Matinee Monday: Ninja III: The Domination
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Now it's time for

Hello, people of Earth. It is I, Tall John Shearer, and welcome to How Did This Get Made? We are still in our quarantine edition, and we are so excited to be here with you tonight.

talking about Ninja 3, the domination. The third in the series.

in the Ninja series that has no relation to the previous two. If you've not seen the movie, I recommend you stop what you're doing right now and watch it immediately. But if you need a little cliff notes, I'll tell you this. A world-famous ninja, or deadly ninja, I should say, goes on a murderous rampage and then transfers his spirit into the body of a

of a telephone worker who then goes out to avenge all the people that killed him. Anyway, we got a lot to unpack and we're going to do it with my two amazing co-hosts. Please welcome Mr. Jason Manzoukas. How are you, Jason? Wow, Paul, I'm not going to lie. This was pretty wild. This was some next level stuff.

This was basically like watching a ninja movie, Flashdance, and The Exorcist all at the same time. And I have to report, I am here for all of it.

I 100% agree with you. When I saw the Canon group logo appear on screen, I was like, oh, hello, old friend. I can't wait for whatever you've cooked up because it's going to be so unique. It's so true. I wrote it down, Canon exclamation point in my notes. Oh, I'm so excited. And I want to now introduce my other co-host, Alex.

Please welcome June Diane Raphael. How are you, June? I'm doing okay, Paul. I really am. I'm doing okay. How are you? I'm doing fine. Thank you for asking. You know, you said something that I thought was really telling in the middle of this film. You turned to me and said, I like this movie.

I, Jason, I'm so happy to see you, by the way. I see Paul every day, but I'm just so happy to see you over this, not to break the fourth wall, but we are on a Zoom call all looking at each other. Although, Paul, your your eyeline has been really weird. You're staring straight ahead. I'm talking into I'm talking into my microphone. Oh, I see. OK, smart. Yeah.

I was so nervous when I saw the opening titles. And like you, Jason, I was here for all of it. The insanity, the hair. Yes. The carpeted gyms. The neon light in her apartment. Yes.

I could spend roughly five hours on her apartment alone. By the way, let's start doing episodes of this bonus episodes of this podcast where we just go through. Honestly, Jason, I want to go frame by frame. Why was it? I could talk for an hour simply about the gigantic vent spinning vent that is meant to be outdoors. That is a top fridge. Oh,

I mean, here's my question. Here's my question. Yeah. OK, that space, we cannot call it a living quarters. It was fashioned to be a I thought the woman who were first introduced to you. I mean, I know we're jumping all over the place was her roommate, but I don't think it was. I think she was the only person living there.

Yeah. I mean, my question is like, what is the, what is the use of that space supposed to be? Is that a commercial space? Is that a boiler room? I believe she lives in like a discarded airplane hangar.

It's so large. She is living in such a large place. And June pointed out something to me that I could never take my eyes off of once I saw it, which was in her bathroom, across from her shower, there was a demented, like half-mutated baby coming out of a bloody crib. Really? Yeah.

Yes, like a doll. Is there any way we could pull that up to look at it all together, Paul? I mean, I feel like the people at home won't get a chance to see it. I just need to see it again. There was this not since...

Look who's talking to when we were or whatever the look who's talking was that we became obsessed with all the set decoration, the basket on the wall. Well, Action Jackson, too. Not since then have I been so consumed with. Oh, what did they do? What? There is so much neon. It was like, really? I mean, when they say they were like.

Do flash dance times 10. Yeah. You know, because it felt like that industrial space. There's school lockers. It's like it basically feels like a big open loft space. By the way, do I just want to let you guys know that this actress who is the star of this film was the star of breaking and breaking, too. Oh, yes. So they definitely knew that she was going to come in and do this. Like, I'm correct.

Yeah, she's going to come correct and they know they have to give her a little bit of dancing time. Oh my God, there it is. Okay, now what am I looking at here? You're looking at a demented baby. I've just pulled up the demented baby coming out of a crib. Now as I've paused it, it's a demented baby coming out of a chair, it looks like, and it's underneath a tuba next to a mini couch that looks like it's for a five-year-old. And a tiny radiator. Do you know?

You know how big a radiator would have to be to fill the space that she lives in?

And the crazy thing about this space is there's, again, we're staring at cement blocks. It's all different shades. It's mainly different shades of gray. But then there were also giant plants everywhere. Her living space was, I only want to talk about her living space. Also, why did she bring Billy the Cop back here and take a shower and come out and seduce him? Well, I think that he proved his worth. I mean, why not?

I have so many plot questions that I need to ask that are like, I do want to, I could continue to talk about her living space for conservatively six hours, but I really want to know, like, what is this movie about? Who are the heroes? Who are the villains? Like, well, what is the story? Also, we never find out. I loved the opening sequence in which the ninja loved it during the day. Very rare.

Ninja daytime sightings. Very rare. Very rare. And it was fascinating. When I saw ninjas in bushes, it looked like it was maybe one o'clock. Yes. Every ninja that comes out or ninja fight happens in broad daylight, and they are not stealthy at all. They make a lot of noise. They're throwing a lot of shit. They're basically the loudest ninjas I've ever seen. There's never one scene where...

in fact, in which a ninja is being a ninja at night. I don't think. Oh, wow, that's interesting. Which is traditionally what we understand to be the whole point of ninjas, which is the black outfits, absolute stealth, silent footsteps. You know what I mean? This is like, that's what their whole selling point is. Well, let me just bring this back. The movie opens, we're on a golf course because this ninja goes to a tomb and

In a place that I can only call outside of Culver City in Los Angeles to uncover, I guess, some secret weapons. He goes to this golf course. Okay, can I pause you for one second? Yeah. Okay. So, yeah, a ninja goes into a cave, pushes aside a rock. Got it. Which has, from underneath, mystical illumination.

And just tons of ninja weapons laying there. It looks like a mix between like an Apple store and like a Med Men store. Like it's very nicely laid out. What is that? Because they're also when she then goes later, that thing appears to have replenished itself with more ninja weapons. I have a feeling that outside of.

Sorry, Paul, but why is it in Culver City? Well, that's I was going to say, I feel like this ninja temple where ninjas are training outside of Culver City is, I think, the source of some sort of mysticality. And this ninja, we find out later, this ninja who goes in this brutal killing spree in the beginning kills a scientist. Yeah, a scientist. Did we ever find out why he killed the scientist? No.

Well, no. I mean, here's my biggest problem with this film, right? This ninja kills an innocent man. We don't know what the scientist does. If the scientists are good or bad, we don't know. Kills an innocent man, then kills like half of the Beverly Hills Police Department. And then...

As if they're bad guys. He kills them as if they are villains. And unquestionably, they are just doing their job. He has assassinated a scientist on the golf course. But here's my question. The whole movie is about this bad ninja seeking vengeance for the people who killed him. It's like, no, you're a bad guy.

Dude, man. That's what I mean. That's what I couldn't figure out. I think the ninja that's inside of her is the villain of the movie. 100%. Right? But I never understood what his motivation. We never find out why he killed the scientist. Maybe it was for a noble cause. Maybe it wasn't. Hold on, June. Were you having trouble with that concept? Because I heard you say it again. The ninja that's inside of her. Yeah. No, I understand. I'm trying to remember. Yeah, I understand that.

I think it's so hard because I didn't really ever know what any of the ninjas wanted. I agree. And when we get the flashback to when Eyepatch and the Gray Ninja are having their last fight, I don't know, some...

Long period of time ago in the forest, it also doesn't help illustrate. It just sets up the fact that they are enemies, but it doesn't help us illustrate who which is good and which is bad. You know, I don't know who I'm rooting for. I want to be rooting for the woman who is possessing. I was rooting for eye patch at the end of the day.

Yes, I think so. Eyepatch who has an eyepatch that looks like an eye has been pulled out of the socket. Like he has a little, like the decoration on the front of his eyepatch was really disturbing to me because it's like a, like I don't know how to describe it, like a...

like a clamshell opening or something. It's like, it's, it was like that kind of like a vagina. Yeah. Are you saying like an eye? I was going to, I was going to say a vagina. And then I was like, you know what? Let me just kind of figure it out. Let me, let me class this up. That's that's I'll leave it to Jason to parse that out. I just feel like that eye patch is calling a lot more attention to the fact that he has an eye patch. You're staring into it. Uh,

Deeply, because I'm trying to figure out what is on there. Also, for me, both the fact that he is wearing an eyepatch and dressed in all black is signifying that he is the villain, right? Exactly. These are classic movie tropes to tell us he's the bad guy. But yet they call the other guy the Black Ninja. Yes, right?

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I want to talk about two things. Yes, she was possessed by the Black Ninja because when he handed her his sword while she was working on a telephone pole. By the way, she is she is a telephone repairman. The same way that Jessica Biel's in or rather that Jennifer Biel's is like a steel worker in Flashdance. This woman works for like the city as an electrical repairman.

She, she, woman, repair woman. I think she gets the sword. And at that moment you see some sort of transfer of power. And I'm like, okay, I understand it. The, the ninja now has put himself inside of her vessel and now she's going to become the ninja. So in a couple of scenes, side of her vessel.

Are we just going to let that go by? You know, I just want to class it up. Inside of her vessel. He's inside of her vessel. That's a phrase that I feel like could be a pickup line. Please let me get inside your vessel. I'm a black ninja. I'd love to store something inside of your vessel. All you need to do is grab this sword.

So when he does do that, I thought the transformation was complete. But then about five minutes later, her giant video game machine comes on.

Lights come out of the video game machine like she's going to go into Tron and hypnotize her again. I'm like, wait a second. Is the video game machine also possessed or is he inside the video game machine? Also, there's light that comes out from the doors beneath her sink that seems to be compelling, you know, and then she tries to close those. Then she tries to turn on music and dance the possession away. Dance it out!

She tries to fight. She tries to fight. Instead of fleeing her home, which is having like, the house is shaking and it's chaotic. It feels like the scene from Ghostbusters. It feels like that scene. It would be as if they walked in, the mother walked in during the exorcist, during the scene when she's like, her head is twisting around and instead was like, why don't we put on your favorite song and have a dance party? Yeah.

Jason, all she knows how to do is dance because not only is she a telephone repair worker, but she also is a jazzercise instructor part-time. Listen, if I was her, you have to understand, she's lived in that nightmare of an apartment for that long.

I mean, if she is already sat within the horrors of that apartment, that crazy demonic like moment is not going to make her leave. I mean, here's the thing, though, that I'm troubled by, because you both are talking about good ninjas, bad ninjas. And maybe this is ultimately where I net out, because I did not think that ninjas in general were good, were forces of good in the world. And maybe I'm wrong about that.

Interesting. Interesting. I mean, I will say you're right in the sense that more often than not, ninjas are like a horde of faceless enemies that are considered bad. Right. Let's be, you know, OK, let's not. You know, like that's like, you know, we're skilled, but sent out to do the two. They are like nighttime assassins. They're assassins.

is pretty much what they are. Or like Twitch streamers. That's how I always view it. When I hear the word ninja, I'm thinking like, he's on Twitch. He's having fun. He's...

shirts off having cool times that sure is that why your shirt is off during this zoom yeah are you also are we on twitch right now guys we're streaming on twitch talking about ninjas but by the way i typed in ninja yeah to find out what ninja is and literally ninja the gamer is the first thing that pops up ninja is under ninja the gamer

What do you mean? What is Ninja the gamer? What's Ninja the gamer? Oh, that's what I was saying. The most famous gamer on Twitch is called Ninja. His name is Ninja. I'm sorry. You know what? I didn't even get that. Wow. I didn't even get that reference. Okay. So that's where I was coming from. How often are you on Twitch? And by the way, I have heard of Twitch and I've been on Twitch once. But what is it?

It's streaming. It streams video games. It streams other people playing video games. It's like a streaming platform predominantly for like, right, Paul? Yes. Type stuff. Yes. Sports. And now it's kind of grown and you can play games on there. It's, it's basically, uh,

a television studio in a way it's, you know, people come on for personalities and their shows. Uh, some people here on the earwolf network have their own shows there. And, uh, it's, it's quite fun. I mean, it could really be whatever you want it to be. Got it. Okay. Okay. That makes me feel very old, but okay. Yes. I don't think that's for me, but so I think,

I would love it if you set yourself a goal to become like a huge Twitch presence in the next year. I did watch someone on Twitch build like a tiny dollhouse and it was it was something I sort of had in the back. When were you? Wait, wait. You were on Twitch. Aren't dollhouses already pretty small? I just want to I want to back it up. When were you on Twitch? Because that has to be about it.

No, wait, I am so curious about how you got on Twitch. You can't even turn on Hulu without them, though. I was told by a friend that she was going to be on Twitch building some small, tiny furniture. If anybody wanted to go see her do it, she was going to be working on it for the next couple hours. This is also a category on Pornhub.

And I thought, what is this? Woman builds tiny furniture. What is this? And so I went on and it was actually rather soothing to just, she had some music on, but the angle, that's what was so interesting is like the angle was right over her face or anything. It's just like watching somebody work at a, you process something. Exactly. And so I had it kind of on in the background while I was doing other things on the computer. And yeah,

It was oddly soothing and interesting to watch it develop. Yeah. I've become obsessed with a guy whose YouTube channel is only him going usually for some sort of beautiful hike. Then he will. He doesn't talk much. It's just kind of beautiful. Then he'll come across a lake. He'll go fishing for a while. He'll catch something. Then he'll build a fire.

And then he will cook himself a meal and then kind of sit out on the lake and eat it and be like, what a beautiful day. How long is this video? Is it like hours? No, they're usually like 25, 30 minutes long. But it gives you a sense of like, it is relaxing to watch someone...

You know, not just prepare a meal, but catch and prepare a meal. I love that. That's impressive. And he's not talking to you throughout it. He's not. I mean, every once in a while he'll he'll he'll say, you know, like, OK, so I've got the fish ready. These are the things I'm going to add to it. And, you know, it's it's pretty simple recipe, though. You know, he doesn't really it's not like a narrative. He's not voiceover in a lot of stuff. Right.

And you have this on and are just watching it or it's sort of on in the background? I will have it like on while I'm doing a jigsaw puzzle or something. Sometimes he has his like family with him. Sometimes he has a dog with him. Sometimes he has his daughter with him and he's been doing it for years and you watch her like grow up and fish with him and it's incredibly compelling. I did some research into ninjing as we were talking about our YouTube and Twitch channels

faves. And this is what I found out. Ninjas were stealth soldiers and mercenaries. Their primary roles were of espionage and sabotage. And now assassinations are often attributed to ninjas, but that is

different. They didn't really do that. They were much more of the people that would travel in disguise to other territories, judge the situation of the enemy. They would get into the midst of the enemy, discover gaps and enter castles and set them on fire. So they basically were- Did you say they were mercenaries or were not? They were mercenaries. They were for hire. Yeah, so they're like a for hire army, basically. Yes, they weren't killing machines. Got it. So they were considered the anti-samurai.

So yes, there you go. I see. So just a little background. OK, so yeah, there it's a now. But this man, we don't know. So I guess someone hired the ninja to kill the scientist who seems to be very important because I know the president travels with Secret Service. I've never known a scientist to travel with. He has like six armed guards with him.

And that guy does not look like a scientist, by the way. And I'm sorry to stereotype. That guy looked too much like a jockey bro to be a scientist. Yeah, fuck you. Jocks can't be scientists. Get him out of here, you turds.

It was a little bit confusing because I felt like he was giving off more of a presidential, a pompous air when they just revealed he was a scientist. Like you say, he's a governor or something. I thought he was a politician or something like that. It seemed to me to be more within the category of person who has travels on the golf course with six armed guards. And then when you find out easily 50 minutes later that he was a scientist, I was like,

why, who paid the ninja to assassinate the scientist? And they didn't, yeah. And they didn't say like, oh, he was a scientist working on the so-and-so vaccine or he was the scientist who prevented the blank. They were like, he's a scientist.

That's it. They call him the scientist. The other thing is he, you know, they have so many opportunities to just sort of escape and run away after that one person has been killed. But they proceed to kill everyone around them. Yes. Like, that's what was so crazy. That whole sequence, that whole opening sequence was so brutal. Oh, yeah. It was really terrible. I mean, you don't ever see any blood, but...

And there's a shot at the end of it of just so many bodies laying dead on the ground. Well, that's why later on, it's crazy. Get the police department. I mean, if so much to say about the police department. But later on, one of the cops is referencing that event and says something about like, oh, yeah, we wasted one of those professionals.

I was like, no, you didn't. You like, I think 15 cops were killed. He massacred your entire department. Your entire police force. And by the way, if I was a police officer in this precinct, the only thing I would be talking about for weeks on end was like, holy fucking shit. Yes. Look,

A fucking ninja came in and killed 40 of our people. Guys, a ninja came in midday. We shot him conservatively 50 times and he didn't die. He kept coming back to life and killing more of us. Hang on. I'm just going to take these two women and go to the international spa for a quick midday threesome. What are the cops up to? Oh, I mean, first of all,

Who's filling out the requisition on the crashed police helicopter that also went down here too? I mean, this... Oh my God, that's right. By the way, that police helicopter scene is one of my favorite scenes because they clearly couldn't blow up a real... This is not Christopher Nolan blowing up a 747 in Tenet. This is like... They show a helicopter kind of driving a little bit crazy and then as soon as it passes over a ridge...

Huge explosion that we never see. Paul was like, are they going to have the money to blow it up? No, I immediately knew no way. I was like, there's no way they're going to show us this. But I will say, like, even though this is interesting because this happens to us a lot. Even though I was absolutely never clear on the storyline of the movie.

Yeah. In terms of who I was meant to be rooting for, what was happening actually, whose interests was I meant to be following, protagonist, antagonist, all this stuff. Characters that I didn't know who, like all the monks in the temple, good or bad, unclear. Unclear. It seems to me, though, that the person I want to root for is the female lead, obviously. Yes. Who's the aerobics instructor and works for the city as an electrician. Yes.

But she's possessed by a spirit that is causing her 50% of the time to kill innocent people.

I mean, look, I, I thought this was to be on board for her. I mean, look, I found this to be very similar to the relationship that Bill Murray has with Sigourney Weaver and Ghostbusters. You know, she's a musician. She's playing in this thing. Zool comes in, destroys the city, but like they got like, I mean, cause also, uh, Billy, the cop, he's got that kind of Bill Murray energy. He's fun. He's really got so much. He's that this movie rewards a stalker. Yeah.

This movie, he stalks her. He gets her number from the file and calls her. He finds out that where she's going to go and shows up at her at her work space, a workplace. He you know, he is a stalker until she's finally like, all right.

He fake arrests her. He goes, you're coming with me. And then he like just to keep her around and then it works. But I mean, I mean, this was just like dating in the mid eighties. Yeah, I guess he finds a katana. He finds a, like a samurai sword in her claw, her holding it in her closet. He just himself the day before killed a Ninja and, and doesn't put, they are, I mean, I will say the police are not very good at keeping track and making connections, but,

Even when he takes her to the exorcist and sees... I could talk for an hour about this scene, too. Even when he sees that she is possessed by a ninja, he tells her it's nothing. He just, you know, hypnotized you, blah, blah, blah. She then... That's when she goes out and kills everybody at the funeral. That blood is on Billy's hands. Well, so here's what's crazy about Billy, too. If your timeline is correct, I think it is. He's just seen...

I mean, how many of his coworkers, potentially his partners, massacred in front of him by ninjas?

And I believe it's either that day or the very next day. He's showing up at an aerobics class of hers. Being fun and flirty, like no remorse whatsoever. When she is giving her... Okay, he shoots with an M16, the ninja guy, right? During the day on the golf course. Okay. Then when... And she then...

She then sees the ninja when she's at the top of the telephone pole, goes down, gets the sword, transfers the spirit, blah, blah, blah. She's then in the police department giving her statement. And then Billy comes up and is hitting on her. He just witnessed 15 of his brothers go down and he is just like flippantly flirting. He is a sociopath.

Yeah, there's something very wrong with Billy. There's also something very wrong with his back hair. Okay. I had to look it up and he's not a Baldwin.

He had so much. But he's hairy like a Baldwin. He had so much hair. No one who has that much hair should be wearing that kind of a cut of an undershirt. It was one of those, you know, like I don't even know how you describe him in an appropriate term. It looked like he was wearing a sweater, but he was in a white tank top. Yes, tank top. Yeah, it's like it is so hairy. It's so rough.

It was so rough. As a hairy man, I'd say that was tough. It was it was it was distracting is what I'll say. In a way, though, that I was like and I mean this because I generally want to know this.

Is it distracting now because we don't see hairy men anymore? Because even now in movies, men who have hair take it all off when they do shirtless scenes. Great question. I mean, Jessica St. Clair and I talked about this. Like from our point of view, we either want to see like all the hair or none of the hair.

OK, so actually the most upsetting is sort of somewhere in between. But I think we did see all of the hair in this movie and it was actually way too much. This was all the hair. You know, this was this was all the hair in the world. Like this was so I did not look up the hair. It was all he got. I think they put extra hair on him. Well, but here's the thing. When we look at a Baldwin and we saw this with that Meg Ryan movie.

It's matted. It looks almost like a bear pelt. Here, it was a little bit more spread out, and I think the unwieldy nature of the hair made it seem dirtier. Listen, and I'm a hairy guy.

Yeah. I'm not trying to come in here judging like I'm some sort of careless woman. Who amongst? Who amongst? I mean, listen, I have all the hair. OK. I got all the hair. But has it just become societally we are conditioned the same way that if we saw a movie from the 70s, a full bush seems anachronistic now that it would now. You know what I mean? By the way, I think full bushes are making a comeback.

Thank God. Especially in quarantine. Especially in quarantine. Oh, quarantine Bush is very real. And it's not talking about... But here's the thing. It's not talking about getting George W. Bush to stay at home. Here's the thing I want to say about his hair. Someone else could have had all...

all that hair and also worn it in a different way. There was something about the color of his skin. Yeah, his skin was pasty. And then to see that hair spread out the way it was, it was not right. And I could not take my eyes off of it.

He didn't need to be in that tank. I think the tank is doing... I think if he didn't have the tank on, we would have accepted the hair better. It was that it was kind of hidden and coming out of the tank. I think you can own that hair. Well, it's the same way. Sometimes if you have to do a sex scene and they give you these weird pasties to cover up your nipples, and it's almost more obscene to have those on.

I felt the same way about his tank top. It's like, let's let her let's let her live. You know, I feel like the moment before they said action, he was saying to the director, are you sure I have to wear this action? And he was like, you know, I feel like I know my heart. My heart broke.

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I do have a question about this movie in general, too. Is there a mystery about him in this movie? Like, are we to believe that she does not know that he is?

The guy with the M16 because his face is in shadow. I mean, clearly he's the guy, but it's, it's treated throughout the whole film as if she's not very clear. Yes. Yes. I think what you're saying is true. The movie is trying to put forward this idea that whenever she is,

confronted by one of the men that killed the ninja that now resides inside of her because he filled her empty vessel with a ninja soul. Yes. I think that for...

For him, whenever the bad ninja sees through her eyes one of the guys that killed her, the guy with the cigar-playing pool in his own house, he has a full pool set up in his own house. Everybody in this movie is making a lot of money. I mean, the amount of space they're getting in 1984 is giant. So whenever Chris sees one of these guys, Billy's co-workers,

And recognizes them like the bad ninja inside of her, like has a flashback to who killed him. Right. But what never. But you're right. They never show Billy fully illuminated until the very end of the movie when she realizes he was part of it. And that was what was weird about their first interaction in the first time. Like they had the V8 like.

sex scene was at first i can't say that casually i'm sorry we gotta talk about this we'll get into the v8 sex scene but but what was interesting and you said it before jason like she immediately wants to fuck him after after he's telling him he stalks her and i don't i she says no it's nothing to do with him so i thought oh it's not her right now it's the ninja

I thought that too. You thought that too. I thought that very first interaction when she comes out in the towel, I was like, oh, she's trying to seduce him so that she can get the, that's, I get what's going on. Right. And of course ninjas drink V8.

Well, I think that that is part of her life. We hear at one point when she goes for a psychological evaluation that she's obsessed with Japanese culture. That never comes up in dialogue or in any moment of the film. But we do hear two things from her. At one point, he's like, can I buy you a soda? And she said, I don't use soft drinks. I don't use soft drinks. I noticed that as well.

Yeah. And then she's like, but I'll, but I have some V8 back in my house. I guess she's trying to be, I mean, that's like the health. Keep in mind the scene that precipitates this, right? The, the scene that precipitates her and Billy's first getting together is he shows up at her aerobics class. Okay. He takes it, but it's really hard. And, but she crushes it also once again, like perfect. Like I'm so happy to be watching people doing aerobics and in those outfits, it's the best. Yeah.

And in, again, carpeted floors and heavy drapery. And what we're watching is these women doing these aerobics and then these men. Can you imagine going to a gym and there being carpet? Heavy carpet. Heavy drapes. Heavy drapes. You got it. You know, it soaks up the sweat. Here's the thing. The men are working out on, like,

Nautilus machines And they are like In pain From how much weight They're lifting And also in sexual Ecstasy Because they're getting To watch all these Women work out And I need to play The song that was Written for the movie The movie is called Ninja 3 Domination This is the song Called Domination I just want to break down Some of these lyrics here Devin Here we go It's time you went to Tune up that ninja

I mean this is

I mean, this song is crazy. First of all, it's a song for a ninja movie. And it's like there's a line in there. It's like if every time you look in the mirror, you gross yourself out. If your sex life is like empty because you're in the kitchen. It's a really weird song. And I think the word ninja is also in there. Well, I mean, I guess it's meant to be.

aspirational for the people taking the class, you know? Yeah. You know, this is motivational. I don't know. I couldn't make out some of those lyrics, but it did remind me I loved this scene because it keeps cutting back and forth between an aerobics class, a full aerobics class, and people working out on gym equipment that are in the same room.

They're not separated. The class isn't in a classroom and the people aren't on the floor of the gym using machines. They're all crammed into the same space. Yeah. The machinery section is also on carpet. They literally have less room in that gym than she has in her apartment.

Well, what's so crazy is what comes right after this scene is all of those men that they keep on cutting back to. Yeah. Who are sorry, Jason, who are watching enthralled and like staring at these women's bodies as they're doing aerobics.

By the way, this also made me miss aerobics. Like what a dumb fad. That was just it looks like fun, though. I'm like, I don't know what happened to it and why it stopped, but it looked like fun. But when they go outside, I feel like the thing that has I feel like the thing that scratches that itch now are people who take like dance classes that are exercise based.

you know, right. What they're doing is, well, Zumba has been around for a while, but now what they're doing, I feel is like, we're, we're going to do ballet or like Pilates ballet or, you know, and disguising it bar method where it's like, we're, we're going to pretend we're not working out, but we are where there's something I appreciate about, um,

the 80s fitness fads which were like no no no we are trying to lose weight and we are trying to raise our heart rates and jump around um lose weight raise our heart rates and dot dot dot jump around i mean that's the best way to do it jump up and get down i mean house of pain had it right

By the way, my Peloton teacher teaches this kind of aerobics. I'm just in there. Really? No. Yes. Actually, you're right. They do. There's a new Peloton class called dance cardio. But it's not this. I've taken that.

If somebody were smart at Peloton or one of those exercise places, they would do a nostalgic 80s style aerobics. Oh my God, I would love to do it. Emma Lovewell, get on this. I bet they would find out that aerobics was somehow bad for you. Like that it's bad for your knees or that it's not efficient exercise. Hit cardio is terrible for your knees. But it's just cardio. I mean, it's just...

you're just sweating and jumping around. Like it can be no worse than going for a run. Yeah, probably. Yeah. And there's all those ways to modify it. But anyway, when they walk, when she, when Chris walks outside, the whole class goes outside. The class empties to an alley. Every building empties to an alley. No one goes in a front door. No one walks in a front door. This is a Los Angeles that is all alleys.

Oh, my God. You're right. All alleys. No Kate's. No. So she walks outside and all of those men who were pumping iron on the equipment are cornering a small woman. Yes. Cornering. Attacking. They are attacking her. Ripping through her bag. They seem to be both rape, wanting to rape her and wanting to rob her.

Yes. Did they want to rob her? They were rifling through her bag at one point. So that's why I mentioned that. That's what I saw too. I mean, there's a lot. And it's not just like, it is...

It is like seven men on one woman. And this is what I just want to bring as we talk about the scene, just back to the world that this movie is talking about. Maybe this is a world where people have no empathy because no one does anything. There's a group of 20 people. The whole class just watches. Well, listen, I've always been suspect of gym culture in general. Okay, so get into it.

What do you mean? This class, there's probably 25 women there. There's not like...

I've never felt comfortable as a woman. I have never felt comfortable in gym culture. Okay. Okay. I always feel like there's a dynamic there. And I think we saw it play out where the women are trying to discipline their bodies to be. That's why we're there to be pleasing to the male gaze. And the men are there watching, um,

And there's something about that dynamic and that exchange of power that has always felt very strange to me. And it also feels like testosterone gone wild. What about curves? Oh, that's fine. I love curves. Never been to one. So you're not against everything.

exercise. You're not against... No. Anything. I'm like an exercise junkie, even though I've not exercised once during this quarantine, but I love exercise. You don't want the culture of going to the gym, going to those classes, and being stared at. You want to just go to the gym in your privacy. I've never felt comfortable as a woman in a gym. Okay, and here's what I'll say, because I also never feel comfortable in a gym.

But it's only because it's disgusting. I remember we talked about the gym. You know what I'm talking about. The one right over there. Yes. Yes. Well, you also went to the most disgusting gym. But I've been to plenty of others. Equinox is not a disgusting gym. I've never tried an Equinox. At that point, I just gave up. But like little gyms are a straight up barf. Inside and out.

I will say that the gym that you both are referring to was my gym. And you know what? There's a lot of good buddies in there. We had a good culture. My gym rats would get in there. We'd have some good conversations. There's something about going into a gym where people are working out hard, working out hard in street clothes, not gym clothes.

That is very unsettling to me. When you see people wearing jeans. The only person I've ever seen do that was Shia LaBeouf. I was going to say that's our in. And I wasn't going to say his name. But why not? Shia LaBeouf in cowboy boots. Just like walked in off the streets and started working out. Cowboy boots. Cowboy boots. That's his whole thing, man. He just walks into gyms. He has a whole rule. If he passes a gym, he goes in and he does a few sets.

- Do 20, just do 20. But here's the thing. We are talking about gym culture, but we also have to acknowledge there is a police officer present. - Yes.

Yes, off-duty police officer Billy is watching as first one woman is almost raped and robbed. And then Chris is the only person who steps in. She is almost raped and robbed. And he's just standing in the crowd like, I wonder what's going to happen. And he says to her... To go back to, sorry, Paul, but to go back to whether the ninja that is in her vessel, whether that's a good ninja or a bad ninja, it's hard to know again because I think

a part of what's happening in that moment is Chris deciding like she's the moral barometer that we're looking to. But then it's also the ninja. Yeah. Well, she suddenly has the skill set of the ninja, but in service of what she wants, which is to beat these guys up.

versus at other times she goes into a blackout state and just only does what the ninja wants. Like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde scenario. You know what I mean? Because when she wakes up, she's like, I don't know what's going on, Billy. I don't remember hours at a time. And those hours, spoiler alert, are spent murdering.

So you're we're saying that this is more of a matrix situation where she just kind of got plugged into ninja skills. She doesn't even know how she's doing it. But then when the ninja really takes over, he's blacking her out. Well, that's what she it seems like she's saying each time when he says, well, like when when Billy finally realizes what's going on and he comes any points of gunner. And so you killed all those people. She's like, what are you talking about? Like she doesn't have anything.

any memory she is like in a blackout state like it's basically the ninja it's basically reagan in the exorcist she is taken over by the demon you know um which is i think i thought you're gonna say reagan in his second term like reagan in his second term just not knowing what's going on at all

But it's it really is. It speaks to like I feel like them trying to absolve Chris of any moral implications of the murders she's committing is to say she has no memory of the fact that she's doing them. So she can't be held morally responsible for them because we want to root for her. But then we watch her just murder. Genuinely innocent. These aren't dirty cops she's murdering. These are just the police.

Well, I do find this police department to be a bit problematic. But yes, I don't think they should be murdered. But here's the thing I'll say. It's so easily fixed if you make the ninja somebody that is getting revenge, like someone who has been wronged. We are watching a bad guy kill the people. The core concept of it is so crazy. Like,

He deserved to be gunned down on that golf course. Like, there's no reason why he wasn't gunned down. I mean, he's a bad guy. It's, I don't know. Sorry. I agree. I think the guy inside of her is the villain. And then when we're rooting for eyepatch, we think, oh, we realized, oh, this must be the best. He must be the good guy. He wants to put a stop to all this senseless murder. But then there's never once.

Any exposition scene, there's the hint of it in the exorcism scene that is, again, just bananas when they chain her up and tie her up and she spins around. And it is literally a riff on The Exorcist, which is really funny. He gives even the slightest hint of there's a story, and that's when we get the flashback. But it really doesn't help us...

any further understand why these two ninjas hate each other. You know, we just understand that. I like that. He goes, the only way to do this is to go to Japan because that's the only person who can solve this cut to the guy, like getting off the plane, being like, I'm already here. You don't have to go to Japan. Don't worry. Also, when he gets off the plane, when I bet gets off the plane and he's met by monks from the temple, all of them, Japanese, they speak only English to each other. Yeah.

Why? You are greeting friends at the airport. You are all native Japanese speakers. Why would you speak in English? It's crazy. They went Hollywood, man. They went to Hollywood. That's it. Sorry, buddy. They're in Hollywood. Is this like an actor's commune? That's what I kept on thinking. Are these ninjas in town to be like,

you know look yeah we are you know we have this temple outside of culver city but if we pick up a couple acting jobs it's not a big deal like oh i had an under i had an under five on hill street blues oh how did you get that can i go in can i meet your agent like they're just they're just ninjas trying to get work that's my sitcom pitch 1980s ninjas trying to get work in a in a busy city

Yeah, I don't want to because we've referenced it a couple of times and I just don't want to let it pass us by without due diligence paid to her method of seduction to Billy when she gets him back to her apartment is she puts a pajama top on, sits on his lap and then pours a six ounce bottle of V8 on

on her neck so that it drips down into her cleavage. V8, for people who don't know, is a thick, viscous, vegetable drink. It's a tomato juice-based drink that is... It's horrible. And when she pours it on herself, I recoiled. I was like, what on earth is this? This is going to definitely give her some sort of UTI. But also, here's the thing, like...

He doesn't seem to like V8. Like, she's the one hoisting V8 on him. Like, he likes the soda. So, like, why would he want to be like, oh, now I got to lick this? Like, it's like you're putting something I don't like. Guess what I don't want to lick off of a woman's body? Like, eight vegetables blended into a juice. And then I want to kiss that mouth? Do you really want to, like...

Like all tomatoey in bed. Like there's just, do you think she was trying to cover for the fact that she was having her period?

Well, that's what I think that they were going for, that it was going to look like blood. It seemed to me, because I had that same instinct, but I was like, but that would make sense in a vampire movie. Yeah, that's what I wrote too. It's not a vampire movie. For someone to pour red juice down their neck. That's like a vampire riff. But this is a ninja movie. But by the way,

It should be the other way. It should ultimately be the other way. She should have poured it on him and licked it off. Like, cause she's more of an animal that Paul, but the hair. Oh no, no, no. By the way, I would say they kept pouring it and it just kept soaking in. Oh, it just didn't work. Oh, we can't see the V8. Correct.

We can't see the V8. We lost the V8 again. The camera's not picking up the V8. Guys, more V8. You've probably got over a gallon of V8 somewhere trapped in the hair of your body. You've got to be careful. Off camera, someone with an oil can drum a V8. Guys, we need a wet, dry vac for Billy. We've got to get some of this V8 out of it.

The V8 scene. His chest was like Bozo the Clown's wig now, just red. It was clearly meant to be so sexy, like nine and a half weeks level sexy, but it was the choice to have it be V8 I found confounding. It was really, really wild. The thing is, if they were going for a red kind of color...

The V8, it doesn't, even though it's tomato based, the color of it is so off-putting. Yes. It's sort of a brown red. It also looks like there's pieces of things in it. Like when you blend up a juice, you're going to get some pulpy elements to it. There are some pulpy elements as it was going down her chest. It's thick and viscous. It's not like it will. Please stop saying viscous. Also, it's going to stain.

Oh, yeah. It's going to be the couch, the bed. Now, Billy's going to lick that shit up. Toots. Here's the thing that's so hilarious is I think part of the reason V8 exists is because people at this time did not eat vegetables.

And so there was like a whole thing about like, you can have a V8. I should have had a V8 was the thing, which is to say, like, I'm so malnourished because I don't trust vegetables because I'm a fucking moron in the 80s that V8 was like, have a V8. It gives you all the vegetables.

I grew up around this, the time of V8, which I know all three of us probably did. And this movie was evocative in that way. Like there was so much disgusting eating. Like at one point she's eating Yoplait. Oh, yeah. That looked so gross, too. And this was a time like I remember every time I sat down for dinner, a giant liter of like Coca-Cola was placed there.

in the middle of the meal. Like, I don't think I had a glass of water till I was 18 years old. I remember I would get a bowl of Cheerios

And I was allowed to put one spoonful of sugar. Yes, sugar, sugar. That's into this bowl. No questions asked. Yep. Stir it up like normal. Oh, yeah. That was like a snack. My dad made crepes for me and every crepe that he would make, he would take sugar, pour it in the center and then roll it up. So it was basically a table. At least you got like real food. Like I didn't even get.

anything that came from the ground or the earth until I was, I feel like 18 years old. I mean, look, I had some crazy things going on with food, but yeah, food was never really an issue. I will say that my drink of choice was V8 as a kid. Whoa! Ew! Yeah.

yeah what i loved it loved it i think v8 is a straight disgusting oh no no no and clemado juice even better well that's good for a bloody mary i would drink it without still can you imagine somebody pouring a bloody mary over their body and being like come get it i feel like i'll see you never okay

I think I thought like, I think I chomped seductively on a celery stalk. I mean, what the fuck are we doing? Oof, oof, oof. I mean, now if she, now if he was a bartender, I could get this like, oh, he's got to be pulled in by like a good mixer or something like that.

I can't believe you drank V8. I'll never get over that. That is fascinating. What's there to love? You didn't love it. There's nothing to love about it. Oh, it's got like a tang to it. I mean, every reason that I hated that sex scene is why I love V8. I'm like, oh yeah, I would have a nice cold V8. It would come in a can and you'd have to pop the thing. So you weren't, were you turned on? Because that's like,

A hot woman and V8? Were you turned on by that? No, I don't want that. I don't want to mix those two pleasures. Do you have a V8 finish? Glad to hear it. What? I don't have a V8 finish. I want to keep it in the glass and I want to keep it in my gullet. That's the only place I want V8. I don't want to lick it off anything. June, I'm going to need you to open Paul's bedside table and see if there are any tiny V8s in there. No, it's okay. He just wants it in his vessel. This is how I would do my V8. Can I just give you my V8 recipe and...

All right, this is what I would do. I come home from school, crack open a V8. I'm so upset. Take Tabasco, hit it like four or five times with Tabasco in there. And then sprinkle pepper on the top. And then I'd stir it up with a celery stalk. And that would be like my after school treat.

What are you talking about? What are you like? Did you think you were like some sort of like ad man from the 60s? Okay, but this is why. You came up with that when everybody else was making like chocolate milk. Bagels, cream cheese. And root beer floats. Diet Coke. And pizza bagels. You were having like a spicy tomato based vegetable drink.

I mean, I would really get a real spicy, too, you know, because I could kind of make it my own way. You know, you are so odd. You are so, so strange, my man. You are so very episodes of the Mike Douglas show. And, you know, the reason why, by the way, one of the things that one of Paul's first foods ever, the first, I think, solid food he ate was shellfish.

Clams. Clams. I'm sorry. So clams. Yeah. And I think that's what led you to having that strange, like bloody, you know, virgin Bloody Mary because your palate is so off. Oh, yeah. I mean, I would I mean, I would eat the cocktail sauce with crackers. I mean, like, let's get to it. Oh, wow. That's what? Yeah.

Cocktail sauce and crackers? Yeah. I would give anything to be currently walking into the first ever adult party you hosted to see what you put out on the table. Yes.

Sorry, Paul. I just dipped this Ritz cracker into what I believe is cocktail sauce. Is that what we're doing? I would use oyster crackers. But yeah, absolutely. So you come home from a long day at school. You come home from a long day at school and are you passing like yo-yos, malamars, all that type of jazz and going right to your V8 cocktail? We didn't really have like sugary cereals in the house and stuff like that. Like I think...

We'd had some Entenmann's and I would definitely I would do that. My grandma had a lot of like country time lemonade. So I would do that occasionally, too. I do some scoops of country time. But yeah, but if I have my druthers, I felt really like this is my special drink. But was that did you feel like and maybe this is like, did you feel like that's an adult drink?

Like, was there a part of it that you're like, I'm mixing a drink? Yes. I'm sure there's a James Bond element. I was a loving James Bond when I was a kid. So I feel like there was something about it that felt like that wasn't. You were like, I got to take a load off. Would you also come home and take a, put on a tiny tuxedo? I mean, yeah, I would. And play back a rat in your front room? I mean, I did carry a concealed weapon on me all the time as a kid, a concealed toy weapon. Is that true? Yes. Wait, what? What?

A concealed toy weapon? Where? And what was the weapon? What was the weapon? Toy or not? You cannot say concealed toy weapon. That makes no sense. No.

And where would you conceal it? Because as a child, you don't have much space. That's a great question. Also, there's no weapons made as toys that are meant to be concealed. Yeah.

Or they were meant to be actual functional weapons. Well, I mean, because I had a bunch of guns when I was a kid, so I would put the gun behind my back. Magnum GI style? Yeah, so I put it behind my back in my underwear, so it would be a little bit between my pants and my underwear. That's where it would kind of live. And you would go to school like that? No, no, no, no, not school. Just after school. But would you wear a coat over it so that people couldn't see the gun? No.

I mean, I wasn't. Because I understand because that's how Magnum PI used to carry a gun. And so anytime I would carry a gun, had a toy gun or whatever, I would always do the same thing. Put it in the back like Magnum PI. Yeah, exactly. Right. But you're saying like you carried it like that's what you went to school doing. Oh, no, no, no. I mean, like I would say I did it a lot, but it wasn't like a

Habitual. I didn't do it every single day. I would never bring it to school because school I had to wear a uniform. And although the uniform would have covered it up really good. But...

Because I had to wear a jacket. I did have to wear a jacket. Holy shit. But I liked having like... Holy shit. That is... The idea of you relaxing at home with a toy gun tucked into the back of your belt, drinking a spicy V8 is absolutely a t-shirt. Yeah.

is without a doubt a t-shirt like that is crazy a baby paul sheer james bond with a little gun oh man oh my god holy cow that's funny yeah that was uh that was yeah i mean that was what was going on in my house um so but i i will say that that sex scene was i mean am i wrong to say that that sex scene was kind of sexy before the v8 came out

I felt like it was kind of like building. Yeah. I would agree. I was shocked when the V8 came out. Especially because she had said, I have a V8 at my house. Didn't she say to him, I have a V8 at my house? Yeah. She did say that. Would you come back to my house for a V8? In this era, was that synonymous with Netflix and chill? Interesting. I've got a V8 at my house is code for want to get freaky. Oh, God. Yeah.

It's also like, do you want, do you honestly want like a V8 sloshing around inside of you? Of course not. Are you suggesting, are you suggesting, June, that they were using V8 as lube? Oh, no, no, no. I'm just saying like the feeling of like, I've actually never, I think I've only had a sip of V8 and I thought it was disgusting. Oh, June, let me bring some into the house. Oh, God. Please let me bring some into the house. No. You know, I love a Bloody Mary, but...

I could never drink a V8 on its own. That's disgusting. Yeah, never. But I'm just saying the feeling of being heavy and full with a V8 is

Like, that's a gross feeling to have. Yeah. It's like, I can't imagine, like, V8 is supposed to be a meal supplement, right? Correct. It's supposed to give you, it's like a realer school drink. It would be like bringing someone home and being like, hey, V8.

Why don't you pour this Ensure down the front? Absolutely. Or like, I'm just going to quickly have a cottage cheese. Yeah. No, no. It's just disgusting. I'm going to throw a thick yogurt on your tits and go to town on you. Disgusting. I've got Greek yogurt coming and going.

Oh, God. Yeah, no, it's all those disgusting 80s things like watching her eat that yogurt. As someone who sees my kids eat yogurt, it was grosser in that little container. Oh, the yo plays. And she's eating the yogurt sitting atop Billy's desk at the police precinct.

Yeah, she gets really comfortable on that desk. Why is she eating a yogurt there? Why? And she's just hanging out there, like sitting on the desk. Here's a question about Chris. Do you think Chris wants to be a full-time aerobics instructor and is just doing...

repair work on telephone wires to pay the bills or such a good question is she happy with her career and the aerobics is just like a sidekick what happened in that moment when Billy comes to visit her at work to tell her that he can't hang out with her that night and then she's like okay yeah and then she jumps in the no idea and then drives away and her partner's like hey hey

Chris, Chris. I think what happened is she wanted to kill him. Oh. Like her ninja, the ninja. She had to dance it off. She had to dance it off. That might be right, actually. Yeah. So she's really got to shake it off like Taylor Swift style every time she sees him because it's almost like she's like those guys at the gym. She's like, can't control it. She's got to go. She's got to go now.

Listen, when I saw Chris's hair, it was one of the things I was thinking of her hairdo, which is sort of a sheet of bangs going downward toward her forehead. And then another sheet that's up. That was that was every girl I went to high school with. So, OK, so it was like a claw of bangs down and a claw of bangs up. There's now at the time, Jason, from a man's perspective.

Did you see that and you were like, oh, that looks great? Oh, my God. I was like that like hip because that she I don't know what year this is, but that her 84. OK, so that style, right? Her look is.

is the look that was popular when I hit puberty. Right. So when I am like aware of sexuality and being attracted to women and blah, blah, blah, this is the look that was ubiquitous, you know, which is, you know, it's flash dancing. Like she's really very obviously in this movie modeled after that character. Mm hmm.

But that look of bangs and like bangs going down, bangs going up was so ubiquitous. And there is my friends and I went to the movies once and the girls came out of the bathroom and they were laughing so hard. And it was a joke that remained popular amongst our group of friends for years because they'd been standing at the mirror and there was just a girl spraying her hair bangs up and saying, ah, my hair is so flat.

Like she just kept saying that her hair was so flat, even though it was like sticking up like a crate. It's it's it is the craziest look. I don't know why it took off. I will say I didn't notice anything weird about it. I am the same way with Jason. I didn't know. I was like that. Yeah, I think that's attractive because I think I all the movies I saw and all the active.

I mean, I think like, it's a weird thing. It's like, I don't view it as like, oh, that's so old. It's like, oh, that reminds me of a look in a key. Like exactly what Jason said. The same way that I would feel about, the same way that I would feel about, like it's a dated hairstyle. The same way that like somebody, if somebody cut their hair in the Rachel right now,

I would still think it attractive because I remember at the time it being an attractive thing and everybody did it. It's literally the worst cut ever. But it is terrible looking. It's terrible. It is terrible looking. It makes no sense. Yeah. I agree. I agree. I think like in almost every way, shape and form, like.

We've been shown over and over again in pop culture to not cut your hair. I mean, Felicity is the ur text of this. Yeah. Listen, I tried to get I never could get two layers of bangs. So I just did like one sort of one up. Yeah. One up. And then everything else, you know, sort of fell around it. But.

Yeah, it was just crazy looking at that hair. I was like, can white ladies even still do that? Like, it looks so foreign to me. Is it even still possible? It's also got so much volume and body. So much volume. It's also huge on her head. But here's the weird thing about it. It's huge on her head, but I feel like...

Unlike Billy's hair, if you got in close to her hair, it would there wasn't actually a lot of hair there. It looked like cloud like it's in. Oh, wow. She's like whispering it up. So she's cotton candy in her hair here. It looked like it.

Whereas his was so thick. I mean, I think she's a very attractive woman who has a bitchin' hairstyle. I don't understand how she got it under... Yeah, I don't understand how she got it under that ninja hood. Because that ninja hood, that hair is not going to look great. Like, I feel like that would have been the dead giveaway. Like, ninja hat head. Like, it would have been a little bit scrunchy. Yeah.

You just can't take off a ninja cow and look good. Now, by the way, this movie does start to meander a little bit. The movie is only an hour and 32 minutes. But by the time we get to this final battle sequence in an abandoned house, in an abandoned house, one of the best sequences of the entire film is here at the end when basically the the old ninja comes back to life.

His spirit goes back into the two ninjas are fighting. And then this ninja starts spinning like a top goes into the earth and

and then creates an earthquake to which the other ninja is like holding on for dear life because he's like ratcheted something around a tree and he's holding on. I mean, this movie is bonkers. Yeah. Bonkers. And our two main characters who we've been watching the entire movie, what do they do in the third act? Watch. They sit on the sidelines. Witness.

They stand like they're looking at a Thanksgiving Day parade float. They don't even look impressed by it. They just kind of look like, oh, that's a thing. They are fully sidelined. And the two ninjas then go and have, they chase each other. They have a fight inside of an abandoned house where they go jumping between floors. They're able to punch through walls. They're able to, like, they're,

Their strength and their abilities are enormous, but are so minimized by the fact that they're just in like the shell of a suburban home, which is strange to me.

But it was like Billy and Chris, you really are like they're not even watching the action. They're still in the temple, you know? Yeah, they're just around. I don't even understand. Who is this movie about, you know? Well, this is, you know, I did a little bit of research, or I should say Nick Kiley did a little bit of research here. And he found out that apparently the ending was reshot.

Um, the original theatrical version, uh, was so basically finished the movie and it wrapped. And the whole idea was that she was going to become the Ninja. That was what the whole end was going to be. Um, so, uh,

So they decided to bring back the ninja instead and make her kiss Billy. She said she didn't like that. She said because why would he want to kiss her? She's murdered all of his friends. She thought that was weird. And she wanted to be the black ninja because she felt like by killing that other ninja, she would have completed her character's transition from the beginning on.

of the film. So she was looking for the character arc that she was now going to become the most evil person in the world. By the way, a far more compelling storyline for her. You know, especially if, and forgive me because we haven't talked about it yet, but if this steps on anything you're about to talk about, Paul, but this is Ninja 3. So, like, I'm assuming this is part of a series, so why not set her up to be the big bad, the villain of next...

The next Ninja 4 where she now is in full control of her powers. That would be cool to me. It would be so much fun to have this American Ninja. Warrior. Oh boy, there we go. We can talk about that all day. But basically what happens is he goes off, the director and the writer go off to make American Ninja just without her.

Which is a bummer because I thought she was really, really good. And she was terrifying. So there is a sequel to this, American Ninja. Well.

Well, I mean, here, they're not sequels. Or not a sequel, but like a spiritual sequel. Right, because this director has directed a ton of ninja movies. Revenge of the Ninja, American Ninja, Avenging Force, American Ninja 2. He also directed all the sequels to Delta Force, American Samurai, Cyborg Cop, Cyborg Cop 2. And then he really has kind of cornered the market on ninja films. I mean, that honestly sounds like...

a year's worth of how did this get made episodes i mean they really are i'm like one of his movies is called spiders to breeding ground another one's called motel feeling i feel like we should dedicate like we should do a film festival of this guy's movie

We should basically do like a blank check version of our show where we go like, all right, Sam Furstenberg, he made American Ninja 3. Like, let's get into it. All right, well, I feel like we've talked about a lot. Obviously, we have an opinion about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinions. The movie was a piece of shit. Yet this person recommends it. Tell me what is the message?

that art is subjective I need a second opinion these are five star reviews cold from Amazon thank you John Lajoie for that awesome theme 297 total reviews

And 79% are five-star reviews. And I think the reason why this is so highly reviewed is because people actually love it. And I think this movie is also one of those cult films that people love to watch in a group situation. I never heard about this until Avril brought it to my attention. She emailed me late one night and was like, guys, this is the movie for you.

And she wasn't wrong. But here's just a sampling of reviews. This is from Amy M. Gusty. She writes,

31 years looking for this movie, and now I am very happy. And top it off, you can either watch this movie on Blu-ray or regular DVD. You get two choices. Way better than VHS. And you don't have to wait. You just turn on your TV and wham, it's on. So good.

He'll keep on going back to your favorite parts of the movie. And I'm 39 years old, and I still can't get enough of this movie. I'm still a kid at heart. Amazing. I don't disagree. I mean, it sounds like, first of all, I've never heard anyone sing the praises of having a DVD and a Blu-ray. Like, do you have, like, I guess she has multiple players around the house. I wish I'd seen this movie as a kid. This would have been amazing. I know.

I know. This is one from Ramaki Boyd. He writes, I know this is an old movie, but I love it. It reminds me of when my mother took us to see it in a theater that no longer exists more than 20 years ago. I bought it for nostalgia. FYI, both the Blu-ray and DVD play in the PS4. Oh, my God. What is... Why is this part of it? What the fuck?

I don't know why people are so excited about a Blu-ray and DVD. This one from Courtney is just, this movie will make you cream your shorts. Five stars. I mean, I don't disagree, but I'm also very lonely.

And then this one is written by a ninja. Apparently, if DVD technology was ever created for one purpose, it was to digitize the VHS version of this film. Yes, I call it a film because to call it a movie is to ignore its place in the collective development of any 80s teenager. My only gripe is that the bad ninja lost. I love bad.

Bad ninjas. If Obama really wanted to get my vote in 2012, he'd nudge some of that stimulus money towards HD, nay, a 3D version of this film. That would be a change I could believe in. Five stars. Written a little bit in jest, but also people really are obsessed with the transfer to

people are really consumed by it being like updated and playable on modern technology and then that's like let's even bump it up more let's get it in hd i don't even want the blu-ray anymore um all right so ninja three of the domination came out in september of 1984 uh the tagline was he's the ultimate killer she's the perfect weapon we don't know what the budget was

The opening weekend was 1.7 million, which is not bad. And the domestic gross was $7.6 million. Oh, that's amazing. Considering if you watch this, this movie was shot like a Star Trek episode. Like it's all either interiors or like just wild space outside of, you know, L.A. County. So it's really, it must have cost, like I'm going to say a million dollars to make. There's nothing in this.

Well, this movie oddly is profitable because the top three movies of 84 are Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones, Temple of Doom and Gremlins. And this movie, it beat Runaway, the Tom Selleck movie that we did and Body Rock. It was beaten by Rhinestone and Streets of Fire. But, you know, it did pretty good. It came in 105th place of all the movies released that year for a movie. That makes me feel even weirder that I've never heard of it.

No more have I ever heard of Ninja 1 or 2, frankly. I mean, we got to get into this, the canon films here. I think I know what everyone's going to say, but let's go around the horn. Do you recommend this movie, June? Oh, yeah. I mean, this was a great, this was a really fun movie to watch. And I was so nervous at the beginning and I thought it was going to be so painful and painful.

It really went down a lot easier than I expected. Like a nice glass of V8 with a splash of Tabasco. A little salt and pepper. Yeah. Let me add some pepper. Oh, I love putting pepper in there. Give it a little bit more of a kick. I'm just picturing you like that scene in Freaks and Geeks where Martin Starr goes home and watches whatever

What is he watching? Not my, he's watching. No, it's not the tonight show. You're right. Chandling, right? Oh, I'm a yes. I'm a hard yes on this movie. I think, I think it's a fucking blast. I think everybody's fantastic. I think she's terrific. Everybody else is like a real character. Ackie pulpy actor. He kind of pulpy. Great. Uh,

I love the actor who plays the guy who's trying to exercise the demon out of her who's been in like a million movies. Oh, he's so great. He was so great. James Hong. Yes, he's wonderful. This movie had no business being as good as it is. I thought it was going to be a real mess and it was fucking a blast. And I want to call out especially the score, the synthy kind of driving score. I love that 80s synth. Fuck yeah.

I love that 80s synth. It got its own credit. It says synth score by. Yes. As if it's like, it's not a score. It's a synth score. Yes. And I was like, yes. And it's like very reminiscent of like the old John Carpenter kind of synthy kind of driving propulsive scores that he used to do. And I'm assuming that's what they were trying to ape as a result.

But I mean, you know, the way that like all these movies, the way that can and the way that these guys were kind of taking all the tropes from what was successful at the time and combining them into these like nonsense movies. This one worked and it was a I loved this. I had a blast. I totally agree. I highly recommend this movie. And I think there's something about the Canon group that the the movies that they made were

had a level of schlock but fun to them. It's almost like they understood that movies were like a party and they should be like, who cares? As long as it made you forget about everything for 90 minutes. It's like every one of their movies is uniquely funny

You know, they're not great movies, but they're enjoyable to watch. They're all so much fun. And, yeah, and, like, again, I did not know what to expect in this movie. I was a little bit nervous that we were going to go into Ninja Terminator territory, but it was...

It's just from, you know, from T to Bs, from top to bottom, this movie really just delivered. I loved it. Even though it really doesn't make any sense. Even though I couldn't tell you what the plot was, I still enjoyed it immensely. I oddly am committed to these characters, even though I don't know what their motivations or goals are. And I think that's the sign of a good screenwriter and good acting, by the way. Great acting.

Just so you guys know really quickly, Lucinda and Jordan, that's Christy and Billy, they remain friends and they became very good friends on the set. And I think that you can see them a lot on the Comic-Con circuit because they get a lot of questions about this film. Oh, funny. And Lucinda, if you want to see more of her, check out Breaking 1 and Breaking 2, which she shot in

in between these, I mean, she basically shot one, all three back to back to back. She was the canon go-to girl. Only had only a week to learn all of her martial arts. All right. That brings us to the end of this episode. A big, big episode. Jason, June, want to talk about anything? Anything you want to tell people about? Yeah. I just want to say again, thank you to all of the healthcare workers on the front line of COVID-19 who are showing up every day and

I'm just so appreciative and just a very special shout out to all of those people who are working so hard right now to help and to take care of people. And I was thinking today about all the trauma so many doctors and nurses have gone through in the last couple months. So I'm thinking about those people and people who have

who have lost loved ones. And yeah, just a special word of just sincere thanks to everyone who is out there fighting this and taking care of people who are suffering from it. That's all.

Yeah, I echo those sentiments. And I think similar to a little bit to what I said a few weeks ago, I will say one of the things that for me is helping me get through this, you know, weirdly, you know, trapped in my house kind of alone time is...

getting to talk to you guys like this for this, or I've been able to do other podcasts that are podcasts that for me are also things that I love to listen to because I love a lot of ways that I think that people are excited to hear us getting together to talk about something to take their minds off of this. There are podcasts that...

function that way for me. I was recently on an episode of Doughboys or Binge Mode or Francis Quinlan from Hop Along has a YouTube show where she interviews someone while she draws a portrait of them called Francis Quinlan Quick Drawl, a quick drawl with Francis and friends.

By the way, Jason, we had our big crossover episode last week as well, which is How Did This Get Made? Met up with How Did This Get Played? Yes, we did. And we talked about Street Fighter, the movie, the video game. So you can listen to that. If you've never listened to that show, that's our sister show with Heather Campbell and Nick Weiger. Super fun conversation with me and Jason. Really great, fun conversation. And that's what, like, Rob,

Honestly, that's what's kind of keeping me going is being able to both talk to my friends and talk to other people who I love to talk about, about the stuff that I love. But then also I've been listening to podcasts that I think are terrific that I have nothing to do with. And I'll just shout out specifically, Andy Daly has a new podcast called Bananas for Bonanza that is making me laugh, cackle laughing in my house every

Like, hilariously. And there's a podcast called The Secret History of Hollywood that...

is an amazing podcast. And one of the things that I like about it is, especially right now in this time where, you know, we have so much unfettered time at our hands, a lot of us, some of us, their episodes are, some of them are like three hours long or four hours long. And it is the season that he's just done is a deep dive into Val Luton, who is like a producer in the thirties and forties of horror movies and

was a real fixture of Hollywood in the golden age of Hollywood as a producer.

And this next season that he's about to do is all about Cary Grant, which I'm very excited about. So that is the secret history of Hollywood. And I think it's fantastic. I echo everything that you guys are saying. And my heart goes out to everyone who is going through this really challenging time. I mean, whether you are still quarantining, whether you're reopening America, I think I've talked to so many people who also are just really stressed right now. And I think the only thing I can keep on saying to everyone

People who are either alone or feeling like they're overwhelmed or whatever is to reach out to your friends because that has brought me the most joy in this. You know, whether it's a weekly phone conversation, whether it's just getting around to play a bunch of jackbox games, whatever it is, I find that like it may take a little energy and effort to get through.

to like, oh, I got to motivate to do this, but I think you'll feel so much better if you are feeling that anxiety and, you know, and it takes your mind off of everything that is kind of going on. I also want to recommend that, you know, if you love your small businesses, support them, whatever they are. And that's one of the reasons I did this show for Marvel called Marvel Presents the World's Greatest Book Club, which we're bringing attention to local comic book shops. And Jason's on this week's episode. We go into a very deep dive of comic book shops and we're

and you don't have to be a comic fan to listen to the show. It's kind of just like a book club where we recommend great books for you to check out. And what we've been doing in the last couple of weeks is actually talking to store owners. Uh, and we've got some great, uh, interviews with like store owners all around the country. So that's been really fun for me. And as always, I continue to give a daily movie pick on this community app thing that I'm on where you can text me and I'll text you a movie pick every day. Uh,

and it's 9 1 7 8 7 7 0 6 5 7. Uh, that's all I got a big thank you to, uh,

Cody, our producer, and Devin, our engineer, who are both working their butts off at Earwolf right now, just killing it to make all these shows go out the door. July Diaz, who is the unsung hero of this mix. Molly Reynolds, who helps put these shows together in a lot of big ways. And then, of course, Averill Halley for finding the films. Nick Kiley for doing all the research.

the ghost of Craig T. Nelson for all his amazing Photoshop's follow him on Instagram. And of course, Kyle Waldron for doing great Photoshop CC popping up on our Instagram and Facebook and Twitter on how did this get made? So thank you all for listening. See you next time. Bye for now.

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