Matinee Monday: Street Fighter (w/ John Gemberling)
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bas.com slash bonkers and use the code bonkers at checkout. Finally, a video game adaptation that stays true to the video game, which means it has absolutely no plot. We saw Street Fighter, so you know what that means. Now it's time for...

Hello, people.

People of Earth, and welcome to another episode of How Did This Get Made? I am Paul Scheer, joined as always by my two co-hosts. Please welcome June Diane Rayfield. How are you, June? Good, how are you? Very good. And also Jason Manzoukas. How are you, Jason? Ah, Paul, pretty good. Thank you. We have a very special guest on the show today, a super funny guy. You will see him in the upcoming new season of

She heart, she holler. Please welcome John Gemberling. Hi, thank you. I'm very excited to have you on the show. Very excited to be here. Talk about this. This movie, I never saw this movie, Street Fighter. The Jean-Claude Van Damme classic with Raoul Julia, who was dying of horrible stomach cancer throughout this film. I mean, is this his final movie? Final movie. That is depressing. Yeah. That's really sad. But gives a good performance. Yeah.

Did you see at the end of the movie it says for Raul Vaya con Dios? Vaya con Dios, yeah. It's what comes up like directly after the last shot for the credits. Vaya con Dios. I will say in doing some research for this movie,

You know, I was like looking around online. There's a lot of like making of Street Fighter the movie. And, you know, they have like – there's a big fight scene obviously between Jean-Claude Van Damme and Raul Julia. The fight that everyone's been wanting to see. These two people face off. These two titans of physical – Not since Ben Gazzara and Patrick Swayze has there been –

A fight scene that you really got to get in the mix of. But they had all these fight scenes and you see like Jean-Claude in his outfit and Raul Julia is in a beautiful bathrobe with like a neckerchief. And it's like he's rehearsing these fight scenes in a neckerchief and bathrobe. I was like...

classy motherfucker ladies. Wait, so those were his rehearsal outfits? It was his rehearsal outfits. That's his civilian clothes. It was not his character's clothes because they are not the same thing. But it wasn't the wardrobe from his seduction scene? No, it was in the final scene. It was a white bathrobe with this beautiful folded over. He was a classy, classy guy. This movie...

Man, I couldn't figure this thing out at all. I mean... Could not make heads or tails of... I didn't understand who was who. I didn't understand... Did you guys play the video game? No. I mean, I played it in the arcade, but I didn't, like, I mean, does it follow anything? I mean, I didn't think that the... This is a video game where two people just fight. Street Fighter is like a button smasher, right? Yeah, there's not like a... But I gotta ask, though, John, it's because you've played the video game. So who in the video game is a Street Fighter? Street Fighter.

Well, they're all street fighters. Yeah, they're all street fighters. Even though... I love the way you just said, who in the video game is a street fighter? So who is such a nunciation? Okay, but...

Jean-Claude Van Damme is not a street fighter. Oh, well, yeah. And the two guys, that's what I'm saying, in the movie version of it, who are we to look to to say, like, this is a street fighter. Oh, the boxer and the sumo wrestler. You know, like, the cage fighting ring? The guy with the spikes on his things? Yeah, Vega. Okay, but the Jean-Claude Van Damme character, our hero, is not a street fighter? I guess no. No. No.

But he's capable of it. He's capable of hand-to-hand combat. Is he also in the video games, that character? Yes. Guile. And he is, I think he's in the Air Force, though. He's not in the AN. Well, the AN, which is clearly the United Nations did not want their name on this. They're like, the Allied Nations, the Allied Nations. And they couldn't be in the Air Force either. Yeah, we're not getting behind. And Van Damme, isn't he a colonel? He's a colonel. Yes. Yes. Would a colonel be like running an entire operation in a country? No.

to be the most important military figure in the world. And by the way, I was kind of shocked at one point in the movie because I did not get that he was this whole A.N. thing, but at a certain point he takes off the jacket and you reveal this big American flag on his body. I was like, oh, you're American? You're fighting in this allied nation. You don't have to be American. You could be a French Foreign Legion. You could be anything. You don't have to be an American. That was such a weird choice. And being that he is himself American,

Not American. Yes. And cannot speak with an American accent. So weird. And the sentiment is like, it's America versus Shadaloo. Yeah. A small Indonesian country where the main plan, I guess, is that Raul Julia. I want someone to take a stab at the plot. This is what I get. I'm just going to sit back and listen to this. So Raul Julia captured about 60 tourists.

No, I thought they were AN workers. I think they were AN workers. Oh, okay. So he got some workers, and then he's holding them hostage for $20 billion. Which is a comical amount. So that he can build his own... Bisonopolis. Bisonopolis, thank you. Right, a fake city architecturally that's designed to look like his logo.

And where one of the main features is the food court that the major food chains can buy into. Yes, which he was very concerned because they're all going to want to get in. They're all going to want to get in. And so what does he want to happen there?

I don't know. Yeah, the Bisonopolis doesn't seem like, it seems like that's a very benign goal. It doesn't seem like he's going to launch terror attacks. It just seems like he'd like to build a giant mall. Well, he wanted the Pax Bisoni or whatever, whatever every despot wants to conquer so much that they can bring peace. Yes, exactly. Oh, I did not get that. So, wait, I'm sorry. You have to say that again a little bit. Say that again, John. So he's actually fighting for good? Yeah.

Well, you know that despotic thing of like, I'm going to take over everything so then I can bring peace. So then I'll rule everything and then it'll be peaceful. I do know that thing. I do know it. I do know it. That's what he said, but he's a megalomaniac. Right. So, yes. Okay. So that's the idea that we're not – he's saying that, but we might suspect otherwise. Yeah.

we might suspect yeah I mean he's like a mass murderer he's like Idi Amin yeah exactly he's a so-called cuckoo bananas person which by the way by the way one of the themes of the movie and sorry to interrupt Bob but this is why I bring it up is because I did feel that there was a theme emerging of like the lines between good and evil are not as distinct as we think they are well wait a second what well I think

That was one of the themes of the movie. I don't know. I think it's pretty clear who's good and who's bad. No, it's not. He's actually one of our street fighters. Zangief. Zangief was too stupid to understand even how to do a thumbs up properly. Right, but also. Oh, wait, that's what it was? Yeah, because he gives a side thumbs up and then they turn it. By the way, that guy, he's amazing. And he delivers on every level. Oh, wait, Zangief is in Wreck-It Ralph.

Oh, yes. Yes. That's where I know that character from. His other acting job in Wreck-It Ralph. I'm just kidding. The cartoon character. The other... One of the other guys. Again, I don't know who they were. I don't know how they relate to the story. What did they wear? Okay, so they were the guys, the Asian guy and his buddy. Okay, the Kung Fu... The gi-wearing guy. Ken and Ryu. Okay, so... Who, by the way, I thought had a very...

sexualized relationship. Really? I thought there was a little connection between like... You're always looking for gay stuff in the movies. Hey, look, I like it. I like these guys really getting together. I thought that they played off that a little bit, but go ahead. I will get back to that. I didn't see that, but Ken did say that he...

he didn't know which way he was going to go, if he was going to be a good guy or a bad guy. Right. And then when the monster was being created, he was supposed to be created for evil, but then there was a moment of like, well, how does he know what's evil and what's good? Right. So anyway, I did think that that was one of the,

themes of the movie. So there's a blurring line of who's good and who's evil for the very stupid, for the genetically enhanced. Yeah. I felt like they were creating the monster, which is just the Incredible Hulk.

Oh, by the way, why does he need to be green? Why does he need to be green? Blanka is green. Blanka in the game is green. Oh, all right. I love that all of our indignation is instantly... I'm so, by the way, so glad you know all of this. Because if you didn't, we would just be here being like, why is he green? And the message boards would just be like, have you not seen the game? How do you not play the game? How do you not know who Ryu is? Are you fucking kidding me?

But see, it doesn't totally justify it because I feel like if you're going to, if we're going to see the scene in which he becomes that character, then I do want to understand a little bit. Like I know his muscles are expanding, but I don't still understand why he's green. He became green. We became green with all the anger. Oh,

Well, clearly they were pumping some sort of chemical in his body as they had these comically large bags. It was like enhanced DNA, like the way that you would kind of put water in a bag at a hospital or something like that. Like a saline drip. Saline drip. But as he was expanding, he was also being brainwashed by these images of...

Like Clockwork R in style. And I love, by the way, that there was a totally pre-prepared, pre-edited good imagery to be piped in. But here's what that was. Here's what the good imagery was. Wait a second. It was a wedding. It was a wedding. A black wedding. A black wedding. It was two weddings. First a regular wedding with white people, then a black wedding. And then Martin Luther King Jr. doing the I Have a Dream speech. Yep. Wait, but then there's... And dolphins. That was it. I was like, dolphins? Yes. What is that?

this now? That represents all that is good. A African American wedding, I have a dream, and dolphins. And a white wedding. And a white wedding. And that will just even you out. That will take the edge off the violence in Vietnam, Hitler references, and... That shit, when they showed the good stuff, my mind exploded when it was white wedding followed by black wedding.

Did you take issue with that? I was like, what is going on? You don't think that is the good stuff? I genuinely was like, why are we letting them marry? Wait, what? No, I really was like, this is the craziest package of happy things to show people. White wedding, black wedding, Martin Luther King, dolphins. It felt like the guy who had to edit it had to do it very quickly. He was like, I don't know how to work final cut. This will do. These three things are fine.

He was already in the stock images folder for Wedding. Oh, my God. So he was just like, oh, let's use both of these. So basically, there's three days until Bison is going to take over the world. And kill the hostage. So who is he asking for the $20 billion? The A.N.? From London, right? Well, at the end, the A.N. has agreed to pay it. So I guess it's their authorization. Oh, okay. Yeah.

But the guy has a British accent, which is why I think it's a little confusing. Because didn't he say that the British pound was going to go up? Like, Bison's also created his fake money from Bisonopolis, kind of like Disney. Well, his next plan is to kidnap the queen and force them to adjust the monetary rate so that his Bison credit is five times more.

worth five times more than the past. I got confused. That's the sequel. That's over here. That's the sequel. That's over here. Which, by the way, is set up in a brilliant post-credit sequence. I didn't watch it. Oh, well, in the end of the movie, you know, the whole castle, spoiler alert, blows up that Bison lives in and then all of a sudden his body is rebooting online. It's like, Commander Bison, what would you like to do? And it's like, world domination, replay,

See, I thought that the sequel, not having seen any of the sequels, was going to be the monster character. Blanca. Yes. Coming back like an Incredible Hulk style. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Well, that was strange. How much do we jump around? Oh, we know. We know. Yeah, we could. I feel like this movie. Oh, I. Yeah, we could jump around. Yeah, yeah. I literally don't know what the fuck is happening. Get in wherever you can. Yeah, jump wherever you can. Well, that was strange that the Indian guy, Dasim. Yes. And Blanca just decided. How did you guys remember these names? Because they're characters from the video game. Okay, fine.

I didn't know what was happening. They decided to die or they decided, they're like, we're staying, but they were staying in a place that was blowing up. I thought they were saying like, we can't go with you and live your life. I have a plan. We're going to go and do our thing, figure out our lives and we'll get back to you. It seemed like they were saying we're staying. No, it was a suicide mission. Oh, wow. The bloke was Charlie. Yeah. Right.

Which it took me a little beat to figure that out. I couldn't figure that out at all. And that's not a true thing that happened in the video game. That's not Guile's friend. Well, just even before that happens, I have to remind us of the moment where Jean-Claude sees Blanca for the first time and within seconds decides to kill him. This is a movie for children. PG-13.

Oh, okay. Then that's a little... But still... By the way, when Jean-Claude talks about it, he's like, I'm very excited to make a child. He basically is like, I'm going to put you out of your misery by putting a bullet in your head. With you staring at me. Blanca can still speak and still reason. Yes. Recognizes him. I mean, none of this is adding up to mercy kill time.

He's a little bit deformed. Hey, not yet. Right. Not yet. By the way, the way that Charlie is chosen to become Blanca is- Oh my God, this is so crazy. Basically, like, Jean-Claude Van Damme takes over control of a newscast, and he's young at Bison. Like, hey, Bison. We're coming for you. And he does a wrestling kind of slam where you put your elbow into the palm of your hand. Like, ooh!

I'll give you a little of that. Like, all right. Like it was all because he became like a wrestling ad. And then in the middle of this, like threatening bites, he's like, and Charlie, I'm coming for you, man. Don't worry about it. I'm going to get you back. Like what, why would you reveal anything that you knew? Like, why would you reveal that information? He's the worst soldier. You're putting, you're putting the hostage at way more risk.

And by the way, it just happens that Charlie happened to be standing right there on the, as they were kind of like checking out the terror. And his name is Carlos. Oh, Carlos. Right? No, it's Charlie. It was Carlos. They called him Carlos, but I think Charlie is his nickname. Charlie's his nickname. Yeah. And Blanca? Because that was the thing. He was like, Charlie, don't worry. We're going to come and get you, Charlie. And then Raul Julia walks up to him and takes out his dog tag and goes, Carlos whatever. Yeah.

Charlie. And I was like, what? No, that's not right at all. His name is Carlos.

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By the way, more than ever, this is a movie that introduces a show.

shitload of characters so quickly. You're like, oh, what, what? Okay, and then they're all lying about what they're doing. Like, a lot of them are like, you don't know. Well, they're all secret street fighters. That's the thing, right? Well, some are arms dealers. I mean, Ryu and Ken are arms dealers who deal... But they're street fighters. Yeah, I guess... Guys, I'm going to ask a really dumb question. But, yes, I was going to say, I just like that they're, by the way, Ken and Ryu's thing is that they deal toy guns? Like, that's their plan? Yeah, they're tennis ball guns. Well, that's how...

Okay.

Yeah. But that's their plan? That's their scheme? It's really bad. They create these elaborate looking guns that... Where the barrels are the size of tennis balls. Yeah. To me, it's like, just create a realistic looking gun. You don't have to provide the tennis balls for the... Or you don't have any guns at all. If the plan is go to the pier and get our guns, just have nothing there. I mean, just be lying. Yeah, why do you have to go... Why do you have to manufacture the fake guns? And then they were holding them at gunpoint and they were afraid like they were really having guns pointed at them. Well, those tennis balls come out pretty quick.

Quick question, and I may be revealing too much about myself, but what exactly, and I know you, I think you answered it a couple minutes ago, but what exactly is a street fighter? Okay, so like, there's a... It's like underground...

It's like underground fighting. What exactly is a street fighter? Did you ever see Bloodsport? That's like a legitimate sort of underground fighting. Van Damme was also in that. It's like Fight Club, but it's like Fight Club. It's like underground fighting. It's like dog fighting with humans.

So when they're in the cage, that is street fighting when they're in the cage. Yeah, I mean, I guess you'd call it cage fighting, but... I mean, yeah, street fighting is sort of like... Remember when we saw the Mike Tyson show? He said that he would do street fighting. He would beat up 30-year-old men in the street. People would get paid money. Great. So was the woman, the Asian woman... Chun-Li. Chun-Li. Now, is she a street fighter? No.

I guess I just want to get a real hand up. In the video game, they're all street fighters. Right. Well, in the video game, you would argue there's no other plot besides the fact that you pick a character and then you fight with them. Well, except that there is an expanded universe. I mean, there are cartoons of this and stuff that's come out over the years. So I actually looked up Shadaloo, and it's not a country. In the game, it's Bison's organization. Right.

So I don't know why they called it the country Shadaloo. Oh, okay. So this is just more of a, so that's his evil thing. So basically what it is is, I mean, the game is a fighting game and they just populate it with all these characters who have different fighting styles, you know? Like Mortal Kombat was like that too. There's a boxer. There's a, there's Kung Fu guys. There's a ninja. Like Chun-Li used to do

cool thing with her leg. I guess here's my problem. She had a speed kick. Yeah. John, here's my problem with it, though. Those types of fighting, though, would they normally be found on the street? No, see, this is what I'm talking about.

Well, in the game, most of the locations are outdoors. Some of them are streets. I know in the game, but I guess what I'm saying is... The movie is not trying to document an actual thing that exists. Right. The movie is trying to approximate a video game. Well, the movie is also... Hold on. I'm asking about the video game. The movie is also not good. It's not a good representation of Street Fighter. Oh, it's not? It's not.

It's as if... I'm just kidding. They took the characters and they basically took the characters and populated a world in a very different way. It's as if the writer of the movie was like you guys and somebody handed him a list of here are the characters in this movie, here's what they look like, and you're just allowed to just...

Just put them in whatever roles you want. My questions were like, well, I see a guy in boxing gloves. Well, that seems like that's for the indoors and not for the streets. I'm genuinely, but whatever. You're talking about Balrog, right? Yeah, Balrog. His level in the video game is actually, it's on the red carpet, I think, outside of a boxing match on the street. So he does fight on the street in the game.

Now, I will say that Stephen D'Souza, the writer-director of this movie, did not want to make a generic martial arts movie after the disaster of Super Mario Brothers. And he described the film as a cross between Star Wars, James Bond, and a war film.

And he didn't want to shoehorn in elements. Wait, Star Wars and a war film? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, of course. Because there's no similarities there. And he didn't want to shoehorn in elements of the games. But I would argue. I'm sorry. He said he did not want to shoehorn in elements of the games. Yes. He said he avoided the supernatural elements and powers. John, are you okay? John?

Well, I just... I would say that they are incredibly shoehorned at certain points. All the characters are shoehorned. An oil drum says Capcom on the top at one point. Yes, the magic act part, yeah. Signature moves and phrases are essentially shoehorned in there.

Well, yeah, it's incredibly shoehorned. The whole movie, I mean, yeah, it is incredibly shoehorned. I would argue also like Chun-Li is our way in. I mean, she's the fearless reporter who we find out has just gotten into reporting because she needed to do research on Bison. To get close to him so she could kill him. Yes. Because he killed her father. And she gives a very dramatic monologue about how Bison came into her town and

Oh, this was actually, I liked this interaction. A very long monologue. And, you know, she killed her father and family and everybody in her village. And, you know, does anyone remember the exact quote? Well, she says something along the lines of, like, you remember. He says, what was the day that you will never forget? Or something like that. The most important day of your life to me. The day that Bison came into your life.

He says something

something along the lines of like what was the worst day of your life was Tuesday for me was a Tuesday pretty great line because she can't because she can't believe she's telling him you killed my father do you remember blah blah blah and he basically is like I have no recollection of the story you're telling me oh here it is here it is it goes you and your bullies were driven back by farmers with pitchforks my father saved his village at the cost of his own life you had him shot as you ran away a hero at a thousand paces

And then Bison says, I'm sorry. I don't remember any of it. Then Chun-Li says, you don't remember? Then Bison says, for you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was a Tuesday. So he remembers what day it was. Yes, yeah. Was that true to the game? Did he kill him on a Tuesday? Yeah.

I don't know. All the street fights took place on a Tuesday in the game. Yes, of course. Well, I love that character for a couple of reasons. Chun-Li, when she goes undercover, it's in the middle of the day and she puts on an all black ninja suit. But it's in the middle of the day. And she's trying to follow a homing beacon. And she follows the homing beacon to another homing beacon. Yes.

There is a line. There is literally a line. There's a prison break and the prisoners get on a truck and they drive out of the city. Yes. They decide to do their prison break in the middle of the base. Which was a weird thing. Like, why don't you wait until the truck gets out of the prison base? And why were they transporting Sagat with all of his men?

Yes, together. Well, that was because to get a prison break to happen. That was on purpose. Right. Because that's the fake. That's the Jean-Claude Van Damme shooting scene. That's the fake out so that they can get their guys, their spies in. Anyway, whatever. Prison break. But was Jean-Claude Van Damme expecting them to break out of the prison or did he just want them to think that? Okay, okay.

What he wanted was for them. Yeah, what he wanted was for. No, I know that, but I thought he just wanted to ingratiate those two with the eyepatch guy. He did, but. I didn't know that they had to break out of the prison. Yes, because basically then he's got guys within the working organization, not just in with them in prison. And it would lead them to Bison. Yeah, which they do. Which is a great plot point, but here's where I'm confused. Wait, I just want to say this one line. So what's her name? Chun-Li? Chun-Li.

throws a homing beacon on the thing and then she says to her guys okay well we're probably not we gotta find them because we're probably not the only people who put a homing beacon on that truck and I was like what? you're probably not? what the fuck are you talking about? you're 100% the only person who threw a homing beacon onto that truck that was not

a normal thing well Ken and Ryu had a homing beacon also Ken and Ryu did it too yeah cause they need to track oh I see what you're saying they're in the van and they're like we're getting interference is it the wind or whatever and they're like no it's too constant it must be another homing beacon and

We're probably not the only people that put a homing beacon on that truck. I don't know. That just made me laugh. Well, but by the way, there's no reason why they should know it because to the world, it was a prison break. So why would someone else be putting a beacon on that truck? I think she put it together. Oh, yeah. Well, but now here's my – this is where I'm confused. Okay.

Because when she does follow that homing beacon, we said Jean-Claude Van Damme fakes his death. She's like sneaking around in this room and there's Jean-Claude Van Damme. The morgue. Okay, how do you know it's the morgue? Oh, because there's a different color. There's a skeleton. And body parts in

different colors of water. It is like the most lame, like the props for this were preposterous. It's the first time I noticed set design go, that was bad. It looks like it's like a science class and it is a morgue. Or a laboratory. There was a guy actually dissecting a frog. Yeah, exactly. But so she goes into the morgue where it's a very...

sparse morgue, only where one body is there. And there's Jean-Claude Van Damme's body. And then he pops up and he's like, hey, yeah, I'm not dead. I wore this comical blood pack thing. Which...

By the way, so was he just waiting in the morgue? Yeah, so wait a minute. Under a blanket. Yeah, he got shot. Yes. Then she throws a homing beacon. Yes. Then we have the scene where they are in the van determining that there's another homing beacon. In which she's turning into a ninja. Yeah. She hops out. She does a crawl through. You know, I think there was another scene in there. It's been like probably an hour. Oh, at the least. At least.

He's just lying on the slab the whole time. By the way, when John Claude does get shot, the medical team runs over to him. And immediately a guy puts on a little briefcase that has a big cross on it. And then another guy comes over with a big tarp and just covers him. Like, yeah, he's dead. There was no resuscitation. I mean, so were they in on it? I don't know. Maybe. But still. But there's also a million tourists, for some reason, taking pictures.

Because he's also kind of a celebrity, Colonel, right? Well, yeah, because he does those WWF shout-outs all the time to Bison. Well, that's what was unclear, is how they were acting as if this was a global crisis. But really it feels like just a local warlord thing. Like, yeah, like it's something that happened in Myanmar or something. It's a very small... So now, what was the relationship between... I just want to talk about him being in the... So he's in there, like... So 40 minutes, easily 40 minutes passes...

And he's just lying there? Yeah. Still, like a corpse. He's in his role as a corpse. Well, and the homing beacon thing led them there. Sorry. So his homing beacon thing, he's like put my homing beacon receptor in the morgue next to me. No, that's that big machine with the rotating satellite dish that says homing beacon. I was like, is this for fucking real? What?

what the fuck is this nonsense? And here's the thing. The minute he's... So he basically has faked his own death and set up this whole thing to ingratiate his spies with the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, the minute he gets brought back in, he should be up and in motion. He should be... Where are they going? What's going on? Let's follow the signal. He is...

lying under a sheet in the morgue pretending to be in an empty room. In an empty room. He's in an empty room. He doesn't have to act that for anybody. He's in an empty room. He's going full GDL, Daniel Day-Lewis on it. He's going full method. If she had not shown up, what would he have done? What would he have done?

Well, his cohorts, Kylie Minogue and the gang, do show up. That was Kylie Minogue? Yes. Oh, I didn't know. Yeah, they show up a couple of seconds after, what's her name? Chun-Li. Chun-Li. So I think, I hope, I hope that he was waiting for them.

To get up. But nobody seems surprised that he's, like, the guard that shows up. Well, no, we never see the moment. And that's the weird thing about the movie is that we never see that moment of, like, people in the streets or anyone realizing, or his own army realizing, like, oh, he's alive. Yeah, when he's back in action, nope, doesn't matter. Nobody's like...

Nobody's phased. Oh, I just got a question, too. What were they trying to stop? There was never a threat. He didn't say, I'm going to launch missiles. Nope. I'm going to blow something up. He's going to kill the hostages. The hostages. But that's it? Didn't he have the doomsday device, too? Worst case scenario, you've got 60 dead UN workers and a dictator in charge of a small country. That's it. But it's not great. No.

I mean, I don't. You don't think they should have gone in there? But it just seems like this guy is like, this guy's in a fucking palace. Are we talking about Iraq? Guys, are we talking about Iraq? I mean, it's not great. This is clearly an allegory for the first Gulf War. I don't know.

One thing about this movie that I kept on thinking was, this movie is racist. I just can't understand what country they're making, what they're saying. It's definitely stereotypical, but I just don't understand what country they're being stereotypical of. Well, Shadaloo... Shadaloo. Who were the...

who were the Chattelouise Chattelouise and that that you're absolutely right that's a big flaw in the movie is that we don't know who we're supposed to be caring about like who are we protecting we don't know any of the hostages aside from Charlie the

Charlie. And we barely know him. And by the way, when they're escaping, they look like tourists. That's why I said they were tourists. They're wearing – they have comical cameras and feather hats. So we have no – as audience members, we have no interest. And that's why I think you think that saving 60 hostages is not a big deal when in fact it is. But it's because we don't know these people. Well, I mean it feels like a Thailand-like country. But I want to bring up this specific one.

when Balrog and E. Honda are getting essentially tortured. How could you remember these? I know all these. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know all this stuff. First of all, can you help those of us who... E. Honda's the sumo wrestler. The sumo wrestler and the boxer. Sumo wrestler who in the game is Japanese for some reason and this is Hawaiian. And every time he's there...

Well, every time he gets whipped, he's calm and like a... It's a little Hawaiian lily. They whip him like it's a scene from Passion of the Christ. Oh, yeah. And then later on in the movie when he takes off his shirt, you see those whip marks on his back. But the guy who's whipping him is a fat white guy or European... Yes. Like...

Yeah, he's very Nordic looking. And when he starts whipping him, he says, this is how we treat foreigners in Shadaloo. So he's a native of Shadaloo. Okay, wait a second. I couldn't tell who the natives of Shadaloo were at all. You see, I almost thought that Shadaloo was this, almost like the way that Dr. Doom and- Latveria? Yeah, that's like, I kind of thought this was his land, and he was just kind of building this new mall, and he needed some money to build the new mall in a place that he already owned, and it was a place where expats could come in and do whatever. In my mind, that's the kind of what he did. Really?

That's how I put it together. Sounds like a dream. I couldn't figure out. Giant food court. That made it really hard because nobody had a country of origin that made sense for what they were doing. No. Because Jean-Claude Van Damme is an American military leader? Yes. No. Raul Julia is an American leader, dictator of a foreign country? That doesn't make sense to me. Because he's also kind of...

He doesn't seem ultimately foreign either. Wait a second. You're saying Raul Julia was American? No, but he didn't have an accent, really. I'm not saying he was American, but he was not foreign in any way. He was not a native of Shadaloo. I don't know.

I don't know. Shadaluya. I think he was. He was a Shadaluyan? I think he was a Shadaluyan. Ah, boy. All right. I think he was, too, but you're right. Then is his Jamaican right-hand man Shadaluyan? No, he's definitely Jamaican. He's Jamaican because he wants to get back to Jamaican. Oh, sorry. Fuck that.

I don't get this movie at all. Two of my favorite lines are when Jean-Claude Van Damme says to a press conference, the war is canceled. Oh, yes. He says, oh, the war is canceled. I have this clip if you want to hear. Oh, yeah, please. I definitely want to hear. This is an amazing clip. Here we go. The war is canceled. I just received new orders. It's a little long. Our superiors say the war is canceled. We can all go home.

I'm keeping it long because... My son is getting paid off for his crimes. And our friends who have died here will have died for nothing. This character is American. But we can all go home. The good recurring theme. Meanwhile, ideals like peace, freedom, and justice, they get packed up. But we can all go home. He's bringing it back. He's coming to the best part. Well, I'm not going home. I'm going to get on my boat, and I'm going upriver...

And I'm going to kick that son of a bitch Bison's ass so hard that the next Bison wannabe is gonna feel it. Now, who wants to go home? And who wants to go with me? Yeah.

Now that is the rousing, that is the Patton moment of this movie. Beautifully scripted speech. I actually like that speech and I thought it was delivered well. It's not the worst speech. I don't think it's the worst speech. I didn't think he delivered it poorly. I don't think so either. I like it. I just do like that he breaks out and Jason disagreeing. Guys, what the fuck are you talking about?

John fell out. I mean, what is going on? John is holding onto his head. Oh my God. He, I think that there, that was a terribly written speech delivered like garbage. That,

That was gone. Gone. What just happened was a war crime. And while he's delivering the speech, we're panning around the soldiers, and they're nodding knowingly, and it's like as if we love these characters. It's like, this is what this guy thinks. We don't know these people. This whole movie treats all the characters like they're classics that we love just because they're two-dimensional video game characters. Cool.

Jason, I will say, I didn't feel this speech was as stirring when I watched it. Maybe because of all the cutaways to the extras, but listening to it now. What are you doing? I did like it better. Thank you, John. There is a rhythm to it that I like. Can we play the scene where someone questions Jean-Claude Van Damme about his decision here? This is the next scene right after that. Here we go.

Colonel. Yes? A single boat against everything he's got? The pilot would have to be out of his mind. Luckily, Dyson has driven me crazy.

So I'm going to do it. Synchronize your watches. 0500. Gas tough at 0600. I just love that you have to be out of your mind. Luckily, I am out of my mind. Not only that, but there are full stop pauses between every word both of those characters are saying. Oh my God. Guys, guys, guys. And synchronize your watches so everybody just come on their own. Guys, we're talking about the writing.

You know what this guy wrote? This is Steven D'Souza. He wrote Die Hard. No. Yes. No. He wrote 48 Hours. No. He wrote Commando. No. Jumping Jack Flash. I don't think you're right. No, no, no. Yes. And then it goes down. It's a different D'Souza. But now it goes downhill. Another 48 Hours. Okay. Die Hard 2. Hudson Hawk. The Flintstones. Beverly Hills Cop 3. Judge Dredd.

Street Fighter. Oh, boy. Lara Croft Tomb Raider. And then he kind of stopped after that. But there was a period where he was... On fire. On fire. Die Hard is an amazing script. I mean, just in terms of story, it's so, so good. Basically, from 1990 forward, things go downhill for Stephen D'Souza. Wow. Well, yeah. Francis Ford Coppola did Jack, so...

True. So it's possible.

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Can I bring up the boat ride? Oh, yes, please. Van Damme's boat ride to the attack. By the way, the boat ride had to be written in last minute because the people of Thailand did not want an air attack. He was supposed to fly in as an Air Force pilot, but they needed to transform it to a boat because Thailand's like, no, no, no, you can't do stuff in the air. Well, that's funny. So that's why he wasn't in the Air Force in this. Right. Oh.

So his stated plan is, I'm going to go up the east bank and cause a distraction while the whole force comes in. Okay, I see. That's what he said in the briefing. And then first...

His tape. He puts a tape in. What the fuck was this? He puts a whole movie tape in. He puts like a beta tape. He literally loads a beta tape into a video screen in his boat that I believe he is driving. Yo, he's definitely driving that boat. And he watches...

Home movies in the boat. Of him and Charlie. By the way, he was shooting it because it was like a scene where they're at a bar. It was not like a home video. I thought that

that they were like at an outside cafe. But who's taping, who's making home videos that have like what people are eating in it? And also, I thought this is the video where we see who his loved one was that Bison hurt. Exactly. Because he says to Chun-Li, this isn't about your vengeance and then in an aside, it's about mine. We never learned what his vengeance is. I believe it's Charlie. I think it is Charlie. The video, it's just Charlie. I think it's a love story between him and Charlie. Yeah, I agree because

That is, I think you could look at that early scene between him and Bison when he's on the news, when he calls out Charlie and say that, okay, he knew Bison had Charlie early on. And that was his motivation the entire time. But they give the sense that he and Bison have been locked in like a gentleman's warrior. Hatfield and McCoy kind of feud. Right? I mean, they always talk about meeting each other on the battlefield. Yeah.

No. Who knows? I feel like there's a lot of things that were... Who fucking knows? I also like that at one point the bad guys are all talking and something happens and then the guy gets up and just goes, this conclave is over! Well, you could argue too, though. And I was like, that's an amazing line. Well, there's amazing lines. There's a few amazing lines. This is one I wrote down.

I'm the repo man, and you're out of business. Great. Yep. That's not what the repo man does. Yeah, that is not... The repo man just takes his property back from you. By the way, when he... I'm sorry to go back to the tape again, but when he puts in that tape, you could actually argue that it shows his relationship with Charlie is not strong at all because he's going to save Charlie and a ton of other people. He should just be able to go save him and...

you know, do that out of his love and what's in his heart for this man. He shouldn't have to watch a videotape to sort of pump him up to keep on going. His reasons for watching that tape at that moment are very, I don't know. What are the reasons? I think it's just to remind us what the stakes are for him. It's about saving his best bro. Just to remind us.

I'm sorry to go back to another line, but I just feel like it needs to be said. Another character at one point goes, I like my games live and in living color. Yeah, Sagat says that. Again, not really. It's another weird line. Not a clever line. The cleverest line in the movie, in my opinion, was when Chun-Li spits and they say, hey.

You're going to dehydrate yourself. I thought that was a good line. There's also a great line when the big Ophi guy says, when they're watching on TV, the whole news team is about to attack them during the whole celebration. He's like, change the channel. He delivers those lines so beautifully. Well, basically, Chun-Li's plan was to record a live newscast of her

setting a bomb that would be running into their village. Now, meanwhile, she did not alert them to this newscast. It would have succeeded. Yes, but instead she decided to out herself moments before the truck loaded with... Wait, how about the craziness of that scene is that Bison has captured everybody, everybody's been captured, it's like a big room and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and there's lots of hubbub, hubbub, and then there's a moment of quiet and you can hear Chun-Li's voice...

Being like, this is Chun-Li reporting from blah, blah, blah. And they literally, everybody in the room stops, goes over, opens a door to a different room where there's a television on. Well, there's a lot. I mean, there's a lot. What the fuck is that about? Why is that the delivery system? It was a delicate plan to just hope there was a lull in the conversation. Holy shit, that was so crazy. Well, I mean, that scene, that whole scene, that...

Coming off of Chun-Li escapes from her ninja thing. Yes. When she finds Jean-Claude in the thing. The very next scene, she's in costume with her guys. They're all in costume. They've infiltrated Bison's place. And you would not know it. June and I did not know. June's like, oh, there's Chun-Li. And I'm like, she was right. They've choreographed. Yeah, there's no way to show. Wait, how is she there? They've got a performance that they've prepared. Oh, yeah, that's right. I couldn't figure that out at all. I think those must have been deleted scenes.

I think they must have shot that and didn't include it. This conclave is over! Well, then, I love that scene. Sagat has brought... They brought the weapons, right? Yes. I don't know where they got the weapons because the other weapons shot tennis balls. Is Sagat the eyepatch guy? Yeah. And they're all passing... They're all impressed with the...

They all pass around this one gun. Every bad guy character holds the gun, cocks it, slaps it, looks down the barrel, caresses it. They pass around this gun, determine it's great. And then Bison leans over to Sagat and goes, basically, hey, instead of money, you want part of the country? Why would he offer him a part of the country? They've got a deal for money. Why do you want to give him the country? Why would you give him that much power? Right.

Why would you? It was nonsense. Yeah, I think he's full of a lot of false promises. I mean, again, it just goes to the fact that someone did not figure out what were the stakes of the movie. There was a lot. It was a lot of characters going in here. It was gobbledygook. So many characters. Sandra Van Oakley, right? Or Oaker, right? That's a real person. That's a real CNN correspondent who shot a cameo for this movie on a view screen. That's crazy.

kind of bummed that there wasn't a real love story in the movie between Van Damme and one of those ladies. Well, I think Kylie Minogue was supposed to be that, right? Well, it wasn't explored. No, he says... It's Chun-Li at the end. It's Chun-Li because he says he'd like to, like, she's his type or something like that. Wear this outfit when we do the interview. Yeah. There was some... And he walks around her and then delivers that line. But Kylie Minogue in...

First of all, why is she wearing a turtleneck under her uniform the entire time? She's wearing a bright blue turtleneck under it. But she starts to cry when she thinks... Yeah. Again, I don't know video games, but is that stuff explored at all? In the video game. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. In the video game, there's a whole love level. Okay, you guys are kidding me. So in the video game, he doesn't have a love interest. Okay.

I would argue that Ken and Ryu are more the main characters of the video game universe than Guile. That's what I would say, too, in my limited knowledge of just playing it at video game places when I was a kid. I liked that game.

When you were a kid, as we've established, in your 20s. Early 20s. When you were a kid seeing the Spice Girls movie and going to the arcade. Exactly. When I'm like that young, young 26 at the video arcade just button smashing. Um...

Man, I'm just trying to think of... I also thought there's very little fighting in this movie. Very little. Very little. Like, right? For a movie that is called Street Fighter, and you would want to... I wanted to see a lot more one-on-one fights. And even, like, when... Oh, now I'm forgetting his name. The big fat guy. E. Honda. E. Honda attacks Zangief. A lot of it was just a lot of, like, I'm going to jump on you. Like, it wasn't even, like...

I mean, and finally, like, Raul, Julia, and Guile have a little bit of a fight. And there's no, they don't have any of, like, the powers that in the game. In the game, some of these people have, like, secret moves that you can throw fireballs, right? Isn't that the game? Or is that the Immortal Kombat? No, no, that's true. Okay. Ryu shoots fireballs at, right? Or that's Cammy, yeah. They both do. Now, Lieutenant Cammy, that's kind of like Kylie Minogue. She's not a character in the game. Cammy...

And DJ and T-Hawk, the other guy who's always with them at a certain point, only to out that it's that character Van Damme goes, hey, T-Hawk, why are you wearing that bandana? Oh, my God. Which they do as an ADR line in a wide shot. Cammy, T-Hawk, and DJ were not in the original. They were in Super Street Fighter 2. That's when they were introduced. Got it.

So what was your overall takeaway, John? I thought that it's a lot to have to do to write a movie about a video game and live up to all these specifics, right? Yeah.

But I don't know why you have to deviate. Like, Bloodsport is a pretty good template for a movie like this. It's essentially a movie about people that square off against each other. And it has subplots and stuff, but it's done pretty well. Yeah. So it seems like an easier task to me to just go, we'll have the characters...

They will, you know, we'll give it. I mean, it didn't even have the style of the game, you know, like there were no like, yeah, there was no kind of like I kept thinking people are going to come up in like a facing each other. Yeah. Two shot like like the game and somebody was going to go fight basically, you know? Yeah. Or at least open the movie like that. Like give you some give you give me a little bit of fighting. There's so much fucking guns in this movie and their boats. And it's like it's.

It really is just saying, like, this is popular, right? We'll just take these characters and dump them in here and we'll put a whole plot. But isn't there, like, a call from Jean-Claude Van Damme during the final showdown where he's like, let's not use weapons. Like, let's just do it all. Well, I actually have that clip. You can hear why. He gets very upset because apparently Bison has a very impressive suit that can resuscitate him from the dead. Now, did he have electrical shooting powers before he got electrocuted or was that just afterwards? No.

I also do want to say anytime anyone is pushed into an electrical box or a pipe, it explodes into sparks and steam. It's like the worst. They're all made out of balsa wood. The poor doctor gets it the worst. He's shoved into everything. That guy, every single thing he could be shoved into, he is. What I really actually love about movies like this is like,

And I know it's like, well, this is a cheap thing to pick on. So he's creating this super soldier, Bison. And at the end of the movie, he's revealing his super soldier. But he has built this elevator system to reveal it with these spikes on either side. It's a really cool reveal. But it would only really be used once. There's no...

functioning to it and I understand like lots of movies whatever but it does this crack me up it's like okay so in a couple days I'm gonna release this guy so first I want like Spears to come out of the ground really make it look cool and then we'll build a special elevator but I do want it and it's all staged in the hostage pit it is called the hostage pit several times um there Kylie Minogue straight up snaps the dude's neck in this movie right yeah there's a bunch of neck snappings there was a lot of neck snapping

But no blood. I think that's how they got away with no blood. There's like snap neck, snap neck, which is a violent act. A snap neck is a violent act. More violent than shootings. I also love the moment where

Bison has DJ check his Swiss bank account. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. So there must have been a scene that we don't see where Bison gives his Swiss bank account routing number to the A.N. What's the point? And the account balance is zero. Yeah, it is a zero. So he has no money in the account.

And is just waiting for it to say $20 billion. A Swiss bank account is when you're keeping your money secret, right? Yeah, yeah. What's the point of having a Swiss bank account? I think you can wire money into it without any problem. But why not cash? Why?

But by the way, yeah, why would you reveal that that's the account that you would, like, it would be, yeah, well. It is. The man would seize his, they would freeze that account. Yeah, and they could easily go, yeah, it's in there, and then the minute he, like. It was so funny, that thing, account balance zero. Zero. And it refreshes, account balance zero. Wait, oh, yeah, I forgot. I mean, again, this movie was made in the 90s, right? It was made in 1994. Yeah.

even then for that time the graphics were so shitty and there's a part of the movie where they just put computer graphics on the screen for a long time like longer than you think or it's like you're just seeing like Ryu and Ken captured and maps coming down it's like watching like it's like watching like 10 loading screens of a computer again not great for radio here but I will tell you that it's a hilarious scene of just bad graphics that doesn't reveal anything

What about the E-Honda Zangief Godzilla send-off security camera footage? And the Japanese people are watching. Two Japanese characters, yeah. The movie, by the way, is clearly in a foreign country. You would argue that everyone there is speaking a language that's not English. But then all of a sudden you run into these two Japanese people. You meet them for the first time. They have a Japanese conversation. Turn on security camera. And then they're watching. He says, let's watch the security footage. This might be strategically important. Yeah.

That's right. That's right. And then all he sees is these two large guys wrecking Bisonopolis, his new place, like Godzilla. Did they add Godzilla sound effects in there as well? It's really breaking the record. How about when Raul Julia is trying to seduce Chun-Li and there's a painting of a clown on the wall? That would be cool.

That was him. That was him. It's a painting of him. It's actually, it was actually a cheat. It was actually the same painting that was in John Wayne Gacy's house. It was like a nod to that. So that's how deep this movie went. Again, levels, levels and levels and levels. I can't handle this. Obviously we had opinions about this movie, but there are other people who thought it was a lot better than us. These are five-star reviews cold from Amazon in a segment we call A Second Opinion. Whoa!

The movie was a piece of shit Yet this person recommends it Tell me what is the message? See that art is subjective

I need a second opinion. Oliver Clare writes, the climax is breathtaking. And some parts are very, very funny. Like the part when Bison's troops surround Guile high up on Bison's headquarters with massive rifles. And Guile responds by grinning with confidence and pulling out a penknife. Ha ha!

It's only then that the camera moves and we see Guile's troops are behind him with even bigger guns. To sum it up, Street Fighter has its funny sides, ultra-violence, tactical espionage, and swear words. Ten out of ten. It hits all the requirements. Oh, my God. Swear words. Does anyone else feel like all of the men had hair that had been dyed orange? Yes. Yes.

That was like a very 90s, like,

like early 90s thing that was happening. Like it was like they were... Well, I mean, Guile has blonde hair, so they had to do his hair. But his hair can't be that color. I mean, it looked like they were trying to get them blonde and they landed on this strange color for both of them. Well, the Guile character in the video game has very striking hair. It's actually like very large. It's like sort of large and flat on top and very blonde. And I think they didn't actually go far enough with Van Damme's hair.

The color of it is just not a color. I guess what I'm saying is it just doesn't exist in nature. Like both of them had very strangely colored hair. They did. Indeed. We can take it up with their stylist. I want to read this other one here. There's another review. These two are some of my favorite reviews ever. This is my favorite DVD. It deserves a hundred rewards. And I love this movie so much I will never sell it for a million dollars. And that's my opinion. So don't ever disrespect it.

Buy this movie. For everyone who wants a good movie. Five stars. Amazing. Followed up by this one. This, first of all, this movie is excellent. And don't ever, and this means you, Daniel A. McClelland, say that again. You're insulting the stars who are in this movie, like Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Ming Yang, Damien Chappie, Kyle Minogue, and Wes Studi. They did very well. And don't underestimate a great movie, you idiot.

Five stars. So that was a very personal Amazon review. Some things that you guys should think about. Fabio was considered for the role of Vega. Amazing. And this is the one thing that really jumped out at me. The AN Forces radio DJ was played by Adrian Kronauer, who...

Was the actual DJ that they based Good Morning Vietnam on. He says, good morning, Chattaloo. So it is not referencing Good Morning Vietnam. It is actually the guy that they based Good Morning Vietnam on to play that guy. Well, how about the comical PA announcements throughout the whole movie? Yes. Oh, yeah. They were very, I was like, what? They were getting jokes off left and right with it.

Adrian Cronauer that's the guy he's a funny guy you gotta get the best interesting don't get Robin Williams I bet you they went to Robin Williams to be Adrian Cronauer and then they had to get the answer but there was also A.N. base announcements that was like what do you do if a if a bison soldier throws a grenade at you and also like pull the pin health insurance announcements yeah anything that we missed anything anyone wants to bring up before we this movie's terrible um

What do I want to say? Oh, well, the movie starts with them tracing the phone call. Oh, right. On television. They're trying to find Bison. Bison is a boat ride away. Yes. Right? They're trying to find his base for most of the movie. There's several times in the movie when they cut to a satellite in space, like, seeping

seeing like everything going on and they're tracing the fucking phone call in the beginning of the movie why can't they find this guy he lives in a temple like a beautifully ornate temple it is not hard to find him that should not have been one of the things that happened in this movie

Oh boy, oh boy. I recommend watching it. I actually enjoyed it. I feel like it's one of those movies that is very watchably bad. It's on Netflix Instant. It don't cost you nothing. Is it? Oh no, you're right. No, it's not. It's on iTunes. It's like a $2 iTunes rental. Three for HD. Yeah. Yeah.

You've got to get an HD. It was shot in HD. I went with the standard definition on this one. You know, we have a sponsor shout-out here. This guy Mike Hanley donated over $100 to the show. So thank you, Mike. And for you, Mike, we're going to play something that we only played on a mini-episode, and I've been meaning to play it on the actual show. This is a...

I don't even know how you describe it, but a musical interlude of the show. All the literallys pulled together, all the different quotes, everything at all that was actually made by... Oh, this is the supercut? A supercut. And how did this get made? Supercut. So enjoy that. For those of you who have not heard it, I think you'll really like it.

Hello, people of Earth. Hello, people of Earth. Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made? I watched this movie at 10 o'clock this morning, and it literally blew my mind. Cher literally puts makeup on Christina Aguilera, and literally the image on the screen of that movie should literally be called Wigs. Every choice they make in the movie is literally...

They're literally... It literally... Family Tucci will literally... And it's an excuse for Cher to literally... Even the explanation makes no sense. It makes no sense. It made no sense. It made no sense. Made no sense whatsoever. It makes no sense. To deliver lines that make no sense. That's literally a line. Literally. There's a guy who literally... She literally wakes up... God, that was upsetting. Really upsetting, actually.

It was actually really upsetting. Oh, it's so upsetting. It's so upsetting. It is really upsetting. That's what was so upsetting. That was upsetting, actually. I found that really upsetting. That was upsetting. It's really upsetting. It really is so upsetting. Okay, that was so upsetting.

That was so upsetting. It's so upsetting. This movie I found very upsetting. So upsetting. That scene upset me. The title really upset me too. Literally, her body is ripped apart by this demon. Literally, she is whipped. Literally ripped. This movie instantly makes no sense. The entire movie makes zero sense. It kicks in here in the third act where it goes bonkers. His performance is bonkers.

His team was bonkers. All of the fucking crazy bonkers. Straight up crazo. Super crazo bonkers. It is a bonkers insane world. It's bonkers. That is bonkers. She must be so bonkers. I gotta upload this bonkers next level crazy horror movie. And that shit is bonkers.

Literally, literally says, like, it's literally. They were literally, I literally, I know people have been writing on the boards that I say literally, literally all the time. It's literally that movie. And I know I say literally a lot, guys. You don't have to write it on the boards. It makes no sense. It made no sense. It makes no sense. This makes no sense. It's literally. Literally. They literally just. And literally. That whole sequence where she got into the cab ten different ways was crazy.

crazy. That was the craziest thing I've ever seen. That's the craziest thing I've ever seen. That was crazy. This shit is crazy. It was crazy. This is crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. Absolutely crazy. I was like, this is absolute insanity. I was like, this movie is insanity. I was like, this is absolutely insane. Absolute insanity. Absolute insanity. That is insanity. It's a

This is amazing. This is an amazing scene. That scene is amazing. Oh, that's amazing. Amazing. Amazing performance. It's amazing. Amazing. Amazing. She was amazing. Amazing. The rest of the police department is acting like dildos. Everybody talks like a fucking dildo in this movie. You've never been in battle, you dumb dildo. None of this makes sense. It makes sense.

No sense. The helicopter scene is insane. His mustache is insane. His wig is out of control. It's out of control. This is bananas. Which is bananas. And it's literally... That literally is literally a line that will literally... I forget how fucking insane this movie was. This is fucking insane. They literally... That shot of all the... The car literally... When they're... They literally... It's mental.

Keep on improvising. It's mental. It was mental. And that's the whole reason. Mental. Man, oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, boy, oh, boy. Man, oh, man. Oh, God. Wow, wow, wow. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, man. Oh, man.

man oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh

What the fuck is happening? What the fuck is happening? What the fuck is happening? I was like, what is happening right now? And I was like, what is happening? I was like, what is happening? What is happening? I was like, what is happening? What is happening? What is happening? What's happening?

What's happening? What is happening? What is going on? What the fuck is going on? What the fuck is going on? What is going on? What is going on? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? I've got to say, though, that moment made me really bummed out. That really bummed me out. Who knows? Who knows? Oh, who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Who...

Who the fuck knows? Who knows? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who knows? Who knows? Well, here. Shut up, dum-dums. Blow on it, dum-dums. And then, guess what, dum-dums? Fuck you, dum-dums. He literally... Where he's like, literally... Literally, he literally goes... Like, this person is literally... Let's get to the meat of this fucking movie. Literally. How did it get made? I literally am like, I don't know.

That, of course, was the How'd This Get Made supercut made by Kevin Porter. Thank you, Kevin, for all the time that it took you to make that. Kevin also is behind the Aaron Sorkin supercut. If you haven't seen that, it's awesome. It's pretty damn amazing. So thank you, Kevin Porter. All right. John, thank you so much for being with us. Thank you for having me. It was awesome. I'm glad. June, do you feel like you – I would like you to, before we leave, just explain your idea of what a street fighter is. Yeah.

I think a street fighter is some – I'm going to say someone who – Don't look to John. Okay.

Someone who fights in the street. Outside. Yep. I think that's probably pretty good. So you think the movie is invalidated by the indoor fighting? Yeah, all the interior shots mean nothing to me. Okay, that's a very strong point of view. All right. That is all, as always. John, what are you on Twitter? How can they follow you? Oh, God. I don't tweet much, I gotta say. But it's at...

Gember Licking. There it is. You can follow me at Paul Scheer. At Miss June Diane. Not on Twitter, guys. Definitely check out Burning Love Season 3 right now at burninglove.com. My comic book, Alien vs. Parker, is out in stores right now, issue 2, on newsstands or at Comicology. You can get it there. Thank you guys for listening. We'll see you next time. Bye-bye. I'm just gonna be... In your heart.

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