#91 Diet & Exercise with Dusty Slay ft. Mike Vecchione
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Hello, folks. Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. We're back. We've been gone. I've been gone for a month. I'm here with Aaron Weber, as always. We have the co-host, technically, Dusty Slay, who's in for Brian Bates, and we also have Mike Vecchione, who's in town. Bit of a diva, Mike Vecchione. He was dusty. He was going to sit in Brian's seat, and then Mike

Right. And he doesn't, you know. Well, it's because of a personal, it's a self-esteem issue. Yeah. I didn't like the way I looked on the last thing. So it was a me issue. It wasn't a power play the way that you're making it out to be. Oh, it was a you. All right. Well, I hope you guys liked him straight on. Yeah. You know. I think I'm better. I've been in this chair many times. I feel good here. You like it? Yeah. Well, you have the hair and the beard and, you know. Yeah. So it's. I cover it. You know, we want to make sure that Mike's comfortable. Yeah.

He's getting older and might go. Uh, all right. So, uh, no. So we obviously baits. I think, uh, everybody knows, uh, this is Monday, the something 20th, 21st, 21st. Yeah. First day of spring, all that stuff. Uh, and baits, uh, should be, their babies should be coming. They're at the hospital. They're at the hospital now. Yeah. Uh, so it could be happening right now. We don't know if we get a live update. We'll let you know. Uh,

But so, yeah, next time you guys will see Bates, he will be a father. Wow. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah. Who would have thunk it? You know? Yeah.

I like to think he's old enough where he's the generation where you're not allowed in the room when the kid's born. He's smoking a cigar out there. You can't do this anymore. You can't. Yeah, you got to be in the room. Well, you got to vape now, I think. Yeah, that's true. And that dictates how the kid is going to be raised if you vape. He should vape for the kid. Right. Let him come in just in the room. You know how many people are born, young kids, right?

Bless her heart. They just have a baby too young, and then their boyfriend that's just in the corner, like, just ain't... Ripping a jewel? You just see the vape smoke come in. The doctor's like, hey, like, out of all the places. And he's like, but vape doesn't matter, dude. It's just water vapor, bro. It's just water vapor, bro. Why are you being maybe read something once in a while? There you go.

Could you not vape during the, well, here we are. So we're excited to be back. It's been a busy, uh, uh, month. Uh, been on the road, still going out on the road. Mike Vecchione is here. We're going to go to Zany's tonight to look at his, uh, to set up for his special. We are shooting, uh, April 19th. Yeah. Very excited. Very excited. Uh, I want everybody, if you're in Nashville, come out to the special. Uh, we do two shows, April 19th at Zany's. Uh, Vecchione is, uh, one of the funniest comics ever. Uh,

I'm obviously a giant fan. It's just... He does what I think what you guys like, especially on this podcast. It's jokes. You're going to have fun. It's just pure fun for an hour. And that's what we're making. It'll be good. It'll be clean for the people that listen to this and they want to not be batted down by Mike's filth that he's had in the past. I've cleaned up my act. I'm reformed. Before he was...

definitely everybody knew where he was going, but now, you know, he's got shot up at, up at the top. It is very funny. Yeah. Yeah. I've listened to his album a couple of times. Very funny. Yeah. Very funny. Yeah. Mike's been doing kind of 15 years longer. Yeah.

I'm 400 years old, actually. Mike started when Dusty was born. Well, it's well-seasoned. That's what makes you like it. Well-seasoned is a good way to describe it. It's well-seasoned. It's a little spicy. It's a little spicy. It's spicy for a lot of people. People leave, but most people, they don't ever walk out of the room, but maybe they go sit back by the bar. Well, I'm excited to do it in Nashville because when people walk out, I know they'll be walking to their trucks.

Boom. It's a big truck gun culture here. Yeah, yeah. I called him on. Welcome, Mr. Philadelphia. You guys don't have a problem going on. Perfect place. I called the crowd rurals last night. They didn't respond well. What are we doing? He calls us hill folk. Oh, yeah. The hill folk. He goes, that's right, hill folk. And then he gives us pounds and makes it.

My brother-in-law used to call us hillbillies and we were in Alabama. We weren't even around hills. Yeah. I guess it's better than like trash. Yeah. We were living in a trailer, but we weren't on a hill. You're like, we're white trash. Yeah. Maybe. You had to correct them. Look at your surroundings. Yeah. And he's from Michigan, right? And I'm like, growing up, I thought all northern states were all cities. Right. I had no idea what was going on.

Oh, yeah. Now I've been through Michigan. I'm like, oh, you're the same as Alabama. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're the same. Yeah, that's the...

it's you say, you do think that you think, well, the North, you just grow up thinking the North is like, well, they go to college and stuff. Right. Like they're just, and then you start traveling. You're like, Oh, like y'all are me. Yeah. None of us are going to college. You know? Yeah. You went to college, you went to Penn state. Yeah. Yeah. During all that stuff. Uh, I believe one of the reasons you went, go ahead. Who recruited you? Sandusky himself. Uh,

I didn't know we were going there. Oh, no. It's a clean podcast. I thought we keep it clean on Nate Land. We do. We do. But, you know, trying to wet the whistle a little bit for you because you are having to tone it down. We've neutered you, and you're not being allowed to run free. So Penn State. Penn State, and then I got a master's degree. You're stalling me. Don't move yet. My education continued.

I went at night and I got a degree from Cabrini College, a small Catholic college outside of Philadelphia in special education. Wow. So is that good? Special education is very nice. It's a big heart you got doing stuff like that. I do like that. But getting a master's at night, is that easier than the day? Yeah.

It's not. I would imagine. Because you have to work a day job. I worked with kids with behavioral problems during the day, and then at night I would have to take classes. This is not about the kids. I'm saying that usually, I don't think people are going to Harvard and they got their masters at night. So I'm saying when you go at night and you go get your masters, it's like to a drive-thru window or something like that. It's not.

And then the teachers are probably not the top, top, right? Like who, what teacher goes, I hope I get to work the graveyard shift to teach the master's degree. Is what I'm saying. Is it a pretty loose master's? No, it's not a loose master's, Nate. Okay. I see you taking shots at me. Like we're dumber than the people who get their master's during the day. Day hours is all I'm asking. Like you're in, you know,

As a working professional, Nate, you have to work during the day, and then you needed the supplemental coursework at night. I mean, you're not familiar with secondary education, Nate. I'm not. I'm not. I'm just saying, does your master's degree, when they print it, does it have the time like 9 p.m. on it? Does it say, like that's when it was handed to you? They call it a twilight master's. The twilight master's thing, yeah.

I'll just go with you on it. After I was resisting it for a while, but you just kept battering me with jokes. And after a while, I just go, you know what? You win. It's a Twilight Masters. That's what I think a lot of the teachers do that teach Night Masters. And they eventually go, that's fine, everybody. I'm, you know, I can't. I just try to one day hopefully shoot during the day. Can I imagine? Let's just say your teacher didn't wake up till 11 or noon easily. Yeah.

And then wanted to get out of there so he can go to happy hour. Now he missed happy hour. He's just going to the late, he's going to the server hours. Right. The after hours, the after party. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, it does feel like there would be less people. I don't, I didn't go to college either, so I don't know, but it does feel like night school. There'd be less people. We're the ones that can talk about it. The most is the ones that didn't go. Right. Uh,

you know, that's the most fun. Yeah, yeah, exactly. We were not allowed to go, so. I think just listening to your albums, I think we had a similar college experience. I went to a couple of classes. Yeah, yeah. And then I was like, I don't, no, I can't, this is not for me. No, no. I'm going to figure another way. Yeah, yeah, it was, yeah, I don't, it was like, there's just, it's not going to, it's either going to be,

I mean, luckily, I started comedy. You started comedy. Well, my way was- Tomorrow, I'd be a regular job. My way was selling pesticides. And then after doing that for a while, I was like, let's find another way. Let's find a different way. A third way. Yeah. I'll keep trying. Pesticides. And you just found the job for pesticides? Yeah, I just kind of-

Did a part-time gig. And then, you know, my boss was a Penn State grad, too. Wow. Yeah. That's what the best thing is. Real connections. His boss. And then he retired and I took the job with no college. Wow. Wow. So you were the boss. After a while, yeah. Wow. With no Penn State. Yeah. No Penn State. And then you took the risk of leaving that to start comedy. Yes. Wow. Wow.

Yeah. I mean, you had a solid job. I was, my title was a district manager. Whoa. Yeah. Big time. So did you manage all the Myrtle beach? Yeah. It was just, you know, it seemed better than, than it was. I had Myrtle beach, Charleston Savannah. It was like, Oh, cool. I had a vest. Yeah. And I had a, I had a collared shirt.

And you were an exterminator. No, no. I would just go into Lowe's and Home Depot and sell pesticides. Oh, you would sell pesticides? I would go, hey, you guys, I see you got a display for this product. Why not put a display for mine? And that's the boss? Was that the pitch? Selling this stuff? Was that the pitch? Well, there was- Why not do mine? Boss was really a loose term. Yeah. I mean, my company was calling me a district manager, but I wasn't really managing a lot of

people. So the peak of pesticide is just to not be in the... The bottom's the basement. You're in the basement with the roaches and all that stuff. Yeah, part-time, the job ends in winter. But if you're the... Yeah, winter's huge for y'all. Y'all love it. And then...

uh, cause nature, God does his own work. Right. And winter I'm hanging out. I go to a lot of coffee shops. Yeah. And then, but if you make it to the top, you're just the face telling people about it. Yeah. The people are like, I'm using this product. Is there someone above that? Oh yeah. There's regional manager. And then there's like, uh, like as you get on up, people are doing nothing. Yeah. Yeah. They figured it out. Yeah. Is it pesticides for like garden plants?

Or yeah, I've noticed for everything. I don't really know what pesticides are. Pesticides, herbicides, rodenticides, all of them. Wow. Oh, that's like weeds. Spectracide. Yeah. Bugs and weeds. Bugs and weeds. Yeah. Oh, bugs can't hide from spectra. Is there anybody that just does one or the other?

I don't think so. It's like you kind of like if you're doing it, you couldn't be like, we do weeds, you know, we'll have bugs and they go, I don't, that's a... No, I'm like, yeah, whatever you need. I can kill it for you. We're spraying the same stuff on all this stuff. Yeah, it's probably the same. Yeah. It's like, just spread this out there. Were you ever in the middle of it and went, maybe I should go to college or no? No, I was like, maybe I should get a different job, but college was never really on my mind. Was that a thing with your...

parents like you two Nate like were your parents because my parents were like there's no you're going to college yeah so that's not a that's not a discussion yeah my parents wanted me to go but they didn't want to help pay right and I was like well how do my my dad's a magician my mom didn't go to college my dad went to college late so I don't I don't I don't think there was it was a shock when I wasn't

When I didn't finish, they helped, like, pay. Did you just wake up and your dad's in a tank of water? Yeah. Trying to get out. He's just trying to get out. That's our alarm clock. I got to get him out of his underwater thing. He's shaking. And I'm like, Dad, you almost didn't make it. You know? And he's like, I know. That would be very... It's really great to wake up to that. Me and my brother just wake up and it's just him just...

flying around just trying to get the chains off and he can't get it. He's hanging, he's upside down underwater. Did he just go like this? I'm like, why would you do it upside down? I go, just do it. You're in the water. That's oppressive enough. But I imagine he goes, yeah, it gets up your nose. I go, yeah, yeah. Did you ever like throw a playful punch at your father and he go, hey, that's how Houdini died. Oh yeah, we talked about that a lot. Because that is how Houdini died. He'd break up any fight, we broke it up quick because he's seen it.

He goes, I've seen this go wrong. Houdini. We talk about Houdini more than most people probably. Just every day. We thanked him. So let's do some comments. Yeah. I got this Grove stuff on. People were wondering this. I had a little golf trip. Went to the Grove 23, Michael Jordan's course. Oh, really? Very exciting. Did not see him.

We were hoping to see him. I think we just missed him. And then, but the place is like, I mean, everybody's so nice that works there. He like what you hear is like that. He, he runs it in a way of like, it's like, we're all equal here. We're all like, you know, it's like, it's, I don't know. It's just like, everybody has very nice things to say about like, you know, him and he kind of knows everybody. Yeah.

I saw King Griffey Jr., which was cool. Just going, what's up? I don't know. But it's crazy to see him from a distance. I'd see him hit a couple shots. He's left-handed. You see that swing. You recognize the swing still? Oh, yeah. Even as a golf swing, it's just so – the golf swing is just so smooth. And you're like, God.

That's amazing. Best baseball game ever. The video game, Ken Griffey Jr. You remember that? Ken Griffey Jr. The game? Yeah. Yeah. Super Nintendo. He was pretty poor. It was the best.

I was pretty poor. I had that game for, you know, you milk a game. You get a game and you're like, no, no, this is the best. Yeah, the Ken Griffey. I mean, I don't know if this looks like the best game. Have you seen some of the baseball games now? Well, when it came out. Well, they got too complicated with it. They had to end up watching TV on the antenna. The game of baseball did not change. Back then, it's fast, curve, change up. Now, you can target where you throw it. And back then, you just...

When this came out, this was a big deal. Yeah, you click on that corner over there. Look at that guy. Look how muscular that guy is. It was like, what are you going to do? You watch Channel 2 kind of squirrely, or you can play this game. That's all they have. You go to Channel 3 and play that. Yeah. You go to Channel 3, play a clear game, or watch the news kind of squirrely on 2. Exactly. Yeah.

See where the tornadoes are. I'm just always kind of keeping an eye. I've been on a big tornado, like watching stuff on tornadoes. I do want to go. I still want to go tornado watch, storm chasing.

I watched like that one that went to Oklahoma City. It's just so crazy. They're just, it's unreal. Like it just comes out of nowhere and it's just this mile long thing that just wrecks everything. It can be several miles wide. Yeah. It's insane. If a podcast fan is hearing this and does this for a living, would you do a ride along with them? Yeah, yeah. I would go do it. Yeah. Yeah. If I can find the time to go do it, I want them to be good.

And I want it to, I don't want you to be going, you know, and if I, I'm like, how many times you've done this? You go, this is it. This is number one. But I've always wanted to do it just like you like, uh, but I, yeah, we're, I'll get out there. It's hard to schedule one.

Yeah, you got to be open. But I mean, I would just kind of figure out, like, you know, find out when the period is. And hopefully it's like, what is it, May? I mean, it's just super hard for my schedule. Like a tornado comedy tour. You go and you're following along. You chase the tornado to the next venue. Hope that it doesn't hit the venue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it with Earthquake. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Do it with Earthquake. Yeah, there's probably a tornado comedy. Maybe that could be Comedian Tornado. Yeah. Yeah.

Nathaniel Wines. Wines. Wines or Wines. Haven't even started the episode yet, but so happy to see Dusty back. He's been one of the greatest diamonds in the rough this podcast has given me. Went back and listened to all his albums after his first appearance. So happy to see him on the latest seasons of The Stand-Ups. Just an awesome dude and hilarious to boot. We're having a good time. All right. Nathaniel Wines. Way to go. Coming in hot. One more. We won't read his comment after he listens to the episode. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, now he's like, I haven't even started. He goes, but this guy gets it, just speaks the truth, seems like a stand-up guy, and then he's like, oh, boy. Yeah, he did watch the dinosaur one. He could change his mind after that. OrangeBlue37, the scientific illiteracy...

That's right. He nailed it, man. And this episode was astounding. That being said, this was by far the funniest episode in a long time. The chemistry between Nate Aaron, Beefaroni, and Dusty was electric. Keep up the good work. Yeah, yeah.

Well, I don't understand the first sentence, but the scientific literacy. Yeah. I don't get where he's coming from on that. No. It sounds like this guy needs some pesticides. I would think so. You know? Oh yeah. I mean, I think I have a pretty good grasp on what's going on with dinosaurs. Would you would pesticide? They would kill someone, right? Yeah. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. So like you could, would you ever get like called to be like, yo, could you do it in my yard and maybe. Oh no, I wouldn't do it. Come over early. Really? I didn't know a lot. I read the bags and then I would tell people what I read and that's all they need. Yeah. Yeah. They're not really looking for answers. They're like, should I buy this? I go, yeah, you should. Yeah. And they'll go, thank you, man. Yeah.

I appreciate it. Do you go like, what's your issue? And then let them speak and then go, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got, we got a specific brand. The good line is always go, my mom uses this one. Yeah. Right. Oh yeah. People love that. Right. Yeah.

Do you go to, in the South, do you go to the Waffle House on Sundays and just like chat it up with people so that there's a buzz? Is that how you spread? Well, you know, well, back then- Since college doesn't seem to be an issue down there, you know? Yeah. It's like a Waffle House. We have the time. Yeah. Well, back then I was drinking a lot. Yes. And I weirdly found myself in a lot of pesticide conversations in bars. Yeah. Yeah.

We would be drunk. It's Charleston. It's beautiful. It's a beautiful day. People start talking about their grass. I'm like, you know, I got a good product. Right. And then. Would you hook them up?

No. Could you hook them up? I could give them a bag that had been busted. Yeah. I usually carried a few in the trunk of my car. Yeah. Do you call them loosies? Yeah, my car smelled like pesticides. Yeah, the bags that are open. I can give you some loosies. Yeah. I always think the idea that someone's like, come on by, I'll hook you up. And you're like, I mean, what hooking up can there really be done? Like when someone works, when you got like, you work at a regular office, you're like, I mean, if I worked at like a water park, you're like, yeah, I could look the other way as you come in. But-

Like some other, like that kind of job, you're like, oh, I'll hook you up. And you're like, how could you? You're like, I really can't. I just said that. I'll give you like a hat or something. What if someone was really serious? If people do like a hat, they're like, you know what? I would love a hat. People love a hat. My dad loves a hat. There was a guy named Rusty, and he would give me barbecue chicken, and I would take him pesticides.

For free? Yeah. We would trade off barbecue chicken. He did it at his house. You don't have to track these pesticides? No, I would write it off from the store and just say- Promotional. Yeah, promotional. Promotional. And he would give me barbecue chicken and- Right. It was- I bet that happens. That could happen probably more than people realize. If you just have the courage to go like, yo, man-

I'll give you lunch every day. Just give me pesticides. And it's like, deal. And you wash, and then you're like, we're done. Yeah, I'm all about it. Did you ever take half the bag out and then give it to him, and he goes, a little light this week? Yeah. You know? It never got that intense. I could see, you know, going down the road, maybe we get that way. Yeah. You go, hey, this barbecued chicken was pretty dry. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, like his wife. Well, he goes, I don't know, your pesticide was... His wife gave me bread one time, and then the next time I didn't get any bread. Is that code for something? No, no. Well, it was code bread. Okay, all right. This is an above board. I'm just trying to police it, Nate. Hey, thank you. I don't want Dusty going over the line. That's true. I don't like it either. Not code, though. Okay. Real bread. Real bread, yeah. Okay. Holly Stone. The amount of times you reference that dinosaurs may be fake is quite disturbing. Holly Stone.

Sounds like she's got some of her own problems. Holly, it sounds like you've got some of your own issues. Yeah. Holly, what's your problem with the fact that you can't say dinosaurs might be fake? What world are we living in that you can't

Say dinosaurs are fake. Look, if kids are listening to this, obviously, don't listen to us. During that episode, we pulled up a picture of dinosaurs with feathers. Yeah, right. And they say that's how they were now. Right. So, I don't know. Fake seems less disturbing than that to me. Yeah, yeah. Like they were like chicken wings out here. Basically just saying, do you want to tell your kids that they had feathers are fake? Which one's the better way? Yeah, I'm saying fake. Yeah.

If anybody is listening to Dusty and going, well, I guess they're fake and believe him, then that's, you got your own issues. Yeah, that's right.

That's how I always look at everything. They got mad at Kyrie Irving for being the flat earther. And you're like, if anybody's listening to the point guard of the Brooklyn Nets and they're taking his advice, I was like, then let's worry about it. There's probably other issues. They go, well, Kyrie Irving said it. It's crazy. Who's your references? Who's your sources? Kyrie Irving, Dusty Slay. They go, well, I don't even – what does that even mean? I don't mind the list.

It's a good list. Yeah. You guys would get along quite well. I think so. I think so. Just, Justine Richardson. So refreshing to hear some solid sarcasm thrown at scientific theories, spouted as facts. Keep it coming after all science, after all scientists supposed to be asking and challenging those simple questions, right? Yeah, I agree. Yeah. I wasn't being sarcastic. I felt, yeah, I was, I was on here. I thought as an expert, I mean, I was with, we were with people, uh,

These guys made money from the stock market, and I asked them, could the stock market ever go away?

And that was, you know, that's, they, I noticed, oh, I didn't ask them a question that they ever get at. No one ever just goes, yeah, dude, no one's, these guys have made money off Samaria. And I'm always like, but what if it just went away? Like, what if it just stopped working? They never thought about that. They never thought about it. It's like a metaphysical thing. They go, it goes up and down. And Nate goes, but what if it just disappears? Another dimension. It's another dimension. Yeah. Metaphysical. Yeah. So I stood by it.

Sam Poland. Nate asking which C is silent and condescendingly made me do a spit take. As though the word might be pronounced on descendingly. Keep it up, fellas. There's only two Cs.

Yeah, that would be like on the skin. Yeah. Yeah. On the skin. Yeah. There's two of them. I also asked if the stock market could ever stop. So this is in a row of just like, and we just go dinosaurs may be fake.

I said stock markets could be that. Then I'm asking, which C is condescending? Maybe you combine them and just go, could the stock market ever go extinct? Extinct. Or did it ever really exist? Yeah, right. That's a better question. Brittany Vander Moore. Moore-ee. Moore-ee-er. Turns out Nate was onto something with a comment about moving his family underwater.

We can indeed evolve to become more aquatic. The Baja people of Indonesia have evolved to a life in the ocean, diving for their food all day. They have lived on the water for over a thousand years and in that time have evolved to hold their breath for up to 13 minutes at a depth of 200 feet. Turns out over their time, their spleens have grown significantly larger, which acts as an internal scuba tank.

So future Bargatzee generations could very well live amongst the dolphins after all. Wow. That's pretty crazy. Is that true? Yeah, we got them swimming around. 13 minutes underwater is pretty crazy. Yeah, what are we doing worshiping David Blaine?

I mean, fly over there. But it took them 1,000 years to do it. 13 minutes doesn't really seem like that big of a deal if it took you 1,000 years. Yeah, but I mean, what is David Blaine's record? Like, you know, I mean, I don't, you know. 17 minutes? I mean, I imagine they got guys that can do 20. And they're actively hunting.

during this time yeah they're not just standing there still like it's just it's crazy like when you put it in perspective and you go i did 17 minutes if you're from that community you go we did we do 13 like on a tuesday dude like you go if i even kind of paid attention i would do 20 i don't even know where he's like i'm just i mean in the morning i go do i do 10 just as like an accident yeah like i just i get kind of lost in my thoughts down there and i'm like what a

It's 16 minutes on just a whim. And does your father have a problem when you bash other magicians? No, no. Does he take it personal? No, no. I'm just saying it's just funny. Yeah, we are protective of Rome. But what was the Tales joke on David Blaine?

I tell the joke, he goes, David Blaine just looks like he's doing stuff like, how long can I stay on your couch for? It's like he's doing just stuff that's like, he's just around. Like, you know, my next trick, I'm going to try to live in your living room for two months. And you're like, all right, David. That's the joke's better than that. Rocky Duncan. Dusty Slade doesn't believe in dinosaurs, but dresses exactly like a paleontologist.

He looks like he just finished brushing off some stegosaurus bone. All right. I'm into it. Yeah. That's great. You would be that. That's a great observation, Rocky. That's how I know they're not real. Yeah. Because you go and been out there digging around. As you brush, you go, what are we brushing here? Yeah. I'm like, I'm pretty sure this is chicken bones. Yeah. That's why you think feathers have been on it.

But they were big chickens. Big chickens, yeah. Yeah. Farmers. Wait, do you believe in big chickens? Yeah, I mean, you know, they... So they would be big, giant chickens. Yeah. So you're like, it's not a dinosaur. It's just we used to have a big chicken problem. Yeah. Like the chickens. So when people had chickens at their house, you're like, well, you're lucky you can even do that now. Because back in the day, if you had 40 chickens back there, you're like, I mean, they're coming through this window. We're upstairs. Yeah. Yeah. Chickens don't mess around. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. They've luckily gotten smaller. Yeah. Luckily for us. Yeah. Yeah. They were taken over at one point. At one point. Yeah. Yeah. That's why that tribe moved to the water. Yeah. Because the chickens were out of those. I mean, it was a major problem. Like you go, you know, when he had chicken, I mean, he was like, yeah, what are y'all eating tonight? Chicken. You're like, golly, what are you? Back then it was like, so what are y'all eating this month? Chicken. One chicken would last us the whole month.

Blue Solo Cup. This is about a conspiracy theory comment. This is from Blue Solo Cup. Watching Nate, Bronny, and Dusty try to describe why gravity is not so was difficult to listen to. Aaron really is the only one on this podcast with a basic understanding of physics. Dusty inadvertently begins to describe gravity in an effort to argue that it isn't real. Mind-blowing stuff. Well, that's what I like to do. Just come on here and blow minds. Yeah. I mean. Yeah.

I like the argument that it does end up going back to going, yeah, dude, that's the definition of gravity. And you're like, oh. Yeah. But is it? But is it? But is it really? There's no dinosaurs, only big chickens. That's what, I'm not, there's a comment. Oh, yeah. That's what we stand by here on the, now the farm animals were just gigantic back then. A cow was like a brontosaurus. Hmm. Crazy. Maybe even the behemoth from the Bible. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Talking about a big cow. Trent Stewart. Without a doubt, Dusty Slade was the perfect guest for this episode. For the record, I think I'm leaning his way on a lot of thoughts. Love the podcast. All right. You're winning some minds. I'm trying to pull people in. Dusty, do you feel like an influencer now? Because a lot of people are just praising you. They like it. Well, you know, I'm breaking the mold here. A lot of...

Well, you know, I just like to... A dinosaur influencer. Yeah, it's a lot more fun than just, you know, we're just talking about... But not really a dinosaur influencer because he doesn't believe in them. He's against them. He's against them. So he's, you know, a big farm animal. You would... Because it's like... So they're finding big bones.

What are the bones, right? The big chicken bones. But they'll find like a bone, right? And then they'll go, you go to the museum and it's like, they got this whole animal constructed. Right. And then they'll go, this is the bone we found. Yeah. But the rest of it is just made up. Yeah. They're like, based on that bone, we figured that it will look like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, well, what's that one bone that you found? Yeah. What is that? Yeah. And for all we know, it is a giant chicken bone.

So maybe there's not dinosaurs. You don't believe in the museum system, maybe. Yeah, I mean, that's skeptical. Yeah. That would be more fair to go like, I don't trust these museums. Dusty, you're anti-museum? Anti-museum. Anti-dinosaur, anti-museum. Yeah, I mean, if I go to a museum, I can be in and out of there pretty quick. Yeah, I can. Did you just walk through and go, fake, stupid, that's dumb, you guys are crazy, I'm out. So you've been there with me before. Yeah.

My wife's like, I want to read this. I'm like, no, no, no. Let's come on. I've been to museums with you. Remember the Great Lakes Museum in Duluth, Minnesota? Oh, yeah. Yeah, we blazed right through that. Lies, lies, lies, lies. Yeah. There you just go. I like it. I can fly through a museum. Yeah. You read a couple of them, and then you're like, all right, I can't. It's just a lot. It's like suddenly you get over there, and you're like, this is...

yeah are you even remembering all the things right you guys probably go in there like what is this college yeah what did i get tricked into going to college yeah yeah that's what it feels like yeah yeah it's like an accident you're like am i paying for college right yeah yeah where are the drinks yeah let's go get some guns right guys yeah hill folk hill folk right guns yeah i'm in i'm in uh

Did I tell you that? I don't think I told this story. We were talking about this weekend. I had dinner once with a guy, and he was a wonderful person. But he would pound us, I mean, the whole time. So they were drinking. I wasn't drinking. I mean, the whole, he would just be like, dude, what about, we were like, there's music playing in the background. He's like, what about this song, dude? And I'm like, yeah, it's great. And he'd be like, right, dude?

right and he'd go and he just kept he's like dude he goes alright dude this song like and then he I mean it just the whole night was like he's like he goes us together yeah

And then he would just go around the table and just be like... And you had to do it. You know what? I know you're making fun of it. I'm way on board with this guy. I know, you like it. I love it. So the whole... It was so great. And then... Because it was... If he wasn't so likable, you would have probably hated this guy. But the fact that he was so wonderful, you were like, I didn't want him to stop. And he would just be...

At one point, I don't know if we can get this on camera, but he comes to me. I'm sitting next to him. At one point, he goes, dude, you're doing great, dude. He goes, you're doing great. And he scoots back from his head, and he gives me the low high five. So go down low, under the table high five. He goes, dude, you're doing great. He does three. He goes, oh.

He does three of them. And that was just a me and him thing. He didn't get the whole table involved. He just goes, God, God, God. Just like, because you're doing so great, man. And then just, I mean, all night was that. And it was one of my favorite nights ever just to watch him. It's the best. I tried to start one of the fist bumps one time, and he did it. I didn't think, but I got a, I don't think he cared for it. No, it was his thing. I think it was like, it's like, that's what I went, I go, I just did it. And then he was like, he did it like, yeah.

I got this part of the party. Figure out your own thing. I'm controlling the rhythm of the fist bump. I swear to you, I'm not lying on this number, over under 20 times. Great. Probably over. But I would put the over under 20. And how long is the hang?

We were there for, they were drinking. So then, you know, people lose kind of track of time. And so we were there for, I mean, we were there for like five hours. We were all hanging out talking. 20 in five hours is not that bad. Once you break down the ratio, I know you guys are not college guys, but once you break down the ratio ratios, uh, like a fraction. Oh, but once you break down the ratio of it, it's, it's not, um, can we look that up? Yeah. Uh,

ratio for these guys. But once you break it down, it's actually not that much. But if you think about, I don't do 20 times in a week, really. So in a condensed time. Every 15 minutes, he's doing a fist bump. It's almost like we get there, fist bump. We leave, fist bump. I'm not even throwing in cheers, dude. I'm not even throwing in cheers in his toast. Oh, man. Are you a big toast guy, Mike? You got to make a couple toasts. No, I'm a fist pound guy, but I should start throwing in some toasts.

Right? Toast wear me down. Guys. Cheersing would get, like I remember in New York when everybody would go out every night, it'd be like, every time we had our first beer, you're like, yo, we do this every night. We do it every night, baby. Like you can't. Yeah.

We can't just every day be like, it's this special. Somebody buys a round of shots, then you got to do it. I felt like when you do a shot, we were all cheersing and then doing the shot. And then all of a sudden, everybody was cheersing and then touching the table and doing the shot. That's how I was raised. I was like, when did the table touch get introduced? But you never let the glass touch. You put your pinky underneath it.

You never let the glass touch the table. That's a fine point. That's how I was raised. Really? And what's the reason for it? Your family takes shots at home? Is that part of y'all's education as you grew up? Let me talk to you, Aaron, for a little bit. One day you'll be 21, and you're going to get out there, and you're going to be doing shots with the people. And what we do...

Touch. Don't. Well, first of all, there's a practical reason. You're going to break a glass. It's going to happen if everybody's slamming their shot glass against the table. I think people are slamming them. And the more you do, the less control you have. If you are slamming it. So if you're not thinking, don't break this glass on the table, I don't think you're remembering to put your pinky down. I just don't. I mean, I guess maybe you're building a habit. Right. So then maybe when you're.

gone for me breaking a glass is a fist bump moment you know you know you cheer yeah you know what let's like you don't can like shag break in the rear get kicked out of the bar but yeah let's get out of here after you break the glass somebody has to go this is epic yeah it's an epic night remember when you broke that glass yeah epic epic yeah it's just a superstition though yeah i don't know why we all does it conflict with the prayers yeah

You're a big drinker. Catholics are drunks. I don't think my shot technique has anything to do with Catholicism. I don't think it does. It's just how I was taught. But I'm not Catholic, and we didn't learn that way. Yeah, because you weren't raised Catholic. My parents are Catholic, but I was raised Baptist.

They were Catholic growing up. When we were born, now we're Baptists. So my family, we were Southern Baptists. And then my parents, I think, go to the Baptist. My dad would go back and go to some Catholic, but his whole family's Catholic. Everybody else is Catholic. We just ventured off, you know. But it's, yeah, Catholic...

choose your words choose them carefully oh yeah we got two catholics right here that's right rock it boom just yep water into wine dog yeah what's up i think i told this story i did the communion once i tell that story no you thought of christ yeah yeah but i didn't know what to say yeah someone did a joke about this so i don't want to someone said that but like i but i truly happened i went up to uh communion uh

It was my Aunt Sandy's wedding, which why I wear this, my Aunt Sandy did just pass away from cancer. That's why we had this. That's why I've had this on there. That's why this is. I'll just keep this on there for her. And just recently she did that at her wedding. So when you go through the communion, they do the thing. But I didn't know what, you know, we were Baptist. Like I've never done that. You're just following the crowd. You get in line. And the guy's like, he sits like this. And I just, and I was like.

I didn't say anything. He sits there and I go, thank you. Yes, sir. Thank you. I said a bunch of stuff. I said, amen. I didn't know what to say. Amen is the right way to say it. Maybe I didn't say amen. I just said, please. I just said a bunch of stuff. And then finally, I just got, I go, Jesus. Yeah, in the South, after you take it, do you go, I support the troops? Yeah. Yes. I think it's different down here. It is different down here. I go, don't tread on me.

I did communion once after I quit drinking. I thought it was grape juice, and it was a real shot of wine. Yeah. And I felt it. Right. I was like, I'm about to relapse in church. And then you go. I thought, I'm going to happy hour after this. That's awesome. You go, well, the Lord wants me to start again. Yeah. Katie Hale.

Howie. H-A-L-E. This episode was hilarious. Nate playing out how all the conspiracies would be if they were really true had me howling. It made me realize that we're all a bunch of idiots who don't understand how something works. And instead of taking the time to learn something new, we just take what we already know to make it make sense. Yep. Sounds about right.

That's what's around. Well, I find that a conspiracy is taking the time to learn something new. That's what I always think. Oh, yeah. That's what a conspiracy is. Yeah. We're like, this is the mainstream, and now let me learn a new thing. Let me duck off down this one hallway no one's walking down.

The path less taken. Yeah. They tell you to take the path less taken. But it's when you can't get back. It's the road less traveled. Right. The road less traveled. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's college. Yeah. Yeah, that's what y'all learned is how to answer questions. This is more of a... That's what college is. College is basically you pay 100 grand to be good at Trivial Pursuit

and you just come and you just nail it. Yeah. Path Less Taken is more of a Hill Folk's version. Yeah, that's a Hill Folk version of it. That's the conspiracy way. Well, that's a book on tape, I think. Yeah. People don't read it. I try to listen on tape. I can't do that. I just think about how much time I try to start reading a book again. I got one

I try to read it. I'm starting to try to read again. I'm trying to read on the, uh, I did script. And, uh, so I got a book on that, like reading on the iPad, but it's like, I'm having a hard time focusing. I just, man, I started. And then, I mean, I'll get there with the page and I'm like, it just meant nothing to me. I mean, I don't, it was like, it's just like, and I'm starting over and I'm like, I don't even know if it's, I can't get past the first page. Yeah. Do you guys have a reading comprehension in your schools? Uh, school system. Is that debate about reading or not?

I was on the side that was against it. Sometimes I'll begin a book and I'll go, this is going to be really good. What does that mean? Like, do you understand reading? Yeah. You'd have to read a passage and then you would have to answer about five questions about the passage. So maybe I just learned how to read. You could measure if you retained any of the information. So I'm like a guy that like went to the gym and like, I just got shown how to use the equipment, but I never used the equipment. Like that's where I'm at. Right. Oh, so I don't know how to read.

You know how to read, but it's like, can you retain it? No, it doesn't retain. It leaves. I would go right to the questions and read it and then try to go back up and dig through. Dusty, that's called cheating. Yeah, that's where I'm from. Yeah, that's what those, heard us from college. Gary Burgess, the moon orbits around the earth, but it doesn't spin on its own axis.

That's what Gary says. The same side always faces Earth. Maybe the fact would allay some of Dusty's concerns about NASA's ability to land on it. So the moon doesn't spin? That's what we're saying? The moon just floats still up there? I don't know what allay means. So maybe the fact would allay? I don't, yeah. What does that mean?

Come on, college. Relax or alleviate. Maybe the fact that we- Ameliorate, mitigate. Relax some of- Oh, yeah. Okay. So that's what's happening up there? Ease some of Dusty's concerns? Ease. Ease. Okay. So the moon doesn't spin? The moon's just up there rotating? The moon orbits around the earth. Could have said just moves. Okay.

But it doesn't spin on its own axis. So it doesn't, so it goes around. It's just floating then. So we only see the one same, the same side always faces earth. So we only see the earth. So we're not landing on a spinning top, but we leave a spinning, like this is, we. Yeah. That's why when they come back, they just land in the ocean because it's just so hard to like, and you're like, it's like a washing machine. You're just hoping you don't hit something. I mean, amazing to even land in an ocean. Yeah.

Well, it's 70% water, so you got a 70% chance. Yeah. This is the part that really made me laugh in the last episode. Nobody's saying that these were incredibly easy things to do. You know, you're like, yeah, that's pretty impressive. Yeah, that's why the whole world watched it. We were all pretty amazed by it. Yeah. Yeah. It's still amazing to me. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. It blows my mind. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, Gary really lays it down here like he's an astronaut. Yeah. That's the first I've heard about the moon not spinning. I guess I've never noticed it's always the same moon that we're looking at. Yeah. Right. Pretty amazing. Pretty boring. Pretty boring. I'd like to see the other side. Yeah. Seeing that, that's what I say every time I see the moon. Been there, done that. I won't look at it. Someone goes, but take a look at it. I go, for what? Yeah.

See the same dead gum crater? That stupid crater, that same crater that's up there? Wasting my time.

Dusty mentioned gas prices, and now I'm realizing he was referring to February 2022 gas prices and not March 2022 prices. I wonder what his conspiracy take is on the gas increase. I don't know. What did I say about gas before? I don't know, but it probably was pretty conspiracy. Well, if there was no dinosaurs, where did the gas? That's true. Well, that's what I always say, too. I do not believe that our oil is old.

dinosaur is that what fossil fuels is yeah is it

Yeah, it's all dinosaurs. That's what they say. It's all dinosaurs. I was just here. They call it fossil fuels. I thought we just agreed to just make up a name. It's coming from the dinosaur bones? Yes. Dinosaur bones makes gas. Some of the dinosaurs turned into oil. Some we found and rebuilt at a museum. Wait, is this true? Yeah. Is that what fossil fuels is? Should we be using the museums for gas? Yeah, why not? Is that why we can't find some... They're finding apparently a lot of...

The dinosaur bones were going. Fossil fuels are made from decomposing plants and animals. These fuels are found in the earth's crust and contain carbon and hydrogen, which can be burned for energy. So if you're for hunting, you should just be like, you should be for it and then leave the deer out there because you need to fill up your Honda Civic. Because millions of years from now, that'll be fuel for somebody. Why would we research how to speed that up? Yeah. So when you get buried, you should just be like, no casket.

I want to become fuel. If you're really green, I want to become fuel. And they go, that's going to be a long time from now. I'll wait. I have the time. So just dump me in there.

That's a good point. That's a really good point. Maybe we should be going to the cemeteries and then extracting all the people. God rest their souls. I want to respect the podcast. But just taking them all and filling up our tanks. I think that's a great idea. Especially with this gas. We should be, what do they say? Gas dependent. I don't know. Energy independence? Energy independence. Right. Yeah.

Not gas dependent. I don't know if there's a conspiracy. They're just charging more now. Yeah, yeah. And they go, we can't control it. Well, because we're running out of dinosaurs. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

So maybe don't do any more museums because we actually need the gas. Maybe that's the, I mean, now I'm anti-museum. Yeah. How much fuel you're wasting. I keep bringing people in, yeah. Yeah, how much dead gum fuel you're wasting just so I can go look at a Tyrannosaurus Rex nose. There's going to be no way to get to the museums, right? Yeah. And how did those bones, I guess we'll walk. How did those bones escape that? Escape the idea of becoming fuel?

Well, someone grabbed it before it turned into fuel. Yeah. It's like glass. So like why did that one? Yeah. Why did that one not get there? Because it was probably close. Yeah. But it was, we got it. We got it just in time. Got it just in time.

It does seem funny to me, like, say you're a scientist and you eventually just, they go, where are we getting fuel from? Probably just dead dinosaurs. And they say it like a lot smarter. But that's what, like, that's why they create smart, that's why there's smart words. So you don't sound like you're going, just dead dinosaurs, dead chickens and stuff like that. Like, because that's what you're kind of saying. And then you're, you know, that tree died. So like, you know, oh.

If you use smart language, it sounds less ridiculous for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, yeah, yeah. This tree, you know, the tree in the backyard, it's been gone forever, so I can now go to Publix. David Hopkins.

I'm a pilot in Denver and wanted to clear up a few things about the conspiracies at the Denver airport. Lucifer is the name of the locals gave the statue after seeing how evil it looks. Most people hate the statue and have petitioned to take it down. One of the biggest reasons people have thought Nazi ideas have been connected to the airport is because their runway layout is in the form of a swastika.

In reality, it's just a really efficient runway layout that allows for more takeoffs and landings. Spoken like a true Nazi. Right, right.

That's how they always debunk a conspiracy. They're like, yeah, it looks like a swastika, but this works best for us, you guys. That makes sense. I don't know. I mean, obviously I see it because I'm told that there's a swastika there, but I don't know if I look at that from the sky and think that's a swastika. No, you're just looking at the conspiracy idea of it. It's because you got blues for it. You can probably turn anything into it if you really want to. But how less efficient would it be to just put those four runways just side by side? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, but someone's got to cross it. So the people can't just be all coming in the same way. So they got to come like different ways. Yeah. Yes, you're right. I personally think the Star of David is a better design for runways. David Hopkins. I'm talking to you, David Hopkins. Try that one. Yeah. Try that one on your heart.

And I don't even think we brought up anything Nazi on the last one. David Hopkins really brought in his own conspiracy here. I'm sure we did. He starts off pretty arrogant. He starts off pretty arrogant. I'm a pilot. I'm a pilot. You don't know anything. I'm a pilot. At Denver. It's like, you know what, David? Calm down. I know how to fly a plane so I can debunk all conspiracies. Right. Yeah.

Well, he's up there. Yeah. You know? Yeah. What if he wants to talk to you about the round of the earth? Yeah. Because he sees it every day. I guess he does. He's up there and he sees the curve. You actually don't go high enough in a commercial airline to see the curvature of the earth. Well, I'll listen to David and not Aaron, who's only seen...

The sky from the back of the plane. I wonder if David is flying the plane in and he has to make an announcement to the Jewish passengers that they have to land on a Nazi. He goes, everybody, can we shut the blinds? We're about to land. It's just efficient, guys. No other airport's doing it, but it's efficient here. It's just really efficient. Yeah.

I don't know which ad wants to follow that. But this week, so Bates, I think we have Bates. He worked for us. He worked last night, helped us. I was on vacation with Cole, so I know he was doing nothing. No, I think Cole did something. He goes... But we were...

So he looked up all the stuff we're talking about today. What are we talking about? We're talking about fad diets and exercises. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So a big part of this is some of us, you're gardening now, right? Yes. That was a big part of it. Yeah. And then, Mike, you're a weirdo that fasts and sleeps upside down. What else do you do, Mike? I feel like...

I feel that you gave Dusty a lot of credit and then you kind of came after me on mine. You kind of framed it in a derogatory way. Well, yours is you've always been, out of the 18 years or whatever it's been, you've always been on something. Right. Well, I mean, because I have heavy, much like the dinosaurs, big bones. Oh. And dinosaurs. Why don't you go ahead and become fuel? Yeah.

So there are people looking forward to when you, like, you're like, the doctor's got an eye on you. Like, they're like, how's he doing? I'm a tank and a half full. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They go, you're getting us to Ohio. That's a conspiracy theory. These oil companies are trying to get Americans fat.

So that there'll be more fuel when they die. That's great. Millions of years from now. Well, that seems ridiculous. Does that seem ridiculous? I just don't know. Why would you do it for a million years from now? Like, that's so far away. Why would you be like, yeah, let's get them. Because that's their kids' kids and their kids' kids' kids. I mean, that's so many kids removed that, like, there's, if you could ever meet them,

It's like if I could meet my guy from a million years ago, and he goes, you know, I did that for you. And you're like, that's cool. But you'd be like, I don't know if I believe that you're like my guy from a million years. Like, you'd be too disconnected. He's like, no, I'm on your mom's side. You tell me you don't care about Harper's kids, kids, kids, kids, kids. I can only go a little bit. Yeah, when does it stop? Grandkids? And then you're just done? After a while, you're not even related. You do want your... Yeah, you are. I would say, like, if you could change your family for...

I don't know, 100 years. Yeah. Like, if you could be like... I hope our family is... Your legacy of your family name and your family keeps...

making it go higher and higher and higher and we're doing the right thing in 100 years. And then after 100, I'm like, if we get a bad one that crashes down, you're like, man, we have to do it again. Right. A million years, you're still relying on me. Yeah. Get a work ethic. Where have you gone? Yeah. Right. I mean, yeah, that's, you know, if you come from the T-Rex family and you're out there still just...

with your short arms. It's pretty ludicrous, Aaron, that you said that, but using museums as fuel is a great idea. Yes. And I think we need to start doing that. Well, I don't know why we don't do that. I'd like my bones in a museum. That's what I'm all about. I want to donate my bones to a museum. Go to the body museum. Yeah. That's when they did the body exhibit. Oh, where it's a real body and you flip through the pages? It's a great... Is that what happens? Kurt Metzger got a great Kurt Metzger joke where he said...

when they first, because when he first heard about it, he goes, what is it? He goes, it's, oh, it's real people that died and they have that. And he goes, when I first heard about it, I was like, wait, do they catch that guy? That's why he wouldn't go to the body museum. He's like a guy killing all these people. And he says, yeah, I don't know. The rest of the joke, very funny. He goes, I don't, uh, he goes, I don't want to go look at a bunch of people that got killed because they Googled freedom. Like they're, uh,

This is pretty intense looking. Yeah, but it shows you like what they're, you know, so you're like, oh, that's what your muscle looks like. I thought they had a body laid out where it was like cut up and you could flip through. I'm sure they do. Oh, like a book. That's the Alabama Body Museum. Yeah. They go, we have to alter it out every now and again. Uh,

I wonder what the gift shop is like. Here? Yeah. Probably a t-shirt. Yeah, it's a lot of clothing. Yeah. You walk in there and you go, do y'all sell coats here? Like you just feel like you want a coat when you leave? It's like I've seen too much. Leather coats. Everything's sold in layers. What do you want, layers? You go, I would like some layers right now.

But yeah, you've done all the diets. You used to cut weight when you were a wrestler. I was a wrestler. I cut weight. And yeah, now I'm doing intermittent fasting. But I had problems with food growing up because I don't know how you guys were raised in your houses, whereas you have an emotional dependence on food. We had that in my family. Yeah, food line.

Didn't you have the depression? When were you born?

It's the bread line. The bread line. It's not the food line. It's a buffet. We have a food line here right now. So you're confusing a buffet with a bread line. A food lion? Yeah, we have a food lion here right now. Yeah, we have a food lion. Yeah, I'm so dumb. Do you guys take history classes here in your schools? It's a subject called history. Yeah. Well, you just got bread. I made it to the world where there's a food line, and it was a variety of things. Yeah.

So intermittent fasting, I resisted it a long time because when I did wrestle, I had to cut a lot of weight and I hated it. So it's another thing I'm trying though. But my point is when growing up, we had to like, I don't know if you guys had to do this, where it was like, eat everything on your plate. Like we're not wasting food. So eat everything on your plate. And that's a big, that's not a thing now. You know, you just, you don't have to eat everything on your plate. We'll save it for later. But back then that was a lot of the parenting in the 80s.

would seem abusive now. Oh, yeah. It's just like you eat everything on your plate. That's just the way it goes. So it's like, well, I'm full. It's like, well, figure it out because you're not going anywhere. But it's almost finishing something. It almost like trains you to finish something. You think there's a lesson to be learned about just like finishing what you start? I think so. I mean, I don't – they didn't do it – like I don't ever go back and get mad. Like they didn't do it on purpose. They didn't do it like out of hate. They did it for a real reason that they go –

back then, you know, it was like people are starving. Like you have the luxury of having this dinner. So eat the dinner. Don't, it was teaching kids not to be like, you can't, I don't want peas.

peas and then you're like right there's a kid out there that would kill to have these peas right and like respect the fact that that's even here so there's some of that should still be taught i'm not saying you have to jam it all down your throat but like i don't think it's bad to know i like the fact that the what some parents did uh where it's like okay you're not going to eat it now that's your breakfast then you can eat that for breakfast but we're going to get the job done i don't care if it takes 24 hours or more yeah

I remember my dad would frame it as a respect thing for my mom. Yeah. He was like, your mom worked hard to make this meal. You're going to sit here and eat the whole thing. Yeah. And that's how he would frame it. Yeah, that's good. My father would go into a tirade. He would go, you're going to eat the meal. And what do you think this is, a hotel? You think everything is for free here? You think you're just getting everything for free? Yeah. Is that the way you think the world works? The door there. Yeah. He did open a door. Good night. Wow.

I mainly ate cereal. No one was upset with me. I mainly ate cereal. I didn't get a lot of nutrition. We didn't have Magic Spoon. It was an unhealthy cereal. Yeah, we did that too. When you grow up, obviously you guys grew up wealthy. And when you...

When you grow up with no money, it's like you're eating chicken every night, like every night's chicken. Yeah. And then it's cereal. It's whatever. It's the stuff that would be the conspiracy. They market stuff to people that don't have money. It's just whatever. Yeah, a lot of stuff in bags and frozen things. Yeah, sugar. It's just loaded in. I think that's what we're talking about. We eat a lot of Hardee's. Hardee's is a big deal for us.

Yeah, Suggies was great. That's why I don't like – that's why now, like, when I go eat food, like, I can – I just don't – like, I like good food and we go eat at it. But, I mean, it's somewhat – I don't need to go eat at a nice restaurant. It would be wasted on me every time. Like, if I could go sometimes and appreciate it. Right. There's a lot of times you're like, it would just be wasted. Like, I don't appreciate this food like someone, you know, like someone that loves food, like Travis. Yeah.

like Travis, like, you know, they worked in restaurants her whole life. So Travis like loves food. This is so good. So his relationship with food is like way different than mine. Mine's kind of like, you're trying to get the job done. Yeah. A five-star restaurant, get the chicken fingers. I've been that guy before. I've done stuff like that. I'm better at that now. I will actually go and like do something, but I used to, I used to be like that, but I've gotten, I've at least gotten a little bit better with like,

you know, I just steak medium rare. Like it's like, we're very well done with like the way. No ketchup with the steak. That kind of stuff. Yeah. No ketchup. Yeah. You know, you don't get ice in your wine. Right. Uh, what's others. When you get a steak now, but do you send it back a couple of times just to establish dominance with the staff? Yeah. Hey, you got to, we wait till it's at least your, every wine you bring, you just also bring a glass of ice. Cause you know, you know, man, I just going in that, that wine. Uh,

A lot of ranch. Bring a lot of ranch dressing. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of- Just bring the tub out. I waited tables a lot. People are like, can I get a ranch? And it'd be like, a farm or you want a side of ranch dressing? Yeah. They want a lot of ranch. And you bring out a little ramekin and they're like, I'm going to need more than that. Keep them coming.

They give like a little one and you're like, what are we doing here, dude? What do you think we're going to do with this? Like if you go to a buffet restaurant and they have like all the dressings, but like all of them are like small, but then the ranch is like a giant tub. You know what's happening. Yeah. I know. Everybody knows what the bread's buttered. Yeah. Yeah. Did you, so you grew up like cutting weight. So wait, that means y'all have to, what was your weight?

Well, I mean, my senior year, I wrestled in the state tournament at 160. But when I, you know, I played football and wrestled. So my weight for football was about 190. Yeah. And so I wrestled most of the year at 171 pounds. But for the tournaments...

I cut another 11 for- Is it because you want to be bigger? You want to have the least body fat and the most muscle mass to give yourself the best chance. You don't want to be muscled around by somebody because everybody else is cutting down too. So you're basically, when you wrestle, you're trying to fight a weight class below your natural weight.

It depends. If you're a thick, bulky person, you've got to cut more. You're going to have to cut more. But I knew guys in college who were real lean guys and just very naturally close to their weight. They just didn't have much to cut. Man. It just depends on your body type. Did you do the wrapping a trash bag around your stomach and running and all that kind of stuff? Yeah, I did all that. But in high school, you're forced to cut it slower.

Because in the right way, because you didn't have access. In college, you had access to a room where you could just go and cut it fast. And it's pretty painful to cut it fast because you're dehydrating yourself, essentially. But you have a lot of water weight. You can cut 10 to 15 pounds of water weight off of your body in a 24-hour period. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. From like a sauna, a place like that? Like a sauna, but the plastic wraps and then –

and just we would seal off the showers and just you would bike in the shower while all the showers were on oh my god when you would go to the mall would you ask your parents to leave you in the car and roll the windows up you're just sitting in the back of the car okay yeah sir there's a kid out there and he goes ah he wants to be out there and he he just sits there just trying to did you win

I won in high school. I started in Ohio and I learned the basics of wrestling in Ohio, then moved to Florida and took some lumps because our program wasn't as good as the one in Ohio. Ohio has great wrestling. And

But my senior year, I did well. I placed in states. But Florida was not good wrestling? Florida was not good wrestling. The South is not. I mean, that's not true. North Carolina is pretty good. It depends. Yeah, Missouri is good. It depends if there's college programs in the state. We watch a lot of WWF. That's why we're like, we're not into that kind of. Right. Once we find out that-

That would have made folk style wrestling, which is what high school wrestling is, more fun. The storylines, grabbing a microphone. Let me tell you something, brother. That would have made it much, much better. I was telling him, I saw Michael Chandler when we were on vacation this week. He was in the pool. And I noticed him. He's a UFC fighter.

great big time fighter. And so I saw him and I was like, you know, like I said, I get excited when I see a UFC guy. So I like talk to him for a second. And, uh, but he, like he knows we talk about Greg Warren a lot. Right. Who's a, uh,

It was a very, very funny comic. And so he's from Missouri. Greg Warren, people don't know, he's an All-American at Missouri. Yeah. Wrestled and his face is on the wall. Greg Warren's the real... He's the real deal. He's unbelievable. I was not. I went to Penn State, which we're third in the country in...

when i was there but i wrestled for a year and i was like okay i'm not i can't do this again this is just i mean it was i was exhausted all the time yeah it was just it's like like a professional sport yeah you know what i mean these guys are training there's olympians there's got you know these guys are training like for the olympics and stuff it's it's yeah it's pretty crazy

Did their, yeah, so like, but he, like the fact that he was like, he was like, oh yeah, Greg's the real. But Greg is, Greg was a great high school wrestler and a great college wrestler. Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever go see Greg? He'll play it. He plays it way down. Plays it way down. He's a very humble guy. He's a very humble guy. But it's like, this dude was the real, real dude. He's got cauliflower ears, I think, right? Doesn't he? I mean, you can tell. Once you know that, you'll see it. Yeah. Looking at him. Yeah.

I did a half a year as a wrestler. Oh. Half a season. Wow. And I was pretty exhausted. Yeah, what happened? Well, the guy in my weight, I didn't cut any weight. And the guy in my weight class was ripped. Yeah, yeah. And he like went second in state. Right. And I had to beat him to get to go to a tournament. Right. And we were friends. Yeah. And he let me win one time. And the coach was like, nah, let's do this again. Yeah. Nah.

I don't know what happened here, but let's try that again. That's really great. Yeah. He had like a regular body. Yeah, I was just a regular dude. I bet he liked wrestling you because it was just a little nicer grab. Yeah, yeah. You know, just a hard grab that's slippery and it's just – it was like a nice like – This is fun. There's something real humbling about getting pinned in an auditorium full of people. I don't think people realize what that's about. They're like, oh, you're a wrestler. It's like, yeah, if you – like –

some guys are just unbelievable and other guys aren't and i was a guy who and i had to work very well you were very good but i had to work very hard to be good yeah but so you take your lumps on most of us take our lumps on the way up yeah and it's just like you're just you're getting pinned in an auditorium full of people who are cheering either for you or against you it's pretty humbling when another guy looking down on you yeah they're looking they're looking down and it's like

There's no, well, he's heavier than, it's like he's the exact same weight. He's the exact same age. It's like there's no advantage. He just physically dominated you and held your shoulders down to a mat against your will. And there's really not a lot of prize to winning, right? Like if you win, like not a lot of people know. Like we just talked about how great Greg Warren was as a wrestler, but no one knows. It's a niche sport. So losing is like.

I wasn't even, I didn't even stand a game. Well, that's where you, the losers would go. I mean, no one's even watching this. The losers really, really play it up. But now it's got to be worse because there's you, there wasn't YouTube. I would have been mortified just getting, just getting destroyed and then it gets put on YouTube. Oh, yeah. And then you get

Five million views. Did you ever have any fights worthy of that? Did you ever get beat up, have play go against somebody? I had a guy lift me. I was at a tournament in college. I went to this Sunshine Games in Florida. And I had a guy, he picked me up in the air and then did that thing where it's like threw a half Nelson in, in the air and pinned me. Wow. Yeah. It's like he was... That would have been on TikTok. Yeah. Absolutely. Because it didn't last 15 seconds.

Wow. So, I mean, and you don't even know what happened. Like you're just, you think like, Oh, it's going good. Then you're like up in the air, then on the floor. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, it's pretty quick. Like a guy gets in that deep on you. It's like, he's much faster than you. And before you can react, you're already like on your back. So is it speed or strength? Like, would you feel like with some people be just like, Oh, this guy's just stronger. Or is it speed or like they're, it's a combination of both, but it's also like, um,

how you handle your butt. Like you could tell somebody real experience, like the guy we were watching last night. You just tell by the way he moves. He's so fluid. Like I was watching some of the guys when I first went to Penn State. They were so fluid. I was like, this just looks like a different sport than what I'm doing. You know what I mean? Like you have so much experience. It's like somebody doing standup for the first time and we've been all doing it for years and years. And they're like, well, how did you? It's like, yeah, this is just years and years. They don't even know how to tell you. They just go. Yeah. Like you're in the air going,

I wore trash bags for this. That's the other thing too. It's like, I said this on another podcast, but I, I never heard it. I never, I never mentally prepared myself the right. Cause what would you do for these tournaments is you would win a high school anyway. And middle school, we would, you would go and weigh in.

and you'd trouble making weight, you'd weigh in, and then you would go to McDonald's, you would have breakfast, and you'd come back and there was a couple hours between the time you ate and the time that you would have to compete. And in those couple of hours, I would be like,

you just cut a bunch of weight and then you just ate. So now you're like satisfied and you're kind of like, what am I doing here? It's like, I just want to sleep now. I don't want to do anything. Whereas the guys who were competitive, who were like great, had mental game would be like, no, no, no, I'm going to tear through somebody. Now I'm ready to go. They would get themselves mentally up and charged.

I was too worried about like, I want to win and I'm tired. It's like, no, you can't have that. You got to be like, all right, now it's time to go. It's like, let me just like cut through this guy. Who's my first guy? I'm going to cut through him. You think those guys are just wired differently? No, I think it's a, I think it's a mental, I think it's a,

you know, regardless of whether you win or lose, you can have the mental ability to be like, no, I'm going to, I worked hard for this and this is how I feel right now, but I'm going to, I'm going to get myself up and I'm going to go take it to this guy. That means they would be wired differently. Like,

like i don't think it's wired it's more of a choice it's a choice it's it's like you can decide to be happy or you could decide to be sad but it's a thing where it's like no i'm gonna decide i cut all this weight i sacrificed all this i'm gonna go i'm gonna go put it on this guy i'm gonna go have some fun but i think that it's there is a mental like there's something that makes you want to go that crazy there's something that's not that's like already your path is chosen

Like almost like you're, they are wired to, I thought of it with like drinking with like, I'd always think like gambling and drink is like a good, like gambling to me is like how most people would drink where they're like, ah, I could do it. I like doing it. It's a fun time. We go do it. I don't need to go do it. If I don't do it for a year, I don't care. Uh, but if we'll go to Vegas, it's like, oh yeah, let's go. Let's I'm excited to do it. And then you're like, that's the point of going. But then I can back off and we're drinking was like, sometimes you would be like, all right, well I would,

I would go out and we drink and I didn't know how to like, once I started, it was like, well, it wasn't going to stop. I was, we'll just keep going until it was not like I could go. And so my relationship with those two things are completely different. And I always think about that with,

Because it's like, oh, with gambling, it's like, oh, I don't have a problem with that. I don't think I'll ever have a problem with gambling because I don't care that much about it. And I was like, but that's why I did. So you're like, I guess you're wired differently to be like, oh, I don't know how to back off of stuff. It's either I'm going to do it or not do it.

Like, does that make any sense? It does. But I think that what you're talking about is like you're getting more into like an addiction thing where it's like I'm addicted to this feeling instead of like mental –

Like I committed to this thing and now it's going to, this thing is going to happen. You know, it's going to, it's scheduled to happen and it's going to happen. Now, what kind of mindset am I going to take into this thing? I took a mindset in where it's like, I want to win. I'm going to go out there. And it's like, I was cautious. I was defensive. It's like, that's not the right way to go out there. If I had to do it over again, the right way to go out there is like, I'm going to let it go. Like the way you do, like, I'm going to go out there and just let it go. Well, it's like the war. I trained for this.

It's like... The want is a little different. You see these UFC guys and you think they get someone in an arm bar and you're like, you might break their arm. And they're fine with breaking that person's arm. Where most people are like, I'm not going to... I can't... I don't want to feel your...

And they are like, I want to feel it. So if you don't want to tap, I will just break it in front of everybody. And like that want to like, there's something that's like that makes that person like that's all they think about. Think about with comedy, like with comedy, with wrestling was like, it seems like you have the want and the talent and everything to get to basically the highest level that you can get to. And then, but then there's a separation of going like the way you want comedy is the way those guys want wrestling.

And so you're willing to give up everything for comedy and go down this road and go do the worst of the worst and do all this kind of stuff. And in wrestling, there's at least maybe a voice in the back of your head that's like, I mean, what are we doing here? At least some hesitation. So that's why I think you have the wiring to be that. But I don't know if it's for wrestling. But for wrestling, let's just take wrestling. I didn't know that that mental...

I didn't know that that existed. I didn't know that that I wasn't aware of it. It's like, Oh, this is, you prepared yourself physically for this, but it's like, you didn't prepare yourself mentally for what's going to happen out there. So it's like, there's a way that there was a way to do that. And I, and if you want to be successful, you'll subscribe to that way to do it. Yeah.

But I wasn't even aware that there's a way to do it. I wasn't. Yeah, I agree with that. Like, I wasn't aware to. I wish I was. That's the always thing about back in high school. Like, I wish I would have been more aware. I'm always amazed when I hear kids. Like, they talk about their plans and where they're going to go to college. And I'm like, I wasn't even. I was just. I was day by day. I went to school that day. I went home. And then the next day I went to school. Like, I never thought forward. Right. And so I never did that.

And then it wasn't until comedy that I was like, oh, and I like grasped onto this thing that I was like, well, I will. I became obsessive about it.

over it and so maybe it's like that's what you got to do you got to find your thing that's obsessive whether it's wrestling it doesn't have to be a entertainment aspect to it or something it can be whatever it's your business or it's I mean it could be marketing it could be but I want my own marketing like it's the obsessiveness of being like I want to be you got to find whatever can make you whatever like when you're no matter what you're doing you're always thinking about it

And you're always like, you know, you don't, if you turn your brain off and be like, oh, I clock out, I'm done working. Like that's when you're a pesticide job, you're like, you don't care. Like you're, you can, you're ready to go. So it's like, you got to almost like see, well, what's your thing that's going to be like, I'll do this for the rest of my life. I'll do it for free. Right. And you don't want to do it for free, but yeah.

when you have the mindset of doing something like these wrestlers would be like you know they're just wrestle a dude in this parking lot like they just have to do it right but there's something to be said for like you know you're committed to comedy but there's that you know we've all done late night sets so it's a good example like a late night set is what oh it's coming it's coming I've done the CW it's coming yeah he's done he's done TV sets you know CW known for comedy go ahead uh

But it's like we're all committed to comedy, you know. But when you have that thing where it's like, you know, a late night set, it's like a pressure buildup. Yeah. So it's like, okay, I have to break this down and mentally prepare myself to go out there and be loose and have a good – that's kind of like what a wrestling match is. And we all have to go through those steps and there's like –

When you're waiting to go on, there's waves of anxiety that come over you. And it's like, should I even be here? It's like, what, do I even remember my set? What, you know, there's a doubt that creeps in and all this stuff. So that's, you know,

But now we all have a way to mentally – it's still tough. It's still difficult. But we have a mental – Yeah, a way to prepare for that. Yeah, yeah. And competing in sports, it's kind of like that too. But I just didn't – I didn't have it. I think the payoff too though. With late night, like you know what the payoff is going to be at least to some degree if it goes well. But with wrestling, again, I'm like –

what is the payoff if you win, you know? Well, it feels crushed a man's family name. That's really kind of what it is. It's not crushing, but it's like, look, I trained. You watched a man's father cry. Right.

I trained for this. You put such sacrifice into it. Wrestling is a huge sacrifice. Very few guys actually love the process. You know what I mean? It's a brutal process. But winning is – and I played football. I loved football. But winning in an individual sport like that, it's exhilarating.

It's like doing good in comedy. You're like, I'm alone. Right. Like there's a, there's an awesomeness to it. That's like, dude, I'm by myself with this. Yeah. No one's, you know, here. Right. It's great. Right. There, uh, I get that mind, the mindset of, I was, uh,

What's the thing about, like, I think I've never like thought too far ahead. I think when you're becoming obsessed with something too, it's about like, they're only like, I would think the wrestlers, and I think it was stand up is like, you're only thinking about that fight.

And like, so you're only like, that's what you see what happens with football teams where they lose or in March Madness, they lose because they, they kind of look past someone. And it's like, that's the part of a mental aspect is like really being like, do the thing that you're doing at that moment. Don't worry about what it's going to become and lead. If you don't do this, it will not become this.

And so that's a constant reminder. That's something that we talked about earlier about working on is like being the moment, like try to, when you're telling jokes on stage, really be in the moment. You're like, nothing will come good if this does not go good. I can dream all day. I have 23 hours of a day to dream. And when I have one hour of that stage, that needs to be, because those dreams have no chance if I don't deliver for that one hour. And you've got to train yourself to like,

do that, you know? You put yourself in a mental state to be effective there. And I never, it's like, I think a quarterback is amazing because it's like, they can't be concerned about the last play. It's like the last play was a disaster. It's like, I got to forget about it and just become a different guy now. And I got to be aware of that. I go, I want to win the Superbowl. It's like,

like the Patriots Falcons, like that's the most amazing thing I've ever seen pretty much sports. Like them just like little by little, like just taking each situation and just like, if there was a bad play, just forget about it. I mean, there was, they were down 28, nothing or whatever it was. It's just like taking it one step, one step at a time, one step at a time, bad play, forget about it. It's like, what's the down and distance? Like,

It's the definition of being in the present moment, basically. If you're in the present moment in anything, you've got a leg above, unless the other guy's also in the present moment, then he's better.

But just being in the moment is your – because your focus is there, and so much people's focus is your mind's a million different areas. And if you can train your mind to get in that moment, I mean, you're going to be pretty great at what you're doing because you're only thinking about that. That is a great – Tom Brady and them coming back like that. It's like that's – you could tell the Falcons –

you're borderline like, yo, dude, we're going to, like, we might win by 50.

And then so they – even that kind of dreamy kind of like you're half like – and then they get to go and go. This is – the only thing that matters is today. Who cares about where this is going to lead, whatever. It doesn't matter. None of this stuff happens whether you do – all that matters is right at this point. What's the down and distance? Getting that down – like just get this. This is what – we got this one play. What if this one play is great? Let's try to make it great. And then it's like – but that is –

draining to do that and so like that's a gigantic like training to just mentally you know just to keep pulling yourself back into the moment right i mean yeah and that's why new jokes are more exciting than old jokes too even if the old joke is great you get into that muscle memory of just oh i know how this goes but i know a new joke you're like discovering

Right. So if you hit a new line that you haven't told before and it pops, you're like, oh, this is exciting. Right. But you know all the laughs of an old joke. Right.

But I try to sometimes change up even little words, words that don't really matter in a joke, like the ands, the these, or the rhythms. It's like sometimes those change a little bit in my jokes, and that's to kind of give you that. Oh, yeah. Like just so even when I'm telling an older joke, I kind of say it like it's a little different. It's not – the main points are all there. I don't know if a person saw both would even think they're different.

But to me in my head, it's like, well, the other day I went over, like I might say, I usually would say like, oh, I went to the mall. And then I say, well, the other day I went to the mall. And like, it's that simple of a thing. But it's like, because I set it up with that rhythm, well, now it's all kind of like, you're kind of off balance because you're like, it's not, I'm just not stuck in the same, you know? And so you just change it up a little bit like that to kind of keep you,

like, you know, refocused and be in the moment. That's a good idea. But because the rhythm of success gets addictive. If you're like, oh, this rhythm, I know it works. I know what reaction it gets. And it's the best reaction. So let me keep this rhythm. Well, you should go, well, how do I make it better? It's like, but then it's like, I figured it out for that, for those words that success worked. That doesn't mean it works for the next success.

So then the new words that come, the new jokes, you're like, well, now I've got to build a whole new, it's like, everything's got to keep like, and you got to keep that mindset. And that's when comics get stuck and they do the same act for 50 years is because they go, yeah, it works. And it still does work and you get laughs, but like, there's just, it's always just, you built it up to this high level and,

and then you just ride it out and it's like, it just didn't know, you know, people come less and less to see you and you have a good life and you do stuff, but you don't, you just, you never make it to the,

I don't know where they wanted to make it. And you quit working on writing jokes. So you forget how to write jokes. Yeah. So when you start to write a joke again, you're like back at an open mic level trying to write a joke. You can regress probably. Oh, yeah. Well, it's about being funny, you being funny. You got to learn the years it takes to learn for you to be funny, what makes you funny. The jokes can be funny, but you can be unlikable. You can be a lot of things.

And what is you, what is, what is funny about you when people watch you? What are they like? God, this guy's just anything he says, I think is funny. You're like, that's what takes a long time to figure out what that is. And I don't even know if there's an answer. Like you just go, I don't know, man. It's like, whatever it is, it is. It's hard to describe, but,

But it's, you know, it's, I'm not saying about me, but I'm saying like, I could, I don't, there's not like a trick that you go like, well, it's this little thing. I think there's no trick. I think you've become really good at something and you try to explain it back to someone. They're going to be like, I don't, I don't really know how to get exactly. I'll tell you what I think about, but I don't know. There's not a, there's not a map, dude. Like you got to go do it on your own. Yeah. It's all about stage time.

I mean, just the more you're up there, the more you're like in the... And then weird situations. I find that I get better if I do worse clubs where people yell at me and I'm like, I'm stronger now because that lady laughed at all the weird times.

And I couldn't make her stop laughing because, well, she is laughing. That just happened to me. A lady would just laugh at setups, but so loud. And I'm like, I'm glad that you're having a good time, but I wish you'd like laugh in the right places. Make me earn it a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Or would you get those crowds a lot of times that you have to like win over? You know what I mean? It's like they're on the, they're, they're not really there to, to,

to see me. So it's like, and they're just kind of like in that phase, it's like, he got a con and you're, and you're losing, like you're losing. And I used to get angry at them, but now it's like kind of a thing. It's like, all right, this is already is what it is. So why not have some fun with it? Cause I find if I'm having fun, it's hard for them not to have fun. Right. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like, let me in, in, in the easy thing to do. And when I was younger comic, I did it. And probably a lot of people,

In that situation is to go to the crowd and do crowd work and have them pull you off what you're trying to do. But the right thing to do is to stay the course and stay with your material and bring them into it. Slowly claw and bring them into it instead of just giving up the ship and going, I just don't want to bomb. It's like, no, no, no, no. Stay the course and just keep coming at them with your jokes in a playful, loose way and bring them into what you're doing. Yep.

So fad, diets, and Exosun. We got all. It's all related. It's all related. We're talking about discipline and focus and trying to improve yourself. So we've got kind of a, you want to just do like a run through of just the years of different stuff. 1925, the Lucky Strike cigarette brand launches the Reach for a Lucky instead of a Sweet campaign. Ooh.

They were trying to get people to move to nicotine instead of an unhealthy snack. Their slogan, reach for a lucky instead of a sweet. The ads were designed to prey on female insecurities about weight and diet and helped usher in a wave of tobacco marketing targeted towards women.

Probably worked. I will say that I read some of these last night and that's my favorite one. Yeah. I mean, I'm all about that. Let's smoke instead of eat. Yeah. I mean, I would imagine that work. That's what people quit smoking. They get fat. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like, yeah, you're just constantly got, you're doing something. So you're just like, it kind of keeps your appetite. I mean,

Besides the unhealthiness of smoking, you're like, I mean, it's true. I mean, I've been there. I've been there with that. You're just smoking. You're like, you don't even want to eat. You're like, I'm drinking. I got a good buzz going. I'm smoking a lot of cigarettes. It's like, we'll eat before we pass out. Yeah. Yeah, you probably – I would do this where I just kind of build these little incentive programs with myself instead of like, if I don't get McDonald's on the way home, then I'll –

treat myself in this other way yeah it probably i would have to set up little roadblocks like that for myself reward system yeah yeah what would your reward if you don't get mcdonald's you're ice cream at home uh no no no it wouldn't even be it wouldn't even be food it would be something totally different smoking two cigarettes i don't get mcdonald's i'm allowing myself to smoke inside yeah yeah

I'm going to stay up a little later tonight. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay. So that's 1925. A few years later, the grapefruit diet comes out, which I know. I know from the Weird Al song, Grapefruit Diet. I didn't know this was a real diet. It's also called the Hollywood Diet. You just eat a grapefruit with every meal, apparently. Have y'all heard of this? No. So you eat whatever you want and then also eat a grapefruit? That's the way Brian wrote this out. Wow. Wow.

My wife described herself as a grapefruit the other day. She said that, you know, I'm like a grapefruit. It's a real hard exterior. You got to get in there. And then once you get in there, there's another tough layer to peel out. And then when you finally get to the fruit, it's bitter and sour. Yeah.

And you're like, I even like this. That's a tough sell. But you always wonder about it. So you keep coming back. You're always like, huh, something pulls you to it. The 1963 Weight Watchers is founded by Gene Nidecht.

A self-described overweight housewife obsessed with cookies started Weight Watchers. Still around. Still pretty active. Oh, well, that's good. Yeah, Weight Watchers is the key. That's the big one. That's the points. And the Weight Watchers is directly at odds with the Girl Scouts, oddly enough. What? Because the Girl Scouts are trying to give you cookies and Weight Watchers. So that's like...

I mean, yeah. I mean, on board for the joke. No, the bad ones, I think need explaining, but it's, so they're, uh, no, I'd like to see that they both come knock on your door and they're both, they just spoke, turn down the driveway together. And they're like, and you're like, Hey, you know who wants to go first? You're like, it's hard. It's tough to follow. You know, I imagine I'd let the Girl Scouts go first. I'm like, I don't want to, you know, maybe it's tough to follow, but you'd like, at least I got an angle.

Right. I don't know if Weight Watchers goes door-to-door like Jehovah's Witness, just looking for fat people in neighborhoods. They might. There you go. They go, Bert, they see you. Saw you out in the yard earlier. You can drop a couple. How you doing? Nate Bargetzi, Weight Watchers. Saw you had a tough time getting over those two steps, and I thought...

We're talking about watching that weight a little bit. Like that would be so funny to see weight watchers. They have to go, why are you picking me? They just go by. Yeah. They just look at the outside, what your house looks like, you know. Got a lot of stuff in the yard. You got a flag hanging. Yeah. Like an Alabama flag. They're like, they got this.

They just bang on their door. Didn't even see them. Roll Tide anywhere. Roll Tide anywhere. They're not going to go, hello. They go, exactly. See what I mean? That's what you, if you ever have, we watch this coming, they go, see what I'm talking about? And you're like, what does that mean? You're like, they had, he goes, look at this family, you know, see a van parked out front. Mm-hmm.

A minivan. A minivan. And then they go, I don't know, should we knock on the door? It could be a mom. He goes, no, no, it's a guy that lives alone. It's Aaron. They go. Tires are a little flat. A little flat. He enters only through the sliding door. He goes to the front like it's a cockpit. Yeah.

And they go, oh, wow. I forgot they made that joke that I need to enter my minivan from the slide doors. I think about that all the time. You should do it all the time. As you walk to it, it opens and you just walk in, go sit like a cock. I would make your front doors not even be able to open. Yeah, barricade them shut. Yeah. That'd be one way to do it.

1977 Slim Fast comes out. Have I heard of this? A shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch, then a sensible dinner becomes a diet. You've not heard of Slim Fast? I have heard of Slim Fast. Oh, okay. I thought you said you had not. Yeah, it's like a shake for...

lunch dinner i mean it's like it's like all the all the diets are just like yeah dude just don't eat like a lunatic yeah eat less i mean but for part of your diet to be then a sensible dinner is like well that's going to go off the rails pretty quick like yeah what if we just did sensible yeah all meals i would say do a sensible breakfast and then do your lunch and dinner that's what i i think you got to be look you can wake up and be a lunatic

If you're going to do a diet, but then you got to – then from there – Yeah, I mean, that's what they say, but the problem with eating a huge breakfast is that your energy dips then and you're inefficient the rest of the day. So it doesn't really help if you eat a huge breakfast and then you're like, I'm just going to take a nap. Yeah, but then you drink the shake. But how are you feeling? Are you going to be efficient with your day after a big breakfast?

Yeah, I mean, I think, you know, you're going to be, I mean, I guess, you know. All right, Mike. Sorry. From the Slim Fast fan. Mike Slim Fast. Yeah, I didn't know you were going to be nonsensical about it. In the 80s, John Reap talked about this when he was on the episode. A popular appetite suppressing candy called AIDS.

Was this A-Y-D-S. Yeah. Was taken off the market. Right before. Yeah. As soon as the AIDS crisis hit, they took it off the shelves. And it got hurt. God, what are the odds? And then first aid was like, they're like, are y'all going to go too? No, no, we're still good. We're here first. We didn't rely on it. First is in the name, you know. It's like, we got so much stuff in there.

But why did y'all just go with the name AIDS? Why did they call AIDS AIDS? Autoimmune Deficiency. It's an acronym. Yeah. That's tough. And they're like, we're not even using the I. You know, they had to talk about it. He goes, what's a Y? And they go, but it's...

It's just not. It's pronounced the same. It's pronounced the same. You want to lose weight? Get AIDS. Yeah, they go, I mean, no slogan works. Like, no, yeah, nothing works at all. AIDS, the better one. The better one, yeah. The better AIDS. That works.

Especially because the other aids, you lose weight as well, right? Yeah. It kind of has the same effect. 1982, the aerobics craze starts kicking to high gear. Jane Fonda launches her first exercise workout called Workout Starring Jane Fonda. Her catchphrase, no pain, no gain. Yeah. She started that?

That's what this says, according to this. I love that aerobics is a fat. That's working out, right? Yeah. It's like moving your body. Well, I think it's probably watching this kind of thing. Yeah, but there's a scene in your head when you hear aerobics, right? Of just a bunch of, you know, they're an outfit. If you basically do anything, you will lose weight. That's all, like all this stuff is like, that's why this stuff,

kind of can keep going because you're like, yeah, just do something and then it's, you're going to lose weight. But it's hard to, but you want, mentally you want to like, it's easier to wrap your head around

like a specific way. Like it's just, that's what you think. You go, well, if you give me some way to do it and then, Oh yeah. It's a goal almost, you know, my mom used to watch a lady named like Susan powers or something like that. You remember that? Yeah. Susan powers. What did she do? Just dance. Yeah. You don't remember her. That's not her.

I don't think it's Susan Powers. It's Susan... Powders, maybe. No, no, no. Do weight loss. Okay, here she is. Okay. But that's not... A little bit... I don't even remember. She's got short blonde hair. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I thought she looks like... Maybe I'm thinking of someone else. All right. Is there another Susan blonde hair that was famous? Maybe she was in... Sarandon? All right.

But as long as we're on this, I just want to point a reference that when you did it in your Netflix half hour that we stayed next to Richard Simmons. Yes.

And he's, I think there's a whole thing where they think his maid is keeping him inside. Yeah. Still. And he's trying to get out. Oh. But she's like keeping him something inside. But he said every once in a while when these allegations reach a boiling point, he'll pop out and go, I'm fine and I'm doing this willingly.

And then he'll go back in. Yeah. I've been following the story. What do you think? Do you believe him? That house, since we stayed in that house, I've been following the story. Do you believe him? Do you think he's okay? No, I think he's under some kind of a spell. Yeah. Yeah. He probably burns a lot of calories. Yeah, that is crazy. What's he doing?

He's still alive. And he's still, like I said, he'll pop out once in a while and go, I'm fine. There's no problem here. But it's like somebody, I don't know if it's the house. I don't know if somebody has control over his finances. Where is the free Richard Simmons campaign? Yeah. You don't, that didn't get free. I mean, we freed Brittany. Yeah. We freed Brittany. Let's free Richard. Let's free Richard now. He did. Yeah, it was a,

When we taped the stand-ups. Yeah. And then so it was me, Vecchione, Soder. We all just did like an Airbnb and it was like this awesome house. And then...

someone else might have been there like but it's there but then travis came by but then we were like then uh but rich simmons i mean the house next door right the house next door to us and we so we just and it was right when all this was going like it started now people don't talk about it that much now but it was on the cover of people magazine yeah yeah yeah so it's a big story we never saw never came out wow

Yeah. Well, very few guys are that famous, that in your face, and then they just stop. Yeah. Right? So I think that's probably why people are... Yeah, yeah. 83 after the Jane Fonda ride and that crazy jazzercise. I don't know a whole lot about jazzercise. I mean, I guess it's... I remember the name. Yeah. Do you know a lot about jazzercise? I don't know much about it, but the name was pretty... It was a...

a big thing. Yeah. Jazzercise. I feel like that's a word used in jokes a lot, I feel like. Jazzercise. It's a good punchline word. What are you doing, jazzercise? Yeah, or something. Yeah. In 1991, Americans start to go low-fat. There's a little bit of a craze right there. McDonald's comes out with the McLean Deluxe Burger. I remember that. Anybody remember the McLean? Yeah, I do. Yeah, I remember it. I don't remember the McLean.

Yeah, I remember it. I don't know. I can't tell if I ever, I don't remember if I ever had it like I was younger, so I don't know if I would have ever ate it. I will say it looks disgusting. Yeah, 91% fat free. Yeah. Give me a big juicy burger with lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mustard, pickles, and onions. Hold the fat. Hold the fat. Yep. They've always had great advertising at McDonald's. Yeah, man, they're just the best. The McLean. McLean.

1992, the Atkins diet comes out. Yes. Now we're talking. Now you're a big Atkins guy. I did it for a while, and it really worked. It really worked. But then you'll start overeating on that, and then it's a disaster.

Oh, really? Yeah. You start like going, I can have some rice here. I can have a thing here. And it's like, I just, you'll start over. I started overeating on that. I just don't know if that's sustainable long-term, but it did help me lose weight. And everybody I've talked to is like, yeah, that's, it's just meat, meat and vegetables basically. Yeah. And no carbs. Oh, I remember that. Yeah. Yeah.

So it does initially, but then if you cheat on it. Yeah, everybody loses weight. And then the moment they go back to bread, they like blow up. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. Are a lot of these designed to be sustainable in the way you're just saying? Or are a lot of them, this will just get you down to a certain weight? You think somebody is just like, I'm going to do the Akinzite the rest of my life. I'm just going to. Yeah, I don't know. I started thinking long term. I was like, people are like, you can't do this forever. Yeah. It's like, I don't think you can.

I don't think you can realistically. You're doing intermittent fasting right now? Intermittent fasting is good because it's like there's some pain in it. It's like, okay, you're overweight or you don't – okay, you got to stop.

You got to stop eating. You know what I mean? Like just do one meal. But you're not going to do intermittent fasting for the rest of your life, you don't think? I'll do it if – it's a good thing to do if you're like, oh, it's getting away from me. It's like getting – like my weight is starting to get away from me. And it's like, oh, I know how to do this now. But there is a little bit of suffering involved in it. Yeah, there's also a mindless – that's where Aaron did. Yeah.

It's like almost kind of a mindless way to do it, which is good. It's like he'll eat when he goes and eats with us. He'll either be not eating at the table or he'll go eat with us and eats a normal – like he eats with us. You'll be like, oh, what's your special? I'll try that. And so you're getting to do a mix of both. You just have a feeding window as we call it. It's crazy to think that it wasn't until 1994 –

that the Guide to Nutrition Labeling and Education Act required food companies to put nutritional info in all their packaging. Before 1994, you didn't have to do that, evidently. It was just the back was empty. You put whatever you want on there. Jokes or something. Crossword puzzle or something. Cartoons. Yeah, the back of the cereal box used to have a lot of fun things. Before a phone, I would eat cereal and just... You watch it. Or you read the back. Yeah, for...

Oh, that was the best. I hope kids still do that. I think they still have some stuff on the back. There's still stuff on the back. Yeah, there's not much better than that. Like getting to eat cereal and just read the back of a cereal box. What was your cereal? It's working the brain. Huh? What was it? I don't even remember. Honey Nut Cheerios, I think, was probably the most. Did the bee get you? No. Sucky Hen or Flavor? Yeah. No.

We loved it though. Yeah. I think we ate it the most. My dad used to make me have to throw it away in the toilet. And, uh, I remember that was, that would make me, that almost got me off cereal. I couldn't eat. I would almost throw up every time. Why did you have to throw it in the toilet? I don't know. Uh,

No one ever really asked him. No one ever really got to the bottom of it. Like if you didn't finish it off? If you didn't finish it off. Oh, yeah. Because you couldn't throw it in. We didn't have a garbage disposal. Oh, yeah. So it would go throw it in the toilet and then flush it. But I would almost – I would not eat cereal because I would vomit. Like the idea of seeing cereal go into the toilet and flush it, I was like – Oh, with the milk and everything too? Oh, my God. Is that Tennessee potty training? What about –

What about the toy? Would you dig right in for it or save it until it fell out on the bowl? You would always say you should save it, but I'd always dig in. I would save it. Really? I would save it. Dusty, what was your- Y'all wouldn't have Christmas. Yeah, a little bit at a time. Dusty, what was your cereal? I ate so many. Can I guess?

Yeah. Super sugar crisp. You look like a super sugar crisp guy. I love sugar crisp. Yeah. I do love sugar crisp. Golden crisp. Yeah. Was another one. Yeah. It was the frog. Yeah. I like the frog. The smacks. Smack them. Smacks. Yeah. Yeah. Sugar smacks. Super sugar smacks. Frosted flakes. That's what it was called. Frosted flakes too. Frosted flakes. Frosted flakes was the worst to pour in the toilet because it gets soggy. Oh yeah. Oh.

Would you not flush it right away or would you? You would, but just the, even the two seconds of, I mean, I only did cereal based on what I had to flush down the, like what was the easiest to flush down the toilet was that's how I chose my cereal. I threw up corn pops one time. You remember that cereal? I made like a corn pop pie the way that I just ate it and then threw it up and it just kind of made a nice little corn pop pie. I'm a big Honey Nut Cheerios fan. Uh,

I love Frosted Flakes. You have a window of about a minute, a minute and a half to eat them all for them to be good. They get super soggy fast. But man, when they're crispy, Frosted Flakes are unreal. I like a little bit of, a little bit of sogginess. I don't know. I mean, I like, Frosted Many Weights. Cereal is just, yeah, cereal is, I don't know.

Those are bales. I like to crunch up a few at the bottom just so you're upset. Those are, yeah, it's like eating hay. Yeah. What about Captain Crunch? Nobody supports that. Yeah, I like Captain Crunch. I like peanut butter. Peanut butter Captain Crunch. Peanut butter Captain Crunch. Yeah. We would get the big...

Malto meal, those big bags where we had always made us laugh where the name was slightly different. Yeah. Like instead of Cocoa Krispies, we used to always have Cocoa Dino Bites. Yeah. And that was the cereal, dude. And we'd just tear through those bags. Yeah. Every morning. Yeah. Cereal's great. It's awesome, man. It's a great invention. I,

Yeah, I ate so much cereal. We never did the bags. That's why we probably lived in a trailer. We spent too much on cereal. You know, we were never a big bag people either. We would do name brand, which was nice. My parents did a great job of that because people talk about bags. You're like, I mean, that's the worst. Yeah, when you have money, you don't mind looking poor. When you're poor, you're like, no, no, no, we'll do name brands. Yeah.

We do no bands. Just for cereal. Yeah. We're Bugle Boys, but we're eating Jell-O. I think we drank RC, but our cereal was, you know, we display our cereal and put it out on the mantel. Let people know we get it.

You know, I just. Yeah, I mean, it goes on the fridge. It's not in there. It's on. Yeah, you lay it out and go like, yeah, we're doing all right. You know, it comes in. Instead of books on a bookshelf, you just got all this. Yeah, the name brand, Fruit Loops, Lucky Charms. You go, yeah, we're doing all right. We like to, you know, bounce around. Honeycombs. Count Chocula.

Frankenberry. I never got into the chocolate. No. Really? Cocoa Puffs. Too scary for you? Yeah. Cocoa Puffs. He believes in Dracula too much. 2001, Dr. Lauren Cordain wrote the book called The Paleo Diet.

Claiming that by eating like our prehistoric ancestors, we'll be leaner and less likely to get diabetes, heart disease, cancer, and other health problems. Yeah, you die at 30, but... Yeah.

No, it definitely would if you ate. I mean, I think if you ate, so you're gardening? You're making your own food? Yeah. Well, you know, I'm growing some stuff. What do you got out there? Well, it's new. You know, spring's just hit. So I got some tomatoes, cucumbers that I'm working on. I got peppers, green peppers, yellow peppers, red peppers, jalapenos. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I'm trying to do a herb garden. I got some thyme growing. Okay.

carrots I struggle with but what'd you have thyme you have some thyme yeah growing yeah like the herb oh yeah I didn't know there was an herb called thyme yeah spelled thyme oh you've seen that yeah she'd say thyme they say thyme they tell me it's pronounced thyme I would say I mean I agree with you yeah I agree with you that didn't make sense you have thyme growing I was like

What kind of garden is that? Yeah, what is it? The future? Yeah, like how much experience are you that you're growing time? It's context. I figured out how to make it work. He goes, I'm a time traveler. The herb. The herb. Oh, you're a time traveler. Time traveler. Time traveler.

Yeah. I mean, I, I agree. I mean, I always get tripped up with stuff like the year row. They're always, I'm as, is it a gyro or a G or a year row? It's like, I went to New York city though. One time, my first time ever. And I, I just pointed to it and the guy goes the gyro. And then I'm like, well, it's New York city. He's gotta be right. Yeah. So you can call it a gyro. Yeah. Yeah.

But I'm very insecure about it. Yeah. Maybe my biggest insecurity is the gyros. Well, the bigger insecurity is what kind of meat it actually is. Yeah, well, that's true, too. Lamb, right? They say it's lamb, but who knows? People say a lot of things. We said dinosaurs didn't exist. I've never seen a lamb. I've only seen sheep. Where's the lamb at? Yeah, that's true. Where's the lamb at? Tell me the last time you walked by a lamb. I've never seen a lamb, I don't think.

Where's the lamb? I see full-blown sheep. Yeah. Is lamb baby sheep? I don't know. Who knows? That makes a year-old seem pretty cruel. We've never seen, we don't know where these lambs are. No one ever goes, you know what, I drove by a house of lambs the other day. That is true. You don't hear of a lamb farmer. What's going on with lambs? What are going on with the lambs?

What's the difference between lamb and sheep? Lamb, live sheep before the age of one. Good, nice. A gyro. Wow. So maybe we do need to at least respect the name a little bit, the fact that we're eating this thing pretty quickly. Maybe sheep. Maybe that's why we don't see lamb. You don't have time to see them. I mean, they're... Yeah. They either grow up or we're eating them. I mean, to be a lamb, it's a rough life. You're either born, you're like, all right, you're either going to get eaten or you're going to be a coat. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's it. Those are your two options. And who makes the choice? The shepherd. The shepherd. The shepherd makes the choice. The shepherd makes the choice. Yeah. You are, uh, you all be eaten and they're like, oh, and then they go, you will be coached. Really a much harder person than you think about the shepherd. You got to make that decision. Yeah. You're going to die. You're going to have an embarrassing haircut. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, that's true. Right. You're going to feel cold.

You're going to be like, just walk around winter and you're like, why didn't you do it? It's freezing out here. And he's just a sheep with no fur. And he's just like, you're lucky you're not a sandwich. Yeah. Yeah. He goes, you could have been a sandwich. He goes, I know. I appreciate it that I'm not. But why would you not just cut our hair like in the summer? Like it's cold. Yeah.

Have you seen, this is a picture of a, it's kind of hard to look at. It's a sheep that got lost. Yeah. And they weren't able to shear it for, I think, years. And then it came back. And this is what it looked like. This is why you have to cut because it'll just grow. I mean, that's all just disgusted and hair and wool. That's like a Rastafarian sheep. Oh, then they got it. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it's almost like dreadlock sheep.

So that's why they do it. That's the before and after. Yeah. Yeah. But I said this was 75 pounds of wool that's just carrying around on its back the whole time. So it was probably strong. Maybe. He doesn't look strong in the after picture. I bet he could dunk right when he got it off. Like, just the fact that his calves are jacked after that. Like, he just goes. He runs through, touches the top of the barn door, and they're like, look at you. He goes, like a new man. You know?

He couldn't even see. The hair was just. No, yeah, that will cover up the eyes on that. That's why he got lost? Oh, no. I don't know why. Imagine when you don't have fingers and you can't get your hair out of your face. You just are like, oh, no. And it's such a slow. Every day, just like, here we go. Here, every day you wake up and just go there. There it goes. All right. I guess left side's gone. I was winged through it, you know.

And then they weirdly only walk on sharp sides of mountains. Like sheep are never just, you know, like, hey man, why don't you find a flat area before you can't see? And he's like, ah, because I've been on this mountain for a side of it. It's the steepest mountain. That's what they do, right? Or is it rams? What's a ram? A ram is a similar type of goat. It's like a cousin. Yeah. They would like, would they be at the family reunion? They would show up. They would show up. And it wouldn't be weird.

They might not sit at the same table, but they'll hang out. They're there, yeah. And they're going, how are you doing? Rammer related to sheep? I think which we're saying. Rammer goats. Oh, you're saying, so a ram and a sheep would never be. Dusty said, rams, goats, sheep. I think they're all together. They're all cool with each other. So which one is the weirdest to come? Like if they go to the family reunion, is it like the goats? Oh, if like a caribou shows up, they're like, all right. You're like so little. I know. You're a little distant. Yeah.

You're too far. So like a goat, a ram, and a sheep, they're at the family. I mean, you're like, we're close. I know what the goats are doing. The goats are there eating everything. I feel like caribous are the hot friend.

Oh, yeah. I don't even know what. Is it caribou? Caribous are good. I mean, they do look considerably different. The ram, I mean, it's like the ram's helmet. Yeah. That's where that comes from. A goat just looks like kind of a dumb dog. Rams look like they come from money, and the goat is like, you know, goats like, you're like, hey, did you ever go to McDonald's on the way here? And goats eat everything, so that makes sense. They're like a poor, they're like, no, I will eat it. They are the poor sheep.

Sheep. Yeah. It's the White House before lawnmowers. They used to just throw a bunch of goats out on that front lawn. Yeah, they still do. They do that at Hermes Golf Course. Do they really? Over by my brother's school and Hermes Golf Course. They kind of back up to each other. And so Derek and them will get like, they get sheep like all over there because there's just a herd of

I mean, goats or maybe it's sheep. They do sheep. Or rams. It's ram. Yeah, there you go. No, I think they have sheep, right? And they're just wandering. You go play Hermes Golf Course and there'd be just, I mean, a giant herd of sheep that would just be out there, and they just let them wander. How do they get them to eat it uniformly? Ride them.

And so you get on them, you kick it and go, come on now, get on down here. So they're taking our jobs. Yeah. Yeah. Really what you're saying. Yeah. They are. They are.

We got one more on here. This is the 2003. You've also heard of this. Miami's Dr. Arthur Agatson adds fuel to the low-carb craze by publishing the South Beach Diet, seen as a more moderate version of Atkins. Just a little Diet Atkins.

The sexy version. So you would do the South Beach. You never heard of it, right? Or something? I've heard of all these. They come out and everybody's talking about them. I don't know what the difference between South Beach and Atkins is. It's a G-string and rollerblades. Yeah. What made us cut it off at 2003? I feel like there's been a lot of crazy diets since 2003. Is that it? Well, that's when Bates kind of gets...

gives up on most stuff. 2003 is where Bates kind of tapped out. 2003, that's when he peed. 20 years has passed since then. We've had. 2003 is when Bates should have been having a baby. Now...

That's where that cuts off. Yeah. That's good. A lot of fun stuff. You know who didn't hurt himself? It's Chase, my merch. The guy that sells merch. Which, by the way, we were saying, this is like a, hold on. My voice. I think it's still the same. So we did, so Chase, so people think, a lot of people think Chase is my son.

Like, so if you see, if you go see Chase, if you go see the, the, the, the guy that sells merch, he's 22. I think he's never heard of the South beach diet. I don't like, it's like, he's like so young and, but a lot of people, they think because he, I mean, you look at him, he kind of looks like me. Uh,

which is very hilarious to think that of all the personal stuff I talk about on stage, I just wouldn't talk about my 23-year-old son. I talk about my dad, my parents. I talk about my brother, sister, my wife, my daughter, and I just never mention...

By the way, I have a 23-year-old son that we just kind of keep on the back burner. Wouldn't it be great if he was just telling people that as he sold the merch? Yeah, well, people think it's him. He just fueled the rumor? He just always laughs at the fact that people say that to him. But if you go buy merch, I'm not telling you, look, I'm not forcing anybody to do anything.

If you're buying merch, definitely bring up like, oh, you're Nate's son, right? Like he never talks about. Just say that to him constantly. Even if you don't buy merch, maybe just go by him, say something. We're going to see how long it takes till he will come back to me

Don't say you heard it on the podcast. Don't make it a big deal. Just be like, no, I heard it. There's rumors online. Maybe there's a Reddit. Everybody just said that you're his son that he doesn't talk about. And then just kind of move on about your day. And I want to see when he will eventually go and figure it out. It's becoming more aggressive. It's becoming a problem, honestly. Maybe people take a picture with him. Hashtag Chase Bargatze. Chase Bargatze? Yeah, get it done. Yeah.

Yeah. Chase, Nate's boy. Just yell it. You can yell it as you walk by. Nate's boy. Yeah. Yeah. You know, because there is, it is, it's so funny to think I could have a son and just never. Never brought him up. And out of you're like, what is he talking about? His life. He only talks about his life.

he doesn't talk about his son though. Cause no, he draws the line. He draws the line. He talks about him on the bonus tracks on the bonus track. You guys, by the way, I have a son that's 23 selling merch for me. All right. Well, hopefully we have baby baits by now. We do not know yet, but, uh, we, uh, pray that everybody's safe. Everybody's doing good. Uh, next time you see baits, he will be a father, which is, uh, very fun. Uh, uh,

I'm out on the road. You can go check everything out. Vecchione, everybody's on the road. Vecchione's on the road. Zany's, Nashville, Tennessee. April 19th. April 19th. Come. It's a Vecchione special. You will love it. It's super fun. I promise. I will be there. I get to produce and direct. It'll be my first big four-way, 4A. What is that? 4A.

4A? 4A. 4A. I said four-way. Doing a lot of directing, cutting Mike off during the show. Mike, stop. Damn it, Mike. These are not the lines that I wrote. You go, what are you? You got to... Yeah, yeah, look at you. You look like a fool. You have a secret son. He has a secret son, everybody. Mike, damn it. Cut. Cut. Yeah. So, yeah, come to that. Get tickets. Dusty Aaron, you...

Yeah, I'm on the road. DustySlay.com. It's a hot website, and I got all the dates on there. I'll be going to Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle in Royal Oak, Michigan this week. It's a great one. It's a great one. Yeah. It's very fun. I've got some headlining dates coming up. Very excited about Bristol, Tennessee, Woodstock, Georgia, Chattanooga, Tennessee, Salt Lake City, Austin, Texas.

AaronWeberComedy.com. Oh, yeah. Love to see you. You were listed on the website as an adult show. That's right. On the comedy catch, Dusty's listed as clean, family-friendly, and then I'm adult. Wow. Wow. That's true. I think it would take an adult to get to it. Attention span. You need to be older to get a... I mean, you know, children are welcome. I don't think y'all go last the whole time. You're going to be restless. For sure.

Yeah, I mean, you're on the road too, right? Yeah, I'm on the road. I got dates. MikeVecchione.com, at ComicMikeV on all social media platforms. Yeah. And then where are you at this weekend? I'm in Vancouver at House of Comedy. Oh, yeah. British Columbia. Oh, yeah.

So House of Comedy and then I'm in Houston at the Riot and then Cleveland Hilarities April 14th and 15th. Yeah, weekend before we tape the special. That's where he's going to run. All right. As always, we love you guys. We've been gone a while. It's nice to talk to you. Thank you for everybody that's been coming to these shows. Everybody's been so nice and I've got to meet a lot of folks.

And we appreciate it. Keep Bates in your prayers. And we will see you next week. Bates will be a new man. Sitting up taller. We love you. Yeah. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media.

Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land podcast.