#76 The Universe ft. Nic Novicki
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Hello, folks. Welcome to the Nateland Podcast. I'm here with Aaron Weber, Brian Bates. Welcome, everybody. Welcome. We're also sitting here with a special guest, as always, E.

I know, you just made like a smile. I think people know just from that laugh, they know who he is. He just goes, hey. Nicholas Novicki. Nick Novicki, everybody. Mick. Hello, folks. There you go. You almost forgot, didn't you? Hello, guys. Yeah. Thanks to you, Paisley. We just got back off the road, Mick.

Me, Nick, Dustin, and Aaron. Bates already was booked. He's a big time. You were Leanne, right? Friday night. Yeah, yeah. Saturday night I had my own show. Oh, wow. His own stuff. Not you losers. I got my own money now, Papa. I don't need your money. I don't know if that makes sense. Did you tell your dad when you were running away? Well, I got my own money now.

Just Aaron and I in the back of the bus. Nate, we're hungry. Feed us. Pretty much. Get back. Get back. No, Aaron, you were all over the place. What do you mean? You have a bunch of gigs. Yeah. You have a gig tonight. You have a gig the night before us. Nate's barely working. We both got a gig tonight. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Same thing? No. Oh, wow. Everybody's working. A lot of gigs. Look at this. A lot of gigs. A lot of gigs.

We had a blast. We were in Pittsburgh and Cleveland, and it was super, super fun. This is the last bus trip until January, until the first week or whenever the tour starts in January. You miss the bus. The bus is a fun time. We have a good time on it. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Any poker play this weekend? No.

Yeah, we got some poker. It was also fun to play with people that had no idea how to play poker. They're like, oh, what should I do? Should I go all in? And we were like, yeah. And they won, though. Yeah, but they were like, we're going all in. Travis, who's like a professional poker player, you could just see his anger. He was like, ugh. He gets so mad. Yeah, we went down there. We played, and playing cards is fun. It's something to do.

So we had a blast, and it was fun. And yeah, all right. I don't have a lot. I think we're getting to it more. I don't know. Someone posted a Facebook poll, what guests would you like to see on Nate Land? And Nick is one of the top ones. Well, you know, I get Mick all the time when I'm on shows.

Also, I pronounce the name Nick bad, so I partially am the reason why the Nick legend kind of continues. But no, it's truly amazing. I mean, the fans of Nate Lamb podcasts are amazing. Very nice. All right, let's start with some comments for you guys. Nate Blair, that would be...

If I had Laura's maiden name. Yeah. I don't know if I should say that. I'm ruining Harper's life for the future. Like everything. Her security question. What's your mom's maiden name? I'm like, oh, gosh. Can we give her social security out? I've already did that. Yeah, you've done it all on here already. Is anyone else getting a real strong Todd Packer vibe from John Reap? Love this episode. John was a great guest. We did.

We had a few people say that he sounded like David Koechner or Todd Packer from The Office. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. Some people said they were listening. They thought he's going to look just like Todd Packer. He looks a little bit like him, but if you close your eyes and listen to him, he's got the same kind of inflections in his voice. Yeah. I could see it. John's just very funny. That's why David Koechner is very funny and John is very funny. They're just very funny people, and they're fun to watch. You go watch John live. It's just fun. Yeah. It's great.

Jay Yebra. Is that right? Yeah. It's definitely clear that nobody's watched Ted Lasso or y'all would have known right away a soccer field is called a pitch. It's actually called a pitch because of cricket. We've all watched Ted Lasso. I haven't watched the new season, but. I bet that's how you knew that though, right? I think that is a big part of why I knew that. Yeah. I love it. Ted Lasso is unbelievable. So I know what a pitch is. I'm better than everybody at this table is what I'm trying to say.

Aaron knew, but we didn't. Yeah. I don't even know. Commentary night about Ted Lasso. Yeah, Ted Lasso's great, dude. You knew what a soccer pitch is? That's what you say. Yeah, I know what a soccer pitch is, and I'm a big fan. Jason Sudeikis. I love him. Yeah, where's Sudeikis fans? He knows the star of the show. You really are a big fan. Anna Brutbacher. Brutbacher.

Bruckbacher. Bruckbacher. Anna. Anna.

Stoppage time is intentionally not posted in the stadium because they don't want the players to see it and stop playing full on until the final whistle and the game is actually over. They will announce it in the stadium, and then we always open up a stopwatch phone app to keep track of how much time is left. That's a lot to do. They're demanding a lot of the fans. You've got to bring a stopwatch. I mean, I guess your phone now, but imagine four phones. So you're like, everybody's going to go with a stopwatch to the

I know. Are you just watching it forever? I do like to stop each time. I think it's kind of fun. You don't know how much. It's like there's a hesitation to it. I mean, not hesitation. The opposite of hesitation. What is that? A...

An urgency. An urgency. I feel like, too, there was a soccer guy that would run around at a kid's soccer with that stopwatch, and now everybody has an iPhone. Yeah. So you just know the time. Yeah. There's no need for that guy anymore. Nice commentating from the top. It's still hard to imagine, though, if... I mean, that was like... This is like ESPN. The game is...

50 to 0 and we're just like yeah and then you just try to chime in laughing laughing

Matt Tanner. Nate is making no sense in his sports comments. First, he says the Cubs shouldn't complain because they never won before then. Going on to say Dan Levitard shouldn't complain because the Marlins have only been around around 20 years and already won twice. Basically, Nate is saying you can't complain that goes on to complain about how his team stinks. Come on, Nate. You guys haven't ever been good, so you shouldn't care. Good luck on the Grammy. Thank you. Yeah, that's... A couple people made that point.

But we've never won. So it's the idea that it's the greedy. Does that make sense? But are you saying we shouldn't even be upset about not winning? The Cub thing, I'm not saying they shouldn't complain. I'm saying the Cubs...

They think they're better than they are. So they complain like they're this historic franchise and they're historic in the fact that they're a very famous franchise, but it's not because of winning. Yeah. And the Marlins is like, he was crying and they've won twice in 20 years. Like you want to go, is it, what do you, what did you want? Five more times? Three? You want it to be three? Would you be happy if it was three? Am I not making sense there?

And in Vandy, I mean, we haven't done anything. I think our victory would feel the most rewarding. You're most excited about, like, almost tying Tennessee from, like, the 90s. Like, that's your big Vanderbilt. We lost 12-7 to Peyton Manning. Peyton Manning ran a dumb bootleg. Naked bootleg. I think about it every day. He just...

Went out, no one grabbed him. He runs one-on-one every 10 years, and it works so good. I think he has a yearly clock. He had a yearly clock on his bootlegs, and he was like, it's about time. He's like 25, and he's like, I think this is about time. And he runs one at 25, and then at 32. And no one sees him coming because you're like, oh, I forgot he did that. Yeah, I thought he could run. Yeah. I think that was his last game at Neyland Stadium. Oh, yeah. I saw him that night. Sorry, I saw him.

I saw him at a diner that night. I can't remember the diner's name. Everybody in UT knows it. It's like a sandwich place. Gus's? Gus's. And so we're in there, and I'm just like with my buddies, and I'm just making fun of Peyton Manning. And I was like, he's the worst. You know, whatever. We just lost. They're all laughing. And I was like, I don't even care. And then he walks in with one of his linemen.

And they're like, well, there he is. Just go do it. And I was like, well, maybe. I'll probably go up there in a second. And then, I mean, I just didn't even talk to him. He brings it. Well, he brought a lineman. If he was alone, I would have went after him hard. He walks around that lineman everywhere. You're like, your center's everywhere, man. Isn't that like Travis with Jay Cutler? How he can stand and then he met him and it was like Keith Hernandez and Newman. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. JPSC.

The Tar Heels mascot is a ram because in the 20s, a cheerleader suggested we should have an animal mascot like other teams. So they decided on a ram because the fullback, Jack Merritt's nickname was the battering ram. Cheerleaders had a lot of say back in the 20s. I know. Isn't that crazy? Well, they're just getting started. Yeah. You know what? I mean, can you imagine if they would let now, if like a cheerleader just walked over to Nick Saban and was like, hey, I talked to you for a second. Yeah.

I don't know if I'm buying this crimson tie. What does that mean? We've got an elephant. What is crimson tie? The Alabama buffaloes. There you go. We would like that. Alabama buffaloes. That's at least... What's a crimson tie? I think the... Is it the red clay down there on the golf? Oh, I thought it was just like a metaphorical...

The crimson tide, the wave is coming to get you. Like, watch out. The happy elephant. I don't think they thought about that much down there. I'm going to get made. My wife's an Alabama fan. My whole family, Lars all Alabama. So, y'all win every time. I mean. I don't know. They're going to win again this year. Unfortunately. Yeah. Ryan Coleman. That is crazy, though. Just to gloss over that cheerleader suggestion. 20. I like the 20s. Because people could just, you could walk up to the president. Free for all back then. You should do coins.

Why don't you do like 50 cent quarter coins in the present? But that's a good idea. I like that. I think he listed the cheerleaders name. I took it out because it was kind of hard to pronounce, but I think it was a specific guy on the team that cheerleading squad. Oh, a male cheerleader. I think it was. The most Jack guy on the field. He's just like, ah, Ryan Coleman. No,

A North Carolina episode with no mention of one of the greatest athletes who has ever walked the earth, who went to high school and college in the state. Unbelievable. That is very true. So we just got to North Carolina stuff kind of late. Yeah. And I think we're actually doing another North Carolina episode. We ended up being able to talk to Reap so long about comedy and all this stuff. So it was like at the end, we honestly should have just kept going about comedy. Yeah. And we kind of threw some North Carolina in there. So we'll probably do a whole...

But, yes, Jordan. Is that who they were talking about? Yeah. Oh, boy. Acidu Rivardo. No? I think you nailed it. Acidu Rivardo. I always say Acido. Acido. Oh, come on. I'm just going off. In that nitpicky, I do the fact that it's A-C-I-D-E-A-U-X. Yeah. I always think of the Go Tigers when LSU writes it like that. Acido. Acido.

As Ravardo Ravardo. I like to know, uh, in regard to the English colony that vanished, it makes sense when you realize North Carolina is second in hurricanes, native Americans refuse to live year round on those barrier islands, which is why the English English settled there. Most likely a massive storm destroyed their settlement and the Croate. What is it? Croatoan. Croatoan tribe helped the survivors. Uh,

There were legends of blue-eyed Indians who they thought were descendants of the English settlers decades later. Sounds like it was written by someone that was being pretty favorable to the tribe. They go, no, no, no, it wasn't us. And you're like, all right, I don't know if I buy it. Are you blaming it on hurricanes? We're going to get a letter from a hurricane next week that's going, come on.

My grandfather was a hurricane back then. He would never do something like that. I think we solved it, though. That makes the most sense ever to me. I like that you can just solve it that quick. Yeah. You know? It's a hurricane. It's blue-eyed Indians. Yeah. That makes complete sense. Blue-eyed Indian. I mean, they could run the world. Sounds like a Nick comment. What does that mean? I don't know. It just feels like when you've got those blue eyes and...

Vinegar Indian? Yeah, yeah. Skin tone, I mean, just they would be, you know. Nate is big. Everybody would just stare at your eyes and then you could just tell people what to do. I have blue eyes. Frank Sinatra. Yeah, but you don't feel like more of a bull. Yeah.

I feel like you'd be like, don't let him in the store. Would they make you and your little standout son? Y'all go to like an antique shop and like, get your boy, get the big one out. Chain him up outside. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You got to settle it when he's on the bus, you know? All right, wait a minute. Watch where he's walking. He goes. He goes. That's a good idea. Whoa, that's what Nick does.

And he starts backing down. Aaron slimmed down a ton. I know, yeah. We slide right by each other. We did it last night or this morning. We were just like. It's unbelievable. Used to be always at open the bus when we parked. You had to slide out. You had to slide open out. Just so I could get through. I'd walk on the cul-de-sac and make an announcement. Aaron's coming out. Aaron. Aaron is coming out.

I mean, I used to fear it. Every time I would open up the cubby in the bunk, I'd be like, is Aaron going to hit me? And now he can just dive anywhere. Now you're just being mean, Nick. No one went with me there, so it did feel mean. We were all having fun. You took it to a real place. It felt really mean. Aaron's size is his own problem. Thank you. So is mine. He's okay. All right. William Roberts.

Man. That's tough, because you just get there and you're like, just like, you need any baggage? Yeah, there's some. And then your face just, and you're like...

You know, you just sit across the table from each other. Yeah. He just goes like, you just feel it coming on. Oh God. You might as well say your pill case with the days on them. Just write out. By the way, I'm thinking I'm going to get one of those.

You got to do it, man. You got to do it. I've been holding off and I asked Laura quietly, privately. I said, I think I need one of those. It's tough to keep track, man. Do you do it? No, but I understand the benefit of it. What pills do you have to take? So many that you have to keep up with. Your vitamins and stuff. Yeah, everything. And then...

But like you just end up, you know, you can't, you see a tree. Do you do that? I don't even know what we're talking about. You know, pills with the days on it. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Yeah. No, you don't do that. No emergency. That's it. You just take emergency every day. Yeah. And cortisone. Yeah. I need it. What did we have? What do we want to ask about your glasses?

So Nick has the worst eyesight. So have I shown you on my phone? So here's Nick. If you ever see Nick on the road and Nick's looking at his phone, I promise you, this is how Nick looks at the phone. He does this. And he's like, oh. And then you could come up and he's like, oh. That's how much he looks. Yeah.

So his eyesight is horrible. My eyesight is really bad. He went to a doctor. He's an eye doctor. He goes to one eye doctor. What did he tell you? He tells me that I have...

a eye disease keratosis i think i'm pronouncing it wrong possibly uh but basically my cornea i'm like looking through the cornea so i need like a cornea transplant or hard contact lenses he's like get him if you if it's gonna if your life is like you can't take it anymore so for me i squint i do look a

But, you know, Nate loves it. He told you you can't have glasses. Yeah. I probably should see another eye doctor. That's the thing that seems crazy. Look, maybe it's true. I'm not saying it's not. But that's what seems crazy to me. He says you're like...

why can't you have glasses yeah like i don't like if you can have hard contacts maybe it needs to be surrounded your whole eye or something yeah i would think you could have a shot at least i know yeah i mean i may just start wearing glasses just for you know for you guys and then i'm like they don't even work i just have them on once you get hit by a bus like you don't you you i mean you i i'll watch you we're when we went to buffet this weekend and uh

And I like watch you how close. You won't notice us until pretty close. You get, you know, and we play NBA 2K. You can't see the screen. You can't. Yeah. And it's a big TV and you're three feet from it. Do you wear soft contact lids? I don't wear anything. No.

I'm keeping it natural. They've told him it's dangerous. He's driving around. LASIK, is that an option? No. No. It's the cornea. Yeah. But, yeah, it's funny. Nate loves it. He loves to, you know, in the buffet, in fairness, it's not like, this is a big buffet, all right? I'm a big Chinese food fan, so the Asia corner was like the far corner. Yeah. So I had to walk all the way there. Were you at Ryan's Steakhouse? Yeah.

No, no. This is a buffet in Cleveland. They have a casino buffet attached to the hotel. Shout out to that casino. That was fun. We were there pretty late actually this morning. Yeah. Yeah, it was fun. It was a good time. Yeah. Like warm. Yeah. No, they left at 11 I think. 1130. He's like, yeah, we were in bed by

We watched the sunrise there, dude. I think it went to bed at 2.30, 2, 2.30. But the buffet was so spread out that, you know, between plates, Dick was like planning his voyage out back to the, so he was like, anyone want to come to Asia with me real quick? And it was a way he walked down there where you're like, all right, man, we'll see you when you get back. We'll take a picture of him before and after. That was my exercise, too, though. I had to walk to Asia. You know, it was like the far corner. Yeah. Long walk, man. Long walk. Yeah.

All right. So, yeah. We'll see. Someone maybe knows your eye thing, if that makes sense. Yeah.

because i bet you there's an eye doctor like you are seeing the wrong i'll also be honest that i did try to go for a new appointment with my eye doctor they're not there anymore so they're gone they're gone i wanted to keep going to the same eye doctor because they were tracking like the the my eyes are awful they're getting worse and worse so i'm like i want to keep going to the same eye doctor yeah i tried to make an appointment about a month ago and

And I look up, you know, the office and it's no longer an office. So you got to go to someone new. Now I got to go to someone new. There you go. Yeah. They left. Watch it. It wasn't really an eye doctor. Like they just, I just was like going to a dentist. Yeah, you ever see that guy in one of your like auditions one day. He's like sitting next to you and you're like.

Dr. Frankel? I don't know. That's a good doctor name. I think Colgate, yo, Colgate, an apology, because the last episode you were on, you were like, it looks just like Cortisone. Shame on them. I had a lot of people saying, there were people that said they did the same thing, reached out to me. Colgate versus Cortisone. They look a lot alike. I got a lot of people relating to putting Cortisone in their mouth. So there's people, there's mix out there.

There's Mick's. Are you a Mick? We are a Mick at some point. Ryan Bushbeck. I was wondering what the light is that they put in the back for the comedy shows. So I was very invested when Nate started to explain it. And as soon as John started guessing the venue names, I just knew they were going to get sidetracked and never come back to fully explain it.

Yeah, we got it sidetracked a lot. So the light is... So it's either a flashlight or they're like, do this to your phone. They wave the phone in the back. And it's to let you know how much time you have left. So you can let the light be whatever. So when I headline, I don't really do it at theaters now. I have a clock now in theaters just because I'm kind of keeping an eye...

I know where I want to be in a set. Like I know what, like I want to, I don't know what joke I want to be at at 30 minutes. I can usually tell where I'm going to hit if I'm at this one joke that I have. If I'm at 30 minutes, I'm like, all right, I'm good. And so, but when you first start, you're doing five minutes, they light you at three minutes or four minutes. You get a light.

So four minutes, they light you. You have one minute left. And then eventually you go 15. So when we're in New York, I'm doing 15-minute spots. They light us at 12. That's the kind of usual. You can ask for whatever you want. But if you don't ask, it's like they leave you a three-minute light, start wrapping it up. And then you start headlining. First, you do 45 minutes. You light at 40, five-minute light.

But then towards the end, I would always get a light at like 45 if I was doing an hour. So someone lets me know, hey, you're at 45 minutes. And then you go, okay, and you start.

getting out of it. So that's what the light is. The light is great unless you have eye problems and, uh, it's, yeah, I can't see light, but like a regular light when it's like a little, like, you know, a little, little kind of tiny one, a little flashlight thing. That's like, Zany's did, uh, Zany's does a flashlight and then, but some places have specific lights where they flip a switch. Yeah. Uh, New York always has that, uh,

A lot of New York places have. They just flip a switch in the back. You see like a red light bulb go on. And then you know, like, all right, it's time. The Laughing Skull in Atlanta. I think I've said this before, but their light is a big light that says, this is the light. Really big. So they're like, there's no way you missed that. It says, this is the light. That's funny. They did... What was I doing? Oh, I did one show. I did a show once where a lady gave me a light and she was new. And so I was like, you're headlining. And so when you're headlining...

You tend to like when you're headlining at clubs, people that you say like me, I like 45. And then you just, you kind of can get off when you want to get off. That's the deal. And so I don't think she realized that. So she let me at 45 and then, uh,

lit me again, like, I think right when we were near like 50, then 55. And then at an hour and I don't, I don't go long, but I did like maybe an hour and two minutes. And, and she was like, it was a small room and it was like a cop light. So it's so obvious. Yeah.

Because, I mean, when it would hit me, you would see it behind me. So you're just seeing this light, and I keep going like, all right. So usually you nod. You'd just be like, if you ever see a comic, just go, his head up. He's just letting the person in the back, I see it. But there's another kind of fun thing with the light, too, where sometimes if the light's already on before you get there, and you don't notice it until you're like one or two minutes in or a couple minutes in, and then you're like,

are they lighting me? Like, am I just bombing? And they're like, get them off. Yeah. And then you see it cut off like five minutes and you're like, I don't know what's happening. If they flash the light, that means off now. So like in, in New York, like if so, if Chris Rock came in and was going to go up and they want you off, they would just flash off.

they just kind of flash it to go like hey someone's here so like you know they just they just call someone in to just punch you in the face get him off get him off because they want whoever nick chris rock's here so he's going to go up so they just like you know do that i'm on stage i see nate up in the booth with a lot get him off get him off towel under the door

When my dad was in college, he heard they were changing the Coca-Cola recipe. He rushed out and bought four six-packs, convinced that they would be worth a fortune someday. We still have one of the six-packs, and each can today is worth a whopping $1.50. That is up $1.50 a can. I mean, he's like gas station prices. That's pretty good. That's true. It took him 40 years. It took him 40 years to get a gas station. I love gas stations.

I love the way that he thinks, though. I think you should think like that. Yeah. Like, that's going to pay off someday if it hasn't already in something else. Yeah. Have you done something like that? I mean, I collect baseball cards with the thinking that

20, 30 years from now, they'll be valuable. Yeah. Which most of them probably won't be. But you got to cling to that belief. We did. My parents did Beanie Babies for Abigail, my sister. Yeah. And then I didn't get anything. I didn't collect anything. Because Abigail got everything. And so there... But yeah, like we would do...

I remember getting 9-11 I got a newspaper the next day and I kept it wow and I remember we still have it and I kept it and that's the only thing I kept is like if we have kids one day you know see the news the actual newspaper from the next day that's cool but that was like I mean that's the only thing I was like oh you could take it she could take it to school or he or whatever I feel like you would have just kept the sports section of that like yeah what was going on sports yeah yeah

Well, I didn't think you were going to say that. I stole it away. You just say 9-11. I thought you were going to say you went out and bought something. Yeah, that's what I thought. You know, the streets were empty, so I thought it was a good time to go shopping. Oh, no. No, I went and bought the magazine. I mean, the newspaper. Yeah. I think maybe a few of them, just because it was such a crazy thing. And you'd always see those newspapers of...

Like Pearl Harbor. Man lands on moon, that kind of stuff. And you're like, oh, that's crazy to see that. When Harper was born, I bought her Harper's Bazaar magazine for that date. That was nice. Yeah. She still reads it. Yeah.

Joshua Nelms. Fun fact about Pepsi, in the 80s, they made a deal with the Soviet Union. The Soviets received Pepsi, and Pepsi received 17 submarines and three warships. Enough equipment to make them the sixth largest military in the world at the time. And that's why I like Pepsi. Communist soda, dude. I like my soda.

To have submarines. I don't think that's weird to want that. I like that they're going to be there at all times and warships.

If there's a nuclear winner, Nate's still going to be able to have this. That's right. I'll tell you what, the old days, there's just never nothing. Nothing's going to be like that ever, like the old days. Good old days. I mean, just like what would you be as a company? You're like, hey, can you give us 17 submarines and three more? Like who's even – Well, I looked this up because I thought this doesn't even sound real, but it is real. Is real. Yeah.

They brought Pepsi to the Soviet Union. Soviet Union money was no good at that time. So they're like, we got to give us something else. So they gave them all this war equipment and then Pepsi sold it to some Swedish...

uh scrapyard or something just for the for the metal what if pepsi just attacked coke they're like that's it we're going to war that's what they should have done and they they messed up they sold it yeah i got a bunch of submarines how many things you'll take how do you even know the number yeah like how do you go like 17 feels right how do you logistically how does this work

So does Pepsi send people over and they just go pick up the submarines and drive it over to Sweden? The article didn't say. They had to hire. I'm just thinking. Well, think about it. They have to hire. In the 80s. It's Russian. It's Russian submarine pilots, you know, that are like bringing it in. It seems like this stuff didn't work.

Because they just took it to the scrapyard. Okay. It's probably old equipment, and then they just sold it to this place. That's like when you trade something, someone's like, I got this, but you got to go run an errand to get your money, and you're like, just give me the money. Like, I don't want to, you know. I mean, originally they traded rum, and then the next time it was too much, so they were like, you got to give something more, and it was...

Military. 17 submarines. That's a big leap up. Yeah, from rum. Pepsi's crushing it too that they're like, all right, we'll give you 17 submarines. How do you go? One person's got to go. I think I got an idea. And you got to hope that Pepsi's like, all right, I'll do it. Yeah, whoever is like selling that is like, here's what my idea is. In a boardroom be like, we would like 17 submarines.

Three warships. Y'all got that? There you go. We got more. We got plenty. Throw in one more. Tag Gaming. T-A-G Gaming. Gaming? Yeah, I think it's maybe it's company or something. G-A-M-I-N-G. I live in Hickory, North Carolina. We once had a funeral at the cemetery next to the racetrack. They had to delay the practice for the race for my grandmother's funeral.

they kept calling the funeral director to ask if we were done yet. And at the end of the funeral, we just hear cars start up and run laps. I mean, can you imagine? I mean, I honestly think that's what I'd want is my funeral. I think it'd be, nothing would be funnier than just go. We done? He goes, they're done. And just, I mean, the second the casket closed, it's like, and everybody has to get distracted. I love that. I think that's so funny. Uh,

All right. So Nick would. So when we, Dustin's here as well, cause he's on the road with us, Dustin Chafin. He'll be on, we're recording a podcast with him too today. Me, Nick, Dustin and Rich Rodovich all live together.

And I think Dustin, was it me or Dustin? It was Dustin. Yeah. Dustin. So we were all like, we shared a two bedroom apartment. Nate and I lived in a living room, literally a curtain, a curtain. We, we hung up curtains to be like hit. We shared a curtain and then there was two curtains in the front on these hanging wires. And so we would go, his room was huge. My room was, you couldn't have fit this table in my room. I mean, it was not, it was just my part. I slept on a,

just a, like a recliner that folded out to a bed. And so we're all out one night, we're all doing spots and Nick was staying in. So I'm gone. Rich is gone. Dustin leaves. Dustin walks out the door and gets out and maybe not even half a block down. And he's like, Oh, I forgot something comes back inside. Nick is standing at the oven and

zero clothes on on a stool on a stool cooking sausages kielbasa kielbasa so he's like whoa so here's what happens i'll be honest what a lot of times i would i'm running behind you know and i need to take a shower but also i need to cook so what i would do is i would turn the shower on because it would take a bit to get hot no one's there no one's gonna be there

So yes, I am naked and I am making sausage and I did get caught. And I was like, oh, and I just, you know, there was nothing to say. I just had to apologize. Can you keep your clothes on at least till the shower got warm? In hindsight, I probably should have. Yeah. How excited were you for the shower that you were like, I just got to get ready, you know? It was, it was embarrassing. I had to get off the stool in the same kind of, I'm sorry. I'm holding a lot of different things, you know?

I mean, it's so great. You probably didn't get much time alone in that apartment, right? No. So the second you're the only one there, you're like, I'm going to make myself at home finally. Well, what's so funny is like Nate and I would play video games until four in the morning. And then we just wake up and we're like, hey, how's it going? What's up? And we just, you know. That's what Nick would always say. Because Nick's always like talks to you like he hasn't seen you in a few years. Yeah.

And so we would play video games. We'd go to bed, wake up eight hours later, and he'd be like, what's up, man? How's it going? I'm like, Nick, you're the last and first person I'm talking to. And you're acting like I've just already had a day ahead of me. Like, how is today going? But Dustin walking back in is just the best. Like, just, I mean, how quick...

Because he barely was gone. Yeah. Within a couple minutes, you were just waiting for him to leave. Yeah. And you had a plan. I was getting ready for a show, you know, and I had limited time. Yeah. Probably didn't need to make that kielbasa. I probably could have also kept the boxers on in hindsight. That wasn't saving a ton of time. No. But I was like, I got to be ready for anything. Yeah. And I like adventure. Would you have ate the kielbasa in the shower?

I may have. I don't even know. The other story I wanted you to tell, because you told us this weekend. Oh, yeah. Yeah. This is an unreal story. So we were in Cleveland and Pittsburgh. And the last time I was in Pittsburgh, this is years ago. I think when we were all living together, there was a little people convention there.

And it's the first time there. And now, you know, we go to little people conventions all over the country. This is a regional and they're not in the city. They're usually right outside the city. Like getting conventions there. Yeah. And it's like, or a hotel and we just take it over. It's like, you know, we take over the lobby. So you do regional ones. And then what's the, where's the big one at? The national one. That's where I met my wife is, is, you know, in a different city every year, but that's, you know, it could be 2000 little people, 3000 little people. Regionals are smaller. Yeah.

But it's still like a great time. So there's a regional in Pittsburgh and it's not in the city. But the Saturday, you know, a group of little people were like, let's go and see downtown Pittsburgh.

So this one girl, she has a new minivan. All right. We're all little people. Her dad just bought this new brand new, beautiful minivan, accessible van, you know, very expensive. So we go into downtown Pittsburgh and everyone's drinking, you know, and I'm not because, you know, it's early and I was just tired. So the girl whose minivan it is, she only had like one beer, but she was like, I probably shouldn't drive. Right.

I was like, I'll drive. You know, I'm fine. You know? And so now we're on the fourth floor of a parking garage that is on a very heavy, steep incline. Okay. Fourth floor down. And so I get in very confident. Okay. I'm a good driver. And I start the car and I, you know, put it, I put my foot on the brake now.

And I put it in reverse. Now what happens is the pedal extension falls off the brake. So you have to, you put an extension on. So I drive with pedal extension. So it's like a regular pedal, but there's two extended bars that attach to the pedals. One on the gas, one on the brake. So when I put the car in reverse and I put my foot on the brake, it's

I don't know how, but my foot just knocks that brake pedal off. So now all of a sudden, within a second, we are just full speed going backwards down on the fourth floor. And there's a guardrail where we could just go over five little people in this minivan. We're just dancing.

dead. So real instinct, I'm like, look, I got to save us. So I just start hitting cars on the way. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I'm slowing us down and I hit seven cars and now I get out and you know, she is just like,

I cannot believe this. This is the brand new minivan my family has been saving for. And I just hit seven cars. I smashed. So now we have to just sit there and wait to tell all these people that I, along with these other five innocent little people, just smashed and destroyed all these cars. I mean, just so many people walking out like.

Seven people. Like, I mean, possibly 15 people are walking out and you're like, how you doing? Did you park on the fourth floor? You got to ask him. Yeah. All right. Well, we probably got some news for you. And then we got to get back to the hotel later because this is the convention. Yeah. And that's like the talk of the conference. Every little person knows what happens. Like everyone's mad. Yeah.

You know, this family has been saving up for this minivan. And this is years ago. We're talking about 15 years ago. But I actually saw that girl. You know, I see her all the time. But a couple of years ago, she's like, you know, we're still paying off for that. Oh, poor girl. Oh, man. You know, the insurance is not happy. Yeah.

I mean, well, it's their fault. I guess the... Well, it was an accident. So luckily, it was all covered insurance. There's a lot of stuff asked. Why don't you just press the brake? I mean, real time. See, that's the thing. I could have just let go of the wheel and just jumped under. But then what happens? If that doesn't go good? The van stops and doesn't hit? Yeah, probably. Probably that was the best idea. But I was like, real time, I'm like, I'm going to be a hero. Bam, bam, bam, bam. In Reverse.

In reverse. I like how you switched it up. You didn't just stay on one side. Well, it's not. It's like there was car, car, car. So I figure if I hit this one car.

Hit the other car. So I'm zigzag hitting. You're like an action movie, dude. Like that's like an action movie does that. And when we were Batman. Yeah, I am Batman. So when we were in Pittsburgh, though, everywhere we were going, I was like, is that the parking garage? You know, just like I just wanted to see it. Yeah, that's a great story. Yeah, so good. I mean, it's like it's these stories that you just they don't stop. Yeah.

You should write a book. Yeah. How to park a car. No, just the story. Did you guys just wait all day for people to come out to get to their car? I mean, it could have been a couple hours. I think eventually we just started writing notes. Hey, sorry. I'm trying to explain it as quick as I can. There was a pedal extension problem. It wasn't my van. I made a bad decision. Yeah.

And no one even knows what it is. And then you start writing it all out in one, and then the third letter is just like, sorry. Yeah. Did you talk to the people that came out? I mean, yeah. A couple of them were pretty surprised. Yeah. Were they super mad or are they cool? People are cool. They realized it was an accident. Yeah. Right. And every other little person was like, he's an idiot. We should have never let him drive this. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, and we talked about your eyesight earlier. You're still going to that doctor. And then you do this. Oh, it's so good. Well, this week we figured a fun one, and Nick is good to have on with us about. We're going to talk about the universe. You have a lot of universe questions. I do. Yeah, a bunch. Trying to figure it all out. Trying to figure it all out. Also, I did want to say, because I just found out this...

now, but I was nominated for a Critics, the 27th Annual Critics Choice Award. Whoa. There you go. Congratulations. I know, it's crazy. Congrats. I'm the only one clapping. Only one clapping. No one cares. I clapped once and he's like, what are you doing? Best Comedy Special in the world of all time. God, that's what it says. It's Bo Burnham, Joe Firestone, James, James, James, James Acaster,

Joel, Nicole Johnson, me, and Trixie Mattel. And it's, yeah, it's crazy. That's very nice. I mean, you know what's crazy is like, I told my sister, so Abigail started working for us last week. And so today I go, like, first of all, I got a text about it. Like, you know, the Grammys was like, everybody's calling me.

And then I just get a text about the Critics' Choice Award. I'm like, so we're just texting? No one thinks this is crazy? And then I told Abigail, and then Abigail goes, oh, that's great. What do you want for lunch? Same sentence. I'm like, are we not? And I called my mom. I said, well, I'm going to call my mom, the only one that still will make me feel very special about this. Because it's insane. That's crazy. It is. Very nice. Who texts you?

Like my management? Yeah. Yeah. Like my publicist, Rob Greenwald. And then so he texted me and he's the one that first, he just sent the list. And then I was like, well, I don't even know what that is. You're the only one who, I mean, those are all totally different people from the Grammy nomination. Yes. So you're the only one that's doing multiple nominations. Yeah. Well, Bo's got a Grammy nomination, but in another category. Yeah. But yes, for the comedy special.

Bo's thing was great. But yeah, dude, it's crazy. It's insane. And that's because all y'all watch and listen to whatever, you know. It's all them. It's everybody. It's the audience. A lot of critics out there. And when is the awards? I think I just saw it. I think it was January 9th. Or an email. I haven't... I didn't know.

January 27th Annual Critics' Choice Awards will take place on Sunday, January 9th at the Fairmont Century Plaza in Los Angeles.

So, yeah. It's exciting. It's pretty awesome. We'll be in L.A. a lot in January for awards. I know. I know. I got to see what we do with this. I guess I don't know if you go or like, you know, it's like some of the stuff I can't ever tell. You don't know if they're like, no, no, we just, no one cares about comedy. You might say that. There's a great chance of that. Like, no, I don't know. You can hang out. You can be a server if you want to serve the stars, which is around all the other stars. Yeah, it's crazy.

So, yeah. And then also, another little fun fact we just found out. So, we made a little stock. Me and Nick had to run to the bathroom real fast. Aaron Weber here has never peed on an airplane. Never have. I've been flying a lot lately for whatever reason. Yeah.

I never have. We were talking because that's the first time in like 80 episodes that we've stopped to use the bathroom. Did you know that? Yeah. The first time we've done that. Yeah. So then Nick was saying he like, you know, he has to time it on planes and stuff. And I've never done it. I don't know what it looks like in there. I feel like for me, I have a feeling like when I can't pee, that's when I need to pee. You know, I have that like. Yeah.

I wish I had gone. Yeah. I'm truly amazed that he's never peed on a plane, though. Yeah, that's crazy. That's like, you know. It's from Alabama. They just started flying a couple years ago. Yeah.

That is true. I didn't fly a lot as a kid or until the last couple years, but I've never flown more than like four hours. You can hold it for four hours. For four hours? Yeah. There's a very old man way to say it. For four hours? You go four hours. Shit, man, with my large prostate now. Yeah. From my house to here, when I walked in, Nick saw me. I was like, I got to go. Martin Short has a great joke. He says...

The only time I don't have to pee is when I'm peeing. That's good. Yeah, it's Bart Short. Very funny guy. Probably going to make it. Yeah, I'll go to the bathroom and then I'll pee on a plane. What was I going to say? I was going to say something. I don't know. I was on a flight once where something upset my stomach and I had to go to the bathroom.

Oh my gosh. And by the time I came out, open the door, there was a line halfway. I mean, I went back to my seat and there were still people in line beside me. Cause the line was so long. Wow. They're just looking at me like you did this. They just know here he is. What do they say? Walking dead. Uh,

dead man walking was you on southwest i can just picture southwest no this is actually a flight to japan oh yeah excuse me excuse me pardon me excuse me i mean at least though there's a lot of bathrooms if that's like a small regional and then it's like you know there were two

Two bathrooms. Wow. First class one and then one in the back? No, there were two on each side, but in two long rows. It was a big foot, but my row, it was all the way up. Did everybody, before they went in the bathroom, the person after you lights a cigarette and blows it in just to go...

everybody lit up and see, this is back when people would smoke cigarettes. I'm going to fight to Japan. You find Pan Am over there. That's so good. I never, did you ever follow people smoking? When did they stop smoking? When did they stop that?

I'm guessing the mid-90s. I want to say 90s. That's my guess. Oh, really? Yeah, like I don't remember it. I remember we never flew. I didn't fly until I was older. But I flew once when I was five because we had a funeral. And I kind of remember that flight, but I don't know if they smoked. 1990. They started to roll out regulation on it in the 70s. Oh. And then by 1990-

that no smoking sign was permanently lit up on all domestic. I would have, uh, if they still had it, I would, I would have flown like now I would have been like, well, I'm gonna go take a flight where you can smoke on it just to see what it is, you know, just to be like, let me say, let's we do economy club and they spoke and you're like, well, you want to see it. You don't love it all the time, but it's like, I don't know.

Nate's just smoking a cigar, you know, hanging out. No, I mean, I don't smoke that many cigars, but you're the cigar guy. Yeah, I do love smoking cigars. Yeah, and then, but yeah, I don't know what I was trying to say. It's my opinion. I've had to use the bathroom once like that. After going to Mexico with Laura, but it wasn't, there was no, like I got in and out, but it was like, right when you leave, you know, Mexico, it was like, it just hit me and it was like bad news. Mm-hmm.

And then you got to run. I mean, you're just in there. You're just so embarrassed, you know? Yeah. Cause people keep, you hear them. Yeah. On the door trying it. Yeah. And they can't hear you go. Someone's in here. That happened to my friend once we went from Mexico and Tijuana back to the U S and the border crossing was a long line. So you could take a bus and you pay like 10 bucks and you know, and then you're, you're through way quicker.

And my friend that we were there with ate like a street hot dog the night before. And it was a problem. And so they had this little –

bathroom and it's an emergency. And now this is like overcrowded bus of people trying to get back in and he is in there and then there's a stop. So it's not like it was supposed to just be like, we're in and out in 20 minutes. We're on this bus for three hours and he's in there for about a half hour. He comes out, there's families like mad at him. They're yelling at him, you know, he has to sit back down, sweating, sad. Hmm.

It's the worst. You want to tell your temple story? Oh, gosh. You don't want to tell it? I mean, I'll tell it. It's funny. We're in college. Yeah. This is a long time ago. I can't wait. So, I mean, I'm not proud of this story. It's a college story. It's a college story. Rutgers? Temple. This is Temple. This is Temple. Okay. I'm lactose intolerant, so that's part of, you know. Let it out. Let everybody know. Who I am, I'm lactose intolerant. I can't have milk. I'm the annoying guy that's always like, can we hold the cheese? Yeah.

So I ate, you know, I went on a date with this girl and it's, you know, we're eating something and there happened to be dairy in it. And I did not know that. So we go to a bar and we're all hanging out at this bar that is overcrowded. Mind you, there's one bathroom in this bar and it's a college. It's a college bathroom. It's a college bathroom in like, we're talking about blocks and blocks from anything else.

OK, and so we go in there and we're kind of partying on this date with this girl. And it's a problem. And I know I need to. It's like this is not a problem that can last. You start thinking about others. Yeah, I'm starting to think like, where can I go? I need this is this is going to happen right now. Now there's 15 people in this line and the door doesn't even close all the way.

Into this bathroom. Yeah. And I'm on this date and I'm starting to sweat and I'm still trying to like, you know, I'm not, you know, I'm like dating is not like, you know, the easiest for me at this time. And I'm like trying to be cool. And, and it's like, I now have seconds from when this is just uncontrollably possibly problem right here, you know? And,

So I ended up having to just go around the bar. And mind you, this is North Philly. This is North Philly. North Philly is definitely a lot better now. But at that time, there was like abandoned buildings and there would be grass. And you're blocks away from anything else in a really dangerous area. But there's just grass outside the bar. And so I just, I'm like talking to this girl. I'm like, I got to get a call. And I'm just like make up like a call. Cell phones are not invented at this point. Yeah.

And so I run around, I,

I had to run around, and unfortunately, that was it. Just out in the grass. Out in the grass behind this bar. Oh, my gosh. What'd you do then? Did you just go home? Well, they have a baby together. Yeah. We're married. So basically, I came back in, and it was, you know, the day kind of ended pretty much. I was like, I'm sorry. Bye. Yeah, I got to get out of here. Here's my business card. Call me. That's so funny.

And just like, I mean, you're getting those points though. And you're like, what are you going to do? You know? It just, you know, I had no choice. You had no choice. You got to think everybody, everybody on earth has that moment. Like billionaires have been in situations where like they, it happens. Absolutely. You got to go. Yeah. There's no, yeah, there's, it's, it is what it is. But I'm still just, I can't believe that he has the ability to be like, well, I'm not going to go. He can hold it for hours. Like there's like, maybe there's like a deep seated. Yeah.

I drink water. I'll get a Diet Coke on the plane. One of his parents yelled at him, like, you will not go. It's like a deep seated. You can't. I try to go right before I board. The short flights I get, I've started drinking. This weekend, I started drinking so much water. I think I'm going to end up just eating better out of pure like my body just won't let me.

Like that's what happens. Is that what happens? You just have no choice. You're like, it is what it is. Like I can't, like I started this weekend. Like I think I drink water. And then for the past month, I've been like my, I feel like my gums, like I just felt like, I'm like, oh, I'm dehydrated.

And I finally figured it out. Like after I was trying, I was like, what could it be? You know? And finally I was like, I think I'm dehydrated. And so I started drinking, like try to drink four liters of water. So I drank this weekend. I was drinking four liters of water or the past two days. And I would just pound them. And I'm like, almost like can't even get myself up to being dehydrated.

But it's like, I'm just keep pounding water. And like, you're just like, I guess I have to drink four liters of water. Do you feel better after doing that? Yeah. I mean, I would say I just feel lightheaded like after a show and I was like, well, maybe I'm not eating like I should or something. And then I think it's this, I just think it's water. I think I was so, I think I drink water, but then you really look at it and you go like, I ain't drinking water. Like I have, I fill one cup up a day. Like, you know, I have sips of water and then I have Diet Pepsi. And I'm not even drinking a ton of those. I drink,

I was drinking with a meal, so I might have two to three a day. And then, you know, so it's like, yeah, I'm just not drinking. And I realized that. And food now is like, it's getting close where you can start feeling it. You're like, it just makes me too tired and I just don't feel good. What, two in the morning? Did we not eat fried stuff? I didn't. That was like self-control. Yeah, I ate a burger. I felt it in the morning too. I had that burger late. Yeah.

Yeah. I got a coffee like at five o'clock before the show and Leah said, I can't do that. I'd be up all night. And she says, is Nate, I said, Nate will have a diet Pepsi at midnight or just whenever. Right. Like you never stopped. Oh yeah. But it's going to, it's, it's wrapping up. You can feel just everything's just kind of like, all right, dude, you know, you did, you really, you don't have a choice. You can either fight through the way you feel and just ignore it and be like, or you got to go like, oh, and I've realized now with how everything's,

getting so busy, I won't be able to do what I want to do. So what I, if I want to keep going ahead and I want to keep moving forward and do all these shows and blah, blah, blah. If I keep eating bad, I'm not going to have the energy to do it. And I'm going to, you get, you're going to get sick. You're going to get, it's like, it's, you're miserable. You're not in a good mood. And then, you know, and I mean, the hydrogen thing was crazy.

I was like, my mouth is so dehydrated. And it's been like that for a month. And I just kept thinking, what is it? And it would help, you know, I drink something and then it would go good. And I'm like, I think it's all just caught up. I haven't ever been, I haven't been drinking water for like two months. And so then it's just like hit you. And then you're like, well, it's done now, you know? So we'll see.

I've been pounding it. I've always been just amazed. I mean, living with you, I literally for years had not seen Nate drink a sip of water. Like, I mean, he's like brushes his teeth with Diet Pepsi. Like he does not know no water. Yeah, the pictures show it. Old pictures show it. I mean, that's even like I didn't. But back then when you're younger, you don't feel like.

you don't feel like I never paid attention to my body. Like they tell you to listen to your body. And like, I just never told my body to shut up or eat McDonald's. I'm the boss of this. Don't tell me what to do. And then now you're like, Oh, I can't do, I mean, look, we had the buffet. I ate horrible this weekend. We had those burgers last night. I was starving. We didn't have, I didn't have anything. Uh,

Today I'm eating something for lunch that's a little bit better. Like, you know, you just got a chicken salad sandwich. Yeah. I don't even really eat those. It's like at least we're working our way down to like, that sounds like an adult like lunch, you know, it's crazy. All right. The universe. Let's dive into the universe. We're just one little piece of this big, big universe.

We're just a little small spec, Nick. Yeah. I feel like we should have Elon Musk. The blue dot. Try to tap him in. Yeah. Tap him in. Call him. You got a connection to Elon? I wish I did. Well, how are we going to do that then, Nick? I don't know. All right. Did you say blue dot? Yeah, the pale blue dot. Pale blue dot. That's Carl Sagan. Right. And when, I think it was the Voyager 2 was leaving our solar system.

And everyone had just been shooting the camera out. He's like, turn it around and shoot it back toward us. And there's a picture of just how small and insignificant we are. So who was out there? That's one of our Voyager 2, one of our spaceships that we've sent out. It's now left our solar system.

And they're like, we just sent it. Are people on it? No. No. We just sent one out there. We've talked about this on a previous episode. They put gold-plated records on there. Oh, yeah. This is the thing that they do. Yeah. And it'll go on, they think, for centuries. Yeah. Maybe forever. It'll hit nothing. It just keeps going. Yeah. That's so crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

But he wrote this thing about how everything in the history of mankind, every life, every heartbreak, every... It's very well put. It's happened to that little bitty pale blue dot. You start thinking about it and it's pretty crazy. Yeah, it's like every king, every war. Every peasant, everything. Every love, every heartbreak, everything. I mean, it's like someone could just grab it and go, and it's over. Yeah. Pretty wild, man. Yeah. These numbers are so vast. I think about that sometimes if I step on an ant. Yeah. You're like...

just a tear just a what's the share murder no yeah but uh shears yeah what's the rest of the sentence and we'll see i don't know the rest i think it's a pretty important word the what is the tear share or something like that the fear the sheer terror the sheer terror okay

Of that ant? Of that ant. Yeah. Sheer terror is a good word. Yeah. But I didn't know how to, what was I saying? The opposite. The tear sharer. Tear. The tear sharer. Tear sharer of when an ant's, because you think you just walk and then you, the ant,

He doesn't know. If a tire runs over an anthill, you've got to be like, what is that? We're just demolished. The whole ant family. They don't even know. They're still looking into it. The detectives of ants are still like, they go, I don't know. We have these flashes of darkness. It happens a lot. Get low to the ground.

The ones that builders up too high, they're like, you can't do stuff like that because you will get run over. Yeah. Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. Yeah. It's a great movie. It's the same idea. Same idea. We're all little looking up, you know. A shoe could kill us at any time. Anytime. That's a great movie. It is a great movie. Yeah. I need to watch that with my daughter.

Speaking of new movies with this theme, though, how about Don't Look Up? Have you guys seen the stuff about that? No. What is it? It's going to be a Netflix movie about a comet coming from outer space. Yeah. Leonardo DiCaprio. Jennifer Lawrence. Oh, man. And it's coming out soon. And it looks awesome.

That stuff's fun. I feel like that's the way stuff's going to start going is like a little bit more that kind of thing. Like these movies, you talk about aliens and like, you're going to see it now. Like once all those aliens come out and they come out with stuff like that, then you realize like, Oh, this is like what we're starting to do now. I feel like they've been doing that for 50 years. Yeah.

Yeah, but like aliens have come out a lot this past year. And so I feel like people's mind, the writers kind of go like, oh, like, you know, we've never talked about aliens like we have in this last year. I mean, we're saying that they're here.

And so, like, I feel like writers are kind of like, now you're like, all right, what about, you know, your mind just creatively goes that way. I remember when two Asteroid movies came out at the exact same time. Great movies. Deep Impact. Deep Impact and Armageddon. Yeah. Came out almost back to back. I don't know if I saw Deep Impact. Is that great? It was pretty fun. It was one of my favorite movies as a kid. Armageddon, though. Morgan Freeman's president. Yeah. That's always good. I love it. Yeah. Never saw Armageddon, though. What? What?

He's never peed on a plane, never seen Armageddon. You think there's a connection? Should do both on the same plane. Yeah. The universe is so big. There's a lot of numbers here. You can be like, there's no way they know that. And you're going to be right, I think, because you're like, how would they know this? So the universe is 13.8 billion years old, according to scientists. Well, how does it start then? Like, that's all of it. You go... Well, the Big Bang happened 13.8 billion years ago. And then everything's just been expanding out.

How did the big bang happen, though? Well, that's the ultimate question. I mean, that's all like it's just crazy. They should just go like we think. That's what I wish they would do. Yeah. There's no way of us knowing. Someone could be like, this is what we feel happens. But because then you're like, what happened before that? And they're like, I don't. No one knows. Yeah, exactly. There's no way of knowing. So we're here.

Some Christians believe the Big Bang, but they feel like God still did it. Yeah. He was in charge of it. Yeah. He got it started. Yeah. Like a switch? Like a match. Like a match. He didn't mean to. He was too close to the gas pump. Oh, yeah. He's got his people over there now. He just...

It's 93 billion light years across the universe. People talk about light years like we all just know light years. I know. People go, how many light years? And they go, oh, okay, five light years. And you're like, you know what that, you wrap your head around what that is? I don't know what a light year is. It's how far light can travel in a year. And light travels at 186,000 miles per second. That means nothing. It does mean nothing. It's just so vast and

And that's just the observable universe because light can't go faster, faster, nothing can go faster than light. So, um, it's still taking time for it to even get to our eyes. Yeah. That makes sense. So how, what are we in here, this room and looking at this light? Just fast. Zero negative light years from this light. Is that what you would say?

Basically zero light years. We're like light seconds. You mean the distance from us to the lights on the ceiling? We're like, is this a light second? You can probably just use feet. If you're talking about that. 10 feet. How's it travel though? If you had to describe in light years, so does it go down to months? We're light months away. Like, you know, the sun. Right.

The sun is light months away from us, but something would be light years away. Is there one light year? Well, yeah. Sure, yeah. So then what's below one light year? Half a light year. What's below? When does it just stop? So is this zero light year? No light. No light. I'm saying, is there not a light month? I don't think anyone's ever thought of it in those terms, but yeah. They should get into it. The sun's 93 million miles away from the Earth, so it takes sunlight eight minutes and 20 seconds to reach Earth.

So it's seconds. So it's eight light minutes away. No. A light year is a unit of distance, not time. Okay. So 93 million miles is a fraction of a light year, right? Obviously, because it doesn't take a year for the sun to get to us. It takes nine minutes. It's hard to get your head around.

Yeah. It's also hard to, you know. Just say you don't want to go any farther. That's all I would just say. Like, that's what I wish the scientists were like. We're not, you know, they want to just say I'm dumb and they should go like, we're just not doing that much of it. Like, you know, you get the general idea of it. And I'd go, okay.

At least you're acknowledging that we're... He's like, yeah, it would go farther, but it doesn't. Also, just the 96. Who could ever fact check that? No, I think it's 38. Nobody could. Nobody. Whoever decides that is like, this is what it is. But they're giving you something to talk about. I get that. They're going like, this is the best guess. And the university is expanding, and I'm like, we're expanding into what? Like, what's out there? I mean, you know what I mean? Yeah. The balloon's expanding. There was something before it got there. So what is that?

Yeah. Take walking into a dark room and you're like, is this room bigger than I think? You got to turn the light on and see. That sounds like something smart. It's got that. It just goes back to lights on, lights off. Walking in a dark room, you think it's a big room. Well, maybe turn the light on. It ain't as big as you thought it was. And then people are like, what? I got no idea.

Sounds good. There's two trillion galaxies in the universe. Wow. Two trillion galaxies. So we're in a galaxy. Yeah. The Milky Way galaxy. Everything you see in the sky at night, that's all the Milky Way. That's just us. That's just us. We got our own thing going. Named it after a candy bar. Well, I don't know which one came first, but we named our planet Earth. We named our galaxy Milky Way. Solar system, still a solar system. We didn't name it.

Well, I guess we named it the solar system. But I feel like that's like galaxy or planet. Yeah, it's like a generic term. Yeah. We never gave it a name. Didn't give the sun a name either. It's sponsorship. Well, the sun is the name. It wasn't like they go, that's a sun. What should we call it? Yeah, because... Because the sun's a star, so... Yeah, other solar systems have suns.

Yeah, but not our... I know, but they don't have our son. They're not the son? Well, we're only talking about the son you can see. So if you start seeing the other son... What do you mean?

Well, you want to see these other suns, and you're, we're talking about, you know what I'm talking about when I say the sun. Sun's bright today, you don't go, which one? You know, you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, I know which one's ours. Yeah, yeah, you see ours out there, you see it right, it's coming through this window a little bit right there. That's our sun. It went 93 million miles to get right there. Just to go, hey Aaron, I'm here. There's 200 billion trillion stars in the universe.

Yeah, feels about right. Yeah. I see about 12 of them every night. You can see if you're out. Cloudy, I see zero. $200 billion trillion. And I mean, just one cloud, you get zero. Yeah.

We can see about 6,000 of them. Yeah. On a, I guess. An average day at night. Wow. A clear night. Yeah. I took a cosmology class. I see the same ones every time though. Yeah. Those are the brightest ones. Yeah. It's fun using that app where you can, the Skywalker app. Yeah. It's awesome. And when I went to Australia, you can see planets there that you, I mean, stars there you can't see here. They don't have the same stars.

What's a different hemisphere? They have a different sun. Different side of the earth. Yeah. Wow. You're like, what is this? Is it weird? Yeah, there's no... Toilets go the other way? Yeah, there's no... Is that true? There's no Big Dipper. Oh, there's no Big Dipper. I think that's right. Yeah. Because we're in a different hemisphere, so you can't see it. Huh. Huh. Do toilets go the opposite way? That's a real thing? Why do they do that? I think we talked about it. I forgot. Something about the hemisphere, the equator. Something about the gravitational field of the...

I learned about that from the Simpsons, that episode. Anybody seen that where they go there and they have to spank Bart? Yeah. No. No. I may be mixing up that episode. There is a great episode. I watched a video of a guy with a toilet, and he's at the equator, and he has it on the north, and he flushes it, and then he moves it 10 feet over and goes the other way. The guy brought his own toilet.

And he can make it flush. It doesn't have to be attached to anything. I don't remember exactly how it worked, but I do remember. You sound like a scientist right now. Yeah.

Where does the water go? Just trust me. I know you don't. Just trust me. What were you saying a minute earlier? I took a cosmology class in college. Sounds like makeup? Which is not cosmetology. Beard trimming? Cosmology, which is just about the origins of the universe. And there's a planetarium on campus. And I remember one of the first thing, pretty much the only thing I remember from that class was they put up what it looks like if you're on a clear night on Earth.

what all the stars look like. And then they go, now we're going to increase the brightness of all the stars that are too dim to see with the naked eye. And they just gradually, and then the whole screen was white. Yeah. Because there's just so many out there that we can't see. Yeah. And y'all go, wow. And you go back and chug beers and do video games. Stand in line for Notre Dame game. Yeah. I mean, that's a waste of all that time. So y'all can go, wow.

That's what we did. This is probably the farthest that information has ever gotten. This is most people it's reached. Like who would, you know, it was worth it, I guess, for this class. Yeah. So it's like just a bright room. You go, yeah. That lesson alone was worth four years of going to school. Yeah. And then you went to your friendship class. Yeah. And I went from right there to friendship.

Um, some people think we're a computer simulation. This whole thing, computer simulation. I like that. This, uh, it'd be fun if we were. This philosopher, um, said that he thinks we're simulation. Elon Musk says he thinks there's an excellent chance that this is one big, like the matrix. Have you seen the matrix movies? Yeah. And they're, but yeah, new one coming out. New one coming out. Uh,

And so the idea of the Matrix, that's what they are? Mm-hmm. So that's not a real world? Right. I watched all three and I don't know if I got that. I mean... There's like someone on a computer on the outside? Yeah, there's an architect and he's created the whole world and then, you know, Neo and a few other people, they take the whatever pill that shows you the truth and... Oh, the red pill that shows you the truth? Mm-hmm. I can't remember which one, but the other one just lets you go on and live in your life. Oh. You don't know any better. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. All right. I get that movie now more. You said that. The whole red pill, blue pill thing is like one of the most fun. Take the red pill. Take the blue pill. That's like the best choose your own adventure thing out there. I think I just watched them take pills and I don't even think I thought into it. I don't think I deeply think into stuff. I was just like. Taking an aspirin. I mean, I guess I get the general. Like, I don't ever think about it. I don't watch a movie like that for some reason. I don't know why.

Well, I miss a lot of major plot point. I know, but I don't, it's, it's, it's, I don't think about, I don't like deeply think about some of this. Like, I'm just like, I don't know if it's now it's like when I'm, that's why I'm going back and watching all these old movies is like, cause I'm just like, kind of like, I'm not even in it really, even though I'm like, I enjoy it and it's fun and it's fast and that's what I want, but I'm not watching it going like, I can't believe that was about to happen. Like, I don't, but I don't know why, like,

Is it, you know, I don't know. Is it getting busier? Is it, you know, whatever it is, it's like nothing's like sticking with me. So I can watch something and basically, that's why I can rewatch the same thing over and over. But I could have a problem. Could have a cornea problem. Yeah.

That's how he could learn Kung Fu or how to fly a helicopter or whatever. They would just upload a program to him and he would immediately learn it. Yeah, this all makes sense now after seeing the movie. I think if there is one of the, not Neo, Neo was the Keanu Reeves, the other guy.

Morpheus? Morpheus, who was like the controller of everything. I think that's Elon Musk if there is one of these things happening. He knows how to do so much crazy stuff. Like he's already planning how to shoot rockets into asteroids right now.

But that would be like God. Well, there was an architect that Neo confronts at the end that's just a white guy with a white beard or whatever. But yes, that's what I was about to say. I think... But to me, that seems like God. Yeah, it would be like... God is the architect of this world. It'd be like whatever you... Yeah. So it's like you're making it this, you're making it this, you're making it that. Everybody's making it whatever their thing is. And then it's like... That's no different than religion. I agree. Yeah, if it's a computer. It's so funny. It's these scientists who don't...

don't think there is a God in that, but now they're like, no, I think this is a simulation. There is someone behind it. Well, that's kind of what we've been saying the whole time. There's a designer behind the thing. They take it a step further. Now they think there's a glitch in the matrix because of some stuff had been happening. Like what? The Brexit vote, Trump winning,

the Falcons up 28 to three in the Superbowl and the Oscars when La La Land was announced, but then it got corrected. So there's not supposed to be mistakes. Yeah. They, well, I mean, this is ridiculous, but they think there's something weird going on, you know, cause all these things are happening that shouldn't be happening. Not, not nine 11 or,

Hurricane Katrina, but the Oscars getting mixed up. Yeah. The La La Land thing is like, so a guy can't misspeak? I mean, he was, Warren Beatty was 90-something years old. You're like, that looks like it makes more sense than if he got it correct. Yeah. If he got it right, it'd be a glitch. Yeah. I want to just make a statement that I believe in God, not Elon Musk, because I'm getting my daughter baptized and I don't want to be like, wait a minute, we saw you on there talking about Elon Musk. Well, you're going to have an Elon Musk...

pin on when you do it you do your own private elon musk you're gonna drive there in your tesla man we know make sure we post that clip of nixon yeah elon musk is god yeah um but no they're like they really feel like if there's a architect where it could be his kid with a joystick just messing with this let's make it back get back these are people's lives down there

So when all that weird stuff started, I mean, weird stuff happens throughout history. But those are the examples they gave. Tom Brady making a comeback against the Falcons. Yeah. They're like, that could have happened. It couldn't have. Yeah. Greatest football player of all time. Greatest football player of all time. Won another Super Bowl in another conference division. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, they even break down the Super Bowl how it didn't make sense because the Falcons run defense and all this stuff. There's a glitch in the matrix. I think anybody takes any idea and then there's people that just go, they're like, oh, I'm way in on that. And they just kind of look at it.

Then it makes it fun because it makes it a fun thing. Imagine just refusing to admit that your team's not that good. You have to be like, I think there's some kind of glitch in the matrix right now. It's like an Atlanta program. Hear him out. Hear him out. Guys, I'm going to get out of here. This is getting too heavy. Just hear him out.

The Falcons head coach, that was his excuse at the post-game press conference. Something's wrong with the simulation, honestly. Honestly, I don't know. I think his kid, a dog, ran over the joystick. We had that game won. And Belichick never smiles after the Super Bowl. He's like, I don't want to give it away. Yeah, he knows. Another movie about to come out, the Spider-Man, new Spider-Man movie is about parallel universes. Yes.

And some people think they're parallel universes, alternate universes. One example that they cite, in 1954, a man showed up at the airport in Tokyo. His passport showed him from a country that did not exist. It's called Turad. And he said he's from there. And they said point it out on a map. And he pointed it out. And it was near France and Spain. He could speak different languages. They couldn't find it anywhere. So they thought maybe something's up.

They put him in a hotel room and guarded the hotel room until they could figure out what to do. The next morning, the man's gone. And he was on like the sixth floor or something like that. He was completely gone, disappeared. So people say maybe somehow parallel universes, they got crossed up and he ended up in ours. And he's in a world in that world where it's called a different country. Yeah. What if they... A, what if they...

There's going to be no B. There's no glitch. No, I said, what if they all, like if there's another universe and they all know and we don't? Like, do you think they all, like would they know? Or we're just all sitting over here like, we're the only ones. And then we're the last to know. Or they could be. Yeah, well, I mean, if we're all on the same timeline, I guess, future them might know, just like future us might know. Yeah.

I mean, the argument is there's multiple of us doing different things. Just one decision we make and another... One lady said that she came home one day and she had a different boyfriend. She thinks it's because of the parallel universe. But I think she just was hooking up and that was... Yeah, it's crazy. But to me, again...

The universe is just so infinite that it goes on forever. I don't even know why parallel universe seems like a big thing. It seems like if it just goes on forever, eventually it will be another one of us out there. Yeah. Because the reason there's life on Earth, they say, is because it's just right. It's not too far or too close to the sun. Yeah. Not too hot, too cold. It has water. You can have life. Well, if the universe is infinite, somewhere along the way, there's going to be another... Sun. Sun.

that's going to be just the right distance. Well, how come there's no planet that works around the sun? What about Mars? It's too hot. The Martian. Huh? It gets too close, it's too hot. I know, but there's not one on our exact number. Earth. Yeah. I think, well, I think... I don't know why there's not another Earth there, you know. You mean out in the universe? Yeah. Well, we just haven't found it yet, is what they think. Could it be on the backside of the moon? I mean, the sun? Or they could even be...

Well, we go around the sun. That's right. So we would see it. Unless it's moving with us. Unless it's moving with us. So it's always over there. That's true. It's always right behind the sun. So it could be right over there. We just need to look. We need someone to go out there and just look around there. Well, we're going to inhabit Mars in our lifetime. He thinks we already have. People will be there. Yeah, we're up there. And I think one of, was it Saturn's moons? Europa? Europa.

That is right. That has water on it. That is, that is, they think so. We talked about that in the oceans episode, but they think there's water underneath. Yeah. So there's a, while Mars, what is on there? They think we can live in Mars. You'd have to do a terraform. People are trying now, man. Oh, you'd have to build something. You would have to change the whole atmosphere to be able to live there. That seems like a lot. Yeah. Yeah. To change the whole atmosphere. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I could see like someone's up there, but you know, what's his, didn't the Martian, he couldn't walk outside. No. You can't. That's what they want to do. Elon Musk wants to build like a bubble that you can live in, in Mars. But if it, what if a hole gets punched?

you patch it up yeah i think it's like multiple whole like bubbles yeah they're also talking about terraforming where you like spray stuff in the atmosphere kind of like global warming but it causes it to be more like dim the sun yeah you just bring a lot of plastic up there you know like here's our recyclables yeah you just hire a bunch of people that can set up a nice tailgate that's all we go to we gotta we

We go to the Alabama game and just recruit people that have the best tailgates. You want to go to Mars and build one of these up there? Yeah, I'll do it. I mean, some Christians believe that's proof that we're special and that God just created us and that's why there's no one else out in the universe. I don't think those have to be mutually exclusive. I think God can make other living creatures and still be God. Yeah. But... Did...

I was saying the Spider-Man movie, like it's very, that commercial for it's very funny that when, uh, cause he's like in like Kansas or Iowa or something and there's nothing to grab to. And it was like, he really did. You're like, yeah, man, Spider-Man really is, can only be city. Yeah. Like you can't do, he couldn't get across, like just do your crimes in upper, like the state, New York, upper state. Yeah. What do you call it? Upper New York or upstate New York.

do the crimes up there. And he's like, well, y'all can do whatever you want. I mean, I can't get there. Yeah. I'd have to take a bus. Yeah. Literally a bus. You can't fling around mailbox to mailbox. You know, he's like getting nowhere. He's just lying private. Yeah.

Yeah. He's just doing mailbox to there. And he's like, basically like just on the ground. You have to do someone's behind him. And he's like, I got it. This is a doubt. One's a big farther away. Mailbox. He has to sometimes just run in between and then get it going again. I mean, he's just like, really? I've never thought about it. So that commercial was like, man, he's really a one.

He needs a city. Why would they keep doing the crime in the city? Just leave the city. It's done. That's what the action is. Is this Spider-Man to the Spider-Verse or the cartoon or the live action? I don't know if I care, but Brian, go ahead. This is live action and from what I can tell from the previews, all the previous villains that all the different Spider-Mans have fought all somehow come into ours because the worlds have opened up and

Well, when you're riding your 40th Spider-Man, you got to start coming up with some stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's true. Time travel. That's a real thing. Is it? Well, we think it's real. What do you think would be harder to do? Go to the past or go to the future?

I would say the future. Well, I guess the future would be easier because they probably already have it. So the past would be harder. But for us, like if we had a future is the only one that's theoretically possible, right? All right, Aaron, you're too smart. Like, just let us answer. Let us get the dumb ones out first. Yeah, you're correct. I would think it seemed like it would be easier to go to the past because it's already happened. Just because you've seen Back to the Future. What is that?

It would be easier because it's already happened? Because your memories are already there. It just seems like, from a logical standpoint, maybe you would say illogical standpoint, if you're going to make it time, like, it seemed like it would be easier to go to the past. Yeah, your memory's already there. Then go to the future. Would you go, like, I feel like you would go back to, like, the...

West Wilson Fair in like 19... Me? Yeah. Oh, I would. You would choose something very just you-related local and just watch your same memory. You wouldn't go learn anything. You were looking at Aaron and I thought, that sounds unbelievable. Yeah, I know. I think you would go...

It would just be like first year of the mountain. You'd go to the West Wilson, not even the main fair. Yeah. Fair. You'd go to Knoxville when they did 1982. You'd go back to the world's fair and see that. Yeah. Yeah. See that sun sphere. Yeah. I'd do that. I'd go back and try not to hit all those cars in the minivan. You know, I'd go back. I'd go back to help you out in that moment. And like, just, I wouldn't drive, but I would just say, just push the brake. Yeah.

We could stop 9-11. I'm going to go to the fair. And you're going to go stop yourself. We're going to have a wonderful, nice day out. Time travel is theoretically possible. It's kind of happened, travel of the future. The faster you go, the slower time speeds, time happens. So...

Um, they put two clocks, we have one on earth and one in an airplane and the airplane traveled around the world. And when they got back, they were slightly different times. Hmm.

Does that make sense? I mean, I don't know. Like, they were like, the battery's good. Everything was like, my watch gets like off all the time. Einstein said the faster you travel, the slower you experience time. So one clock stayed on Earth. The other flew in an airplane. After the airplane flew around the world, they compared the two clocks. The clock on the fast-moving airplane was slightly behind the clock on the ground.

So the clock on the airplane was traveling slightly slower in time than one second per second. It was in the Bermuda Triangle, right? Wasn't there problems with clocks and stuff? I think so. Yeah. Clocks wouldn't go. Yeah. They would just stop. Like time would stop. They wouldn't go. They would refuse to get on the plane. And we've talked about those astronauts, Scott Kelly, Mark Kelly, the twins. Yeah. And we talked about how one of them was shorter after he got back. The one that was on the International Space Station going 17,500 miles per hour.

um his time slowed down so he's he was six minutes older or the other one was six minutes older now he's six minutes and five milliseconds older oh wow yeah that adds up man i mean how do they even know that i guess they just well they know the theory so then they cut his leg uh counted the rings his knees like your knee hurt yet he goes not yet he goes now it does i'm five milliseconds ahead of you yeah he's just got a great beard yeah

So in theory, if we ever could get to the point where we can fly at super, super speeds, we could... Faster than the speed of light? Well, traveling in time. Because we'd be traveling so fast that like in the movie...

What's the Matthew McConaughey movie? Interstellar. Interstellar, where he goes out and then he comes back a little bit later. His daughter's grown. I don't know if you saw that movie or not. No. But that was the reason. I think that was because of gravity. You'd love that movie. Yeah. It's fun. It's so much fun. It is so confusing, though. I've watched it. It is confusing, but it doesn't even benefit you to think about how it's working. You just enjoy it. Just enjoy it.

Um, because gravity increases, uh, um, the speed of time. So physicists at the National Institute of Standard Technology placed two clocks on shelves, one 13 inches above the other. This is what scientists are doing. And measured the rate of ticking and the lower one ticks slower because it felt gravity slightly stronger. Hmm. I mean...

So that's why you're aging less than the rest of us. I have a reverse aging. Yeah. That could be one. I had a security guard last night in the casino and he's asking for my ID and he's like, you know, you look a lot younger than you are. I was like, well, thank you, I guess. And he's like, no, no, I don't mean that because you're small. I just, you look a lot younger. You look younger. I was like, well, thank you. In the movie Interstellar, one hour on a planet near a black hole is equivalent of seven years back on Earth.

So that's why they had to get on that planet, go as fast as they could and get back, right? Yeah. Yeah. On what? In...

In the movie Interstellar, they were having to go... Did you just ruin the movie for me? No, no. No, that's not the end of it. It's not like a spoiler. I don't think you can ruin that movie. It is... I literally... I had like three people trying to explain what's happening in the movie and I was still like... At the end, I was like, I like the special effects. I don't even know if we're talking about the same movie. Interstellar? Yeah. I thought we were talking about Armageddon. Yeah. No, it's a fun movie. All right, I'll wrap up on some depressing stuff. How it all is going to end.

Bad news baits. Yeah, bad news baits. A couple theories. The big freeze. Boom.

The university expanding so much that it'll just blow over the big freeze. The big freeze is the university expanding so much that eventually we'll just be too far away. Everything will cool off and, and, uh, the world, the universe will just die from freezing. If, uh,

So like the sun just keeps going away? Well, I think everything's just separating from each other and eventually we'll be all too far away from any heat source. And it'd be like just slow? It'd probably just be like...

I mean, like if we go a little bit, we're in trouble, right? If we moved a little bit away. From the sun? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So we can't move at all. I think we got some wiggle room. Like how much? I mean, it varies pretty wildly depending on what time of year it is. Yeah. So it's not like we're an inch away from freezing to death. No, not an inch, but we couldn't live on any of the other plants in our solar system because they're either too hot or too cold. But they're pretty far away. Give us a chance, you know?

yeah like we got yeah i like that we have wiggle room yeah that we're like we'll be okay yeah but how crazy is that though when it gradually starts happening like what it feels like in alaska becomes arizona yeah oh yeah and you're like we probably can't live in alaska yeah you can't i mean it's like then you're you know you just gotta be the opposite then you gotta go to florida what happens in arizona becomes alaska if it's freezing

Yeah. And we're talking about billions of billions of years. What happens in Arizona happens in Alaska if we're freezing. What? It's the big freeze. We're going to get colder. So he said Alaska would eventually start feeling like Arizona. No, no, opposite. Arizona is going to feel like you're in Alaska. That's what I said. Yeah. That's what I thought he said. Who's on first? The other one's the big crunch. Oh, yeah. Oh, you know this? Is that where it comes back? Yeah, like everything's expanding out like a stretching and then you're like whoop and come back.

Oh, like a rubber band. Kind of, yeah. So that means there's an end to the universe, if that's true. Yeah. So we're in like a room. Mm-hmm. And then eventually it just... That would probably be quick. Yeah.

We all just would disappear. And some people will think that this existence that we have now is only one of, like it continuously just does this. Yeah. Back and forth and that we're just in one wave of it now. Yeah. You know? Like you have a bad day. Don't worry. You're going to have another chance. You're going to have another chance at it. A hundred billion years from now. Yeah. And so it's like it goes like that. And then, yeah. So you don't want to, so like we're probably good because we're not too far out.

But like when, in a lot of times when people start figuring out more galaxy stuff, eventually they're going to be like, this is not good. I think it's the end. I think we're getting close to the end. I think we're going to shoot back any second now.

You just snap back to the Big Bang. Yeah. Hey, you know. Another way they say we could time travel is wormholes, which I barely understand. I saw a show where they talked about basically from here to here, you can bend it like that. No. Bend it the other way. And go there. Yeah. Get there that way. Somehow you can bend space and time. There's something in Vegas, like a loop, that's supposed to use part of this, right? Yeah.

There's a Vegas loop, Elon Musk's. There's a roller coaster on top of a hotel. The Boring Company. The Boring Company is one of Elon Musk's. And it's doing like a hyper loop that's going to allow you to use. Yeah, it's not bending space and time, but it's using. It's close. Bending something. Something. Something's happening. Something. I think that's like the bank air shoot where you shoot the thing up, but I don't think it's.

quite that yeah it's yeah it's uh just like a fast ride similar some people think ghosts are people in the multiverse or the parallel universe that are getting crossed over yeah and you see an image of them you're like that was a goat well that was a person that it's kind of bleeding over so the ghosts are all like i'm sorry

Sorry. Yeah, my bad, man. Or maybe they're just as confused as we are. Like, whoa, what was that? And we're ghosts to them. And we're ghosts to them. Yeah, we're ghosts to them. And if we would come together, we could win. Work some stuff out. A win. I thought we were going to get along with it. We could destroy them. No. Well, I think we would then win. Why are we crossing? So then we're like, then we go fight. Who's ever making us cross? Yeah.

I don't know. Can you imagine you and Nick in that apartment and there's two other of you that are also sharing it? I mean, that would be great. There's another naked Nick. Four naked Nicks in the kitchen. Y'all go to the bathroom over there? He's like, no. Asking ZZ questions. So the crunch and the... The big freeze and the big crunch are two of the popular ways that scientists think that... Is there more or is that it? Oh, there's a few. Those are the two big theories. It's...

Is there more on the universe? No. I thought you meant about the way the universe ends. No, I meant the way it ends. Yeah, those are the two big theories on the way. And the don't look up thing. The asteroid is like the, no? That's the way it would end for us. We're talking about for the universe. Oh, for the universe. I was thinking about us. So I was thinking about us. So they think an astronaut could hit us.

Because an astronaut's... An astronaut. I think an astronaut could have us. That could happen. Technically it did when they come back and they fall in the water. Well, one theory I threw out... Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

It's probably killed some fish that way. Yeah. How'd you die? Astronaut hit me. Astronaut hit me. It's like that lady that got hit. Yeah, by that debris? Yeah. She got hit by an astronaut. Astronaut threw it up in space. Buzz Aldrich just punched her in the face after. Yeah. There you go. I'm going to finish you off.

One theory. I don't know what you're talking about. What is that about? Maybe he was mad at her. I don't know. She should have moved. Yeah, should have moved. I was going to say one theory why we haven't found anyone else. And I threw this out when you said civilian station, so it kind of got bled over. But that advanced civilizations out there probably did something to destroy themselves.

nuclear weapons or something dumb that they wipe themselves out. So that's why we can't find them because, or why you haven't heard from them because at the time they get advanced enough to let us know they're gone. Yeah. Or just never left their planet. Like we could, if we just never left Earth, we'd die out, right? They just never left. Yeah. Go to a different place. But there's somebody here doing something. We've seen those images, right? Mm-hmm.

What? I'm talking about the spaceships. Yeah. The Tic Tacs and all that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're over here. Would you rather be aliens or China and Russia have something so advanced that they're way ahead of us? Probably aliens. I mean, I think, you know. Why would you want the... But if they're here, then they could easily just wipe us out if they want to. Yeah, but at least... We don't know their motives. You know, it's not one of us. Like, I feel like...

Sean and Rush is us. We're all, we're going to have to call Pepsi and be like, hey, you still got those subs? Hey, get some back. Callback king. Yeah. All right. All right. Let's end on that. Yeah. Do you have stuff coming up? I'm with Henry Cho this Saturday in McMinnville, Tennessee at the Park Theater. Yep.

I've got a show in Charleston right after Christmas. If you're in the Charleston area, I'd love for you to come out. Check my website and stuff for details because I don't remember any of them.

Me and Nick will be in Vegas. Yes. This Thursday. This comes out Wednesday, right? Yep. Thursday. This Thursday. Very excited about. Yeah. Come check us out. Me, my dad, Nick, Vegas. And also check out, we're going to be announcing the 2022 Easterseals Disability Film Challenge. So if you follow us at Disability Film Challenge, we've got some exciting stuff coming up. But.

But I can't wait for Vegas. We're going to have such a good time. It's going to be fun. All right, everybody. Thank you so much. Everybody that's come out to these shows, I love you. We love you. Thank you.

Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land podcast.