Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
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bas.com slash bonkers and use the code bonkers at checkout. If you like fucking yelling, then you're going to love today's feature presentation. We saw January man. So you know what that means? Now it's time for
How did this get made? We're gonna have a good time, celebrate some failure, not just be a hater, cause you know you're one of them. How did this get made? Let's follow in the mediocrity of subpar art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question, how did this get made? Hello people of Earth and welcome to How Did This Get Made. I am Tall John Shear and boy oh boy, we got a movie for you today. January Man comes out in 1989. Kevin Kline as a cop.
kind of solving a murder mystery, sort of having a lot of sex. Definitely. Is it a comedy? I don't know. But to break it down, I am bringing in one of the best, a person who I believe, like me, had such high expectations for this film. Please welcome my co-host, Mr. Jason Manzoukas.
I mean, Paul, I'll be honest. This movie, when you sent me the email that said we were going to do The January Man, I did in my mind think, oh, really? Because I think that might have been a good movie. On paper?
On paper, it's a great movie. Yeah, and then I looked it up and I was like, maybe I'm remembering the wrong movie because, and then I was like, maybe I'm thinking of, maybe Paul meant we're supposed to do the Jeff Goldblum movie, The Tall Man. And then I was like, oh no, he did mean The January Man. And then I was like,
But I still think this is I mean, this is John Patrick Shanley script. This has got like a murderer's row cast, including like Kevin Kline, Keitel, Alan Rickman, Sarandon, Mary Elizabeth Master Antonio. One of my like true like like teenage years loves like like Mary Elizabeth Master Antonio looks.
like the girl that I literally had like an unrequited crush on in high school for all of high school. She has the look of an eighties person, but doesn't look very eighties. If that makes sense. Like she is pull off a timeless beauty. She is a timeless beauty. No, look, I was also like very concerned about this film because it's
As a kid, this was an aspirational film that I wanted to see, but my parents wouldn't let me see it because they're like, no, it's too adult. And I think it just meant because there were boobs in it. But like, I was a huge Fish Called Wanda fan. I loved Kevin Kline in that. And this was after that. And I also loved this movie. Do you remember this movie where he played like a mob boss called I Love You to Death?
Oh, I don't remember. Oh, it like everyone in the family is trying to kill him. I think like River Phoenix and Keanu Reeves. Is Fish Called Wanda? Well, let's bring in our guests because I want to get I want to get into all this. Well, anyway, had high expectations. But Avril Haley, who is our producer, who picks all of our films, she's like, trust me, this is a disaster. And within five minutes of the film.
When I first heard Kevin Kline say, may I have espresso, please? I was like, I wrote her. I was like, you are a goddamn genius. And speaking of goddamn geniuses. Goddamn. We are having a very special guest today. Miss June Diane Raphael is not here. And we are filling her spot with a How Did This Get Made All-Star, a podcasting all-star, an
acting, writing, directing all-star who has a brand new podcast called Add to Cart. Please welcome our friend, Kulop Vilesak. Kulop, how are you? What an intro. Thank you for having me. Oh, yeah. So excited to have you on the show. You're welcome for watching this movie. Ha ha ha.
I have to tell you, Kulop, I do want to say you're welcome for having to watch this movie because I have enjoyed this movie more like a fine wine. It's aged on me. I actually have been sending clips to my friends because Averill put clips in the Dropbox. I'm like, you need to see this movie. You need to see what's going on here. Wow. It defies expectations. Yeah. I mean, of course I gave it four boobs. I mean, that's the...
That's what I must. I must give it. There's casual boobage in this. And that's the thing that is really indicative of an 80s movie. Just when it's non-sexual breasts out. It's just sort of like, we need to put this in. That helps us get an R rating. Everything in this movie is at 11. I feel like. Everybody, with the exception of...
interestingly of Harvey Keitel, who appears to be asleep in every scene. Like Keitel is doing so little in what he, in, in his performance. He's basically like, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. Sure. And,
And to juxtapose him, the idea in this movie is that Klein and Keitel are brothers. Okay? Yes. Not possible. No. It's simply not possible. Klein is doing a Fish Called Wanda level New York accent here. This accent is...
should be arrested. I mean, this accent is like, what is going on? It's going to be tough to be arrested because it goes, it goes in and out. Yeah. It pops up and it disappears. Yeah.
And because some moments when you first meet him, you're like, wow, he is swinging for the fences because we meet him not as a cop, as a fireman. Yes. Saving the life of a child. And he then gives very intimate CPR to him.
He gives the kids CPR and like brushes the hair off of his head and like gives him a little kiss. I was like, what's going on, guys? What? What? This is like I don't think firemen like tenderly stroke the hair of the the children they save.
I mean, I'm also going to go out on a limb and say, if you're a disgraced police officer who is involved in some sort of grift, which we don't fully get all the details of, but we understand there's some sort of grift. Can you just transfer over to the fire department without any issue? Like,
Is it sort of like, oh, yeah, well, you were a problem at the police department because you were a crook. Yeah. At the fire department. We don't mind. Come on over. Get us. So, yeah. So the fire department is a pipeline for disgraced cops is what this movie is trying to say. It's a bizarre choice. That's how you rehabilitate disgraced cops into heroes is you make them firemen and then they get on a beefcake calendar and everything's forgiven.
The brother element was so bizarre. And the accent really, when they do the few scenes where it's just them, like Kevin Kline's accent against Harvey Keitel's, it's troublesome at the least. And then they're supposed to be like, Kline is supposed to be like a Sherlock Holmes character.
And I can't buy Harvey Keitel as a Mycroft. Like there's no, not at all. But by the way, weren't you thinking in spoiler alert, but that Harvey Keitel was going to be the killer or, or someone. Okay. By the way, this gets at a huge piece of this movie, which is, I found very bizarre and also sort of interesting. So, so this movie is a serial killer. Who done it?
unlock the mystery of the movie, unlock the mystery of the serial killers actions, and you will solve the case type. Exactly what Kulop is saying. Kind of like a Sherlock Holmes-y kind of story. Yeah. And Kevin Kline is pulled back out from disgrace. Rod Steiger, uh,
like, chomp, chomp, chomping down on every scene he's in. Rod Steiger, like, a bull in a china shop. He's the mayor of New York, and he's just like, if you told me, I would have rather that he just, like, smash everything with a baseball bat throughout every scene, it would make sense. Rod Steiger is...
genius in this film, I need to play the scene that I've been sending to everyone.
I'm almost positive he has a perm in the movie.
By the way, that perm, like there is something going on. Like those, the Titans of acting in that scene. I feel like there is, there is a dick measuring contest going on there. It's like Harvey Keitel, Danny Aiello and Rod Steiger all moving around. Like, Oh, who's going to get the award for the best actor here. And also that scene while I enjoyed it. Yes. So long. So long.
So much air. Our main character is not in that scene. For it to be that long is wild. By the way, Coolip, our main character doesn't show up for a long time. For a long time. It makes you feel like...
you know, the first like 20 minutes of 48 hours is just a Nick Nolte procedural, cop procedural. And then Eddie Murphy arrives and is just breathes life into the whole movie. And it just is, it's a sprint from then on the movie. Act,
It's as though once we get ready, once we get to this Kevin Kline, this movie is going to take off. And once we get to Kevin Kline, I'm like, wait a minute. I think this might be a different movie. Kevin Kline appears to be in A Fish Called Wanda 2.
heightened comedic Sherlock Holmes movie, everybody else is in a Sidney Lumet procedural. Every single other person is in a Sidney Lumet movie. It's so weird. And I will say this too. I mean, they are,
are really overcomplicating the plot for, and this is what I think you were getting at before, Jason, for it not to connect in any way. Not only are Harvey Keitel and Kevin Kline brothers. We find out later that Kevin Kline may have taken the fall for Harvey Keitel, but also Kevin Kline's
ex-lover is now Harvey Keitel's wife. Yes. And then Susan Sarandon was, was like young Kevin Kline and, and young Susan Sarandon's characters were in love. You see pictures of them. They seem so happy and, and, and living like a, a, a happy life. And now she is, she and Keitel are married and they are,
you know, part of New York society, all done up, all like cold and detached. And they're the type of people that go to the ballet. Oh my God. You know what? Those fucking ballet people. Let me tell you something. I mean, I can't make heads or tails of what is going on with Susan Sarandon. I just want to point out one more thing too. When you talk about the tight nucleus of this movie. So the mayor's daughter is having an affair with Kevin Kline. Kevin Kline used to sleep with Susan Sarandon.
And they have a thing. But also Susan Sarandon is now dating Kevin Kline's brother. And then Kevin Kline's brother is... They're married. They're married, yeah. It's like everybody is... This is a movie where everybody interacts with each other. You would think that somehow...
And again, this is John Patrick Shanley who wrote Moonstruck. Yes. Who is like an incredible playwright. An incredible writer. You would think that the mechanics of this story would exist such that there's so much...
friction between people. There's so much antagonism between brothers, between ex-workers, Danny Aiello hates Kevin Kline. There's so much animosity that you would think that one of these people would eventually be revealed to be the serial killer, right?
Yeah. Not the case. That's what we're waiting for. Spoiler alert. The serial killer is an anonymous character who's never named or even really shown. And so the solution to the case, unlike a Sherlock Holmes or a Agatha Christie or a type of, unlike one of those type of Poirot gives you the reveal, we get the reveal is like a, oh,
okay, I guess they got the guy, but we, that, that doesn't help. That doesn't literally fix anything for us or our characters. There's no fun in anything. There's no like, oh, there's no fun. All those murders didn't equal any fun. It's almost like they were just senseless murders. Kevin Klein, I think says, his character says who the killer is. It does not matter. He, no, I actually have the clip. We'll play the clip right here. I don't know if I could get a cup of coffee.
He says, the killer is no one. As an audience member, I'm like, fuck.
You, fuck you for telling me, like, that's it? Like, I just watched a two-hour movie to tell me it doesn't make a difference. It would be like an episode of House in which they're only in the room where they're trying to figure out the case and you never go in and meet the patient. You never have any of the experience with the people that are affected by it, you know? By the way, the killer is Kevin Kline's stunt double. And I gotta say... Hmm.
choice that he had like shoe polish on his face. Oh, that was. Oh, you mean he was in blackface completely? That's right. Okay. That's what I kind of wanted to talk about. Was he in blackface to make it look like he was a black man? Yes. That is even crazier. It's even crazier. Yeah. A hundred percent. In like Nike, in Nike's, in like Air, in Jordan's. Oh my God. Like it was.
I thought at first it was just bad directing. Like I didn't like the way the camera didn't capture the, I was like, Oh, clearly there's a stunt man who's trying to be somebody else. Wait, Paul, but you are, you are right. Bad directing. You are so right about that. It did work. That's, this is a benefit of this movie. You can't quite tell what was the choice or not. Yeah.
But it's like we did Jade recently, and, you know, like, it's like these erotic thrillers, this isn't a thriller. And what's interesting about this movie is, and what I really kind of, like, you could never settle into this movie because, and I want to be very clear. Okay.
I love Kevin Kline. Love Kevin Kline. He's wonderful. The idea of him playing a character like this, a Sherlock Holmes type character, should be a home run. By the way, it felt like they were setting him up for a series. Like, oh, this would be his series because his little, what you already heard there, his
can I get a cup of coffee? Yeah. So like, I'm like, Oh, that's our, he has that kind of Sherlock Holmesy and he's at ease everywhere. He's never, he's never caught by surprise. Like the, the, the scene that, that best illustrates it is, which is, which is bad because it illustrates how good charismatic and compelling he is. But because he is all of those things, um,
It completely robs the stakes of the movie of their impact. So when he is chasing the eventually he discovers the real murderer and when he's chasing him and they have the most insane. Yeah. Oh, boy. The fight scene that goes down the flights of stairs in the puck building in New York City. Right. Yes. And it is. And the whole way down, Kevin Kline is making jokes.
He's cracking. He's like, come on. Come on, stop. Don't make me do this. And when people are looking, he's like, how am I doing? He's like, he's doing jokes in a movie that should be deadly serious. Or that should be the movie. Right. I was going to say. Yeah. The movie, though, the movie that exists is a thriller. Right. But his presence keeps...
keeps taking the air out of it. So they should have made a movie in which he's allowed to be funny and the movie understands that. Make your Fletch. Make your Fletch or something like that that feels like... Again, you have to feel like Kevin Kline is...
is on a roll at this point. It's Fish Called Wanda. It's, you know, this other movie that I was talking about before where he is this mafia guy. He's the leading man. They know that he can do this thing. So he must have had some say here. It feels like it's cast with a bunch of great people. Everyone's on board. Alan Rickman. Oh, Alan Rickman. In the most un-Alan Rickman role. And I love it. Loved it. He's great. And he's also, like, Alan Rickman kind of is walking the perfect middle line where he is...
It's bizarre, but grounded. And I really thought like, oh, I want to see Alan Rickman. And I'm sorry that we didn't get to see more of these roles from him that were kind of these. I mean, it was very light and kind of fun. I liked it a lot. I loved him in it.
I mean, obsessed, obsessed. Alan Rickman, one of the true, like should be spoken of as one of the true great actors of his generation, I think. From, when you think about the fact that within a couple of years of this movie, he's also Hans Gruber.
He's Hans. He's like one of the great villains in Die Hard. And then also playing this very funny sidekick character to Kevin. So Kevin Kline, we haven't explained exactly a little bit, but Kevin Kline is a he was a police officer. He was a fireman. They bring him back into the police department to solve this serial killer thing. Disgraced police officer.
Honorary fireman. Yes, exactly. But he's atypical because he's a hippie, they keep calling him. He's like he lives in the village. He's a beatnik. Yeah, his friend is an artist. He's got a very kind of, his vibe is not what you, especially at this time, would consider police officer. He's got long hair. He's got-
When he takes over his office in the police department, I was like, they are really doing some things. Like you find out that he doesn't want any furniture in his office. And he basically brings in his own oak panel desk and has Alan Rickman painting the walls and has his own espresso machine there because that's his calling card. And he just takes out all the furniture. It's so trying to be...
you're right, Cool Up. Like, Sherlock Holmes. It's like, this is my thing. I need to think in the right way, play music the right way. Like, it's all this thing. The cops hate him. They hate his guts. Yeah, but then I just like, you want a character like this, you want like really good demonstrations of power. Yeah. And we meet him and I'm waiting, I'm waiting. And finally, it's like, you know, he follows the mayor's daughter after a funeral. She goes,
Ice skating. And then she goes ice skating. That's a traditional New York City funeral. Oh, okay. You go to the funeral and then... The best friend who goes ice skating does not go... She goes from the church ceremony to ice skating. Yes, you don't go to the cemetery for the burial. You don't go to the cemetery for the burial. You go straight to Rockefeller Center so you can ice skate. But by yourself? Yes. But no one else was doing it, though, I feel. Or all of them.
people were coming from funerals. I don't want to pull you off track at all, but I will just say I knew this movie was bad.
When it starts on New Year's Eve and you follow our two main characters who are going home before the stroke of midnight. They're both in their own apartments at the stroke. They leave a New Year's Eve party to be home alone. Yes. And then if you're not sure, one of the characters goes home and there's slow motion of her fish tank.
I was like, that fish tank. I was like, you're not allowed to have a fish tank in another Kevin Kline movie. Yeah.
This is like that. They should have clocked that and be like, we really can't do this. But again, you thought, well, they're spending a lot of time in this fish tank. Do you think that this fish tank is going to give a clue? Nope. No. No clues. No. Nothing. The movie has no point. That's the thing is, none of the case, the case of the serial killer, the January man, none of the case is...
I mean, they eventually end up solving it. By the way, he's not the January man because he's been killing every month.
Oh, sorry. I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I know what you mean. But you know what I'm saying? Even the movie's name is flawed. He is the monthly killer. He just is caught in January. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He is not a specific January. He's the Gregorian calendar killer. I mean, but that's like the crazy thing is that the movie's title, it sounds good. Ooh, the January. Sure. Yeah, yeah. But that's. Yeah, no. He is no one. No.
You would think he would have put out a press release to be like, please stop calling me the January man. That's not who I am. I mean, guys, what is Kevin Kline's character good at? Okay. Right. Yeah, that's a good question. He has a bunch of aha moments because he notices things on trucks and signs. Exactly. Like he has a bunch of those things where like a truck drives by that says Prime Meets and he's like, Prime Meets, Prime Meets.
Prime. Yeah. Huh. Prime numbers. But, like, wait. What? Like, why? And...
Then I was like, oh, okay. The first sort of demonstration is that he gets the daughter to sleep with him. I'm like, okay, so he's like a Lothario type. But by the way, wait, hold on. Is that a demonstration of good detective work? He follows the last known person. You guys, it's skill. First, okay, how am I going to catch this murderer? First,
sleep with the mayor's daughter who happened to be the only witness the only witness stare at traffic until have epiphany but third have alan rickman do it have alan rickman do it rickman did most of it he got the computer i know so and then when he has like after he has sex with her is he is he upset because she's young like that was a weird like were they trying what was going on like okay
What was that about? They keep on saying that Mary Elizabeth Master Antonio, who Carl Tartt said to me the other day, he's like, man, I'm surprised SAG let her get in with a name that big. Carl Tartt said that. But he...
We were then hypothesizing, is there another Mary Master Antonio and then she had to add the Elizabeth? Or was there a Mary Elizabeth and she had to add the Master Antonio? We don't know. I mean, Curltart really, you know, as a man who has just two single syllable names, like that's, it's a Mary Elizabeth, Master Antonio. That's decadent. Yes, that is his opposite. But they make such a big deal of calling her Mary,
22 years old. Now, I'm not ageist in any way. I believe she's 23. Okay, 23. She looks absolutely stunning in this movie. She does not look like a 23-year-old. And I mean that in the way... In the nicest way. Wait, you mean she looks older? Yes. Because she's actually 34 years old when she's making this movie. And Kevin Kline is 44. So it's like...
Yeah, and by the way, that's fine. But you can't just run somebody in their mid-30s and call them early 20s. I mean, they make it like she just got out of college. The way they refer to her and talk to her is like, she's a young college kid. But her performance...
I will say is also that of an older person. Like she does not seem to be a 22 or 23 year old. Just out of college energy. No, no. She seems to be, he's, he's feeling like she's too young. Then I'm like, all right. So you're not into her anymore. No,
But then you are into her. So, OK, are you as a character like a Lothario? You're good at sex. And then he figures out he's about to have sex with her a second time. And then he looks at the sky and sees constellations. And instead of having sex with her, he grabs he he grabs. What's his face? Alan Rickman. And they all go to a planetarium.
What is that? Yes. I forgot about that scene. Yes, they go. They don't just, you know what? You know what they don't do? They don't just like look up the constellations. They go to a planetarium and watch a planetarium show. Like, again, she's the mayor's daughter and she just takes off and basically starts living with the lead investigator of her best friend's murder. Yes. And
And is now part of like a little trio of Klein, Rickman, and Master Antonio, Esquire. That's a law firm that I use. And they become like the Scooby-Doo gang trying to solve the January Man murders. But by the way, isn't that also like...
I guess maybe it does make a difference, but he is working for the police. So now he is like literally in bed with the only, like I would imagine, well, it's definitely a witness and I would imagine suspect on some level, maybe, I don't know. Like that's a pretty close, like the only person they have, the only connection they have to the not January man is her. So like for him to get that involved with her. And I do want to say one thing to Kulop's point is,
Is he a Lothario? Is he smooth? Because I want to play this clip of him seducing her. Today I see you and I find you very attractive. And I'm feeling vulnerable because of last night. So my feeling is, my instinct as a man is I don't want to ask you a lot of pushy questions because I want you to like me.
In fact, how real do you want this conversation to get? Because saying these things out loud has made me want to go to the next step and say to you, this restaurant's a five-minute walk from seven hotels. It is? It is. And I'd like to get a room in one of them right now and take you there. You would? Yeah, I would.
Is that seductive? I mean, I don't know. She just says yes. I thought it was a demonstration of power. Yeah, but I mean, it's one of those things, you know, she's just gone to her best friend's funeral. She's just ice skated at Rockefeller Center. So, you know, she's horny. Oh, my God. Well, I mean, so, you know, she's like so turned on. She's like, yeah, I want to fuck in a hotel because obvi, I just buried my best friend and I've been ice skating.
It's like it's the home. Well, I mean, Kevin Kline, I guess maybe his demonstration of Lothario power is his bluntness because he does ask Susan Sarandon how she gets wet. How do you get wet with him? What?
The Sarandon, okay, I could talk for an hour just about the fact, okay, so when, so Keitel and Klein are brothers who hate each other. And Keitel is the chief of police and he has to, the mayor orders him to bring his brother back onto the force, his disgraced brother back onto the force to solve this serial killer. Disgraced because of grifting. By the way, that's the other thing. The crime is,
Very minimal. It doesn't seem like all these cops would be so furious at a guy that was like taking money off the... In New York? What was disgraceful about Kevin Kline? Yeah, it wasn't like, oh my God, that guy shot a cop or he did it, he ratted out a cop. There was nothing that was like, it was so benign that it was like, oh wow, I guess these cops really care about like maybe taking some money off the top, I guess. I don't know. So Kline agrees to...
to come back to the force to solve the case with one condition. And the condition is that Keitel lets Kevin Klein cook, cook Keitel's wife, Susan Sarandon, who is Kevin Klein's ex-girlfriend dinner. And that dinner, this is where I was like, Oh, this feels like a play. This is where John Patrick Shanley wrote like a big long sentence.
scene that takes place at this dinner that is this little mini play inside of this movie. They're having a conversation. She finds something. You're right. It hits all those beats. Everything he cooks her is gross. Yeah. That's part of it. Part of the thing is it's a meal that is meant to be not enjoyable. Because he wants her to trust him and go with it. Like, that's his whole, like, his M.O. is...
I'm going to make you something disgusting, but if you try it, that means that you'll be open to things in our relationship. What a fucking asshole. It is a terrible move. It's just horrible. And then he offers that to, because now he's in love with the mayor's daughter, and he's like, I want to make you haggis. Like, what? And then they have, literally, this is the end of the movie. They've already found the killer, and they go, well, what's haggis? Listen, I want to make you dinner. Yeah? Yeah.
Okay. That'd be nice. I want to make you haggis. What's haggis? It's a Scottish dish. You take the stomach of a sheep and then you stuff it with the sheep's lungs, liver and heart, some onions, suet and oatmeal and then you boil the whole thing. Well, I don't know. Sounds a little weird.
But I'm game to try it. That's a fucking giant scene. Like, why are we adding, you're describing a haggis and then, I will try it. All right, they're in love. What is going on? Like, honest to God, like, if that's what the, if his, I guess he's a good policeman. I don't think so. Jason, he's not. You know,
Everything, I guess, I mean, the movie's trying to tell me he is. Yes. But he really is not a good policeman. He really is, like, it is a weak version of a Sherlock Holmes. Very. Because it is all circumstantial. None of it is practical, like, this to this to this. Oh, now, or my powers of observation are so great that I'm picking up on things other people aren't picking up. He really is just...
literally pulling words off of the side of trucks, having things like having weird epiphanies simply to move the plot forward. Not it's not satisfying at all. It feels like one coincidence after another, after another. Like for me personally,
The January man should have won. Like these people are bad. They're so bad at this job. They should they should have lost. He should have killed people for years. And you're saying that knowing he was in blackface, that's how much I was rooting. Wait a minute. Maybe I should take that back.
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Susan Sarandon gets done dirty in this film because she's barely in it. And we don't really know what her motivation is. We don't know why she's like with the brother, because there seems to be no connection there. It doesn't seem like we understand her character at all. But why would the brother be like, I know that you used to date my wife. I'm going to let you cook her dinner. Just you one-on-one. Like, like was he, and I, I,
I say this not because I'm expecting it, but like, was he like serving it up? Like, all right, you can fuck my wife. If that's if that's what gets you back on the case, you can fuck my wife because that seems like where it might have been going. I mean, she certainly comes back the next day with a bottle of red wine to do it. That's true. She was so underserved by the movie that I believed she was the killer. Right.
Yes. Well, you wanted somebody to be. Her storyline was so thin and she had so little perceived agency inside of her own story. She's just ping-ponging between these men that I was like...
There's a version of this movie that makes sense where she is the murderer because we are not otherwise giving her any... We're not doing much to serve her character who is integral in all of these people's lives. I wrote some fan fiction down on a piece of paper here. Oh, good. Because I was in the same boat. I was like, what if... And it's a little bit of a long shot. Harvey Keitel...
had an affair or slept with Mary Elizabeth Master Antonio. He kills her and the wife, like, that's in my mind. I was like, okay, this is like an interesting thing. Like, these brothers keep on having sex with the same woman. Gross. But like, that would maybe be his triangle where then like, Susan Sarandon's like, I'm mad at this woman. Oh, no, wasn't the, it would be like the, it would be the
the friend of the mayor's daughter. That's who Hivory Keitel had sex with. He killed her to keep her quiet. And then the wife finds out about it. I thought there was going to be a little bit of that. Like I was writing that I was getting deep into trying to figure out how these characters could be related. Okay. That would have been good. Give me something. I was like, I was examining for a while. I was like, Oh, Susan Sarandon is the killer. That's smart. I like that. She's like capable. She's a badass. Okay, great. No, no,
Then I was like, for a moment, I was like, it's Keitel. Yeah. Keitel is so angry that he is the, you know, he is the Mycroft. He is the overlooked one. He's being bossed around by Rod Steiger. His wife's in love with his brother. And then they've got this, the whole scene that is obviously a reshoot scene, the walk and talk scene where Kevin Kline says that mom loved me. Mom loved me more than you. Mom loved me. Kevin Kline's New York accent is absolute garbage. Yeah.
Keitel is just effortlessly New York. And Kevin Kline is like, Ma, you gotta get used to it. Ma love me more than you are. I gotta say something about this accent too. Kevin Kline is known as being a New York stage actor, which means that he's a man who spent much time in New York, around the people of New York. And I often find an accent like this is reserved for British people who...
what a New York accent is through Robert De Niro films or Scorsese films. It feels like he's a... That is so incredible. I had the exact same... I felt like this is a British person's impersonation of New York because...
Because Klein feels British. Kevin Klein at rest. Yes. If you told me, oh, well, you know, Kevin Klein, like spent the first 11 years of his life in the UK. I'd be like, yes, I believe you. Well, it's like it's like when Idris Elba, when I first saw the like the wire, like TCA panel or whatever. And Idris Elba spoke in a British accent after like after watching a season of The Wire was like, oh,
what the fuck? But like, never would have assumed that he was a British man. But, Kevin Kline, you're right. Oh yeah, if he started speaking like, oh no, that's where he's from, it wouldn't even phase, it wouldn't blink. I'd be like, of course. You cannot convince me he's from New York in this movie. It's like, and I mean it when I say like, he is a wonderful actor. He's not a bad actor at all. But he's acting terribly in this movie with this accent. Do you think it's because
And I find this a lot that great... Well, I mean, but Fish Called Wanda, he is broad in Fish Called Wanda. Sometimes dramatic...
actors when they're doing comedy we'll push it like we'll push it bigger and make a broader choice and when i think about that movie i love you to death he is doing like hey i'm a i'm a tony and i'm the mafia guy like he does that for that movie but if it's inside of that if it makes sense for that movie you know like if it's something then maybe that's okay but
See, to me, this movie is not at all intended to be viewed as a comedy. No, but I mean, he feels like he's in a comedy. No, no, that's what I'm saying. I agree with you. His performance, though, is from a comedy. You know, I'm so confused. Yeah. Yeah. But then you get this moment. You missed me. Please don't. When you close your eyes, don't you see my face? Nick, don't. How do you make love to him after me?
How do you get wet? Do you think about the money? But then you have a moment like that where it's like, wait, we've just stopped the movie and now we're going into that direction. So he also, as much as he's doing a comedy, he will fluctuate and drop and be like, now I'm in a fucking straight up drama. Again, going back to that John Patrick Shanley play in that apartment. And then the weird three rhythmic slap that Sarandon gives him. Oh, yeah. Like...
Boom. And he just takes it. Guys, rule of threes. Rule of threes. Rule of threes. Okay, so we leave that scene and it's a comedy. It really is. Maybe when she slaps him, it changes tone. Every time she slaps him, the tone changes. It really is. I was genuinely like...
The movie never settles into anything. It never settles into its plot. It never settles into its tone. It never settles into any of the recognizable archetypes that it is drawing from. That slap is the slap from Moonstruck. Let's keep in mind, same guy, same slap.
Same, you know, like these elements all are at play in John Patrick Shanley's work. But here where they're kind of infused into, it's almost like they were like, what if we took Moonstruck and inserted it into Basic Instinct? You know, or something like, or, you know, Jade or Sliver or any of those of the time erotic through Jagged Edge, any of those erotic thrillers. And it just does.
work at all. The story is chafing against it. My theory is that John Patrick Shanley
is the toast of the town people are like this guy's great they hire him to write a bunch of these hollywood movies and then host of the town i think as a playwright yeah i'm kidding oh yeah i just like the phrase the toast of the town i like to you know how i like to speak about people in in the broadway theater world i like the toast of the town um
You know, but he is very well known and doing all this sort of interesting stuff. And I have a feeling that he does this thing where he sells, I mean, like these are his movies, right?
Moonstruck, right? Without a doubt, great. Five Corners, not familiar with it, but it's a canon film. Great movie. Great movie. It is? Okay, great. It's John Turturro. It's basically, it's John Turturro's first movie and it's all of these, it's basically the Yale drama
class of that era. Oh, wow. In a movie. It's pretty great. Or I remember it as great. It's Jodie Foster, Tim Robbins, Todd Graff, and John Turturro. Yeah, so I'm just looking at that right now. So, okay, and then you go into January Man, which is this movie, and then Joe vs. the Volcano. These are the two that are tricky because...
they're both all over the place. I like Joe versus volcano, although I know it is bizarre, but it is like there's sacrifices. There's weird things like, so I don't know if it's John Patrick Shanley who writes very grounded, interesting stuff getting rewritten by like a bunch of Hollywood screenwriters. So it becomes like a mishmash because the rest of the stuff that he writes is like a
But then he writes the dinosaur story. Is it not a lot of the blame? Is that what this podcast is about? Blamed? Signing blame? Ha ha ha!
Like within that, like a big part of it fall on the director. Like, yeah, I mean, you're right. Yeah. The tone. Yeah. The tone, you know, like, and every, I'm just thinking like, I love Danny. I, like, I love him. And every scene had the same rhythm. He's angry or he's, he gets mad. And then he kind of simmers down and he goes, okay. At the end. Yes. You're right.
He like, like a puppy. Okay. Every scene he has bluff and he comes in bluff and full of bluff and bluster and then capitulates at the end of every scene. It's the exact same scene over and over. You're absolutely right. I just can't understand what they gave these actors because like, why does Susan Sarandon go? I need to play this part. Why does Harvey Keitel? I need to like, there's no reason for any of these actors to feel like, cause they're all done dirty. The only two people that are,
or the three, the Scooby gang, they're the ones that have the best showing. Mary Elizabeth, Master Antonio, for the most part. Kevin Kline, obviously, because he's the star. And then Alan Rickman. Like, they have the most to do. The rest are just...
gruff and like... The rest are just background characters, but they are... Because the January Man, the serial killer, is not a character in the movie, they make antagonists out of
Steiger, Keitel, and Sarandon in a way. Yeah, but they're not because they... But they're not... And Aiello. But they just turn out to be assholes. Yeah, correct. They just turn out to be people who are ill-tempered. But by the way, they turn out to be people who are assholes, but maybe deserve it. Maybe they earned it. Like, Kevin Kline, if you look at it, has been an asshole to a lot of these people. Like, he is deserving of their...
ire of their like he's literally saying to his brother, Ma loved me more. Yeah. That's like that is not an empathic statement to say to your brother. That's like he's he's a fucking dick. He's a dick to people in the world. He's a dick in the in the investigation. He's a dick to the people in power. But there's a way in which I feel like he's being framed as like he's a unique person.
that needs freedom and he should be allowed to deconstruct the kind of hierarchical structures of the police department to bend to his will and blah, blah, blah. I don't know. The biggest compliment I can give him is that he is blunt because even when you say like, mom loved me more, it's like,
Why do you need to say that in that moment? Why would you ever say that unless it was a reshoot that you needed to underscore something because the audience is like, I don't get this. That's what it felt like to me. After the test screenings, they're like, oh, I don't understand. Why do they hate each other? Because it's an exposition dump that really reframes their relationship and it's filmed on a green screen. Yeah.
Wait, it was on a green screen? You think so? That walk and talk is a green screen. Oh my goodness. Oh my gosh. Well, there was the side mystery that is supposed to show you that Kevin Kline, to exonerate Kevin Kline's character, which is this check. Oh yeah, what was it? The check. The check.
- But what was that? - That was proving that Kevin Kline was framed by his brother and it was Harvey Keitel and the mayor that were doing the grift. - Okay, right, I knew that. - And that Sarandon back in the day took the check and she's been holding onto that evidence and at the end she says, "I love you." And he's like, "I don't love you." She's like, "Here's this check."
And, but I guess like my question was, is like, what does that check show? Because again, I don't know really what happened. Like what would one check like that? He didn't cash it. I mean, that, that may have been the other part of it. Like, I don't know. I don't know anything. I'm confused. I don't know anything. And I don't care. That's the other thing. It doesn't matter. Nothing.
Nothing matters. Exactly. The movie doesn't make you care about the check and that story. The movie doesn't help you understand the stakes of any of these things. And so much so that the moments of discovery for the investigators, which should feel like...
We're getting closer. We're closing in. Like Jodie Foster in Silence of the Lambs, right? Oh, wait. Is that the sequel to that? No, no. That's the prequel to my new favorite show is the show Clarice on CBS. Oh, I haven't watched it yet. I think that that's the prequel movie to that. I forget that you're Gen Z. I always forget that. I heard it's based on a movie. I'm talking about a movie. I'm talking about the movie that's the sequel to Manhunter. Oh.
Oh, I only know Clarice. I know Clarice. So is it the same actress from Clarice, the TV show? Yes. Okay, cool. No, no, wait, sorry, sorry. Okay, so anyway, so it's Clarice Knows It All. That's a show I want to see. That's a show. I'll play premium on Peacock for that show.
It's Melissa Joan Hart as an FBI profiler. Solving mysteries around town. But she's also can freeze time. No, Clarissa couldn't freeze time. Anyway, so what I was going to say is, and I want you to play this, please, in its entirety. But it's so unsatisfying when things happen. So as in when Kevin Kline and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, again, a
timeless beauty. Oh, timeless. A phenomenal actor. You're on record. And maybe one of the most significant crushes of my life. Jason, I need to break this to you. Yeah. When she was filming this movie, she fell in love with the director and they married right after it. Oh, God. Oh, God. But they've stayed together. It's okay. It's true love. You know what? I believe.
their love. I believe in their... Listen, I'm not trying to get in the way of Mary Elizabeth, Master Antonio, and true love the same way that I'm not going after Emma Thompson. These people are deserving of the love that they have found. I'm not going to try and rob them of it even though I would be better as their mate. Anyway...
Wait, so you were saying that you want to play... The scene that I want you to play is the scene where Kevin Kline and Mary Elizabeth Master Antonio are discovering what song is... Buddy, I got it. Oh, my goodness. Buddy, I got it queued up. Of the computer. I got it queued up right here. There's seven notes in a row. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
What is that? That, that, that, right there. Yes. What did you just do? Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
I love, I love my little calendar girl. It goes on for so long. It goes da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da
Like you have the, it's there. Can we just also just break it down and go, this is the plan? This master serial killer is like, I like the song calendar girl, and I'm going to look at the landscape of Manhattan and then play calendar girl by killing the girls in the window, which by the way, also could be just a big problem because how do you know that they're all residential? How do you know that a woman lives in all those buildings? It's,
A single woman. You know, it's just. It's a very tough. It's a very tough plan to orchestrate. I was just going to say, think of how much work. If I'm being honest, again, I'm going to go back to my previous statement.
The January Man has the most compelling storyline in this movie. We need to find out what's going on in his mind. We need a TV show like Hannibal that's just about the January Man. The January Man. Like, again, because I'm like, he's doing so much work and research in order to find and execute all of these plans. He has to isolate buildings to match the constellations in the sky. Frustration.
floors of buildings to find single women on those floors to match the notes of the song. Like, there are so many ways this could go wrong for him. I mean, it is... Plus he has to get in blackface, I'm assuming, to do every one of these? I mean, by the way, I just want to like... This is nuts! I do want to call it the blackface one more time because... Because it's awful! It's awful, but it's also like...
Okay. I'm going to, as you're listening to this, Jason Klopp, you can judge me and correct me, but everybody else, I'm just trying to work out an idea here. Wait, Paul, why are you holding a tin of shoe polish? Okay, now hear me out. Paul, Paul, wait. Hear me out. Paul, stop. You're going to ruin your shirt. Turn off your camera, Paul. Turn off your camera. All right. So I just want to like walk it through.
The one thing that we know about this guy is that he is incredibly stealthy, right? There is a deliberateness. There is a stealthiness that he has. Well, Kevin Kline makes sure to mention that he has picked all the locks, which is almost impossible. He hasn't broken into places. He's picked the locks, which is very difficult. So we have set up this character who...
I think is not going to get caught anywhere because he's
I guess what I'm saying is why the disguise? Like there is no reason for the disguise because he's not blending in. No one's going to see him because he's not, he's not out in the mix. He's not in a crowd. There's no ID. My assumption would be in case he is caught on security cameras going in and out of buildings or in an elevator in case he is,
spotted by people coming in and out of a building, anything that could be anecdotal, not necessarily primary sources, like the person he's going to kill or something like that. Or it's just a large leap to be like, why not just put on a wig, you know, or, or wear some glasses. Like this guy is like, Hmm, get out the shoe polish. Let's do this. I feel like Klein even says like, what in the, in that, uh,
the scene that you played of like, he's nobody. Doesn't he say something like, you know, he could be anybody. Like you would think he'd be a milquetoast white man. Like why? Like it's so weird. It's so bizarre. In a movie full of absolute bananas choices. That is just a very unsettling and unfortunate one to insert into the end of the movie. It is. It's egregious. But,
Let me ask you this. Do you guys think the scene in which... Okay, so the final setup of the movie in which the murderer is revealed and the heroes are vindicated and blah, blah, blah. The final set piece involves the mayor's daughter, Mary Elizabeth Master Antonio, the goddess of all goddesses, being used as bait in order to...
lure the murderer in, right? Right. And what they do is they build a neck piece for her because the murderer always strangles someone with a ribbon. So they build an artificial neck piece for her so that she won't be... When the guy tries to strangle her, she won't be. It's like a hard plastic neck piece, kind of, you know. But, okay, so she goes into the apartment.
The guy, the murderer starts to try and strangle her. And Kevin Kline is then supposed to break in and rescue her.
Now, Kevin Kline using a fire extinguisher to try and smash the door cannot smash the door down. And she is inside being strangled, quote unquote, even though it's you know, she's not yet in mortal danger. It is still very scary. Did you feel like I felt like I should say they were playing that scene for comedy? Yes. She was like, Nick, Nick, where are you, Nick? Come on.
And he's slamming his body against the door. Yes. And he's like, oh, he's giving looks like this door is pretty strong. I was like, what the fuck? I mean, again, this is the apex or yeah, this is the most...
Dramatic scene of the film. By the way, I will say the one scene that was actually very well directed was the decoy kill scene, which where they follow that woman to her apartment where you don't know her. And then he pops out from behind the closet. And that just turns out to be the psychopath. I jumped. Yeah, I was scared. But that scene, you want to feel like your main character might die. And you're like, oh, silly Kevin Kline didn't think this through. Right.
Come on. Fuck this movie. I felt like it was like a long, and it goes on for a long time. Yeah. It goes on for a long time. And I'm like, at any point, this guy could just pull out a knife and kill her. Oh, yeah. Well, that's not the way he does it. That's not the way he does the blue ribbon. I guess so. And the blue ribbon? Blue ribbon. Yeah. By the way. I thought Harvey Keitel, like with the guy who escapes from,
From the institution and is not the January, the not calendar man, not January man. I thought like somehow Kytel... And also not the Batman rogue, the calendar man. Yes, sorry. I thought that somehow Kytel and the mayor like had something to do with that and not just some...
thing, like, so that they would have, like, they would, I don't know, somehow. So that they could have the public win. Yes, that's what I thought it was. Maybe this is the most pure New York cop procedural ever because there are no connections, there's no dirty deeds, it's just inefficiency and bad police work and stumbling on a killer. It's like, who cares who it is? Ah!
We don't know. You know, it's like this movie is all disconnected coincidences and then random epiphanies that lead to an unsatisfying solution. Yeah.
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Well, you know what? There's no wonder Roger Ebert called this movie one of the worst films of all time. And he did that four years after it came out in 1990. So he revisited his opinion four years later. Yep, still sticks. Obviously, we have opinions about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinions. The movie was a piece of shit.
Thank you, John Lajoie. These are five-star reviews from Amazon.com.
Buckle up, because 73% of these reviews of January Man are five-star reviews. People are very horny for Kevin Kline. This is from Nate Kiley. Really has done his job here on the research. Many of the reviews are from Japan. Oh.
um and they're in japanese so we don't even know but they are five star reviews from japan so this movie is a big hit uh or i'm assuming because nate has never said that a majority of reviews are in japanese so that's be that with yeah if we have anybody out there that can uh speak and read japanese please go on there figure out some of these reviews and then read them to us all right um
Here we go. This is from Alita Alice. She titles it, A Good Sunday Night Film. Kevin Kline, still kind of a tasty hunk. Loved him. Miss him in more movies. He is so funny, sexy. The whole cast was good. Bring on the popcorn. I think Phoebe Cates is a lucky woman. Five stars. Five stars.
All right. Interesting. You're going to his own wife. Grandma Pat. Grandma Pat. Good, good, good. Grandma Pat titled this one Liked Times Four. And she says, my husband and I saw it first and liked it. My son saw it next and liked it. He lent it to someone who liked it.
I then went to finally see it and found out the disc had gotten scratched when the case closed improperly. So I bought it again. So everyone who saw it liked it and I wanted to see it. And I also liked it. Five stars. Gross.
Grandma Pat. Grandma Pat wanted to see what all the talk was about. What a story. Also, what kind of DVD is Scratch? Can you imagine her review has so many, so much autobiographical information inside of it. Like, I liked the movie. But the part about the Scratch DVD, that was wild stuff. That is how my mother-in-law tells a story. I like that. Is her first name Pat? Yeah.
All right. So this one is John P. Holloway writes, mark your calendar dot, dot, dot good all year round. Sure. No car chases, no explosions, but an interesting plot with about a half dozen twists. I,
I saw this first in Spain in 1989 in English somehow and probably viewed it more than twice a year ever since. Scores of friends and now my grown son and daughter
have found themselves enamored of it. Rickman's turn is a far cry from his diehard and quiggly down under roles. Yes, because Alan Rickman from Die Hard and Quigley Down Under. One of the great disappointment movies of my childhood. Oh my gosh, 100%. It was...
Selleck. It was Magnum P.I. It was Tom Selleck when he wasn't able to do Indiana Jones, even though they wanted him. So then he did Quigley Down Under and it was bad. I want to see.
Oh, we should do that on this podcast. Yeah. Kevin Kline is brilliant. No wonder he finally got an Oscar for A Fish Called Wanda. Aiello is just great. And Steiger is, well, vintage Steiger. Harvey Keitel is a semi-controlled sibling rivalry entrapped. And the tension is palpable. Susan Sarandon is a tortured fatale that holds it together. Master Antonio, in a hundred years, we'll all be dead, has been my mantra ever.
ever since. The tape's finally worn out and I'm gladly going to pay for the DVD. Would someone get me a cup of coffee, please? Perfectionist.
Preferably an espresso. Five stars. That was written in 2004. Boy, people love this movie. So wait, so this movie is before Fish Called Wild. After. After. But I guess this person saw it and who knows? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's watching VHS tapes in 2004. Okay, got it, got it, got it. Okay, that's fine. The movie came out in 89. The opening weekend, they don't have a budget for it, but...
but it's described as lavishly budgeted. It's not a cheap movie. This is not a cheap movie. Oh, no, it's a proper big New York movie. It must have been very expensive. But good point of what, I mean, who said that there's no chases, there's no car chases. No explosion, yeah.
There's no action. There's really no action except for that final sequence, which was almost like a walkthrough for the Atomic Blonde stair fight scene. It was like, yeah, and then I'll hit you like this and then we'll do that. Yeah, the whole final scene is basically just falling down one flight of stairs, falling down one building's worth of stairs. It's the opposite of the raid. Yeah.
The opening weekend was a record 1.7 million and the worldwide gross was 4 million. This movie came in 122nd place out of all movies made in 1989. The top three movies were Batman, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Lethal Weapon 2, and...
It was beaten by these shows that were prominently featured here on the podcast. Look Who's Talking, Roadhouse, Tango and Cash, No Holds Barred, My Stepmom's an Alien, and it beat nothing that we have done. By the way, I want to read you the taglines. Oh. What a way to start the year. Okay. Oh, God. Murder, corruption, comedy. So it was billed as a comedy. Oh, wow.
And then finally, that's shocking. And then this is my favorite one. 11 women, 11 months. Only one man can stop him. All right. Like, I guess it's not really what we're following. It's not like he's on the trail. He's on the trail of a serial killer for about a week and a half. Maybe. This is maybe...
I don't know. I'm going to say something that is probably not true, but this is maybe the worst movie that has so many good components in it. Well, like three Academy Award winners. An incredible writer. Like all of the pieces are so good individually that
And then it adds up to something so unsuccessful is kind of wild. I just don't even understand why people signed on to it. I mean, that's the whole thing. I don't know. Would you guys recommend watching it? And I'm going to go first and say I would because there are so many funny, weird things. It's like there are like I was enjoying my way. It goes by quick. It just doesn't make any sense.
There are some funny scenes. The Steiger, Keitel, Aiello scene, you got to see that. I think you have to see the Sarandon and Klein scene with the three slaps. You got to see that. That whole dinner, the Sarandon and Klein dinner. That one right there. So good. Yeah, I agree. I think you have to watch it almost because it's...
It's so it's kind of just so shocking. You know, you your mind is telling you,
I believe these-- I know these are good actors. So why is this not work-- What is wrong? It's like a-- The movie creates a dissonance that is bizarre. Like, it is-- It is strange to watch 'cause you're like, "I know all the ingredients here are delicious, but why does this soup taste rancid?" It's like-- It's-- The way I can describe it is, it's the way I felt when I realized I needed glasses. I could see--
see, but it wasn't clear to me. I was like looking at the chalkboard and I was like, why is the teacher writing so lightly? And someone was like, the teacher's not writing lightly. You just can't see her, the writing. I was like, right. Cause it's like, it is there. I can see the world. It's just not in focus. And that's, this movie is, I mean, and arguably like,
The tonality is really the issue. If they made one choice, it's a better movie. It's just a better movie one way. If they would just drill down on something, it would be good. If you were like, if it's a comedic Sherlock Holmes inside the New York Police Department railing against Danny Aiello, great. If you take out Kevin Kline and replace him with like,
I don't know, Joe Mantegna or Robert De Niro or Andy Garcia or somebody like a guy who's going to be like, nope, I'm just going to be the New York detective guy. I'm on the case. Then you're like, oh, it's more like a Joe Esther House kind of proper procedural thriller. I would be like, OK, I kind of get what that movie is. But this movie is like a fucking mess of options.
all of these. It's almost like everybody's actor's secret was that they were in different movies and they weren't allowed to tell each other. Um, cool up. I want to just talk about your podcast, which I think is so great. You and Suchan Pak, uh,
host this amazing podcast, which I think that does tell people what the premise is, because it's a, I think it's a great premise. It's basically, we talk about the things that we buy and buy into. So yes, there's a lot of shopping. I'm trying to fill a void. That is why a chasm too, too hard to leap over. But anyway,
In the end, we really end up talking about what's going on with us and try to find meaning. Well, but I think what I love about the show, as somebody who has been, and Jason, I'm sure, can speak this as well, we've all been in our houses, and what you buy...
there are these interesting things that define you. Like Jason was talking about something the other night that I was like, like you were talking about, you get this, you got at a certain point, this root beer of the month club. And I was like, oh yeah. And it's like, but what are these things that bring us?
Oh, yeah. No, earlier, I had to stop doing it because I was like, I don't normally drink soda like this. This is crazy. 30 bottles a month. I'm not a soda drinker, but I read something and then I signed up for a thing that sent me like a box of 30, um...
like regional root beers, like not like A&W or whatever, like small batch root beers. And they were delicious, but I was also like, this is like a cry for help. This is like, if anybody saw, if anybody opened my fridge and saw 30 root beers in there, they would be well within their rights to be like, this is grounds to be institutionalized.
I'm surprised that you didn't just take two out at a time and just put them in there. Because I hide them. I have a fridge where I hide my canned wine. Secret fridge? Oh, I have a garage fridge, which has been the best thing. Secret fridge. Oh, wow. Secret fridge!
But I do love it. You're right. You're right. Cool up in the sense that like our purchases this during this period, during this year, probably more than ever, our purchases are super revealing about who we are and the things that we are trying to either thirsts we're trying to satiate both literally and figuratively and everything else, you know, it's, it's a great podcast. Thanks. You will love it. And your documentary origin story is now out on, uh,
Right. So that is also out for people to consume. When we've talked about this before on the show, it's a great documentary about you and where you're from. And, and it's a fascinating story. And if you haven't checked that out as well, you got to check that out. Really. And you solve a murder. You do solve a murder. You solve a murder inside of it. And your documentary is origin story dot or colon January man. Yeah.
Yep. Yep. Check that out. You can get that on Amazon, bros. And this coming fall, you are the showrunner for Clarissa Explains It All, right? You guys, I am not allowed to announce it yet. So much good stuff for you. Cool off. So excited. It's been a great demi for me, you guys. Yeah.
Jason, what do you want to talk about? Anything to plug? Anything to do? Close Enough Season 2 is out on HBO Max right now. A great animated show that I'm one of the voices on. And I'm not sure, depending on when this comes out, the Invincible animated show based on the Robert Kirkman animated series is going to be out on Amazon soon. And it is fantastic. Amazon killing the superhero game.
Boys and Invincible? Like, wow. Yes. Great job. Yeah. No, big time. So good. I will just plug that I'm in a movie right now that you can get on VOD called Happily with a killer cast of people like Joel McHale, Carrie Bechet, Kirby Howell-Baptiste, Shannon Woodward, Breckin Meyer, Charlene Yee,
John Daly, Stephen Root, so many great people. And that is on VOD right now. And if you want to check out some fun stuff that we're doing online on Twitch, you can check out twitch.tv slash friendzone. And there's a bunch of different shows every week up there.
Twitch.tv slash friendzone. It's just like YouTube. You can just get on. A big thank you to Cody, our super producer, our amazing sound engineer, Devin. Of course, Avril Halle, our producer who picks all of our films. And Nate Kiley does all of our research. A shout out to July Diaz, who makes sure this show sounds great.
as good as possible. And a tip of the hat to the ghost of Craig Team Nelson, that's Zach McAleese and also Kyle Waldron who do all of our great art. You can follow us on all the social medias and if you want to talk about January Man, you can give us a call at 619-P-A-U-L-A-S-K that's 619-Paul-Ask. I'll talk about your life, I'll talk about this movie, we'll talk about it all
And make sure you visit tpublic.com slash store slash HTTM to get the sex figurine from the Jade shirt. It is released. It is out. What I drew. What do you mean a figurine? Well, I mean, or the figurine that I drew of...
People having sex. My stick figure of sex. Wait, have we made an actual, like, figurine? No, no, no. I'm calling the stick figure. Sorry. The stick figure drawing. Oh, I get it now. Got it, got it, got it. The stick figure drawing is now available. So check all that out. That is all we have. I literally was like, are we currently making, like, a desktop thing?
figurine of that stick figure fuck doll. Cool. I have to show you this. I'm going to send you the clip of what exactly happened. We saw a sex pillow in, uh, in, in, we saw a sex pillow in, uh, in this movie, Jade. And I was trying to describe the way I thought it was used in sex.
Paul drew a picture. I'm seeing it right now. Molly just sent it in. Wow, Paul. Really good art. By the way, yes, it was a very quick draw. But I will tell you that many... Careful, Kulop. This picture makes people horny. I will tell you this, that many of the people I spoke to after that episode came out in the sex pillow world were telling me that I was right on the money. I'm sorry. I'm going to stop you right there.
Many of the people that you talked to in the sex pillar world. Well, I've got a lot of people said online, how many people are there and why are you, and you're talking to me, they were talking to me and they were saying, Hey, I just want to say that you were right. Uh,
The Liberator will send you these. And I was like, no, I don't need to have anything sent to me. So wait, are you now like the MyPillow guy for sex pillows? What's happening? If the price is right, I'm going to get into that game because why not? I mean, what are people doing right now in the pandemic more than anything? I mean, listen, we have, listen, on TeePublic, we put out
t-shirts we put out all sorts of merch why not add fuck pillows I mean branded fuck pillows like I'm in Paul use what is now obviously very deep connections have you guys talked about the liberator you know I will now I mean once you guys do a how did this get made fuck pillow I'm definitely gonna talk about it we will add it to cart alright well thank you everybody for listening we'll see you next time bye for now
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