255: #255 Hobbies featuring Mike James
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Hello, folks, and hey, bear. Welcome in to the Nate Land podcast. We're back, and better than ever, there's an energy in the studio today. There's just a tangible feeling of hope and optimism and just feeling good, and I hope we can ride that wave for the next week.

let's do three or four hours sure what do you think sure i'm aaron weber alongside brian bates all right and dusty's gone nate's gone we had to get somebody tall enough to fill their shoes we got the very funny mike james in the studio today mike welcome back buddy i appreciate you having me you're a longtime friend of brian and of me and brian and yeah i was about to say you're

I was going to say just Brian. Yeah, you and Brian go way back. We just met before the episode, but excited to have you on here, man. Very funny comic here from Nashville. He's been on the road with Nate. He's been doing stand-up forever. He's a staple of the Nashville comedy scene and a returning guest to the Nateland podcast. So this will be a lot of fun. Yeah, man. I appreciate you having me. You know, if the Nateland tour put together a basketball team, that would be awesome.

You think Mike makes it? Well, I would hope so. Nah, I'm not going to play. But yeah. No, I think Mike could be third pick. Yes. So then you got Nick Thune. Oh, I was going to say Nick Novicki. I got Nick Novicki running point. Okay, perfect. You, Nick Thune, Lachlan Patterson, Johnny W. That's four picks.

Tall guys. We're pretty tall guys. Johnny's what, 6'4"? Johnny's taller than you think he is. Yeah, he's 6'3", 6'4". He's disappointingly tall. You know what I mean? He walks in, you're like, ugh. Yeah. For what? Yeah.

That's what you get if you're not playing ball. Yeah, you're just that tall for no reason. Yeah, you're not going to do nothing with that height, man. You're already on a stage, Johnny. You don't need to be 6'3 to play guitar. How much attention do you need? That's so wild. How often do you get asked where you played in college? Man, every day. Literally, every day. Unless I don't leave the house.

I'm going to get it from somebody. And did you play collegiate basketball? Yeah, I played D3 at Fisk University. Shout out to Fisk. Yeah. And Vol State. Okay. You know what's funny? Vol State, you know, Nate went there. Yeah. And then Billy Wayne Davis went there. And he, like, we didn't even realize it, but he was playing baseball the same time I was playing basketball. And then we started thinking about it. We started talking about it. I was like, I do remember him.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. He was a catcher. It's like a theater school for stand-up comics. Yeah. That's pretty crazy. The three of you. Yeah. Basically around the same time. Yeah. What about Hunter's Lane? Same thing with Hunter's Lane. That's a high school here in Nashville, right? Yeah. Yeah. Renard Hirsch, Brian Covington, myself, Ron Ron. Really? Everybody there? That's crazy. That's crazy, man. Yeah.

So people ask you every day, but they're correct. So they're not even, you know, they're stereotyped. I mean, it's just like, you know, I'm not playing now. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't want to, I don't want to get into all that. Like, well, why aren't you still playing? I know. Yeah. But I, I feel like I'll be walking to the airport and I'll see a six foot 10 black dude. And I want to say to him,

Come on. Where'd you play? Yeah. Yeah. That's understandable. I'm just curious. That's understandable. What are you doing with that height? Come on now. 16. Come on, man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's fine. You can do that. Were you scared too? Yeah. Because it doesn't come off as something you should do. But I'm like, I really want to know if I'm being honest. Yeah. I mean, if he's 5'11", then you're like, okay. Yeah.

It's like Carlton. Yeah, yeah. Like, did you play basketball somewhere? I assumed you played Stanley from the office. Yeah, I was like, come on now. 6'10", I get that though. Okay, so what's the cutoff for allowable height? 6'2 and up?

I mean, I think if you notice it. Yeah, I mean, yeah. If you're like, this guy is like, if he has to duck down and walk in the rooms, yeah, it's okay. I'm not going up to Johnny W. and say, where'd you play? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, he's just tall enough where it's like, I mean, 6'3 is kind of, it's like average tall, if that makes sense. 6'3 is average? Average tall. Yeah.

Among tall people. Right. That's average. Yeah. I would say that's true. Yeah. Like if you're walking through the airport, you're not going to notice a 6'3 guy most likely. Right. But 6'5 and above, you're like, hey. Yeah. 6'5 and above. What are you up to? Where are you going? Yeah. Yeah. Especially like I was in Utah. Oh, yeah. It's like the only tall person, the only black person. That's right. And everybody was like –

What are you doing here? I went to Alaska with Jay Flake, who's a black comic here in Nashville. Only black person we saw the whole time. And then we walked. He didn't get to see him. He's just the only black person we saw the whole time. He didn't even get to see him. Poor Jay. He had to go to a mirror. He's like, I didn't see any black people.

We were walking around downtown Ketchikan, Alaska, and we're walking past the store. It's like a jewelry store, and there's a black guy running it. And Jay walks by, and he looks, and the store owner looks at him, and they just point at each other. That's hilarious. Nothing else needed to be said. No, that's it. It was just an acknowledgement of like, we're out here, dude. We're doing it. Yeah, man. Be safe. Yeah.

That's all it is. Well, listen, we're holding it down here in the studio. Nate, as you know, he's on his Big Dumb Eyes tour. Huge shows. Have you been doing some with him recently? Yeah, we did Dayton,

The Ozarks. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Ozarks. The Walmart Amphitheater, right? Yeah, and Rogers. I heard John Chris bombed on that show. Is that true? No. It was nuts when he came out. I'm sure. They just wrapped up shows in Fayetteville, North Carolina, Chattanooga, Tennessee. I was on those shows. Oh, you were on those shows. How'd they go? We're recording this.

Full disclosure. The reason it's the three of us here is we're doing this during Memorial Day week. The schedules, everybody's schedules are crazy. Brian and I don't have a lot going on. So we hopped in here. Mike was nice enough. But I was on the shows with Nate and Fayetteville and Chattanooga. Stayed in elevation for me when I came out. That's awesome, dude. But not when you left. We stood up once for him.

No, no, no, no. But then when Nate was done, they started chanting, Brian, Brian. Really? Yeah. I don't think Nate liked it, but you got to do what the people ask. So that was your last weekend with Nate, probably. Yeah. Check out nateland.com. He's coming to a city near you. The tour is crazy, man. The hour is unbelievable. But just the size of the show and the production and everything, it's a spectacle. It is. Hope you can see it. Also, Greg Warren's new special, The Champ, is out now. It's getting great.

Great reviews. It just had a write-up in the New York Times. Comments are great. It's just Brian and I were talking last weekend. We were both watching it. So funny, man. Dude. Greg is inspirational. Yeah. The substitute, not the substitute, the assistant director

Fishing coach? Yes. Like, he didn't even, like, the act out of that was so perfect. Yeah. Because everybody knows an assistant coach that acts just like that. Yes. Like they're too important. Oh, my gosh, dude. And then the cheer that he put with it.

yeah oh he kept going with dude that was that is so funny we got other great nateland specials from aaron weber nick thune steven rogers all on the nateland youtube channel don't forget to check out the consumers every tuesday don't make me come back there every thursday and uh trach any of these podcasts which is not on here but it is happening it's today it's on wednesday yeah i don't know if i like that i think we gotta take wednesday back yeah you know what i mean

Not like we just got to reassert dominance. Yeah, let's give him Sunday morning or something. Mm-hmm.

And then we got a very special season three of Nate Land presents the showcase. That's June 22nd through the 24th. We're going to be hosting those. We got great lineups. I was just looking at the lineups today. A lot of really funny comment comics on there. I'm excited to see what they're going to do. Check out the merchant Nate Bargetti dot com. Check out the site for new drops. If you're coming to a show, come find us at the merch table. We are out here. Nate Lance cooking.

And this episode is no exception, man. It's... We are rolling. If you say it's going well enough times, it starts to happen. It starts happening, man. It's speaking into existence. Manifesting. We're getting there. That's what Dusty says. Yeah. Now, this comes out next week, June 4th, but I know...

You were on the road this past weekend with Godfrey. Yeah. How are those shows? Man, amazing. Raleigh Improv. Like, that was my first time ever in Raleigh. Yeah. So I didn't know what to expect. But it was a, like, I loved that club. Yeah. You worked at a club? I've done good nights in Raleigh. I've never done Raleigh Improv. Okay. It's huge. Yeah, it is. I've never done it where they have it curtained off right in the middle of the room. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's massive. Okay, yeah. It was great.

Godfrey, he's taping his special in June. So he's getting that hour ready. It's hilarious. Awesome. Good stuff, man. I saw him. Yeah, this is great, man. No follow-up. That was it. I saw Godfrey at...

That's all I have to say about that. I guess the first and only time I've seen Godfrey live was at the Comedy Cellar in New York. Oh, did he kill it? I didn't know who he was at the time. This was like 15 years ago, maybe. And I'm like, this guy is unbelievable. And then, of course, I've just heard about him over the years. And then...

You've been working with them for a few years now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. About right before the pandemic started working with them. I opened for Godfrey Valentine's Day at Zany's. Mike featured. I hosted. And the sound guy came back and was like, what kind of music do you want? And I jokingly was like, oh, maybe some classical. And then Godfrey named...

classical composers for maybe 10 minutes straight. He just kept naming them. And I was trying to jump in. I thought it was like a let's both do it kind of thing. It was a him doing it. So I just sat back and let him go. He kept naming composers. Yeah, dude. Yeah, this dude knows a lot of stuff. Learned, I think, would be the word. Yeah. You know what I mean? He's learned. Is that a real word? Is that a word? Yeah. Learned? Yeah. Yeah.

He's learned stuff. Okay. Learned. Yeah, educated. So it's the past tense of learn? Mm-hmm. Wait, hold on. Did you know that? You've never heard that? I don't believe that. I guess we're not learned. I thought you just... Neither of you are learned, I guess. Learned. Learned? Yes. Learned. How about that? Having much knowledge acquired by study. Learned. Clearly, I haven't learned it.

It's funny that it's a word that kind of defines what's going on right now. Yeah. Well, it's kind of a, it's a pretentious way to say it. Oh, so now I'm learned. Okay. Yeah. Now you're learned. You've been, uh, I don't like that. I just don't. If somebody ever said that to me,

Like, if I knew that was a word before you said it, I would have been so mad at you just for saying it. Why? Just because it's just learned. The fact that we're both just hearing it for the first time means no one's ever said it to us. Like, ugh. How dare you learn it? It sounds like you're saying it incorrectly. Yeah, it does.

Like some forced couple. You say it that way, hoping somebody tries to correct you. So here's the ridiculous. It doesn't. Oh, okay. So it's learned. Yes. But it's spelled learned. Right. So, okay. Now, if you're saying I learned a new word today, you wouldn't say I learned a new word, but learn it as an adjective.

to describe a person. Why don't you spell it different? See, I don't, when you start doing all this, like it's the same word. It's the same word that you, that little dot is not going to be in there, right? No. Right. So it's the same word. That's the separate, the syllable. Yeah. No, but you know what I'm talking about when they put, they don't put a dot in the middle of the word, maybe a hyphen. Maybe they should. Yeah. Dash. Yeah. Well, why not a dash? If,

If it's a different word, it's a whole nother word. You can't just do that. When we start... You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but you know what? There's a lot of words when we were kids that spelled the same way and you just figure it out. We got to stop this, man. But when you become an adult and learned a new one like this, you're like, what are we doing? Yeah. I just hate that I did this. I just learned a word on here because I just...

Well, we are an educational podcast. That's what people say. Really? No. No. No. That's interesting. Right now, we're fighting my least favorite bugs, stink bugs.

Well, we were. I want to hear the full list later, but yeah, let's hear about the stink bugs. Number one, stink bugs. We were fighting them, but not anymore because we have Pesty. Pesty is do-it-yourself pest control. They give you the same products the pros use at a quarter of the cost. You can get started with a customized plan based on your location, bugs, and climate.

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Well, I had a good weekend, too. I won't get into it now because it hasn't happened yet. I'm sorry. No, no, no. It's all right. Yeah. Hey, man. How was your weekend? Yeah, that was rude. Thanks. I had a fun one. South Bend, Indiana. Fort Wayne, Indiana. Big weekend for me. And then Brian and I just taped our... Are we telling that? Can we...

All right, let's just leave it there, then. Let's leave it there. Let's leave it there, a little teaser. We don't know what we're talking about. And I don't even know what they're... I don't know what we're talking about. Yeah. Okay, I mean, that was a good cover-up. Let's move on. Yeah. Let's move on.

That's why I don't run the show most of the time. Because I'll just get into it. You know what I mean? What about you, Brian? Where were you? What were you doing? I was out with Nate. I got a standing ovation when I walked out. That's right. We thought you were playing. Yeah. Because you got one on the way up. That's got to feel good. I got enduring and... Wait, wait, wait. I'm joking. I haven't actually done the shows yet. Oh. See, we're taping this for next week. Now I'm learning. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So...

Because I thought you were serious this whole time. I'm a little confused at the moment. Right. What are we doing? Why don't we get into these comments, see where that takes us, right? I'll say one last thing about that. So I'm doing Chattanooga. Yes. I was talking to Henry Cho today. He said, you should get a date at the Comedy Catch. 100%. I said, I already have. And he said, you should mention that first thing when you walk up there. I was like, well, I was going to mention it at the end. He's like, I would do both and in the middle of your set. That's funny.

That's amazing. Yeah, it is. What's going on? Happy to be here. I'm going to be the comedy catch in a few weeks. Yeah, how do you even get in today? How are you guys doing today? Because you don't have that long anyway. No. Well, maybe if you want to do that, maybe have Julian bring you up that way. Oh, yeah, yeah. This next comic is actually going to be at the comic. Yeah. I'd rather that happen than you sitting up top. I know. It's funny to think three times in the show. Maybe by the third time I said it, people would be laughing.

Yeah. Henry hosted years ago now, he hosted a standup showcase that aired on the Opry's circle network where Brian and I famously made our television debut channel channel 4.5. Yeah. Henry hosted it. And he said, welcome back to Zany's comedy club. He got a note from one of the producers saying,

Hey, say Zany's comedy club and Natalie be more specific of where we are. So every time Henry said it, he would get increasingly specific about where he was, where he goes, welcome back to Zany's comedy nightclub, Nashville, Tennessee. By the end of it, it was Zany's comedy show place. Eighth Avenue. He just kept saying it.

So professional, but also like, you know, maybe hold back on the notes. I've been doing this a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we can get these comments. Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast Reviews, and nateland at natebargetzi.com. First comment today, Cameron Green.

Everything, everyone was on fire today with jokes, but Aaron's skunk comment, like racism, is the best thing I've heard in a long time. Thank you very much. That's fun. We really, we tackled some stuff on the last episode, Mike. Aaron thinks racism's a joke, but. Oh, let's get, let's talk about that.

That's the title of the episode. I feel like that's why I'm here. I feel like I was brought here just to talk about this comic. Episode 255, Racism, featuring Mike James. We're going to hash some things out here. Clear our schedule. Well, Brian found, they found a baby skunk in Brian's house. Four, actually. Four baby skunks. Not in it, but underneath the HVAC. Oh, wow. Mama and four babies. But they've been in there, you know.

They've been playing in there. They're checking it out. They're there right now. Well, I asked if baby skunks knew how to spray yet. This feels like a long way to get to racism.

Well, that's the thing about racism is that... Oh, man, don't do that. If you're going to do some kind of inspirational, don't do it. It's a long road, Mike. The beautiful thing about us, Kunk, is the black and the white fur works together. And then we've all learned something. We've all been learned it by the end of... I knew you were going to do that. Ugh.

Racism stinks, but... Racism stinks. Like a skunk. Oh, is that what you did? No. Oh, I was about to say, oh. That's even worse. There was a picture of a guy who removed it holding the baby skunk, and Aaron said, can they spray you? And I said, the guy said that they can't because they don't know how to yet. They haven't learned how to spray yet. Okay. Right? Yeah, yeah. And then Aaron said, oh, so it's like racism. Where you have to be taught it.

Yeah, I mean, I think that's pretty profound. I mean, it's profound, but... I'm trying to get a write-up in the New York Times. You know what I mean? Aaron and Cameron Green liked it, but... Yeah. No, a lot of people liked it. Shout out Cameron Green. I mean, I get it. You're against it. I'm against it, too. Cameron Black didn't like it. Yeah. Mason Welsh.

I have to correct Aaron about Nebraska. I'm going to stop you right there. Don't even remember what you're talking about, but let's find out why I was wrong.

It isn't flat, though that's a common misconception. Nebraska actually has one of the largest rockless hill ranges in America, which covers over one-third of the state and even large rock formations to the west. I did not know that. You guys need to work on your PR. You know what I mean? You need to really get that out there because I don't think most of the country knows about that. About rockless hills?

That there's hills at all in Nebraska. I mean. It's like the running joke about Nebraska and Kansas is that it's just flat, flat, flat. We got these diet hills now we're supposed to go see though. Sam's Choice Hills. Sam's Choice. Yeah, it's because it's not, I mean, it's not a real hill. It doesn't have rocks in it. Yeah, just a little incline. I did a little run all the way across Nebraska from.

You fly into Wichita, and then I went all the way. I mean, it butts up with Colorado, so it makes sense that there's going to be some hills. Oh, you're getting out there towards the Rockies. Yeah. All right. Yeah. That's nice. Sorry about that, Mason. I'm going to be at the Lincoln. Come see me in Lincoln in December. The Bourbon Theater. All right. Tell me all about it. That's on the other side of the state. Kyle Tracy. Aaron is 100% on point. Thank you, Kyle. Next comment. Jake Steves.

Aaron's 100% on point with using hazard lights for thank you. Flashlights to let someone over, and then they hit the hazards to say thank you once in the lane. Thank you. It's common sense. It's intuitive. No. If somebody lets you merge in front of them, you give them a little wave as a thank you. What if it's nighttime? I hope they can see.

I don't know what to tell you. I'm not doing anything extra. You're waving in the dark? I turned my little light on up there. You put the dome light on? I don't do it. I just hope they can see a shadow just doing that. It's just too much. I saw a video of an American driving in Japan, and everybody in Japan was doing that.

And you flash the hazards to say thank you. Well, they bow in there too. They don't bow in the car. I'm just saying. If you have to bow every time you meet somebody, then you're going to have to figure out something to do in the car. We're not bowing over here, Aaron. You didn't know. Maybe we should.

I had one today. I don't expect in this day and age everyone to give you a wave when traffic's merging. Sure. But I had one today just on the way here where the guy ran out of options and he's coming up the side. And if I don't let him over, he's in trouble. And I let him squeeze in. Doesn't get a wave. That, I feel like, deserves a wave. Yeah, yeah. So frustrating. That's tough, though. Why? Because he could have been kind of been a little frazzled because you let him in at the last minute. That's no excuse. Yeah.

Okay. Well, listen, you want people to use hazards to get over now. I don't know what else to do. No, not to get over. Just to say, it's just an indication of. But I told him, if I see that, I think this guy's got car trouble now and I'm stuck behind him. Your hazard lights out? Yeah. Yeah, this is too much. This is all fun to talk about, but Brian, you're smart enough to know that if you do something for somebody and they flash the hazard lights three times.

You would clearly go, well, that's obviously a response to what I just did. Yeah, or I think you want me to pull over. I might think you want me to pull over. Is this common knowledge for real? No, well, I thought it was. No, I didn't think it was commonly done in America, but I think it's what I was thinking. I think it's obvious what I'm doing. When I throw the hazards on to say thank you, I think people get it. I don't think they go, well, what's happening?

Jake Stevens,

They need to do it well. It's like kids in school who can't read but still get passed on to the next grade. If it's a bad business, they need to go or learn to do it better.

Yeah, I mean, look, I don't give a bad Uber review. Oh, okay. I was about to say, I feel like I just walked into a conversation in the middle of it. Yeah, that's what a lot of this podcast is. It's like you're in the middle of a conversation and you're like, I don't even care what they're talking about. Wait, what happened? And then you just wait for it to end. I was saying, I don't think I've ever left a bad review. I leave five stars for everybody, regardless of experience, because I know it actually affects people's

and affects their ability to make money. And I don't know. I just feel kind of bad doing it, unless they were like truly malicious behavior. Then I would go, yeah, I'll leave a bad review. But we were talking about an Uber driver that just smelled bad. Yeah. Really bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm not going to leave a one star like, hey, you stink. I'll leave you five stars. He may not understand what you're saying. Well, I drive pretty good. I don't know. Jake, I agree with you in principle. I guess I just don't have it in me. I don't have it in me to... To write a bad review? To tell a guy he stinks. What about tipping? If you get bad service, do you tip less? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's bad service, definitely. But I always over-tip anyways. But how often do you get bad service or just like, I don't know, somebody's overwhelmed and they're trying? Do you ever have a mean server that's like...

Deliberately. Not very often. No, that's not how it works. No, that's what I'm saying. So it's just, you know what? Let's just be nice to people. But no, I mean, I wouldn't leave a bad review if somebody stinks. You just got to take this. Who's doing that? You should spell this guy. Right. Who's doing that? I'm not going to do it, but I get it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm going to just complain about it, but I'm not going to actually write a review about it. What psycho's out there doing that? Well, man, some people stink out here. I mean, I get that. Yeah. Macy Bain.

Why are comedy club names so goofy? I know comedians aren't supposed to be hacky. And yet many of the club names are exactly that. Is it supposed to be tongue in cheek or is there another origin story you could share?

Yeah, they are silly. Some of them are so just baked into our lives and don't think about it anymore. Like Zany's. Zany's is a crazy name for a business. It's like Wacky's. Imagine if this was called Wacky's Comedy Club. I never thought about that. But it's Zany's. I agree because we've known it. We grew up here, so we've known it our whole life. I think these comedy clubs, most of them have been around for 40 years or more. And 40 years ago. The ones with the crazy names. Yeah. Yeah.

40 years ago, I think that wasn't hacky. Like, Zany's, oh, that's funny. Or the Looney Bin. Chuckle Hut. Chuckle Hut, yeah. I have a t-shirt from the Little Rock Looney Bin that says, I've been lobotomized at the Little Rock Looney Bin. Oh, yeah. And I didn't even think, the Looney Bin is like a mental asylum. I didn't even think about that. Yeah, I just thought it was because of the drink, the lobotomy. You know they have that drink, right? Yeah.

Did you know that? Oh, yeah. But it's all playing into the theme. I never even put two and two together. It's an insane asylum. That's the idea. I just thought it was just... I was like, this is probably the craziest drink ever. That's the only... You know what? I didn't even... That was a good one. Yeah. I never even put that together. I'm trying to think of other... Goonies, Crackers. Goonies. Snickers. Snickers. I don't remember Snickers. Where's Goonies? Goonies, there's one in...

Rochester, Minnesota. Okay. Goonies Comedy Club. There's a Looney's in Colorado. They're all kind of silly, but I'm just so used to saying them now. I don't think about the words anymore. Yeah. I feel like, yeah, I'm forgetting some, but.

Even like off the hook. Oh, yeah. Off the hook. Off the hook is crazy. Yeah. But then the ones that go the other way are weird too. Levity Live. Yeah. Yeah. Like you either got Looney Bin or Levity. Yeah. It's just a nice little reprieve. And then you got literal crazy house. Yeah. But I love Levity Live. I'm just giving a shout out to Levity Live. You want to plug a date there or something? Yeah.

It's like every time Brian finds a way to compliment the Church of Latter-day Saints, and then he plugs a date at Wiseguys. Jordan Cortijo. Cortijo.

I'm about the same level of shoe connoisseur as Mike James. Not a sneaker head, but I like myself a pair of Jordans. But I, like Mike, have a shoe availability issue because I wear size 14. I refuse to buy resale prices on StockX or other resellers because a size 10 shoe would be $200 and the size 14 would be $400 or more. So I've started buying replica shoes.

I'd be interested to hear what Mike thinks about replicas and if he ever dabbed, dabbled, or dabbed. Just assume I dabbed. Yeah. What do you think, Mike? Yeah, it sucks. Like, I tried to get some Jordans that came out Saturday, and it was like, as soon as I clicked it, because they go on sale at 10 o'clock. Yeah. As soon as I clicked it, at 10 o'clock, sold out. Just for your size? Just for my size. Why is that?

I don't know. You say what? Well, like when you click, where is it your purchase? Sneakers, the sneakers app. And it's just, you know, they only make so many 14s. It's not a common size. But do you think a disproportionate amount of size 14s care about shoes?

I bet if your feet are that big, you have to think about shoes more than like me or Brian. I don't think it, I don't think that I remember when I, when I used to, I used to work at a, a finish line. So when we get shipments in, it'll be like, you'll have in size nine, you may have like five or six pair, but in size 14, you may have one or two. Okay. Yeah. So it's, it's,

It's a size that not a lot of people have. So that's why they don't carry a big stock. Yeah. Is that tough for you, man? Sometimes. Like Saturday, my day was ruined. I didn't get my shoes. I was so mad.

Can you get them later? What was the shoe? The LeBron? Do you have the new LeBrons? Man, if you don't stop. The Jordan 4 C-Mints, the white C-Mints. LeBrons, man. I'm talking about a goat here, man.

Get the Aisha Currys. I got thrown off. What was the question? He just wants to know if you ever dabbled in replicas. If you've ever dabbed in replicas before. Replicas. He's saying he's buying. Look, you can't get the real McCoy. So let's just buy some fake ones. Might as well. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, sir. Don't do that. Don't do it. Jordan, don't you do it.

Don't you do it. Don't you get it? One of the hardest verbal beatings I've ever been a part of in my life was this kid in middle school showed up with Jordans and somebody looked at the Jordans and the Michael Jordan silhouette had shoelaces on. Oh, man. And this kid never heard the end of it. You show up with some fake Jordans. No, don't do that, dude. I'm just warning Jordan, man. I don't know how old you are.

I don't know who your friends are, but if they tell you anything other than what I'm saying, they're not your friend. Don't do this. Now you learned it. See? You're going to use that all the time. I am, dude. What do you think about my jersey? That's a fun jersey. I haven't seen that in a while, man. Breakfast on the back, 99 cents. How about that? We got somebody that sent those.

That's hanging up in my closet somewhere. We got it a while ago. I might break that jersey out again. Let me know next time. I'll wear it too. Okay. If you ever want to coordinate outfits on the podcast, let me know. We'll make it happen. There's a kid. There's a comic at Drew Harrison. Nashville comic. Yeah. We look alike. Same build. Yeah. Beard. I had long hair at one point. He's got long hair. We looked too similar. Mm-hmm.

And then one time in an open mic, we both showed up, Braves hat, Hawaiian shirt. Ugh. Both wearing it. That's crazy. And I grabbed him. I go, look, we got to coordinate this, dude. If you're wearing a Hawaiian to the mic, let me know. I won't wear one. That's so funny. Because he'll get off stage and they'll be like, man, this dude just came. He just got. Scott, they put him up again. Yeah, that's so weird. I've never seen that in a comedy show before. Do you remember Scott Neese? Yes. People, specifically Nate, used to say we looked alike.

And we were at, not the bar car. What's the one that came after the bar car?

Spankies. Spankies. That's another name you don't think about. It's crazy. We did comedy at Spankies. And Nate was like, that guy looks like you. He was kind of teasing me or whatever. I was like, no, we don't look that much alike. I ordered some food. They brought my food out and took it to his table and set it down. Oh my God.

Nate thought it was the funniest thing he saw all night. Dude, I guess I could see that. Like, I get Kev on stage all the time. Oh, I can see that. Like, literally today, my daughter saw something and thought it was me. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. I don't feel so bad now.

Yeah. I can see that. Yeah, if he had a hat on. Yeah, I get it. Similar facial hair too? Dude, like comments on. You thought about mixing it up? What? Just like looking different so that doesn't happen? No, I'm older. Yeah, he should change. He has to change. He's doing pretty well. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine.

It sucks, though, man, because it's like when you're at home on a Friday night, and then I look on Facebook, and I'll see like a tag, and Facebook will say, tag yourself on a flyer with Kev on stage. Oh, really? And it's like he's doing like a big show, and it's like, tag yourself in this. I'm like, no, I'm fine. I'm at home. He's got the shoes that you wanted to buy.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, dude, that would make me so mad. What's funny is there's another comedian named Mike James. There are two comedians named Mike James. Okay, I know one of them. One is, you know him? Yeah. The one in Virginia? No, I know the one in Phoenix.

Is one in Phoenix, too? Mm-hmm. He's got a dry bar. This guy, do you ever get confused with that, him? That's the one I was talking about. Okay, maybe he's moved, but I met him in Phoenix. What did I say, Virginia? Mm-hmm. I think you might be right. They're similar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's one... You got similar kind of vibes. I guess. You both have dry bars, too. Yeah, we both have dry bars. And then there's another guy, I think, in California named Mike James, because I'll get like...

I remember one day I got a text from Craig Robinson. And he was like, hey, man, you here? I was like, what are you talking about? Then he sends me a lineup at the Comedy Store. I'm like, was I supposed to be? Unknowingly booked at the Comedy Store. Did I forget that? It was another Mike James, dude. Wow. Yeah. There's also a former NFL running back and opioid. What's the opposite of abdicate?

Mike James, that's another guy. I've never heard of this guy. Former NFL player. There's a guy named Aaron Weber who I think invented the video game Sonic. Really? So every now and then, you know, you look up your own name, you see what's going on. It's just a bunch of Sonic stuff all the time. Yeah. There's a basketball player named Mike James, too. It's a common name. There's two basketball players named Mike James. LeBron James, I think. Yeah, that's close. We

We've talked about it before. As comics, you try a joke out on stage, crickets. Actually, Brian, this might be for you. But you know what is a joke? The prices some companies charge for razors. Harry's prices are no joke. They send the best quality razors right to your door for a fraction of the price of the big brands. And right now, you can get a $10 trial set for just $5. If my math is correct, that's a 50% discount.

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Get the shaving products that always deliver. Get Harry's. Normally, the trial set is $10. Right now, you can get it for just $5 at harrys.com slash nate. That's our exclusive link, harrys.com slash nate, for a $5 trial set. David Kiefer. Seven months ago, my wife underwent a double lung transplant at Ohio State Medical Center. Wow. It is absolutely false that hospitals withhold treatment from patients who are listed as organ donors.

There are too many people waiting for transplants, and I would hate to have the continuation of this myth cause good-hearted people from signing up as organ donors because they're afraid they would receive less than a hospital's best.

This is from Dusty. You could probably guess. Yeah, I was about to say, this doesn't sound... Dusty has a friend who said that if you're an organ owner, they may pull the plug quicker. They have less incentive to keep you alive. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because they want those organs. So when Dusty's not here, we like to correct some information.

And by friend, I mean TikTok. Yeah. Well, that's crazy, David. I hope your wife's doing well. Double lung transplant. Yeah. Yeah, that's wild. Both of them.

That's great. Yeah. But I'm an organ donor. So like, yeah. So if you're an organ donor, you just show up and they're like, Oh, like we really need that heart. Really? I have the flu. It's like, uh, like that's wild. Who knows, man? Yeah. Uh, yeah. Be an organ donor. I think it's great. Yeah. Yeah. Justin Fletcher. Ahoy folks.

Are we sure a cruise ship generates enough power for all the CPAP machines that'll be on board? Better make sure Aaron and Big Boat Bates aren't sharing a circuit. That's a good point. We got, I mean, I don't know if you talk about it in your act. We got another CPAP user here on the podcast. Yeah. The three of us hooked up. Definitely have to bring mine. Are you going on the cruise? Yeah. We got three CPAPs. How about that? You want to share a hose? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

The power's going to go out of the ship because we're going to blow the breaker. I'll bring the distilled water, boys. Let's party. Do you use distilled water? You know what? Depending on the season, I'm a dry sleeper most of the time. Are you? Really? Nothing in the humidifier. I turn the humidifier off. Wow. I'm a man. I power through it. I haven't always been good about that, but lately I've been buying this distilled water. Sometimes I'll just fill it up from the sink.

Okay. If you're on the road, you can use bottled water, but I think long-term tap water, it messes everything up. Yeah, I've never used tap water. I'll use bottled water. Okay. Well, yeah. We should have done an episode on CPAPs because we could pivot. Yeah. That's a hobby of mine. We should bring all of ours and compare them on the ship. What kind do you have? Is that a 5,000? Come on.

I'm trying to get the AirSense 11. Dude, I just want them to stop. They got to change the bag, though. Like, that's so embarrassing. The bag? Yeah. Oh, that you carry with you? Yeah. That's why I put it in my backpack. I don't even have it out on its own because I don't want to be carrying it. I look old. I just walk through there. I think we also, now that you know what it looks like. You're like, oh, never mind. It was a good day.

I'm sorry, Grandpa. Didn't see your bag there. Didn't see your breathing machine there. Justin Schultz, a question for the four of you.

Do you find dirty comedy funny? I ask because you're all clean comedians. Is there a limit for you when you're listening to someone else? I can't listen to F-bombs every other word, so I was curious. I remember Nate saying, if you're going to be a clean comedian, you need to keep your everyday speech clean as well. I'll answer for me first. Yeah, some of my favorite comedians are

unbelievably filthy. Uh, and I love it. And I like, I really like all kinds of comedy. Um, just cause I do a particular kind doesn't mean I can't like the other stuff. I mean, some of my best friends in, in comedy or stuff they say on stage is insane. Um,

And I hear it every night and I'm desensitized to it now. You just like, until you have, like, I remember at a month, my dad opened for somebody who was not clean comic and my dad wanted to come to the show. And I was like, just a heads up. Yeah.

You've only seen me open for Henry Cho and Emo Phillip. That's going to be a little different. This show is going to be a little different. And I didn't even notice how dirty this guy was until I'm watching. Oh, yeah. And I was like, oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah.

But no, I love it. I love that comic. It's just, it's just not what I do, but it doesn't mean everybody has to do it. You know, what do you think? Yeah, I agree. I mean, my favorite comics are mostly clean comics cause you kind of tend to gravitate for the people that are doing what you want them to do. But in saying that, yeah, some of the funniest comics I know are, are dirty comics and, uh,

I certainly find that offstage, there's no correlation between being a better person and being a clean comment. Yeah. Some of the best people I know are filthy on stage. Exactly. Vice versa. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what would I consider myself? You're who you need to be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to need to be. No, you're just, it's a good example of like, you don't, you don't,

much about it. You're just kind of yourself. Yeah. Right. I think Richard, I mean, Richard Pryor is my favorite comedian. He was clean? No. It was at one point, but it went kind of left. Is your act much different with Godfrey than you say with Nate? Depends. You use different words? Yeah. Sometimes. You say Fidna? Fidna. Fidna.

Talking like that anyway. You say fixin' too on Nate's shows, but... Oh, yeah. Let me enunciate a little. I say learn it. I'm a little learned. I'll show you guys I've been learned. Yeah. Yeah, man. It's...

I think comedy is comedy. If you're just being funny, I really don't care as long as what you're doing makes... It's creative. Yeah, it's creative. You're not just saying stuff to say it. Yeah. Exactly. I remember at one point my two favorite comics were Dave Attell and Brian Regan. They just could not be more opposite. Whole opposites. So Aaron, we did that Zany's All-Star show here last weekend. And then you stuck around for the Dark and Dirty show. That's right. How different was your act from...

I did the same act. I just had a little bit different energy because that crowd was rowdy. Yeah. And it took me back. I used to do shows like that all the time where you're kind of fighting for your life. Yeah. And I don't know. I've gotten spoiled lately where the crowds have been good most places that it kind of took me back. I was like, oh, yeah, I don't care that I'm up here. I got to really got to work for it. Yeah. Now you can do I can do shows like that. We can all do shows like that. And they don't even notice. It's funny. Comedy is comedy. Yeah. Yep.

Todd Weinberg. Can you all give some advice on wedding speeches? Oh, I love this. My brother is hopefully getting married soon, and I want to give a speech at the wedding that has a bit of humor in it, but I have no idea what I'm doing. Probably a five to eight minute speech, if that helps. Yeah, I have a few things. I used to work at a country club here.

In the Nashville area. I've seen a lot of wedding speeches. And then the weddings that I've been in. So I've seen a lot of this. I think a pet peeve of mine. And I wonder if y'all have noticed this. People tend to.

talk about writing the speech in the speech. Well, yeah, that happens all when I sat down to write this, I didn't know when to always talk about, yeah, just kind of don't do that. You're doing the speech. You don't need to tell the story about the speech.

Just kind of get into it. I'll say my instinct is five to eight minutes is super long. Yeah, that is long. That is a long, long time. Longer than you probably think it is. Especially if you don't normally get in front of people and talk. Yeah. Nobody ever is going to say, man, that speech was too short. Uh-uh.

Say what you want to say. Say something. I would say a funny story and then something sincere. Get out of there. Get out of there. It's not about you. It's about your brother. And no matter how well the speech goes, you're not going to be the star of the show. And I know you're not trying to be. I know you're just trying to.

give a good speech to support and honor your brother and everything. But I say the shorter, the better. One funny story, one sincere statement. Get on out of there. Cut the cake. Don't do, do not do five to eight. Don't try to do it. Don't try to force it. Light me at eight. I'll wrap it up. Three to five. Yeah, not even. I would say. Two to four. Yeah, two to four is a good. That's the kind of pocket you want to be in on that. Uh-huh.

Yeah, two to four minutes. When you and I started here at Zany's, three minutes was what you got. Oh, yeah. I started out. And you hear that at first. You're like, ugh. Like, three minutes, that's it? That's all I did? Not even enough to say my name. I've seen some long. I've gotten off early. I've seen some. Yeah, yeah. Dude.

I've seen some 45-minute, three-minute sets. I'll tell you that. It felt like a lifetime. Did you ever see a three-minute set where I got up early? Oh, my gosh. They didn't even give me the light yet? Three-minute set, light at one. And I get off. They light you at one minute? As soon as he walked up there, he's like, how's everybody doing? Give him the light. We know where this is going. You got a light at a minute?

I don't know. We did three-minute sets. I don't think they gave us a light at three. Do you remember? I don't know, dude. That used to be terrible. I feel like it used to be three-minute sets and seven-minute sets. No, I don't know if you remember it, but it was 90-second sets, three minutes, five, then seven. Okay, I don't remember the 90-second. Yeah, I remember the 90-second one. I didn't do the 90-second one.

But yeah, three. Were you going to lie at 90 seconds? I don't even, that's crazy. Before you come out of the green room? I did a 90 second set auditioning for America's Got Talent. Huge ballroom. One British guy at a table. How'd it go? It was horrible. 90 seconds. He's British. I didn't even know what I was talking about. And he's just looking at you. Sure, it was his fault. He goes, that was great. That was great. And then never heard from him again. And I shouldn't have been heard. It was terrible. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't care for those kind of auditions. Have you ever given a best man speech or a speech at a wedding or anything like that? Yeah, yeah. How'd it go? What advice do you have for Todd Weinberg? Like, I think you hit on every point. Make it.

a funny story, one funny story, don't keep going. Don't try to top yourself. If it doesn't, if it, if the story you tell doesn't get any laughs, don't worry about that. If it doesn't get laughs, hey, it wasn't meant to be funny. Yeah. Don't try to. As long as it's not offensive. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't say something the bride's going to be upset about. Right, right, right. And just, if it's not funny, that's fine. Just keep going and don't, it's not expected for you to be funny. Yeah. So just do it and,

And then say something sincere. Get out of there. I think ideal structure for it, you tell one quick story about your relationship with that person from...

You know, that tells something about them and then tie it in with a story about their relationship with the bride or whoever, you know, you were, you were crazy, whatever. But I've, I've seen her kind of, I don't know, something about her. Yeah. And then you get out of there and then you end with a toast. What if he hasn't met her though? What's that? What if he's never met her?

The groom? Well, he's never met the bride. Oh, they said, what if the groom's never met the bride? Then I don't know why they're doing speeches. Different kind of wedding. Well, he can talk about maybe how his friend has changed or he's seen how she's benefited him. Yeah, it's hard to imagine. You also can just lie. If you're close enough in the relationship to do a speech at a wedding that you would have never met the bride. Yeah. It's possible. I got one I just wrote for John Crist. If he ever...

He has to marry Lydia. Oh, it's not going to work? I guess I could just insert another girl. No, it's specifically about him and Lydia. Okay. Do you want to say it now or do you want to keep it in your pocket? I'll keep it in my pocket. Not that John's going to probably allow me to get close enough at his wedding to give a speech. I mean, after the way you handled him at the roast, I don't think you're speaking at his eventual wedding. Probably not. Yeah.

Probably not. But Aaron, you're getting ready to do... It already happened when this comes out, but South Bend. Yeah. Are you nervous about going back to your old college? Oh, yeah. A little bit. I'm less nervous...

I'm doing the Notre Dame reunion this year, but I did it last year for my class. Yeah. That's scary. So this year, it's different graduating classes. Yeah. So I'm not going to know these people. I might know a couple from the class of 2015, but...

Everybody else, it's a whole new crop of people. Yeah, that's a lot less pressure. Doing it last year was like, these are all people I went to. I know these people, and then I'm bombing. And they're like, this is what you're doing? I'm a doctor. I'm a lawyer, and you're doing this? Do you feel like you were bombing, or do you just... Because we have a different perception. It was a tough setup in the room. So it was kind of an impossible...

situation for it to be like a great show yeah but they were fine it wasn't i wasn't like embarrassing myself yeah i just wish the setup was better and now it is going to be better this year so i'm way less concerned about it did you write specific jokes about learning yeah i'd make a couple comments here and there but i'm just gonna do my act you ever done shows like your church or yeah i just um i host for uh

the marriage conference. At your church? Yeah. I've been doing it for like the last two years. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. It's Mount Zion. Is that scary? Yes. Because Mount Zion is like the, that's like the biggest church, biggest black church in Nashville. Dude, I did a show at Mount Zion once. I think it's the biggest church period. Really? With, did Ron Ron run a show there? I don't know. He may have. Run a show at church? He may have. Sell tickets? Yeah.

Does Ron Ron go to your church?

I don't know. There's so many campuses. How big is this church? There are four different campuses. Okay. There's one in Brentwood. It was not that one. One in Antioch. This was in Antioch. And there's one in Antioch. I've been to the one in Antioch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, actually, yeah, I forgot what it was for. It was a funeral that you and I were both at. Oh, yeah, yeah, for Chris Taylor. Yeah, yeah. That was in Antioch. Yeah. But Bishop Walker is like a...

Oh, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know Bishop Walker? I mean, I did Chuckles at the Chapel one year that I think he was a part of. Okay. B-Cubs, B-Cubs go to your church?

I don't know. Do all black people go to the same church? No. Or do you have different? We have different churches. Okay. Y'all are different. Yeah, we spread out. I know it's a shock. When you get drafted, will your pastor be there behind you? When you say what? On the couch when you get drafted for whatever sport? See, this is why I have to be here. You guys, I can make, now you guys can be learned as well on culture. That's right.

So it's four different campuses, which is crazy when you think about it. He does four services. Oh, he's at all of them? All of them. Oh, I didn't know that. Do you take a helicopter between services? Every Sunday, he does. How does he do that? I don't know, dude. Four different services. The original one's on Jefferson Street, right? Yeah, he does that one too. Wow. Yeah. I did. Ron Ron booked me on a show at Mount Zion Church. I made a mistake. I showed up on time. Mm-hmm.

Huge mistake. So I stood there for a while. I watched almost all of the service. So it was a service followed by a show. Oh, so I'm,

Only white guy in the room. Yeah. They start the comedy show. A couple people... Did they ask you what you were doing there? No, no. People were cool. No. I think I told them. Get him! But right before I went up... Like he's inspecting. Yeah. I'm here to shut this place down. Y'all are above fire code right now. Right before I went up, they...

They brought people on stage to do, I think they called it a step off where they were dancing. And it was like a competition between like four of them. Step show. Step show. But it was worship. They asked you to step off. It was worship. It was like they played like a hymn and they were up there dancing. And they called me up. What? And I got to go next. You got to step?

I did a step off at this all black church. I danced. You did a step. Is there a video? They probably went crazy. I remember thinking I've got two options here. Do I kind of play it cool and like not dance or do I just go all out? And that's, and that's what I did. I did. I went all out dancing, but,

the most out of my comfort zone i've ever been good for you and it it was murder yeah yeah yeah and then i immediately went from that they just handed me the mic and i started my oh good so i was like y'all take notes yeah i just went just see that that's perfect yeah uh and it was great but i i never you know i'm catholic we're doing the opposite of that oh yeah we're taking a knee and chanting latin and you know being sad

I'm just kidding about the last part. About being sad? Yeah, yeah. Well. It's just a Catholic mass is solemn, I guess is the right word. Oh. Solemn, and this was not solemn. This was people literally dancing. Exciting. It was an experience.

Still one of the most fun shows I've ever done. I told John he needs to come to John Crist to come to my church and bring him. Oh, and perform? No, I'm just going to bring him just to service. Oh, just to... Yeah, y'all should all come to my church. I would love it. Yeah, you should come to service. Yo, Mount Zion, we out here. Oh, my God.

John Crist here. What up, Mount Zion? Yeah, he takes his phone in the church service and he's making videos while it's going on. Yo, that is the funniest John Crist impression. What up, Mount Zion? We are rolling into town.

Hey, man. Hey, check your heart, dude. What's that? You do some pretty good impressions, dude. That's funny. Aaron legitimately does. Yeah, he does, man. I have a running joke where I do impressions that are terrible. No, Brian can actually do. Have you heard Brian do impressions? Yeah, I've heard them. I wasn't sure he was doing impressions. Sneaky good. Give him one. Lawrence Fishburne, maybe something like that. Do Lawrence Fishburne. Okay. This is Lawrence Fishburne. Fishburne.

Boys in the Hood. Oh, man. You don't want to mess this one up. I need those. Don't mess this one up. I want to know where this is going. You did what? Most of those standardized tests are biased, except the math portion, the math universe. Are you doing the impression now? Yeah. Oh, okay.

You couldn't tell? No. I was nailing it. I thought you were doing you. No, that was Lawrence Fishburne. I thought that was a disclaimer before. Right. I thought he was doing Bates telling us what he was about to say. Like, these are the words I'm going to use as Lawrence Fishburne.

Go ahead. All right. Well, dude. Okay. Should I do Lawrence Fishburne from the Matrix? No, no. I think I know how you'll do Lawrence Fishburne. Do you have any other impressions? I can do anybody. Don Cheadle in Crash. Let's hear that. I don't. I'm just kidding. Or can you do Denzel? Oh, that's a good one. I saw Denzel act in person, by the way. Wait, where? Jake Gyllenhaal, too. What? Othello in New York City.

What? What? I thought you were going to say you're an extra in John Q or something. Did you see Othello? Yeah. It was Denzel Washington and Jake Gyllenhaal. Why wouldn't I? Me and my wife went. How was it? Oh, it was amazing. Yeah, I bet. Jake Gyllenhaal. It was like Zoe Zaldana. She was there. Oh, okay. She was like two rows ahead. That's why you went. I didn't even know she was going. I was with my wife, guys.

So, no, it was an amazing... Were you in Drumline or was that just Renard? That was Renard. Yeah. She was in that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Right, but where were you going with... Oh, this is Denzel Washington from Training Day. Okay. Training Day. Okay. Wait, what scene? What scene? The very end. The very end where he's going crazy. Where, in this scene, because I want to set you guys up...

His partner, Jake, has taken the money. Yes. And he's leaving with it now. And he's out of options. Okay. And the people in this neighborhood have turned on him. Yeah, we get it. Ready? Oh, I'm putting probation on all of you. All right, good. Let me tell you. No, I'm not done. I know, I know. But let me, I'm going to just give you some notes. Okay. Like, because it sounds. I don't have a pen, but go ahead. Tell me if I'm wrong, but this sounds exactly like.

the way you just described the scene. Like it was, right? It was the same voice. I'm a nuanced actor. But I wasn't done. Okay, I'm sorry. You're right.

King Kong. Oh, man. Come on. I'm me. Come on. What are you talking about? That was even worse. What are you talking about? I feel like Denzel's in the room. What are you talking about? Oh, my gosh. All right. I don't even. Oh, that was awesome. Pretty much. Yeah, it was awesome. We could do that. Let's make that a weekly segment. Moving on.

Thank you for that, Brian. Brian's impressions. All right. Yeah. Honestly, Todd Weinberg, just do that during your wedding. Yeah. Just do a Denzel impression. Yeah. Yeah. Do a Brian Bates doing a Denzel impression. They'll know what it is. They'll get it. They'll go, was that a Brian? Was that a Brian? They'll be like, I think that was a B-Bate special. Jordan Penley.

was listening to some Seinfeld commentary tonight and heard Jerry say it's very hard to have a beard and be funny. I feel like this is putting him in a pinch. Agree or disagree? Agree. Brian, do you have an opinion about this? I might want to try a beard, honestly. Switch it up.

that's a little dude i'm called for yeah i mean if nothing else you can fall back on the impressions have you ever had a beard have you ever tried to grow one now the only thing i did during covid for like all right the mustache two or three weeks i well i had a goatee and then i shaved it off did you take a picture uh i made a video of it a whole video i do but i missed that one

Oh, I wish, oh, I gotta go back and look at it. I made a video of future me coming back to talking to him. Did you really? Yeah. Oh, do you, you still got it up? Yeah. I gotta go, I gotta go look at it. Yeah. That's funny. You and, you, that would be fun. But that was the- It didn't look good, I'll say that. Really? Totally gray. That was the conventional thinking for a long time, is that stand-up comedians shouldn't have beards.

They shouldn't conceal anything about their face. The idea was for the same reason, I think J.D. Vance is the first politician in like a hundred years that's had a beard because apparently there's science to back this up that you present as more

honest and trustworthy the less you're concealing about your face so the conventional thinking used to be no hat no long hair no big glasses no beard no eyebrows and also dusty that's what i'm saying that's the that's the conventional i think it i think it's changed i think like i don't know the world's just different i don't think people care about that yeah anymore but but there are some guys who um

a lot of what makes them funny is like the facial expressions and stuff and the way they look so you shouldn't cover that up if that's part of your part of your thing there's a good argument if you watch uh louis ck and seinfeld on comedians and cars getting coffee they argue about this specifically because louis has a beard and seinfeld asked him about it so that's interesting i i've never um

I've never even considered that. Well, there are some comics you see them in local shows, and they wear a hat, and it's casting a shadow on their face. You can't see their face at all. See, I wear a hat, but I wear mine up. You got to wear it up so that they can see your face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like you might as well walk out there with a skin mask on at some point. That's weird. Yeah, I'm aware of it, so I usually have it to the side anyways. But yeah, that's interesting. Mm-hmm.

Garon Dombrowski. Garon Dombrowski. I lost it when Bates said that Alaska has a lower population per capita than Vermont. That's like saying they have less people per people. Wait, what? I think he meant they have the lowest population per acre. Surprised Aaron didn't catch it. Love the podcast. Keep up the great work, guys.

Yeah, that's very low population per capita. Yeah. Yeah, Gary is correct when I was getting at it. I think you do that. Yeah, you meant... In the moment. Yeah. Some things you just let slide. Yeah. Vermont is... No, Wyoming is the smallest or the least populous state, period. We learned this last week. You talking about with black people? No, with people people. Oh, okay.

Hold on. Hold on, Brian. Back up. Wait, hold on. What did you say? I just caught you. You talking about black people? Nah, nah, nah. Real people? Yeah, yeah. I didn't even catch that. What do you mean? I'm like, and I'm just sitting there like, oh, yeah. All people matter. Yeah. People, people. No. All people. Yeah, just in general. Yeah.

Yeah, okay. But Alaska's so big that it's the fewest people accounting for how big the state is. They have one black person. There is in the whole, yeah. In Vermont? In Alaska. And he runs a jewelry store in Ketchikan. That's the only one y'all saw. Jay Flake met him. That's wild. All right. Come on, Alaska. All right. Support for today's episode comes from Square. I love Square. I've been using them for years.

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Yeah, I did a little. Do you agree with that? Do you think people should have hobbies? Yes. Because I know a lot of people that don't. There are a lot of people that go to work, they go home. That's it, dude. What I learned was it's a relatively new thing as far as since people have been around. Because throughout most of history, you couldn't. You didn't have time to sit around and twiddle your thumbs. White people have been doing it for the last couple hundred years. Mike's probably the first one.

What's that? Wait, what am I missing here? Back up, back up, people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just saying throughout history, people have not been able to have the luxury of having a hobby. They're working or they're just trying to provide for their family. The idea of having time to kill is a relatively new human experience. The word hobby came from hobby horse. Yeah.

which you guys know what a hobby horse is. I don't, I never heard of it. It's a, it's a little toy horse that, uh,

It's that hobby horse and competition popped up automatically. That's a hobby horse? People compete at this. You've seen a hobby horse, right? I have seen this. It's like a little broom with a horse at the end of it. Right. And it was designed for a child to mimic riding a real horse. And then the word hobby kind of suggests anything that's a childish pursuit. So if you're doing something that people think is, you know, what are you doing? They called it a hobby, like a hobby horse. Wow. That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah.

It does not have a good connotation. No. Not originally, but then by – that was 17th century, 18th century. They said by then things had – all of a sudden it starts becoming cool. Right, right. Yeah, and it's a luxury to have the time to do whatever. So you asked if everyone should have a hobby. Yeah, I think so. There's a – I'll jump ahead. This is, I guess, a TikTok thing's going on now. The five hobby rule.

It's a personal development strategy suggests cultivating five different types of hobbies to achieve a well-rounded and fulfilling life. These hobbies are categorized as one to make money, one to keep you physically healthy, one to foster creativity, one to expand your knowledge and one to build social connections. So for me, I think one to make money, like I have, I mean, I think when I first started standup comedy, uh,

I probably thought of it more as a hobby. Of course. You started as a hobby too?

I started with the intention of making it my job, but it wasn't. I had a full-time job for years when I did it. Right, but I mean, I'm saying, though, when you started, you didn't look at it like, I'm going to just do this just for fun. Like, you had a goal. No, I wanted to do it, do it. So you looked at it like it was just a hobby, though. I mean, I didn't believe in myself enough. I took a Rick Roberts stand-up comedy class. I thought, this is just something fun to do. Okay. And then I enjoyed it and kept going and kept going. So I can't honestly say I thought when I started that,

you know i'd be doing it for a career what about you yeah i mean when i started doing stand-up when i realized i wanted to do it yeah it was not a hobby i was but either you have a hobby that you've made money from no no no yeah i think that might be the hardest one that's the hardest one for sure on this list from a hobby oh yeah that's i'm trying to think even what those are right because if you do art it's not your hobby

All right. Yeah. We're lucky our job is also a great creative outlet. Yes. Right. In some ways. And so we're lucky in that way. Yeah. You know? One, to keep you physically healthy. Definitely. I do. Well, let me, I'd love to talk about that. I do a lot of that. But what they consider hobbies on some of these lists I saw, I'm like, is that a hobby? What's considered a hobby? Walking. Like pets. Yeah.

Having a pet is a hobby? Some of these lists I saw, like one of the most popular hobbies is having a pet. I'm like, that's just your life, right? If you have a dog, you're not – Your life. Did you think he said wife too? I thought he said wife. I was like, wait, hold on, dude. I'm trying to get me in so much trouble. What are you doing here? I think he did say wife. Because I –

I was doing my impression. That's like having a wife. Just sits around the house taking up space. Got to let it out of the house every few hours. What a waste. I got a lot of people to apologize to. I thought we were a little more progressive than this. Well, you thought wrong. Thanks for having me. People, people. Yeah.

And my wife. I love it. No, life. Yeah, it's just, I don't think of pets as a hobby. But I think sports. It's like a chore almost. Sports that you don't play professionally can be considered a hobby. Yeah, pick up basketball. So that's physical activity. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Walking, hiking, riding bikes, that kind of thing. I never considered that a hobby though. Like working out. Yeah, I didn't either. So I never considered that a hobby.

Even playing basketball, I look at it like it's just fun. For me, it's a way of life. You don't even think it's fun? Less of a hobby. Not now. I used to. And now it's so physically taxing. I'm literally just doing it for cardio. Right. It's working out. Yeah. Exactly. It's for health. Yeah. I guess. You were into hiking for a while. I don't know. Maybe you still are.

I've done it less since the baby, but I used to do it all the time. Once or twice a week, I'd hike somewhere. On the road almost every weekend, I find a place to hike. Like Dusty, he birdwatches. Wouldn't that be considered... That's a hobby. Or Joe Zimmerman. Joe Zimmerman. He does it too. It's the ultimate. Yeah. So it's like... Um...

One to foster creativity. Yeah. Who made this? What is this list from? I think from TikTok. The five hobby rules. It's solid. Oh, it's people making videos, what their hobbies are for those five. I don't know who originally came up with this, but some psychologist or something said, this is what you need for a well-rounded life. Okay. One to expand your knowledge. That'd be like taking a foreign language or something like that. Okay. You were going to do that. Yeah.

I was for a while. Yeah. Yeah. I do. I really leaned into English. You do what? Duolingo. What's that? Um, it's like, it's like babble. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. What do you learn? Spanish. Really? Do you speak it? No, I wouldn't say I'm like, uh, yeah, I would say, uh, Rosie Perez. Do, uh, Benicio del Toro in, uh,

Sicario. Just say something in Spanish. I don't know. Como esta? Como esta? You need to get your money back. His Spanish is worse than his impression. I'm trying to think. It's like that to English. Imagine this is conversation. How are you?

Listen, it takes me a while. Now, listen, I'm on day like 265 or something like that. You've been doing this a year? No, 265. I mean, that's two thirds of a year. But you got to understand, I only do like one lesson a day.

You might need to up it to two. I might need to. You can't answer how are you doing. I gave you the simplest phrase there was. It's not that I can't. It just takes me a second. Yeah. Like I have to. Donde estas? Donde estas? So this is how I, so you know how I have to break this down in my head. Donde, I have to do it word by word. Where? Yeah. Okay. And you said donde estas? Yeah. Where am I? Yeah. Okay. Where are you from? Okay. Yeah. Oh, you want me to answer it?

L Nashville. I know what you mean. That's usually where it stops for me. I don't really... I'm from Nashville, Tennessee. How'd you say, I'm from Nashville, Tennessee? There you go. You just said it. I'd say... Soy de Nashville.

You know, it's too much stress. You guys are doing it. We really put you on the spot. You can't bring up. I mean, I did a perfect Denzel. So you did that. You can't just throw around. Hey, I'm multilingual on the Nate land podcast. No, I said I'm doing duolingual. Well, this is a hobby to enrich your, uh, your alert. You're trying to be learned. Yeah. I'm trying to be learned in,

in Espanol. No. Aaron, you were going to learn auctioneering. Really? I was trying to get the... I forgot about it. I need to go back. Why? Because I love the way an auctioneer talks. Isn't it fun? You ever listen to... And I wanted to learn how to do it. I thought that would be a fun thing to pull out. Also, if I could talk like an auctioneer, I would write a bit where I did that. Hell yeah. Just so I could use it. I actually met...

an auctioneer in spokane washington and i was like hit me with a little and she i mean it's it's so it was a woman oh yeah you ever listen to ball thugs in harmony what do you think i watched the guy he would go you got to go one one and a quarter one and a half one and

one one and a quarter I always I forgot how it went see but I really worked on it for a while see and that's how I feel about Spanish mhm muy pequeño mmm I just watched see see like you can always fall back on that see like if you don't understand what somebody's saying that's what I do you just look like you're really pondering it like mmm no see see see see

It's beautiful. We'll need translations on the bottom of the screen. Yeah, put subtitles. Yeah, for that. What is this, Narcos? Oh, I was watching Conan O'Brien. That's what I'm going to watch. Conan O'Brien just received the Mark Twain prize. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was watching it. At the end, he had Auctioneer come out. He had so many people who wanted to think, but he didn't have much time. So he had Auctioneer read it. Oh, that's funny. That's really funny. Yeah.

And then the last one is to build social connections. What would that be? Like joining a book club or something? That's what I do.

Well, I mean, I ain't joined a book club. I'm saying. No, I would never do that. You took Duolingo with a class? No. Actually, I started doing it because my son was doing it. And then, I mean, that's actually why. So you could talk to him? Yeah. Well, no. Or you could experience it together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm like, oh, okay, this is cool. Something we can, you know what I mean? Dad, you never talked to me in English. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we were actually in Cancun last year.

And he started doing it, so that's when I started. Well, a lot of these can overlap, right? Like I can say golf. You got a group of guys you play golf with. That's the communal aspect of it. And then maybe you're walking a lot playing golf. That's the physical aspect of it. Yep, L-Golf. And you're losing money from it. I'm not sure that that was right. What do you mean? I said L-Golf.

I'm not sure that's the Spanish translation. El golf. El golf. Golfo. El golf. Golfo. In high school, I took Latin. Oh. Me too. Two years of Latin. There's real... Especially for what I do, there's no real purpose. Why Latin? Just because my friends were. And it's supposed to... You can only be a lawyer or a doctor or something. Yeah, yeah. So my friends were. So I'm like, I don't...

but but i never knew any spanish and so when i was an adult i took adult classes to learn spanish

And for a while I got into it, but that was 20 years ago. Oh, yeah. And I remember nothing now. It doesn't keep. You've got to get in it. No. It's not like riding a bike. No. Not at all. It's El Golf. El Golf. Yeah. I don't hear how it's pronounced. You're fluent. How about this? How about this? Golf. Golf. El Golf. This guy's learned it. Uh-huh. El learned it. Golf.

Oh, that's how you say it. Okay, the first one I played was English. So it goes from to to. Who? Golf. Golf. He's got to say it with a little pizzazz. El golf. El golf. I just hit you with something. Boy, I'll apply. Hugar means to play.

Really? How about that? Wow. To play golf. Imagine if you talk like that. Hey, to play golf. Just leave it there. Yes. I am from Nashville. I am Aaron. To play golf. Hoogar. Huh?

You want me to translate that? No, I'm just saying if you talked in English the way you're talking in Spanish. Oh, yeah. Sometimes it gets lost in translation, but you got to learn. See, that's why you don't know Spanish. If you knew Spanish, you would know what I'm saying. You're right. That's on you, Aaron. Yeah. Our next sponsor, you know we love, Delete Me. Aaron usually reads Delete Me, but they don't love him. So they said, Brian, you take over. They deleted me. Yeah.

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Have you ever been a victim of identity theft? Mm-hmm. Harassment? Oh, yeah. Doxing? Every day. If you haven't, you probably know someone who has. I don't even know what doxing is, to be honest with you. That's where they put your personal info on the internet, like your address gets leaked or something. Oh, I'd love that. I know a few people in my life that were victim of identity theft.

It's a nightmare. He just wants info about you out there. I just need to get some word out. Get some tickets. I don't know if doxing translates to ticket sales, but if it does, I'll stop using delete me. I'll tell you that. Well, okay.

But take control of your data and keep your private life private by signing up for Delete Me. Now at a special discount for our listeners, get 20% off your Delete Me plan when you go to joindeleteme.com slash Nate and use promo code Nate at checkout. The only way to get 20% off is to go to joindeleteme.com slash Nate and enter code Nate at checkout. That's joindeleteme.com slash Nate, code Nate. All right. The average hobby lasts 16 months. Wow.

To me, that seems like a long time. If I did something for 16 months, I think I'd probably just keep going. Right. But it says that people have work commitments, busy family life, and lack of motivation is the primary reasons they stop doing whatever it is they're doing. Learning a musical instrument is one of the main ones or the top ones where someone starts and doesn't. Golf could be considered one, right?

Oh, for sure. I know a lot of people that bought golf clubs thinking they're going to get into it and then see how hard it is. Same with a musical instrument. I never learned an instrument as a kid. A few years ago, I was at Target. There was a little Casio keyboard for $80. And I thought, maybe I'm Mozart. Don't even know it. Take it home. You got that? And I bought it. And I am not...

How hard did you try? I wanted to learn the Charlie Brown Christmas songs. Oh, God. That's a pretty hard one. But you can go online and it'll show you all the keys. So I did learn. I put little stickers on all the keys and memorized it. What did you do with that? With that? Yeah. You got rid of it? Oh, the keyboard itself? It's at my mom's house. So when my daughter goes there, she likes to turn it on and play. That's so funny, though.

Okay. Yeah, that's a keyboard. I was going to try to play the Charlie Brown thing. Do you know it, bro? Yeah. Go ahead. Well, I can't find one where you can play with the keyboard. I'll find it. That's interesting. So far, my impressions might have been bad. Your Spanish was worse, but that's the worst shit you've played. Oh, what are you talking about? I thought my Spanish was okay. I'm telling you off the top of my head. What did you just download?

Yeah, no, my Spanish is, it's bien. All right, let's, all right, here's some TV movie, TV and movie characters that have hobbies, famous hobbies from TV shows. Okay. This is from a movie. Andy from The 40-Year-Old Virgin collecting vintage toys. You guys seen that movie? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He did.

That's weird.

What? Oh, no. I'm just thinking about how his setup looked. His house? Yeah. Yeah. His toys everywhere. Yeah. I'm thinking about mine. Go ahead. And he kept them in the boxes so they're make addition. You got to. Now, he didn't start doing that with the intention to make money, but he ends up making a ton of money with it. Oh, yeah. At the end. Yeah. Right. I didn't even think about this. Good point. Did you guys watch The Sopranos? Yes. Bobby Bacala. He was into model trains. Bobby. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I forgot about that. Yeah.

You remember that? I've never seen that. That's one of the, there's some hobbies that for some reason are seen as like embarrassing. Yeah.

model trains one of them i don't find it embarrassing but it's one that people make fun of really yeah grow men that collect that do model train stuff i'm trying to think of other ones that what about collectibles like the one i just mentioned yeah star wars like uh what are those little they're like bobble heads but they're oh yeah pop it i got a buddy that that has a whole room full of those what are they called pop something pop it yeah something

Those pop heads or something. Yeah. Pop heads. All these pop heads out here. What are those called? You don't know what I'm talking about? Huh? Plinko. Plinko is a game on the price is right. Oh, those we like those things. Yeah. Yeah. But thank you so much for sending this.

While we're on the topic. That's very cool. I was just trying to remember what Derek called him. He said Plinko.

Yeah, no, I have a buddy that has a whole room full of those. Of what? Those little characters. That we don't know what they're called? Yeah. Yeah. Funko Pops. Funko Pops, yeah. That's what they're called. Yeah, I got a buddy that got a whole room full of them. So Plinko's actually not far off. Plinko, yeah, you're close. You're chasing an apology. All right. I didn't watch Star Trek The Next Generation, but apparently Captain Picard was into building ships in a bottle.

Really? At least as a kid he was. Yeah. Picard. Is that with Professor X? That's Patrick Stewart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Professor X. The Wire. Did you guys watch The Wire? Yep. Wee Bay. He was really into Phish. He was into Phish. I forgot about that. Yeah. What'd you say? He's into the band Phish? Yeah, he loved them. They were his favorite. He loved playing it through Baltimore streets.

here's some like real life celebrities that have a hobby justin bieber the rubik's cube here's what i didn't know this and i've rubik's cube's been around as long as i've been a kid i call it rubik's cube like it's a guy named rubik and he has a cube no i call it a cube that i call rubik rubik cube

Oh, it's the X. Rubik's Cube. It's possessive. There is a Rubik's. There's a guy named Rubik. It's his cube. Wow. Rubik's? The cube of Rubik. I think I would have just done it R-U-B-I-K. I don't think I would have done a post-free S. I don't believe that Justin Bieber is sitting around doing the Rubik's Cube.

I'm not saying that you're lying. Yeah. I'm saying you have bad information. I think the root excuse is that's so narcissistic. Like, why do we have to call it like this for everybody? Well, he invented it. I know. That's like what Lou Gehrig did with that disease. Right. Like, it's all about you.

Remember that drink they used to have here at Zany's called the Mike James? Oh, that's true. That's true. There was a drink here at Zany's Comedy Club, Wonky's Comedy Club, named after Mike James. He insisted on it. He threw a fit until they...

Put it on the menu. They finally put it on the menu. Mike James grabbed the owner by the neck, and he goes, listen, I don't know if you've noticed, I'm a bit of a thing around here now. I'd like to walk in and go, I'll have the me. That's hilarious. And so they added, you were literally on the menu when it started. Mike James, what is it again? It's like a strawberry daiquiri or something? Yep, that's it. Precisely. What is it? Grenadine. It's been so long since I, I really don't even remember. Rum, rum, something. It was, um.

so rock red berry okay red bull and cranberry juice that's what it was okay it's called the mike james now if i go in there tonight can i go in there and get a mike james you think you know what it is yeah well i don't know maybe tiffany would tiffany would yes she's made a bunch of mike jameses yeah if you go to third coast comedy club in nashville you can get the aaron weber special what's that on the menu diet coke and m&ms what it's on the menu diet coke

And M&M's. Yeah, it's a package deal. It's the Aaron Webber special. Because I'm making waves out here. But you have the M&M's. So what? Because you want to be like, I'll have the Aaron Webber. But you're like, I don't want too much sugar. And there's no discount for it either. It's the same as if you just ordered a Diet Coke and M&M's. But it's fun to order the Aaron Webber special. That is cool. Do they have it on the menu? It's literally on the menu. That's dope.

What about you?

No, I've never had a drink named after me. We got to change that. What would it be if we had a drink named after you? Warm milk. Warm black milk. Served for the late show. It's warm and it's slightly expired. Like two days expired. Come on, Mike. You're like, I don't know. Curdled milk. Come on. That's not fair. There it is on the menu right there. Check that out.

Oh, wow. The Aaron Webber special right under the popcorn. Simple, elegant. Absolutely right. Wow. Shout out to Luke and Scott. Simple and elegant. Third Coast Comedy Club, making it happen, man. That's a different type of description. I never saw M&M's and Diet Coke and thought, man, that is simple and elegant. You haven't seen the way I eat it. Oh, God.

It just makes it so creepy. It's just how you said it. That's like you ever play basketball with Michael Jordan? That's what it is. What? It's like eating M&M's with me. He's the top of his game. Here's a few more celebrities.

uh i don't know what i'm talking about oh yeah these celebrities with hobbies you're not a sloppy eater i'll say that thanks dude because uh quickly you're a fast eater very fast but you're not sloppy like i'll like whoa i didn't even know that i'm trying to get it in before i get hungry i'll still be on my first piece and pizza or whatever you'll be but it's not like it's all over your face i'll tear it through it thanks man yeah uh where'd that come from guys

Like, I'm confused on this. What is the conversation? I think it's just a perception of me as like. A sloppy eater? Embarrassed. Like, I look embarrassing when I'm eating. Well, I thought he was going there. Is that the perception of you?

I think if people had to, yeah. I don't think people would say that. I think if they were to draw a picture of Aaron Webber eating something, there'd be food all over my face. I'd have a bib on. That's funny. But I use knife and fork really well. Good for you. Thanks, man. You use it with M&M's like George? Yeah. That was a candy bar. Oh, yeah. That's right. He tough to do with the M&M's. He just get a spoon or something. Yeah, just buy the spoonful.

Steve Martin plays the banjo. He made money off that. That feels like less of a hobby. It's kind of what he's doing now. Nick Offerman, woodworking. Who's Nick Offerman? The guy from Parks and Rec. Oh, yeah. Which his character on there was into woodworking. Tom Hanks collects typewriters. I've heard that.

I think there's a guy here in Nashville that got a letter from Tom Hanks about a typewriter he bought from him or something. Yeah. That's a fun thing to collect. Is it? Because I'm like, why? What do you do with it? Because you definitely don't type with it.

Anybody still typing on typewriters? You know how frustrating that had to be? That's why you collect them. I don't think we give enough credit to the news reporters back in the day that had to use typewriters. I was watching Superman, and I was watching- Well, that's the true story. I was watching him, and I was just watching how Lois Lane had to type, and I was like, dude- Are you talking about the Christopher Reeve Superman? Yeah. Yeah. I was like, dude, that would drive me insane. You got to slide this thing back. Mm-hmm.

Were you ever old enough to even use a typewriter? I don't remember. I mean, I think I remember one in hindsight. I probably saw somebody using one, but I don't think they were doing it intentionally. Typewriter feels good, though. It does. Tactically, it feels good. I have a mechanical keyboard where the switches are...

They feel like that. It's loud. It's disruptive for other people. Yeah, that's what I was like. It's a good haptic feedback. Right, right, right. That's why if people didn't make fun of you for it, I would keep that click on your phone. You know the click that old people don't know how to turn off?

When they type and it's just like, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'd like to leave that on because it feels good when you hear it. It does. It does. It gives you, yeah, yeah. It's like popping bubble wrap or something. Yeah, man. It's a good feeling. Yeah, you need that response. That's my hobby, bubble wrap. Just kind of twisting it up, popping it. Really? No. Well. I'm waiting on you to.

I thought it would do it. Do you have it enabled already? I thought you just put the ringer on and I thought it would do it. No, you gotta disable it. Oh, okay. I'm sure you have it disabled. Uh,

Mike Tyson collects pigeons. Oh, yeah. There's no way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What does he do with them? Pigeon racing and different things. Yeah, he's just, what? Pigeon racing? Pigeon racing? Yeah. I didn't hear that. I actually heard that either. He's like Michael Vick for pigeons. I never heard that. I had never heard that either, but. How do you race a pigeon? Uh.

I think you just throw them in there. Yeah, but I mean, they're not going. I've never seen a pigeon fly straight. Google Mike Tyson pigeon racing. Mike Tyson says he owns over a thousand pigeons. Yeah. You never heard this. I've never heard this at all. I knew he owned a tiger. Yeah, man. I didn't know he had pigeons. He loves pigeons. Better keep the pigeons away from the tiger, huh? Yeah, I would. Yeah, man. He had a reality TV show about pigeons? Dude.

I don't remember that. I can't believe you didn't know that. Why does he like pigeons so much? It was something about as a kid. Yeah. Do any of you watch Hey Arnold or is that after both of y'all's time? Whoa. Whoa. How old do you think I am? I don't know. 46? No, I'm not. No, I'm not. I don't even know why you went there. I know. I know. You remember the show Hey Arnold? Yeah. Yeah. I remember. There's a character, the pigeon man.

I don't remember watching it, but I remember the show. Okay. There's a character, the Pigeon Man. It's just like a sad guy that has been, look at him. He used to be a fighter pilot. I don't know his whole backstory. I thought you were going to give me a story. He's been outcast from society and his only friends are pigeons. And he just hangs out on rooftops taking care of pigeons. Yeah, he was a fighter pilot. He's just kind of a sad guy. Aaron, answer me this. Tell me if this is true. Taylor Swift making snow globes.

You been to her house? Do you see snow globes everywhere? You been to her house? Last week? Her family's house, not her. That's where I am. Not her place. I had no idea about the snow globes. I don't know how, you know. Jay Leno and Jerry Seinfeld, cars, all kinds of cars. Imagine that being your hobby. Collecting cars. Collecting cars, yeah. It's like buying one car is like a life-altering decision. Yeah, it's like, man, I really have to think about this. Like, you just buying it on a whim. Yeah, like I buy baseball cards. Yeah.

I might as well pick some up on the way home. Get a couple cars. I was at Walmart. I grabbed a couple cars. Yeah. Dude, listen. To go back to what we were just talking about. Racism? Hey, Arnold. Or how far back do you want to go? Mike Tyson? The Pigeons. Yeah. So you remember on the...

What was it? Home Alone 2? Y'all remember that? When the pigeon lady? I stopped on the first one. That's a mistake. No, I think it's better. I think the second one was better. Okay. Is there pigeons in it? Yeah, a lot of pigeons. In the park, there's a lady, right? Yeah. She threw the pigeons on. Oh, such a funny scene. Surely you've seen. Nah, I don't know. You've never seen? I don't know what you're talking about. Nah, it's funny.

Is it the same kid as the first one? I'm already not believing you. You've seen it. Everybody's seen Lost in New York. Donald Trump's in Home Alone 2. Yeah, I've seen that clip of him. Yeah. Yeah. I'm using that. All right. So I went through the Nateland guys, the guys who travel with Nate and kind of see if I could come up with a hobby for everybody. Some people like John Detoy. He hasn't been on this podcast, but we know him. He's the best yo-yo-er in the world. Pretty much. Which is crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

uh stephen rogers really into alice cooper like i don't know if that would be a hobby but he like follows him around he buys all his albums named after him alice cooper yeah the singer wow okay the boys are backing down okay i know that song yeah i do know that song yeah it's my favorite alice cooper song start with that you know i'm buying a stairway to heaven you never heard that song i haven't heard that check alice cooper's got some hits yeah i believe yesterday

cool let it be let it be you never heard it house cooper is cool don't call it a comeback i've been here for years you don't know that alice cooper doesn't sound like ll the joke is none of these are alice cooper songs oh okay yeah but the first one was right no that's thin lizzy alice cooper has schools out for the summer never heard that yeah is there a the in there

For summer. School's out for the summer. School's out for summer. Oh, man. I don't think it changes the song that much. I think it changes it totally differently. The? You're putting articles in there? Yeah, it's summer break. School's out for the summer. Dustin Chafin collects records. Whenever he's on the road, he goes to record stores or antique places. Mike Vecchione. Really into the mafia. Yeah.

That's not a joke. I don't know if that's a hobby, but he knows everything about the mafia. He extorts small businesses for fun. That's his hobby. He bribes local police departments. That dude is so funny, man. Yeah. He is so funny.

All right, Stephen Bargatze, obviously he's a magician, but he's a big pickleball player. Really? Yeah. You guys, have y'all done that? Play pickleball? I played it once. It was very fun. Really? You liked it? You did not like it? I haven't played it. Because the only sport where you being tall doesn't matter at all? No. It looks like a lot of cardio.

More than I wanted to. Less than basketball. But at least I like basketball. I'm into basketball. So I can kind of forget. But I think you're competitive enough. You would enjoy pickleball if you just played. Probably if I got it. With friends and you're talking trash. I think ping pong's too much cardio. Really? Have you played pickleball? Only on the road with Nate. Not like in a real court. But we played once, you know, in a tennis court at night. In Johnson City. Yeah. And then...

One another time we taped off like, you know, Nate has like a extra room or something We just played but not like on a real court with real equipment. You didn't do a tournament or anything Yeah, we just play each other but was double so there wasn't a lot of running around you play ball with baseball I have Isn't he annoyingly better than you think what's so funny is like? It'll be like right up under the basket. I

And he still doesn't fade away. I don't know why he fades away. It's almost like his body doesn't want to be anywhere near anybody. So he just jumps away. And it goes in. I know. Well, that's very funny. I'm not going to laugh too much because Brian, I mean, I played Brian in some games of horse. Yeah. Demolish. It's a tough shot. Demolishment. Yeah. My hobby used to be I'd hustle people.

I can see that, dude. I would show up. Show up to the YMCA. Even after you shoot. Because even after you shoot, I'm still going to be like, yeah.

No, the reason probably is because I'm always afraid I'm going to get my shot blocked. And I do, very often. Well, you have to jump a little higher. As high as I can jump. You blocked my shot a couple of times. But it's fun going out there. But man, I'm so nervous playing out there. Dusty, gardening? Gardening?

We talked about birdwatching, but he has a few. Yeah. He has a few. Garden watching. Dusty's a Renaissance man. Yes. Joe Zimmerman birdwatching. I couldn't think of one for Greg Warren. I don't know if he has a hobby or not. I don't know. It was like being a sports fan, being an engaged sports fan considered a hobby too. You go to a lot of sporting events, things like that. I guess so. He, I know he follows like collegiate wrestling super closely and goes to a lot of events. And what about Dustin Nickerson? I couldn't think of one for him.

He goes to a lot of concerts, I feel like. He goes to a lot of concerts. Yeah, he goes to sporting events too and doing stuff with his family. I don't know. I mean, collect stuff, I guess. All right, so then I got to us. I'll go first. Okay. When I was a kid, I was really into the Muppets. I...

I guess my parents bought. I didn't buy them. Okay. Muppets. Why are you shaking your head, Mike? I was just thinking about you. This is an open room. Yeah, yeah. It's a safe place. Safe place. Don't try to bring me down. No, no, no. I collect Muppets. I was really into Muppets, and I joined the Muppet fan club. I brought in some of our newsletters here. I was wondering what that was. Oh, my gosh. This is amazing. Yes. This is amazing. I was a member of the- I mean, put it on actual sheepskin. That's how old it was.

Remember the Muppet fan club there. Wow. The Muppet volume three, number three, 1981. The great Muppet caper facts for fanatics. Dude. It's amazing, dude. This is directly to you. This looks like when you were an adult. No, look at that address.

Look at this. This guy didn't go to this. It went straight to him. Went to my work PO box. All right. So I'm still a member. Read that address, man. That address is crazy. I know. That's wild. I know. Read it.

I mean, you still live, you don't live there. You don't live there, dude. Route one, box 380. Route one. I lived out in the country. Route one, Lebanon, Tennessee. There was no numeric. I mean, box 380 was. There's box, but. But just route one. Lebanon has come up since then. Yeah. Thank goodness. That's so cool, man. It's cool that you saved this concept. I don't even think you could put that in a GPS.

No. Route one? No, no, no, no. Dusty had something similar when he was in the trailer park. I forgot what it was. Morris Trailer Park, Lot A. Something like that. All right, so now, as an adult, for the last 30 years, I've been keeping a journal. Really? And I write in every day. For how long have you been doing that? 30 years. 30 years? Started in 1995. You ever go back and read some of your host's? I do it every day. Every day? I go back to five-year intervals and look at what I was doing. Wow, on the same day. Mm-hmm.

yeah it's great it's fun it makes you realize how much your life changed how stuff that you thought was so important at the time yeah in a short amount of time doesn't matter so what you're reading right now is during the pandemic yep yeah but i also look back 10 years ago 15 years ago 20 25 and 30 so yeah so that's really cool what were you doing what were you doing today um

What was I doing? Which year? Five years ago. You know what? Five years ago, because we couldn't do anything, I was playing a lot of golf. Okay. Not good, but I would go out to these cheap courses and play nine holes at Shelby or something with some local comics. You go to McCabe? Yeah. Went to McCabe, went to Riverside, these cheap places that, you know, because you couldn't do anything else five years ago. That's true. It's kind of sad. Wow. Yeah.

All right, so that's my hobbies. Yeah. What about you, Mike? I'm into Legos. Like in what way? Like building Lego cars, like the cars I brought. Okay, let's see him. He's trying to tee you up to pull him off. I know he was, but it was like it just felt too forced. All right, drum roll.

So I got into these. Look at these, man. I got into these when I... How would you describe this for the listeners, Mike? What do you mean? Well, some people just listen and don't watch. It says on the back what it is. I couldn't have told you. Oh, what is this? It's a 4GT. Oh, 4GT. So actually, normally, I build...

the ones that are smaller than this. - Whoa. - Okay, I'm gonna show off. - He's got a couple here on the table. - Is this Fast and the Furious? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the thing is though, I got started doing this with my son, right? - It's like Spanish. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he got out of it and then I couldn't stop doing it. Now I'm like addicted to it. - So you just buy like the kit and then follow the instructions and build it from scratch. - Yeah, man. - How long does this take? - Like, it depends on how, if I get into it, like I think this one took me like a day.

Like I can get into it, but I like to take them when I'm on the road. Right. I do them. Yeah. Yeah. Like if I'm a, yeah, I like to do it on the, you know, wherever I'm at. So if you say a day, like a whole day though,

Yeah, yeah. I mean, like. 10 hours? No, no, no. It doesn't take that long. I mean, you can take breaks. Some of them take that long. Some of them are. You buy these huge Eiffel Tower and stuff. I don't. I mean, when I had Legos as a kid.

They were just blocks and you could build buildings, but I don't even understand how this works. Yeah, dude. Like it's, it's all, I don't know. Like, cause like you can see the engine. So like you can see the engine, like how the engine works with these.

Which is crazy. Like while the wheels are going, the engine's working. So it's like, it shows you. That's crazy. Yeah. Like if I just walked in, I couldn't even tell you that these are Legos. Oh, really? I think I would just say model cars or something. Yeah. Because that's not even what I think of as Legos. Yeah, it gets fun. And you've got little bitty parts in there? Like how many parts are in these? These were like 1,600, 1,700 pieces.

Yeah. 1,700? Yeah. But normally I'll do like the kits I'll do like 900, 900, 800 pieces. Something like that. Yeah. I get the appeal of it. It's very fun. I've done a couple recently. I had my, we hosted my whole family for Thanksgiving last year. And I was like, I got all these nieces and nephews coming. I'll buy some Lego sets for them to play with. So I bought like the Hogwarts castle from Harry Potter.

I bought a big one, not the huge one. That's like $600. There's one that's like a hundred bucks and it's maybe like the size of like my laptop. It's like that big. And, um, my nieces and nephews did it with me for, uh,

I don't know, 20 minutes and then lost interest. And then I sat and did the rest of it myself. And it is very fun. It is. It's therapeutic. It's fun. It's very relaxing. I can write when I'm doing it. I was about to ask you that. When you start to see it, because sometimes you'll be building it and you're like, I don't even know what I'm doing right now. And then when you see it take shape. Yeah. It's like a pottery class. Yeah. Yeah. It's like,

it's it's it's a lot of fun dude and the the people that design these things are so smart they're so so well made yeah i don't know how they do it like like do you know how we got one over there of us how do you know how they do that no no maybe a 3d printer or something it would have to be because i mean to the logistics of of it is just what's crazy to me yeah i don't even know how you would put all that together how many of these do you have

13, I think. I'm building 14 now. I'm working on a Corvette. And are they displayed? Yeah. I got them up on my wall at home. How many Jordans do you have?

How many Jordans? Yeah. Man. About the same. Over 20. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of Jordans. I guess that would be a hobby, right? Yeah. I would think so. Yeah. The shoe collecting. The shoe collecting. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't collect them. Yeah. If it's ruining your day when you don't get it, that's a hobby. It does. But I don't collect them to just hold them. I like them. You wear them. Yeah. I wear them. But you keep them clean. I keep them clean. Yeah. I do keep them clean.

I think this is, I mean, I could see you get into this. There's something probably feels good when you feel it snap in there. Yeah, yeah. It feels like you're accomplishing something. It is fun. Next time you go to Target or something, go to the Lego aisle, and there's all the 18 and up, like adult kits like this, and it's awesome. And it was weird because I was in one of the stores one day, and it was like kids on the aisle. So I'm like, excuse me. And it was weird.

Like, and I was trying to get past this little kid. And then the mom's like looking at me like, what are you doing? But I'm like, I'm trying to get to this. She's like looking like, where's your kid with you? I'm like, this is for me. You could probably get the ones on the top shelf that they can get. Oh, that's the only ones I go for. The top shelf ones.

All right, Aaron, I came up with a few for you. Yeah, let's hear it. Then you can tell me if this is true or if there's other ones. Weightlifting? Yeah. Baseball cards? Yeah, for sure. Or I guess just more than just trading cards. Do you have other stuff? Yeah, or just sports memorabilia, stuff like that. I used to collect baseball cards. I did too. Well, basketball. Basketball? Yeah. I had a baseball.

Jeff Foxworthy would get people to autograph baseballs. Not just baseball players, but anybody celebrity he'd get him. Oh, a celebrity. Yeah, or somebody meaningful. Yeah. Give him an autograph of baseball. And he's got those displayed. And I kind of like the idea of that. Yeah, that is cool. I like to do something like that. Yeah, something different. Because, dude, you want to...

people want to sign a baseball, especially people that aren't comics. Yeah. Yeah. Or that aren't baseball players, like a comic. You know, I can sign a baseball. Yeah. It's like a fun, different thing to sign. Yeah. It is different. So any, any kind of memorabilia like that, I collect. Yeah. Baseball is the only sport that you can bring a ball from that sport and can really, I mean, you can, people do sign footballs, but it's, it's not as, it's not the same. Except to travel with a bunch of footballs on it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Key cards. You collect key cards. Hotel keys. Yeah, that's almost like journaling in the same way that you do that. I do that too. You keep the hotel keys? Yeah. How do you keep them? You got them in a big pile? You write where you were at? Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly what I do. Yeah. It was a bag. I think my wife might have thrown them away. Yeah.

Because she was so... I used to collect those and I had them in the same bag with all the lotions and stuff from the same... Oh, okay. And then she was just like, no more. And I was just like...

You don't understand what this means to me. Sounds like you got enough hobbies. I know, right? She just tossed them, I think. It might be at home. I'm going to look, though. Did you yell at her in Spanish? Hey, listen. Señorita. Listen. Aaron, video games?

I think so. Yeah. I'm in and out of it. I'm in and out. I'll go through waves where I play them a lot. Yeah. That can make you money. But the types of games are different now. I used to play games where you had to sit down and play for eight hours at a time. Right. I can't play those games anymore. But I can play sports games especially. You can hop on and play for 15 minutes and actually enjoy it and get something done. So I'll still play a few games. What was your favorite game?

I played World of Warcraft in high school. It's in a very serious guild. What was yours? I would play for 10 hours a day. Wow. Yeah, about 10 hours a day. It was a problem. It'll take over your life. It's that good of a game. I used to love Goldeneye on 64. Did you play there? Goldeneye. Sure. Mario Kart.

Mortal Kombat. N64 era. Yeah. Well, I mean, even before that, Nintendo or Super Nintendo. I had an Atari as a kid. Wow. Pong? The classics. I was after Pong.

But I did do Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, Frogger, all those. But then when I got to college, my roommate had a Nintendo. Yeah. Tecmo Bowl. Oh, man. Oh, man. Bo Jackson was unstoppable. Yeah. Tecmo Bowl. I thought you were going to be like, my roommate had this game called Space Invader. I was like, this is good. It's taking over. The graphics. Dude. Oh.

What was that? Mike Tyson punch out. I still remember the code to get to Mike Tyson. Oh, yeah, yeah. 0073735963. That's so funny. Wow. Mike Tyson punch out. Yeah. I never beat him. I never beat him. The whole time this guy was collecting pigeons. You know what's funny? You know the Thompson twins in – Mary-Kate and Ashley? Nah, nah, that's not him. The group? Nah. They in the NBA.

Oh, Klay Thompson? Nah. This is a guy named... Fred Thompson? Amin Thompson. Yeah. You know who I'm talking about? Okay, anyways. Look them up. Because they... It's so weird. I want to see if y'all see this or am I just tripping? Oh, sure. So you know that, right? You see the twins, right? Yes. Now look up Bruiser Brothers. No, no, no, no. Not the Bruiser Brothers. I can go ahead and tell you. We're not going to be able to say... No, don't... Doesn't...

Am I tripping? These two guys? Yeah. But you got to see them on how they look. Yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it side by side here. No, you got to see them in the fight. Oh, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, yo, this is bad. Not that one. Not that picture. That picture doesn't look anything like them. You got to go to the... Like here? Nah. Nah, nah, nah. Like in the middle of a fight. Okay. I'm having trouble with that.

I'm going to take your word on that, Mike. Yeah, I think you're going to have to because now I'm starting to be like, what am I looking at? Yeah, I don't know. That's dumb. And what about this, Aaron? Collecting movies. I used to. I gave all my DVDs to Dusty. Yeah. For the apocalypse. I liquidated my entire. Dusty's about to go underground. I kept most of my Blu-rays, but I gave all my DVDs to Dusty. He threw out the bad ones. What were the bad ones? The ones that he didn't want in his house.

And he kept it. Like Harry Potter? All that kind of stuff he got rid of. Harry Potter, dude, that was a great movie. That was a great movie. Thank you. Yeah. They're good books. Yeah, yeah. I read where quad ball is a hobby now that people do. Quad ball? Is it wheelchair basketball? No, it's from Quidditch. Or maybe I'm saying it wrong. Quidditch? But now they've changed the name. They said the quad ball, I thought.

What do you mean? Not wheelchair basketball. What's it called? Quad golf? Quad ball. Quad ball? Oh, it's inspired by Quidditch, but played on a field with brooms instead of flying. I figured. I figured this one did not involve magic brooms. Yeah. What?

That's pretty cool. I mean, where is this taking off? I just assumed you knew about this and we're probably in a league. No, I've never, I was never one of these guys. I was never large. There were LARPers at, uh, in college. I'd see him every now and then. LARPers. What's that? Uh, live action role play where people get out there and pretend to be like knights and wizards and stuff. Oh yeah, like the Renaissance Festival. And they do battles. Oh yeah. I was doing real, I would do like real Civil War reenactments, that kind of stuff. Who were you fighting for? I don't know.

Let's talk about that. You know, I think we all know. I got an idea. Let's just say you'd be on the other team.

Would you go do a Revolutionary War reenactment? I don't think I would. Why not? I don't think I would want to be there. A Revolutionary War. That's even worse. Why? Because who's he playing? Where am I in this? You're a soldier fighting the Redcoats. Nah, I'll watch. You want to go kill some British people? I'll just watch.

I'll just watch. Okay, okay. Reenactments, that doesn't sound fun to me. Could be a trap. Right. What's the earliest year you would want to do a reenactment? The earliest year? Iraq War. Right. When was I born?

we'll we'll we'll we'll stop at the 80s okay yeah all right we should probably wrap it up that's a good one to wrap it up on thank you for coming by mike man thanks you're the man anytime i got come back anytime uh start to get some shows to promote oh yeah um

It's coming out next week? Yeah, coming out June 4th. July 6th, I'm at Good Nights Comedy Club in Raleigh. July 9th, I'm at Comedy Catch in Chattanooga. Nice. Mike, anything you want to plug? June? No. NBA Finals? I'm just playing. June 15th.

The Funny Lane, myself, Renard Hirsch, Brian Covington. Three really great natural comedians that are friends of all of us. The show is so much fun. Go see them. Thank you. We'll be at Zany's on June 15th. That's Father's Day. Yeah, Father's Day. Ain't got much going on. Funny Man Mike James, look him up. I'm going to be at the Comedy Catch Chattanooga the week after Brian.

So, if you're like most people and you're like, listen, I can really only go to one show, I think you know what show to go to. I don't think I'm there the exact weekend, but I'm there in July. Yeah, you're there for like a few weeks, right? Like a few days. A weekend. Yeah, how many shows? Five, I think. Four or five. Yeah, they gave me one, so come to my show. Okay, that's fair. Because I need it. I mean, I don't think this guy's five times better than I am, so...

All right. You guys are the best. Thanks for listening. This was a fun one. Yes. We love you. Check out Mike James. Check out Mike James. He's the best. Go see him on the road with Nate. You'll probably see him. And we love you. None of us is lost on us. And wishing you all a pleasant evening. That's it. Goodbye, folks. Yeah.