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Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous two-year contracts, they said, what the f*** are you talking about, you insane Hollywood a**hole?

So to recap, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. $45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes per detail. Hello, folks. Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi. Brian Bates here and Weber here. Welcome. I don't know. It's going to start. Yeah, because we're pre-recording this one for...

a future when your baby's here. Oh, you think that'll be the next time we need it? Yeah. We're going to hold onto it till I hope your baby just sees, just sees you sitting at the end of this table. Like it just, I just imagine your baby's 30 now and just going back and looking at this and like, where's your dad?

And then just you, hello folks, short sleeves. I already have jokes about as soon as she comes out of the womb and sees me, she's going to be doing that. I'm going to get lost in the parking garage leaving the hospital. But, well, this shirt, Kevin, our friend Kevin makes this shirt. I don't think I've ever worn it on the show. That shirt's unbelievable. I haven't seen that. No, it's a good shirt. But to your point, I did when Ruth had the high blood pressure, we had to go to the ER, I was wearing this shirt, and they're checking us in, and I see the woman just kind of

Yeah. And I realize I'm wearing a shirt of myself. Yeah. She's like, oh, God. Yeah. This guy's going to be. Hello. She's talking to you like that. Hi. She's like, put two masks on, please. How are you doing? You made it. You live on your own now. Yeah, I'm on now. Because that's good. Yeah, it's Kramer.

You live on, yeah, live on now. I think that's the tops. I think that's the tops. You're not doing that too bad for yourself. Yeah, it's got Nate Land Podcast. Yeah. Kevin does a great job. Oh, yeah. Well, Kevin's great. He's the best. Kevin Best. But they, yeah, that is funny. Like you are, that's what the, you're Kramer of that episode. You're just the tops. They think I'm special. Mel Torme. Yeah. And you would be going to see Mel Torme. I don't think I knew who Mel Torme was. And I don't think I really even do now.

Outside of that Seinfeld. I had heard of him. Was he like a Vegas guy? I guess so. I guess. I don't know. I mean, I think he was pretty well known, but it was back 40s and 50s or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it next to Mel? Related to Marissa Torme? Different spelling. I know. It's a great name, Mel Torme.

I'm sure it's like the velvet fog. It's like you're going to know who he is. You would know exactly who he is and all that stuff. I mean, I think that's what he was called, right? I think that's what Seinfeld did good where they would just give you someone like that. Maybe everybody knows Mel Torme, but they give you something like that. You're like, I guess I should know him. And then the name is so like, yeah, Mel Torme. Mel Torme I knew, but one that he gave that I had no idea about.

is when I think Jerry's parents think he's running low on money and they call the, I think it's the Cadillac episode. And they call the club and they're like, they didn't have you listed. And he says, oh, I don't go by myself. I go by Slappy White. Do you know who that is? I don't know. He's a veteran Chitlin Circuit comedian. And he traveled with Red Fox and he was on Sanford and Son and

And when Red Fox finally made it on Seffron Sun, he booked all his former friends, had never done anything, and he was one of them. Oh, wow. All those guys were comedians. The woman who played Ann Esther, she was a comedian on what they called the Chitlin Circuit. Yeah. And he just brought all his friends along. Oh, that's cool. He would tell them, find a spot in the show for this guy. Yeah. And then they would just have to do it. Yeah. But it's so funny that Jerry, Slappy White, is just such a very unique reference. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. I thought it was interesting. No, that is super interesting for sure. Yeah, it is. You know why I know Slappy White? Jeff Ross mentions him in a joke. If you ever watch the roast of Emmett Smith online, Jeff Ross, he's talking about how he's the only white guy there and he says, we got everybody but Slappy White in here. And that's the only thing I've ever heard that name until you just described it. Okay. Yeah.

It's going to be a good episode. We're rolling in. It just got obscure. When you go from Seinfeld, it just kept getting more obscure. The roast of Emmett Smith. You ever see the roast of Emmett Smith? You're like, I don't, I mean, maybe. It's a great roast, dude. I'm sure it is. I'm sure it's a great roast. Jeff Ross says,

Every comic up here dreamed of being a Dallas Cowboy one day, but the only one who even came close was Monique. She's up there. It's just the place he rubs. Yeah, Jeff Ross is unreal.

Paul Antonio, they're good right in the comments, been rewatching the old episodes. And I have to say there has been zero character to development on the part of any of our three hosts over the course of the last year and a half, except maybe in our perspective of Aaron and his fall from grace as a supposed secret genius.

Commenters on earlier episodes liked saying things like, hope you guys never change and you're definitely held up your end of the bargain. Good luck. Good luck, Kim Payson, 2022. But you not being a secret genius has been... That's earth shattering, for sure. That's a big one. Everybody's in Notre Dame. He's got all this kind of stuff and just... The dumbest of all of us. A letdown. You're only as smart as the company you keep, honestly. That's true. You know? Yeah. So you would be better if you were like on a science podcast...

Y'all would be like saying stuff. I'd be the dumb guy on a science podcast for sure. But we bring you down is what you're saying. No, I'm saying we're meeting in the middle somewhere. Aren't you an average of the five people you're most around? I've never heard that. What is that from? I think it's Tony Robbins. Is it really? Yeah. He said you're an average of the... Or something like, yeah, the...

But the five people you're closest to is how you're going to act. Okay. I believe that. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be like, it's kind of yourself. I guess that's who you'd want to hang out. Like, yeah, that's why your friends are always going to be kind of like everybody's friends you look alike, kind of. Like you end up just being around people that are you. But I hope if I've gotten dumber, I hope I'm getting funnier. I would take that trade any day of the week. One day. And...

He shot that down so quick. Yeah, we'll see. I think so. Eventually. Ryan Zuber. I just said, too, like people hang out. I'm not trying to describe racism. I got that moment. I go, yes, that's why we all just hang out with our own kind. To look like us. To look like us. Yeah, that's why I think more people should be hanging out with each other.

Stick to your own. Yeah. I mean, take either of them, this podcast. It's stick to your own. You know? They land podcasts. Ryan Zuber. Right up after that. Tonight, just before sending my third grade son, Cy...

to bed. A Planet Fitness commercial was playing on TV. He said, if Aaron ever went inside, he could have been in the commercial. I love the show references my kids randomly throw out. Thanks for giving my whole family some laughs to look forward to weekly. That's very cool. Yeah. We got a new one. Got a new one. Racism. Yeah. Let's do that one. Don't say that one in school. Jace Huppertich. J-A-C Hooperich. Hooperich. H-U-P-P-E-R-I-C-H.

I am 12 years old, and I listen to your podcast all the time. My mom says I should read more instead of listening to your podcast at night, but it helps me go to sleep. I want to hear Nate try to pronounce this word. Try to guess what it means. I think you did a pretty good job. Yeah. Yeah.

You give up towards the three quarters in. You kind of just go, let's get through it. And then I hit the phobia. It looks like somebody just jammed their fingers on a keyboard. Yeah. It actually means something. It does look like it. Scared of hippos? Scared of something. No, it's very funny. Yeah. It's a fear of long words. Oh. That's kind of a mean trick they did. Yeah, that's funny. Hippopotamonstrosikapediphobia.

How would, what kind of job would you have to be like, if you're like, I got to say this word more than you realize, like what would it like? Well, I mean, if you're a psychologist or something, I guess that's like, you know, it's like, yeah, but somebody, I guess, realized there wasn't a word to describe the fear of

long words and they just to be funny said this make a really long word. Yeah. I wonder who that is. Like who gets to come up with that? Charlie Chaplin. Mel Torme. Mel Torme. Miriam or Webster maybe. I don't know. Could be Shakespeare. He did a bunch of stuff. He did. He did do a lot of stuff. Yeah. Daniel Ault. Would y'all ever consider doing the podcast while playing a round of golf? I mean I would. I don't think you'd want to

listen to it. Be a long episode. I don't think I, my buddy Doug who did her music at the top. We are talking about doing like a golf thing. The hard part is you're not going to care. I think the audience, you're not, you think you're going to, you think you'd want it.

Some people I'm saying might want it, but that number of people are very limited. I think it would have to be like the Krispy Kreme Challenge, really edited down. Yeah. Like the Krispy Kreme Challenge is like, that's why we did it the way we did. It was on top. It was like a bonus thing. Yeah. Because then you don't feel bad being like, well, this is an extra thing. Yeah. So if you don't, if this is not your thing, then it's not, then we're doing it. We're not trying to trick you into not doing a real episode. So it could be something like that.

It'd be video heavy though. But I mean, yeah, I was like, I was saying when I did my golf podcast, I've ever done one. You shot a video once out on the course. Eric Andersling. Wait. The one in Missouri we're at? Oh, yeah. Did that ever air? Yeah. That one was, no. I don't think so. Mike Lavin and Nick? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Nick got drunk. Talking about playing golf. Tiger Woods course in New York.

In Branson. Yeah. In the where he goes. Go play with him out there. It's a long one. Who, me? Yeah. That's when y'all played 36 that day, right? No, no. We played. Okay. I remember you were wiped out one of those days. Yeah. Yeah. That was like, it's Tiger Woods course, but that was one that you're like, all right, we got to pick the ball up.

I missed, do you remember that part three? I missed a short putt for birdie. Yeah. Yeah. You know, one almost whole. Yeah. Wow. How'd the rest of it go? Oh, yeah. I mean, I would have, you said you'd go to the airport right now. I'd go, I'll take it. Ryan Lynch. What's the longest set any of you has ever performed? Have you ever done two hours of material? Uh,

I still think the longest I've maybe done is at 115 or something. And I almost think I did it maybe an hour 20. Like I did it. It was in a real bad situation. I think I've ever, never talked about it. Like the, I did a show in Maine and it was a lock-in.

And so they, it's, you know, like, I don't, some people don't know what lock-in is, but it's like, so instead of like prom, so especially like smaller towns, so they don't go out and drink and drive and blah, blah, whatever. They, they just rented out like a place that had bumper boats and mini golf and all this. And so then the kids just stay there all night. And so I was a comic. And so they hired me to perform. I performed in one of the rooms.

And I would say it would take me, I remember going alone to this gig. Like I always said that when I was performing in the room, I was performing, it would take you a minute to find me because people are just walking around you. Like, it's not like you have a, you're just in a corner. So there's a, like kind of a runway in the middle where everybody's walking. And then there's some people kind of sitting behind watching. But I mean, if you walked in, you would be like, where's the comedian? And you would, you'd have to find me.

And I think I talked for an hour and 20-something minutes just because of the pure chaos alone was you're like, you're not doing material. You know, you try, and then you're just like, end up like talking to people. Kids are like grabbing the microphone. Like, I mean, it's just not good. So I think that's still to this day probably the longest. Was that a high school? It was for a high school. Okay, yeah. And so, yeah, it was like a wreck. How long had you been doing college? That sounds awful, man. Yeah.

I mean, I don't know, six years or something like that. I mean, not long, you know, where you don't know how to handle that. But then you're driving to Maine. I remember driving to Maine that night. They're like, a moose could just be in the middle of the road. You're going to hit it. It just falls on you and you die. Like, it was just all the stuff, you know, that you're scared of. Yeah. You're like, oh, this is going to be. But I always remember that. And that was the longest I ever did. I've done an hour. You know, I've hit 70 probably. But I don't ever do –

Two hours. I mean, I would like to do more. I want to eventually, I hope to, I don't, it's not going to be right. Like I said, I do an hour. I would like to do, I would like to be, you know, eventually up to, you know, in a couple of years, be doing like 75, 80. You can do a one man show, 90 minutes. You're going to do that. If I could ever do it, I could see wanting to do it. I mean, I do, I like bringing people, comics on the road and having people with you, but

But I could see wanting to do, I think it's like, you know, you got to want, it's a delicate amount of time because you got to realize your whole night is this kind of thing. So you need to be, the show, an hour and a half show is a good, usually a good amount of show. So an hour and a half, hour 45, somewhere, hour and a half to two is probably, you know, give or take, that should be almost your whole experience of being in the place, I think. Yeah.

And then you watch the show and it's funny and then you, you know, and then you just, you hit hard and you get out. But two hours, yeah, I don't, I wouldn't. I know a lot of comics that do. I did my longest set ever this weekend. Oh, really? I did like 56 minutes. Oh, yeah. That's as long as I'd ever done. Yeah. And I told them they wanted an hour and I told them before I started, I was like,

It might be best if it's going to be closer to 45, just a heads up. But I was having fun. I just kept going. It feels pretty good to get off. I looked at my watch. I was like, oh, my God. I haven't been on that long. And I never really felt like I was reaching for stuff. That's a pretty good feeling. Yeah. You got to slow down.

You ever feel like you're like up there and you're like, well, I got to slow this down. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's how I felt at the beginning. And then your, your mind will just be like, I don't know if I know any joke ever that I've ever told. And then you're just stuck. It's, uh, you know, you have all these old jokes, but you're like, I don't know if I could do it's, you know, it's hard. It's like when you get stuff really tight in the way it should be on stage, I'm a big, you shouldn't have stuff loose. It should be able to be tight.

If you can't tighten it, I think it's... I don't know. Unless it's not tight for a reason. Like if you're not tight for...

You know, because you're like setting up a bigger thing later. Like, so, you know, you could have a joke. I remember having one joke that would be kind of not, it wouldn't be funny, but the setup needed to be a couple minutes long, just wouldn't be funny. And then the Davies story about the gay street or whatever, like that one was like the front is just kind of setting it up. Doesn't need to be really funny. I could get a couple chuckles, maybe. You're kind of, I don't need, just enough to know you're interested in listening, right?

And then the payoff is boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. So it's like, but I was, the longer you get from a laugh, the bigger the laugh has to be. So if you stay somewhat near the laughs, you can always, and you can build momentum off like, you know, and then like it sets them off. It's pretty awesome. It's pretty crazy. We were talking about down there, like this weekend I felt it was, just doing it 19 years. It's like, it's, it's, I love it.

Like I was talking about the motivation to do in comedy, like in everything, like you got to get excited again. You got to, you got to all this kind of stuff. Like we were talking, you know, saying like your, your son would always say if you, if he could go back to the time when no one knew him,

It's like there was nothing funner than that to make the people laugh that didn't know you. And I can still go a lot of places where people wouldn't know me. But it's like when they come see you now, they do know you. But then it's the excitement of going, well, they have these expectations of you. So can I be better than the expectations? Can I exceed those? Can I exceed their expectations? And so like there is like you got to have some kind of challenge or you don't care. And for me, if I don't have that kind of like –

I'm trying to win you over in some way, then you could be like, what do I care? And that's where I think people can get where stuff becomes a paycheck and you're going, I don't care. It's like, I'm just, yeah, I put on, you're talented enough to put on a whatever show and who cares and whatever. But that's where you got to be aware of that. You got to be aware to make sure that doesn't go away.

And like, so you got to find the thing that'd be like, when you go on the road and you keep doing these cities and it's every night and there's times you don't, you're like, I don't know where I was. I don't know where I am. Like, I don't, you're just, you're just hitting, but you gotta be like, but it's, it's, it's about the stage. It's about, I mean, that's the whole point. Live performances are,

such a beautiful kind of thing that's, that seems like it's going away. Like it's like, so now it's like you go, I get to, it's almost, I get to go up and try to show them, can I be better than what they expected me to be? And then that's the same feeling I had before when I first started. And he was like, can I, like if you're a new comic, just be like, can I, I can't wait to murder in front of these people. If you have that kind of excitement,

that's the excitement you always need. It's not about, the joke's got to work to murder, but it's like sometimes, I don't know if you can get too bogged down. It's like, it's still a performance. Go murder. Go try to be like, can I make them laugh? How hard can I make these people laugh? That's the excitement. I remember having that.

Everybody did that we started with, but it was like, that was a big, like, it's the old running thing of every comic thinks if a crowd's bad and everybody goes, I'll get them. We all think that. We all think, well, I know how to, y'all don't know what you're doing. I'll get them. And sometimes the crowds, you're like, yeah, no one's getting them. They're just that bad. But if you don't have the attitude of like, well, I could probably get them. Then that's, you need to have that attitude. Not saying you say it, not saying you're not obnoxious about it, but in your mind, you should go, I'll get them.

I'll get them. It's a little bit of, I think of it as like calibrated delusion a little bit. Yeah. Where you have no evidence or any reason to think that you are going to do better, but you're like, it's in there. Yeah. I'm going to do it. But I'll do it. Yeah, I'll figure it out. Yeah, I'll figure it out. This is what I'm good at. Yeah. It's cool. It's a...

Yeah. I mean, I just, yeah, doing standup is like doing it over this long time. It's just so fun to see how, you know, and it's like, I still don't think I know what I'm doing, but that's what's crazy. I look at that comedy stage back there. It's the 15 year anniversary just past of you doing that. And I just 15 years this week, I took my first standup comedy class. Oh, wow. So I've been doing it a while now. That's pretty cool, man. Uh, yeah, it takes people longer than other. Yes, it does. It does. That was mean.

but I had to do it. It was right there. It was getting too serious. It was getting too serious. But it is like, yeah, it's just interesting. But you've been able to see a difference of you. Like, it's like crazy. Absolutely. Yeah. We always talk about like, too, like would be,

the way you tell jokes at the beginning, like they'd be too downer. Like people like feel bad for you. Like where you got to learn how to do that. Like the beginning was some of that would happen when we first went on the road together. You could see, you could go up there and it's like almost like you can be too sad. Same as I used to have the wife stuff that was like, I've talked about where people are like, well, it sounds like you hate her. And then you're like, well, I'm not, that's not the point of this. So I need to figure out how to get that across to,

Because if you can get it across that there's love behind it, then I can talk about anything. And if you can make it in front of yourself and you can get across... Like, me being dumb, I have to be careful to be... I can't be so dumb that you're going to go... Like, you feel sad. You got to be dumb enough, but people still are like, no, I get it. Like, you just didn't...

You didn't think when you did, you know, a bit of an airhead, you know? Yeah. It's like a mix of that, but there is, you know, it's like, uh, this podcast on the other hand, wide open, wide open. Well, you hear it.

I don't have a filter. It's not protected. Yeah. It's real time. It's real time. So it's like, yeah, I try not to, I don't want people to know as much, which I got a joke about that now, but it's, yeah, you try not to now, but now you say something and you're like, people are like, Ooh, you're like, I don't know. Talk about the universe. And they're like, good night, man. They're like, I can't handle this. And I'm like, I didn't know people went to this much school. Uh,

Kevin Robleski. Rob, Robleski. I bet Robleski or Rob. I bet it's Robleski. W-R. I'm guessing Robleski. Robleski. That's my guess. My wife is sick and tired of me saying nightmare. She just found out where I acquired the habit, but she did buy me. She did buy me tickets to the Houston show February 12th. I don't think I read that sentence even remotely right. No.

I read it. I mean, if you could see it typed out. My wife is sick and tired of me saying nightmare. She recently found out where I acquired this habit, but she did buy me tickets to the Houston show February 12th. I'm not reading it the way- That's way better. You were hung up on Robleski still, I think. Yeah. Yeah, you got it right that time. Basically, even though his wife found out

It was me. He says, nightmare from you. She still was nice enough to buy him tickets to see you. Yeah. You should have heard what he was saying before nightmare. Yeah. He was saying some awful stuff. J.R. Baker. Nate Dogg. Nate Dogg. I used to call him Nate Dogg in high school. I was always called Nate Dogg. It was so much that I thought I would never... I was like, I don't know if I'll ever get my name back. Yeah. Because it was only called Nate Dogg. When did that go away? When he went away. And there...

did he die who nate dog oh you're probably too old for it he was a rapper in the 90s yeah i was like what are you talking about i thought you just said you're a date he died in 2011 yeah yeah so nate dog was uh yeah famous but so everybody nate dog everybody knew that so i got called nate dog uh and so you never heard nate dog i have but i didn't know it was a rapper yeah yeah uh

You already had a real job when he got years active, 1990, 2008, Channel 5. Yeah. You're doing the news. Nate Dogg, A-Dub, and Bisquick. I've been preaching for 25-ish years, and I like to think I'm pretty entertaining and funny. Do you think those skills could translate at all to stand-up comedy, or do you think it's apples and oranges? I know y'all have plenty of church experience, so I thought y'all might be able to weigh in.

I don't think you got a chance, JR. No, I'm joking. You would have a chance. It's the tightness is what people, the tightness is, I think, something people don't realize. You listen to when someone tells a story. When you have a regular person, you have one of your buddies telling you a story, really think about the story they're telling you and go like, how much is necessary of this story? And you can start, I mean, I notice it a lot now, but

It'd be curious if you're listening to this to like, don't say anything. Just like if someone goes, I got a story for you, just be in your head and be like, all right, let me see. Yeah. Because I think you would notice like, oh, yeah, it's the same thing. It's repeated. It's something that should be a sentence. It shouldn't be a whole story. A lot of times a story is, I think when someone tells it, it's, they take like, the funny thing will be like,

your squirrels in your car or whatever. Like that's the whole point of you even wanting to tell a story. But then you will say, so two weeks ago, I parked the car and now you're walking me through like all of it. And then it's like, all right, dude. And then by the time you get to the squirrels, I don't know if I even care. Right.

And so it's like, you got to be like, well, what's the, when you think of a story, like what's the, what's the main thing I want to get to and what's the fastest way for me to get to it? How much do I really need? Do I need to tell you that I parked the car two weeks ago and I didn't know? Is it, you know, I don't know the wires, but we've had trouble with our car. You know, it's like, how do you, you know, how do you tell it? But I mean, if he's a, if he's a pastor and he, for 25 years, I mean, yeah, he talks, he knows how to,

make stuff where people are listening. He knows how to stand on stage, hold a mic. Yeah. It's just a different thing. Yeah. I'm impressed that every, they can do that every week. It's a totally different message. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They say, I mean, he's a, he's a talker. You gotta be able to be a talker. And, uh, I, yeah, I mean, you could do it. I mean, it would just be, it's, it's the same way. Like I was thinking about to give, I don't really ever have to do it, but like people want to do stand up. But if I had to give a speech or something, uh,

Could I do it? I mean, I guess if I prepared it, you know. Yeah, you could. You know how to talk. I mean, this guy could... He could get up and talk and do it. I don't... It's somewhat... The skill set is somewhat the same. It would be... If you can get laughs, you got to realize, though, like when you're... I would say the only thing would be, are your laughs coming from... You're doing this in a place where people are not expecting laughs. Those laughs...

could be easier than if you go in a comedy room, I expect everybody to be really funny. So are your jokes going to be as fun? Like that's what I would be conscious of to be like, all right, like, yeah, I'm getting laughs at church. Well, I'm the only one being funny at church. But if I go to a Zany's, yeah,

Well, now the crowd's like, well, everybody's supposed to be really funny. Maybe the jokes are, you know, I would, I'm not saying that he's one way or the other, but I would say I would at least think about that. The expectations are totally different. Yeah. Expectations are different. So I would think like, all right, what's funny in church is,

how much do I have that? How much can I tighten up? You know, but if a guy's funny, I mean, he's a guy can be, have you ever heard? This is one of my favorite clips ever. I had never heard of the guy outside of this clip, but apparently he's a, he's big. John Piper's his name. He's speaking to a group of Christian counselors at some conference. And my understanding of the story is, have you heard of this before? Yeah.

He got switched with a comedian at the last second. So he goes out there and the crowd thinks he's a comedian. He's a very serious, intense guy. And he's given this speech and he...

unbeknownst to him he doesn't understand why he's like murdering at this conference yeah and he keeps getting laughs and then he keeps being like guys i don't know why this is a very serious thing and that gets a huge laugh and he just can't stop killing at this thing funny just the context was uh context does it show like a highlight of it or yeah it's a longer i can kind of fast forward a little bit in here and you'll get an idea of the kind of laughs he's getting yeah

But he just cannot understand why he's killing so hard. - The time, namely, God knows totally all the time whether any speaker is a fraud or a hypocrite. So you may as well know as well if he knows. - You hear the crowd laugh. - It's a wake up call to speak to people like you. I've never done anything like this before. A wake up call to the realities of pretense in my life.

suspecting that any attempt at schmoozing would be known right away. So I thought I would spare you the analysis and just go ahead and tell you up front that I'm a sinner. And I'm a man who

To be more specific, must crucify. He goes on. It's a very serious talk that he's given. That's so great. That's so great. I mean, it's like, yeah, we're, we're, we're send a, I need to watch the whole thing. It's five minutes long. So it's like, I don't want to make y'all.

But, God, that's so good. Because it's like no one has any idea. I mean, that's just great. And you can understand if you go into it thinking this guy is going to be funny. He kind of had the timing of, I kind of get it. Well, that's probably the answer to this is going like, it's the context of like, yeah, that guy actually might do good because in the context they think it's going to be whatever. So they think, yeah, if you think this guy, you're like, I guess this is the character he's doing of just being funny.

You know, like, you're like, all right, I guess he's just doing this. I'm a sitter. I'm a sinner. Just big. Yeah. He goes, all right. You can tell too. You can tell when someone's confused, like on state, like when they, it's like when they talk a little slower, like he knows how to get through the speech, but how it's slow. He's going like, something's not like, something's not there. He's like registering. He's going, why?

He's like, what is, you know, that's where he's got to think is my zipper down is my, you know, is someone behind me? Like, I mean, you know, that's where I've sometimes you get a laugh. You can get a laugh so hard on stage. And I was that out. We always talk about like your zipper being down, but I've thought that someone walk out behind me and like is doing something.

And sometimes like a joke just hits that hard. You're like, you kind of like, I'll turn sideways. You're like, let me make sure no one's like, someone's not backstage. They're going like waving. And then I'm like, oh, I thought it was me. You know? That's funny. Luke. Jer. Wahardo. J. Wahjardo. What's a G? G. U-A-J. Gujardo. Gujardo. Gujardo. Yeah. Yeah.

Luke Guajardo. I think that's how you should go by. I think everybody would come up to you and go, Luke, they go, Guajardo? You go, no, Guajardo. You go, oh. So like you say, yeah, you're the only one that does it. The Guajardo family could be like, we're not wasting everybody's time. You have to get, we're...

What you see is what you get in the Gajardo family. I started listening to this podcast about two or three months ago when I realized this was the last episode I felt so lost and didn't know what to do. I then thought about Aaron Land and said to myself sadly, okay, I'll listen to that for a while. That while I wait for the next episode of Nate Land. I was surprisingly disappointed when I found out that Aaron Land was not real.

I looked for it for about an hour and then realized that maybe it was a joke. I'm probably more gullible than Mick. Little did you know, Luke, you've been listening to it for a while. Yeah. You just got through Aaron Lane just as quick. Piece by piece. Well, go check out Batesville and your view of it. Yeah, that's a real thing. That's a real thing.

Matthew Rogers. My dad used to work at the DuPont plant back in the day, and I decided to show him Tennessee Kid, being that he's from Knoxville. When Nate's Earth Day joke came on and he mentioned the plant, we paused the special and did the math to find out that he was inside the plant when Nate was outside planting a tree. It truly is a small world. Love the podcast, y'all. How fun is that? That's awesome. Look at that. That's crazy. I like that. That is funny. You can ask him, too. We also got to look at Jeff Gordon's car.

That day? No, I don't know if it was that day. Maybe it was another day. Oh, because he was sponsored by DuPont. Yeah. For some reason, I thought he was there, but maybe it was just his car. I was little. I remember his car. I mean, this was when Jeff Gordon was- About as big as it gets. Yeah. It might have been an old Hickory DuPont plant next to his-

and then see if there's a picture and you see me there. See you there in the car? Yeah. That would be pretty impressive. Didn't really change much. No, he wasn't there. This is it right here, man. No, he was like out. I kind of remember it out, you know, but maybe it was just the car. Maybe the car was there and he wasn't there. I need to ask him. Jeff, let me ask you something. Did you ever go, Jeff Gordon, if you've listened to this, did you ever go to the old Hickory DuPont plant and drive your car there?

Master Craftster. Master Craftster. We've had... That's fun. Have we had Master Craftster? I feel like we have. I love the funny stories of things that happen at your shows. I was in a Christian rock brand and played at a show in an outdoor youth festival. The next day, I had a teenager come up to me and at my regular job at Walmart and saw me and said, aren't you a singer in a band?

I said, yes. And they said, yeah, I got your CD and autograph yesterday. Then he said, so you just work at Walmart? I said, yep. And he said, huh, and turned around. As he was walking away, I heard his buddy chuckle and say, dude, you got the produce guy's autograph. Yeah.

That's entertainment. If someone wants to get into entertainment, that's what it is. I mean, usually you're just lucky enough that that never happens to you. That's your biggest fear because we all have jobs, and then your biggest fear is to get recognized. So you're like, well, no one cares. So then that to happen is like, you're like, yeah, dude, that was...

every day you'd wake up and be like, I don't want that. I mean, you know, when I've had all my whatever jobs, I remember doing, you do Conan. Next day, go to a day job. Yeah. Yeah. When I used to drive for Uber, you never know you're going to pick up. Never know you're going to pick up. I mean, it could be somebody to show. Did you ever get recognized or have you ever yet?

When you drive for Uber? You drive for Uber too? No. I'm just meaning any job. In general. The only place I've been recognized a few times outside of the context of a show is the airport. Yeah. I met a couple people at the airport. But not at a job you had. No, not. I worked office jobs, so people aren't really coming in and out. They know you're a comedian. The people that I work with? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Most of them. Yeah. When you drive for, you, you, you may recognize you as the driver of the Uber. I don't think they ever did, but I always worried or I didn't really worry about it. Yeah. I would actually, you would love it. Yeah. I've actually been honored if somebody, but I thought about it because I mean, I used to have a joke about it. I would start right after the show. So sometimes I turn it on and they could be right there at the club and I just take them home. Yeah. Would you really started that soon? Um,

I would start sometimes right after. Yeah. I was already downtown, so I would just turn it on when I left. I would, though, make sure I got away from like Zanis or something. You ever try out jokes on your passengers? No. You should have done it just for the story of, can't you still do it? Do you still have it? Have what? The Uber?

Or you have to like read. Legally, could you just go do it right now? No, I'd have to. I mean, it's not hard. Yeah. You just got to update your license and your proof of insurance. Yeah. Okay. I could probably do it this afternoon. Yeah. You got to do it just right after the show, after the Nailand podcast. Yeah. Just go. Just have everyone climb in? You go, all right, there's one Uber. Yeah.

Brian, everybody wait. And then now just whoever wins gets to, gets to be taken home by you. It's like a surprise. It's like, uh, I'll do that anyway. Yeah. Don't have to pay me. Yeah. And they, they just do it. Yeah. Uh,

Bailey Johnson. My grandma used to clean out syrup bottles and fill them with cleaning supplies. When I was three, I thought I was diving into some Griffin syrup. Turns out I drink bleach. She had to call poison control and they told me to eat a cracker and I'd puke it up. Shortly after this incident, I accidentally burned down her kitchen by turning on a toaster oven. I feel like she should have seen that coming. It is what it is. Yeah, that's a story maybe I want to hear more about.

She got right to it. Yeah. Right to it. Trimmed all the fat. Yeah. There's none. It's pretty good. God, why would you? Is bleach not white? Bleach is pretty. She was three. Oh. Yeah. She didn't even know colors yet. Yeah. Why would you? Yeah, that's true. And you're three and you're already addicted to Griffin syrup. There's Griffin syrup. I've never heard of this brand. Yeah.

Did we talk about this on the John Reap episode? I feel like. Yeah, he had a, his said his family would fill up old syrup bottles for water bottles. Yeah. But was it not Griffins? I think it was a different. Maybe. Yeah. But Bailey, I mean, she was, yeah, she was three. So, but eating syrup. I mean, it's just wildly, the grandmother was like, I just never imagined. Yeah.

Where would you keep the syrup? Under the sink. Yeah, I guess under the sink. Oh, I totally misread it. It was full of bleach. Okay, but it was in a Griffin syrup bottle. Yeah. I totally misunderstood. Yeah, no, but it's still, it's a clear bottle and bleach is white. But if you're three, you have no idea. Okay. And so, you know, but then she burns the kitchen down. I turn on a toaster oven.

Burn down our kitchen. Bailey. And Bailey is almost probably not welcome. Sounds like payback. Yeah.

Jeff Lionel. I live in Lebanon, Tennessee with my wife and we are huge fans of the show. We were at the live taping at Zany's and we both agreed Aaron was funnier than we thought he'd be. My wife is in an emergency room. I get that. My wife is in an emergency room doctor at Vanderbilt. If you ever get there for a visit, make sure to ask for her. I'm a woodworker and would love to make something for the show or for baby breakfast. Free of charge. I believe Brian and I would be great friends if you ever want to hang out.

Let them know. You and Jeff. I would love to, Jeff. Yep. There you go. Come to Lebanon. Give you a ride. What would you like made out of wood? Oh, that's a good question. How about this? You have good furniture? A crib.

Oh, I like you throwing that on him. It's pretty big. He offered. He offered. Free of charge. He's like, oh, God. All right. An extra bedroom. Yeah. We need this half bath. We need another bath. Yeah. Jeff is like, I mean, he's like working for, you know. Are we going to be friends or not? Come on, man. Yeah.

And I mean, Jeff and his wife, you're at the emergency room all the time too. So like you'd be, you just would be him and his. In their life. Yeah. They're just like, golly, dude, he's never not around us. How do we not already know each other? Yeah. We just have him here at all times.

Ryan Rhodes, I am roughly the same age as Nate and have three beautiful children, but the thought of having another absolute terrifies me. So I scheduled a vasectomy. As the doctor was prepping me for the procedure, he asked me if I would be okay if he interviewed another doctor he was thinking of hiring during the vasectomy. I said, okay, and he pages the nurse to send the other doctor back to our room.

Keep in mind, I'm on full display and the doctors has done all the prayer work and just about to start surgery. The new doctor enters the room with a hearty, hello folks. And I don't know if it was the nervous energy or what, but before my doctor can even respond to yell, let's go folks. I look up to see both doctors staring at me, probably wondering why I'm so adamant about starting this immediately to make matters worse.

I just kept replaying the situation over and over in my head and found myself chuckling throughout the procedure so much so that the doctor had to actually tell me to stop laughing. He assured me afterwards that no one had ever laughed during a vasectomy before, and he for sure thinks I am a psychopath. Anyway, thanks to Nate, Aaron, and Beanball for making a really uncomfortable situation go a little easier. Man, that's funny. That's amazing. That is a tough, you know, that's a tough, you know,

Like you might have an interview. Like it's just, you want to go like, well, I don't, you got to jam it in that much. Like I would, you know. How busy are you, dude? Yeah. Can't go meet in your office somewhere. And this other doctor, how about you're not hired because you walk in and go, hello, like you're not, you're, you make some big grand entrance to be like, he, Ryan should have been like, yo, the whole thing is not good, dude. Like, I'm sorry, I'm laughing. You got half the hospital in here.

Do you mind if I run some errands while we do this vasectomy? I took it as... And just laid out. I took it as maybe...

He's asking him questions in the interview about the procedure, things like that. I'm pretty jam-packed today, dude. I got this interview. I got to interview this guy. Can I just do it while I'm- Do you mind if we may or may not hire this person? Do you mind if he comes and see you at your most exposed and hopefully he stays here and doesn't ever talk about it? Or he might go and you could be a story. He goes, yeah, you'll see him later.

bartending and he's like yeah I thought about being a vasectomy doctor then I just changed my mind now he goes big and then he's like this is the guy I did remember that one interview I did it was this guy right here like that's the risk that you're running of just going just being like you know does he really want to do it that's what I would be the guy never got hired that's great it's like you're doing that it's like don't even just just let him come in like I would be like I don't even want to know

I would feel better like, you know. Yeah. Knock me out and do whatever you want. Yeah. They not knock you out during that, I guess. Apparently not. Probably sedate you. Yeah. I mean, that would be first on the list of surgeries I want to be knocked out for. Yeah. Other than like heart surgery. Yeah. That would be first. Well, you had to pick one or the other. You know, do you mind if everybody comes in? My wife and I have been fighting. Do you mind if she comes in during this vasectomy? Yeah.

We just need to spend time together. Our babysitter called out sick. Do you mind if my kids, all my kids and my family come in? I told you the story about going to have a spot roof for my face. And they told me to put on a hospital gown. And I've never been in the hospital. So I didn't know if you're supposed to take your clothes off or not.

So I started, I was, for some reason in my head, I thought it would look dumber if I still had my clothes on when they come with the gown. You have jeans on. So I just started stripping down. And right when I just get down to the bed, the nurse knocks on the door. And I was like, just a minute. And she's like, it's just me, hon. And I was thinking, man, we just met. Yeah. And she comes on in with an intern. Yeah. And I'm just whatever. She's like, oh, you didn't have to take your bottoms off, hon. Yeah. Yeah.

So where was your spot getting removed? Right here. Next to your eye. So then she has to leave the room and I have to completely put all my clothes back on and then the gown on. Why? Why did you have to put the gown on to begin with? To just keep blood from getting on me because that... I completely stripped down. Took your jeans off. I took everything off. My socks are off. Yeah.

It's like a normal doctor's office. They're going like, yeah, we don't do stuff like this, man. She had an intern with her. Yeah. Good night. Did they laugh? I think they were more startled than anything. But then I have to put it all back on and then he comes in with her and the intern and I'm just like, I know they've been out there talking about me.

Everybody talked about you. Yeah. Oh, everybody. Yeah. That was like, and they went home. The guy in 431 took all his clothes off. Yeah. Oh, good. Because he looks like he would have. They know immediately who you're talking. Yeah. Don't tell me. Let me guess. My wallet's gone. My wallet's gone. They should, I do think, all that kind of stuff, they should be, they should like,

I feel like they deal with that so much that they don't think they should say it. And I think doctors should say, hey, we need you to strip all the way down or we don't. Or maybe you just go like, unless they say strip all the way down, you just don't do it. Since then, I've had a couple of small procedures and they told you exactly what you're supposed to take off. Yeah, it's like they need to do that because you don't know.

They just assume that you're in and out. I mean, I understand. I get the reasoning behind you being like, so you go get a massage and you're like, what am I supposed to do? You know? And it's like, they can just be like, do whatever you feel comfortable. You're like, just tell me, just say what I'm supposed to do. I'm not, you know, and it's the, it's the same, you know,

Yeah. Just imagine Brian at the dentist. What are you doing? Seats cold. He goes, well, why would you say that's weird? Say that. Just for a cleaning. That is a, why do they say, why does the gown not always go all the way anyway?

You mean it's tied in the back? I don't know. But up until then, even when I visited the hospital, that's all they were wearing. So I associated with, you're supposed to take your clothes off. Yeah. To get it done on your eye. I mean, they don't... They could have almost done this procedure in your car. Like, it's not even a procedure that really needs you to... You stick your head in. Stick your neck in, and the rest stay outside. That's great. All right, so this week...

We're going to talk about talk shows. I just did one. How many of you have been on total? Late night. I think we just counted. I want to say I kind of lost count. I want to say 10 tonight shows and then two late nights with Fallon and four Conants. 16? It's a lot. It's a lot. Those. And then I haven't done anything. Daytime? I don't think I did any daytime. I did the one...

Like I did one in the Mexican one. Well, like Rich Eisen. Rich Eisen. He's done stuff like that. Yeah. I've done enough now that it's like you kind of know what to, you know. I've been in enough like the NFL. I went and did something like, you know, I've done enough now. But as far as the Tonight Shows and stuff like that, I've done 10. 10 with Fallon. 16 total. Had you ever or have you? I think 10.

And Rogan, which is bigger than maybe all of those combined. Well, that's true. Have you ever gone to a taping just as a fan? Did I ever go? I don't think so. I think my parents did once, but I don't think I ever did. I mean, I guess the closest thing, we went to PTI, if you count that. Yes. Yeah. I've been to Fallon, Letterman, and Conan. Just in the audience? Yeah.

Oh, wow. That's pretty cool. I've never been to any of those. Really? Aren't they all much smaller than you imagine? Everybody says that. You kind of notice that right away. You're like, it's way smaller. I think so, but it's basically like two rows that go up. So it would be like a section of bleachers. It's basically like there's an aisle down the middle and then rows. Say there's 20 people sitting all the way across, and then it goes up.

30 rows up or something. It's like that amount of people. Okay. And so, Conan and all that stuff was like that. Conan, when he went to TBS, uh, we needed that one, that audience was pretty big. It was, and, and the hard part with that one was when you'd go out and do comedy, you were actually pretty far away from the crowd. Uh-huh.

You were kind of over off to the – like if you remember TBS Conan, when he walked out, where he – well, he walked out to stand up, but you'd walk out and make a right, and that's where Conan was sitting. So Conan was kind of in the middle. And so if you did stand up, there's a pretty big gap between you and the person in the front row. And then there's other people that are way off to the side. They were pretty far away from you. I went to a taping of Conan. Like I've been with friends. Who were on it? Yeah, but I don't think I've – I don't know if I've just like –

I don't think I ever said it in like a crowd. Like, but I've done it where I wasn't performing. Mm-hmm. Uh, so they did a, uh, five-year analysis of late night TV from 2016 to 2020. What celebrity do you think was on the most? What was the years? 2016 to 2020. Uh, I ask you this. I don't think you'll, I mean, it's someone you know, but I don't think you'll get it. Ryan Reynolds. Uh, it's a good guess. Uh, yeah, it's a, uh,

Could it be Tom Hanks? Tiger Woods. Tom Hanks is a good guess. Ice Cube. 22 appearances over five seasons. Oh, really? Would I be up there? But that's over... Yeah. However many... It's more than five years. Yeah. But I've done 10 over...

Those are all panels, though. You know what I mean? That's the count. You only got one panel. Oh, okay. One and a half. I would say a stand-up could even probably be more than... I think it should. Well, I guess not. 22 over five years. That's a lot. Now, I don't know what they characterize him as. Is he a rapper? Is he an actor? Because then they break it down by which actor was on the most. Yeah. Bryan Cranston. Yeah. But that was the peak of Breaking Bad. Right. Athlete.

Someone that's going to Shaq? Yep. Wow. Shaq. Yeah, I think it's someone that's going to be wanting to go on and have the time to go on. Charles Barkley would be up there too. And reality TV star. Paris Hilton? The Situation. Kim Kardashian. Yeah. And then they did, broke it down by who has on the most athletes, reality stars, actors, stuff like that. Oh, round it out. Ricky Gervais and Nick Kroll each had 20 appearances. Oh. Hmm.

Oh, Will Forte, Patton Oswalt, Martin Short, each with 19. All funny guys. Jimmy Kimmel had the most musicians, athletes, and reality stars. Conan had the most comedians. There you go. Stephen Colbert had the most politicians. None of this surprises us. And James Corden had the most actors.

Yeah. So Fallon wasn't mentioned. I don't know. I thought that was great. Well, Fallon, they were switching. Tonight Show was going back and forth. Tonight Show's been throwing a lot of comics on now. Conan's always been very, very good. Conan was the first one I did. And Conan was always very good. They always had comics on. So, yeah, they did it. I remember my goal at the beginning was I wanted to do it once a year. Once I got on, I was like, I need to do it once a year. And I think I have.

I don't know if, yeah, I think I've done it once every year, I think. I'm almost even still now. I don't really now, I don't think that's not as much of a goal I have now, but I still kind of keep an eye on it. I think I've done it every year. Even 2020, you did it over Zoom, right? Yeah. And you did a set on it during COVID. Yeah, I actually just did it. So I just did it. I've already done it this year. Yeah. You've averaged more than one a year. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And that's because I stick with Tonight Show.

I think I could do other ones, but you just kind of stay loyal. It's like picking an airline, you know? Yeah, you just kind of stay loyal. I mean, I was like, I did Conan at the beginning. Then it was like when Fallon went to, I just did Conan again. And then that's when I got with Leighton and I went with Fallon. But then me and Fallon took that show out. And then we, and there's like the Navigant and the Tonight Show. And so then just you stay with Michael Cox, who books the Tonight Show. JP Buck, who booked Conan, was great. Great. Him and Michael Cox were great.

for Booker wise, they were just really, really good. They were really, they were great dealing with them were great. They just knew, you know, I mean, it's a whole thing when you first get in there, it's like, you know, it's hard. They're taking a comic. Usually it's your first time going to be on TV. And so you got to, they got to make sure that you're their jobs on the line to make sure they're getting the right person and,

And so JP at Conan was always really, really great. And then Michael Cox, who's at Tonight Show, I mean, he's been, Tonight Show had a few different ones. I mean, I was going, when I was doing the Tonight Show, that was the thing. I used to be everybody's first, when they hired a new person, I ended up being a lot of people's first person. So that's why I did it. I had to run because they were switched. They were trying to find the right booker, which they have Michael Cox now, who's,

the right booker and he's great. But then they, and not saying the others were bad. It was like, whatever they fit. I think someone, someone of them was at Cordon maybe now, but whatever reason they, you know, just switches around. But I was a lot of people's first. Cause it was like, not saying anything about me, but it was like, I've done the show. I was a clean comment. It was like, I was a very safe to be like, yeah, just to get my,

whet my whistle. I'll just book Nate, you know. So when you walked out, what about it seems so different than you would have imagined, if anything? When I first did it? Yeah. Or even now, if it was our first time, what would it be like? I guess, yeah, it would be everything smaller than you probably think.

I mean, almost weirdly, I'm kind of used to that now. So I don't really think about that now. But I would say the fact that it's a room off to the side. Everything's a little bit smaller than you probably think it is going to be. And that's like anything that you would go see on TV. I would... It's...

I don't know, seeing people back, seeing the famous people walk around backstage is kind of crazy. Like whoever you're on with, you're like, Joey Louis-Stripes was my first Conan I did. She was a guest on it. And, uh,

And she was a guest on another one too. Yeah, I remember that. And so I never met her. But you just see her walking. I remember seeing Val Kilmer. Val was like very funny. He tweeted you, right? Yeah. He ended up like tweeting me and like, yeah, I remember Val. Val would just walk like through and you're like, I mean, he could just pop in your room and –

I think he went to Julie Lou Stryfus and said he was getting married or something. And he just goes in her room and goes, uh, you're coming to my wedding. And she's like, Oh, okay. Yeah.

And then he walked away and that was it. I don't know if it was even, it was just like, he just, you know, he was like his own dude. Yeah. And then that's where he tweeted something about me. And then I responded and then he didn't realize it was me. And then he did. And then, I mean, he was like, but he was like a cool dude. Like, and I didn't really, you know what? I don't even know. Like I really talked to him there. Yeah. It was only afterwards, like kind of in social media.

Because it's like you're not just walking up to people. I remember seeing the guy from Godfather. What's the old man? Marlon Brando? No. Oh, James Caan? No. I think it's Godfather. He was on Conan a ton towards the end. Real skinny. He was old. I want to say his name starts with an A. Godfather. Something. Al Pacino? No. It's not like that. I don't know. Okay. Think of it.

I think his name starts with an A. I think he's in Godfather. I thought that's where he was from. I don't know. Like real skinny. Is there a guy that used to be on Conan from the Godfather? Look up like that. Steve Buscemi? No. Do they always come to your dressing room before the show? Abe Vigoda? Abe Vigoda. There you go. He was the Godfather. Abe Vigoda. So I remember seeing him a few times because he would be on there a lot. Like he'd come on for whatever. Fallon does. Fallon always did.

conan i don't think did i don't think i ever talked to conan i think he would for he ended up knowing some people when he was friends i don't think i really ever talked to conan maybe afterwards and you stand there and say what's up and blah blah whatever and then he'll then he kind of goes back uh you know it's a job i mean like you you see it where you're like yeah these dudes are doing it every night like they get done with the show and like

Even like us, I mean, as a comic, when it's your first time, you're like, yeah, it's like, you're like, I want to stay here forever. And then, but everybody else is like, yeah, dude, I'll come and I could go do this for like five minutes and then I'll be back. Like, you know, they just kind of come in, come out and then they leave. I guess the more, the bigger the star they get. So I think they would go, I think they probably go to those like,

But Conan and them, they would stay. And Fallon stays. That's always a big deal. That's a big deal for comics. The hosts that stay. What do you mean stay? After the show? No, stay and watch the set. Oh, right. Like Colbert started doing some where you get on Colbert, but at the end of Colbert, they would just say, when the show was over, they would just have the audience stay and they'd tape five comics.

And they do five sets. And Colbert doesn't even – he doesn't stay. And so then they're just like, we'll put it in whenever we need to put it in. So you wouldn't even know when you're going to be on. And then they would be like, all right, you're going to be on tomorrow. Which you're getting the point of being on, but there was something about the old school way is that's the point is the guy's got to be there. Like that was the whole – that's everything. That's the coolest part of a Tonight Show set now is when it pans out and you can see –

The silhouette of Jimmy Fallon laughing. That takes everything away. It feels businessy. I mean, not that you're not going to do it, but the point of it is you want to make the guy laugh. That's the host. You make the host laugh. If he's laughing, the audience, it just made it great, and that's what...

But they do good with – Tonight Show is like you see – Fallon sits there. And when I just did this one where I did the panel, it's like we stayed for Gail, the singer. And so I got to sit there. And you sit there and you're listening to music and you're – it's like you're kind of in the dark, but you're watching and you're – it's like that's the – Yeah, it's cool. That's everything, dude. Like that's – I know some shows don't do that. And I never dealt with that though. I always had the host there.

I remember maybe the first time you ever went over to the couch after your set when he says goodnight, Fallon. And I said to you, I think you need to smile more because it made you look worried. Yeah. And you told me you did it next time. You said you thought about that. Yeah. I've done it from here on. Yeah. See, I take criticism. There's a clip from a recent – what is this?

This shows how far you've come. Yeah. So this was on, I got this large show into me. I think someone sent me this too. It was, uh, so Jamie Lynn Spears did an interview, uh, on, um,

I bet no one thought I was about to say that. It's like you got to wrap your head around like, what? So Jamie Lynn Spears, she just did that interview, I guess, about Britney Spears. I don't know anything about that. I don't know that. But whatever it was, she did some interview, I guess. I don't know the whole Britney and Jamie Lynn thing. Okay. So this guy's talking about...

Jamie Lynn Spears on Britney Spears reaction interview. What is her body language reveal? And this is a, these guys, I guess, study body language.

There's, going back to the sitting, there's a comedian named Nate Bargatze. He's from Nashville. And when he sits, that's the most comfortable and confident looking guy sitting I've ever seen in my whole life. When he sits down on a talk show or on a podcast or whatever, I'll put up a picture of him. If you check that out, this is the most relaxed guy, the most confident looking guy in the world. And he's a comedian. This guy is the most confident sitter I've ever seen in my whole life.

That's pretty good. Coming a long way. Coming a long way. Go show, like, I don't know if we can even, the Jamie Lynn, like, see? Look at her. She's miserable. I need to talk to her. You can counsel her. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, she's not as competent of a sitter as you are, man. Yeah. That's a very funny... I mean, look, that's awesome. That's such a funny compliment. He's the most competent sitter I've ever seen in my whole career. See, I'm the greatest average American. And this guy... There's everything I do that's the very average. I'm just... I'm on another level, dude. Like, I'm on...

I order McDonald's better. I don't go to a nice restaurant. I go to the average American places, but I crush it when I go there. Does he run? No, he sits better than anybody. Yeah. Does he jog? He goes, it's a jog that looks like a run.

That's how, like, I don't ever get exercise. I'm like, I'm skinny enough, but I'm still fat. I'm not, you know, like I'm in the middle of everything, but I'm nailing it. No, they, yeah, it was very nice. That's, you know, it is nice to know when you go on these things, it's not like you sit there and try. I intentionally do try to think, let me look comfortable. Let me, yeah.

Let me be aware. You do over time get better of you're in front of people a lot. So you're not as, I'm trying to make the experience of me even being here on this show. It needs to be the same as when, if I saw you and we were, when it had lunch together. Yeah. Like I want to see how close I can make these two things. And if I can make the closer those can get, I think it's the easier for you to be ready.

funnier and be and do what you do longer because the least amount you're trying and having to force it like if you're a big character if you're this like that's exhausting so if I can get the audience and get you into and this is what I think but the closer I can make my me and stage presence be the same yeah

And you're not always going to be like that. Like, I mean, you know, if you look at the material, I'm not, I'm not going to just be up there talking about nothing. So the materials I'm, there's actually jokes or you're, you know, it's like, I'm this frustrated all the time. But as far as like my energy that I give off and everything, how close can you get those closer? I can make those the better. Cause then that, then I'm doing it all the time. So now I'm practicing it 24 hours a day. So why would you not want that? You know, why would you not want to sit there and

And so I, it is fun to hear that. Cause it's, you know, it's like, I'm, I sit with my legs crossed a lot. It's just, there's only really, I don't really know how else to sit. You always fit at that. I was, this jacket super made me confident too. It's a kind of a thicker jacket that kind of like, it's not tight on me. Yeah. And so like, I feel I can sit more comfortable because I'm, I don't feel like I'm,

You know, like you're just not in some... Yeah, I'm wearing something. You're like, you sit there and like... Because a lot of times when you go sit down on the chair, like you can see people. The hardest part, I would say...

is I always think, like, you got to be comfortable. Like, we're doing, right, so the Grammys. Like, so we go, I do the Grammys. We had to get, you got to get a tuxedo. So we got fitted for tuxedo. And, like, these shoes I got, you're kind of like, well, they're not the most comfortable shoes. And, like, I don't know. And it's like, the stylist is like, yeah, that's what it is.

it's not comfortable. And I'm like, but I mean, in my head, I'm like, well, I think you could get comfortable. Like you could still do something. And I mean, the shoes are not that they're not comfortable, but they're not tennis shoes. Obviously they're, they're like shoes, like tuxedo shoes, like our boots or,

But it's interesting. I always think, well, you got to. There's some meeting in the middle where you could go. Then I think it helps you think outside the box. And you think, well, what if I just wear. Someone could be like, well, he wears it. I'm not doing this, but if you wore Air Maxes. You could just get. I think you get more comfortable and you get more confident. I guess it's maybe the less you feel like you have to prove. Like you feel comfortable in where you're at.

You don't feel, you know, I don't know. No. That was a very easy show to do, Ridiculousness 2. Oh, is that what that picture's from? Yeah, yeah. That's when it did, like, they just do a good job. You know, it's like, but it's, you are somewhat aware of it, but you try to be like, I don't know. You're like, as long as I'm doing me and I don't feel like I have to, I noticed, like, doing some, uh,

I've done a few like the animated stuff where you're doing the voice. And it's like, if you're trying to create another voice that's not your voice, and then it's like, well, you go do this, and then I got to go do it again in three months. And then it's like, well, I don't remember the voice I did. So it's like, to me, it's like, I'm like, that's how I always did everything. If I acted, if I did anything, I was like, you're getting this.

If you either want this or you don't. Maybe I could be serious. Maybe I could be funny. Maybe I could go off that, but I can't not do this. But I mean, someone that's a character person, I guess, is completely different. But I don't know how to get in that mindset. You could do voices. Kind of. Not of specific people, but just different kinds of voices. You can fluctuate. Yeah, I don't think it's bad. I mean, my voices on stage are all the same. It's my voice.

My wife is my voice. Me is my voice. Like every person I enter, any interaction I talk about on stage is my voice. Wow, that just came out, that video. It's already got 91,000 views. Yeah. A lot of people know I'm a confident sitter. Came out two days ago. Yeah. What about daytime? Do you watch daytime? No. Do you? Today show? We don't get up and talk for that. None of the network stuff. Sports center. I think I like that it's on.

I could see it being a great thing. But your mom does, right? I don't know. I mean, it's, I guess. Maybe she watches something. I don't think she watches it. I don't remember talking about it. Like, I don't, it's not like we just know, like, she watches the Today Show. I don't think so. I thought, well, maybe growing up or something. I don't know. Oh, like you would be on? Yeah. I think it was a zoo every morning. It was just chaos. In the house? Yeah. We're just not a...

We're not getting, you know, you guys, you had roosters waking you up. We watched the Ralph Emery show. Yeah. Y'all get them as a family and have a family breakfast every morning. We are never getting up in time to it not be just complete chaos. Yeah. And so we would, there was no like,

quietness and then there was no it was like you're up we're all up we're it's we're moving yeah and it's like everybody's gonna get out of the house now right that was like we never had morning anything it was you're lucky we got to the place that we were you know we were there we had 6 a.m family prayer every morning yeah my mom would yell from the foot of the steps wake up and we'd all come down

Yeah, that's good, though. Sit in a circle in the living room every morning. And then go back to bed? He'd wed. You want to go back to bed, but you got to get ready for school after that. Yeah, that's good. Ours would just be my sister. I mean, Abigail, she's nine years, ten years younger, nine and a half. And she would be, her, she would have tangles. I just remember that. They would fight about combing her hair so much.

I was like, when we had a daughter, I was like, oh, gosh, this is going to be a train wreck. It's a nightmare. It hurts. It turns out it's just Abigail. Just a her problem? Yeah, just an Abigail problem. So, yeah, Harper does good. I mean, I pictured when we were like, you're having a girl. I was like, I just thought it's going to be blowouts because that's what it was.

And then now it's not. We have one, you know. It's not, you know, we have one kid versus three trying to get ready. But I remember them fighting over that. But the tangles, I mean, that was only her, right? That was Abigail. Yeah. But she would just always have tangles in her hair. And like, he would just get them out. I got to get them out. God damn it. I mean, it is just, if you could be at our house, I mean, people wouldn't even know how to.

I mean, I think a lot of families are like that. Like, you know, but it's, you know, it's funny when you go see another, like Laura's family is like a little more, it's a, it's called like Laura didn't, she doesn't have that where it's like, you know, it's the Bargett's. Yeah. We're the Bargett's. Like we, you just know about us. Like, you know, if you spend the night, you're like, Hey, it's going to be the Bargett's. It's going to get wild. Everybody in my family's wild. We're going to get, nothing's going to go wrong.

As planned. Yeah. And we're going to, but we'll be there. We'll have a good time. We'll have a good time. It's a little bit like Curb Your Enthusiasm. There's just, there's going to be some like, and then two minutes later, it's just like moved on to something else. Oh, we're fine. Yeah. Everybody's in the car and you're fine. And yeah, you move on, but it's, yeah, it's just complete. It's like a New York City every morning, just in a house until you get out of the house. Hmm.

I was reading about, as a fan, the best way to get on TV. Okay. Since I'm not going to go the comedy route. You're doing pretty good. Morning talk shows in New York City is the easiest way to get on. Okay. Because they have the crowds outside. And I've been to New York before when Katie Couric and-

Those guys were down there. If you get there early enough and stay in, you can get on television. Yeah. And have a sign or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Laura and them tried to do it one time after New Year's. Laura and her friend, I think Katie or something. And they came home. We did shows at Caroline's. So we did the New Year's, the ball drop, saw it drop. We get home. It's 3 in the morning. And Laura and her friend is there and they're like, we'll go see the Today Show. And so I was like, just go do it. I mean –

you're it's four in the morning just stay up you never go do something like this go do it they get signs they do all the stuff they go back down there not taping the show so they just stood there nothing no one's there how long did they say new year's day i wouldn't think they'd be doing yeah well they weren't uh so they got they got all the way down and it's a whole thing getting back into the sea you know it's not it's not like you're like i just ran outside like you've seen an eclipse or something it's just it's a it's a journey and then just nothing

You've never been to one, right? So you remember what's the ticket process? No. For one of these shows? Yeah. I have no idea how it works. There's a website, one out of...

that I think list all of the shows on one website. You can go there and try to get on. Some are easier. Fallon's one of the hardest ones. John Oliver's very hard. Some of the other ones are easier. And then Fallon will do a thing where he'll send an intern to a certain part of New York City, and you gotta go find that intern. Yeah. If you do it, you get tickets. Nick Thune. Is that who's on tonight? Yeah. Looks like it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, where they're...

It's hard to get tickets when Fallon took over Tonight Show. And I mean, it's still probably one of the hardest. But when he took it over, it was impossible. I mean, I remember if I had a guest, it was like you couldn't really bring someone. I think I remember stories of Oprah during her heyday.

of like Brad Pitt like couldn't get his mom on. I don't know if that was true. I don't know. I have no idea. I feel like I heard something like this. But it was like something like when Oprah would be giving stuff away or like, or not even probably giving stuff away, but like just going to her show and a taping. And it was something like even Brad Pitt was like, well, can my mom? And they're like, no, it's too, like it was Oprah probably had to be the biggest. Yeah.

I would imagine. Yeah. Like, Laura watched Oprah every, you know, she watched Oprah every day. She watches these Dr. Phil. So her biggest, she was way bigger than, like, what Ellen is? Yeah, I think so. I mean, Ellen's very big, and Ellen was, you know. But it's just the TV was different then when Oprah was on. I mean, Oprah's, you know, Oprah's Oprah. It's, like, just its own thing.

It's its own kind of thing. Its own world. Yeah. But got her started in Channel 5. Yep. Look at that. That's right. Right after TSU? Yep. She was 19. Wow. She got hired. You were there? No, but my Chris Clark, who I worked with, was the one that hired her. Yeah? Yeah. And when she had her 50th birthday party on the set and brought in all these celebrities, she flew him in. Oh, that's cool. That's really cool. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's great. But yeah, she was big as it is. I mean, one of the richest people in the world. Yeah. Yeah. They, would they do like, they do a sign of like people of success from channel five that left like they have Oprah and they may, you may be right under. There was a guy who was on Desperate, was

Was it Desperate Housewives? Yeah. Is that Terry Hatcher? Yeah, that's that show. There was a guy on that show who used to be in our sales department at Channel 5. Really? Was he a major actor in the show? I think he was one of the regulars. Man, they get all y'all back together. You know? The panel, the three of us. The panel, the three of us. I mean, do you remember the guy's name? I would know it if I saw it, I think. Dave Williams? Orson Hodge? James Denton. They would do... Right there at the top.

Where? James Denton. Mike Delfino is his character name, but James Denton is his real name. Oh, this guy worked with you? I didn't work with him, but he used to be in the sales department at Channel 5. So, uh, no shirt on. This dude. Just with you right next to him. Yeah. Me, him, and Oprah. The big three. He goes, I'm trying to be an actor. I'm trying to be a comedian. Uh, he goes, all right. Uh,

So that would be you, him, and Oprah. I would like just to worry the questions. They all got to go to Oprah. They come to you, you go, oh, Brian Bates, have you ever met Oprah? They just ask you about Oprah still. They wouldn't even know what to ask. Not yet, right? No, it's not right. Now is my first time. That's cool. That's cool. Yeah, that would be...

But I would say Oprah's, you know, her giving away stuff was... The car giveaway is one of the biggest moments in TV history as far as talk show history. Everybody got a car? Yeah. So this was in 2004.

She's kicking off her season. And I guess they quizzed the audience and asked them about who they, all these people needed a car. Oh yeah. And they thought they were drawing just one underneath the seat. Yeah. Um, but then when they started reaching, everyone had a box containing keys, 276 vehicles donated by Pontiac. Wow. All the owners ended up paying several thousand dollars in income tax. Uh, but that's where the, you get a car, you get a car thing.

Yeah. Happen. Yeah, I mean, that's kind of like... I wonder how many get to keep the car versus... Yeah. That's the people bringing it back, but yeah. Anyway. Yeah, I mean... I guess that's them breaking out the box before they open it. Oh, wow. And then everybody gets one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's...

This is the craziest thing anybody's done on TV. I mean, just to give out this many cars. Yeah. I thought Ellen did good with doing some still like this spirit of giving stuff away. Yeah. I think she did good without like blatantly like, cause it's like, how do you, you get a helicopter, you get a helicopter. Yeah. It's like, it was almost like you couldn't top that. And then, so it's like Ellen did a good job of like, I was like, this is only number four of,

best oprah show moments like i don't know what do you say that at the tops is number four oprah relives the famous car giveaway like how is it not number one well i think this is top 25 tv guides top of anything not just oh it's set oh uh it said on the thing oprah uh top the things tv got top best oprah show yeah you're right

I can't name another Oprah show. I can tell you one that I have on here. Tom Cruise. There you go. Jumping off the couch. So that's maybe. But I don't know what the other two are. Yeah. But Tom Cruise is on there. This is number four. I rewatched the Tom Cruise. Would it say number three, two, and one? I mean, can you find it? Yeah, I'll look it up. Yeah. All right. The Tom Cruise thing. I mean, he does act crazy, but-

She defended him. Yeah. She said, in the spirit of the show, the way that the audience was asking, the way she was presenting the questions, he was just playing along into it. Yeah. She kind of defended him as far as just how crazy he acted. Because that's just what made it, the tone change on him of like being...

I think it was about that time when he was saying some other stuff. And they're like, yo, this dude's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. And then, of course, he and Katie Holmes split up not too long after that. And I don't know how long it was, but they did split up. That's what he was jumping up and down about was talking about Katie Holmes. Yeah. Number two was the Tom Cruise moment. Number one is a flash mob, which I don't even know what this is. Oh. What's number three? I almost think I know the flash mob. And this might be the first flash mob thing that ever happened.

Uh, yeah. Yeah. And, and 2019 producers pulled off an over the top surprise for Opa with the help, help of tens of thousands of fans and a black eyed peas. So they surprised her. Yes. Okay. Yeah.

Still the car thing's pretty. Yeah. Yeah. We'll put the car thing above this. I think people have thought about that a lot more than this. But I do, I remember this. This was towards the end. Like, and then, yeah. A couple more, well, more than a couple. Larry King, he and Marlon Brando. Marlon Brando rarely ever did interviews. And then he did a sit down with him, I think at his house, and they sang together and kissed at the end. Yeah. It was very, very weird. It's at the very end of this clip. But it's just so bizarre. Yeah.

Yeah. It's already... It's bizarre from the jump, dude. You know, sometimes you got to sit... When television was four by three, you had to sit a lot closer. So it just looks super awkward to begin with. But he's only... Marlon Brando never did interviews. No, I think it was the first one in a while. I don't know. It's very odd. And then the other...

It's bizarre. The other Larry King one I have, which you've probably seen, is the one with Seinfeld. Yeah. Where Seinfeld gets very upset about his question. I watched it again last night. It's just very funny. Yeah. Who told? Yeah. Yeah. You think he's actually upset about that? I think so. I think he's annoyed. I could see. So. It's down. Yeah. This is a very small scale of this. I don't want to always act like I have some. I always try to put myself in the position of whatever they're in.

And I could see like, you know, he's doing for him the biggest show on the planet and doing Larry King, the biggest talk show interview on the planet. And it's like, this is what you like. You're supposed to be different, dude. You just asked me everything that everybody else asked me.

Like, and you're like, so I thought this was supposed to be special and it's just not. Well, the question he asked wasn't like everyone else because he seemed clueless. You want to play the audio real quick? Oh, yeah. Lasted how long? Nine years. 180 episodes. You gave it up, right? I did. They didn't cancel you. You canceled them.

You're not aware of this? No, I'm asking you. You think I got cancelled? Are you under the impression that I got cancelled? Have I hurt you, Jerry? I thought that was pretty well documented. Don't most shows go down? Is this still CNN? Don't most shows go down a little? Most people do also. You will. But...

Yeah, no, I went off the air. I was the number one show on television, Larry. Do you know who I am? Jewish guy, Brooklyn. Yes. Okay. 75 million viewers. Last episode. Boy, don't take it so bad. Well, that's a big difference between being canceled and being number one. Okay, I'm sorry. We'll be right back. Jeez.

Can we get a resume in here for me? The movie opens tomorrow. We'll be right back. Yeah. Well, that's not knowing. That's insane. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty funny. It's just very amateurish. It comes off like, I don't care. And it's like, that would be... And when you do, sometimes you can call... And again, this is not...

But if I like you do like a morning radio show and you call and you have to call in to promote shows like I would. And I'm not saying the person has to know, but they're just being like, so what do you do? And you're like, I'm a stand up comedy. What are people? What kind of jokes? Like you like there's no effort in to be like, well, just have a conversation with me at least. Like, you know, I know you don't have to know me, but like at least like act like.

You know, you, I'm on this show. Like, I don't, you know, it's like, I know, like, I'm not saying that you need me on this show, but at least. Yeah, I mean, from my TV days, that annoys me because do some basic research. The producer should at least give you who this person is so you don't have to ask that dumb question. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, I've been asked. Yeah, I mean, I've been asked where they just have no, like, you're basically going on your commercial. And you go, I'm a stand-up comedian. I talk about my family and a lot of stuff like that. And I've been doing shows. Like, you're just that. And that's the whole reason. And then that's all you're kind of saying. You're like, well, that takes everything. That's not even, why would he even come because of that? So you're like, at least, like, be fun. And I think that's the magnified version.

It's everything. People don't care. It's Larry King probably in his prime of doesn't like, who am I interviewing? Like it's, you know, in a weird way, like he'll be fine. Like almost like, hey, should we prepare you with some stuff? And he's like, I'm Larry King. I'm Larry King, dude. I got it. Yeah. And then you insulting to be like, he's,

You know, maybe when he's in his prime, he's not watching, you know, in a way you could see it like now, like someone like, like I don't watch Yellowstone. Right. So if someone comes and talks to me about Yellowstone, I'll be like, I don't, you know, it's like, yeah, is it like a big show? And you're like, and if someone that does is like, are you crazy? Like it's the biggest show, like it's the, but you could be like, oh, it's not in my world, but that's all. But as an interviewer,

You can't, it's not about your world. Yes. It's about you asking that person, you have to be in that person's world. Yeah. So like you're being like, well, this is what people like. How we get viewers is...

And it's like you said, the guy said to you one time, I'm sorry, I'm an idiot. Yeah. Put it on yourself if you don't know the person. Don't make them feel bad. Yeah. Tony Korn has just said that. It's not like he goes, I feel like I'm a – he's like, I'm like an idiot out of the loop. I can't believe I didn't know who this guy was. But throws it on like he's doing so great and I'm – Yeah.

It's like, at least it's a nice way. And being like, yeah, why should he know who I am? But it's a very polite way. People, politeness is like kind of gone. Our politeness can be gone. And it's like, it's just a polite way of just saying like, yeah, just blame you. Like, it's like, it's just nice to say that. Like, so you don't just go like, I don't know who...

this person is or like there's going to be people you don't know. I don't watch TV like I used to because I can't. I don't have I'm never around it. I'm not I don't have enough time. And so but it's like I'm not going to be

act like it's like no one's watching yellowstone or no one's watching soprano you know but i don't what is that show like who watches that i mean there's a lot of shows i have like shawshank that's me being ridiculous my parents even think that's ridiculous i haven't seen it so that's me being stupid that i haven't seen it that's not like it's like i don't know if shawshank's that great i never saw it you're like that's well you're the problem right and that would be comes off with that you know with larry king there you're like you're the you know

Yeah. I'd be interested if he thought that was a mistake on his behalf. Who, Larry King? Yeah. He should, yeah. I would almost like if he ever was like, that's my most embarrassing, you know, to be like, I just took it too casual. Yeah. I did an interview. I remember one time like hiring someone and they were about being a lawyer. Like you have to get a lawyer. And so I went and you talked to like three lawyers trying to see which one you're going to pick.

and they're all great. But there was one that was like, it wasn't like I was even, no one knew me. Like, you know, I was like starting to come up. But I remember when we interviewed him, it was too like casual and formal.

And it was like, this is not, and I mean, I think he even got, maybe he got, I don't know if you could hear this. Too casual and informal? Yeah, the interview was like a little too like, and I think that was like an angle of, because we knew a lot of people, like it's like knew a lot of comics, but I remember just being like,

I remember one thing to fill some professional, like you're not saying he's not professional. He's extremely professional, but I wanted to be like, you know, it was like kind of a big, like it was crazy that I'm even getting to talk to a lawyer. I was like, I can't believe I'm even getting a lot like this is show business. Like this is a big moment in your own career, right?

Just to be like, can you imagine? When someone's like, my lawyer did it, you're like, I don't even know what that means. How do you get a lawyer? How would you even have a lawyer? So if you get to the point of getting to hire a lawyer, you want to feel special. And you want to feel like when you go talk to agents and managers for the first time, you don't want them to overdo it. Everybody knows that entourage scene where they're all like,

It's them showing you McDonald's. You want a balance of that where you're either – you got to just read the room. It really takes a chance. But at the time when it's first – this was my first kind of like I haven't seen anything. You want to go – when I met with – when I switched agents and when I did that, there's a show that gets put and they sit there and you want that feeling. And so I remember – yeah, I don't know what the whole point of this is.

Well, the point is you've been – so for the longest time before that, you've been – your whole life has been trying to sell yourself to people. Yes. And then it comes around and people are trying to sell themselves to you. Yes. And you're like, oh, this is fun. It's crazy. Let me just sit back. Yeah. Y'all are trying to impress me. And then this dude rolls up sweatpants. He's like, what's up, dude? Are you looking for a lawyer? You're like, well, not really. And it might be you want him to be like that when –

It's time to be like that. Off the clock. Yeah. Or it's like, I want to be able to be that comfortable to call you whenever I want to call you and I don't feel... But I also want to be able to see the... I want to see the professionalism and the...

Yeah. I mean, that's the thing. Yeah. In comedy, you want a manager, you want an agent, you want all these things because you're like, I'm supposed to have these things. I would say you got to want to want them. And then you realize you usually probably don't need a manager as quick as you think you do. But it's good to want one and good to try to get one. And then you also got to do it because you need to see what you...

you know what you want and what you, you know, when it doesn't work, you need to know why it doesn't work. And you need to know like, all right, I didn't gel with this or I didn't fit in with that. Or I didn't, you know, it's like a lot of it could be just like, you look at like the comedian's path you want. And some of it's a bit of that where you're going like,

I fit in. I'm with all basically Gaffigan's people. Well, I fit in with Gaffigan. We're kind of along the, you know, so it's like, it makes sense for me to be with that kind of world. Like that's the world that I'll probably be like, you know, that you kind of deal with versus if you're Segura and Burr and they might have the same person. Cause that's, they might fit in that kind of way. You kind of just go like, all right, I'm, I feel like I'm this kind of person. So I'll go with a person that gets, you know,

Not saying you have to follow them exactly, but you could find your own. I mean, I had – I don't know. Yeah. When people who try to be funny on talk shows – can you pull up that Tyra Banks clip? Oh, yeah. Tyra Banks comes on her show and tells the audience, comes out and says, I got bit today by a rabid dog. Yeah. And I'm not myself today. Then sits down for a real interview with a person after telling the audience. And they're all excited to be there. You can go ahead and play it.

She just sit down with this person about to interview him. So she's coughing foam out of her mouth. Yeah. This woman's disturbed. Yeah. Oh, that's the audience. It's bombing so bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That makes it so uncomfortable to watch, dude. Yeah. All right. Well, that's when non-comedians try to do something like that. That's what happened. Yeah. I've met her. Uh, thanks. Very awesome. Where? Uh,

Chris Rock, opening for Chris Rock. She came to the show. She came by? We all went out to eat afterwards. And she was awesome. Like, it was like, she was like real down to earth. Like, really. She was like, y'all did great. Like, just hung out. Like, just chilled out. Like, you know. And then I remember we took a car to go get, we took a car to, from the Seattle to go eat. And then we were actually going to a plane and flying. Maybe we were in Vancouver or Seattle. I don't remember.

But we took a... We were flying. I got to fly private with him, like, somewhere. But we go and... Maybe we were in Vancouver. I don't know. But we go eat at a place. And I remember we had paparazzi chase us. Really? Yeah. And it was, like, crazy chasing us. Like, really...

like, I mean... In cars? In cars. Yeah. And so we were driving to go try to eat somewhere and because Tara and Tyra Banks and Chris Rock were... They were, I mean, just flooring it, driving around. I mean, it looked like a police chase and you would see them behind you and you're like, is it? You're like, is that... And then...

Chris Rock's like, shooty dude got out and was like, hey, go. They parked behind us, whatever. We went in to eat. Everybody was nice. They kept the restaurant open. They were super cool. They took pictures with everybody. It was like a great thing. And then we drove to the airport, and a guy then followed us again to the airport, to his plane. And so he drives, because you're private, you can just drive right to the plane. So they drive us to the plane, and the guy parks, gets out of the car, and runs onto the tarmac.

And then someone stopped him and was like, you can't be out here. It was crazy. Wow. And he was trying to take pictures and stuff. Yeah, it's the only time I've ever really seen like... Where was that? In Vancouver? I want to say, or Seattle. It was like we were maybe going one versus the other. But Tyra Banks wasn't on the plane, but she just went to eat with us. But damn fawness. Because I remember you were just like... That aggressively. Yeah, it was crazy. It was like, man, am I crazy? Or is this car...

There's a car that's really trying to like stay behind us. And that's kind of, you know, and it's like, yeah, I think it's a dude like trying to get these pictures and.

Man. There's no video of this. So I defend her. I'm sorry, Tyra. I didn't know all this when I showed that. I can see you think something's good. You're like, ah, we tried. And then it's, you know. It's tough about an act out like that. Like you can't bail out of it. You just got to keep going. Like she knows it's kind of bombing right when she starts. Got to finish this, dude. Well, to go bark and, you know, it's like, yeah, I mean, it's crazy. All right.

A guy died on set on the Dick Cavett show. This never got released, but he was a septuagenarian. What is that? Is that 80? Fear of long words. Septuagenarians. 70 or 80. I think it's 70. Oh, okay. What? Caught himself like an old person. What do they call? Septuagenarian? Somebody who's 70 to 90.

This says 70 to 79. 70, wow. There was a name for these people? Wow, 70 to 79. Somebody in their 70s, yeah. What is, whoever says that? Aaron does all the time. Who, I've never even heard, why would you not just say I'm in my 70s? Or what are the 50s called? I can call myself that. Yeah, you're a Quinn Quaginarian, dude. Quinn, that's insane. That's somebody in their 50s. Who does that?

Who would do this? Do we have 40s or does it not go like? I think 40s, they're like, get over yourself. Oh, 30-year-old is a tricenarian. I'm a quadriganarian. Quadriplegic. This is ridiculous. Who just goes, they're in their 70s. That's what you say.

Have you ever heard this? I've heard it in articles. I've never heard anyone call themselves that. Have you ever heard of octogenarian for somebody in their 80s? No, never even. Maybe we're reading different things. But is it like you're talking about a broad, like being like typical people that are like, we assume this person was

I've never, why would you not say the 80s? I mean, it's not using super casual conversations, but like, I don't know, a news piece or something. And they're referring to. But like, when do you go learn this word in school? Like when, what day do you just figure it out over time? I think just somebody uses it around you and you go, oh, what is that? And they say it. And then, yeah. And then you want to use it. Okay. It feels good to use a word that somebody else has to look up.

So, okay. All right. So it's not like they go, hey, today's the day we're going to, you know, we just describe old people. And I'm like, I missed all these words. No, I don't think it's like that. And I just don't think I ever talked to people. I was never in a business relationship.

But I guarantee you, this week, you'll find an opportunity to use this word. I won't use it because I will. I know you won't because you don't want to. You're not that kind of guy. I'm not the guy that makes someone feel bad. Right. And so I would think you, using that word, you like to look down on people. So any moment that you could be like... Down is where some people are, Nate. Down is where some people are. So...

So it would be, yeah, this would be a perfect. So like, I always think, I think you would know that I'm trying to use, like, that's why I would never use those words. Cause I would always be like, well, I feel like, you know, I'm like trying to use this word and I'm at your act. I'm acting like I know it and I didn't know it. I think it's like misleading. So even when someone would use that word, I would, I'd want to be like, you know, how do you even know what that word means? And then you'd be like, well, I've heard it. Even if I heard it 10 years ago, I'd be like, yeah, I didn't know what it was.

Until now. I feel like it's all misleading. And you're going to go, that's not the word neither of us want to use. I think somebody uses this word, no one wants to use that word. It's only being used out of that, out of trying to look down. There's no... Nobody is like...

If you go, instead of saying sexagenarian, do you mind if I just say they were in their 60s? And no one's going to be like, yeah. No one's going to be like, I actually prefer you say, we're trying to have a high-level conversation here. So could you actually say sexagenarian? No. They would be like, no, yeah, of course. Do you 60? I don't even know what the other one meant. That's what I think. Yeah. This is insane. I've never even. It's a whole new thing you didn't know about. Yeah. I mean, I'm in my quads and I have never heard this. Yeah.

I never. Well, anyway, this septuagenarian was on the Dick Cavett show. He called himself Mr. Organic, talked about his new, his health issues.

including urine-soaked asparagus. And he boldly said he was going to reach the age of 100. Then the next guest comes out, and while they're interviewing him, the first guy falls asleep, or at least it appears it does. Turns out later, they found out he was dead. He had died of a heart attack on the set. And they didn't show it? They didn't show it. And I saw an interview with Dick Cavett asking, why didn't you ever show it? He said,

It happened so close to airtime that they weren't even sure if the family had been notified yet. Wow. Yeah. Nowadays, obviously, somebody would find a clip of it, but this is 1971. Yeah. It's destroyed. You had some decency back then. I know. Different era. Yeah. Yeah. Then, now, it'd be out before it even... It would be running before the episode. Oh, yeah. People would be like...

DVR in the episode to go tune in tonight to watch Guy Die on air. The only thing I remember about that when I was a kid, now it's all the time. Yeah, Dick Cavett. I don't remember Dick Cavett, Phil Donahue. Yeah, I remember Phil Donahue. Well, Geraldo Rivera, there was a fight that broke out on Geraldo and he got his nose broken and that made news before it aired. So the day it aired, we set our VCR to record it. That was a big deal. That was when there was chaos happening

And it was like, oh, yeah. Big fight. Golly. Yeah. So this was when, yeah. Geraldo looks exactly the same now, by the way. Could he be the most famous mustache? Hitler, probably. Yeah.

But it's not in the same way. Groucho Marx? I agree. They're very different. They're very different personalities. Charlie Chaplin? So it's like, I think if you go, what's a famous mustache? You're not going to... It's like Tom Selleck. Tom Selleck. You said Sam Elliott? No, I said Charlie Chaplin and Groucho Marx. Oh, okay. Yeah, back in the day, man, they just aired stuff that was...

I mean, are like having stuff. You like needed that stuff. And now you're in a world where you're like, there's too much of that stuff. Yeah. You're seeing too, there's too many fights. There's too many. I mean, there's, what's the, isn't there a whole YouTube that's like. Worldstar? Yeah. Isn't that the whole, every video is a fight, right? Yeah, it's crazy. So you're like, there's a whole YouTube that's set aside. YouTube was like not even enough that they go, we need this.

Its own- Its own platform. Its own platform is just fight videos. And there's thousands and millions. Oh, yeah. A lot of stuff. Yeah. How insane is that? A lot of good stuff. You got to take it in moderation, though. You can't spend too much time on there. I've never been on there. You should go on there every now and then. I don't know. Just see what's going on. I get uncomfortable with it now. It's pretty not. It doesn't- You're not even- Your source of entertainment now is just-

watching someone's life, uh, low point of their life. And like, you're, and it's like, I don't, the fun of that is to be like, why should I watch? That is true. That's not, you're just like all your, you're rooting for the, this, we talked about it. You're just, you're rooting for the sadness. You think everybody's dumber than you because your only entertainment is this dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. So you only, cause you think, well, I'm not doing any of that. So imagine that's the whole world. And you're like, it's not the whole world. Reality shows are like that.

Yeah, it's the rarity that they even caught that on video. But now you have phones everywhere, so you're like, but it's not everybody. Right. It's not even remotely. And if you think it's everybody, well, then now you're part of the problem, the fact that you just think, well, I guess that's everybody, so I guess they're not me. And you're like, no, most people are you. Right. That's actually rare. Yeah. How many people could you walk up? How many people could you go find that have done a world star hip-hop video? Yeah.

I walk around the rest of your life, you probably might never run into someone that's been... So you got to think about that. But then everybody thinks, no, that's everybody. So they think in my neighborhood, 90% of my neighborhood is people fighting on WorldSafe. Instead of going, no, no, dude, like 0% of your neighborhood is fighting on WorldSafe. Maybe it depends on your neighborhood. Maybe you have a neighborhood that's more fighting. But you know what I mean? That's like everybody, treat everybody nice. Assume everybody you meet is a nice person because the odds of you meeting a serial killer are...

Now, when you do, it's very bad because then they do the serial killing thing. But the general aspect of it, not saying you go, the odds of you, and if everybody just interacted with every human being like that going, the odds of this person being crazy, the odds of me being smarter than this person are probably not high. You think you've ever shaken hands with a murderer? No.

I wonder sometimes, would you walk around someone that's like, they've killed someone, and how many people is it? But it can't be that many. There was a serial killer at Vol State that we talked about. Did we figure out if you were there at the same time? I don't know. You talking about the fast food killer? Yeah, it was in the late 90s. Is that when you were at Vol State? Yeah. You could have had a class with him. I could have had a class with him. And in his sentencing- I always felt like he was in another place. Yeah.

In this sentencing, this defense asked, he shouldn't be sentenced to the full extent because he has a broken brain. And they said, he's not mentally capable. And then the prosecution said, well, if that's true, how did he get straight A's at Vol State? That was their argument. I didn't even get straight A's at Vol State. I think I could. I think I have enough video that if I did something, they would be like,

I could probably be like, his brain's broken. Yeah. Like, I have enough that they could just go through this podcast and just be like, we could pull enough, like, horse divorce and they'd be like, come on.

Come on. And I mean, the judge would be like, I'm uncomfortable watching it. Like even, he's like just. The tear share. The tear share. He's like, I already watched the murder video. But now the judge is like, I can't. I can't. People are crying in the jury. The family's like, just let him, let him go. I don't even, I don't think he should be in jail. I don't even think he should be. I don't even know if he knows what's going on.

A couple more. In Phil Donahue's show in 1985, a bunch of people started fainting in the studio audience. One at a time, they started collapsing, and they thought something was going on. On purpose? Turns out later, they found out they faked it. There were a group of people that all faked it, and they were with an organization called Fight Against Idiotic Neurotic Television, called Faint. Oh. Oh. That's pretty smart. Yeah. And so they go on TV and faint. That's fun.

Yeah, they thought there was like a gas in the room or it was overheated or whatever. Yeah. A couple of recent ones. Dakota Johnson calling out Ellen on her show. This was just a couple of years ago for not coming to her birthday party. Do you know this? Oh, yeah. No. Ellen says, why didn't I get invited? And she's like, actually, you were. And she won't let it go. And finally holds Ellen and Ellen has to ask the producers like, oh, I was out of town. Yeah. Yeah.

We don't have to watch it, but I mean, it's... Yeah, I don't think there's no way we could watch it. And then the Cash Me Outside girl? Yeah. That was just a couple years ago with Dr. Phil. That girl got famous. Yeah, she became a rap star.

She earned a 2018 Billboard Music Award nomination for top female rap artist, along with Cardi B and Nicki Minaj. Oh, yeah. Bad Bunny. That's her name? Bad Bunny. Is she, like, good? She has... Whoever's producing her stuff is... She got, like, legit people behind her. Yeah. So it all sounds super legit. That's the thing. Like, nowadays, it's like, that's the...

That's the part that gets hard with like entertain is like you just like you're like just give me a little like these people behind the scenes are so good that they're like just give me a little fame and I can if like if there's fame and like you like this person they can probably we can do whatever.

Do people like her? Or do people like... You know, if people are like, yeah, I don't mind this girl. Like, I don't know. There's something about her that you kind of like. Because I don't think that's something you can't... You got to have something. Yeah. It's got to be something that makes you want to like this person. But...

now they're just so good that they're like, yeah, it doesn't matter. Like we're like, you like her. Yeah. Everybody kind of likes her. You kind of, you kind of can't turn away from her. So you're like, all right. Yeah. Well, I mean, we can get everybody to do it. Yeah. You know, like, and you'd be like, you could do whatever you want to do. Trying to get a rap career started. I mean, probably could.

Better chance of comedy. And then he'd be on his own out there. Bad breakfast. Bad breakfast. Yeah. Shows are at from 7 to 9. A rap show. A rap show, 7 to 9 a.m.

Instead of like 3 a.m. or something to take the stage? Yeah. He's so, you're so like, yours is like, his is so late. They start at 7 a.m. And they go, and they just angle it like that way.

Do you think 3 a.m. is late? You ever done 7 a.m.? And you're like, actually, no, that is crazy. That's way later. He goes, yeah, dude, that's the latest you could do. And it's actually just working out because they're like, that's like, you know, he gets up at 5, gives him a couple hours to get his, you know, like your… CPAP off. CPAP off. He kind of gets out of bed and goes and does a show. But like, yeah, like, but they, if you sell it as going like…

You couldn't party till 7 a.m.? Maybe you're the weak one. Right. And then you're like, I saw him doing his morning walk. You know, like he goes –

He just saw him like, he's at Bonnaroo. Yeah, he makes a couple of laps around the... The weights in his hands. Yeah, he's got the weights in his hand around Bonnaroo. And I just see him in a track suit. The two and a half pounders? Yeah, and he just makes his little... He goes, is that the same, that's bad breakfast? I saw him at the mall. Yeah. The mall walking. I think my mom went to... My mom remembers him. He was a... You were already at high school. He's like, he was out of high school. My mom was...

I think she's Bad Baby, actually, not Bad Bunny. I'll get trashed for that. I apologize. Well, then I could be Bad Bunny. Yeah, you could be Bad Bunny. All right, I do have a couple where I keep... Wendy Williams, you'll love her. Dua Lipa, she couldn't say her name, so she was called her Dua Peep. Yeah. And she kept saying... Not trying to be funny, just can't say it to the point where now she's got like a...

People call her Dula Peep. Oh, they changed the person's name. Well, she didn't change it officially, but she goes with it now because Wendy Williams just couldn't say it. Jerry Lawler slapping Andy Kaufman on Letterman. Jim Everett on Jim Rome. Yeah, I was about to say that. Oh, yeah. I remember that one. Yeah, do you know this? I do know this, and I'm curious your thoughts on it.

As far as whether it's fake or not? No. I remember I was very young watching this clip. Can you explain what it is? Jim Everett and Jim Rome. He keeps calling him. Chris Everett, who's a female tennis player. Right. Basically saying you're soft because he's LA Rams quarterback. I guess Jim Rome's probably in LA. He tells him, you call me that one more time, you'll see what happens. He does. Then he knocks the table over, shoves him down. Yeah. That's the gist of it. It's good.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I remember seeing that as a young kid and being like, oh, he shouldn't have done that. And then my dad or my grandpa was like, no, he did. I mean, he had to. Don't call me Chris. Yeah. I mean, he was just being disrespected to his face like this over and over again. He tells them, don't do that. I think he called him that for years. Yeah. He finally came on their head enough. We got a long way to go.

And then it's, yeah, then you. It's good to be here with you, though. Well, it's good to see you. It's great. I used to listen to Jim Rome a bunch. Jim Rome was funny. Like, Jim Rome would always be. He would go on some rants, and, like, Jim Rome would be very, very funny. I was always a big, you know, yeah.

oh that's awesome started like oh welling on him love it uh but that's like somewhere you gotta yeah that's your fault like you wanted that like you called him that you're doing it on purpose he asked you to stop you're like i mean he should have hit you probably you should have he should have like if he would have been just really lay you out and then be like and then he could be like yeah yeah i'm not i have no worries i don't feel bad about it like yeah it's you know it's guys asking for it right

Yeah, I mean, just recently someone tweeted, what's one athlete do you most want to punch? And Jim Everett said, Jim Rohn. And he's like, oh, wait, you said athlete. So he's still not over it. It's still a thing between them. Yeah, he could be, unless he's being funny. He could be funny. Yeah, I could see...

Yeah. Yeah. Got a little mess here. All right. I know some worst talk shows. This is according to ratings, not my opinion. Pat Sajak show. I know Henry said that it was killing, but not according to my research. It didn't last very long. And the Pat Sajak show, he was, he was a weatherman in Nashville. Yeah. Channel four. He took Dan Miller, the longtime anchor channel four is his sidekick to LA with him. Yeah. And just didn't work out. Dan Miller came back to Nashville and went back to anchoring the news. Yeah.

for what station channel 4 wsmb okay i thought i thought this was another guy above you on the news channel 5 uh the chevy chase show yeah aired on fox i remember this it lasted for five weeks and then it was canceled yeah they're all trying to go up against carson especially when carson left and they just couldn't do it magic johnson had the magic hour yeah yeah how long that lasts

Not very long. His sidekick was Craig Shoemaker. Okay. Arsenio Hall, I think, did really good, right?

Arsenio did, yeah. Yeah, that was a good one. Arsenio was like a great one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How long was he on? I don't have a – He wasn't on – He was on a long time. Yeah. And then he made a comeback a few years ago, right? Yeah, yeah, but I don't think that went good. No. But the Arsenio Hall show was like a big show. Yeah, I mean, when Bill Clinton played the saxophone on there, I think that helped his presidential campaign. So the first wave of it was 89 through 94. Yeah. So it's not like it's crazy long. It was six seasons. Yeah. I would have thought longer. 19 years later, it was –

revamped for one season. Yeah. It's just not the same. Yeah. It's, it's, it's, you know, I think sometimes with all that stuff, like sometimes these things shows need to feel more off the cuff in a weird way. And like, so when like Bill Clinton playing saxophone, like, or something like that, it's like, it feels like very different. You've seen something different. And I think now like stuff feels too,

when you make something new, it feels too like cookie cutter to like, here's the formula. Like Carson, like was, you don't know who's going to walk the door. You don't know who's going to sit there. You're going to go, you don't know what he's going to do. You're going to, it was like, that was like the, it was like a hang. You felt like I'm hanging with the dudes. And it was like, probably almost like a podcast for the first, like Don Rickles coming by, like all these guys come by, like it had that kind of feel to it. And it didn't feel like, here's this celebrity that I don't know anything about. And they sit down and they don't know, you know, it's like,

There's no like, sometimes there's a rapport in the fact that like, it's like, yeah, just have people on and like be, and Arsenio would have had that feeling of just being like, you know, it's like a dude. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. The thing I was going to say, I don't know if I said it last time, Fallon, I think said my name right this time, Bargetzi. Oh, really? Oh, was it the first time? Yeah. He said the two B. We might talk about it next time. Cause he's already said Bargetzi. Yeah.

I don't think I, I didn't, I didn't say anything to him. I think someone like either my publicist, someone said something and he said it to me later. I was like laughing. I was like, I'll go. And next time we go on, I was like, I'll just talk about you saying it that way. Cause I think we say it wrong as our family. I think we're the ones that's wrong. Bargetzi. I think Bargetzi is, I think we say with an E and then we say it wrong. It should be Bargetzi. Yeah. But, but I would, it was like funny to be like, that was the first, like, you know, I just was like, I never said,

I don't even hear it. Yeah. Like I just go, yeah, yeah. It's Bargatze or Bargetze. I think if you're in that world, I'm like pretty good. Yeah, exactly. You turn around for sure. Turn around. I turn around. A couple more. Alan Thicke from Growing Pains. Remember that? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, talk show. Thicke of the Night.

Big in Canada, didn't work in the U.S. And John McEnroe, a show on CNBC from July to December of 2004, it twice garnered a Nielsen rating of 0.0. Literally no one watched it. Is it literally zero people? No, it would be a really small amount. So that means like, I mean, just very, very small. Did not even register. I mean, it's a cool looking show. Can you imagine being on a show and you're like, nobody.

Nobody's watching this. I think I did a, I mean, you can tell when I do like a late night, or not a late night set, but I've done a standup set on something and you're just like, not one person. I did one, New England Sports Network, N-E-S-N, New England Sports Network. And they aired a comedy thing and I remember doing it and I remember I never had a person go, hey, I saw that.

Never won. And I think I remember eventually someone saw it. It was on after a hockey game at a bar. So it was like they showed it like that. But it was funny to be like... Audio off. Yeah, just funny to be... Yeah, audio off. It's just crazy to be like... You go on TV and you're like, no one. Zero. It's like, yeah, it's good. Do you remember when Hugh Grant was on...

Leno right after he got arrested. Yeah. I think that switched Leno to first place. Oh, really? I think he and Letterman were back and forth. I think Letterman was, I've read this somewhere. That interview, everyone watched. Leno was funny, I guess. Yeah. And I've read that that kind of like was the beginning of him taking over first place. Well, it probably humanized Hugh Grant. Yep. Like Leno's a much better, if I was Hugh Grant, I'd rather go to Leno.

Leno's going to be... He's going to handle... He'll be able to make you... That's what a comic should do. I should be able to make you be like, this person's a human. This person made a mistake. I'm not going to just... I don't want to feel like I'm the audience yelling at you. Everybody can make their own decision on how they want to interact with or react to this guy from here on out. It's not right what he did or whatever it was. And so it's like you got to be... Letterman's the opposite of that. Where Letterman's, it's more...

you do what it's supposed to do. I don't think Letterman's, I think if you met Letterman, I bet I've never met him. And I imagine it's probably not the best time. I can't imagine it being where I've talked to Leno and it's the best. You could sit here and we could talk to Leno. We'd just talk comedy. We'd be like, we're just hanging out with a buddy. And I think if you were around Letterman, unless you're maybe like three people, you would be like, this is a nightmare. Yeah.

And like that's, and that shows, but that goes a long way. And you've got to be like, it's okay for that person to be, uh,

you know, Joaquin Phoenix. Joaquin Phoenix. Like if that, if you're an actor and you're like that kind of, you're like, okay, like you're, you're this kind of guy that like, you got to do so much weird stuff. If you're Jared Leto and you're like, or Leto, like you're, you're like, yeah, I don't know, dude, you have to be so weird characters. Like I understand you, maybe you wouldn't be the most, it'd be hard for you to be this because you're too good at this. Yeah. But if you're a talk show host, maybe you should be a little warm. Yeah.

That's funny because Joaquin Phoenix had that. He had the big thing. The big thing with Letterman. Yeah. Doing a character. Yeah. I remember watching that. Yeah. Because I just remember, I remember watching it and just being like, this is so weird. I know people love Letterman and like comics love, and I get the idea of like Letterman being funny, but like, I don't know if it's the older I get, the more I just get like, hey man, it's also like be a person and be like, I don't know, just like there's an elitism that,

could feel, you know, Letterman's new show where he's interviewing all those people. It's like, that feels like the most elite. Where is it? Aspen or something. It's like somewhere in Colorado. I only talk to the most famous people. I sit on stage and people watch us talk. It's like you're, and I'm just saying it could be interesting, but you're like that show sounded good all when it first like came out, but I don't know where it's at now. Like, cause you're just like, I don't know. So what y'all are amazing. Who cares? Life's great. Here's all the things that are great.

Here's two people that have no ounce of reality in their life. Not even a sort of.

They wouldn't even know if you had to go get something. If they have to go to the grocery store, they live in a town that has a grocery store from the 50s that seems like a movie set. You know what I mean? The guy that runs it is a guy that has a million dollars, and he just does it because it's fun for him to do it. There's no real-life experience. So it's like some of that, that's always I take stuff, is you take it where you're going like,

Yeah, dude. And Leno doesn't. Leno's the guy that you're like, that dude still does comedy. And that guy has all these cars, but you don't feel like he's bragging to you with his cars. The guy's successful. It's not saying he's not successful. But if that guy could pull up to an AutoZone and talk to any of those guys for hours, and you wouldn't feel like you would, he'd be like, all right, I'll see. And that's awesome. That's a good thing. That's what you want. That's what you want. I don't think it's a bad thing. For sure. All right.

You want to stop? Yeah. Why do you have something? No, I mean... I don't know if I can keep going. All right, let's stop. Yeah. Alan Thicke. John McEnroe. John McEnroe, Alan Thicke. I think it'd be fun being a talk show host. I think. Is that something you'd want to do? I don't know. Maybe. You're essentially a talk show host. I kind of like it, but I would just be... I like...

I like doing it. I don't mind it. I don't think I would mind it as much as I thought I would. I used to be like, I don't know if I would. I don't know if I would mind it now. I'd want to, I like the idea of trying to make someone, you get to be funny and then you got to try to make someone else be interesting and like build someone else up. Yeah. Yeah. I think you would be a good with kids.

I think I could do kids. I think I could do with celebrities. I mean, some of that is when we were doing some people in here, if we get celebrities in here, I like doing it here alive. And I usually do my friends, but I do like the idea of we get someone like, if you have Shay where you're like, you want to be like, yo, I just want to show you that this dude's like a regular, like here's us being dudes and we're hanging out and like, you can hang out with Shay. Like we could all hang out together. Like, it's like, that's what you want to be like, yo, we're all normal. And like, you know, it's like, it is what it is. Uh,

And so I like showing that. So like if there's a sense of like where you got someone you're like, if I would want, that's what I would want to show. So like if you can't, I wouldn't want to interview someone that couldn't get out of that. Like if you couldn't get out of that, I would be like, what are you doing? What are we doing? Like you don't, you're not normal. You don't have like a normal, be normal for a second. You know, it's like, I understand people have money, but it's like, I would want, you know, how do you, how do you do that? All right. Yeah. I don't think.

So thanks. Yeah, I guess that's it. The end's on him. Thank you, everybody. This is longer than we thought. Talk shows. Yeah, it was good. Yeah. All right, we'll see you next week. We love you, as always. Thank you for always being here. Yep, talk to you next week. Bye. Bye.

Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media.

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