#98 Missouri feat. Greg Warren
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Hello, folks. Let's go, folks. Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm here with Aaron Weber, Brian Bates, and we have a wonderful guest, very funny comedian, known for a long time, Greg Warren. Hey, guys. We're excited. Yeah. He's excited. I'm excited, man. We found him out wandering around the neighborhood, and I was like, Greg, do you want to do this podcast today? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess you could. I could see you. I was hinting around. Are you...

You're not against walking around the neighborhood. No. Yeah. You don't mind like you just kind of wander. Yeah. I've done, you know, on the road, I was doing a lot of walking for a while there. Yeah. Yeah. You get into some suburban neighborhood and then you start wondering, man, I don't know if I should be doing this. I feel like they're fine with you though. You think so? I think when they see you, they go. They probably, I mean, they would just be like, yeah, I mean, that's our neighbor. Yeah. They assume you're there. You have a joke about going for your walk.

Yeah, yeah. When you turned 50? I think I started doing some walking. I did a lot of walking in my 40s, to be honest. Okay. I remember the joke at the time. It was something like, yeah, you know, well, yeah, my neighbor at the time was like, are you going for your walk? I'm like, my walk? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a bad thing. That's not good. I didn't know it had gotten to that. Yeah, going head on out there. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to go watch my stories. Yeah, yeah.

They can just, on the clock, they're like, school's about out. How do you know? Well, once Greg passes our house, I know the bus is not too far behind. Yeah. That's awesome. Well, we're glad you're here. We're getting to from Missouri. So we're doing a little episode about Missouri, which is fun. So we read some of these. We read comments. Yeah. So we're going to read those. First up, Forrest.

Excellent episode. Love the AI talk. I almost said owl. I imagine I am not the only one who signed up on the D-A-L-L-E waiting list to try out this art creating AI. Is it ironic that I had to finish a puzzle to prove that it wasn't robot to get on that list? That isn't right. Yeah, I'm glad. I'm out here spreading the gospel of this AI, dude. It's terrifying. It's fun. It's exciting. So this is the art thing that you talked about. Yeah, yeah. And so they're signing up. People are like,

In the waiting list to try it. Yeah, everybody's getting on board, man. There's going to be a lot of great images created pretty soon. Yeah, it's going to be awesome, man. Images that are like, no one did anything. Take the heart out of everything. How'd you think of that? I just accidentally, a cat walked over my keyboard. And now I've got a

You don't think there's art in the programming of this? There's art in the programming, but it's like we're not watching the programming. It's almost like to show the art of the programming, I guess, would be don't hang that picture up. Have a dedicated space that's a blank wall, and you tell them, go do it, type whatever you want, and they'll show it. Right. That would celebrate what the art should be. That, I think, would be very fun. Sure. But if you hang up a picture of an avocado chair, whatever that is,

It's, you know, it's going to be what it is. It's like, golly, man, did you, who did that? Oh, a computer. It's like, yeah. Okay.

Not even art. So the thing that doesn't make the mistakes. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I get it's fun. It's a fun like, but I think if you did it like that, where if you go just type something in. If you had a keyboard, maybe real art, you have a little keyboard laid out. You have the computers like behind the wall, and it's like a picture frame. That'd be pretty awesome. And then you go just type whatever you want to type in, and then it draws it. That would be awesome.

I might do that. We'll set that up. All right, I'll sign up for it. I like that avocado chair picture. Yeah, it's something. It's something, all right. Center one speaks to me. It's exactly an avocado. Chandler Starks, listen to this week's episode on my way home from my last college class ever just to hear Aaron explain how AI can write whole papers instantly. Guess I learned the biggest college hack a few minutes too late. That is true. Man, can you imagine that?

But Cole will be in good shape. Yeah. Cole is our intern that looks stuff up, and he could just fake it. He's starting to go to college in the fall. He's smart, though, so he's like AI. So...

He'll just have those athletes using him as AI. That's what I tell you. If you want to be a smart college student, you should do it where you write your own papers because you're legit. Yeah. But when an athlete just charged people to be like, I'll do, what do you want to do? And then just write all the papers AI. Yeah. And then you make some cash. It's interesting ethical.

question because it's, it's like it, it's not plagiarism. You're not stealing something from somebody because these words have never existed. I don't think it's in the spirit of the, yeah, that's not quite what they want for sure. But it's not like you're ripping it off from somebody, but it's not, you're, you know, you're not learning.

So, like, if you went to college and was like, I'm here for something else, like, if there was a game plan, like, you're like – if someone's like, I don't believe in these papers, I think these teachers are making this stuff up, something like that, I would probably do. You know, like, I ain't falling for your system, you're making me read Shakespeare and stuff. Like, there ain't no reason for me – like, if there was, like, you could maybe talk your way into believing that. But I think a smart kid, instead of writing out an athlete's paper, I think I would just –

You got to make sure if they start getting caught, these guys are going to come down on you. So I'd probably have some people around you. Have some fall guys. Some fall guys, some security. So you're saying you're going to designate your friends, you're setting them up to take the fall for...

Oh, yeah, you got to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I wouldn't do that, man. But I don't think these athlete kids would even realize. Like, I mean, I'm not an athlete kid, but I'm not smart, so I would have nodded like, this is beautiful. Yeah, this is really well written. And then if you don't say anything, and the teacher's like, I know this is, you're right, there's no way they can prove it. Yeah. Yeah. I was watching Bill Maher this weekend, and he was complaining about –

paying college kids debt because of all these ridiculous classes that are now out there, like friendship class. He didn't say that, but he said other things like that. And the whole crowd applauded. You said the same thing two years ago on this podcast and everyone booed you. So you're just ahead of your times. The problem. I'm too far ahead. Yeah. People don't even understand what's happening. We just have to catch up by the time it's caught up. You've changed again. You,

You're never where you need to be. It never works out. I go, yeah, you're finally doing that dumb way. Your college shouldn't exist. I don't think they should all exist. There should be big buildings. There should be homeless in there. You get more out of that than I'm already. I don't want to pay for your debt now. I don't even want you to be allowed to go.

it's a bit you know i should just be a guy that's two years behind yeah that'd be a way to go then you're like yeah what if they did this like yeah they're well they've been doing that for a few years oh okay they should think about electric cars like yeah dude that's like i mean it's it's here to be honest and you go all right well i haven't seen one so uh lena or lena lena peter

Today's episode was a lot of fun as always. I'm interested to know your take on the following moral dilemma. You're traveling down the road in a self-driving car at some point in the future and the truck in front of you loses something off the back. The only way for your self-driving car to avoid crashing and killing you is to swerve into a group of pedestrians on the sidewalk and kill them.

Self-driving cars will have to be programmed to respond to this situation. So the question is, who should the car always default to saving? You or the stranger? You want a loyal car or not a loyal car? It's interesting in this thought experiment. It's a group of pedestrians instead of just one person. I don't know why they had to up it like that.

Well, it's the same, though, but group, you can picture more. Group makes you... Group's the one you're like, maybe too many people are going to be like, obviously, get rid of that one. But then group, you're like, all right, dude. Five to one ratio. Five to one. You can't run through five people. Why don't they say group of grandmothers and children, too? If they're going to up it like this, they're going to really up it. It could be that group covers it. But I understand. I think one, I think a person makes a joke about it. If you go one...

Then a person's like, well, just hit the other guy. And they laugh. And then you don't even get into the thought experiment because it's like funny. But if you say group, then you're like, well, now I've got to think about it. This is what I love, thought experiments. I mean, the true AI could assess...

I'm going with the movies now. The worth. They should be able to look at all the groups of people and, well, that guy's a convicted felon. Yeah. Like the Terminator just immediately looking at what they're doing. They could do your worth of like, if you're gone, are you going to be, does it matter? Yeah. Like Bates is just getting hit every day. Cars are just driving through his living room. Nothing even fell off the truck. Yeah, nothing fell off the truck.

There was a wreck two highways over, and the truck's first thought was, I got to find a place. It just swerved. You're seeking me out. Not again. It looks for the least worth person in the area. Yeah.

Just the genoir. Across his traffic. Truck pulls up to Bates. Robot gets out and knocks on the door. Hello? We are looking for Bates. Just a little honk outside. And you're like, what? And the car's like, come here. Come here.

calling him over and the car just with his trunk just flips a ball that bounces in front of the car i'll get it i'll get it it's deciding just anytime there's any trouble the car goes well who's the least worth of a person in the area and i go after them hard

That is true. I don't know how they're going to program that. That's probably the tricky part. That's probably, you know, that is crazy because it's like, what are you going to do? And then is it like whose fault is it? It's like you could be like, I'm just sitting there. I'm not, you know.

I don't make the decision. I think it's a, it's a, they're going to calculate probability. I'd say the probability of those group, those pedestrians dying is pretty high, probably higher than the chances of you dying from running into something in front of you. Make the car safer and then you won't have to wipe out a group of innocent people. Depends on what fell off that truck too. Yeah. That's a good point too. Yeah.

Anvil. Yeah. Just the anvil. Bugs Bunny. Yeah. You don't see anvils that much anymore. No, the cartoon. There's a lot of them. Yeah. Probably a second Greg and I's day. Yeah. Is that how y'all got weighed? Yeah. Yeah. My dad did weigh me. I was in a wrestling tournament when I was like 10 years old and we were coming back from vacation on Florida and he stopped at some like...

truck stop and they weighed me on like a meat scale or something because we had a tournament that day yeah you might you got a scale in here we got one for the pigs you might wait my man wait my boy it was like that yeah it was really like that my boy my boy's got a wrestling tournament coming up you mind weighing him

Jesse Mann. Hello, folks. Two episodes in a row I've listened to two self-proclaimed Tennessee boys mispronounce Appalachian Mountains. It's Appalachian, not Appalachian. Appalachian. Appalachian. Oh, and I say Appalachian. You just say it the same way. Yeah.

It's not Appalachian. It's Appalachian. Appalachian Mountains. Come on, guys. Love the show. Keep up the great work. Yeah, I don't know if Appalachian. Appalachian. I think I like that better. Appalachian? Appalachian. Doesn't sound right. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, you know. Yeah, well, he knows. Jesse knows. Everybody knows. We know it's Jesse. Appalachian. I bet they say Appalachian Mountains.

We're just going to keep saying it, Appalachian. It's going to come and go, Jesse. I'll be honest with you. I'm way off. I thought it was the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee. It was called the Smokies. Yeah. It's the Grizzly River Rampage. That's an old ride on the Opryland. Casey Nelson. I love how they kept questioning if Arnold was in the third Terminator when they were looking right at his face on the cover, bigger than it was on the first and second cover. Yeah.

That is very funny. We're like, I wonder if Arnold's in Terminator 3 right there. It looks like that's the only one that looks like it's only about him. Yeah. I mean, every other one. I don't know. I'll watch it. I'll let you guys know if he's in it or not. We watched something. What was it with Justin Smith?

God, it's a movie. Steven Seagal dies immediately in the movie. It's like an airplane on the front of it. Something decision. I think it's something decision. Executive decision? Executive decision. Maybe that's it. I just guessed that. Executive decision. Kurt Russell too? Yes. Yes. Yes.

But in that movie, it was a fun movie, Steven Seagal's in it. And so you're watching it, and it's supposed to be this, you're like, all right, well, Steven Seagal's in it. In the beginning of it, I mean, I guess I'm ruining it, but I'm the only one that hasn't seen any movie ever. This is from 1996. But he dies like that. Right.

Like immediately. Right away. And the whole time you're kind of like, and so I didn't know any of this. And like, you know, Justin's not telling me this. And so I'm going, like I'm waiting for him. Like, well, he's probably coming back, right? Like he's going to be back a lot. There'll be flashbacks or something. He's the biggest star in the world at this. How do you get, like, and so people went crazy about it because they were like, how are you going to,

Kill off the guy that would sell the movie. And I think he was on posters and stuff. And then they just, yeah, it's pretty interesting. All right. Casey Nelson. Oh, that's what it is. Jake Wodke. I bet that's right. Wodke. Love the CVS updates and want to let Brian know Hazel is not alone. I'm a pharmacist, and one of the funniest prescriptions I've ever filled was Prozac for a dog named Twinkie.

With the directions, take one tablet as needed for thunder. Dogs take human meds all the time. Their different phobias requiring medication is always a good laugh. There you go. Yeah, I appreciate everybody being... There's a few people who messaged me who said they had something similar. I appreciate that. Yeah, well, that's nice. Doesn't that go against some sort of...

thing with that's true for Twinkie yeah for Twinkie I don't think that's a great point you know don't they have to have a lot of HIPAA is what I'm trying to say I don't think it's in my business that Twinkie's good neither do I I think Twinkie's at home watching this going well I don't appreciate that at all

I'll tell you what, I'm not scared of thunder at all. Bring it on. Yeah. I thought that was between me and you. Yeah. Thunder thing. Hey, I have a call from Jake. Hey, Jake, I'll talk to you in a second. Am I crazy? Are you sliding out to the world?

that I have a fear of thunder. Am I crazy? Is that what I heard? I come in there. I don't come in with my owner. I come in alone. I don't cause a big scene. I wait. I do everything right. And then you just blat around. I have an update on now Eleanor. That's my daughter, not my dog.

She and I take the same reflex medicine. Oh, she needs it? Like Prilosec type stuff? Well, it's not called that. Rolaids? I went to my new CVS. Was it nice and fancy? How long did it take you to find the pharmacy? It's in a Target, so...

They don't do everything. You were probably, did you walk around? I mean, you're, whoa. It took a while. He just comes in and they go, sir, you're not even through the gates yet. He's just in the front area with about a bank. There's a checkout line. Yeah, but there's like a bank and like a- Eyeglasses person. Eyeglasses, haircut. He's just over there like, I didn't know they built a new mall over here. He goes-

It was fun because Ruth stayed in the car with the baby and I went in and then they had baseball cards over on the side. So me and all the 12-year-old boys were elbowing each other. I'm sure that got mentioned by security. That's low-profile shelving there at CVS, right? Low-profile shelving? You know, if you go to Walgreens, you can't see over, whereas you can see the whole store at CVS. Oh, that's true. Which...

If you're like me and you live where you grew up. Oh, like you walk in, you can see. You can see the back of the store. That is true. Why is that? Yeah. I don't know. It was a choice. I was in the sort of retail business for a while before I did comedy. But yeah, they are the only ones that do that in the pharmacy chains. Like Walgreens, you can't see aisle to aisle. But if you live in the town where you grew up and maybe you run into like, you see somebody from high school, you don't really want to.

you know, really hang out with or whatever, which, you know, most of the time I enjoy seeing people. But if there's somebody you can, you know, at Walgreens, you sort of duck behind the aisle. But if you're at CVS, it's like, Wardog! I mean, there's a guy in the back. I like that for all your...

High school buddies are now hanging out at a CVS pharmacy. Look who's back. You go in there buying like a back pillow. Right. Compression socks or something like that. What do you need? You know, you're looking at some readers. They got a good pair over here. War dog. I never thought about the owls though. That is true. I picture it. You walk in. It's all like, hey,

You can see the pharmacy in the back right away at a CVS. Interesting. Yeah. Wow. You still get photos developed, Brian, I feel like, at a CVS.

No, but we just bought a photo machine for where if you take pictures with your phone and then you make it up and print it out for my mom. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's cool. I thought you were calling a camera a photo machine. So you got one on your phone too, but I don't know if I showed you that yet. I have to duck behind a curtain. Poof. Poof.

I like those frames where you can send it and it just keeps showing pictures. I think that's good. We got one of those for my mom where we can all send pictures to it remotely, all the kids. Yes. Yeah, yeah. We just text it to them or something? You just text it to a number. Oh, that's good. But my mom wants something – she doesn't have a smartphone. Yeah. And at church, when she wants to show off the baby –

Gail has a smartphone so they all have to go to Gail's phone to look at it because she's only one. Oh yeah. But now we've printed off some photos and she carries them on her and she looks like a sleight of hand magician. You mentioned the baby it's just there somehow and she has them showing up. So it's good for her. Yeah.

I mean, yeah. I mean, I don't think she ever thought this was going to happen. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I mean, I think that's what I do. You show up to me, I go, God, have you seen this? And I'm like, no one ever thought this was happening. Colin Anderson.

I think it needs to be clarified. Dustin said it, but quietly. Pescatarian sounds a lot more like Presbyterian than Episcopalian. Big fans of the show. Gives me a great chuckle each week on my commute. Thanks for all you guys do and think and think you do. Thanks for all you guys do and think and think you do. I don't know. I think that was a shot. Yeah, it might be. Taking a shot. Yeah.

Episcopalian. I get what you're saying. I say, thank you for all you guys do and think and think you do. Like we do think. Interesting way to say that. I don't have to disagree on the whole point of the message there. I think pescatarian sounds a lot more Episcopalian.

I don't know. Presbyterian, pescatarian. There was a few people that commented, though, that sounded more like Presbyterian. I can see, because it starts with a P. It starts you off down that road, and so it's hard to get back off. You know what I mean? A pescapillian is like, no one's going to even think of those together. You would think P to P.

Or maybe you say a pescatarian, then that has the same rhythm as Episcopalian. I'm a pescatarian. I'm Episcopalian. Yeah. It's got the same rhythm. Yeah, that does. I mean, we think outside the box, too. Yeah, and think we do. All these cows going around thinking they're fishing.

Are one of you guys pescatarian? No. No one even really knows. I already forgot what all that means. Fish. Yeah, just fish. Just means fish. No, I thought it was... We're talking about Catholics just eating fish on Fridays during Lent. Oh, yeah. Pescatarian. It means you're a fish.

Come from fish. Something like that. Yeah. This is not a smart podcast, Greg. That's good. That's good. I mean, how blown away we were about the CVS thing. What? That's the only really useful piece of knowledge I have. It's a pretty good one. You're killing it so far. Thanks, man. Now, this is Laura. Saving paper? I mean...

it's a good thing, but I just, it does it. Every, everything I look at, I'm like, well, where's the, Oh, I got this. I'm stuck on that. And I go to this side and I got to go there to finish it. I mean, Laura tries to print, it's all blurred over each other. And I'm trying to read, she's like, well, we only used one sheet of paper for a book. Um,

This is the book's comments. Jeff J. Snyder, we'll never know whether Bumblebee would have called out Justin and Nate, who both said photogenic memory instead of photographic memory. But we do know it didn't phase elite education Weber one single bit. Yeah. You didn't care. I think I could spin that. Yeah. Photogenic memory. It's just like.

your memory looks so good that you can yeah yeah yeah you can see it so well it's like it in your mind it would almost be like you're like i only remember good looking people yeah or you remember yourself is looking better than you that's how you yeah yeah yeah and so that's how you would you know i got a photogenic memory and you're so someone ugly shows up and you're like hey what's your name again and you're like no we've met you go i don't have a photogenic memory yeah

you're good looking people and then and then like a good looking dad shows up and you stay now he goes he never met that guy i just remember him the one where you remember yourself looking better than you actually did if there's a word for that for i know some comics that uh

remember sets going a lot better than yeah oh they're murdered dude murdered murdered what room were you in yeah i feel that way i think i have a great set and i record it and then i'll go home and listen to it i'm like yeah it didn't sound as good as i remembered it yeah yeah you're literally the thing he's talking about so

Should we call it a bait? I mean, it's literally. Baitogenic. Baitogenic. Yeah. Baitogenic. Then it goes. How'd it go? Went great. I killed. Sounded like an arena in there. Then I was like, well, let me go back and watch it where I put my camera in the thick of all the people. And it sounded worse than I thought. It's not like you're like, well, where's the camera? Was it outside or something? You're like, no, no, no, no. I had my biggest fan holding it and filming it.

And it just was nothing. I thought I remembered them standing. No one stood. A lot of walking in the bathroom. The baits-ogenic, though, he's the guy that, I mean, you at some point admit that it didn't go very well. I know some guys that even if they heard it, they'd be like, no, no, I'm murdered. I don't think it ever sounds as good as you think on video.

It never, it never, you never, it is, I'm making fun of it, but it's hard to, when you go back and listen to it, it's, it's just a different feeling. You're there. Then when you go back to hear it and you have like a camera in the back, it's like, you know, but it's not, I do agree. It's, I don't listen to them.

I've never listened to a set. Really? Yeah. I tried, and I just don't. I'm getting maybe a little better about it now, but I'll have them every time somewhere, and they're like, they can record here. And you're like, all right, yeah, record it. And that link will delete every time. Yeah. I don't want to watch it. I listen to almost all of them, but I don't want to watch it. I think I would be better watching. Really? I think so.

It's hearing, it's, yeah, it's like almost like too much in your head when you just hear. If I'm watching, I know it's like there's at least a disconnect. And then maybe I'm listening. It's like too much like. This guy, Ron Morey.

It was a comic when I was first starting out. It was really funny. And he told me this trick. He said, listen to your set, but do it while you're washing the dishes or something where you're not thinking. Oh, yeah. On the internet or driving. I drove a lot back then. And he said, you'll start to get used to your voice a little bit more. Oh, that's good. And it was really helpful for me. Yeah. Because I just didn't sound natural back then. Yeah.

Yeah, I think that's a good way to do it. I mean, people listen. I have always had trouble with it just because I think it's the way I –

tell a joke is like it's it's always a little different and not and it's not like the joke changes but it's like the way i get into it the way i transition like there's like little things that make it seem different and so sometimes there'll be a line here and there like i mean he'd always be like basically like well you didn't say this one way this time but it's like that way would just go away from me and then it's like and then i'd be there'd be a new way i'm saying it no i think that's part of yeah what's

really been good for you. You always sound organic. Like it's like, yeah, there's all you get. Like you're doing so many shows. You just get, you end up like being like, you're trying to mess with it almost too much, which could be not a good thing, but. Oh yeah, man. I've, I've, yeah, I represent that. Yeah. You just getting that going. Let's try to shake this whole thing. I was thinking like I switched my order up this past, uh, couple runs and,

And because I was like, let me try this. I tried one new way. It went really good one night. I tried to get another night and it did not. And then I switched up some other stuff because I was trying to like fit things differently. Like, you know, I mean, everybody does. But I look, it's all a puzzle. And so you're all just like, here's this chunk about my parents or my wife, you know, and or here's like the kind of miscellaneous chunk. And so I was like, let me try to mix it all up. And I mix it all up. And I mean, I lost so much time.

Like I did it. I mean, I was probably hitting like usually around an hour. Yeah. And then, uh, all right. He's gonna get into 63, 64 and stuff like that. And then, uh, I did it and I was like one night I'm doing it. And I know like my wife chunk is roughly 20 minutes.

And I look, and I have a clock up there. So I'm at 30, and I'm about to get into the wife stuff. And I'm like, well, this is not. I go, so. I was like, I don't know if I'm going to hit 50. It's got to go great for me to get to 50 now. 50, yeah. And so then I had to add stuff. But I just told some stories. Some new stories that I've necessarily not going to put in this new hour, but I was like, that I've already thought of. And so I was like, well, let me just. I added like a couple long stories. You know that I was able to get to 60. But I was like, God, dude.

and you're like i swear i was getting to 64 minutes with horribly disappointing yeah yeah it's the worst thing ever i've been where did this stuff go am i and you're like am i forgetting like um my act yeah like you get up there you're like you forgot about the 40 minute car bit that's what you're that's all you're hoping yeah it's never that easy that's right that's all i had to

do is that yeah that's right remember your grocery store thing is like uh 35 minutes and you call back and close on it stay in ovation yes that is all right it's a solid bit i love telling it i just forgot it this time i have that now because now you got to try to do i mean people like i've had it's like i mean i do like 60 uh i've done 68 64 i'm in that range

And I'm trying to get myself to eventually get to 75. I don't know if I will before this next special comes out, but the next special is like I want to be doing like 75 minutes. 75? Yeah. And then cut it to an hour? When I shoot, yeah. Yeah. But I'm saying like when you're doing live shows. Right. It's like really just getting to 75. I mean, I know like some of the bigger places you go and stuff like that, it's like I think you need to be up there a little more. And then-

But it's a hard thing. It's hard. You know, some guys can just go do 90 minutes. Yeah. And then I'm just like, I don't know how to do that. No, I mean. It's hard to do. I'm doing old material if I'm doing 90 minutes. Me too. Me too. Yeah. And so it's like I don't know how to. It's like stretches. You know, because you want it to still be tight.

That's the thing, is I still want to be very tight. So I don't know. It's hard to be super tight for 75 minutes, but maybe there's a, you know, but if you. Yeah, especially some of the guys like, you know, the joke guys. I don't know how they get to it. I don't. Well, I don't think they can. I think that's an hour. I mean, I don't know how much a straight joke teller comic is. I don't think you could go that long. I don't either. And an hour is usually good.

But if you even got 70 minutes, I think that's good. But I think it'll be the next stage after this special is I'm starting to think about that. 75 minutes? 70, 75 minutes. How can I get up to... You become a little different of a comic of...

just stuff's maybe a little bit longer, but it's like, I want to keep it as tight as I can keep it. You know, that's the tightness is the thing that's,

Because sometimes people can do that, but they're not tight. I heard a joke this weekend, and you're like, this joke should be two minutes, and he makes it five. And you're like, well, this should be two. Yeah. And it's a very funny joke, but it's like, you got to suck the life out of that thing, man. It would be an amazing two-minute joke, and it's like kind of you're over it on a five-minute joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's just like... And you can tell that that's probably your best joke. And so...

you're trying to stretch it out. Doubling down on it. You're doubling because you went over. Pushing all the chips in on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you have such great checkoff points.

So in the joke, he's got such big pops that there's probably three, four big laughs. And so the time in between those laughs, it's like you can, because you know those laughs are solid. They're not going to go away. They're not fake. They're very real, because it's a very funny thing that he's talking about. And I don't want to say it, because I don't. But I could see...

But it's like he knows it. And then it's like trying to play it out too much in the middle. Surf in between. Yeah, to get the time up. And you're like, yeah, man, but that joke would either be you're going to walk out on a standing ovation or it's going to be just a slow kind of build. That's a very good joke. But then it's like you got to ring that out. God, that just brought back awful memories. And when you said –

You know those laughs are there. Yeah. I remember when I first was... I got some feature gigs on the road before I should have been doing it. And you go in and you're like, all right, I don't have 30 minutes back then. I don't have it. But I do have these six giant bits that always kill. Yeah. And I did some gig in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Yeah.

And I was through all six of them in like 10 minutes. And they didn't do well. And I was like, if you didn't like that, man, you're really not going to like it. Yeah. Those were the hits. Yeah, those were for sure going to kill. Those were, those days, I remember, I remember I had all those days too, like where it's like you just think,

That's the stuff that you got to go learn. That's why it's like experience is everything because you get put in that position to be like now, look, you can still now have crowds that like they don't laugh. You know, like you have a show and you're like, well, this one, they were laughing so long and loud. And so I had to pause a lot more. And then you get in another venue and you're like, well, they're a little bit tighter. They're laughing. They're laughing, but it's not as long. It's not as easy. So it's like all your time shrinks up.

And it's funny, but you got to learn how to do it because when you do it, you have nothing and you're like,

You just threw this material. You learned that you're like, whatever amount of time you have, you have half that. Yeah. I don't know what I did. Because now, if that happens, you just throw in some old, I got enough material always to cover it. I don't know what I was doing. Yeah. No idea. Just talk. Talking, you know, probably terrible crowd. Yeah. The crowd work from a place of weakness is never a good thing. Yeah.

Where you have to have it. It's great when they like you, but when they don't. You know what? That is very true. I had it on a cruise. I might have told a story on a cruise ship. I did it where you got to do. Did I ever talk about the cruise ship on this? I don't know.

I think so. Those are real bad bombs of yours. Yeah, I bombed. So you have to do two clean sets, two dirty sets. I don't even have dirty sets. But then one night I was like, I'm going to do a best of of all that. And then everybody's been to every show. So I'm like, they've heard everything. And I mean, I'm at five years. I'm barely being able to do an hour.

Barely. Yeah. And so in the 30-minute sets, I had to do crowd work. And it was from a week's – I never thought of it, why it went so bad, because it was from a week place. Yeah, from a place of weakness. It doesn't – No matter what they said, I was like, oh, that's cool. Like a guy – I was like, what do you do? The guy goes, I work on oil rigs. And I'm like, I should be able to talk about that for 40 minutes. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, wow, man, that's cool. And then I'm like, what about you? And I just keep – I just move on. Yeah.

It's just a survey. Yeah, I'm just asking. That's great. That's great. The older comic, typically you say something after when they tell you the joke. Typically you comment on, oh, I thought you were just asking. It was coming from a place of wheat. That's so. You may have heard of me, but I did a comedy catch in Chattanooga, and the guy up front was wearing an Auburn shirt. I was like, you an Auburn fan? He's like, yeah. I was like, all right, cool.

man i've been that guy what a moment you don't know what this guy's gonna say man let's talk about what you're wearing

What is that, Tommy Hilfiger? Yeah. This guy's a maniac! Don't sit up front! Don't sit in the splash zone. Bates will get you. He'll take you on a wild ride, brother! He just talks about what he's wearing.

Does he make fun of it? No, no. It's not his style, man. It's not his style. That's not what Bates does. He said he wished he could afford it. That's right. He makes the person feel bad. He's like, God, I'd love to be able to buy an all-in shirt like that one day. Yeah.

All right. Daniel Dwiggins. When the guys were talking about fireworks, Nate said, July's in the middle, so you're always around it. And Aaron and Justin didn't say anything about it. I know the calendar episode was quite a while ago. We might need a part two soon, part two soon to remind everyone how time works.

Do you understand why that doesn't make a lot of sense? I don't. July is in the middle. Well, you were making the argument how these fireworks stores stay open if it's only July 4th, whatever. And Nate was saying, well, yeah, but July is kind of in the middle. But that doesn't make any sense.

So I think what Nate was saying is you got July in the middle, you got New Year's at the end, so you're always leading up to a firework event. That was what he was trying to say. Oh, okay. Well, he said a few people commented that you just said July's in the middle as if to say once July 5th hits, it's not going to be another year no matter when it falls on the calendar. You're always kind of in the middle. Yeah. I'm in the middle of the calendar. If you think of stuff as the calendar year, it's like you're –

It's always in the, you're so focused on, you know, after New Year's Eve, it's fireworks. Even if you take that away. You go, you know, January and you're like, well, July 4th is the next big celebrity. So you're always thinking about fireworks. Then after it happens, you want to buy them because they're cheap. And so you're like, I'll save them for the next year or something. And then it's like, then you get caught up with Christmas.

And then once Christmas is done, then you're like, God, is it? I got to start buying fireworks. And so it's always, it feels like it's always in the middle. Yeah. And that's why they stay open. So it's just year round. But the New Year's Eve thing makes it sound more better. Yeah. I should stick with that. Feast for thought. Reading is like any other skill. If you don't do it enough, you can't expect the same results as someone who practices it all the time.

You were saying how it was hard to read and concentrate, which I totally agree. Yeah. But they're just saying it's just like anything. You got to practice it and get better at it. Should be a colon there instead of a comma for that first one. Just throwing that out there. I thought writing is like any other skill. Yeah. Get your colon checked, everybody. It's that time of year. It's always in the middle. Right in the middle. Right in the middle. Yeah.

Corey Eames. In regards to the book episode, I thought you guys might be interested in the... Huh? I thought you... It's probably Corey Iams. Oh, Corey Iams. That's the pet food people, right? Iams. Oh, Iams. Oh, this is old money. Yep. In regards to the book episode, I thought you guys might be interested in the Mariko Aoki phenomenon.

which is the urge to defecate that is suddenly felt after entering bookstores. People claim that when they walk into a bookstore, the smell of books make them have to instantly go to the bathroom.

So I looked this up. This is a real thing. They think the smell of the print, the ink, and the paper makes – it's like a laxative, and people have to go to the bathroom more often. So exactly what this guy said. I feel like I brought a couple extra tidbits to the conversation. The smell of books make them have to go. So basically – Ask him what he's wearing. Yeah. Was that a folcat? Yeah. Yeah.

He got you, man. Boom, roasted. Boom, roasted. Next. What I think is this is Pavlovian in the sense that a lot of people read on the toilet. Right? So you get around books, your brain's going to reverse engineer that and think we need to be on the toilet. You're kind of talking all about the same thing.

I feel like I've walked into a stall if I heard two men, y'all both talking about this and stall next to each other. And I was like, I can't do this. It would have the opposite effect on you. Yeah, the opposite. I go. I can't go for weeks. Well, that makes a lot of sense. You're like, hey, boys, why don't we get on out of here and have this conversation? Y'all both in here. This book's been flagged. Some people are so comfortable when they go to the, like they just, you know, like you can just, there's no. I was at a Love's truck stop this weekend. There's a guy in the stall, jokingly.

just on speakerphone with like his insurance company, just like running errands on the phone. I go, everyone can hear this. Yeah. He's like, my policy number is three, four, three. The fact that they don't think of the consequences of,

Like just the embarrassment. You know, yeah, I've, I've, a lot of people call you in the bathroom. I won't, I'll do whatever I can to make you not think. I will never talk if I'm in the bathroom. Yeah. But like, I don't even want to be in my bathroom. Sometimes it can be echoey.

And then like, so even if you're just in your house and you're like, I don't know, you could be brushing your teeth and I'm just walking through my bathroom. I try to like, I'm a crazy person, but it's like, I overthink, you know, cause yeah, I mean, you just, I've heard that too. People get on the phone. You're like, you wouldn't be in a public stall on speakerphone. Do you lift your feet off the ground so they can't even see that you're in there? Uh, somebody will barge in. No, it was locked. I can send us, put headphones in just cause it's like, I want to just not hear anything. Yeah. Yeah.

I could almost do that when I walk into... I could do it if I go pee in the bathroom. I should probably do that more. That'd probably help. Put headphones in? Yeah, just have something playing so it's like I'm just in my own world. Because otherwise you just get... I stand there, then...

And I get surrounded by two guys because their whole instinct is to be next to a body. And then it fans out that way. And no matter where you're at, you're like, there's no one in here now. There's only four people here, but they're all next to me. And you're like, what happened here? Brian walks up, was that a Vanderbilt hat? Yeah. But you go to Vanderbilt looking over. He's still telling you to look over the stall thing. Yeah.

What is that? Is that Vanderbilt? Like Wilson on Home Improvement? Yeah, Home Improvement. You see the top? You see. What is that? Is that a Vanderbilt shirt you got on? Am I sure? Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Would you rather have partitions on either side of you, but the two guys are beside you, or...

They're further away, but no partitions. I probably have partitions. Thank you. The golf course I go to doesn't have partitions, and it's terrible. And I don't know why. You're like, it can't be expensive. I almost should go. I'll look into it. The Nate Bargatze partitions. I would like. You know what? I should buy them, and then I just have my name on them. Nate Land. Listen to Nate Land. Just have like a gas station, like a video that plays the podcast just on it. Oh, yeah, man.

But because it is like you want to go this. You're like, hey, just put Legends of Vanderbilt. Like you're like, just put partitions in the. Come on. What are we doing? It would change my life. Yeah. And these old men going there, they don't care. They don't. Yeah. But they. But it's. It's going to be young people leading this revolution. Yeah. But you're like, just just don't just do this. Throw us a bone. You know, here it's like.

What are we, horses? Old guys at athletic events, that's their time to shine. They don't care. As a kid, I remember just hearing those guys talk.

In the bathroom? Yeah. You don't buy beer, you rent it. There's like 50 of those. That's a great. There's like 50 of those. And I'm like, hey, man, I'm nine. He hits you. You don't buy beer, you rent it. And I was like, your dad laughs. All these old men laugh. What is wrong with y'all? You're peeing in a trough.

Another one was, I guess there were blue laws back when I was a kid and you couldn't buy beer on Sunday, but they could sell you what they called three, two beer.

which is 3.2% alcohol versus what it was like low alcohol beer. And I remember, you know, being in the bathroom of the three, two beer, you know, which means that, you know, they're drinking way more of it to, you know, to get drunk. So I'm like, yeah, I'm 11. Yeah. Stupid Sunday.

Bailey Scott, I am mind blown that Aaron's website is a fake MySpace with explanation. I didn't bring the fake MySpace. When I first started listening to the podcast, I visited his site. I was so confused on why of all platforms, he had MySpace. Now that we are all in on the joke, that's hilarious and very creative. You definitely fooled me. Yep. He's got a fake MySpace. I think it's going to do a lot for him. Yeah.

I wonder how many gigs you've lost because they're like, this isn't real. I can't find his website. That's your site, man? Probably a lot, yeah. That's great. Wow, that's really cool, man. The people that get it, get it. And then other 98% of people. God, that's funny. Because it looks...

just made but it is it is good i got a top eight yeah oh wow that's cool on there and what does that go to if you go to nateland i think this takes us to the website yeah yeah oh that's good i mean he did it all he's got the comments oh yeah fake ads man oh those uh oh that's funny oh yeah and you have a fake ad derrick queen oh yeah i got fake ads all throughout the site it is a good website yeah thanks it is good might be time to get something real i don't know

I don't know. I make fun of it, but I could... You got all the contacting stuff there. I got all the info you need. For me, this was a way to list this stuff without feeling like I was being obnoxious. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. No, I know. Will you be like a...

Uh, no, I get that idea. Anytime I have to talk about myself, I have to cloak it with irony in some way. So I'm just like, yeah, yeah. That's a weird thing. Yeah. That's, you know what? That goes away. I'll tell you that. Yeah. I think it does. It goes, cause it's like, you, I, you'd always do that. My bio, it might still be like that. Mine was like, uh,

I wrote it with this idea of like, did I perform for the troops? I was like, who cares? No, of course you did. Because you feel that kind of thing. And then later on, though, you just end up, you know people are there for, they want to just know this information. And so you learn to like, and you almost get a little disconnected from it because you're, I'm not, you know, my website is like, you're just not building it on your own.

I need to have somebody else write my bio for me. Yeah. That's what you have to do. You do one of those things like Nate did, and then you go do a corporate gig and they read your bio word for word without the irony. Did I perform for the troops? Yes. But so did you.

Why don't you have the AI thing write your bio for you? Oh, I should. Yeah. I'll do that later. I'll change it up. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see what that. Yeah. Because that'd be fun to see with that next week. Come back next week with a new bio. And then. Wait, are we gone next week? Well, we're going to do next week's after this one. Yeah. So we will do it next week. And then. Yeah, that'd be good. But this is good. This is a great. It is. I've made fun of it.

I'm correcting myself. It's a great way to do what you're talking about doing now. Yeah. Like, is that kind of thing. I don't know about that picture, but it's... You need to change that picture. I know. I need new headshots, dude. That's an old picture? I need new headshots. But just putting a picture up of you on stage, no one's taking a picture of you, like the Grand Ole Opry or the... I've got a couple, yeah. At the time, I thought this was a fun one. That is fun.

But it's, you know, but I mean, you've lost a lot of weight. Yeah, I'm a lot bigger in that picture for sure. You're going to show up. I thought I was killing it back then though. I know, but now you're going to show up and they're like, I mean, this kid can't even...

You're supposed to tip over a van. You're like, I don't know. And they look at you now and you're like, I mean, what are you? I don't know if you can get a Prius over. They need a guy that's going to run up to a van like a football player. And they go, all right. All right. And like I always say, I found something interesting about this. So as I always said with the ads,

I know like we're doing obviously more than we did before. And like I've said before, I just want to say it again. It's like, I'm aware of the family we're doing. I'm aware. These are great things that we do and we do them with, and it is helping. This stuff does help build the Nate land world that I would like to build. So you're, you're very much a help for that. So when you go through these, if you use these, that's a big thing. I'm not trying to, you know, I don't, I want to, I don't mean I have five, so,

is a lot, but it's, or four or five, but it's, but it's like, this is all going to this world and it's building stuff. So just always remember that I'm aware of them. I'm aware that, you know, people get annoyed with ads. I'm, I'm not trying to take anything from you. It's like, we're doing this. And I always appreciate that. And someone that does, so everything you do, I appreciate it. But then I sell something with Tristan and,

About you, when you edited the ads into the podcast is when your baby was born. Yeah. I got told that. Yes. Which is pretty crazy. So funny. So your first and last thing when your baby was born-

last before baby was us and then you and your baby listened to the podcast that's right that's right the next morning the next morning so trist is doing hard at work around a solo stove yeah around a solo stove company man i mean hard at work was i mean in the thick of it baby was born how quick was the baby born to finish in the podcast oh man

I was publishing the podcast around 7.30. Yeah. He was born at 10.56. Wow. Whoa. I mean, just right there. That's awesome. Congratulations, man. Nate called me the day before. That baby's 15 now.

Nate called me the day before Eleanor was born, and I saw it, and I thought, he's going to give me some fatherly advice my first time. And he's like, hey, Vecchione's coming on tomorrow. Look up some stuff on the diets. I don't think I knew she was being born that day. I don't know for sure. My buddy, a real funny comic, Tommy Johnigan, he called me accidentally,

When he, when Heather was about to give birth to their first child and he called me, he's like, I go, hello. He's like, Hey man, I didn't mean to call you. We're on our way to the hospital. Heather's, Heather's water just broke and we're going in. I go, Hey man, I got a couple of bits I want to run by. It took him a second. He's like,

No, Greg, I don't want to. I was like, I'll never get to do this joke ever again. Yeah, it worked out perfectly. Yeah, yeah. I didn't want to do it, and I was like, I got to do it. Yeah, that's great. Was that the day before? Yeah. But were you all at the hospital or were you at home? I was at home. Oh, but y'all were getting her. She was in. You knew the time. Yes. Exactly. We had a scheduled time. Oh. Yeah, yeah. So you were just at home. It's not like you were...

It was like in the middle. I mean, he was doing it and he was maybe about to be delivered. You didn't call him. I know, but he was working. Yeah. And so I called you to work, but I guess you wanted that day off to go do stuff. Yeah. I don't know if I should be calling to give you fatherly advice. Like,

You give far away advice, I think, later. I've always said it's the greatest thing you could ever do is having a child. There's nothing like it.

That's not really advice, though. But it's the joy that you're... It's not advice. What advice can I give you? I don't know. Diapers, this is how you do a diaper. It's the idea that always remember, it's the greatest thing that... It's unreal. And there's nothing like it. And there's... Oh, just remember that. That's advice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just be conscious. I'm just saying, I just say it's the greatest thing ever. Like, so... Okay. That was advice. I don't know. I'll call you if you want. I'll walk you through it. That's...

I gave you a nice maternity leave. You were off for however long. And Greg doesn't have kids. So making him feel bad. I'm sorry, Greg. I'm sorry. Yeah. Well, Greg, there's hope. Yeah, Bates and I aren't too far apart, really. No, we're not. Yeah. Before we get into it, can I ask the glove update?

Yeah, Steve Byrne got the glove. He brought it to me. I have it. I have my childhood baseball glove back. Where is it? It's at my house right now. I mean...

How do you, how would you not bring it? Yeah. Cause I came, I was in Denver this morning and I came straight here, so I didn't get a chance to grab it. But how, then why would we even, why would we bring it up? I don't think Brian knew that I didn't, didn't have it. Well, I just, so many people have asked. It is. Yeah. It's good to follow up. We were going to update in the next episode. Two weeks from now, I'll have it. Oh God. I don't even care. I don't even, I will, I'm not even impressed with this story. Oh, it's a great story. Now,

Now, a lot of people have commented that it was great until they realized you and your entire family went to school in Indiana, very close to where this was. Yeah, but I didn't bring my baseball glove from when I was eight to college. Yeah. So that's not where it was from. Maybe your brother at Purdue or...

He took an eight-year-old's baseball glove to college? It's definitely a crazy story. I don't say you don't bring the glove. I just don't. I didn't have a chance, dude. If you think about a show that we're creating, we're creating a show. I came straight from the airport, dude. To go, you know...

It's like, I got a tattoo with Nate laying on it. Wow, dude, can we see it? I'd rather not show you. Oh, okay. All right. But I'm glad we said that because I'm still getting a lot of messages, people offering to go grab it for me. Okay. And I need everyone to know it's been grabbed. Yes. It's back in my hands. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah.

Kind of. Maybe go grab it from Aaron's house. If people are listening, I think that would be great. If people could go actually, so maybe we could see it for a month later. Oh, that's right. Last day of the podcast. Oh, there's that glove. Remember that story? Steve Byrne went through all that trouble and he just, you know.

I got this rock too. I've been to show this. This is the Nate Land podcast rocks, smooth rock, young lady. I believe her name is Sabrina. I'm sorry if that is not your name. I try to remember. I think it's Sabrina. You'll always be Sabrina to me.

She gave us this. She painted it and stuff. That's really cool. Very nice. All right. This week, don't touch it, Craig. Fair enough. Just between him and Sabrina. I got to straighten it up. Sorry about that, man. Sabrina, I'm sorry about that. Playing a little fast and loose there. What's Craig's problem? I'll tell you. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, if I had a glove, I could kind of.

Yeah, that's true. You break it in. God, I wish you had a glove. Yeah, me too, man. I just got Lincoln's coat. God, can we see it? Nah. I didn't think y'all would want to see it. I didn't think you'd want to bring it. I didn't think about showmanship. I only do it every night. You only literally flew to do showmanship to come back and not do showmanship. Isn't this showmanship?

The glove? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Showmanship. Okay, you're right. Yeah. All right. I don't know. Just ask them. Yeah, maybe care about the podcast. Maybe I'll talk first and go, did you bring the glove? I'm going to bring it up. All right, my bad. So this week we're talking about Missouri. Greg is from Missouri. Yeah. Is it Missouri or Missouri? Missouri, if you're in sort of the middle of the state, you would say Missouri. Missouri.

Middle State, you'd say Missouri. Yeah, you'd say Missouri if you're from more of the rural area. But if you're in St. Louis or Kansas City, you'd say Missouri. And you were in St. Louis? Yeah, yeah. I grew up in St. Louis. I was born in Springfield. Oh, yeah? Isn't that the Bass Pro Shop? Yeah, that's where the Bass Pro Shop is. Man, they have like a wildlife museum right by the Bass Pro Shop. It's been a long time since I went there. But when I went, it was like a Missouri wildlife museum.

The animals were alive. Yeah. They had a bunch of different- Now they're dead. It was that long ago. You're like- Yeah. They were. They eventually died. They go, we'll just make it a museum. You go, ah, it works. Yeah. Taxidermy at this point. But yeah, it was all animals that you would find that are indigenous to Missouri. It was pretty cool. And then you get to the end and there was a shark.

And I just feel like this guy that, you know, the guy that started the museum had this like really pure vision, like Missouri, Missouri, and then just people kept coming through.

I want to see a shark. Where's the shark? I brought my family up here. I'm paying 20 bucks a ticket. I want to see a shark. He's like, well, actually, sir, it's only Missouri. No, no, no. I want to see a shark. And then there's some moment where he's like, just put the shark. Well, you need a headliner. And I don't think y'all have a headliner. I think we got, come on, what is it? We got like black bears, I think. That's not a headliner. You're saying that's not a headlining animal? Those are dime a dozen. Yeah.

Those are all over the place. There's so much that in the Appalachian Mountains. Wow. I mean, you can't even walk near it. Yeah. They're everywhere. You don't have a headliner animal. We got giant catfish in Lake of the Ozarks. Are you? What are you talking about? If it's a catfish as big as a Volkswagen, that's not a headliner? If you get one as big as a Volkswagen. The rumor is down there at the bottom of the- They wouldn't know this is real. Yeah, yeah.

Kathleen Madigan. She grew up down there by Lake of the Ozarks. And she's the one that told me the rumor is down there by the bottom of the dam, there's catfish as big as Volkswagens. That's a headliner. That's like an arena act. If you have that, you don't need the shark. But the problem is y'all don't have- We didn't have it.

You don't have a headliner. We didn't. And the shark, you think the shark wants to, the shark doesn't belong there. He knows this is a shark that's, that's, he sells out the club instantly. Yeah. I should be doing arenas now. And he got lost in the system. Yeah. And now he's like, where am I? And they go Springfield. He's like, what? Like, is that Illinois? Is this freshwater?

Yeah. He goes, well, I'm having trouble breathing. It's like working in an old club that they smoke still. Yeah. You're like, they still smoke here? Yeah, yeah. Man, we're describing my career pretty quickly. Why am I still doing this? No. But it is funny that I think if y'all – you could – one of your animals could be a headline animal, but you need like a big anaconda or something like – No, we don't have that now.

I know. Black bear is kind of your thing? What's that? The black bear? No, it's not even our thing, man. I mean, I think, you know, we got, well, Missouri mule is, you know, that's a thing, the Missouri mule. And there was some beer. Like a donkey? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's your state animal? Missouri mule is a thing. Is that your state animal? Man, I don't know. I think it is. It might be. I would think it would be. Like, I remember there was a beer. Headliners? That might. Yeah.

I mean, you haven't seen these mules, Nate. I mean, I feel like that's who shows you around the museum. We have donkeys walking around. That's cool, man. The Missouri mule. Yeah.

Look, I'll be honest with you. What state has a headliner as its state animal? I don't know. I mean, Florida's got gators. That's a headliner. Is that their state? Texas has those longhorn cattle. That's a headliner. That's a headliner. California's got a grizzly bear. That's a headliner. Grizzly bear. That's a big grizzly bear. Alaska, yeah. Any of the...

A gray whale, too. I mean, California's a huge... A whale is a headlining animal. That's a big headline. Yeah, California's doing well. Georgia's just a deer, just roadkill. Yeah. I mean, that's not even... Yeah, that's an open mic. You're not even... A bison from Kansas is up there. It needs to be big. It needs to be big. I think they're all pretty big. I know, but it needs to... There should be a story with it. There better be... I'm telling you, Kansas has got a big enough bison. Yeah.

I'll tell you what, a moose is absolutely a headliner. Moose might be number one over all of them just because you don't really get to see them up close. And then if you saw one up close, you'd be like, this is crazy how big that thing is. You're marveled by how big it is. I heard you don't want to see them up close. I heard moose are way meaner than bears. You don't want to be around a moose. Yeah, you don't want to be...

Yeah, there you go. Montana. Look at that, man. Missouri. You're saying that's not a headliner? Y'all decided. It looks like, oh, that's a picture from 95. I was like, y'all decided 95. I'm about to graduate high school. You're like, we'll do the mule. That's how long it took. I remember there was a beer my dad drank called Old Missouri, and it had a picture of that mule on there. I was saying, for your animal.

yours would always be there. It can walk a long way. Missouri is always represented in the fact that these other animals die off. You're like, well, who's even left? You're like, a dumb mule's still here. He won't go away. The dumb mule that's carrying all your stuff. It's the only state animal so far carrying luggage. It's the only one with a backpack.

It looks like a nativity scene. It's not sexy. It's not glamorous, but I mean, utilitarian-wise, yeah. It's an old man's animal. It's like cargo pants. He just loves that. It's like, yeah, you carry your stuff. You put your phone in there. I got my calendars right on that side. Yeah, Ernie, they don't look that good, though. They don't look good.

Well, you need some water? You need some water? Well, let me go get my giant water bottle. Ask your grizzly bear to carry the water bottle and see where his attitude takes you. New York beaver. Yeah. I mean, I need to see it work. North Carolina's got a squirrel, man. A squirrel is pretty weak. That's weak. That is pretty weak. That's weak. Don't waste your time.

Oregon claims the beaver too. A lot of overlap. Not that many animals, I guess. Tennessee's a raccoon. So raccoons, a little fun, a little sneaky. We're not, I don't, I want to defend it the same way you want. It's a borderline rodent. You know what? It's a rodent, man. It gets in your trash. Yeah. It's got character. I'll give you that. It's got character. You don't know what's going to happen around it. One could be cool. One could be playing you. Yeah. Raccoons are cool looking.

They are. Yeah, the hands are really neat. I don't think we get a lot of sleep here. We got black eyes under, you know. So that 1995 for the Mule, that must have been the year because that photo says 1971 and that wasn't taken in 1971. Man, we had other stuff going on. Yeah. We just didn't...

We didn't have time. At the end, he goes, it's like in a big meeting. They're going, we got to get Missouri. They go, we need a state animal. I don't. Do the mule for all I care. Next thing. Missouri actually stopped. And that's how the mule got. Florida panther. That's a great one. Yeah, they got the dolphin, too. Manatee, too, man. Yeah, yeah. If you're around water, you got some fun stuff. Hawaiian monk seal. Missouri's landline. Yeah.

So he's got a mule. We got a raccoon, though. Raccoon's not... Oh, you do. You got a lake, I guess. If I get one of those catfish as big as a... And then we're headlining, right? I think your animal should be a catfish. Yeah. That would have been... You stand out. So the origin of the giant catfish myth, according to Snopes.com, is there's some divers in the lakes. They had to rescue...

It was an EMS crew, and they reported catfish so large that one of the divers was sucked into the giant bottom feeder's mouth only to be spat out. So that's sort of the origin of some of these urban legends of giant catfish lurking at the bottom of the lake. And that was in 98. That was in 98 that was reported, yeah. Is noodling a big thing there? Oh, yeah, yeah. Is that your state activity? I don't know.

I don't know if we have one, but it might be. Again, it's- New category. Is that your subject in school? The thing is- What do you got? I got math, reading, noodling. It's sort of a dichotomy. You have St. Louis and Kansas City, and then you have the rest of the state that's probably a little bit more-

You have the two biggest rivers in the U.S. Missouri and the, yeah, I should have worn my St. Louis shirt. It's got like, our city has a flag and it's got the two rivers coming together. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, it's pretty neat. Yeah. With the French fleur-de-lis. It was founded by the French. Yeah. So Missouri is an Indian word. Do you know what it means? No. No.

He of the big canoe. It's probably something to do with the fur traders or the fur trappers at the time. I thought it had to do with the canoes. Well, I think the guys in the canoes were out there. I think you can buy a nice canoe at a big Bass Pro Shop. Yeah. There's a St. Louis flag. Oh, there's a flag. That's very cool. That's a good flag. It looks like New Orleans just because of that. Because of the fleur-de-lis. But that's an awesome flag. Is that what that's called, fleur-de-lis? That looks like the top of a gate.

Yeah. Top of a gate? Does that make anybody else think of that? That pattern makes me think of like a... A pole. The top of the pole along the gate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Yeah. I see what you're saying. Yeah. I'm like a chain link. No, no. Like a fancy house. Like cast iron. Oh, yeah. Like rich people. Yeah. Yeah. Don't come over this. Yeah. Don't come over here. I do like the flag.

Thanks, man. That's cool, man. We'll give you that. Yeah, that's fun, dude. I mean, I'm a fan of Missouri. Missouri flag's pretty weak. Those are bears on there. I don't know. You got some bears. What are the bears doing? You have a lot of brown bears? You definitely think it'd be like a different country.

It's got a very feel to that. Yeah, it does. Is that like French's flag? That's their color. It's French's. That's French's? They have the same flag, right? Same colors, yeah. So y'all are a little more French than New Orleans.

You're more French than people realize. Yeah, we are. I mean, it was Augustus Shoto, and I can't remember the other guy. It was his father-in-law that founded St. Louis, and I think that was before anywhere else in Missouri. Did y'all talk about that a lot at school? How did you remember that? You just remember that? I did read it. I got this idea during –

COVID that I was going to maybe do a one-man show about Missouri or something. Oh, that's fun. So I read one book. Yeah, yeah. Then I got onto another idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I did learn a little. A brief history of... Yeah, Laclede. Yeah, yeah. Do you know why Missouri is called the Show Me State? I think it's because they... I think we're...

kind of annoying to people where, you know, they would say, you know, this is the way things are. And the people in Missouri would be like, well, show me. I don't believe you unless you show me. I think that's true. Yeah. There was a congressman. I'm way on board with Missouri. There's two. The main theory is there's a congressman that said, I'm from Missouri. You have, you've got to show me. Like you can't just say it. And then there's another theory that some minors went to Colorado from Missouri and they didn't know what to do. So they called him to show me because you had to show him every little thing to do.

So they're saying we're stupid. Yeah, the second one. It goes two different ways. And I think I'm on board with both ways. I think I fit very well in Missouri. It's the worst mix. It's a person that is obstinate and stupid. I honestly think it might describe me as a whole. Like I need stuff to be shown to me. You're the show me comic. I'm the show me comic. Show me how to do it.

And then after show me, I go, how do I know you didn't really know how to do it? Yeah. Yeah. Somebody takes the time to help you out. And then in the end, you question their ego. I don't know. Are you any good at this? I remember the war series, the Cardinals, the Royals, the show me series. Yeah, that was 85. Heartbreaking. Yeah.

That game six that Don Dickinger? Yeah, it was a bad call. It was one of the worst calls in history. Do you know this? Part of the worst call. I don't know. When was it? Pull up the 85-hole series. 1985. Game six. Cardinals were big favorites, right? Yeah, and we were winning that game. And I think it would have been the third out. The final out of the game. And...

One of their guys ran to first base and the umpire, Don Denkinger, called the guy safe and he was definitely out. And the guy was getting death threats for about 20 years. Don Denkinger? Yeah. People take baseball pretty seriously. Well, now the umps are a lot better. Yeah.

Oh, you couldn't review it? Yeah, you couldn't review it. Yeah, yeah. And so when they review it, it's like super obvious. They show a couple more there. Like, oh, better English. Here's the thing. Here's the thing I need to admit. Because it's like that Bartman thing with –

Like Bartman, remember the guy that started? We talked about it. Yeah, okay. But after that, they had plenty of chances to win. That was game six. The next game, we could have fixed it all in one, but we got blown out. We got killed in the next game. Well, it does like you lose the... We're looking at it in slow motion. But I understand... Oh, that's by a long shot. Pretty clearly out. Yeah. But I understand...

uh, this being more frustrated. Cause it's an out versus Bartman's like, it's a foul ball. And like, you act like you don't even know if you, you weren't even probably going to catch it. Like, so it's like for them to come unraveled this, I guess you could be, I could see becoming unraveled. And so that's it. They screwed up in this inning a couple of times after that, like the Bartman thing. Um,

But I remember what happened. Have y'all won? Y'all won a World Series. Oh, we won in 82. Yeah, in Pujols. And then they won in 06 with Pujols and 11 with Pujols. Yeah. But I remember that game. I was at my girlfriend Lisa Cananzi's house. I was a senior in high school, and her dad was a big Cardinal fan. And her mom's sister, so her aunt lived in Kansas City, and –

she called, you know, to kind of give him a little, she wasn't a real baseball fan. She was just a nice lady. She called to give him, you know, give him a little bit of ribbing, you know, like general fun, you know, he was like swearing at her over the phone and she was crying and it was like,

It was that thing where she's like, oh, she got upset. I don't know. It was this serious. I'm on his side on that. Well, I'm probably on his side too. And the fact that I remember someone, Vayner lost him to his shoe and that happened to me. And someone called me and made fun of me. And you're like, you don't even care that he missed you. And so it's like, and you're like, I'm so upset.

that it's, I would get mad. Like you're just, it's just being mean. Yeah. Yeah. And so, but that's, it is, there's also a point where I wouldn't do that now. No, now, oh, there's all kinds of things I wouldn't do now. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, I even just age wise, you just go, I can't be this emotional about,

Right. Athletics. I can get frustrated. I can get whatever. I can have like, I don't know why they're doing this. Titans trade A.J. Brown. You're like, why are they doing that? I don't know why they're – blah, blah, whatever. And then I also have to go have a life. Yeah. I don't – I can't – Especially when there's no payoff ever. Yeah. You're like, I want to win. It would be a lot to me to win, but it's like I can't be wrapped up in – Yeah.

Yeah, I have those moments, though. I'm not proud. Everybody does. I get it. What's a recent one, Greg?

Well... You punched a fan. No, I mean, I remember when I was living in New York, my mom and dad came to the city to visit for like three or four days. And Cardinals happened to be in the NLCS that week. And we went, there's a bar down somewhere around 33rd that was a Cardinal bar, which that's the coolest thing about New York is you have these places where it's like...

Oh man, it's like I'm back in St. Louis. It was one of the funnest things ever about New York. So I took them there and they loved it. And, uh, we were watching the game and, uh, they lost to the giants in a terrible game. And, uh,

you know, I, me and my dad got in and it was my mom, you know, was there. And it was, I just like, why do we waste this time being mad about baseball? When I had my parents, my mom, uh, you know, passed away a few years later. So I'm like, why, why did I sit there arguing about baseball?

and mad about baseball when I had my mom in the city with me, you know, I was like so upset that day about the Cardinals is stupid. And, but that's, yeah. But then I feel like your mom just, you're like, it's hard not to, it's almost like you gave her a piece of home. Yeah, no, she loved it. She loved it. I mean, when she talked about, she's like that bar that had all the, I mean, they loved it, but I just think about how silly it was. And then I, I'm a big college wrestling fan and I'm a Missouri fan. And, uh,

You know, I've had – my dad and I, that's one of the things that we share. My dad was a high school wrestling coach. So we go – you know, we went to the Big 12 tournament this year. We go to a lot of stuff. And, I mean, we always wind up arguing about stuff. And, I mean, I'm so passionate about the arguments. And then on the way, you know, after I drop them off, I'm like, well, what am I doing? This is my dad. But I think, y'all, that almost weirdly might be a bonding thing. It probably is, yeah. It's a nice, like, you know, you're –

it's not bad. Like sometimes arguing...

You argue sports, so it's an outlet. Yeah. And so it's like, I get it. And you and your dad have this. I mean, there's not many you can probably argue with about wrestling. Yeah. You're not walking in a sports bar. Nah, it's not a lot of bars. You kidding me, dude? His ear thing's not even the right color. And you're like, yeah. Hey, guys, hey, grab the back of his neck. You can't grab the back of his neck. His shoulders run down. You're like, no one's...

Everybody's like, all right, dude. That is true. So you were a big-time wrestler. I don't know if people don't know this. All-American? Greg Warren was an all-American wrestler at Missouri. And this is the match that you guys are showing. That guy's name was Tim Krieger. He was a two-time national champ, and I think he got second twice, maybe second. He lost like twice in his college career. Yeah.

There were some days when I lost three, I think. Yeah. Like, this guy killed me. This is the one... Yeah, this guy was... Yeah. Why are you showing this one? It's the only thing on the internet. I think that... Yeah, it's probably the only match that... No, it was the first reason. Okay. Yeah. There was plenty of you winning. Yeah, this guy murdered me. There's a story. I...

I, this is a really good, a true, I wrestle this guy, not in this match. I wrestled him earlier in the year that year. That's at the big eight championships. Yeah. And I was a freshman and my coach was when he's West Roper. And he was one of those guys like, you know, he's like, Warren, I don't care who this guy is or what he's done. You go out there, you take it to him. You don't show him any respect, you know? And, uh,

I got on top of him in, I think it was the second period or something. And I had this move called the leg Szezeski. And it was pretty tough. Is it like named after that guy? Some guy named Szezeski. Yeah. Yeah. This guy named Tim Szezeski. Yeah. And I was pretty good at it and I got it. And I think he had a bad leg. I wasn't doing it because he had a bad leg, but I was wrenching him pretty good. Yeah. I was still getting beat, but I was wrenching him pretty good. And he was like, ah! And they had to stop the match. Yeah.

You know, when he went over to his corner to get taped up and I went over to my corner thinking, yeah, you know, Roper's going to be like proud of me. He's like- Like Karate Kid. Yeah. He's like, Warren-

I'm not sure I would have made him mad like that. He's like, cause he was like, basically like he was, he was hurt. He was going to cruise through the match and beat me about eight to five, you know, eight to two or something and just sort of take it easy. And he was, man, as soon as, as soon as we got back out there, it wasn't like he, he, he ripped my head off, man. It was a mission at that point, man. Yeah. And so like, that's so great. And so when you're wrestling, you,

Like, you guys are... Is it the point of you trying to pin them, right? Like, in this college wrestling... It's pretty rare that people get pinned in Division I college wrestling. And pinned... It happens a little bit. Is that the... It's over? It's over. Three seconds? Three seconds? No, it's...

Man, when I was wrestling, I think it's a two count, but now it's like a one count. Like if your shoulder blades are on the mat for a one count, it's over. Yeah. And so it does happen every now and then. So that thing that he's doing to me was the thing that I was doing to him. It's called a leg. He's just ripping me.

And so how does it stop? Like, what do you do? Do you tap out or something? No, no. It's three periods, like a three-minute period, a two-minute period, a two-minute period. It's their scoring, you know? So you're not trying to, like, could you say I'm out or quit or something? No. No. I mean, I guess you could. Well, I mean, you could just roll over and get pinned, you know? Oh, get up and run away, too, theoretically. But, like, so it really wouldn't have gone over well. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know. He loses. Yeah, that would have been. So the point of like wrestling is like, it's just three. So it's almost pretty ruthless because it's three minutes and there's no, like they're just trying to score points. Yeah. Yeah. So every move and every, so it's basically like every move that hurts you is a point. Um,

Not as much. I mean, to go on your back a lot of times, it's pain. Like a lot of times it's sort of like you're in pain, you're in pain, and to release the pain, you're going to go on your back. And then if the guy holds you there for a certain amount of points, a certain amount of counts, he gets a certain amount of points. But, you know, you start the match on your feet and one guy's trying to get control of the other guy and that's two points. And then you get out. It's a little boring.

So this dude was like, yeah, but I mean, it's, it's, this guy was one of the best I've ever wrestled. This guy was, uh, he was a maniac. Yeah. I mean, it's, yeah, it's crazy that he, and he seemingly did that leg thing to you to just be like, yeah, I can do that too, man. Yeah. Like, you know, yeah, he was, and you wrestled the same time as Kurt Angle, right? Yeah. I think I was probably maybe a year or two younger than him and maybe two. He was at Clarion when I was there. Yeah. Um,

Clarion School? Yeah, Clarion's college in Pennsylvania. Yeah. What? The hotel? Yeah, the hotel? Yeah, he went out. You guys wrestled for, you know, sponsors. Yeah, I was with Courtyard by Marriott for a couple years.

I'll tell you who you don't want to wrestle, the Red Roof guys. I'll tell you what, that was Rudy's show. Man, those guys are hungry. Yeah, yeah.

Is there anything about professional wrestling when you watch it that's like interest to you as far as wrestling tactics? No, that's just, no, that's just, could you enjoy it? Yeah. I think from like a, like I thought it was funny when I was a kid. I remember going, I thought it was pretty funny and I, yeah, I liked it. Yeah. It's, uh, yeah. So many people realize like, and you don't ever talk about it, but you're an all American. You were, uh,

you know, Mike Vecchione, who wrestled at Penn State. Yeah, yeah. Mike Vecchione would always say that we always talk about you because he would talk about wrestling. And then Vecchione would be, we'd be like, because people were like, oh, Greg Warren used to wrestle. Could y'all wrestle with Vecchione? He's like, Greg would rip my head off. He goes, it wouldn't even be, you couldn't even watch it. It would be unfair. Not today. Vecchione's in a lot better shape than I am. Well, we're going to see. We're about to bring him in. Mike, come on in. Mike, come on in. This is terrible, man. Y'all just have to start doing it. No, he's, uh,

Vecchione's a maniac. You know, he's one of the funniest guys I know and a great guy. But he was a good high school wrestler. I think he either won the state in Florida or got second in Florida. He was. Yeah, he was a good high school wrestler. And...

And he decided to walk on at Penn State, which was like a top three program. Yeah. You know, I mean, he, and he was, Florida was not a great wrestling state. I mean, he was a good wrestler and you know, Vecchione, if you've seen the way he writes jokes, he's like, he was just like, okay, I'll just work as hard as I can. Yeah. And I'll be there. But like,

He should have gone somewhere to some mid-level, you know, and they would have brought him around. Like he goes in and immediately he's probably like fifth string behind like some of the biggest recruits in the country. Like I wouldn't have gone to Penn State. And I was a guy who, you know, I started wrestling when I was five years old. My father's my coach. You know, I had probably better qualifications coming out. I'd wrestled in all, you know, Vecchione was a good football player in high school. And, you know, I'd...

I wrestled all year round almost. I mean, so, but yeah, he's a, he's a madman. I was like, why'd you go there? He's like, well, I just, you know, I wanted to go to the best place. Yeah. Did you win? Yeah. I mean, that's fake. Yeah. Did you win? You won state and all that, like high school. I won state twice in high school. Or were you ranked in high school at coming out? Were you like top? No, I don't. You know when I do that or. It wasn't as prevalent as it is now. I mean, I think there was some publication where I was mentioned or something, but Missouri wasn't,

usually you had to win one of these national tournaments. And usually in high school, there's a big junior national tournament. I did it after my junior year and I didn't place, but you know, I won probably like 10 matches and still didn't place. And I lost to some of the same guys I lost to in college. Like, you know, like and then my senior year,

I went to West Point my freshman year of college. So I didn't do any of that stuff. I was in basic training that summer. So I went to the Army for my whole first year of college and then transferred to Missouri. You know...

Who else, which is A, for you to get into West Point is impressive. I quit. I should make that clear. It's just the fact that you got in. The fact that you were going to do that is unreal. You know who else? Shane Gillis went to West Point for one year. Oh, did he? Wow. Yeah. Oh, I'd love to talk. I don't know Shane, but I'd love to talk because we did – he and I did then. It's pretty rare. Usually, if you make it through the first year, you stay. Yeah. Yeah.

I think he made it the first year, but he went and then ended up transferring. Maybe he didn't make it the whole way, but I don't know. I don't remember. Yeah. He played football. Shane Gills played football. Really? And then went to Elon and played football after that. Oh, yeah. Is that North Carolina? I don't know. Yeah. I think so. I didn't get that deep into it with him. Yeah, that's pretty cool. I had no idea, man. I'd love to talk to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I should. Yeah. Very funny guy. And then-

Yeah. That's very interesting though. What I was going to say, if some heckler rushed the stage down, are there moves you could do to take them down? Yeah, man. I mean, I'm not in, in, in shape like wrestling shape by any stretch, but I think there's some, I remember, um, you know, when I first moved to New York, uh,

we were talking about earlier, I was walking, like I was, I was just walking. You're on your walks. Yeah, I was on my walk. Yeah. I was on my walk in the, like the East Village. I lived in the Lower East Side and I was on my walk. Yeah. And this guy just was like, behind me, he was like, hey man, what are you looking at? And I'm like, you know, nothing, you know, nothing, man. I just, and then I go, nothing. And then he's, what are you looking at, man? And I was like, hey man, nothing, man. And I just kept walking and he sprinted up and he,

He got my face and I said something and he punched me. Like it was a pretty good shot. I mean, I was dumb enough to like, I could not have set my chin on a tee more clearly. I was like, where are you going to hit me right there? You know, and he punched me in the face and for about, it was probably like a four second

pause where I was like, you feel like a victim in the city sometimes, you know, where you're just like, oh, everybody's around me. I just need to be. And then I was like, oh, what am I going to do? I'll just finish up my walk, you know? And then I was like, wait a minute, man. I practice doing this every day for 20 years. I practice fighting. And I just, I just like, I just shot a single leg to the right side and I picked his leg up and he went right down. And then I'm like on top of him screaming at him. And then within about five seconds, I was like, oh, I'm about to,

I'm fighting a heroin addict. Like, you know, like this guy, there was something wrong with him, you know, like it was, and he had nothing after that punch, man. He had, it was all in that point. It wasn't a bad punch, but after that he had zero, you know? And yeah, I still remember that. And I, and I like was like screaming at him and I was like, get out of here, man, or whatever. And there's this dude, of course, there's some guy with a cell phone, you know, taping it. And he's like, yo dog, why he hit you? I'm like, I don't know, man. He's crazy. He's like,

You a champ, dog. You a champ. And then it was over. And if that happened in the suburbs where I live in St. Louis right now, it would be on the news or in the paper. But people in New York were like, yeah, it's this. Yeah, that guy probably deleted the video. Yeah, exactly. We have that video right here. Oh, yeah. Trust me, I'd rather see that video than what you're showing right now. I know that's what I'm saying.

about me. But I remember I got home and I called, I called two people. I called the, my brother who lived in Jersey for a long time. He's like, ah, it's just the East coast, man. And then I called Vecchione who I'd met through Nate. I didn't know Mike before I moved to, uh, to New York, but I knew this guy's a wrestler. So I knew I'd like him. And I called Vecchione and told him the story. And then I called somebody else and they were like,

dude, that thing's going to wind up on like the internet. That thing's going to make your career. Hey man, I have a comedy central special. It's like, nah, man, it wasn't that good. This thing, this is the thing that's going to make your career. And, uh, yeah. Uh,

Yeah, so- So you know how to do it if something happens. I think if some- Now, if it was a kid that could wrestle, like when up until about, I'm 53 now, when I was in my early 40s, maybe late 30s, my dad was still coaching and I could go with really good high school kids, not college kids. And then a few years later, I was up in-

I just haven't done it. And I was up in Columbus and the, the club owner there, Dave Stroop, uh, Dave's a friend of mine, a great guy and used to wrestle. And he, uh,

He had me, his son was at some wrestling camp and I went to this wrestling camp and I was showing, mostly just like trying to make him laugh and showing some, showed him some technique. And then there was a college kid there and like an idiot. I'm like, yeah, I'll go a little bit. And I'm, I almost had a heart attack. And I remember, have you ever been like so exhausted? I like had a cold the rest of the week. I had a cold the rest of the week.

And the show, I don't know. People are like, well, that's not possible. I know. I swear this. I had a cold after that. I got so bad. I had a cold and I was like, I'll never, never again. I can't work out. I'll get sick. Your immune system was down. It did, man. I swear I got a cold. Yeah. That's so funny. Yeah. So yeah, I can't go with somebody that knows how to go anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I could take, you know. What do y'all do when y'all go? Y'all like, it's like you just like trying to get each other down and like, you know. I mean. There's like a playful. Is there, is it getting real? Like shadow boxing almost? Yeah. There's, that's become a lot more popular. It's sort of like what they call sparring where you're going about 50% and Mike's alma mater, which Penn State now is overwhelmingly the dominant school. Oh, really? Yeah. They've won like,

10 out of the last 11 championships or something like, and that guy that coaches there, Kale Sanderson, it's all about that. You hear those guys talk. He's like, yeah, we do a lot of play wrestling, you know, and they, and they do a lot of sparring. When I was in college, it was, you know, you're drilling, you're practicing technique or you're going full out live and you're just, you know, trying to tear each other's head off. And that we did too much of that back then. Like we just, cause I didn't, I think I could have been better. You know, like if I, I stopped, I,

It's almost the equivalent of a comic who stops writing. You know, like I was going to practice every day. I was trying hard. I was dedicated, but I'd stopped working on new technique. And I wish I could go back. You know, my intellectual curiosity just sort of drained out of me because probably because I was like,

dreading the fact that we're going to beat the hell out of each other for the next, you know, hour, hour and a half. You're just looking at it. Like, yeah, you just, the older you get, and you've done it forever. Yeah, I was just getting through it, you know? And, you know, I've been in places like that in comedy, and I look back, I'm like, what was I doing, man?

I wasted that whole nine months worrying about my career or worrying about whether my career is when I could have been writing jokes. Well, it's like you worry instead of make it. Like you're making it. Yeah. And a lot happens a lot. It's very easy to fall into. But you sit there and you just worry about it when you go, well, I can decide it.

I can make it. And then that's where you get the decision. Because then if you at least are trying to make it, you get a concrete decision of yes or no versus when you're kind of half doing it. No one can really say yes or no. You could think you deserve – it's like a very thin –

like blurred line. And, but if you're like, well, I, here it is. And I finished the product. Yeah. Now you have to tell me yes or no. Yeah. If you say no, then I know. Oh, I know why. Yeah. And I can adjust. Yeah. That's, that's a great point. I mean, and it's such a cool thing that we can all do. Like all of us can do that now. Yeah. Like I'm going to write this thing this morning. I'm going to sit down and work. I do it. I would never say my, like, uh, I always think I would, the people like to have our regrets and stuff like that. Like, like career regrets. Like,

And it's like, I think I'm always like, I'm pretty big. Like, you know, whatever happened, happened. There's a reason it happened. I wouldn't go back and change anything. It's like, I needed to go through all this stuff. But there is some that when I think back, the only thing I would have probably done when I was younger is like, it's like, don't go eat as bad and hang out and drinking. And like some of that stuff is like, I wish I would have,

I was still working. Yeah. But it's like, you're, I was, it was, it made it hard because it's like, I'm staying out till, which at the beginning, I mean, sometimes you need to do this, but it's, there should have been a point where I should have probably like,

calmed it down sooner than I did. And I think I could have maybe sped up a little bit just because you would have had the energy to speed up. Right. You were hanging with a crew that was, you know, the part of that though is like, you're around all these funny people. Because I know you were in your 20s in New York with all these monsters of comedy. Yeah. Yeah. Almost like I wouldn't mess with the 20s. The 30s I would maybe be like, I would probably tone them down. Like 35, you start going like, all right, man, like,

This is happening. So let's, you know, focus on, but I don't know. I mean, look, I can't, nothing's sped up. Like I can't, you know, it's, it's,

You know, I don't know. As I say this, you're like, but then I have a lot of experiences and stories and that stuff that I wouldn't have had if I would have done some other stuff. Not that you need them because of drinking, but just I stayed maybe in New York longer than maybe I would have if I would have, you know, and that was a good thing that I stayed there longer. Yeah. So I don't, yeah, it's tough. Yeah. And you quit in your late thirties, didn't you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you, I didn't know that. Yeah. I think it's drinking, not comedy. Yeah.

A lot of people think comedy. I think 2019, I can never remember. 2019, I was at Charlotte Comedy Zone. Last comedy club I did. Next thing I was going to do was theaters. And so it was the last comedy club I did. Really? And then I knew if I didn't, I knew I couldn't carry it on. If I wanted to get to the level that I wanted to, I knew I wouldn't. Because you would go hang out at these clubs and you'd...

You just would feel, you know, Thursday would be fun and the rest of the week you'd feel miserable and you're just trying to get through the show. Yeah. And too many of those where you're doing the same set, you're doing the, you know, you're not thinking of a new joke because you're like, I'm just trying to get past this. Yeah. And then you're, so I knew if I, when I was going to theaters, I was like, well, if I want to keep going, I have to end the thing that makes me be lazy. Yeah.

And then now I'm kind of at the point where it's food. So I'm seeing as now being 43, I'm like, all right, well, food's a kind of a problem. Like, it's like, I don't know. I mean, I had, I've been doing good in the last night. I got Laura a little chocolate cake for Mother's Day. Didn't even want one. She didn't. I did.

But I just, I go, you know what? I'm going to give her a cake. Laura mentioned cake two weeks ago. Like she said one day, I think I like a piece of cake. So I go buy Mother's Day cake. And I'm like, got you this cake. She hasn't eaten it. I ate the most out of it. And then I got some regular ice cream. I usually eat Halo Top now. But Evan, I got, well, I need regular ice cream. So, I mean, literally, she was at her mom's all day. And she gets home. And then...

And then I'm like, huh? Happy Mother's Day. And then she's like, all right, well, I'm going to go to bed. And I go, I'll probably just get in this cake. You know what I mean?

Laura, before I bought the cake, because I bought all this yesterday, Laura said, she goes, I'm stopping to get ice cream. So she was already getting a dessert. And I still go, you'll be happy when I get this. I got to get this cake for you because you mentioned it in passing. Yeah. But I've learned, so food is like, I can now tell that last night I was in bed and I could feel my thoughts just don't stop.

And I'm like, oh, it's like, yeah, dude, well, I ate a piece of cake and ice cream at 10. Yeah. And I'm trying to go to sleep by 1 or 1.30. You're like, well, it's not going to happen. No. That thing never ends, though, the food thing. It never ends. And I don't ever not go to McDonald's in my life. I love McDonald's. I love chain plate. I grew up eating all that stuff. Yeah.

I'm not against all these things, but I've learned that it's, I have to realize it's being aware of your body and like being aware of like, well, I don't feel good. And I didn't understand that because when I was in, you know, when I was eating McDonald's and drinking every night in New York, it's like, you just get used to feeling bad.

And, uh, Tim, I might've said it on here before, but Tim Young, I don't know if you, yeah, man. Yeah. But Tim Young, I did a cruise ship with him once and he said, he was like, he's just shredded. I mean, just perfect body. And knows all the holistic stuff. All of it. Yeah. And he was doing it. Uh, when we did this cruise, I mean, it's like not even like it's the fad. It's, it's like, you know, now you go places like calories are listed everywhere. And, uh,

You know, they have healthy options, kind of, you know, even McDonald's, you can try to find something. And he would bring his own food on the cruise and he would eat his phone. And I was like, well, why do you think people don't eat good? And he said, he goes, well, I think people don't know how good it feels.

and they would be addicted to that filling if they knew. And then that always stuck with me. I still plow through eating bad, and I still have trouble with it. But I remember that always stuck with me just because I was like – because, you know, you have days when you eat good, and you're like, yeah. If you thought of that like you thought of alcohol, you would be the healthiest person because you would be addicted to like –

The feeling you would get from alcohol and stuff would be, I mean, you're just in a good mood every day. Yeah. You wake up, you have energy, you wouldn't even need coffee. Like you just are like, golly, I feel awesome. Today is all, and you're like happy. And it's like, yeah, because you're just eating now, maybe not going to the extremes of that.

But it's like if you can eat good and then go eat one bad meal just so you know the next day you're like, yeah, I don't feel good. And you know that you don't feel good. Otherwise, when you're doing it every day, every day is miserable. So, you know, miserable in the sense that the older you get, you start. That's what now in my 40s, you're like, yeah, I feel it way more than I ever did. Oh, yeah. Yeah. 50s, it's even more pronounced. Yeah. Yeah, I can imagine.

I won't ever get there, but I'm skipping going to 60. You already look at your 50s as, it's funny when you look at these ages. I remember 40 and then 43. Now, 43 used to be so old and now I look at 40 and I go, dude, I'm like the youngest person that's ever done comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think that in your head. Because you're looking at 45 and you're like, well, that's going to be old.

And then 46 doesn't feel that old for some reason. 46, 47, I think is kind of like, you're kind of like, everything's okay. And then you're, and then I imagine 50, but then I could see 50. You just see yourself going like, well, you're 50. You're like, it's nice. You know what you want. You know what you're doing. You know, like you're just, it is a little bit. For me, 45 through 50 was the one where I,

I, well, it was also, cause I didn't, I had this day job for the first 10 years of my career. I didn't really, I did a little comedy, but I didn't quit my day job until I was like 33. Yeah. So 45, like right when I was in sort of a couple of years in New York and doing stuff on the road and I'd done some stuff, but right around then I started thinking, man, I think I'm getting pretty good at comedy. And then that is right around the time when I started looking in the mirror being like,

you gotta be kidding me. Like, this is not, this is not, I can't turn this around. You know, like, I just started looking a lot different in like that. I kind of held it off. Like when I was like 40, I think I looked like I was 30. Yeah. When I was 50, I looked like I was 50, you know? But it's, but that mindset, like it is, I understand that. I mean, I think about that too, where I think,

you know am i too old like i talk about my act about being my i talk about my age i am and you're you know you see other like sometimes people don't say what their age is and sometimes you think well should i not be saying like you know i feel like i shouldn't be reminding people that i'm you know i'm 40 oh yeah yeah anything this stuff but you're an unreal comedian amazing comic so funny like one of the top comics everybody is giant giant fans of you and uh

When you have an act and people go see it, it doesn't matter. And it's like... You're almost like... Yeah, dude. You get into the Hollywood world somewhat if you're 20. Yeah. But then where you...

create more where you can, the, the, it's not, I want to say money with wealth, but the wealth of fans and the wealth of people following you is like, that's all. If you're on the ground doing that stuff, I mean, that's how you can become Walmart. Like you can become these, you're something that doesn't go away. Yeah. Create an act. And it's someone that can, they can hang their hat on. They know I'm going to have a good time. I know what I, I know what it is. I can't wait to see. And it's a good person. It's a good, like, I think,

I think it's, it's, it, it, I appreciate you saying that it's more fun. And then I think about who I like. And then most of the guys I like are, are pretty experienced. Although you see guys like him and you're like, this guy figured it out way early. But you, yes, but Aaron's very funny. Uh, but Aaron will get, will, will be you like, it's like Aaron's,

very funny you were very funny it's like the guys that are good are good comics you can see that they're good comics and you can see that they're true comics in the sense of like they're doing it the way as an older person as you get older you're like you can look at them going you're doing it the right way you're doing it Aaron's doing it the right way he's going up every night he's building this act and all that kind of stuff

So that's what you can see, and that's a good – I think that's a great thing versus when people are – when you see the young kind of – there's a new wave of it where sometimes there's these people you don't know, and some of them have specials, and some of them – and you're like, they don't have the experience. And I just look at it, and the hardest part I always thought of when you came up is to – you want – another one, Kurt Metzger said this, and I liked it – everything you want, it comes –

It comes slower than you want, but quicker than you think. Yeah. And it's like that idea that you, you know, you think, well, I want it now. And then it's like, well, it's going to take a long time. And it's not, but when you get it and then when you get to that point and you're like, you know, I earned, like, you're like, you feel more ownership over it. And the fact that like, dude, I had to go up every night for every day for, you

20 years. Yeah. Like, or whatever it is, you're, you get in the situation, you talk about those bad shows earlier where you're like, it's just not going to go bad. Like your show is going to be, if it's bad, it's like, well, the audience was yelling though. Like, it's like, it's some, there's a reason.

Listen, you're just not going to go bomb. Yeah. Because you're just too good of a – like you're too protected. Yeah, you don't have the badge. You know, every now and then it's usually outside of a comedy club or some sort of weird venue. Yes. I had a bad one in front of the Cardinals one time. But it's the situation. But it was – It's an unfair situation. Like it's a – You get over it a lot quicker though. You told me the last time I saw you, you said you've been in comedy long enough to know where you think something's going to make your career –

or something so bad it's going to break your career. But you've learned the highs aren't as high and the lows aren't as low. No, it's like some, it's a continuum. Yeah, there's, you know, which I hate to say that because there are, especially for someone like you, like there will be some magic moment. There could be this thing for you that completely opens up one night, like, you know, you go to Hollywood and somebody could see it. So it could happen. But for the most part, it's usually like. You can't be trying to find it. No, yeah. Don't go looking for it. When it comes, it comes. Just be, make sure, you got to make sure you're ready for it.

And so like that's the where the work comes in and people don't want to do the work and they want to find a trick around it. Well, you just got to have the work come in. And when that thing happens, if you're a good comedian, if you're a very funny comedian, you're not going to not work.

Like it truly talent does matter. And like people and whether someone gets a pop and they get a rise and they could even make a few million dollars or something, but then it will catch up to go that, that was a phase. I mean, you could look at like Dane Cook. I, I'm, I think Dane Cook is very funny. I think his specials were great. I'm big Dane Cook fan. Yeah. But it's like Dane Cook had the rise of like where he had these, there's a lot of college kids, a lot of all these people are going to see him. This is the giant thing. And then we're Dane Cook's at now. And, and,

he's not in a bad place in his career, but it's not to the height that it was. And cause it's like some stuff can have that. So you're like, well, I look at it as like, well, how can you create this audience that's going to stay and they're going to build with you? And I think they got to grow. And that's where an audience that I feel like kind of grows with you. And they, you know, you just talk about you and your world and then they're, they relate to it when on their own timeframe. So if you have, I'm talking about having a kid, um,

Well, then you can hopefully be like, you know, there might be someone that's 10 years old right now and they might listen to this in 25 years and they could be like, ah, I relate to that. You know, it's like you're just trying to do something that like relatability is what I'm a big fan of because you're talking about experiences and stuff that people can do and then they can relate to it and then they draw off of it. It doesn't have to be this...

kind of, you know, if it's a fad that you're talking about, it's like, well, that fad could go away. I mean, look at clothes. Like, you can't talk about one thing and then, like, clothes come back. I mean, these bell bottoms. I do it from stage. He does it from stage. Right, right from the stage. What clothes you got on? What's under that t-shirt? Yeah. That Auburn shirt? What?

What do you do? You wear like a wife beater or you wear a full t-shirt? He goes, I do the full t-shirt. He goes, I should do that too. This guy's good. This guy's on his. This guy's crazy, dude. He'll cut you to the quick, man. I'm sitting up front and the guy goes, you got a belt on? My shirt was untucked. How do you know I have a belt on? It's the best I've seen. I

I mean, he asked me, but I think he knew. I meant to tell you this. So I saw you, but your wrestling, I do like to, I love, I mean, you were an All-American. I believe your name and stuff is all on the wall at Missouri. Yeah.

That pic of him? No, I don't. Oh, well. No, you guys just got that one video of me taking a beating. Yeah. The only one we got is just. Oh, okay. But you're, so you know who I saw when we went on vacation? I saw Michael Chandler.

Oh, yeah, man. I know him. Yeah. Oh, I know. And so I told, I saw him and I ran into Michael Chandler. Actually, UFC this weekend won this weekend. Yeah. Awesome. Crazy knockout. He's the guy. I'm sure you've seen the videos where he kicked Tony Ferguson, kicked the guy. I'm sure people have seen pictures. Even if you don't watch UFC, he kicked him straight with his foot.

And, uh, but it's, so I saw him, he was at the pool and I saw him and I'm a, I'm a big UFC fan. Are you? Okay. Yeah. And then I think it's the, I think they're just doing it the best right now. Almost of all sports. They're just, they, they sell shit. They sell shows very well. Like the, the fights are great. You're the drama that's around it. Like it's, I'm a, I'm a giant fan. And, uh, so, uh, I saw him and I was like, Hey, Michael Chandler, right. And I talked to him, whatever. And, uh,

It was very cool. But then we talked about Missouri, and I talked about you. Because I told him I was a comic, and I go, oh, I'm friends with Greg Warren. And he goes, oh, Greg, because you ran with his brother, I guess. I knew his – Eric and I – his brother's an actor. We did a couple projects. I put him in some videos. Yeah, yeah. That's what he said. Yeah. And I was like – and I asked him, I said, Greg's like the real deal, right? He goes, oh, yeah, dude. He's like – his name's on the wall. It's like his face is on the wall, man.

He's like an All-American. They go, he's like the real, real deal. And so it was like cool to... It's not like you're standing there with me. Yeah. Where he has to say something nice. That's really nice, Mike. It's outside of it. Yeah. He's like, oh, yeah, dude. Greg Warren's like... That's nice. Real legit. Yeah, Mike, I mean, I...

I've always stayed close to the program. They would have me go do – the coach and I are friends. Back when Mike was wrestling there, he'd have me come in before practice and do like 20 minutes for those guys to try to get them a laugh before practice or whatever. But Chandler is insane because he was never a high school state champion. And then he was an All-American in college, and then he's –

I mean, he's fought for the title. Yeah. And imagine they're shot at it too. Yeah, yeah. He's a good guy. He trains here in Nashville. Oh, does he really? I thought he was in San Diego. Okay. Or maybe, I don't know if he trains here. Maybe he lives here or something. But he trained, or maybe he's in Florida when he trained for a fight. Yeah. I think when he's not fighting, he might be here. Yeah, man, he's a good guy. His family's really nice too. I know his mom and dad a little bit. Yeah, it's good-hearted. I mean, him and his wife, I think they adopted too. I mean, we met his son.

which you saw him this weekend if you watched the fight, and they just adopted another baby. And, you know, which is, you know, adoption's like, my mom and I said it's the most selfless thing you could do. And so it's, yeah, they're good people. I love, like, being in the pool too with them, just in the fact that, that sounds, just being around them. Because when we got out of the pool, he'd take his shirt off. I was like, God.

Yeah, I blew him. And then, no, but like in the pool, we're sitting there and you're just like, you could beat up, I mean, maybe, probably 95% of the state. Oh, yeah, man. Much less this hotel. Like you walk around with just no fear. Yeah. Ever. Yeah, because the wrestlers...

You know, a lot of fights wind up in a wrestling match. You don't usually stare. But then those... He can also punch somebody. Like, my hands are tiny. I couldn't hit anybody and do any damage. Like, he can punch somebody and kick them. And, like, yeah, he's...

really tough guy so i didn't know you were a fan so like and i'm not a giant mma guy but i i followed him and then i was i'm friends with ben askren so uh cool who's a yeah i just i love that guy's philosophy on on life and yeah athletics and everything yeah and tyron woodley is a st louis guy and wrestled at missouri too oh yeah i knew a little bit i saw him once uh at

I don't know any of these guys, but I saw him once at Disney World. And I try to write a joke about it. I was like, you're looking at this guy that could beat up. You just think there's not a man in this park.

There's just not. Right. Like that on that level. I mean, I think he was a champion, UFC champion. Yeah. And so on that level, you're like, there's not a, you're the, it's crazy to go like, I'm a hundred percent know that you're the toughest guy that in this part, just no matter what. Right. Even the guy that thinks he can fight good. He's not, it's not this. Not with Tyron Woodley. Yeah. And so you're looking at him and then I, I loved, it was the idea of like, yeah,

being a dad like i'm i've i got this just little glimpse i've no no i don't know him but if he's a yeah i'd imagine he's a sweet guy man yeah you see him he's just really really nice guy you could see him be like a great dad and the reason you could see it was like that his five-year-old daughter i mean just talk to him like he was a chump and it's like it's my it's the thing that i love about children too is like you know she's just like tired like it's a five-year-old kid

but it's just so funny that, or, you know, just getting a little like sleepy and they all kind of go now, now she's doing that kind of stuff. And you want to be, you're just looking there like your dad would beat up the whole park. Yeah.

And you're the only one that has the nerve to talk back to this man. And you're five. I never thought of it that way. It's just such a funny, like, hey, don't upset him because I don't want him to take it out on me. God, I hope you make that into a bit. That's a great observation. Yeah, I love it. Just it's the idea of just children, the way they talk back to adults that could beat them up. But the only way for them to do that, I believe, is, I mean, there has to be love there.

Cause you can, a kid's not going to do it if there's fear of that they're going to get. So there, it shows me that there's got to, there's it's, it's her dad and she just is, nothing else matters to her. Right. Right. And it's like my, you know, it's like, it's, there's, there's a lot of love there. If he was a bad father, she wouldn't do it. She would be aware of who he was. She'd be scared of it. Yeah. The fact that,

you know, her mid-fans are gigantic. And I love, I just, that little moment, I didn't even, I told him, I walked by and said, big fan, like that was it. But I just, I remember seeing it and it was just like, yeah, the funny is a five-year-old girl. She's like, she's like, she's not being a bad kid. She's just tired. Like it's a throwing a fit. And she's just like, I don't want to do it. You know? And he's like, come on, like trying to get her to do something. And you're like, he can make anybody do anything. Yeah.

literally there's not a person in this park yeah that could talk to him and he would kill him yeah he would go to jail for life yeah just the only one if you wanted to say something to him have her do it come to her yeah and just be like I don't like your dad's parking job do you mind telling him that he parked outside the lines just so there you go that's the angle yeah yeah might be a bit I need time I need more time so uh

All right. We need to be, I mean, we're, we're have to come back and we're do Missouri with you. This is probably a lot of Missouri stuff that we didn't do. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you guys took shots at the mule. I don't know if I want to, you might not come back. I get it. I get it. I mean, start your own mule. You called our animal middle act or something. Middle act is being gracious. Open mic. I think your, your, your animals, the animal that picks you up from the airport.

I mean, it's got to carry you back. Takes you to radio in the morning. That's pretty much it. Uh, uh, so Greg Warren, check every website, uh, all your tour dates. Greg's, uh, an amazing, amazing comic. I remember hearing him, uh, when I was first starting, uh,

Bob and Tom, you were on Bob and Tom a lot. You did a lot of stuff with them. Bob and Tom was a big radio show for me when I was going to start. I listened to, I read Water Meter, so you just had Bob and Tom on, and I would listen to all the comics, and I was like, I want to be a comic, so it was like such an insight to go do it. And then one of the things that I always remember that you did, I don't know if you remember it, I featured for you, I opened for you at Lexington, the comedy club. Oh, yeah, man. And you bought my

you bought my lunch and you were, and it was like, you're like, this is what headline, you know, it's like you take the open act, the feature act, you take them out for lunch, you buy them lunch. And I remember that always stuck with me. Oh man. That's the first time I met you.

I drove over. I was in Louisville and I drove over and met you guys. Oh, yeah. At Lexington? Yeah. He said, you didn't buy Brian's shoes. I ain't buying your shoes. He was like, I can't buy the whole restaurant. All right. Well, I was going to buy Bates lunch. And then he's like, hey, what kind of shoes you got there? I told him and I was like, man, this guy just put me down. He's the best. Just on point. He is the best. It's like Don Rickles. Real like Don Rickles.

What is that, overalls? That's nice. So, Greg, check out where he's touring, everything. Your website, y'all. Did you have anything coming up this coming weekend? This comes out this week. Not working much? I'm doing a bunch of corporate stuff. Oh, that's good. I'm going to a wedding on Saturday. You got to do time in that? No, I hope not, man. Yeah. That's good.

It never goes good. No. You know they want to ask. No. Is it like a close friend? No, it's a guy that's a comic. So if anybody's doing it, he's doing it. Oh, that's perfect. Oh, that's even like a relief. Yeah. Yeah. They wouldn't care that I'm a comic there. Yeah. No, that's great. Yeah. I'm in Vegas this weekend, Spokane, Vancouver.

This is like the last – this month – I mean, I have a bunch of summer dates and stuff like that, and then the fall will start up. This is the last big run, though, of this. So I'm gone. And, yeah, Spokane. I mean, a lot of places. It's all on my website, Vegas This Weekend.

Fresno, Santa Barbara. Nice. It was from Canada. We're going to Vancouver. Wow. And then, so come out, check that out. This Wednesday, I'm in Atlanta at the City Winery with Jen Fullwaller. I guess this comes out. So if you missed that, come to Aaron and I's show in Woodstock, Georgia. Woodstock, Georgia, May 26th. Brian and I are co-headlining. Then I'm at the Chattanooga Comedy Catch League.

later that weekend and then austin cap city the next week oh good please come to that i'd like to move some tickets that's great yeah go go to austin austin cap city is a big club man that's a big deal it's a big deal to get to headline that that's a really big deal it's one of the coolest places man yeah yeah i'm pumped yeah it's a it's a it's a very big deal for us as comics and when you get a headline cap city it's a um it's an honor and so it's like uh yeah

So if you're going to pick one, just go to that. Don't worry about the other shows. Last thing I want to say, Salt Lake City, Wise Guys, Brian and I will both be there at the end of June. Another great one. That's a big one, too. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good one. When you work Wise Guys, it's a big deal. If you can't get tickets to see Nate, see the other two-thirds of the podcast. Arguably two-thirds.

Your partners. Yeah. That's right. My business partner here. Life insurance. I'm getting life insurance because of Aaron. Y'all talk. Y'all have a meeting to talk about what you would like to present. And I tell you whose idea it was. And then you have to tell on each other. Then you have to go down together. I go, well, this is the dumbest.

You're like, what if we did a barn door as a table? What are y'all even, what ideas are y'all? Bates did it. Bates thought I didn't. We'll be doing a lot of crowd work. What a barn door table. I don't know if I can, I see it. And Aaron's like, we didn't bring it.

So I can't see it. He goes, no, no, I'll have it in about two months. It's the idea. A little callback. That's how you do comedy. That's a good button on that. A little button on that. That is a button. That is a button. All right, everybody, we love you. Thank you for listening. As always, we appreciate it. None of that's lost on us. Can't thank you enough. Thank you very much. See you next week. Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network.

Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.