen to this podcast now. Give it some time. Get on with your life. We'll be here when you're ready to come back. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. Just like this is a 162-game season of a podcast.

And we're in April. So we'll see you at the All-Star break. You know what I mean? I don't know what any of that means. I don't really know what I'm saying. I'm saying we talked about baseball. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but I liked it. It's the last great cross-section of America. I mean, I was refraining from using that exact terminology. You use that all the time. Yeah. I get romantic about it. There's a line in Moneyball. How can you not be romantic about baseball? I think about that. I agree. There's a line in Sandlot. You hit like a girl. Right? Yeah.

Yes. Yes. I wrote that. All right. That was great, dude. Henry, thank you so much for coming, man. Always happy to show up. Let's promote our shows. Okay, let's do it. Yeah, this Saturday I'm at the Packer Playhouse in Columbia, Tennessee. April 11th and 12th, I'm back in Detroit. Detroit House of Comedy.

April 26th, I'm in West Bend, Wisconsin at the Bend Theater. I'm a theater act now, Henry. I know you are. So come see me in April at one of those locations.

I'm very fortunate. This month, I have several shows, but they're already sold out, so I'm not worried about that. Oh, yeah. I love it. I love it. So we're going to go. Yeah, pull up the Henry Cho tour there. I'm in Huntsville this weekend, and then I'm in Bartlett, and then, yeah, slide that down.

Good tour dates here. Huntsville. There we go. You are. Tell you what. Pensacola. Kids out of the house, you've been after it. That's right, man. Yeah. So Pensacola, that one's got some tickets left. Let's do the April 24th. Added to the show in Hattiesburg. So jump on that. Here's where I need you. Concord, New Hampshire, and Pittsfield, Massachusetts, and Fort Wayne, Indiana. Jump on those tickets.

And then I'm going to the West Coast. Got Boise and Portland. We had a show in Portland, had a show in Boise. And then Denver, jump on that. That's awesome, man. The Wilbur in Boston. Yeah. So, hey, the Boston, New Haven, and D.C., get on there because those shows have plenty of seats left.

Fort Wayne, Indiana. Baseball reference. Aaron's glove. Wasn't that where it was found? That's where it was found. Oh, that's right. That's where Steve Byrne found my childhood baseball glove. I remember you told me that. Isn't that crazy? That's crazy. Yeah. That's awesome. Here it is. Baseball bringing us together. That's right. That's what it's all about. I want to plug one show and one show only. May 31st.

South Bend, Indiana. I'm headlining in South Bend for the first time ever. So that's a big show for me. The Stock Room East is the name of the venue. May 31st in South Bend, Indiana. Come on out. Go Irish. Cool. All right. Henry, thanks for...

Doing us a favor and hopping in here last minute. Always happy to come hang with you guys. Filling in for two guys. Appreciate it. It was hard. It's really hard. Those are two big guys. But I can talk. And I got a couple stories. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. All right. All right. Signing out. Let's go. Goodbye, folks. We did it. None of it's lost on us. We love you. And have a pleasant evening.

Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.