Matinee Monday: My Stepmother Is an Alien LIVE! (w/ Whitney Cummings)
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BAS.com slash bonkers and use the code bonkers at checkout. Aliens are out there and all they want to do is fuck and listen to Jimmy Durante. We saw there is an alien so you know what that means.

They call it in the badass and he's on the line.

Hello people of Earth!

Welcome, welcome. We are here live at Largo at the Coronet, our L.A. home, one of the best theaters here in L.A., and we have a doozy of a movie for you tonight. Kim Basinger, Dan Aykroyd, the movie title really sums it all up for you. My stepmom is an alien, and she is. And the comedy will ensue. Tonight joining me, as always, is my co-host, Jason Manzuka!

Paul, how are you? Welcome, Jason. What's happening? Very exciting movie. Thrilling movie. Lovitz! Did you... I want to talk Lovitz. Oh. All night. I want to talk Lovitz all night long. I want to bring out our whole panel to talk about Lovitz, but I do want to say that I do feel like

someone just said, just do whatever you want. Just, your character, I feel like he went the first day and was like, what's my character's motivation? And they're like, you're horny. And he was like, God. I can't wait. You're horny and your girlfriend is 6'2". I have

Such a great thing to share with all of you here about the origin of this movie that I'm gonna, this is what I'm doing. I'm gonna set it up now and I'll pay it off later. - Oh shit. Oh shit. - It's so damn good. I've been thinking about it all day and I live with one of the people I do this show with and I didn't even tell her. Jason, I kept you in the dark all day. - Wow. And I love that in our home life you refer to me as a her.

Because I make you wear that wig. That's interestingly the only thing that separates me from being a woman is my hair. Everything else pretty much lines up. And it's a short wig. It's not a long wig. It's shorter than my own hair. Yeah.

It's like a boy's haircut. It's like a pixie cut. I'm Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby. It's a blonde pixie cut. I'm like a Michelle Williams just making us eggs and toast in the morning. But that's why I love you. Here tonight also, well, June Diane Rapio! Thank you!

Welcome. Welcome, June. Hi, Paul. How are you? Very well. Very well. June, you've never saw this movie. No. I loved it. I loved it. I can't wait to talk about it. I want to talk about white stockings or tights. Yeah. I think they're tights.

I got a lot to say. - I want to talk about short shorts that have like seven pleats on Willow. - By the way, great-- - I will only refer to Allison Hannigan as Willow for the entire show. - There's a great Buffy Easter egg in this movie. I mean, Seth Green and Willow. - Oh yeah. - It all began here. - Oh, I mean, it really did. - Willow and Oz! All right. - Back at last.

I gotta make you watch a Buffy one time. I'm good. We have a very special guest here tonight. Someone we've been wanting to have on the show for a very long time. She's an amazing, amazingly talented comedian, writer, performer, and director. She has a new movie coming out. Please welcome Whitney Cutler! Yes! Woo! Woo! Heavy hitters! Woo!

I didn't get the who let the dogs out that June got, but whatever. I'll grow on you. I don't have any notes. You don't need notes. We're here to... Whatever you remember is the most important thing. Except for whatever I wrote down in my notes.

- Well, I just would like to say that this is a sad day for me. - Uh-oh. - Oh boy. - Well, I tried to do this show before and you asked and I wanted to do it and you sent me the movie and it was like demonic bloody ladies. - By the way, we have not done that movie but I would like to see it. - I remember, yeah, it was like a scary movie or something, yeah.

something that, like, you know it was a shitty movie. I don't even need to see it. I know this is ridiculous and campy or whatever. And then we reschedule it and he sends me the name of the movie and he's like, you know, my stepbrother's an alien. I was like, I'm sorry. Is this the right podcast? Did you change your podcast to Great Movies? Is this called How Could This Not Get Made? Because it's brilliant and I wrote you back. Yeah, you wrote me back and you're like, look, I really like this movie. I don't think I can talk anything about it. And I said...

Don't worry. I was like, there's nothing I can say except just well done. Incessant accolades. So are you sure you want me to do this? Because I have nothing but glowing reviews. I grew up on this movie. I was raised by this movie. Not a lot of people know that you were raised by a VHS copy of this movie. It loved me dearly. Never abandoned me. Showed up for me.

Like no one else did. And then I was like, you know, but let me still, let me just like refresh it just to make sure it's as good as I thought. Right, because I said to you, you know what, when you watch it, it's kind of funny because maybe things will change. And I was like, which was a personal attack. Now he's just personally attacking my values in childhood. And then I watched it on a plane and I was like, oh no. Oh no.

I've been mistaken. My entire childhood was a ruse. And I actually thought first, because I went and just watched it on YouTube, and I was like, oh, this is like a kid recut the movie to make it suck. Wow. That's the level of denial that you're living in. It can't be bad. No. Someone must have been trying to ruin it. To make it bad, they remixed it. You thought it was like a mashup? Yeah, I thought.

A trickster of some kind. They would cut Inception to make it a comedy. Some sort of YouTube trickster. Yes! They were like, ooh, Whitney Cummings will someday look at this. Being hoodwinked. And so I must have some kind of Stockholm Syndrome with this movie because it is... Well, talk to June about Grease 2. Grease 2 holds up. It gets better with the...

I think you guys might have similar feelings about these movies. It's funny, though, because I think a lot of movies that we watch as kids, we're just excited that we're seeing movies. That's true. And we have not seen many of them. I remember, yeah, I mean, we talk about this all the time. A lot of these don't age well at all. No, but this movie doesn't even have, like, a plot.

I mean, it's yes. No, no, no. What? I mean, no, but I just was like, I was like, oh my God, I was a drunk child. I don't know what I was doing as a kid. It made me question everything. If you were a drunk child, it makes me question how good a job parenting this VHS copy of this movie did. I'm like, I don't feel bad now. I don't know what it was, but I had some weird emotional connection to this movie and it's been destroyed by this podcast. You're welcome. I'm so sorry.

That's the theme of our podcast, destroying things you fondly remember from childhood for seven years. I remember, though, watching this movie for the first time last night. You've never seen it? No, I'd never seen it. Neither had I. I hadn't seen it either. Neither had I. I'd heard of it. Can I ask you a question, then? Yeah. Did you think, it's called My Stepmother's an Alien, so it's through the point of view. Of course. I was like, I wrote down in my notes. What?

Whose movie is this? Why isn't Willow a bigger part of the movie? It's called My Stepmother is an Alien. Not my wife that I met 24 hours ago is an alien. Exactly. Not the stranger who... And not even just your stepmother is an alien. What? Yes. No, mine. Yeah. It's her movie. It's all...

It also, I think that's what the whole problem of the movie is. It kind of tries to bridge this gap between being a, is it an adult movie? Is this a movie about like a man who marries an alien? Or is it a family movie? It would seem like that. I was going to say, it would seem to be the movie about a teenage girl that I would bring kids to, except it's all about horny adults. Here's what I think happened. It's about a red hat. Don't. Of course. A red hat and white tights. Don't get me started. The movie is about a purse. Here's what I think happened. Oh, bad.

that the movie was originally written from Willow's point of view and the original title remained. And then I think they saw it and they had to recut it. Not YouTube recut it, but just like actually recut it. Professionally recut it because they realized it's a really fucking creepy story. Well, it's a horror movie story. Well, absolutely. But every time she's begging her dad to...

to find a woman and to fuck that woman. I wanted to die. The level of joy that Willow has upon realizing that the woman that his father met at a party, like a horny adult's party the night before where children were the caterers. By the way, I've got a lot to say about that. Finger food. Bye!

Point being, she was like, she stayed here overnight? Yeah! She's so happy that her dad got his dick wet. She's great. I'm sorry. The character's an alien. We don't know her vagina gets wet. We're not sure. It's true. It might just be battery acid.

- He's like, I don't know. - If it's not in the video-- - They gave it up 3,000 years ago, so it's been a while. - By the way, that adult fuck party where kids were the waiters, I wanna get into that, but how many women are obsessed with Lovitz at this party? Lovitz has multiple women like, you broke my heart. And he's like, Lovitz?

He drives the Rolls. Ladies love the Rolls. Can you also explain to me, what's his job that he's that dumb but has a Rolls Royce? I thought he was a chauffeur. No joke. The whole movie. I thought he was a chauffeur the whole movie. By the way, maybe he was.

He might have been. I don't think so, though. I think it was maybe his roles. It was definitely his roles. To me, he's a guy who spent all of his money on roles. Although he did have that nice house on the beach. I mean, a really nice house. A, what does he do? And B...

He then, at the end of the movie, spoiler alert for this piece of shit movie. No offense, Whitney. He is like, yeah, I'll go to the alien planet. No problem. No, no. No, with no tearful goodbye. No. Peace. Bye. He has no one. First, he's basically like, I'm in love with your wife. Yeah. She's in love with me. By the way, kisses her on his wedding day. Yes. He's a fucking dirtbag. Yeah.

And the movie is called My Stepmother is an Alien. Here's the thing, I was thinking... Are we going to write a movie right now? I was watching it. It's final draft opening so we can write a movie. The thing is like, I bet you could... Clippy's going to tell us, I bet you could write it better. It sounds like you're trying to rewrite the movie My Stepmother is an Alien. Do you want help with that? Thanks, Clippy. Clippy?

By the way, why have we not discussed that one of Willow's friends is Juliette Lewis for no reason at all? Juliette Lewis, no lines. No lines. It looks like the Juliette Lewis from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Yes. It looked like she just walked from one set. Yeah, I mean... It's the same actress. But that...

-But that look, like-- -That actress, Juliette Lewis, is the same Juliette Lewis. -She kind of looks like-- -It doesn't look like her. -She looks like-- -It's the same actress. -I will-- -Also the same Juliette Lewis that is in "Cape Fear" around that same time. -Is it the same Juliette Lewis-- -That's my favorite one. -From "Natural Born Killers"? -Different Juliette Lewis. -Oh.

But I mean, she had like a similar, like I mean, I feel like she had like a different look as a kid. Like she was like the cool kid or something. She had some moments. She made something out of nothing. I thought she was great. Choices. I was seeing choices. By the way, I wish the movie had been about those three girls. Not joking at all. I was like, they're so interesting to me and the adults are bananas like nonsense. Also, did you, back,

to the pervy child father relationship. Oh, yeah. They were about to kiss and someone's like, have you ever seen him kiss a woman? And she's like, not since 1983. Yeah.

When you were four? Yeah. And why is she keeping such solid track of this? Like, why is she... She journals. Yeah. I would understand a movie in which, like, a daughter would want her father to get back out there and find love. Why? Find someone else. I could see that in a movie. I don't know anyone who would know why. But why does she have to want him to get laid? That's the weird part. But no, to me,

I think the issue is, like, this is a daughter who arguably lost her mother at a very young age. - Very tragically. - And she's like, "Dad, get over it. Fuck somebody." - Yeah. - Like, it would be one thing if the mom, like, left and they're both like, "We're gonna find somebody else." Like, she seems like, "Are you ever gonna find somebody else?" Like, she's like-- - I feel like she's like, "Oh, get over it." - She's like, "Let's move on." - But you know what I felt?

I felt like the movie has no reason to happen. So every time something inappropriate or weird would happen, there'd be a studio note that would be like, how do we make, you know what, just make the daughter, you have to make the daughter be into it. Otherwise it's like child abuse and maybe incest. Oh, I think so.

It felt like a lot of studio notes. But to me, the better movie is that she doesn't want him dating anyone. She wants to sort of memorialize her mom and have the house be like a shrine to her mom. And so, of course, he thinks when this woman comes into his life that she's overreacting, saying, my stepmother's an alien. Only to find out, no, her stepmother is an alien. To me, that's the movie that makes sense. Well, by the way, I would argue the big...

strike against this movie is that it all happens within 24 hours. So much happens. That is when I think the studio notes come in because you see Dan Aykroyd like all of the lines like, I know this is crazy. I know this is totally insane. I know we shouldn't be, I know it's only 24 hours. She comes in, meets him at a party, they get married the next morning to a packed reception with a band. And then Willow has a date. I was like, has time.

And she has a date that night. That night, the reception, I guess, is over? The reception is over. It's prom night. It's their wedding night. They're just hanging out. And they put her in a wedding dress. And just moments before the last time we see Willow, she's like, my stepmother's an alien. She just sucked a battery. What? Oh. The rental period is over. Oh, shit. Guys, that reaction was inappropriate. Do not awe for the rental period. Get a fucking life.

What is wrong with you people? Also, just can we talk about Willow's dress? What event is she going to? I don't know. I think she was going to a dance and it was just a date. I want to know where they went on that date. I want to know what that was all about. But to me, again, I just want to bring up, like, she was so cool with Kim Basinger. Kim Basinger's putting her in the dress and she's like, what do you think? It's like, you just saw her drink a battery. She

She had to see her drink batteries like 10 times before it seemed weird. She drank so many batteries. She drank all the cars on the streets' batteries. They could not make this movie now with hybrids. That's true.

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That's linkedin.com slash valuable to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. This movie is so, it is so bizarre on every level. And this is the question I want to ask. I don't have the answer to it. What was she there for? I don't understand. Like, yeah, I do know this. Well, okay. So his, his, his, yes.

I'm so fascinated. You remember when they were in the lab? You remember when they were in the cardboard lab? It looked like a science project, a four-year-old science project. I mean, if this movie was made today, the special effects would be brilliant. Why? Because they're so bad that it has to be intentional. It wouldn't matter if they were great special effects. This movie would still be pathologically insane. Yes, correct, correct.

Although that snake coming out of her bag would be pretty. The eyeball snake? I hated that guy. Hey, hey, it had some zingers. Wasn't it a woman's? Back off. It wasn't. Oh, thank you. Back.

Alpo breath did get me. It was not Margo Martindale, but I was sure it was Margo Martindale. Wait, so I want to understand. Okay, so something about... Remember when the rain and all the stuff colluded at once to make the light stream shoot off the computer screen into the other planet's orbit or whatever? Into the other computer screen. Yes, yes, yes. Really good. And one computer screen is like...

That's not how that works. This is not a multi-screen workstation. By the way, one screen was like computer graphics. The other one was a picture of stars. I'm scientifically accurate. Whatever happens...

happened it went into a different stratosphere sure is that a thing nope a different Milky Way no no no I'm I'm I'm no he broke he went to a different galaxy or whatever it got so near the planet of hot women that

That the whole thing was if they only had 48 hours to figure out to reverse it or else all the gravity would drain from their planet. Wait, no, they are living in some sort of gravity problem. She says the gravity is like a problem, right? Yeah, gravity is always a problem. And then she's talking to like the old men in like... In the sky. The old men in the KKK outfits. Yeah.

They're like, the gravity's really getting to us. You only have... Yeah. I also could not... They need the beam to pierce through... Hang on. But to me, it was like, why just do it again? They didn't seemingly reverse anything. They didn't do anything different. It's like, this thing that almost wrecked our planet, do it again? I don't think it was wrecking the planet. I think it was good for the planet. Oh.

Didn't they want it to be done again? No, it wasn't good for the planet. What? Okay, one of you fucks can settle this. Who thinks they've got it? Tim, right? Fucking nailed it. Was that right? For the first lightning storm, he was like, we can never get the beam to another galaxy. What kind of beam?

It's like a communique. It's like they're trying to... Questron beam. Sure. And then John Lovett's jacket buttons interact with the thing. He increases the shorts the thing. Yeah, it shorts the thing so it shoots it to another galaxy. That creates a problem on the planet. I see why they thought this was funny to me. So they have to replicate that same thing to fix the problem. I don't know why it fixes it. That was the issue that I had.

But the thing that she needs to do with Dan Aykroyd is figure out how he did it. The problem is he doesn't know how he did it. I get that, but my issue still goes from why repeat it. It's like, my car was in an accident. We need to recreate the accident to fix the car wreck. Oh no, I've been shot. Shoot me again to fix it. That was my issue with it. I thought she was trying to undo it with her white pantyhose. Right. By the way, I'm going to say, because obviously John Lovett's very expensive jacket, he's

Why does he smell like fish? Why does he say that? That's improv. By the way, by the way, John, I don't know, funny man back then. Yes, sure. Funny man. Yes. Why is he so unfunny in this movie? Love you, John. Well, he's a...

I will fight you on La Cienega today, if you think, if you can really say to my face that that made you laugh. I am with you, because I think John Lovitz always is this great, he always can nail a thing. I think because this movie had no plot and his character was so underfunded, it was sort of like he's just running around. Well, he felt to me like he was in an all-adult movie.

And the juxtaposition of him and Willow being in a seat together was unsettling. He was essentially a leader to Larry. I can't believe no one called the police. I mean, he was just like, how did Willow get home from the party?

Dan Aykroyd is like, a lunatic has arrived. She's beautiful. I got to show her my setup at the Space Institute. And just abandons his daughter. By the way, she gets home and in bed and she's just there alone. I do want to say a couple things about that. I'm not a single father. You're not. You're not.

You guys are very reactive. That's good. Very emotional crowd. Careful. Careful. But it wouldn't seem like my first instinct when I'm getting laid for the first time would to be like, hey, you want to go check on my sleeping daughter? Like, hey, before we have sex, you want to go look at my daughter? And then when the lady says it's short...

She was like, it's so short. Then you'd go like, I need you to leave. But then they go into his bedroom and he doesn't close the door. So he's just, they're just going to the bone zone with Willow across the hall. I can't believe I'm about to defend him. But Willow does seem to want to know this is going to happen. Do you think? June. June. Do you think? No, we know she didn't.

I was going to say, do you think Willow woke up and heard, but we know she didn't because she's surprised in the morning. Forget it. I will also say every choice that Dan Aykroyd makes is okay with me because when Kim Basie Every choice. I'm going to tell you why. Every choice is okay with you? Yes, I'm going to tell you why.

because he is a man that watches a fucking stranger that no one knows come into a party, act insane, do backflips, and goes, oh, what are you, a wacky gram?

That doesn't exist. A wacky ground. And his first instinct is that she is one of these things that doesn't exist. You're insane too. So these are two insane people. So I feel like he's not grounded in any reality. Like he wasn't like... Well, but he's got that grounding element of Jimmy Durante's hat. I don't even... Guys, I can't even talk about that. I can. I can. You want to talk about Jimmy Durante's hat?

My question, do you ever watch movies now? First of all, I looked up some trivia. Did you know this was initially going to be Shelley Long? Yes, I did. Were you going to... I would... No, great to bring up. That would be amazing. Because I'm trying to picture Shelley Long doing all this. Crushing it. Crushing it. So funny. I've got to say, I thought Kim... No, I think Shelley Long's amazing, of course. But I think Kim Basinger did her job. I think you're right. Her job. I think you're right.

Did she need to, like, squeak? I feel like... Like, did she need to, like, come? They let her... I mean, you have to understand, she did not have any direction. I mean, no one did. I think that's what happened with Lovitz. It was a free-for-all out there.

I think you're probably right. And when you're left to improvise, I think for hours on end. They were also maybe arguing with Willow's real life parents about the content of the movie. I thought this was a child film where my daughter's the lead. Okay, so it's called My Stepmother is an Alien. My daughter's the main character and her third line is I'm wearing a bra. And Dan Aykroyd puts her up and down? And then Dan Aykroyd is like

- I didn't like that. I didn't like it. - He stares right at her tits. - And then she's like, it's an A. - I was like, what's happening right now? - A minus, was that a joke or is that a real size? She's like, A minus. - It's not a real size. - It's not a real size, I checked. - I do, as we talk about convincing. - It is a grade. - So that was a joke? - Yeah. - Okay, okay. - I'm gonna just play some of Kim doing her job at the party, as Junie said.

Are you Dr. Steve Mills? Yes. Will you tell me the composition of your radar beam or not? Which one? Now, you don't fool me. Your favorite color is red. Your favorite food is lasagna. And your favorite rocking is pink Fred. Actually, I prefer green. I'm allergic to all pasta. And my favorite rock is Rachmaninoff. Well, of course you'd say that. And I think it's Pink Floyd, not Pink Fred, right, Jessie? Pink Fred is their nickname. Would you hold this for me, please?

And she's smoking a can. That's the best. That man in the background. There is a great man with a beard staring at Dan Aykroyd. Get the camera.

Best extra award goes to that man. By the way, here's what's so weird about this movie. So she acts like an alien here. And then she goes outside to talk to her purse. At which point she speaks... Totally normal. Totally normal. Why? With all the nuances of a human. Yes. That's what's so interesting is she is so capable of having a normal conversation with the purse. With the purse.

But when she's talking to people, it's as if she's just... An alien? Like, not from, like, this planet? And they're in love. I think you just pitched us the movie. That's how they sold it. She's not a worm creature, is she? Well, that was my question. That's a great question. Are they worms when they go back? Yeah, because she says we...

But the guys aren't worms. They don't eat. The guys aren't worms. The elders aren't worms. So why would that? Are worms helpers in this world? Like they're talking dogs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the person is like, oh, you're a fully functional human now. So what was she previous? I hope she wasn't a worm. Well, no, because she says like, do you guys go on vacation? She goes, no, we go and do math.

What? You don't want her to be a worm? I don't want her to be a worm. What if she was? What would that do to you? Guys, she's a beautiful woman. I mean, it's just not something I want for her. Well, I mean, she's an alien, though. But she's a worm. But if she was a worm person, she might have, like the beautiful woman, she might have felt like she wasn't interested. Well, I have to say, so the elders, those three men, they show up as humans. Also, topple the patriarchy. Absolutely. Also, Oscar, so what? Which makes me think that...

They do have human form. Okay. As aliens. Right, because when they just be like three snakes. But when they have to hide, like in a purse, for example, that's when they can, you know, transform into worms or other weird creatures. I feel like the worms were more like the old guard that knew a bunch of shit that she didn't know and then also gave her dresses. How about this? How about this? How about this? They're seamstresses. Why when she reads a book does she put her arm in the book? Okay?

But when the elders refer to the book to tell her what marriage is, why doesn't the guy open the big book and fucking put his arm in it? Because that's an alien book. It's an alien book. Earth books you read with your arms. Alien books you read with your eyes. I'll buy it. But I'm wondering, who's a worm? Who's not a worm? What's up? Do they speak English? Why is the worm so big?

so jealous of her. And why do all the women look like Princess Stephanie when they come down to get John Lovitz? Do they? Are they doing that? Because they basically say in the beginning, didn't they, that they made Kim Basinger to look like the most beautiful human woman? Right. So as to, because that is the thing that all men can't resist. It's the most powerful. It's a stupid woman who eats cigarettes but is hot. Yes.

So she can't have looked like that on her home planet. Because they say that they're making her look like that. So that's what I want to know. Are they all worms? Tim, are they worms? My stepmother is a worm is actually a movie I could get by. Tim, are they worms?

I don't think that they're all worms. I think that there are different races on the planet. I think if I'm just going to do a gut check, I don't think they're all worms. You don't think they're all worms? Yeah. What percentage of the population of that planet is worm-based, and what is humanoid-based? I think we've thought through this more than the writers, the producers. Yeah. Oh, that is for sure true. We could spend way more time on it. What can fit in a bag? I don't know, like a worm? Got it, done. Oh.

Control-Alt-S. - Oh, but wait, but wait. Put an eye on the worm. Put an eye on the worm. I want the worm to be able to see. - It's like a submarine with an eyeball. - And clearly always shot from a position where a puppeteer could be like shooting up right from under camera. Like, he's just like, "Stay still, Kim. Stay still." Wait, there's another thing that was, well, there's so many things that are odd. So whenever she has a question, like he wants to kiss,

a video screen will appear and will kind of detail everything about kissing. But then when she asks about sex, well, maybe we should just watch it. This is a confusing one. Oh, God. This is the sex explanation. The tights, are you okay? The white tights are... What is sex? Huh?

Can I pause for one second? What? You heard what I said. This is the bathroom in his bedroom. He is max eight feet from her right now. She's constantly having full volume conversations with the worm in her purse.

That he could hear easily everywhere. But when you get a boner, your hearing does diminish a little. Yeah, that's true. By the way, he's in a children's bed in that room. That bed is a child's bed. He's sleeping in a trundle bed. No joke. Why? He's a grown man. Yes. And he's sleeping in what appears to be like...

A full-size bed in his teenage home. Here is, so this, we'll get into the sex explanation. Here we go. She's like, what is sex? And... Huh, what? You heard what I said. What is sex? Oh, well, give me a second. One second. Take a look at this. Sex. One. Gender. Two. Latin for six.

Three, an expensive store on Fifth Avenue. Hold. What? No, it's not. Sacks. So that's a joke. That's a joke, but it also shows that they have very bad research. Also, Latin for six. Does she know what Latin is? What's happening? Like worm. Fucking get to it. Well, this gets into, I mean, they, well, yeah, whoever's making these videos for her, they add too much stuff. Oh, yeah. Deleted. Deleted. What good

Oh, now, don't get excited. Just a second. One little second. Don't get excited. There it is. Can you pause for a second? Why does the worm look in the bag when it's like, oh, wait a second, wait a second, let me see what else I have in here? No, that's not how this works. That's not how this works. These videos are also not in the bag.

Guys, I just have a theory on this worm. All right? The worm is on the home world, and this is some sort of device, like a periscope-esque device. So the worm is a human, like, and just can kind of periscope through Earth to be in the bag. Tim, it's the worm part of the planet. It's Tim. I feel like...

I do feel like it could be like a, it's like a periscope on a submarine. There's another person on the planet like. Oh, like in the other planet. Yeah, like that's how she's. Operating it. Yeah, well, they do say that this character is like the expert on Earth. But it's not. No, the worm is an idiot. But I guess my question is, why wouldn't the worm herself just become Kim Basinger?

Celeste. Because then Kim Basinger wouldn't have anybody to talk to in these hilarious one-on-ones. There wouldn't be no exposition scenes. Yeah, I mean, we don't need to even watch the rest of the sex explanation. Well, but here's what's interesting about this scene is that Kim Basinger is so... She's so virginal in this and she seems so surprised and embarrassed by all of the sexual stuff. Because sex is not part of their...

Scenario. Here's my thing. Sex is not a part of their scenario, but they're not sexual creatures. They were. But to be embarrassed, you have to have a context for what sex is. Sure. Which she doesn't. Yep. What is she embarrassed by?

You'd be a real cog in the wheel on set of this movie. We gotta shut down production again, fucking June by the logic issue. Oh, shit. June's not wrong. The movie is called by stepmom as an alien. Logic does not bear out on this at all. But you're right about that.

And then because of that, that virginal quality, it makes the sex so creepy. Well, also, I was upset when he said, can I kiss you? And she goes, does it hurt? Yes. Yeah. I didn't like that one bit. If a girl says that, you're like, let's go to a clinic. Yeah. Are you OK? Something's wrong. What happened to you? He's like, no, it doesn't hurt. Not the way I do it. Yeah. Not the way I do it. And then he proceeds to kiss her neck for upwards of a minute and a half.

What's he doing? He nibbles the same spot for like a minute and a half. He just wetnecks her. Not interested. Can I tell you the taglines for this movie? Wetnecks? She's gorgeous. She's never been kissed. Needless to say, she's from another planet.

- Oh, it's needless to say. - Needless to say. - That a beautiful virgin is not on earth? - Yeah. - Okay. - She's ugly, she's never been kissed, she's from City of India. - You know her. - Here is the other one.

The other one is... What? What?

These are taglines for movies. Like, I'll be back and then she's gorgeous, she's never been kissed. Hey, hey, Gary, I'm going to need you to write up a bunch of pervy, horny taglines for the movie. Huh? Yeah, okay. I'll have them to you after lunch. The least offensive is man's closest encounter. Fine. Fine. Fine.

I mean, it's right around Close Encounters. I get it. Okay, fine. 1990 or 1988. So a little, yeah. I mean, like, 10 years. 12 years later, yeah.

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Can we talk about this?

Yeah, sure. Only for the rest of the show. I do have a confession to make. Oh, boy. That you jerked off?

Which I did bang one out to that scene. Can you imagine? I was on a plane. That would be very weird. So the scene where she comes out of the bathroom. Yes. Where the wind is blowing her. Do you have that? Oh yeah, I do. That is actually kind of amazing. It's great. I was like, okay. I get it. The music was excellent.

I mean, by the way, they made a trailer. Loved it. And by the way, just to put it in context for you Kim Basinger heads, this is after nine and a half weeks and No Mercy and Blind Date before Batman. How old is he? That I don't know. I had to Google it, then I had to do math and my brain is... I mean, I can find out. Somebody knows in the room how old was Kim Basinger when she made this movie. Tim, you fucking blew it, bro.

But I mean, but at this point, nine and a half weeks in blind date, those are big movies, or at least they seem to be. I think she was trying to make her comedy move. Okay. All right, so here we go. This is the sex scene. We can kind of talk over it as a couple. I love this song. Me too. And by the way, I mean, yeah, things that, yeah. Well, when she comes out, yeah. Dan Aykroyd's making the same face he makes in Ghostbusters and the ghost blows him. So, I mean. Tiny bed, tiny, tiny bed. Tiny bed.

Tiny bed. Tiny bed, giant man. Giant torso. There is no room for her in that bed. So can we stop for a second? Yeah, please. I'm not known for my elegant get-ups in the bedroom. You're not. I'm not. No. That's not my brand. Yep. Have you ever ripped a negligee open? No. It looks like it had to have been rigged. Oh, of course. Oh. You think that was an improv move?

She's like, can we do one more? I've got an idea. I was like, but is, can she open it? What I meant was the negligee. No, but, but is it, she's, is it that all women do that?

and you just rip your own... No, I've never seen that. I've never heard of that before. There's no buttons or zipper there. It's like she's ripping... So shouldn't he have known she was an alien right then and there? By her sheer strength of ripping the necklace day and a half. Also, like... It was such a clean cut. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was... And I just put her in a bra. By the way, she's practically... I mean, you're seeing a lot in that scene anyway. Just put her in a bra. I loved what she wore. I love the rips. Keep saying put her in a bra, you weirdo.

Just like put her in a bra. Stop saying it. Stop saying it right now. Put her in a bra. Get really specific. It's not a bra. Black Lacey bra. Just throw her in a bra. Can we get wardrobe over here with some bra options? We're going to put her in it. Put her

- Put her in a bra. - Put her in a bra. - I like when you said throw her in it. That was more violent. - Yeah, I'm just gonna chuck her in a bra. - First of all. - Just put her right in it. That's a t-shirt, put her in a bra. - Put her in a bra is the new get her done. - Put her in a bra. - Put her in a bra. - That's just a great thing to end sentences. And I told him to fuck up. - Put her in a bra. - $90 cable, put her in a bra.

Hey, use your blinker, asshole! Put her in a bra! I don't need four gelato shops on my block! Put her in a bra! Two-minute coffee shops in Sunset Junction! Put her in a bra! Guys, guys, guys, you're right to applaud. That was a home run. I can't wait for our Netflix comedy special, Put Her in a Bra.

Where does the butt start? Put her in a bra. Put her in a bra. P-U-T apostrophe R-E. Put her in a bra. P-U-T apostrophe E-R. A bra. I feel like it's B-R-A-H. Yeah, I think it's B-R-A-R. Put her in a bra. Hey, I'm just going door to door in the neighborhood saying, put her in a bra.

This is our super finger. Oh, guys, we're having fun. Is that a James Bond reference? Yeah. Oh, this sexy.

is so gross. And they kiss so much. And their kissing has less chemistry than Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock at the end of The Lake House. It has less chemistry than that. And there is easily 45 minutes of it. The majority of this movie is them kissing. Do you think that the director said make it awkward because you're an alien? No, I think Dan Aykroyd was like, we need more kissing. Okay.

By the way, why didn't they just cast Dan Aykroyd's wife? Because his wife is like that beautiful model. Well, she is. But she looks just like Kim Basinger and then they would have actually had some chemistry. Can you imagine the arguments that went on in his home? Oh, yeah. All he does is fuck Kim Basinger. In 24 hours, all he does is fuck Kim Basinger. Like five times. And act like it's the greatest thing that's ever happened. Oh, yeah. At the height of Kim Basinger. And why does his lip get stuck? Is that a thing?

happens to guys? Oh yeah, the pre-sex dry lip? Whitney, put her in a bra. Put her in a bra. It fucking works. You're welcome. It's so dismissive. Guys, start using it. Get it out there. Put her in a bra. Tweet it. Blog it. Hashtag it. Guys, graffiti. Put her in a bra. Put her in a bra.

It really does imply, Paul, that she'd have no agency over what she wants to wear. I like that you... The supposition is that you're angry that they put her in a negligee because just, goddammit, put her in a bra! But bras... To me, it feels like you're jumping through hoops to make her... You want her clearly to rip something off. But bras, you don't rip off. You have to unhook it. It would be harder to rip the button in the front.

in the front like that. What? No, what kind of bras are you wearing, Jude? Jude's got a little bra that just has a button that Paul pushes. What? I'm learning a lot about your undergarments from your husband's comments. We are. We are. You're also implying... You're also implying... Where are my ladies at? Where are my ladies at? Ladies! Ladies! Where are my ladies at?

You know you ladies got the front pushin' button. You know you ladies, you know when you wanna wear a necklache, but some guy's tryin' to put you in a bra. Buttin' puts a bra! I'm gonna put you in a bra!

Here's the deal. Put her in a shirt, let her rip open that shirt. - Yeah, rip the button. - That wasn't a shirt, that was a negligee. - I know, I know. - By the way, a great opportunity to use the snap button shirt. - Oh, but the most, like, look, I'm all for, like, you gotta shoehorn something in, but when he, like, talks about those buttons-- - Are we still talking about the sex scene? - No, the button-- - Shoehorning something in?

When he talks, when those buttons come up and he's like, ugh, these buttons. My brother gave me this. It's a snap button thing that looks like a regular button. Anyway, Russ, remember this, remember this, remember this, because we need to use, God forbid any buttons get closed. And it was just the fact that Lovitz had

two clothing items that had metal buttons. That's the whole connection. Metal buttons are not that rare that you need to justify like, how do you ever get a metal button in there? What is that business in the beginning? What is that lab? It's a SETI lab, which is a search for intelligent life lab, which is probably wrong to have that director go, there's nothing else out there. It's one of his first lines. I would argue that's why you're there in the beginning.

That guy is for sure a Trump appointee. Why is John Lovitz there, though? Lovitz is there because he's picking up his brother so that they can go to a singles night. And he's trying to get him out. While his daughter is at home alone playing basketball. They'd be out trying to pick up ladies. And it's raining where they are, but not where she is. But not where the basketball is. No.

It's a quick rainstorm. And also, Lovitz, when given a poncho, wears it as a jaunty scarf. He wears it like around his neck like a jaunty scarf. He's like, I'm getting wet. He's like, what smells like fish? Oh no, it's me. What? Do you think that they thought this was bad while they were making it?

Like, were the actors like, oh, this fucking scene. Or were they like... This is going great. I think they were going for it. Dan Aykroyd's like, how many times can I have sex with Kim Basinger? Yeah, I love this movie. It's great. I need another take. I need another take. But like, Levitz is a funny person. Like, you know when you're bombing. They're all funny people. Do you think that... Yes. Do you think... But I feel like Dan Aykroyd was wasted as a straight man in this movie. Well, let me just say this. Like, just to give you an idea. Like, do you...

This is the 1/25, January 25th, 1988 draft of the script. Credits, these are the writers. Jericho, one name. - That blew my mind when I saw that at the beginning. I was like, can you do that?

I'm going to get more into him in a second. Frank Coletti, Richard Benner, Susan Rice, Herschel Weingraud, Timothy Harris, Paul Rudnick, Deborah Frank, Carl Sauter, and Jonathan Reynolds. Ten writers on this. So that, to me, reeks of... Like, writers on writers on writers on writers. Only four out of the ten got credit. And none of them could come up with Putter in a Brug.

I mean, it would have been the hit movie of the year. But yeah, I mean, I feel like that's what it feels like to me. Like, ten writers, it's just like, and this, and then this, and they're all writing scenes independent of each other. But this means someone believed in this movie enough to go through ten writers. They were like, no, it's not the concept that's the problem, it's the writer that's the problem. This is a movie that they were like, we are making this, and we're going to put whatever it takes into getting this to the screen.

We are six writers away from this working. Get me Jericho. Kathy, get me Jericho. Who's Jericho? Get me Jericho. Put him in a bra! Jericho, we need you to fix this movie. What's that? You want to be Peyton Jetski's? Fuck yeah, bro. I will, again, I'm saving it for the end.

I got something that's gonna knock your sock out. About Jericho. Jericho. I don't, yeah. Jericho. All I'm gonna say is, again, is I tease it one more time, it will pay off. Well, alright, so... Why, when, because we're still looking at the sex scene here, why, when the purse gives her all the Debbie Does movies on betas?

It's an odd-sized beach, yeah. The format is weird. Why-- she then is able to just play them out of the purse. Why give her the cassettes? And-- She doesn't go downstairs and play them in her VCR. She does that with Jimmy Durante. I think she's trying to dissuade her from like-- she's like, here, watch this. And she's like, no, I need to see it on the screen. Like, she's distracting her. All right. And then she's like, Debbie does Dallas. Debbie does da-da-da, busy girl.

If she doesn't know about sex, how does she know that she's busy? And why is she slut-shaming Debbie? Debbie wanted to go to Dizzle Dore. She was like, busy girl. Like, how dare you?

They also, when they show the sex montage to her, the aliens, they just throw in a lot of random shit. Well, same with the kissing one as well. The animals and slapping. The kissing, that I thought was very funny. That was the scene that I laughed at. I had a laugh. When she's kissing him, his face, she's watching the... Watching the video and recreating whatever she sees. Yeah. That was funny to me.

I agree. Here's my thing. I know why it's funny, but then it hurts me when he's like, let's get married. Oh, of course. Do you know what I mean? Of course. You should be in a home with my child every day. Oh, yeah. Hey, before we fuck, you want to go check out my daughter in her bedroom? I have recently, vis-a-vis my daughter, put her in a bra. Still works. But Dan Aykroyd is... Dan Aykroyd's... He's so...

because it's like when she finally comes out as an alien, he's like, did you ever even like me? You met her 12 hours ago. You don't even have this much time to be this invested. His daughter should be taken away from him. At the end of this movie, Willow should be put in an orphanage because her life would be immeasurably better. I want to talk about Jimmy Durante, but I also want to talk to the audience here too because we're at that point. Well, great news, Paul. Jimmy Durante is in the audience.

Can I ask you while you're picking somebody? Do you think there was a scene that was cut of him and her dancing to Jimmy Durante together? Before they did at the end? Because it was very weird to me that they just knew what they were doing. I think that's the scene we see of her watching the Jimmy Durante tape is the precursor to the ending scene. But then they're just dancing to KKK guys in the sky.

I also have an issue about that Jimmy Durante hat. If it was a collector's item, why leave it out just on the hat? By the way, why is there like a 30s aviator hat also on that? The one that she went to the wall with. Why do I feel like those are all Dan Aykroyd's personal hats?

I was like, guys, don't worry. I've got my hat truck coming in from home. I literally thought, I think I even said it to Eugene. I was like, he improvised that Jimmy Durante line. It's so bizarre. Like, what? Why would you say Jimmy Durante? And they're like, oh, no, no. That's a major plot point. Like, I thought that was like, oh, yeah, Dan Aykroyd said... It's the same thing we had in what did we watch recently where, like, the...

girl in the 80s was listening to 50s music. It's the same thing here where I'm like, oh, we're weirdly fetishizing a 30s character for the... It doesn't matter. Who cares? Put her in a bra. Put her in a

I feel like you're dropping the R at the end. Your name, your best rendition of Putter in a Bra, and your question. My name's Rob. Putter in a bra. Maybe what we should do instead of having people do it, should ask their question and end it with Putter in a bra. But you don't have to do that. Here we go. I made sure I wore my shirt then.

Oh, nice. Very nice. My last note actually is I hate Jimmy Durante. But you shouldn't blame Dan Aykroyd and everything for being so into this girl so fast because one of Willow's lines is, my mom, I mean my first mom. Yeah, she's insane too. She's insane too. I want to know how did her mom die?

do we know that she died now i'm feeling like it's about you i died of embarrassment uh just the general family dynamic does anybody here believe that the mother faked her death to get away from the father and the daughter she's like i'm in a house full of crazies i gotta get out of here all right your name she was murdered by john lovett's character

Your name and make sure you end with our catchphrase. Okay, and here you go. My name is Jen and I actually have a theory about the daughter-father relationship. I think this may be a prequel to Contact and the whole SETI thing is really Allison Hannigan and then Dan Aykroyd is going to die, you know, and then she goes nuts. She just goes crazy. Put her in a

I wish I was more familiar with contact to really navigate. It's Jodie Foster, yeah. That's the Carl Sagan book, right? Yeah. I would say Interstellar. Carl Sagan was mentioned in the movie. Well, that's a connection right there. Are we just doing connections? Misconnections.

Here we go. Stand up here. All right. Your name, your question. Here we go. David, I noticed with the bag, the first few things hit right on and then it got more obscure, like with the animals kissing and stuff. Did anybody else get the feeling that this is where Google got their search from? Because as you get further along, it's more and more obscure. So they've invented Google on this movie. Yeah. Which leads me to my next question. Hey, Nong Man.

There you go. And you gotta end it with the thing. Put her in a bra. Thank you. Fair enough. Guys.

So far, these are terrible questions. I'm still thinking about... You can't make heads or tails. But, like, get it to fucking get it. I know, I'm still... You're making the people listening at home... People at home are so mad at you right now. People on the boards right now being like, the audience sucks. No, it's literally put him in a bra 400 times.

All right, here we go. Hi, I'm Brandon. So the thing that I found about this movie, it's basically a short con. She shows up with this purpose and then executes it very quickly. But what happens is she's drawn in by these carnal pleasures. She's like, holy shit, fucking is great. I love eating food. I love doing, I love sandwiches. I love Jimmy Durante. And I'm worried that she's going to blow herself out. Like what happens over two weeks? She's now stuck here on this planet with us. I'm sorry, you forgot sneezing.

Sorry about sneezing. Which Space Nun loves. Space Nun loves to sneeze, which somehow he gets sneezing. I'm not exactly sure if it's a ray or whatever the case may be. But like, what happens to Kim Basinger after two weeks with Dan fucking Ackroyd and this kid?

By the way, that's a great point. Yeah, she's going to burn out on Earth real quick. Oh, well, I mean, like, listen, this is, I mean, even if she wasn't an alien, they're moving very quick. This relationship cannot last. It's not sustainable. And do you think Dan Aykroyd is really, where is Dan Aykroyd falling on the sex chart? What do you mean? What do you mean by that?

Do you guys have a sex chart? What's going on? His fucking was so savage that she left her planet. That's what I'm saying. But to her? Or if we were to put it on a level against all of humanity? She's never had sex. Right? So like...

Which, by the way, I think she kind of alluded to that. Dan Aykroyd knows she's like a virgin, right? Yeah, because he's like, Mom would be so proud, he says, or whatever. Right? Doesn't he say that? I think you made that up. I think that's true. No, he says, you're a virgin? Mom would be so proud. Jason, that never happened. Time out. Help me out, nerds. Am I right? Mom would be so proud.

- Who's mom? - Who is mom? - And why would she be proud? - And by the way, and why wasn't she at the wedding the next day? - Like ring, ring, ring, hi mom. I'm about to fuck a virgin. - No, I think he must have been saying her mom would be so proud. - No, I think the point is-- - Because she's a virgin. - No, no. I think the point is be so proud of her.

June is unhappy. I think it's your mom would be so proud. My mom would be so proud of fucking a woman who's not two bit floozy. His mom is disgusting. No, he's saying mom would be so proud. Like mom would be so proud of you. Your mom? June, are you saying this is maybe a bit? Is he doing a bit here? I'm Dan Aykroyd. You're Dan Aykroyd? What? And I'm saying to her, oh, you're a virgin? Mom would be so proud.

No. I don't think so. It's not. It's not. That she's fucking a stranger? No, that she's been a virgin for this long. That she waited until now? Yes. Mom would be so proud. After meeting this guy? No, but she's 30. I mean, mom would be so proud she's waited this long. No. No. I don't think so, Jim. Mom would be so proud you're about to fuck this torso of a tiny twin man. Mom would be so proud you waited. You waited.

I mean, he has the body of a scallop. Like, I'm sorry, I know I'm not allowed to do this.

to say this, but she's so hilariously out of his... It's absurd. It's such a male gaze. I couldn't tell. I couldn't figure out is this movie more sexist towards women or men? Because it makes the men look like morons. You guys will... I think nobody comes out looking like a rogue. Nobody's looking good. If you meet a girl who's a 10, she can eat trash in front of your child. The first thing she does to the kid is hold my hat and

and completely trusting her dad. But that's okay because it's like a horny adult 80s party where kids are the cater waiters while their parents try and fuck each other. But I do think this movie is a fantasy for men because the idea of it is that she is a 10 and she is attracted to Dan Aykroyd in it and the only way that that's possible in any world is if she's an alien. But she's also...

But without... He doesn't know she's an alien. She's not attracted. For all... She just comes off mentally ill. Yeah. Right? I don't think she's attracted to him. I think she's, like, doing a mission to get information. That's what I... That's why it's not a fantasy. It's not a fantasy if it's like, oh, maybe you'll be so smart one day some hot girl will want to fuck you to steal...

It's not like she lights him for his brain. She's like, no, no, I need to betray you. She comes to him because he thinks he's a liar and that she has to fuck him to get the secrets out of him. We've all done that. No, here's the thing. We have all been there, but she enjoys

Probably more than any woman ever has because he has nothing to compare it to. She enjoyed it because Paul didn't put some shitty bra on her. But I mean, like, to quote Dan Aykroyd in the movie, if you want my secrets, you'll eat my sandwich. That's a t-shirt. By the way, that's the best t-shirt. Tweet it. All right, here we go.

All right. You already touched on my biggest problem with the movie, which is leaving the door open while they fuck. Still open the next morning. But I want to talk about the Carl Sagan call, which totaled Kent Brockman from The Simpsons. Can we talk about the guy who received the call's wife in the bed? I know. That's with her. She had like a bonnet.

a bump it in her hair. I was like fascinated by their relationship. I wrote down, want to see more of this. Put her in a bra, right? Real weird tonight. Real weird.

Their relationship was fascinating, though, because at the end of it, they shared a lovely kiss. But wait, so if you're over here, if you're your husband, Paul, and I'm you, and the phone rings and it's the mic, and you're sleeping, do you reach over to him to answer the phone while you're asleep? Well, I think he's a heavy sleeper. My big question for her is why is she stroking a tendril, a gray tendril, for the entirety of that conversation?

I'm upset by all of it. I found this scene erotically charged. I feel like the costume designer was David Copperfield. More like David Copperfield. Nailed it. Like, she's in silk. She's got, like, some crazy... It's just, it's not... I've never seen a woman dressed like that for bed. No, because no one has. But she's dressed for bed for him.

Like that. A man with a tiny thing. It could have been solved with one change. He also seems unfazed by having been telekinetically moved across the room, thrown through the air, plunged through his car roof. The rest of the movie is like,

Totally normal dude. No, no. You said something transformational happened to you. He should never sleep again. No one in this movie does anything near right. Like he should have called the authorities. Something should have happened there. He did deliver an amazing line at the end. What? Which was...

Is that pocketbook dead? Yes. That actually was a great zinger. I thought he was terrific, actually. He was great. Was he English or just rich? Rich. But speaking of, she said she was from the Netherlands. She didn't have an accent and no one questioned it. No, she actually actively has a southern accent in the movie. That's right.

Alright, here we go. Well, the basic simple element goes to the whole splashing the water in the mirror that we always talk about, but how come when people take phone calls... Wait, we always talk about it? We do talk about the idea that it never happens in real life. You never go to a sink and yeah. I'm kidding. Why when people take phone calls at night do they suddenly realize, oh, I want to talk to this person. Let me put on my glasses. Put her in a bra. Put her in a bra. Alright.

That's amazing. All right, here we go. Your name and your question. Alyssa. My question is, Dan Aykroyd has devoted his life to studying aliens, right? Like, his whole... The actor Dan Aykroyd. By the way, I will say... It was in Coneheads. I'm not kidding. The actor Dan Aykroyd is obsessed with aliens. What? True story. You're only bringing this up now?

I will argue that's why the first five minutes of this movie are so convoluted because I feel like Dan Aykroyd's like, we gotta make this more real. We gotta do this. Because it is like, it's so jargonful and if you're at your work right now, obviously you're in a theater, but if you're listening to this...

Google Dan Aykroyd Crystal Skull Vodka. It's a seven-minute ad where he talks about the Mayans and aliens and how this is within the last five years. And also, if you're at work right now, just Google cake farts. Okay. What? Google cake farts and see what happens. See if it'll pass your firewall. Let's just see. Okay. Okay.

My question is, why was this whole, like, honey trap thing even fucking necessary? Like, if an alien came to Earth... Great question. I was like, hey, this fucked us up. We really need your help. Can you do this again? He would be like, my life is validated. Like, this exists. Or just, like, take him against his will. I mean, you're an alien. They don't even need to. They don't even need to. This is what he's been dreaming of his entire life. Like, just go to him. Don't...

Present yourself as an alien. He'll be psyched. That's your in. That's your opener. What's up, motherfucker? I'm an alien. You're welcome. Guess what? He'd be stoked to do it again. Yeah. Really good point. Also... Put her in a bra. I like how defeated that put her in a bra was. You got one over there.

Do you really feel like you got something good? Is someone's question going to be about the fact that her wedding gown had a heart on the back of it? Her outfits were pretty stellar in this movie. I'm just waiting for someone to bring this up. Again, where did she get that? I guess she put it in her purse. Sorry. And why did he have a suit, a powder blue? Is that a guy...

Is that cool or is that... By the way, everyone was able to get it together. They had sex. They had like 60 people at their wedding. No family. Before email and cell phones, between 2 in the morning and 10, everyone was not only able to come fully dressed to hire a band, do a whole thing. That was pretty good teamwork. And I feel like it was a Tuesday morning at 10 a.m. Yeah.

Well, no, it's her homecoming, because it was homecoming. Sadie Hawkins, yeah. I will say, the couple that had the most sexual energy in this movie is Willow and Oz. Well, let's play that scene. Pete!

that door like he was going to fuck her on the sidewalk. He is. He has more testosterone in his tiny body than everybody else in this movie. Yeah, let's just play it because it's a great little scene here. What is that? She looks, I mean. She's in a wedding dress, right? I mean, isn't it or no? No, it's not a wedding dress, Paul. It's him, quick, dad!

I mean... I'm coming! Here it is! I've got it here! Rush, rush, rush, rush. This is the day of their wedding. And why is Isis Basinger in a tutu? My God, you look beautiful. Thanks, Dad. I hope he likes me. I hope you like him. Feminist. Top of the Basinger. Hi, I'm Fred. Seth Green comes in.

Thank you. I'm Steve, Jesse's dad. Mrs. Mills. Nice to meet you. Mouth jewelry. He has braces. Right, my braces. My wife's from Holland, so they... Sure. Oh, you were flat. It's great. So cute. The audience is loving this movie. Have a great time. So he's safe with me, sir. That kid looks tricky to me.

with his mouth jewelry. They have sex, right? They for sure have sex, right? Look, she learns by watching him, right? She learns by watching her dad. Everything. No. Paul. Paul, what's... What is going on, Paul? Are you okay? I don't know.

Wow. Things are not good. Oh, my gosh. All right, let's go to Tim. Tim has a question, and I feel like Tim has been a light here on the research end of it. Tim, you'll kind of bring us home on our final question here. Go for it. First, I wanted to-- I looked it up. She's 35. You're basically 35? Oh. I spent the whole-- OK. The whole movie, I was like, she's like 23, and she looks unbelievable.

So are you okay? I gotta get out of here. This whole show has fucked up my childhood and now my adulthood. But it has given you put her in a bra. Let's be honest. And I now know that June wears bras with snaps in the front. So she...

learns from osmosis. She like puts her hand on the computer and absorbs all the information it has. And she puts her arm in the book and absorbs all the information that it has. The whole thing is she wants to figure out what Dan Aykroyd knows and she's had extensive physical contact with him. Why isn't she absorbing the information? Why isn't her vagina sucking the secrets? Put her in a bra. Bring it home like I knew he would. Dumb assholes.

That's a G right there. Well, obviously we had an opinion about this movie, but there are people out there that had a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinions.

Second grade, second chance, second marriage, second dance, second base, second place, second helping's on my plate. We've got second opinions. We defy the critics, regulars and critics. We've got second opinions. Your argument won't get far when we give it five stars. We've got second opinions. It was amazing, amazing. I'm going to give you guys this.

Amazing. Mario, Super Mario, Matt, thank you so much. Give it up for them. That was awesome. Awesome. Holy shit. Really, anything to show on a high note. If I get married, do I have to do shit like that? Yes. Yes, you do. I'm doing it, sweetie. Do I have to choreograph performances for free? Yes, I do. Oh, my God.

I pulled a few of these because they're all pretty good. I'm going to start with one from Jerry A. Wapula. Just because it's interestingly written. This movie is a really, really great comedy. It's about aliens from outer space. The aliens are really, really funny. The actors and actresses are really great people. It is one of the great movies to buy. It is funny.

People are beautiful. The themes are really great. It is one of the best movies to buy. Again, he's like... It is full of brilliant, period, original, dot, dot, dot, good, dot, dot, dot, ideas. It is full of good themes. It is like no other movie. Go ahead and buy it. A work of true genius. It is like no other movie.

It is a comedy. Really great actors and actresses. Brilliant dot dot dot original dot dot dot themes. One of my favorite movies of all time. Five stars. Obviously written by an alien there. It was written by the purse. Written by Jericho.

This is from LM. This is a really fun movie. Maybe not for younger children. Not because of the adult sexual themes, but they wouldn't understand many of the references. Still, you never know what goes into their minds and stays there. So I'd be careful. Any kid 11 or older, though, is fine. Five stars. I don't have children, but is 11... Seems that 11's a little low on the spectrum. This is another weird one.

I first bought the DVD for my mother for Christmas. Why are you doing this in a voice? Why does this one have a voice? I don't know. Because anyone who buys a DVD is a serial killer. And why is the voice Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs? I put her in a bra. Um,

I first bought the DVD for my mother for Christmas. She let me borrow it. I'm glad that I finally watched it. It's truly a great movie. It's a funny movie. It is very entertaining. I suggest renting it or buying it. Five stars. Those are the two ways you're going to see it, so...

And they all have this theme from Comics 34X. Overall, this movie is pretty good. If you don't care for the story, at least you get to see Kim and the other chicks in the movie. If you've never seen the movie... The other chicks? You mean the dogs? All the Princess Stephanie's, I assume. Yeah, right. If you've never seen the movie, just buy it. It's about the same as renting it a couple of times and you'll be able to keep it.

- So thank you for introducing us to the concept of buying a movie. - It's so weird that everyone is making you buy this movie. And then the final one is from Anthony, and he goes, "This movie's great. "The only reason I bought it was to hear the song "at the end of the movie. "I can't find that song anywhere. "Five stars."

That was it. You know what? I want to listen to that song before bed. I should watch the movie. I should start the movie now. Don't want to listen to my favorite song. The one where she slam dunks? Oh, yeah, that was pretty good. All right, let's talk about Jericho. Paul, if you will, please blow our minds. Jericho has only one other writing credit, a film called Matinee.

A film that he lost arbitration on. The John Goodman movie? I don't know. Maybe. Okay, yes. A film that he lost an arbitration on and only received shared story credit. He was so angry about it that he tried to have his name in the credits replaced with the pseudonym F.U.C.K.

- I love this guy. - The guilt said no. Now, there's a very long article. - I find that fuck is way less offensive than Jericho. - Fuck. Written by fuck.

So, this is an article from the LA... What if he legally changed his name to Fuck? Wouldn't they be honor-bound or contractually obligated, rather, to list his name under his credit as Fuck? Yeah, that would go down to the courthouse. Like, come on, Jericho, follow through, bro.

I'll put it out. All right. So this is an article that appeared in the L.A. Times in 1989. The interviewer who goes to interview him can't get him on the phone. And he he wants to meet him at a coffee shop because he, quote, lives in a bad area. So they meet and he goes, my original script was an allegory about child abuse.

I wanted to reach kids in a way that wouldn't make the story just a disease of the week type of movie. And I wanted to make it easier for kids to grasp the child abuse angle. Why? Wait, this movie? Yes. Was it not a comedy at that time? I guess not. Is it a comedy now? So, this is where he was inspired by this movie.

Jericho moved to Los Angeles where he was a street person, crashing at flop houses and sleeping in parks. He was befriended by a young black kid who turned up one day badly beaten. The youngster said his father had hurt him but told Jericho he couldn't fight back because his father was an alien.

Intrigued, Jericho followed him to a supermarket parking lot where the boy hopped into an abandoned car. Didn't have any wheels and its windows were spray painted black. I rushed up and started kicking the car when the door opened and it was an alien. It wasn't a man. It wasn't a person. It looked so strange I couldn't even describe it. I just froze.

The next thing I knew, this huge hand leaped out and dug into my stomach, grabbing a hold of my spine. The pain was so intense, I collapsed to the ground. The alien creature stood over me and said, very gently, "Sorry, blackjack." Then the car started to shimmer very brightly, and I blacked out from the pain. When I came to, the car and any traces of it was gone.

- Then, then, not long after, Jericho had a chance meeting with Orson Welles. - What? - I cornered him walking into Ma Maison, and he told me, "My boy, the War of the Worlds was just a dress rehearsal, and this is what inspired Jericho to pitch a story about a child's nightmarish vision that his stepmother is an evil alien."

Wow. Was this parking lot the Ralphs on Sunset? That, I gotta say, that delivered. Right? I mean, this man put a bra on it. Yeah. Yeah, so that, this movie was inspired by a man who was... No, this is a, like, this is inspired by a true story. LAUGHTER

"Wow! This is some real nonsense." And I didn't-- -Sariko, I'm assuming, is just some drugged-up maniac who's like,

Jericho is not well. So Jericho did the first pass. Yes. Not the last pass. Right. They go on to say that... They gave this man money after he told that story. They gave him a check. In 1981, Paramount hired him to write a script. He delivered it to the studio and they saw it having more potential as a comedy. Um...

Or he turned it in and they thought it was a comedy. He did not intend it. Jericho recently saw the film at the Fairfax Theater. His reaction? Hollywood is a doomed planet. Watching the film is like seeing someone you love. I get it now. He thinks Hollywood is a planet. So the guy in the car was just from out of town. Thus making him an alien.

Sorry, blackjack. Oh, man. What happened to the kid who was bruised? No trace of that car. From the rock and roll Ralph's parking lot. Wow. No, I mean... I will say this.

Everybody is just doing the best they can. Is that the best someone can do? In the movie. I've got to give it up. I will give it up for Willow, who in this movie I thought was fantastic.

I do believe that it was probably recut and a lot of her stuff was out, right? I don't know. There's so much stuff in there. It's not like it's a short movie. Like the scenes all seem to be in order. I just don't know why. I was surprised at the end during the montage where Celeste realizes she does have humanity and wants to stay that in her love montage of all like the human feelings she has that love it's popped up.

In the midst of all of that. The one who kissed her on her wedding day. Willow almost gets hit by a car. Flies through it. She like Kitty Pryde style phases through the car. The driver unfazed by it all. The driver arguably sees something that is truly unprecedented. And is like, I didn't see her. But did you see her phase through your car? Yeah.

I also want to... I thought Lockjaw was going to appear

Nerds. I was also, there was one part of the movie that I thought was weird too, when you mentioned when she does, when Kim Basinger lets Alison Hannigan dunk the basketball at the end. Like she levitates her up to dunk the basket. Then within seconds, they're fucking so hard that fireworks are going off in their bedroom. Like Alison Hannigan simply just turns her back.

And then they have reached that point of pure climax seconds later. Well, here's the thing. The aliens' whole plan is basically sexual manipulation and prank phone calls. That's what they're up to. That's the best they've got, is impersonating people on the phone. And what exactly is Lovett's going to do back there?

He's going to tell them all about sex. No, he's going to fuck them. Yeah, that's what I mean. He's going to fuck the aliens. And then also tell them about Earth, too, right? It wasn't going to tell them about Earth? Yeah, but about the sex part of it. Can I say one thing? No. Do you remember the scene where she's bringing out all the food? Of course. She makes the entire menu. That should have been funny. Do you know what I mean?

Like, I was like, this, I get why this is funny. Why aren't I laughing? If Shelley Long had done it, I think it would have been. You're right. I think, and I believe Kim Basinger had been doing a fantastic job, but if Shelley Long had been in this movie, I think I would have liked this movie a lot more. Well, yeah. And she would be totally different, too. Because I think that...

it would have been more, she would have been more of a funny, like it would have been consistently funny where I think Kim Basinger is just like odd. Like she's odd and sexy. Yeah, where like I think it would be, I don't know. Yeah, I think Shelley Long, did she do Hello Again instead of this? That was- This might have been the dark years. The years where she went, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She went offline for a couple years. RIP. Yeah, yeah. Her and Jericho went out for a sojourn. I feel like... These are the Jericho years, for sure. We've all had our Jericho days. Was this pre- or post-True Beverly Hills? I don't remember. I think this must have been pre. Pre, okay. Yeah.

I think you should start having on this podcast, like you should have Shelley Long here. Well, you know, we do have a guy, Blake J. Harris, who does interviews with a lot of people that are involved in these movies. Or people who didn't do it. Oh, that would actually be interesting too. That's what I'm saying. If Shelley Long was like, well, I would have done this. Right? Shelley Long's like, I didn't watch that piece. Ladies and gentlemen, Shelley Long. Hi! Put her in a bra. Well, I think we've set up... It feels great to say.

Whitney, what can we tell people to do with you? What do you have coming up? You must stop. What is going on? She is my friend. You must stop. Sorry, sorry. It came out weird. Anything but putting in a problem. What do you have coming up? I don't care about things like that. Nothing. Nothing. That's fine. That's it to this podcast.

All right, great. June, what do you want to plug? The third season of Grace and Frankie is out on Netflix. Plug that. I would like to plug that also. Thank you, Whitney. Jason? Jason?

I don't really have anything to plug. Okay, great. Well, you can follow us on How Did This Get Made on Facebook and on Twitter, H-D-T-G-M. Listen to Blake Harris' origin stories. And if you have something that you might have missed from this episode, you can call me at 619-P-A-U-L-A-S-K. 619-Paul-Ass. Is that true? Yes, on our mini episode. We get into it with a whole bunch of... And if you've got questions about Paul's butt, you can call me at 687-Paul-Ass. Okay.

A big thank you to Nate Kiley for finding that Jericho article. A big thank you to April Halle for pulling all those amazing clips. July up in the booth. Everybody here at Largo, thank you so much for coming. We'll see you next week on our mini-episode to talk more about my stepmother as an alien. Good night!

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