Hercules in New York LIVE! w/ Abbi Jacobson (HDTGM Matinee)
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What do you do when you only have two locations, Central Park and a dingy hotel room? You make a movie. We saw Hercules in New York, and you know what that means. Oh!

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That's a good look, Lou. And hello, people of New York City! We are live at Irving Plaza. Very excited to do a live show with you. Oh my gosh. So exciting. So exciting to be here talking about a quintessential New York film.

Joining me tonight to talk about this movie, the one, the only, Jason Manzugas! Go fuck yourself, New York! What's up, jerks? Take that Zooks. Take that Zooks. That better be Zooks and not Boozer. I will straight up come out there. I will come out there and I will fuck you up. Also, join me welcoming my co-host, June Diane Raphael! We got some Junes.

Both their names are perfect for booze. They could be booze or not. And our very special guest tonight, you know her from Broad City, please welcome Abby Jacobson! Oh my god, Abby! Well, well, well, well, well. Wow. How we doing so far, everybody? Good? We haven't even fucking started. This movie is... Awesome? Amazing.

I'm surprised I never heard of it. No. And I want to now watch it at least once or twice a year. I feel like this is a movie we could do once a year on the show and still have a lot to talk about. There's no way we're going to answer all the questions tonight. Okay, so...

Let's just get into it. Abby, your first impression. Because when you see the poster and you put on the movie, I want to see what everyone thought in the first couple of minutes of it. I was surprised that he kept acting like that.

after the movie. This was like introducing, and wait, wasn't it Arnold Strong? Yes. So I'm like, this was like introducing Arnold Strong and then he blew up after this. This, Arnold also. So I was like, where's it gonna be? The big, you know. Also Arnold Stang. Arnold Stang, Arnold Stang and Arnold Strong together. Wait, is Arnold Stang is the guy, Prezzi.

I literally was like, does he go by two names? Wait, Bretzy gets a co-billing with Arnold? You guys, what I thought was that Arnold Strong was the stage name Arnold Schwarzenegger had chosen. Or he had chosen a name for himself, which was Arnold Strong. And then he had also chosen a stage name, which was Arnold Stang.

Okay, so you thought both of those names, just to be clear, we're getting in straight out of the gate, thrilled. You thought both of them were his name, one his credit and one his character name? Or both pseudonyms that he was going, I thought. I thought they were both pseudonyms. I did as well. So we are 100% in agreement.

I do know a couple facts. Producers thought that Schwarzenegger was an impossible name for anyone to get, so they billed it as Arnold Strong. And Arnold Stang is a very famous actor of the 60s. Yeah. The 60s and 70s. I disagree. I respectfully disagree.

Whenever we want to talk about Pretzi's apartment in New York, I'm ready. Let's table it, but I'm ready. I will talk about Pretzi's apartment. It doesn't need to be now. I will talk about his job selling pretzels on the docks. In a basket. In a basket. I wondered if that's how pretzels were originally sold. They're almost like on a shish kebab of pretzels. Pretzi's character appears to be from the teens. Yes.

Yes. I think his character jumped... He's a newsie. Just as Hercules came from Mount Olympus, he came from the teens. Like, it was... Everything about him was, like, from a different era entirely. Perhaps the era he was famous in. Which is the 20s. Should we just jump to Prezi? Because I do have some facts. Or should we maybe just... Because I do also want to... Fuck it, let's jump to Prezi. Oh, fuck it.

Here we go. I want to show you this. This is a picture of Prezzi. Now, you obviously can't see it because you're listening to this, but look on his hand. He's got a wedding ring on. Wait, so Prezzi is straight up married. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. Paul, Paul, I disagree. I disagree. He is a widower. I buy that. Okay? Okay.

Don't, don't, oh. No, deal with it. Prezzi's wife died. And it's your fault. Although he might have poisoned her. Oh, yeah. Ooh, I would do, like, a whole movie about Prezzi. And he's like a fucking... Like, how much money do you think Prezzi's pulling in a day? Like, just a day. Like, what's... A day? Yeah. I don't know, like...

$17 in wooden nickels? In the teens. It's all about the teens. There was a moment where they drove from some dock to Central Park for $2. $2. And he couldn't pay for it. He has no money. And they were so mean to this cab driver. They treat the cab driver. Give them the fucking $2. Yeah. He only did his job.

Yes. Drive them from place to place and then did them the disservice of asking for his payment. At which point... That's the whole beginning of the movie to me, which is just like, Hercules causing trouble in New York for people who are just trying to do their job. Yes. I wrote down, I said, Hercules is like, fuck you. You give me safe passage on your boat,

Well, I wrote down, Hercules is a straight up villain. He is not a likable character. He fights with reckless abandon. And he's real cocky. It's not like, oh, I didn't understand. It's like, oh, we told him to work. And I did not want to work. It wasn't like, I didn't understand. He always understood. But here's the really weird thing about Herc. Herc? Wait, are we already going Herc?

Okay. He wants to leave Mount Olympus. Oh, yeah. If I'm correct. Central Park, you mean? He wants to leave Mount Olympus because he wants to live the life of a mortal and find adventure and fun. Correct. And something different. Yep. When he arrives, he behaves as though he's still on Mount Olympus and can't understand why people aren't behaving as they would on Mount Olympus.

Even though he set off to go to a different land. He does not attempt ever to be undercover. He's like, I'm from Mount Olympus and my father is Zeus.

It almost appears as though he was transported there. He chose to be there. Well, I think he thinks... I'm not sure. I don't want to speak for Herc. Don't, don't. But I think he thinks when he arrives, he will be worshipped as the god that he is. And at some point, somebody has to tell him, oh, no, we don't worship the old gods anymore. There's a part where people are like, what are you talking about, that you are that Hercules? And I think...

Because they keep telling us that Hercules is insolent and he is a bore and he's like, that's their criticism against him. The problem is Schwarzenegger can't perform any of those emotions. So even though his lines are like, I want to do this even though I don't want you to tell me what to do, father, whatever. That's my Schwarzenegger. That's as good as it gets.

No, no, no. You don't have to. It's not very good. It is not flawless. I disagree. But he's meant to be like an absolute brat and that this is going to humble him, but it doesn't really. It's weird. It's weird because he also gets into situations right away that are bizarre. He gets on that boat. He's picked up by just a bunch of sailors. Seamen. And they're...

The seamen pick them up. And they immediately... Just a bunch of seamen. And so we're not going to talk about the airplane scene? Oh, we've got to talk about the airplane scene. Let's talk about this plane, bro. I mean, the real bookend, the bookend that ties the whole movie together is the two airplane incidents. Oh, yeah. It's all about plane travel. The movie is a metaphor for plane travel. Right. Well, and it is really interesting how the gods decide to arrive because some of them just, I guess, fall out of the sky and then upwind

others seem to... And some of them fall out of the sky. I'm playing the moment of him waving to the woman. Waving to a woman who is in an airplane. He's very polite to her. Very cute, almost like baby wave. If you told me that this was Prezzy in a wig, I would believe you.

As far as I'm concerned, the woman who sees Arnold out the window is from the same era of acting as Prezzie. Well, let me just say that I think... Both of them are Don Knotts-like. If I was a director of this movie... Which you could be. I could have. I would give three directions. Bigger. Yep. Fight. And hands. Yes. Because at any given point, it's like...

That's about it. Those are the three emotions. This woman does them all. But what's even stranger is the flight attendant is called over by her friend, one of her best gal pals. And the flight attendant walks over and immediately starts putting oxygen on his feather hat. Immediately. Doesn't ask a question.

By the way, they take it down so casually. It's like as if there's a button that just releases all the oxygen masks for just that seat. I've been on an airplane numerous times. I've never seen them go, oh, yeah, you need the oxygen. For anxiety. Yeah. So he is shot down by Zeus, and he lands in the middle of the sea. He's picked up by, like, I think L. Ron Hubbard.

He looks like L. Ron Hubbard. You think it's Z-Org? I think it was a Z-Org. Yet another movie with a Scientology underlying message.

And he's picked up by these seamen, and they go, well, we need to get you a class. You're going to work for us. And then they seemingly don't want to let him ever go. And I don't know if that's a rule of the sea, that if you find someone in the sea, you get to enslave them forever. Because they're like, where are you going? You can't leave us. Yes, you can. You found him in the ocean. Maybe they're worried about mutiny and stuff.

Well, wait. I don't know sea rules. I don't know sea rules. I don't know them. He saw something on the boat. Yeah, I don't know what happened there. And they...

That's what I'm saying. He was privy to a lot of deep Scientology stuff. They can't let him go. They can't let him go. They have to be like, no, no, you have to stay here. But I felt like that was like the rules of the sea. Now he has to obey the captain because they're basically like, you can't leave until the captain tells you. And he's like, I don't care. Yeah. And he walks off like he's like in with like a sweater around his shoulder and a jaunty cap. By the way, my favorite look for him.

him. It's basically... Is it Tom's of Finland? What's it called? What is it? Tom's of Finland. Thank you, everybody. Look it up. That's exactly what he's dressed like. I said he became a dandy very quickly, like from shirtless and just running around like, oh, I'll wear a layering. He started layering. I realized when I saw him in that wardrobe that it's... I think it's the best he's ever looked. And here's why. He's so big and there's so many muscles that...

Actually making him more feminine, to me, made him sexier. Yep. Makes it work. I had a big journey throughout this movie. Please tell us, Abby. Really questioning my thoughts on Arnold Schwarzenegger's attractiveness. And it was never there before. And there were moments in this movie where I was like, maybe? Maybe.

You know? Interesting. I was like, I think I paused and rewound a couple times to figure it out.

It was like there was a new part or an old part. Yeah. It was an old timey part. He has a very, very small waist, which I never noticed before. Sure. Not necessarily an attractive thing, but I don't know. I noticed it. I clocked it. He has a delicate waist. Yeah. He's a beautiful man. I'm sorry. What? I'm just going to need you to repeat that. I'm sorry.

He is. He's a beautiful man. Arnold Schwarzenegger, quote unquote, is a beautiful man, June Diane Rayfield. Beautiful skin. Beautiful skin. I'm going to say this is the best. I'm going to go agree with them and say this is the best he's ever looked. He has, right? And you really got to see a little bit of vulnerability. Every time he does this.

Or this? I was like, he's insecure. You know what it is? He is. And I like that in a guy sometimes. I agree. There's something about him where it's like, I actually feel like I saw him. What? Well, are you talking about? I will say, this is a Tommy Wiseau level performance. Watching this movie...

made me think in 10 years Tommy Wiseau might be the biggest actor of all time because Schwarzenegger traversed that range from absolutely horrid in this movie to unbelievably successful. First of all, Jason, I think you're mad because obviously this is a movie close to you with your Greek culture. Guys, how dare he? How dare he?

How dare he? How dare they bring in this monster from Austria to perform as Hercules? One of the... Oh, God. One of my gods!

Focus features in Indian Paintbrush present The Phoenician Scheme, an epic comedy adventure from director Wes Anderson starring Benicio Del Toro, Mia Threpleton, Michael Cera, Tom Hanks, Scarlett Johansson, and Jeffrey Wright. Follow Zsa Zsa Korda as he races to survive assassinations, win back his daughter, and pull off the greatest scheme of his lifetime, The Phoenician Scheme, rated PG-13. Now playing in select theaters in New York and Los Angeles everywhere Friday.

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I will say to go with Abby and June, like there was a moment, clearly a mistake when he's on his date and he's walking with her into a lake and he trips.

And you could tell it was an Arnold accident, not a Herc accident. And he just kind of slaps his head like, I'm a big dummy. I feel like he tripped on a wire they were using to film the movie. And he was just sort of like, meh. And I felt like, oh, I like him. He seems like a very weak guy. Here's the thing. I think it's that he's not performing the idea of Arnold here. No, there is no idea of Arnold yet. There isn't. And so what you're getting is this, and it's not,

it's not great, but it's, there's, you're seeing fleeting glimpses of like, it's really not great. You're seeing fleeting glimpses of just like this young man who's trying to do this thing and, you know. Well, here's the thing. He was 22 years old. He got the job because his agent told the producer he has lots of stage experience.

On the bodybuilding stage. That's what he said. So Pumping Iron had not happened yet? It's 69, so I think Pumping Iron was later. Yeah, I think so too. Because he bulks up for Pumping Iron. This is when he was at his smallest at this age. But I will show you this. Clearly some people did not think that he could handle the lead of a movie and they dubbed him.

So we, I think, all saw the Arnold version, but when this movie was released, this is the version that you saw. I'm going to play dubbed and not dubbed. Here we go. Okay, here we are. Pretty! Right? 1930. I am in the secret I love with him.

I think Hebe is attracted too. No kidding. I just showed you how desperate some women could be. Diana and Terpsichore were in love with him. I think Hebe was attracted too. No kidding. I just showed you how desperate some women could be. How awesome would it be if Pretzi was also dumped? By Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger's line readings are tragic.

They are so monotone. It's bananas. Watching him struggle through some of these lines was heartbreaking to me. Meanwhile, Prezzi is almost in reaction to him trying to imbue every scene with so much energy and life that it comes off as if he's a... Don't do that. As if he's a marionette

That like a Howdy Doody puppet that someone is like doing this with.

The director said that because they had such a low budget that they relied on Prezzi's reactions to sell everything. There you go. Because there are feats that happen when they get to Central Park. So they can't show you him pole vaulting because he's not going to pole vault. So they had to cut to Prezzi's face going... The closest you can get to eyes popping out and the tongue going... Like...

He is working. Can I ask a question about the Central Park scene?

Was the U.S. Olympic team practicing on a softball field in Central Park? I believe it was. Are they affiliated with Florida? It was also labeled as a college team. They were all wearing USA Olympic outfits and they were just doing traditional Greek discus, pole vault, javelin. Long jump. Arnold couldn't even long jump.

By the way, the guy in the movie couldn't even long drop. It was like shortstop. Why was the professor there watching? That's pretty creepy. The pathmark guy. Look at these boys working out.

Well, the professor oddly is obsessed with Schwarzenegger. There's no reason. There's no reason why that professor would be like, I'm taking with him. He's a real brute. Who here thought he was going to try and recruit Schwarzenegger for the team? That's the whole idea. Nope. Doesn't try and recruit him. Just wants to like get to know him a little better.

come over for tea. This is what's strange. What they set up, the first shot of the professor and his daughter on the bleachers of Central Park, they were talking about how her boyfriend who's on the team is doing really well but isn't paying attention to her. Yes. So it seemed as though I guess we were

We were to understand that the professor wanted Arnold as a potential mate for his daughter. Unclear, because later, later in the movie, the boyfriend is there with the daughter. You guys are really getting there. Yeah! Someone said it! You nailed that plot analysis! You guys, when they're at the Save the Cat conventions, these guys go crazy.

All is lost! All hope is lost! Fun and games, I loved it. But later, they're in the house, and the boyfriend is there, and they're talking about Hercules like he's all of their best friend. And the boyfriend is still there in the picture, even though I'm pretty sure we've seen Hercules on 10,000 dates with the girl. But by the way, the first time Hercules, like, flirts with her, it's aggressive. It's like...

Yeah, he's like, in. And you go like, that's Schwarzenegger flirting. I actually have that scene. I didn't mind it. He also... He says, he is your lover? By the way, I'm going to say I like this actress. I thought she was good. I enjoyed her. Well, she's got two relationships happening at the same time, as well as a very unhealthy relationship with her father. And guys, at certain points in the movie, she just flat out says to Arnold, were you dropped on your head as a baby?

Oh, well, because she can only so many times say, oh, you're always joking. These are educated people. So after, because again, he's not hiding it. He's like, I am Hercules, son of Zeus. Even the least learned of us all would go, that's odd. Yeah.

Those are Greek gods. Like, it's not like deep. It's not like, oh, they're really picking on an odd one. Like, I don't know who Samson's father is. You know, it's like, this is the main one. And they have to really be dumb to it. Here's the flirt scene. Here we go. Is anything wrong? What could be wrong?

It's just that you're looking at me so strangely. I feel my hair may be out of place or something of the sort. She's crazy. Everything is perfect. Everything is in its place. You just remind me of someone. Really? Someone you know? A goddess. A goddess? I remind you of a goddess?

And again, cut to Prezzi to underline that it's awkward. Prezzi? Prezzi should have just ripped off his collars every time. Lost a collar, new shirt. If Prezzi had turned into an animated character in the middle of the movie, I wouldn't have noticed. I would have been like, yep, yep, this makes sense. And like an animated, like an animal.

I would have been like, okay, cool. You know that Arnold Stang is like, motherfucker, Don Knotts gets all my shit. I should have been Mr. Limpid. Three's Company, I would have been great. I think what's strange about the movie, and this is sort of an overall reaction, is that you would think they would take Hercules and put him in a situation in the real world that was uncomfortable for him.

Like, taking care of small children or something that Hercules, as we know him, I guess that is kindergarten cop. But it's just so strange. He's got this crazy strength in, you know, as in a god. He's making front page news as a wrestler.

And he's a wrestler and he's on the U.S. Olympic team. It's like, yeah, these are all the things he can do. There's nothing interesting about watching that journey. Why not make him teach a college course about Greek mythology? I'd watch that. Hey, you know so much about it. We love your first-person perspective. How about the fact that Prensy just straight up steals the professor's book about Greek mythology? He's like, ah, what's this? Okay, shove.

He has such a depression era mentality that he's like, what's yours is mine. Who cares? I found it. I'm Prezzy. I don't care. I'm a scamp.

I'm a street rat. I'm a river person. Who knows? I'm at a camp with a beautiful, like, Woody Allen apartment in New York. Wait, wait, wait. Here's the thing. I want to talk about this apartment, but I want to just go to one of the things of the awkward flirting. They, we just saw that scene, and he says, like, you remind me of a goddess, and everyone freaks out, like, hey, you can't talk to a broad like that. Yeah.

He's only complimenting her. And then the boyfriend is like, hey, don't talk to my lady like that. It's like really aggressive. And then they fight. Then they fight in the living room, yeah. In the living room, which amounts to the boyfriend getting on her shoulders. And that's it. That's the fight. Break it up. Break it up. Okay. Now to the apartment. Time for me to blow your mind. It's not an apartment. It's a hotel room. Prezzy lives in a hotel. What?

Like a flop house? Prezzi is squatting with Hercules because he says to him, he goes, we gotta make some money with all the bills you're racking up here at the hotel. Oh. And then Prezzi's always there. So Prezzi's homeless. Wait, wait, wait, no, no, no. Time out, time out.

When Prezzy goes at the end of the movie and listens to the radio. That's still in the hotel. That's the hotel? So he's going to be thrown out of there. I'm going to try to pull it up. I don't know. Because it has a kitchenette. I don't know about that. That's crazy. I wrote it down because I knew it was too crazy. I could see if I can find the exact line, but I was like, it's a hotel.

It is. There you go. Because that's what it is. Because that dildo's the expert. That's all I need. All I need is one person to agree with me. I would have loved to see... Fuck you. Fuck you.

I would love to see them, all of a sudden, Hercules has a whole wardrobe of human clothes. I would have loved to see that. That's a great scene. A little montage. That's a great scene. I wrote down that... He has a camera. He has a lot of things. Cannot afford any of those locations. They had three locations. That hotel room at Central Park, which was used a lot.

The entire city of New York on the street, right? It would have taken nothing short of two weeks. Two weeks for Taylors to custom make all of the clothes he wears in this movie. I was like, he got his same outfits right the same way the Gremlins get outfits in Gremlins 2. All of a sudden, they're like in page boy costumes. Like, where are these Gremlins shopping? I guess it's the same place that Arnold Schwarzenegger gets his clothes.

Because it's like, on me, it's instantaneous. He's a gigantic man. Those sailors did not have a perfect sweater for him. Well, Paul, I'm about to blow your mind. It is just fine. I grew up as the son of a family of gremlins clothesmakers. I wanted to talk to you guys about this. Again, going back to that awkward flirting scene.

The professor goes, we would like to invite you out for some tea. Yeah. And then he's like, oh, I don't do, Presley, I don't do drugs. Wait, is that a drug term? What drug is tea? No one's ever asked me to sit down and drink tea. Like, is it like tea leaves? Oh, it's a 60s term. For what? Tie stick? For marijuana? Really? I mean, people really...

The T is silent? I don't mind saying you guys are the worst. What do you think, or I guess, what was the moment for Prezzy when he decided to really take Arnold on? I know it. Oh, wow. I want to come back to this moment because I was really confused about this fight with this plank.

And how difficult. On the dogs. You're on the dogs. Around the dogs. Yep. Because Hercules should, it should have been a lot easier. It was confusing. But then there's a moment where Prezzi goes back for his hat. For Hercules' hat. And sweater. And sweater. And he's like, I got it. And he was like, I'm in. Yeah. Oh, wow. I think he saw his moment where he could be the little dog that runs around the big dog and is like, hey, what

Hey, hey, hey, what do you need? How can I help? Hey, how can I help? Well, by the way, Prezzy is like a downright, like an Arthur Miller character. We'll get into his end monologue. But even when he's like being harassed by the wrestling guys, he's like drinking. He's in a Eugene O'Neill play on the side that's way darker. So what do you think Prezzy gets from Herc?

Companionship? Like, value. Life worth living. Yeah, he's needed. What if he opened up a locket to look at a picture of his dead wife and it was just Schwarzenegger in a wig? And that was the reason he was like...

You know what would have been amazing? If the whole movie ended with you realizing Hercules never existed. It was all a projection of Prezzi. It was a Tyler Durden situation. And then every other person had only been reacting to Prezzi and had been like, what are you talking about? Who's Hercules? But you hadn't seen any of that.

And it was all just prezzy. Just a homeless man sleeping on a book of Greek mythology and it just kind of seeped in. It is widely known that Fight Club is based on this movie. No spoilers on Fight Club, Jason. Oh, sorry. Brad Pitt and his imaginary character at the end of that movie. And at the end of The Prestige, twin brothers. Spoilers for those movies. The one thing that I think...

the movie does a great job of is letting you know that he's Hercules. And here is a... Paul, can I ask you a question? Who does the best job letting you know that he's Hercules? That's a tough one. I'm going to say Hercules does a great job. And I'm going to play you right now a mashup of Hercules saying Hercules. Here we go. These are all the times he says it.

You know what's amazing? What I love about that is how many times he says his own name numerous times in the same scene. Which when it's put together like that, you're like, "Oh wow, in that one scene he says it four times."

He's like a sports star who refers to himself in the first person.

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There's so much to talk about, I wanna- We haven't talked about Mount Olympus at all. Let's get into it. It's a-

backyard of a house. The most unimpressive Mount Olympus to a point where they use fog to an effect of like, I guess, that will make it seem bigger. Like, the camera pushes through intense fog. But Mount Olympus has nothing on the planet of Pluto, which is just a gate and more fog. A gate, fog, and wait, and like, and the guy who plays Pluto is insane.

That is a portrayal that is next level, like, crazy. He's amazing, and he says a great line in the movie, like, I hate the earth. And then all of a sudden you hear, honk, honk. Like, literally a cab. Like, they are shooting on the street. They did not. There's a lot of horn honking in Mount Olympus. But the one in Pluto, you hear, honk, honk.

And Mount Olympus seems to maybe have four people in it at any given time. Oh, yeah. And they're all... I feel like the stuff, the Mount Olympus stuff felt like almost Zardoz-y to me. Very much so. You know, like in that way of just like people dressed up in nonsense, standing around like a lawn, and we're meant to be transported to like... This is Mount Olympus. Yeah.

Like, this is, like, the most amazing... Like, the home of the gods. I get why Herc wants to leave. I'm like, this is boring. I do, too. And I think that's the one thing that they were successful in. And they did this in Zardoz. But there's this something about being immortal that...

everybody with just like apathy and this weight and there's just there is nothing happening yes well you know what the gods are bored the gods are bored well I was thinking like we know Greek mythology and I guess there's an end point to it but I guess like it's like a TV show that's been cancelled it's still going on for them they're still having adventures but we don't know it anymore like yeah the show is cancelled we had a great thing with Medusa we're

We're not keeping up with their stories. Their stories are just non-existent. But here's what's weird. Do they think that people, that mortals believe in them anymore? I don't know. Don't know. Such a good question. I mean, I still do. Of course. My family raised me. My family, right back there, everybody. Wave to my family. Raised me. Raised me to believe in the old gods. We would slaughter a lamb.

And offer its thigh up to Zeus. I love that Mercury arrived in a helicopter. And I love that Pluto arrived via subway underground in hell. But how did he appear in the helicopter? Because...

I mean, Hercules was like shot out and fell into the water. So did he just like get shot into a helicopter or grab onto it? Who knows? This guy seemed to be checking off names and then another guy and he's like, who that guy? Yeah. Right? Because you can fit so, I don't know. I guess he wasn't on the roster. But that was a real like kind of shit way to enter. I mean, it's so like, and again, no one does anything about it. Like, oh, that guy didn't exist. There were so many scenes that were utterly pointless. Yes.

Just, I feel like, almost as if to fill time. You know what I mean? Like, why did we need any of that scene with Mercury arriving via helicopter? Didn't need it. No. He could have just popped up into the hotel room. Because guess what? He flies away outside the window when he's done. When he's done, he literally jumps out the window of the hotel slash apartment. And he flies away. And Pretzi almost loses his mind.

This is where Prezzi turns into like a Don Knotts cartoon character who's like, I gotta have a drink. And it's really, Prezzi, guys, Prezzi is on thin ice mentally. By the way, it doesn't seem like Prezzi's working anymore either. You could argue that this entire movie, because he doesn't. No, but Prezzi is working as Hercules' manager. I got worried in that moment because I was like, no one believes him. No one's gonna believe

And no one's ever going to believe him because he ends the movie talking to a fucking radio. It has broken him. He is done. Donezo. Prezzi, donezo. He should have killed himself. At the end of this movie, Prezzi should have killed himself. We should watch his end monologue. This is, I mean, it's amazing. Yeah.

Because this end monologue, I really did feel, I was like, whoa. Yeah, whoa. What's going on here? I feel like they were like, hey, just, you got to do the scenes with Arnold, but we're going to give you some real moments. Something juicy. To sink your teeth into. Wait, in this, wait, is this the radio? Yeah.

This is the radio. Lament into the radio. What's interesting is the radio, when he talks to Zeus through, not Zeus, Herc through the radio, it's in the, even the Arnold version, it's the dubbed British man's voice. Yes. Which means Arnold never recorded those lines ever.

They didn't have him. They couldn't get him. So they just kept the British guy's lines in. So when Zeus speaks, I'm not Zeus, sorry, Hercules speaks to Prezi, it is the British guy, which I found utterly perplexing. Hold on one second. I have, this is the great technical difficulty. See, I thought that was a choice, that it wasn't. That it was like a beautiful British man's voice? Like he was gone. Well, I thought it was Prezi kind of imagining that it was Herc, even though it wasn't Herc's real voice. Oh, wow.

Really? Well, yeah, because we've heard Turk the entire time. Why would there all of a sudden be a different voice? What if Arnold was like, said to the director, hey, we got another hour before we have to wrap. I'd like to just do this thing. And he just improvises all off the top of his head. Because I do feel like he was like, my character needs closure. I need to go forward. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. Hercules should have fucking taken Prezzi with him. Or said goodbye. Or said goodbye. Or said goodbye. Thank you. Here's a bag of riches and gold for taking me in. I don't disagree with you, Paul. Everlasting life. I won't say that Hercules is a villain, but he is a not thoughtful jerk. Not a great guy.

Why does he bring down one of the goddesses? Just looking at this shot right now, that's not a hotel room. Yeah, it's a hotel room. This is three locks. We're going to watch the prezzy, the last scene of the movie. We are, and I think we can go back and talk about other stuff, but I feel like we're so in a prezzy world right now. No, no, I agree. Strongest guy in the world. Trying to put a nothing like me. Is he talking to you? Well, he really made me feel like something.

A half-pipe like me. I ain't never gonna forget him. Never. Don't grieve, my friend. In the memory of Lisa, separation may have acquired happiness for all of us. Herc? We are friends, you and I. And nothing can take that from us. Herc! Herc! Where are you, Herc? What are you doing on my radio? Herc!

It's me. It's Prezzy. He knows it's Prezzy. He's talking to a radio. Why does he have to let him know? I mean, would you be surprised if that scene ended with him putting a gun in his mouth? I wouldn't. By the way, I hope that's kind of a beautiful scene, right? It's beautiful. It's pointless.

I have, oh yeah, will you go back, will you click on it? It's like a little rascal. Will you open it up? Can we watch the first couple of seconds of this again? Yeah. A half pint like me, I can't believe, strongest guy in the world, blah, blah, blah. And now just imagine that it's being played by, this character's being played by a turtle. Okay? Now just watch, just watch. It's a turtle. Strongest guy in the world. Try to know, but I'm nothing like me. Imagine, oh he really made me feel like something. Yeah.

a fucking turtle. He is wearing tortoise shell glasses. I also like, I also like, he's like, he's like, okay.

I'm going to do the scene. And he's like, okay, what's my eyeline? And they're like, oh, the camera's over there. So your eyeline is on the floor over here. The whole shot, he's looking down and off. A half pint like me. I think he's looking, I think the geography of the apartment is that's the bedroom. The hotel, sorry. Damn it. That he's looking at the bed.

So that's where Hercules slept on the bed. And he's like, really? Oh, wow. Okay, maybe. I don't know because I will throw this out. Watching it now when he's talking to the radio and saying, it's me, are you in there? Whatever he says. It seems as though he might think Hercules is in there. Like, is in there. Well, he says, what are you doing in my radio? That is a line in the movie.

Which would lead you to believe that Prezzy believes Herc is in the radio. Yes. I just saw for a moment, like, you look sad when you watch that monologue. It's devastating. It is. I don't like when characters have no dignity. I don't. I don't.

And so when he says a half pint like me, it's like, oh, it's so sad. It's very sad. Maybe these dock workers were beating him up and that's maybe why he got into it. They beat up the pretzel man. He definitely felt like he needed this friendship. Like this for Pretzi, this movie is really about Pretzi.

Prenzy has the most interesting arc of the movie. The only arc, arguably. Hercules just does a series of nonsensical things. Not even the Herculean tasks. Didn't Hercules have tasks? The one that he did do is fight a bear. A bear wearing sneakers. Look closely. I love when he's fighting the bear and the woman, the girl that he's on the date with, the daughter of the professor, goes, beat him up!

I love that the zookeeper or the police had the wherewithal to be like, a bear is loose. And this one's known to be surly and dangerous. Not like the other grizzly bears who are polite and kind. Was it the docile and safe one? Nope. By the way, why was a bear loose? Why was a bear loose? He just broke out. He just got out? Yeah.

Wow, that's crazy. Central Park Zoo used to be real loosey-goosey. By the way, Central Park looks like shit in this movie. They drive cars all over the Great Lawn and ripping it up. Well, this is an era where New York was like, in the fucking toilet.

You know, this is just a couple of years away from like Son of Sam, like that era of New York where everything is super bleak and difficult. Not like the beautiful city that you all live in now. Hooray! We did it!

Do we want to talk a little bit? I mean, I want to get into the chariot chase, but I also want to just talk about the wrestling aspect of this movie. Sure. Because... And the mobsters? Oh, yeah. Mobsters. So, yeah. The movie was done in 1969, and wrestling could make front page news. I mean, the newspaper spins, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Strongest man, wrestler. And then they clearly have no footage of wrestling. They can't afford it. So they just use like old weightlifting competition photos. Basically. And then they go, okay, yeah, he's a big wrestler now. But we never, ever see him wrestle. That and the competition that you think would be between two wrestlers where they would wrestle is just weightlifting. Yeah.

Which is his strong suit. And he loses. Well, and also, well, because his strength has been taken away there. Yes, of course. By Zeus. But even without his strength... No, by... Oh, by... Nemesis? Nemesis. Nemesis.

Without his strength, he still has a lot of strength. He lifts 750 pounds, right? Yes. By the way, they took away his strength, but yeah, that's good. If I could bench, just cold lift 750, I'm happy with that. The following his strength was a thing that I was confused by. Going back to this board on the docks. Yeah.

I think the board on the docks does open it up for a lot of discussion. Go ahead. I was like, Hercules should be able to push these guys over on the thing right now. But I understand there was a lot of stunt tricks on the docks of hitting guys over onto the thing. Knocking guys' heads together. Yes, knocking guys' heads together. And then what is the next... So the bear, being able to beat up a bear...

And then the only difference in showing he's weak is this 250 pounds. He can't lift 1,000 pounds. Right. Yeah, that was the height of his weakness. Like, you would think that he would get a 10. Like, that's the only time he's weak. And correct me if I'm wrong, the end fight scene in the cardboard factory... I got great news, boss. I got us a final location. Yes!

What do we got? Please tell me steel mill. A cardboard factory. He'll be throwing cardboard boxes and cardboard tubes. What you say though, Abby, because when I saw that, when I saw him push that board and all those guys go flying, I did have the thought like, I think I could do that. Me too. So I was like, why is this so hard for Hercules?

Right. And why is this the sort of, you know, example of his great strength? Yes. Well, you would think that if Hercules, because Hercules does punch a lot of mortals, at which point I would think their heads would detach from their bodies. That should be what happens. He still seems like he's struggling on the boat. He's not taking them down with one punch. They're getting back up. But then he does stuff which I also can't figure out. Like, why does he, like, grab onto the dock lift, the dock worker's forklift?

Why does he do that? Why does he stop that forklift? And the guy's like, hey, what are you doing? Let it go. And he's like, I like your chariot. Where's the horses? And he's like, hey, what are you doing? What are you doing? And he's just holding for, I don't know why. And then he just lets it go. Why? Why? But at the moment of his weakness, he does this thing that I love, which is this.

An all shots moment. Amazing. And over and over. It was incredible. It's the best. Right. Yeah. When he loses the match, he really gets upset and then all like, just like Tommy Wiseau. And it's, this is a Wiseauian performance.

I mean, he invented the wuzzo. And yeah, the fight in the cardboard factory, then, oh, I guess the chariot race leads to that. So he gets caught up with these mobsters who take Prezzy out of the picture and

And the mobsters are making a lot of money on weightlifting. And wrestling, wrestling. But they also had a lot of money on this weightlifting competition. Yes, yes. And then it seemed like everyone from their crew was going to take him down. There seemed to be about 20 or 30 of them at the end. And they're chasing him through the city. He steals a chariot from a strongman? I don't know what that guy was doing with a chariot. Unclear, unclear.

Just a guy with a chariot in New York City who's stopping to get a hot dog. It's New York. Yeah, there's a chariot on every corner. Don't worry about it. It's New York. Which leads to your favorite moment in the movie, also my favorite moment in the movie, which we'll just show for you guys and we'll kind of...

So the chariot has been running through the city. Now clearly he stole this chariot from a guy who was getting a hot dog. That's all you need to know for this. Here we go. The wheels fall off, just like the movie. Look at Princey run.

Where did that monster go with my chariot? I want my chariot. You will be seeing that moment in Broad City Season 3. I wrote down, best joke in the movie. It is...

Like a moment of clear genius. It's like, yes, this hot dog vendor is so intent on getting that sauerkraut. He's like, I will not. Like he has no invested interest in the chariot or this race. But he literally ran miles with sauerkraut on a fork to deliver it. Does not worry about anything.

That is a great moment. That is a great moment, a great shot. This whole thing feels like a Benny Hill sketch with crazy bouzouki music in place of yackety sax. Like, you could play this whole thing and just...

And why is, and again, to go back to the chariot, it looks like a Tarzan man. Yep. In a chariot, so it's not necessarily connecting. It looks like Crispin Glover. He does. In a Tarzan costume. His dick's really just like right there. It's kind of puffed out. Yeah. And all 80-yard lines. I auditioned for the hot dog vendor.

By the way, I respect the best dressed hot dog vendor in New York. That's when New York hot dog vendors knew how to dress. Not like the semi-homeless that are giving us hot dogs now. But I think the hot dog vendor and Pretzzi, like they are selling pretzels and hot dogs, but they are... Yeah, men of honor. Yeah.

They're lacking something in their life. They need to chase after these weird men. Yeah. Ooh, I would love a movie that's based on these two dudes. Can I... I want to play a game with you guys. I want to play this. What if this right here had been a scene from Tarzan in New York?

And there was a whole other movie that took place concurrent, like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead. They tie together. So this was the only scene they shared. It's also weird that Hercules, I mean, maybe it's not weird, I don't know, but he doesn't ever think to just run. Like, he's got... Or fly away, which he can do. He can do it at this point. But he has no powers now. Oh, right now he's depowered. I'm sorry. But still.

By the way, and again, just to talk about, they're tearing up Central Park. I mean, that was like, someone was like, yeah, yeah, fuck it, I don't care, shoot in there. Drive cars, put a horse there. Oh, this is when Central Park was basically like New York's toilet bowl. Yeah, they got the Central Park location for two bags of heroin. Two bags of tea. The T is silent, though. E. Um...

Here's my game for you guys. I'm going to play you a clip. You tell me what Arnold Schwarzenegger is saying. This is for the big come-to-Zeus moment. Here we go. Mighty Zeus has more wisdom than Hercules. He knew better what is best for him. Mighty Zeus. Mighty Zeus. Let's see what you guys think. Anyone know? Oh, I don't know. No? Oh, gobbledygook. I'm going to play it one more time.

Mighty Zeus has more wisdom than Hercules. He knew better what was best for him. What was best for him. He knew better what was best for him. Father of Hercules. He has more wisdom. Let's take a look at the British version. Here we go. So here we go. We'll get a full explanation. Mighty Zeus has more wisdom than Hercules. He knew better what is best for him.

For him. There you go. He knew... Oh, boy. This movie is for... Wait, do you have Mercury? I don't know if I have a Mercury clip. Yeah. Did any... Okay. I can really show this entire movie. I have a question for the audience. Did anybody think that Mercury sounded like anybody else? I wish we had a clip. The guy playing Mercury sounds exactly like Adam Scott. Before Adam Scott was born? Yes. Oh!

One quick thing, and then I'm going to go to the audience to get some questions in here. Did anyone notice what was weird when they sent Samson down to the fight? He had short hair. Anyone? Yes, Samson's from the Bible, not Greek mythology. No one was doing the fact-checking on that one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, send out Samson. And Noah, too. Get Noah involved. Get all the strong men. Anybody who's strong from any kind of mythology. Send Thor down. I don't know. By the way, at the end of the movie, Zeus does travel to the Florida land. He flies as a Hasidic man. On the plane of attack. Yes.

He flies down like he's... But does he go down because it sounded fun? Yes. And was it fun? Yeah, well, he gets all, like, jazzed up by, like, I want to go have a horny adventure.

Because that's what Zeus does. Zeus goes to Earth, he fucks a bunch of Earth broads, has a bunch of children, some of whom gestate in his thigh. It doesn't matter. And then he has all these, that's why Juno, although Juno is not his wife. Isn't Hera his wife? Hera's his wife. Who's Juno? Is she? Guys, guys, I'm going to need you to elect a spokesman. Ellen Page. Is she a Roman god? Ellen Page is Juno.

Guys, you need to stop freaking out. I understand two-thirds of you are classics majors. And you need for us to know how smart you are, but relax. All right, I'm going to come to the audience for some questions. Here we go. Sir, I'm going to start with you. All right, when the microphone comes to you, you can talk out loud. All right, so here we go. And your best Schwarzenegger, say, I am Hercules. Or actually, yeah, say, I am Hercules, then your real name, and then your question. Here we go.

I am Hercules. Really good. Really good. My name's Rick. And do you think the wheel falling off in the chariot scene was deliberate or completely accidental? Ooh, great question. Great question. Interesting. I feel like everything in this movie was accidental. And that chariot lasted way longer than they thought. Okay, sir, you got it. You're best, Hercules. And then... And if you're back here, come to me. So here.

I am Hercules. Good. Really good. That was not good. My name's Brett. I was just wondering, they shot a lot of scenes during the day, but made them nighttime. And the editing person was terrible at doing that. Why? Yeah, there's one scene when Mercury visits him in that room. Those curtains are like bound to the wall. It's like, that was clearly daylight. And Pluto says, you can tell by how dark it is out. And it's clearly like daytime. Yeah.

And then in the middle of their conversation, Hercules is like, I'm going to take a shower. And starts to undress with Mercury and Prezzy in the room, which is weird. Here's a question. How many days did this movie take place over? Wow. One week or four years? Yeah. All right, your best Hercules, your name, your question. I'm Hercules. Really good. Really good. Pretty good.

You know what? Half of that line is dudes who are like, I've got a pretty good Hercules impression. I'll think of a question while I'm online. Okay, my question's about Pretzi, who actually is famous. He was Top Cat, he was in Curse of the Cowardly Dog, but he was also in the movie Ghost Dad. And he played almost the exact same role. In the Bill Cosby movie, Ghost Dad? Oh, wow. Yeah, Ghost Dad, directed by Disney. That late? So he's still alive in like the 80s.

Kurt's Kelly dog was 2002. So he's around. Wow. So my question is... Wait, he's still alive? All right, so my question is... You just said he was alive in 2002. No, Pretzi died in 2002. Is that what you said? He played a character in 2002. Okay, that was the last time we saw him. Got it, got it.

Anyway, my question is, do you think Bill Cosby and Sidney Poitier were sitting around watching this movie just looking at like that guy? That's the guy who we need in our movie reacting to our ghost effects. So you want us to analyze the thoughts of Bill Cosby? Yes, yes I do, sir. I just want to make sure that's the question you're asking right now. What was Bill Cosby thinking in casting? We'll never know. We'll never know.

I did hear he took a meeting with the actress in this movie though. Oh! Too soon! Too soon! Too soon! Gotta wait for another 40 people to come out. Too soon! Let's get some ladies. If you're a lady you can come to the front of the line. Alright, come over here. Ladies, ladies. Ladies, come on. I do want to say that I think that Prezzy did a great job.

Oh my god, ladies just jumped. Holy shit. Paul, are you okay? Look what just happened. Ladies. Bitches, relax. We're going to have to go back to some guys in a second too. Alright, here we go. Your best Schwarzenegger. Your question. I am Hercules. Really good.

Hi, I'm Amanda, and I just wanted to... You don't have to hold the mic. You're really grabbing at that mic, Amanda. Hey, Amanda. Maybe I like to hold it this close? Is that okay? Amanda, we're going to need you to let go of that mic. So my question is, you guys have not addressed the fact that this looks like low-budget porn towards the end of it. I just kind of want to know your thoughts on that. Okay, do you watch a lot of low-budget porn, Amanda? No.

Go back to your seat! Go back, go back Amanda. Alright. We have a lot of ladies now.

Ladies, we don't all have to grab the mic. Okay? We're going to get to a lot of you. We're going to get to a lot. Here we go. Not everybody, but a lot. Here we go. Paul, if you need help, you just let us know. I was a little scared. If you feel uncomfortable or scared. I was a little scared there. All right. Your best Hercules. But I love that all you did was say like, how about some ladies? Next thing you know, you're drowning in titties. What's going on? We really were. You just have to yell that in a crowded place. I'm going to try that later.

Best Hercules. That was adorable. Get ready for it. I am Hercules. Good. You know what? We're going to get, we're going to figure out who's going to ask this next question by, oh, that's great. Somebody's showing me a picture which we'll not read on the podcast but it's of a turtle with glasses and it looks like Pretzi. Send that to him. That girl gets it. The best Hercules impression gets asked this next question. Here you go. You already did yours. Do it one more time. I am Hercules. Shit.

I am Hercules. That's terrible. I am Hercules. That is terrible. Okay, terrible. That was good. I am Hercules. I am Hercules. I am Hercules. I am Hercules. I am Hercules. I could do this for an hour. Just girls saying I am Hercules is legit one of the most erotic things I've ever heard in my life.

Well, that was tough. They were all very good. Really? Do you want to speed through their questions? Yeah, here we go. Speed through your questions. Here we go. So, Pretzi, we don't know his last name at all, I don't think. Do you think his first name is Pretzel? Not his given name. Pretzi is not his given name. So, when he's signing the contract, those three goons are like, hey, sign this contract. Pretzi. The answer, Pretzi. He's a son of a bitch.

P-R-E-T-Z-Y. Or he just draws a pretzel. Ooh, he draws a pretzel. I like that. All right, go to your seat. Super quick. Speed round. Turtlenecks. Turtlenecks? Go to your seat. You're done. Here we go. We're busting through. All right, so my question, I wanted to know what you guys thought about the mobsters. I know we touched on that. The mobsters? They drive station wagons. That is not a mobster car. And don't have guns. Just cigars. Cigars.

Don't have guns. They're ready to duke it out at a moment's notice. All right, here we go. Joey, all right. If you've asked your question, sit down. So do your Hercules and then talk about John Candy. It's going to be hard without moving my face to do it appropriately. Move your face then, weirdo. I don't know why I didn't say him not to move his face. Oh, what? I never told him not to move his face. Yeah, so feel free. So for all future Hercules impressions, feel free to move your face. All right.

He doesn't move his face, so why should I? Here we go. I hate you. Question revoked. Question revoked. All right. Wait, wait. What do you mean? He's very impassioned. What do you mean? This is a subject of internet debate that I want you to clarify. Is John Candy in this movie? In that very first scene when he's shaking his fist right in front of the camera at a man hanging off of the ship.

50% of Google searches say yes, John Candy. 50% say no. Okay, we're going to settle this right now. Sit down. We have moved on.

The John Candy debate will never be solved. We will never. We know. Yes. We're not telling. This was, by the way, telling people to get out of their seats was a terrible idea. By the way, you have been mobbed. We'll not do this again. For those of you listening at home, Paul is currently being attacked. I'm in a sea of people. Well, see, the difference between New York and L.A. is L.A. Nobody wants to get in. Nobody. New York, everybody's like, I need to fucking talk.

I love it. You know what this show needs? Me talking into a microphone. Who here? We're going to do two more questions. Who believes in their questions? So everyone. In L.A., hands go down. Okay. Here, hands go up. We got a speed round. Speed round. Speed round. Speed round. Here we go. Okay, so the IMDB description says that Hercules is sent to Earth where he finds true love. I already hate it. Sit down. No, no, no, no.

You gotta get, you gotta, from here on in, the question's gotta be real quick. Is the true love that girl or Prezzy? Great question. Okay, hang on, hang on. Great question. Hang on, hang on, hang on. June? Prezzy. All right. Moving on, moving on, moving on. I'm trying, I'm trying. The man in the bear suit or Nick Cage in the bear suit in Wicker Man, who wins in a battle? Okay, sit down, sit down, sit down.

- Prensy, by the way, is going to Brooklyn to buy his pretzels and then returning to the docks to sell them. - Don't we think the docks are in Brooklyn? Aren't the docks, are we on the Red Hook docks? What docks are we at? Queens? Is he at Queens? - We're here in Central Park two seconds later.

I will say that my favorite line in the movie is, he goes, "Dispresso is the heaven of the, food of the gods." He goes, "Oh, that's real funny. That's the name of the bakery that I get it from." - By the way, I enjoyed that whole scene in the cab ride about Apollo. - All right, one more question, 'cause we got, we got a, okay. - Given that this movie came out in 1969, what did the characters of "Mad Men" think of it when they saw it? - A very good question. I was thinking about that today, as a matter of fact.

Well done. Everyone sit down. Everyone sit down. Well done. All right, so obviously we had an opinion about this movie, but there are some people that disagree. These are second opinions. Second opinions. These are opinions that five-star reviews culled from Amazon about Hercules in New York. Okay. Hot dogs, pretzies, and airplanes. Okay.

What can I say? The title says it all. Hercules, a strong young man looking to find his purpose in life, being judged by his father. Well, this doesn't make grammatical sense. Being judged by his father is hard enough, so he moves to New York and creates havoc in the big city. The hot dog vendor seen as the best. I would pay 300 yen to see that again. The guy chases the horseman, and it goes, bog. It's awesome. Bog.

Five stars. I don't know why the bog is in there. This is another good one. This is from Arnold Fan. Of Arnold. Which one? This film will make you appreciate why Arnold Schwarzenegger is the greatest and still is the greatest of all time.

His phenomenal aesthetic mass at 6'1 tall is clearly evident in this film. Most competitive bodybuilders today are between 5'5 and 5'8 and look horrible. Five stars. This is from Frida Tarveson. This movie is my favorite. I don't like people seeing it as a joke. It's a good film. It's first! All in caps.

A cool film indeed. Hercules is bored and he wants to go down to New York and he finds it hard to fit in because of his enormous strongness. It's a real fish out of water story. My favorite quote in the film is when he talks to the coach and says, I want to show them how to throw the discus. And the coach says, you don't say. And Herc says, I do say. That is great.

Another good thing in this film, just pure fighting. No overdriven explosive things like an eraser or red scorpion or universal soldier. Not to say it's bad, but sometimes you get tiered of those things. Tiered? T-I-E-R-D. This is a way cooler. Five stars. And finally...

The review is titled, "A Cult Film for Bodybuilding Fanatics." This film's a must for those who love bodybuilders. It's actually a comedy, but every five minutes or so, you get to see Arnold take off a piece of clothing and flex. This is his first film, so his bod is much more beautiful than any other film. You'll never see a more beautiful male body in any film. Five stars.

Wow. And that user's name was Creepy Weirdo, right? Anything that we didn't cover that you guys feel like we need to talk about? I mean, there's so much. Oh, the whole conversation. I love when they get, this is just like highlights that we didn't get to. They get in the cab on the docks. They drive, they do the whole scene before the cab driver goes, where are you going? They've been, and he goes, oh, we're at Central Park right here.

They've already taken the ride without giving him any direction. And it looks like the sketchiest part of Central Park is like, oh, Prezzi will now murder Hercules. You know, I love this other movie. And it reminded me of this, Coming to America. You know what? There's a lot of similarities that you say. You're saying in that movie, Arsenio Hall is Prezzi? Yes. Ah.

I don't know, it cuts back to the dead and he's like... You're right. I think there's a lot of similarities, but to June's point, he goes out of his comfort zone, he works at McDowell's. Here, it would just be like the prince just beating people up. My last stray thought is, do you think Prezzi was nicknamed Prezzi or started calling himself Prezzi? LAUGHTER

Nicknamed. I bet dock workers were like, hey, uh...

Like, because he's been there for years and they never bothered to learn his name. I think it's like this. I think he's like, he's like, you know, somebody buys a pretzel from him. He goes, hey, and if you want, you can call me Pretzi because I sell pretzels. I'm the pretzel guy. Pretzi, Pretzi. He's like, all right. All right, man. Thank you. I think he's giving it to himself and forcing it on other people. Wow. I'm Pretzi. Pretzi's the pretzel guy. That's how you remember me. And that bumps me out so much.

Pretzi, when the mobsters show up to threaten Pretzi and are like, you better sign this contract, Pretzi. That scene also very sad for Pretzi. He's drinking and shaking so much. The director of this film was asked to your point early on. Why did you do this? Why did you do this to us? How dare you? This is a war crime. He was asked, is it a war crime to have done this movie? Yeah.

Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Have you no honor, sir? These are all questions he was asked. He was paid $1,000 a week to direct and said, are you surprised that Schwarzenegger ever worked again after this movie? And he said, yes, very. That's what I mean. The idea that this performance exists from a man who is responsible for many of the highest grossing movies of all time is shocking. Sorry, that was me.

And a governor. And a Mary to Kennedy. But I think if you watch it very closely, there are glimpses of an actor in there. And I actually, I do think, I mean, of course it's a troubled performance, but there are moments, and I think you saw them too, there are moments where you see this beautiful open face.

And you want to cast him again. Can I ask this question? Is it fair to say that most movie stars, like the biggest of biggest movie stars, you're going to see them and their personality. And I think that that's what shined through here. It wasn't about the acting. You want to see a Will Smith movie. Yeah, you're seeing the inherent charismatic whatever that lies beneath.

Got it. Okay, maybe. And he's got it. He's got it in space. Really? Because he has a dead eyes and a placid face. He appears to be a buffoon. Yeah.

This movie was made in 1969. He just released a low-budget indie movie where he plays the father to a zombie daughter. Still doing it. Yep. Non-stop. Yeah. Still doing it. God bless. This guy is the American Dream, even though he's... Yes. Oh, for sure. For sure he is. It's unbelievable what he's accomplished. Some applause for the American Dream. Yeah.

America indeed, guys. You know why it doesn't get a pause? Because this is New York, and New York is like, no, New York, fuck America. I think we'd all agree that you would say watch this movie, right? Watch this movie just for Prezzy alone. Well, thank you guys for being here, but before we go, you can take your pictures now, but as you're taking your pictures, anything that anyone wants to plug? We can do a plug line there.

I just put a bunch of stuff up on Craigslist. Like good stuff. Side tables and some lamps and stuff. Just checking out. I, uh, like, oh yeah, we'll give you a good pose. We'll pose as we are letting you guys take pictures. I'm really going to fuck it up for people who are trying to take pictures. I'm going to be much taller than everybody.

I would like to plug my new web series called Sheer RL, which is, oh, thank you, which is recreations of MTV's TRL. And there you go. Terry Crews as Diddy, Brett Gelman as Marilyn Manson, Kumail Nanjiani as Mariah Carey, and a lot more. June? I will plug the Netflix show I'm on, Grace and Frankie, which is out, and see it now. It's really great.

But just, you know, follow me on Twitter. Okay, great. Oh, are you on Twitter now? Not on Twitter, guys. Abby, what's your name on Twitter? Um, it's just my name. There you go. You can follow her, too. Did it, yeah, did it early on. Not very clever. No, I'm just my name, too. Yeah, yeah. Cool, great. Jason's not on it. Not on it. And you are what? At Ms...

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Be cool, June. Don't worry. I'll get half her money. Look at that. Boom. It's right there. Ms. June Diane. A big thank you to Avril Halle who cut all these amazing clips. Our researcher, Nate Kiley. Dave, who's up on the board. Everybody here at Urban Plaza. Thank you. Yes. You can follow us on Twitter, though. Oh, yes. This show.

That's all the initials out of this get made. And if you have a correction or omission, put it on the Earwolf board and we'll read it in the mini-episode. Thank you guys for coming. The best outro of all time. Give it up for Abby Jacobson. She was amazing. Give it up. Jason Manzoukas. June Diane Raphael. Thank you guys so much for letting me know. Good night, New York. Good night, New York City.