Highlander II: The Quickening LIVE! w/ Sam Richardson (HDTGM Matinee)
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I'm Lacey Mosley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess, the show that's an ode to fraud and all those who practice it. Each week I talk with very special guests about the scammiest scammers of all time. Want to know about the fake errors? We got them. What about a career con man? We've got them too. Guys that will whine and dine you and then steal all your coins. Oh, you know they are represented because representation matters. I'm Lacey Mosley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess, the show that's an ode to fraud and all those who practice it.

I'm joined by guests like Nicole Byer, Ira Madison III, Conan O'Brien, and more. Join the congregation and listen to Scam Goddess wherever you get your podcasts. A famous Highlander once said, there can only be one. Unfortunately, the producers of this movie did not listen to that Highlander. We saw Highlander 2, The Quickening, so you know what that means. Woo!

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Hello, people of Earl, people of Largo.

Welcome! Welcome! We are here at Largo at the Corn at our LA home for our live shows, and we are so excited to talk to you about another sequel. Following in the brave footsteps of Grease 2, a sequel made about years late and not asked for. Um...

But unlike Breeze 2, this movie makes zero sense. So here to help me dissect Highlander 2, The Quickening, I will tell you, I have some amazing people. Number one, please welcome Jason Manzoukas! What's up, jerks? What's up, Jason? How are you, Paul? I am excited. Oh, thrilled to be here. Very rarely backstage...

do we stop ourselves from even, we couldn't even talk about this on the basest of levels backstage. I came in hot. I was like, I want to talk about this. As of right now, starting go. You were talking about it in your car on the way over. Talking to myself. Just ranting and raving. Probably like the screenwriter. Why can't I get porcupine hair? It's one of the things I said to myself.

Well, we will find out that and much more. But first, let me introduce my other co-host, the wonderful, the talented, the June Diane Raphael. Welcome. Welcome, June. Hi. Welcome. Hi, Paul. How are you? Very well. Very well. How are you?

June, I will say... Backstage two, you guys introduced yourselves to each other. June and I's relationship is... How many introductions would you say do we give each other in a day? Like a random day? Twelve? About, yeah, about twelve. Just to be clear, his introduction's a euphemism.

No, they say it's like the key to a successful marriage to really see someone anew every time. Identify yourself at all points. I'll say, hey, June, it's Paul. And she'll say, it's June. And we'll move on with our date. Backstage, you were like, I think we've met before. She looks damn familiar to me. You'll place me sometime. I will say June...

And I'm not saying that I was above it at all, but watching this movie with you was particularly enjoyable simply because it was like watching a person who never has studied take an SAT.

And there was frustration, and there was anger, and there was yelling. We'll get into it. This is what I'll say. I feel like it's the picture of the woman in Times Square in Westworld. Like, it caused you to short-circuit.

I kept on saying, I mean, I don't know how many times I said to you, do you know what's going on? Like, I felt very scared that I had missed so much. But here's the thing. I didn't understand any of it, but I also didn't care to understand it. Yeah. That's the other part of that. And it's so important. I didn't care to. And that's what made me angry. Well, buckle up. Joining us tonight, a very special guest. Uh,

You've seen him in the movie Office Christmas Party. You can watch him on the television show Veep. He has a brand new Comedy Central show called The Detroiters coming out in February. Please welcome Sam Richardson. Hi. Welcome. Welcome, Sam. And I apologize, because this is a tougher movie than we normally do. I don't know what it was. Ha ha ha!

It could have been forwards or backwards. I, at some point, wrote, was this cut out of order? I wrote... Michael Ironsides appears to be able to be everywhere at once. I wrote down this and I mean it with 100% sincerity. This is not for comedic effect. Majority of this film I spent not understanding anything that was going on. I'm so happy to hear that for this very reason.

Early on into the movie, I realized something very important. Okay. I have never seen Highlander. As such, I was like, oh, this must be all Highlander stuff. Yeah.

That I'm not aware of because I didn't see Highlander. Now it's all insider jokes. But I'm glad to hear that you guys also felt like it was absolute gobbledygook. Well, let me tell you something, Jason. Tell me, Paul. If you were a Highlander fan, you also would not understand it. Okay, good. Because apparently what has happened is they decided, well, yeah, Highlander was good, but we can't just continue those characters forever.

Let's just get rid of everything that we set up and create a brand new world. Does Highlander take place in 2024? No. What? Literally, it is... This is not the world of the first movie? Not at all. I'm being very serious. Whoa! There is nothing about this movie that is technically a sequel. Is the first movie travel time? Well, the first movie goes back to...

The days of actual Highlanders. Yeah. Okay. But then it's 1985, and then, like, this...

Right, yeah, they're in the Scottish Highlands. Yeah, exactly, like Scotsman. But sometimes when they're in the Scottish Highlands, he's got a machine gun. That made no sense. I couldn't crack that at all. Well, that was like some Zardoz-level nonsense. Well, it's interesting. It isn't. Well...

Whatever's about to follow, I guarantee is not interesting. Well, here's what I will put down, and I'll just throw it out there, because I think it's worthy, because there's probably some people who watch the Renegade edition, which is the director's cut, and there's some people who probably just watch regular Highlander 2, the quickening. The big difference. By the way, this all makes me sick. Like, all these words make me fucking sick. Fucking hate this. I hate it.

The big difference that they made with this movie was that in the sequel, the Highlanders are from the planet Zeist, and they are coming from another planet to come to Earth. What? Yes. Now, the renegade cut cuts that out. In this movie, they shot it

In theory, going interplanetary travel? Yes. As well as time travel? So the Highlanders live...

in another planet and they come here. So they don't live in the Scottish Highlands. Which, by the way, that might explain why he had a machine gun. Because that was not olden days. That was current... Current Zeiss days. Current Zeiss days, just on another planet. I didn't know that watching this. Uh,

And I'm so glad that, because I was watching that movie like, I'm going to do a bad job with this because I'm the only one who doesn't understand what's happening. Nope.

I felt like I didn't understand why Christopher Lambert was old. Lambert. I didn't understand why he kept falling asleep in the opera. I didn't understand why the opera was being terribly lip synced. Terrible. Like, they spent so much money on that opera house, that stage. Just get the fucking opera.

opera singer sing the fucking song and then i also felt like was he was flashing back to this other now i'm realizing planet where he is like the neo of the well but the renegade the renegade cut does not allow you in on that fact like oh like you can't what is the renegade cut the one that we watch that's the director's version the director was you watched renegade

The best. Lorenzo Lamas? No. Wait, that's the cut you watched, I mean? Well, that's what it's called. The Renegades Cut. If you watched it on iTunes... I didn't. Okay. Oh, I didn't. I watched it on Hulu. Oh.

You might have watched. Well, we'll find out. Well, if you don't know about the Zeiss, do you know about Zeiss? I know nothing about Zeiss. I don't know anything about Zeiss. Then if you watch the Renegade cut, you don't know about Zeiss. Okay, yeah. I was like, shit. Paul, what is Zeiss? I hate it. What is Zeiss? I hate it. Just so you understand what's going on here that makes a difference. If you say Zeiss again, I'm going to punch you right in the nose. I don't want to hear Zeiss. I don't want to hear Renegade. I don't want to hear Quirky.

I don't want to hear quickening. I don't want to hear Highlander. When we were over there watching the trailer and it goes, Highlander 2, the quickening. June goes, the quickening? Didn't know that was the name of the movie. And I was like, I get it. Why would you? Well, let's hear what the producer has to say about this movie and how you can enjoy it. It's a sequel because...

The characters do pick up 25 years later from when the first movie ended and we had to resolve those issues. But it's also a picture that stands completely by itself. It is a story that has a beginning, a middle and an end, leaves us with an opening to go forward again for another picture

But if you've never seen the first Highlander, you should be able to, we felt, watch this one, understand it, and enjoy it. You are wrong. Absolutely not. You can tell he's like sick of answering that question. I don't know. Well, here's the problem. The first movie, Sean Connery dies. Yeah. That's a big part of the movie. Yeah. And the second movie, Christopher Lambert was like, well, I like Sean Connery. We should bring him back.

And they're like, well, he's dead. He's like, well, I won't make this movie. And they're like, all right, we'll bring him back. Was Highlander 2 that big of a success? I mean, Highlander 1, I'm sorry.

Did it necessitate this kind of, like everybody was clamoring for that Highlander sequel? I don't have that research in front of me. I would imagine that people wanted, I mean, Highlander seems like a movie people talk about. People talk about it. It had a great queen soundtrack. Everybody loved, you know, but I don't know if the TV show was inspired by like the quickening or if it was from...

What was the Highlander about? What? What was the Highlander about? Sam, you can probably take this one. Yeah, I'll down on the explanation hat. Connor...

Connor MacLeod. Connor MacLeod. Played by Christopher Lambert. Played by Christopher Lambert. Was a Scottish Highlander and the leader of a tribe. I can't remember the name of the tribe, but they were warring with another tribe. He's in war. The Clan MacLeod. That's the name of his clan. Oh, sorry. And he's playing with a clan other guy. And then in a battle, he gets harmed.

And then he recovers overnight and everybody's like, oh, he's a witch. Turns out he's one of these Highlanders who cannot die unless their heads are removed. But he didn't know that. He didn't know. So he's just finding out in the moment. He's like, wait a minute, what's all this? Uh-oh, zoinks, I'm immortal. And then how does he get to 1985?

he's been living lives, not dying. And the way it is, it's like two highlighters, there can be only one. That means, so like, it's hard to explain. Ha ha!

Don't worry about it. One of these fucking nerds will help us if we need it. I want to see if I can do this. So, like, they have to all... There's a bunch of Highlanders who are these immortal beings who, like... But then they do battle because there can be only one. So they all fight each other over time and they kill each other by removing their heads and then what happens is the quickening where, like, electricity goes and they gain, like, power from these... So they take, like, the essence of...

the dead hyena. Yeah, I hear people like, no, am I wrong? Is that not right? Okay, all right. Something's feeling right about this. You know? So they basically just took... This isn't helping me understand the movie I watched any better. No.

But like, thank you. So Sean Connery's head is chopped off at the end of that movie? Yes, because he's a Spaniard who comes in. He is. Ramirez. Ramirez. Who comes to teach him the ways of the Highlander. He is not a Spaniard at all. And he teaches him about Highlandering.

and then has his head chopped off as a huge, like, you know... Yeah, right, that's a moment. Oh, no, now I've got to avenge my master. It's like the Obi-Wan Kenobi moment. Just a couple more questions. Yes, exactly. So, like, on a day-to-day basis, like, what does a Highlander do? Like, it's a lot of, like, wrist training for, like, a lot of spins like this. They're warriors, though. They're warriors. They're warriors. It's, like, conditioning. But then when not Highlanding, they are...

Titans of industry and developing earth-protecting shields. Well, no, that's what I'm trying to get at, which is like, what do they want out of life? You know, what do they... They just want to keep that head on, baby. Exactly. Keep that head on. So they're living a life...

of fear knowing at one point someone's gonna come around and try to chop their head off. - Try to chop their head off. That's why you always have a sword on you. - But you have to be a Highlander to fight a Highlander? Like you don't take on a Highlander to gain immortality. You have to be also immortal? - I think you already have to be in the club. You can't get access to it from the outside.

So with this phrase, there can only be one. Sorry, Paul. So yes. So they have to battle each other for all time until there's one left. And then they win what's called the prize. What? What? The prize? Yep. And I'm murky on what the prize is. Does anyone know the prize? No.

Mortality. That's right, mortality. So you can die. I would imagine, yes, that most of them are tired of living. Yes. Like all of us. Okay, another question. If I'm a Highlander and I want to end it all, I can't kill myself via decapitation? I don't think they addressed it in the film. The suicidal tendencies of Highlanders.

So that movie takes this beautiful history and flushes it down the toilet. They just keep the head knocking off part of it. Like, that's really the only part that we really get, I guess. Wow, that is wild. And the names. Because he doesn't even seem to be that surprised when Sean Connery pops up. And they're like, oh, yeah, your head got... There was no... And he's like, whoops, here I am. Ramirez, my old friend.

Can I ask another very basic question about this movie? Why do they want the shield down? Oh, okay. This is now about the sequel. Okay. I'm sorry. Well, I understand that. So basically, this will help us because I... Again, it's one of those movies like when you see in the beginning... This is a...

now become a trope of a How Did This Get Made movie where the opening text makes a lot more sense at the end of the movie and I feel like they should replay the opening text maybe midway through or at the end to be like, oh! Every ten minutes, just pop that thing up there. More text crawls is what this needed. It needs to be like a silent movie. Just like indiscriminately throughout the movie, just text blocks. Yeah.

The year is 2024. So the first one, the year is 2024. Second one, industrial pollution has destroyed the ozone layer, leaving the planet at the mercy of the sun's ultraviolet rays. An electromagnetic shield now protects the Earth. Which, by the way, is also in Escape from L.A. Yes. The same idea of like the UV tomorrow is going to be real bad.

It's right all there. I mean, this is what everyone's afraid of, the UV rays. And it goes, a small group believes that the ozone layer has repaired itself and that the shield is no longer necessary. But no one knows for sure. No, I read that, Paul. I got that. You got that? I got that. So? So, I understand that they're not sure, but what I don't understand is why...

I guess why that other guy is keeping the shield up if there's no... What are they gaining from it? Is it money? Money, yeah. I think... Wait, you're talking about the bad guy? John McGill. John McGill, yeah. He's making money. His company makes money. Okay, I guess here's the question. Are we to believe that the world has fallen into... That people are just turned into animals and there's despair everywhere because of this shield? Yes.

Because they can't see the sky. I do think that that is a little bit what... What's her name? Louise? Yes. Says to him is like... Nobody has seen the sun. Like nobody... When she talks about the sun, she almost gets like real horned dog for it. Like she's like, oh, tell me about the clouds. That's like foreplay for them. And what like...

Did video cassette players or DVD players not exist? Could they not watch it? Go back and look. Yeah, I feel like there would be a book around or something. There's like a picture or something of it. They've got TVs in their cars. You'd think they'd have a way to watch stuff from the past. It's 2024. Okay, I guess the other question is, so how is the corporation making money off the Shield? Charging countries.

For protection. It's protection money. Ozone protection. But then that shield comes down. But it's tough because that's one of five plots that are running concurrently and told to you with not the proper backstory. In the beginning, Christopher Lambert is doing his best Jean-Claude Van Damme doing an old man which is like, talking like this. But still the same speed that he would speak as the young man. Just...

But when he has to move, he is Sprite-ly. Also, like, yeah, because he... Because, like, in the beginning, like, you see him look down at this old man and he kind of tips his...

opera goggles to him. But we don't know who the fuck that is. Does he have goggles or is it glasses? Sorry, it was glasses. I want to be able to see the opera that's happening underwater. That's 2024. You love that shit. That's why it looked like it was dubbed. So Christopher Lambert, so he's old at this point. Now,

Just to go back to the first movie. Okay, yeah. Do they get old? No, but he won the prize, right? Is that right? So he won the prize. So he's got to get old. So now he ages and he... So when he gets that cut on his hand and he sees it heal like Wolverine, he's like, shit. He's like, shit, here we go again, essentially. And there's no reason to why he lost the prize. Yeah. No, in this they say, in this thing...

They say, the priests say to Michael Ironside, right? Yes. Both of these movies have all of my favorite character actors. It's the best. Because I watched this one first, Michael Ironside, and I was like, oh yeah, Michael Ironside's the original Powers Booth.

And then in the next movie, Stacy Keach. And I was like, Stacy Keach, the original Powers Booth. I was like, these are titans of villainous character actors from the 80s and 90s. I'm so happy. There's so much, and I think John C. McGinley falls in that category too. So much beautiful scene shooting. It's like, ha, ha, ha. Yeah.

And even Sean Conner is like, fuck it! People are acting their asses off in this movie. But the priests say to Michael Ironside, he's not chosen whether he's going to grow old and die or whether he's going to come back here, which is apparently something called Zeiss.

Which is where they are, and I'm assuming fight Michael Ironsides for supremacy, right? Yeah, I guess that's part of the story. Here's my question. After that moment, when he gets zapped... Then Michael Ironsides is like, well, I guess I'll go to him then. Right, but when he gets zapped, he's going to the future, correct? Correct. So he's not aging... Okay. Yeah. He starts aging in the future from whatever age he was at the moment he was zapped in.

Correct. I think at that point, I'm assuming, well, at that point, at that point when there's two Highlanders, aren't they both immortal?

Yes. I mean, there can only be one. Here's the thing. I think we're going to be unsatisfied if we think we're going to figure it out. Well, here's what we'll never figure it out. They shot three endings. There are three cuts of this movie. Wow. And the director left at a certain point. So there are some giant plot holes in it. As a matter of fact... When he kills both the porcupine boys... Uh-huh.

And what I've now found out is the quickening. The quickening happens and he absorbs their power. Mm-hmm.

There is an explosion of energy all around him. Windows, cars explode, windows are blown out. Yes. The number of civilian casualties that must have died simply so that he could become young, handsome Lombert again. It was worth it. It was worth it. And it seems like it both hurts him when the quickening happens and it seems like he's coming. Which is like sex. That is sex. Oh, yeah.

- Oh yeah! - Just take a listen to this. This is another clip from the documentary of the making of this movie about the actors understanding the movie. - I'd never been in and have never since been in a situation where the plug was pulled and you actually thought to yourself, well hang on, have we finished the movie?

It was a complete nightmare. All of a sudden, people who had been allowed in the cutting room were not allowed in the cutting room. All the creative shifted. You had a new set of bosses. Different producers came in. At the end of the day, we're just like a horse with a different rider on it. And all of a sudden, this rider was like totally into purely finishing the film from an insurance company standpoint. So you have an actor going, I don't know if we finished the movie. So that would be... Well, see, that's why I feel like... Because there were scenes...

where Michael Ironside from scene to scene was like, okay, for example, in the scene where they leave the Max prison, guys, I don't fucking care about the order of this movie. Yeah. I don't think they did. They didn't either.

So they run Michael Ironside over with the truck. Louise is like, ha ha, that was amazing. And then he fights Christopher Lambert on the truck. Sure. They knock him off and they keep driving. Then they're driving to climb the ladder to the seat above the shield. Cut to Michael Ironside in a room with John C. McGinley. He's like, we don't have any idea where they're going. Like, you just fell off the car.

Like, where were you? Where were you when you fell off the car? They're not much farther from there. Like, why did you come back? Why? He got an Uber. He went back. He was like, I lost it. And they have a scene which is genuinely like, John McGinley's like, I don't know. And it's like, how did you get back here so fast? The fuck is going on? And I think that's not meant to be there.

Well, of course not. Like, I mean, this movie, like, well, I think I figured out that this was not a very well-made movie. I felt like all the fight scenes in this movie was like watching a theme park stunt show. It was like they would shoot something and like a giant piece of a balcony would fall off. Like, gun! And they're like, wait, how would that... And like a sharply cut off piece of balcony. Like, no like fray at the edge. Just...

Like, you know that there's a guy at the bottom that shows over and goes right back in the face. And the guy who's on a wire who's got, like, he's got wings. This is one of the porcupine boys. Porcupine boys have... One dude's got a hoverboard. Yeah. And that shit is nonsense. When Lombert jumps on the hoverboard and starts flying around...

And then he's being chased by Porcupine Boy with wings. They're both moving so slowly. They're both moving at such slow, deliberate paces. It's...

beyond belief. Now, I'll tell you who was really nervous about that hoverboard scene, Robert Zemeckis, because they, Back to the Future 2 was not out yet, and they're like, oh shit! Oh no! So they got real freaked out from Highlander. If Highlander 2 gave us anything, they'd give us cooler hoverboards. Marty McFly would have been on these, like, two. I felt like this is where, like, the Wachowskis were like, ooh!

I know what we can do in Jupiter Ascending. We'll give him flying boots. The problem is the board. You guys might know this, but when do you think this movie was made? I know when it was, but it doesn't feel like it was. 2024? 2024. I'm going to say 1987. Okay. No, 1990. Got it.

I'm going to price this right at 1991. 1991. 100% 1991. But this is crazy because it doesn't feel like... These are the movies where they're contemporaries. Terminator 2. Yeah. Like...

Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, and Beauty and the Beast. Like, this is like... If this feels like... I mean, maybe it's just the fact that they shot it in Buenos Aires. It's like, you know, it's like old cameras. Taking shots. Taking shots at Buenos Aires. Weirdly, though, there's a couple of scenes. Like, the scene where...

Sean Connery where he's trying on the suit. Like, that looks... I love that scene. I mean, I genuinely... I loved it. I loved it. It was the best scene. Because it felt like a movie. Exactly. It felt like a movie and it looked like a movie. Yeah. I was like, finally I understand a character's wants in a scene from beginning to end and they are unchanged. By the way...

It's not like, I know what he wanted at the beginning of that scene and then a bunch of nonsense happened and then I don't know where we are now. The man simply wants a suit. And I also felt like, why didn't they ever make a prank show where Sean Connery just got on stage during Broadway productions and interrupted? That was my favorite scene. That was the best. And by the end of it, the audience was on

board. Oh yeah. He comes and interrupts the middle of Hamlet. It starts like making fun of Hamlet and he's interrupting a show and the audience gets on his side. They start out like this like what this guy and then he just bows and they're like yeah! Bravo! That was theater! Why does Sean Connery land where he lands? I

Why when Christopher Lombard says, I need you, Ramirez, my old friend, and thus conjures him, why doesn't Sean Connery show up? Is there something in there that seems to say that the shield bounces him away? Well, I have a theory. Oh, yeah, okay. I think it's because he was decapitated in Scotland that he returns to Scotland. Okay, I'll take it.

All right, I like that. The nerds agree. The odd part of this, when he does appear in Scotland, and this is a screen grab, which if you're listening, you can't see, is everyone's dressed like they're from the 1940s. Which is also hard to, like, oh, so in Scotland, they kind of stopped. Like, they stopped. They went backwards almost, because the shield only went up in 1999. Yeah.

So they went backwards in time. Yeah, you would think they would be dressed... Oh, who cares? One of my favorite scenes in this movie was early on. There's a theme... Should we see that Hamlet scene, by the way? Is it worth... Just because we have it, and it's one of my... I think it's the best scene in the movie. Here we go, just real quick. Alas, poor Yorick.

I knew him Horatio. Actually the name is Ramirez. Will you get out of here? I'm a Spaniard. Excuse me? A fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. Forgive me for interrupting your conversation but... He hath formed me upon his back a thousand times. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Char.

Whatever you gentlemen felt for each other when your friend was still alive is certainly none of my affair. What's your fucking game, shithead? Shithead? What's a shithead? My apologies! Enough of this useless banter. I shall be on my way and leave you to converse with your scum. Farewell, dear shithead.

And the stage manager very upset. Good on that actor for watching a man apparate on stage and then trying to continue the scene. Professional. Professional. And also when he makes his exit, who's playing the bagpipes? Who's playing the bagpipes for the Spaniard who has appeared on stage?

They play bagpipes in every scene that he is in. That is like his... He has like a motif, like it's underneath. Like, oh, we got to play bagpipes. Remind people. Very subtle. And I also feel like there was a point where Sean Connery was like, the reason why he has that scene where he gets in a suit is just because he's like, I'm not wearing this fucking Highlander outfit. I'm going to work for three days tops. You're going to pay me $10 million. And I'm going to wear a nice suit. And guess what? I'm keeping it.

He looks great. I also just like that Sean Connery is notorious for picking the wrong movies. It's amazing. He was supposed to be in Lord of the Rings. He's like, no, I'll do League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. He was supposed to be in The Matrix. He's like, no, thank you. He's turned down every good movie and just been like, yep, Highlander 2, where do I sign? Yeah.

Only if you make the origin story that we started on another planet and get zapped here, who knows why. Then I'll do it. That's my Sean Connery impression. It was great. I liked it. I think it's pretty good. June, I interrupted you before we played that scene. Did you have a thought there before? Oh, I was thinking, the female characters in this movie...

are insane. The woman in the bar in an early scene. Oh, yeah. I am so obsessed with it. It's a performance unlike anything I've ever seen. It was really quite something. Like so many facets of it. I always wanted to meet the guy that turned the world to shit. Well, he saved our lives if you ask me. I'm not asking you.

Okay. What do you want? Did you ever think about that before you covered the sky with that puke? I work all day and my life stinks and it's your goddamn fault, you old bastard. Don't turn your back on me. Hey, there are some people in this world who know when to stop and some people who don't.

Which kind are you? Okay, Miss Nobody, you're out of here. Come on, come on. Come on, come on. I'll take it back. No prosthetics. I'm sorry, Mr. McCloud. No problem, Jimmy. No problem. What the? Son of a bitch! I love the runaway. I love her. I love her. I love that she runs away. Okay, I'm obsessed with her, and I'm also obsessed with the woman on the airplane.

Oh, yeah. Obsessed. Also, also, why does the plane appear to be from the 1940s? Also on that plane, why is the instructional video come on halfway through the damn flight? Also, why does it end with a plane crash? Why does the safety video for the plane end with the plane crash? Well, there's a lot of footage of the plane like...

of harrowing footage. It is, I would argue, worse than any airplane disaster movie you've ever seen. It's really scary. Used to calm

Mid-flight. It is crazy. Sean Connery appears to be like, he also is in the air for like days of movie time. So much happens to Lambert while Connery's in the air. It's all this movie, guys. I wanted to ask you guys what he meant by this because they go, would you like some food? They show him some food and he goes, no, I won't eat anything I can't identify. Okay.

And then... Oh, yeah. He kind of says... Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, but that's not always the case. Yeah. To a woman. Yeah, because I can't always identify that puss. Yeah. I mean, but then see it. I'll chow down on it, even if it's an unidentifiable puss. And those are the lines that got Sean Connery two sexual harassment lawsuits during the filming of this movie over nine days. What? What?

What are you talking about? Are you saying that that scene in the movie was, he didn't know he was being filmed? I want to improvise a line just a bit. Woo!

Oh my God, that's amazing. But yeah, that was an odd way to come on to a woman because it also, she kind of liked it. She loved it. She loved it. I've never seen a person laugh harder at anything in my life. You do have to be like, if you turn down putting stuff in your mouth and you want to get with the lady next to you, you do have to assure her that you do indeed put stuff in your mouth. June, June.

Do you identify with Louise when she sees the raw masculinity of Christopher Lambert? She? And just... I have a lot to say about that scene. I mean, ultimately, it was just like the same haircut, like, making out and fucking, like, watching two people who have the same haircut. Do you think that's what was attractive to her is she saw herself in his hair? She was just an egotist. And she's just a narcissist? She's a super narcissist. They do not know each other. He...

throws her in a dumpster as an old man. Like a child's magic trick, when she comes out of the dumpster, he's a young man, so she raw dogs him. In the street. Against a wall in the street. She's like, you were old moments ago. I've come out of a dumpster, you're young. Put it inside me. By the way, what is that?

He does it quite quickly. Oh, he just goes for it. And by the way, they're just making out. And I was like, okay, cool. Maybe a make out. But they are hard making out. She's making out with his chin and he shoves it in and comes. Yeah. He just came. We just watched him come. It was quick. It was quickening. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Guys, guys, guys, thank you.

Guys, I'd like to accept my howdy for the best. No, you got to wait two and a half some odd years before the next one comes out.

Here's the thing I'll say on her behalf. First of all, let's not just entirely blame her for this. I mean, it's completely... He's being insane. But it does seem like there's an energy to this world where people are just fucking in the streets. Well, that's in the opening scene. But it starts on the opening scene. There's a woman being fucked on a mattress on the street. That was really disturbing. Which was not cool.

No, yeah. I wouldn't say fucked. I would say being raped, right? Yeah. She didn't seem entirely conscious to you. Yeah, this seemed like a real loving relationship. This started off real nice. This is like a real, this is like, hey, a great meet cute, as you would call it. Very Harry Met Sally moment. She just watched him de-age decades and stand out of a fire. Yes. Like, yeah.

But then he asks her, who are you? And then they fuck. She's like, I want some of this. I got to, you know, oh my gosh. That isn't, this isn't a very intense scene because there's, that's the only connection between them. And then in the next scene, she explains the entire. That's 15 seconds. I just counted it. Oh. That's 15 seconds of penetration. And he came. I mean, probably he hasn't fucked in like hundreds of years.

No, not true, because we do find out that he's had wives and girlfriends. Yeah, no, no, you're right, you're right. But that was 15 seconds of sex, at which point, like, that's disappointing, I think. Sometimes Highlanders can't hold it back. And he doesn't apologize. He's not like, my bad, give me a minute, I'll go again. He's proud of himself. Yeah, he's like, I did it. Yeah! There can be only one. Yeah!

The original way Ramirez came in was, Ramirez, I need your help! And Sean Connery from behind, and it's a very awkward scene. That's not the Renegade cut. He's like, I'll help you, Highlander. I'll eat anything I can't identify. Seconds later, though, this scene happens, which is, I think...

Always there are things in these movies, title cards, flying skateboards, skateboard scenes, and then a movie, and then this point, which is probably about 30 minutes in, where they just go, okay, shit, the audience is lost. How about this? Oh, amazing. See if I can get this straight. You're mortal there, but you're immortal here until you kill all the guys from there who have come here, and then you're mortal here. Unless you go back there...

Or some more guys from there come here, in which case you become immortal here. Again. Something like that. Of course. It would be something like that, wouldn't it? Even he's not sure. He's not. I think that was the actress legitimately asking and was being filmed. It was a pre before they called action. And there's a moment there where he looks down at sides and is like, I don't know.

I mean, this whole movie reeks of additional recording later. Oh, yeah. Some why each other. Say this as quick as you can, Virginia Madsen. Okay, so here's the plot. You came here and I didn't...

There's no, like that's like, thank God they had that wide shot to shove that all in. Guys, there's so much to talk about. Oh, go ahead, Sam. Sorry. Sorry. My other favorite thing about this scene is that he just got back from being an old man. So now he's a young man and he just got home and he's got denim jeans that fit so sweet and tight. Did they stop at a store on the way home? Yeah.

Yeah, he really got into it. He walked out of the fire dressed like a fashionable young man. No, he walked out of the fire in the same clothes as the old man, but the clothes didn't burn. Are the clothes immortal? Yeah. Oh, that's an interesting question. It's not even like the Hulk. It's not like the Hulk where his clothes are ripped and tattered. They are just hanging off. Because that makes total sense. Yeah.

I wanted to also talk about the psychic cooking show. Yes! Oh, it's my favorite part. That's my favorite cook. Psychic cook. So what was going on there? Psychic cook and the airplane video are part and parcel of the same thread of insanity that's running through this movie. It's like these two moments of what entertainment is. So again, we're at 25 years under the dome. It's 2024. And now there is a psychic cook who's calling ghosts...

And then like cooking next to them as they choke each other. Yeah, that was the thing. Why is that ghost killing the other ghost? That's entertainment, baby. I couldn't figure this out at all. So it's a world in which ghosts exist and can be broadcast over TV. That's another part of this world. And that's why probably people are fucking this movie. And it seems like a very highly regarded show. Huge.

It felt like they were trying to have those moments from RoboCop where it's like the commercial for the car that electrocutes somebody. It's like, oh, that's a commentary on what things would be like in the future. This one was like, also ghosts are in the future. You can eat and see them eat and they're like see-through. Yeah.

And planes crash in the video and trucks. It's edgy. You get it. And the subway goes 700 miles an hour. If you just push it fast enough. You just gotta turn the knob. Why would the subway ever had a gauge that would go... Why would it be built... Why would the subway be built to even go that fast? It makes no sense. In case businessmen are in a hurry. 700 miles an hour. A man's... A man's face...

It explodes off of his skull because of the speed that the subway is effortlessly capable of achieving. My question is, is why didn't Sean Connery take a subway from Scotland to wherever they are? Great, great. I love too that Michael Ironside says to the kid,

You want to see how fast this thing can go? And by the way, real fast is the answer. Really very fast. And every single person on that subway dies. I was like, oh, this is crazy. And then I was like, oh, wow, they're killing everybody. Children. I mean, everybody's dead on that subway. That little kid is dead to him.

Meanwhile, oh, that whole thing too. Wait, is this video or is that just the picture? I have a video of the subway scene. Can you play it, please? Yeah. Only because, only because it happens, this movie has one of the best insane visuals to terrible electric guitar scores combinations of any movie we've ever done. Well, you know, Sam, you brought up

that the first movie, the music was done by Queen. This movie, the music was done by Stuart Copeland from the police. From the police? Yes. Oh, by the way, bad on him. Because this is terrible. And I love Stuart Copeland. Yeah, that's what... All right, here we go. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

that mother went after her kid in a very lackluster way. The baby carriage rolls down and she's like trying to get him. She's like, man, she doesn't cry out like, oh my baby. Someone say stop it. She's like, oh crap. I'd also like to think if I'm a passenger on the train and not the mother of that child that I would reach out and just stop it. Oh, there you go. Save that baby. Let me help you. Yeah.

What I also love about these actors are all... I mean, Christopher Lambert gives the most grounded performance, I would argue. Virginia Madsen, too. But they were so into the roles that Lambert refused to use fake swords for the fight scenes. And the first time they ever gave him a real sword, he cut his finger down to the bone. Oh, my God. And then Michael Ironside chopped off a part of Lambert's finger. Oh, my God.

And then Lambert got his tooth chipped. And then Michael Ironside dislodged his jaw in a fight scene. And then after that, they were like, okay, you have to use plastic swords. And then still, Lambert has terrible eyesight, so he can't see. And he almost cut off Michael Ironside's thumb. So...

And basically his argument was, well, it's hard to do precision thrusts when you're wielding a 22-pound broadsword. So that was his... But it was worth it. It shows in the film. Hey, Paul? Paul, can you forward to the end of this scene by any chance? Not the very, very end, but the last 15 seconds maybe? Yeah, yeah. What do we got?

Okay. I just, okay, I want to watch, I want to watch the guy's head explode and then I want Michael Ironsides' final line if we have it. Yeah, hopefully we do. Here we go. Hey, Michael. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. So he comes out, looks straight down the barrel of the lens and goes, last stop. Ah.

Right? Is that what it was? Hold on. I wrote that, yeah. Everyone's dead, but he looks right into camera. It's like he's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, last stop. They say things sometimes that feel very bizarre in the world. It's like, well, I wouldn't say that. Okay, especially because Michael Ironsides and Sean Connery

They do a little bit of business with Sean Connery, but they make no effort to have them be like, what world am I in? You know what I mean? Like Michael Ironsides just starts driving a train. He was just zapped here from Zeiss. Or the past. Or the past on Zeiss. I don't know. I had to believe that he's been zapped there before.

You think? I think it's possible. Yeah, I do. Maybe Zeist has subway trains. Maybe he did semester abroad. On Earth. But he was at Zeist U. But there are some odd moments because then when Sean Connery comes in, he kind of makes some sort of weird reaction to a statue and Christopher Land Bear is like, that's a sculpture. Yeah. Well, yeah, I think...

arguably the one thing you probably did have was some sort of like stone carving would be the most familiar thing. That's not new. Yeah, that's not a new thing. It's like, that's a TV. I get, it's like, what is this odd stone thing of a man? But then like, also like, he's here and then he sees like a bus go by and he's like, whoop, so much for horse and buggies and then he's like, boop-a-doo! Like, he...

They're unfazed. Look, John C. McGinley watches Michael Ironside come in and is like, you just kill all these people. He's like, I'm not even moving. And he's just a businessman. No, he's not just a businessman. He's the head of S.H.I.E.L.D. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And then, doesn't Michael Ironside... I don't even know what Michael Ironside's doing, but he gets a man's face on the table and he's like... He's like just pulling his head open from his jaw. And you're just hearing like, Crack, crack, crack, crack. I have a real question. Up until now, none of my questions have been real. No. Okay. Michael Ironside, Sean Connery, Christopher Lambert. Okay? They all are from the past...

Also, maybe are from another planet. Yes. Okay. Regardless, they find themselves in 2024 on Earth. Yes. How do they keep finding each other everywhere they go? They are so easily locatable by each other at all times. Do Highlanders know where other Highlanders are? It's an app. Oh. Hang on, asshole. Wait, is that real?

Wow, they're drawn to each other. They're drawn to each other. Wowee, okay. Okay, then actually, I'm glad you said that because I was really like, this is shitty that they keep showing up and being like, I found you. When you say they're drawn to each other, do you mean they have to sort of put the vibe out they're looking for someone or they're just naturally...

Well, because I guess their only job is to kill each other, right? Yeah, exactly. So they have like a homing beacon to the guy that they're going to fight. And to win the prize.

To die. To die. So you're dying either way. Yeah, exactly. You're either going to get your head cut off or you're just going to die in natural causes. Eventually. Not really a great upside there. How about the fact that when he goes out to fight, Virginia Madsen straight up reads his centuries-old diary? Oh, yeah. She's like, oh, what's this big book? Also, like, I'm not a big journal keeper, but...

But, like, he's been keeping the same diary for hundreds of years. It's one book. Does he do, like, one entry a year? Highlanders are thrifty. They get, you know, a moleskin notebook. But I'm also like, hey, don't look at my diary. Yes, I'm immortal, but, like, don't worry about it. And she's basically like, so, there have been other women? I did appreciate that he has... So, who's this bitch? LAUGHTER

I did appreciate he had amazing penmanship, which is it's really going the way of the dodo bird. People don't have good penmanship anymore. What about was his wife talking to him from beyond the grave too? When she was all burned up?

Now, if you are sick with UV rays, is that what you look like? I think you're all burned up. So you've gone outside and you got burned? You were exposed to the sun. This is what I'm assuming because there were so many people. The sun is too powerful and you get all burned up and that's why they created the shield to keep

the UV rays out, but to plunge us into a dystopian future of darkness. Wouldn't it have just been better to start the movie with him creating the shield? Yeah, I would have loved to have seen that. When you finally get to the idea that he created this. Oh, you mean a shield origin story? Yeah. You're like...

You're at least 40 minutes deep. You're well into it. You know the shield exists. Yeah. So they're like, oh, here we go. We're going to turn it on. I'm like, I know it's on. Yeah, like the better thing that would have been was like, he's visiting his wife. She's dying. Then he creates the shield and then flash cut to the opera. In the middle of it. Or in the middle of the, in the middle of the, oh, I see what you're saying. Sorry. That's how to start the movie. That's how you would start it. That's a great idea. Just be like, here's, just, hey, audience, we'd like you to follow along with us just a tad. Yeah.

Instead of making it a reveal, which doesn't, only the reveal is like, oh, it's beginning to make sense. Like, that's what they're revealing is just sense. Have we even mentioned that Virginia Madsen, Virginia Madsen? Yeah. Is a eco-terrorist? We have yet to mention her flawless break-in at Shield HQ.

Which involves some real nonsense. These people would have been caught instantly. Everyone seems to give up very quickly. And everybody gains access to everything very quickly. Immediately. That's all.

I also didn't, I legitimately don't get, didn't get, like when she was out there and she was changing her clothes, she took off her clothes in the street after her amazing espionage mission, and then there was a phone number and there was a note. Where did that come from? And then that was just it? Would it say McCloud and his phone number? And then she randomly, I thought you were somebody else, and then that's when all they addressed it. Who gave her that number? Who gave her that number? And did she call it?

Wait, wait, wait. For real, who gave her that information? I don't know. Ramirez? I thought maybe she found it while she was in, maybe it was a scene that they cut where she found it during that mission. I don't know. Maybe the cab driver gave it to him. She's supposed to meet him. It's an address. It's not a phone number. Oh, it's an address. That's right. Which would lead me to believe she's coming to the bar to meet him where he is when the Porcupine Brothers attack.

But why is she sent to meet with him? Because he created the shield? By whom, though? Maybe by his partner? Oh, because that old man was sending messages to somebody, remember? And then like John C. McGinnis was like, I see all those messages. Yeah, that's who they sent. They sent him to prison then. Yeah. This is hard. The audience is doing a lot of work. Those messages that you're talking about are the messages he was just communicating with...

Fuck. Fuck it. This isn't a good movie. I never, and by the way, just I want to talk about you and I watching this movie together. You were, I'm being serious, I've never seen you get this mad at a movie. I was really mad. And feeling like someone was tricking you. Because you said to me, you were like, do you get it? Do you get it? And I said, and then at one point I said, yeah, of course. I really think you're mad.

And you would reply like, tell me! Tell me! I was like, well, you know, because it's about, it's more of a metaphor. It's not necessarily a straight story. And you're like, what? No, because what anchors me about you is that you then go on after viewing this to do tons of research about the movie and understand it. And if I did that research, yeah, I'd understand it too. But I'm just with an open heart coming here today

Describing my reactions. Paul, how does that make you feel? What June just said was how she felt and how she feels. How does that make you feel to hear that? I guess maybe I need to have more of an open heart. I'm so sorry. We just asked him a question. I know, but I just looked at the clock. Should I be here for this? We're so appreciative that you're here.

Well, obviously, we have a lot of questions, but we've barely tapped the surface. Now we're coming to you to answer or to ask us some questions, to answer some questions, to make observations. We're not going to have answers. You never know. I think that is a guarantee. You never know. You might have a real Highlander head in the house. All right. Okay, here we go. Sir, your name, your logline, Highlander 2, the blank, what would you call it, and your question? Highlander 2...

All right, I like it. Here's your question. What the hell was happening with Sean Connery and the fan? Like, could he... Oh, yeah. Sean Connery, yeah. When Sean Connery used the force? And then he just blew up? The fan didn't crush him? No, no, you mean when he used the force. But then he died. He didn't get his head cut off. But my whole theory about Sean Connery...

It was a beheading device. That's the whole point of the device. But I also thought then, like, as a, just as, like, a creative type, I was like, why even bring Sean Connery here? Because the action, if you track Sean Connery's story, it's like, he interrupts a play, he gets a suit, he meets Christopher Lambert, and then he kills himself. Like, he doesn't do, he doesn't do anything. Well, he helps get Christopher Lambert into the jail by having the both of them get shot 200 times. But, like...

By the way, Virginia Madsen's in the trunk and somehow makes it out alive. She would be so dead. How did he get that door open? And where did that come from? What door? Oh, yeah. The door they got out of. Magic. Magic is the answer. Well, you're asking a lot of great questions, so I'm going to give you this pamphlet of what happened to Lumpy from the Star Wars Christmas special. Oh, my God.

So I left some gifts. There's actually, for you three, there's one that relates to the Star Wars Christmas special for Jason. He wants to know what a Wookiee cookie is. So I'm sorry. We're allowing random bags to just be put on stage. I'm sorry. Largo staff, what's going on? Are we just cool with randos leaving bags on stage? What world are we living in? Guys, come on! Also, where's my gift? Ha ha ha ha!

All right, ma'am, your name, well, you would subtitle the Highlander 2 movie. And can you point out anything that you've left on stage? So first of all, what's your name? Jennifer. Jennifer. Highlander 2, the? Sex Too Fast. All right, your question. I was just wondering, in the scene where Sean Connery goes to the shop to get his clothes, if anybody thought of Pretty Woman at that point?

1,000%. Yes, but only because I'm always thinking about pretty women. Also, like, why was... I thought Sean Connery might say, big name. It's not in the writing aid version, but it's in one of the others. Also, why was the main guy being such a dick about that tart, that Scottish print? He was like, no! But like, well, you don't know if he likes it or not. You know why? Because the other guy kept trying to put Scottish stuff on him, and he knew that he was a Spaniard. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

But then that back, but why is that back part for following him around all the time? Here's something for you. This is a little graphic design from someone called Hanksy. He's like Banksy, but with pop culture. Hanksy. All right, yes. Yes, your name, your title, and your question. Here we go. What's your name? My name is Shane. Shane. Highlander 2, the? There should have only been one. Okay, great. Your question.

Okay, so did you guys notice that when he goes to the bar and the bartender knows him, they cheers to a drink. He's drinking whiskey. The bartender, for some reason, is drinking a tall glass of milk. Ew. Ew.

And they live in a world where the, I don't know if they said it in the movie, but it read that it's 99 degrees outside at all times. So he's drinking a tall glass of milk on a hot day. Gross. And what's even crazier is I heard it was breast milk. Because that's what everybody's into in 2024. Boob juice. And they were. I had a terrible joke. I'm not going to say anything.

This is, that's a great observation. A lot of research went into that. And you get this notebook that is using the VHS cover of Masters of the Universe done by this guy on Facebook called facebook.com slash piece of work, W-E-R-K. Yes, your name, so your subtitle and your question. What's your name? Kevin, and it's Highlander 2 who writes this shit. Great, love it.

Apparently, by the way, an Argentinian financial company who, when the movie started going over budget, they started giving script notes. Anyway, here we go. Oh, that's amazing. Now, there's really only one Highlander. That's Connor McCloud. Everybody else is just immortal. He's the Highlander because he's from the Scottish Highlands, right? You tell me, bro.

Like a Dracula. You're speaking more authoritatively than I am. If you say so. No, but you know, when Sam was describing it, I assumed that they're all Highlanders and they just battle until there's one left. But then why did Sean Connery call him Highlander? But what was Sean Connery? What's Sean Connery? Sean Connery was actually Egyptian by way of Spain. Wait, Sean, did you hear this? Yeah.

Yeah, this is crazy because the only Scottish person in the movie played a Spaniard. So the only Scottish person in the movie played a Spaniard or an Egyptian by the way of Spain. So he's a Highlander. So what makes Christopher Lambert special? Not his acting, I'll tell you what. Whoa! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Christopher Lambert. He's over there crying. He's not coming out.

He's so upset at you. He's hurt. Oh, he's not coming out because he's really sad. Wow. You guys, you would have had a whole interaction with Christopher Lambert if it hadn't been for that guy.

Wow, Chris, Chris. Oh, Chris, no. Chris, Chris, no. Oh, boy. He's taking a shit. Not backstage. It doesn't hurt him. It just hurts us. All right. Does anyone understand the Highlander a little bit more that we could kind of pick your brain? Okay, that was a very authoritative hand raise. Because I do want to understand. By the way, is it Highlander?

Or Highlander. And, and, and... And is it Toyota based on that? Which is the Toyota? So are you driving... When you drive a Highlander, is it impenetrable? It goes 700 miles an hour! Hey, was that just another Highlander? Shit, there can be only one. Remove the engine!

They never went for that tie-in. And yet another nerd battle of Highlanders on the 101. All right, so you have some Highlander knowledge. Yeah, I'm going to go back and kind of finish what the prize is. So not only is it, because mortals are sterile, so he's not going to be sterile anymore, but he's also going to be more. Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm going to ask you to not gloss over that fellow. That's sterile? Mortals are sterile.

He's upset because in the first one... Immortals. Immortals are. Immortals are. He's upset in the first one because he has a wife and she can't get pregnant and it's his fault because he's immortal. So anyway, the prize, he becomes mortal, but also he gets to hear the thoughts and become one with nature and hear the thoughts of everybody. So my whole problem with the second movie is how does he not know that people are misusing what he's trying to do? Anyway, so that just bothers me the whole time. So upon gaining mortality, he can just...

get his wife pregnant? Well, he can become fertile, but he can also hear everything. Yeah. Got it. So at the end of the movie, the prize is he's going to know everything going on. He can hear the thoughts and everything, but he's supposed to help bring humanity together. Got it. So he's like Professor X. Yes. Without the room. Without Cerebro. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And he can walk, as was pointed out here. Yeah.

But then he doesn't have a baby. And can walk. Hey, dick move, bro. Thanks for the explainer, but you don't have to take Professor X to task for being in a wheelchair, bro. Yes, you have a good question. Come here.

And I always like when someone pimps out one of their friends. Here we go. Your name, your subtitle, and your question. My name is Jenny. It is Highlander 2, The Confusing. Ooh, I like that. And I want to know where Sean Connery gets his wham, his walking around money, because I know that he traded... It was his earrings. Right, no. But that earring is definitely not worth, at best, 500 bucks, right? Whoa! Not nearly as much as that suit. And then he gets on a plane. How did he get to the plane? How did he get that ticket? I agree.

How's Michael Ironside doing all the same stuff? I agree. That is a 400 or 500 year old earring, though.

They go up in value every hundred years. And it made me. So is it a cash back thing? Does he give that earring to the suit place? Like, well, I guess we'll pay you $2,000 extra. Does he take the earring and put it in the cash register? Yeah. And he see like, you owe me change. Is there a barter system in 2024? Like beads for suits? Yeah, but then you'd have to get like a cash back at a certain point or cut that earring up in half. Right, like shave it.

This is a tough question. You know what? This is the part of the movie that makes no sense. And that's a bummer because up until now, everything has added up for me. But that's a hole that I feel like they didn't address. By the way, yeah, where did Sean Connery get his wham? We didn't even think about that. And it sucks because you loved it and now your mind's going to go there all the time. Yeah, now the movie's kind of ruined for me. Thanks a lot. Wait, is wham a thing?

Is Wham a thing? I love it. Raise your hand if you've heard Wham before for walking around money. Everybody in her row. Her three friends raised their hand. I was just making sure I'm not insane. So just to be clear, Wham is not a thing. You should stop saying it. She's trying to get it out there.

Trying to get it out. I want to come to you guys. You both are wearing the same sweatshirt, right? Oh my gosh, this is great. It's a The Room, not the Brie Larson movie, but the Tommy Wiseau movie. And it's a Christmas sweater that says, you're tearing me apart, Lisa. But it's a Christmas decorated room sweater. It's awesome. Let's talk to both of you. Your name, your subtitle, and your question.

My name is Bri, Highlander 2, let's get zeisty. Like it?

so there's this part where Christopher Lambert goes to see his former partner at the shield office where there's a lot of industrial fans happening. Um, and this computer screen is like the see-through thing. And John McKinley walks in the room and they're acting like super secret. Like he can't actually just see what's on the screen. And also John C. McKinley doesn't say a word about the fact that fucking Christopher Lambert, who started this company, uh,

Yeah. And not... Nope, barely anybody does. His partner's like, you look great. What did you do, a facelift? He's like, something like that. If by a facelift you mean I murdered two immortals, I threw the quickening, gained my immortality back, raw-dogged this lady...

Well, now at least we know he can do that without the fear of impregnating her. And it makes that part of the movie a lot more palatable to me. And now I'm here talking to you, old dude. I'm also going to give you a little piece of work for that. And now your name, your title, and your question. Name's Jem. Highlander 2, The Freeman of Zeist.

The what? The Free People of Zeist. Okay, got it. Love it. So this movie with Michael Ironside, his henchmen actually tell him what the plot hole of the whole fucking movie is before he starts anything in the Renegade cut. And he's just like, no, no, it's fine. The porcupine men literally say, if you send us back in time, he's going to be in Molotov again. You could just wait a couple years and he can die. Yes.

So the whole movie doesn't even happen. But didn't the priest say that he could still choose to come back to Zeiss? Oh, God. Yeah, you're right. You're right. But I guess what I took away from that, and again, I don't know a ton about Highlanders, but... Wait. June, you don't. I don't. Even having now watched it,

But what I took away from that was this idea of there can only be one. And if he were to die, he would be the one, right? Yeah. So that's why he went to kill him. But wouldn't there be another one? How many? Yeah. So they don't get replaced. I don't know if they keep on popping up. Is Highlander... Okay, now I have a question. Is Highlander a thing that throughout time there is always a Highlander?

Or is he the Highlander because he's from the Highlands and as a result became the Highlander? Yes? Yeah, that was like his... Okay, hey, guy. Hey, hey, hey, bud. Hey, fella. The producer of the movie is here. Christopher Lambert? Okay, hold on one second. I'm done taking a shit and now... Everybody shut up except for the loudmouth. Loudmouth.

Explain it very concisely. Wait, wait, but I got to go too. Really? Do we care? I also feel like we've asked this question like 10 times. Yeah. But I'm curious to hear it again. Okay. Where is it? He's over there, Paul. He's on the other. It's that asshole. I'm going to go around. Going around, going around. Most exercise I've gotten in weeks. Here we go. All right. Here we go. I'll hold the mic. So he's the Highlander because he's from the Highlands. Don't talk to us like we're idiots. Yeah, man.

Hey, hey, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Here's what's not happening. Here's what's not happening. We don't come bring the mic to you after you scream from the audience for you to condescend to me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. June threw down her notebook in disgust. Every member of the stage just got up to fight you.

I want everybody to get a look at this guy.

So that we know who the asshole is. All right. So watch your tone and explain this movie to us. All right, here we go. So the immortals are like capacitors. They contain energy from the universe. And when they kill each other by beheading each other, they gain the energy of the person they beheaded until there's only one. And he contains all of the leftover energy, which is the prize, which he gets to die.

Wait, so the immortals, though, are not Highlanders, but the Highlander is immortal? Okay, so can I ask you this? If in the first movie, and I don't know the first movie, obviously I didn't see it. If Sean Connery had killed everybody, would the movie be called The Spaniard?

Because he's from Spain. It would be called the Egyptian because he's from Egypt and then went to Japan and then went to Spain and then went to Scotland. I legitimately hate you. But... June... But I thank you for your service. So it all comes down to this for me. Now give me a howdy. Never. Never.

June, now it all comes down to, this is what I'll say to you, and I want to ask you in all honesty, do you have a better idea of what a street fighter is or what a Highlander is? You know what? I think Highlander. So you know what a Highlander is? I think so. I think I have a pretty good idea. Want to hit it back? No. No, I don't. I don't. But I think I have a good idea.

I'm going to leave it at that. So there can be only one refers to only one immortal, not only one Highlander. That makes a lot more sense. That's huge. Because the movie is huge. I think, yeah, the idea that there could be a movie called The Spaniard is helpful. Yeah, I think that makes sense. And I wish it hadn't been delivered how it was delivered. Me too. Me too. But I am grateful for the information.

Well, we can talk about the Highlander all day, and we can talk about the Spaniard all night, but there are some people out there that have a different opinion about it than we do. It is now time for Second Opinions. You're a Monday! You're a Monday! You're a Monday! You're a Monday! You're a Monday! The movie was a piece of shit, yet this person recommends it.

That is Jean Lajoie.

The very funny, the very talented John Lozawa, if you have not checked out... He's got a fantastic record. Yes. Go buy it on iTunes. It's really, really great. So, John Lozawa, thank you so much for your second opinions. Theme, and these are five-star reviews called From Amazon. Not many. Not even many one-star reviews. Seem like people passed this one in the reviewing matrix. They were like, not gonna even spend the time, but I do have a few.

This one is from Kevin Gandy, written on January 31st, my birthday, 2015. Wrote simply, just what my child wanted, five stars. To be disappointed. This one. Just what my child wanted, I'm a divorced dad. I don't understand my son. This is written by Lon Sugara, and this is a tough one.

to make sense of. So it's not me, it's Lon. My fantasies get tickles by the dream. The truth about physics is revealed just by watching movies and playing games and eating good food and experiencing different things and hanging around girls. LAUGHTER

It's really just an oxymoron for just about everyone's cover-up of shit. Five stars. Wow. Wow. Like, that's either really profound or it's a bot.

I don't know. We now go deeper into the pit. We go into third opinions. These are where we just see what people gave it, the one-star review. This one is titled, What a Horrible Movie, dot, dot, dot. And it says, I am just confused by this plot. Did anyone read this and say, hey, this makes no sense? One star. Yeah.

So that is the second opinions there. Blake J. Harris will probably go deep with someone to talk about this film. You can find his articles on slashfilm.com. I love doing this show. I love finding out different things. And this is something that I thought was well worth it. I have two things before we kind of wrap up. One is, well, I'll do this first. One is how the movie could have ended. These are the three different endings on the three different things. The fairytale ending.

Louise and Connor return magically to Zeiss, embrace in front of a field of stars, they transform into light and fly into space. That is one ending. Okay. Like all fairy tales. There's a British version, which is ten minutes longer, and it's closer to the original script, and it includes flashbacks and an alternate ending. They don't get more of that. And then...

The Renegade version, which is one that we've watched, is all references to the planet Zeist and them being aliens are removed. A lot of people think this is the best one because it doesn't severely change the canon. It doesn't like it because basically when they become aliens, it basically takes away everything that people have done. I see. And then they tried to make a Highlander TV show about

And so Lambert declined to reprise his role.

So they created a new character called Duncan McCloud, who was also the Highlander. But then Lambert came back in and was in the show. So that kind of confused the mythology again to have two Highlanders. And then another Highlander movie called Highlander 3, The Sorcerer, came in. And I don't know what happened there. But this is kind of my favorite part of the entire thing. This is Roger Ebert...

Trying to explain the plot of this movie. And let's just, I'll just start it right here. Because he talks some shit at the top. But all right, here we go.

Highlander 2, The Quickening. The plot of Highlander 2, The Quickening, is one of the most hilariously incomprehensible experiences I've had in a long time. The immortals from the planet Zyce who are caught in a time warp of their own involving the fact that they got oriented in Scotland 500 years ago, plus events in the year 1999 and more events in the year 2025, plus the cartel, plus the ozone shield, plus the mysterious killer, plus the beautiful independent scientist who exposes the secret of the ozone.

Him trying to put together the movie. And I think he does the best version of it. And that version, he said mysterious killer. Is there a mysterious killer? Wait. Is that Michael Ironside? I guess he's not that mysterious. All right, well, going around the horn...

Does anyone recommend this movie? Would you say watch it? I mean, obviously, not for quality. You know, this is not the la-la land of the season. But it's like, would you say it's enjoyable enough? No. I'm going to say no. It fucked me up. It fucked me up. I'm still like, I can't think. I feel the same. I felt like...

I feel like the way maybe someone that was coming over to the new world would feel when they saw the Statue of Liberty, but when they got off the boat, it was like now? And it was like they came from the 1920s, like what?

It's so much information. It broke me. This movie broke me. It also is so convoluted that it's hard to enjoy on a stupid level. Yeah. Because I find myself continuously just trying to be like, wait, what's actually happening?

And as a result, I'm not enjoying the nonsense. We're in a room of 200 people and we're just about cracking some elements up. Right, but we're also like, we do this a lot. And I was still confounded.

But anyway, so it wasn't as fun as I wanted it to be. But there's some like true nonsense that's pretty enjoyable, but not worth it. Yeah, not worth it. Not worth it. All right. Let's talk about this. So Sam, you have a new show coming out on Comedy Central. We do. It's called The Detroiters. Tell us a little bit about it. It comes out on Comedy Central February 7th. It's about two ad men who make cheap local commercials in Detroit. It stars me and a buddy named Tim Robinson.

and watch it. It'll be on TV. Yeah. It's great. Everything I've seen from it so far looks really, really awesome. June, what do you want to talk about? Nothing. I'll just plug two podcasts that I really love, Bitch Sesh and OMFG. Nice. Also on Earwolf. All right. Nice, Jason. Um,

I'll just say, you know, it's January now. It's 2017. We're living in a new world. Yeah. But, like, if you haven't caught up with it, like, why not watch the Gilmore Girls revival on Netflix? Don't worry about it. June and I have just started the Gilmore Girls, and we're powering through season one right now. Ooh, it's great. Loving it. It's really good. It's only going to get better, and then it's going to get real bad for a minute.

And then it's going to get real good. Kind of like that moment in Friday Night Lights when... When they killed... Oh, yeah. When they killed that guy. Yeah, I was like, wait a second. And then everybody was like, JK, JK, that didn't happen. Sorry, sorry, football, football, football, football. Well... Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose. Except we murdered someone, right? Are we murderers? And the tornado wipes it all away. She's having sex with a teacher, not cool. So...

You can sign up for the How to Get Made mailing list. You can find out about shows in your area because we'll have all sorts of cool mailing lists. A big thank you to everybody who makes this show possible. Marissa Zeitz, who helps us put this live show together. Everybody at Earwolf. Avril Halle for cutting together these amazing clips, watching a Highlander 2 documentary.

Not only did she sit through Highlander to the quickening, she sat through a documentary about Highlander to the quickening. So thank you to her. Thank you to Nate Kiley for doing this amazing research. And thank you to all these people here at Largo. We appreciate you. We thank you. And we'll see you next time.