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Hello folks, welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi, here with Brian Bates, Aaron Weber. We're excited to be here. We're having some work, we're building a pool, to be honest, in our backyard. So if you hear something, I don't know if you're going to hear it, it's kind of stopped right now, but it's my buddy Backyard Living in Mount Juliet. We're going to be talking about

John Paul. Yeah, we've talked about him on here before. Yeah. This is your childhood friend, right? Yeah, it's his company. That's awesome. Yeah, they're great. He doesn't need your business, though. He does. I still think it's very funny. I think that would be a very good business to start a business and just be like, before you answer the phone, you're like, just heads up. It doesn't matter if you stay or go.

All right, what do you need? Put them on the defensive. I'll be okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's up? So what do you need? You sell me. Yeah. Why should I do your pull? Why should I come to your, you know, what is it? Yeah, that's funny. I'm also wearing Buc-ee's. If you're watching it, I have a Buc-ee's sweatshirt and a hat. It's a little, it's quite a bit of Buc-ee's. But I went to one this past weekend, first time. It's a good one.

It's pretty crazy. Pretty crazy. Have you been? No. Yeah, it's crazy. I didn't look it up. I didn't know. I went in blind. And I mean, it's wild. We went to two of them, one in Terrell, something, Texas, maybe. And then one in something else, the one in Alabama. I think there's only one. But it was awesome. Like it was, it's a whole big, I mean, what is it?

It's a gas station. But it's just like a big shopping center? But it's like a Cracker Barrel gift shop that's like the size of a Walmart almost. It's enormous. Yeah, it's very big. There's a beef jerky bar. They're famous for their beaver nuggets. That's what they're called. So you can... Yeah, we ate there. We had the pulled pork. I mean, we went twice. And we're going to Texas this weekend, so we might go again.

it's fun dusty slay who's been on the podcast he went to one for the first time he called me and he was like what what is that yeah he could not wrap his head around it he goes what's going on in there man it is wild you should stop there's one i don't think i mentioned stuckies on here a few weeks ago and you said you mean buckies and i met stuckies but i don't think i've ever been to a buckies you wouldn't know if you've been to buckies it's big yeah but there's none in tennessee

They're building one. In Cookville, I think. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, on I-40. Or Chattanooga. They're going to be all over soon. I think that's the new model. Yeah. Turn your gas stations into experiences. And there looks like there's 100 gas pumps. Wow. There probably is that many. Yeah. It's awesome. You should go, Brian. Yeah, you should go. All right. It's fun. All right. Well...

We had a great time this weekend. Dallas, all the shows were unbelievable. I got a lot of comments on the podcast, some stuff I wanted to ask you about. New Orleans show, a lot of people said there was a heckler. Oh, yeah. Guy walked out. When they walked out, they'd go, boring, and then walked out the door. Right at the beginning of your set? Yeah. No, no, like in the middle. Wow. The middle. Opened the door. I saw them. I could see. I didn't see. I just saw the doors open. There's two. There's a couple. I mean, super loud.

Shut the door and left. I heard you had a good comeback. Yeah, I said that was my parents. It was fun. They said, you said, I've sold out two shows today. I feel pretty good about myself. Yeah, that was a lot. The show was going pretty well probably at that point, right? It wasn't like you were bobbing. No, they were super drunk. Chase, our merch guy, was out drinking.

front he saw him that guy was like you know there's a guy there was a problem the whole time like he was a problem at the beginning before he even went in they were him and his wife they were just super drunk there was you know you're in New Orleans you get a little little flair uh I haven't had it in a while so but it was you know it is LA show I had a lady that was just I kept talking the whole time uh

But, you know, it's usually alcohol. It's like that. You always just feel bad because everybody's having fun, too. And, like, you're – I mean, the show's going really good. And so then you just – you know, but, I mean, the crowd was great. They get – you know, I mean, everybody's like, yeah, it's ridiculous. But it's fine. We moved on. It's fun to see you in those moments because I feel like you're not combative enough.

At all on stage, right? Your act's not combative. I don't want to make that... Right. You're not inciting that whatsoever. I don't think that person woke up the next day and probably thought, I'm glad I did that. Of course not. And so I don't want to make that person feel bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just don't want it to happen. It's like they're in their own world and they're doing it. Right when it happens, you just got to get back into your set. It's a little frustrating, but...

Yeah, the last thing I want to do is just yell at this person. They leave, they left, and then the audience clapped when they left. I mean, it's obvious that no one wants them there. Every show is great. Pensacola is great, New Orleans, and Texas, and Dallas, Grand Prairie, Texas, Dallas. It's the biggest show I've ever done. Is it the Verizon? Texas, no, it's Texas something.

A school, TCU. Maybe it's a TCU, Texas Christian or something like that. Something like that. And then, yeah, what does that say? The Verizon Theater? No. Is it? In Grand Prairie, I think it's the Verizon. Oh, I thought it was like Texas. There's something else called Texas something. Verizon Theater. Yeah.

But it's the biggest show you've ever done, right? The biggest show. I want to say it was around 5,800 people. Wow. Oh, Texas Trust CU Theater. Texas Trust CU Theater. Yeah. So there you go. Texas Trust CU Theater. That was on the wall, the sign, the building. I mean, the building was so big, the traffic. So I would tell people what we're learning. I mean, that was the biggest show I've ever done.

And it was unreal. It was crazy. They were amazing. I messed up. I told one joke kind of backwards at the beginning because I was a nerd. Not that you don't get nervous, you're excited, but it's kind of daunting when you walk out. And then you're like, oh, I got it. I mean, it's so big and it's so many people.

And, you know, like if you're in New Orleans, that was 1,500 people. So this is...

four of those shows in one show. And then, and I mean, I love every show. Like it's, you know, but it was like, it's just such a different thing. And I told like, I have a turtle joke up atop. If people have been to the shows, they know what the joke is. But I told it like kind of backwards. I like ended up like skipping one part of it. And then I had to get that part back in before I got to the other part. Cause that's a part that I, uh,

call back to later. It's like one of those, it's like important jokes that you're like, well, if I don't reference this, I, then I can't reference this thing later. Oh yeah. And so I had to like, I like just skipped a part and then, then I got it back in. I don't think anybody noticed, but it was one of those in my head. You're like, there was doing acrobatics. Yeah. There was like a lot going on. I was trying to get, and I had another joke that I, it was kind of at the beginning. And then it just, then I was like, I settled in and we were good from the rest. And,

And I don't think he might notice, but it's like, it was like, it's crazy. It's, I mean, it's a lot of people. I don't even, it's, uh,

Yeah, you look at them all and you're like, good. I mean, good night, man. Like, it's like, you can't believe these people are here. So many folks posted photos from there. Yeah, they're just, I mean, it's the best. Everybody's the best and they're the nicest. And I love it. I love it. That's why I love like even, even like that guy in New Orleans, they got boring. It's like the whole crowd like gets it like they don't, we, I don't get a lot of that.

And knock on wood, I don't want to get a lot of it, but I don't think I'm going to get a lot of it because the people that come out are great people. They're me. I'm not to sound like I'm saying I'm great people. But they're me and the fact that I'm never going to go to a show and yell. I have no desire to do that. So it's a lot of good people. Great average Americans. A bunch of us greatest average Americans. That's what we are. Just everywhere. And they're all over the world. Just us.

Even if you're in another country and you listen to this, you're the greatest average American. Are you the greatest average of whatever your country is? That's what you can be. We're all just that. That's what we all are. Sorsa Gorb. Sorsa Gorb's doing great. Wherever you're at. Wherever he's at. Spain, right? Yeah. He's the greatest average of Spanish. I mean... Spaniard? Spaniards. Oh, okay. Uh...

I did a Grand Ole Opry this weekend and it went great. And before the show, I was in the dressing room just looking through my phone and someone follows me on social media posted there at the Grand Ole Opry. It's a Facebook. I don't know the person. It's a Facebook friend of mine. But in my mind, I thought they're going to lose their mind when they see me walk out. Then I even went as far to think, I bet they drove here to see me. They were from like Indiana or something. Yeah. I get off stage.

And I go look at my phone later. They've posted photos of the people before me and the guy right after me. Yeah. Never posted. And I couldn't let it go. So the next day I was like, looks like a great show. Who else was on it? They never replied. Yeah.

I don't know. We went to the bathroom for a while there. We're Facebook friends. I was on the show. Never, never posted it. Yeah. That's great. Well, they were paying attention during your set, Brian. That's why they weren't taking pictures. Music, you can tune in and out. Who cares? It's in the background, right? Comedy's active. Yep. That's active listening. Yeah.

Yeah, that's a good point. That's what I would tell myself. John Schneider, I told you, Bo Duke. I wanted to meet him. It didn't work out. You didn't meet him? No. I mean, I could have, but he had just a ton of people with him. Did you just creep outside of his dressing room for a while? Basically, yeah. Poked your head in. Moving along, buddy. John, we got this older fella who wants to say hi to you. He remember when y'all show came out, when he watched the pilot. Yeah.

John, you come over here and then you got a magazine and you're like, will you sign this? Like Carlos Groves? Yeah. He's like 65. John, we got this older fella. He wants to meet you. He goes, I don't know. He's a little... You mind signing something for him? Yeah.

Show went well though, man. Yeah, it was great. It was great. Yeah. Everyone there's so nice. I did a crazy run with Dustin Nickerson. We had a show in Pittsburgh that got canceled because of that crazy storm that came through. Yeah.

We did Liberty University in Lynchburg. A bunch of podcast fans were there for that. That was very cool. It was the first time I walked out and a bunch of people yelled, let's go. I'm the opener. I'm like, oh, this is amazing. And I met them. I was like, make sure you tell the headliner you came for me. Make sure Dustin knows. And then we were in Napanee, Indiana, Amish country. A lot of Amish people at the show.

And then we're in Black River Falls, Wisconsin, also an Amish town. I'm deep into the Amish community. I'm trying to blow up. In the Amish. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be real slow word of mouth. Yeah. It's going to take time. It's going to be the old fashioned. I'm trying to go viral. It's going to be just letters. You know. Letters.

Yeah, dude. They're going to write to each other about me. I saw this guy. Black Wolf. Golf is out there. Whistling Straight is out there. Yes. And Dustin said he'd been there with... Yeah, there's a lot of golf out there. Black Wolf has a golf course. Okay. I'm not... I can't remember for sure. I need to look it up. But...

Black Wolf, did you stay at that hotel? No. So that hotel, I did a corporate gig. You know my act, I have a joke about not even turning the light off in the hotel room? It was at that hotel. Oh, wow. I'm almost positive it was that hotel. I need to make sure because I was going to start saying the hotel and the joke. So if someone's seen my act, if I talk about doing a show in a hotel, I'm almost positive it was that Black Wolf hotel. I played at that course. I can't remember.

There's an, there's an old hotel right there. That's like a popular hotel. So they were doing the corporate gig there. So I got to stay there. Super nice hotel. That's the one we showed on the Jay Cutler episode.

I don't know. Yeah. I don't remember. Was Jay Cutler on this podcast? So, yeah. But that's amazing golf up there. Yeah. Not a lot of golf being played right now. It was unbelievably cold. Yeah. Feels like negative five. Yeah, we got caught. We thought Pensacola was great. It was kind of rainy, but it was not really cold. New Orleans was like there were one week of cold was the week we were there. And then Dallas was –

It got a little warmer in Dallas by the time we got there, like 40, 50. But they just were coming out of a major storm. Felix, the neighbor Felix, I met, I know his parents. His parents and brothers, they all came to the show. Yeah, they brought us a king cake, which was, they're unreal. King cakes are fun, dude. They're so good. It has a baby in it. Do you know about king cakes? No. It's a Mardi Gras thing. Yeah, it's so good. They're so good.

there it's, but the, the two that had a baby, we, I, I, I wish I remember the name. I don't remember anything, but he gave us two, but they have a baby in them and you ever gets the baby, it's good luck. And then I didn't get the baby. It's a little plastic.

I think most people don't do it now because people would eat it. Yeah, you got to make it big enough to where you can't choke on it. It's not. I guess. It's pretty chokeable. I mean, if you got into it, I'd say back in your heyday, you're like, you know, I don't think you can now, but I think... Getting after it. I think when you were getting after it back in the day, I think you could have got one down. Not even knowing it. I think everybody was like, I think you would have...

walked back and got your money back not knowing the baby was in your your tummy excuse me sir uh you promised there'd be a baby yeah well maybe when another person got it well that'd be funny because no one else ate it but me and ate the whole thing and i didn't see a baby and you go what were you hauling it back yeah i put it into work for sure yeah

All right, let's start with some stuff from you guys. Christina Audrey. I get so excited when I see Nick on the podcast. The vibe between Nate, Nick, Aaron, and Blip is the best. I look forward to spending part of Wednesdays with you gentlemen. Keep up the great work. Thank you, Christina. That's awesome. Very nice. Ty Schultz. I had a rough week. Hit play on my favorite podcast, and I see an empty chair. Wear bingles.

Usually sits. Nate says, solve that problem. That is the hardest I've laughed in years. Thank you guys for the continuous source of laughter and joy. Y'all are the best. That's why you do it. I love that so much. People love that. Getting a nice, you know, a good laugh. It's not much. If you can get them, it's like, it's the best. Austin Thrift says,

What kind of world is it when you can't even berate a close friend and call them a cow in front of thousands of people without getting hate from the general public? Austin gets you. Austin gets it, dude. Yeah. What kind of world are we living in? If someone just watches this and they go, who do you call a cow? They're never going to guess it's him. All right. That's very funny. Well written. Sorry. No. Yeah. No, that's right. I just said you ate a baby too. We're not off to a good start. You know?

I was just watching the old roast of, we're talking about the way comics act to each other. I was watching the old roast of Patrice O'Neill. That's at the Boston actually. Dustin Chavins here. Yeah. Have you seen the full video in good quality now is on YouTube. Yeah. And there's a part of it that's just brutal, dude. Bobby Kelly's up there. He has a video of people kind of trash talking Patrice. And then he goes, Hey, while I'm up here, I let my video camera to Steve Byrne. Oh, I know this story. Last week.

I heard Steve Byrne tell this story. Oh, really? He recorded it at his SNL audition, and I think we all need to watch it. He just plays it, and it's just Steve Byrne in his apartment doing Bruce Lee and stuff. It's so brutal. I don't know if I'd ever forgive him for that. It's crazy. That's great. You've heard him tell that story? He told it on Pete Holmes' podcast, and he said Bobby edited it out. He left in the worst parts and edited it out.

The good parts. Not that it wouldn't all be awkward to watch. That's so funny. That's why in New York, you just couldn't leave anything. It's like Ari Shafir. You can't have your phone be unlocked. Can't tell him whatever. If you're around Ari, your phone has to be locked. I'm going to watch the time after. He did it to me once.

And then, and he, when you want, and he gets it, you got to get it back. And, you know, you'll be like, he'll just tweet something, put an Instagram. There's 350,000 people on Instagram I got. And you're just being like, what are you doing, dude? My whole life's, you wrecked your whole life. You just got to grab your phone and be like, don't put it down, dude. And don't like make sure it locks immediately. And it's sounds insane, but it's very hilarious.

But it's, it's, it's, uh, I mean, I've, I've watched people, I've seen him get people to like, you see someone's Twitter and then you're like, God, that's crazy. They said that. And you're like, you just know it's Ari. Uh, yeah, it's very funny. I mean, that's how, yeah, that was the best about New York, man. I truly believe that's what made New York comics. Like that's something that there's just no rules and it can be the meanest thing ever.

But the love is still there. These guys would do whatever for you. It didn't feel like they hated him or anything. It was just like, oh, this is so great. This is so embarrassing. It's like brothers. Yeah. It's brothers and sisters, and it's just a family that's just, we will...

You will get ridiculed. Steve Byrne would be the one that knocked, I remember, out of Carrot Top DVD and grabbed me. He goes, what's that? Just threw it on the ground. That was like a brand new comment. Now you could be like, why do I have a Carrot Top DVD? I don't know. I don't even remember what I did, but I like Carrot Top. That's why I had it, because I'm a big fan. Sarah Chia. C-H-I-A? I think so.

How hilarious is it that Brian used the band Bangles as his example twice when trying to clarify how Aaron and Nick say the football team, the Bengals? Does a young gun like Aaron even know who this is? I think I know one song by the Bengals. Oh. They have a walk like an Egyptian. Was that them? Oh, there you go. Yep. You don't have to do it. Manny Vowles. I was about to say Manny Vowles. That's a guy's name. Manny Vowles.

That would be a guy's name. Manny Vowles. Who's over here, Manny Vowles? He's in the mob. Manny Vowles are what's called diphthongs. That's right. Is it? Diphthongs, yeah. Diphthongs, meaning they naturally combine two sounds. We don't tend to recognize it when we're speaking because it happens so quickly. So when a short E slides into a word like with NG, like in penguins or bingles...

The practical effort is that we hear what we consider to be... Oh, what did I say? Effort. Oh, yeah. The practical effect is that we hear what we consider to be a long A. So that's her explanation of why I say it the way I do. Yeah, I checked out of that whole thing, and I read it, and I wasn't even... Yeah. I was in another home. Dip thongs, you're out, man. I was like shopping. I was at Walmart, looking into...

In the closed section, looking around, and I just kept reading it. That's what happens when I read. When I read a book, I mean, I'll go three pages and then be like, what? Where am I at? Yeah. And then you got to go back? You got to go back. Or you just keep going? It depends. I'll either quit completely or I'll, you know.

Last night I did good. I'm going back to Sopranos and I was riding myself. Sopranos book? No. Novelization of the Sopranos? Going back to the show. I put my phone in the other room. Oh, man. And then sitting there, yeah. I'm tired of my phone. Katie Visaggio. Bengals, not bangles, are bingles. Y'all are killing me. Shorty, guys. Shorty. Bengals.

As a reading specialist, I'm now convinced Nate is dyslexic, but I'm now also wondering about breakfast in A.A. Ron, too. Nick was right. So Nick's perfect. Right. Well, Nick's an actor. Nick can do what he does. He can do accents and stuff, too. Yeah, he knows how to do it. What is she saying here, Aaron? She's saying that the correct pronunciation is Bengals. Bengals. Like Ben-gay. Bengals. Yeah. How long?

Sorry, that's that old joke? Yeah. Sorry, that old joke? That's a joke from my heyday. Yeah. That was Brian's opening for many years. Jeremy Tidwell. Not to belabor the point, but the correct...

The correct pronunciation is Bengals. Bengals. Oh, it's that. My wife and I lived in Calcutta, India for a few years, which is in the Bengal region. The area is well known for its tigers, which still roam wild, but I'm still with Nate in Baltimore on the penguin debate. Hmm. Bengals. Sounds like he knows. I think if I was in India and they said, be careful, there's a Bengal out there, I wouldn't even know what I'd be looking for.

And I would be like, whatever. And then I'd be, and as it ate me, I'd go dead. So you say Bengal. Bengal. Yeah. Penguin. Bengal and penguin. So that's a pan. You're holding a pan in your hand. That seems like what a guy would say that there was a Bengal and he was dressed up as a man and he goes, there's Bengals out there. And you go, what's that? He goes, Bengals. And you walk up closer than he takes it. And it's a real Bengal. And then they eat you.

Will Bailey. Just help Brian out because I am intrigued. The Tony Award is short for the Antoniette Perry Award for Excellence in Broadway Theater. Apparently, Antoniette was big in the theater. I think it's Antoinette. Huh? Antoinette? Antoinette. Antoinette was big in the theater world around the time they had the first Tony Awards in 1947. Tony Award is short for the Antoinette Perry Award for Excellence in Broadway Theater. Well...

I'd go with Tony, too. Now we know. I would go with Tony, too, but I don't know how you get Tony out of... Antoinette? Antoinette Perry Award for excellence. I guess that's another word. Like, Anthony is Tony. I guess Antoinette is also another word for Tony. Yeah. Hmm. And then it's Perry Award for excellence in Broadway theater. I mean, it just ends up being a lot. Will Bailey is a West Wing character, by the way. Oh, maybe that's him. Maybe.

Matt Oregon. Hello, folks. Hearing that the Oscars are named after some lady's uncle, I'm curious to know what you guys think the awards for the Nate Land podcast would be called. My initial thoughts would be the Folks, the Felixes, the Source Gorbs, or maybe the Hollies. What do you got? I like the Hollies. Hollies is good. Because that's just, yeah, that's like it sounds like it. Yeah.

The Nades. The Nades. Like the Dundies. I like the Hollies. Hollies sounds great. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Amanda Garcia. I think I know Amanda. I think I met Oregon too. I think I met him this week. Yeah, he was at the Dallas show. Yeah, yeah. I met him. I talked to him and his wife. They were great.

Amanda Garcia. I was a seat filler for years. I remember how fast commercial breaks are in person and how much goes on. Nicest person I ever met was Tom Hanks. I was sitting behind him and he actually turned around and introduced his wife and himself before I could. He seems very friendly and humble and he was just as happy as I was to be there. I got lucky a few times, got seats where I never had to move. That's a whole big gig, seat filling. You met Tom Hanks, right? Yeah. He's super, him and his wife. Yeah. Did he introduce himself?

No, I was doing that show for Joe Walsh. But we went and met him afterwards, and we talked to him for a while. He's unbelievably nice. Didn't you say he made a very nice move by he offered to take a picture together? I hope that was him. I thought you said he said, we should do a picture together because he knows everyone wants it. Yeah. So instead of you having to ask, he just offered. It might have been him. I don't know. We did take a picture with him. That's such a power move.

Well, it's like I've had to ask. I asked a guy at Bucky's. A guy came up and I was like, you want to get a picture? You can just kind of tell that he wants to, but he's trying to be polite. Like I said, just ask me. I'll always take a picture. But I'll do it sometimes just because you're like, I don't want them to. I feel like they want to. I'm the Tom Hanks of comedy. All right, I'll say it.

No, but it's, yeah, it's very nice. It's like, it's just kind of, you know. And then I've had also the person goes, no, I'm good. Boring. Boring.

Frank Del Grosso. Hello, folks. During the awards episode, you talked about fans running onto the field. Last year, a guy made $50,000 prop bet during the Super Bowl that someone would run on the field. Then he ran on the field. A Mr. Meaner trespassing charge and $500 bail for a $370,000 payday. Wow. Wow. That's the thing about gambling.

Like there's got to be, like there's a lot of prop bets get very where you're like, well, a guy could be in control of that bet. And I mean, that's like right there. Like how do they, is there rules against that? Like it can't be you? I mean, I read the article. He got his money. But yeah, you're like your point. There's what reward shows where there's prop bets if this person says this word or phrase. And you're like, well, they could just place a bet on themselves, right? Yeah. I mean, how do you stop that?

I don't know. You know, if you work for the lottery or even if you're a family member of anybody in the lottery, you know that you're ineligible for anything. There's been a lot of scams of people. They win a lot. They have a winning lottery ticket, but they're ineligible, so they give it to somebody else, and then they collect the winnings through them. There's got to be something in place for that. Like, you can bet on what color the Gatorade bath is.

After the game, I could call up the equipment guy, make sure it's red. And then give him a part of the winnings? $50. No, no. $50. Yeah, I would think. I bet so many other people are betting on it that it's like maybe it evens out, but it doesn't really matter. I watched a guy. He had a four parlay, four different NBA games of who would score the first point on the game.

And it was a potential $70,000 win. And he got the first three. And then the fourth game was Porzingis. Oh, yeah. And he went up for a layup and just missed it, dude. The parlays is the new thing. I've just seen a lot of that. Guys are doing these crazy parlays and winning these big bets. It makes it really fun, dude. That's what they would have to do. Parlays would have to be... I think that's how...

I always said like, it's supposed to be this thing that, you know, it's like where it takes off and like, but they do need to make it where it's like, it's gotta be simple. It's gotta be, it's, it's hard to follow.

And it's hard to understand it. But parlays is super fun. You're like, oh, I could see that. And you're watching a bunch of random things. That's very fun. Yeah, I think they want you to do parlays. Yeah. Because your odds are so slim. But you see people getting them. But I mean, yeah, it can be a bunch of people. Jesse Rothacker. Several years ago, I got a flat tire, so I pulled over and called AAA. I know. I know.

I now, that sounds like I didn't watch Dumb and Dumber this weekend. He goes, he goes, the, oh, that's what that felt like. I know how to change a tire, but they did it for free as part of the membership. So I figured I'd let them get under my vehicle and get all dirty instead of me.

The operator on their phone said it would be a while until they could get someone out to me. So I decided to start working on it myself until they arrived. About 15 minutes later, the mechanic truck pulls up and the dude is like, you need some help? And I'm like, sure, I got it started. But since you're here, I'll let you finish it.

The guy doesn't really say much, but he finishes changing my tire while I stand back and do nothing. Finally, I'm like, thanks. Do I need to sign anything? He just looks at me real weird. Suddenly, it dawns on me. He was driving a mechanic truck, but never said he was from AAA. He was just some random dude being nice to another random dude with a flat tire. And I totally stood there like a jerk and let him do all the work changing my tire for me. I felt like such a moron. Yeah. That's great. That's great. I think guys will do it sometimes, but sometimes they want you to tip them.

Like, you give them cash, which I guess, that's getting hard. I remember when I got a flat tire once, which I met a tire, and they didn't have a tire. I rented a car. I was doing a show, and I was driving from Indianapolis, and thankfully the show was at 10 o'clock at night. And I got a flat tire pulled over on the side of the interstate. I'm on the main interstate.

And I pulled, I parked because they were like, I was going to just change it myself, but they didn't put a spare tire in the car. So I had to wait for the, I called the rental place and they came to get it. And I parked like they had a guardrail. And so I parked like kind of, I got it in front and back to kind of behind it. So, and I just took a nap, went to sleep pretty hard. Yeah.

But I had a few people stop trying to help. And offer to help. But it felt very much like, I was like, I don't have a tire. And so we couldn't do anything. But I think people just drive around and pray, you know, and they don't want some money. You didn't feel nervous, like, sleeping there? Especially if people knock on your window? No, I don't know. No, this was over 10 years ago. I don't think it was.

It was during the day, too. It was getting dark by the time it changed. I don't think it ever occurred to me. I locked the door and just – it's like one of those day sleeps in a car where the sun's hitting you. I mean, it was unreal. Best sleep I've ever had in my life. I was reading this just as laughing. I love that Nate said whirlwind instead of the actual word whirlwind. When talking about Matt Damon and Ben Affleck's year, they won for Good Will Hunting.

It's a worldwide win. It's a worldwide win. It's Leanne Carr that posted that. Oh, Leanne Carr. Yes. Yeah, it's a world. It is a worldwide win. It's a worldwide. The Oscars are worldwide. Yeah, so it is a worldwide win. Yeah, you were right. I was right. I was right. All right. That's it for. No. Super Bowl is here. We're all excited for it. The Cincinnati Bengals versus the Rams. I almost find either one. I kind of root for the Bengals.

But I like Matthew Stafford. I'm glad that he's there. Yeah. And so I'll be happy either way. Titans should be there. That's the only thing that matters. This week, what are we talking about?

Talking about advertising, we did philosophy, and I was under the impression that Aaron was a philosophy major. He really let us down with his philosophy minor. But now we're going to give him a chance to redeem himself. You're a marketing major, right? I was, yeah, yeah. And you worked for an advertising agency? I interned at an advertising agency, and I worked at a digital marketing company. So you hired someone? Jessica Hand? Jenny, yeah. Jenny Hand. That's where I hired her, yeah. My old company. Oh. Mm-hmm.

How did you get to hire someone? I was a manager, man. Oh, really? Yeah, it was like a five-person company, but technically I was a manager. Yeah. How long did you work there? Four years. Did you work your way up to manager or hired as a manager? I was not hired as a manager, but it's a pretty small step up at a five-person company. I think we just kind of said, you can start calling yourself a manager now. Yeah. So you've been here long enough. Was there someone above you? Yeah, I had two people above me.

And they don't do the hiring? Does the manager do hiring? They were, it was all involved, but we all, I didn't single-handedly hire. Yeah. And two underneath you. Did you say there was like five of them? I guess technically. I guess they were in the middle. I guess they were lateral. How old were you? This is, man, two or three. I mean, I was in my mid-twenties. Yeah. This is the music row where people would drop off their CDs. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'd forgotten about that. Yeah. I ever tell you that? My office was on music row, so it's in the middle of all these studios, so like,

All the time, some poor schmuck would just show up and be like, I'm here to drop off my CD, hopefully sell some of these songs. We're like, dude, because I just drove in from Texas. I wrote some songs. We're naughty. We have nothing to do with music, man. Sorry. Also, I don't know if this is how this works, but I hope it works for you, man. Yeah. To go find a different studio. Yeah. Here. Did you guys watch Mad Men? No. I never did.

I loved it. Yeah. Was it real? I mean, was it? Well, in your time, it was, I was obsessed with madman and that's why I wanted to work at an advertising agency. Cause I look like the coolest. It's like the coolest hang ever. It's pretty different now. It's a bunch of dudes and graphic teams with Nerf guns. It's a different vibe. They don't drink.

They do drink. A lot of these fun companies, you know, we got beer, free beer Fridays at 3 p.m. They bring a keg in and then everybody's sitting on exercise balls and that kind of atmosphere. So you think this is what has happened with the workforce today when everybody's having trouble? It's because y'all during your day, y'all started drinking, becoming full-blown alcoholics on every Friday? Yeah.

Yeah, it doesn't help. I think it's leaked over into now. Doesn't help. This is the end result is no one's around. I mean, this company, they're great people. Man, they'd like ride. These are adults. It was like razor scooters. They'd ride those around the office and stuff. What are we doing here? Yeah. What was the example of like a big,

company that you guys represent? Did you ever have an ad campaign go bad? Like somebody missed something? So the stuff, when I interned at a company, we had major, major clients. McDonald's, some stuff with Coca-Cola, companies like that. The company where I was a manager and hiring people by clients were plumbing companies, HVAC companies. And I had a couple colleges, I had a hospital.

We had some very small scale problems. What do you do an ad for a hospital? You're like, we, you know, we have the best crutches in the business. Yeah. Essentially. Uh, you're just trying to come up with a good, like, you know, you're feeling down, come to our hospital. We're closer. It's weird that our hospitals. Yeah. Are they selling stuff? Like you just, you know, you got to go when you got to go. So it's not like, I guess you just want to be like, Hey, remember us.

Yeah. You have an appendix burst? Come to us. Well, you think about that. That's a lot of advertising. It's just they want you to... They want to exist in your mind. Yeah. You know? Think about those, like, insurance. Who out there is actively searching for new insurance right now? Probably not a lot of people. But...

insurance I feel like every other commercial is an insurance GACO Progressive State Farm yeah any of those so I just want you to was it your idea to change Jake from State Farm from white to black was that your idea Aaron just answer the question it was not my idea but I'm glad they did it dude that's cool it's taken off it has been yeah

I brought an example. I was going to ask you if this would be... So I got my Titans renewal in the mail. It's time to renew your season tickets. Deadline February 15th. The guy here is Harold Landry. Led the team in sacks. Just played in the Pro Bowl yesterday. But he's a free agent. And he may not be on the team next season.

But he has until March 8th to make that decision. Wow. And you have until February 15th. I have until February 15th to find out if this guy's even going to be on the team. So could you say that's a bad choice? I don't know. You probably thought more about it than anybody. Probably, but yeah. I think you and Harold Landry probably thought about it the most. I would think it's a good sign of your Harold Landry. I would think he'd be like, well, we don't want him to go. I'm sure they don't, but he probably wants a big payday.

Yeah, well, they probably own the rights to that image, so they can use that image forever, right? Yeah, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying they're trying to get you to come back, and they're using a guy who's probably going to be on the team. I mean, I hope he is. Yeah. But I was just wondering if that's something you guys would think about when y'all were doing stuff like this. Why is he probably not going to be on the team? Is he for sure wanting to leave? No, it's just if they can have enough money to re-sign him. Yeah. I hope they do, but I mean, some team may offer him a ton of money, and he'd go with them. That's interesting. I don't think you can...

I would imagine with the Titans, you can't, or any team like this, you're like, you got to just put a picture on it. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. Like, you can't like overthink it.

I mean, there's plenty of players who will definitely be on the team next year that could have used. I'm not saying it's a big deal. It could have been like Derrick Henry. Yeah. But then it's like too much of Derrick Henry. Do companies think about stuff at that level? Yeah. 100%. When I worked in TV news and we would do promos, I mean, you've got to think about who is this going to offend? Right. People are now – I mean, I'm using the example. I'm not really offended by that, but I'm just – I'm asking –

Is that stuff y'all think about? Yeah. And I'll say that's the one thing I took away. One of the things I took away from the company I interned at in college, just the amount of levels this stuff has to get through. Yeah. Yeah. Of course, somebody talked about that. They go, is this the right guy for it? You know? How long did you work there? I worked there for a summer. Then I worked at that other marketing company for years. For how many years? Three or four, four years, maybe.

We're talking about advertising. We're interviewing like your 30-year vet and you started a company. When you interview at advertising companies, they try to, because I interviewed a couple, they try to throw you off by asking you crazy questions in the middle of an interview just to see how you think. So they'll be like, so Nate, tell me about, you got family out here? Yeah. What animal would you be if you could be an animal? Bingle. Bingle.

I'm ready for everything. You're hired. You want to keep going? No. Just ask me. How many windows are in New York City? 100,000. Give or take. Go. Give or take a bunch. I mean, just keep going. Ask me. Go to the... Because they got to go serious. They got to flip it back and forth. Yeah. If you had a billion dollars in cash, where would you hide it? In your mom's house.

laughter laughter

I think I would get hired. That's how you become a manager. That's how you become a manager. This guy's got solutions. You think twice. Yeah. I mean, what's the example of a question they would ask? Those? Yeah, they try to ask you crazy questions. You pay attention to the podcast, you'd hear that. I thought he was just using those as examples. Do you remember the scene from The Office where, I can't remember, I think it's...

Ed Helms, Andy's interviewing Dwight for Cornell. He starts asking him crazy questions like that. That is what will happen in those because they want to see how creative your brain can be. So it's kind of a fun exercise. You killed it, man. Yeah, thanks. You're hired. Yeah.

The first ad in human history was in 3000 BC. It was in Thebes, Egypt. A man named Hapu ran a clothing factory and one of his slave laborers, Shem,

wasn't happy and ran away and they couldn't find him. So he had a scribe make a sign advertisement using pepper as cloth announcing this guy's missing, gave his description, said he'll give you a gold coin if you find him and return him to the best clothing store in the land. Whole coin is offered. So this guy found a way to advertise his lost slave and mentioned he had the best place in town.

So it was like a wanted poster. Basically. Brought to you by the best textiles in Egypt. That's crazy, man. That's the first known one. Most expensive. How do they know that? Did they find it? Yeah, I think so. I think it's on display somewhere. Yeah. I mean, there was like Pompeii when the Mount Vesuvius erupted. I think they found like stuff written on walls, ads and stuff like that because it was preserved and stuff like that.

So they'll go find like interstate ads, like on bars eventually. Someday. Yeah. Like billboards? Yeah, but cricket. Just like a billboard that says cricket. They're going to find the ruins of a Bucky somewhere. Yeah. What was this place? It only had 100 gas station pumps. Can you imagine that little? And down there. Watch commercials do a thing where every time that you go see a watch commercial, the hands are either at 1010 or 820.

This is done so you can always see the brand written on the watch, and it looks like a smiley face, which subconsciously gives a positive reaction to consumers. So say 10-10. Like that. Yeah. 10-10 or 8-20. Is always what? Oh, that's how. The hands are always. Oh. Wow. Wow. That's crazy. You say that it looks like a smiley face? Yeah, that's what it's, according to this. Yeah. What?

I don't see where a smiley face is. I don't either. I'm trying to find it. But it's interesting that it's all 10-20. Yeah. 10-20 or... It's kind of like... Yeah. What kind of smiley face is... Oh, it's going up. Yeah. All right. It's not perfect. You said 10-20 or 8-20? 8-20. 10-10 or 8-20. 10-10 or 8-20. Oh, these are... All these Rolexes are 10-10. Yeah. 10-10. There's an 8-20. Yeah.

No, 835. What is Fossil doing? Fossil's got... Timex. Yeah. What time do you think your watch would be on if you sold watches? It would be on, what's a frown? What's a worried look? Yeah. Four... I can't even think. Upside down. It'd be cracked. 435? With a crack in it? Yeah.

Marlboro, when they started the Marlboro Man, they increased the first year 3,000% increase from the previous year. That was probably a good ad campaign.

Prior to that, they used like doctors to promote. That's a solid ad campaign. Yeah. Doctors telling you to smoke. Yeah. So we don't go back to that time, man. I think I got it. I think I sent you an ad of a doctor promoting a cigarette. But then they went to the Marlboro Man, and that seemed like it was the first time it made it look really cool. The first Marlboro Man, actually five of the Marlboro Men have died of lung cancer. Five of them? Yeah.

How many have there been? Six. Really? I don't know. Yeah. Not for long. What if there's like a hundred of them and you're like, oh, well. It's not too bad. It's not too bad. Yeah. Maybe like the sixth guy, you're like, ugh. Arnie, the brand, the nickname Cowboy Killer. Were they... So this is an old advertisement from, I can't find the year on here. More doctors smoke camels than any other cigarettes.

He's one of the busiest men in town. While his doors may say office hours two to four, he's actually on call 24 hours a day. The doctor is a scientist, a diplomat, and a friendly, sympathetic human being all in one, no matter how long and how hard his schedule. I don't know if I believe. Well, why is your office hours only two to four? Like that's in these guns called 24 hours a day. Of course, you're barely in the office. This whole ad is not even to make, you know,

Like, they almost were like, they got this guy and they're like, do you work all day? He goes, yeah, dude, it's all day. You go, all right. But your office hours, like, because people don't walk by this all, we could have made up these hours. But they're like, let's be honest. What days are you actually here? He goes, I come in 2 to 4 p.m.

But you're on call 24 hours a day? He goes, yeah. I mean, essentially, you could call me at any point. But there's no cell phone, so if I'm not home, I don't hear the phone call. How could he even be on call 24 hours a day? They didn't have cell phones then. He's like, well, just call my office. I know, but you're only in here 2 to 4 p.m. He goes, but if you catch me in those hours, I will come back at 8 o'clock and do the surgery.

could you not ash in my liver? And he goes, why don't, where do you want me to ash? Anybody that had surgery back then, you had to get a ashtray just laid on your chest and you're just, and they just went in and you're going to put me to sleep. We haven't invented that yet. Your smoke is too great on here. Oh, you should get burned a little bit. Also.

There was a cart, they use cartoons. Even though his office hours are two to four p.m. I don't, as a doctor, they got to work more than that. I think they mean they're doing surgery or seeing patients the rest of the time. Like from two to four is when he'll meet with you and consult. That does not come off like that at all. Yeah. That sounds, even though his office hours say two to four p.m., who wrote it? That guy? I mean, that's like, I don't think his wife would believe that.

Honey, 24 hours a day. But you only go to work 2 to 4 p.m. Make sure you sleep in. Those are my hours. I'd kill for those hours. I do shows 2 to 4 p.m. Smoke a cigarette? He barely works more than me. And I'm a stand-up comedian. Actually, he doesn't. When I do two shows, he does not work more than me. Mm-hmm.

He's on call 24 hours a day. I mean, you can call me. Yeah. But I mean, technically, I have the same hours of a doctor. 2 to 4 p.m. And do you recommend Campbell cigarettes more than any other cigarette? Yeah. I mean, smoke away. Do whatever you want to do. I don't know. If your kid don't smoke.

There was cartoons would promote cigarettes. The Flintstones had, I think I sent you that. Yeah. They would use Barney Rubble and Fred Flintstone to promote cigarette use. And it was actually pretty funny. They showed the women out front working and they're just hanging out. He's like, man, these women are really working. And Fred says, yeah, you want to go in the back so we can't see them? Yeah. It's pretty funny. That's pretty funny. And then they just go back there and smoke cigarettes. Wow. And promote it. Wow. That's so crazy.

pretty good they just i mean i i i love the you know now we're in such a time of like you can't say anything you can't there's a watch and everything's like don't say anything ever bad because you get you know they think everybody's doing whatever they're saying and back then they were just like yeah just straight up the cartoon the number one cartoon in the world is telling you to go smoke a cigarette there's him headed to the back yeah

And he's about to pull out. Winston. It was unbelievable, man. We should almost go back to this. Like, I think it would just, everybody would be like, it's a better time. Like, you know, you'd be like, don't smoke. It's obviously going to make you, it's not good. Yeah. Well, so many of these recent ads I read about that got in trouble. It's always something, either someone deemed sexist or racist. And it's, it's just frustrating to,

Because I remember working in TV news. Do you believe it? Some of these, I do. Some of these, I would, because I remember working in TV news and people would call and they'd be upset about something. They would find something wrong. One of the ones recently, Heineken Light Beer ran an ad that lighter is better. And people got upset about it because they said that was promoting alcohol.

Like skin color is better. Oh, it's talking about a light beer versus none. Yeah. And then it was like lighter is better. Yeah. But that's the stuff that you can't, if that's what that person thinks in their head, that's their fault.

I agree. So that's on them. That's on them to be like, well, you have a problem actually because other people are just like, yeah, they want to drink a light beer versus heavy beer. Yeah. That's really on them. They should just throw it back on them and go like, that's your own issues. And actually, you're probably racist for thinking of that because we're just talking about beer. And if you pulled that out of it, I don't know what you want. Like, then we can't say anything. And so that's on you.

Yeah, people criticized them saying that you guys were being racist, but I agree with you. It seemed like they're not even thinking in those terms. People think it's hard to sometimes remember. Most people are not. They're just looking at it and their days are busy. You got to think we're not breaking down every single thing. But we have people now and it seems like the jobs are to break down every single thing.

And so they can find anything in anything. I agree with you. I know I broke that down. I don't really care about that. I was just asking because people, that's an example of things you got to look out for. Yeah. Who do you want it to be? Ron Tannehill? Effective condition. Do you know what that is? No. No.

You major in marketing, right? Yeah, marketing, but advertising is only one little corner of marketing. Yeah. You know the four Ps of marketing? No, I do not. Pleasure. Performance. Poor people, because y'all attack them. That's two. Yeah. Is it poor people? No. Because y'all go after them super hard. Advertising, that's all it is, is ruining poor people's lives. Is it not? I don't know. Advertising. I don't know.

You trick them. So promotion is one of these P's, and that's where advertising falls in. This is one of the few concrete things I remember from college is the four P's of marketing. You think about product, place, promotion, and price. What did you say? Pie. I think it's price. Those are the four P's.

And poor people. And poor people. What's an example of place? Place is like how something's delivered, what channel it comes through, how you get it. Where does it exist and how do you get it? Like the front of a display at a grocery store. Channel 5. Or sure. Yeah. Channel 5 or like a truck that ships it to you. All that is place, how it gets there. So that's a whole company.

And their job is they're called place. Do they walk under a sign that says place? No. No?

I feel like the four Ps, they probably started that and then they got to place. They were like, we need one more. They've already done the Ps and so I guess place because that doesn't feel like that goes. What are the other ones? Promotion. Product. That makes sense. What it is you're selling. Yeah, price makes sense. I think price is the other one. I would imagine product was the first one. The guy invented this because it's the four Ps. He goes product and they go, wow, that's good. And then he's like, can't think of it.

price place and promote promotion promotion kind of makes sense yeah so maybe it goes product promotion and they're like oh this is good and you should have said just two piece this should be the two piece and then he goes uh also price and place and they go i guess so yeah

I can see price. Yeah, place. Yeah, that's the price of discounts and everything else. So advertising falls into... Advertising is one of the... Oh, it's not... The promotion. Oh, okay. It's one part of marketing. I see. I got another P. Oh, yeah? Puffery. Oh, love Puffery. You know this? Big fan. Do you really know what Puffery is? Yeah. It's... Well, it's when you exaggerate a product like, coldest beer in town, best...

burger, East of the Mississippi, funniest comedian, nicest comedian in the business, whatever. Yeah. I like it. Something like that. It's something that people don't take literal, but you just, you puff yourself up, exaggerate.

Yeah, where no reasonable person would think you actually. That's not a great example. Like the best deals in town or whatever. Then you're like, well, that's not a real. You're not making a real concrete claim about your deals. It's just puffery. It's just like. Well, like James Gregory would call himself the funniest man in America. That would be puffery. Yeah, exactly. So it's legal. It's legal to do that, even if it's not true. That's why every restaurant, I can say, like number one.

You go walk around New York City, every place is best slice of New York. Yeah. We can't all say that. Yeah. It's just puffery. Yeah, but like TV news, we all had- See how his stuff is broad and yours is very specific?

What do you mean? Every year, all your stuff was like, even for your examples are just very like a pizza and all this stuff. And yours are all like, it's me, James Gregory. Like, it's like, there's, you go so personal and his are just probably the real examples of the use, like best deal in town, hottest cars on the market. And yours is like nicest man in standup. That's fake. Yeah.

James Gregory, funniest fan. James Gregory's very funny. Yeah. I would say that. But it comes off. Am I wrong? It's kind of just, it's funny that yours is very broad. I would think it would be more specific than broad. I don't know. It depends if the other person on the other side of it gets hurt. But, you know. The tables have turned. Yeah. Oh, the turntables. Yeah. Yeah.

um sometimes though they go too far and then there's a lawsuit um kellogg's was promoting that the rice krispies improve a child's immunity 25 daily value of antioxidants and nutrients and the wild west back then man that's so great you could just like uh i mean 2011 oh wow they said that then that's crazy

Golly. That is just thick. It made their immunity better? Yep. Why? Vitamins A, B, C, and E. Because the gas station you had to go buy it in was pretty rough. And that's why. You go buy it in there. There's a lot of walking there. Maybe it is. Don't wear shoes and go buy Rice Krispie. Look at the cereal box. Now help support your child's immunity. As big as the name of the cereal. They're really leaning into that. 25% daily value of antioxidants. It didn't do that?

No. Kellogg's agreed to pay $2.5 million to affected consumers, as well as donate $2.5 million worth of Kellogg's products to charity. So the solution is just to give this fake immunity to more people? I mean, that's like, that's...

I don't even, what is wrong with everybody? In 2013, Kellogg agreed to pay $4 million for false advertising when they said their frosted mini-wheats improved children's attentiveness, memory, and cognitive functions. When was that? 2013. Oh, two years after this, they didn't even learn their lesson. It doesn't even matter. Clinically shown to improve intentiveness by nearly 20%.

Well, and these aren't subtle claims that they make on the side of the box. I mean, they are the star of the show. These claims. You're going to see it. Like we talked about with sugar. Sugar is like, you know, because I'm addicted to it and I'm trying to get off. I'm trying to be better.

And I do love all this stuff. Sugar is going to be a big, big problem. That's the new, I know people have said it, but it's like, that's the new tobacco. Sugar. Sugar is a big, it's a big problem. It's a big, sometimes we were talking about it somewhere and it's like the only thing that everybody can be addicted to it. Like, you know, people are not going to do drugs or people are not going to smoke, people are not, like all this kind of stuff. Sugar is the only thing that like it can make everybody addicted.

And it's a free-for-all, and they run the world. It's like it's just – you have no control over it. It's in everything. You don't even know. I mean, you can't even almost not get it in stuff. Like you can't even – they make it so confusing. And it's like it's hard not to – I ate ice cream last night. I'm waiting tonight. I eat sour – I mean, I have sour ice cream. You already know you're going to eat it tonight. I already know I'm going to eat it. Laura's supposed to buy an extra one. She didn't last night, so I got to go out and do it myself. Someone's got to do it somewhere. Someone's got to wear the pants in his family. Right?

I'm going to do it. I can't say no to it. I have a big problem. I'm eventually going to get off this stuff, but I'm going to have someone come on the road and help me. But for now, you're going to... I'm going to drop away quick soon. When? Starting February 20th. I got him bringing someone with me on the road. Nice. Nutritionist? He's a barber. Yeah.

but he knows some stuff. He knows some stuff. He's read some stuff on the internet. It's my barber. Uh, and, but he also knows fitness stuff. I think I have to, I, I, I'm, it's not that I'm miserable out there, but it's like, I can't, I'm, I'm, I'm way too in deep, like to do it on my own. And the schedule, like this weekend was like,

It's a perfect example. Like there's it was Pensacola. We get to Pensacola. We drive to New Orleans at night, go to bed, wake up to shows. We go eat at Felix's actually this great place. We go eat there. You know, you're eating New Orleans food and then do two shows and then drive to Dallas overnight. Wake up at Bucky's Bucky's parking lot.

And then eat. And it's just like, I don't, it's just, I don't know how to, I can't, there's just too, it's too much stuff. And so if I want to do stuff, I've talked about that here. If I want to do stuff, I have to get,

this under control. And I'm fortunate enough to be able to do this. I really, my guy's a barber, but he's, uh, well, we learned in the middle ages episode that barbers were also doctors. There you go. That's right. That's where the swirl thing came from. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. So I'm doing that. I'm going to school. Minor surgeries done on the road. He can handle those. He can handle that. Does he smoke? Uh, no, I'm going to try to get him to from two to four from two to 4. P.m.

So I'll let them only smoke then. But then that will be... I'm hoping if I can't lose weight like this, then I'll never... Not that I'm big, but it's like... I can't. I'm going to have a heart attack out there or something. It's bad. I went and got a blood test actually the other day. Yeah, it's more about being healthy than losing weight. Yeah, I don't think I'm... Yeah. But I mean, my body stinks. It's just stupid. It's really dumb. It's like, I mean...

I just look at it and you're like, you're so, it's so dumb looking. It's just, your stomach sticks out. Nipples are just pointing. God knows where different directions. Just like, you know, it's just, it's just dumb. And I just don't want it to be dumb anymore. 42. I'm like, I can't. She's going Dr. Phil. Yeah. I just don't want my nipples to go different directions. Why are they pointing in every direction?

Why do they not? If you drew a straight line, they would never intersect with each other. They would never be near each other. They would only get farther and farther away. Like that. They're closest. They will ever be is just on my body. And then if you drew the line, they would be like, all right, man, have a good life, have a good life. And then they would shoot off into other directions and they would never even be, they'd be so a hundred years from now, they would not even be, they live in different countries. Yeah.

There's just no chance for me to get – there's never even a little curve back to be like, well, maybe they're crossing. It's just, see you later. At least if they went straight, they would at least be like, oh, yeah, he's right there. Stay side by side. Side by side. Mine are just a dumb stomach. It's just stupid. It's a –

But I'm not starting until the 20th, so I'm on a tear right now. You have 13 days to get after it. I got 13 days to just like – it is happening, dude. And I'm going to try to – he's good at like – because he's like it's just calorie take whatever. So like we can still eat. Like I'll be able to like – it's like I could technically go to McDonald's and go eat and just – but it's calories in, calories out. I mean I want to get healthy.

but I'm still not going to, I'm not going to bail on. I was to eat some Sour Patch Kids. Like, I don't want to give up everything. Forget who you are. What got me here. I just want to be where I can wear a shirt and it feels great. That would be so nice. You know? Yeah. No, trust me. I get it. I had to wear this. I go, Albert, can we get this a little bigger? The logo. The logo on every shirt. Could you get it? Could you get it a little bigger? Maybe make it be mountain-y?

Just so you get confused by that. I bought one this weekend at the store in Pensacola, a hoodie. And it's got three. I almost wish if Laura could bring, see if Laura would bring that hoodie up. Because it's a perfect hoodie.

Cover your nipples hoodie. There's a lot of relief on it. Like it sticks. No, there's no relief, but there's a lot of confusion right in that area. And a lot of patterns. Yeah. A lot of patterns. It's just like a lot of, I don't think you could really tell what's going on.

It's just distracting. It's like the Grand Canyon. Yeah. Yeah. 3D art. Yeah. It's just, it's kind of ridiculous. That's all. And I just want to get to that. I want to get, I'm hoping this special shoots, I'll be in, you better tell. And I don't want to, I don't think it'll make me less funny. This is the problem I had when I quit drinking is like, it was like, you think, well, my story is about drinking. It's so funny. You think I can't be funny. Yeah.

And so, well, I quit drinking. It's still going good. And then, so it's like with eating, you're like, well, my story, but then you're like, I mean, I'm still dumb. I don't think I can get smarter. That's something I can't do. That's where all the jokes come from is me being dumb. So, you know, I think I'm good. When does your special tape? I don't know. But when it does. When it does, I don't know. Hopefully taped in the fall. Yeah. So yeah, maybe if I lose, I could be in real good shape by then. I just want to, you know,

But I don't know. Maybe I won't be. Maybe I'm going to hire him. It's not going to work out. Well, on one of your specials, I think it was your Comedy Central. You commented on that, didn't you? Yeah. Said we're trying to lose weight and here we are. Yeah. Every special has been like that. Yeah. I try and then you go, here we are. I got a beard. It looks better. But it's just, I think my insides are not good. That's the, you know. That's a pretty important part. Yeah. A lot of people say it's the main part, you know.

It's, yeah, it looks rough. Yeah, the older you get, the harder it is. Yeah, it's like you're, yeah, it's like it's hard to like, you know, keep it up. But it's like in the road, you're just like, we have so many shows, man. And I want to do all these shows and I want to be in great moods when I do these shows. And I am, I mean, I'm,

I'm not in bad moods when I do these shows, but I'm just looking at the future and I'm going like, if I'm going to be this busy and as busy as I want to be and do the shows I want to go do, I cannot do this if I don't fix this. And I can't. And I'm fortunate enough to be able to have someone be like, you got to just be with me, dude. And like, or otherwise I won't do it. And, uh,

And then, you know, it's like, it's getting decisions out of your life. I've learned like if you, the more stuff you want to go do, you got to get decisions. If you get busier, you have to get the decisions that are, that bog you down out. Like someone else has got to make those decisions for you. And that's how I look at it. Like what you got, my sister's working. Like, you know, it's like she's helping with a lot of stuff. It's like you just kind of get decisions. Abigail's helping with a lot of like when I've met people and stuff after a show and like that kind of stuff. And it's like able to like, yeah, I can't.

I won't be able to track everything I can track and then also do this. That's why these billionaires wear the same outfit every day because they're eliminating those kind of decisions. She doesn't have it? I have no idea where it's at. Look in the... Is it Laura not here? She is, but she don't know. It's a hoodie I bought at this... All right, it doesn't matter. What color is it? I don't know. Colorblind. It's by Abigail. She sticks that to me every time.

What color is it? That's how she... Did you say billionaires wear the same thing? Yeah, I'm thinking that's got to be the same thought process. You just... Yeah. And look, I'm a billionaire. I recently became one. And Laura still goes, I don't know if we should do that. I think if I became a billionaire, I would still just be like, just get two loaves of bread. We can afford it. She'd be like, well, I don't know. We need about two loaves of bread. That'd be the rest of my life.

77% of Twitter users appreciate a brand more when that brand tweets back to respond to them. It takes about 10 hours on average for businesses to respond to a tweet, even though customers want a response within four hours. Well, I think you'd want one immediately, but I guess on average four. Whose job is it to take the time to ask that, to get to the bottom of that? How many hours? Yeah, I just don't.

There's a lot of jobs that you're like, what are y'all making jobs out of? You're just making them out of nothing. You're just sandwiching in anything. You're like, you want to figure it out? And some companies are like, yeah, I'd love to know. The algorithm world, I think, is just invented jobs. I mean, we're talking about it, but it's like, I don't know if I needed all that information. They do it within 10 hours, but we'd like it in four. Who's responding to that?

They get these people do these surveys, man. Yeah. Ask them all these questions. How you interact with brands on social media. Yeah. Tell me how many brands do you follow on social media? Do you share their content often? They'd ask him all these questions. Do you ever complain about a company on social media? You know what? I'd made a joke about one once and they responded and we had a back and forth.

About Welch's fruit snacks. Yeah, those are great. They are great. Yeah. But the joke I had was it says in real big letters, it says fruit is the first ingredient. I was like, who cares what the first one is? What's all the others? You know? Yeah. First ingredient of meth is medicine. That was the joke I made.

And then they responded back. They were like, they just not funny at all. Just like clarified what that means. And then I went back and they came back. It was kind of fun. It's fun to see like a brand you've heard of. Yeah. Even though, you know, it's some guy like me. Is it Wendy's? Like Wendy's is fun, right? Yeah. A lot of fast food chains are like that. Yeah. Taco Bell will do that too. I think. I like that. Like, it's like, you just roast people and like, don't care. Like just be fun. I, when I entered at that advertising company, one of like the, like,

They give you these jobs that are just time killers, right? It's this job that we just talked about. No, but have you heard of Takati, the beer? Yeah. So the company I worked at ran Takati's Facebook. So part of what I would have to do is respond to every comment, but I'd have to use the word bold because that was their whole marketing campaign. So I just had to think of creative ways to use the word bold. So somebody would be like, about to drink a couple Takatis.

At lunch today, and I'd be like, bold decision, brother. I'm going out tonight, going to grab a six-pack of Tecate's. That's a bold move. I just had to do that for hours, respond to every comment. So there's somebody sitting there doing all that, having a good time with it. Do you like it when people go after companies on social media? No, I'm not a fan. People do it with airlines all the time. I think it's crazy. I think it comes off.

And I know a lot of friends I've known that have done it, but I think it comes off really bad. I think it does not look good. I almost, I think in a weird way, but I don't think I mind if like,

I don't like if a celebrity does it or someone, you know, I don't like that. I think that's kind of gross. Cause there's leveraging their following. Yeah. It's like, like, it's like you're using your people that are following you because you're don't like the seat that you got or that you're delayed or that you're, I'm not a big airline complainer though. And I'm not saying that they do the best job and everything. And not that I've had problems and, but I'm not, I, some reason, which was a whole, it was travel. Like,

Not to bring that again, but I traveled with a cow for a long time. And they, no, but like, I, like I, some reason I could go, like, I would never, I don't get super upset about delays. I don't get super upset about, you know, I could get getting mad. I just like, I get complaining to that person. I didn't, I never, to me, I don't understand that.

saying it on twitter to be like american you don't do the thing that i want you to do and then you're tweeting it and you're like look at all the followers i got i'm gonna tell my people that like that's kind of very arrogant to me and very like it just feels kind of gross uh i understand if someone that's not i think you got to just like dm them or something sorry uh

I don't know. It doesn't make sense. At the very least, it should be a last resort, right? I mean, it's like, I don't got my bags. I don't got, it's like a very like, yeah, dude, so does other people. Like, why do you get yours fixed over everybody else? The average person gets 1700 banner ads per month, but only sees half of them. Banner ads like that, like on your phone and when it does a cross and says it. Yeah. The ads, I, you know, I mean, we're, we read ads on this.

But it's like the ads are just, they're everywhere. 70 to 8% of users ignore sponsored search results. You know, like you Google something. Yeah. Sometimes I would click on it because I thought, does the company get a money for it or something? No, they're paying to be up there. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Well, you want to make their money. If I don't think they're going to do something wrong to my computer, I would click on it just to be like, if you're paying to be up there at the top,

Good for you. Like, I'll support you. You've earned it. You've earned it. Yeah. But don't go blowing me up, you know. But then the thinking would be, well, I want to get what is actually –

The best search result and not somebody who's paid to circumvent the system, right? Oh, I want the real answer. That's the thing. I want the real answer, not just somebody who paid to get up there. And I found myself, yeah, I'm just, I'm trained to, when I search for something, I automatically scroll past that. Yeah. And find the top one. 90% of online searchers haven't made up their mind about a brand before they start searching. They don't look for certain brands. They look for lowest prices. I guess that was probably given. Yeah.

90% of consumers read online reviews before visiting a business. And those reviews influence 67% of their decisions. I could see that. I could get influenced. You try to find like somewhere you trust. Like I do it like movies. I'll look, uh,

Like you Google a movie, it's always like Amazon or IMDb. One of them is like where it's very like, they're always like, everything's amazing. I think it's Amazon. Like every movie is like the greatest movie ever. I think that's just regular people and it could be. So I think I tend to go with regular people over Amazon.

Like Rotten Tomatoes gives you both. Yeah. But I'll usually go to Rotten Tomatoes. Like, yeah, I'll just go with the regular people because it's like I'm not going to watch the movie the way the other person is. The critics do. Yeah. 60% Olympus has fallen. I don't – that's – it should be higher than that. It was great. But two-thirds of them like it. Only half like – the critics like it. Yeah, but that – now I feel like you're being – it's a fun movie. What are they – who's watching these movies like –

I'm not a good, don't come to me and ask me if something's good. I'm going to say it's great. I don't know. And a great chance I won't remember it. You know what I watched last night that probably didn't get good reviews, but it's a fun movie, is Con Air. Yeah. Never seen it. Harrison Ford? No. Nicolas Cage. It's great. Even better. Probably think about Air Force One maybe. You should watch Con Air. Con Air is great. Yeah. It's just fun. Yeah. John Cusack, John Malkovich? I think people like it.

I think, yeah, this is a... Maybe you're right. 56%. Yeah, that's crazy. That's a rotten tomato, dude. I bet the audience score is much higher. I don't think it should be higher. All right. It's not loaded, so I can't...

People just listen to this on the audio. That's unreal. You should give this podcast zero tomatoes. Hope you roll down your window and throw a tomato out. 75% audience score. 75%. That's good. That's a C. Go to the audience, man. The audience, that's who we are. It's the people, dude. Now, if you're into movies, I understand the critics. If you're like, hey, I'm a...

this is like a hobby is not a hobby critics but like if you're like if you're someone that's not a critic but you're like I love and I know a lot of people that I wish I could appreciate movies as much as they could so there I understand but

I like the ride up there. Conair won't win any awards for believability and all involved seem cheerfully aware of it, making some of this blockbuster action outing the biggest flaws fairly easy to forgive. There you go. It's not believable. We're just along for the ride. Yeah. That's what this is about. Some of the worst marketing campaigns. American Airlines was running low on money. This is 1981. They were about to go bankrupt. So they did a thing where you could pay $250,000 and get a lifetime first-class travel pass. Wow.

It backfired on people used it so much that they were losing money. They only sold 65, but they had to stop because people were just going to London on their lunch break because it was the richest people who were buying it. So they were just doing it all the time. They lost over $50 million before they could get a stop. Only 65? How much is 65, 250 grand? That doesn't make sense, does it? No. No.

65 times 250 grand. Well, I guess if you keep using it over and over, they didn't take it away from you, but they stopped the thing. $16,250,000. How did they lose? Because they could have charged like 10 grand for those tickets? Maybe, yeah. To me, $250,000 seems like a lot to pay for it, but they said they were using it so much that it quickly exceeded what they paid it. Yeah. And I guess they could still be using it to this day. I bet it was like companies. Yeah.

And maybe they're just like, they're flying every other day on the, and they're losing those seats. I don't know. I don't, I feel like that's, how'd you not get it? I think American Airlines should have done something better. They should have been able to figure it out. Like, you know, that was 1981. Yeah. You had to go buy it at the, probably write a check for 250 grand at the counter. Airline tickets probably cost more then than they do now. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. How do you pay for that? You just got to go up there and.

It's called an AA pass. I have the companion pass on Southwest. That's a good, Southwest is great. That's an unbelievable perk. Yeah. I think it's awesome. We had it one year and I don't think we really used it.

And I wish we would have, but you could, it's a, I think the companion passes, that's the real deal. Southwest is great. Southwest really does great. And then I, I fly Delta a lot. I don't mind all of, I like them all. I like Delta a lot and I fly Delta the most, but, uh, I love Southwest. I do. I think Southwest is great. They got to figure it out. Burger King tried a thing where they went to Thailand to find people had never eaten a hamburger to compare their Whopper against the Big Mac and

And people got really upset about it, saying that 30% of the country can't even afford a hamburger and most people are living in poverty. So it was a bad idea to use them as the...

country to go test this out i think i remember this ad is they just kind of dropped a hamburger in front of these people i don't i don't know and you know thinking i think burger king did that they went to some part of the world where they were not familiar with hamburgers yeah and they just put a hamburger in front of them and they were like how would you eat this yeah you didn't even think about it we know how to eat a hamburger because we've seen it yeah and they're just like some of them like come in from the top and try to eat it really yeah if you've never seen one yeah

You know? That's interesting. Yeah. Like a banana. Yeah. Different ways. Yeah. That's exactly. Is it like we were shoving it in their face? No, no. It was just something about the burger and the world. I don't remember the point of the ad. But I'm saying that's what people argued about. Yeah. They were saying hunger exists in this country and 30% of the people there can't even afford a hamburger. Yeah. And then I get that. Okay. Yeah.

This is my favorite one. 2006, LifeLock came up with a campaign to promote the credentials of LifeLock. So the CEO put his social security number on a billboard showing how we're so secure, we can't get away with this. Hackers found a way to get through it, and the guy got hacked 13 times. Identity theft. Oh, wow. His name's Todd Davis. Fake Todd Davis has popped up around the country, racking up debt.

In a humiliating blow for a company, the CEO had fallen victim to constant identity theft, proved their product doesn't work. If that worked, that would have been unbelievable. You're the greatest. Yeah. I mean, you would be, that's a big risk. Well, kudos to him for actually putting his real. Yeah. I would put a fake one up there. And just say that's my real. But I guess you can't, if it's someone else's real one, you're, I mean, they could sue you for. Yeah. If it ever got out. Yeah. Like to him, it's just like bad luck.

But LifeLock still does, they're still around. I think so. Yeah. DuPont, good old DuPont. They were the first company in the U.S. to manufacture cellophane product to keep food fresh. In 1953, they released advertisements of babies wrapped in cellophane. To keep them fresh? Yeah, it didn't go over. Well, I sent you the, oh, you can just look them up. There's a couple. Yeah.

I mean, it's exactly what we're describing. Yeah. It's just babies wrapped in saran wrap. Yeah. And then so people got upset about that. I don't know if they even did back at the time. I think later on you look back, you're like, what were they thinking? Yeah. I don't know if anybody even complained then. Yeah. Maybe they did. Cellophane is spelled like cell phone, but with an A. No. If you got rid of the A and moved the O forward. Yeah.

I mean, yeah. If you said, hey, got the A, you go get out. And then they go, oh, jump up two. Now we got cell phone. It's funny the things, the selling points of cellophane are things that we take for granted so much. Like this is the main selling point. You see the things you buy. No guesswork. So what were people wrapping stuff up in, in your fridge before cellophane? Just tinfoil?

Well, they're saying is that you see the things you buy. I mean, I would take it as like you go get like a chicken at the grocery store. It's written in like wrapping Christmas wrapping paper. And you're like, I want this chicken. You're like, I hope that's right. Like you can't see the chicken. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. So what was that's so obvious now.

But that's a selling point back then. They go, you're going to be able to see what's through this. Yeah. Well, that picture of the stork holding a baby, you can see what he's carrying. Yeah. Where's that? Right here? Yeah. Yeah, I understand that. But that's... I mean, I agree with you. That's part of the selling point. It's something you can carry and it's clear. Right. Well, what were you using before cellophane? Sacks. I don't... Oh, yeah. Maybe sacks. Like burlap sacks? Yeah. As far as wrapping food?

You didn't have leftovers back then. You ate it then or you're not going to eat it. You finished your plate back then. Well, if you bought a baby, you'd want to be able to see it. I wouldn't buy a baby unless, would you buy a baby out of a bag or a cell phone? Cell phone. You want to get a look at what you're buying. You want to get a, you know, can I open the top of the bag? And he goes, no. I'm going to go to the cell phone factory and buy a baby out of there. At least I can see them. The devil you know.

Mastercard did a promotion in 2018 World Cup where every goal that Lionel Messier or Neymar scored, they would give 10,000 meals to children in Latin America and the Caribbean to help in starvation. But the Stars, they only scored three goals. So people got upset that the campaign not only didn't work, that they're using it to exploit starvation. Yeah.

No, so they only gave like 30,000 meals? Yeah, I think they stopped it even before he got over. The Titans do something similar. They work with Second Harvest Food Bank. Every time the Titans get a sack, they give like 100 meals to Second Harvest Food Bank. Raising the stakes for those players, dude. If they don't play well, people are going to starve to death. That's Harold Landry. Yeah, he got 12, so he did his job. He did his job. I think about that with the college football halftime show where they make those kids throw the football in.

to earn a college tuition. Right. Does it feel a little weird to be basing whether these kids can afford to go to college on this game? I think they're already going to college. Like, they're already in it. So it's like, they get it for free or not. Yeah, but to base that on... But you're not pulling out a high school senior and you're like, he's going to go work at a factory, he's going to go to college. Like, you're...

I mean, that might be more interesting to go like his whole family's got to watch and is he going to be the first one that gets to college or is he not? I don't know. You got to throw this Dr. Pepper bottle and your whole family line relies on that. I mean, it's like kids that are in school. This year, the SEC championship game, I think the two, one of them was studying to be a doctor. The other one was going to be an actor. Oh.

It's a little bit different. Everybody rooting for the doctor? I think he won. Okay, good. If you had to do that, would you? So statistically, you have a better chance of making it doing the chest pass. Yeah, I would do it. You would do that and not care that you look lame doing it? I think it goes back to, yeah, I mean, I think you got to make it in.

Or maybe do it. It's just easier to, like, you know, it's just quicker, I'd imagine. If you did that and you didn't throw it the normal way, I'd boo you. Yeah, you would. Yeah. Well, when you drive by your truck on your way to your day job because you didn't get into college, and I'm up there in my ivory tower looking at you. When you're at Vol State, he's at Notre Dame. You'll feel stupid.

As you do your stick shift and back out of your driveway to go to Vol State. And I'm floating to Notre Dame. Here's one that just came out a couple years ago. People got upset about the Peloton holiday ad. Yeah. Where the woman who's in perfect shape, her husband buys her a Peloton. Do you remember this? I don't know. She goes from 100... They don't say this. Somebody tweeted. It's great. She went from 116 pounds to 112. But people got really upset because she's in great shape and her husband bought it for her. So they were saying that...

You know, he shouldn't have done that. What? Because they're saying, why is he making her get in shape and lose weight? She already looks great. Yeah, but that's how you... That's just like with someone like overly... That's how they... Someone that's in shape wants to work out. Like they want a Peloton. Yeah. What do they want to do? They don't see just, you know...

Aaron comes downstairs and his wife Lucy's like, huh? Here's a Peloton. Maybe try some celery. We just got a Peloton. Oh, really? It gets delivered tomorrow. Oh. Yeah. Good for you. That'll be me. Yeah, that doesn't... It's like that would be the...

She wants a Peloton. I would imagine she's excited. She's super excited. She loves it. But then this next clip, she looks like she's being held hostage right there. Well, he made me do the Peloton again today. That's what it looks like. Yeah. Well, the problem is she's doing selfie videos in bed and everywhere. Like that's more, I would be more mad at that to be like, just golly, live a life. Like just you come home and you're, you know, you just end your phone all day.

Yeah, I got her a Peloton. Like, film something. I was the one to have to be interviewed. Here's my husband. He's doing it. You're like, oh. Just get her a Peloton. I'm not trying to get her in shape. I'm trying to give her something to do, man. Yeah. Get her off my back.

There's nothing wrong with that commercial. That would be one that you read into that. You'd be like, that's your problem then. You just go, that's your fault. No one reads into that. She wants a Peloton. That's someone in shape. They have to stay. There's not like, they act like people. I have a joke now, which I talk about it. But the problem is they show someone that looks like that. But that's how they stay in shape. But I think sometimes it's too...

Like when you read like ads to like someone that wants you to get healthy. I never, when they show someone like ripped and they tell you to do stuff and you're like, I have a whole, I don't want to do the whole joke, but that's the problem. Cause they'll be like, do this and do that. And you're like, well, dude, I don't even know how to, I mean, I'm eating handfuls of sour patch kids multiple times a day. Like I'm, you know, what are you crazy? You want me to just cut everything? Like just my life. Like I won't do it. Yeah. And I don't do it.

I go, I'm going to do it. And then I try it for a day. Then I don't do it. But that lady, you know. I mean, Peloton's been in the news lately because two big TV shows, someone's died of a heart attack while on a Peloton bike. Sex and the City and then Billions. Yeah, but why? But it's just because it's like. I mean, they just wrote it in, but it's bad PR for them because people associate it. I don't know. I don't believe the bad PR.

That's the people think people are dumb. If I saw that and a guy died of a heart attack on the Peloton, I wouldn't go, honey, get rid of the Peloton. Apparently it kills you. Who does that? If your company go, we don't think our buyers are that stupid. So who cares? That'd be a good response. Yeah. I'm sorry. I don't think my buyers are stupid. Sorry, I don't think as little of my customers as you do. Yeah, exactly. That's how I do it.

You know what was a cool part, though? These advertising companies, they get advanced copies of every TV show out there because they have to make sure that they want to buy ads when the show's on and make sure nothing conflicts with what the show is. So I remember the place I interned, this dude would get advanced copies, like Breaking Bad and stuff. He just had it.

before anybody. Yeah. It's a pretty cool little perk. And you'd get to watch it? No, they guard it. And you get to watch it with no ads. Yeah. Wow. So if someone wants to skip ads and they can't afford DVR, go work for advertising. And then hopefully you'll make enough for DVR when you're working there too. No, you won't ever have to buy one because you'll get the... Yeah, there's no reason to fast forward. Yeah. The other one recently that got a lot of flack was the Kendall Jenner Pepsi commercial.

where the people are protesting um downtown this was just again a year or two ago yeah this yeah i can't remember she takes the cop the pepsi and then everyone seems happy like whatever it was they're protesting is is now over and she walks up in the middle of like a a tense protest between the police yeah and she's like hey y'all

She didn't say anything, but that's the attitude. Yeah, it's like two minutes in when she finally gets up there in the front of the line. She just sees people marching down the street and then finally goes outside to see what's going on. Grabs a Pepsi. There she goes. Yeah. Pepsi Zero's great. That's what got Nate into Pepsi. No, there's been... I've done... Pepsi Zero's really good. If she gave me regular Pepsi, I would have thrown it back at her.

But if she gave me a Pepsi Zero, I would have been like, hey, where did you get this? I mean, Pepsi Zero is really good. Yeah, that commercial is – yeah, like they're – these companies think they're – who do you think you are? Like, you know, that's the thing. They think they're normal people and they get her to do it. She's a billionaire, right? Yeah. Like it's like, yeah, she can do that. She ain't drinking Pepsi.

I drink Pepsi. I drink Pepsi Zero at every... Pepsi Zero is awesome. Like, it's... I love it. The most expensive ad ever was a $33 million ad for Chanel, number five. They got Nicole Kidman to be in it. Is there a number four? Is there one, two, three, four? Is there one, two, three, four? Chanel? I don't know. I'm not the Chanel guy. We both look at you like... There he is.

Quick Aaron Lan up real quick. Number five is the one that they did it for. $33 million. Paid her $3 million. And they showed it. Who? Paid who? Nicole Kidman. Okay. And they showed it. Didn't even show it on TV. Showed it before Bridget Jones, The Edge of Reason. Showed it before that movie. And that movie cost $40 million to make. Had before it cost $33 million to make. It's like a small movie. I wouldn't be funny. What if they don't let us play this?

on the YouTube thing and you're like, they spent $33 million and then they're like, nah, you don't have the rights to it. You're like, but I mean, wouldn't you want us? We're giving you free advertising. Getting free advertising to Chanel number three. And they're like, it's five. I go, I don't know. Is there other ones? Why is this one the best? I don't know if I trust you, Chanel, if you're already to five. How much do you change your mind? That's what I, honestly, Chanel shouldn't do any numbers because he'd go,

Look how much you guys are changing your mind. You're already to five. When were you invented as a company? Ten years ago? You're already blowing through whatever this is? You're going too fast. I don't know what this is. Is Chanel purses? It's perfume, right? It's perfume?

Number five? It's hard to do a commercial about a cent, isn't it? It's hard to do it. It's hard to spend that much money if you're not narrowed down to one product. That's what I would think. If you want to go, well, what about one, two, three, and four? We don't care about those. Five is what we're pushing now. So $33 million for five.

I mean, she looks like she smells good in the commercial. Yeah, I bet she smells great. I guess it's what you're trying to communicate. She's come to a show before. Yes. I haven't met them, but I have no problem with her. I just don't understand. Is there other Chanel's?

They should do like what the iPhone did. Like do they have a 6 now? They have like probably like a Chanel 3S instead of just going all the way up to 5. Is there a Chanel 6? Let's look up what those numbers mean. Chanel 22? They're at Chanel 22 now? That's crazy. Wow. Chanel number 22. Just keep going. What does it smell like? Oh.

Now, this was released in 1922 or 1928. Either one. You decide. That's how...

Chanel 22 works. It was released in whatever year you want it to be released in. You're like, oh, I don't know. Either this one or that one. That's a catch-22. So it's a countdown. Getting down to number one. Oh. What does Chanel 22 smell like? The perfect classical silky fragrance of this perfume is composed of gorgeous jasmine, orange blossom, fresh green note of lilac, and sweet rose. I would just think if you were to spend $33 million, I would go like, hey, you know what? I mean, I guess Chanel number five is all I've ever heard about.

It worked. How many? One Chanel N. Chanel N. It went on the letters, dude. Which channel? Number five. iPhones do that. I almost think I would have... If I would have read this as the ad, I would have been like, Channel 5. Channel 5. $33 million to promote Channel 5? That's where Brian works. That's where Brian works. Like you go, every Channel 5 just gets to...

I'm rolling in it. News Channel 5 spent $33 million on a dad. Why is Nicole Kidman trying to get me to watch Channel 5? I mean, that's, I don't, you know, I'm more of a snowbird type of guy. I don't know if I'm, she's out of her mind. Seems like a weird commercial for her. Chanel No. 5 has been reinterpreted and reimagined into new forms, including an air-de-toilette spray.

Yeah, dude. There's a lot of different Chanel number fives. De Beers Diamond Company. Have you heard of De Beers? No. They cornered the market on diamonds for engagement rings. Diamonds, most people think they're very rare. They're not rare. They found tons of them in South African mines, but they knew that would drive down the price. So they kept that information to themselves. People to this day think diamonds are very, very rare, which...

According to this, they're really not to keep the price up. And they convince people you got to buy a rare diamond to give to the person you're going to marry. So back until like 75 years ago, most people did not give diamond rings as engagement ring. But then their whole campaign convinced people to do that. To do it. Yeah. What did they give them back then? Before diamond rings? I think maybe just a regular ring. A ruby? Or just a band maybe. Yeah.

Yeah, they do that. All the ads. I mean, look, if you look at, you know, sometimes we've had people ask about the not drinking thing, but like you can read a few books and I actually got one. Alan Carr, the easy way to quit sugar, good sugar, bad sugar. And I haven't started it yet, but because I'm on that tear right now. February 20th. February 20th. And then, but it's a,

Yeah, I'm going to eat ice cream tonight. Dude, I'm going to be... I'm a monster. Do you mix it up or do you kind of have the same thing every night?

I do chocolate ice cream in a cup and I pour milk in it. I learned it from my buddy Ryan Malone a long time ago. A milkshake, right? No, you don't make it milk. You just pour the milk on it and I stuff the cup full of chocolate ice cream. But I also do cookies and cream with chocolate syrup. I put a lot of chocolate syrup in it. Your barber's got his work cut out for him. Yeah. He does. I mean, I put a lot of chocolate syrup. I love... I mean, it's crazy. I eat it alone.

I make sure Laura goes to the bedroom or leaves the house. I go, don't come out here. You don't even see what's going on out here. Get on out of here, woman. You can't. This is men's work. That's what I just say. I'm just plowing away. I'll eat. I mean, I can eat so much ice cream. Yeah. Dipping dots this weekend. Have you guys ever seen ads that you know for a fact convince you to go buy something?

I don't know, but this is the alcohol thing is when you read that is like you realize that like alcohol, you're just – it's in your – it's everything. They show Bugs Bunny sitting at a bar and he gets a beer. It's like you just – you associate fun with –

The only way for me to have fun and relax is alcohol. And actually alcohol is the opposite. It won't let you, I mean, I get the idea. It makes you like not care about your decisions. And so that's what you are kind of going for. But like alcohol is just like, you're just like, you're just trained to, you don't even have a chance. I mean, you're a kid and it's just in every single thing. Every TV show, every movie, like this is how men decompress. They get home, they pour a big glass of scotch. They all do. Yeah.

I don't remember. I'm trying to think of an ad.

I mean, yeah, I don't know. I don't feel like I ever have because I feel like I ignore them, but they always say subconsciously you don't even realize that you're being influenced. Well, you know, isn't there something that's a name of something that you think it is? One thing. Kleenex. Kleenex. Okay. Yeah, you never say, you know. Band-Aid. Yeah. Xerox. Xerox. Styrofoam. Yeah, that's the name of it? Styrofoam's a brand name. Oh. It's not the name of what it is. What is it called? I don't know.

Yeah. I don't even know. Why would they not just call it that? What did the look of styrofoam is? The actual name is styrofoam. Is that Teflon? Is that something different? That's what stops a bullet, right? Teflon? Styrofoam is a trademark named for a chemical compound called polystyrene. Polystyrene? Listerine.

That would be like if someone came over and said, you got any polystyrene? I don't know what that is. That's like what smart people do. You got any polystyrene? I don't know. You have styrofoam? Yeah, I got a ton of it. Let's leave the styrofoam room and let's go look for polystyrene. You got McDonald's? Can I get a polystyrene cup? Yeah. And they go, I don't know what you mean. I think you should leave. Yeah.

All right, I'll add on this. This year's the Super Bowls this Sunday. Record sales for 30-second spots, $7 million for some 30-second spots. This year, it's not just on NBC. It's also on Telemundo and the Peacock platforms. $7 million. Yeah. One reason for its higher is attracting a greater number of rookie advertisers, people who have never bought on the Super Bowl before.

So instead of ending on the $33 million ad, you thought I'll just save it and wait and do the $7 million as my final? Well, I just thought the Super Bowl is this Sunday, so maybe go out with something recent. That's a good time. They say this year they're calling it the crypto bowl because there's so many cryptocurrency ads. I can't stand that Matt Damon ad, dude. I see that ad everywhere.

Fortune favors the brave. I think I like the crypto stuff too, but I don't like that it's ads everywhere now for it. Now I don't trust it. You're almost like the bubble's about to burst now. Now I don't trust it at all. That it's so mainstream. You're like, they took over and now I'm like, I don't, you know. Because isn't that not the right quote? Fortune favors the brave? That was the bold. It's been uttered since the Romans. It's fortune favors the brave. Oh, I thought he hit it wrong.

I don't know. Oh, man, it is. Fortune favors the bold. Fortune favors. And you had a job where your only job was to tell people bold? That's what you should have said. Did you ever do this? Fortune favors. And you never heard the most famous bold line? I was supposed to be responding to messages about what people were drinking beer that weekend. I think you misspelled favors, but...

I don't know. Is that how you spell it? I spell it the American way. How do you spell it? No, I said they do. Yeah, I would spell it the way you do it. Oh, yeah. They throw the U in there. They throw the U in there. Yeah, it was the Brits. Maybe it's interchangeable, but I always heard the bold. Click on, see, click on, is it true that fortune favors the bold? Is that true?

No. Fortune does not favor the bold. It does on a certain point favor those who calculated their chances. But nevertheless, one definite thing about fortune that it is indefinite.

Fortune? Am I not saying that right? No, you are. It's just a ridiculous sentence. Yeah. Nevertheless, one definite thing about fortune that it is indefinite. Yeah, you may have done a thorough analyst on how you will act on something and boldly believe that you will attain good luck upon it.

What a... Just a dumb... Like that's a conversation that I couldn't handle. Crypto.com. If I walked into that and someone was like, is it true that fortune favors the bold? No, fortune does not favor the bold. Well, it does on... Sometimes it does, but other times... Sometimes it's a diphthong. It calculated their chances, but nevertheless, one defined one definite thing about fortune that it is indefinite. You'd be like, dude, I...

I would just be in a fight with a guy. Like, they would suddenly go, how'd that fight get started? You're like, I don't even know if I can explain it. It was some fortune favors the bold conversation, and then it just got off the rails. It became a whirlwind. Yeah, a whirlwind. I mean, it was a whirlwind. Matt Damon was there. Yeah, he got crazy. Just Nate and Matt Damon fighting in a whirlwind.

All right. That's it, everybody. We love you. Can I promote a couple things? No. Okay. Oh, God. Here we go. I forget. We're not all selling out 6,000 cedars, dude. Yeah. Go.

No, I'm joking. Yeah, you can promote it. I just forget. I don't remember how to do it. April 15th and 16th at Wise Guys. We're co-headlining. That's on sale. We jumped the gun last week, but now it's on sale. Salt Lake City. Yep. Salt Lake City, everybody. April 15th and 16th. Yep. And this weekend, I'm in Cape Girardeau, Missouri at Laughing Gas Comedy Club. And then the end of February, I'm at St. Louis Helium. I'm headlining. I've never headlined there. I'm very excited. That's great. It's a great club. It's exciting.

March 4th and 5th. I'm with Leanne Morgan, March 4th in Madison, Wisconsin, 5th in Minneapolis. So you can go to her website to get tickets there. And don't forget February 22nd, the Facebook, Nate Land Facebook, uh, fan page, baby shower. Oh yeah. There you go. Uh,

I guess more details will be posted on that Facebook page. Yeah. You probably should put our live. We have a live show on the 18th. Let's make sure you get your baby shower in there. But that's April 18th. This is February 22nd. Never mind. Sorry. Everybody just go to the baby shower. Don't even come to the live thing. And it's online. Yeah, it's online. Yeah. All right. Thank you. Again, we love you. And I'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.

Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating on comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land podcast.